I couldn't care less force md's


2022.03.31 15:40 iwenttolawschoolonce littlelaw

"For Those Who Couldn’t Care Less About Big Law" - - Aka, for current and former Law School Redditors (who couldn't care less about Big Law, or at least want to crap on Big Law). Ask questions, seek advice, post outlines, etc. But this is NOT a forum for legal advice.

2022.04.28 18:29 hamonkeymonkey monkeyduck

Do what you want I couldn’t care Rule Must have Kermit

2015.12.08 04:05 AmIBig

The place for asking people to read you statistdicks.

2023.03.29 02:54 epicfunnymoment69 I'm scared of my family's response

Idk maybe I shouldn't be. Even if I'm writing this they're yelling at one another. Whether it's positive or negative it's always yelling.
I've been thinking about my identity and Gender and accepting I identify as wanting to be a woman. The problem is that I don't know what they'd think of me.
For one, my mother has been supportive of trans people but took a bit of a turn because of disinformation, and know her feelings seem to be mixed, although she's been more aware a lot of the stuff she was seeing was BS. She already said she would be upset if a child of her came out as gay but idk if she'd be comfortable with someone being trans, especially MTF.
My father has been weird where he mocks gay and trans people, but also says if they want to live that way it's fine. He'll make jokes about trans people but also call out my mom if she says something out of line.
My sister is very supportive of trans rights, but she has a habit of doing a 180° and I'm more than confident she'd leak my coming out to everyone she knows, and wouldn't be afraid of exposing me to people at random, especially if it makes her feel better.
They're all horrible people to one another, and can be either tolerant, but at times are some of the most toxic and judgmental people around. (They're actually jokingly insulting one another as I'm typing this)
I wouldn't want to abandon them and I don't want to. I care about them and they're family. I just hope they care about him. I'm planning to start HRT soon and I'm scared they'll try to persuade me out of it or guilt me to try to stop. Financially I can't move out right now, even though I can, and I don't want to leave them when I'm already a financial provider to help out. My mom has always cared about me and raised me and I couldn't bare to actually leave her and cut all contact with any of them. You know, I want a relationship but I'm scared of me destroying that, but I know I have to do what's best for me anyways.
I don't want them to hate me but I'm scared it would. I'm thinking maybe I should hint at it a bit, I'm already growing out my hair and practicing slight voice changes but I'm thinking of asking questions like "if (sister) came out as trans would you accept it?" and maybe get her reaction.
Sorry if I'm venting, but I had to. I feel great seeing myself as a girl and thinking about being openly feminine, but when I think of them, I get a bit nervous about it and revert to thinking of myself a bit more male. I'm just looking to get this all off my chest and know it's nothing to really worry about.
submitted by epicfunnymoment69 to trans [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:53 Intelligent_Pin1996 My Girlfriend [F23] and I [M27] haven't talked properly in almost 2 weeks.

Hi, sorry if the following sounds like rambling.
My girlfriend and I have just started dating recently. On March 17 (a Friday night) I had went to a party and had gotten a bit drunk. Once I got home I called her on the phone and we talked nicely for about half an hour. After that point, I started saying some stuff to her that I had on my chest that i wouldn't have said if I was sober. I made it sound like I didn't trust her. She talked about trips that she was going to go on with her girl friends, and I guess I just started asking too many questions like 'what are you going to be doing there', etc. Her ex was controlling and made her cut off a lot of her friends and I guess when I started talking that way I started reminding her of her ex. The next day I had called her to apologize and told her that I had drank even though that's no excuse for my behavior. I told her I know she's a good person and that I do trust her. She got the impression that I was just saying that to fix the situation. I think she kind of forgave me but things still weren't totally the same. I even asked her "Do you not want to make this work?" And she said "yes and no." I asked her why the 'no', and she said "I don't think we're on the same page."
On Wednesday March 22, when I called her, I told her that I wanted to see her on the weekend. But she couldn't see me because she was going to be busy. On Saturday her friend was coming over and so she was going to be busy with that, and on Sunday she was going to study majority of the day and she had a family event to attend. I hadn't seen her in two weeks already so I sounded a bit annoyed that I wasn't going to see her and so we had a little argument about that. She also has an important exam that she's studying for and she studies everyday for it, and I feel like she got the impression that I didn't care about her exam. I want her to prioritize her studies. Again, it was a stupid argument.
Things haven't been the same since. She barely texts me, she sometimes leaves me on read, we barely talk on the phone. When we talk on the phone, there's definitely tension. I just want things to be the same as they were before. Any advice on how I can fix this? I do believe there was a lot of miscommunication. I really do love her.
submitted by Intelligent_Pin1996 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:53 YourLovelyLadyVenus Terminating rights when Paternity is never established??

Okay so brief overview before because situation is complecated.
I have a 3yr old son, his "Bio Dad" who I will call "Chris." Has been an addict on and off since 2011, He has some unofficially diagnosed and treated mental issues. Symptoms that what I would think we're similar to Schizophrenia, or Paranoid disorder or similar. I'm not sure, he thinks he is under investigation by Police department, FBI, regularly accused me of being a Lackey or Informant that I was planted specifically to ruin his life....
Several other things mixed in with that as well....
We met in a mental hospital, shortly after I was divorced from my ex husband which was a really rough divorce, I admitted myself to get help with suicidal thoughts and whatever. We just chit chatted exchanged numbers he said he was there for alcoholism/detox.
We dated for a month or so after. Immediately made a toxic trauma bond and I started to realize he was an odd character. Hed fly off the handle thinking someone was stalking me, or that I was being threatened and then that I was conspiring against him.
I sent the better part of two years trying to help him get better and on his feet, get and keep a job. Stop drinking ect....
Never worked...
I got pregnant, with our son. He was happy, then would constantly demand I tell him who's baby it was. Or tell me he wanted a paternity test ASAP.....
I said that's fine countless times...our situation just got constantly more scary for myself with our son involved. Id find him drunk, or crying in a corner getting irrationally angry over things I was doing "on purpose" forgetting to take trash out, send a msg whatever.
I had our son, he was happy stayed the entire time and yeah. He walked in the hallway with the nurse after I did some of the paperwork.... pretty sure he asked the nurse what to do if he wasn't the dad.".
Because I found out he's not on the birth certificate...(which is probably positive but he got angry say I took him off which is impossible, I don't think he even remembers)
Well newborn baby, we got an apartment together. I didn't take maternity leave because it was the middle of pandemic, however major hiccup in unemployment he couldn't hold a job down. Evicted while our son was 2 months old.
Had a way out family took me in away from him, I got my head back on straight. Im with a man who has been everything I needed. My son now thinks my boyfriend is Dad. Because he has basically been since son was 4/5 months old....
We've slowly cutting him off tried of the delusions, the constant begging for "our family" saying someone forced me to leave etc. I tried to let him see him for an hour or so a week with a 3rd party there and then his behavior kept me pushing me to break contact. He's only seen his son for a couple hours maybe a month, no support, nothing at all.
What steps do I need to take to make sure association can be broken, I'd like to remarry and my boyfriend would like to adopt my son because he sees him as a son??? Any guidance would be great.
submitted by YourLovelyLadyVenus to Ask_Lawyers [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:52 defialpro John Wick Chapter 5 Premise

