When will four winds buffet open

Thunderbird 102.9.0.
Ctrl+K finds an correct set of messages for my search string, but when I use the "Show results as a list" button, it will display only a subset of those messages, if any. If I try to access the messages that go missing in the list view, the message won't open: I'll get an empty list view instead.
HAE had this? Any suggestion for a fix?

Hi reddit!
I have here a sample data:
https://preview.redd.it/t1lcf3apekqa1.png?width=243&format=png&auto=webp&s=93d430f9bcc63d46a06200cd5248956aa2e4cac9
What i need is to extract the unique data from column A and provide a status base on column C:
and the end data is this:
​
https://preview.redd.it/8p12pm5ifkqa1.png?width=231&format=png&auto=webp&s=785c19e0ff0daac73ce40c0ea681e81a00af7e43
so basically, when all the PNs under a collector is completed, its final status is complete.
and if the PNs under a collector is incomplete, whether on going or open, it will provide an "On-going" status.
Hope you could help me thank you!

I've been using an EGO 21" push mower for the past ~5 years on my lot, which has about a half-acre of very thick grass. We get insane growth in the spring, up to 8" a week, and it's often a bit damp when mowing. I love how light and quiet the EGO is but have had serious issues with power and the batteries. It just isn't strong enough to cut through the thick stuff or keep up with the growth unless I mow a couple/few times a week, and I don't want to spend that much time mowing. Worse, the batteries are trash after five years and no longer hold a charge for more than ~15 minutes, meaning the process takes hours to mow, stop, wait for the batteries to recharge, and continue mowing. I'm looking for recommendations for a replacement. I'm not sure I want to stick with EGO if that means investing ~$600 in replacement batteries every 5 years.
The yard is level fairly but with uneven ground. The whole thing is fenced, and I have a gate with a 42" clearance. There are a few trees and mulched beds to mow around but otherwise it's open. I don't care about striping or anything fancy-- just need to keep the grass under control.
Currently looking at a few options:

1. 30" Toro Timemaster. Benefits would be smaller footprint/lighter weight for handling and storage and potentially easier maintenance. Not sure how easy it is to reverse if needed, and reviews seem hit-or-miss. I don't necessarily mind the exercise but really want to cut down on the amount of time I have to spend mowing.
2. 34" Hustler Dash XD. This is a zero-turn and seems very fun. Benefits would be maneuverability and time savings, and laziness. But they're much more expensive, bigger, and maybe difficult to maintain?
3. Used Snapper RER. There aren't many of these out there on the used market in my region, but they do show up from time to time. Cost seems to vary--there are some 28" models from the 20teeens listed for $700-$800 and a 25-year old 33" listed on Marketplace for $850, which seems expensive given the age. Benefits would be smaller size for storage and handling, lower cost, and more straightforward maintenance. Downsides would be difficulty in finding one for a reasonable price that's been looked after.

Opinions on these three options? Anything else out there that I should consider? Would a smaller lawn tractor be worth looking into?
TLDR: looking for mower recommendations for a half-acre lawn. Grass is thick and grows rapidly. Limited by a 42" gate and smaller storage space. Ideally want something durable that will be easy to maneuver, store, and maintain.

I likely missed a few, since I haven’t seen every Brock episode (do bring up the ones I missed), but I can recall only four women who showed any form of affection toward Brock: Suzie, Temacu, Wilhomena, and Pike Queen Lucy.
Of the four…

• Temacu is likely out, since she’s just the female Brock who smothers every attractive guy.
  
• Suzie was trustful enough in Brock to let him care for Vulpix and stay in touch with him via email. She may also be the best overall character given her skills and wisdom, but when she decided to open a salon with Zane, that left Brock in the dust.
  
• Wilhomena expressed interest in meeting Brock again. I’ll have to rewatch the episode, since it’s one that I don’t remember much from.
  
• Lucy never said anything IIRC; she just blushed at Brock’s constant swooning, but it’s clear she’d fallen for his non-existent eyes.
  

