hey everyone! i've got a hard-shell plastic coveprotector thing on my laptop and i've covered the lid of the protector in stickers (because i like the look of having stickers decorating my laptop but also like being able to take the stickers off for meetings, etc lol) but the stickers, mainly in the corners, are starting to peel off. i was wondering if there is anything that i could possibly paint over the stickers to stop them from peeling/coming away? in case it makes a difference, most of the stickers are just paper based stickers, not with the shiny coating, and i live in the uk so generic suggestions or brands available over here if possible :) thank you so much!

ChocoPro 303: Egg ResTart It’s ChocoMania weekend! Tonight’s solitary episode features some rare combinations: Sayaka takes on Masa in singles, the Utility Players face off against the forces of UMA (including Nightmare Factory’s Kojio!), and EGG TART finally reforms to battle two of the wildest Ichigaya has ever housed. Let’s Go, ChocoPro!
🍫 CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK! ChocoPro 303 🍫 Sayaka VS Masa Takanashi, Choun Shiryu & Shin Suzuki VS Sayaka Obihiro & Kojio, Ryuichi Sekine & Mochi Natsumi VS EGG TART (Chie Koishikawa & Hagane Shinno)! It airs TONIGHT at 11 pm EDT / 8 pm PDT (Tomorrow at 4 am BST, 12 pm JST). Live and Free on YouTube!

Don't forget to Adjust Your Volume, Wrestling is Loud!

Change the stage, escape the normal! ChocoPro is built different. Find out why wrestlers like it so much: Find a new home on the bleeding edge. (This is not your regular wrestling show.) Join us for this episode, or check out the back catalog of 17 wonderful Seasons on the Gatoh Move ChocoPro YouTube channel...300+ episodes with stories and pro-wrestling like you've never seen. New to the promotion? It features a roster of skilled veterans, rising stars, and wonderful guests fighting in the ChocoPro Arena: Ichigaya Chocolate Square. Subscribe for more content than just the live matches! (AEW Watch Alongs, Discussions, Interviews, Food Challenges, etc) Even if you can't catch it live, don't sweat it! It will still be available on the channel.

Sayaka 👗

VS

Masa Takanashi 🍶

Violence & Booze

“I'm gonna kill you! Yayyyyy!” While she has become infamous for her unsettling quotes, “Smiling Violence” Sayaka is known more for her ungodly brutal striking power. Those explosion like forearms stagger even the toughest opponents in Ichigaya! Add in Sayaka’s pin point dropkicking ability and her growing talent in pins and submissions, and Masa might find that the rising Twitch star is just too much to handle. Sayaka’s unnerving cheerfulness while she does vicious things provides her with a big presence in the square. That unattached joy will eventually be the stuff of legends! (After all, she’s “happy to beat someone”!) Don't forget, Sayaka hangs out around Minoru Suzuki and survives to tell the tale! Will we see a Hammer of the Gods? This photogenic phenom is on the rise, keep an eye on her!
Drunken Monkey Masa Takanashi is ready for anything! The belt collecting president of Gatoh Move is known for racking up wins as much as he does bar tabs, representing many companies with a swagger and slick technique that will have you questioning just how tipsy he is! The Counter Fighter of ChocoPro baits his opponents into reversals and trickery that will have them staring at the lights or tapping out in quick fashion. He’s got a lot of tricks up his sleeve, but will he be able to handle overwhelming power? Takanashi had better keep up that fancy footwork or he’ll find himself hammered into oblivion! OrePan might have been fended off once by CDK, but Sayaka is still aiming for that big win.

Choun Shiryu 🐉 & Shin Suzuki 🍙

VS

UMA+ (Sayaka Obihiro 💙 & KOJIO 💀)

Utility, Monsters, Action!

Monsters? “So what!?” Choun Shiryu is here! The Dragon of ChocoPro is a Wuxia hero (having done some of the most spectacular acts in Ichigaya) with his own fantastic flair! He is one of the most legitimate forces in the promotion. This Kung Fu master boasts a truly unique fighting style, pulling off action movie stunts you’ll not find elsewhere. While his usual partner is taking some time away from wrestling, (though Ninja Sayuri is still behind the scenes, as is tradition!) this time his partner is fellow utility player Shin Suzuki! Shin is always ready to go! His warm personality and intense athleticism fit well with the general vibe of Ichigaya...and honestly, his knack for dealing with kids (as a proud father) comes in handy in this den of goblins and monsters! Shin & Choun both mesh well with just about any pairing, so expect these two to sync together with machine precision once again. Can speed and teamwork overcome this Arkham Horror?
Fresh off an appearance at GanJo, Sayaka Obihiro is cool as hell! With a deep sense of humor and lightning quick striking & pinning techniques, Obi rules...but she is a bit...different...when she teams with Monsters. The charismatic full time chef has got a great set of flame gear and an intense uncontrollable style. Even if she’s gone feral, you'll find yourself enchanted by her brash nature and wild antics! Strange and occult happenings are somewhat common in Ichigaya, and the mysterious organization known as UMA features many monsters that just so happen to wrestle. Horrors from across the world are attracted to ChocoPro due to their influence...Speaking of which, a cold wind brings a shadow over Ichigaya once again! Hailing from Parts Unknown and trained at the Nightmare Factory (which makes even more sense given that sinister look!), kojio’s frightening presence made him fit right in with the other Monsters of UMA. With brawling brutality, vicious submissions, and an absolutely wicked set of gear that makes him look like a character straight from a comic book, kojio scares his opponents and impresses the audience with his relentless nature and bone chilling aura. That laugh is something else! This unstoppable monster has been a wonderful addition to Ichigaya, but how long will he accept Obi taking pinfalls? I wouldn’t want to upset him!

Ryuichi Sekine 🐗 & Mochi Natsumi 🍡

VS

EGG TART (Chie Koishikawa 🏵️ & Hagane Shinno ⚔️)

Egg ResTart

A returning team up 12 years apart!? Pairing up Mochi Natsumi and Ryuichi Sekine is like putting two different kinds of explosives together. While the Rebellious Hardcore & Deathmatch Unit known as PROMINENCE has a lot of exciting members busy all over the place, Mochi has been killing it in Ichigaya. She is a dark clad fiery personality with an undeniable raw charisma. Her shocking moments of brutality are some of my favorites in the whole series. A well balanced strength and agility fighter with a good sense of humor will always thrive in Ichigaya, but Mochi has fit in as if she was always there...the same can also be said for Sekine! While he took time off to focus on his farming (and to get married to TJPW’s recently retired Nodoka Tenma), he is just as dangerous as he always was! He just also sells Rice Cakes now. Sekine is a loud, wild, completely chaotic element when it comes to Ichigaya. He’s known for obliterating stools and the environment alike! This violent farmer would stop at nothing to entertain the audience, unleashing a volatile way of fighting that usually ends with the opponent locked into the Combine. Much like his emoji (the wild boar), expect Sekine to rampage maniacally through ChocoPro once again. Good thing Mochi is always up for a good rampage! With these two together, be careful not to be overwhelmed by their wild energy and charm!
It has been a long time, but they’re back together! Chie Koishikawa & Hagane Shinno, the combination known as EGG TART, are a hot and cold team. Opposites definitely attract, and the polar attraction results in some of the craziest team attacks you will ever witness! “Too Much Energy” Chie brings an uncontrollable excitement wherever she goes (including recently GanJo), sprinting around the Square and delivering lightning quick striking...often from the air! Her tightly locked Stretch Mufflers and eye catching arm drags will have you shouting as much as she does. The Frantic Fencer is one of the most popular characters in all of ChocoPro! Her Wintery partner on the other hand is a remorseless killing machine...and the Super Asia Champion! Hagane’s icy ferocity usually brings about ugly thuds via heavy striking and brutal slams. The “Cold Killer” earned his epithet by easily dispatching some of the best the promotion has to offer! This ageless assassin only shows emotion around his chaotic partner...and together they amplify one another’s personality! These two have limitless potential, and now that Hagane has the Big Blue Belt they will also have limitless enemies looking for an opportunity!
Enjoy all the wrestling this weekend!
Come and see the wild creativity that produced Two of the Seven AEW Women's World Champions! (Both of which have appeared on ChocoPro!) You'll be wondering if you're seeing future champs, as well. ChocoPro is the Frontier of Pro Wrestling! Match after match of hard hitting, chaotic, fun bouts with a friendly online audience. We're quickly growing, and you're welcome to come along!
Here are some Frequently Asked Questions:

“What is this?”

ChocoPro is a free online promotion run by AEW's Emi Sakura, that takes place in the legendary Ichigaya Chocolate Square! It features a steady pace of live Episode releases, fan interaction, season long story arcs, and much more! A place where the turnbuckles are replaced with 14th floor windows, the ropes are often replaced with fans, unforgiving walls provide creative avenues for skills otherwise unthinkable, and you can take solace in knowing that the referees usually do nothing. While it might be a shocking change at first, the intensity and storytelling will leave you wanting more.

“Why are they fighting in ____?”

Short answer is that it is a cost effective, unique venue with a better availability schedule and allows the roster access for training. Emi Sakura has been using this place for a long time, and you might be surprised at some of the names that have used it (even outside of ChocoPro!). There are a few in-ring Episodes and Gatoh Move has in ring shows with crowds on the YouTube channel. Think of it like the Hart Dungeon but as a promotion, if that helps!

”What are the rules?”

While special match stipulations will usually be explained before the respective matches, the general rules of ChocoPro are simple. Pins only count on the Chocolate Mat and are not broken by the edge or Wall. Submissions usually only count on the Chocolate Mat, and ARE broken by reaching the edge or wall (sometimes ceiling...). Double pins and Double submissions are legal (and encouraged) in ChocoPro Tag matches, meaning cohesive teams will always have the advantage! Count Outs only exist if specified, since many matches stray from the comfort of the Chocolate Square into the streets (and the rest of the building itself!) There is a Time Limit for each bout (based on card placement and importance) and the Referee has discretion (even if they tend to do nothing most of the time!). Every Ref is different, some have different levels of bias and speed.

“How can I support them?”

Watch the show! Even if you can't see it live, the views matter! Like & Subscribe! You can join the Channel's membership for different tiers of perks...but also, you can buy single episode Sponsorship, Digital autographed photos, and more on their shop site as well as purchase shirts from PWTees (which features some great options!) If you'd like to donate or purchase a main wall sponsorship, you can via Paypal or Patreon...and don't forget to cheer for your favorites! (especially if you want to do a superchat!)

”How come there aren’t a lot of comments on the threads?”

ChocoPro is a YouTube show, meaning the discourse happens live...in the chat! Those that comment in the threads on here tend to do so in order to help new viewers that might be intimidated by the fast moving chat. Don’t be afraid to just dive in though, the community is friendly.

“Why are you posting this here? / Are you paid for this?”

This is a wrestling forum, and I'm trying to broaden the horizons of others! There is a lot of good wrestling out there...Plus growing the fan base means more people for me to joke around with! I honestly do believe this is what a lot of fans are looking for, even if it is too different for some! But different tastes are good. Variety is the spice of life. This is a labor of love (it really doesn't take that long) considering how much work they do to put on so many shows...for free!
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me on here or on Twitter, where I’m April Foolin’! ChocoPro is full of Mania!
Season Tracker: We're 3/18 into Season 18! (Each Season is usually around 18 episodes)

