Stranger things pfp

While this post may be a bit long, I appreciate it advance anyone who takes the time to read it for an anxious person like me, and even a quick comment goes a long way. Apologies in advance as many of these "concerns" are probably just over-thinking and just need a straight answer -- but this community has been very helpful in the past so figured I'd post here for y'all's honest replies.
First off, we are a young couple. Mid-20's and from downtown Chicago. We are both fairly attractive, good builds and not overweight. She is bi, and while I am not interested in sexual contact/penetration with another man, I'm not freaked out by the mere sight of another penis or seeing a man's naked body near mine, etc. As of now, we're looking to start experiencing other people/couples in the means of a FFM threesome, parallel play, or even just a hangout/drinking that involves some easy games that maybe involve kissing, etc.
My question/concern #1 has to do with our age. As a young and (at the risk of sounding egotistical) attractive couple, are we more "in demand"? Will it be hard to find young people/couples like us who are interested in these kinds of things...is that community of people more older? We would be probably most/only comfortable with other females/couples in their 20's, early 30's like us. Is that an immediate barrier that we need to drop?
2 is just, what's the best way to jump in? Other than having a conversation deciding yeah we wanna get freaky with another person(s), what's a good first concrete step to take? I often see people just saying "go to a sex club" with no other help offered, but idk, that seems pretty intense for newbies like us just trying to dip their toe and start to try something. Sometimes people suggest apps...but which fit our needs for a young couple in Chicago?
3 is just safety. Can meeting up with other people like this be dangerous for sex trafficking, etc.? Is there anything to know other than just general "be smart" ideas?
Thanks in advance to any kind stranger who takes a second to respond. All the best.

Im numb
It's been two weeks. Two weeks since my ex said she doesn't think a relationship will work right now. We spent nearly two years together. We went from strangers to best friends and lovers to what feels like strangers again. She had a daughter who I got crazy attached to and loved seeing. But now I have nothing.
She pulled the rug out from under me and my whole world got rocked. I loved this girl more than anything. I feel pathetic for letting it get to me this much. I'm 30 and this was my first major relationship. I loved every second I had with her. I loved all the small little things she did when she was nervous or anxious or anything. I thought what we had was the best ever. She would always say "at our wedding....." or "i can't wait to see the future with you by my side". But I guess that was all wrong. I saw myself spending the rest of my life with her. That's all I wanted. I know right now wasn't the best time for either of us to even move in together but I honestly thought she was the one. We clicked on every level and understood each other. Nothing ever felt forced. Guess I was wrong
She said she doesn't have romantic feelings anymore. She loves me but isn't in love with me. I know she's had a rough few months. I know I was the first healthy relationship she's had in over 10 years (her ex was extremely abusive and controlling) but I feel like I fucked up and did something wrong for her to push me to the side so quick and become so cold and distant to me. We went from being best friends to total strangers within maybe 48 hours. I don't get it. I wish she would have talked to me about it all. I wish I could know what she was feeling and worked through it. I find myself wanting to message her during the day like I used to but I know I'm probably the last person she wants to hear from. We're still friends. I sincerely hope she just needs time to deal with what life has thrown at her within the last 3 months and maybe we can talk it out and get back together, but honestly I know that's probably never going to happen. I just wish I could tell her in person how much her and her daughter mean to me and that I never want to lose them but that won't happen. I'm hurt, I'm upset, I'm numb. To everything. I have no emotions and everything in life right now feels so exhausting.

