Funny shirt sayings

Hello fellow predators!
About a month ago I discovered SpacePaladin15 's story and then this place shortly after. After binge reading through every story I could find I still wasn't satisfied. So I started writing my own!
Shoutouts to rebelhero and Acceptable_Egg5560 for greenlighting some cross references that will come up later.
An extra special thanks goes to eager_question for their help brainstorming some cool plot stuff that will also come up later.
You don't need to have read their stories to understand mine, but you should read their stories. Cause they're cool n'shit.
Anyway...
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Memory transcription subject: Kimmich, Head of Exterminator Special Investigations, Starside, Venlil Prime.
Date [standardized human time]: October 17th 2136
It was always windy on Venlil Prime, how…
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….broken and still on the sandstone…
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…already asleep, propped up on…
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…32 kids and prou…
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WARNING, FREQUENT JUMPING IN MEMORY TIMELINE DURING PLAYBACK MAY RESULT IN ERRORS REQUIRING A RESET OF TRANSCRIPTION ARCHIVE…
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Memory transcription subject: Kimmich, Security Specialist and shuttle pilot for Hazardous Recovery 7
Date [standardized human time]: October 27th 2136 2:40 AM
‘…I did not raise Venmka and Sevkan to be this naive.’ I fumed as I pushed my way through the screen door separating the laundry room from the indoor greenhouse our host kept.
Even light years from home and lit only by bloody orange heatlamps, it was still nice to walk between healthy plants. Spaced throughout the room were rows of boxes bearing tall fruiting plants, racks of hanging vines heavy with clusters of yellow and green beans, and low trays of root vegetables ready for harvest. It reminded me of Tulma…
No, focus.
Of course I was sending reports of our stay here back to the office! This trip was an intelligence goldmine! If even half of the technology our oh so civilized host had invented was implemented into the UN’s military forces there would be no stopping them!
My paw traced the ridge of my right eye socket, a claw tracing the skin of my eyelid. I could feel the functionless silicon spacer that sat where my eye had been shift slightly under the pressure.
Bitterness rose up in my chest. ‘They went through all that trouble to keep him alive, and yet the Federation wouldn't clone me one single replacement eye because ‘medical resources are stretched thin on the front right now.’ Pfft. No one does a full eye replacement on a frontline.‘
‘Andre did offer to design something…’ No. I didn’t want to be indebted to this predator like that. Being forced to stay in his home through the winter was already enough of a strain on my nerves as it was.
I paused by the carbon fibre planters Vemnka and I had built a few days ago and shook some of the stress from my shoulders and tail. I leaned over and peered into the dirt. Two tiny leaf sprouts had begun to climb out of the rich soil, barely visible in the dull orange light. “A full harvest of ‘brussels sprouts’ in six weeks or less!” the seed package said. I angled my ears in irritation and moved towards the foggy windows.
I didn’t really believe he intended to feed us that long. After what had happened on the 17th and all that talk of his savage religious rituals it was only a matter of time before some loud noise or predatory demon vision compelled him to attack us. Erich didn’t...
NO. FOCUS.
I looked over the ridge of condensation that clung to the bay windows and into the dark yard. Small solar lanterns dotted the important features, highlighting the paths and furnishings. The contrast seemed to deepen the darkness between them somehow, and it lent the yard a strange alien fee-
A spot of bright red light reflected off the window, the source was right in the centre of my blindspot.
‘Laser sight!’
Trained reflexes took over, and In single a flash of movement I leapt, spun, drew my gun, and activated my own laser before landing in a shooting stance. The green dot of my laser sight lined up squarely… with Andre’s sternum.
He was sitting in one of the wicker chairs on the other side of the tomato cages, across the room from me and well out of pouncing range. Lit from behind by the pale blue moonlight I could see he had been reclining comfortably, looking at his tablet on the small coffee table in front of him. The glowing red tip of one of those burning sticks he enjoyed was hanging from his left hand, trailing smoke into the air.
‘It wasn’t a laser sight, it flared when he inhaled! He wasn’t even looking at me!’
I felt a surge of relief until I realized that he wasn’t looking at me.. because he was looking at the green dot I still had trained on his chest.
Andre looked up from the dot on his shirt and across the room. His terrifying binocular eyes flicked back and forth across the darkness until they locked with my lone eye and...
Without articulating ears or prehensile tails, humans had evolved an entire system of moving muscles in their faces to express things. It was unnerving to watch his entire appearance swim between snarls of sadness, betrayal, rage, before settling into a stone stillness that scared me more than any baring of teeth ever could.
I had seen it before, back in Starside. It was the look of someone who could see the burning napalm arcing towards them and knew they had nowhere to go. 'Never my job to pull the trigger, but they always trusted where I told them to aim…'
Seconds passed, and neither of us moved. My paws began to shake, the laser dot wobbled on his chest, but his eyes were still locked onto me. ‘Make this as easy as it’s supposed to be dammit! lunge at me! Growl! Bare your teeth! Something!’
“Well?” He said, his clipped tone shattering the silence. “You gonna to take the shot or not, Kemmich?”
“What are you doing out here?” I demanded.
“Smoking. Also, it’s my house.” He said, his voice now flat and expressionless, before bringing the stick in his left hand up to his lips and inhaling.
The burning tip flared again, the unkind colour casting a sinister light over the carbon black mechanical arm he held it in. He pointed it at my gun with his other hand, a mirror image of its twin.
“Shoot me already.” Smoke curled up from his lips and nose as he spoke. “Drill two of those coilgun slugs right right through my centre mass. I’m a nice, stationary target. Just like Tokyo, or Montreal, or Berlin.”
I suppressed a flinch at the mention of those names. Cities reduced to rubble and glass by the Federation’s extermination fleet barely a week ago. All three places Andre had lost people. ‘Why is he goading me like this? Wait, that sounded practiced. Oh speh, he anticipated this!’
Determination steadied my aim, until Andre slammed his empty hand down on the coffee table and bolted upright. The impact knocked his tablet to the floor. He didn’t notice.
“A billion and a half wasn’t quite enough for you people, eh?” He said, venom starting to bubble in his voice.
“The Ven-” I started.
“Not the Venlil! You! And people like you!” He had gone from venom to shouting as he spoke. It was loud enough that Vemnka or Sevkan had to have heard it. Good, they needed to see this. To see what their silly sentiments towards these poor misunderstood meat-eaters actually-
“You killed Erich, didn’t you? With that stupid big iron I let you wear around my house.” My heart started to race, my train of thought totally derailed.
“No! How could you say that!?”
“All I got was a bag of ashes and your word for it, Kim. You and your fucking cronies torched him then scraped what was left into a bag so you had an excuse to come here and finish the job yourself, didn’t you? Had to follow it back to it’s den and burn out the nest to be sure, right?”
I may as well have killed him... And the three of us now too. “No! We told you why we came here…” I trailed off weakly.
Andre had been advancing as we spoke, and it wasn’t until he was barely a metre away that I noticed how bright the laser dot on his chest suddenly was in the surrounding darkness.
“Then why are you still pointing your gun at me?”
Before I could formulate an answer, his arms lashed out. In a blur of motion my gun was slapped from my paw and two black mechanical hands wrapped themselves around my head. I tried to draw a breath and scream for help, but all I tasted was ash…
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It's getting to that round where it starts to be really difficult to see a difference between some of these players. In the late rounds, a lot of players are peaking and despite having previous matches, these player's form throughout different stages of the season and even throughout different seasons can vary widely so these are brand new contests. In any event, I'm ready to be wrong. Quick shoutout to the top 5 in each one of DC's contests :