​
“Watch where you're going, doofus” Itachi snapped, pushing the person who had bumped into him just a few moments ago.
“Im....Sorry” Geiju bowed, his beret falling from his head like a cherry blossom petal.
That was his first impression of the stoic redhead, A clumsy, weak, and art-loving sissy that seemed to entrance the school the second He first walked in the gate, He was pathetic and gay, the type of man he hated. He couldn't understand how somebody could purposely make themselves appear so weak, so fragile... Just waiting for somebody to swoop them up in their arms and never let go.
Did he stupidly fall in love? Sadly yes.
He just couldn't help it, Geiju was possibly the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on, His soft silky red hair, His emerald orb-like eyes that glimmered in the light, his frail but long arms and legs, star-speckled freckles and a perfect voice. He was like an angel, a heavenly being created with love and care by the goddess Aphrodite. The mental image of Geiju on a comfy lace bed with pillows and ribbons, in soft baby-pink kitty lingerie, was enough to make his whole face burn red in lust, guilt, and shame. He would peek from behind the art club door, just to watch him paint. He would watch in awe as Geiju created life on a canvas, from mere color, curve, and line. He would silently watch, captivated by his talent.
He wanted to fuse with him, to fill all his senses with his scent, so Itachi would be the only thing geiju would think about. Oh, to rip all his clothes off his body and take him right there and then, In front of everybody. And do it again and again and again and agai-
“ITACHIIIIIIIIIIIIII-SENPAIIII!”
“WHAT!?”
Mantaro conked him in the head with his shampoo bottle, as Hojiro and Unagi both exploded into boisterous laughter.
“You're going to waste all the water” Iruka said, Slipping on his boxers. He was also very cute, With plump cheeks and short, curvy figure.
He got up and dried himself up, there were lots of boys in school that he liked, Otohiko, A boy that wore the female uniform, He had peach pink hair and pretty little amber eyes, He had decided that Otohiko was too sweet for his dirty hands. Iruka was also alluring, He was quiet but not in the same way as Geiju, he was more straightforward and preferred to talk only when it was necessary. He had swishy silver-grey hair and soft ruby-red eyes. But judging by the way Iruka’s eyes would stay glued to Asu’s chest and butt when she was in her swimsuit, it would be worthless to try anything. Besides Mantaro would kill him with his own hands if he even breathed the wrong way around him.
He finished buttoning up his uniform top, He got a text from his father, or as he liked to call the mouthpiece of shit, Limpdick. It wasn't anything, just telling him to come home or he’d “Beat his ass” He wanted to see him try, He was a lot stronger now, so he could beat his ass.
He stepped out of the locker room, The setting sun looking gorgeous as always. He sighed and tossed his backpack over his shoulders, he really wanted to try talking to Geiju, but he had absolutely no idea where to even start, besides why would geiju like him? He had been nothing but rude to him so what reason would he have?
He kept his head down as he walked out of the school gates; The warm and comforting environment of sunset made him feel a lot better. As he was walking home, he couldn't say he wasn't pondering over asking Geiju out. What if he said the wrong thing and messed it all up? What if they started dating and they weren't meant to be? After all, it was so rare to find such a gorgeous being, it was a miracle he actually managed to find such a person, but he was worried.
He got home and went straight to his room.
“If I start being nicer to people, would he like me?” He thought to himself as he undressed and slipped into his pajamas. He walked over to his mirror and took off his shirt.
As a child, he was a very scrawny and feminine build, something his father hated, so he would always belittle him. He thought that, maybe, if he got big and strong, he would feel confident in himself.
But unfortunately, that didn't happen, he was muscular and lean now but he still felt insecure and weak inside.
“Why?” Itachi frowned, touching his chest. “Why don’t I feel strong?” he asked himself. He was angry with himself; He would never grow a pair and just ask the boy he loved so much. He was afraid of doing anything that might make his dad angry at him again. And yet, he still wanted to talk to Geiju, to make him feel happy, to hold him in his arms and never let him go.
He sighed, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine Geiju's face, He imagined his snow-white skin, his delicate fingers, and his kissable lips. He imagined him wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight, He imagined him smiling and laughing, He pictured him painting the flowers Itachi worked so hard to grow.
He opened his eyes and saw tears leaving his eyes. “What is this? Why am I crying, I'm a man! I shouldn't cry for a boy that probably hates me” he complained to nobody.
Itachi wiped his tears away and stood there, He thought about all the things he wanted to say, the words he wanted to say and how they sounded in his mind. How they would sound in his heart.
“I want you to smile for me, I want you to laugh with me, I want you to be my Husband” Itachi whispered to himself, closing his eyes again.
“I need you, I can't live without you, please, just tell me your feelings” He sat on his bed, Clutching a pillow tightly. He knew that if he never tried, nothing would happen. If he never even tried to talk to him he would regret, it forever. He pulled up a dating strategy on his phone, to prepare
-
Geiju was so engrossed in painting that he did not notice the footsteps behind him until he was Kabedon wall slammed.
He gasped, flinching for a moment before looking up to see the very person he had been imagining.
Itachi could feel his heart tighten as he looked at Geiju’s little “o” face of surprise. He stood there, frozen, words failing to leave his mouth.
Geiju was completely red in the face, his lips quivering, his hands shaking. He stared at Itachi with wide eyes, as though he was seeing him for the first time, like a stranger. His heart was racing in his chest as the realization that his crush had just wall slammed him.
“Uhhhh......” Geiju stammered out, He was still staring at Itachi in shock.
“I....I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" Itachi mumbled awkwardly, his heart beating loudly in his ears.
“No, no” Geiju shook his head. “It's ok” he felt himself hand flap, trying to calm down his racing heart. Geiju smiled nervously, He cleared his throat and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants.
“Uhh....I just wanted to ask.......do you want to have lunch with me?” Itachi nervously stammered out.
Geiju blinked a few times, He was surprised but also happy. "Yes, I'd love to!" he replied immediately, making Itachi sigh with relief.
True to his word, Geiju had lunch with him that day, He learned that geiju adored anything with strawberries, especially strawberry shortcakes. So, every time they ate together, he would bring him strawberry shortcake for them both, and they would talk about everything under the sun, they talked about school and about their pasts, their hobbies, and their likes and dislikes, they shared many laughs and smiles and soon, their friendship grew and grew.
They became best friends; their relationship grew stronger and stronger. Itachi would do anything for Geiju, He would sacrifice himself for him and he would do it gladly. He was afraid that one day he would lose him, so he gave him his heart and soul.
He slowly started to see himself becoming kinder and gentler. He changed his hairstyle to a bob cut that swished around his head.
He got brave enough to get a therapist to talk about his issues. And he had to thank it all on geiju. His feelings for Geiju got stronger and stronger until he couldn't deny it anymore. He had to ask him out. He knew that he should've done it sooner, but he was scared, he was afraid that Geiju wouldn't accept him for who he truly was.
“Geiju, I know this might seem sudden, but would you like to go out with me?" He asked while they were walking home from school. Geiju blushed and nodded, making him hug him in joy.
The date was on Saturday, they would meet in front of the 7-11 at 2:45 precisely. There Itachi would take him to a restaurant and then a walk through the park.
The rest of the week was excessively boring and dull, the two tentatively waited for the school day to end to prepare for tomorrow’s date.
Geiju knew he wanted to cross-dress but wasn't sure exactly what to wear. Luckily, he had Otohiko, a fellow cross-dresser's advice.
“Something with his favorite colors, tell me his favorites” Otohiko said, he wore a pearl pink oversized sweater and pure white drawstring shorts. “Black, orange” Geiju replied, readjusting his skirt.
“Well, you can wear Black Mary Janes and some orange jewelry” Otohiko got up from his very soft bed and strutted over to his closet, pulling out a pair of lolita Style Mary Janes with sheer white bows decorating them.
“Maybe you can wear something tight... you know........to leave him with a veryy gooood memory” He teased, watching Geiju’s face light up.
Back in his house, Geiju chose a light pink sailor dress with a white petticoat, he replaced the dark red ribbon with a light orange ribbon, black pantyhose, and the Mary Janes that Otohiko let him borrow. Shouko had gifted him an orange-themed necklace a few years ago, so he fished it out of his trinket box.
-
Itachi leaned against the light pole, a bouquet of flowers in hand, a special handpicked bunch of bright red roses, Violets, and green carnations. He grew the flowers all by himself, so he really hoped that Geiju would like them.
“Ita-Kun” he turned to see Geiju, who was in a dress. He felt his entire face burn red as he looked Geiju up and down. He looked so Innocent and girly in that dress.
Geiju smiled softly and twirled around, “Like it?” he teased, making Itachi blush harder.
He pulled Geiju into a hug, his heart racing as he held Geiju close. Geiju smiled happily as he snuggled closer to Itachi, putting his arms around him.
He presented Geiju with the flowers and he put them into his bag, taking a green carnation and putting it in his hair.
They walked close together, Itachi with his arm around Geiju’s waist, They laughed and chatted about random things.
“Alright, were here” Itachi said, stopping in front of the café that he had chosen, Itachi looked up at the sign above the door.
It read 'Café Yume' in colorful letters.
Geiju looked up at the sign, smiling widely, He hugged Itachi close and whispered, "Thank you for going on this date with me!"
The two walked in, with a young woman in a maid dress greeting them.
“Welcome Master” She chirped; Itachi quickly realized why the café had such good reviews, he had chosen a fucking maid café, on his first date. Shit.
Geiju was surprised but went along with it. “Yeah, sorry....” “No, it's okay” Geiju reassured Itachi it was ok, the two chatted while waiting for their food.
Geiju ordered a Hamburg curry with orange juice and Itachi ordered an omurice. Itachi made the mental note to get better at cooking.
The food came out and it smelled absolutely delicious, Geiju's was even more delicious than it looked. The two savoured every bite of their meal,
“So, how’s your mom” Itachi asked. “She’s great, Shes going to have our little sister soon”
“Oh, Shes pregnant?’ “Yeah!” Geiju replied excitedly, giggling.
“Aww, I'm happy for her!” Itachi replied with a smile. “What about your mom Ita-kun?” Geiju asked innocently.
Itachi frowned, His mother had left when he was very young, she had packed up her bags and left. He had never seen her or even heard from her since.
“She’s........fine” he lied, not wanting to sour Geiju’s mood. “That’s good” geiju replied, picking the dessert menu, and ordering a Strawberry shortcake.
Itachi brought out his wallet and paid for their meal, making them both smile happily.
-
The blooming cherry blossoms were gorgeous, Geiju had told Itachi he loved flowers, so he brought him to a beautiful park where there were tons of cherry trees. The petals of the trees had fallen, they were all over the ground like snow and the air was filled with the sweet scent of the flowers.
The two lay down in the cool grass, watching the clouds pass overhead. They watched birds flutter around, laughing as Children chased each other.
“This is amazing, so peaceful” Geiju commented, gazing up at the sky. “Yeah, its nice” Itachi agreed.
Geiju put his arm around Itachi, the two nuzzled into each other.
“Geiju?” Itachi whispered. Geiju looked up at him and smiled. “Yes, Ita-Kun?” he whispered back. “I love you” Itachi confessed, making Geiju smile wider.
“I.....Love you too” Geiju murmured, cuddling up to Itachi. The two sat and stared up at the sky, watching the clouds float by. Itachi was content, he had finally told Geiju how he felt and he had been accepted.
They stayed like that for hours, Cuddling close together. “Um...” “Yeah?”
“Can we kiss?” Geiju asked shyly. Itachi blushed, embarrassed, but nodded. Geiju leaned in and kissed Itachi on the lips, his tongue gently caressing Itachi’s bottom lip. It was their first kiss, so it was sloppy and awkward, but still romantic.
Geiju broke off the kiss, looking up at Itachi. He smiled tenderly and Itachi smiled back, kissing Geiju on the cheek.
“Your........good....at this’ Geiju murmured, blushing. “No, you're good at this” Itachi teased, poking his belly.
“Do you want to do it again?” Geiju asked shyly, looking up at Itachi.
“Yeah!” Itachi replied, leaning down to kiss Geiju on the lips once more.
Itachi could feel his heart beating faster and he knew that he loved Geiju more than ever before.
At this point, the sun was starting to set, painting the sky in yellow, purple and red.
"Wow, it really does look like a painting..." Geiju murmured, staring up at the beautiful sky.
“Yeah... it's pretty amazing” Itachi agreed.
The two laid down on the grass in silence, just enjoying each others company.
“Hey, Ita-Kun?” Geiju asked timidly. “Yeah, what is it?” "Will.....you be my boyfriend?" He shyly asked, making Itachi smile. “Of course! Yes! I'll be your boyfriend forever!” Itachi exclaimed excitedly, hugging Geiju tightly.
Geiju smiled and hugged him back, the two held each other close for a long time.
"Ita.......I have to go home...." Geiju said, frowning. "Why?" Itachi asked worriedly.
"My family will be worried if I don't come home by sundown" Geiju explained.
“Oh” Itachi replied, thinking about it. . "Im sure your family will be worried for you too" Geiju said, Starting to get up. Itachi sighed, His father didnt give a shit about him, he knew if his son never came home, his father wouldn't think twice about it.
"Let's walk home together then" Geiju suggested.
Itachi nodded, relieved that Geiju wanted to stay with him. The two walked side by side, holding hands and talking about random stuff. Itachi was growing progresively more nervous, what would his father think of his son dating a man? Itachi wondered if his dad even thought of him.
"Im hungry......" Geiju muttered. "Again?" "Yeah..." Itachi really didn't want to go home now, so he asked Geiju if he could eat dinner at his house. "My dad's out most of the time, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind it" Itachi said, forcing a smile.
"Ok, I guess I can come over" Geiju said, sounding quite content. Mama would get to meet Him!
-
“Mama! Im back!” Geiju called out, taking off his shoes at the entrance.
"Mom at her obstetrician appointment! She and dad will come back soon!" Shouko called out from the kitchen, He noticed Itachi and Gave him his signature grin.
"Oh hey, Hi!" Shouko chirped and quickly went back to preparing dinner. "Uh, I didn't know that you and Shouko-san were brothers' Itachi said. "Stepbrothers" Geiju replied. “Mama and Shouko’s papa got married” Geiju continued.
“Yeah? I wanna meet them after dinner” Itachi said enthusiastically. “Sure” Geiju replied with a smile, going upstairs to change.
Geiju changed into pastel green drawstring shorts and a Cream Pj shirt with light green lines. He took off his jewelry and scurried back downstairs.
Itachi was with Shouko, Engaging in light small talk. "Im making hamburg curry with cardamom spice, I hope Geiju likes it," Shouko said excitedly.
Itachi grinned, "I'm sure he will". "Is it done yet?!” Geiju called out, coming back down the stairs.
“Almost” Shouko replied. “Zametora-kun, can you help set the table?” he asked, Itachi nodded and went over to help Geiju.
"Thanks, Ita-Kun!" Geiju said gratefully. Itachi and Geiju worked together to place the plates on the table. Geiju grabbed the cups and Itachi placed plates on the table.
"And done!" Shouko said, grinning. “Yay,” Geiju said, and Shouko pulled out a bottle of orange juice. Shouko then brought over the curry and Itachi poured the juice into the cups.
“Let's eat!” Shouko said, giving Itachi and Geiju a smile. "Thanks for having me here," Itachi said, grabbing a fork. Geiju nodded, smiling widely as he grabbed his own spoon.
Everyone dug in, and Itachi couldn't stop thinking about how cute Geiju was. Geiju was super polite, always saying please and thank you.
"Is good,” Geiju said, "Thank you, Im glad you like it!" Shouko replied. Itachi smiled, he felt odd being in the presence of family love, when he had dinner with his father, they never talked, sometimes His father would berate him, or he wasn't there at all. On those days he would just order a pizza or heat up leftovers. Shouko's food tasted really good, better than anything that he had ever eaten. Geiju was staring at Itachi, smiling happily at him.
“We should watch a movie after dinner” Shouko said, looking between Itachi and Geiju. “My neighbor Totoro” Geiju quickly said, making everyone laugh at how quickly he said it.
They all huddled up on the couch. Geiju cuddled up to Itachi, making him smile. Geiju had his head on Itachi's shoulder. He felt like he was part of the family now.
This. This is where he belonged.
Itachi was so happy; he hadn't felt this way since his mom left.
He had been abandoned by his mother and his father is abusive, but now he had found a family who loved him.
Finally.

1 day pre-op
Early morning It is raining cats and dogs. I wake my husband up to take me to the airport. I arrive in Madrid and now I have a few hours to kill before I can check into my airbnb. I eat half a chicken pita and coffee before 13:00, since I need to fast for 6 hours before my consultation and tests.
Afternoon I check into the airbnb - it’s COLD. I message the host about the heating and apparently it comes on later.
Evening I am at the hospital and they send me from one place to the other and finally I get to the right place. Consultation, blood tests etc. A lot of waiting. I am STARVING.
Late Evening After everything I scuff down the apple and half pita that I had left in my handbag. Tired, I return to the airbnb and it’s freezing. Try to take a shower and the water is cold. Can’t recover from a surgery here.
Operation day
06:30 I wake up and can’t feel my feet. Too late for breakfast. I just eat an apple and gulp down copious amounts of water.
07:00 Fast starts. I get ready, book a hotel and call airbnb. The customer service is amazing and they give me a full refund.
11:00 Hotel let’s me check in early after I explain that I will not be able to check in after surgery. I buy some liquids and lay out towels, pajamas etc. The bed is really comfy and the room is nice (and warm).
13:00 I am at the hospital, someone misplaced me for an hour. We go through the final steps. It goes fast. At around 15:00 I am in the surgery room.
?? I remember waking up in the ICU/recovery room and later in the private room. The doctor and anesthesiologist sit with me in my room and slowly help me get dressed after she takes out the catheter. She combs my hair because there is a lot of blood in it. I get sick twice. It’s around 01:30 and I had no idea it was this late. I message a quick “am ok” to my husband and mom, eventhough I don’t feel okay at all. I feel in disbelief that I am being discharged now. My hip is THROBBING and it is impossible to put weight on my right leg. A taxi picks me up for the 600m to the hotel and he stops at the pharmacy to pick up medicine for me. I tip him well because he had to help me get out of the car and into the hotel room. He also stopped because I got sick again.
The rest of the night is not friendly to me. I needed to wee so I got up from the bed, but all I remember is when I woke up I was moaning on the floor, totally blacked out, meaning I had fell hard. I think I just napped on the floor after that and in some miraculous way got back to the bed eventually.
1 day post op
09:00 Next morning and I am doing a bit better, I hear my heartbeat in my ears the whole time. I am in and out of sleep and listening to my book. Getting out of bed is a massive struggle and pain due to the hip bone graft. I sip on protein shakes and juice. Eventually I ask the doctor about the noise in my ears. She comes by to the hotel and takes my vitals, she says everything is fine under the circumstances, my blood pressure will pick up again then I will feel better again, because I lost a lot of blood when they did the bone grafting.
Rest of the day is a blur. Called the airline to ask for assistance because I can’t even walk 10 feet without feeling like passing out. The lady was so patient because I can barely talk. I muster the energy to wash my hair over the tub, because I don’t think they let people fly that can’t walk, talk well and with blood in their hair. Pink water everywhere, I slump into the bed exhausted wet hair and all.
2 days post op
7:00 I get up and take 45 min to get ready and pack, I only came with a backpack. I almost didn’t need anything as I was just sleeping most of the time. I am glad I packed my own towel to sleep on because there was blood and the hotel linens are white. The trip back feels like a mountain in front of me.
I am astounded that the operation coordinator said I should be able to fly home today, because I feel like death warmed up. It was probably when she thought I was still coming with someone.
Once at the airport I take about 20 mins to find the assistance booth and almost cry from relief when I get there. From there on they make sure I get where I need to be. On the flight I get a few looks because I guess I don’t really look sick, especially with a mask on that covers most of the swelling and bruising. I puke twice into a barf bag. The flight was very empty. My head is ON FIRE.
I didn’t think there would be assistance at the arrival airport because I’m not even sure what I booked, but thank goodness as I’m limping out of the plane a wheelchair appears and the man behind it asks me “Ms X?”. I almost cry again which is weird because I haven’t been this emotional in a long time. Husband is waiting for me at arrivals.
Finally at home and I am relieved and very very exhausted. I just sleep from here on out. Some time during the night I wake up and take a shower. I sleep with a cold cloth on my forehead, because this headache is out of this world.
As a side note: My husband is freaked out. He says I look like another person. I know he isn’t trying to upset me but he looks horrified. I’m not sure how to deal with this so I try to let it go. I look like 100 bees stung my face. At least my phone recognizes me.
3 days post op
I wake up at 6 with master headache. Somewhere during the night I moved to the couch to sleep upright and to ice my head with icewater and cloths. Maxxed out on prescription meds. I don’t want to over medicate but I can’t deal with this so my husband takes me to the hospital. I ask them to please just get rid of the headache but they insist on a CT because I passed out on the floor 2 nights ago. They put me on a pain drip which doesn’t work, make me wait 1.5 hours for a CT in a very bright waiting room (could have been worse). Afterwards the doc says he doesn’t want to put me on another drip, he just gives me medication to drink. Not happy with this as the pain is at the same level as when I arrived, and at this stage even keeping liquids down is difficult. At least my brain is okay according to the CT. When we return home I continue to ice my head and I just try to sleep. I have the weirdest scariest dreams.
4 days post op
The headache continues throughout today, with ups and downs. It is more bearable than the previous day. We have the most uneventful Christmas and finally in the evening we watch a Christmas movie together. We eat a very soft spaghetti bolognaise. Chewing is a mission and I need to clean my mouth every hour, doctor’s orders. Yesterday was the first day I ate solid food and I think that helped a lot with the dizziness. (Different doctors have different guidelines, mine’s were soft foods like pasta, risotto, liquids, white fish, eggs etc.)
5 days post op
Horrible night and the headache is back with a vengeance at 06:00. I take more medicine and fall asleep again. When I wake up again at 10:30 I am desperate. I read up all the ways to get rid of headaches. I put on my warm robe and boots, and I put a cold, wet cloth around my neck and sit on the balcony. It’s -2c so the fresh air hits hard and keeps the cloth cold. I drink a cup of coffee with a straw and the maximum combined allowed dose of pain meds. 30 mins later and pure bliss as the headache has gone. Then all of a sudden I feel good. I am actually a little worried to be feeling this normal all of a sudden.
19:00 Note since this morning: everything is in check and haven’t had pain meds since this morning. I feel like a whole different person. My prayers have been answered. I was able to shower, wash my hair again, cook dinner (in slow motion), make the bed etc. But still very careful not to exert myself.
I mustered up the courage to take off the plaster from my hip. It is VERY bruised. The cut is long and thin, I think I will be able to make it disappear with some tlc once it is completely healed. I wasn’t expecting it to be this long.
Day 5 Notes:
Cleaning teeth is a mission and the first 3 days I was just rinsing my mouth with water every 3-4 hours, and always directly after eating. I have been flossing 2-3 times a day since day 2.
Still drinking with straws
I put on a lot of vaseline on my lips to prevent it from drying out, as I can’t close my mouth “relaxed” yet. I think it helped to an extent.
Huge mistake practically skipping breakfast the morning of the surgery, also because the night before I didn’t pay a lot of attention to dinner. I think if I had more fuel it would have been a little easier.
7 days post op
Pretty uneventful, the bruise on my hip is a little wild, the swelling on my face has gone down tremendously.
Walking is still a little difficult, but a lot better.
——————
The doctor calls quite regularly to check up and I am very happy that I chose to go with him at the end. He and the anesthesiologist are amazing.
—————— For some reason I thought this was going to be a lot easier. Maybe it was because the surgery coordinator said I can go home 2 days post op which made me believe it would have been okay by then, or maybe it was because most posts I’ve seen about it seemed to have been somewhat easy. I think I definitely did not pay attention to how painful the bone graft was going to be. I would NOT recommend doing this alone. The doctor also told me once I was there he is surprised that I came alone after all. Before I went, I asked the operation coordinator if I must sleep in the hospital one night, because I am coming alone, and she told me I will be fine alone because I am very close to the hospital, and a lot of patients stay in that specific hotel to recover. In hindsight I wish I would have insisted on sleeping in the hospital that one night.
——————
Biggest 3M: post-op concern is lip incompetence and some soft tissue asymmetry. Hopefully this clears up between months 3-6. Otherwise I will enquire about a revision or a mentalis resuspension.
Biggest 4M concern: still slightly worries about the lower lip, but it has improved drastically. This is the first month I am also not on the fence about having had this operation and starting to like the results
Tl;dr operation was harder than expected, mental rollercoaster until month 4, only liked results by month 4, still slightly worried about lip competence (it’s getting better), still drooling a lot at night

