***Second attempt, technical difficulties, thanks for your patience***
Happy Fri-Yay, Snarkers, not to be a outdone with Ra!s arrival video earlier today here comes OfNostrils, who has decided to help out in Operation Look At Our Crotch Fruit Instead of The DoCuMeNtaRy. It seems she only misses a Friday when I give her a heads up, I’m just kidding folks. Anyhow, she decided to make Actually Gunner’s arrival vlog stretch into three parts. She still hasn’t updated the intro Actually Gunner Still James to be added, but she has annoyingly, left the birth audio trailing over the intro music theme. It looks like JimBlessa’s template of 4 vlogisodes with Plant 2 but the actual birth week vlog with the recycled footage didn’t do what she thought it would.
Which part is she worried about? Space? Money? Time?
Maybe we should call them Oblivious and OfOblivious
OfNostrils climbs into the passenger seat of the car and does not put on a seatbelt. OfNostrils does have a seatbelt on but he looks over with his serial killer grinch grin as they drive past the hospital entrance. OfNostrils says that she is excited for freedom but exhausted. I feel like I’m just tired of her stating the obvious every 35 seconds at this point. She’s back to stating that so surreal and she can’t believe that they have a little baby in the back of the car. Nostrils says that it didn’t seem like she was pregnant until a week ago because checks notes they did regular stuff up until she had the baby. So were the 5 to 7 vlogisodes where Nostrils had to give her stomach shots just a fever dream, a mass hallucination or what? Is it normal for them high risk baby doctor appointments? Is it normal for her to go to the obstetrician multiple times a year? If these are there “normal winter activities” I have questions. I mean yes besides the fact that they were giving her shots in her stomach and are going to a doctor and to a specialist, they basically ignored the fact that she was pregnant for 8 ½ months like she was 17 and her high school sweetheart knocked her up. But even the depths of their delusion aren’t enough to keep a newborn from actually appearing in the car seat behind you. OfNostrils states that it is so weird they have three kids now, “what are we doing, we’ve got 3 kids”. Just wait a year and ask Kath! what to do. She’ll know.
....that's not how any of this works.
Anyways, OfNostrils has to call to let J16 know they’re on the way back to take control of her temporary buddy team. Before they do that though OfNostrils proves she has zero idea how any of this works she asks Nostrils if they should tell them now meaning us, the viewers. This was filmed on the way home from the hospital with Actually Gunner, which means this footage is from roughly 2 weeks ago. I think she thinks it’s Facebook live. I should stop joking about things like wanting to see what names Actually Gunner beat, because I snark and OfNostrils posts. I kid, I kid. OfNostrils screws her face up to tell us the name, and then doesn’t. I mean we already know that it’s Actually Gunner Still James because she said so on Instagram like literally 2 weeks ago. I guess this tells us how badly TLC messed with the timelines back when she was a kid.
I should stop joking about things like wanting to see what names Actually Gunner beat, because I snark and OfNostrils posts and now we get a little explanation into the name. Apparently, it wasn’t on their list at all so I guess just fuck any of us who may have had a line on this one of the sports apps. I’m kidding, I’m just tired of seeing the betting app commercials. It looks like Nostrils needs to give his wife a refresher on the difference between Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and cable TV, because she wants us to “put our guesses in”. What do I win if I guess right? Thank God I’m not Rumple-fucking-stiltskin otherwise she would owe me Giddy-Up unless Austina volunteered as tribute. But anyways, they looked up a name online, which I’m betting was Gunner and picked it because none of the rest of them fit whenever they were laying on the bed and holding him. Nostrils added that part as they turned onto another road, put at least he was checking on-coming traffic. OfNostrils takes back the fact that she said she would tell YouTube viewers first and says instead that when they tell Nostrils: The Next Generation a.k.a. J16s practice buddy group, though tell everybody. Except, she told everybody on Instagram like that day? I don’t think she knows what she’s doing at this point.
That beard ages the hell out of Nostrils
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Nostrils: The Next Generation swarm out to meet their new member, meaning the footage of them sitting then running to the door was edited or staged.