Synopsis: After the events of John Wick 4, John (Keanu Reeves) has successfully faked his own death and escaped the High Table's reach. Living in hiding under a new identity in a small European village, he tries to leave his violent past behind. Meanwhile, the High Table has expanded its operations, infiltrating governments in Africa and South America and consolidating its power.
The U.S. Government, concerned by the High Table's growing influence, decides to locate and recruit John Wick as an asset in their fight against the secret organization. General James Mitchell (Idris Elba), the head of a special task force, has been deployed to these locations with his team but has made little progress in eliminating the upper echelons of the cabal of assassins.
Desperate for a breakthrough, General Mitchell enlists the help of Agent Sarah Andrews (Jessica Chastain), a CIA operative with a deep knowledge of the High Table's operations. Agent Andrews is tasked with finding John Wick and persuading him to join their cause.
After a relentless search, Agent Andrews locates John and convinces him to help, appealing to his desire for justice and revenge against the High Table. John agrees to work with the U.S. Government but under one condition: he will only answer to Agent Andrews, who he trusts to understand the complexity of the situation.
Together, John, Agent Andrews, and General Mitchell's elite task force embark on a dangerous mission to infiltrate the High Table's bases in Africa and South America. They discover that the High Table has been using their influence in these regions to control valuable resources and destabilize local governments, further expanding their power.
As they delve deeper into the High Table's operations, they face numerous challenges, including corrupt officials, treacherous terrain, and the High Table's deadliest assassins. Along the way, John reconnects with old allies, including the Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne) and Sofia (Halle Berry), who provide invaluable support to their mission.
In a thrilling series of battles and covert operations, John Wick: Operation Chimera explores the geopolitical implications of the High Table's activities and the true cost of power. John must confront his past and face the consequences of his actions as he fights to dismantle the High Table's global network and prevent their insidious influence from spreading further.
In the end, John must decide if his pursuit of vengeance is worth the price of his own humanity, and whether he can truly escape the world he once knew.

Winston (Ian McShane), the manager of the Continental Hotel, sits behind his desk, sipping a glass of whiskey. The office is dimly lit, filled with antique furniture and an air of sophistication. The phone rings, and Winston answers.
WINSTON: Continental Hotel, Winston speaking.
AGENT ANDREWS (V.O.): Mr. Winston, my name is Sarah. I'm a close associate of Charon's and, in fact, his sister. I was devastated to hear about his death. I'd like to come to the Continental to collect his belongings and pay my respects.
WINSTON (saddened): My deepest condolences, Sarah. Charon was a loyal and dedicated colleague, and he will be dearly missed. You are more than welcome to come and collect his belongings.
AGENT ANDREWS (V.O.): Thank you, Mr. Winston. I appreciate your kind words. By the way, I've heard John Wick was a close friend of my brother. Do you know what he's been up to lately? I'd like to speak with him if possible.
Winston becomes visibly concerned and adamant.
WINSTON: I'm afraid that won't be possible, Sarah. John Wick... he's dead. He met a tragic end not long ago.
AGENT ANDREWS (V.O., feigning sadness): Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. They were quite close, and I'm sure my brother would have wanted me to speak with him. It's a shame.
WINSTON: Yes, it is. John was a valued associate of ours, and his death was a great loss.
AGENT ANDREWS (V.O.): Well, Mr. Winston, I will be arriving early next week to collect my brother's belongings. I'm looking forward to meeting you in person.
WINSTON: I'll make sure everything is prepared for your arrival, Sarah. Once again, my deepest condolences for your loss.
AGENT ANDREWS (V.O.): Thank you, Mr. Winston. Take care.
Winston hangs up the phone, his expression contemplative. He takes another sip of his whiskey, mulling over the conversation.

Agent Andrews (Jessica Chastain) sits at the dimly lit bar, nursing a drink. The atmosphere is tense, and she keeps scanning the room, trying to remain inconspicuous. Suddenly, John Wick (Keanu Reeves) appears behind her, his presence calm but menacing.
WICK (whispering): I heard from a little bird that you've been looking for me. What do you want?
Startled, Agent Andrews jumps in her seat. She tries to maintain her composure, knowing she needs John's help.
ANDREWS (nervous): John Wick... I've heard stories about you. I didn't think you were still alive.
WICK (impassive): You didn't answer my question.
ANDREWS (swallowing hard): The U.S. Government needs your help, John. The High Table has infiltrated governments in Africa and South America. We've tried everything - military operations, diplomacy - but nothing has worked. We need someone like you. A scalpel when the brute force method doesn't work.
Wick studies Andrews for a moment, gauging her sincerity. His eyes are cold, unyielding.
WICK: Why should I trust you? How do I know you're not working for them?
ANDREWS (pleading): I'm not with the High Table, John. I'm trying to stop them. You're the only one capable of completing this task. You have the skills, the connections, and the motivation to bring them down.
John remains silent for a moment, considering her words. The tension in the air is palpable.
WICK: If I help you, I do this on my terms. No government interference. I work alone.
ANDREWS (relieved): You have my word, John. We just need your expertise. We'll provide you with the resources you need.
Wick finishes his drink and stands up, preparing to leave.
WICK: I'll be in touch. But if you betray me or go back on your word, there will be consequences.
With that, John Wick disappears into the night, leaving Agent Andrews to contemplate the dangerous alliance she has just formed.

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) steps out of his secluded home, noticing a sealed envelope on his porch. He picks it up, examining it carefully before opening it. As he reads, we hear Agent Andrews' (Jessica Chastain) voice narrating the contents.
AGENT ANDREWS (V.O.): Dear John,
I understand the risk you are taking by even considering our request. However, I assure you that the U.S. Government is committed to supporting you in your mission to dismantle the High Table. If you choose to accept our offer, you will have access to all the resources you need, including state-of-the-art weaponry, intelligence, and transportation. Furthermore, we will provide you with any team members you require from our elite fighting forces, even those from our most esoteric units specializing in espionage.
We know that you have attempted to take down the High Table in the past but were met with resistance. With our support, you will have a real chance at success, and together, we can put an end to their reign of terror.
If you have a change of heart and decide to join us, please meet me at the Great Temple in Petra, Jordan. It is a location far removed from the High Table's usual territory, providing us with a safe space to discuss our plans and strategize.
Time is of the essence, John. The High Table's influence continues to grow, and every day they remain in power, countless lives are at risk.
Please consider our offer. We believe that you are our last, best hope.
Sincerely, Agent Sarah Andrews
John finishes reading the letter and looks off into the distance, deep in thought. He knows that this may be his last chance to destroy the High Table once and for all.
submitted by defialpro to JohnWick [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:51 ADefunctLife The Shadow People