Part I
Rajendra Jain had been pacing back and forth in his living room for the past fifteen minutes and there was no trace in his pace that would’ve indicated that he would not indeed be doing the same for fifteen more.
Sitting on the sofa, cross-legged and sipping a cup of coffee was his wife, Arushi Madan. She had taken a particular interest in observing her husband at times when he would be expecting his ‘friends in high places.’ He would go to great lengths to ensure that these guests of his received the finest treatment in his house. After he had made sure that everything in the house was tidier than they normally were, from the furniture to the modest collection of vases and trinkets, he would start pacing back on forth in his living room which he would only stop when the doorbell would ring. This was one such occasion.
‘Fifty-five!” Arushi murmured.
“What was that?” Rajendra asked and then he suddenly let out a loud cry of agony.
“It’s usually after your fiftieth round that you stub your toe on that table. The maximum it has taken till now is fifty-nine rounds, but mostly it happens by the fifty-fifth one.” Arushi said.
They both glanced at each other, Rajendra with a bewildered gaze and mouth wide open while Arushi smirked with a cunning look in her eyes. Arushi was good at observing things at a young age. She could observe and make an accurate assumption about almost everything. When she was twelve, she knew that the old lady next door would react in a negative manner when her father would’ve approached her to talk about her grandson taking up his parking spot. She had instead told him to wait till his grandson arrives and speak with him directly as that would’ve solved the dispute amicably.
“You shouldn’t make early assumptions.” Her father had told her.
After her assumption had turned out to be right, she had the same smirk and cunning look in her eyes. Her father had then smiled back and told her that her eyes at that point looked pretty like that of a puppy after sipping vinegar. She had never seen a puppy sip vinegar before, but this compliment had made her feel happy, nevertheless.
She, however, hadn’t received nor did she expect to receive any such compliment from her husband in such situations.
“Can you stop giving me that stupid smile and bring some bandages? Ugh, I think my toe is bleeding.” Rajendra said as he got down to his knees to inspect his wound.
Arushi didn’t say anything but, quickly got up from her sofa after keeping the coffee mug down and went to look for the first aid.
Just then the doorbell rang. The friends of Rajendra had arrived.
He sprang up to greet them. He had made four influential friends that he would refer to as ‘very close’ since he had moved for business reasons to Barsatpur, a very remote town in India.’ Rajendra despite at that time undergoing some financial issues, was a wealthy man. He had a big house, the biggest in that town and didn’t have a car only because he could not drive.
“But your wife can drive. Why don’t you get a car.” Dhruv, one of Rajendra’s four friends asked him, just as all five of them had seated themselves in the living room.
‘I err…. she doesn’t drive that well you see, and I don’t see any reason for…’ Rajendra began and then suddenly stopped and turned around to see Arushi who had re-entered the living room with bandages and some cotton along with a bottle of antiseptic.
“Sorry, it took a while, I had kept the first aid in a different place so….”
“Well, I won’t be needing it anymore!” Rajendra said.
Arnav who had by now noticed Rajendra's wounds began with a smile “Looks like our buddy Rajendra’s absent-mindedness gets him injured indoors as well.”
Rajendra began to quiver in embarrassment as he fixed his gaze on the floor with fists clenched on both sides. Arushi was still standing behind the sofa where Rajendra was sitting, puzzled at Arnav’s remark.
Rajendra looked up at his wife and through an angry glance at her signalled her to leave. She obeyed but just as she turned her back to leave, Arnav told her to wait.
He began “It was that one time when I saw Rajendra walking alone near the market, lost in his own thoughts as usual. Suddenly I saw him falling straight into a wide-open ditch and after that got covered in all sorts of nasty…”
“That will do!” Rajendra finally blurted angrily. He then turned to Arushi and began in an angrier tone than before. “And you! Do you want to sit and chat with us, or do you have some work of your own?” Arushi didn’t reply but simply turned and walked away.
Rajendra felt calmer when she was gone. He however didn’t notice how all four his companions had been gazing at her as she was walking out of the living room. They had gazed at the back of her long and slender neck, and they had gazed all the way down to her waist and hips. All the while Rajendra felt relieved at the thought of how he was now free to converse with his friends now that the only annoying presence was gone.
It had been a couple of hours of talking and feasting and drinking until Rajendra’s guests were ready to go home.
“The food was delicious.” Said Tejas.
“Yes, but next time try the new chicken recipe that I told you about, the one with lots of garlic and spices.” Added Dhruv. “Your wife would love it too.”
“She is vegetarian actually.” Rajendra replied.
“Ah, that’s no surprise.” Said Arnav who was a bit too drunk compared to the rest. “After all she is an animal lover. Loves hugging dogs whenever she sees one.” His voice shifted from faint to loud at the same pace as he swayed from left to right while trying to achieve a fixed standing position.
The rest of the company wondered if he should be told to stop talking before he decides to abandon certain moral codes when it comes to respectful communication.
“And I must add…” Arnav continued while raising his hand which was also having a hard time staying firmly raised “women who are vegetarians have the perfect body, and my dearest lucky Rajendra, your miss’s body can rival any runway or lingerie model. I mean she also does like showing herself off when she wears those extremely revealing clothes often.”
One would imagine Rajendra was the person that told him to stop talking about his wife in such a way, but he wasn’t. It was Pratyush. Pratyush was a man of great size and stature. He didn’t speak much but had a habit of stepping in whenever there was a situation where someone was needed to step in.
In this scenario he gently lifted Arnav from his feet as if he was a small doll. Arnav who had offered no resistance while being picked up had suddenly dozed off in his drunken stupor like a toddler falling asleep in his father’s shoulder.
“Looks like he had a bit too much to drink today didn’t he.” Said, Rajendra.
No one of his four companions had asked for him to defend the man who was sexualizing his wife, but he did it anyway. “All right then goodnight,” said Rajendra.
“Before I go, I just want to ask if….” Tejas said. He looked around and signalled the others to carry on.
Tejas waited till the rest of the company had gone beyond hearing distance. He then lit a cigarette, offered one to Rajendra as is courtesy and upon his rejection began to speak.
“I was wondering if you have had some time to think about what I had asked you a couple of days back?”
Rajendra said in a hesitant tone “I would of course like to help you in your time of need but as you already know I am also going through financial hardships and the amount of money that you asked for is…. don’t take it the wrong way but I don’t feel comfortable in lending it to you in such times.”
“Look, I have always trusted you and it’s fine if you have some reservations despite this.” Tejas continued with his persuasion for a while and then went off saying his “goodnight” and “do think about it.”
As Rajendra walked his way towards the entrance of his house, he recalled what Arushi had been telling him. She had said that all these four people whom he considers friends just tried to use, and associate with him for his wealth. She had also told him that if given the opportunity, they will even throw him in jeopardy if that makes them gain any advantage out of him. However, Rajendra had always dismissed these thoughts as baseless.
Part II
It was raining heavily, and Rajendra who was returning home from the market had forgotten his umbrella. His fast-paced walk soon turned to sprint, not because he wanted to reach home before getting too drenched but because he didn’t want to be seen by any of his four ‘close friends’ walking drenched in rain without an umbrella, given his reputation of being absent-minded and clumsy.
His house had a recent infestation of rats, and he was for once proud of himself to have not forgotten buying the rat poison. The old one was almost finished with zero dead rats. As he entered his living room, he found an old man lying down on his living room sofa.
He too had been drenched in the rain not long ago as his thick beard and scarce and thin hair were still wet. However, he saw that this unexpected visitor had been provided dry clothes. It was Rajendra’s clothes that he would wear at business meetings. The man was asleep. Rajendra had only examined the man for a little while before deeming him as ‘disgusting.’ He had no foul odour but his unkempt appearance and his wet and dirty jacket hanging nearby made Rajendra deduce that he was a poor homeless man and hence was to be deemed ‘disgusting.’
“Arushi!” Rajendra called his wife.
“Arushi, who is he and what is he doi….” Rajendra paused when Arushi showed up with an expression on her face that he didn’t expect and one that that scenario hinted of trouble.
She had tears in her eyes and had a hard time speaking what she was trying to say. “He just…. I am so sorry…he is not….” She broke into more tears.
Rajendra rushed to her and gave her a hug. “It’s alright, I am here now.”
Arushi clenched her husband tightly and buried her face on his chest that made the only part of his shirt that was somewhat dry from rain now wet with tears.
“tell me what happened? Who is this man and why is he here?” Rajendra asked agitatedly.
“He is dead!” She replied reply. Outside there came the sound of a sudden loud thunder.
Rajendra felt like he was going to fall sick.
“How did this happen?” He asked.
Arushi hesitated for a while, took a deep breath, wiped off her tears and started with her explanation. She explained how this man arrived at her doorstep while being drenched in rain. How despite him looking like a homeless man wandering the streets, she immediately recognized him as his old friend from college. How he had told her that he was in extreme debt and had now been pushed to crippling poverty. She took another deep breath when she said that she had invited him in, given him some fresh clothes, offered him a glass of water and had only gone to the kitchen to make him some tea when she realized her mistake.
“You don’t mean it was the same glass which contained….?” Rajendra began in a terrified tone.
Arushi simply nodded in affirmative while pointing to the glass that had supposedly contained liqua-tox II, a liquid concentrate that is used to kill rats and mice and which had led to the death of their unexpected visitor.
Rajendra fell into the chair in a state of fear and panic. Arushi was sobbing once more and told him that she had killed a person and will now surely be in prison.
Rajendra suddenly leapt up from his chair. An idea had struck him. He knew how to save her. Rajendra felt a sense of jubilation thinking how this sudden idea will make him the knight in shining armour and his wife will be the damsel in distress that he will save. Never again will he be called things clumsy, impotent and absent-minded and never again will his wife count the number of rounds he takes in the living room before he stubs his toe on the table.
His idea was to call his four friends in high places and with their connections dispose of the dead body. After all why would anyone care or miss a man who was pushed to poverty by possibly his own bad decisions. Most people would probably think that this man had committed suicide.
Rajendra explained this plan to his wife and before she could give any opinion of her own, for or against this plan of his, Rajendra ran to get his cell phone. He called Arnav first who said that he was out of town and reassured him not to worry. He then called Tejas who said that he would have shown up at his place that very moment had he not just recently fractured his leg. Dhruv declared that he was away attending a wedding and Pratyush said that will not help.
After his call ended with Pratyush he felt that he was indeed helpless. He thought to himself that he was just unlucky as this misfortune had to strike him when all three of his friends were busy and one in a possibly mad mood.
He sat motionless in his chair for what felt like hours. It probably had hardly been fifteen minutes and the rain was still pouring when Rajendra suddenly heard a knock on the door. As he opened the door, he felt a rush of joy. All his four friends were outside.
“Thank God, I knew you all will come to help me.” Rajendra said smiling ear to ear.
“This is him, officer.” Said Arnav pointing towards Rajendra.
Rajendra’s smile faded as he heard this, and a look of terror took hold of him as he noticed two police officers standing behind.
“What is the meaning off all this?” Rajendra asked bewildered.
“This man tried to ask her to hide a dead body. His wife murdered a poor man, and he wanted us to be his accomplice.” Said Tejas.
“We all knew early on that he and his wife were a bit crazy, but we had never expected something like this. Well, here is what one can call devil in sheep’s clothing.” Said, Dhruv.
Pratyush meanwhile didn’t say anything.
“Please step aside.” Said one of the police officers shoving everyone to one side and entering the house to investigate the crime scene. “My wife is innocent! She would never hurt a soul!” Rajendra began to shout.
The other policeman firmly grabbed Rajendra’s arm with only minimal force and told him to calm himself. “Sir, as per protocol I am calling in for a lady police officer as we have a female who is accused of murder.” He said to the policeman who was coming back from the living room.
“No need for that!” came the reply. “There is no murder and hence there is no accused.”
Everyone looked at surprised at the policeman who said this. Then a figure emerged from behind him.
Rajendra suddenly screamed as he felt a sudden sense of terror. “A ghost! There is a ghost!”
“Now, now let’s not act so rude. I only look so ridiculous because of the weather. Rain doesn’t suit me at all you see.” Said the unwanted visitor who was unmistakably not dead.
There was a moment of confusion until the people present began to get a sense of clarity, some faster than others.
“You should get yourself a lawyer sir, you can try criminal conspiracy or sue for defamation.” The policemen said to Rajendra before leaving. The four other people left almost immediately.
The unexpected visitor introduced himself as Saurabh Deb who was a budding actor and a good friend of Arushi. He explained to him that it was Arushi who had made created this plan to test the loyalty of these people who Rajendra had considered very good friends. Together they had put up this act which led to the true colours of all four of Rajendra’s friends being brought to light.
The rain had stopped by then and the sun was shining bright in the afternoon sky.
There were a thousand words of gratitude that Rajendra wanted to say to his wife at that time. Arushi looked at him, smiled and then with a twinkle in her eyes she said “The weather is perfect today. Would you take me out for some coffee?”
Rajendra smiled back and said “Yes.”

I haven’t seen this posted yet, but Alkemia launched their new spring collection today! Plus April alchemy and new size options. Info below from Facebook.
🌷🌞🐦 Alkemia’s Spring Incantations Perfumes - Live at 12 noon EST on April 1! 🐦🌞🌷
Happy spring from Alkemia Perfumes! We’re joyfully welcoming the first flowers after a long, late winter. To celebrate the seasonal turning toward sunlight, emergence, and floriferous beauty, we offer our latest perfume collection - Spring Incantations 2023:
Athame: An arcane ceremony of melting wax candles, santalum, aloeswood and other rare ritual incense woods, and the metallic spirit of a copper athame.
Ecstasies of Light: The lustrous glow of white amber infused with pear blossoms, white figs, gorse flowers, winter honeysuckle, and osmanthus.
Love Among the Ruins: An ancient ruin of fallen stonework covered with lichen and tangles of flowering vines slowly disintegrating and returning to nature.
Magnolia Au Vert: Fresh white magnolia blossoms and bright spring grass with lily of the valley, green mandarin and a sensual caress of musky vanilla.
Neroli Vetiveria: An abundance of Neroli orange blossoms rejoice skyward from depths of smoke-earthy vetiver roots interwoven with iris, lemongrass, and mock orange.
Taste of Rain: A primordially vernal chypre consecrated by silver rain, green ivy, holy basil, lilacs, moss, and wisteria.
NEW Special Reserve Perfume! - Goddess of the Flowers: A divine manifestation of spring - purple irises, twining honeysuckle, lush peonies, Tunisian neroli, Bulgarian roses, mock orange, night scented stock, Carolina allspice bush, red rhubarb, Spring Flame peaches, tobacco leaves, green coffee, cedar tips, golden clover hay, wildflower honey, sandalwood and Laotian benzoin.
April’s perfume gift with purchase over $50 (excluding shipping) is Sugar Egg Alchemy: An intricate confection of sugar eggs, pastel marshmallows, berry fruit jelly beans, cherry blossoms, lily-of-the-valley, jasmine, tonka, and creamy white amber.
You now have an option to purchase a limited selection of some of your favorite perfumes in 30ml/1oz bottles: Cherries of Night, Ydalir, Arabesque, As Dark Things are Meant to be Loved, Come to Me, Elixir of Aphrodite, Enigma, Honored Ghosts, Lilacs Along the Winding Drive, Luminae, Moss Maiden, and Silken Tent. Look for the 1 oz option bottle size in these listings.
🇨🇦 Finally, for our Canadian Customers, we are happy to again be able to offer the option to prepay your customs and duty fees for a flat fee of $7.95! This service is only available through USPS. To prepay your customs/duty fees, add the listing as a separate item on your order. You can find the listing by searching keywords ‘duty’ or ‘canadian’ in the search bars of either of our sites.

Knowing I've given you this heartbreak is the most painful thing I've ever experienced. It shakes me deeply in my bones, muscles and organs. It's in my voice, my throat, my ears. It habits my mornings and my nights,my thoughts and my eyes. It covers every face I encounter and it materializes in every part of the world I lay my eyes on. It follows me like a shadow along every pavement I place my steps on. It's in my clothes, inside the pockets and in my backpack. It sits next to me on the train, at my dinner table, and it lays beside me at bedtime. It takes shape on the white desk at work. I see it reflecting in the public bathroom mirror and I hear it in the voice of my colleagues. I see it in the sky and in the water. I feel it when I touch my hair or when I stand up, when I brush my teeth and when I drink water. It's in every breath I take and and in every piece of food I eat. It's inside my cup of tea. It's inside the drawers, on the shelves and in every word my eyes can read. I can feel it through the hot shower water and through the cold morning air. But it's also in the warm spring breeze and in the birds singing that I can't understand. It's under my scalp and my facial expressions. It's in my chest tearing my vessels apart.
And I realize that nothing else matters and nothing else has never mattered more than love. But I didn't know.