♈️ Aries: Today is a day of tension in relationships, so it's important to be open and honest with your partner. Single Aries will have the opportunity to meet someone new and refreshing. Progress may be slow, but don't give up. Creative Aries will have plenty of inspiration today. Your stomach may be a weak spot, so be moderate with alcohol and fatty foods. Consider taking a break from your everyday life and take a trip somewhere. Jupiter will be your lucky charm today, and the numbers 24 and 64 will bring you luck. You will feel energetic and ready to take on any challenge, so it's the perfect time to try something new.
♉️ Taurus: Single taurus signs should be wary of Libra signs, as their relationship may lack passion. Professionally, you will be feeling driven and inspired, and you may even be approached by someone who can help you with your career. Health wise, it would be beneficial to have a nutritious meal instead of fast food, and if you are a smoker, today is the day to start cutting down. When it comes to travel, research the internet for cheaper alternatives. Your lucky numbers for today are 17 and 19. Lastly, spending time with a Gemini will help you feel more balanced and focused, which will help you tackle the challenges that lie ahead.
♊️ Gemini: Today is a day of love and passion for you, Gemini. Venus is sending you energy that is full of love, passion and lust, so make sure to be more affectionate towards your partner. Professionally, you are on a challenging path of endurance, but Neptune is sending you good energy, making you feel more creative than usual. Expect a business related call today. Health wise, your immune system is very sensitive now, so make sure to drink more fluids and to enhance your vitamin intake. If you are planning to travel to a country in Asia or Africa in the near future, make sure that you have done your research and immerse yourself in the culture. Financially, luck won't be on your side today, but you will have lots of good luck when it comes to social interactions. Emotionally, you won't feel all too good today, so it would be best if you gave your best friend a call. Today is not the best day to make big, or potentially life changing decisions.
♋️ Cancer: Your personal life might be a bit rocky right now, but it will pass. Single Cancers should look to Libra signs for companionship. At work, some of your co-workers may be feeling jealous of your success. If you are unemployed, you may finally get the call you have been waiting for. To stay healthy, make sure to make healthier choices and avoid snacking between meals. Traveling has been on your mind lately, so why not plan a trip with friends? You are naturally lucky, but don't expect any extra luck today. Emotionally, you have it all under control and your ruler sign is sending you powerful energy to keep you afloat.
♌️ Leo: Today is a day of positive energy and charm for leos. There may be a change in their love life soon, and taken signs should seek support from their partner. Professionally, all the hard work is paying off and leos should feel proud of themselves. Health wise, leos may experience a headache or migraine due to poor sleep. Traveling is not something that can be afforded right now, but Jupiter is sending powerful energy and the number 20 is a lucky number. Emotionally, leos may feel good but miss the connection with their family.
♍️ Virgo: Single signs should be prepared for mixed messages from their crush, while taken signs should plan something special for their loved one. Professionally, you are doing great, but it is important to start managing your money more efficiently. Health wise, you may experience some pain in your back or a headache, so yoga could be beneficial. If you have a long commute to work, use that time to do something productive like reading or learning something new. Today is your lucky day, so make the most of it! The Moon will help you express your emotions and sharpen your instincts, so now is the perfect time to pick up some new healthy habits.
♎️ Libra: Single signs will have a great day with the company of an Aquarius. If you are in a relationship, today is the perfect day for a romantic date. Make sure to communicate your needs and wishes clearly with your partner. Financially, things are looking up and there is a new opportunity for investment coming your way. Focus on your goals and take care of your mental health too. If someone from your friend group is talking about traveling, ask them if you can join them. The numbers 14, 17, and 22 will bring you lots of luck today, so do something kind for a stranger. There is some tension in the air due to previous events, so do something that will get rid of that negative energy.
♏️ Scorpio: Today is a great day for Scorpios who have just entered relationships, as Venus is sending some strong, mysterious energy your way. Your career is also doing amazing, and you may even be offered a better paid position or a full promotion. It's time to make some changes to your lifestyle to reduce stress and do something good for yourself and your health. You may also be thinking about moving to a place you recently travelled to. The numbers 19 and 86 will have a special meaning for you today, but it's best to avoid investing or gambling. Don't be afraid to ask your friends for emotional support if you're feeling overwhelmed.
♐️ Sagittarius: Single signs may not feel like flirting today, as the power of Venus is in full effect. Married couples should be aware that a small disagreement may arise at the end of the day. Financially, it's important to be more considerate with your money and to create a budget. Health wise, pay attention to your legs as they may be feeling weak and painful. If there is a destination you have been dreaming about, now is the time to make it a reality. Jupiter is sending you lucky vibes and the numbers 33 and 34 are your lucky numbers. Emotionally, you will feel good and light and you will enjoy being around elderly members of your family today.
♑️ Capricorn: Today is a day of reflection for you, Capricorn. In your personal life, there is a big problem that needs to be addressed - dishonesty. Be honest with your partner and tell them what's happening. Single signs may find themselves being flirted with by a Pisces. In terms of your professional life, unemployed signs may get a call from an employer, while employed signs need to step up their game today as your boss will be watching. Health wise, you haven't been eating properly and you are starting to feel the consequences of that. You are more prone to outbreaks today, so make sure to take care of yourself. If you are traveling to a destination that is at least 5 hours away by plane, make sure to bring something to help you sleep through the flight if you struggle with that. The number 24 will bring good luck and energy for you today, but don't gamble with large sums of money. Emotionally, you are feeling good and stable, so try to find a healthy way to work on your feelings.
♒️ Aquarius: Today is a day of romance and feisty energy for aquarius. Single signs might receive a text from someone they haven't thought of as a potential suitor. Financially, it might be a good idea to invest in further education, but stay away from Scorpio co-workers. Health wise, be careful with your throat and boost your immune system by eating healthier. Traveling might be nothing more than a fantasy today, so save up some money for it to become reality. At the end of the day, you will experience some minor financial luck, but don't invest in vehicles. Emotionally, it might be hard to be around family today as they are causing you a lot of stress and making you worry about things from the past.
♓️ Pisces: Personal life: You may be feeling a lot of pain inside, and it is important to take the time to heal before you can open up to someone else. Married Pisces signs should be aware of the energy that Venus is sending them. Professionally, things will be fine, but you may feel a bit bored. Consider asking a co-worker out for a meal or a drink to build a stronger bond. Health wise, if you are having vision problems, make sure to see a doctor right away. Exercise more regularly to stay healthy. If you are traveling by car to another country, be prepared for any delays at the border. Avoid gambling and other activities that involve taking risks with money. Emotionally, it is important to face your fears and deal with them in a healthy way. Talk to the people you love and trust.

Just as the title suggests, I have stage fright and I have a difficult time presenting in front of a crowd. The thing is that it's not that I'm scared to walk up there or anything but it's more like my physical body can't handle it while my mental state has no problem with it. When I present I start to stutter* quite a bit even though I know exactly what I need to say without needing any type of text to help me back it up, and my legs start shaking(don't know how severe) uncontrollably. My stage fright has basically devolved into innate animalistic fear that is very difficult to overcome.
I consider myself pretty sociable and confident(debatable) as well as I could strike up a conversation with a stranger without much trouble but I just can't overcome stage fright. Does anyone know tips that I can use to help cope with this?
I thought that after boosting confidence in myself(been working out for the past 8 or so months) I would naturally be able to overcome it but it was quite ineffective.
I'm posting this because I just had a mock presentation as preparation for a competition and while I tried my best to present my part in the group but I just couldn't stop stuttering like crazy, and I was bracing myself against the table, thankfully my groupmate was able to catch on to it and help finish the rest of the mock presentation. This has left me pretty annoyed at myself since I spent quite a bit of effort on this entire project and was unable to voice my research/proposals.
*While I'm very fluent in English(native speaker level) It's still my second language so I stutter on average more than your typical person in normal conversations.

Im not married , we may as well be , he bought the house and car , cash. No ring involved.. but to buy a house and car and put it in someone elses name is a big step.... But anyways, its all in my name... well we are separating.... I will be moving out and giving him what's all his.... I will be taking my daughter and starting from scratch... its been absolutely horrible since we have bought a house together... things are physically, emotionally, mentally abusive, draining, and just down right nasty.... so I have decided to do what I've been told to do and move back to my moms at 24 and start over with nothing once again after leaving my childs dasher who was a horrible abusive drunk..... I just found out about an hour ago my boyfriend whom I bought a housewith has been video sex-ing strangers online.... I just need some encouragement to actually go through with finally leaving (once again)... I have applied for the housing in my county... i have to start over completely from scratch again... I have to stop relying on these men.. but its so hard alone as a single mom.... i WILL leave this time and not go back again... I know I would enjoy being on my own so much more with my daughter and dog... nobody to control me, cleanup after, cook for, do laundry for... I hate that it all has to come to this but it's better for the both of us... I would type more but we would both be here forever... here's to hopefully, finally getting courage to do it all on my own.