I have had sleep issues for many years, however they got much worse when I stopped drinking in 2019, which was no alcohol for two years. I used to drink six beers a night and I would be able to fall asleep within a couple of minutes. I'd be able to wake up and go to work the next day without any major issues. I would sometimes be tired, but only if I got less than 9 hours of sleep. I still have some beers here and there, but never more than three in a sitting.
My sleep issues since have been incredibly difficult to the point where I can go days without sleep. I have tried melatonin, Valerian root, trazodone, doxepin, had a bad reaction to mirtazapine where I couldn't stop moving my body, Seroquel (which I am on now), and Zopiclone. The Zopiclone does knock me out, but only for two-three nights and then it doesn't work until I stay off of it for a few days. My psychiatrist does not want me to use it anymore, even for emergencies and only recommends that I keep upping my dose of Seroquel until I pass out. I have 25mg tablets and he said I can have upwards of 200mg, or higher.
The sleep issues started getting bad after I stopped drinking and have progressively gotten worse, especially in the last year. Back in October and November, I'd be up for four and a half days before finally succumbing to sleep. Every night would take 7-8 hours to fall asleep. Once I fall asleep, I can usually stay asleep. Also, if I have a bad night sleeping, it seems to make the next night, MUCH worse. Doesn't seem to matter how much physical exercise I get. The vicious cycle of lack of sleep and anxiety churn until some crazy things start happening.
That's when things get real bad. I start hearing things, and then I start seeing shadow people. I can't quite tell what they're saying, but its demonic. Everything is so far gone and I am living in this hell that I can't seem to escape. I have this derealization of reality and everything is twisted. Scariest and worst part of my life.
This is destroying my life... I've had to put school on hold, my job is suffering, and it seems like no one understands. My counselor seems like she is just reading from a text book, my psychiatrist wants me to keep upping Seroquel. Why is it that I haven't had these issues when I drank?
I've tried going to bed at the same time, trying medications (see above), sleep podcasts, dark and cold room, no phone, not looking at a clock, breathing exercises, counting down in my head, getting up and then going back to bed, etc. Remember that I said above that I sleep worse the more sleep-deprived I get, instead of being so exhausted that I pass out. Obviously it has happened, but sometimes it takes over half a week.
By the way, I haven't slept for very many hours in the last couple of days, so not sure if I am making much sense with this super, long post.
submitted by ADefunctLife to insomnia [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:51 29BlueEagle [REDUCED][FS][UK to Anywhere][Ring] 2.70ct / 9x7mm Radiant Cut Premium Charles & Colvard Forever One Moissanite with Diamond Shoulders & Hidden Diamond Halo, Platinum 950, Size US 6 (UK L 1/2)

[REDUCED][FS][UK to Anywhere][Ring] 2.70ct / 9x7mm Radiant Cut Premium Charles & Colvard Forever One Moissanite with Diamond Shoulders & Hidden Diamond Halo, Platinum 950, Size US 6 (UK L 1/2)
2.70ct / 9x7mm Radiant Cut Premium Charles & Colvard Forever One Moissanite
Platinum 950 metal, Band width 1.65mm, US size 6, UK size L 1/2
G/H SI Quality Diamond paved shoulders and G/H SI Quality Diamond paved hidden halo
This absolutely stunning ring was purchased from Lily Arkwright jewellery company.
Photos of ring and proof: https://imgur.com/a/VYNhtXk
Selling for: $799 (approx. £649) price includes shipping (DPD) (will ship to anywhere globally)
Price paid: £2,561.00 (receipts shown)
Ring includes Lily Arkwright ring box.
Condition is excellent and only worn on less than 10 occasions for short amount of times. Never worn throughout the day. Kept clean and no scratches/damage. Has been sitting in the box on a shelf for over a year as I couldn't return due to it being a custom and I never got around to listing it until now.
submitted by 29BlueEagle to MoissaniteBST [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:50 These_AreTheDays my older brother 29 years old is dying and i dont know how to process, if someone can help

he has brain cancer for almost a year and by now it is all over his brain. since january he has been on paliative care eventhough he is living with us. in the summer we already knew it couldnt be cured but he were fighting and we were hopeful that he could live another year while being his old self again. that is not happening. after christmas a mri confirmed that from now on things would only get worse. these have already been grief months only waiting for him to die while seeing him getting worse every week
the doctors thought he wouldnt last until february but now suddenly this week he seems a little bit better without needing a wheel chair (he started using it mid february). the situation is really unstable and i now i think that in the last 6 weeks i havent done almost anything. i have a huge inertia to study, to go outside and do useful thing that i should do. ive always been the fun guy and when i go meet friends i just dont want to talk. only when i start drinking in college social gatherings i can laugh and live a double life even with people that dont know what im going through. i just want to avoid people unless i get loads of beer to just live the moment and have fun for some moments
i cant cry, i just feel apathy. i think this situation is so sad that im not processing it and that it surpassed somehow my capacity to feel completely miserable as I should. we had two bands and he is my best friend. why am I not crying? can someone relate and if so, guide me through for what it is coming? am i suddenly just gonna crash and get knocked out when he in fact dies?
ive just been grieving while he is still here. feel guilty for not feeling it more. it just seems i cant feel anymore. is it common? thank you
submitted by These_AreTheDays to grief [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:50 Shashi_tharooor_7 q: why listen to soul as per bhagvad gita mentioning relevant verse.

!gitagpt "why listen to soul"
Arjuna, listen to me carefully, as I reveal to you the reason for listening to the soul, as mentioned in the Bhagavad Gita. The soul is eternal, unchangeable, and the true essence of our being. It is the source of our consciousness and the guiding force behind our actions.
In Chapter 2, Verse 13, I have said:
"Dehino ’smin yathā dehe kaumāram yauvanam jarā, tathā dehāntara-prāptir dhīras tatra na muhyati."
Just as the body undergoes changes from childhood, youth, and old age, so does the soul pass through different bodies. The wise are not deluded by these changes.
By listening to the soul, you will understand the eternal nature of life and the transient nature of the material world. This understanding will help you rise above the dualities of pleasure and pain, gain and loss, victory and defeat.
In Chapter 2, Verse 23, I have explained the indestructible nature of the soul:
"Nainam chindanti shastrani nainam dahati pavakah, na chainam kledayanty apo na sosayati marutah."
Weapons cannot cut the soul, fire cannot burn it, water cannot wet it, and wind cannot dry it.
Listening to the soul will help you realize your true identity as a spiritual being, beyond the temporary physical body. This realization will lead you to perform your duties with detachment, free from the bondage of desires and expectations.
In Chapter 2, Verse 47, I have advised you to perform your duties without attachment to the results:
"Karmanye v
written By GitaGptv1.2 Made BY u/shashi_tharooor_7
submitted by Shashi_tharooor_7 to HinduJeevan [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:50 anonymousj100 I Keep Ending Up Back Where I Began Every Time I Try To Move Forward With My Life

