Houses for rent stanly county nc
My Psychotic "Mother"
2023.06.02 01:38 Floor-Necessary My Psychotic "Mother"
I (27F) have been on again off again NC with my biological "mother" (54F, and who shall henceforth be referred to as BM because I don't feel she deserves to be called Mom) for the last six years or so, currently in a firm NC stage after our worst fight yet.
It was about two years ago now, and the story takes place over several weeks. Prior to the incident occurring, we had been NC for about three years straight (I was about 21 at the time), during which time I had been expressly forbidden to have any contact with my younger siblings whom I desperately wanted to maintain continued with (11F and 9M at the time). In those three years since our initial stage of NC, my depression and anxiety both worsened to the point that I could barely do anything more than skip my college classes to hang out and smoke. Needless to say, I dropped out in my junior year. I don't say this to put the blame on my BM entirely, just to give context. She may have been a large source of toxicity and trauma in my life but she was by no means the only toxic/traumaticpart.
Anyway, roughly two years into going NC with BM, I decided for a multitude of reasons to move out of my father's (52M) house (one of the other sources of toxicity in my life) and move in with a woman (55F) who I can and will call Mom for the rest of my life (and in this post), though we don't share blood. I'd been born and raised in NY (where I met my Mom shortly after BM had me) but during my childhood she moved to NC (the state), where she and I reside today.
Anyway, about a year into my stay at my Mom's place (three years after going full NC) who do I get a call from? You guessed it: BM! You can imagine my surprise after going three solid years NC. I was hesitant, but I couldn't deny that I kind of missed her, in spite of her rampant toxicity (some of which I promise I'll go in to detail with later on). Hell, I even tried to message her around Christmas/her birthday of that same year but got no response. After all, I didn't ALWAYS view her as the toxic psycho monster I believe her to be today. Honestly I kind of wish I had, then our separation wouldn't have hurt me as much as it did. So, I answered.
I don't remember the exact words (it was a couple years ago and I smoke a lot of weed, plus I often tune her out when she talks because she always goes on and on and on and on and never lets anyone else get a word in, and when she does let someone else talk she'll interrupt and go on yet another tirade) but essentially she told me that she wanted me to be in my siblings lives even if I didn't want to be in hers. It was entirely unexpected and it honestly seemed like a win-win for me. Most of the reason I kept in contact with her before us going NC was so I could continue to be in my sibling's lives, but I just couldn't do it anymore and that guilt has always eaten at me. So I readily agreed, and I got to talk to my younger siblings for the first time in years.
I've always been easy to guilt-trip, especially when it comes to my parents and even MORE especially when it comes to BM. She's a very intimidating person when she wants to be (and most of the time, she DOES want to be). It's taken me a long time to see this is one of the tactics she uses on people (including me) to get her way when people don't just do what she wants.
The day after BM's unexpected phone call, I get another surprise phone call: only this time, the Caller ID gives the name of a Correctional Facility. It's BG again, calling from prison.
Apparently, her husband/my stepfather (SF) (60ishM, and honestly they're only a marriage in legal terms, they've been separated for over a decade) had her arrested on charges she claims were false when she and my siblings went over to his house to get the clothes my siblings had left over there. She basically needed my help to make a bunch of calls and find someone to get her items from the police and to possibly find a way to get bail money. As you can imagine, I wasn't able to be of very much help, having moved to another state. But even after resolving what I could, she continued to blow up my phone from prison and demand my attention, even while I was at work and couldn't answer the phone. When I insisted that I had to get back to work (my job was very demanding and allowed little room for phones activity outside of breaks) she would just keep talking.
About a week or two later, BM is finally out of jail, but she continues to call me because now my SF has custody of my siblings and she believed he was entirely unfit to care for them. In my opinion, she did have a point, but what I didn't say was that I didn't feel that she was very much better. As time went on, it became clear that BM was trying to bond with me again (in spite of what she'd said in our first conversation) and I didn't have the nerve to tell her that I wasn't sure if I wanted to be closer to her again.
There were definitely warning signs around this time: for example, BM likes to interrogate people like the worlds worst Bad Cop, and she interrogated me on why I never tried to reach out over those three years of NC. When I pointed out that I had tried (her Christmas/birthday message) she pivoted to trying to admonish me for only attempting contact once. When I pointed out that she had made ZERO effort and that she had ORDERED me to not make contact (via threat of harassment charges and lawsuits), she basically said it was because she'd thought I'd take out a restraining order against her like her husband had done and she didn't want to risk it.
Now I realize she was just rationalizing her behavior whilst condemning me for the same behavior, but at the time I just let it go. I hate arguing with BM because it's the most draining thing in the world. BM is almost never wrong in her mind and she's incapable of seeing anyone else's point of view. On top of that, arguing takes a lot out of me whereas BG seems to THRIVE on it. In addition, she knows that most of the time, she can wear me down with intimidation.
But I ignored all of this, in part because of guilt. I felt like I owed it to her to give our relationship one more try, even if I didn't really want to. So when she asked me to come and visit her, I couldn't really think of a good enough excuse to tell her 'no,' especially when she offered to pay for my train tickets, so I agreed. My mom was quietly against it (she didn't say anything but I knew she thought it was a bad idea). My father openly told me he thought it was a bad idea. But I decided to go anyway.
More warning signs came while I waited for my vacation time to come up (those will have to wait for another post, because length). I'm also not gonna list everything that happened over that visit because of length (maybe I'll write it in a separate post) but I was basically stressed and anxious from start to finish and I couldn't wait for it to be over. So of course, I missed my train.
And BM tells me it's a "sign from God" that I missed my train and that I should stay with her in NY so I could "help her get my siblings back and so she could improve my life". I was very against this, but after she guilted and argued me down, I ended up agreeing.
I was only there another week before everything went to shit, for reasons I'll have to explain either in the comments or another post. One thing I will say she did here is that she demanded that I treat her as a therapist and tell her all the things I would tell a therapist. She made me write down the things that had me severely depressing over the years in a notebook.
Basically, BM woke me up in the middle of the night to say that because I didn't do what she wanted me to do, it would be my fault if she snapped and killed every person I loved, and I just finally reached my breaking point. I started to get dressed, pack up and leave. When I called my father for a ride, she started screaming that he'd ruined her life and she hated him. She started throwing my stuff out into the hall and demanding all the "gifts" she'd given me back. When she spit on me I called the police, and then she called the police to tell them her "unstable daughter" was having a meltdown. When they got here, she gave them the notebook she had me write to try and prove my mental instability.
And that's what did it for me. Before I left she once again demanded I stay away from my siblings, but this time I don't give a fuck what she says in regards to them.
I don't think I'll ever forgive her for the hell she put me through. I especially will never forgive her for taking my private thoughts and using them against me. In hindsight I know that was partially my own fault, though, for giving them to her in the first place.
I think my worst problem with her is that I'm afraid of her, and more likely to cave when I'm physically with her. So even if I miraculously start talking to her again one day, I'll never go and see her in person. The only way I'd even answer the phone for her again is if she commits herself to getting mental help for her own mountain of trauma, but the thing is, she knows she's fucked up in the head and she LIKES it. So it's probably never going to happen.
To those who made it this far, thanks for listening. If anyone wants the full story on anything I've left out, just say so. I didn't want this to get removed because it's too long. Writing this has been strangely therapeutic.
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2023.06.02 01:34 TJRegan First time buyers- rent, buy, or scheme?
This is a bit of a long one, as I think our situation is a little unusual.
I have recently finished uni and got a decent paying first job lined up a distance away from my parents house, but close to my partner's house so I'm moving in with her.
We'll be in her bedroom in her parents house. It's a small room and a busy house, but it will work short term so we can save up a little.
In 6 months time, I imagine we should have £15k in joint savings for a deposit. By this time, or earlier, I think we'd have gone insane living in her small bedroom.
At that point, how should we look to moving out into our own property? £15k doesn't seem enough for first time buyers to get a mortgage, with the average property price in our area being around £200-250k, even for a flat. Rental prices are around £800/month, again for a flat.
From what I've found through research, I think these are our options... -rent while saving for a bigger deposit to buy our ideal house -buy the cheapest flat we can find, pay off some of the mortgage until we have enough for a deposit for an ideal house -go for a buying scheme such as shared ownership, rent to buy, etc, either to build a deposit or get an ideal house for us
As someone new and unfamiliar to all this, I've seen a lot of contrasting opinions on the many schemes and I'm a bit lost. I want to maximize our money, it would hurt to sacrifice so much income on rent when it's essentially dead money we won't see again. Though it may make sense if it keeps us sane and allows us to save for a deposit on a good house.
Collectively we will be earning just over £50k/yr before tax, I don't know how much we should expect to be offered as first time buyers looking for mortgages.
