Nourish move love

📅 August 1st - January 23rd 🎓 Great location for students
Conveniently located next to bus 7 route, Flag store, Quacks Bakery, Ney Museum and neighborhood pool. Close to UT and downtown. Can bus or bike very easily to UT.
Quiet and nice neighbors. Responsive maintenance. Cute sunroom, can be used as a study. Honestly, we love this apartment but we've since graduated and are moving to a larger location.
📸 More pics upon request and/or tour.
📝 Application fees apply (will go through property management)
🧼 We will get the apartment professionally cleaned before you move in.

hey!
here’s what I look like
I’m in chicago, in the middle of my phd, using the sacred few hours of sleep I got to scroll reddit while binging on the trashiest reality TV and early 00s MTV music videos… I’m known for taking wise choices :P
a few sentences about myself
I’m a very proud mexican doing his phd in theoretical biophysics in the US (somewhere in the midwest). sometimes I like to think I’m super smart… then I remember how much trashy reality tv trivia I know. tbh, since moving here I’ve been aching to meet people that aren’t related to my professional or academic sphere, and rarely got the time to do much outside the lab, so, here I am, it seems meeting people online could be good bet :O
some random trivia

• my work is on machine learning and proteins
• love running and cycling, pretty much any heavy cardio activity
• love playing soccer but suck at it
• love signing but suck at it
• love drawing but suck at it
• I only sing in spanish, because I got a thiccc accent and feel a bit self-conscious singing in english
• expert in early 00s shitty pop music
• best disney movie is ratatouille
• most overrated disney movie is up
• love dancing cumbia and bachata… and actually do not suck at it! lmao
• can move my ears on command
• have lived in 4 countries, 6 cities, 2 continents
• I’m trying to get into video games. help? I have a swtich, xbox, and pc
• not a fan of scifi or fantasy :(
• once got jump-scared by a possum while riding my bike
• knows two and a half languages
• love crafts (specially origami) and playing the accordion

here are two truths and a lie

• I was personally invited to a fancy rooftop party by a google hotshot, but bailed on it
• a mexican bill saved my life while I was stranded in serbia
• I was suspended from middle school for burning a whiteboard with body spray and a lighter

If you're interested in talking, send me a line about yourself!

(throwaway account - will probably delete)
I have been struggling with "my" heritage (quotations because I do not feel Assyrian at all) ever since I was a child. I grew up in a large Iraqi Chaldean diaspora center, but I have spent a considerate amount of time around Assyrians from all over. What I can say is that Assyrians and Chaldeans are practically identical in behavior. So, this isn't a sectarian post.
Even if it's taboo to say, I am anonymous and hopefully this will help another Assyrian girl. My family is incredibly physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive. There are many things I do not want to go into detail about. I basically had to raise myself after the age of 8; my mom did not see a point in taking care of me the same way she did for my brothers. I had to cook and clean for myself, and the emotional support and love any child would have had was out of the question for me. As a teenager, when you need your mom the most, mine was absent and neglected me to suffer alone. Even during high school, my parents did not care about my education, and my mom regulated me to her maid who did all of her cleaning, instead of having me focus on studying.
My parents were very strict and isolated me from my friends. I wasn't allowed to go out or invite people over unless they were Assyrian girls approved by my parents. I missed out on a lot of genuine friendships and normal development other teenage girls would have. The Assyrian girls I was allowed to be friends with were backstabbing and did whatever they could to take me down. As a result, I spent my entire teenage years isolated and rejected because I was only allowed to socialize with Assyrians. I went to elementary and high school with Chaldeans, and it was one of the most miserable times of my life. I had to hear all the time from my own kind how ugly I was, how weird, people would take pics of me to post online and mock. For those 4 years I was endlessly bullied by mostly Chaldean girls.
I was fortunate enough to move out two years ago, and it really hurt me realizing that all the awful things my family and others told me about my personality wasn't true. I know I am not "weird" or whatever horrible things they said that it hurts to repeat, because I have no problem making friends outside of the culture. I finally have a good social life, but with non-Assyrians. I tried chalking it up to bad experiences, but every. single. Assyrian/Chaldean. girl. I. know. is like horrible. If I go to church and I'm friendly, they will still find ways to be passively aggressive, isolate me and gossip. I do nothing wrong, I just don't understand.
Assyrian /Chaldean behavior is identical to the same mshlmaneh they trash 24/7. They have the same dishonesty, envy, backstabbing, jealousy, and misogyny that mshlmane do. I truly cannot emphasize how dishonest and jealous the culture is. It is absolutely disgusting to me and the main reason why I have never fit in. I am not "blunt" or harsh with people; their feelings matter a lot to me. However, I cannot be two faced and lie. That led to a lot of abuse from my mother and female cousins, who tried to (literally) beat it out of me or break me down for it. Every Assyrian/Chaldean I know talks shit about their own family, and closest of friends. I have seen too much fucked up, unChristian behavior from our kind. We are encouraged to be deceptive, and anyone who denies this is continuing the problem.
I had a friend who hates being Chaldean and married a white man, and acts white - while also exhibiting all of these issues. I don't want to be like her. I can't run away from it forever, and I truly want to accept my heritage, but how can I, after all of this? I cannot imagine passing down Sureth to my children, because it's a language of hatred. This subreddit is the longest I have spent around Assyrians, because in person, I get panic attacks. I am an immigrant, whose first language is Sureth, who looks very Assyrian, but struggle because I fit in nowhere.
I hope the mods keep this post up because it's a big issue not only for me but for a lot of other young Assyrians. I can't talk about it with my nakhraye friends, and no one understands.