So I just got Catfished and blackmailed for nudes. I feel so stupid, I've been taught not to fall for scams like this but I did anyway and I feel awful.
I got contacted on Instagram by a legit looking account. Things moved from there to Snapchat and before I knew it I was exchanging sexual images and videos with a complete stranger I knew I couldn't trust but took the chance anyway.
Well they demand £1.5k in return for "not ruining my life" and of course I said I don't have that kind of money. They said they'll send it to my followers on Instagram, I blocked them on every platform but I don't know if I did the right thing.
Part of me doesn't really care if people see my nude images because I'm pretty confident and I fell for a scam many other people do. Part of me also thinks a scammer like that wouldn't bother wasting their time following their promise to ruin my life when they can move on to the next victim.
I know I'm stupid but does anyone have any advice?

I'm not married , we may as well be , he bought the house and car , cash. No ring involved.. but to buy a house and car and put it in someone elses name is a big step.... But anyways, its all in my name... well we are separating.... I will be moving out and giving him what's all his.... I will be taking my daughter and starting from scratch... its been absolutely horrible since we have bought a house together... things are physically, emotionally, mentally abusive, draining, and just down right nasty.... so I have decided to do what I've been told to do and move back to my moms at 24 and start over with nothing once again after leaving my childs dasher who was a horrible abusive drunk..... I just found out about an hour ago my boyfriend whom I bought a housewith has been video sex-ing strangers online.... I just need some encouragement to actually go through with finally leaving (once again)... I have applied for the housing in my county... i have to start over completely from scratch again... I have to stop relying on these men.. but its so hard alone as a single mom.... i WILL leave this time and not go back again... I know I would enjoy being on my own so much more with my daughter and dog... nobody to control me, cleanup after, cook for, do laundry for... I hate that it all has to come to this but it's better for the both of us... I wish I could type more but you would be reading forever.

Hey everyone.
So I was looking for someplace where I could talk to a bunch of strangers about this and whether I was stalked or not, and if I am blowing this out of proportion. Buckle up, it's kinda long.
So in August 2018 I met this guy in college, and he was pretty nice and we struck up a friendship - walk me to my dorm, study dates, hang out for hours, the type. This was early on but one day I was going in a different direction and he asked if I wasn't going to my class (it is offered in a different building each semester) in the building it was being held. I'd never told him what section I'm in, just mention offhand once that I have a calc class after our class together (there's like six calc classes offered at the school).
Three weeks in, he asked me to a hockey game and I said no. The day later (Saturday), he asked me to coffee and after a bunch of personal questions he asked me if I liked him romantically. Wanting to be honest I said yeah. He said he had a girlfriend and so I decided to be respectful and back off. Asked him about her, and he kinda waffled and didn't tell me anything other than that she had the same major as me and was in the same year as the two of us and had changed majors from econ (I too had changed majors, from engineering).
Following Monday I leave early from our shared class and try to avoid him (I was feeling kinda shitty). He runs down two flights of stairs to catch up with me and ask if we're good and if I am mad at him. I tell him I'm not, just need space. Wednesday that week, I leave early (feeling ill), he blows up my notifications in just two hours.
He starts being nice again, complimenting me and whatnot. Goes on for a month or two. Then my birthday rolls around (didn't tell him) - he wishes me first thing in the morning, then asks if I'm free (I planned to be studying that day for one of our classes). I tell him I have some time in the evening. He shows up, takes me to dinner, refuses to let me pay on my birthday, plays a song for me (kinda romantic) and asks if I like it. I say it was a nice song and leave it at that. He leaves in an hour or so cause he's late for work. He's a photographer and I was planning on joining the place where he worked (I eventually did but after he left, and had a great time working there). He tells me he'd love to photograph me for them.
Weeks go on like this and we leave for winter break. He doesn't speak to me at all. Then I return and he introduces me to his friends and tells them "how we met". He fixes his winter semester schedule to have as many common classes as we can have. He kept tabs of all my classes that semester, when I had exams for those classes, when I had assignments due. He spends hours upon hours at my dorm hanging out with me, only wants to be with me alone in shared building spaces, doesn't like that my friends come and stop by to talk to me in the dorm.
We're a pretty small dorm so everybody sorta knows everybody. And eventually, everybody in my dorm thinks he's my boyfriend to the point that they somehow let him in without him swiping his ID (we have restricted access to buildings here). He is never 5 minutes away from my dorm despite living a twenty minute walk away (but like I also lived across the library so fair). One of my friends asked if I was sure I wasn't being stalked and well, I had rose coloured glasses on so I said no, he's just being nice.
All this time, he supposedly has a girlfriend who is in my department in my year. Our department has 7 girls that year. Three are gay. Two have a boyfriend, one is me. And the last one isn't his girlfriend. I ask him about her eventually because I'm tired of going nuts with not knowing and he says they broke up months ago, because of me. Still doesn't tell me who she is, literally nothing about her, and I'm a fucking idiot who thinks she has a chance now so I don't probe. He still doesn't ask me out. All this time he's always next to me in class, whenever we're walking anywhere, always walks me back to my dorm. He tells me he's applying to the same internships I am and that he wants to show me around his hometown, and that he wants my opinion on how to remodel his fucking room back home. One of my friends shares a class with a roommate of his, and they think I'm his girlfriend.
He comes to visit me in the middle of polar vortex. He shows up to see me right after an exhausting ski trip, sits way too close to me all the time, keeps trying to reduce space whenever we are anywhere without making a move. And then when the academic year ends, ghosts me.
In the months since, he didn't speak to me till November of 2019, when I was on sabbatical from school. He asks where I am because he hasn't seen me anywhere on campus. I tell him I'm not there and soon block him for my own peace of mind and to move on. Since then, he checks my instagram once a month or two months.
August 2020, he meets a new person. May 2021, they get engaged. June 2022, they get married. All this time he has been checking in on me via my social media but has never once tried to talk to me. All this time, I've often gotten blank calls from different numbers from his area code and have stopped picking them up for the past two years. He still keeps checking up on my social media but has never, ever tried to talk to me since November 2019.
Am I blowing this out of proportion, or is something wrong here?
EDIT: added some missing details.