What would our best option be, given our circumstances? Are there more options I didn't list?
To add to this confusion, ideally in 5-10 years, I'd like to move away to the other side of the UK, so is it even worth mortgaging in such a short space of time?
I hope this post wasn't too jumbled- I'm hoping someone can point us in the right directions.
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2023.06.02 01:34 JeliPuff Who was the Gloucester County Jane Doe, and who strangled her?
On the 4th of February 1990, a body was discovered in Deptford Township. It was found in what was then a wooded area, between the Pathmark Supermarket (Now the Edge Fitness Clubs Gym) and The Club at Locust Grove Housing Department on Clement's Bridge Road in Deptford Township, New Jersey. Apparently the location was littered with car parts.
Her remains were skeletal and incomplete. According to NAMUS, she was missing "one or more limbs" and "one or more hands." There were sweatpants tied around her neck, and her cause of death is believed to be ligature strangulation.
She is believed to have been between 16 - 20 years old and to have been dead for 1 to 2 years before her discovery, placing her time of death around 1988-1989.
It was determined that she was between 5'5 - 5'8 (165cm - 172cm) and 120 - 145lbs (54.4 - 65.7kg). She was white, with medium to dark brown hair, misaligned teeth (several of which had silver fillings), a crooked philtrum (the groove between the base of the nose and the upper lip) and a nasal septum deviation to the right. According to a newspaper from the time, she also had an overbite.
Several pieces of jewelry were found with the body, and multiple items of clothing were found inside the sweatpants around her neck. The jewelry includes a 14k gold horseshoe earring with a spiral pattern, a yellow/gold ball earring and a 16'' faux pearl bead necklace. The clothing inside the medium sized, Tultex branded sweatpants were a pair of Nylon pantyhose, a mid-length sock and a knee-length nylon stocking.
No fingerprints were found, however DNA, dental charts and dental X-rays are available according to the New Jersey State Police. The full DNA profile was uploaded to the Federal Combined DNA Index System (CODIS) in 2008.
The National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children reached out to investigators in 2020 asking if they could review the case, and investigators are also working with the University of North Texas Center for Human Identification in an effort to use genealogy to identify the victim.
The current theory from law enforcement is that she was a runaway from a different area, as "she would have been identified by now if she was from the area." The fact she was found in an area near the New Jersey Turnpike and Route 55 seems to support this theory.
According to unidentified-awareness 10 women have been ruled out as possible matches. They don't list them on the site, however I was able to find 4.
Carol Donn, disappeared from West Palm Beach, Florida in 1980.
Tracy Kroh, disappeared from Millersburg, Pennsylvania on August 5th 1989
Alicia Markovich, disappeared from Blairsville, Pennsylvania on April 26th 1987
Tiffany Sessions, disappeared from Gainesville, Florida on February 9th, 1989.
She has remained unidentified for 33 years.
With genealogy underway, I have hope that she will be identified in the coming years. Hopefully we have a breakthrough soon. This is one of my first ever posts so I'd love some feedback as I'm keen to make some more and would be happy to see where I can improve. :)
If you have any information regarding the case, contact:
The Deptford Township Police Department (Ph: 856-686-2227), and The Gloucester County Prosecutors Office (Ph: 856-3845680; Email: [[email protected]
I used these sources: https://www.nj.com/gloucester-county/2022/02/32-years-after-woman-found-strangled-detectives-hope-new-effort-will-help-identify-her.html https://www.doenetwork.org/cases/121ufnj.html https://www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/1489 https://unidentified-awareness.fandom.com/wiki/Gloucester_County_Jane_Doe_(February_1990)
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2023.06.02 01:28 MissAquaCyan Advice on what to do with eMum
Tw, abuse and ptsd. Sorry its long, there's a tldr at the end
So, for context. I was verbally and emotionally abused by my 'dad'. He has narc traits but obvs I can't actually diagnose npd. I managed to run away and ended up NC with him. (There was a series of nasty letters and I ended up having enough. In my last letter to them I asked to still have a relationship with my mum as I couldn't face loosing both parents at once and convinced myself she was just going along with him rather than being abusive herself, despite her signing all the letters too)
Since leaving I developed cPTSD.
Anyway, we've met up a few times since, had some phone chats and texted a bit. Often when we arrange to meet I end up developing a migraine in the preceeding days because of anxiety that he'll be there (I still go tho). When we call, I often end up in tears (either because of small digs / subtext that goes unnoticed until I reflect on it, or because I can tell from the audio quality and background sounds that I'm on speaker and he's listening).
Whenever we meet up alone, she brings him up and shows me pics of him, despite knowing I'm NC with him (she's read all the letters). I've tried explaining my side of it at least three times and she seems to understand it, but then goes right back to supporting him. (I use terms like abuse and narcissism etc but I'm scared to talk about the ptsd because she'd tell him and he'd have another weak spot to use against me, so Ive had to explain it as me being terrified of him - she replied I shouldn't be afraid and that hes like a teddy bear, and i think shes been trying to use exposure therapy on me).
She has made it clear that everything I tell her (including medical stuff), she will tell him. She refuses to "keep secrets" from him. So I can't fully explain how badly I've been hurt by this.
Tbh not that I think it'd convince her. I've discussed with my therapist (back when I could afford one) how painful it is for someone to come to terms with smth like that and that some people just can't because it's too painful. And tbh I've given up hope of her ever changing or actually supporting me.
Anyway, she asked to meet up and offered to drive. That made me incredibly uncomfortable (if she drives, she's in control of where we go, and could drive me back to their house). So I said we'd agree logistics later.
We're then messaging and I ask if my fiancé can come with us (lunch meet up). She replied with she was hoping for some "mum and daughter time" but it was "okay"... (felt somewhat guilt trippy ngl).
She always seems uncomfortable around him and refuses to talk freely, to the point of it bugging me. (My abuser would usually wait until we were alone before going off at me, and my mum doesn't bring up him if my fiancé is there or try guilt tripping me as much)
So I reply saying that because of how often she brings up my abuser, I don't feel comfortable being alone with her and I don't understand why she get so uncomfortable around my fiancé, especially when I tell him everything anyway. (She changes subjects and won't talk about alot of seemingly mundane stuff when he's there, like my grandparents)
She replies giving the location and time deets and says: "I am so saddened that you don't feel comfortable with me and if our visits together need to be "supervised" then so be it. It provides an opportunity for [fiancé] and I to become better acquainted. It is clear though that you can't put yourself in my shoes because again you have completely misunderstood me on so many levels. Perhaps we can work on that. Xx"
I keep crying and idk how to respond.
Idk whether to go nc with her too, but she works at the hospital where I need treatment and we are in the same profession so have a lot of mutual connections, plus I enjoyed talking with her about profession stuff.
Tldr: eMum pushing boundaries and idk how to deal with the overly emotional responses to boundary setting and if I should meet up with her tomorrow.
Appreciate any advice on how to respond!
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2023.06.02 01:26 JamieLainey123 AITA for supporting my dad through a difficult time?
I (29f) have been with my husband (40m…yes I know age gap) for 8 1/2 years. We’ve been married for two and have two kids
My dad and I have had a rocky relationship. Backstory, my mom died in 2010. She was “sick” for 5-6 years before her passing. I raised my younger siblings (17 twins and 21f) until my dad met “Joy” (fake name) 7 years ago. They started dating and got married at the end of 2020.
I have forgiven my dad for our past, but we have some serious conversations to have.
Joy and my dad were not good to my husband “James” our entire relationship. I can’t fit why in character limits, but they treated him poorly and excluded him because of our age difference.
Joy and I were pretty close for a while. When James and I had our first baby, we went through a rough patch that I confided in her about. She had a large hand in us separating and me moving back home for 4 months.
James and I went to therapy, worked through our issues, and got back together. That’s when Joy’s attitude changed. She said some pretty nasty things about me that showed her in a new light.
I eventually realized the family I was building was more important to me than my dads new wife, so we went NC. Therapy helped me see her for the true narcissist she is and the blinders came off. It was the best thing for me and james, but I had barely any contact with my dad because of it.
A few weeks ago, Dad announced he and joy were getting divorced. He and I started talking more, and he spent his birthday, Mother’s Day, and other days with us. He’s in therapy and also realized how blinded and manipulated he was by her. Even called her a narcissist and questioned himself.
This past Tuesday was the anniversary of my mom’s passing. We have an annual dinner in her honor and Joy was actively moving out of dads house during it, so dad was extra affected. My sisters and I decided to make dad laugh by getting him a “congrats on the divorce” cake.
The booths at the restaurant seat 4 and there were 8 of us. The kids wanted to sit with Grampy, so me and the two kids slid into a booth with my dad. Before James could join, one of my sisters squeezed in, putting James at the other table .
