Looking for input from teachers on what it's like working in NC specifically in the triangle area. Coming from New England where we don't have many private schools so if anyone has experience in both and could share what it's like working for public vs private down there would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I have been seeing my therapist for many years, starting before the pandemic. I found him in kind of an unusual way...I was going to a doctor's office that worked with residents (because of my cheap insurance), and while in a doctor's appointment I was crying and talking about how I was depressed. She asked if I'd be interested in therapy and I said I couldn't afford it. She informed me that the office had a therapist who helped teach the residents about mental health issues etc, and that I could see him for a greatly reduced fee if a resident sat in on the first several sessions. I agreed and started therapy. After the first six months I just started seeing him without a resident sitting in, but still payed the reduced fee. (Sorry this is long, just trying to explain that it's already a somewhat unique payment situation.)
During the pandemic he was no longer seeing clients at that office, and offered me zoom therapy. During our first zoom session I asked how I would pay (since I usually paid at the front desk of the doctor's office), and he just said not to worry about it for now. We continued weekly zoom therapy and I eventually asked again, just trying to make sure I wouldn't suddenly get a big bill later, and he said something like he wanted to give me free therapy as a kind of gift, and that it makes him happy to do so. So I didn't pay throughout all of 2020-2021. We had zoom therapy weekly, and if I was having a particularly hard time it would sometimes stretch past the hour mark. (Something that never happened in person).
Now I'm back seeing him at the office and paying the sliding scare amount again. At our first in-person meeting I thanked him for the free sessions. He mentioned that soon he was leaving this job and would only be seeing clients at his private practice, but that I should continue seeing him there and he would be able to give me free therapy again.
I always thought he was just being kind, especially knowing that money remains a huge stress for me. But recently when I mentioned this to some friends who are training to be therapists (one in grad school now and another is at her final internship), they both reacted like this was very sketchy. They said it was unprofessional and that how he explained it was a boundary crossing. But I know that many therapists offer pro-bono or sliding scale therapy. Does this sound like a red flag to anyone else? I am very shocked that they said that but they seemed truly concerned and I guess as therapists-in-training they might know more than I do...? I just thought that the pandemic was kind of an extreme event that warranted something different. Should I be concerned about this?

Hello!
To maintain privacy, I’ll say my name is X.
When I was younger, my father was a mechanic, making under $19/hr and providing for my entire family. We were on a low income and I was raised blue collar my entire life.
In middle school, my father’s salary did not meet the demands of our life, and we lost our modest house. Unable to afford an apartment, we had to throw most of our belongings away and figure out a place to live, for there was none. In time, a neighbor allowed us to live in their attic until we could afford an apartment.
My father moved to NJ from the south while we still lived down there to send us money so we could afford it, I didn’t see him for months at a time and when I did it was only for a day or two. My mother was a bipolar alcoholic who used to beat my little brother and I constantly and forced us to drink when we were at most 14 years old.
Since so much was going on, I didn’t take school seriously, as life was hard enough. I played a school sport (not well), didn’t study, I ended up with a 2.7 in high school.
By somehow beating the odds, and with not a single role model to show me the way on this path, I am now studying in law school, looking to pursue a career transactional law. The school has a starting salary of around $90k, but salaries of >$100k are beyond quite common.
I didn’t think I had a chance in life and here I am. I went from a 2.7 high school GPA and no idea of what to do, to a 3..4-3.8 college GPA, to here.
If you’re feeling that way too and have any interest in maybe pursuing law school and law, or you want general advice on getting to college and/or grad school, I’m happy to talk about it with you. Ask away, or feel free to PM me and I’ll try to respond as soon as possible!
There’s always a way out, and if you’re looking for a way out when it comes to school I’d love to pay it forward and help out those in this subreddit.
Free of charge of course, and no such thing as stupid questions, ask away and I’ll give as in depth and serious of an answer as I can.
Have a great day, /NYstateofmind , and keep your head up!

My fiancee [27F] and I [29M] grew up very differently. I was an immigrant who moved here when I was 6, and we were definitely struggling a lot. My parents worked extremely hard to provide for me and siblings, and they always prioritized our education over everything. My dad always told me it was his dream to live in a house that he owned, since we'd always rented, but he couldn't save up enough since we were renting in expensive areas with good schools. Unfortunately, both of my parents passed away before being able to realize that dream. My dad passed away when I was 17 and my mom passed away almost 3 years ago due to covid.
My fiancee grew up fairly wealthy. Like private schools, designer clothes, 3-4 international vacations per year flying first or business class the whole way. I was able to attend college thanks to student loans, scholarships, and part-time jobs, which delayed my graduation a bit, while her parents were able to fairly easily cover all expenses themselves. However, I'm the last person to say that my fiancee hasn't earned everything she's gotten. She's an extremely intelligent person, and besides funding her education, her parents are in no way responsible for her accomplishments.
My fiancee and I met 6 years ago when we started working at the same company, in the same position, at the same time, after graduating from college. We hit it off almost instantly and it didn't take long for us to start dating. Both of us still work at the company, however I've progressed through the career ladder a bit more quickly than she has and now make just over twice what she does. I'll be the first to admit that this is completely undeserved and I've benefitted from a lot of luck and definitely some sexism as well, since we work in a male-dominated field. Still, that has allowed me to aggressively attack my student loans, and once they were payed off, I put that into saving up for a down payment on a house as a way to fulfill my parents dreams.
I proposed about 6 months, and things have been great so far. However, this past weekend, we were at her family's house, when her parents told us that for a wedding present, they were going to give us a house. My fiancee was overjoyed, and although I was also happy, I wanted to know the details as well. Pretty quickly, her parents told us that the house would be in her name only, and that they expected us to sign a prenup to protect any (and only) pre-marriage assets "just in case". I was insulted that they thought I was after their money at all since I make more than she does anyway, and I ended up telling them that they can't call it a wedding present if they only give it to one person. I then told my fiancee I refused to live in a house that I don't own, and she knows exactly why. All three of them got very upset with me. So AITA?

Hi all. I'm a working healthcare professional moving into NJ (Morris County) in a couple of months, and I'm someone that utilizes those commericla ready meal prep services, such as Factor, Hello Fresh etc (You can lecture me all you want about cooking and meal prepping, it just doesn't work for me sometimes). Where I used to live in Milwaukee, there was a local service that I really loved that was more affordable and reliable, but where I live now I only have access to the commercial ones.
I wanted to ask the community if there are local services in and around the Morris County area and any recommendations that you may have. Thanks in advance!