I’m looking for someone who enjoys reading before bed and wouldn’t mind doing so out loud over the phone to me. I struggle with insomnia, but I’ve found that being read to makes me feel comforted and quite sleepy. What comforts me is the sound of your voice and the rhythmic speech pattern, so it doesn’t matter much to me what you read. I’d like you to choose something you enjoy so you aren’t bored to death :)
I get into bed between 10:30-11pm Central, so I’d prefer the call to start around then. I’m open to being read to once or making it a somewhat regular thing. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if reading to a stranger sounds like it might interest you. Thank you!

so, im attempting to get through all these bullshit marvel shows. and i feel like ive watched more credits and intro/outro than actual show. less a complaint and more an observation.
this isnt TV. its not on before the show starts so we know what we are watching. but there is also "since you last watched" at the beginning of almost every episode, annnnnnnnnnnnd an outro to most of them. the giant credits i get, its fine.
just some rough math, there is 20 minutes of actual episode per 35 minutes of watch time. so in the time it takes to relax and watch 2 episodes, you could literally watch a third episode.
i just wish they would advertise these things as a mini series more bluntly. ive neglected watching she hulk literally because "i dont want to sit through an entire season of 45 minute long episodes" thinking like stranger things.
some shows in this "same format" will have 3 minutes of filler BS and actually have 42 minutes of content to watch. hell, if somebody told me i could get through ALL of she hulk in under 2 hours i woulda watched it on release.

My housemate has changed since moving from a sub-leasee to a lease in our rental. What should I do?
Need some advice please on a situation with my housemate.
I have been at this rental for 4 years. Had a housemate move out and found a nice guy to move in (he's in his 20s is polite and friendly). This was a year ago. When he moved in he said he was single. He would be out 9/10 nights (usually getting home at 9-10pm), and had a "friend" occasionally come over to help him move (it was a girl).
When another housemate left in September last year I offered him the chance to go from a sub-leasee to being on the lease, which he said he wanted. Almost to the day of signing the lease (and paying the bond) his girlfriend has come over every day and stays the night. She even waits outside for him to get home from work and is even over on days he has off of work. Basically, whenever he is home she is at the house.
It is pretty obvious that in the early days (when I thought he was single) he was out every night because he was at her place, but couldn't stay for whatever reason so as soon as he signed onto the lease she comes over every day.
None of this was discussed with me prior, or since. I don't expect to have been given approval but a little communication would have been good. She avoids me whenever she's in the house (always going to the bathroom whenever I am in my room), which she does as well with our 3rd housemate. I can count on one hand the amount of words she has spoken to me over the 6 months she has been coming over (every night). It feels like there is a stranger constantly in the house, to be honest.
As far as I know she doesn't use the shower, but I'm not totally sure as they are both sneaky around the house, for example she always leaves in the morning when I am in the shower and as previously described she generally avoids me and the 3rd housemate, so I can't be certain of what she does.
My main concern is his lack on cleaning and just general care for the house. He has never really contributed to the house in terms of cleaning, but when he was never really home I didn't care as I and the 3rd housemate would clean and deal with the other issues.
However, ever since he signed onto the lease and is home now most nights because he has his GF come over every day, this has made me notice his lack of care more. In my view he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
My concern is that because she's around he isn't paying enough attention to the tasks that need to be done. In my country rental houses get inspected by the property manager, on behalf of the landlord, every 3 months. At the previous inspection some weeks back, his bathroom (that he shares with the 3rd housemate) was identified as not being clean enough. I trusted him to clean it and when I saw that note left by the property manager I looked myself and the only cleaning that he had done was to wipe down the basin - the shower was filthy, the bathtub had dust and hair in it, the drains were mouldy, there was cobwebs in the corner, and the floor was dirty. I have told him that he needs to clean more, which he said he'd do, but I've seen not sign of it. This last Saturday he had the day off work and was in his room all day with his GF, meanwhile I mowed the lawn, did the edges, and vacuum and moped the floors, he didn't do a thing (he can't say he is too busy).
He also doesn't contribute to any other aspect of the house - he doesn't bother about the general upkeep of the house, he doesn't change the bin, or take the bins out, etc.
I'm just seeking advice on what I can do (if anything)?
He obviously has changed since signing the lease so I think he thinks he's untouchable.
The rental is very cheap for the type of house it is and the landlords are easy going. I feel if he doesn't pull his head in with the cleaning we'll get kicked out.
TDLR: my housemate's girlfriend stays over each night and he doesn't contribute towards the house, but because he's on the lease I think he thinks he can do anything. Looking for advice.