ATP Bracket Contest : blurryturtle, unpleasant, 5grand8to1, noomuam, Diego2305
WTA Bracket Contest : TehoInBug, noomuam (going for the double, nice!), Belle23, Dikkeduece, unpleasant (another double hopeful)
Odds Comp : blurryturtle, Goldenboy8401, thiago1314, oompa87, DC writer Gillioni

ATP Singles :

Muchova vs Pavlyuchenkova :

Getting engaged at someone else’s wedding is poor form. Wearing the same shirt as your friend to a party is hilarious, but also considered a faux pas. Somewhere in between those two fouls is whatever is going on here. Just when Muchova has rediscovered her best form, Pavlyuchenkova has done the same. Both are playing tremendous, but the spotlight and the story is going to be pilfered by one of these two big hitters. The odds for Muchova here are -170 and I think that’s pretty accurate. Their previous meeting in 2021 was in Madrid and went to two tiebreakers. Pavlyuchenkova won those but I think she’s the underdog in this one. Both players are capable of hitting the ball huge, but Muchova’s straight set dismissal of Avanesyan was really impressive. Avanesyan is a wall but Muchova’s power off both wings really was effective. This is a day match so we can expect the ball to be moving fairly quickly; this take legs out of the equation a bit, but even so Muchova will be the fresher player.
There isn’t really a hole in Pavlyuchenkova’s game, and the same can be said for Karolina so there’s not a clear plan for either to really utilize. This is the first in a series of ridiculously good matches, because we’re at the stage of the tournament where everyone is playing at or near their peak. Expecting tiebreakers here and a very close match. Muchova in 3.

Svitolina vs Sabalenka :

Sabalenka had things under control against Sloane Stephens, up 5-0 in the first set. Somehow, she found herself in a tiebreak. That’s the sort of variance that was a hallmark of Aryna’s game in the past, but recently she’s settled into a good focused patch so it’s interesting to see her struggling a bit. Stephens is tremendous with her movement and ballstriking, but that type of lapse with a lead is something you can’t afford against Sabalenka’s next opponent. Elina Svitolina has to feel great to be back in the quarterfinals of a major. It’s an incredible feat for any athlete to compete at the professional level after having a baby, and she’s looking like a contender for her second title in only her second match back. Kasatkina and Svitolina played a ton of good quality rallies, and in the end it was Svitolina’s ability to hit through the court that gave her an edge. Kasatkina had to look to outlast her and it took many more shots for her each rally to finally score a winner. When Svitolina was able to reset to neutral with a big swing or a deep lob, it really felt like a heavy change in momentum. I’d have Sabalenka -300 against Kasatkina, but Svitolina’s power makes her a different challenge.
Sabalenka opened around -428 against Svitolina, which feels a bit inflated to me. Svitolina has a pretty decent serve, and a ton of experience. Their previous meeting went to three sets (2020 in Strasbourg), and though Sabalenka is a much better player now, she has had some difficult sets in this tournament against much weaker players. Stephens isn’t going to counter-punch as aggressively as Svitolina, and the marathon rallies against Kasatkina have her in solid form. Sabalenka is the frontrunner, but given her first set against Shymanovich and Stephens there is a decent chance this could wind up in a third. It’s funny how things change from round to round. After Rakhimova/Sabalenka I thought Aryna was basically going to reach the finals, but after the Stephens match I’m not sure she will keep the ball between the lines long enough to beat Svitolina. Svitolina is really adept at putting the extra ball into play and she’s on a 9 match win streak, including the Strasbourg title. Sabalenka is fresh off her first major title and she won the title in Madrid. Probably going to get some pushback on this but I think Svitolina pushes this into a third and I think she’ll be the more focused player if it gets there. Svitolina in 3.

ATP Singles :

Djokovic vs Khachanov :

Like the cartoons that play before a movie, Djokovic Alcaraz is about to begin. Karen Khachanov is quietly cruising through this draw, including a fourth round win against Lorenzo Sonego where Khachanov just met every single defensive challenge presented. Similar to Ruud, Khachanov just doesn’t miss the court very much, and his physical strength is off the charts. He has a huge serve, and his match on clay last year with Djokovic went to a third set. Yet the odds for this match have been set at -2500. That price is basically saying “pls do not bet”, and it’s good advice. Djokovic’s record this year is 24-4, so the random losses are prevalent enough to make his astronomical prices a less than profitable endeavor anyway. Still, Khachanov being considered an afterthought is both absurd, and accurate.
Djokovic had a safe fourth round against Juan Pablo Varillas, who is incredibly steady but not particularly dangerous to Djokovic. He doesn’t serve big enough to pressure Novak into errors, and playing Djokovic for the first time is difficult since the workload out on the court is something you have to experience to be prepared for. The greats look playable on tv, but when you’re out there and they’re just not missing it can get frustrating very quickly. Credit to Varillas, he gave the crowd a good show, but he just couldn’t hurt Djokovic. Khachanov can, and can’t. Karen’s serve is almost big enough for him to hold serve. They’re playing a day match, so the ball will at least be moving at a normal pace even in the slow conditions. Khachanov’s backhand is really consistent and he can take the ball down the line with pace, but he telegraphs his forehand a bit so Djokovic should be okay defensively. I don’t think this will be as one-sided as the odds suggest, because Khachanov can hang in long rallies and doesn’t make a ton of unforced errors. He has a poor record against Djokovic (who doesn’t), but familiarity with an opponent does let you compete at your best in a big-time situation. Khachanov is becoming a gatekeeper for the semis and finals of majors, but unfortunately Novak is a resident. Should be the closest match Djokovic has had yet, but with his elbow issue seemingly gone, there’s not a clear path to beat him. I expect Khachanov’s solid play will net him one set if Djokovic’s level lapses or errors abound, but that’s probably as good as it gets. Djokovic in 4.

Alcaraz vs Tsitsipas :

These are the only two players whose games are not affected by the night-time conditions, so it’s fitting that they’ll be playing the last match of the day. Carlos Alcaraz is scary good. Musetti came into their match playing lights-out tennis and had just straight setted Cam Norrie, genuinely making him look like a lower tier player. Halfway through the first set, it was clear that he could barely win a game against Alcaraz. Carlos’s defense and consistency are just off the charts. When his opponent leaves the ball short or doesn’t hit with pace himself, Alcaraz is hitting the ball right past them. His inside-out forehand in the fourth round was frighteningly quick, leaving Musetti standing still on numerous occasions. If you’re even competing even from the baseline, you then have to deal with his dropshots, which are varied and accurate. Every single point you win against him requires effort and accuracy, and there are only 3 matches between him and his first Roland Garros title so he doesn’t have to conserve or budget his energy output at this point.
Before their match in Barcelona, Tsitsipas represented an intriguing challenge for Alcaraz. He has a great serve and a huge forehand, so Alcaraz’s defenses were set to be test. He proved very capable though, and coming into this match it’s unclear where Tsitsipas can hurt Alcaraz. In the slightly colder night conditions Alcaraz will have more time defend, and Tsitsipas’ backhand is still a liability. With Carlos’ backhand improving almost constantly this season, the cross-court exchanges are likely to favor Alcaraz. Since Tsitsipas’s main issue on his backhand is lack of depth, it’s likely that he’ll see a healthy dose of dropshots. Stefanos is fast enough to run these down, but over the course of the match I think Alcaraz’s power and variety will make a big difference. It’s hard to just completely write someone as good as Tsitsipas off, but he has holes in his game that he needs to fix before he wins a major title, and Alcaraz is currently the level necessary to win one. One thing I do expect from this match is that Tsitsipas will play regardless of the scoreline. Should be a close but somewhat one-sided affair. Alcaraz in 3.