TLDR; I was in love with my gf, she broke up with me. We were apart for a year and some change before we reconciled and started dating. Now we have been together for about 7 years total and I’m hesitant on marriage. May be influenced by someone else.
I apologize in advance that some detail will have to be omitted for privacy concerns. This will also be a long story as I am very confused and have never been in this type of situation before.
We began dating when we were young, 24 and 21. Previously to her, I was in multiple relationships where she was in one serious one that ended a few months prior to us dating. We virtually skipped over any honeymoon phase due to personal reasons on my end, and jumped straight into a serious relationship. Over the next few years, I swore I was going to marry this woman. She was everything I was looking for at the time. Smart, beautiful, sociable, and my family loved her. She had the qualities that would make her an excellent mother and wonderful wife.
Even though we’ve had common relationship problems, there was never a moment where we had huge disagreements. Over the years we grew extremely close with each other. When she finished up her degree, she had an opportunity to intern in a different state on the opposite side of the country from where we lived at the time. I was still in school finishing up my degree. We also both lived with our parents at the time due to financial reasons. I was so excited for her to start this internship, as it would be an excellent stepping stone into the career she wanted. She, on the other hand, was nervous about being long distance for about a year, but I ensured her we were strong enough and communicate well enough for us to make it a year. I was wrong.
Finances were tight, but I made every effort to try and fly out to visit her as often as I could. I would also try to set up times to text/call/FaceTime but with the time differences it became difficult. I was ahead by 3 hours and often went to sleep early so I could commute to school. I flew out one last time to celebrate her birthday, and it was quite possibly one of the most miserable weeks of my life. I’ve never felt so unloved, uncared for, and disregarded in my life. I felt like I was sleeping with a stranger. We barely touched each other, she walked ahead of me as we were exploring the city, and basically ignored me when I met her new group of friends.
I flew home, called her and told her how I felt. I told her I understood we are in a rough patch but she was the woman of my dreams and I want to fight for what we had. She blindsided me by absolutely breaking my heart. At this point we were together for a little over 3 years. I was devastated. Confused. Broken. At this time, I have no idea if she was cheating on me. I never cared to ask.
Fast forward in time about a year. She’s reached out a few times but I basically kept things short. I had a new job that paid well, and was focused on meeting new people. Covid hit, and she found herself back home and she reached out me to see if I wanted to meet up and talk. Every logical fiber in my body was telling me to run, but my emotions overcame me and against my better judgement I agreed to meet and talk. I never asked if someone else was the cause of the break up, or what her rationale was. I also never asked if she saw someone while we were apart, mostly because we were broken up and I was talking to other people as well. We ended up reconciling and began dating again.
We ended up moving in together after some time. During this period I thought everything was back to normal. However, I noticed I would not tell people I was in a relationship unless specifically asked. If I did tell someone, I kept it insanely minimal. I would find excuses to change the subject or would say I keep my work and private life separate, which I very much do. But omitting information such as being in a serious relationship should’ve got me thinking something was wrong beforehand.
We were living together when I sprung the news I had to move to a new state to finish grad school, and she uprooted her entire life to move with me and support me, partially because of what happened in our past.
To put things into perspective, we’ve now been together a little over 7 years total. We’ve discussed marriage, children, future goals, the works. I would’ve married her, but there has always been something that made me hesitant. Now I do love her, she is still an amazing person despite what we’ve been through.
To complicate the situation, before we left, a woman who I found attractive at work exchanged contact information with me and we’ve been talking more frequently. The field I work in is predominantly women, and I interact with very driven, beautiful, funny women daily. There’s always been mutual attraction between myself and other women, but I’ve never felt the desire to ruin my home life over one of them. I find myself drawn to her, and check my phone waiting to see if she has sent me anything. I find myself wanting to pursue this new woman more than wanting to stay in this relationship. However, this other woman is in a different state. I understand crushes happen, but this feels like more.
So here I am. In a new state with someone who I thought I was 100% sure on marrying, who is 100% committed to seeing the relationship succeed and I feel myself pulling away to potentially pursue someone else in another state.
I know how this sounds, and I’ve guilted myself into telling my current partner my hesitancy on marriage, which blindsided her and put me in a position to figure out what I want.
I’m not sure if pursuing this new woman would result in a fruitful relationship, but I can’t stop thinking about the possibilities. On the other hand, I do love my partner. We’ve been through so much together and are generally happy, but I fear my hesitancy may be coming from somewhere else. Is it this new woman? Is it from unhealed wounds from the previous break up?
I’m afraid I never truly recommitted to my partner and got back together because I was more afraid of being alone. Now I have these new intense feelings, which may not be reciprocated, that is causing me to overanalyze everything and rethink my current relationship.
Again, I know how this all sounds. I know people will tell me to break up and pursue the other girl, drop the idea of the other woman and fix what I have, or drop both of them and fix myself. They are all reasonable suggestions and I cannot justify any of them. I love and respect my partner, but I feel selfish not matching her current intentions. I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is cold feet, insecurity, immaturity, or all of the above.
I need 3rd party perspective, which is why I turned here. I’ve been trying to figure this all out on my own without success. Any and all insight is greatly appreciated.

I have verifiable experience for translation jobs I have done in the past, and credited work from those that have contacted me. I'd wish more people would comment on these advertisements so they would get more traction, but I understand why they choose to contact me privately.
You can ask to see samples of my works, and I will happily provide. Translation. Editing. Content creation. Miscellaneous requests.
My English started off as self taught for the most part given that education in the English language is lacking in my country. Most people do not speak it properly, if they speak it at all. Then again almost all of my friends abroad have a story of how 'they took Spanish in school', but now would only barely remember how to say 'Buenos días' if they had a gun pointed at their head.
I have since worked on improving on a daily basis. Not because of an undying passion towards the English language (Though I have to say it is by far the easiest language to learn and more people should use it) but because everything I was exposed to from online communities, to series, movies, websites, discussion forums and even roleplaying back in the early days was in english, and I had to learn and practice it in order to better understand most of it.
And so it became a part of my life, until now where most of my conversations through the day, from work to friends, are carried out in English, as is most of the content I consume whether they be movies, series, podcasts or different youtube channels (Lindybeige is one of my favorites, Professor Jackson Crawford from the University of Colorado is another, if you're interested in norse mythology and history do check him out, listening to him speak Old Norse is quite something.)
To the point where now most of what I write, including fiction, is in English.
Currently I am doing freelance work, comprised of editing, writing, and translating. When I'm not, I'm studying Javascript and writing content of my own.
I have pursued a certification too, but it was a formality by then.
Frequently asked question: "How would anyone profit from working at such a steep discount?" As you may have guessed I am not from the U.S. nor Europe. I am from Argentina. Our currency is so devaluated that even working for low wages through the internet can be decent, if paid in currency worth anything. Look up how many pesos a dollar is worth.
So as an employer you get the chance to make use my talents at the best of rates, with as high a quality as it can get.

Surprisingly good content on Nextdoor. The post:
Let's laugh at local politics.
"Unpolitically Correct Voters Guide for Real People"
​
*Much like Tucker Carlson's TV show, this post is for entertainment purposes only. (Side note: my lawyer is also Tucker Carlson's lawyer and he told me to say that so I can't be held accountable for being legally braindead)*
Wayne Williams - Do you love water restrictions? Do you love traffic? Do you love the establishment? Do you love puppet politicians? Then you'll love Wayne Williams. Directly in the pockets of developers, Williams is the choice for anyone who wants unregulated growth that will force those in charge of our water infrastructure to make difficult decisions when our supply reaches a critical point. In his defense, he may actually be a good guy but a ventriloquist dummy is only as good as the person with their hand up his ass.
​
John "Tigger" Tiegen - You know that family member that ruins every thanksgiving dinner with endless schizophrenic rants about the deep state? This is who they would vote for if they weren't so woke to know that the voting machines are being controlled by the spectre of Mao Zedong. But they know a workaround to ensure their candidate gets into office: drive around with flags flying from their truck. And obviously if that doesn't work then the back up is just claiming election fraud.
​
Kallan Rodebaugh - The only good candidate. Not tainted by any Facebook narratives. Doesn't attack his opponents. All campaign donations go to Springs Mission. He has way better hair than any other choices. Can lift more than any other choices.
​
Daryll Glenn - This is the only candidate who will end the COVID lockdowns that Obama has inflicted on this country. Okay, sure, they have ended, but he'll travel back in time and end them. And sure, Obama isn't in office, but anyone who likes Glenn knows that Obama is teamed up with George Soros and Bill Gates to implant 5g chips in the populace and control them. Glenn will also fight back against the controllers of the Jewish space lasers that have been the cause of wildfires. Voting for him gets you a coupon code for MyPillow, so that's awesome.
​
Yemi - You know that warm fuzzy feeling you got when you voted for Obama because of all the hope and change and what not, then under Obama we drone struck a Yemeni wedding and it and we all were just like, "yeah, I definitely believe that I'm a leftist by voting for that" and then you were all like "orange man put kids in cage, I'm voting against him" and then the new guy just got nicer kids for the cage and you were all like "yeah, that's awesome I definitely think I'm a leftist for that"? Remember? Pepperidge farm remembers. Well, you can revive that feeling of neoliberal fetishistic disavowal by voting for a guy whose business was involved in wage theft and ignored sexual harassment allegations. Thank God (who he has personally spoken with, so there might be some collusion there) his supporters are telling people he wasn't to blame for those incidents because I haven't seen any evidence of him addressing the issue and clearing the air.
​
Christopher Mitchell - Finally, a candidate who has briefly skimmed the cliff's notes of the Constitution and is running a campaign based on a 4th graders understanding of said Constitution. He claims he'll handle things objectively, which, one can very well infer from reading about him that his version of objectivity will hew so close to subjective that you'll question the definition of either term. Also, wtf is the cowboy revolution? Does that mean this guy owns a Ford f-150 that's never left concrete?
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Andrew Dalby - The dude took out a $400,000 loan for his campaign and his largest expenditure, the largest single expenditure among any of the candidates, is a $275,000 transaction to Dark Money Advertising LLC. The joke writes itself folks. A true caricature of politics. And listen, as a straight white male, I'm just as excited as the next straight white male for the possibility of the ideals in Handmaids Tale being the law of the land, but dude, chill. Side note: When Yemi claims he talked to God he was actually talking to Dalby.
​
Lawrence Martinez - I feel like if I try to add any coherent thoughts to this guy's platform, people will accuse me of being involved with his campaign. Considering that incoherence has been the preference for the executive branch of our federal government since 2016, he should be the frontrunner. But it's very likely that reading this is the first time you've heard of him.
​
Sallie Clark - The "i WoN't vOtE fOr cArEeR PoLiTiCiAnS" crowd aren't voting for her, so that is one out of two good things going for her. Of the viable candidates, she's probably the best choice when it comes to the real issues Colorado Springs faces (the ones Wayne Williams will make worse). But, as evidenced by her attack ad on Williams (which, by principle I don't vote for candidates who run attack ads) which juxtaposed Williams as someone who would dare reach across the aisle in bipartisan fashion, she is representative of the plague that is American entertainment politics. In a race that is supposed to be non-partisan, she has assured us that she is a conservative republican who is fine with alienating an entire voting demographic. I also heard a rumor that she talks to Margaret Thatcher with a Ouija board but I can't prove that.
​
Jim Miller - Jim Miller will increase the distance that sex offenders can live from schools. Jim Miller will increase the distance that sex offenders can live from playgrounds. Jim Miller will increase the distance that sex offenders can live from Chuck E Cheese. That's pretty much the platform. Oh, he doesn't like potholes either. We can all get on board with that, right? Just deport the pedos to Teller county and fix the potholes? We should probably just vote for this guy.
​
Longinos - You know that joke, "How do you know if someone's vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you." Well, that's how Longinos is with his military career. And just like any panhandler that makes a dubious claim about being a veteran on their cardboard sign, he knows it's a strategy that works in this setting. He also makes the noble claim that he is the candidate for "the people" while being adamantly against everything half of "the people" want. He'll get up to 3% of the vote, which will at least beat Tiegen so that's fun.
​
Strand - Again, this is probably the first time you've heard of him. I think at this point it's probably a waste of time to waste my breath on someone all of us just heard of today because of this post. (The joke is that you all should have heard of him but he's been pushed far aside in this election)