I am 23. I live on my own in a decent apartment, no roommates or anything like that. Rent is expensive, as I live in a very expensive area, but my job pays pretty decently. Have absolutely no savings though.
But here's the thing: I don't feel happy. Or satisfied. Or content. Nothing like that at all. All I feel is stress and pressure and emptiness, and I have reached my limit.
To start with, nothing feels like it has a purpose anymore. I go to work, spend "only" 1/3 of my day there (not including my lunch break, not including commute, not including getting ready for work) and when I get home, I'm out of energy. I am useless for the rest of the day. I would consider myself a creative person. I like to make things. I like to write and/or make games in my spare time, but I have no energy for it now. And even when I do, it feels empty. Hollow. I feel nothing from it, except that I'm wasting my time.
And that's how I feel in general - like I'm wasting my time. I come home from work, and I don't feel like I've earned a restful evening, I feel like I traded my life and soul away for more numbers on a piece of paper at the end of a biweekly period. I don't feel like I've done anything valuable. If I spend my weekend working on a game, or a story, or with my friends, or with my family, or cleaning, or playing video games, or cooking, or vegging out and watching YouTube all day, I feel like it was all a waste of my time. I feel this constant stress, this pressure, to be doing something more productive, but no matter how I spend my time (yes, even exercising) I don't feel like I've done anything but throw my time into a garbage can.
And I am so tired of this feeling. I feel so disconnected from everything. Why is the only value in a job to put more numbers on a screen? Why can't I do something I enjoy and make a living off of it?
"Go to college" or "find a different job" or "learn to code" or "learn a trade" are the least helpful pieces of advice I've received more than almost anything else. I don't have money or time for college. I already dropped out years ago and I haven't even begun paying back what I owe on the time I wasted there. I've been looking for a different job for over a year, and the reason I haven't even really applied for any is because I just don't see the point. It's just going to be trading my valuable time for arbitrary numbers on a screen no matter where I go, so what's the point in finding something different? I'll be miserable at just about any job I go to, because at the end of the day, I'm going to come home and feel like a worthless sack of garbage waiting for my turn to die and hoping it's sooner than I think. I've tried learning to code, and you might think that, because I enjoy making games, I'd have some sort of affinity for it... you'd be wrong. I have buckled down and committed to a number of languages for a range of times, from a couple of weeks to a month each, from Python to C# to JavaScript, and I just can't wrap my head around any of it. It doesn't make any amount of sense to me. I understand the basics, but I have no idea how to make sense of every tiny quirk, how to memorize every function and every term and all of that. The only reason I can make any games (and they are all terrible and horribly basic) is because I am using a game engine that I learned to use when I was pretty young, and it has a proprietary language so my knowledge of it is entirely useless. Trades are just more jobs that will still make me feel worthless.
I've been told my whole life, from teachers to friends to strangers on the internet, that I have an affinity for writing. And I love writing, I really do. But the problem is that writing is a very saturated market. It's hard to get any foothold anywhere because everyone is also good at writing and there's no way to make yours stand out. Because of this, I stopped doing it regularly and now I'm out of practice. I've been trying to get back into it, but I struggle to find a point in it either. I'm not going to bother sharing it with anyone, because why would I? If I post it on any website, it's not going to be seen under the tide of thousands upon thousands of other pieces of writing. I'm not in school anymore so no teachers will find it, the only friends I have now will just say "it's good" because that's what they say about everything, and my family is extremely biased so they're not going to give very helpful feedback either. Especially with AI bots learning to write prose now, there's truly no point when we've got robots that can write every story never told. I have nothing to say that hasn't been or won't be said anymore. So I get excited about a new idea I have, I work furiously on it for a day or weekend or 3 hours, and then I look at what I've got, and realized that I just wasted my time.
I feel so trapped. I feel like I have nowhere to go. I had never had a mental breakdown until this past year. I've been depressed for a long time, but I never felt suicidal until this past year as well. I don't have any romantic interests because I never talk to anyone, and I don't really want a relationship or kids or anything like that anyways, because every relationship I've ever had ended up with me being emotionally and verbally abused, and in the most recent one I was even cheated on. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I don't know why I get up in the mornings anymore. I don't know how much longer I can keep going, but each day, another year sounds like a more and more impossible amount of time to keep this up for. I feel like I'm on the verge of completely snapping. Like my brain is just going to crack and end up in a psych ward somewhere, with no knowledge of how I got there.
No, I can't afford therapy. Last I did that, I ended up in credit card debt and that has only made my life harder. It's nothing more than another waste of my time as well as money.

I actually do believe in a creative power (God and/or Gods) and a creation of all things. I just had someone call me a liar about that. So many accusations, so little time. Why would I lie about that? I mean, sure I get angry and frustrated about religion. I also get very happy about spirituality. But I know I don't know it all. Sometimes people leave you alone if you just tell them that. Because then that means I'm not just some careless bozo on the internet. I really have to remind other that I know I don't know everything. As if for some reason I'm supposed to be a selfish twit in order to serve the unrealistic torture fantasies of strangers.

New city, new country, new language…I moved across the globe to be with my spouse. I don’t regret that decision.
But while they have friends, family and a community behind them, I have no one. I chat with kind strangers online sometimes, but everyone has their own lives (as they should), are in a completely different time zone and I don’t always feel like explaining how much the changes in my spouse have affected me and why.
Language barrier is one of the things that I’m finding hard to break. The same as the fact that I’m an introvert so I don’t like to put myself out there. And I feel like this isolates me even further. I want to try an app or something but to find friends locally, no hookups and I’m not sure how to go about it. I just want to meet people for coffee, walks and maybe if it’s ok build a support system of my own.
I’m finding it hard to get out of bed and stop SH. I feel like I don’t matter…I have BPD, OCD, eating disorders, depression and anxiety and I’m struggling real hard.
I’m just trying to stay afloat. At least my doggie is keeping me here.

Hey, so this is my first post here! Just wanted to share something I was proud of today. I'm a very introverted person who mainly keeps to myself on my days off. I don't really have a friend group in the city I live in, and there is not a ton of social groups out doing things yet because it's still a little cold here.
Today, a woman posted for help on our neighborhood Facebook group because a pigeon had gotten into a room in her apartment, and she was afraid of trying to handle it. She was uncomfortable enough that she was asking strangers to come into her apartment she lived in by herself to get this bird out. I happend to be on Facebook when she submitted the post, and was able to reply right away.
I rode my scooter over, met her up at a corner intersection, we walked together to her address. Once inside, she directed me to the room that the pigeon was in, and I went inside with my bed sheet, and calmly swaddled the pigeon up, then immediately exited the apartment to let it free outside. The woman thanked me a ton on my way out, and then praised me heavily on the Facebook page for being so quick, polite, and helpful.
It was really nice for once being a woman being able to help a fellow neighbor out like that! No doing some extensive sussing out where I have to figure out if this is a trap or safe for me to even enter. There was no expectation I needed to get something in return. Just genuinely taking time out of my day to go help a fellow woman. It felt great!