The Floral Floral Fruit is a paramecia class devil fruit that allows the user to create and manipulate flower petals of all kinds, turning the user into a Flower Human. These flower petals have special abilities that belay their delicate appearance, with potential to be even more. The petals themselves can come in all kinds of colors and patterns.
Strengths
The user can generate and manipulate flower petals from their body. The petals created by the user are under their complete telekinetic command. The petals can be telekinetically moved at speeds comparable to fast, powerful winds, and there is no limit to how far away the petals move from the user. Flower petals not under the user's direct control will be carried along to wherever the wind take them, with the user still aware of their exact location.
The petal's are harder than steel despite their delicate appearance, and just as durable. The flower petals can be made rigid at will, which combined with their hardness and durability allows the petals to be used as a mass of razor sharp knives. The petal's can clumped together to form thick barriers to defend against attacks. They can also be clumped together to form various powerful constructs out of flower petals such as blades, fists, and floating platforms.
By covering a person's wounds in a swirl of special flower petals, the user the user to amplify and quicken their targets' healing proces. The healing effect is so strong that it can heal broken bones and several limbs. With these petals, some grave injuries requiring months to heal can be healed completely in a matter of seconds. These petals will also boost a person's immune system, allowing them to heal from diseases and toxins they otherwise wouldn't have.
Awakening
The user is now able to summon forth a flower garden knows as Avalon. Avalon is no normal flower garden, but a whole world layered onto the current one. Within this garden, flowers of all kinds bloom in profusion above the ground. A sun in the shape of a flower will boom in the sky, overwriting the weather with a warm and gentle sunshine no matter what sort of hell the garden was summoned in. Avalon can be various sizes when invoked, from the size of a small home to encompassing an entire island.
To those the user considers neutral, allies, or pure, Avalon grants them nigh-immortality and immunity to all types of harm as long as they are within the garden. Flower petals will rise from the ground, protecting those people from all physical harm, no matter how strong. Flower petals will gush out of the people's wounds as new, fully restored flesh is painlessly reformed. To the people, the climate of Avalon will always stay at a comfortable level, protecting them from extreme heat and cold. The air will immediately purify the body, healing and removing all manner of illness and disease. The gardens beauty will clear the mind and bring it to a state of tranquility, healing manner all mental wounds and scarring. A truly perfect world where no one will ever cry or suffer.
To those the user considers enemies and sinners, Avalon is a cursed land that only serves to harm them. Decaying flower petals will rise from the ground in great flurries, transforming anything they touch, organic or inorganic, it touches into flower petals by "scraping" away what makes direct physical contact with them. The climate will always feel cold, desolate, and unforgiving even to those resistant to freezing temperatures to the cold. The air is like poison to those who breath it in, rotting their body and soul from the inside out. The garden appears to be in a horrific stage of decay, inflicting those who view it with perpetual fear and dread.
Weaknesses
Although durable, the petals are still lightweight. This means they can still be pushed around by a strong enough force. The flower petals are also very weak to the heat and cold, with fire and heat drying up and burning them, while the ice and cold will freeze and shatter them. Enemies can resist the debilitating effects of the fruit's awakening with enough Haki.
Avalon takes an immense amount of stamina to maintain, thus Avalon can only be fully unleashed for minutes at most, although smaller instances of Avalon will last longer than large instances.
The fruits healing ability is fueled by a large amount of life energy that comes from the recipient and could potentially drain enough energy to kill said recipient. As such, surgeries and conventional healing methods will be required for severely life-threatening injuries before the effects of the fruit can be applied. In such cases, it is the fruit's healing ability must be applied several times over a period of time instead of healing everything in one shot. This also means that if a person suffers serious enough injuries, the petals will be unable to save them from death. The fruit's healing ability is also unable to regrow lost body parts, preventing it from regrowing missing limbs or lost blood. Only a skilled doctor can make full use of the fruit's healing power.
Techniques
Floral Painting: using a mass of petals with various colors, the user can create images with them. It is possible for the user to animate these images by moving their petals.
Floral Lock: the user restrains opponents with a compact mass of petals in the shape of restrains like handcuffs.
Floral Cage: the user traps targets in a compact cage of flower petals.
Floral Veil: the user creates a Haki imbued compact mass of petals to create a barrier in the shape of a flower. Use of Observation Haki will near guarantee that the attack is blocked.
Floral Saw: the user creates a Haki imbued tornado of petals that shreds a target like a saw. The petals can be infused with Armament Haki to increase their cutting power and durability. Observation Haki can be used to have the Floral Saw's track down target.
Floral Burst: the user sends a large Haki imbued spiraling mass of petals at a target to drill into them.
Floral First: the user creates a compact mass of petals in the shape of a large fist. Using Observation Haki will allow the user to manipulate the Floral Fist's as a second pair of hands, even from across a city.
Floral Healing: the user covers a target's wounds in a veil of petals to heal them. The user can use Observation Haki to detect injured allies and civilians to heal them in mass even from far away.
Floral Taxi: the user creates a platform of petals to transport people.
Floral Cocoon: the user surrounds themselves and others in a thick Haki imbued cocoon of flower petals. This protects them from harm, heals them, and can be used to safely transport them.
Floral Rescue: using Observation Haki to find people in an area, the user send out petals to wrap people in Floral Cocoons.
Trivia An actual flower fruit.
Also I know I promised to post Swarm Swarm Fruit Model Slug but reddit kept on giving me an error when I tried.

I'm 23m , and my 6 month old Malamute and I share a 35 m2 (about 370 square feet) flat in Europe.
I left my apartment today to spend the day with my mom and little bro. My mother, a complete germophobe, addressed the terrible scent my clothes had as soon as I got in the car. I work from home most of the time and only leave to go grocery shopping or take my dog for walks. I smoke a lot (20+ cigarettes a day). As a result, I don't really notice the smell because I'm so accustomed to it, and the smell of tobacco greatly dulls my perception of smell. However, when I returned home today after being gone for around 5 hours, the terrible odor struck me immediately as soon as I walked in. It smelled like a homeless person had been living there for weeks without washing or cleaning up after himself. After a while, I adapted to it, but the memory of my initial reaction still makes me very uncomfortable. I therefore made the decision to really concentrate on resolving the odor issue because it not only affects those who enter my apartment but also those whom I meet outside, and also because I want to be certain that I do not smell bad. I did some research online and discovered that an air purifier with an activated carbon filter is a good addition to personal hygiene, apartment cleaning, and frequent laundry.
So now, if you could please help me with choosing the best purifier for my buck. I have a small budget and can only spend between 100 and 400 euros on a purifier for my tiny apartment. Any recommendations? I'm grateful in advance.

Hi everyone!
I would greatly appreciate help to find a bra that doesn’t hurt. I posted as a question a while back and was advised to make a more complete post - I am finally doing it!
https://imgur.com/a/MNPZCUj
Measurements in cm - Loose = 101 - Snug = 96 - Tight = 92 - Standing = 121 - Leaning = 128 - Lying = 123
Bra calculator recommends 40G, last purchase that fit full breasts was 40H and 40J.
Problem - Currently, all wired bras hurt on my ribs, above my belly. They never seem to stay above and dig into my belly or hurt on my /ribcage/sternum. - I have a round belly, and large heavy breasts. They are not firm after 2 kids. - There’s a permanent dip where my straps are. I’ve always worn my bras very tight to lift and avoid weight on my ribs/stomach. - Too much weight on my shoulders can sometimes cause me shoulder pains. Wide straps are a must. - If my breasts aren’t separated (ex in a bralette or top), I sweat and the feeling/smell bothers me.
What I currently wear - Various Cosabella curvy bralettes with 1-2 thin elastic sports tops over. The Cosabella cups are not big enough. - This setup is not good. First it’s just a lot of layers, and none of them are large enough to cover, and my breasts just spill on the top and side and I have to readjust all day. - Last fall, i tried over 50 bras of various size/model. Kept 2 of the lot, wore neither more than twice because they hurt.
What I’m looking for - A wire bra that doesn’t hurt - At this point, I don’t care about style/color. The only thing I really don’t like is bras that make my breasts pointy/cone-shaped. - I have always found racerback style painful on my shoulders, but open to try again if it can help.
Purchasing preferences - I am in Canada. - I would very much prefer an online store that offers returns. - Amazon.ca is the ideal option
Thank you very much in advance for you help!

I know when reading that title, you might see this as outrageous, but I have a genuine thought process behind this, so please, read all of what I have to say before challenging my view.
I want to get one thing out of the way first: With the recent Nashville shooting, it is rather poorly timed for someone with the username, u/TiredTransLesbian, to be writing a post about how we should avoid covering school shootings. No, this post is not about trying to avoid mass shootings being weaponized to target a specific group. I do not blame news coverage for people's incompetence to the point that they make such outrageous generalizations, that is simply an act of stupidity that could theoretically be avoided if news coverage of mass shootings stopped, but bottom line, this is just another one of the ubiquitous straws that bigots will continue to grasp till the end of time, removing one will not do much as there are way more bullshit claims for them to create out of thin air, just like this one. With that out of the way...
Ask yourself, what do you think the people committing these deplorable acts want? The answer is fame, which we give them, even if such fame is infamy, that is enough to satisfy these insane people. When we cover stories of these shootings, we are giving the attackers what they want, they want to be noticed by the public, they want people to see the damage they did, that's where they get their pleasure. Even if they're not around to see the public outrage they caused a lot of the time, they still go into these attacks knowing what will happen after they're 6 feet under or they're nothing but a pile of ash.
The fact that we're giving these attackers what they want is only half the story, where do you think school shooters get the idea to commit a school shooting!? With each coverage, that leaves more and more impressions on potential future attackers. The insane people likely to commit these acts see the pedestal of infamy they would gain if such an act was repeated.
I'm not gonna deny that this would be a slap in the face to the victims. I can't speak for everyone on this so I'd love to see what others have to say, but if I was a victim or the family member of a victim, I would much rather avoid more people having to go through the same pain than to receive widespread sympathy for my loss.
Bottom line: I think the most logical solution would just be to ban firearms all together. While that wouldn't 100% fix everything, as I believe people with such ill minds would find some other way to cause such a damage that will then be repeated, banning firearms would make a HUGE difference and save thousands of lives. The public attention on mass shootings is definitely a method used to protest against firearms, but we've been doing that for years, and it's got us nowhere. Somehow, America's fucked up government is still allowing for mass murder weapons, it it's far too obvious that we should just ban them, yet there's been hardly any progress in such a change being made. As sad as it is to say, I feel like we're at a point where it's more likely for a bunch of news outlets to get together and unanimously decide to stop covering these stories, than it is for our country (assuming reader is from America as that's where this problem is most prevalent, even if you are from somewhere else though, I would be happy to see the perspective from an outsider) to do something as obvious as ban weapons that are literally designed to quickly murder multiple people. The most logical solution is still what I think SHOULD happen, but it won't, and at the end of the day, the thing I want the most is for as many innocent lives to be saved, and the quicker a change happens, the less people will have to go through this prevalent pain.

I left an employer in late 2021 in a role where I had transitioned from office to working remote fulltime due to the permanent closure of our local office. As part of my role, I had a chair + usual IT equipment (laptops, dock, m&kb, monitors etc) which I had carried home from the office with me before the site was closed.
I left on some very difficult terms and had an argument with my manager in my last few weeks because I refused to disclose where I was going (a client for whom I had some compromising knowledge about my employer including dishonesty, cutting corners + bad internal process etc which I did later use to benefit my new employer) and on my very last day I was verbally told I was dismissed for gross misconduct because of my "attitude" and ordered to finish early so I didnt get any formal exit interview and no further contact.
I tried to arrange collection of my assets (laptops + monitors) but heard nothing back. After 3 months of radio silence / zero acknowledgement, for the sake of covering my own back I made the decision to thoroughly format my company laptop to remove the "security risk" of having employeclient data on it and kept it in storage. I have been through a house move since then and some of the equipment had to be given away / disposed of due to issues with space etc (and in case of one of the monitors the panel failed).
I have had an email from my employer (with a pdf that looks like a letter to my old address) demanding I return all company assets - laptop, chair, monitor, keyboard, mouse etc. Looks fairly generic but they are saying I violated company policy following my "dismissal" and failed to return assets and that they want it back immediately as I am violating security policy and disregarding . This would be fine but the letter makes no reference of collection and seems to expect me to pay for it myself. Also as said some of the items I had are no longer available for return as been through a house move since then.
Pre-answered questions from/for me:

• What was the company policy on returning property? I don't remember the exact wording off the top of my head but it was fairly vague and seemed to vary depending on where you went. Something to the effect of "company assets must be returned upon exit" - my contract was never updated after we went from being office based to WFH. I did recall seeing an automated email (which I have saved somewhere) that said the company weren't interested in collecting keyboards + mice. Also when I left there was no official process that I was aware of. It was all flaky to be fair.
• Why didn't I post it back myself? I didn't see it as my responsibility to spend my own money to send stuff back. Also, the company never gave us a defined asset return process. It was very shaky - I had no idea which site I'd send it to etc or if anyone would receive it. If I shipped it off and it ended up in a random corner I'd be pretty buggered.
• What steps did I take to attempt return? I waited to hear something but 2-3 weeks later I got nothing so I dropped an email into a company inbox to request a return. 1 month or so in I asked an ex colleague who said they'd ask but never heard back on that front and I didn't want to bother them as they had their own problems and as I said I was not on great terms with my leadership and wasnt comfortable speaking to them again. I left several emails to a number of company inboxes (including one that gave an automated response that said something to the effect of "Hi, your query will be managed within X SLA" and never got an answer. At the 6 month mark I left them a final email that said "I will give [EMPLOYER] one week to confirm they will arrange collection of my assets. If I do not receive a response or acknowledgement within one week I will accept that as [EMPLOYER] relinquishing these assets to me for disposal at which point I will make no further efforts to contact."

Questions from me

• Was my dismissal "legit?" I actually spoke with my manager at my new employer (client of my old) and they said not to worry about it as they knew my old employer were sht, that they had not been made aware of any bad reference and that literally the only thing they got from my employer in the first place (prior to my exit / dismissal date) was a reference saying how long I worked for the company, nothing about my good performance reviews which I had on record.
• Am I liable for these assets? As said before, I gave the company several opportunities to collect equipment and emailed them numerous times even getting an automated reply from a supposedly monitored inbox. I did state that if I didn't get a response I would be taking that as the company ceding the assets for me to dispose of. I do still have some assets but some things I had to get rid of for reasons I've gone into already. It's been nearly 18 months since I left so theyve had long enough to make a call.
• How am I best to respond? I don't have too much of an issue returning things if the company collects it though admittedly there is a part I feel I am owed for unpaid overtime, annual leave I wasn't allowed to take etc but I am not paying for it. In the case of most of these assets I dont have the original boxes anymore and others would be expensive to ship.

(England)