A few days ago, one of my YouTube videos were threatened to be copyright striked as well as many similar ones featuring a specific film. I am unfamiliar with US law however I believe that my video would have fallen vaguely into fair use as my video contained footage from the film edited into a horror trailer. My intention for the video was to educate people in film schools on how editing subverts the genre of the film and the footage of the film was heavily manipulated (added VFX, different music, no spoilers, different color grading). Please correct me if I am wrong on this.
When looking at my claim, the company who claimed it was not the production company/distributor but instead what seemed to be one of the producer's private companies. There is no information on the producer and the company other than an inactive IMDb page therefore I was unsure whether it was the actual producer as many people share the same name as her.
I contacted the email, on the claim which on searching the name, was the name of an LA copyright attorney however the email was very basic and didn't have it's now email domain therefore again, I was unsure if it was that person themselves. I emailed them saying that I did not want to contest the claim however to understand where in his point of view I went wrong and what I could do to not anger the producer. I also told them that I have spoken to the other people who had their videos taken down from the same client and to tell me how they could avoid futher strikes.
He responded by telling me that I have to provide my Name, Address, and Phone number to consider the request. This took me aback as I am unsure why he would request that unless he is intenting to serve me a court order, which again, I told him I dont want to fight his claim but to recieve more information on the claim itself. His reasoning was that he found it ironic that he couldnt find my name on my google profile and therefore he won't provide verification unless I do so myself however, the claim was made on my personal account where I do not provide sensitive information for my safety and security.
What should I do? Should I refuse? Is there any way I can know he is who he says he is?

Presenting a chapter from what will eventually be the full 1st Volume of the Multiversal Manuscript, a catalog of all sorts of new characters, places, and things drawn from all piles of notes and random writing I've done for my D&D games and setting work. While generally written for a Dungeons & Dragons and Pathfinder style setting, its contents can be setting agnostic and made to fit any world.
This chapter contains entries for 19 Organizations as well as sample NPCs for each. It also includes the 20 page Appendix of minor entries that are referenced by both the Organizations in this text and what will eventually be the full product. Consider them a sneak preview.
They are intended to serve varied roles in many settings, from allies to enemies and anything in between. These organizations and their members are meant to be both inspiration and foundation for more, providing hooks and conflicts that can be tailored to your own worlds.
​

• The Aggrieved - Covert - Grudge Bearing Dwarves
• The Bedlam - Mercenary - Chaotic Shock Troopers
• Black Iron’s Sixth - Military - Entrenched Goblinoid Remnant
• Celebrants of the Corpse Gods - Cult - Worshippers of the Divine Dead
• Crownfall Initiative - Covert - Resurgent Spy Masters
• The Dead Fish - Criminal - Infamous Harbor Gang
• Dustbringers' Market - Guild - Ghostly Wandering Merchants
• House Garsese - Noble - Hoard Takers and Ruin Delvers
• House Nemosar - Noble - Psionic Power Brokers
• The Manifest Order - Druid - Totemic Hybrid Shapeshifters
• Onyxfang Syndicate - Criminal - Werebeast Controlling Crime Families
• Order of the Unbound Tome - Mercenary - Arcane Tactical Operators
• The Reclaimers - Cult – Paranoid Artifact Destroyers
• The Ruinous Dawn - Divine - Seekers of Deific Rebirth
• School of the Last Gasp - Monk School - Rogue Trap Masters
• Thurandic Earthguard - Military - Alchemically Enhanced Elemental Warriors
• Typhon’s Revenge - Military - Rebels With A Dreadnought
• Wakeners - Arcane - Spreaders of Magical Knowledge
• The Zolothron - Mercenary - Loot Hungry Orc Artificers

​
It is Free on DriveThruRPG - https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/430677/Multiversal-Manuscript--Volume-1--Organizations
Slowly working my way through editing everything and in refining the Organizations the size of the overall project has gone gone up about 25 pages. Looking at working on either my Monsters or Gods chapters next.
There is also my more general Preview version I posted here about 4 months ago if it is of interest; it gives an idea of the full scope of the project and what the final think is headed towards, content wise.
Any comments or suggestions to edits on either doc is welcome!
Below are 3 examples from the set -
-----Examples-----