So hear me out...what if Suzie (Dustin's girlfriend) grows up to be Miss Lippy from "Billy Madison"?
In Stranger Things Season 4, Suzie is about 14-15 years old and it's 1988. So she would be 21-22 in 1995 when Billy Madison goes back to school. Thats all I know is Suzie is giving of major Miss Lippy style vibes in Season 4.

I'm not really sure how to get started or what my motivation is for this post so be aware that it might be just a little long or ramble at times. I just don't feel like I'm in a position to talk about this with friends or family so somehow putting this out for strangers might make me feel better or might even help.
I (29M) met my wife (27F) about 9 years ago and have been married for about 7. She had just turned 18 and I was a dumb 20 year old. She had just gotten out of a relationship and I was trying to maximize my college experience... We met and maintained a friendship type relationship for a few months until she decided she had interest in me and could see us in a bf/gf type relationship. I didn't "friendzone" her but I after being friends for a while (she even had another bf shortly) I didn't see her as a possible partner but decided to give it a shot.
Our first few months together were spent doing long distance while I was away for college. It was very passionate and very intimate. We were both the same religion so it was common for in our religion to get married young which is what we did. The first two years were very very hard for us and we almost divorced as a result but we stuck through it. We weren't trying for a baby but my wife miscarried 3 times in the early days. The first part of our marriage, while rough was like our relationship before we got married, passionate and intimate.
We got to the point where our relationship stabilized and we learned to work through our issues. We started growing up together. Everything was perfect until covid. Both of us were home all the time and we both gained weight. We stopped having sex often for a variety of issues like the weight gain and self image issues. My wife lost interest altogether and when I tried initiating anything I was always shut down. She got a new job and was always stressed out and tired from it which I understand but I think this might've been where things started going downhill.
It wasn't all at once, it was one thing followed by another. With Covid, it was really easy to make excuses to not do anything and stay in. We stopped having date nights, and all our nights consisted of watching TV together the whole evening. We still kept a healthy relationship and communicated with each other but slowly there was just less and less of a connection. When covid had "normalized" a bit and things were open, I really pushed to get our life back to normal but my wife wasn't really interested. She was always too tired or another excuse to go back to "normal."
I've adjusted to our new type of life but I've expressed to my wife, I want to do more with our days than just working then going to the couch the rest of the night and repeat. I've gotten a bit depressed and we lost most of our friends, not because of arguments or disagreements but because we were always the couple that didn't show up to things.
We go months without being intimate, live like roommates, and just don't have much going on in our lives. Recently my wife decided she was ready to have kids which was always something we wanted but decided to wait because we wanted it to be the "right time." We wanted the home, savings, careers to feel like we could give our kids a chance in life. I thought I was on board and I've always wanted my wife to be the mother of my children but there's been something holding me back. I just can't get myself to be intimate with her and I feel so pressured especially when we haven't been intimate in years. For her, it's just about getting it over with to check it off the box and I just can't do it.
About the last 2 months I took a step back and realized that our relationship is something I don't recognize anymore. I still love my wife as much as I ever did and I know she loves me too but something is just not right. Instead of spending our days together, her day is planned around her naps. We're not talking about a short hour nap, they have to be at least 2 hours long and they're usually around 4. Her excuse is ALWAYS that she's tired from work which I understand. But since Covid I've gone back to school to get a new degree as I've stumbled onto a new opportunity that requires more education. So I'm working full time and going to school full time yet I still try to make time for her and put in some effort.
I can't bring up my concerns to her because she always gets mad and starts making excuses and blames things on her work. I've tried talking to her asking her to quit her job if she truly thinks that's what causing all these problems and others for her but she claims to be comfortable and likes her coworkers. I try to be fair because I know I have my part in it too but she always takes it personal when I try expressing my feelings to her. I try to do my absolute best to satisfy her needs but there's only so much I can do when I work until 5 every day, go to school until 8 most days and will usually do homework and study until 1 am most nights. Since I'm so busy, we've fallen into more "traditional" roles where she's in charge of dinner most nights and is mostly in charge of keeping our home tidy. Even then, we both still clean the house almost 50/50 and I offer to cook but claims to always have an upset stomach when I cook and will end up making something for herself anyway. I've been frustrated by this because she won't even try to taste what I cook even if she's the one who wanted that specific meal.
The other part that's been really killing me is that she's met a new friend group. She makes plans with them often and actually goes out with them and does things with them. She even went on a trip to NY with them recently and did so much planning and went out every night with them. My wife normally "goes" to bed at 8 which is usually just her excuse to stop being around me since this is fairly new. But with her friends she's out late every night. I love that she has friends that she likes and is close to other people and if anything I've been the one to encourage her to go out and make friends. What has really hurt me though is how much effort and energy she gives them. I hardly recognize my wife when she's with them and reminds me of when we first met.
I've brought up to my wife that it hurts me how much effort she gives these people but is always too "tired" to try in our relationship. Any plans we do make, aren't prioritized because she's cancelled our plans last minute because she "forgot" our plans even if they've been set for weeks. We got into a big fight a few nights ago because she had her friends over which again I totally support and am very happy for her. It was a night where I didn't have class and finished my homework early so I told her I was going to go to bed early for once (11 pm!). I mentioned this to her several times and also told her I had a meeting early in the morning so I had to be up earlier to work. I made sure to ask her to have her friends leave soon because they hadn't planned to hang out that night and so that I could get some sleep in and she agreed. The way our house is set up, you can hear almost everything no matter where you are and her friends and not the quietest bunch. Well by the time I went to bed they were still there. I let my wife know I was headed to bed and asked when her friends were leaving and she just said she didn't know but they'd try to be done soon. Well they're loud so I couldn't fall asleep and 3 hours later (I texted my wife a few times in between asking when they'd be done, reminding her I had to be to work earlier, etc.) I just snapped a bit and texted my wife I was going to a hotel for the night. Apparently this did the trick because her friends left less than 2 min before and I didn't have time to pack a bag. We argued and told her this is what I meant when I told her that she prioritized other people over our relationship. She said she just forgot and didn't think too hard about it which pissed me off even more because I texted her a hand full of times. We slept on sperate beds and "made up" the next day but have still been pretty tense since then.
I could ramble on and on about other examples but this is a short summary. I haven't cheated and I'm 99% sure she hasn't cheated either. I like most of her friends and there's a few I have a pretty good relationship with so I think I would have heard something from them. At this point I don't know what to do. I've suggested counseling but nothing has changed and she hasn't shown interest in going. She'll talk about us to other people but will talk as if everything is still perfect. I love my wife so much but I feel like our relationship has completely stopped moving forward. I'm at the point where I'm considering divorce and leaving her with everything and I'll just move far away to some island and live by myself for the rest of my life. Guys I don't know what to do or what to say. Nothing I've tried has worked and has caused a fight that leaves us in the same spot a day later. The only time I've noticed she puts in any effort is after a fight which like I just said only lasts a day. I wanted to have children with her but I don't think that's a good idea anymore. I need help. I don't know what to do. She's my best friend and our lives are so integrated and I just feel stuck.
I'm posting this on a few threads so that I can read responses to see if anything good comes up. If you've made it this far, thank you for listening. It matters to me.
​
TLDMy marriage has slowly crumbled and I don't know what to do next. I just need help.