I spent dinner talking to dad, and didn’t check in with James until it was time for cake.
On the drive home, James and I got in a huge fight. He says I deliberately ignored him all night, even not offering him him cake (I didn’t realize I “skipped” him until this fight and I PROFUSELY apologized) my family has been nothing but trouble for us and that I just keep letting them hurt us. I told him I’m just trying to support Dad when Joy broke his heart and manipulated him for 7 years, and he says my dad is a grown man who wasn’t manipulated and he’s reaping what he sowed. I told him I don’t agree and he’s being an AH… and now I’m being an AH who “needs daddy’s approval”.
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2023.06.02 01:24 gk7891 Non-Functioning Doorknob for 6 months. How to handle this?
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How would you handle this?? submitted by gk7891 to PropertyManagement [link] [comments]
We have lived in the same rental house for 4 years. The house been under a property management until 12/31/22. The house sold last summer, and we talked with the new owner and asked about extending our lease. Since January, we pay rent directly to her and the rent went up at that time.
The whole time we have lived here, we only had 1 key to the front door. We did ask about other door keys, but we were told the (old) owner only wanted to give out 1 set.
In December, we got home and could not get the key to open the doorknob. We tried for a while, contacted the property manager (which they couldn’t send someone out right away because it was so cold and the maintenance guys were fixing busted pipes). We let the new owner know what was going on and that we had submitted a maintenance request. Thankfully, she ended up calling a locksmith, who could not even get in that door and had to try the other 2 doors. The locksmith put the door knob back on the door so there wouldn’t be a hole, but it was not a functioning knob.
New owner told us she would have someone here within a week to put in all new door knobs on all the doors and would make sure we had keys to at least 2 doors. She couldn’t believe we only had one key and was upset about the whole ordeal.
As of today, we still do not have a new doorknob. Our rent went up again today. I am absolutely furious. We don’t have a lease - everything with her is verbal. I’ve contacted her about a couple of other issues and no one ever comes here to check. She has said numerous times and even promised one time to send someone out within a week to change the locks. We have NOT asked her to change the locks. She is the one that keeps saying she will have it done and twice she has asked for pictures of all the doors and knobs.
She also bought the house next door and they are fixing that up. It even has new windows and an outdoor light fixture.
My husband says not to say anything to her or be snarky because he says we can’t move right now and our rent is still very low for our area.
Yesterday the doorknob was barely hanging on, but it’s gotten twisted somehow and we can’t access the screws to tighten it. My husband did fix it. We can not shut the door unless we lock the dead bolt.
I just think it’s been long overdue and needs to be addressed?? Considering our rent has gone up twice and it’s been 6 months now.
2023.06.02 01:23 Signal-Narwhal2041 I’m [28M] stuck taking care of my parents [mid70s]and they don’t seem to understand boundaries or how to actually help me help them.
They really are incapable of taking care of themselves and have refused to downsize. I’ve been pushing the issue but bye refuse to help or half heartedly do nothing. I have to digress for a minute. For years, through my teens I asked them for help with managing my weight (they’re horrible when it comes to eating healthy), they’ve refused. Whenever they have asked if they can help, I’ve requested they do something and then they refuse and go do something else. I’m lactose intolerant, gluten sensitive (yes I’ve been diagnosed with both) and now because of the constant stress (cooking lost of their meals, cleaning and taking care of the house hold, driving them to medical appointments) + a stressful job I’ve developed Crohn’s disease.
One of the most recent requests was that my father (who is in end stage kidney failure, it’s his own fault for not managing his type two diabetes) go on a prepared meal plan. It stressful having to plan meals and then have to barter with him on what he’ll actually eat, I just can’t do it anymore. He said he would, but it’s been a week and he won’t don’t anything. There’s no will to move expeditiously on anything.
My mother who has had several mini strokes as a result of her diet has regressed to the point of a toddler wanting to eat junk food all the time, unable to do any chores without me following up (laundry has set for two days after being washed), and is extremely nosy. Even before the strokes she would have family friends stalk me on FB (don’t have a FB anymore) so she could see what I was doing at college or who I was dating/spending time with. She read my journal and didn’t apologize. What an ass. She attracts leaches, people who “like her” because they use her and make her feel valuable. She refuses to acknowledge this and has tried to set me up with such people.
After having no real privacy for 17 years, I’m just a bit fed up. Every friendship or fledgling relationships she’d try to interfere or my father would try and tell me what to do. They scream and yell at each other and don’t value people or at least the right people. I’ve never told them anything because they wouldn’t approve, wouldn’t understand or would try to get involved.
I’ve tried again and again to set boundaries. I’ve told them, I already sacrifice enough to take care of you two, this house and everything else. You have no right or pry into my microscopic social life. Yeah, BuT WerE yoUR PaREnts. And you’ve refused to help me with anything I actually have needed help with. You have no right to know everything about my life.
After weeks of trying my patience, refusing to do any necessary downsizing (minor stuff sorting and calling an electrician and plumber), I exploded. This week I’m going camping with a very close friend. My parents are aware of her (only her name), but I’ve never told them anything because it’s sort of a pseudo relationshipy friendship where we travel, and do things I wouldn’t normally do with a platonic friend (to put it simply).
They both started telling me what to do. Two people who have never camped a day in their life and can’t take care of themselves. My father is rotting and watches camping shoes. He proceeds to lecture me, and I ignored it and politely asked him to stop telling nel what to do because he his not aware of any of the specifics of the camping setup nor what we plan to do. Two days and he just wouldn’t stop and my mother just kept jumping in and telling me what to do.
I exploded again because they refuse to listen to any polite requests, explanations as to why it’s not their place to get involved. I have started to hate them with a passion because they’ve become so selfish about everything. They’ve been living vicariously through me when I started to become “interesting” (their words). There are positive and negatives to any parent child relationship, but they’ve failed to provide the help I needed and I have succeeded not because of their “help”, but in spite of it. Now they’re draining me of any will to live and not acknowledging the sorry state of things.
Anyone able to get their parents to keep their distance, let me know. I know it sounds callous, but the only way I will ever have of life of any contentment is away from them. Either I move away as soon as they’re in assisted living (not far off) or wait until they die (not really).
TL;DR: I’m really starting it hate/resent my parents. I’ve been stuck with the take of taking care of them but they refuse to cooperate. Even worse, they refuse to respect my privacy. I’m not an angry person, but they’ve been driving me to explode. How to i get them to respect boundaries. I’m so sick of being an angry person, it’s not who I amZ
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2023.06.02 01:22 PurpleDatabase I (37F) feel like I am being taken advantage of by my boyfriend (40M)
I (37 F) Have been dating my boyfriend (40 M) for 6 months now. He is well off and doesn't have to work due to the loss of his late partner. I began renting the flat above his house at a discounted rate two months ago, at his request to "Help" him. When we go out (which is rare) I usually get stuck with the bill (about 2/3 of the time). When I cook at his house he expects me to pay for a majority of the groceries or take out for him and his young kids. It usually feels silly when you have a $60.00 bill and all you ordered was soup.
Its frustrating that he doesn't offer to throw in on meals....or if he cooks something he doesn't offer me anything. Today was a prime example of what frustrates me....I had a coupon for a free 1 topping medium pizza. I planned on ordering a pizza for his kids (the one topping) and then one for us....as this is more than enough. I ask him what he wants and he tells me that both children each need a medium 3 topping (they usually split a medium and have trouble finishing), bread and We need an XL. I explained my plan and that I was on a budget.
He got upset and told me that he would just order it. I feel like a jerk for saying anything but this is getting expensive for me. This week alone I have already provided meals for him and his kids for 5 days. I feel bad that he allows me to rent a space at a discounted rate. I want to feel like I am being fair and not taking advantage but I don't want to bankrupt myself.
I can't leave any beer, alcohol or (when I smoked) cigarettes at his house because they will be gone the next time that I come over. On occasion he will grab me something but it's usually me doing so. I quit bring more that the one that I am going to drink when I am at his house. It would be nice to keep stuff at his house and know that it's there.
How do I best address this situation? I feel petty for saying anything but I don't want to be taken advantage of...and I feel guilty for wanting to say something.
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2023.06.02 01:15 East_Dealer_4816 I'm about to be homeless
I paid my rent today and when i did my landlady said i needed to pay $150 more a month. I said not without notice (doubt this is true because I'm month to month but...) So i said this is my last month here, I'll move out. She knows the room I'm renting costs more than i can't really afford because i can hardly buy food or gas and she wants me to invest in all her MLM stuff and since i won't, it feels like she's just pushing me out. She actually said that i barely pay over half so why can't i pay more as if i don't also need money to just survive or god forbid, any emergency. I'm on the wait-list for housing but it's been a year and i have no kids so I'm always gonna be below needy families, fully understandable, and I'm on disability and have a very tight budget. Is there anything I can do besides housing that can help?
