Currently an ID pharmacist and run antimicrobial stewardship committee at a community hospital but interested in exploring opportunities at institutions such as CDC. Any advice, guidance, insight, etc highly appreciated.

hi idk if some of u remember me from the other day but i got major support on that post and i cried reading through all of ur guys comments with my mom and i just felt so so loved but OK i have been doing a lot better. i am fully recovered, got cleared by my physical therapist, and back to work. i came home from the hospital on friday, and for the last couple days i have been experiencing some of those weird deja vu episodes. mine personally, i disassociate from reality and feel fear and familiarity. almost like i am experiencing something i had in my dream from last night, since my dreams have been quite vivid. i am just looking for someone to relate maybe? or if i should take these very serious, or brush it off. i have been on keppra and lamictal. i have addiction issues so i tend to stay away from ativan, i’ve already had problems abusing it years ago so don’t need that again. :/ thank you guys though seriously for all of ur love on that post, all of you are like family

I'm looking to transition from a Product Owner role to a Product Manager. The work is good, but I need to find a better alternative soon as I'm fearing potential layoff's.
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https://preview.redd.it/60b69s3d4o4b1.png?width=1104&format=png&auto=webp&s=bfbe60c1da3356706ae148a7b2618d08c10f31cb

Warning: Mention of eating disorders and weight struggles.
Hi. For context, I am 14, 5'5, and the last time my doctor weighed me, I was around 208 lbs. I've probably only gained since then.
In the past, my immediate family has had issues with food. My dad went to a hospital for an eating additction, my sister had anorexia/bulimia, and my mom never cared much about how we ate.
I know it's easy to just say "eat healthier and exercise," but there's something in my brain that prevents that. I can never go outside or eat healthy foods. I'm always just watching TV or playing games and eating. Maybe it's a lack of motivation? I don't know.
I always look at other people who are skinnier than me and think "how can they manage that?"
My doctor tells me to exercise and eat healthy, but I just don't know how. I feel like it would be easier if I lived on my own, but I'm still a minor. I'm picky about the fruits I eat, and there's just a lot of junk in the house in general.
Yesterday I was able to stick to about 2 meals, but I don't know if I have the will-power to do it again. I'm afraid I'll be doomed to never lose weight.

Apocalypse Survival Items (1-50)