Short background info: I'm 19M with no job, no driver's license, and am not in college, due to the fact that I keep ending up in these situations, and I've lost all trust for any system that's supposed to help me.
The first instance of this phenomenon really happening was when I was 17 and in my senior semester of high school (I was in online school and had voluntarily opted to graduate a semester early as I thought it would be helpful). It proved more difficult than I had anticipated, but not for reasons you would initially think. Not only did the school decide to TRIPLE the amount of written assignments that year for everyone, but my town specifically was also having near-weekly power outages that just so happened to occur during this period of time, and caused me to miss a whole bunch of work, significantly impacting my grades. The cherry on top was that, at the end of the semester, the testing center for the ACT/SAT was too far of a drive, and iirc my family was having issues with our car anyway, so I never got to take either. I did manage to scrape by, barely graduating with all C's for the semester. However, my options for college have been significantly limited forever, due to this convoluted situation of external factors.
The next instance of this happening has to do with my first (and only) semester of college. It was an online school with a 100% acceptance rate. I was studying accounting but it ended up being confusing and had less to do with math (which I enjoyed) than I had thought. Still, I persisted and was on track to do fine for the semester. That is until my family decided to move across the country on a 2-week-long road trip, and I had no choice but to go with them as I live with them. Due to being on the road all day and only staying at hotels at night, I had practically no internet access once again. It was kinda like my high school situation all over again, but for a different reason. When I finally got internet access again at the new house, I realized I had missed pretty much the most important work of the semester, and all my A's and B's had turned into F's. The semester was almost over too, leaving me no time to realistically raise my grades enough to pass, so I sucked it up and failed and never went back. Almost a whole semester worth of colleges work for nothing, leaving me back at square one, just older.
The third, most recent, and arguably most tragic instance of this happening just happened last year. I can't really go into much detail regarding the opportunity that was affected, but I can share what happened to me individually. Basically, I was in a really rare but cool opportunity right up my alley that lasted a few months and would benefit me forever. For the first half, it was going smoothly. I was also just learning to drive and had just scheduled my road test. However, Hurricane Ian eventually decided to strike and take out the power pretty much the day before my road test and also interfere with said opportunity. Simultaneously, I started experiencing many strange health issues. Over the next few weeks they got worse. To put a long story short, eventually I couldn't fall asleep at all, was having seizures (or at least something similar), was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, and put in a mental ward for 10 days. I eventually came back to normal, but I strongly believe I was misdiagnosed and still haven't received closure or a real second opinion. You can find more about this in my post history. My best guess is that I had a blood clot in my brain/head, because immediately after one of the seizures, I felt a crack in the back of my head which triggered a really bad nosebleed, and after that I gradually started getting better. This seizure also happened WHILE in the mental hospital and they said I was FAKING all of it. They actually kept me longer because I "faked" that seizure (When I didn't, it was real. Maybe it wasn't a seizure, but whatever it was, it was similar and wasn't fun). I'm still really mad about that, because I probably could have died from their negligence had it been something worse. Anyways, the opportunity I was in just kept going on without me because there were other people in it, but it was pretty much over by the time I got out, which felt really isolating and basically ruined what was left of it for me specifically.
But yeah, to sum up, every time I think I'm doing something to move forward with my life, something else always comes along and interferes to the point of sabotage. I'm sick of this happening and have made no further efforts to improve my life anymore because something stupid always happens that sets me back to where I began. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of mooching off my parents and feeling embarrassingly inferior and increasingly incompetent compared to my fellow young adults, but it's still better than going through these types of experiences repeatedly and wasting my time.
submitted by anonymousj100 to whatsbotheringyou [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:49 ObjectiveRaspberry75 Dealing with depression and keeping finances in order

I hope this subject/question is within the realm of this sub.
I (29f) am struggling with depression, and this current spell is the worst I’ve ever felt. One of the hardest parts is the soul crushing apathy I feel. I can’t seem to care for myself and my own well being, and it’s very much coming across in how I spend my money.
I’m ashamed to say that on average I have spent $750 per month on takeout, eating out, etc. for the past few months. That is quite literally what I pay for rent. I’m a single human, this ends up looking like take out on almost a daily basis. I calculated everything hoping I’d get some sort of emotional response to the sticker shock, and I just still don’t care. To be fair to myself, I have been without meds and therapy for this time period, and I have appointments for both this week. I didn’t neglect to schedule/search out care, but due to availability I’ve been waiting for quite some time.
I’m just like… searching for my own outrage at my habits. I’m so lucky to be able to say I can live like this and it’s not putting me into debt, but like, this is the money that would be put towards saving/travel/experiences. If you’ve ever been in a similar place, what are some things that kept you engaged with your financial goals? What have you done to quiet the hopelessness voice and continue to meet your goals? What are ways you gave yourself some leeway?
I think I expect responses that say this is temporary, take care of yourself, etc. But depression has proven to be not all that temporary for me, and while I’m hopeful I’ll get out of this cycle soon, all signs point to another, worse spiral within the next 2 years. (All signs being previous experience.) I don’t think I’ll be able to surmount these cycles, but I would really like them to be less destructive to my life/relationships/finances. Help…
submitted by ObjectiveRaspberry75 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:49 elpitu_ Is it worth it to stay in a rotational program through the end?

I joined a rotational program focused on operations straight out of college and I am about 2 years in the program in my 2nd out of 3 rotations. I joined as an intern and converted to full time so I have 3 years in the company. I like the coworkers and the overall work but I am severely underpaid (80k in VHCOL area) which is about the same I got offered 3 years ago. I only got a 4% raise last year and this year there will not be raises due to the state of the economy + cuts in other benefits. Most of the people in the program have masters so they get paid ~20k more for the same job sometimes even less responsibilities which makes me feel taken advantage off. One part of me wants to finish the program since I am only a year away and its good experience but I feel anxious about not being treated fairly and think I could get better comp somewhere else as this company clearly doesn’t care about keeping talent and most people stay due to visa issues. Someone with more experience please give me some advice.
submitted by elpitu_ to careerguidance [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:49 elpitu_ Is it worth it staying in a rotational program through the end?