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2023.06.02 01:15 nomorelandfills The grief of a pit bull owner after the fatal attack on 85yo Dolores Oskins (Hawaii, 2021)
| || | submitted by nomorelandfills to BanPitBulls [link] [comments]
1936-2021 - Dolores Oskins leads an ordinary life in Hawaii.
August 14, 2021 - Oskins dies a terrible death unfit for a civilized nation. She is looking for her lost dog when she is attacked by 3-4* pit bulls which run out of the partly-fenced yard of a neighbor's house. They bite Dolores Oskins in the head, neck and arms. Two elderly men, neighbor Ernest Waltjen (88) and her husband Jack (89), try to help her and are also attacked and bitten. \
the number seems unfixed, some sources say 4, some say at least 3. There are 4 separate owners listed, and only 2 dogs appear to belong to the woman shown here, so...*
September 5, 2021 - Dolores Oskins dies of the injuries, still hospitalized.
at some point, the dogs are surrendered to Hawaii County Animal Control Services and euthanized.
September 7, 2022 - a family member of one of the dog owners posts to FB photos of the owner visiting her apparently seized dogs in kennels. Police had previously said the dogs were euthanized in 2021, so if that is true, the photos were a year old. Many of the comments ask why the dogs are being euthanized, but one comment asks why was that woman in your yard. https://preview.redd.it/owp4csybhh3b1.png?width=774&format=png&auto=webp&s=db2d1b35a9d5a3a271c34e272d6926bb32d25190
November 2, 2022 - Dolores' husband, Jack Oskins, files a civil lawsuit against the owner of the home and her tenants, which were owners of the dogs.
February 3, 2023 - the lawsuit is dismissed with prejudice, meaning it can't be refiled. Either the judge decided it was frivolous, or the 2 parties came to an agreement outside the court.
Pit bull #1
pit bull #2
2023.06.02 01:06 cocoarican What can I do if a house I am newly renting isn’t ready by the set move in date? (North Carolina)
As the title states above, I recently started a lease with a company who said the house would be ready by today 06/01.
Now when we first viewed the home there was a broken door, the house was a mess, and few other things and we were told this would all be fixed/cleaned prior to or by our move in date. The day has come and none of the issues have been fixed and after exploring the house some more we’ve come to realize there is also no water heatehot water AND the a/c is broken/disconnected.
My lease for my original place is already ending tomorrow. What can I do? Are they legally responsible to put me at another property until the work is done? Can I break the lease and get my money back so I can move in somewhere else? I’d appreciate any advice. This is my first time renting a home and so far it’s been miserable..
I’m living in North Carolina if that helps as well. Thanks!
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2023.06.02 01:05 tombah99 It would have been 8 years in October
Over Memorial Day weekend, I caught my (27M) girlfriend (28F) cheating on me. I have a lot on my mind so this is going to be a long one... apologies in advance. I want to talk about the night it all went down, the days since, and life going forward.
I have been with my (likely soon to be ex) girlfriend for nearly 8 years. We met in college at a party and never looked back. Our relationship was never the most exciting or passionate, but we loved each other.
I will be the first to admit I was not a perfect partner. I struggled with alcohol and we both smoked a fair bit of marijuana through college and our early 20s. I also struggled greatly with depression and anxiety. Despite these issues, I always held down a job and paid the bills. We also rarely fought.
I have made great strides in my life to put these issues behind me. I am completely sober and have worked very hard to become the best future husband and father I can be for our family.
Over the years we built a life together. We both graduated college, moved to the big city, and began our careers. We have 2 dogs (luckily no kids) and live in a nice house in a nice suburb that we split rent on. Our lives are integrated. She is a part of my family and I am a part of hers. We have lived together for years and have shared expenses.
We are not engaged yet but I have had a ring for several months now. I had not proposed because I felt there were cracks in our relationship that I wanted to work on before taking that next step. I had tried to have conversations about these issues but was never met with any meaningful dialogue or action.
I think the story of my D-day actually start a couple weeks before it actually happened. One day before work, I had asked my GF (I'll call her J) if she could please clean her dishes in the sink and clean up her pile of laundry in the bathroom. No demands or anything, just "please, I'd appreciate it". J blew up at me. "Do you know how long you were a mess and I put up with it??". I was hurt but at this point I needed to leave for work so I said we need to talk later and headed out the door. I gathered my thoughts during the day and came home a little early from work. We sat down and I laid out the following points:
1. Please stop using the past against me. I know I wasn't perfect but I've worked very hard to become a better person. I cannot be in a relationship where my partner will hold my darkest days over my head to win an argument.
2. J works the nightshift and I have struggled with this in the past. We don't see each other very often as our schedules are completely opposite. She was open to changing to the day shift in the past but recently has hardened her stance. Recently, she has been sleeping a LOT on her days off. I understand nightshift is brutal on one's sleep schedule but it was getting to the point where she would only be awake 4-6 hours on her days off. These few hours she was awake she would lay on the couch and watch TV. It made having a relationship difficult, and it also meant her share of house duties was falling behind (leaving her dishes in the sink, her clothes all over the place, etc).
3. Sex. Our sex life has never been great. I have been open about my desire to improve things, have worked on myself to be an attractive partner, and have tried to discuss her wants and needs as well. There was never any progress.
During this conversation, I asked for her thoughts and feelings on each topic. I desperately wanted an actual dialogue but she was giving me nothing. Ultimately, she said she needed time to think about what I said. Since the conversation, I had not seen her hardly seen her at all. She had been gone almost a week on a hiking trip with some co-workers that had been planned for a while. Then because of work there was another week of not really seeing each other.
Friday night, J asks if I want to go to a birthday dinner for a family friend on Saturday. I had plans that required me to be up early on Sunday, so I said probably not as I knew she would want to stay and hang out late with them. She swore she would not as she had work on Sunday. I only half believed her, but agreed to go because I knew it'd make her happy.
Towards the end of dinner I go to the restroom and when I come back, what always happens happened. "Would you be ok if I actually went out? I won't be out much later" She asked in front of the entire group so I said "sure, you can do what you want" A few minutes later off to the side, I let her know I was upset that she went back on her word but she was un-phased. She promised she wouldn't be out very late and I believed her as the group was primarily mid-30s people with young kids. One of the other people at the birthday dinner assured me they would give her a ride home.
I drove home alone and the anger built. I typed out a long text about how I was hurt that she didn't come home with me like she said she would, but ultimately deleted it before sending. I didn't want to needlessly make her night worse and told myself we would talk in the morning. I go to bed.
2AM I wake up to go pee. She isn't there. I check my phone and she hasn't texted me at all either. We share locations with each other so I check and it's not loading so I am getting a bit worried for her safety at this point.
I call her and she picks up "Hello?" "Hey J where are you??" "Oh I decided to sleep over at family friend's house" This alone wasn't concerning as the family friends were a married couple with young children. We have known them for years and it was not unusual for her to spend the night there after going out with them.
At this point my concern quickly turns back to anger because not only did she lie to me again about coming home early, she didn't even text me to let me know her plans changed. I told J to get an Uber and come home, we need to talk. She was annoyed and let me know it but I didn't care. She told me she would order an Uber.
Nearly 30 minutes had passed and I had not heard from her. I check her location again to see if she's on her way. Unlike before, it does load this time. Not only was she not on the way back, she was at a house I didn't recognize. I call her back "Hey I thought you said you were ordering an Uber and coming home? Also where are you? Your location is showing you at some house I've never seen".
She sticks to her story. She is at family friend's. She has no idea why her location is showing the other house, because she is definitely at family friend's. I'm uneasy at this point but still haven't jumped to any conclusions. Maybe it was a glitch. Seemed to be pretty far away from where she was claiming to be for a glitch and it also hadn't moved at all in a while... but whatever, anything is possible I suppose.
I am asking her why she keeps lying to me. Lied about not going out in the first place, lied about how long she'd be gone, and lied about calling an Uber 30 minutes ago. She says the Uber is coming in 4 minutes and that she will call me when it picks her up because she doesn't want to argue with me in front of family friends.
I watch her location, expecting it to jump and correct itself once she starts moving. Instead, it moves exactly as if she was picked up in an Uber from that house. Whatever, she is on her way.
I go downstairs and wait for her to arrive. Once she does I ask what she did tonight. "I went to the bar and then to family friends". I ask her what she was doing at family friends. "Just talking. You know I stay there sometimes what's the big deal?". I ask what on earth they were talking until 2:30 in the morning. It just didn't make sense, they're a mid-30s married couple with young kids and full time jobs. Staying awake this late just to talk?