Originally written for HFY.
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From the War Diaries of Xelik Am'Dussias, former Scientist of the Lukonian Empire, translated from Standard Basic into English by Dr. Geraldine Wilcox, PhD...
As I've written elsewhere, humans have quite brief lifespans compared to other races. Nevertheless, like other sentient beings, they ideate means to amuse themselves after a day of work and toil. Practically all humans pursue what they call "hobbies," activities unrelated to their daily labors, which they undertake to pass the time or otherwise distract themselves from the grind and monotony of everyday life.
The hobbies/pastimes humans engage in are as varied as their cultures, customs, gastronomies, languages, and so forth. Suffice it to say not all humans engage in similar recreational activities, all of which are as different as the ways they might regard their fellow beings or interact with the world around them.
Of special note is a human invention called "video-games." This media has accompanied humanity long before they discovered FTL travel, let alone became aware of the existence of "intelligent non-human beings," to paraphrase a paper I read a couple of cycles ago. You'll forgive me if I refrain from discussing videogames at length: while I possess a general understanding of how they work, the ability to explain them in a way experts and "laymen" alike would find satisfactory eludes me.
I vividly recall the first time I came across a videogame. It occurred during my first week as a prisoner of war on Terra. Much to our vexation, Anthony and I were made into what humans call "roommates": we shared a small living space and its attendant amenities. Things being the way they were, conflict and disagreements were quick to follow.
Anthony and I had just finished our work for the day. Having cleaned up our work stations, he and I shared a quick supper with our teammates, after which we took to our quarters.
I had just come out of the "shower" (a wondrous human invention, if I say so myself). Clad in one of those "bathrobes," I quit the room of rest, only to find Anthony seated before a rudimentary monitor called a "television," holding a strange device in both hands, snarling and cursing with hushed breaths at a series of images flashing before him as he pressed a series of buttons.
I tried to ignore it at first. I'd been around Anthony long enough to realize he had his "quirks," ones he couldn't do away with any more than I could do away with my stripes. Lying down on my bunk, I watched Anthony for a while before curiosity got the better of me and I spoke to him in Thelousian.
"{Human Anthony, might you answer some queries I have?}."
"{Sure, Xel. What do you wanna know?}."
"{I couldn't help but notice you've been... engaged with that mechanical device for well over two Terran hours. I also noticed such engagement has left you... vexed, for lack of a better term, yet you persist in it. Might I inquire as to why?}.
Grunting to himself, Anthony returned to his game. I was about to turn in the opposite direction when he next spoke.
"{I'm using what us Terrans refer to as a gaming console. Generally speaking, it's a piece of machinery made for playing videogames. This one is called Nintendo Entertainment System, or NES for short}."
"{I see. Are those "videogames" battle simulations?}."
"{No, not at all... not all of them, at least. Similar to works of literature, videogames come in different genres. For instance, the one I'm currently playing is a platformer and--} WHAT!? THAT'S BULLS*&T!."
I nearly fell off my bed when Anthony screamed like that. Having realized my fright and confusion, my roommate deactivated the console, removed an oddly shaped object he referred to as a "cartridge," then sat in front of me.
"{Sorry about that, man. Damn pattern always gives me trouble. Pisses me off to no end}."
"{Pattern?}."
"{Think of it as a series of challenges you (or more specifically, the avatar, the character you play as) have to overcome in order to progress. The game I was just playing has twenty-four or so different ones, each more difficult than the last}."
"{More difficult? Why would you subject yourself to such aggravation?}."
"{Because it's fun, Xelik. The harder and more frustrating a pattern is, the greater satisfaction you feel after you clear it. Why don't you give it a try? Who knows? You might even do better than me}."
I reluctantly did as Anthony asked. Having placed the cartridge, he proceeded to activate the console. Much to my puzzlement, a screen flashed before my eyes.
"{Castlevania?}."
"{The game's title. I'll tell you more about it later if you want. For now, press Start and begin your adventure}."
Again I complied. What I next beheld took my breath away: my "player character" was a minute "sprite" hued in a variant of what humans refer to as "yellow" and "orange" tonalities. Attending Anthony's instructions, I pressed a button on my "controller": my character jumped in the air. I tried another button: the character unfurled some sort of string, then resumed its normal stance.
"{That how you jump, that's how you attack with your whip. This stage will help you learn the ropes, so to speak}."
I stifled myself before I inquired what ropes had to do with anything. Other than to guide and advice me when he deemed it necessary, Anthony said nothing. I learned much on that day: how to use "subweapons," how to exploit enemy attack patterns, where to find "hidden items" and other such "Easter eggs." Human terminology is strange, indeed.
A couple of deaths later, I reached the end of the stage. No sooner the background music changed, this winged black creature flew down and attacked my character. In keeping with Anthony's instructions, my avatar uncovered a square-shaped utensil with a Roman numeral in it, wailed on the creature with the "Axe" I'd picked up earlier. It was a grueling battle... but I prevailed.
"{The Orb, Xelik! Grab the Orb!}."
The moment I did so, my character's vitality was replenished, my hearts turned into numbers, which were added to something called a "high score." I made to leave, only for Anthony to stop me.
"{Hey, where you goin', man? Game isn't over yet}."
Indeed it wasn't. I'd just moved on to the next pattern. All was going well (relatively speaking), till I emerged in a room laden with bottomless pits. My character made to jump the first one, only to be stricken by a floating object moving in an undulating pattern. The impact caused my avatar to fall to its death. I was somewhat irritated, to put it mildly.
"{What!? What in the name of Thelousia happened!?}.
"{Yeah, getting hit in this game can kill you if you aren't careful. That creature you just encountered, it's called a Medusa Head. Annoying little f*ckers... they're gonna be the bane of your existence}."
And so they were. It took me a good hour and a half to reach the Boss's room, where Medusa herself awaited. Fortunately, that "Holy Water" Anthony advised me to take made short work of that floating head. If nothing else, it was easier to dispatch than the Giant Bat.
Another pattern. I died some ten or twelve more times, mostly because those "Bone Towers" required six strikes or so to be destroyed. I was ready to quit that gods-forsaken contraption by the time the "Game Over" screen flashed before our eyes.
"{Wanna try again?}."
"{You must be joking!}."
"{I'll take that as a no. Mind if I take over from here?}."
"{Be my guest}."
Anthony made it to the second to last stage before tiredness and frustration got the better of him. Once he turned off the console and put away the cartridge, he turned to me in that weird lumbering way of his.
"{The game we just played is called Castlevania. It was released over five centuries ago, in the Terran year of 1986 CE}."
"{Five centuries!? How can such an ancient artifact feel so... so...}."
"{Modern?}." Anthony smiled. "{Helluva game, isn't it? Just as good now as it was back then}."
"{How do you determine if a game is good? Is it by difficulty?}."
"{Difficulty's one aspect among many others, Xel. A game can be easy or difficult for the right and wrong reasons...}."
"{What are those reasons?}."
"{There're several to consider. For instance, back in the nineteen-eighties games tended to be very short (limited memory space, after all) and very expensive, so it was in the creators' best interest to make the experience as engaging, time-consuming, and arduous as possible, properly reward effort, perseverance and all that. God, the hours I used to sink into them when I was a kid, made my Mom real mad: "Anthony, stop playing videogames and go outside"; "Anthony, make sure to do your homework before you plug that thing in," she'd say}."
"{It appears your mother wasn't fond of them}."
Anthony chuckled.
"{That's putting it mildly. One time I got a C-minus on a exam 'coz I didn't study enough (plus, it was English class; not exactly my best/favorite subject). Mom was so pissed, she said she'd smash "that damn thing" to smithereens if I brought home another grade like that. Needless to say, I took my studies helluva more seriously afterward}."
Anthony frowned. For a moment he looked like he was about to cry.
"{Anthony? Are you well?}."
"{I'm fine. It's just... I get sad when I look back on the good ol' days. Thing is, I didn't have many friends growing up. Being autistic, other kids would stay away from me, so I mostly kept to myself. It's a good thing Dad managed to repair that old console, or I would've had a very lonely, very boring childhood. Is there anything else you wanna know about?}."
We talked for hours on that night. Anthony invested so much time on such games. Suffice it so say he's the reason why I've come to appreciate videogames as a whole, and this at a time when they were mostly unknown to the galaxy at large.
The way my beloved would gush over the stories they could tell, the ways they engaged the mind, compelled players to hone their problem-solving skills! The soundtracks, the pixels, the cheat codes! The poorly executed dialogues, regional differences and the like! I must've heard Anthony say "Die, monster!" over a billion times, yet it never got old.
Anthony... I still have his console and cartridges. They don't work anymore, but I can't bear to part with them. Whenever I touch these objects, it all comes back to me: Anthony hunched over in front of the TV, cursing the Count, the Reaper and other such fiends, rejoicing whenever he cleared a difficult pattern, his joy whenever I did the same.
Beloved... I can't wait to see you, hear you, smell you, touch you, feel you once more. I hope they have videogames in the afterlife. If they make life worth living, they might make it worthwhile to endure death.
In the meantime... I'll do it, Love: I'll slay the Count and his hordes in your name again. You'll be amazed how much I've improved. Can't wait for the day I'll finally hear it in your own words...

Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/intj/comments/7rg0sh/on_being_too_selfaware/
I posted here four years ago when I was 23. At that time in my life I was incredibly introverted, had very few friends, and found it hard to relate to others because, as I termed it in my first post, I felt too "self-aware": I was never able to relax in social situations and connect with other people because I was trapped in my own head, thinking about what I should say, how it would come across, what other people were doing, etc., on and on and on.
I never anticipated posting a followup, but am doing so because over the past four years I have gotten so, so many messages from fellow Redditors sharing their similar struggles with feeling too self-aware. Many posed the same question: Does it get better?
I'm here to say that it does. It does get better. And, to my immense happiness, some of the folks who previously messaged me have since followed up and said that it got better for them, too. All of this has spurred me to make this update to share my story (I'll keep it as brief as possible), to encourage those of you who struggle or have struggled with similar issues to come forward, and to assure you that it can and does get better.
There absolutely is hope.
But I wasn't filled with much hope when I made that post all those years ago. I was in my undergrad at the time, at a big school in Colorado where I felt I should've made lots of friends but somehow hadn't. I worked for my school newspaper and semi-connected with those people, but otherwise I spent my time going for long walks alone, watching Youtube, reading, playing video games, you name it. In the years since, I've moved across the country, gone through graduate school, and now work for the university I graduated from. In many regards I am a totally different person from who I was in 2019.
The change came in grad school. Before going, an undergrad professor of mine told me, "You'll love it, it'll be two years straight of writing (I did an MFA) and hanging out with other writers; some of the people who'll be your friends for the rest of your life." That sounded great but deep down I thought, no, that couldn't be me: social things just don't work out for me.
That professor was so right. For the first time ever, I was constantly around people just like me. Writers, introverts, creative types. That was part of what helped, but it's not the main thing. The main thing that helped me is that, like some sort of magic, my perspective shifted and I realized that my mind wasn't an inescapable prison, but that it was a prison with an unlocked door - like that image of the horse tied up to the flimsy plastic lawn chair, there was nothing trapping me in my mind except for the perception that I couldn't leave. And so, gradually, I just left.
What that means in concrete terms is that I stopped holding everything in. I stopped worrying about what I thought other people wanted to hear from me, or what I thought they expected I should say. This feels so obvious typing it out now, but really it all comes down to sharing your honest, genuine thoughts with those around you. When I went to a party and felt overwhelmed, I told people that. "Man, it's overwhelming in here, huh?" I'd say, and people agreed with me.
That's it. That's the big secret. Just be honest with how you feel. Some people won't agree with you, but a lot more people than you think will; and by being honest, you give them the confidence to be honest back. That lays a much stronger foundation for a genuine relationship than trying to pretend.
You are not alone in feeling stuck inside your own head. You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed or inadequate. There are lots of fellow Redditors who feel those same ways, of course, but there are without a doubt others around you in your real life who feel the same way too, who would love to connect with someone on a deeper level just as you would. It just takes a little emotional honesty to get there, and to find those people.
I won't name any of the lovely people who have messaged me in the years since my original post, but if you are one of those people, I encourage you to comment your own story - if you're still struggling, how you're feeling, or your story of how you overcame feeling too self-aware.
Thanks everyone.