I joined a rotational program focused on operations straight out of college and I am about 2 years in the program in my 2nd out of 3 rotations. I joined as an intern and converted to full time so I have 3 years in the company. I like the coworkers and the overall work but I am severely underpaid (80k in VHCOL area) which is about the same I got offered 3 years ago. I only got a 4% raise last year and this year there will not be raises due to the state of the economy + cuts in other benefits. Most of the people in the program have masters so they get paid ~20k more for the same job sometimes even less responsibilities which makes me feel taken advantage off. One part of me wants to finish the program since I am only a year away and its good experience but I feel anxious about not being treated fairly and think I could get better comp somewhere else as this company clearly doesn’t care about keeping talent and most people stay due to visa issues. Someone with more experience please give me some advice.
submitted by elpitu_ to supplychain [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:48 VahniB Tiktok Live

This fucking app bruh every time I want to see some live videos its the same fucking progressive clones talking about the same shit and when I ask them to elaborate on any relevant subject they block me. Swear to god no tiktok live host ever has any good takes on anything. I couldn’t care less about what they stand for but when I see the same “trump is a fascist” “trans women are women” “yt people don’t experience racism” lives I’m gonna be mad! I just want to watch some gaming live streams…
submitted by VahniB to Rants [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:48 g59g59g59 My son (who is going to be adopted by my parents) is going to be raised religious.

Please help me.
So long story short… I have a 3 month old son. I have severe schizophrenia (wasn’t diagnosed until it was too late to abort) and am unable to care for him the way he needs and deserves. My mom and stepdad are going to adopt him and are currently caring for him full time. My mom has never been super religious but today is talking about going to church. Inevitably once he’s adopted they will drag him along to their sick place of worship. I feel so bad for him and also very angry that they’re doing this. She knows I’m a hardcore atheist and I’ve voiced that I do NOT want him going to church or raised religious. Since I don’t think I can prevent him from going, once he’s old enough to think for himself, should I start encouraging him to really think about how bad religion is? Should I straight up explain why I’m an atheist and say that he should be too? Just as I don’t want religion forced upon him I also don’t want him forced to not believe. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
submitted by g59g59g59 to atheism [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:48 Sazbadashie Dragons and their elements part 2: Dragons of Air

Dragons of the element of air are a very interesting bunch both being very intelligent the are also very aloof and tend to not to stay in one place for too long but if you're able to get one to sit and stay with you to teach you a few things they are the dragons that know a lot due to typically moving as they see fit and due to their nature they can range from very kind and light hearted to very sharp and unrelenting.
In dragon society they tend to be scholars if they ever decide to stay in relatively one place and tend to be artistic including music, I would highly recommend those who practices those skills to make friends with air dragons as they do enjoy them.
The typical looks for an air dragon typically are white or have light coloring and have feathers or a kind of fur primarily on their wings(if present) but they can have them all over their bodies, for example quetzalcoatl or Chinese loong dragons(though Chinese dragons can be any element this is just to give you an example to help you visualize what I'm saying)
In terms of their relationship with dragons of their opposite element it is less volatile in comparison to water dragons and fire dragons Air and earth dragons though they don't mix also don't overly effect eachother, think an unstoppable force in the form of air vs a immovable object in the form of earth. They're nullified but they don't explode like water and fire do. In terms of on a personal individual level between dragons the air dragon will usually lose interest in the earth dragon relatively easily unless they really find them interesting.
submitted by Sazbadashie to DragonMagic [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:47 Desired_Reply888 how could we ever be friends?

I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I last saw you, sometimes I wonder if you're creating these visions in my mind. somehow you're more spiritually aligned and psychic these are things I know in my heart are true about you these are things that I love about you, the way you can say so many things without saying anything at all. you say it all with how you look at me with those eyes. its incredible to experience, so in a way I can believe that you are sending me visions telepathically as well. i feel like you must've casted a spell on me. this love that I have always felt for you felt so strong and the last time I saw you I wasn't expecting for those feelings to be reignited. how do you do that? you fall asleep and I'm suddenly falling in love with you all over again? i feel so crazy. and irrational. and all i want and all that would satisfy me is just to be around you. you're so beautiful and so cool..
When i wake up i want to turn around and be able to tell you how I've been dreaming of you since i met you,
Last night i had a dream that, you were there and i was trying to figure out a way to get to you but you were surrounded by so many people. it was hard to get through. and what was weird is even though you have so many options, your attention was on me. like you were trying to get to me too. it reminded me of all those times we were drinking and even though there was a party of people anytime we would talk it just felt like there was no one in the room but us
remember the time we were comparing our hands? did you feel that it was electric too? I wish i could touch you more i was so excited to get your hands on mine. i wanted to do more. and i really hope you know that if i had the nerve i would've kissed you a long long time ago. especially when your friend told me how you felt. I wanted to hear you say it. I wanted to see your beautiful face that morning and watch your pretty mouth form the words that said " yes, yes i do have feelings for you" i wanted to kiss you that morning regardless of the consequences that would happen next.
I don't care who youre in a relationship with i have never met a person like you. the amazing H. I want you so badly that i need you and I feel like we've had this lifetimes ago if you believe in that.
The next time that i wanted to kiss you was that trip we took together just you and i. i remember i was just staring at you because the way you get shy and the way you care about everyone. how you are so sweet i just love that about you. it makes you so much more beautiful than you already are, gorgeous and breathtaking, and i couldn't help myself feel like falling for you all over again, you are someone that i feel I've never experienced in anyone else you are truly one of a kind, a rarity and i feel like this is something that you know. and you looked at me smiling and you said "what?" remember? and there was so much i couldn't say then, i wanted to kiss you then, right there. you are so kissable i don't know if you know that but i feel like you walked out of my dream and stumbled into my life. its insane how you make me feel so attached and yet we haven't been able to express how we feel to each other. i mean i think you feel the same. i feel at least you would kiss me back which that feeling alone is so irresistable. I'm surprised i managed this long with all the times i actually wanted to kiss you
and you know what... I'm really tired of being the good guy Why and what is that getting me? I miss you and i want you and i want you now. i cant wait any longer. i feel that i am going to lose you
actually that's why I'm writing is that last time really scared me into feeling like I'm really close to losing you
even tho you were just as beautiful hot irresistable as much as any other time, there was this level of being far away in your behavior. maybe its because you were tired that it felt like distance for me. and maybe its because i miss you. but it felt like you were emotionally leaving me behind. it felt like you lost hope in us ever being a thing maybe you lost your patience with me. like i ran out of time to tell you how i felt because i barely realized what you meant to me when i saw you last. it just all came rushing in why i love you.why i fell in love with you
I just felt like shit about the situation i felt like i shouldn't be feeling the way i feel for you because youre with someone else. and i have just been working on being a better person but that meant denying that this connection had anything more than what felt like intrusive lust for you.
please don't let me go. I'm coming over and I'm going to tell you then, I'm actually packing now. and i want things to be okay between us because i love you and i want you to know how much you mean to me. ill be there soon
submitted by Desired_Reply888 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:45 yerledlana ex fbuddy (42m) refuses to speak to me (f25) at all

okay, to give some background, I was seeing this guy for a few months. We got on pretty well and would see each other almost every weekend. I got pregnant, and he wanted me to have an abortion (I didn't want to), but I did it anyway cos I thought it would be the best thing to do for the both of us. He was also aware of the fact that I wanted to keep it, and kept insisting that i get one even though I told him he doesn't have to be in the childs life at all. He didn't support me in any way during the abortion, didn't even ask how I was, and how it went. When we eventually talked (2 days after the abortion), the only thing he kept saying "did you take care of our situation?"Did you get rid of it?" and kept constantly saying things along those lines. It made me feel really shit that he didn't even have the decency to see how I was, so I told him I never want to see him or speak to him again. I got drunk about a week later and started calling him and texting him that I miss him and that i want to speak to him, and he inevitably blocked me, lol. This was 3 weeks ago. I called him today with no caller id to get some stuff, and he said he threw it away. I just don't understand how someone can be so cold and mean. It's like he hates me when he is the one in the wrong!!! I don't know what to do, i can't even avoid him as he lives literally less than a minute away from me
TL;DR ex fbuddy who lives a street away from me refuses to speak to me at all. Any advice?
submitted by yerledlana to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:45 Medical-Fly-5276 Anyone Else Not Like the Potion System?