"Well we were talking about you for one" "Me? What about me" "For starters your psychotic behavior tonight."
I was mad sure but my behavior had been far from "psychotic". I never raised my voice and never accused her of anything. I demanded she come home sure but I felt I was justified in that.
From here she continues to say they talked about the discussion from 2 weeks ago. How I "attacked her" and "piled on her for no reason". I was shocked. I thought I had handled that conversation a couple weeks ago very maturely. I was actually proud of myself for taking time to gather my thoughts so that I could calmly lay them out when I got home. At this point however, I was questioning myself.
Did I dog pile her for no reason? Was the way I approached it an "attack"? My only thought was maybe it felt one sided because she refused to engage in any discussion. I asked why she could talk to other people about our relationship but not me.
It would never become clear however as she said she was done talking and was going to bed. I begged her to give me something, anything. I didn't care if her response was in the form of yelling at me. I just needed SOMETHING.
As she's walking up the stairs I ask her to explain why her location was at that house. The story was the same. She didn't know, she was at family friends house. I told her I want to believe her but I know what I saw with my own eyes. It just didn't make sense. I would have believed anything that plausibly put her at that house. "I was at family friends and that's that. If you don't believe me, the we have MUCH bigger problems"
That was that. I did trust her and so I accepted it and went up to join her in bed. There was a little voice in the back of my mind that knew what I saw but she wouldn't lie, she definitely wouldn't cheat.
As I am about to fall asleep, I sit up suddenly and say "J I have an idea" *half asleep* "what?" "Show me your Uber receipts. That will prove you're telling the truth, any small doubts I have will be gone and we can just move on from this. Now she seems to be completely asleep (almost certainly faking it looking back). I grab her phone from under her pillow and unlock it.
On the screen is a text thread to a guy I'll call Jake. There were only 2 messages. First from earlier in the evening "It's J". The kind of message you send when someone puts their number in your phone and you text them so they have your number now. Then one she forgot to send "Hey sorry about that... I made it home ok".
Even at this point, my naïve ass did not jump to cheating. I truly assumed it was probably someone who was also at the dinner and stayed the night at family friends. But then I saw the Uber receipt. It had picked her up from the house her location showed her at.
"J WAKE UP. YOU WERE AT THAT HOUSE. WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT HAPPENED?"
"It's what it looks like"
I asked how could she do this to me? Why would she do this to me? Nothing. Not a single sentence that could be considered a thoughtful response. Despite my demands to know what happened that night, she, as usual, gave me nothing. "It's over. You threw away an 8 year relationship. We were supposed to be together forever. You were supposed to be the mother of my children." Only after those words "It's over" did she show any remorse.
The very little information I did get out of her was:
-This was the first time
-I caught her before anything actually happened
I'm not sure I believe either. It also doesn't really matter to me. Interestingly, about a month prior she told me she had HPV. She assured me that monogamous people can get it. Based on the research I did, it seemed possible, so I didn't think much of it. Now I wonder...
The next few hours were an unproductive loop of various iterations of "How could you" and "I'm sorry I'll do anything to make it up".
Eventually it was 6am and I still had those plans that brought me home early the night before. A 7am tee time. So I left.
It was actually a blessing but I had already had pretty much a full day of plans with some friends. First was golf, then some time at the shooting range with another friend who was going to show me the ropes. These are close friends and I told them everything. They listened to me ramble all day and spent as much time as I needed.
Once I knew J had left for work, I decided it was time to go back home. I had been up since 2am and I was exhausted. I don't fall asleep until midnight. Awake for about 22 hours on the worst day of my life.
Honestly... not much happened after. I hurt. It is a deep, constant ache. It was not overwhelming pain like hearing a family member had died. No... just a constant, deep, ache.
I reached out to some more friends who have all been incredibly supportive. I am truly blessed to have the support system I do.
The people I really want to talk to, but haven't had the courage to call yet are my parents. I can't explain why, but I feel almost embarrassed. I also know that once I tell them, the relationship is 100% over with J. They will never see her the same, and she'll know it. I can't live with that tension my whole life.
While I am 99.9% sure this relationship is over, it's hard to say 100%. She was in my life for 8 years. It means a fundamental change to my life presently, and the entire future I had planned.
Work has been hard. I haven't gotten a lot done this week. I've been distracting myself by talking to my co-workers. Today though... I was the only one in the office. Seems everyone else happened to be working from home.
It was not a good day. I have been in my head replaying the events of the weekend and spiraling. Until this point I was weirdly ok. I think it's the first time I've been alone since it happened so all the feelings are coming out.
I'm not sure what the future holds. I have a few short term plans:
1. STD test
3. Talk to my parents and likely make a trip home
I also need to talk to J. While I repeatedly said it was over the night it all went down, I think it still needs to be made official. I have not seen J since that night. After work Sunday and Monday night, she has been home. I don't think she's left the house. However, I've been spending as much time away as possible and the little bit I am home, she is in the guest bedroom. I have not had the strength or desire to talk to her.
What I'm most scared of it my living situation and the dogs. While one dog is clearly mine and one is clearly hers, there's a part of me that worries she may do something crazy. I don't know what she's capable of anymore.
We are locked into this lease until February. I have re-read the lease and it seems were pretty much stuck. She has family in town she could stay with but I've got nowhere to go. While it wouldn't ruin me, it would certainly be financially painful if she stopped paying her half of the rent. Best case scenario seems to be we live as roommates and stay out of each other's way for 8 months... A pretty bleak best case scenario.
Once we do separate, there's going to be the challenge of divvying up the stuff. We own a lot of nice furniture together. That furniture probably wouldn't fit well into the apartments we'll likely have to move back into after this. It's all just so unclear at this point.
If you've made it this far, thank you for listening. Just writing this was very cathartic. I am open to hearing advice on how I should proceed. Nothing in my life has prepared me for something like this.
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2023.06.02 01:04 Lilahjane66 Eviction process NY state
I have a friend that is facing a potential eviction. She has lived in a house paying a monthly rental fee of $200 and maintained the property for a friend. Approximately 30 days ago her friend/landlord served her an eviction notice via in person legal delivery. The rent was to go up to $900 or she was to leave in 30 days. My friend has health issues and having gainful employment is difficult for her to obtain.
My questions are, on the letter it stated she has until June 3 2023 to pay or get out. This has not gone through the judicial process yet. Can sheriffs show up on that date and demand she leave? Or can she claim squatters/tenants rights and delay the eviction? Also does the landlord need a court order to get her to leave?
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2023.06.02 01:02 Fabulous_Adeptness_7 Tax Protest Settlement Offer
We are first time home buyers and this is the first time we filed a tax protest. We got a settlement offer for exactly the price we paid for the house back in December 2021. Purchase price: $201k
There was no increase in the appraised and market value from last year. Appraised & Market Value for 2022-2023: $211,310
At this point is it worth it to decline their offer and go to the hearing or should we just accept their settlement offer and move on?
The house to our left and right are abandoned and very deteriorated. We see people tresspassing and drinking at those houses all the time. This why I think our appraised value should be less than we paid back then.
This is all new and confusing to us. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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2023.06.02 00:59 Humble_Novice Republican Jailed on OWI, Leaving Scene After Crash in Jackson County
Article: Here Republican state Rep. Jim Lucas was arrested and held in the Jackson County Jail Wednesday morning after police said he drove while intoxicated and left the scene of a crash. Lucas crashed his vehicle on Interstate 65, just north of Seymour, around midnight, an Indiana State Police spokesperson told the Indiana Capital Chronicle. Police said he left the scene in the crashed vehicle. Seymour police officers found Lucas’ vehicle “a short time later at a different location,” according to ISP. Lucas was then located nearby and arrested by a trooper from the state police Versailles Post. The 58-year-old was booked into the Jackson County Jail at 3:46 a.m. on preliminary charges of operating a vehicle while intoxicated and leaving the scene of a crash with property damage. According to jail records, Lucas was released at 7:53 a.m. after posting $705 bond. State police declined to provide a detailed police report, per ISP policy. Toxicology results were still pending Wednesday morning. The Chronicle has reached out to Lucas’ office for comment. The Seymour representative is known for his Second Amendment and cannabis support, as well as repeated controversial social media posts. GOP Gov. Eric Holcomb emphasized Wednesday that it’s up to the General Assembly to decide whether Lucas should continue to serve as a legislator or face other repercussions, separate from any criminal penalties. “I won’t pre-judge the outcome before he’s offered his day in court,” Holcomb said. “I hope he gets the help that he needs.” Lucas represents District 69 in Indiana which covers portions of Jackson, Bartholomew, Scott and Washington counties. Jackson County is roughly 70 miles south of downtown Indianapolis. Lucas was first elected in 2012 and most recently championed House Bill 1177 during the 20323 legislative session. The measure creates a state-funded gun training program for school staff.