I tried to take a video of a couple corys, but couldn't get a good visual on their problems. I will try to describe my concerns.
I have eight C. habrosus in a 10 gallon tank. They share the space with a very non-confrontational betta, cherry shrimp, and many small snails. The healthier ones seem pretty happy - very active, moving all around the tank, good coloration, snuffling in the substrate (sand). But some are a little off-looking, and as far as I know, it's not anything I'm doing.
When I first wanted to try these, I bought a group of three (store only had three, or I would've gotten more). Two died within two days. One was found dead in the morning, likely from the stress of being introduced to the tank, as I did it improperly. The other developed what I thought was a red wound behind its right gill; the blotch spread in a matter of hours and I had to euthanize it when it became too weak to sit upright.
I then got six more, after deciding that I wanted to keep trying and would do better. They seemed great, though I started to only see five of them. I later bought four more (along with the betta) to bring the group number up to ten; found that one from the former group had died of unknown causes, so the group became nine. Another cory died from what looked to be ich or epistylis; he had these barely-visible white spots all over his body. Down to eight.
Today I noticed that one cory had curled barbels, looked kind of weird, and wasn't moving much. I found him resting in one of my floaters. I tried to catch him, but he swam into a hiding place before I could find a cup or net.
Another cory has this small red spot on top of her pelvic fin and was moving somewhat slower than the rest, but seemed otherwise healthy. A third one seems to have barbel erosion, and I thought the front of its face had turned white; upon removing it and inspecting, it was not, but its barbels still look pretty bad. When I put it back into the tank, one of its very eroded barbels got caught on something. It is now sitting motionless in the front of the tank, I assume in pain.
I would like to continue trying to keep this species, but may avoid buying from my LFS. Alternatively, if it's not a good idea to keep trying, I could attempt to rehome them (will be pretty difficult, though). If you have any advice on treating infectious diseases in corys, or on alleviating their problems, please let me know. Thank you.