So I'm AP and I'm going on this healing journey. I'm taking some space (3 weeks) from my FA partner so we can both heal. To respect her, I'm not going to comment much on our relationship. But I wanna talk about my "healing journey" so whoever may respond to this post gets a better understanding of why I feel like I'm becoming avoidant. Here's what I've been up to:

• I ended a 10 year friendship today. I know he was trying to be my friend but he spoke very unkindly of someone I care deeply about and he yelled about it. I instantly shut down when I heard the voice messages of him yelling and I immediately unfriended him. I am very sad about this but I can't tolerate that at all
  
• I had a long talk with my mom and told her she was a terrible parent growing up. I threw everything that I could think of that she's done to me in her face. I don't regret it and this conversation has been ongoing. My mom is an 8th grade dropout and has the brain of a monkey. Every time she says something so fucking stupid, I feel rage inside me. I don't know how to resolve this feeling but I'm working on it. I love her but I also hate her. They say you are supposed to respect your parents but I don't think you deserve respect if you moved your kid around so much that they went to 11 different school districts bc you couldn't stop hopping from dick to dick. I walked in on her and some random dude when I was in the 4th grade. He took us out to eat that night and he told me he was gonna be my new dad. He was gone a week later. That kind of shit affects you and fuck my mom for not thinking of what's best for her fucking child
  
• After a day of getting lashed out at by my best friend, lashing out at my mom, and dealing with my daughter's mom who won't do what's best for our daughter and fucking coparent properly with me, I talked to my stepmom on the phone and broke down. My dad came in whatever room she was in and asked what was going on. I told my dad that I wish we had a better relationship. I told him that I don't feel close with him at all. My stepmom told me she was glad I finally told him how I feel. I've always been afraid of my dad. I'm 31 years old btw. My partner and I are taking our daughter on a vacation to visit our families in Virginia next week. My dad and I are going golfing for Father's Day with my grandpa. Hopefully we bond and I don't feel like an anxious wreck like I do any other time I'm around him
  

Throughout all of this, I didn't feel like reaching out to my partner until today and it was only for a brief moment when I felt like I was spiraling and didn't want to feel like I have no one. I'm at the point where I don't want to feel lonely but I want to be alone. I only want my daughter around me. I feel like I'm healing by getting all of this out and I feel like this will be good for me and my relationship, but I feel like I may be shifting from anxious to avoidant when I'm trying to become secure. But I'm avoiding almost everyone. Burning fucking bridges. Idk if this is healthy and it's not like I can call my therapist at 11:30 at night to ask her haha. I haven't been anxiously thinking about my partner like I usually would be. I'm genuinely trying to work thru this shit so I can be a better me and it's fucking hard. But I didn't reach out to her today for the fear of rejection. Normally the AP in me would cave. But I just want to be alone which is NOT like me. Is this me becoming avoidant? Is this common?
HALP