call me a d2 fanboy all you want, but it seems weird and less fun that potions are on cooldown.
Drinking a potion isnt a skill its an item. so why is it not stackable? especially since elixers are a thing now..
minor gripe i know, throughly enjoyed the beta, i just think id ive enjoyed it more if i was able to stock up on potions before a boss and was forced to use them wisely, rather than said boss shitting out some potions now and then
submitted by Medical-Fly-5276 to diablo4 [link] [comments]





To successfully clone a dump in 2022-2023, you need Official Smartcard Software Bundle You can get it Here. This process will only work with the updated smartcard software. Ensure you are using the correct one. There are a lot of fake software going around. This one is completely clean and does not require you to turn off any antivirus. Contains everything you need to card.
After you have the Official Smartcard Software Bundle, you are going to follow the steps below very carefully. One wrong move will mess up the entire process.


#1. Open jcopEnglish
#2. Inserted your blank (Java Card J2A040 suggested) into your respective card reader.
#3. Click “Delete JCOP Files”
#4. Under “Script Type” select “Debit”
#5. As a final step click on “Format JCOP Chip”
#6. Once done, remove your blank. In this case, we'll be using a "Java Card J2A040” for maximum compatibility.
Format is now complete.
(Use jcopManager to ensure your card is unfused!)

Part One Of The Cloning Process

#1. Open the X2 2021 and click on the “IST Generate” option (top left).
#2. Click on the “Read Card” button (middle bottom).
#3. From the details that appear on the screen “Copy Track 2 Data.”
#4. Click on the “EMV” option (located top left).
#5. Paste that “Track 2” data and replace “D” located in the middle of “Track 2” with “=”
#6. Insert “Card Holders Name” in its field it should be in “LAST NAME FIRST NAME” format (insert capital letters).
#7. In “Application Label Field” insert “Card type” in our case it’s “VISA DEBIT” (insert capital letters).
#8. In “Track 1 Discretion Data”, checkmark the box first then delete the “Default Value” that gets generated, then click on the “IST Generate” tab to copy “Track 1” then go back to the “EMV” tab and insert “Track 1” in its field there.
#9. In the “Credit” field select your card type select “VISA” as our card was VISA (make sure to check track 1 again as changing the value in this section will replace Track 1 with a default value, so if that happens just replace that default value with Track 1 again) and in “Writer” field is “MCR200” as our hardware is MCR200.
#10. In “AID” for “VISA” it’s “31010” for master it’s going to be “41010” so we typed “31010”
#11. In “Country Code” insert your country code, ours is “0840” for the US.
#12. In the “PIN” box insert your “Card/Dump Pin”
#13. In “Currency Code” insert your “Card/Dump Currency Code” for USD its “0840”
#14. In the “ARQC” section just “ignore that” for now.
#15. For “Pref Name” we can leave that “as it is” for now.
#16. For “Effective Date” click on the “Change Data” checkmark and then see the “Expiry Date” and Reverse it 4 years so for example if the expiry date of the card/dump is 28/02/2022 the “Effective Date” AKA Issue Date would be 28/02/2018 and you will insert it in “YYMMDD” format like “180228” inside “Effective Date”
#17. For “Expiration Date” check the “IST Generate” tab and then see the “Expiry Date” on that page for example if the expiry date of the card/dump is 28/02/2022 you will go back to the “EMV tab” and insert it in “YYMMDD” format like “220228”
#18. Now take out the “Original Test Card” and insert the “Java White Card” to clone in your “MCR200” (or otherwise applicable) hardware.
#19. Now it’s time to burn the “White Java Card” by clicking on the “Credit” button located at the bottom right.
#20. You will see once you click “Credit” the “MCR200” will start writing and once done it will say “Completed Job.”
#21. Leave everything as it is! Step one is complete.

Part Two Of The Cloning Process

#22. Click on the “IST Generate” tab and then click on the “Read Card” button at the bottom.
#23. You must see the same data as you did when you inserted the “Original Test Card” and clicked on “Read Card” in “Step 1 and 2” and if you see the same info then congrats, let’s get to the next step.
#24. Now go to the “IST Generate” tab you see on top and click on the “Save” button that you see top right beside the “load” button, it will ask you to save that file with the “ZLD” extension so save it at the desktop with whatever name you like, Now you will click on “load” button and browse this file that you just saved with “ZLD” extension and it will say “Successfully Loaded Tree data from a file.”
#25. Now on the same “IST Generate” page, it’s time to click on the “Generate IST” button that you see at the bottom and save that with whatever name, it will save with extension “IST” we will need this file later in step “35 below”.
#26. Now go to “EMV tab” and copy “Track 2” then go back in “IST Load” and paste that “Track 2” in there, you do NOT need to fill in any other details on this page.
#27. Now you will open “BP tools Cryptographic Calculator”
#28. In the top tabs of this “Bp Tools Cryptographic Calculator,” you will see the “EMV” tab click on it and select “Application Cryptograms” then select “EMV 4.2” and you will see you will end up on a screen with “UDK” tab selected.
#29. Now you will see options boxes for “MDK” “PAN” and “PAN Seq Nr” you will also see “UDK Derivation Option” with “Option A” and “Key Parity” with “Odd” Selected.
#30. The only thing you need to change on this screen is “PAN” which obviously stands for “Primary Account Number” and you will get that from your “Track 2” so see the first 16 digit number that is also the “16 Digit Card Number.”
#31. Go back to X2 2021 and in the “EMV tab” you will see the “first 16 digits of the card number” copy them and now go to the “BP tools calculator” to replace the default PAN number with “Your own PAN number” leave everything as default.
#32. Now you will click on the “Green Padlock” and you will see that will add “MDK” and “UDK” inside the “output screen” on the right side.
#33. Then you will click on the next tab called “Common Session Key” and without changing anything “Click the padlock” this will add more data such as “Common Session Key Derivation” and other keys in our “Output Screen”
#34. Then click on the second last tab called “AAC/ARQC/TC” and hit the “Green Padlock” now this is the last step to get what we are looking for see the bottom of your “Output Screen” and you will see the “AC Generated Number” and that’s the ARQC we are looking for, so copy that number and close this “BP tool” as all the work for this is done.
#35. Go back to X2 2021 in the “IST Load” tab and paste that “Ac Generated Number” from BP tools inside the “ARQC 1” box, now its time to browse the file that you saved with the “IST” extension in “Step 25” above by clicking the “Open” button.
#36. Once you have the “IST File Path” + Track 2 + ARQC 1″ on this page it’s time to click on the “Burn” button.
#37. Once you have done everything right you will see the “Completed Job” popup.
#38. The “Java White Card” is now written and ready to go!