Aggrieved, The

Covert - Grudge Bearing Dwarves
A clandestine organization of dwarves spread across the world. For a fee, they take on the grudges and hatreds of any dwarf or clan, storing them in massive iron tomes. They dispatch specialists to ensure that the targets of the grudges suffer or repay what is owed, be it in blood or gold. The group actively recruits dwarves who have nothing left to lose, such as exiles, criminals, lone survivors, or those who cannot fit into normal dwarven society. The Aggrieved provides them with purpose and an outlet for pent-up frustrations, especially against surface dwellers or their eternal foes in the depths of the world. While the group is something of an open secret in most dwarven communities, they are keen to keep their existence from outsiders. Chief among the grievances they are sought to satisfy is the reacquisition of ancient dwarven treasures that have been stolen and the punishment of those who currently possess them, even if they are many owners removed from the original thieves. Rumors persist of a Grudgebearer who has spent over a hundred years systematically tracking down every subsequent owner of a long-dead dwarven mountain lord’s treasure, leaving hundreds of dead in their wake. The Aggrieved also fulfills more indirect grievances, such as ensuring that a particular human noble family will forever see their fortunes ruined for cheating a clan elder in a trade deal in a prior generation, or that the elves will never expand past the mountains that once belonged to a now-fallen dwarven city for failing to come to their aid when needed. Additionally, a few of their members, more unstable and violent than the rest, are sent on Bitter Hunts to forever seek out and slay the sworn enemies of the dwarves until they wipe them all out or die in the process.
Kerganosk the Brazen: An Aggrieved hunter who has made it his mission to seek revenge against fire giants. He has become a legend among the giants, who fear him greatly. The dwarf is known for his scorched and pitted brass armor, which he refuses to take off until he has seen to the utter decimation of his enemies. Despite the fact that the greater dwarven kingdoms have publicly disavowed Kerganosk's crusade, they do nothing to stop him. In fact, many younger dwarves who are eager to earn a name for themselves or reject the withdrawn nature of their forebearers have joined his cause. These dwarves are cult-like in their devotion to Kerganosk and have expanded their hatred to include all giants, no matter where they may be. Although Kerganosk remains focused on his mission, he is more than willing to share his martial tactics and specialized weaponry with anyone who wishes to see the giants destroyed, even non-dwarves who show some talent. Together with his allies, he has been able to vex his enemies for years, often laying low for extended periods as they plan simultaneous strikes against multiple targets, or emerging suddenly for an overwhelming attack on a valuable target before quickly disappearing once again. Through bounty hunters and smaller allies. the giants have attempted to track down Kerganosk and his hidden lairs throughout the Underdelve. Thus far they have only found fleeting traces of his passing and no small number of cleverly hidden traps in the broken halls of dead dwarven fortresses that the Brazen and his followers rotate through.
Gallkag Brimrift: A grim dwarf who has claimed a stretch of mountains that were once settled as part of a collaborative effort between dwarves and humans to establish a long-lasting trade city. However, the short-lived humans and their tumultuous politicking soured the venture, leading to tensions that eventually flared into skirmishes, then war. In the end, the dwarves were forced to cut their losses and retreat back into the depths of the earth to their homeland. Gallkag, left for dead in the last days of the conflict, was "rescued" by the Aggrieved. After he recovered, he eagerly took it upon himself to make the humans of the region pay for their transgressions. He now ceaselessly stalks the mountain passes of his former home, waylaying any human travelers that have the misfortune of crossing paths with him and his pack of beasts. Operating out of the half-built trade city, Gallkag's territory is honeycombed with tunnels that only he knows about. Many have tried to ferret the vicious dwarf out, but his mastery of the landscape allows him to evade interlopers with ease, picking them off one by one or tricking them into the many hazards present.
Urist Dastordruk: An undercover liaison for agents of the Aggrieved in one of the largest aboveground cities of the realm. He owes an extensive debt of both coin and honor to the organization for avenging his extended family's death many years prior. Though few are sure what exactly he does as an occupation beyond being a perennial socialite, the dwarf has earned a reputation throughout the city and beyond for his uncanny knack for making friends across all strata of society and getting them connected. If he doesn't know someone or something, he certainly knows who does and can get in touch for a nominal fee, of course. However, Urist hates every second of it. Every handshake, every fake smile, and every cheering toast. He wants nothing more than to be back in the mountainhome of his kin and away from the petty, meaningless lives of all the small-minded people on the surface. To maintain his composure, Urist's handler in the Aggrieved has supplied him with a steady stream of alchemical concoctions that serve to both suppress his incredible hatred of those peoples tangentially responsible for the downfall of his family and enhance the charming facade of his public personality. Over time, the doses have had to become more and more potent to maintain their effect, and the dwarf has begun experiencing strange fugue states. When he emerges, Urist is often standing at the edge of a roof looking out over the city below or back in his home covered in blood that is not his. He is both terrified of what has been happening and hopeful that it might lead to an end of his torment, honor be damned. The Grudgebearer that owns his debt cares little for Urist's plight. While the dwarf has been exceedingly useful in feeding the organization information and the whereabouts of targets, the cost of maintaining his persona has begun to outweigh the benefits, especially if it possibly draws attention to the existence of the Aggrieved.
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Dustbringers' Market

Guild - Ghostly Wandering Merchants
Hailing from an abandoned marketplace in a long-dead city where the Veil between the realm of the living and the dead is nearly non-existent, several lingering dead have managed to leave the city and establish wandering markets in derelict sections of distant cities. They have achieved this through the use of mortal ‘handlers’, ragged humanoids who have forged a sort of pact with the dead of the city to serve as anchors for the ghostly merchants. Visitors to one of these markets, whether in its original city or one of its wandering offshoots, can trade their knowledge of the living world or more ephemeral wares such as memories and emotions in exchange for the long-forgotten knowledge of the dead city's people or whatever other secrets they've garnered from beyond the Land of the Dead. The Dustbringers have somehow managed to craft or acquire ghostly goods that provide boons to the living when it comes to dealing with or fighting the undead. Some are even willing to cut long-term deals and pacts with the living to acquire resources for their strange deathly economy.
Morof and Echessar: This pair is the most widely known members of the Dustbringers, accompanied by their ever-cloaked and silent human servant. They have come to reside in a city of the living, but the authorities take exception to their very existence, forcing them to stay on the move within the city walls. They set up their ghostly shop in different abandoned buildings or dark alleyways each night and simply wait. They are content to let the rumor mills bring customers to them, as they always seem to have something that entices prospective buyers, even with the strange prices they demand. The most common items they sell, if anything of theirs could be considered common, are lead coins stamped with a closed eye. Swallowing one of these coins renders the imbiber undetectable to the undead until it passes. Their usual fee for most purchases is measured in minutes of life per day, in perpetuity, from what remains of a customer’s natural lifespan. The portly Morof eagerly assures prospective customers that they won’t miss such a paltry sum of time. However, each night when the toll comes due and the disturbingly gaunt Echessar appears to collect, many feel they have chosen poorly as the shade’s icy hand reaches into them and pulls away threads of their soul. Such is the power of the Dustbringers’ deals that they are able to reach their customers wherever they may be on any plane. Should a client attempt to hide out elsewhere, the ghostly merchants are not above hiring others to retrieve them, so that they may collect what they are due, plus interest.
The Urn: One of the most powerful members of the Dustbringers, it has a cadre of lesser member shades of the guild bound to it by contracts etched upon large scrolls of thin lead sealed within ivory cases. These pacts seemingly predate the deaths of the Dustbringers’ mortal forms in centuries past and raise questions as to just how the demise of their city came about. The Urn itself is a massive vessel of cloudy black marble, weighing hundreds of pounds, with patterns traced in gold that subtly shift and flow. It has a brass cover at its top, with several fluted pipes emerging from it, curving upwards. Although it rarely moves, when it emerges from its vault-lair, it is carried on a great palanquin by a dozen mortal handlers. Through the deals it has struck with entities from the Land of the Dead, The Urn has extensive power over souls that have passed into that realm, summoning them forth for interrogation, torment, or to bind them back onto the mortal realm. It is even able to shape these recalled shades into physical objects with particular potency and protection against both the living and the dead. While The Urn allows its servant Dustbringers to conduct their deals in their own way, what it desires above all is vast quantities of physical wealth, such as gold and other valuable metals, along with gems of all kinds. Why The Urn would seek such extensive and mundane riches instead of the more ephemeral things like emotions or life force, which its kin typically traffic in, is a mystery. Some speculate that it aims to perform a ritual on behalf of a Power that it has contracted with, utilizing the symbolic connection and meaning of wealth to enact some drastic change to the mortal plane. Others believe that it is working towards building a powerful construct body through which it can personally enact its will. However, The Urn freely allows such conjecture, confident in its power to control other souls with minimal effort. The Urn does not manifest its ghostly form directly to interact with its servants or prospective clients. Instead, it emerges from the brass pipes at its apex as a sickly mist before occupying the body of one of its ragged mortal attendants. Even then, it rarely does so, instead relying on the fanatical devotion of its Dustbringer seneschals to negotiate on its behalf. It stirs to action only when it needs to call forth and shape a soul from beyond.
Zaunfe: Once a respected member of the Dustbringers, renowned for her ability to craft and transmute strong metaphysical sympathetic energy into physical objects and vice versa. However, fleeting traces of mortality constantly slipping through her spectral fingers began to torment her with fragmented memories of the life she once lived. Now, Zaunfe desires nothing less than to become mortal again. Despite not being formally expelled from the guild, it has been declared that none are to interact with her or allow her back into the city of their origin. If it became known just how many of their secrets she has been sharing in her pursuit of a new life, and the crimes she has committed against other shades, it is likely that they would actively hunt Zaunfe down and return her to the Land of the Dead by force if necessary. Unlike others in the guild, Zaunfe forms symbiotic pacts with the suffering mortals she comes across, giving them a longer lease on life than they might have had without her help. Unfortunately, she constantly leeches away her pact bonded associate's emotions and personality, mingling with hers until they are difficult to distinguish from one another. More than just keeping her partner alive, she is able to extend her spectral transmutation power through them, turning emotional connections into physical boons and weapons. With such objects, she reverts back to the mercantile nature at her core, wheeling and dealing with them to gain the allies and resources she requires. Given her knowledge of how the Land of the Dead and the mortal realm interact, she feverishly pursues leads on how to contact the Powers of that plane to forge whatever deal is necessary to be reborn. This pursuit for knowledge and those who possess it has proven exceedingly dangerous, and over the years she has led a number of her mortal partners to their own deaths. When untethered, Zaunfe is forced to rekindle and perpetuate her own essence through the consumption of powerful emotions, either elicited from nearby mortals or through the destruction of physical mementos that bear a great deal of sentimental value. In desperation, she has even consumed lost ghosts that she has encountered. These shades, often confused and trapped in the Veil of the mortal realm, are easy prey for one of their kind that possess full awareness and sentience. All of this consumption of emotion and personality has not come without a cost. Zaunfe now resembles little of the unique entity that she once was and is now an amalgamation of all the different beings she has fed upon in one way or another. While these conflicting impulses can sometimes drive her into fits of mania, what has remained a constant tethering influence to her soul is the overwhelming drive to attain life once again.
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Ruinous Dawn, The