1. Backpack- plenty of storage space but as lightweight as it can be
2. Food- granola bars, jerky, anything lightweight with protein
3. Water canister- refillable, less space taken up that multiple bottles
4. Water filter straw- if you find yourself out of refreshment and near a body of water
5. Pocket knife- good for cutting through things and technically can be used for self defense(although not very good at it)
6. Multi-use pocket tool- used for many things, can definitely come in handy, along with the fact that it’s very compact and easy to use
7. Medical tape- can be used to secure stitched wounds to keep from getting infected
8. First aid kit- pretty self explanatory. Comes with most of the necessities for an injury that doesn’t need hospital attention
9. Sewing kit- can be used to stitch up wounds along with fixing ripped clothing
10. Duct tape- can be used to tape things up and used as grip for a weapon
11. Walkie talkie set- in case you paigroup up with people and split up
12. Flash light- in dark spaces you need something to see so that you don’t run into something and ring the dinner bell for all of your undead neighbors to gave potluck once again
13. Extra batteries- once your battery powered tools run out, you need back up batteries so that you aren’t stuck in a shitty situation
14. Book of botanicals- you need to know about plants. If not you won’t know what’s food or medicinal or what's poisonous.
15. Small Radio- it might be nice to tune in and possibly find a secure group that is taking more survivors
16. Extra Small pot- for boiling water or cooking canned food if you find it while looting houses
17. Hair pins- for picking locks
18. Waterproof Matchbox- matches are very useful for starting a fire
19. Fire Starting kit- once those matches run out you’ll need something to start the fire that’s going to keep you alive
20. Shoe laces- useful for tying things together and can also be used to tie shoes
21. Socks- to keep your feet warm and keep them from getting blisters
22. Netting- can be used to catch fish and trap small creatures
23. Gloves- protect your hands and fingers and possibly give you better grip
24. Extra set of clothing- in case you soil yours or mess them up beyond repair. Can also be used as a tourniquet if things go south
25. Compact blanket- for cold nights and possibly days, you need something extra to keep you warm because you won’t have any heating and cooling systems for at least a long time
26. Jewelry or something of value- if you are robbed by bandits, who have it in their hearts to just ask you for your valuables instead of just killing you, this can be used to keep them away from slitting your throat or using you as zombie bait
27. Watch- to tell time and now how far you are away from night(aka when the zombies get extra freaky)
28. Tarp- can be used to more easily build a shelter in case you are in the deep woods away from safe structures
29. Pistol or shotgun- do not shoot UNLESS you have no other choices. Lethal but also very loud
30. Crossbow- makes not near as much noise but also a bit harder to get ready. Good for longe range hunting or securing a perimeter quietly
31. Melee weapon- this is your choice, but most would choose something sharp or blunt such as: an ax, a bat, a sword or katana(you’d likely need some training with this to do damage but definitely comes in handy), a crowbar, a broken off broomstick.
32. Leash- this is optional, but if your furry friend comes along to join you, it might be best to keep them on a leash depending on their obedience. Can also be used as a rope if needed
33. Book- something to keep your mind happy whilst waiting for the sun to rise if you can’t sleep
34. Diary or journal- write out your feelings- it gives you something to do and can help you overcome this traumatic experience. Along with that you could also make a list of rules or tips to remember or leave for someone else that can help keep them alive
35. Pen or pencil- you need something to write with
36. Sharpener- you need to sharpen your pencil
37. Map- great for knowing where to go instead of just wandering aimlessly
38. Sunscreen- it can help keep you comfortable on a hot day and keep you from having more pain than you are already in
39. Sunglasses, keep the sun's glare out of your eyes
40. Pain relievers- tylenol, Ibuprofen, ect.
41. Crowbar- can help you get into the trunk of a car or maybe even through a window. Also can be used as a weapon
42. Word search- keep your mind sharp, you’ll need it. Also something to do in your free time
43. Glow Sticks- can be used as zombie bait in a dark area so that you can get past them unseen
44. Dog treats- it may be good to teach Fido some tricks on how to stay alive too
45. Spray paint- sounds dumb, but it can be used to mark a specific spot or give arrows pointing to that spot. Also used to warn others of dangers nearby
46. Battery operated mp3 player- as long as this bad boy is alive, he’ll keep you good company in the darkest of times.
47. Beanie- keep your head warm, it can help your body temp
48. Fishing line and hooks- used to catch fish and can help in other ways
49. Inhaler- comes in handy to clear your airways and allow you to breathe when you have a respiratory sickness
50. Lighter fluid- used to make things light on fire easier

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These are the items I'd bring in the apocalypse. If you feel like something should be added or taken away lmk!

Santa Clara Valley Healthcare (SCVH), a public hospital system, is offering the fully plant-based allergen-free Universal Meals.
The program is available within the Santa Clara Valley Healthcare (SCVH) system. Now, employees and visitors will be able to eat meals free from animal products and the top nine allergens at hospital cafeterias. These will be offered at no additional cost at St. Louise Regional Hospital and O’Connor Hospital. They will also soon be available at Santa Clara Valley Medical Center.
Universal Meals is part of SCVH’s climate pledge. It aims to reduce its carbon emissions by 50 percent by 2030, and achieve net zero emissions by 2050.
https://plantbasednews.org/lifestyle/health-and-fitness/california-hospitals-vegan-universal-meals/