From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
TL;DR: We're both 32. She escaped a miserable marriage in a foreign country (Turkey) and we met half a year afterwards, falling completely in love with each other, speeding past each relationship step until we were in each other's arms and seeing one another every single week, for eight months. I was under the impression this whole time that she'd be going to Turkey to divorce, yet four patient months after she left... I find out she's staying, for religious reasons, and possibly the pressure of her parents. I have never felt so betrayed and used, by someone I thought truly loved me, for the first time. There is still reason to believe she isn't doing this entirely of her own choice, because I get the strong sense she has no love for this man—who is a conniving manipulator who acts like he has morality on his side all because of religion—and her own parents have shown themselves to be suffocatingly overbearing and controlling.

I’m one of the devoted fans who dedicated my vacation to Houston to going to my first TK concert. I really did feel like a “victim” when I boarded my flight home to North Carolina on Monday morning. I had to gather my thoughts before posting this. If I felt like it didn’t help me or someone else I won’t have posted my opinion. Here goes. The world of large rock arena shows has many sides or competing interests. There is the art of rock and rock- make art and the ends justify the means. For example The Stones played on at Altamont while people were stomped by the show’s “security detail.” Led Zep was known to land in a helicopter at the venue in order to take off never to be seen the next minute. This was and still is rock and rock- flip off what ever doesn’t feel good now. Artists are well artists. Another side is corporate interests. I work in that world and my work pays my bills and I stand by my work. Corporate interests have lately been scrutinized by US Senate Anti-Trust Committees whereby Senator Blumenthal asked Ticket Master to “Respectfully look in the mirror and say it’s me. I’m the problem.” This corporate side adds more dates for artists to play more than humanly possible. This side overbooks and over-commits venues so that preparations for The Final Four have to compete with a twice booked make up concert. Later this summer Houston will host The Cure and Depeche Mode among others. Then there is the side of common sense which I am sad to say has been missing from both TK and Houston’s Toyota Center. I hate to admit that my favorite band that hasn’t traveled to the Carolinas since they were a small band has less common sense than Guns N Roses, Taylor Swift, DMB and Beyoncé. GNR, TS and Queen B posted their near entire schedule publicly on their websites before tickets went on sale. These artists proactively invited fans to join fan clubs to get the advance ticket and info. They made it easy to join(I joined GNR’s Night Train so I could see them in Charlotte). For TK I researched their schedule and crossed checked against my schedule and budget. If I would have known that private corporate shows and benefit shows were to cloud an already tight schedule I would have arranged to fly to Atlantic City or Columbus. I have to respectfully ask our boys who’s side are you on? We are all human and get sick and as humans we evolved to make art to share it. We evolved to be ethical and fair and improve the needed relationship with corporations. As humans who evolved to dancers we learned to ask “where’s the logic?” Can we trust that your art is available for me too?