This is gonna be a long post but I wanna make this thread for those who have had just had a similar injury to mine and are feeling depressed, like there's no end in sight. I might delete this thread after a while, but we'll see. So I'm gonna try and make this easy and clean to read and break it up in sections.
TL:DR? It sucks now, but you will bounce back. 50% of that will be on you too because you cannot be complacent once you're allowed for partial or full weight bearing. You gotta put in the work to get better, but you will be back to normal. I promise you.
Break Day: Jan 2nd, I was biking on a trail I usually go to in my city with this awesome new Specialized Sirrus X3 I just got two months ago and was still breaking it in. I got to a small walk bridge that had a 70 degree left turn. I was going 18km/h which is my average speed. I overcalculated the turn by being too cocky and swayed my body to make the turn at my speed because I was feeling edgy that day. Thing is, the tires are not built for that on this type of bike. They're not MTB tires or wide enough to grip for those kinda turns.
So I began to lose control and fight or flight mode kicked in because there was a small river with rocks next to me on my right side that I didn't wanna fall into. Somehow in this fight or flight mode response, my feet locked on the pedals and somehow, that broke my fibula. I could feel this dull ache getting more painful by each second until I fell off on my left side. The pain felt like a nasty ache combined with pulling a muscle, a good 8.5/10 on the pain scale. I was in shock. I couldn't breathe once I fell. I never had this type of shortness of breath before. I had to get up immediately because I didn't know wtf just happened.
Getting up was that same pain, increased to a solid 10, but I got up fast and it went back to 8. Now, for my next challenge. This trail I was on? It wasn't close to any road. I couldn't get an ambulance there because there was no access for them to come there. I had to power through and walk. Either direction had a steep 90 degree incline up. I was not looking forward to that. I called my mom to come meet me by a checkpoint in the road near that trail so we can go to my car and then head to the ER. Walking absolutely hurt. I was trying so hard to fight the pain but had to stop every 5 minutes to relax. A guy on a bike then stopped and gave me this massive ProTip that I didn't think of doing in the moment because I was in shock. He said I should lower my saddle and peddle off the floor with my foot and leave my bad foot hanging in the air. That worked! Unfortunately, I couldn't do that when I got to that steep 90 degree hill climb. Thankfully this was all concrete so I had grip but it hurt like HELL climbing that. But there was no other way to do it. And keep in mind I'm a big guy too. 270lbs at 5,11. I probably made this injury worse walking on my broken ankle. But, you kinda have no choice in situations like this and you gotta make the best of it.
Anyway, we head to the ER. They x-ray me and tell me I'll possibly need surgery and that it'll take 4-6 weeks to heal the bone, but it is a fracture through and through. This is what a fibula fracture looks like. It's hard to see unless you zoom in and the doctor did say he's seen a lot worse than that, but it still sucked that I might need surgery. So he booked me to see an ortho specialist the very next day and got a temporary cast put on my leg. The one thing I noticed on the night I was sleeping after my ankle break was that I was peeing a lot. More than usual during the night. It was crazy. Maybe from the pain and shock wearing off? Anyway.
Jan 3rd: Time to see the specialist. He looked my foot and x-ray and confirmed I need surgery with a plate and screws. My world turned upside down when I heard that because the surgery was still sort of up in the air before this visit. I was hoping I could just heal in the cast because he did say he's seen a lot worse. That gave me some peace of mind. But it wasn't meant to be. Surgery it is! I got a call the same day to book me in for the 9th of Jan early in the morning. This is my first major surgery ever at the ripe young age of 33. I thought this would never happen to me, but here we are. I was so nervous because I watched a stupid movie called Awake where this guy has a major cardiac surgery and he becomes conscious while under general anesthesia and he can feel everything being done to him but can't move until it's over. That movie has legit created that fear in me since I watched it over a decade ago.
Jan 4th to 8th: I'm still processing the accident, find it hard to accept that I've ruined my life. If only I didn't go fast that day. Kept repeating that in my head, because this was on me. This ankle break was my fault and even now as I'm fully recovered I still can't forgive myself for being so careless. It's a lesson I will take to my grave with me. The lesson of taking things for granted. This stupid ankle break cost me my job that I was about to start on the 15th. It was a good gig too. Three weeks of work, one week off because it was in the film industry. It was a 9 month contract from Jan to September and would be renewed if the series got renewed. I loved it because the one week they give off would be great for me to get back on cycling, dating or doing more freelance work as a side hustle in addition to this job. But of course that job required me to be on my feet and that was impossible at the moment. Great. Fuck me, right?! It can't get any worse, right? Wrong. I also had to miss my best friends wedding the very next Sunday, a day before my surgery. I also had to cancel a date I had that was promising with someone I was talking to on Hinge. It's like blow for blow at this point. I'm just rolling with the punches.
This was a very rough week for me. The mental pain from being depressed, feeling useless and ruining my life is so much worse than the physical pain because physical pain is temporary but mental pain leaves the most amount of scars on your psyche that can last a lifetime. I was crying every night for hours on end thinking this is it. I've ruined my life. How am I gonna recover from this? The biggest worry for me was now I would have to eat through my savings until I could walk again for in-office work. And it's not like I didn't apply to work from home jobs, because I did just that for weeks on end with no luck. I was either overqualified or I didn't have the skills for it. Overqualified for a data entry job? Are you kidding me?!
So I spent this week just wallowing in my sorrow and googling for hours on end this type of injury, recovery time, surgery complications and browsing this very sub looking at success and recovery stories. This sub has really given me a peace of mind and has a really good supporting community. I love you guys. I wouldn't have been able to make it mentally without you. But I also owe everything to my mom who cared and supported me in this fucked up moment of my life. She got me through this and I wanna get a vacation birthday present when I find a job. It's the LEAST I could do.
Jan 9th: Surgery Day. I'm getting processed in the hospital and I'm nervous as all hell. I keep thinking of that stupid movie, even tell my mom I love you as I get wheeled away to the operating room in case something bad happens during mid-surgery. The other worry for me was aspiration. You know why tell you to not eat or drink anything, even water, for 12 hours prior to your surgery? Because you can get aspiration from having food and liquid in your stomach coming up and choking you. There's a very small chance of dying because of that and if you don't die, your lungs and esophagus get damaged from the doctors trying to save you from choking on your own vomit. So I had that running through my mind as I enter the operating room.
But it all went well. I woke up remembering nothing during the surgery because I was a medical coma from the anesthesia. The only thing I remember is the mask being put on and being told to think happy thoughts. It worked. And let me tell you, waking up felt so incredibly good. It's like I had the best sleep I've ever had in my entire life. It was so calming. Even breathing slow felt so damn good. I kept thinking I wanna be in this state 24/7. If this was an over the counter drug, I would be addicted to it instantly. They made me wait two more hours in the hospital to see that all my vitals are stable and then they released me and gave me a script for 50 Percocets.
Jan 10th to Mid March: Post surgery x-ray I'm part robot now! I'm part of the X-Men academy! It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself on this road to recovery and kept myself busy by working on passion projects from home and applying to remote jobs. I kept saying to myself, "it could have been worse" and that helped. The crutches I got took some time getting used to but luckily I have good upper body strength from working out at home and I returned to that. I even debated getting a knee scooter but two weeks into the crutches, I already got used to it. Plus it's not like I was going anywhere outside so I didn't need it! One thing that really helped me getting around the house was a computer chair on wheels. I used my good leg to peddle myself to the kitchen, washroom and back.
The first three days after surgery were the worst for physical pain. They gave me nerve blockers but they started wearing out around the same day of surgery, but at night time and I was reluctant to taking Percocet because it's an opioid and I was scared of being addicted to it. Plus, it also gives you constipation. In the end, I took them for 3 days because the pain won my will to resist the drugs. They were very helpful. I got good sleep and they kinda felt really awesome. It's hard to describe but it they kinda numb you. You don't feel dizzy, but sort of buzzed. It's similar to an alcohol high but different still. I took them for 3 days then switched to aspirin because my pain was going down by a lot after that. But I would say the post-surgery pain was way worse than the ankle break pain. A solid 9 or 10/10 in those first three days. I felt like my leg was on fire and even my bones were sensitive to any movement, it was so weird. But I powered through. And you will too. But just know, the pain always wins. Take the painkillers.
I was starting to get used to my predicament, but the most difficult part was the shower. Because I had to be non-weight-bearing for the next 3.5 weeks until I got my boot, the shower was a pain in the ass because I couldn't get my cast wet at all. So I bought this plastic set of bags from amazon and putting that on and off, plus getting a medical chair to sit in the shower, which was already a small space, was a massive pain in the ass. But you adapt. You get used to it. You find a routine and shortcuts in your misery and it works. I kept doing my upper body workouts and walking with my crutches so I could get some circulation going because the swelling was INSANE.
Now I'll admit that I didn't elevate my leg always like I should have so that's on me. I just can't sit in bed for hours, it drove me crazy in the first week doing that. I needed to move or be at my computer keeping my mind busy or I'd be depressed and crying again. Feeling useless is one of the worst feelings you can possibly imagine. I needed to stay busy. I thought playing videogames all day would help but that just made my depression worse. It doesn't help. Maybe if I was younger in my teens that would have been a godsend but when you're eating through your savings, your biggest worry is getting employment. So I kept gaming to a few hours at night and that helped.
Mid Feb: The cast is off and now I enter into my boot. Those classic aircast boots with the pumps on the side. I still had 3 weeks left of being non-weight bearing but the boot was a damn godsend! The cast was worse for me because it felt like a torture device. It got so hot in the cast and of course the itching. I was so desperate that I even bought a plastic scratching kit for casts that have reach. You're not supposed to do that but I couldn't help it. The cast is great because you can take it off during the day and keep it on during the night. I didn't inflate it all the time because that shit hurt like hell and made my swelling worse. So I just tightened the straps a little and only used the pumps when I had to go outside for something. I had the boot on in my sleep because doc was afraid I might toss and turn and snap my hardware. We don't want that! But I slept on my side with pillows and it worked out fine. At this point I was just counting down the days until I could walk again.
Early March: Follow up X-rays look great! My bone has healed well and I was cleared for full weight bearing and to start physio. I still had to be in my boot and walk with the support of crutches. That was a weird and interesting feeling but it felt so good to be able to walk again. I cried in joy. It felt like pins and needles at first. My mind was super reluctant to step on my feet even in the boot. It's crazy how your mind works, getting you accustomed to not using your foot and being scared to use it again when you absolutely can. But I tried it out. Slow and steady wins the race. That's what my physiotherapist said. He wasn't too happy that I didn't start physio earlier because I was talking to someone here on Reddit who had an ankle break in three places, way worse than my injury, yet started physio 4 weeks after their surgery.
But anyway, physio went great. After the first initial session, I took my boot off and started walking barefoot but with the support of the crutches. Definitely had pains in my foot I never thought I would get but that's because it was asleep for so long and your muscles atrophy. I kept walking around, doing leg stretches to get the blood flowing and got a little more religious about icing my ankle. That helped. My next PT session really helped me with a few stretches. By this point, I could walk without the crutches. It felt so freeing getting this freedom back. I listened to the physiotherapist and did those stretches at home and they really helped a ton with pain relief and getting my range of movement back in my ankle.
He told me to take it easy but I couldn't do that because I needed a job. I didn't overdo it because I didn't want to cause any more damage but I did extra workouts on top of the stretches he gave me and pushed myself. Now the pain was going all the way to my knee and back of my knee, all around really. My next physio session, he was more concerned with that than my ankle because I was making fantastic progress on my ankle. He said this knee pain was residual collateral damage from being stationary for so long. Makes sense really. So he told me to start using my stationary bike and also walking in the swimming pool, in addition to the stretches' and icing I was already doing. This helped A LOT. Because you're almost in Zero G weightlessness in the water, you can do a lot more. So I walked and swam some laps and day by day, I was recovering.
I pushed myself one day by walking outside for an hour. It hurt like hell in my knee, but I needed to get used to being back to normal-ish. After that walk, I wanted to face my fear and do stairs next. I have stairs in my building so I used that as practice and of course held on to the railings. I felt more pain going down the stairs than going up the stairs, but I did a few reps just so I could get a sense of what my leg can do and not do and see what works.
Next physio session, he recommended I get some trainers and showed me specific models from Asics to get for stability and support. Up to this point, I had some cheap Walmart running shoes, but soon as I got the proper shoes on, it was like night and day. He also said my progress was night and day.
March 31st: My last x-ray! My surgeon is extremely happy as am I. He said it looks fantastic and if the hardware bothers by my one year anniversary of the surgery, I can remove it. The recovery time will be helluva lot faster than when you get the hardware. I think I might do that and get it removed. I'm walking right now and I feel like I'm at 95% back to normal. The other 5% being that my ankle is not where it was pre-accident and I only get pain in a small corner of my knee now than what I had even two or three weeks ago. The swimming pool, stretches and stationary bike are super duper helpful for my recovery. I feel like I can even go cycling outdoors now, which I very much want to.
Crazy, right? You'd think I'd ditch the bike altogether but it's not the bike's fault. It's a tool. I used this tool carelessly. That will ALWAYS be on me. The reason I cycle is so I can lose weight and I hope I can do a century this year. That's my challenge for this year. Of course, I still get swelling in my ankle when I'm standing on my feet for a few hours but my doc said this would be normal for the next 6-8 months and even when the temperature changes, because of the type of metal in my hardware. Whatever, no big deal. I'll just ice it and be good to go again. The pain I get in my ankle now is exclusively from the hardware rubbing up against the skin. So if that continues after January 9th, 2024, I'm gonna get this hardware taken out but I am definitely keeping it and framing it as a memento of this dark period in my life and hopefully this taking things for granted lesson prevents me from breaking any other bones in the future.
Present day and final thoughts: I have one more PT session two Mondays from now and then my PT said I'll only need maybe one per month because he's very impressed with my recovery. Hell, I'm very surprised I recovered so well because reading the threads here, people go to PT twice a week but I only ever did it once per week. But my PT guy is extremely good. He goes above and beyond the one hour mark that you pay for and I remember from my first few sessions lasting almost 3 hours straight without charging for me it. He really gives a shit and I'm gonna give a shit too by offering him photography and video services, on the house, for anything he needs.
I'm still jobless at the moment, but I have three or four promising leads that I have yet to hear back from. This was another blow for me. Losing my job at the stat of all this. I remember during my recover I had a very promising job lead. They liked me and they were even OK with me being in the boot and on crutches. The job was in my city too which was a huge time and money saver. But they kept stringing me along telling me how much they like me out of the small pool of candidates of the final interview, only to ghost me in the end. That was another big blow to my mental health. I really thought I had it in the bag. Everything went well with all the interviews and even the HR lady at my final interview had an ankle break 10 years ago so I thought that for sure would get me job because we can relate to each other on that level. I suspect she wanted me there but the other lady who would be working on my team decided against it. Still sucks being ghosted though. For a corporate company, they could have at least told me it was a no. I even emailed them to follow up but they still ghosted me. Very unprofessional.
But there's no sense looking back, I'm only looking forward now. I'm applying like crazy on Indeed and Linkedin and hopefully these 4 leads go to something but I'm not gonna put in all the eggs in one basket because of my previous experience of being burned. I just hope I get something because this month will be the last month I can cover my bills. After that, my mom said she would help. I don't wanna get to that point. I hate that feeling of uselessness. I wanna pay for my own shit. I'm a grown ass man goddamnit!
But I owe her a big vacation, I couldn't get through this without her. I love her to death. Well, that's it. This is the end of the post. Thanks for bearing with me. If you read this all the way through, you're a trooper but I suspect you have nothing better to do because you're still in recovery so thanks for reading! I promise you, you WILL bounce back from wherever you are in your recovery. It is normal to be angry, to cry, to be depressed, to feel useless and lose all hope. Those feelings will come in waves and they will pass too once you accept your situation. Keep your mind busy. Do chores, work on a computer, do whatever you did before the accident to keep your mind busy and time will fly and you'll be back on your feet before you know it. Plus, this makes a really good party story to tell or one for your grandkids! Certainly makes a great dating story! Surgery scars are sexy!
And thanks to this kick ass sub for pulling me through my darkest days and giving me peace of mind and calming my worries. I have never seen a more supporting community than this one and I've been on and off on Reddit for a decade now. Seriously, you guys all fucking rock. I love you.

A nice little surprise for you all on a day of less pleasant surprises!
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Daniel sat on his bed as he looked at the neural patch Hannah’rah had given him earlier, wondering if she had used hers yet. He shrugged, stuck the patch to the nape of his neck, and laid down in his bed, staring at the underside of the bunk above him as an overlay appeared in his eyes. He waited a moment until he saw two completely sets of images in his eyes, at which point he then closed them. There was a slight moment of disorientation as he continued to see the new world despite his eyes being closed, and then his brain corrected things based on his former experience, and it no longer felt strange. As he began to move his hands around, he began to feel the slightly strange feeling as the signals were intercepted to prevent his limbs from actually moving while his eyes were closed, and he then took a moment to look at his avatar.
His real body had been recreated with high accuracy, including most of the exterior details of his prosthetic arm. He began to think about the time it must have taken for her to recreate this, and he began to wonder if the reason for her fatigue in the morning wasn’t solely because of her snoring roommate.
He began to look around, taking in the recreation of a small village in the Western part of Angland, filled by Elves. The forest surrounded it, but there were small breaks for the roads and rivers. He’d only been here a couple of times, but-
“Boo!”
Daniel turned around to see Hannah’rah smiling at him, standing in a traditional loose fitting long Elven dress. She had her fiery hair let down, and it and her dress blew in the faint breeze that he could feel simulated on his skin. For a moment, he felt like they were back in Angland, walking through the forest and petting herds of deer while watching Dragons soar above them.
“Have I ever told you that I love you?” he asked, bringing her in for a hug.
“24 times now,” she smiled as she gestured for him to walk. “Anything you want to discuss, or should I start?”
“Go ahead.”
“Do you miss being home?”
“Which home? England, or Angland?”
“Angland.”
“... Yeah, I do. There’s just something about that place that draws me in.”
“Do you want to go back?”
“I mean, kinda, but that’s just homesickness really. I of course want to go back eventually, but we’ve just managed to start seeing the rest of what’s around us. Do you?”
“... I would have liked to do a bit more before we left,” Hannah’rah admitted, sitting down on the edge of a bridge that overlooked a stream.
“Hmm, woulda liked more free time with you in public and whatnot, rather than just as your travelling partner,” he told her, sitting next to her.
“Yeah, but my Dad-”
“Please, let’s not get worked up over him now.”
“Right, sorry. It’s just that It’s going to be difficult to be together….”
“Please don’t ask that question again. Not now.”
“Sorry…. With any luck, he will come to his senses and see things the same way my Mum does, but I’m not holding out on hope right now.”
“'Ain't a lot we can do from here.”
“No, I suppose not,” she sighed.
“As always, I’m here for you.”
“I know, it was just difficult during basic. We couldn't really see each other and talk it through, and now I just feel like I need to dump it all somewhere now that I can.”
“You can if you want to.”
“I don’t. You don’t deserve to be hit with my family issues, and I’m just going to get worked up over my Dad. I brought you here to talk, and here I am dumping my problems on you.”
“It’s fi-”
“It’s not fine,” she cut him off. “Ugh, I wanted to have a moment, and I’m just going to ruin it at this rate.”
.-.-.
"Lieutenant Commander, your request has been completed," Affinity's voice came from outside the simulation.
"Perfect, thank you," Daniel replied, opening his eyes for a moment so his real mouth worked, before closing them again.
.-.-.
"Don't worry about the moment. We sparred earlier to relieve some stress, but we got cut short, so why don't we try something else?" he suggested, opening a menu with his hand and adjusting the settings. "Naval Marine 2150?"
"Won't be the same without everyone else…."
"I know," he smiled, joining a voice chat.
"Wait, what!? Hannah'rah? Daniel? You're online!?" a voice came out of nowhere.
"Hey, Xailin. Hey, everyone. We ain't exactly got a tonne of time, nor can we really do this again later, nor should we be doing this now to be honest, but we've got a Comms Gate to Earth, so we can play tonight!"
"Sweet! We can break our losing streak! Come on in!" Xailin told them, sending them an invite a moment later to join the group of their old university friends.
"But, how did you get that approved?" Hannah'rah asked Daniel, muting them for a moment.
"Affinity worked her magic. The comms gate was just sitting there on the station, active and underutilised, so I managed to push a request through for therapy?"
"Therapy?"
"What? Wiping the enemy team is therapeutic, isn't it?" he asked, getting to his feet and offering her his hand. “Level 5 and above VIs have a therapist mode, and they can pull a few strings if they conclude it’s necessary.”
“There’s the Techboy I know,” she smiled as she accepted his hand, unmuting them and hitting join.
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Daniel dove for cover as his shield hit zero, managing to get behind a pillar before he took another hit from the pulse repeater the drone nearby was unloading on him. He plucked a magnetic grenade from his belt, armed it, and blindly tossed it roughly where the shots were coming from. He heated an explosion, followed by a second one when the drone impacted the ground. He then looked out of cover, confirming the drone's destruction, and then checked to see how the golden Dragon was getting on with the tank, realising that the torn up turret was already halfway down the street, and Xailin was just tearing it into chunks to, which quickly become cover destroying projectiles.
He looked up to see the enemy team's silver Dragon diving down on him, only for a missile to silently launch from the building Hannah'rah had gone into moments before. The missile impacted the enemy Dragon, and they were taken out of the fight, their body despawning before it hit the ground. Daniel used the momentary distraction to break from cover and cross the street, making it almost all the way before a machine gun lit him up, cracking his barely restored shield and bouncing a couple of rounds off of his armour before he reached his next piece of cover. There was a loud crack as Mark’rah took out the machine gunner with his 50mm rifle, and Daniel managed to push his momentary clearing to dive into the target building.
As he began to run up the stairs, he managed to make out a frantic scrabbling as his target prepared to run, which only confirmed which floor his target was on. He stopped and turned, facing directly towards the source of the noise, and began to charge, relying on his power armour to demolish the walls as he ran. He heard someone let out a small scream as he reached his destination, and brought his armoured fist down on his target, crushing the skull of the Dwarf and quickly forcing their body to despawn. He then quickly dropped down on one knee and picked up their uplink, inserting a datajack into the port. A few moments later, the holo display returned ‘Access Granted’, and he linked the enemy’s drones to his link, assuming full control over them. Most of the enemy team began to fall back and destroy their drones once they realised what had happened, knocking out around a quarter, but it wasn’t enough, and Daniel managed to wipe out almost all of the enemy team in seconds.
Daniel heard a noise nearby, and he quickly readied his SMG, only to see another power armour user running towards him through the hole he made. He raised his weapon and dumped the mag into them, breaking their shield but not penetrating their armour. He dropped his weapon and readied a grenade, but he was knocked to the ground before he could make use of it. The two of them began to roll around, fighting to lock the other down, but he was dismayed to find that his opponent was using premium power armour, and was therefore stronger and harder to shake off.
Cursing the poor game design, he decided to take the easy victory for his team, and primed one of the grenades still in his pouch. His opponent realised what was happening, and quickly pinned his arms down, allowing Daniel to headbutt him instead, but there was little effect on either of them. He then wove a leg between the enemies, and managed to make their footing slip when he straightened it. Pushing his advantage, he rolled them over and managed to get one hand free. He finished arming his last grenade, but his opponent managed to knock it from his hand before it went off.
Out of ideas, Daniel prepared to break away and head for a window where a drone could help, but before he could, an armoured fist slipped down past his head, and the tip of the large spike fixed to the attached arm touched the helmet of his opponent, causing it to deploy a sharp metal spear that pierced clean through their armour and skull. He looked up at the owner to see Hannah’rah, happy, but also slightly displeased.
“Yeah, I should have called for help,” he told her, knowing exactly what was coming.
“Knowing and doing are two different things. You do that on the job, and you won’t be able to know that you should have afterwards.”
“Thanks for the assist, though.”“You’re welcome, just please don’t try that grenade stunt IRL,” she pleaded.
“Don’t worry, I’m not planning on it,” he assured her as she helped him to his feet.
“Well, that’s the game,” she told him, looking at the victory screen in front of her.
“Back to the lobby we go,” he replied.
The area around them quickly faded and brought them into an armoury with Xailin and Mark’rah, and the avatars of Casillia, Kilakthen, Stalika, and Ttragtum respawned.
“That was amazing!” Kilakthen exclaimed. “Hannah’rah, that Dragon kill! And Daniel, actually holding out against that BS OP power armour! How did you manage that?”
“The skill supplement system doesn’t have shit on real experience. It’s not flexible enough to deal with someone fighting competently without the system. Throw an atypical move at them, and it doesn’t know what to do,” Daniel explained.
“And since when was the Silent Striker so effective, Hannah’rah?”
“When I was trained to actually use it, or the real weapon it’s based on anyway,” she replied.
“I suppose you’ve both had your hands on the real stuff, haven’t you? You both know how to use everything effectively,” Xailin commented.
“Not so much me. I mean, I’ve had CQC training, but not heavy weapons,” Daniel replied, bringing in Hannah’rah for a hug. “My little arm breaker here on the other hand….”
“Arm breaker?” Casillia asked. “Hannah’rah, did you break his arm while sparring or something?”
“Not his, and I didn’t break any arms, just dislocated the shoulders of a few people who really didn't know when to stop,” she told her.
“Hannah’rah…” Casillia trailed off.
“What? Don’t tell me there’s never been a situation when you just want to punch an asshole in the face to make them go away.”
“Well, of course, but-”
“Well, I was ordered to fight them, so I did, and they didn’t tap out in time,” Hannah’rah shrugged.
“Anyway,” Xailin began, shaking his head. “Are you both up for another round?”
“Love to, but it’s getting late, and we’ve both got a busy day tomorrow,” Daniel apologised. “This will probably be the last time we see each other for a fair while.”
“How long?” Xailin asked.
“Sorry, we can’t disclose details of our mission,” Hannah’rah apologised.
“Ah, damn. Well, bring us all something cool back from another planet, would ya?”
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What? I already posted one extra episode.
You weren’t really expecting two, were you? You’ll get it tomorrow, as per the normal schedule.