Our minimally verbal (functional language so making requests, asking and answering questions, responding to 1 and 2 step requests but not telling stories and not conversational) 4 year old daughter doesn't understand danger (thinks it's a funny game to run away from us when we say stop) or germs (thinks it's fine to eat food that fell on the floor and even stuck her hand in the toilet the other day because one of the pieces of toilet paper she was dropping in there didn't land the way she wanted it to).
I want her to understand the danger of running out onto the road (ie, getting hot by a car) and getting sick from eating dirty food or touching unsanitary things... But I also don't want to traumatize her (eg, make her scared to be outside or about going to the toilet).
Any tips on how to introduce these ideas to kids who have limited language skills? Thanks in advance.

So recently I (19f) met a guy (21m) on a dating app. He’s really sweet and we’ve clicked very quickly. Perhaps a little too quickly? We’ve been talking regularly for about 3 weeks, and recently we’ve started texting a lot, like A LOT. We’ve called and he’s very sweet. But I feel like he might just be too much. He’s constantly complementing me, calling me cute, funny, beautiful, anything under the sun. He also asks for a lot of pictures. Nothing sexual in nature, but just of what I’m doing or of what I look like. And I mean he asks A LOT! Like multiple times a day, multiple times an hour. I can understand wanting to see someone’s face, especially if you’re pursing them. But it worries me a little because he doesn’t send many in return. I’m okay sending a few when I want to, but how do I ask him why he wants so many? Or rather how do I tell him I’m not comfortable sending so many? He also talks a lot about how much he can see a future or see this going places. But I feel I just don’t know him well enough to take these complements or future endeavors seriously. Is he being serious? Why is he saying these things so quickly? Has he already created an image of who I am when he doesn’t really know me? I don’t have the most experience with dating, but I really do think he’s sweet. I want to continue talking to him but I’m worried he’s taking thing too fast or expecting something unrealistic. How do I address this with him? Or is this something that should deter me from continuing this?
Ps. In the time span of writing this he has sent me a message complementing me and expressing how happy he is to have met me. Someone please help me I don’t know what to do?

So funny story. Did a 3 hour drive to make a dealer trade so we can sell this truck tomorrow. I have never done a dealer trade before. My manager comes up to me and essentially spoonfed the deal which is besides the point but i had no idea what this deal was or what the moving parts were. He just said I’m going to trade the truck for a deal tomorrow. It was a 80 mile drive. I go to the dealer, I go inside and tell the sales manager I got a dealer trade. He says ok cool let me see what truck. I hand him the paperwork and after they look over the truck i brought and they hand me the keys to the trade truck. So now im driving back in the traded truck and I go to the wrong dealer first because siri fucked up. Tell my manager i wont be back in time before close and he said its fine ur an idiot but its fine, bring the truck to the dealer tomorrow. Ok I get home 30 min ago and im double checking i got the key for the trade truck and then I feel an extra set of keys. Its the keys for the truck i left.
you think they’ll crucify me? Ive been at this dealer for 2 1/2 weeks, my first time doing a dealer trade and it was a total shit show. If you were a manager what would you do? Was I suppose to leave the keys in the car? Were they suppose to ask because I was told they shouldn’t have to ask for the keys. Now I just feel like an idiot sandwich. Pls help me guys hahaha

Started taking hairloss med for my hairline that was receding a little but not too much. It's been 6 months, my hairline stopped receding and it's even growing back, but it gave me tiny man booobs.
I feel like im so fucked. Im fairly skinny so i cant mask it as me just being fat. Im conscious about it and feel like other dudes would notice.
I think ill just say i dont want to take off my shirt during sex but dont know how that would work.