As a woman the main people who were interested or attracted to me were men, who i did not enjoy the attention of whatsoever. even if they didnt come across as creepy or shallow and came from a place of emotion and good intent, i still just didnt care if they liked me 1% because them liking me didnt activate any dopamin or reward points in my brain. i either felt neutral about it or bad/disgusted. men liking me has NEVER amounted up to the way i felt when women liked me as a man bc the way the two sexes showed interest in me was just very different and ill get into that a little bit. anyway, women also showed attraction to me as a woman, but it was much less intense and much more subtle like just a quick comment like "you're hot" or "would you ever date someone like me? (playfully)"
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as a trans man, i just had a lot more women interested in me in a way that felt different. it was much more intense and direct and women appeared to be being DIRECT for once, blatantly stating thei desires and feelings. this was majorly on dating apps by the way. but id get a lot more physical compliments such as being handsome or beautiful, or the most handsome guy theyve seen, i have been called the nicest man theyve never met, sweetest man, most adorable or cute man, etc. i have had multiple women say they adore my voice and asking me to send them audio clips of it - even tho my male voice was/is extremtly annoying and nasally. i have had women be much more quick to want to commit to me. the time period in my life when i was dating the most was as a trans man. it was like, date after date. most women into me were bisexual women but i also had a good chunk of straight women who just declared theirself as being into femboys/soft guys/more feminine or gentle guys. i felt very very adored and for the first time in my life i felt sexy too. even though i wanna make it clear that i look much more attactive as a woman, because my features match a lot of what society says is attractive in a woman, mainly in the face. despite looking better as a woman than a man, it was only when i became a trans man that for the first time i ever, i felt sexy. i think it mainly had to do with the way women would dote on me online and give me so much (undeserved) praise and i basically felt like a sexy trans man god because of the way they were reacting to me. i just felt very attractive as a trans man, it felt good to be desired by peopple i wanted to desire me, and in the way i wanted to BE desired.
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thats another thing. women or men liking me as a woman never feels/felt right because its always very feminine. and it was basically always based on me being feminine or looking feminine. but as a trans man i could video call a girl bare faced with fucking acne and the woman would call me a handsome cutie pie. if i did that as a woman.. yeah, i wouldnt have gotten that reaction. there were higher expectations on what to look and/or act like as a woman in order to match up to an ideal, i feel like. and also the feminine treatment that came along with someone perceiving me as a feminine being and treating me as such, and my worth as being a sexy person or not being reliant on how feminine i am... you can see why i didnt feel sexy as a woman. because it was so tied to how much of a "woman" i was. meanwhile as a trans man, i could be masculine, feminine, anything i wanted, and i still got all this praise. the women just liked me as a being, not because of a performance i was doing.
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and also like i said earlier, i didnt get as much attention from women as a woman. if i did, it was super subtle and shy and didnt usually lead anywhere and it was mild. for some reason when i became a man, women seemed to take me more seriou and actually see me as a sexual partner and a sexual being. i feel like as a woman i got seen as like, a child, by women. i wasnt seen as a sexual partner, just like a cute thing to look at and call cute as a passing comment and then move on. but as a trans man women were actually wanting to f me and/or chat me up to see about possibly dating. it probablly doesnt help that as a woman i looked super young for my age, but still. as a trans man i felt very adored, almost idolized sometimes.
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anyway the attention i get as a woman is mostly from men, and even though i suppose that i like bothe women and men, i guess, i still just.. dont enjoy the attention straight men give to me as a woman. i just dont. i dont know why, i just dont, and i never have. in fact, almost all my earliest childhood memories was of me running away from or avoiding boys who liked me, and me calling them gross and rejecting them. i just dont like attention from straight men romantically or sexually. but do i like attention from straight or bi women? yes. most specifically, i like it as a man. why? because of the reasons i just listed up there
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i dont know exactly why women seemed to love me a lot more as a trans man. number one i was on a lot of lgbt dating platforms so that probably played a role. they probably were a fan of trans men as a whole. and secondly, maybe it had to do with being more interesting or enticing than a cis person? thirdly a lot of women seemed to like me for basically having the "emotional intlligence and/or socialization" of a woman, but looking male. but as a cis woman, i guess it is more boring and/or predictable and thats why i got less attention? i dont know. but i just know that all my most INTENSE dating experiences came from living as a trans man, not as a woman, even though the amount of people that desired me as a woman were higher as a whole. it sometimes makes it hard to not want to go back to that. being a trans man to experience that again. i really did soak and bathe in the praise. everytime i got called handsome, everytime i got called the cutest guy theyve ever seen, everytime id get complimented by these women, it really made me feel attractive in a way ive never felt before in my life, and thats easy to miss. i dont really feel attractive as a woman even tho i know i am. i can see in the mirror that i look okay. but i dont see sexy or attractive as a woman, and men's interest in me does not excite me, make me happy, or make me feel attractive. idk its jusst hard to explain.
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basically to summarize, i only like romantic and sexual attention as a trans man, not as a woman. and no i dont have any sexual traumas or issues relating to gender. oh also i just wanna add that for some reason i got a fuck ton more kinky as a trans man but i think that was probably just the libido increase. i became interested in things i am not into as a woman. for example if someone wanted to tie me down and whip me as a woman, or lick/suck a body part of mine as a woman it would be a hell no. but as a trans man it was always a hell yes.