As they drive up the driveway, Nostrils begins singing “taken the little man home”, but the captions have it as “old man home”. He also says “welcome home baby brother”, as OfNostrils wonders how Giddy-Up and Austina will react. Well I mean did you guys tell them Actually Gunner will be coming home from the hospital? I don’t think don’t have a problem with it, they're probably more prepared than you two are. I'd bet Austina would have had the bag packed if it had come down to it. IIRC, Austina practically ripped Actually Gunner out of Nostrils’ arms the second her butt hit the hospital bed, and Giddy-Up seemed pleased. “Aunt Johanna” is going to come out and take the camera from OfNostrils. Austina and Giddy-Up come out to the car and promptly lose their shit that Actually Gunner is home. Perm ends up gathering everybody back inside so J16 can shoot the footage we saw last week of Austina pushing the Doona into the house. They get Austina set up in the chair, use a pillow to prop up Actually Gunner and get to filming the name reveal. Giddy-Up asks why his eyes are closed, OfNostrils says it’s because the baby is sleepy. As OfNostrils tells her daughter that the newborn "wanted to" sit on Austina's lap and also that her new toys were from the newborn, Actually Gunner proves he has impeccable timing and farts on Austina’s lap, showing how much of that he believes. Austina kisses her newly established buddy team member on the forehead and waits to hear what his name is. Giddy-Up is with us and thinks it’s a horrible name, rage quits to his room and is brought back out to the living room by his mother. Of nostrils was laughing about the fact that Giddy-Up was mad that they did this to his little brother. I mean Gunner James doesn’t even make cool nickname letters like GJ is...eeww. At least Edwin would’ve been EJ.
Actually Gunnar gets comfy and lets it all out once he's home.
Giddy-Up was still holding out for Mr. Joel.
What did they expect? They kept asking Giddy-Up what he wanted to name the baby, then ignored it. Of course he's a little salty.
20 bucks says Giddy-Up ends up calling Actually Gunner \"Buddy\" or \"Bubby/Bubba\".
After Giddy-Up gets hauled back out to the living room, like SiAhh when they announced Perm was pregnant with Josie or Jubilee, OfNostrils sits him down and explains that he can call the baby a different nickname if he wants. In swoops Nostrils with Actually Gunner, to say that it if people said Gideon was a bad name then Giddy-Up wouldn’t like it so he should be more kind. OfNostrils, to her credit, soothes her son and asked him about his new sandals. Giddy-Up cheers up, but Nostrils isn’t done with him yet. Nostrils makes it a point to say that Actually Gunner is Giddy-Up’s brother, like Austina is his sister and that Giddy-Up needs say “I love you baby brother”. What kind of new age bullshit is this? Giddy-Up has no problem with his brother, he just doesn’t like the backwater redneck name you picked out for him. Hell, I might even go so far as to say that Giddy-Up and Austina love that kid more than their parents do. Austina doesn’t seem to trust them with him, and Giddy-Up is actually worried about this kid down the road.
Nostrils proves he was the one who was upset Giddy-Up doesn't like the name Gunner. Actually Gunner could care less.
Pushes son to not be girly, wonders why he won't pick up a baby like the daughter who was given a baby doll at birth to carry around. Goes overboard force-coaching his son to connect to a baby that has been asleep the entire day. Fundies, amiright?
Giddy-Up gets a hug from OfNostrils, not-tent. Austina says the baby is “small cute”, more non-tent. OfNostrils asks if the baby is taking a “Paci”, the non-tent continues. Austina pops in to remind us that it was her paci at one point but she’s a big girl now was going to start potty training. She seems super excited about it which is good because usually having a new baby in the house can cause regressions, but Austina's excitement might counteract that pretty well. OfNostrils goes to take her shower and we should finally have new footage from this point on the first half has been a mix of behind-the-scenes of previous footage and just filling in the blanks.
They will send them home and update the labs later, they hope.
No sooner does OfNostrils get settled in for her shower, the screen says “later” and they’re back at the hospital. Actually Gunner has some jaundice and needs to get labs done. They say he will be okay and we end up back at the McBeardsley cabin. The first thing is Nostrils has Giddy-Up in a swaddle that both he and Austina when they were little. Giddy-Up is done playing and is admonished by his mother to use his words. He says “please don’t”,as Austina jumps in. There is a lot of laughing and giggling as Actually Gunner sleeps away in J18’s arms on the other side of the living room. I is Austina’s turn to pretend to be a baby but not before Nostrils proclaims that the wrap stinks. OfNostrils explains that this is because it was in the storage box. I would hope that they're running it through the wash before they start using it for Actually Gunner. OfNostrils heads down the hallway towards where the children are making plenty of noise and smiles as she says it has rained all day and so the kids have been cooped up all day. Both kids are appropriately clothed covered up in beige sweatsuits, I blame Aunt J18. Perm is also there to help with the new baby, no wonder she got to Ra!s birth so late… Anyways, but OfNostrils feels great postpartum and has to keep reminding herself to sit down. But Perm and the J’Buddy Team goes home tomorrow and it will be their first full day with no help. They're having family come over and the weather is nice so it should be good. Whatever floats their boat. Gotta let Actually Gunner soak up his one week is the newest grand baby I guess. She stops to show us her “messy room”, but really the bed isn’t made and there’s a bassinet right next to it. Here we go with the “unreasonable expectations” and fake relatability shtick. “Life with baby” is chirped right on cue. She shows off her lack of bump, then says postpartum three times while looking in the full-length mirror. Did someone tell her that saying that would melt off the baby weight like a magic mirror, or is it just her new favorite word?