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2023.06.02 00:55 Superb-Ad4997 Wildflower Weekend Wedding - Budget/Recap May 2023
This subreddit allowed me to plan our wedding. I am so grateful and found these breakdowns especially useful, and now a cathartic experience for me and hopefully a way to give back! Photos
First step that helped us the most was deciding as a team early on what we wanted our wedding to bring to us and our future.
We were inspired early on by This Post
and the comments.
We have both been through a lot of life and have a lot of gratitude for the people that have gotten us to this point and wanted to make space to celebrate with all of them in a big way. This inspired the rest of our wedding planning, committing us to a big guest list, requiring a big venue. We invited 304 people (154 households), 179 RSVP’d yes, and had ~10 no-show. Our family and friends live all over the country and some abroad, so we decided to pick a location close to us, but that had multiple houses on site to host our family/bridal party for the weekend (thurs-sunday; saturday wedding) so that we could have more time with those people closest to us.
Total: $69,407 (MCOL area)
Venue: $28,250 “Weekend Package”
- Indoor and outdoor space for ceremony/reception
- Lodging for ~60 people w/Lake access
- Rehearsal dinner space (same as wedding reception)
- Weekend coordinators
- Additional costs - $1500: rehearsal dinner speakers/mic, bars, extra chairs/tables, late checkout, event insurance
Additional Lodging: $3965
- 2 additional houses near venue (lodging for 15 people)
- Because we were about 30min from the nearest city, we decided it was important to us to be able to have close family nearby, and rented out these houses as a gift for close family and friends. We debated a few different ways to have people rent the rooms back from us, but in the end felt like covering lodging cost was the better option.
- Postcard STD ($60), Invites w/vellum paper + details/rsvp insert + personalized sticker ($298), Thank you cards ($25), Seating Chart ($20 - GotPrint, 24”x30” foam board, used coupon), Table Numbers ($35 - printed on shutterfly sale 5x7), Programs w/menu ($200), Postage ($207 - estimating on thank you cards, saved money with postcard stamps).
- I designed everything on Canva (free), and printed almost everything above through canva as well with a few exceptions. They were excellent. I had fun making my own wedding “suite” that suited our personalities and could be used from the invites to the table numbers.
- Program was a booklet that was made using x2 8x11 sheets printed as “letterhead” folded to have a welcome page, ceremony structure, wedding party, community vow, wedding day timeline, our love story timeline, the menu, and a thank you back page with a map I designed using SnazzyMaps with pins from every state/country people traveled from
- We did online RSVP through WithJoy and it was great. We also used GoogleForms early in the planning process to collect addresses that autopopulated into an excel spreadsheet.
- Linens** ($360 - bought, (40 round, 10 rectangle) split cost as sharing with a friend. The cost to rent and have the linens transported to the venue would’ve been $2000. This was one of the toughest parts of the DIY wedding - happy to post more info if other people are also trying to do this.)
- Sign holders ($80 - 5x7 off amazon for 48 total), bud vases ($22 - most vases were borrowed from friends/family), Guest “book” ($180- we bought 4 nice photo frames with mattes and took the mattes out and had people sign them - came out beautifully), Bathroom baskets ($189), Glowsticks/Foam party sticks ($63), Sparklers ($97 - last minute add and I’m glad we did. It was special to have a “closing ceremony” of sorts - even though we all went back to the house at the venue for an after party)
- Photo backdrop and neon “good vibes only” sign - gifted
- Flower Moxie “Wildflower Package” with additional add ins ($2260) - these flowers were amazing. (photo of my bouquet in a vase - I’d had the flowers for 1 week!) We got buckets from Trader Joes for free. We had pruning shears and gloves on hand. We have a family member that has done florals for a few weddings and works at a plant shop. She gave us the amazing gift of doing our bouquets and bringing in potted flowers and ferns as well. She also designed a faux flower arbor accent for us based on our flowers. This work was incredible. Happy to answer more DIY flower questions.
- Grandparent charms ($102): both sets of my grandparents passed away. I had these designed from etsy with 3 charms including their wedding photo, kiss photo, and cake cutting photo. Absolutely worth it. Planning to re-purpose as a christmas tree ornament heirloom.
- Wedding catered for 174 people, Chickfila for wedding day lunch (~70 people), PapaJohn’s Thursday night of wedding weekend
- Catering was buffet and “Heavy Hors d'oeuvres” style with a mac n’cheese bar and we heard only good things from everyone
- Included cake cutting service, coffee/tea/watelemonade, and sodas/mixers/ice for the bar
- Bride mom paid for costco snacks/sandwiches for the weekend
- Groom family paid for catered rehearsal dinner
- Bride mom mom paid for wedding cake ($75) also from costco which was amazing - we did 3 sheet cakes and 1 round cake for cutting. We had 1 entire sheet cake leftover.
- BeeWine for wedding and rehearsal dinner ($1557); wedding day bartenders x3 for 5.5hrs ($1950), personalized koozies ($245)
- Groom’s family had a contact and bought all the liquor for the rehearsal dinnewedding
- Our venue allowed BYOB, and some of this cost includes extra alcohol for the wedding weekend, though we also had friends BYOB
- Beer from Sam’s Club and Total Wine ($727) - mix of Miller, Coors, Ultra, Founder’s IPA, Stella (this is the only alcohol that ran out)
- Wine from Trader Joes ($830)- you can talk with someone about ordering cases in advance and it took about 5 days to arrive. We did not do a champagne toast, but I got 10 bottles of trader joe’s prosecco to have at the bridal party house for the weekend. We got 2 cases of red, 6 cases of white, 2 cases of rose and had between 6-12 bottles of each type of wine leftover. I only bought wine that we like, so plan to drink it in the coming months and did not ask about their return policy.
- Included ceremony speakers/2 mics, had a fun video display that rotated out photos of people dancing, and including lighting
- Photo ($4839) 10 hours day of wedding and an engagement session.
- Video ($5000) 9 hours day of and includes a short video plus we paid extra to have all the raw footage
- These were some of our biggest hype people! It was definitely a price point early in the planning process where we had sticker shock, but we are very happy with the decisions we made here. These memories are priceless and the day really does fly by. They made us feel so at ease and so comfortable just being ourselves and coordinating chaotic big families and making the day all about us being in love and celebrating our love.
- Groom suit ($462 - mens warehouse custom, “lifetime” alterations - was a mess. Dropped it off 6 weeks before the wedding, they didn’t call and tell us it was ready, called them the week before the wedding and they said it was ready, the pants were not even hemmed and incorrect alterations had been done. We bought a “back-up” sale suit from J Crew that night for ~$300 and that’s what my husband ended up wearing- no alterations but fit and looked better than the men’s warehouse. Hopefully we get other uses out of both suits).
- Groom shoes, tie, belt, suit shirt ($180)
- Bride Dress ($2299- Stella York- included steaming, storage, preservation), alterations ($410- 7 point bustle, hemmed, shoulders shortened, felt added to shoulder straps, button loops added - was just a zipper, back taken in slightly).
- Bride Shoes ($99 - custom converse, wore several times again already!), Bra ($50- boomba, worked great!), accessories ($130), Veil $20 on amazon and perfect.
- Last minute also added in a new rehearsal dinner dress and short party dress that can be worn for other occasions. I loved my wedding dress and really wanted to wear it all night but about 30min into dancing I wasn’t able to party as much as I wanted to and was glad I had the party dress to swap into!
- Wedding bands from Brilliant Earth: Groom ($1285- platinum), Bride ($1069- white gold)
- HMUA $125 for haimakeup/lashes- (was also $125 for the trial - glad I did it!)- there was also a travel fee as we had it done at the venue that I paid.
- Marriage License $85, Notary $60
- Officiant $300
- Groomsman Gift ($300)
- Bridesmaid Gift ($0- family friend quilted large tote bags for everyone)
- Bridesmaid/Groomsmen Attire ($0 for us - we had large bridal parties so did not cover this cost. Bridesmaid’s ordered their preference of Azazie dress - decided on bermuda blue to contrast the wildflowers- and groomsmen rented from Men’s Warehouse).
- We tipped our day of coordinator $100, DJ $100 (owns the business, but did great!), HMUA 20% ($300 - I paid the entire tip cost for my bridal party but they paid for the HMU cost).
- Photo/Video own their businesses so did not tip- (leaving reviews!)
- Asked catering about tipping and they said they pay all staff a fair wage and it is not expected and gave a range of what people sometimes do tip. We ended up tipping the 9 staff/bartenders $30 each.