tl;dr: Walked onto Ultra 4 tournament on deployment. Managed to get bodied by the tourney leads and still place 3rd in the tournament.
During my service in the Air Force, I had the opportunity to deploy to the UAE for 6 months (AF Vets, you know the base. Great Vacation, yes I know AF vets, don't come for me...), and I had the opportunity to participate in my first and only fighting game tourney I've ever competed in. I walked into the game room we had there one day to see a laptop with Ultra Street Fighter 4 on practice mode playing and a bunch of people standing around in the doorway. I walked up and asked one of the guys standing around what's going on and he said that there's about to be an Ultra SF4 tournament led by two dudes for shigs & bragging rights. I'm like, "Well damn this is kinda sick. Just walk on to a fighting game tournament and compete!? Hell Yeah, I want in on some of this action." All in all I think there was about 10-12 players. Only about 5 of us, myself included had even played a fighting game before...
I ended up being like the 3rd match I think, so since I had time before the match I was watching the ongoing matches to see what levels of players I would be dealing with (I'm about a 6.5/10 fighting gamer. At the time I understood how SF played basically and knew most of the special inputs for the shotos. FADC, wtf is that!? Fuzzy guard break, umm huh? EX Moves? Press 2 or more punches/kicks right? I could get the job done well against non-players with the Shotos but that was about it... My main was Ryu btw lol) What I saw next stopped me in my tracks and let me know how this whole tournament was about to go down. I noticed that while everyone was playing in PS4 pads, the two dudes who initiated/were running the tournament HAD THEIR FIGHTSTICKS WITH THEM!!! These dudes had packed their fightsticks in their bags to use them while on deployment! I couldn't believe it. So I knew immediately that those two were gonna be the SNK bosses in this tourney and most likely the winner and runner-up lol. To my surprise, in retrospect, I was 100% right. Something in me knew there was no way I was winning this tourney, but I wanted to see how well I could place and gauge my skills and how I play in a somewhat real competitive setting for the first time.
So my strategy when competing in anything is never showing 100% of my ability unless absolutely necessary. I strive to maintain the element of surprise for as long as I possibly can. So when I compete against someone better than me I can maybe beat them by using their preconceived notions about my skills against them and steal victory from the jaws of defeat lol. Use their overconfidence against them to eek out a W. So in all my matches against the non-gamers I would ultimately beat them but make it look like they had me. Only pulling out the tricks I know if they might take me in a match. Kinda like playing against a kid. You go easy on them until your life bar gets a little too low... Which I had to do with one guy who noticed my strat and called me out because my playing style totally changed lol. I told him "shh don't reveal my secret strategy..." and he laughed about it because he understood what I was doing.
Unfortunately my next match or in retrospect my "Pre-Pre-Losers Bracket Match" was against one of the Fight Stick Brothers. He chose Guile and I had Ryu and he ABSOLUTELY BODIED ME! He didn't perfect me but his victory was absolute lol. He finished me off with style by using Guile's Air Command Grab. I didn't even know he could do that at the time! My next match was against the other Stick Bro. He chose Poison and I had Ryu once again. It was here where I experienced what the term "Touch of Death" TRULY MEANS. Tournament was Best of Two and this guy touched me with Poison and I was done. All 4 rounds went as such: Match Start - I would run - He'd inevitably touch me - Combo - Dizzy - Poison Wins! I managed to tap him for damage maybe twice, but to no avail. To Losers Bracket I went, but I had the man's respect for at least being able to damage him twice.
Losers bracket went the same as before except everyone knows I'm decent now so they're trying extra hard to beat me. I managed to come out with no losses from the non-gamers (pats self on back) and make it back to the Guile Stick Bro. I'd love to tell a story about how I managed to eek out a win against him but Id be lying my ass off! This man BODIES ME EVEN HARDER than the first time with Guile again (Charge players scare me T_T). However to my shock, I wasn't paying attention to the brackets and despite my loss to him I ended up in 3rd place for the tournament! I was happy with my overall performance and watching the obvious final tourney match between the Stick Bros. was sick too. Poison Bro ended up taking Guile Bro in the end by 1 round. So that's the epic story on my one and only FGC tourney.

Day before yesterday I cut off both of my best friends because the friendship was getting toxic and it made me miserable. Yesterday was a day full of random bursts of crying and restlessness. So I went out with my boyfriend and while we were sitting I accidentally slapped the side of his head too hard, like not painfully hard, but yes the kind that makes a sound.
It was unintentional and supposed to be playful and I tried to apologise but he moved my hand. This happened before once which was also accidental. He got mad both times and I apologised profusely later but he wouldn’t listen.
Then I started crying about my friends again and he hugged me and kissed me and sent me home. Didn’t text me for 2 hours and his friend comes and tells me that he wants to breakup, and that she doesn’t know why. I’m blocked from everywhere, and the places I’m not, I didn’t get a reply.
My friends say that the slap thing seems to be an excuse but i don’t know. maybe he thought i am or i’d become physically abusive but swear to god they were both accidents, and we playfully hit each all the time. there were scars on my hand and he said he’d break up with me if I self-harmed, but I swore I had no idea where they were from.
Just 2 hours before the breakup he was kissing me and holding me and all that. I can’t, for the life of me figure out what went wrong. he was my first love, my best friend, and now he’s gone. just like that.
Does anybody have an idea what could’ve went wrong?