So I originally posted about making Meularas Oddities sell "for fun items like a bag of beans, but then decided to add a quest for her that could do something with the hetch warehouse. The following is a revision of this fleshed out with the added side quest.
As the party of adventurers steps into Meularas Oddities, the bells above the door jingle merrily, filling the air with a sense of anticipation. Shelves adorned with trinkets and odd contraptions surround them, catching their attention. Meulara, the mischievous kender shopkeeper, stands behind the counter, her eyes dancing with mischief.
Noticing the party's arrival, Meulara swiftly finishes locking away a few items in a cabinet behind her. With a mischievous grin, Meulara turns to the party and begins her sales pitch in her characteristic kender voice. "Welcome, welcome, my adventurous friends! Are you in search of a laugh, a jolly good time, or perhaps something utterly absurd? Look no further! Feast your eyes upon the wonders of Meularas Oddities!" She reaches under the counter and begins to produce small trinkets. "Ah, my curious friends, I have just the thing for you. Feast your eyes upon these marvelous little trinkets!"
One by one, Meulara offers the party a series of seemingly insignificant objects. There's a copper bell that promises to summon a crowd or a cat, a tiny wooden figurine of a dancing gnome with impressive footwork, a pocket-sized telescope that allows one to see distant objects up close, a jar filled with glowing fireflies to light up the night, and a small pouch that always seems to produce a single piece of candy when needed. (Or roll on the trinket table for this part)
After the final trinket has been presented, Meulara leans closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Now, my friends, if these aren't interesting enough for you, I have a proposition for you. A rogue wizard has just recently stolen something from my shop - a wand. I don't know much about it, but I'd wager I could've sold it for some fair steel. He's currently hiding in the abandoned Hetch warehouse not too far from here. I've tried going to the town guard, but they don't seem too interested in retrieving something that was stolen from a kender for some reason... they said it was probably already stolen, but Kender do not steal. Retrieve the wand, and I'll make you a special offer on my truly extraordinary items from my special cabinet."
Meulara's eyes sparkle with anticipation as she continues, "Be cautious, though. The warehouse has fallen into disrepair, and the rogue wizard has made it his lair. He's crafty and unpredictable."
The adventurers make their way to where the abandoned Hetch warehouse stands, shrouded in an eerie silence. The once bustling hub of activity now exudes an aura of mystery and neglect. The building is in disrepair, and it is overgrown with vines. Wooden boards creak as the party approaches, their footsteps echoing in the empty surroundings.
Entering the dimly lit warehouse, the party is greeted by stacks of forgotten crates, spiderwebs glistening in the corners, and a thick layer of dust covering the floor. The air feels heavy with anticipation.
Suddenly, a figure emerges from the darkness, his long, tattered robes swirling around him. The rogue wizard locks eyes with the party, a sly smile curling his lips. "Ah, intruders. What a perfect opportunity to test the capabilities of my new wand," he sneers, his voice filled with malicious delight.
Unbeknownst to the party, the wizard had cast an alarm spell on the door and was ready to attack with surprise.
With a flick of his hand, the rogue wizard conjures crackling lightning, directing it towards the adventurers. The bolt sizzles through the air, narrowly missing its mark but illuminating the warehouse in a brilliant flash. The rogue wizard's laughter echoes through the room as he revels in his power. He unleashes a second spell, a burst of energy intended to cripple his opponents.
To his surprise and horror, as the spell leaves the wand, it abruptly backfires. A surge of magical energy envelops the rogue wizard, causing him to convulse and stiffen. Stunned, he stands frozen and begins exclaiming, "Wow, marvelous! Simply amazing!"
In his confused state, the rogue wizard believes that something incredible has happened. He is convinced that the wand has granted him unimaginable power. He starts describing how he feels an indescribable surge of energy coursing through his veins, how his senses have become heightened to an extraordinary degree, and how he is now able to see the fabric of reality itself.
With the threat neutralized, the adventurers retrieve the wand and discover it is actually a wand of wonder. They then make their way back to Meularas Oddities. The kender shopkeeper's eyes sparkle with delight as they return, victorious.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Meulara exclaims, her voice tinged with mirth. "You've managed to reclaim the wand, and in such a spectacular fashion too! Truly remarkable. I wasn't sure if you be able to pull it off, that wizard is tricky you know. "You see, he asked me to see the wand, claiming he was interested in purchasing it. But as soon as I turned away for a moment, poof! He vanished into thin air, leaving behind this funny coin." Meulara reaches under the counter and retrieves a peculiar coin, engraved with odd symbols, and says "it's not like any currency I've ever seen so i figured he must have tried to trick me by leaving this funny trinket and stole my wand.
The party members gaze at the coin, their eyes widening with astonishment. They recognize its immense worth and the opportunities it presents.
One of the adventurers speaks up, their voice filled with awe. "Meulara, this coin is not just a funny trinket. It's made of platinum, a precious metal that is highly sought after. It holds significant value, far beyond its weight. This is a small fortune!"
Meulara's eyes widen in surprise and excitement. "Oh, my goodness! I never would have guessed. I mistook the situation entirely. That tricky wizard never intended to steal the wand from me. He left this platinum coin as payment.
The party members exchange glances, realizing the true nature of the misunderstanding, and Meulara's expression shifts to one of contemplation. She ponders for a moment before addressing the party once more.
"My friends," she begins, her voice tinged with a mix of seriousness and determination, "I believe it is only fair that we return this wand to the wizard who left behind this valuable coin. It seems he never intended to steal from me but had a different motive altogether. Let us find him and make amends."
With a renewed sense of purpose, the adventurers agree to accompany Meulara on this quest. Together, they set off to locate the elusive wizard, their footsteps resonating with determination.
After a brief search, they finally track down the rogue wizard, who stands before them with a mix of surprise and curiosity. Meulara steps forward, holding out the wand to him. "We have come to return what you left behind, dear wizard," she says, her voice filled with sincerity.
The wizard's eyes widen as he recognizes the wand. He extends a hand, motioning for them to keep it. "No, no, my friends," he says, his tone surprisingly earnest. "I have discovered the true nature of this wand. It is far too unpredictable for my tastes. It backfired on me once, and I realized that its powers are too volatile. I believe it has found more deserving owners in you."
The adventurers exchange puzzled glances, astonished by the unexpected turn of events. The wizard continues, his voice filled with a newfound wisdom. "You have proven your worth and resourcefulness by retrieving the wand. It is yours now, and I trust that you will handle its power with caution and bravery."
Meulara's eyes sparkle with a mix of gratitude and relief. "Thank you, kind wizard," she says. "We accept this gift with humility and will wield its power responsibly."
And so, the wand remains in the hands of the adventurers, a symbol of their triumph and the trust bestowed upon them by the wizard. They bid farewell to the enigmatic spellcaster, knowing that they now possess a truly extraordinary and unpredictable artifact.
Returning to Meularas Oddities, the kender shopkeeper once again gets a twinkle in her eye. "Well, well, well, my dear adventurers," she exclaims, her voice filled with mirth. "It seems the wand has found its true owners after all. Embrace its magic and continue your adventures with caution and wonder." Now as promised, for all your trouble, I'll show you my special items for sale. With a flourish, Meulara unlocks the glass case, revealing the assortment of extraordinary items. "How about a Bag of Beans, known to produce unpredictable results when planted; the Sovereign Glue, which could stick just about anything together; and the Dust of Sneezing and Choking, guaranteed to elicit laughter and pranks."
However, Meulara had more up her sleeve. She motioned toward some more special items, carefully guarded behind the glass case. "Ah, but wait, my dear adventurers! If you seek something truly extraordinary, I have a few select oddities that might catch your fancy."
She pointed to an Immovable Rod, explaining its ability to freeze in space and serve as a steadfast anchor. Nearby was a set of Nolzur's Marvelous Pigments, promising to bring life to the imaginations of artists and pranksters alike. And next to those, an Alchemy Jug awaited, ready to produce an assortment of liquids, from harmless drinks to more eccentric concoctions.
Meulara's eyes gleamed with excitement. "But wait, there's more! Behold, the Oil of Slipperiness! Perfect for evading enemies or causing hilarious slips and slides.
And so, the story continues, the adventurers armed with the unpredictable wand and an array of extraordinary oddities from Meularas Oddities, ready to face the challenges that lie ahead.