So I was brewing a little fan rework of our best and oldest, Zilean.
First of all, It was important to me that he keeps his time theme, without sliding to ekko territory or getting absolutely overloaded, as usually every new or updated champ does -> keeping his based, modest and fun PlayKit true and alive. I will just go forward and slightly explain described changes while writing through this. If U dont like long messages, do urself a favor and retreat now... for all the others grab urslefs a drink and i hope u enjoy...
​
THE TIME MAGE:
... His passive is/was really weird and not really good BUT very unique: working with allied experience and therefore granting potential bursts of opportunities while leveling up.... but at 18 thats it. And this to me makes no sense, for he is the time mage and it shouldt just "stop" for him at 18... so i had an idea.
P: {( After leveling up, Zilean gains 50% decaying movement speed over 3 seconds. Zilean has no maximum level. )} Think about it. Those small bursts of movement speed could still enable some propper hidden surprise manovers and plays. AND him not having a maximum level, doesnt stop this passive in any way and i think its abosultely hilarious (and logiucal) for him to not stop leveling. Gaining basic champion stats until the end of the game (like urf) and keeping his passive speed bursts alive. (Of course not being able to level up abilities infinitely...) That decaying movement speed could possibly really do absolutely nothing - but that was his old pasive too and now he at least gets a fun way to be the time mage.
​
TIME BOMB:
We all love / hate his Q, depending on which team you are. Its unique, its zoning, its potential cc and its good damage. So long story short i wouldnt really change it (much).
Q: {( Same I Guess )} The only thing i would do is maybe decrease the damage a little but keep the potential stun on a constant 1.5 seconds (instead of 1.1-1.5). It would just feel natural and award good accuracy and maybe even make him less of a poke annoyer... because there is plenty of those.
​
REWIND:
The laziest Idea Riot champion designers ever came up with... and it works! His Q and E are so versatile and polyusable that they just did exactly that. Although i think its weird how low the cooldown gets on this ability (6 seconds) and that they balanced it in early game for just reducing 10 seconds of Q and E at every level.
W: {( Zilean resets the current cooldown of Q and E. )} I mean its called "rewind"... not "cut back 10 seconds" Here i would increase the cooldown tho up to a constant 12 to maybe 15 seconds at very level but thats fair if this means instant refreshes. Yes - this would mean that leveling up REWIND doesnt add any bonus to it... but i would still wanna give it a plus side in any way... It starts of with 40 mana cost and then 30/20/10/, going down to 0 cost at ability-lvl5 i guess. i think its funny and it makes sense to me.
​
TIME WARP:
Similar to Q,: very unique, quite "perfect" and compatible with W. So I would let it be, but maybe change it to be a bit more orthodox to mathematicians...
E: {( Same I Guess }) Maybe changing speed effects to 35/50/65/80/95% (instead of 40/55/70/85/99%) for this 99% really bothers me. Although people might say this is the reasong it is so legendary, it just reminds me of old talon and it is a weird number to look at... The target is effected for 3 seconds though! (instead of 2.5) This would give tenacity a harder time (because its duration reduction and not effectiveness i think) and it makes up for the slightly worse percentage slow i guess.
​
TIME STOP:
Idk about u guys but personally Zilean ult was almost always a miss for me. Idk if its the fact that i had to play against it, or that it is actually an item (guardian angel) and i hate when someones ability can be bought by another champ, or that it also doesnt really fit to his time / speed kit. (some might argue that this jsut restets life span or time of death of allied champs... but that doesnt make me happy) So i went for something that is very accurate in theme but i may need ur help, redditers, to balance it with me.... as u can see its "time stop"
R: {( Zilean stops time globally, suppressing all enemy champions, entities, traps, pets and even turrets for 1.5/1.75/2 seconds. While time is stopped, cool downs of effected targets stop as well. )} Its 2 short sentences yes, but i am afraid that this would break the game in any way or that this would go in the opposite direction and do nothing. Which would make me very said, because to me this looks like a perfect Zilean themed ultimate. It could use some wind up time like a channel or maybe a sleep - enemies being slowed increasingly for a small duration until eventually they are frozen in time for those seconds. Being able to prepare for zileans ult. I would crank the cooldown high up for it IS globally. For example 150/130/110 seconds. I would hate to see it come up in a fight multiple times like stinking poopoo yas ult which has 20 sec cd at the end of a game. and i would make it expensive as hell like 100/125/150 mana cost, similar to amumu ult. As a flavor, it would be cool if frozen enemies can not be moved because its not really them that are frozen, but time itself. Imagine a poppy swinging her ultimate hammer onto an Ashe while zilean just ulted. Yes Ashe would recieve the damage, but not be forced away from her postion. On one hand this would mean that Zilean's TIME STOP is not really combinale with other abilities like Yasuo R, Poppy R, Ksante R to name a modern example. But this would shine in a good working team:: Zilean ults and everyone knows they got about 2 seconds to prepare for their next moves within the team, while enemies are not gaining anything from this time, for they are suppressed and not getting their potential cooldowns refreshed (even summs and death timer??!)
​
So yeah thats it. Cool if u made it this far. Let me know what u think and pls give me ur critique and ur possible better suggestions!