So I (F35) and my partner (F35) already have 2 children together, and thinking of third. We both went through succesful IVF treatments and both gave birth to a biological child. We were left with 5 extra embryos from my partner's IVF, and none from mine. These embryos were freezed for possible future treatments.
It's always been clear that I'm the one who wants to get pregnant again, and that I wish to use my own egg cells. My partner knows this, and has always said, that she knows how important it is for me to have another biological child, and she's been cool with that - up until recently.
Now that we're actually moving on to the treatments, she's started to take her words back. She says (or strongly insists), that as we have embryos frozen (hers'), we should use them instead. Her main arguments are: A) That if I'd gave birth to another biological child to our family, we (as refereing to me, and then my two biological children) would "hold the power" in our family, and she and her biological child would be left "powerless" as we'd take the upper hand. B) That if I don't want to use her embryos, and want to use my own egg cells instead, that automatically means that I love the child from her egg cells less than than "my own".
And there's really nothing I can say that would prove that's not true at all and that it's not about the amount of love. As said, I've always had a strong wish to have another biological child. I can't explain it, it just has always been my dream. But she says it's not a valid argument, and that if don't want to use her frozen embryos, that just proves that I love less our mutual daughter from her egg cells, and more my bio daughter. Also, she said she doesn't know if she's okay with the idea of me using my egg cells, and may not want a third child at al if we're not using her embryos.
And to make this a question of power dynamics feels really weird to me.. like what? That thought honestly had never even passed my mind. I consider all our kids our kids, not mine or hers', and I never think of our relationship as a game of who's got more power, and also would never use "this power" against her. Idk, this is really hard for me to grasp how this can be such a big factor for her in this matter.
So help me out, dear Redditors! I'm really confused, feel strongly pressured and like I don't have a choice but to agree to use her embryos, or else there won't be a baby number 3 at all. And I'd love this child such as much, it's just that I feel I'm being forced into this, and that my views are belittled and invalidated.
So AITA in this scenario for wanting a bio child? Are her arguments just better?

I don’t want to be a downer but I’m hoping to find others who share the same situation and find themselves always back to the same spot of loneliness. It’s not to anyone’s fault. I blame no one, if anyone is to be blamed it would be myself. It just seems that those I call friends are never there when my mind says I’m in need. I think my mind most of the time is rational but I still deal with irrational problems spawned only from my mind and it seems I’m always alone when I’m in that place.
To put it short. I have PTSD, depression, anxiety and I’m sure a few other undiagnosed mental health problems. If you can relate I’m always welcoming friendship. If you can’t relate, I’m a very welcoming and empathetic person who would love friendship regardless of your needs.
I’m currently unemployed and get disability compensation from the VA to help keep myself afloat while I currently unsuccessfully pursue an attempt to go independent in practice of Wedding Videography and Portrait Photography.
In the meantime, I’ve found myself in a bit of a depression slump and my sleep and eating schedule has been out of wack. Fortunately my gym regime hasn’t been faltered too far off track. The gym has seemingly been the only consistent good thing I have in my routine.
I feel hopeful for my future and I want to live, but currently I find my existence tiring and I’m exhausted from the lonely drag of moving forward. I feel I’m making a mistakes everyday and I hate myself regardless of what things I do right. I just want a friend to be there with me in my journey but everyone I’ve met has used me, abandoned or is never there enough. I hold no grudges to anyone but myself but they doesn’t change my loneliness. In 2 days I’ll see my therapist again, which is honestly one of the only consistent human interactions I have in my life. I’m not sure why I’m still babbling, but if you’ve read this far I thank you. My voice doesn’t mean much in the scape of things.
If you would like to be friends, please reach out. My messages are always open. ❤️

Hi everyone,
First time posting here, a little bit about my situation, my GF of 2 years dumped me 3 weeks ago and we maintained contact for 2 weeks after that. She was apparently not happy with the relationship and she told me she has the curiosity of knowing other people (which is understandable because we are still young). However, even though I'm young as well (we are both 20), I really saw myself with this girl together for a long long time :(
She wanted us to stay friends but I said I can't for now, because I'm obviously still very much in love with her. The last time we saw each other I told her I love her and she said she loves me too (I don't know what to think about that lol if anyone has an idea tell me) and that was the last time we talked, I initiated no contact with her. I'm in my summer break with not much to do, I have no motivation to do things (I try exercising) and she's really in my mind. I'm proud of myself because I'm not looking at our pics together and I unfollowed her on insta so I can't see what she's doing, but besides that it's really hard to move on :( I want to pick up on hobbies and try to do what I was doing before knowing her but I was already kinda "lost" and didn't do much back then too. I want to text her so bad, I don't know if I should like maybe in a couple weeks or like next month, I don't know if this is a great idea?
I know you all have your problems too, I'm sorry I just needed to talk a little. Sorry for my english too.