Possible Reasons your Card Failed:

- Bad or Fake software. MAKE SURE YOU ARE USING THE OFFICIAL SMARTCARD BUNDLE FOR 2022-2023 HERE: https://atrstudio.org/product/allinone-smartcard-bundle/
- Bad Dump (Fake, Used, or Empty Balance)
- Old Dump (Dumps need to be active, old card info is likely less active. ARQC changes every ATM use.)
- Bad ATR / IST / Dump Type Match Up (Incorrect IST with ATR) (I.E Bank Of America Visa Credit Cards IST FILE, AND ATR must match the DUMP.)
- Incompatible Blanks (Ensure that you're using the correct blanks. If you bought them for 30 cents a piece, they're not what we're looking for.)
- Impatience/Bad Luck (Don't skip a single step. Cloning is a game of patience, luck and persistence.)
submitted by ATRDoctor to u/ATRDoctor [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:44 Haunted_Barnacle Film production in a private house

Hi! We live in a really old house in south central Kottayam, and over the last three months a bunch of folks making some big shot movie have come around a couple of times and have now more or less finalized the location. They're going to need use of a lounge room, dining room and a closed verandah for 2 day's time. And outdoors.
We haven't spoken money yet, but they asked for our 'gpay number' which we said can be discussed in due course. For a reference point, if anyone else has had a similar experience, what would private home owners usually ask for this?
They said they will take care of food for two days (they'll set up a kitchen outside), but I think a chunky wad of compensation is called for since it's a fair bit of inconvenience other than that.
submitted by Haunted_Barnacle to Kerala [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:43 Icy_History_4728 Report

People ask me how was your trip. I'm much better at describing what hapnnes then to give a response. I could actually use your help how would you describe the experience after reading it. I read other people's reports and admire how they can be concise and insightful. I'm also jealous when I see these blissful and healing and peaceful moments descriptions. But, it is what it is.
Did it on a naturalist beautif setting. With a facilitator I didn't know beforehand and overheard about him. He was a bit of an hectic dude. Never really with you, always doing many things at once, as well as sudden stops while driving to the setting. I was hesitant but felt that his intentions are good and when the lights will be on, it will be fine.
I talked to him a night before and he said a doctor is going to be there, his friend. On the way to the setting, we were all in the same car, and the guy said he never graduated but worked In a hospital. He didn't want to say what he did there but he was talking about the hotrible dids of big pharmaceutical. All this didn't add to the trust. I still felt it's alright, his hurt was In the right place.
It was the facilitator and a few others holding space with instruments. He said he has done +200 ceremonies. I did it with another participant who was also in his head and scared, and critical. I was told each one will do it separately when the other one is watching.
I was anxious but was feeling OK that i am handling it. Was doing deep breathing. Wrote my intentions. Then the other participant kind of shove a lighter in my head without asking me, while both I'm busy writing and self reflecting just befor its my turn. Felt inconsiderate and disrespectful but I was too obnoxious or occupied to pay attention and understand what's going on.
Now, as a usual pattern, I was blaming myself for that (beaten wife syndrome?). Because just betor that, he was loudly and anxiously sharing with the facilitator, that he had an emotional breakdown last time he took psychedelics. It's the second time I heard him sharing that with another person, not me, but right in my ears. Since it was just before my turn to smock, and i was writing my intentions, I felt the need to move away. But I immediately felt bad and scared he will feel rejected when he is already as he is. So I came back and did a bit of weird turn to pretend i wasn't trying to move away. All showing uncertainty, indecisiveness amd weakness.
I asked him what to do with it (it was for burning then paper of what I want to let go), he madly burst at me: idk as the facilitator! That didn't feel right to enter in that state but I didn't know what else to do. In my reflecting later I understood how this is one of the things I wanted to manifest: assertiveness and standing up for myself. Fucking stand up for myself when someone pisses on you. This is so hard for me to do. Especially with men, due to unresolved trauma with a mad, jealous and abusing brother.
So yes. Stand up, even before a ceremony, it doesn't matter! It won't make things worse or what ever excuse I had in my head. I could stand up for myself using I statements. Or anything that isn't necessarily confrontational. But boy was that hard. Confronting that scared man who didn't seem to be mindful of the impact of his actions and body language at all, or just didn't care. Before entering my mat, I looked at him and said good luck. I was trying to appease things and get some acknowledgment of mutual support. He briefly replied but it didn't really help. I guess that was me trying to control things, or rather actually solve things which is good and could have worked in other circumstances.
I stepped in my mat, preparing to smock a light dose, I was very worried about that guy, trust me, it didn't feel good having this severe scowling face, standing in the supposed to be his designated area, the participant area on my left. I could feel his energy and I was as tense as it can get. He was in my energy field. And an energetic split has occurred. I had a few people support me on my side, and this guy on my left. I started feeling anxious and bad, damn if I say something damn if I don't.
I moves the facilitator away and told him he was aggressive, he sais he is just scared. I stepped back to my mat, and for some very odd reason, the facilitator decided to call that guy to my mat. Explaining us something about the setting. He already explained befor to both of us, so, thinking afterwards, it felt like a forced attempt to "bring us together", or to not make him feel isolated. Which it shouldn't. It was set in advance to be every one doing it separately.
So this caused my anxious state to go to the roof. He stayed behind me on my mat, standing there, with his not calming state /energy to say thr lease. I felt trapped. Didn't want to create "separation or fear ". Was judging myself all this spiritual chatter that I should create oneness not fear, hence crating more guilt and shame to the all plate, also wondering if the others judge me for that. But I felt very unsafe so I had to set bounderies. There was no choice. I was afraid that setting this boundery will make the trip worse because he will feel rejected and I'll be responsible for that.
But no time, here we go. I just hinted to the facilitator about it, and his response was sub optimal. He asked everyone to move back. No dumbass! I need these guys and feel their support! You just need to say to that dude to back off to his designated area as fucking agree upon!
I just turned around and said thanks to all of them, making eye contact with them, hinting to them that my issue is not with them! I love them and their calming presence. It was very confusing. As is the character of the facilitator. I didn't want this guy to feel excluded so I looked at him and said to him thanks too. He just very briefly looked back, it wasn't the kind of energy I needed that moment. The last interaction befor smocking, what I needed was support and acceptance. Why was I looking for that instead of protecting myself? But, I guess, hello people pleaser?! Hello self sabotage pattern.
Anyway, I smocked a light dose, sitting down. It was bliss. A very good experience. But that split was there. Him on that left side. Made it hard to let go and feel at ease and comfortable. I stood up back pretty fast. Got another dose. 30mg. Lied down. It was bliss. Not sure how to describe it. I was still feeling self conscious at some points because of that person's present and my fears around it. But for some brief moments I was gone. Then back. Then gone again.
At one point I felt one with everyone but I was resisting it because I felt like I need to protect myself from feeling one with everyone including him. And his struggles. That I will take it as mine, as well as his ancestors, and that will be too much. I know myself and my sensitivity. And indeed it was too strong and had to consciously get back to myself to tap my feet and shake myself of it, to get back thre sense of self. Having his mad image in my head at that point was bad. Not pleasant.
I tried recalling my intentions, positive self talk being one of them, and felt an instant relief. I could finally surrender to bliss. Had a slight smile on my face. I was very quickly back up. Was dancing a bit. The facilitator asked if I want to go deeper. I barley knew what he is talking about but I felt like going with his instincts. Let's go! I am here for a breakthrough and become free of this same anxiety and stress and social anxiety that it is killing me. That Is causing me to be lonely, no friends or partners. So let's go!! It's time!!! I can do it!
Did this time 60mg. I had no idea how much is in there, found out later. I inhaled and lied down, exhaling just a bit. He was telling me "hold it hold it". I was afraid of having a bad one because of not feeling comfortable. So exhaled unintentionally just a bit then kept holding.
Lied down, I was gone. It was pretty much the same as last time. But more used to it, I was gone a bit far more this time. Surrendering. But also felt like surrender makes me not live the experience, just subcomining to what ever comes. Like a lifeless body. But I was mostly just letting anything happen. It was peaceful, it was slight disappointment of coming back quickly.
They were pouring water on my face which felt good. Tapping my body. I was scared I am dying or that I passed out and they are trying to keep me alive.
Shortly enough I was happy to get back to my senses. I sat down in lotus position. Peace and calm. Stood up and felt very alive and happy to be back. That it's over. And I'm ok.
After math :
I think I got a bit more anxious then I used to be, a week later. I'm tapping myself on my chest very often in social situations. Without even noticing! Very susceptibile and sensitive to others state, feeling nasua and obnoxious when a women is standing over my shoulders on a long ride bus because she has a feet issue, although there are plenty of free sits. I can feel her sickness and energy and struggle with not feeling sick myself.
I felt very vulnerable and not good for a while, had some romantic failure, an extremely hot women was showing romantic interest in me in the day of the ceremony. I was giving off very good and fun energy I guess. She wanted me to join her travels, I did, then I fell back in my anxiety and stress (if she will reject me or not, will i fuck it up or not), and she lost interest, so that was a long painful free fall as we were both in the same hostel for a few days. It's a trigger because it's a patten, hot women find me initially attractive then quickly abandon me).
On the first few days I felt out of sorts and couldn't do my self care routines. Was eating unhealthy. Couldn't journal or meditate coherently. Was escaping to my phone a lot. But I caught myself and trying to not fall back to theee habits. Rather continue my good habits and healthy lifestyle I started a few months ago. Sunlight exposure, workouts, healthy food, sleep, social connections.
My online new psychologist said: "can we be more careful next time, not causing more emotional harm on the our quest to heal, which only causes more harm"? I don't know if she is right, could be just a matter of how I look at it and what I focus on. Positive or not positive aspects of the experience.
I'm hanging in there. And full of hope that the realizations and benefits, besides those I already had, can be manifested in the long run. Aho.
What I learned. To be more assertive. More empathetic. But I already new that.
I can't control other people's thoughts or states. As painful as it is to discover this..
My own well being is a bug priority. Without self care. Bounderies. I can't take care of anyone else and am good to no one. So shame can go out the window.
TL;DR (feels a bit impersonal, but good enough, made by CHATPTG): I attended a ceremony in a natural setting, facilitated by a hectic but well-intentioned individual, along with another participant who was struggling with his own fears. The experience was marked by my anxiety, self-consciousness, and the need to assert boundaries with the other participant. Despite these challenges, I experienced moments of bliss and oneness. After the ceremony, I felt more vulnerable and sensitive, but I'm focusing on self-care and healthy habits. Key lessons include the importance of assertiveness, empathy, and prioritizing my own well-being
submitted by Icy_History_4728 to 5MeODMT [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 02:43 magat3ars I'm sure it's not totally unique to this generation, but the political larping within Gen-Z is cringe.