Our wedding was amazing for us. It felt like an event that truly encapsulated who we are as individuals and as a couple, and that chance to celebrate with so many people we love was priceless. It felt like all the spreadsheets we’d worked on for the last 2 years turned into reality. This is the main master spreadsheet I used: Google Spreadsheet Wedding Planning
It’s created from all sorts of different helpful spreadsheets I found here and from other wedding websites. The “Checklist” really doesn’t start until I realized how easy it is to get lost in needing to capture so many personal little details that would keep me up at night feeling like they were slipping through the cracks. But if you’re starting from the beginning, you will need to include the big ticket “check boxes” that are in the budget portion. Hopefully it can help some others! Happy planning Weddit!
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to weddingplanning [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 00:53 Savings-Ad-3340 Told my closest friend that I do not want to room with him and now our friendship is strained.
My closest friend asked me to room with him about two weeks ago. At first I was somewhat apprehensible as I'm very introverted and would rather live alone, but I eventually gave in and said sure.
Well, after finding out more information regarding my job (I'm currently working as a temp, however this job will provide great experience and it's something I can see myself doing long-term), after a phone call he suddenly throws me with "Oh yeah, my parents and I found a house to rent. I'll send you the address. I already took a tour and everything." At first I was hopeful because his parents assisted him, but after taking a look at the house I was disappointed as it's in a horrible, seedy area. I basically told him absolutely not and that I'm also not 100% sure if this temp job will turn into a permanent gig. I then told him I'm going to just start looking for studio apartments (I'm currently living at home).
We got into a pretty heated argument over this. He was pissed that I wouldn't accept renting the house but I had no say in it at all. It seems like he tried to guilt me into renting the house "the owners really want me!!" and the whole nine yards and made me feel like shit.
His living situation has not been the greatest these past couple of years and I feel bad for him, but at the same time I've realized at the end of the day, I just want to live on my own. Our friendship is now strained and I don't know what will happen after all of this. He's like a brother to me and I partially blame myself for not being more assertive from the start, instead of just changing my mind.
Is there anything I can do? We both apologized to one another but I can see there is still tension.
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2023.06.02 00:52 Mummels_5 Ireland questions.. itinerary/ tattoos ...
I'm taking the kids (23- 20- and 18) to Ireland in October for the first time. I've been there before so this trip is mostly for them. I want them to see as much as we can but not so much that we miss the details if that makes sense. We're also looking to get some kind of family tattoos while we are there. Not sure of what. They don't all have to match and they don't have to be anything Irish. Was thinking more travel/ family related. But I have no idea where the best place to do this would be. Here is the itinerary so far. I'm more than open to suggestions!
- Sunday arrive Dublin 8 am. Stay Dublin
- Monday stay Dublin. Will book some tours for both days. We're also interested in visiting some bookstores/ vintage clothing shops. Stay Jacobs Inn Hostel. Private en suite room.
- Tuesday breakfast Dublin. Pick up car. Drive to Galway with a few stops along the way. Explore Galway especially the music scene. Stay Galaway at The Nest Boutique Hostel
- Wednesday. Slow drive to Doolin. Explore countryside along the way. Stay Doolin at Aille River Hostel
- Thursday Cliffs of Moher. Drive to Killarney. Dinne pubs. Stay KillarneyThe Black Sheep Hostel.
- Friday the Dingle Peninsula. Stay Killarney
- Saturday (not sure whether to stay in Killarney one more night) I rented a house in Ballinaharda in County Waterford for 3 nights Sat- Sun- Monday. Downtime and leisurely tour of sites on the east coast. Should we get the tattoos somewhere around here?
- Tuesday drive to Dublin via Wicklow. Stay Clontarf Castle one night before we fly home on Wednesday afternoon.
Thank you so much for any insights you can offer!
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2023.06.02 00:51 AutoModerator Here's How To Watch The Little Mermaid (Free) Online ON Reddit
‘The Little Mermaid’ is finally here. Find out how to watch Disney's latest live-action adaptation animated film The Little Mermaid online for free.
Watch Now: The Little Mermaid 2023 Movie Online Free Link: https://actionfilx.com/en/movie/447277/the-little-mermaid
Animated Film! Here are options for downloading or watching The Little Mermaid streaming the full movie online for free on 123movies & Reddit, including where to watch Disney's latest live-action adaptation movies at home. Is The Little Mermaid 2023 available to stream? Is watching The Little Mermaid on Peacock, Disney Plus, HBO Max, Netflix or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service.
The new live-action 'The Little Mermaid' movie stars Halle Bailey and Melissa McCarthy. Make sure to keep on reading to learn where you can watch and stream it.
Folks, it's time to dive under the sea once again. Over the last few years, Disney has recreated their top animated musical films into live-action movies. The Little Mermaid is no different, and viewers can't wait to swim into theaters to catch a glimpse of how the movie will stand up against the original version.
Walt Disney Studios has established a remarkable trend of making live-action remakes of its classic stories. One after the other, all the fairytales of the past era are being brought to life by the studio in an attempt to tell the magical stories in a new light of living characters. With the live-action Peter Pan & Wendy due out in April, Disney will continue their string of live-action remakes a month later with The Little Mermaid.
Get ready to go "under the sea!" The latest of Disney's hugely successful line of live-action remakes, Ariel (Halle Bailey) is set to return to theaters for the first time in almost thirty-five years with The Little Mermaid (2023). The Walt Disney Company once again invites audiences to travel under the sea to see Princess Ariel's story unfold like never before. Featuring direction from veteran musical filmmaker Rob Marshall and other roles inhabited by major Hollywood stars like Melissa McCarthy as Ursula the Sea Witch and Javier Bardem as King Triton, the film is bound to be a bona fide hit at the box office.
Though the upcoming and highly anticipated film will have stiff competition against two stand-up comedians on the weekend it releases, The Little Mermaid is destined to show that life is better down where it's wetter under the sea this Summer movie season. To find showtimes and streaming information on Disney's latest big-budget reimagining of an animated classic, here is where you can watch The Little Mermaid.
Actress Halle Bailey as Ariel, the iconic mermaid princess who longs to be part of the the mysteriously world housed above the ocean floor. When she saves the handsome Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King) from a shipwreck, she makes a deal with the sea witch Ursula (Melissa McCarthy) in order to gain human legs and go on land to impress him. But there's one catch to the transaction: Ariel must trade her voice in order for her to try and see the things she's after. But as fans of the original 1989 film know, this comes with a series of consequences that threaten both her existence and the lives of those she loves.
Before we ask if you're interested in seeing this, we know you are. But like us, you're probably wondering how to watch and stream The Little Mermaid online. Luckily, we have some clues and it's likely to land on a major streaming site very soon. So climb aboard, because here's where to watch and stream The Little Mermaid online.
What Is the Release Date for The Little Mermaid?
Ariel's quest to go from a mermaid into a human begins anew when The Little Mermaid premieres this Memorial Day Weekend on Friday, May 26th, 2023. The film will be going up against not one, but two stand-up comedians and their films that weekend, with Sebastian Maniscalco's About My Father and Bert Kreischer's The Machine premiering on the same day. That said, The Little Mermaid will almost certainly be the choice for younger audiences and families.
While some Disney films are heading straight to Disney+, The Little Mermaid will first be shown exclusively in theaters.
Where To Watch The Little Mermaid Online:
As of now, the only way to watch Fast X is to head out to a movie theater when it premieres on May 26, 2023. You can find a local showing on Fandango.
Watch Now: The Little Mermaid (2023) Movie Online Free
Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Amazon, Vudu, YouTube or Apple, or become available to stream on Disney+.
How to Watch The Little Mermaid
At the moment, you can watch The Little Mermaid at your local theater. But like most movies these days, it should hit a streaming website in the near future.
Like its predecessor, The Little Mermaid is a flick produced by multimedia conglomerate Disney. What's more, the production studio owns a number of other famous franchises, like the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Star Wars. Titles made under these umbrellas have both hit Disney+ sometime after arriving at the box office. Fans may also know the original Little Mermaid is currently available to stream on the site as well. So, if the 2023 version follows the same pattern, folks will likely get to see The Little Mermaid on Disney+ later this year too.
As for an exact release date for The Little Mermaid, that's more complicated. Most movies produced by Disney often go to its streamer site within three months after debuting in theaters, like the most recent Marvel film Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. If this is the case for The Little Mermaid, it will probably drop in late August 2023 or sometime near Labor Day in early September.
When the time comes for The Little Mermaid to splash onto Disney+ though, make sure you're all prepared to watch it. If you don't have access yet, you can opt into a 30-day free trial before choosing a plan that start at $7.99 per month or $79.99 per year. After your account is all set, click on the title page on Disney+'s official website or the Disney+ app.
As you wait for The Little Mermaid to hit the streamer, why don't you watch the animated version and its sequel The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea? Or if you want to immerse yourself in another live-action version, click on the 2019 ABC TV special The Little Mermaid Live!. Enjoy!