My parents are in the independent part of a senior facility. I'm in another state but my sister lives fairly close to them. Mom has these spells where she stops taking her medication and stops eating for a few days and gets increasingly disoriented due to dehydration. She has ended up in the hospital now 5 times over 3 years for this. Dad is mostly independent for himself but isn't capable of managing mom's intermittent issues... I don't know if he doesn't notice her not taking her meds or if he weakly tries to get her to take them but backs down easily. Anyway, the last time mom was hospitalized they discharged her with the recommendation to have an aide come in but I guess the aide would come for 4 hours and I think every day so the cost adds up quickly and they didn't hire anyone. She ended up in the hospital again yesterday.
I don't know if this 4 hours a day thing is just what the aides at their specific facilitiy require or if it's sort of a standard unit of care. I think they could stay in the independent wing longer if there was someone coming in maybe once a day for an hour and then maybe a little longer once or twice a week... mostly to check that she's taken her medication and eaten something. The quote per hour was $29 which sounds reasonable until you turn that into 4 hours a day every day. I guess I want to see what sounds reasonable ... I probably need to start doing more research on it. Also I'm guessing that a trained health aide won't be interested in spending time doing stuff like light housekeeping or helping them remember to plug their cell phones in but I don't know.
Thanks for any advice/ tips/ etc. They are in Houston TX in case that matters.

Dozens of officers get marching orders as part of 'Operation Safe Summer' in Minneapolis

The officers learned when and where they will focus their attention as the warm days and nights set in.

By Paul Walsh Star TribuneJune 7, 2023 — 4:23
Crime hot spots in Minneapolis will be saturated with law enforcement at specific times under an initiative detailed Wednesday ahead of the warm summer days and nights ahead.
The "Operation Safe Summer" briefing Wednesday in the Police Department training center, with many of the top legal brass acting for the most part as observers along with members of the media, was complete with charts, graphs and maps on a big screen touting reductions in crime. The contingent included Minneapolis police officers and Hennepin County sheriff's deputies, many of them in plain clothes.
The officers learned when they will saturate targeted areas of the city — in uniform and undercover — with the focus on crime hot spots on the North Side, downtown and along and near E. Lake Street.
The operation, subtitled the "Greater Minneapolis Violent Crime Initiative," began Monday and is being deployed on specific dates during specific times through the end of August — though they were not publicly detailed.
A presentation of Police Department crime data comparing the first six months of 2023 with the same period last year showed 33% fewer homicides and 37% fewer gunshot victims. At the same time, gun seizures are up 18%.
On the first day of the initiative, detectives with the Hennepin County Violent Offender Task Force and Minneapolis police officers chased a 12-year-old boydriving a suspected stolen Kia until the vehicle crashed into and destroyed a Metro Transit bus shelter at Olson Hwy. and N. Penn Avenue.
The driver and his five older teenage passengers were injured to varying degrees. All six were arrested, the Sheriff's Office said.
The Kia struck another SUV on Olson Hwy. and Penn Avenue, then slammed into the bus shelter and also hit a man waiting at the shelter around noon, authorities said Monday. The vehicle was believed to have been involved in multiple armed robberies and being driven erratically through the North Side.
On Wednesday, the child, now 13, was charged with four counts of felony criminal vehicular operation and one count each of receiving stolen property and fleeing police. Because of his age, his identity and other details were not made public.
Along with Mayor Jacob Frey, other agency heads in attendance included U.S. Attorney Andrew Luger, Hennepin County Sheriff Dawanna Witt, state Bureau of Criminal Apprehension Superintendent Drew Evans, Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty and Alvin Winston, special agent in charge for the FBI's Minneapolis Field Office. They praised the efforts toward bringing down crime in the tumultuous years since the at-times violent and destructive unrest that followed George Floyd's murder by Minneapolis police officers in May 2020.
"We are focusing on the worst of the worst out there who are wreaking harm or causing havoc in the community," Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O'Hara said of the joint-agency initiative. "You are out there this week and every day and taking these people off the street."