Look, I know this whole rant is pathetic. I'm definitely gonna regret writing it tomorrow, but I feel like shit right now and I need to just get it out. I started seeing comments from women saying that, while they were straight, they found women generally better-looking than men. A normal person would just shrug and move on, but my OCD brain kept telling me to keep looking further into it. I kept hoping what I found would prove it false, but it's really just reaffirmed the initial idea. Women are just inherently more attractive than men. Why am I upset by this? I'm a straight man. I love women, and I absolutely do not think that they are at fault for any of this. But, as a man, I just want to be attractive. And it kills me to think that I'm just not. Or at least, I'll never be as attractive as a woman. Of course, women can still be straight. There will still be women out there who like me, but they'll still probably prefer looking at a woman. I know, they like my personality, they like the way my mind works. I would love to have a woman in my life who loves me in that way. I also want to be thought of as beautiful. I want people to look at me, and immediately think "Wow. That man is gorgeous", and they just never will. Because I'm a man, and women are more beautiful.

I (20F) have been friends with my best friend "Stacy" (20F) for 10 years now. Obviously like all friends so we have had our ups and downs, but that was all when we were younger. I was one of the only friends that stood next to her and helped her through her first pregnancy when we were both still in high school. She then got pregnant a year after we graduated. I helped her get a job at the place I was working at they offered both of us manager positions. She turned it down but I accepted. I eventually left and went to a better job in the field that I am studying in college now. She was halfway through her second pregnancy when I left.
That's when I started noticing issues but didn't say anything. For instance, she became very distant from me and wasn't really talking to me unless she needed something. She did have the baby about 2 months early and he stayed in the hospital for a little bit for having breathing issues but eventually, he did go home. She does not know who the father is. She is saying that the guy she is letting see the baby is the father. If he is the father, then he is not suitable to be around the baby but obviously, that's not my place to say, then he got her pregnant right before he went to jail. He was in for her whole pregnancy and then some. The first time I met him was around Christmas and didn't like him right off the bat.
I stopped by her house for something a few months ago and her mom told me that DSS was involved in something but I didn't tell my friend about because I saw it as something that if she wanted me to know she would have told me and I'm completely understanding with that stance.
A month goes by and I go to her neighbor's house to pick my sister up because she was over there with her friends that lived there. My friend never liked those people. I found it weird that she was with them, and again I didn't say anything. When we left my sister asked me when my friend was moving and I told her that I never knew my friend was moving. My friend never told me she was moving.
By the time I got home which was about 5 minutes at most, I went to text my friend and she had already removed me from all social media and she didn't have a phone number for me to text.
Weeks go by and I don't hear from her so I think we don't have a friendship anymore. I have her family on Facebook and talk to them often. They didn’t know that "Stacy" wasn’t speaking to me. A few weeks after not hearing from her a family member had posted saying that "Stacy" tested positive for meth and that DSS let her write the kids off to the new boyfriend's mother (the kids have different dads) who she nor the kids have ever met. Before she did that though she removed her mom off of that paper because she was convinced her mother and I told DSS about the meth. We didn’t. We didn’t even know about it until "Stacy" tested positive.
The day after she tested positive she and the boyfriend’s mother rented a U-haul truck and packed everything up of theirs including the kid's stuff. And the next day moved to Texas which is where the boyfriend and his family are originally from. Since the boyfriend was released from jail he can’t leave the county let alone the state so she is living with her kids and a bunch of people she doesn’t know in a state she doesn’t know. She does not speak to her family or me anymore. She still has her family on Facebook though and she just announced that she is pregnant with her third child.
I went to see her mom recently and she told me that “Stacy” had become very abusive to her oldest child who is 3 now both verbally and physically but absolutely loved the new baby. “Stacy” had also moved out of her mom's house, left the kids with her mom, and moved into the neighbor's shed.
My main concern is that DSS didn’t do a background check on the lady that she gave the kids at the DSS place after taking them from her mother. The lady that has them now has DUIs and charges for child endangerment. How DSS didn’t see this we don’t know.
A lot of people have been reaching out to me and asking how “Stacy” is doing, including her old co-workers. Nobody knew anything. All they knew was that she had to move suddenly. So when they ask I have been telling them the honest trust. She is on meth. And that she is pregnant again and still using it.
AITA?