Will The Little Mermaid Be in Theaters or on Streaming?
Unlike several of Disney's other live-action remakes such as Pinocchio and Peter Pan & Wendy, The Little Mermaid will be exclusively in movie theaters first with tickets available for pre-sale now.
After The Little Mermaid has completed its exclusive theatrical run, the film will be released on the Disney+ streaming service. Based on Disney's past release models, the film won't be made available to stream before 45 to 90 days after its theatrical release.
When will The Little Mermaid be streaming on Disney+?
The Little Mermaid Disney+ premiere date is tentatively estimated to be August 30, 2023.
While no official Little Mermaid streaming date has been confirmed by Disney, most of its major movie releases drop on Disney+ following a minimum 90-day period, and typically premiere on the platform on Wednesdays, making Wednesday, August 30 the most likely date for Disney’s The Little Mermaid live-action streaming release.
Will The Little Mermaid Be Streaming On Disney+?
The 2023 version of The Little Mermaid will only be in theaters initially. After The Little Mermaid has completed its exclusive theatrical run, it is likely to stream on Disney Plus. You can also watch the animated version of Hans Christian Andersen's 1837 fairy tale of Ariel on Disney Plus now.
While you will only be able to catch the new "The Little Mermaid" in theaters starting next Friday, you can still sign up for Disney+ now to refresh yourself on the characters, song, plot and magical fun from the highly anticipated film. The 1989 version of the movie was a catalyst for Disney's animation renaissance throughout the '90s and it still holds up today.
An ad-supported Disney+ subscription starts at $8 per month, but you can get an ad-free access to the service for $11 monthly or bundle the Disney streaming service with Hulu and ESPN+ starting at $13 per month. Disney+ boasts a huge collection of movies and television series, including Marvel and Star Wars content. If you add in Hulu and ESPN, you have nearly unlimited entertainment at your fingertips.
Is The Little Mermaid streaming on Netflix?
No, The Little Mermaid will not be on Netflix — at least not any time soon. In the meantime, you’ll just have to head out to a movie theater or wait for it to become available to stream on Disney+.
Will The Little Mermaid Be On HBO Max?
No, The Little Mermaid will not be on HBO Max since it’s not a Universal Pictures movie. Last year, the company released its films in theaters and on the streamer on the same day. However, they now allow a 45-day window between the theatrical release and the streaming release.
Is The Little Mermaid Available On Hulu?
Viewers are saying that they want to view the new animation movie The Little Mermaid on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. It will be exclusive to the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
How to Watch The Little Mermaid Online For Free?'
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There are a few ways to watch The Little Mermaid online in the U.S. You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. You can also watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.
The Little Mermaid Cast and Characters
The Little Mermaid was written by David Magee and directed by Rob Marshall. It stars the following actors:
- Halle Bailey as Ariel
- Melissa McCarthy as Ursula
- Javier Bardem as King Triton
- Noma Dumezweni as Queen Selina
- Jonah Hauer-King as Prince Eric
- Daveed Diggs as Sebastian
- Awkwafina as Scuttle
- Jacob Tremblay as Flounder
- Art Malik as Sir Grimsby
What is The Little Mermaid About?
The official synopsis for The Little Mermaid by Walt Disney Studios read:
“The Little Mermaid” is the beloved story of Ariel, a beautiful and spirited young mermaid with a thirst for adventure. The youngest of King Triton’s daughters and the most defiant, Ariel longs to find out more about the world beyond the sea, and while visiting the surface, falls for the dashing Prince Eric. While mermaids are forbidden to interact with humans, Ariel must follow her heart. She makes a deal with the evil sea witch, Ursula, which gives her a chance to experience life on land, but ultimately places her life – and her father’s crown – in jeopardy.
There is not much mystery in The Little Mermaid's plot. As seen in Disney's many other live-action remakes, it is anticipated that the film's plot will largely stick to the original. With the well-known song "Part of Your World," in which Ariel sings about her wish to be a part of the world beyond the water, i.e., the human realm, the teaser already alluded to Ariel's fascination with the human world. Fans will get to see Ariel and Prince Eric's romance as they deal with the challenges posed by their differences.
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2023.06.02 00:47 organicenrichedflour Tenants rights during the sale of a home?
Hi folks. I'll keep the story as short as I can:
I've been living in a rowhouse for 8 years. I and 3 other people rent the upstairs unit from the landlord, who lives downstairs.
Landlord has decided to sell the home. She has serious buyers, but at the time of writing they have not yet closed on the house—however, they're jerking current LL and us around as if they do.
Buyers initially said they wanted tenants, they were gonna increase our rent a bit but we said okay. They made us go through the whole application process (including a fee, which they said they'd return to us because it's dumb to pay an app fee for where we're already paying rent), approved us, then sent us a lease...which was a very bad lease. Multiple illegal/unenforceable clauses among other unreasonable things, including some real red flags. Yeah, at that point it's looking like we wouldn't want to deal with them as landlords, but we've got a good thing up here and didn't want to move.
So under the encouragement of a lawyer I know, the other roommates and I proposed some edits and sent it back, along with a reminder that we need 90 days notice for lease non-renewal or rent increase (which they were either ignorant of or hoping WE were ignorant of.)
They now are backing out of the tenant thing and are saying they do not want us as tenants, specifically because they do not know the law and do not like being made to feel like that's their fault. (I'm barely even paraphrasing there. It would be funny if it weren't the roof over my head. But basically, they don't like that we didn't roll over.)
So now they're saying they'll only buy the house if delivered empty. They've acknowledged the 90 day timeline, so current LL gave us official notice today—she doesn't want to, she was really trying to keep us here, but she's so tired of this whole process. However, they're refusing to repay the application fee (they're saying we weren't approved—we were, they even sent us a lease) and we're concerned at the possibility that they could use our application docs to qualify as projected rental income for the mortgage. Is that a possibility?
Is there anything I should be aware of in this situation? Any rights we might have, possibility that they could screw over the current LL because they haven't closed yet but are making her give us notice, etc?
I was thinking it was a pretty straightforward "if we get the legal 90 day notice, that's it, this is the risk of renting" but a few people have mentioned things like how LL should demand more money for delivering it empty, or we should receive money for vacating, idk. I'm just wondering if there are terms or things I should go look up. To be clear, LL would not be mad if they backed out, as long as she doesn't get screwed over in the process.
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2023.06.02 00:47 DrawDramatic6169 Housing: looking for 1 roommate
Hello, me and 4 other friends have rented a house on Easton ave (very close to college ave) and we were wondering if anyone was interested in sharing a double with someone. The rent is fair and the location is good too. If anyone is looking for a place to stay for the year lease that we have please reach out for more information about the house/rent/etc. You can contact me at: [email protected]
or just message me on here. Discord also works: OneClutchMan#6750
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2023.06.02 00:44 influorescence Housemate leaves toilet seat dirty with his flaky ass crust
To preface this post, I don't consider myself to be a "clean freak" or germaphobe by any means, hell I have ADHD myself so my standards for cleanliness/tidiness are not extreme by any means. That being said, we all have to draw the line somewhere. I moved into my house about 6 months ago, so I have been dealing with this problem every day of those past 6 months. I have a housemate, let's call him Jared, who is in his late 30s and works as a line cook at a nearby country club. After he moved in, I noticed an odor lingering in the bathroom that wouldn't go away. I soon realized that the odor was coming from his towel, which he hangs on the back of the door, and smells like it has never been washed + has some serious mildew stank. Gross. Then I started waking up in the morning to the disgusting sound of him hocking up copious amounts of phlegm in the sink, which he would not wash down the drain but rather leave clinging onto the side of the sink. One time, there was a bloody tonsil stone left on the side of the sink. Fucking rancid. Then, I noticed that everytime id sit down to use the toilet there was a light dusting of crusty skin flakes and scabs that he would deposit on the toilet seat and not wipe up. So every time I used my bathroom I'd have to wipe his nasty ass crust off the seat. (see picture) This is where I draw the line. We are the only two people who use the downstairs bathroom so I know it's from him, and I have no idea what to do other than keep wiping down the seat before I use it, which makes me cringe. I think I'd have maybe a bit of empathy for him if he wasn't such a huge asshole, but this dude has tried to start fights with my other housemates and also never pays his rent or utilities on time. He also recently crashed his car so he's been home constantly, which makes all these issues even worse. I have made a point of avoiding him and my bathroom as much as possible and trying to go other places to do so instead. I am so grossed out by the thought of sitting on the toilet seat and getting his skin flakes all over me. I just had to tell someone because it's driving me absolutely insane and it's so fucking gross but I can't really confront him about it...
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