Hello, I'm Bryan. I'm nineteen, and I live in the United States. I usually write four sentences to two paragraphs depending on the context of what is happening in the RP. I'll be able to respond regularly. I enjoy fantasy, crime, superhero, slice of life, and sci-fi rp. Looking for someone 18-20.

 Here are some ideas that i have. 

Croeft - One year ago, a meteorite landed in Hartdale park, causing a wave of yellow energy to pass through you, Alex Cain, and your four friends, giving them the ability to control matter. Now, in the present, Simul, a mysterious organization, infiltrated Chaogen, the company that acquired the meteorite and stole it. Simul hopes to obtain abilities similar to what you and Alex have gained. Six thousand miles away, a UFO crash lands in the street of London. Inside is Sozar V'nir, the last of the Krilians whose planet was destroyed by a supernova. On Earth, he searches for the Croeft, a meteorite that holds inside of it the power to control the multiverses and every living being inside of them. With his control over light and energy, Sozar will annihilate anyone in his path of acquiring the Croeft.
Cruel - In the middle of summer, a phenomal discovery was made; a fourth continent was found. It came to be known as Asoa. Many nations sent their best explorers and soldiers there to find out what lays there and claim the land for their own. As explorers from Edilaran searched Asoa, they were attacked by the Sevuotha. During the battle, the youngest prince of Edilaran, Michael Froy, was killed. The Edilaran quickly sent out a letter to James and Julia Froy claiming that what happened was mistake as they mistook him and his companions for explorers from Roaema with whom they had poor relations , but with information from a witness proving otherwise, war was declared.
In the beginning, the Edilaras had the Sevuothas outmatched with better knowlege of the terrian and superior numbers, but four years later when an mercernary group that goes by Bellmere who works with the Glarva is called by the Sevuothas the Edilaras are soon pushed deep into the forests.(Glarva is an nation of the race, Tarvea. Tarvea are pink, have horns, are around seven feet tall, their arms and legs can stretch out and are pulpy, have wings, and four eyes.) In the Bellmere, there is a soldier who is rumored to be as stornger than ten thousand men and is invulnerable. In response to this, James asks for help from the Braeain, a cruel and clever band of mercenaries led by Abraham Basset.
Dark Poral - Long ago, there were four gods, Relio god of the sun, Jia Goddesses of Earth, Seli Goddesses of the moon, and Umb god of darkness. In an attempt to seize control of the Earth and all species that inhibited Umb, he attacked Jia, leaving her paralyzed. In a fit of rage, Relio came down to Earth, where there was no light, only darkness. Upon seeing Umb, Relio initiated a confrontation that would last three months, with Relio coming out victorious. Relio chained Umb to the sun, where he would be burned eternally for his crime. Now, a decamillenium years later, the kingdom of Cantanaza has been covered with dark clouds for four weeks. After praying to the gods, Hengry Kein, king of Cantanaza, sends a small unit of twenty troops along with the officer Key Aru to the mountain of Herst. Henry sends Key there, believing that Umb may have returned, but they find there is an advanced race called the Giesola.

 Message me or leave a comment if you are interested. 

[Please don't share on socmed]
So ayun, they say that whatever you go through when you were younger, you would get over it.
Boy, was that a big fucking lie.
Backstory time *cue misty, cloudy, crappy special effects*
I was around 18 that time, and I met this person.
It was a connection made by my bestfriend, he introduced me to her.
But in a really fucked up kinda of situation.
I was single at the time, just enjoying my college days and bestfriend calls me in the middle of class.
*Incoming severely paraphrased convo*
BFF: huy pre, i need some sort of help from you.
Me: Okay?
BFF: Meron akong friend dito and she needs someone to help her get back at her ex.
-note: this person was cheated on by her ex-bf that time, and I was just a rando stranger with the exception sa connection namin ni best friend, friend niya but different uhh.. network? Yeah, that works.-
Me: Wtf do you want me to do?
BFF: Halika dito sa *school name here* and I'll introduce you, then be her pretend 'new' jowa for the meantime para mabawian niya si *ex*.
Me: But why?
BFF: Just because.
Me: Ok fine.
So ayun, I skipped class for the day and went to the place and met with them.
We were introduced, "hi, hello, hehe ikaw pala yun," ganon.
But at the time, I wanetd to be there for my bestfriend so yeah, alright, I'm in.
Nothing shitty naman nangyari muna, it was like akbay, holding hands, etc etc, tawa tawa, peck on the cheeks this was 2011 jesus christ, shit was way different back then.
Her ex got severely furious and 'jealous' i guess? Pero, tang ina wala naman nang sila diba? So why? Asshole cheated on her and I was just there as some sort of favor for my bestfriend.
My bestfriend picked me as the choice because back then, I was the 'walking definiion of the emo (that was transitioning slowl into the post-harcore scene) scene', long hair, looks clean, does a decent job on vocals during band sessions while her ex at the time was in the hiphop scene with the gangs (bloods and cripz ba yun I forgot, basta bbm and isko moreno colors)
So ayun, harmless naman so far yun, ginamiit lang akong cover for her own brokenness at the time just to get back at the ex.
It worked. Ex went on a melt down the next few days, he was running around asking the people na mutual connections nila bout me and all that good shit, but they couldn't answer him kasi nga my bestfriend was the one who did it for her.
I was fine to run around and be the pretend boyfriend for a while and then shit became way too real for my then immature self.
Oo na emo scene pa nun, so basically, I was falling in love with her, tang ina I literally sang her the song 'Oh Well, Oh Well' by - Mayday Parade when she was breaking down about her ex, I knew then na mahal niya parin but my feelings were becoming way too real.
But I did fall in love, given na yun, maybe I was so deprived of affection by that time na I just went with it and the pretend relationship became too fucking real for me.
I was cautious, but I also couldn't deny what was going on, then she started to catch on.
In a really fucked up way mga pre, it all became mutual, yung mga palandi landi na holding hands while walking nag level up na, it became something else na, it was intensifying to the point na pati ung bestfriend ko na guluhan kasi he was still thinking na we were just playing 'pretend jowa'
She fell in love with me.
But I only accepted it 8 years (at the time) later.
I was thinking nuon na fucked up role play lang to, we were making something out of nothing, (Air Supply is that you?)
Na masyado lang kaming na engross because we were always together na that time, na we would be having our own 'pretend' (ayan air quotes na din) dates just to keep the image up.
But yeah, during that time in 2011, she fell in love with me and my idiotic mind didn't want to believe it. My immature mind saw it as someone who was just messing around, trying to take advantage of my own weaknesses rin at the time, even though, to be fair, she was at a weakened state din because of the hiphop bbm-moreno ex.
Like a major asshole, I broke it off and moved to a different part of the country, effectively estranging everyone from my home town.
Ayun, parang I loved her so fiercely and truly that when she told me the same, I didn't believe it.
The most fucked up kinda of TOTGA.
Fast forward to 2015, I came back to my home province, reconnected with my bestfriend, it was a slow burn kasi nga I ran away from all of them nuon, but we managed to rekindle our friendship and I knew, in the back of my mind, lalabas tong issue ko with the TOTGA eventually.
2018, three years in, we were drinking one time and my bestfriend told me.
"hoy gagi, kinukumusta ka ni *TOTGA*'
I was like "What. Seryoso?"
BFF: "oo tols, i told her about you last week and she was curious ano na nangyari sayo"
Me: "Wag na tols, just leave it at that na, just tell her I'm fine"
etong ma pressure na friend ko naman, sinabi na kausapin ko, and me, at the time was also guilt-ridden by the way I left them so I did. (bobo moves, -300 iq galawan)
Kinumusta ko, i easily found her on social media, and we were like
'hey kamusta, sorry it took a while for me to get back to you etc etc'
she was like: 'uy gago, may unfinished business tayo'
Ako naman si tanga, kala ko for closure's purposes na, but back then, I still loved her even though hindi ako secure sa 'feelings' niya for me back in 2011.
We met, we spoke and I fell all over again.
Maybe the guilt of leaving her behind got to me and i literally left her when she admitted that she loved me as well, maybe because she was one of the few people I loved truly.
We reconnected, etc etc, dates, eating out, laughing together, inaasar ako about sa Mayday Parade because she got into the band because of me daw.
Then things got even more serious, from the 'harmless' HHWW, kissing and yakapan naging mas physical na, baka kasi yun nga, all those years came back for us and we were just making the best of what we have.
A few months into it, she asked me,
TOTGA: "Nung 2011, *name of OP*, did you really love me?"
ME: "Yeah, and the fucked up part is, I never stopped even though I wasn't certain of how you felt"
TOTGA: "Well, I loved you then."
Si muntangang OP naman, nakilig dun and we were back to our usual 'pretend jowa' era, magkasama parati pero (that time for me) seryoso na. Like 'official, with label na'
Weeks after that, we even went on a private getaway just because ha, I learned na may jowa and engaged na pala si TOTGA. It was sprung on me so randomly, and during a time na sobrang 'saya' namin. I didn't know, swear.
FUCK! I felt so stupid, used and guilty at the same time. I felt bad for the jowa, I felt bad for everyone who got involved, even my bestfriend was also ignorant at the time na may fiance na siya. Because TOTGA also went dark from everyone, walang naki update.
I felt dirty, I felt awful, I felt everything, she would have never have told me about her fiance at the time.
tang ina.
There I was hoping to get back the one that got away but the TOTGA became TOTGAA, but seriously, yung situation na yun was so fucked up that I just dissociated.
I have no fucking idea bakit niya pa ko inentertain ulit when she was engaged na.
I left without another word, di ko na kinausap, I secluded myself ulit questioning myself all the time.
"Is she trying to get some form of fucked up vengeance on me because I left her nuon"
"Did she even truly love me"
"Ano ba dapat ginawa ko nun"
It was fucked up, I broke apart so many times at the most random of moments, after leaving her again.
After all of that, I still can't even imagine myself being in a relationship anymore, it was just damaging to a point. I've had jowas rin after naman, pero I became too reserved, distant and that was days nag decide ako na hindi ako worth it for them because of what I still think about.
I still think about her.
I still love her to some extent.
Pero I just couldn't fathom it.
Hell, I literally blamed myself na nag cheat siya sa fiance niya that time.
I loved her that much and her ghost still haunts me to this day.
I hoped na I would be better na, but it still stings kasi I still blame myself for leaving nuong 2011. the great catastrophe of my 2019 just made it all worse.
I spoke to her fiance and told him everything that happened between us, then I stopped knowing and learning about them na. I owed him that at least.
​
[sorry mejo makalat, inebriated]