I'd love to hear your honest opinions on whether renting out our house in the next 12-18 months when moving on to the next house is worth it..
Some facts, figures exame, averages on monthly income etc you know what I mean. I have done some due diligence so I am gathering Info just looking for more lol
Just whatever you can things I may have overlooked, missed etc
Thankyou

So I've been long distance dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. We were friends for a long time before that and had feelings for each other the whole time before we started dating. We talked over Discord most days, often playing video games together. We would fly to visit and stay with each other in between my university semesters, and were planning to move in together in his city after I graduate in a couple months. I originally lived in his city and moved to my current city to study, but I hate it here and I never really made friends.
He suddenly broke up with me about a week ago and I had absolutely no idea it was coming. I had no significant issues with the relationship and was super excited to be taking it to the next level. He's had doubts about our relationship and said that although he loves me more than anyone before he thinks we're just different people and he has this gut feeling that this is for the best. We've never had huge fights and always communicated well but apparently he had been ignoring these doubts that he had. He doesn't see us getting back together. To be honest this has been completely devastating for me, I've been super stressed with the end of my studying and now I have no plan for when I graduate. I absolutely loved being with him and don't feel satisfied by this ending at all. I'm seeking professional help for my mental health.
I feel very melodramatic considering our relationship wasn't that long but I've been really upset about it ending. He says he still loves me and wishes it didn't have to end like this, but he doesn't seem to want to get back together at all. Why isn't he even considering it? How am I supposed to deal with this situation?

Love the game for the most part, but my friends and I started on Veteran just to have a bit more of a chaotic and death-filled journey to 100 and we've hardly struggled. We aren't arpg vets (I mean we play WoW and League but...) just wish the campaign/story mode bosses had more danger to them. Like all the respawn points are so close by, the bosses seemed to move so slowly and rarely do a big attack, and even then it would't one shot or anything. Disappointed in that but the rest of the game is good so far. Does everything stay so easy even into nightmare?

Okay, so I (F35) and my partner (F35) already have 2 children together, and thinking of third. We both went through succesful IVF treatments and both gave birth to biological child. We were left with 5 extra embryos from my partner's IVF, and none from mine. These embryos were freezed for possible future treatments.
It's always been clear that I'm the one who wants to get pregnant again, and that I wish to use my own egg cells. My partner knows this, and has always said, that she knows how important it is for me to have another biological child, and she's been cool with that - up until recently.
Now that we're actually moving on to the treatments, she's started to take her words back. She says (or strongly insists), that as we have embryos frozen (hers'), we should use them instead. Her main arguments are: A) That if I'd gave birth to another biological child to our family, we (as refereing to me, and then my two biological children) would "hold the power" in our family, and she and her biological child would be left "powerless" as we'd take the upper hand. B) That if I don't want to use her embryos, and want to use my own egg cells instead, that automatically means that I love the child from her egg cells less than than "my own".
And there's really nothing I can say that would prove that's not true at all and that it's not about the amount of love. As said, I've always had a strong wish to have another biological child. I can't explain it, it just has always been my dream. But she says it's not a valid argument, and that if don't want to use her frozen embryos, that just proves that I love less our mutual daughter from her egg cells, and more my bio daughter. Also, she said she doesn't know if she's okay with the idea of me using my egg cells, and may not want a third child at al if we're not using her embryos.
And to make this a question of power dynamics feels really weird to me.. like what? That thought honestly had never even passed my mind. I consider all our kids our kids, not mine or hers', and I never think of our relationship as a game of who's got more power, and also would never use "this power" against her. Idk, this is really hard for me to grasp how this can be such a big factor for her in this matter.
So help me out, dear Redditors! I'm really confused, feel strongly pressured and like I don't have a choice but to agree to use her embryos, or else there won't be a baby number 3 at all. And I'd love this child such as much, it's just that I feel I'm being forced into this, and that my views are belittled and invalidated.
So AITA in this scenario for wanting a bio child? Are her arguments just better?

I am a 25f and I’m so excited to be moving from my small town in IL to somewhere with more things to do and places to go!
In my adulthood I’ve had trouble making new friends and staying active. I’d like to get out more so any suggestions for things to do, places to go, or organizations to volunteer for would be great!
———— For additional info if you’re interested, I like to bake/cook, walk (how do I find trails here?), play board games, drink (best bars?), volunteer, read, and do easy crafts (like no sew blankets… love learning how to make something new)! I would also be interested in hearing about things that might be more out of my typical wheelhouse.
I am a bit introverted, but I want to be out more on Friday and Saturday nights, both with and without my partner. Thank you so much! :)

Go back and stick it out or move forward and explore?
Hello! I left a long term marriage after 28 years. Will be technically married 30 years this summer. Looooong time. I won’t go into detail as to all the reasons….both of us are at fault in some form or fashion. There was a lot of controlling, manipulation, guilting, isolation from friends and family that I could not endure any longer. That’s my main reason. Many have told me that she won’t truly change. I get it. Having experienced a small amount of “being on my own”…I’ve seen the grass is not necessarily greener; however, new love…flirting…new relationship energy…etc…can be exhilarating, yet exhausting too. I was a “simp” in my marriage. I have read No More Mr. Nice Guy and applying those principals. They are helping some. I am about to read “Rational Male.” My question is this ….in your educated and experienced opinion, is it better for a man to stay with a wife he’s built a family with, has history with, is familiar with, enjoy grandkids, etc….but not necessarily fulfilled and excited or enthused about the relationship? ….or is it worth it to move into unexplored territory, find new love, work on making myself happy, date, sex, etc…. I have raised my kids. Financially stable. Good job. Normal and healthy and good looking. Part of my issue is ….I don’t want to hurt my wife’s feelings or cause pain. I still care for her. I am 48 years old so still have some time left on this rock to “live.” I got married at 18 (too young)…. I’ve never truly been on my own before or been “officially” single. ……and I’m a little scared. I’ve experienced some loneliness these last 2.5 years since I moved out ….and it sucks. Sorry for the long post. Thank you for your constructive advice.