Gonna write a 10-page essay for 2 comments and a 33% upvote rate but whatever
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It's true.
The Ace Attorney fanbase is generally more analytically intelligent than most other visual novel fanbases, so it's very disappointing to see so many people lulled by AAI2's cheap parlor tricks while failing to grasp the beauty of AAI. Truly the biggest L for this subreddit.
Let's start with the overarching story: AAI is about an international smuggling ring, and AAI2 is about a man who tricks people into committing murder. That alone should dictate which game is better, but everyone seems to love Simon Keyes because of how random and unpredictable the twist was. I fail to see why the smuggling ring is so slept-on; perhaps it's too realistic or down-to-earth and the community would rather have a final villain plotting to steal the moon? But more on that later.
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AAI has the biggest cases of "Seinfield is unfunny" in the series, because AAI2 is an unofficial translation and thus more accessible to people. On the other hand, AAI is only available as a DS cartridge (rather expensive), the only game not available on the 3DS eshop or Steam. Of course most people played AAI2 before AAI. SO MANY things got ruined by AAI2. I honestly think this is one of the reasons AAI2 did not get a localization.
Let's see some of the highlights:
The Great Thief Yagatarasu - Hit the hardest by this. Kay Faraday parading around the fact that she is the Yagatarasu in AAI2 is vastly different from her doing the same in Kidnapped and Ablaze. In AAI, starting from the first case, the Yagatarasu is this mysterious thief that supposedly has a lot of intel on the smuggling ring and we only get to see his silhouette and calling card. And don't forget his theme, Yagatarasu - The Gentleman Thief, which really does set the mood and fit him perfectly during the fleeting moments it plays. Kay only pretended to be the thief in two cases. I think the scarcity of the Yagatarasu appearances is what really makes the reveal so intriguing.
Yeah, and the final reveal: be honest here. The twist of it being Byrne, Calisto and Badd would have hit much harder on everyone's first playthrough of AAI without knowing anything from AAI2. What really dampens the Yatagarasu is the fact that he is brought up too many times by Kay in AAI2 (and even just her soundtrack name). Also the fact that the Yagatarasu calling card is the inverted version of the smuggling ring leader's instruction cards, to send a message that the Yagatarasu was only a few steps behind the ringleader, was absolutely brilliant and a much better last-minute twist than anything else the series ever came up with.
Calisto Yew/Shih-na - She was with Lang for his first appearance, and every consecutive one. That's what made her reveal so impactful. After AAI2 came along, she was just another one-off character. To be honest, the twist that she was Calisto Yew was completely unexpected, although maybe I should have realized beforehand. I also think the way she is finally cornered is pretty awesome. Setting alight the coat to reveal the Bahbalese ink burning green, pretty symbolic of her smuggling acts finally brought to light.
Shi-Long Lang character development - I'm surprised how no one mentions this. It's on the same level as Sebastian's development, and I think the only reason it's so slept-on is because in AAI2, the cases are normally so dull that you have no other choice but to focus on the characters, while AAI Lang shares the stage with the rest of the plot. The way he goes from respectfully hating on prosecutors as a super serious officer to "Lang Zi says: ...just go already!" and supporting Edgeworth in his trial after the credits is super awesome. Him getting fired from Interpol is worse than Yuri Cosmos getting demoted after Turnabout For Tomorrow in terms of discomfort food. I feel like the way Lang is introduced in AAI2 really does discredit all his character development in AAI.
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Now let's compare all aspects of each game:
Case 1 (general): Visitor > Target. Visitor is the most underrated case in the series, and Target is a 3-hour long snooze-fest. Target is a case 1 yet fails to be an intro case and thus is not good, that's what it boils down to.
Case 1 (witnesses): Visitor == Target. Visitor brought back Maggey who is one of the blandest characters in the series, but Target's defendant wasn't any better. Target also managed to fumble de Killer's appearance into a very boring confrontation, so they are about tied.
Case 1 (culprit, single-case): Portsman > Knightley. The prosecutorial interactions were much more fun than that overconfident bodyguard.
Example --
Portsman: It's a possibility. Maybe your salary's been cut so much that life is getting a little too rough to handle...?
Gumshoe: I'll have you know that I eat three square meals every day, pal! ...OK, so all three of them happen to be instant noodles, but...
Portsman: Poor thing. What an evil prosecutor you were paired up with. And what a motive, no?
Case 1 (culprit, whole game): Knightley > Portsman. Sure. The case 1 culprit can have a huge impact on the overarching story. Knightley was one of the better plotwise characters of AAI2.
Case 2 (general): Airlines > Imprisoned. Airlines just edges out Imprisoned slightly, but I admit Imprisoned is the only AAI2 case that deserves all the praise it gets. But I think the twists and turns were just a bit better for Airlines, especially the final Logic flashback segment as Lablanc slowly fell over the railing.
Case 2 (witnesses): Airlines > Imprisoned. Zinc Lablanc carries the entire case, like Luke Atmey did. Rhoda Teneiro was also cool. Jay Elbird and Frank Sahwit can't compare, and even Keyes' performance in this case, even knowing that he manipulated Knightley's death, doesn't quite reach Airlines' level of beautiful simplicity here. Dogen was just a plot device in this episode.
Case 2 (culprit, single-case): Meele == Roland. Both had godawful motives and mild characters.
Case 2 (culprit, whole game): Roland > Meele. Of course, because Roland got a whole other backstory while Meele stayed the same.
Case 3 (general): Inherited > Kidnapped. Yeah, alright. Who knew that letting you play as Gregory Edgeworth in the events leading up to DL-6 would be more interesting for the audience than actually coming up with an original idea? F for effort, I guess.
Case 3 (witnesses): Inherited > Kidnapped. Mainly because Ema Skye was absolutely useless in Kidnapped. Lauren Paups was also pretty bad. Inherited only had some meh witnesses, nothing outstanding, but still better than Kidnapped.
Case 3 (culprit, single-case): Gustavia > Lance. Well, yeah. Lance did kill only in self defense, while Gustavia and Dover had a whole storyline going. I feel like Kidnapped was meant to be a breath of fresh air from the constant murder grind, like Stolen. Too bad neither case ended up being great.
Case 3 (culprit, whole game): Lance > Gustavia. Well, not quite Lance himself, but the effect it had by prompting Ernest Amano to forge evidence, get caught and questioned, and give up the evidence to the KG-8 incident was pretty impactful. Gustavia, while the first of many things that ticked off Keyes, was also the only part of his story that wasn't really carefully intertwined with anything else.
Case 4 (general): Reminiscence == Forgotten. Interestingly, the one case everyone seems to like in AAI is actually not that great, all things considered. Forgotten was a very slow case with boring investigation sequences all around, but Reminiscence had terrible character interactions and was paced horribly.
Case 4 (witnesses): Reminiscence > Forgotten. Detective Badd blows everyone else out of the water. The Judge was alright, and Gumshoe was pretty subpar. But still, better than whatever AAI2 was trying to do with Lotta Hart and Nicole Swift.
Case 4 (culprit, single-case): Calisto == Blaise. I can't really say one was better than the other. Calisto's double murder and escape managed to top the previous 3-4 for "best loose end", but Blaise was no slouch either.
Case 4 (culprit, whole game): Calisto > Blaise. Doesn't need an explanation.
Now for the opinion that will get me downvoted. Turnabout Ablaze is a better case than The Grand Turnabout, both as a finale and in general.
Firstly, Colias Palaeno was a better final plot device character than John Marsh. Palaeno was introduced as this very suspicious character, only to later become the most helpful witness in the entire series, and the only person who didn't lie, ever. Despite overdoing his coupon-dealing gimmick, it never really got old or tedious. And come on, he was just a cool guy all around. His interactions with Alba were also very interesting considering the history between their countries. Palaeno is the perfect example of how to write a compelling plot device character.
On the other hand, John Marsh never really made an impact and his edgy teenager persona was just meh. Him refusing to take revenge on Dogen in the end was cool, but he was still not as good a character overall. His kidnapping was mainly to develop Courtney's character, but even she was not that interesting in the end. And his twist of being the president's son was very underwhelming, if I'm being honest.
Every case 5 is traditionally the resolution of two different murders. For AAI, it was Ka-Shi Nou murdered in the Allebahstian embassy, and Manny Coachen murdered in the Bahbalese embassy on the same night. For AAI2, it was the body double's murder out of the blue and the real president's murder 12 years ago. Surely Ablaze has a much better premise already.
Ablaze is a very symmetrical, well-organized case with the themes of duality. Allebahst has strict migration laws and an old army general as the ambassador, who appears to be a kindly old man. Bahbal is a very lax tourist country with a young advertising ambassador who is suspiciously cheerful. And yet, Ambassador Alba is the villain behind the smuggling ring while Ambassador Palaeno is hopelessly clueless about his secretary Coachen. I really like the dynamic amongst the characters here. Even Coachen gets characterization from Palaeno's relationship with him and sadness at his death.