I'm not really sure how to get started or what my motivation is for this post so be aware that it might be just a little long or ramble at times. I just don't feel like I'm in a position to talk about this with friends or family so somehow putting this out for strangers might make me feel better or might even help.
I (29M) met my wife (27F) about 9 years ago and have been married for about 7. She had just turned 18 and I was a dumb 20 year old. She had just gotten out of a relationship and I was trying to maximize my college experience... We met and maintained a friendship type relationship for a few months until she decided she had interest in me and could see us in a bf/gf type relationship. I didn't "friendzone" her but I after being friends for a while (she even had another bf shortly) I didn't see her as a possible partner but decided to give it a shot.
Our first few months together were spent doing long distance while I was away for college. It was very passionate and very intimate. We were both the same religion so it was common for in our religion to get married young which is what we did. The first two years were very very hard for us and we almost divorced as a result but we stuck through it. We weren't trying for a baby but my wife miscarried 3 times in the early days. The first part of our marriage, while rough was like our relationship before we got married, passionate and intimate.
We got to the point where our relationship stabilized and we learned to work through our issues. We started growing up together. Everything was perfect until covid. Both of us were home all the time and we both gained weight. We stopped having sex often for a variety of issues like the weight gain and self image issues. My wife lost interest altogether and when I tried initiating anything I was always shut down. She got a new job and was always stressed out and tired from it which I understand but I think this might've been where things started going downhill.
It wasn't all at once, it was one thing followed by another. With Covid, it was really easy to make excuses to not do anything and stay in. We stopped having date nights, and all our nights consisted of watching TV together the whole evening. We still kept a healthy relationship and communicated with each other but slowly there was just less and less of a connection. When covid had "normalized" a bit and things were open, I really pushed to get our life back to normal but my wife wasn't really interested. She was always too tired or another excuse to go back to "normal."
I've adjusted to our new type of life but I've expressed to my wife, I want to do more with our days than just working then going to the couch the rest of the night and repeat. I've gotten a bit depressed and we lost most of our friends, not because of arguments or disagreements but because we were always the couple that didn't show up to things.
We go months without being intimate, live like roommates, and just don't have much going on in our lives. Recently my wife decided she was ready to have kids which was always something we wanted but decided to wait because we wanted it to be the "right time." We wanted the home, savings, careers to feel like we could give our kids a chance in life. I thought I was on board and I've always wanted my wife to be the mother of my children but there's been something holding me back. I just can't get myself to be intimate with her and I feel so pressured especially when we haven't been intimate in years. For her, it's just about getting it over with to check it off the box and I just can't do it.
About the last 2 months I took a step back and realized that our relationship is something I don't recognize anymore. I still love my wife as much as I ever did and I know she loves me too but something is just not right. Instead of spending our days together, her day is planned around her naps. We're not talking about a short hour nap, they have to be at least 2 hours long and they're usually around 4. Her excuse is ALWAYS that she's tired from work which I understand. But since Covid I've gone back to school to get a new degree as I've stumbled onto a new opportunity that requires more education. So I'm working full time and going to school full time yet I still try to make time for her and put in some effort.
I can't bring up my concerns to her because she always gets mad and starts making excuses and blames things on her work. I've tried talking to her asking her to quit her job if she truly thinks that's what causing all these problems and others for her but she claims to be comfortable and likes her coworkers. I try to be fair because I know I have my part in it too but she always takes it personal when I try expressing my feelings to her. I try to do my absolute best to satisfy her needs but there's only so much I can do when I work until 5 every day, go to school until 8 most days and will usually do homework and study until 1 am most nights. Since I'm so busy, we've fallen into more "traditional" roles where she's in charge of dinner most nights and is mostly in charge of keeping our home tidy. Even then, we both still clean the house almost 50/50 and I offer to cook but claims to always have an upset stomach when I cook and will end up making something for herself anyway. I've been frustrated by this because she won't even try to taste what I cook even if she's the one who wanted that specific meal.
The other part that's been really killing me is that she's met a new friend group. She makes plans with them often and actually goes out with them and does things with them. She even went on a trip to NY with them recently and did so much planning and went out every night with them. My wife normally "goes" to bed at 8 which is usually just her excuse to stop being around me since this is fairly new. But with her friends she's out late every night. I love that she has friends that she likes and is close to other people and if anything I've been the one to encourage her to go out and make friends. What has really hurt me though is how much effort and energy she gives them. I hardly recognize my wife when she's with them and reminds me of when we first met.
I've brought up to my wife that it hurts me how much effort she gives these people but is always too "tired" to try in our relationship. Any plans we do make, aren't prioritized because she's cancelled our plans last minute because she "forgot" our plans even if they've been set for weeks. We got into a big fight a few nights ago because she had her friends over which again I totally support and am very happy for her. It was a night where I didn't have class and finished my homework early so I told her I was going to go to bed early for once (11 pm!). I mentioned this to her several times and also told her I had a meeting early in the morning so I had to be up earlier to work. I made sure to ask her to have her friends leave soon because they hadn't planned to hang out that night and so that I could get some sleep in and she agreed. The way our house is set up, you can hear almost everything no matter where you are and her friends and not the quietest bunch. Well by the time I went to bed they were still there. I let my wife know I was headed to bed and asked when her friends were leaving and she just said she didn't know but they'd try to be done soon. Well they're loud so I couldn't fall asleep and 3 hours later (I texted my wife a few times in between asking when they'd be done, reminding her I had to be to work earlier, etc.) I just snapped a bit and texted my wife I was going to a hotel for the night. Apparently this did the trick because her friends left less than 2 min before and I didn't have time to pack a bag. We argued and told her this is what I meant when I told her that she prioritized other people over our relationship. She said she just forgot and didn't think too hard about it which pissed me off even more because I texted her a hand full of times. We slept on sperate beds and "made up" the next day but have still been pretty tense since then.
I could ramble on and on about other examples but this is a short summary. I haven't cheated and I'm 99% sure she hasn't cheated either. I like most of her friends and there's a few I have a pretty good relationship with so I think I would have heard something from them. At this point I don't know what to do. I've suggested counseling but nothing has changed and she hasn't shown interest in going. She'll talk about us to other people but will talk as if everything is still perfect. I love my wife so much but I feel like our relationship has completely stopped moving forward. I'm at the point where I'm considering divorce and leaving her with everything and I'll just move far away to some island and live by myself for the rest of my life. Guys I don't know what to do or what to say. Nothing I've tried has worked and has caused a fight that leaves us in the same spot a day later. The only time I've noticed she puts in any effort is after a fight which like I just said only lasts a day. I wanted to have children with her but I don't think that's a good idea anymore. I need help. I don't know what to do. She's my best friend and our lives are so integrated and I just feel stuck.
I'm posting this on a few threads so that I can read responses to see if anything good comes up. If you've made it this far, thank you for listening. It matters to me.
​
TLDMy marriage has slowly crumbled and I don't know what to do next. I just need help.