When I was living with my exwBPD, I ended up taking on all the household chores and childcare duties. They struggled with depression and felt guilty about not being able to help out much, so I tried to be as kind as possible about it to them. I often asked for help and gave them oportunities to jump back in, but they told me this made them feel guilty and judged. Eventually, I stopped asking for assistance and just did everything myself, hoping they would start feeling better over time. They used to idealize me a lot, expressing gratitude for all my efforts. They even said that without me, things might have taken a darker turn and that their kids were lucky to have me as a step-parent. They also reassured me not to stress too much about keeping the house perfectly clean, but I preferred a tidy space for myself. So, I would do my best to tidy up after them and the kids, even though it was challenging to keep up.
Things got tougher because of their shopping habits. They would often bring home new stuff, like furniture and trinkets, which made the house cluttered and less functional. Sometimes, they would forget about these items for weeks, creating a hazardous and chaotic environment.
Eventually, I reached a point where I couldn't handle all the responsibilities anymore, so I decided to get my own place nearby. As part of the plan, I would visit their house regularly and participate in their relationship/family life while having a quiet space for work and hobbies. When I discussed this plan with them initially, they were supportive. But when I actually got the keys, they suddenly accused me of abandoning them, which was a big 180. I genuinely thought they might be going through some sort of a mental breakdown as I didn't know about the BPD yet.
After our confrontation, they explained that they were afraid that I was quietly leaving them, despite my reassurances. Then, out of the blue, they decided to leave their own home, where they lived with their children, and moved in with me. They told their family that they were getting psychiatric treatment at a hospital. I thought it was only temporary, but then they simply showed up and never left.
During that period, they still didn't contribute much to the household chores. They still spent their days in bed, engrossed in their phone. They also expressed an interest in having an open relationship, which took up a lot of their already limited attention and energy. Occasionally, they would help with tidying up when their new partner was coming by, but otherwise, they didn't do much.
We never really talked about the long-term plan for their children, who were being taken care of by a family member at that point. The whole situation was confusing, but I avoided pushing the issue, thinking it was related to their mental health struggles and that they would eventually get back on their feet.
After several months of them going back and forth between withdrawal from me and excitement over their new partner, I couldn't take it anymore. I felt neglected, anxious, and emotionally drained. Their idealization of me had faded, and even though they made some kind gestures, I could sense their emotional distance, which made my clinginess worse.
One day, they suggested transitioning from a romantic relationship to being "best friends and roommates." They still didn't want to move back home. At the time, I didn't fully understand what that meant, so I agreed. But after about a month, I couldn't handle seeing them so caught up in a new, shiny relationship. Overwhelmed with emotions, I ended up crying, and they reacted by abruptly and cruelly ending our relationship. They went back home to live with their children, blaming the breakup and their return on me, claiming they no longer wanted to be a parent and that I was "subjecting them to their children". We never discussed this before, and they were the ones who initiated both the breakup and the decision to move back home with their children.
They accused me of being toxic and claimed they had been blind to my supposed toxicity for months. They even started mirroring the behaviors of my replacement, changing their appearance and preferences, and asserting that I had prevented them from being their true selves.
I was completely shocked by this sudden and significant change in their perspective. It's been three months since we separated, and we talk sporadically. They go back and forth between saying they're miserable (although I suspect it's manipulation to make me feel guilty) and how much better they feel without me "weighing them down." They even told me they no longer have feelings for their new partner, but I've heard from friends that they still spend a lot of time together and have even gone to all "our" favorite spots and date locations.
The last I heard, their house was still cluttered. However, today I found out from a family member that they sent the kids to their ex's for four days to "organize the house." That's not something they would have done while I was there. Although they liked frequently rearranging furniture and redecorating, it used to make me anxious because they struggled with the task but never asked for help. When I offered assistance once, they got annoyed, so I assumed they would ask me if they needed help. Then they complained, accusing me of not stepping in when they clearly needed help, which left me feeling like I couldn't win.
I'm worried that I genuinely had a negative impact on their life, despite my best efforts, and now that I'm not around, their home will go back to being perfectly tidy like it used to be. They blamed me for doing too much for them, saying it made them incapable while I lived there. But I always encouraged them to contribute and did what was necessary. Sometimes, they would even complain that I focused too much on housework and didn't spend enough time with them!
I'm just wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation with their pwBPD and seen them genuinely make significant improvements in their life and find lasting happiness after ending the relationship.