Divine - Seekers of Deific Rebirth
A group of former heroes and remnants of a forgotten age of the multiverse. Their all-consuming desire for the rebirth of their divine patron has driven them to transcend mortality and resort to abhorrent methods to carry out their 'sacred' task, one that fervently believe will ultimately redeem the multiverse. Uzarial was one of the earliest celestial deities of the sun, life, and purification of evil, and their death in a catastrophic final conflict with an unknown Elder Entity is something the founders of the Ruinous Dawn have never truly accepted. Their goal is to resurrect Uzarial, seeing its return as the catalyst required to cleanse the wretched planes of what they consider to be pervading and all-consuming evil. Each member has vowed to use whatever means necessary in pursuit of the knowledge and power they need to breach the Vale of Dead Gods and usher forth Uzarial's return. Despite this, they believe that their actions constitute the ultimate good, a concept that exceeds the grasp of most mortal minds and is superior to the 'morality' of ordinary individuals. The current Gods of Light are viewed by the Dawn as either ineffective pretenders at best or complicit in the multiverse's defiled state through their inaction at worst. They aim to subsume all such false gods into the reborn Uzarial when the time comes, reclaiming their deific essence and putting it to proper use. The six elders of the Ruinous Dawn are scattered throughout the planes, each pursuing the 'Endeavor' in their own way. They meet every fifty years to pool their knowledge and make arrangements for the future. These summits often result in an ambitious act against perceived foes, as well as the setting in motion of complex plots towards their ultimate goal. Their schemes can range from the acquisition of required relics and artifacts to the realignment of several planes towards a configuration more suitable to their cosmic aims. Most founders of the Ruinous Dawn have long since ceased feeling remorse for their actions, no matter how questionable or amoral they may become. Those that do bear regret for all the lives they have spent seeking the God's return fully intend to suffer the judgement of their patron or scour themselves from existence as unworthy to reside in the paradise that will result. Several have attracted followers that share their cynical view of the planes and desire to resurrect Uzarial, or founded obscure faiths across the planes with the same intent. However, such allies are often seen as fleeting or expendable and are tested regularly, for the Ruinous Dawn is ever paranoid of infiltrators and those that would despoil their sacred Endeavor.
Alithrienne: Uzarial’s most devout mortal agent and an Exalted of demi-god like power, she took the celestial deity’s fall most severely and was a driving force towards the formation of the Dawn. Bearing a large portion of the fallen God’s power after their passing, she set about holding together what was left of their divine realm. Alithrienne fought to stave off planar usurpers and scavengers that sought to pick over its remains. If that was not enough, she was also forced to stave off other celestial entities and divine servitors that balked at a mortal claiming such a role. Despite considerable effort, even she and her allies were not able to prevent the gradual dissolution of Uzarial’s realm; infusions of celestial essence and sundered relics only delaying the inevitable. In a moment of despair and anguish, she plunged the God’s final relic, a great spear of pearlescent stone and golden light, through her own heart. She intended to give the last shreds of power in both herself and the weapon to the divine realm in a bid to halt its decay and ensconce it as a memorial within the Astral.
The inherent desperation of her act mixed with the unstable divine energies of the plane, the relics, and the Astral instead merged her soul with the last of Uzarial’s divine power. Alithrienne, the realm, and the great spear became one, an untethered demi-plane out of phase with the rest of the multiverse. Other members of the Dawn, still holding on to a semblance of their connection to the dead God, were able to locate it in this state and commune with the transcended Exalted. In her new form, she quite literally became the foundation of the Ruinous Dawn. While the further deterioration of Alithrienne’s realm has halted, it remains in a shattered state. It is composed of several dozen floating islands of broken marble-like rock covered in golden grass. Spires and temples of an opaque white glass are scattered across the islands, cracked, and crumbling but still held aloft even in pieces. The only structure that has remained whole is a grand temple of the same shimmering glass in the realm’s center, the seat of Alithrienne’s power and the meeting place for the rest of the Ruinous Dawn during their infrequent conclaves.
Nearly a true God herself, Alithrienne has been able to create minor servitors to watch over the realm, though they are little more than bird-like beings of light. The spear that was integral to her transcendence was once held in a reliquary of stained glass at the apex of the central cathedral. Still a greater relic in its own right, Alithrienne discovered that her consciousness and will reside in it as well. When wielded by a mortal, she would be able to freely traverse between the rest of the multiverse and her realm and assist the rest of the Dawn in its plot to resurrect Uzarial. Over the ages, Alithrienne, in her spear form, has been wielded by countless mortals; many willingly chose to bear her power and enact her will, but not all. When an accord could not be made with a bearer to serve, she would bring the full force of her semi-divine might down upon them. Such recusants are left as little more than puppets hollowed out by her terrible light; even if they were to be freed from Alithrienne spear, it would take a greater divine power to make them whole again. Through these wielders, legend and infamy has been carved across the multiverse by her actions, each a small part of the greater Endeavor. As the Ruinous Dawn’s plans grow ever closer to fruition, Alithrienne hopes deeply to serve as the cradle from which Uzarial may be reborn, even if she may be utterly consumed in the process.
talshir: A zealot in the service of Uzarial, he had spent his entire life operating in the shadows cast by the celestials’ divine light. Brought up from birth to eradicate enemies of the faith, Talshir remained steadfast in his crusade, even after the fall of his God. In fact, he saw the death of his deity as validation of his actions, as it demonstrated that anything was killable. However, Talshir's methods went beyond merely ending the lives of his adversaries, he went so far as to master the tools of his enemies, including forbidden mystical arts that would have marked him a heretic under normal circumstances. When he eventually joined the core founders of the Ruinous Dawn, Talshir discovered a newfound sense of purpose as part of the Endeavor. It was his destiny to be the left hand of the reborn God and usher in the demise of the hopelessly corrupt planes.
To achieve the longevity required for such a destiny, Talshir delved into the darkest secrets of soul magic and combined them with the knowledge of life provided to him by other members of the Dawn. Rather than consuming the souls of others, he chose to shatter his own soul into hundreds of fragments and scatter them throughout the multiverse. Although the results were unpredictable, the vast majority of his soul fragments were able to take root in mortal hosts. After Talshir's original body was placed in stasis in a hidden tomb, his will was able to manifest within those who bore his soul fragments, even across generations of their descendants. Spread across various planes, the Talshirs form a unified cult with a common purpose, and dozens of them are active on different mortal realms at any given time. While the personality of each Talshir may vary due to their diverse experiences, they are essentially simulacrum of the original, sharing his mind if not his physical body. The Prime Talshir is the singular host in which the full consciousness of the original Talshir is able to manifest, representing the Talshirs at the Ruinous Dawn's conclaves and issuing orders to the others. During the years between conclaves, the Prime Talshir takes it upon himself to visit each of the other Talshirs individually, in order to ensure their continued adherence to their mission. Any Talshir who has strayed too far from their task is dealt with in a manner that Talshir himself refers to as being 'returned to the source'. In such cases, a new incarnation is sent to take their place, even if it takes years for one to manifest.
Shephard of Eternity: Once a grand paladin of an inter-planar order, sworn to Uzarial, their name has been deliberately purged from history. They made a glorious sacrifice in order to obtain the power necessary to bolster the martial forces of the Ruinous Dawn. By rending open their own soul, they established a direct conduit to the Plane of Life, a realm of positive energy from which all nascent souls originate. Using this raw creative energy, they have created a legion of homunculi to serve the Endeavor. Over the centuries, in order to sustain the portal within their body, this individual, having come to be known as the Shephard, replaced most of their body with sanctified metals and sacred stones, effectively becoming a construct save for their heart and a few other organs.
Embracing their role as the forgemaster of the Dawn, the Shephard is driven to perfect their creations to better serve the cause of their allies. While they often lament the necessity of forcing pure and untainted souls into new forms, the Shephard sees it as a necessary act to preserve the planes in the long run, confident that Uzarial will purge them of any suffering they might experience once the rebirth of reality comes. Although most of their creations are humanoid in appearance, with stone-like opaline flesh and silver armaments, the Shephard aspires to create artificial angels to serve as the ultimate shock troops in the eventual siege of the Vale of Dead Gods. However, they have thus far met with limited success, as their pseudo-angels of condensed soul-stuff prove to be highly volatile and prone to mutation, resulting in horrific forms with too many limbs and eyes. Nevertheless, even in their malformed state, these creations have proven useful against the enemies of the Dawn and those who have stumbled across their secret existence. Despite the accolades of their comrades, the Shephard has grown increasingly despondent over their failure to create a true angel. They have begun to engage their private homunculi forces to delve into the primeval ruins of the First War between the Gods and Primordials in search of the secrets that led to the first angels' creation.
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There is a common misconception that success in high school requires selection into as many Advanced Placement (AP) classes as possible, with a general rule of only taking one math class per year unless one is a senior or enrolled in AP Statistics or Calculus. However, gaining admission to multiple AP classes necessitates a wide range of talents, and there is hope for those not admitted into a variety of AP classes. Students who have taken Algebra II in eighth grade have the opportunity to take three math classes as freshmen, such as AP Statistics, Geometry, and College-Algebra/Trigonometry, despite the prevailing belief that only one math class should be taken per year, and taking three instead of one lets them to stay competitive with their peers who gained admissions into more AP classes than they did. The flexibility of public schools to offer such an option allows students to surpass the perceived advantages of private schools and bridge any placement gaps. Moreover, this approach increases the likelihood of admission to college because math is a critical subject that is often poorly taught but can be remedied through diligence and unconventional strategies.
Those who do not adopt such unconventional thinking may be unable to utilize their math skills to their full potential, potentially impeding their ability to succeed. While a few students are capable of completing the entire calculus single-variable sequence with scores of five by taking one math class per year, such students are rare. Moreover, transferring to a private school to acquire educational benefits may come at a cost of several disorienting experiences due to unfamiliarity with the student body. While one can only choose one high school and time is limited, there is always a "what if" question that lingers, regardless of one's choice.