Interestingly, the Bible clearly says God’s New Earth (Jerusalem) will be ruled by children. Greta Thunberg represents this new generation, striving to promote and sustain life on our planet. Here, I share my notes on her most recent (February 2023) work The Climate Book, with the hope in my heart that her voice will be carried far. *[My own Christian perspective is weaved into her scientific outlook.]
To begin, Carbon Dioxide (C02) is a basic building block of life, some of which has been stored underground from plants from long ago. Over 2 million years ago, too much C02 caused a mass extinction. Afterwards, trees were virtually gone. It took millions of years for Earth's biosphere and life to recover.
People have been farming for over 10,000 years, depleting the nutrients of the land. Between 1945 and 2000, the number of people tripled. Since the 1990s, we have dumped more climate changing toxins into our environment than throughout all of human history. We consume more, due to this “great acceleration.” In the 20th century, people accelerated their use of fossils fuels.
The science is solid. The great acceleration occurred with the industrial revolution. We have filled our oceans with plastics, and are destabilizing our own ecosystem. This is like sawing off the branch we are sitting on!
Nature cycles carbon, but global warming can be exacerbated by the release of carbon from the soil due to warming. We have knocked the natural balance off, due to our use of stored fuels and our own carbon emissions. Since the industrial revolution, our economy is reliant upon fossil fuels and non-sustainable practices.
We must rebalance our planet by controlling our own behaviors and emissions. If we continue with current practices, we will warm our planet by 4 degrees by the end of this century.
What will this be like? Extreme heat waves will occur yearly, along with drought and famine. Sea ice will disappear, revealing more of the ocean.
Climate change directly causes the death of coral reefs, and if they collapse they will also take with them millions of ocean species. We may be causing the 6th extinction. Coral reefs become bleached due to warmer waters as their colorful algae is expelled, threatening over 30% of ocean species. Right now, three billion people rely upon our oceans for food. We need to farm our oceans sustainably (such as for seaweed). Fishermen are currently exploiting 90% of available fisheries. One billion people depend on fish for omega-3 fatty acids and more.
Why don’t more people care? Many do not perceive a threat because it is slow and complicated. We have exploited and distanced ourselves from Nature. Even our religions have promoted the false notion that this world is to be devalued, and we are separated from our Creator. Many feel a void, with no God within. Many try to fill this emptiness with ceaseless products. Our entire worldview and our daily habits must change.
Today 20% of California’s power use goes toward providing water. We can take better measures, like drawing from ocean water.
Factory and human waste is polluting our waters. Riots have broken out, such as in India, over access to water. Who is taking this seriously? The public? The government? It seems almost no one.
Our government could pass new laws, but they do not. People are also self-interested, and rarely act for the social good if it takes from them in any way. This age is characterized by selfishness and greed, as even the Bible warns in Revelation. Tragically and shockingly, the fossil fuel industry is receiving 11 million in subsidies each minute.
The Industrial revolution, rise of science and decrease in religious morality have all compelled these trends forward. We need a new ethic prioritizing life. Religious leaders must support life, not the Death Culture which exalts the self (no matter the consequences).
We are literally obsessed with culture wars that distract us from our common interests in protecting our planet and making future generations possible.
What stands in the way of a sustainable future for human life? Should consumers even have a choice to purchase destructive products, like plastic containers for single-uses? Should meat even be available? If we really took this seriously, what measures would we take, and what laws would our government pass?
One problem is how some lives are valued more than others, and a select few are exploiting and making life impossible for many. Those in power do not tend to question their privilege!
GLORIFICATION OF THE SELF We have convinced ourselves that we deserve our carbon-rich lifestyles. If we remain hedonistic and not prudent, the poorest and most vulnerable to climate change will suffer the most.
And, Christ will judge us based on how the least among us is treated. Do we contemplate this with each plastic bottle we toss out, or plane trip we take? Isn’t living sustainably Christian behavior, reflecting the wisdom of the Holy Spirit and our living God?
Our future grandchildren will pay and suffer for our convenience now. But, we glorify the self. We glorify the pleasure of the individual and freedom to drive our species over a cliff. Many arguments from the ‘other side’ boil down to a call for the freedom to die.
CORRUPT LEADERSHIP Our leaders are taking us over a cliff. George W. Bush pulled out of the Kyoto protocol, given it was not ratified prior to his taking power. He chose to serve corporate interests (even over human life). Bush declared that the American way of life is not negotiable (1992). Since he spoke these words over 30 years ago, our emissions have increased by 60%, creating an existential crisis.
Given such attitudes and priorities, we have a limited carbon budget to spend in the next few years if we wish to avoid the most dire consequences of global warming. We need to raise the cost of carbon, forcing consumers to pay more for products that are heavy in carbon pollution. We also need to change our diets. We must get our priorities straight.
In 2009, corrupt lobbying destroyed an act that would have helped. But the fossil fuel industry, driven by greed, spends billions on disinformation and distraction. They poison public debate with dirty money. Leaders set non-binding targets, then fail to reach the goals. Their true priorities are economic growth and profit. It seems to the public that actions are being taken, but they are not taking serious measures at all.
The richest ten percent contribute 50% of our total C02 emissions. We need to restructure our economy to be sustainable. The idea of infinite growth is not possible on our finite planet.
We are all in the same crisis, but not the same boat. The only hope is in speaking truth to power and adjusting our behaviors accordingly.
CURRENT SITUATION There is about 1 carbon molecule for every 2,000 other molecules in our atmosphere, so carbon is difficult to locate for removal. To stop putting carbon into our air is much cheaper and better than paying for carbon removal later, which would cost trillions upon trillions. Why should we allow companies to continue business as usual, passing cost and problems to future generations?
Climate change is responsible for over 2 trillion in economic costs. Economic damage from climate change will cost over 3x the amount the pandemic cost. For example, insurance rates will rise and the real estate market will suffer due to not being able to sell in coastal and impacted areas.
Worldwide, waste is increasing at an alarming rate and 20% of methane emissions are due to our waste. We need to engage in more intelligent practices. For example, we can compost (which reduces waste in landfills that leads to methane emissions). Composting will also nourish our gardens.
Methane removal, through oxidation, is needed. Half of our methane is produced from human behaviors like cattle agriculture.
C02 is forever, while methane is temporary. Methane is 20-30x more potent in warming our atmosphere than C02, but it dissipates over 40 years while C02 will remain thousands upon thousands of years. C02 is also cumulative.
Given this, we must stop our emissions of greenhouse gases immediately. If we reach zero emissions, it will drastically reduce global warming. Carbon dioxide is at its highest in 2 billion years, due to our behaviors. We are experimenting with our own lives and planet!
Toxins accumulate in sea creatures, damaging the whole ecosystem. C02 enters the blood of fish, affecting acidification. Acidity has already risen 30%, producing hazards for marine life, like for coral reefs and in decreasing calcification in the shells of sea life. Shopping bags can strangle sea animals and their stomachs are found full of microplastics.
The Amazon forest works as a giant air conditioner, cooling our planet. It absorbs C02. But temperatures in the Amazon are increasing and it is getting more dry due to the expansion of farming and deforestation.
Aerosols like smoke and other tiny particles in our air affect our global temperature. Some cool our atmosphere by reflecting the sun, even dropping temperatures by 0.5 percent. Without aerosols, our atmosphere would be hotter. But air pollution is also hazardous, coming from our cars and factories, for example.
Clouds reflect sunlight back into space, but can also insulate heat like a blanket. Reduced clouds over our oceans force the ocean to absorb the sunlight, thus contributing to global warming.
Melting ice caps no longer reflect the sun, leading even to more warming. Our glaciers are melting. The Himalayas provide drinking water to billions, yet will melt by 1/3. We have enough ice to raise our ocean levels the equivalent of a 20 story building. We have already lost the equivalent of Mt. Everest in ice sheets. This melting will lead to coastal devastation for those living near our oceans. Our oceans will rise by a meter by 2100.
Oceans absorb about 90% of the excess heat produced by global warming. While oceans absorb about ¼ of C02, warming produces less absorption. We must enhance our oceans ability to absorb C02. Even a 1.5 degree increase in temperature is a great risk to our future survival. Our weather has extremes, like the freezing waters and the heatwave that killed many in 2021.
Human made climate change has devastating consequences. For example, Hurricane Harvey cost billions and the severity was 15% greater due to human made climate change. Sadly, 20 million people were displaced by flooding in 2020.
Distressingly, we have all witnessed that even minor disruptions in our supply chain are devastating. Thus, climate change must be averted at all costs.
Our temperature has already warmed by 1%, which all reputable science agrees upon. This is already causing damage right now. Heat waves and air pollution lead to heart related and respiratory deaths, not just heat strokes. Millions die per year due to air pollution. The warming climate also triggers diseases like Maleria and will kill millions. These diseases are being seen in areas not seen before.
The increase of C02 in our atmosphere is even making our crops less nutritious. Specifically, soils lack zinc and protein. Zinc deficiency then leads to a reduced immune system. Millions more will have an iron and folate deficiency due to current C02 levels. Iron deficiency leads to premature births.
GOING FORWARD So then, what is our best path forward for survival? We have to stick to a carbon budget per year to reach our goal of only increasing the temperature by 1.5 degrees Celsius. The carbon budget, to stay within the agreements of the Paris accord, will be used up in a few years. But noone seems to be sounding any alarms. Is this because our media is controlled by the elite?
Politicians still respond to mammon ($) with no concern, really, for life. Congressman Manchin singlehandedly rewrote climate legislation in 2021, even with all aware that he has millions invested in fossil fuels, like the influential Koch brothers.
Exxon Mobil has been well aware of the consequences of their actions for decades, yet put forth false discussions into the public sphere. They purposefully stalled for time, which we do not have.
The King of Saudi Arabia has unbelievable wealth and power, but when we move to solar and wind energy power will not be so concentrated. This may lead to a more hopeful and democratic future that serves the actual interests of the people. We need to turn to our Sun. We need to now rely upon energy from heaven, not from hell. It is not that we do not have the money to change. It is that those benefiting from our current Death Economy do not have the will to change.
Many will promote carbon capture technologies, but the reality is hidden. There are only about 20 carbon capture facilities operating right now, some shown to produce more carbon than they capture. We can use fossil fuels only until around 2050, unless technology like carbon capture is seriously invested in (and not just used as a talking point). Many CEOs deflect attention from change right now, promising (like snake oil salesmen) to develop sustainable technology in the future. (Interestingly, blue hydrogen can be made from carbon capture.)
Solving our crisis calls for us putting less demand upon our energy system, such as in consuming less. We need to return to more of a natural, Earth based way of life. Do we all really need to extend our days, with artificial light, past the natural hours of sunlight? Must we eat meat? Wherever there is a roof, there is a potential for a solar panel. Wind parks can also be built in offshore locations, where they are less disruptive.
Green hydrogen is a fuel that leaves only water behind and is usually produced by methane. But it costs more to produce than it makes. Thus, green hydrogen requires an abundance of cheap energy.
Hydropower facilities use water flow to produce energy, while nuclear power splits elements for energy, and produces around 10% of the world’s energy. But, a nuclear power factory that just opened in 2022 took 16 years to open. And, nuclear power can have disastrous consequences and can be the target of terrorism.
Biomass energy creates energy by burning wood or other biological matter. But, it can take hundreds of years for forests to regrow. Thus, we need to slow down this process and aim to stop burning things on Earth for energy.
Geothermal heat takes energy from the Earth's heat, producing around 17% of greenhouse gases. But it is limited in that there are limited planetary hot spots. In air capture measures, carbon is pumped underground, like in BECS. BECS pumps carbon underground and provides electricity from the burning of plant matter, which is cost effective compared to other measures. Enhanced weathering is also a promising technique, such as exposing crushed rocks and minerals to the carbon in the air to facilitate natural processes.
Finally, some promote geoengineering, which is the manipulation of our atmosphere, such as reducing the warming effects of our sun. Some support spraying sun-blocking aerosols or coating ice to protect it. This is actually risky to our ecosystems. Solar engineering is too dangerous, given once the process is started it must continue indefinitely (and political regimes can change). If suddenly stopped, warming will occur to an even greater degree than if no measures were ever taken.
REAL SOLUTIONS Elites consume and produce more than most. Our problems are that of inequality as much as pollution. If the top 10% (financially) only produced the carbon footprint of the bottom 90% of global emitters, 1/3 of carbon would be reduced. Thus, carbon budgets will affect the filthy rich the most. The most wealthy are contributing a shockingly disproportionate amount of pollution. The average person produces 6.5 tons of emissions per year, with the wealthy producing 75 tons.
Rich countries know they are liable for their pollution. They, of course, do not want to focus discussions on responsibility. The global economy could shrink by 18% due to the climate crisis.
We need to reduce emissions, restoring soils and forests. We need to protect our soil from tilling, pesticides and depleted nutrients. We have found that enriching soil with nitrogen has polluted our water. We need new practices. How can we sustainably grow food? How can we facilitate new ideas?
PLANT-BASED DIET We know that as affluence increases, so does meat consumption. But more efficient use of water and land, such as in transitioning to plant-based diets and farms, is our only viable path forward. This would support health of our land, souls and bodies!
Plant-based foods have the lowest impact, while meats can impact our environment over 20x more. Every 50 calories that go into meat (feed) produces 1 calorie as human food. 4x the size of Brazil in land is used for grazing cattle, the greatest use of land (even above forests). And, 20% of gas emissions are due to how we use land, mainly for agriculture. Our current food production also causes 30% of greenhouse gases. We need to shift to a plant-based diet. We can feed our communities using 76% less land. One burger, which gives 10 grams of protein, uses resources like land and water that would provide many more nutritious calories if the same land was instead devoted to vegetable and fruit gardens.
Turning away from meat would not only help us feed more people, it would also help reduce diseases in our bodies and help reduce carbon pollution. Specifically, 350 million tons per year in emissions would be reduced if we shunned meat. Becoming vegetarian is the single most impactful action you can take to help.
We are eating more calories, when we need to consume less. Specifically, we need to reduce pork and beef calories by 80% in wealthy countries. Currently, 1/3 of all food produced is not consumed. We must make smarter use of our land and reduce our food consumption and waste. Humans have directly reduced biodiversity in shaping the land for our purposes, such as in agricultural practices. We farm around 30% of land now. It would take far less land to farm if we stopped using land for food for cows and other “products” for the meat industry.
Given all of this, how can it be that $500 billion in government subsidies go into agriculture that is not sustainable? We need a political and spiritual revolution. We need significant behavioral and technological changes immediately. For example, if we lowered the speed limit, we would save over 5 tons of carbon emissions annually (just in Germany). We also need cities that are efficiently constructed, and need to reduce unnecessary travel. We can use online meetings rather than physically traveling to meetings.
We can also encourage college students to prepare solutions for our problems, instead of preparing for the job market! This kind of free thought would be supported by a Universal Basic Income.
Even in 2021, 95% of transport relies upon oil (including cars, planes and ships). We need to curb the sale of SUVs, which produce great emissions. Why are they so popular? We need to encourage lighter vehicles, banning SUV advertising. We need to wake up!
Renewable energy is now the cheapest form of energy. Renewable energy makes more sense, yet those who have vested interests in fossil fuels do not want change and actively work against change. Still today, 1.446 billion vehicles run on petrol. EVs are a good step, but we really need electric public transit.
We need to outlaw all petrol engine vehicles starting 2025, and more. By 2035, there will be 2 billion private vehicles. We need free public transportation, like trains, trams, busses and ferries.
We also really need to buy less. We can reuse and repair our items and vehicles, rather than buying new things. Americans spend $5,400 per year on impulse purchases, and studies show that more ‘stuff’ does not equate with greater levels of happiness. We can share and borrow items, as a true community. This is also Christian behavior.
We can wear second-hand clothing. The clothing industry fills landfills! Electric bikes are also good alternatives to our current ways. We can buy only energy efficient appliances and can avoid over packaged foods, meat and dairy.
We need to transform our food system and plant green gardens everywhere possible. We need home garden and trees and biodiversity in cemeteries, parks and public areas as well as home backyards.
Biodiversity protects us by removing C02 from the air and purifying our waters. It helps mitigate disease and even protects our health. We need to support biodiverse land because it absorbs more C02. This is a real action we can take.
We also need to let forests grow and stop cutting young trees for wood. Before the Industrial revolution, people burned mostly wood for energy. Industrialization did relieve the deforestation occurring at the beginning of the 19th century by turning to fossil fuel energy instead of wood burning. After the development of coal burning machines, pollution killed more people than we realize. We do have to stop burning fossil fuel.
Today the ability of a forest to store carbon depends on many factors. First, we need to replace trees at the rate carbon would have been captured if wood was not harvested. If a tree is not cut, how much carbon would it capture over its lifetime?
We need to reduce wood harvesting. Specifically, we can harvest from constructed tree farms, but also allow other trees to grow old, to support biodiversity. We need no till farming, a plant based diet, biodiverse forests and more. We need drastic carbon emission cuts now.
We have already reduced the populations of birds, reptiles and insects by 2/3 since the 1970s. Sadly, 60% of all songbirds have disappeared in the last decades.
We are killing our ecosystem. Pollinators (like bees) are dying, thus leading to our deaths due to not being able to eat vegetables (which increases heart disease due to poor diet and high meat consumption).
But, are people even able to respond to new information? Are we able to act on new data? We will see.
Buying less means we do not have to earn as much. Our world will be better and we will feel better. We need to take the status away from consuming products. There are websites devoted to revealing the true carbon footprint of popular products, like: www.ethicalconsumer.com
Profits motivate corporations to distract the public from the truth. We are not told how unhealthy certain common things are, even in the long term. It is not in their interest (they mistakenly think) to be honest and change to a more sustainable economy. Of course, God sees all.
Politicians are short sighted and are not addressing the crisis at all. We need “honesty, integrity and courage” (Greta Thunberg). But, many are still driven by mammon (money) to the point of our death. Many politicians are corrupt, with our blood on their hands. They have the blood of all future children who will never breathe in God's air of life, given lobbying, on their hands. How is lobbying legal? Our government does not work for the people, but for power and mammon. The rich are served and our Death Culture continues, while we continue to consume dead flesh.
Our politicians must lead us in a new direction, no matter if it is aligned with popular public opinion. Politicians need to communicate our true situation and our media needs to direct us to a more healthy future.
“The time for little steps in the right direction is over. We are in a crisis” – Greta.
Promises to become climate neutral by 2050 puts everyone back to sleep. If they really cared, drastic changes would be made right now instead of distracting our focus, according to Greta Thunberg.
“It matters what we say, but it matters even more what we do” - Greta.
We cannot act only nationally, given we are on one planet and are all affected. For example, the pandemic could not be kept to one nation. We must address our crisis as a world, not as isolated nations.
Geopolitical tensions stand in the way of true international negotiations. Nations are driven by a will to power. We need a new base ethic of valuing life and caring about each other (across nations and groups).
We need to work together to address the planetary crisis. Instead, each nation is actually preparing for conflict, based on the finances devoted to building military forces. Our money shows our true priorities.
Greta Thunberg says we need to just simply “tell it like it is.” We need to stand on our moral ground and be open to innovative ideas and solutions. She suggests many ideas for change.
First, we must start treating this climate crisis like a crisis. We must get our priorities straight. We must also admit our economic systems have failed. We need to face reality to be able to create a better world.
The best way to absorb more carbon is to leave forests alone. “A living tree must be valued more than a dead one,” explains Greta Thunberg. Scientists recommend we protect at least 30% of nature. Currently, only 3% of the Earth’s surface is unharmed.
We must spread the facts; 5.9 trillion dollars are spent annually in subsidies for fossil fuels, which is insanity. Do not fly; avoid air travel. The tourist economy is responsible for 8% of our yearly emissions. Instead of subsidies for air travel, we need to pay subsidies to encourage train travel. We can invest in wind and solar power, and scientific advances like farm-free food grown in a laboratory.
Science can shed light on how to nourish our soil and stop depleting it. Thus, we can go forward with science and morality as our guiding forces. The ‘is’ and the ‘ought’ will be complementary.
We need to educate ourselves and become climate activists. We can institute justice through protests and civil disobedience. We need to fight for democracy in non-violent ways. We need new laws to protect us.
Be disruptive. Look for common ground, using love and not hate to shed light into the darkness. Avoid culture wars that only distract us from survival with endless debates. Very simply, we must also buy less and use less. We can also stop purchasing single-use plastics, like bottles for water.
Plastics that are disposable have been available for 20 years, and thus have accumulated in our oceans. Companies that used to offer glass bottles and also clean them have now moved to disposable products and thus have passed on costs to us.
Coca-cola actively acts against legislation that would have them offer reusable bottles again, as they did before single-use plastics. Companies blame consumers for bad habits yet shoot down laws against single-use plastics. The UK is the second highest trash producer, after the US. Most plastic is counted as recycled but is not. It litters deserts and waters, affecting our climate. Transit companies disguise the true origin of waste as it is relentlessly burned in the cover of darkness.
Countries like the UK, US, Japan and Germany export waste to places like Southeast Asia, where it is often burned at night. People now suffer respiratory illness due to these common practices. Plastic produces greenhouse gases, as it is derived from oil.
And, even today, we do not have accurate data on carbon emissions. The Washington Post found that our current path to climate solutions is not even credible nor viable, given the reported numbers are so distorted. Countries report only a fraction of their true emissions, like Sweden, who reported 50 million tons of greenhouse gases when in fact they emit closer to 150 million tons per year. So, even now, only 1/3 of emissions were even included in reports in Sweden. This is seen internationally as well. We need a proper road map, based on data and our moral ground, that we actually follow!
But “Who do you vote for when the politics needed are nowhere to be found?” poignantly asks Greta Thunberg. Even in progressive countries like Sweden, only 10% of ‘recycled’ products are actually recycled. Much is burned, causing further pollution.
So, recycling is a huge greenwashed myth. Most plastic will never be recycled. It is all made so cheaply that it is made to be disposed of. So, plastic litters landfills and our waters, especially in poorer areas. Micro plastics are now everywhere, even inside us. 8 million tons per year of plastic waste is dumped into our oceans.
We can reduce packaging, to start. We need a major system change. Greenpeace is calling for a 50% reduction in plastics in coming years, given our situation.
Specifically, we already also have 40 years of carbon built up in our atmosphere and our C02 emissions are on track to rise 16% in the coming years.
We are set to increase our global temperature, yet the media is not covering this crisis. We cannot negotiate, for we value life itself while those in power prioritize profit; “They speak to flowers in the language of US dollars” says Greta Thunberg.
We need regular press briefings on our climate crisis and many discussions on how to solve our problems. For example, we can institute a #UBI as part of the transition in our economy and as jobs related to fossil fuels diminish.
Communist China is using over 70% of our carbon budget, and still will in 2030. This, while developing countries are affected the greatest by climate issues. How can developing countries move forward in a sustainable way? Capitalism also contributes to our crisis by encouraging increasing GDPs, despite the true costs to our planet. This economic system demands growth. Yet, high income nations do not need more growth. We need a new economic system based on our ecosystem. No current systems lead to life.
We need to educate ourselves. We need both individual and systemic, market change immediately. We must restructure our economy around renewable energy, less meat consumption and less SUVs, for example, to ensure our future. In fact, 80% of energy used in 2019 was still derived from fossil fuels.
Frequent flying and eating meat are some of the most destructive activities an individual can do in terms of the climate crisis. Some have made an oath to never fly and to become vegetarian, given our situation.
We need to phase out private jets, mega yachts and other egregious displays of wealth and status. We can make these displays shameful and not glorify them. We can take public transport and move away from fossil fuel based engines. For example, in Vienna, 60% of people live in community housing.
Should we shame those who live an unsustainable lifestyle? Should we offer softer signals that change is needed, like having our family over for a vegetarian dinner?
We can encourage others to live with less of an environmental impact. As one neighbor gets solar panels, so do others. We can share plant-based recipes. We can participate in social actions and protests.
Government also (on the macro level beyond the individual) needs to lead and set examples for a new way of living, following through with laws. We need to meet the basic survival needs of all humans on our planet with current resources.
The richest 20% need to reduce their consumption to 1/10th of 2015 levels, making room for others basic needs. Christ stood up for the needy and the powerless. But are we too unloving and selfish to survive as a species? What will happen to our souls, as we turn our backs to the most vulnerable?
Psychology has been used to advertise toward people’s deepest desires to inspire their purchases. Ads create (or play upon) a deep need, promising to fill the inner void. Products promise to make us feel better and to lead to our acceptance by our social groups. But, without God, people remain empty inside while landfills overflow.
For example, 73% of textiles (clothing) produced ends up in landfills. Can we start identifying with God, and not by our outer appearance and the latest fashion?
We need to phase out excess for a few, while expanding access to basic resources to all, like healthcare and housing. This is in line with instituting a Universal Basic Income (#UBI) for all, to help people of all identities survive the upcoming transitions on earth.
Our excesses are a clue into inner poverty. Many do not have solid community ties, even if they have material wealth. We are actually happier when we are connected to others, giving and sharing. Our efforts to help others and transition from our selfish society will lead to deep joy, not poverty. We will be blessed as we use our voices and hands to carry forth God’s will.
As a start, we can choose (given our morals) to buy only 3 new pieces of clothing per year, take less trips, rid ourselves of personal vehicles and eat a plant-based diet. What else can we do?
We need the Holy Spirit to guide our souls and hands as we create a new day! We can change if we hold hope, as the eloquent theologian Jurgen Moltmann has shared. We can shift from unhealthy social norms, and these healthy changes will allow all of us to thrive.
We need relationships based on love and reciprocity instead of greed and a will to power. We need less selfishness and more sacrifice for others whom we share with because we actually care. We need to restructure our world based on love, as Christ taught.
When we take action for a sustainable society, we will find new meaning in our daily actions. Our community bonds can grow stronger as we change. And, as sociologist Emile Durkheim found, strong community bonds lead to less suicides. We have the opportunity to promote life and even joy in coming together to change our world for the better!
We do not wish to conserve the world, but create a new one. We need more community control over resources and a guaranteed income for all, regardless of group affiliation. We need energy efficient public housing and to restructure the economy to a more just system. We need to align our economy with our ecosystem as well as our morality. As the brilliant Martin Buber wrote, we need to develop I-thou relationships, based on a recognition of others and not an exploitation of them. Equity and sustainably go hand in hand; there can be no sustainably without equity. Instead of asking who owns land, we need to ask who is responsible for the land. We need a politics of love.
CONCLUSIONS: CARETAKING IS A GREEN JOB! We need to transition to a care-taking society, where all are cared for and treated with love. We need to dismantle the call to endless growth and greed.
“We need to redefine hope and progress, so that these words do not translate to destruction” – Greta.
We need to prioritize people over profits. Green jobs, like caretaking, can be recognized as we turn away from jobs based on over-consumption of unneeded products. Carework is climate work! We need to not only repair our relationship with our planet, but also with each other. We can become a global family.
Solutions involve community actions in helping each other, just as Christ called for. Also, our youth must be a global force of change. We must learn from our mistakes and challenge the status quo and those with interests in the current Death Culture.
Truth, justice and morality are on the side of creating a sustainable future, explains Greta Thunberg. In our Postmodern age, where some claim all views are valid, what is Truth? Both sides of an issue are not equally valid. Survival is not a story with two sides.
We need to end our Death Culture by following the path of love (set by Christ) and carrying out God’s will, for God is Truth. When we recognize this, we will move from the Postmodern Era to the Pre-Utopian Era, as we prepare the ground for God’s New Earth.
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I have to fully choke and give it some throttle to get it started. Once started i can idle it by keeping the choke on and holding the throttle a bit. If i give it less throttle it dies, if i give it a little more it will rev up, if i give it full it dies. While "idling", if i push the choke back to normal and let go of the throttle, the revs will rise to 4-6k and then drop to 1k for a second or two before dying.
I just cleaned the carb and all the jets look great, you can see completely through the holes. Just replaced the petcock, which was for sure faulty, and it didnt seem to make much of a difference. The rubber boots are seated fully and tighened down well. The vacuum lines on the carb looked good and were all seated and tight. One had very small cracks but i took it off, covered one end, and blew into the other and couldnt blow or suck so it must be good(?). Timing wasnt good before but now it is (explained next)
Background: I bought the bike for cheap and it was cheap for a reason. When i first got it it wouldnt start at all. It would spin and (with aftermarket headers installed) would spit yellow flames. I looked around and turns out the exhaust cam was off a couple teeth. After fixing timing, it would spit blue flames and after reading something about backpressure i put the stock pipes and mufflers on. After this and some fiddling with choke and throttle i got it to run similarly to whats described above. I cleaned the carb and didnt notice too much of a difference. I put the air filter in for the first time and it didnt do much, if anything.
At this point im getting pretty discouraged. A month in and ive yet to even ride it. Strongly considering cutting my losses. If anyone has any diagnostics i could do or reccomendations or anything at all i could do i would appreciate it. Ive got all of spring break to mess around with this thing so...