Honestly, I thought the premise of the country split in two was a very intriguing setup. Even for people who aren't super interested in history-esque topics, the case should provide a novel setting. The competition to see which embassy had the legitimate statue, the goodwill ambassadorship involving the Steel Samurai, the reuniting of Cohdopia, everything really felt like something big and exciting was happening.
How many people actually played Ablaze fully? I bet half the people who hate on Turnabout Ablaze here don't even know that the embassy was set on fire in the case. They only watched Alba's breakdown, went on the wiki to find out the two victims, and called it a day before formulating their opinion. They missed out on everything, like the safe-opening puzzle and the secret of the Yagatasaru key/"knife", and figuring out how the two statues and the body got transported between the embassies.
Unlike Ablaze's very uniform and straightforward setup, The Grand Turnabout is just a speed-rap of a case with very sporadic events that feel like it's just thrown at you randomly so you never get bored of one single topic. So right after exposing Blaise as the killer, you find the president of Zheng Fa is murdered. You go to question someone, but she is currently judging Roland's trial for the murder of Knightley. Then Blaise turns out to not get in any trouble for what happened in Forgotten. Then Marsh gets kidnapped and you decide to join the trial and help Sebastian. He then runs away and you stall for time until Marsh is found and Sebastian comes back and proves that Blaise tampered with evidence. So he gets arrested after all and Roland is guilty. Then you get a mysterious radio call telling you to go to an orphanage, where you find out that the real president (along with some other guy) was killed there 12 years ago. With a very tedious Little Thief investigation sequence. Now you trace back who called you on the radio and pin every single crime in the game onto him. And Dogen helped, a bit. The end.
There were zero compelling aspects of the case. It feels like the case was entirely written to showcase character development for half the cast, and the actual plot points are half-assed and not bothered with. The final reveal is just a cheap cop-out by going "oh actually A and B are connected. Wow!". I feel like The Grand Turnabout is actually the worst-written case of AAI2 in terms of sheer writing. Every event is random until the final reveal. The way the events proceed is also very weird and feels very unpolished. The investigation drags on way longer than Alba's confrontation does. No way people like this mess of a case more than Ablaze just because it has more rewarding/overstimulating moments at times and uses shock value.
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It's funny that AAI has the overarching plot be straightforward and each individual case have its twists and turns, while AAI2 is the exact opposite. Each case basically feels like the game just leads you along a long, drawn-out and boring path to the answer while the actual overarching plot is this convoluted, improbable steaming mess of a story.
I really don't think Keyes was all that special. Sure, there were minute hints scattered throughout the game before he is revealed to be the mastermind. Sure, he had a compelling motive. But in the end, it all boils down to "oh remember all that? well, the major twist is that they are connected!". Just a weak cop-out finale that manages to be flashy enough to woo half the audience. But what I really dislike about Keyes is the way he was caught. I personally think that final villains should try to not get caught. Keyes was so cocky that he was toying with Edgeworth on purpose. Kidnapping Kay and John, teasing Edgeworth over the radio, he basically flew too close to the sun and paid the price. Alba, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with Edgeworth or the rest of the cast.
I think half of what makes a compelling villain is how they try to avoid being caught. Alba managed to stay low and avoid detection for 10 years, while still running the smuggling ring. His confrontations felt very calm and collected, and just overall very professional at maintaining his innocence. Unlike Keyes who just keeps laughing at you and mocking you. Sure, both characters had high egos, but bottom line: Keyes got too cocky from a few successful manipulations while Alba maintained his confidence in his position which he has decades of experience in.
Yes, Alba was very stubborn and makes the final fight drag on, but that should be a good thing for his character. Shows he is very experienced and well-prepared for law enforcement. Honestly, my one complaint is that his fight didn't drag on even longer; I think that him losing his ambassadorship was a bit too easy and he should have put up more of a fight regarding that. People say Alba was too generically evil, but I think that he is actually unique in the way that he is the first pure villain as afinal villain. Remember, von Karma and Gant were not full-time criminals; they were law enforcement who killed once and then were caught trying to cover up their crime. Engarde was an actor who only cared about publicity. Godot was, well, not exactly a criminal. Gavin was a lawyer who did anything to win his case and held grudges. Up until then, we never had a professional criminal as a final villain until Alba. Taking someone like him down should be expected to be difficult, long and tedious. Also his breakdown was much more rewarding than Keyes' getting beat up by animals, mostly because Keyes kinda deserved more than that. If Keyes had been punished harder, his breakdown might have been more satisfying than Alba's, to be fair.
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AAI also has a better soundtrack than AAI2, and you can fight me on that. AAI2 may have some earwormy tracks, but it's like this: AAIs soundtrack actually sounds like it was composed for the game. Tracks like the Yagatarasu's theme (not Kay, the actual Yagatarasu) and Torn Apart Countries fit the mood and set the grandiose atmosphere perfectly. AAI2s soundtrack is just the artist taking a picture of the character, showing it to a composer, and going "make a theme for him". The Man Who Masterminds the Game may be more catchy than The Enemy Who Surpasses the Law, but the latter definitely suits its respective character and confrontation as a whole more. And I just gotta appreciate a fitting theme more than an earwormy one.
Honestly, Objection 2009 was better than Objection 2011 just because it felt so much more satisfying in a calm, procedural manner, like "Okay, so we figured this out. Make a mental note of this for later". Objection 2011 is a TV-show opening for Edgeworth. It might be very catchy, but I honestly think it doesn't fit a single moment in which it is played and is just an overstimulation.
Also I will get ostracized for saying this, but Lying Coldly was a perfect take on how a pursuit theme for Edgeworth would sound, that Wanting to Find the Truth completely ruined in favor of sounding more like a generic pursuit theme. It may be a good song, but it has none of the charm that Lying Coldly had.
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AAI2s translation team, to be honest, did a pretty bad job. (Preface: yes I know criticism like this is mean and uncalled for but since AAI2 isn't even their game, I think it is fair to criticize their take on it after they imposed themselves onto Capcom's game.)
Let's start with the voicelines. Sebastian Debeste's voice actor was the only one who did a good job. Everyone else's voices were way too "high-quality sound" to fit AAs theme. Like, especially ProZDs take on Gregory Edgeworth, who sounds like a 20 year old with a smoking problem and a mouth that's 2cm in diameter. It especially contrasts von Karma's voice in Inherited and is clearly out of place. Sorry, but ProZD was an absolute garbage casting choice for Gregory. I don't care what you say, Courtney is not British. Knightley and Shields' voices are just too realistic and not AA sounding. Keyes and Blaise are the only other objections that almost fit the bill, almost.
Again, though, massive props to Sebastian's voice actor. He absolutely nailed his voiceclip.
On a related note, I think Alba and Calisto's objections are actually not bad because remember, they are (Alba definitely, Calisto I assume so since she works for him) foreigners who originate from Cohdopia. It makes sense for them to have an accent when speaking English, and with only one word to go off of, their accent sounds exactly like one would expect. It's surprising how most people can't make that basic connection and instead go straight to mindless hating. Ace Attorney's fanbase is supposed to be smarter than that.
Okay now back to the translation team, the overall dialogue for AAI2 feels much more dry. It's not as easy as you'd expect to capture the tones of each character during the translation, and the translation team kind of failed at that. The dialogue for the returning characters, especially Gumshoe and Kay, feel much more uniform and really lack the charm that AAIs official translation had. Try playing AAI and AAI2 in alternating cases side-by-side and the difference becomes clear as day.
Not just the dialogue in general, but also the quips and banter during the investigation sequences between main characters. Especially that one time in Inherited in which young Shields quotes Godot's "blacker than a moonless night" soliloque, for Gregory to think to himself "note: coffee has a bad effect on lawyers". If you really think about it, this took place before T&T and there is no way Godot would just quote Shields, so it's a really weird continuity plothole that both people say the same thing, like a 4th wall break. It's supposed to be a joke, but come on. Capcom wouldn't actually do something so unprofessional like that, and the translation team really had to make that weird joke a permanent part of Capcom's game. It's an official game so it's supposed to be more professional than using 4th wall breaks like that. This may seem nitpicky, but again - official Capcom game.
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Of course, people can like whatever they like. You may prefer a culprit that is over-the-top crazy more than a down-to-Earth one. You can like an unpredictable, convoluted overarching story more than a well-written one. But objectively, from a critical, unbiased point of view, Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth is a much better-written, higher quality work than Gyakuten Kenji 2. No amount of rose-colored glasses can change that, sorry.