She almost called him \"Gun-Gun\", I swear.
Actually Gunner got clued in by Austina about the camera and stays asleep, while Giddy-Up traps Nostrils in his La-Z-Boy.
LiFe WiTh BaBy...tee hee hee
Guest Room is Fundie Speak for TV Room.
Anyways as she leaves her room, the TV room has Perm or Nostrils’ hunting show on, but Nostrils is putting the kids to bed. OfNostrils walks past Austina being swaddled while laughing, to where Giddy-Up is in his bed with his thumb in his mouth. OfNostrils scolds him, tells him his brother needs him to be a good example for him. Giddy-Up is probably thinking his baby brother sleeps too much to be able to pay attention. OfNostrils turns around to see Nostrils has successfully swaddled Austina and tells her she looks like “Baby Gunner”. This reminds OfNostrils that she has more non-tent to get. She suddenly remembers to ask if Giddy-Up said good night to his new baby brother. Giddy-Up jumps up, because No, they didn't as Nostrils lets Austina out of her swaddle and they run in to kiss the sleeping baby in their 14-year-old aunt’s arms. The captions do Actually Gunner when they change his name to “Connor”. Austina scampers off back to the bedroom, but Giddy-Up has to tell the Internet that he does in fact love his newborn baby brother who he has known for roughly a day. Giddy-Up seems tired, like he wants to go to bed. But wait, there’s more. Nostrils has come out to tell Giddy-Up that when Actually Gunner gets bigger, they will share a room. Giddy-Up seems okay with this news, until he learns that Austina will get her own room, to which he replies “and me too”. Maybe he is starting to wish he had another little sister so he could have his own room. Nostrils tells him to take a sip of water as OfNostrils tells him to go get in bed. Giddy-Up gives Nostrils a smack on the hind end as they walk down the hallway, and then Giddy-Up tells his dad they can play Superman. Nostrils says “what!?”, and now I wish I was back on the playground 30 years ago because I could have used that. The word Nostrils as a name goes really well in the “____-says-what” trick. The 90s were simpler time. Anyhoo, Austina is jumping on Giddy-Up’s bed, but Nostrils brings in the water bottle and does the toddler version of last call. Austina is ordered to her own bed where she asks to be wrapped up like a taco, but on the ground. Her negotiation is denied and she must stay in bed. OfNostrils comes over with the camera to tell Austina good night. Austina sees the camera and proceeds to crawl under her pillow. OfNostrils says “I love you. I will see you in the morning. Are you hiding?” Yeah, yeah she’s hiding. She didn’t have the camera in her face when you were at the hospital. Nostrils:The Next Generation, and Tru! learned something while their mothers were in labor and that was, except for an occasional FaceTime, their grandparents/aunts/whoever interacted with them in person didn’t constantly film them for content. To further prove my point, OfNostrils sticks the camera right up in on Nostrils hugging Giddy-Up. For someone so religious absolutely nothing is sacred to her is it?
Everyone wants to play being a baby, but only Giddy-Up gets scolded for his usual soothing method of sucking his thumb. Both McBeardsleys are leaning heavily on Actually Gunner to influence their kids' behavior
Anything would have been better than Gunner and the captions know it too.
Giddy-Up seems to have a very teammate relationship with Nostrils. Austina does Last Call
\"Mom, did Lolly every teach you the word \"P-R-I-V-A-C-Y\"? No? Greaaaat\"
The McBeardsley’s turn off the light and leave the kids bedroom, patting themselves on the back that their children love their new and how well they reacted to him. Well yeah everybody also took care of the baby so the McBeardsleys didn’t have any real change to their schedule, except company. Give it two weeks, when Actually Gunner needs fed and Giddy-Up throws a tantrum because Austina wants to read the book he has. They’re patting themselves on the back after successful 36 hours with two-three additional adult helpers. J18 counts as an adult here even though she just sat and held Actually Gunner like a sentient rocking chair. Nostrils does give her a shout out for helping, as OfNostrils closes window blinds and says they’re getting ready for bed. They say they love being a family of five, but we all know that will only last until the Lord tells them they will love being a family of six better. Perm fell for that one, I wonder how many of her children will.
Alright folks there we have it, Rimmy J's PR blitz It is through its first day, I wonder if J'Obnoxious James will have more of his European stuff to post, you know pay a skosh of rent on the Tontitown TreeHouse for the quarter. I suppose next week's non-tent from the Nostrils McBeardsleys will be when everybody came over to meet Actually Gunner Still James. As always, have a good day and a better tomorrow!

Any advice on hitting more bets on strike outs over / under? I’ve devolved a system of checking a pitchers k/g and the opposing teams strikeouts but right now it just feels like flipping a coin. I spend about two hours doing research for all the games and it doesn’t feel worth it if I can’t break over the 60 % mark. Anything would be helpful.