Our endo group at a “famous hospital” keeps screwing up. They got us 1x five pack of Dash with no refills.
But really, I can be in Tijuana in 3 hours. I’ll pay retail for omnipods. Is that even possible? Going back on shots for summer break ain’t gonna be cool.

I’m at the crisp, ripe old age of 15, having just turned a little over a month ago, and I just keep sitting back and thinking, "Wow, am I really going to waste my teenage years chasing an impossible goal that, even if I do reach, I won’t ever be truly happy at?" and, despite that, I go on.
Like, fuck, I almost died. This disorder put me in the hospital, and if I wasn’t medically weight restored and pumped full of nutrients for those two weeks, I would’ve gone into cardiac arrest any-day now, and yet all I can think about is how that set me back from my UGW and how I’ll need to spend all of summer getting back down to where I was before I was hospitalized.
I should be spending my high school years happy, exploring new things, and exploring myself, yet I waste it all rotting, obsessing over food, calories, and my body, and despite knowing this, I continue because I need to be sick.
My mom told me that before I was weight restored, she cried every time she’d look at my body, that I was ugly and skeletal, and that looking at me made her think she failed as a mother, but all I can take from that is annoyance at how her worry is going to get in the way of restriction. I’ve had to up my intake too. From 0-199 calories a day to under 499 so I can eat more to evade suspicion, and it makes me feel disgusting. Like I’ve failed, like I’m some undeserving glutton who doesn’t deserve their diagnosis, and that coupled with me no longer being underweight because of my hospitalization just makes it even worse.
I would’ve, and still would, rather have had my ED kill me on the day I had to be rushed to the ER than have gained the weight they made me gain, and that fact terrifies me, or at least it should terrify me, but it doesn’t. I shouldn’t be living like this, especially so young, and I know that, but I don’t care.

Today the official threat happened. My therapist very seriously wants to hospitalize me. I negotiated two weeks to try and drink some of a protein shake every other day. I need to make this work.
I don’t know how to do it, I panic at the idea of ingesting anything. I even have a hard time drinking water. I try to negotiate and make deals with myself where I plan that I’ll eat something small, but then I can’t do it. It’s so obsessive, I feel like the world will fall apart if I eat anything. I feel a desperate need to punish myself if I even think of wishing I could eat.
I felt so in control for so long but now there are these moments of utter panic where I feel completely helpless and out of control and I realize that can’t stop/make myself eat. So of course my stupid brain thinks “oh if I take it a step further then I’ll be in control again” and now I’m here. Something needs to change but I don’t know how to do it on my own.
Any advice would be appreciated - tips on tricking your brain, distracting yourself, anything. I’ve been hospitalized twice in the past (non-ED related) and I’m terrified of it happening again.