I have been here few weeks and leaving soon. I am trying to find cheap (under $10) tshirts that say Canada or have a Maple leaf in red background. All tourist shops are expensive,
I tried the website of walmart, old navy etc couldnt find any. I found some on Dollarama website but they only allow bulk purchase.
Any place, preferably around downtown, or with online store, where I can get some Canada / Maple leaf / Beaver / bear / Moose saying t-shirts that is not expensive.

I (28F) was in a relationship with my BF (29M) since 2015, married since 2022. We both have friends of opposite sex but I always like to maintain respectful boundaries.
I am a friendly person who can easily initiate conversations with anyone. People enjoy spending time with me. People say that I am beautiful, inside and out. My BF's friends used to joke about how a guy like him got a girl like me. Also, I was the one who expressed my feelings first.
I randomly met a female friend of his, X, while we were on a date. She started talking to my BF totally ignoring me. I didn't mind until she said that they planned to be each other's future BF/GF. He continued the FUN. I was hurt but stayed silent. It was just the beginning.
For example, X would always comment on our posts saying "Such drama 😑/Irritating 😑" or simply 😑 emojis. Being fed up, I once replied to one of her comments saying "Is there any problem?". She cooled down, said NO. We didn't post much romantic stuffs unless it's an anniversary/birthday, we only shared funny incidents as friends.
Another example, X used to text him on FB saying "Come to WhatsApp". When he texted her on WA, she used to say, "Did that cause any trouble? Is she mad at you? 😂"
His only explanation to me was, "She is just having fun, why are you so serious?"
During arguments, he would change his password and stop talking to me for a few days. Once, I managed to access his FB, saw them texting each other. I also saw some earlier texts which I hadn't seen before. They were laughing about me, with X saying he should avoid girls like me and my BF saying he will never be in a relationship with me, he was just making me run around him. WE WERE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP AT THAT TIME!
I couldn't bring myself to confront him at that time. After a long time, I told him about the texts. He was shocked and apologized, saying that it was a mistake. I dropped the issue.
X's behavior continued. After much denial, he agreed to confront X. But he created a group chat, initiated the conversation saying that we should clear the confusion. I said, "X, please don't take this the wrong way, some things you do, really hurt my feelings. I know that you two are good friends, but as I am his GF, you can try to be a little more respectful with your words. I really believe we can be great friends. Let's hang out together sometime ❤️" All she said, "Listen, I am his friend and I like to have fun with him. This is friendship. He and I are always going to be friends and I will always have fun with him."
After that, I didn't respond in the group chat. I told my BF that I won't tolerate her anymore, he must block her on social media. He said I was overreacting when X had clarified things. I said, "She simply said that she would do it again and I should accept that." We argued about this a lot. After years of NAGGING, he decided to block her to HAVE PEACE, often saying he sacrificed just for me.
AITA?

So, I met an amazing woman on HER about a year ago and we clicked right away. She had her profile set to looking for friends initially which I was totally fine with. I had recently moved and was looking for new people to hangout with.
She's super smart, kind, funny, and is just genuinely wonderful to be around. I was infatuated the moment I met her. She's just awesome. We're both very comfortable around each other. It feels like I've known her for a longer time than I actually have
However, I know she had a nasty break up about two years ago, her ex had struggles with bipolar disorder, and things escalated badly.
I desperately want to tell her that I really like her, but I also genuinely want to keep her as a friend. She's coming over for dinner this week at my place and I was thinking about saying something. I'd rather be honest with her because she deserves it.Thing is I'm mildly terrified.
Any advice on how to go about this? Am I making a bigger deal out of this than I need to?
Send help.

During a cool wall section of an episode Clarkson and Hammond were arguing about some car, I think it was a Mercedes. Jeremy was talking about how you can hear it over a F1 car and Richard and did a funny, nerdy voice saying “ you can hear my car over the sound of a Formula One car” what episode was this from?

I've been looking to find a full vintage bottle of Pink Lady Champagne from the 1960's - 1980's. I cannot find out anything about who the original producer was, or the types of grapes that it was made with.
The funny thing is that the auction site says the wine used to make the original is likely from France, because when I was young we bought many, many bottles of this stuff and I remember it being like, $3.00/bottle. In the glass it was nearly a hot pink color, like it was lit by a pink neon light!
Anyway, thanks for your help!
​
BTW, There is a new Pink Lady Cider made with pears, but that's not the one I'm interested in.
https://wineauctioneer.com/lot/667/pink-lady-sweet-rose-nv-champagne
A sweet rose Champagne. The front label proudly states "Produce of Great Britain" - it is likely that the wine was blended and/or bottled in Great Britain, while the wine is actually from the Champagne region of France.

My niece will turn 2 years old in a few months. She is in the stage where she is kinda learning random stuff. Like her parents would say "Where's your eyes?" She then would point at her eyes. "Where's your nose?" Points at her nose. Smart kid. For a few weeks now, they have been teaching her colors. She points at something blue when asked "where's the color blue?" Stuff like that.
Then just last week, they've been teaching her animal sounds. She now knows how dog barks, cats meow, cows moo, etc.
Then, like a secret project, I taught her how turkeys sound. I said "What's the sound of turkey?" I immediately followed with what I call the turkey sound "luckluckluckluckluckluck" something like that. It's like saying the word "luck" but very fast. She then would imitate the sound. "luckluckluckluckluck." Only took like a few minutes for her to learn.
Then behold, in front of her parents, I asked my niece, "What's the sound of turkey?" She then mimicked the sound "luckluckluckluckluckluck", then both parents died laughing.
Thing is now, she just sometimes blurt out that sound randomly without actually being asked. She just say it randomly. Her parents are mildly mad at me because I taught her that sound. In my defense, turkey is real animal that makes that sound, and I just wanted to add it to her vocabulary. But I do be admitting that I taught her that sound cuz it sounded really silly and funny.
So AITA?

I’ve read plenty of stories from this subreddit over the years. Because of that, the first thing I ask if I need help at a store and there’s someone that fits the description of employee is, “Excuse me, do you work here?” It was this very thing that caused the following situation at the grocery store.
Shoplifting is pretty bad at this store so the commonly stolen medicines are locked in a cabinet. One of the medicines I needed was in the cabinet so I went off to find an employee. I spot someone stocking beverages in the drinks aisle so I approach and ask if he works here. The guy ignores me so I ask again as I walked a little closer to him, but he brushes me off again. Finally I’m pretty much 5 feet away from him and I ask again to which he starts stumbling his words. This poor guy probably thought he’s about to have a story for this sub, but when he tells me that he works for a company that stocks the drinks I apologize for bothering him and wish him a good day. Simple as that. That’s how all IDWHL situations should go (but then we wouldn’t have fun/wholesome stories for this sub).
Story is not over yet though! Eventually I find someone else that fits the description of employee and I ask if they work here. They give me a very stern, “No”, and give me a funny look before laughing and saying, “I’m just playing. Of course I do. What do you need?” They helped me get my medicine and that was that. Just a interesting day at the grocery store. Always remember to be kind and understanding of employees.