It's usually my peers who are in liberal arts. I'm left wing, and I understand most of the other people in those classes are gonna be more left than me especially within progressive politics. My problem is the talk and the do.
The talk: "working is inherently exploitative" "we need to eat the rich" "systems are ran by old racist white men" Bernie 2024 XD or my favorite "ACAB"
The do: Does the talking but won't vote or encourage others to vote. They're only encouraging others to cry about their wants without seeking that change.
2nd week in class and I felt stupid. People were arguing voting doesn't matter despite being political. The professor encourages friendly debate, but it's mind numbing how everyone in there doesn't care about vote except for a few people. It was also wild people discussing the view in Romanticism without a second thought. People are so open minded their brains fall out. You say in a nice way, and you can make a person hate humanity's progress.
It doesn't help that the professor is so overall liberal he views both sides as equally bad. It also didn't help that they went on a tangent about late stage capitalism, and everything will go under soon COPIUM.
You leave a class like this, and become super Black pilled about voting and cement into being super anti establishment. I'm just not sure if most us learned the history of voting rights for people in America. Maybe it's me having people who religiously voted, or it's those people voting because they grew up with someone who once couldn't legally vote. I feel a push because there's no reason not to, and it's a right and a privilege.
It's a mostly white class, and it's female dominated as well. I would think they'd understand the importance, but it's kinda sad they don't care. I've seen it before, but it's never been so deliberate. It was generally due to laziness. Maybe a lot of them got burned by Bernie not making it. It doesn't hurt to be somewhat patriotic and be happy Trump isn't in office. We can also praise Joe for his political accomplishments.
Also it's not even my class. It's friends as well. It's kinda sad when they bring up issues they'd like to see reform on. There was an issue on our last election about weed in particular. My friend brought this up without knowing about it. So politically motivated, yet they will not take 5 minutes to vote or 10 to read up on what's being voted on.
To wrap it up, I can't stand this. It's cringe when I see 18+ year olds still larping like a Jreg video. It's cringe when you have people urging this cringe "voting doesn't matter and the system will fall one day." It's super lazy impressionable kids. It's sad seeing online cringe like anti work, some large communist internet community #54667, or someone in an influencing role encouraging this cringe behavior. Hope it changes soon.
submitted by magat3ars to Destiny [link] [comments]