👎Martin from Dillon’s: The general manager of an NYC Indian/American restaurant. Aside from socializing and playing on his phone, Martin does next to nothing.
The dining room walls are draped in hospital linens, making for an unappealing ambiance. After praying he will not succumb to food poisoning, Gordon finds meat in the vegetarian appetizer sampler and is served lamb in place of beef. He summons the chef responsible for the abominable burnt salmon and potato dish and asks him to eat it.
Gordon inspects the kitchen and quickly discovers it is infested with vermin. He also finds moldy meat and rotten produce. Shocked and repulsed by his findings, Gordon shuts down the restaurant. He hires steam cleaners to sanitize the restaurant and disposes of the rancid inventory. Gordon takes the owner and managers to his restaurant London to show them what a kitchen should look like.
Gordon chastises Martin’s etiquette, preoccupation with his phone, and lazing around at work. When a server tells Gordon his criticism of Martin is angering her, he explains that his problem is with Martin and requests that she mind her own business.
During service, Martin is awkward and befuddled. The kitchen gets backed up and customers complain about the food; Martin does fuck all about it. His ineptitude frustrates everyone around him, yet his nonchalance persists.
Gordon tells Mohammed that Martin is manipulating him. Incensed by the allegation, Martin accuses Gordon of slandering him. He then quits his job. Martin unsuccessfully sued Gordon after the episode wrapped.
👎Michele from The Secret Garden: The overconfident Michele seems to believe that being French is synonymous with being a great chef. His menu is comprised of bizarre dishes that have failed to attract customers. Michele’s staff is not shy about pointing out his shortcomings, calling him arrogant and temperamental.
Gordon is appalled at finding mold and maggots in Michele’s filthy kitchen. Michele is unconcerned by his unhygienic practices, telling Gordon he worked for renowned chef Thomas Keller. Gordon retorts by asserting that Thomas Keller would be embarrassed by the state of Michele’s kitchen. Michele claims he makes decent money but fails to give Gordon an answer when asked about his annual profit. Gordon has the staff clean the kitchen from top to bottom.
At dinner service, Michele abandons his post to fraternize with the customers in service of his ego. Gordon accuses Michele of being more in love with himself than he is with the restaurant. In an attempt to get Michele to see the light, Gordon boards up The Secret Garden with plywood and closed signs. Michele is enraged by the stunt and worries that potential customers will falsely believe the restaurant has gone out of business.
Gordon’s new specials do not impress Michele, who claims Gordon is not a great chef. Despite Michele’s disapproval, the specials prove popular with customers. A lack of communication between the front and back of the house results in long wait times and dissatisfied diners. Michele responds to the crisis by comping many orders. Server Jane becomes fed up with Michele’s constant disrespect and leaves the restaurant.
The next day, Gordon criticizes the aesthetics of the dining room, which is filled with tacky antiques; Michele calls it charming. While the staff is delighted with the updated look, Michele is anything but. Gordon replaces Michele’s crusted and stuffed dishes with modern fare, but Michele worries that customers will miss his culinary creations.
At relaunch, a food critic is served over-seasoned tuna. Michele attempts to win over the food critic with his stuffed fillet of beef, much to Gordon’s horror. Gordon and Michele get into a heated argument. Gordon loses his temper and calls Michele a lazy cunt. Gordon screams at Michele to clean his kitchen, but Michele steadfastly refuses.
Gordon convinces Michele to serve a lamb dish from the new menu in place of Michele’s disastrous dish. The food critic is pleased with her meal, but Michele is not convinced the customers like the new food. After Michele learns the restaurant made $3000 that night, he finally seems convinced that Gordon’s changes are for the better. After Gordon left, Michele claimed that customer demand for his old dishes resulted in him bringing back the old menu.
👎Sebastian from Sebastian’s: Owner Sebastian is obsessed with his complex menu concept of gourmet flavor combinations, which he believes is the restaurant’s claim to fame. Gordon finds the menu needlessly complicated and is flabbergasted when Sebastian reveals that in addition to the 20 combinations on the menu, he has come up with 20 more.
Sebastian lies to Gordon about the calamari being fresh and whines to his parents on the phone after Gordon disparages his dishes. He tells Gordon that his aspiration is to become an international franchise; an exasperated Gordon attempts to reason with him to no avail. Gordon then catches Sebastian bragging that he won the argument and calls bullshit.
Gordon conducts a kitchen inspection and finds nothing but frozen food. Sebastian comps $300 worth of food due to customer complaints and abandons the restaurant to hang out with his friends. He tells Gordon that regaling the customers with his presence makes up for the substandard food. Gordon asks if Sebastian is happy being a fake chef; Sebastian says he doesn’t believe he’s a fake chef and restates his desire to become a global brand.
Although the ridiculous menu confuses staff and customers alike, Sebastian remains devoted to it above all else. Gordon institutes a new menu, much to Sebastian’s dismay. He claims the new menu lacks uniqueness and remains fixated on his concept. A frustrated Sebastian retreats to his office and complains that the staff are shirking their cleaning duties.
Despite the new menu being a hit with customers, Sebastian reinstates the old menu, saying he will never get rid of his flavor combinations. Gordon tells Sebastian he has never met someone he believes in as little as him. After an outburst in front of the staff, Sebastian confronts Gordon, who calls him an ungrateful, nasty, vindictive joker.
After taking a breather outside, Sebastian sees the error of his ways and returns to the restaurant. Despite this teary epiphany, Sebastian immediately reverted to the old menu after Gordon left, and the restaurant closed its doors a few months after the episode aired.