Venue: XL Center (Hartford, CT)
Attendance: ~8900

Winner	Loser	Match Finish	Stipulation
Becky Lynch	Sonya Deville w/ Chelsea Green	Man-Handle Slam	MitB Qualifying Match
GUNTHER w/ Imperium	Kevin Owens w/ Sami Zayn	Roll-Up following Imperium brawl with Sami
Ronda Rousey and Shayna Bazler	Kayden Carter and Katana Chance	Kirafuda Clutch
Ricochet	Shinsuke Nakamura	Double DQ when Bronson Reed attacks both men
Zoey Stark w/ Trish Stratus	Natalya	Z-360
Indus Sher w/ Jinder Mahal	Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander	Referee Stoppage
Seth Rollins (c)	Damian Priest	Curbstomp	For the World Heavyweight Championship

IMPORTANT NOTES

• Kick-Off with Seth Rollins making his way to the ring and welcoming us to Monday Night Rollins and says the last week has been a non-stop par-tay before thinking to himself when was the last time they had a World Title match on Raw. He had to go all the way back to two years ago and says that is too damn long so he put out for the call for an open challenge which was answered by the Judgement Day's Damian Priest. Seth admits he's kinda excited for it since he wanted to fight the best, and love them or hate them, The Judgement Day are as as good as it gets and he's looking forward to showing them that as good as they are they just ain't him. The Judgement Day come out to interrupt with Finn and Damian walking down the ramp and Seth wants to know where Rhea and Dom are out wondering if they're gonna jump him from behind or making out somewhere. Priest says Dom and Rhea has their own business to take care of and Seth says he's sure they do before asking why Finn and Priest have to go everywhere and ask if they even gotta hold on together when they go to the bathroom. Finn calls him funny but says no one is gonna be laughing when Priest beats him for the title tonight. Damian admits that he thinks Seth is a deserving champion and he's beaten everyone he's been in the ring with, but so has he. Damian says he never knew when this opportunity was going to happen so he is taking full advantage and he doesn't need Finn, Dom, or Rhea to take care of Rollins. Seth tells Priest if he's so confident then why doesn't he put his money where his mouth with and leave his crew in the back and suggests it may be better if he leaves Finn in the back since he usually can't handle a fight with him. Finn tells Seth that he doesn't dictate how they roll but Priest interrupts to say he's fine with the stipulation because either way he's leaving tonight as World Heavyweight Champion and put a short end to Seth's title reign. Seth says he's looking forward to it, and even if the reign ended tonight it'd still be much longer than Finn's was.
  
• Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are interviewed backstage about what happened on Smackdown. Sami says he isn't the one to say he told you so but he's glad to say the Usos do what they should have done months ago, well at least Jimmy was able to but hopes Jey follows suit. They are interupted by Kaiser and Vinci, Ludwig says that the Bloodline is no longer their problem, Imperium is. Kevin goes on a rant saying that they told them already last week to not appear when they aren't asked. GUNTHER appears and tells Owens he needs to control his temper. Owens says he'll show him how much he can control it and challenges him to a match right now and storms to the ring.
  
• Backstage Matt Riddle says he's tired of seeing GUNTHER cheat week after week and says if it wasn't for Kaiser and Giovanni he would have lost the Intercontinental Championship long ago. Kaiser and Vinci come by and demand to know how dare he degrade GUNTHER's good name and asks Riddle what he's going to do about it before shoving Riddle. Riddle grabs Vinci and flips him over the crates before grabbing Vinci's leg and locking him in an ankle lock until officials come by to pull him off.
  
• Backstage Shayna Bazler says they manifested this a decade ago when they were still in the octagon and Ronda says they are finally going to legitimize the titles and want to see anyone try and challenge them. Katana Chance and Kayden Carter approach them and say they're up for a fight but Ronda and Shayna both dismiss them and attempt to intimidate them. Ronda says if they have a death wish so bad then they'll get their baptism by fire.
  
• Ricochet is shadow-boxing backstage when Bronson Reed approaches and calls him lucky for qualifying for Money in the Bank when he rag dolled him two weeks ago. Ricochet says it wasn't luck that he beat a former world champion and Bronson couldn't get the job done against Nakamura. Bronson says he was dominating Shinsuke until but is cut off by Nakamura saying until he beat him. Bronson walks off as Ricochet tells Nakamura he respects him but that won't change things tonight or at Money in the Bank.
  
• Backstage Chad Gable says Otis is the reason they came together with Maxine Dupree and Maxine says Otis is what made her realize their true potential but wants to know what that Viking troll. Chad tells her that he has a plan to train Otis to deal with the Viking Raiders and is having him read up on Viking literature but he is also going to teach her how to deal with Valhalla and tells her to get changed so they can train.
  
• It's time for Miz TV! Miz says he knew once he heard about the World Title match that tonight would be special so he had to secure a special guest and welcomes out Cody Rhodes. Cody comes to the ring and Miz says he looks dashing tonight before getting down to business. He says last week Cody listed all the cities he'll be in and challenged Brock Lesnar, the same man who broke his arm, to a fight? Isn't that kinda stupid. Cody says Mike is coming right out of the gate with it. Miz corrects him that in this ring he is The Miz thank you. Cody says he hadn't heard it been called stupid, he heard it called crazy, gutsy, and required balls which Miz knows a tiny bit about. Cody says since we all know Brock is on his yearly vacation so he has a feeling he won't be seeing Brock for a while but he will be waiting every week for him. Miz says he has a surprise for Cody, another multi-generational superstar who can know exactly what Cody goes through and introduces the one and only Dominik Mysterio who makes his way down with Rhea Ripley. Miz starts to talk but Rhea tells him to be quiet and Miz complies before she hands the mic to Dom. Dom attempts to speak but is booed out of it, Cody sarcastically asks for them not to boo Dom and Rhea demands that they show some respect. Dom powers through the boos to say that he listened to Cody talk last week like he was the big dog but compared to someone who did hard time he's just a birdie with a broken ring. Then he heard him list off all the crappy towns he'll be at and it made him realize that Cody is a bad father who'd rather be out waiting for Brock than at home with his daughter and says him a dead-beat just like Rey. Cody says he has a lot of empathy for the 15 minutes Dom spent in prison and calls that real hard time and says Dom ended up with a worse prison tattoo than he did. Then at Wrestlemania he didn't have a match at Rey, he had a public spanking. Cody admits that it is true that Rey made some terrible mistakes in his life, because he's looking right at one. Dom goes to leave but then smacks Cody as he's looking down and then hides behind Rhea as he taunts Cody and Ripley challenges him to take a shot. As Dom and Rhea retreat up the ramp Miz tries to hug Cody but instead Cody knocks him with a forearm from his titanium cast.
  
• Backstage Paul Heyman invites us to join him to join him this Friday when family drama will play out as Jey Uso makes his historic choice. As a wiseman he must at times deliver unpleasant news even if it is to Roman Reigns, and this is some unpleasant news. This will tear apart the Anoai family when Jey makes the right choice to stand by his brother...Solo. Heyman says you can share a womb with Jimmy but he will never be closer than with your Tribal Chief Roman Reigns, and says this Friday Jey will acknowledge that fact, or else.
  
• During the main event Finn attempts to blindside Seth on the outside but Rollins is able to super kick him off. Priest asks Finn why he's out there before re-focusing on the match. Following the end of the match Balor enters the ring to stare down with Seth.
  

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I am a teenage girl from cali. Basically I have been in a friend group for my entire life and they are my family. Our parents are all best friends and we have gone on many vacations together. Before we all hit puberty nothing was wrong and we were the model friendships. sleepovers with everybody every weekend, movies, etc. However one member of the group is a bitch to say the least. the 2 girls have buddied up and i will give you a run down. One of them is a narcissist who has called the cops on my and pretended that she didn’t, a pathological liar and stolen from my family, and the other one is a down right idiot. For the record she strongly supports the fact that planets aren’t real and that dinosaurs never existed, as well as all gay people should die. Anyways i love every other member of the group so much and have had no provlems with them except they still love the 2 demons. They think nothing the 2 could be that bad and it’s funny, but it’s started to get out of hand, and the other members might be getting influenced by the others ideas, such as racism and sexism, even though both can apply to some. They are in every activity i do and go to my school so i don’t know if i drop them if i can maintain my other friendships if they are still close with twiddle dee and twiddle dum. So should i ignore them for the sake of my other friends or should i just cut contact all together?