Taking a few steps in she was now surrounded by various shades of blues, grays, and whites. The swirls and mixing of colors were pleasing to the eye, but she couldn’t stand around to admire them for long. She rushed down the tunnel passing scattered bodies all along the way until she found Four. He was standing idly by in a room which seemed odd for a man of his nature. “You good?” Thirteen queried as she stepped towards him. Four looked up at her as she entered, almost like he was dazed. “Yes,” he answered then paused before exiting the room. Thirteen stared as he walked past then back at the room. It was lined with what looked like rudimentary computers, so old she hadn’t seen one similar since her childhood in her father's laboratory. She took another step towards them to get a better look, only to make a loud thud as the sheer weight of her armor dented the metal floor below. “Hey, no,” Four said entering the room again. “I told Twenty I’d make sure you stay on task, so I’ve called in some techs from base who will look over all this stuff later”. Called in some techs from base? On a secure channel perhaps? Otherwise, she would’ve heard him call it in through their linked comms. All the details they wanted now made sense. “Is it really that big of a deal for me to analyze in the field?” she pleaded. “Obviously it is, that's not what Twenty ordered you to do” Four responded with a head roll and tossed up shoulders. “Actually, I was told to assist you in the tunnels,” Thirteen said with a smug face although she knew her attempt would be in vain. “Exactly, so come assist me in clearing them,” he said much more aggravated, and left the room. He never did like putting up with her. She could feel his hatred every time they were paired together. She looked one last time at the room and all the information it must be hiding. What a shame she thought. Now she’d have to wait for the report a week from now on what they were using all the junk for. There was still a part of her who wanted to investigate them, but she had to follow orders for her own sake. She wasn’t even supposed to have talked back about it in the first place. Just one of the many things she had to fix about herself. With a sigh, she followed Four out of the room and through the tunnels. They encountered some resistance, but not much. Slowly they made their way down to the ground floor, leaving death in their wake. A common theme she noticed when clearing rooms was their rigidity. Niviri homes were usually quite warm and soft, but these were straight and to the point. Simple weapon racks or bunks, no comfort in the slightest. These were definitely military tunnels which gave her extra peace of mind when putting craters through men. As they managed to secure the second floor, Twenty called in another strike from Night Jay. The weight of the explosion carried through the planet and shook both super soldiers' feet. “Things getting dire?” Thirteen asked as they approached the first floor. “Just a precaution” Twenty responded. With this in mind, Thirteen wanted to hurry things up. There had to be hundreds of combatants out there still and they were being relied on to stop any reinforcements. They approached the entrance to the first floor which was almost entirely a staging area. Possibly a hundred or more fighters all getting ready to assist the outside. Stocks of ammunition and weapons laid in crates as one another helped each other put on gear. Thinking quickly Thirteen turned to Four. “Give me your bandolier,” she told him and held out her hand. Four looked down at the hanging grenades attached to him and then at her. He initially didn’t budge and remained stationary while staring at her. She could feel his skeptical eyes for a long minute until he gave in. Slowly and apprehensively he unclipped it from his shoulder and handed it over. “Just follow my lead,” she said and turned on cloaking. “How am I supposed to do that when you’re invisible,” he asked mockingly to open air. She didn’t bother responding and clipped it to herself so it would get camouflaged as well. Anything close enough or hugging the suit would usually also become camouflaged, but she didn’t want to take any chances. Up this close, she grew a new hatred for the bandolier. It accented her armor horribly. Yellow and leather had no place to mesh well. Not with the white or black, or with the strands of teal. This new zeal aside, her next objective was to get as high as she could. In luck, she found a ladder leaning against one of the back walls. She put her rifle away on her back and hoped it wouldn’t break from her weight. Worry aside, she climbed as high as she thought it could hold and unclipped the bandolier. Then, methodically she armed all of them. With a hefty toss, the grenades along with the bandolier spread out among the men. The grandiose room of a hundred or more warriors fell quiet. The entirety of the room was silent, then it lit up with yellow and red. Now with a vantage point and plenty of easy targets, she gripped her rifle and made short work of all that remained. Four also came in to help with the cleanup, but there wasn’t much left for him to do. At the entrance, he asked for his Bandolier, but upon seeing her no longer with it he went quiet. “It was a necessary casualty”, she explained although he didn’t quite see it that way. She could tell he was fed up with her, but when he swung at her it was a big surprise. She dodged and ducked most of them until one landed on the cheek of her helmet. The impact broke the seal and tore at her ear as the helmet was lodged upward at an angle. Once the seal broke, the impact was then transferred to her face and collided with her cheekbone. She immediately lost grip of her rifle and fell to one knee to stabilize herself. Thirteen then sat there as Four grabbed his tattered treasure from under a body and left without a word. After a long moment, she raised her hand to her neck and looked down upon pulling it back. Blood, he had definitely got out all his resentment towards her in that one. She stood up and attempted to seal it once again, but couldn’t get it to go down far enough. With that in mind she left it as it was and retrieved her weapon before exiting the mountain. He knew exactly how to break her mood which was now in shambles. No one in the squad had ever swung on her before even saying that, however. She reconciled her emotions with the fact that she probably deserved it. When leaving the mountain, she expected to see an active war zone outside, but only found a dismantled town. “Night Jay you are free to leave us, air support is no longer needed” Twenty reported over comms. “Very well” a crooked and raspy voice answered. Thirteen watched as the dark mass took a sharp turn and sped in another direction, jets flared. The camp was now eerily quiet. The battle should have gone on for another half an hour at least with how many combatants were in the camp, but it was silent. “Is it clear?” Thirteen's mic crackled over comms. “Mostly,” Twenty said. “Everyone meet up in the center of the camp and then spread out for survivors” she ordered. Thirteen made her trek towards the center, passing countless torched or bullet-ridden tents. The body count on the way alone was enormous, many more than even she had first guessed. A sudden smell draped her as with a broken seal, her helmets filters could only block out so much. She stopped and squatted down to look closer at a large pile of dead. Most of their faces were covered by long hair and thick coats. She searched for weapons so that she could tell herself that they were armed. It really was a hunt and these innocents were the prey. Twenty’s whole plan of attack made so much sense now. All they had to do was box the camp side in. Aleace knew there wouldn’t be any survivors, but she didn’t know it would be like this. It was a necessary act she told herself, but there was still a pain that wouldn’t escape her. She eventually turned away and made it to the center. She was the last one to arrive and Twenty eyed her the whole way once she came into sight. When together she couldn’t manage to look at any of them. Not out of disgust for her squad mates, but out of disgust for herself. She was inferior, she wanted to serve SHOCK in all her dreams, but if she was in the position to serve like this, she couldn’t do what the others did. If she was in the position Eight was in, she knew she’d feel guilty at the least and fail to comply at the worst. When searching for survivors she couldn’t help but remove her helmet. It wasn’t allowed on an active battlefield, but she had to. She had to see it for herself, not through a filtered lens. The instant she twisted off the damaged headgear she could smell it. Blood, gunpowder, and death. Aleace dropped her helmet in that instant as well. No amount of the broken seal could have prepared her for that moment. It was such a rush of stimuli to all her senses that it was borderline overwhelming. She hadn’t cried in quite some time and yet it felt right here. Not because of any personal grief or sadness, but out of such overwhelming emotion. She still didn’t let a single tear escape her, however. It didn’t feel natural, it wasn’t a real reason for her to do so and so she didn’t. She continued searching for survivors, but really she was looking for answers. How could she manage to do what her squad mates did without hesitation? She was pushing aside the flap of a tent when she saw movement. Her instincts flared and she raised her gun. A survivor, short and with long brown hair. She contemplated pursuing immediately but decided it best to check the tent she came from in case there were others. Cautiously she approached the tent and opened it quickly. With her weapon raised she had no target. The only thing that lay inside was the deceased. A man and woman brutalized with a combat knife. It wasn’t pleasant seeing how big of a hole an Executioner with a combat knife could make in someone, let alone innocents. Aleace exited the tent in contemplation if she’d feel worse if it was her who killed them compared to how it felt seeing them in that state. Pushing the invading thoughts aside she had to catch up with the girl which wouldn’t be hard. In no time she was on the outskirts of the camp running at full speed. Jumping over bodies and fallen trees alike she found the girl. Running down a snow-covered slope towards a shallow and lightly frozen river. Aleace found a flat spot and knelt on one knee. Her eye in the iron sights she yelled for the girl to stop although it came out less as an order and more as a plea. The only thing this did was turn the girl's head to look back at Aleace who she immediately spotted. While Aleace spotted the true her through her eyes. Eyes that told a story. A story of total fear, her previous memories clouded by death and despair. Her rifle slowly lowered away from the target on its own. Aleace’s mind went blank with questions, none of which she could answer. Not a moment later she turned the nob on her rifle to its max setting, took aim, and fired. The girl's body tumbled the rest of the way down the hill without the eyes that spoke of fear. She now sat with her rifle resting on her knee, looking out at the mountains she’d seen a million times. She would have died in the wilderness anyway she told herself. You made it as painless as it could be she also said to herself, but it was very much painful to Aleace. She stood up with a guilty sigh and slid her rifle onto her back. She couldn’t believe she hesitated for a moment, that’s not something any of the others would do. As she thought that, a familiar figure started to take shape out of nothing which made Aleace visibly jump. Holding out her helmet towards her was a white engraved arm with black highlights. Lifeless blue-tinted glass stared at her without a word, waiting for her to take it. With almost shaking hands she accepted the helmet but didn’t put it back on instead, Aleace held it out in front of her awkwardly. Twenty hadn’t uttered a word before she took it and it seemed she wasn’t going to after. The only thing that changed was Aleace’s regret-filled face. Twenty took a few steps towards the village and said “SHOCK expects better of you” in her usual smooth and callous voice. It took a moment for those words to sink in, but when they did they crushed her utterly. For the first time in a long time, Aleace could feel real tears running down her cheeks. All she wanted was to serve SHOCK like her father, but she had failed that dream at that moment. It didn’t matter that she took the shot since it had already been tainted with hesitation. SHOCK required perfection among them especially, but she couldn’t reach that. She did so many things a soldier wasn’t supposed to do and only gnawed at fixing them. By the time her tears subsided she noticed Twenty was gone, likely cloaked herself, and left. She could hear people talking through comms in her helmet as she cried, probably calling for evac. She still wouldn’t put it on, however. Not when she walked through by technicality a battlefield. Not when she met up with her fellow squad mates where even Four stared at her. Certainly not when they boarded the StrikeRaptor where Eight sat peeling away at his paint. Or when they left the craft to go inside base. She now understood the whole thing. It was all planned from the beginning to keep her in the dark. They knew she wasn’t like them and couldn’t handle it. That’s why she was the only one not briefed and the only one who wasn’t told about the non-combatants. She accepted her shame for being so weak as to take off her helmet. She knew there would be some kind of punishment that she couldn’t get away from even if she had put it back on. Twenty would end up telling someone no matter what, but that didn’t bring her spirits down. They were already as low as they could get. She knew she could do better in the future. Next time she would take the shot the moment she had the chance and so the cycle repeated.