I'm 22f, I'll be graduating from a pretty good state school in December in Marketing. I'll be graduating with no loans because I'm first gen and low-income, and have been fortunate to have a parent help me out with my expenses and being able to live at home and commute. I was able to study abroad in Barcelona, Spain last semester. I didn't realize it at the time but since being back, I'm realizing that was probably the peak of my life. I thought being abroad for four months would get the travel bug outta me, but it seems like my sense of wanderlust has grown more. I miss exploring and being able to get a $30 Ryanair flight to another country on the weekends. I feel like right now at this moment I'm outgrowing my hometown a little bit. I have a boyfriend and I just adopted a cat, I think he would be open to whichever option I chose and would be down to join me.
It seems almost overwhelming with almost all the paths I could take post-grad, I'm also paralyzed with fear. I'm also dreading being done with school a little bit trying to make a decision on my life
option 1- get a job in another state related to my degree. States that would interest me would be Colorado, Oregon, Washington state (pretty much all of the west coast), or North Carolina and Tennessee (hoping for a lower cost of living)
option 2 - live at home for another year or so and move into my own place later. Hearing people talk about the increasing COL is making me nervous if I could afford to live on my own
option 3 - I flew a plane last summer and have thought about becoming a pilot throughout the past year. Pilot school is expensive af though. I'd probably have to live at home for another year for sure. Looking at ATP flight school it's like 100,000 in private loans. Or join the air force hoping to become a pilot but it'd be like a ten year commitment before I could work on a commercial airline.
option 4 - take a TEFL course and move to South Korea or Taiwan to teach English. My boyfriend wants me to pick this option
option 5 - do the Australia work visa for a year or so, hopefully in some office work so I can try to loop it into my field when I come back home
It's hard because there's a part of me that wants to travel the world, but another part of me that wants to save and get a good job and further my career because I grew up poor. My parents are also very work-oriented and don't really have the urge to travel, so I feel like it may be frowned upon. Or they may feel like I'm tossing away my good degree.
Thank you in advance!!

Hi all! First thing's first, congratulations to everyone who matched. I know not everyone got their desired specialty or location, but the horror that is residency applications is now past us and the only thing to do now is keep moving forward. Things will eventually fall into place. For those who didn't match, I'm so sorry. This process is brutal - emotionally and financially - and I hope you're holding up alright.
This post is for my fellow IMGs (honestly US students too if you vibe with it). I understand that the anxiety of going through this whole process eats away at you when you're feeling overwhelmed and underprepared, so I'd like to detail my journey from the beginning until now for those that may find solace in reading others' stories, especially if you identify with it. Those that hyperfocus on timing of exams and USCE, and the 'who what where when why' of things might appreciate this; I'll explain my strategy when approaching different parts of the application. What I ultimately hope to convey is 1. even the mediocre students can make it, and 2. there's no one 'right way' to do things. And I hope that this is able to encourage you to continue pushing forward, especially if you feel you're at a standstill in your own journey.
Growing up I was never the most academically disciplined. I sometimes joke that I was the only Asian in school that took majority regulars classes. I was fortunate in that my mother had the singular requirement that I simply not fail any classes, so that's pretty much what I did. I coasted through school while I saw friends beat themselves up over grades better than I ever even strived for. The way everyone stressed over getting into great colleges? High SAT scores? Foreign concepts to me. That same attitude carried through to med school.
I ended up not applying to colleges in the US and instead decided to go to Latin America to study for XYZ reasons. My grades were decent first year, worse second year, and even worse third year. When I say I was mediocre, I mean mediocre. It was to the point where I had to get >25/30 on final exams to pass classes, and I spent all three years stressed out of my mind because I was always in danger of failing something. It wasn't because I was dumb. Laziness is powerful, and I just never cared enough to sit down and study properly for anything.
Rotations were better; I'm better working with my hands than with my face in a book. I had fun in the hospital, as crazy and fast-paced as it is. Grades were still meh, because I still wasn't actually studying. I essentially spent my clinical years learning empirically instead of academically. This also doesn't mean I didn't know anything. No life was ever in danger because of my lack of knowledge. I simply do horribly on written exams and never cared to strive for A's.
Graduation came and went (2020) and I moved back to the states in 2021 to begin preparing for Step in July. I took Step 1 November 2021, OET January 2022, and Step 2 end of May 2022. Step 1 was average, and I don't actually know my Step 2 score lol. I wrote two incredibly detailed posts (1,2) about my Step 1 experience. This means there is a gap in my CV from October 2020 to November 2021, but I decided Step studying and 'moving my entire damn life back to the states' was good enough of an excuse to bullshit my way through if asked about during interviews.
My approach to apps in general were: do everything on time and completed before September, fill up my CV as much as I could with extra US associated stuff by September (and afterward in case I didn't match and had to update my CV for the 2024 cycle), and network as much as possible, which included joining online Psych caucus meetings and going to annual Psych conferences.
USCE was done in:

• May 2022: IM, private clinic. Through connections, and I got an LOR from the doctor. She specifically mentioned I want Psych in the letter. LOR strength maybe 7/10.
• June 2022: IM, big name hospital. Also through connections. He also mentioned I want Psych in the letter. Strongest LOR by far. 9.5/10.
• July 2022: Psych, private, remote. Googled the man, had to pay for it. Horrible bedside manner, etiquette a solid 0 in all aspects. The epitome of the type of psychiatrist not to be. Got an LOR, didn't even use it.
• July, August 2022: Psych, private, remote. Through connections. Loved this guy. Was the only Psych LOR I used, even if it was painfully average, short, and generic sounding (but still sincere in a way). 7/10.