If you were dumped like myself (fresh or been a while) I feel like we all need this reminder. Yeah it hurts to be dumped. Weather it was toxic or just randomly they decided it was over, I want to remind you of one thing that will help you heal faster. If you are hoping they will come back it’s okay because they may come back but do yourself a favor and please move on. When I say move on, I don’t mean start hooking up with people or go on dates, but move on with yourself because they are doing the same thing. They aren’t at home going “oh man I hope they are ok, I love them so much” Take your power back. I know you can’t imagine your life without them but honestly when they dump you, they are the ones who will decide when they want to come back. Unfortunately it may or may not happen. Just assume they won’t. Work on yourself, hit the gym, do all the things you want to do. The sky it the limits!

Recently, I graduated with a bachelor’s in biology. I know it’s a pretty basic degree, but I planned on moving forward after this gap year. During my entire undergraduate years I’ve participated in 3 research projects: two cellular (one environment, and one immunological) and a field project (ecological). I’ve also worked as an undergrad assistant that gave me a pretty decent amount of skills that I see a lot of employers asking for. Employers either see me as under qualified or way overqualified. I’ve even applied for jobs where I’ll be making the same amount of money as a Starbucks employee and haven’t heard back. Jobs that I feel would be perfect seem out of reach because I’m not “old enough” yet. I’m so tired of this awful job market. This bachelors feels like a waste, and this rejection is making me question if I’ll even be able to get accepted into higher education. The disappointment feels awful. I really just want a secure job during my gap year so I can afford to put payments toward my next level of education (for exams and applications). I feel stuck in a job I don’t love, and an endless loop of disappointment.

My partner and I have been married for seven years. My partner was texting and trying to date other women last year and told me that he wasn't getting enough love-making time, and his friends told him to do it, so he did. And also that my body was a turn-off from having children. I endured it and forgave him. Two months ago, we got into a fight, and we stopped speaking after a couple of days; he begged me to forgive him, and we moved on; I thought that it was weird, and I had this feeling in the back of my head telling me that something was wrong, so I Secertly went through his phone. He has been texting the same women that he loves about how hot they look and telling them they are gorgeous with hearts and kisses. He has not told me any of that in a year. Most of the time, I don't feel secure in the relationship. I want to leave the relationship. Am I being insecure and irrational?
Note: the last time he did this, I was told that he liked pictures and complementing them. And it was customary for men to be attracted to other women.

19f (f4m) -east coast/anywhere -
hey lol
abt me: im a 19yr old female, and i am currently studying astrophysics in massachusetts. i was born in venice, italy, but moved to the US when i was 16.
family: in early may of this year, i moved out from my (mentally/emotionally) abusive parents' house and moved about an hour away from them. i have 4 older brothers (😭) and i am the youngest. i dont know my relatives pretty much at all.
my physical characteristics: mid length dirty blonde hair //// light-med blue eyes //// freckles (mostly across my nose and under my eyes) and some across my arms/legs //// 5'1(rip, i never hit that growth spurt) //// i'm slightly curvy and have bigger thighs
what i can offer: i am literally in LOVE with any sort of physical touch. hugs, cuddling, you name it; i love it. i'm not trying to be cocky but i have a great sense of humor (sarcastic, keeping up with the world's memes) i like being helpful; even if i don't know exactly how to do it, i will try my best to learn, i have learned lessons over the years and now have good advice for general situations
what i'm looking for: bro ngl, at this point im looking for ANYTHING 😭 , only time i wont PM back is if you are over 24, sry. you can be 24 just not 25+. or if you immediately ask for bikini pic or my socials or smth
some red flags i prob have: i cant eat too much at once, i have a weak stomach, i have sleep issues (mentioned in my medical history/conditions), im either too hot or too cold. rarely am i in the middle
medical history/conditions CURRENT: -panic disorder (extreme anxiety/stress) -circadian rhythm sleep disorder (problems in falling asleep or staying awake at appropriate times) -insomnia (problems with falling, staying, or feeling rested after sleep) PAST: depression and anorexia
random facts: my fav genre of music is metal; fav bands are ABBA, Måneskin, and Metallica, i love horror movies and books, i work part time at chickfila and a local walmart, i am allergic to adhesive and have SUPER bad allergies when it comes to any sort of pollen
thank you for taking your time reading this