Sorry, it’s a long one.
As the title says, I’ve been thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of a little over a year. We’d been great friends for a few years prior and when we got together we both thought it was perfect. Obviously it was the whole “honeymoon phase,” or whatever, but it did genuinely feel good to be away from the bad relationships I’d been in in the past and finally in a good one.
As the environment in her apartment got pretty bad with her roommates she no longer felt safe there and so, quite soon into the relationship, she ended up moving in with me. In turn, we split my rent which helped me stay in the big city even with a very sudden increase to my rent. I honestly thought that us living together was the best situation for us both: we could stay together in a place where we both felt safe and loved.
Unfortunately, not much later on, I found out that there was a lot more in store for me than I’d originally anticipated.
She has always had some mental health issues which she was always seemingly in control of and, before we dated, had gone through a lot of therapy and gotten the help she needed to overcome her issues. That said, it seemed to get worse again while dealing with a plethora of issues including but not limited to financial problems concerning her ex-roommates and especially issues surrounding work and her family. Throughout all of this, though, I was there for her.
While dealing with these very difficult situations she became increasingly depressed and even s***idal. Nevertheless, I encouraged her to seek help again in any form she might need and tried to give her ways of coping. None of this advice she took and, on several occasions, has outright refused to access special services offered to her for coping during crisis. When I suggested I talk to her family for help, she begged me not to for fear of them bringing her back home and away from me (she is from another country).
This continued for some months with ups and downs and plenty of hospital visits. There would be weeks which would be pretty bad but there was some genuinely excellent days which, realistically, is likely why I’ve held out. I’ve been speaking to a therapist myself ever since this started in order to finds ways to cope (and perhaps impart this wisdom on her when she needs it) but she doesn’t know I’ve been talking to anyone.
That said, she does an incredible job of keeping all that stuff hidden and downplaying it in front of our friends. Whenever we’re out you might hear her crack the occasion self-deprecating joke but she will walk around with utmost confidence as if she’s totally fine. This is often stiffened with alcohol. As soon as we’re alone, though, she immediately goes back to being upset and refuses to tell me why if I ask her what’s up. Sometimes I wonder if she’s serious that she’s not doing so good or if she’s just playing it up in front of me so that I care about her and/or give her the attention she wants - as if I wouldn’t anyway. I suppose that’s a sign of something else entirely though.
We spoke about communication but she isn’t interested and never takes my thoughts into account. I just want her to talk to me so we can get past whatever she’s going through. She says she can’t do it.
It became harder through all this to see friends on my own without her getting herself into a panic about one thing or another. I think it’s separation anxiety but it’s to a ridiculous degree that’s unhealthy for either of us. She doesn’t have a lot of her own friends to turn to or hang with either but we do share some and the few she does have of her own are genuinely great people… she just doesn’t want to spend time with them. When she does, I’m usually forced to be there too.
It also got harder after this for me to pursue music. To be perfectly honest, there’s not a lot of people to pick from within our circles that can play an instrument and so I play in her band as well as a couple more. I try to split my time equally as all the bands are fun for me and I’m happy do my bit, expand my playing across the genres and whatnot… but she doesn’t like that. Instead, she finds it’s threatening that I’m in any band that isn’t hers in case I lose interest in hers or in case I sideline her band which she desperately wants to make work (despite me having to book gigs and organise rehearsals for her). I’m often guilted into not going to rehearsals that aren’t for her band but, when I do, she comes with me and gets annoyed/upset if I look too happy or interested.
I have expressed that I would like some more freedom but it doesn’t seem to matter as, in every way, I’m supposed to pity her and console her for not being as outgoing which basically means in the end I have to stay in with her instead. I can’t even go out for a drink with my friends after work without her freaking out that I’m going to be home late and we won’t have time together. While I could understand this if I didn’t spend any time with her… we live together, wake up together, cook and eat together, go out together, play music together and fall asleep together. I don’t get any time away from her besides going to work.
On top of all this, there’s an unhealthy amount of alcohol being consumed to boot and sometimes even Xanax because she “likes the taste”.
This is all without a bunch of stuff that would make this already essay-long post a lot longer.
I’ve tried talking to her but I just don’t think I can do it anymore. She doesn’t care to listen and I kind of doubt she respects me at all. The negatives have all been far outweighing the positives recently. I can’t cope with the strain that dealing with this relationship is putting on me.
Do I cut things off now before it gets any worse or do I try again to get her some actual help? Am I being harsh? There are some days where we are great but they’re just so rare, everything seems to be an issue for her. Where would she go if we split? I can’t afford to live here alone, where would I go? I still love her so the last thing I want is to hurt her or make things any more difficult for her.
Any advice on how to handle this situation or prepare/approach the breakup will be ridiculously well received. Again, sorry for the long post and I appreciate if you took the time to read and help.
TL;DR: Girlfriend has a bunch of mental health issues and is hard to live with. How do I break up with her to help us both?