I didn't want to have any gaps in my CV now that post-Nov 2021 I emerged from Step hermit land and there was activity again, so I took up volunteering at a health center September 2022 and started tutoring high school students in Spanish. I've also been doing Psych related research since May 2022 with a well known CAP PD, and I was able to fill my CV with stuff I've done since meeting her.
My PS was written painstakingly slowly between July and August 2022 and sent to 10+ people to edit. Too many? Yes. But I had an idea of how I wanted it to look, and my FOMO meant the more eyes, the better. I knew which edits to accept and which to reject. What I looked for in edits were things I was missing that I wasn't noticing, better wording, and order of information (what to mention in which paragraph?). There were enough edits that my PS was improved substantially, but not so many that I lost my voice. I asked non-medical, medical non-Psych, and Psych people to read it, because I wanted perspectives from all sides.
What I lacked in academically I made up for in other areas. I filled up every single character in the hobbies section. I put mainly non-medical things in the supplemental application. I complemented an experience in PS with one of the entries in the supplemental (as well as an entry in my main CV), so things were connected throughout my entire application and explained in detail in different ways. My strategy here was for them to see I didn't only care about medicine and that I've done and do more things with my time that are enriching to my person and would contribute to my formation as a psychiatrist. Sounds corny, but it worked. Instead of filling my app with medicine, medicine, and medicine (understandable for more academically competitive specialties), I focused on everything outside of it and somehow made a type of association with medicine in the end. Besides the common questions asked in interviews, people mainly focused on my extracurriculars and asked what I did outside of medicine. I suppose I'm fortunate in wanting Psych since it's easier to do that than in other specialties, so obviously take this all with a huge ass grain of salt.
Applications were sent out the moment ERAS opened. I edited my CV with a friend (another applicant) the day before so she could catch errors I glossed over, and also for moral support. But I asked a non-medical friend to help me write my CV beforehand because she's chef's kiss for these kinds of things and I am very much not.
Before each interview I took propranolol cause I shake like no other when under pressure. I had an entire Word doc with every question from the Psych spreadsheet (and my answers in bullet points) on one half of the screen, and the video call on the other half. I made sure I was in a well lit and quiet area, with minimal visual contamination behind me. If I didn't know how to answer a question, I would stall in the most natural way possible. The way you look on paper gets you the interview. Once you're in the interview, social skills come into play and are in large part what determines if and where they rank you, so it was imperative for me to shine through with how I sat, how I spoke, how I answered, and damn, even how I breathed.
I sent out my LOI at the end of January, written with the help of two friends, and got a hopeful response from the PD. Didn't read too much into it, but I rode the wave of confidence until Match Day. Ended up matching there, and here we are now.
My point with all of this is:

• There's no magic recipe for success. People will tell you IM rotations for Psych are a bad idea. Others will tell you 0 publications = 0 IVs. What matters is how you frame these experiences in your application and IVs. I said I did IM rotations because IM's important. When is it not? It doesn't take away from the type of physician I'll be in the future, but rather adds to it.
• Prepare for everything. Do things on time. Strategize. I started networking at the beginning of last year, and even if I didn't get IVs in places I had connections, these are all people that know me now, and they have seen my progress since meeting them a year ago. I started forming these relationships preemptively because I didn't want to start residency at 0.
• Your attitude matters. The way you see yourself matters. Have confidence in yourself! You've made it this far. But don't be cocky. It is possible to consider yourself intelligent and still be humble. It is also possible to consider yourself intelligent and have it backfire because arrogance gets in the way of adequate progress. And the more negative the mindset, the worse the outcome. Not always, but the people I know with such a negative view of the world and negative approach to Step and applications have had the worst performance since beginning this entire process. Understand that you are objectively capable of doing what everyone else is doing. Own your shit.
• You can match with Step attempts. You can match with CV gaps. You can match with YOGs > 5y. You can match no matter what your credentials.
• Basically, understand how to play the system. Work smarter, not harder. Work hard regardless, but ensure that the return on the work you put in is worth it in the end. Understand what these programs want. Understand that the way you present yourself to them matters. Learn how to catch their attention, and be prepared when it's your turn to speak.

Thank you if you've read this entire thing. And as always, AMA.

Bored as hell. None at office. I wanna chat and can be lil flrity too lol
I am from united states and 24 year old anyway. If that matters lol. Well.. I am bored these days!
About me: I'm in business school and I work as a shop manager on the side. I like shopping, going out for dinner and drinks, reading, art, gaming a little, working out and game night with friends.
I don't care if our hobby's match, Lets go ahead and have some fun! We can start online with sharing our private photos and may be some cam calls? Lets see where it goes?

I am taking 3 courses in private school (2 are upgrades): advanced functions, english and calculus. Do programs like queens commerce and york schulich use an adjustment factor and allow these upgrades?

Anyone up? I am a young single momma and got crazy Sx Drive I think lol.
I am from united states and 26 year old anyway. If that matters lol. Well.. I am bored these days!
About me: I'm in business school and I work as a shop manager on the side. I like shopping, going out for dinner and drinks, reading, art, gaming a little, working out and game night with friends.
I don't care if our hobby's match, Lets go ahead and have some fun! We can start online with sharing our private photos and may be some cam calls? Lets see where it goes?

Hey everyone! I am a school counseling student in NJ and I am slated to graduate in August! This summer I will have completed practicum and internship 1&2 and I just have two more classes before I graduate.
I am nervous about getting a job because I feel like the field is competitive. My supervisors say I will be in good shape because I am young, a guy, and have experience with urban youth and individuals with disabilities. I have applied to a few schools just to put my name out there, but am I jumping the gun? I’m so excited to start working, but should I wait until August when I am completely certified?
Any advice helps :)

Hello guys,
So my gf and I have been dating since November but became official in January. Long story short, she’s VERY successful and lives in Miami. She has a great career in tech. I am a musician based out of LA and got an opportunity to tour, unfortunately the touring did not work out so I decided to finish my nursing degree at a very expensive private nursing school and I continue to make money online with videos. She comes to la often and I have been to Miami a few times. But recently it’s been hard financially. I just paid 18k for school and I have unexpected health bills, and taxes since I run my own company. My gf wants me to drop out of school to live with her but I do find value in finishing a nursing degree as the times and economy are unstable and I want stable income. My gf expects me to fly out to Miami over spring break. But it’s expensive. Round trip is 1k and I don’t have 1k to throw around. My gf also has told me she doesn’t want to date anyone broke. I wouldn’t consider myself broke but I do need to pay for school, rent, groceries, and save for a house. Should I ask her to pay? I don’t want to use her or make her feel like I’m taking advantage. But she’ll also be upset if I don’t go. Help :/

My wife(23F) and I(25M) have a baby boy. I am very much a planner and am trying to financial secure a good future for us. I found this page several months ago and have been trying to apply as mich as I can. That said here is the situation.
I am trying to plan out future emergencysavings, house savings, investments, etc. We live in the U.S. and my wife is very firm on wanting to do private school. Not based on education purposes, but afraid of our son being in a school shooting. I tried explaining to her that the possibility of that is a little over 10 million to 1. I feel like dishing out for a public school would delay my financial goals of earlier retirement. 12-13 years of private school payments, invested instead, would easily help me retire more healthily and at a sooner state.
It's not that I don't care about my son's safety, it's just that I don't go outside worrying if he will get hit by lightning. That is to say the chances are so low, I just pretend they aren't even there. It feels like my spouse wants to spend Tens of thousands of dollars for something very unlikely to happen. How do I help her feel that her need is met without making a large impact to my FIRE?