It’s come to my attention recently that I’m not a good person. I think I’m polite and a seemingly ‘nice’ person - someone who e.g. will try and include the person not talking much into the conversation, who will go out of their way to make their friend’s or a stranger’s day better, who will always show good manners, be respectful and never be rude to someone even if I dislike them.
But morally speaking, I’m a blank. In fact my moral philosophy is ‘if I can get away with it, I’ll do it’. Of course there are limits to this, and I’ll only take this as far as my desires actually go - e.g. I’d never like physically harm someone even if there were no consequences to it cuz that’s not something I want to do. But when it comes to sleeping around, I’m terrible.
I’ve posted about this before and people have said I’m full of shit and just trying to get attention on the internet, but this is an anonymous Reddit account I really don’t care what people think of me, so believe this or don’t if you don’t want to. But these past 6 months or so, I’ve been sleeping with around 5 girls in total each behind the other one’s back. Every girl thinks I’m just seeing them and no one else. It’s important to note that I’m not in a relationship with any of these girls, but from conversations I’ve had and, you know, them being human beings, I know they wouldn’t want me seeing other people behind their back.
But for some reason I just can’t empathise with them and see my actions as morally wrong. As of today I have actually stopped sleeping with all of them except 1, but this was mainly just because I feared the consequences of getting caught sleeping with someone else behind her back, not because I actually see my actions as wrong and because I properly respect her.
I guess what I’m asking really is how do I become more empathetic? I feel if something is part of my moral compass, e.g. a wish to never physically harm anyone, then I am very good at sticking to it. But I think my moral compass is just too small, and there are things like what I’ve mentioned where even though many people see it as wrong, I don’t see the problem with it, which in turns leads me to hurt people. I want to stop this and become a better person, but I’m just finding it so hard when I don’t properly understand why my actions are wrong. Has anyone got any advice how I can change?

Hoping for any insight from other parents…
My daughter has been at the same daycare since she was 6 months old. She’s always loved school. She has a group of friends that, once she learned to speak, talked nonstop about.
She’s also always been more on the shy side until she warms up to people. The only person who can babysit her is her Grammy, for instance. She would be uncomfortable with anyone else.
Starting about a month or two ago, she started talking about wanting alone time at school. Okay, fine, she loves reading books and so wants to do that sometime. But over the past two weeks, her teachers are telling us she is crying all morning. Refuses to participate in activities. Doesn’t want to play with her friends.
At home, she is happy, chatty, silly. Has normal three year old tantrums as she tries to exert independence.
She is extremely attached to me. And tells me and her dad (my husband) that she cries all day because she misses us and wants to be with mommy and daddy. We sent in pictures of us for her to look at when she gets sad. That has helped but now she just wants to stay in her cubby where the pictures are. I gave her a bracelet that matches one I have but that didn’t help.
She’s a kid who struggles with transitions, too. And has a hard time if something deviates from what she expects. For instance, today she didn’t want to sit with her friends at the table because it was the yellow rectangle table and she wanted to sit at the blue square table.
I’d like to think this is all normal, maybe a personality thing. But her teacher wants a psychologist to observe her, so now I’m just a bit concerned. I have no problem with someone observing her; I’ll do whatever I need to do to support my kid and I want to work with her daycare to create a plan.
But something also feels off to me about the situation. Is this just bad separation anxiety? Did something happen at school that makes her scared? I also have ADHD and I’m wondering if she is experiencing some of that early anxiety of ADHD??
She is a bright, loving, silly kid at home. What is happening to her at school?! Would love to talk this through with Internet strangers, who may be able to provide insight I don’t have. TIA.