Hello everyone, Me and my gf adopted two baby kittens. They were born on March 23rd, one of them is progressing just fine and is already vaccinated and gaining weight as usual.
The other kitten suddenly stopped pooping, which prompted us to take him to the vet. After some medicine and having the best diet possible prescribed by the Dr. he started pooping very very loose stools filled with blood. He was diagnosed with Fcov, all other parameters in the blood samples were fine (other viruses and diseases were excluded)
After going to the vet three times with him, from which he was hospitalized there for 5 days, he is still severly constipated. We are now feeding him a paste twice a day, a local antibiotic to reduce sweeling and inflamation, and he is also taking a nightly pill.
He is also not gaining any weight, still weighing in at 600 grams for the past month.
We are unsure on what our next steps should be, it’s becoming really expensive and taking a toll on our daily sanity and work productivy due to always having to clean the stains he leaves everywhere from poop he can’t fully push out.
Has someone ever had a similar experience? :/
Edit: The cat has started to try pooping outside of the litter and keeps trying to do so every once in a while, always without any success

My first abscess was in 2019, it opened up and drained before I was able to get in with a CRS but I did shortly thereafter and was hospitalized overnight for, what I was told, was an I and d. Came out of surgery with a “Penrose” that was later removed in the office. Healed well, and it never returned. No scar, that I know of. Now I have had several on the other side, that ultimately led to a complex fistula that I had a setone placed and later a LIFT procedure which I am seven weeks out from and it’s still healing. I wonder if that first one was actually a fistula. I have never heard of an I and D that had a looped piece of material in it after surgery. They told me that it wasn’t a fistula though, so in retrospect I am very confused.

I work for a large company in Ohio. At the start of this year, during open enrollment, I added my spouse to my insurance. I was informed that in order for her to be insured I needed to submit dependent verification including a marriage certificate and tax documents within a certain deadline. Due to a series of unfortunate circumstances I missed that deadline but have provided the company with proof that she is my spouse. In January she did receive an insurance card. We used that insurance when she was hospitalized that month for a week (and nearly dying) due to sepsis. At this point, she has been dropped from my insurance because I did not send verification documents within the time limit. The hospitalization is not being reimbursed by the insurance we thought we had. I understand that under the Affordable Care Act I have a right to have my spouse covered by my insurance. Is there any legal grounds on which to compel my company to get my spouse covered again, or otherwise get the insurance to pay the extensive hospital bills?