I lost my job again today.
After summer, my contract will not be renewed to teach next year at my current school. It’s a bummer, really. I’ve never been at a school for very long. I stayed only one year at my last school before my headmistress and a few of her friends bullied me out, and two years at the school before that. Before that was job chaos. Supplementary teaching and all that. This time, I was quite sure I’d spend a long time, maybe the entirety of my future in one place, seeing multiple generations of students grow, living together with them in class, sharing a part of their journey, sending them off. Really build something.
I left my last school, but while I requested the transfer, it was my headmistress who chose to bully me out. She felt criticized by my efforts to build a student-teacher-body that would discuss the school’s smaller issues on a weekly basis and help foster an atmosphere of mutual respect and caring. It was explained in detail in the project presentation she had asked me to take charge of, and approved at the big conference, but after more and more colleagues and students came to me to ask for help dealing with the horrendous climate at the school, I became a threat and was ordered into her office more and more often on complete bogus allegations, always to do with conspiracy against her. I suffered two massive nervous breakdowns, was put in a facility, and ultimately diagnosed with (a very rare form of) ASD. I had put too much effort into acclimatizing, making everyone comfortable, always being nice, always smiling, but not too weirdly, working more than everyone else but never taking credit, always showing others interest and respect, always helping but never demanding, never, ever, ever defending myself. Autistic burnout, I found out much later, is what it’s called.
When I started at my current school, I told the headmistress that I had ASD and asked only that I be told what to do directly, and to speak to me face to face if there ever were any issues. Once again, I started building excellent rapport with my students and colleagues and was very happy. I still did most of the above, but less so. I made an additional effort of trying to be more honest and not mask so much, but to also tell people that I am autistic and to please believe my words when I say that I like them, respect them, enjoy being here, and so on. I heaped the effort of being myself a bit and carving a place for me out of their midst, to not behave like a guest who could ultimately never be accepted because he hadn’t asked for acceptance in the first place. It went well. Everything became more relaxed as most colleagues did indeed show me acceptance and compassion. So did students, but that’s not new. Students are great. But of course, it’s easier to be great to someone who isn’t your peer, to someone whose entire existence in your world is reduced to the function of helping you – a function I enjoy fulfilling. It makes sense. I can extend the structure of my brain to encompass the classroom. I can feel the other minds around me adapting to that structure, let them add their own influences, and we can interact within this framework in a safe, tender, and highly productive way, without ego in the way. We can speak about this structure – communicate metasocially. It’s part of the job. And it’s what others outside of class hate the most.
Peers and bosses hate their ego being questioned so much, they’ll see question marks in anything that isn't perfectly straight. They’ll see challenges where there was support, disrespect where there was in fact nothing at all. The void is filled with affronts to them.
When we sat down for the department conference in early fall, my department head and her bestie had already written the finished document for a proposal we were supposed to hash out together. They raced through it so fast they barely had time to scan the room briefly between each item. It was clear that input was not welcome. I gave none, of course, as I’m not insane. But the situation was very stressful and I had been having a tough day neurologically. I like saying that my nerves were a bit more inflamed than baseline. I’m sure you know what I mean.
When they were finished, they did pause and ask if everyone was d’accord. I said nothing, but was probed. So I delicately said that we might want to consider adding one half-sentence at the top that could prevent parents from getting the wrong idea about something. What ensued felt to me like all the doors in all the rooms had been ripped open to let a torrent engulf me. I was yelled at from multiple directions without reprieve, and all I could do was fold my arms and stay silent. My shock must have shown in my eyes. I eventually put in my ear phones – which I had explained on numerous occasions to be necessary for my very painful auditory hypersensitivity – and said that it’s fine, I’m overruled, when I had the chance. They wouldn’t stop, though. They asked me over and over to agree, and I could only say that it’s fine, they are the majority, I don’t agree but it’s not a big deal, we can just go ahead. It didn’t help much. I know my voice was very shaky when I said that I don’t understand why I’m being yelled at. Eventually, I had to go back to other work and excused myself.
In the months that followed, everything went great. Only my department head D. never looked at me or greeted me again. There were issues with my headmistress – things like anonymous complaints having been filed against me that I was never allowed to hear or respond to, only to apologize. There were claims that I had been grading some students too highly to make my colleagues look bad. Claims that I had been teaching too difficult and too easy things, that I was too loose and too rigid in my methods. Nothing ever made sense at all, and I am extremely confident in my work – I know exactly what I’m doing. My headmistress not getting it when she sat in a few times doesn’t change that. For context, I have been the most highly rated teacher at all my previous positions, I even got an award for being #1 in the city in the private sector a few years back. My uni professors asked me why the hell I wanted to become a teacher as my talent would be wasted. Even at my current school, where I’ve only been 6 months, colleagues come to me for advice on all manners of problems, including matters of delicate communication and legal advice. But my headmistress always assumed I was in the wrong every time anyone said anything and never let me respond once.
So last week, when she did offer me to stay another year, she told me to go to my department and sort out these complaints. I should make an effort to reach them a hand. It didn’t matter, of course, that I still have excellent rapport with almost all of them – minus the department head, and maybe 1-2 of her cronies. But I wrote to D. to ask to talk about these complaints. We met, and she said she hadn't complained – but then started on a tirade on how essentially everyone hates me ever since the fall conference. She said that it’s only natural noone likes me after I put on such a show of trying to force my will onto the document, that I was emotional, aggressively screaming and pounding the table with my fist. The idea is beyond ridiculous. I’m physiologically almost incapable of being overemotional in any situation. And the more distressed I become, the more cool and rational I get. I haven’t shown anyone aggression in school a single time in my life, I never scream, and if I had pounded the stupid table, there’d be no more table. I’m a very big dude, muscly and bald, and my voice is deep. It couldn’t be easier to just claim that they’re scared of me and it’s just immediately assumed as truth. Other colleagues asked if I was joking when I told them this, by the way. I haven’t had a single interaction at my workplace, be it with students, colleagues, headmistress or cleaning personnel, that I didn’t intensely deliberate before and after to make sure I didn’t tread on anyone’s feelings or interests. Other people are like butterfly wings to me. Me, aggressively screaming? Get out.
But I did ask D. to please communicate with my directly from now on instead of talking behind my back for half a year, and I did not apologize. Well, the next day, Friday, I was asked to come to the headmistress’ office on Monday. I did my job smilingly, as I always do. I prepared myself for anything and silently wondered why the headmistress had spoken in a slightly nicer voice to me, as had both of my HR counsels, whom the headmistress had chosen and don't particularly like me either. (One had told me a few weeks ago that my work had no pedagogical value(!) because a few students had complained that I was being too strict on them. They had majorly messed up on a big event and let other students do ALL the work for them and they refused to take responsibility. I maintain that I had to – calmly and professionally – ask them to reflect on this as irresponsible behaviour for 18-year-olds. He said this to me before asking me what I had even said to them.)
She slid over my termination papers. I asked whether my side of things were of any interest, but she just answered that she had worked with D. for 8 years and trusted her. There had been no other exchange, nothing. D. told her that I had been aggressive and overemotional in our conversation, and then I was fired.
I said thank you, smiled, and left for a voluntary training seminar I had signed up for. I heard nothing, though. There is this numbness that protects me when I’m not okay. It prevents my limbs and my face from moving too much, and it keeps the rumbling inside my chest until I figure out what to do with it. The contrast became a bit painful, though. I went home and alternated rapidly between wanting to make a very threatrical and morbid scene in her office, trying to summon enough power to reassure my girlfriend who is too fragile to prop me up in situations like this and just gets unhelpfully concerned for me, wanting to drink, eat, do nothing, train, write scathing memoirs or some art crap, or maybe make a threatrical and morbid scene. Or show up to work smiling. Or crying. Of course, that just means that I sit around being normal and not showing anything going on inside me, and eventually I will just continue acting reasonably. I’ve already started, actually. I’m applying for a position at uni, one of my old professors is looking for a prae doc. I might write a thesis on the effects of pathetic narcissists in powerful positions at educational institutions.
My gf did help me realize something I had been half-thinking, however. D and the headmistress had both continuously been telling me that I am unable to see how others view me, that my earphones were insulting, that I was aggressive no matter what I said and did, that I was making scenes when I was doing anything less than crying “yes” and “amen” to being abused, even if I just quietly said that I’m uncomfortable. It hit me that another colleague had actually told me that I was not disabled. That everyone was a little disabled and I’m clearly not any more disabled than anyone else. Multiple instances came back in which D. had acted surprised and sort of… annoyed when I reiterated that I was indeed autistic and had a few minor special needs.
I’ve improved so much since my diagnosis. I did really well, I think. There were far more successes than failures, and man, I put so goddamn much into this work. But it doesn’t matter.
Being autistic is the experience of pouring everything you’ve got into making yourself as useful and everyone else as comfortable as possible and being rejected anyway.
I’ve been – again – been bullied out of my workplace due to ableism.