Hi,
I'm not technically a driver *yet* because I am waiting on background completion. Something odd happened at the vehicle inspection that rubbed me the wrong way and I am wondering if I got screwed somehow. Maybe someone can suggest what to look for.
I went to vehicle inspection at an Uber Green Hub, whatever that is, as suggested by the signup process in the driver app. Car passed perfectly, no issues. The inspector, who appeared to be a current or former driver, when the inspection was completing asked for my phone with the driver app opened. I gave it to him and he proceeded to push, change or otherwise do a lot of stuff in the app. He didn't say what he did, he just handed back the phone, smiled and said I was done.
What would he have changed or set in my driver app? This market I am in can be competitive and I am concerned he may have set or done something in my app that would be counter to my interests.
Is there anywhere in the app that you set up the kind of driver you want to be (black, select, comfort, etc)? Or what level of rides you will accept? Anything that someone might set or select that would exclude me from ride opportunities or other good things?
My car qualifies for Black and Comfort levels. Maybe it is nothing but he seemed pretty intent on what he was doing in my driver app and it has been bugging me. I don't know enough about the app or process to know what he might have set or configured.
Many thanks...

Dear colleagues,
Please circulate (and consider for yourselves and collaborators!):
For the fifteenth year, the International Researchers Consortium will host a full-day workshop at the annual College Conference on Composition and Communication (CCCC) conference, which will be located in Spokane, Washington, USA, 3-6 April 2024. We are inviting brief proposals for up to twenty-four researcher-participant roles focused on research about writing in higher education outside of the U.S.
By research, we mean a project with a focused research question, an identified methodology (qualitative, quantitative, ethnographic, historical, discourse analysis, corpus, etc.), and the collection of data in some form. This research can be at any stage and does not need to be final. For this US-based CCCC workshop, the project should be "international" for a largely U.S.-based audience, by which we mean, here, carried out either by scholars in countries other than the U.S. studying writing there, or scholars collaborating deeply across borders, including U.S. borders. The research can be focused on the teaching, study, production, or circulation of writing in any language, and can use data in any language. We are willing to help with translation of a text into English as needed, if the paper is accepted for the workshop.
Your role in the workshop would be to provide a draft text about the research by the end of November 2023, to read the other workshop facilitators’ texts before attending the conference, and to participate in the day-long workshop by leading a discussion about your project and participating in discussions of a subset of others’ projects.
We hope to engage researcher-participants from many countries and research traditions in an equal exchange dialogue, learning from each other: the primary focus is on the writing research itself. We know that researchers around the world are interested in finding sites for serious cross-national conversation that includes multiple research traditions. This workshop is designed to make space available for extended time to read, process, think through, and discuss in detail each other’s work. We have seen, through offering similar workshops over the past 15 years, the benefits of these extended discussions, given that we inhabit many roles of differing discursive power across complex, multiple linguistic, institutional, political, geographic, theoretical and pedagogical spaces. This full day space permits us to get rich feedback on our own projects, as well as respond to each other’s work and understand other institutional, cultural, and political contexts. It is also a chance to include each other in our respective local contexts as a community, encouraging collective reflection on the nature and status of higher education writing research more broadly, and sponsoring collaboration as a network of writing scholars across these contexts. Here is a link to previous workshops.
We invite you to submit a brief proposal that describes a research project (in process or completed) that you would be interested in sharing with other facilitators and participants for discussion and feedback. This proposal should briefly explain your project and its goals and methods, then how you currently see your research fitting into a network of writing researchers. In other words, what connections do you expect to see with other kinds of research, and what do you think researchers from other contexts might learn from your study? When appropriate, describe what kind of audience, scholarly journal, or professional audience might be interested in your research.
After we’ve collected the brief project proposals, we’ll incorporate them into a draft of a full proposal for the workshop, which we will share with all potential workshop participants for comment before submitting it to the CCCC on May 9th.
Please submit your proposal by April 25 viathis form. Apologies for the tight turnaround time, but the requested information should not take you more than 30-45 minutes to complete. This proposal can be quite informal (it serves to help us determine appropriate projects, and only the title will appear in the program), so please feel free to send something along without a laborious process. If we have questions, we’ll ask. Do keep a copy for yourself, as the survey collector will not send a copy back to you.
We strongly encourage you to submit a proposal to the CCCC as an individual presenter, as well:https://cccc.ncte.org/cccc/call-2024. The CCCC format allows individuals to present at both a workshop and a concurrent session (but it does not allow individuals to present at more than one concurrent session).
The annual Conference on College Composition and Communication (CCCC) will be taking place 3-6 April 2024 in Spokane, Washington, USA. (See information about the CCCC conferencehere). We hope you will join us in Spokane for a day of sharing and discussing writing research with colleagues from around the world.
Please write with any questions at all:[[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Thank you!
Co-Chairs of the IRC Steering Committee
Steffen Guenzel
Brooke Schreiber
Jay Jordan
IRC Steering Committee:

Marcela Hebbard [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Jay Jordan [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Tiane Donahue [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Steffen Guenzel [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Magnus Gustafsson [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Brooke Schreiber [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Alena Kasparkova [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Teresa Mateo Girono [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Angela Rounsaville [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
via IFTTT

This is a very multilayered story going back a generation so I can only provide a summary or it will just be a big TLDR.
I haven’t spoken to my cousin in about four years after a will and property settlement dispute following the death of our uncle. I was named in the will, but the circumstances around it were shady due to my father making some questionable power of attorney decisions for both my grandmother and uncle (he somehow managed to buy out my grandmother’s house also some 15 years before he became active in my uncle’s last will and testament, wherein I, my sister, and father were named to inherit his house). So, whether or not my father is shady and manipulative/greedy is an entirely different post.
After being served with the will where I was named as a beneficiary, I immediately knew it was not something I wanted any part in. After speaking to the attorney my sister had hired to settle the estate, I was told that he could not just remove me from the will, and that I would need to retain a separate attorney and file a complaint to be removed and it would have to be re-written. I could not afford to do that. So I used LegalZoom to create a letter for the case file removing myself as a beneficiary so that I neither owed nor profited anything—and had that notarized. My father, my sister and I all signed it. Then I took a sigh of relief thinking I was free of all this mess.
During all this time my aunt was opening a lawsuit against my father, and also bringing into it my uncle who lives near Australia. To make matters even worse, dead uncle’s estranged wife who had used him as a means to get to the US also appeared to try and get a share of this clusterfuck.
I had signed and notarized my exit letter, and put two copies on file with the attorney, who made everyone aware that I was out including all the family members who were opening lawsuits against my father. My cousin also got a copy. She continued to accuse me of stealing inheritance money from her, and said it was bullshit that I said I couldn’t afford to retain an attorney separately and that she didn’t believe me. I was very hurt, but knew I was telling the truth and had done nothing wrong.
After nearly a year of drama, we parted ways not in a dramatic fashion but with relative civility, and after it was over I took time to heal because I had never encountered a situation like this. She said she would always struggle to trust me, so what was the point in continuing to hang out.
Fast forward to nearly four years later and I received a text from her saying she would like to talk but understands if I don’t want to, and claims she has been thinking about me. I pinned the text, but haven’t responded, and am not sure if I will. I have absolutely no ill will toward her, but she has other mental health struggles also and can be unpredictable at times, and when I think about restarting contact with her I feel tired. But I love her, she’s the only person on my father’s side of the family that I stayed in contact with.
Money brings out the worst in people. Almost without fail—IME.

Pics
I've owned this monitor since 2019 when I bought it as my second of these (the other I'll be listing for sale some time soon, and was the 2017 model) and loved the single-cable USB-C docking feature. It's truly excellent. For the past ~12-15 months this thing has been on loan to a friend who only needed it as a rare occasional backup to his flaky monitor, and now no longer needs it. I don't either, so off to some good home it goes!
Asking $350 OBO locally anywhere in northwestern Washington between Olympia and the Canadian border, west of the mountains. Alternatively I will ship this thing anywhere CONUS but we'll need to negotiate the shipping - these things are bulky and heavy and are not cheap to ship, so we'll probably need to talk about at least splitting the cost of shipping, or more. But that door is open.

Bug season is coming.
Insect Shield is well known and liked for their professional permethrin treatment of your own clothing. Figured I'd check out their own branded offerings to see if they might be contenders to add to my warm weathebug season kit in my eternal battle against the biting hordes.
I picked up three items. Haven't had a chance yet to field test them - these are just initial impressions.

• Shoreline shirt (button up) (7.2oz for men's M, claimed SPF 40+, micro polyester)
• Long sleeve tech tee (7.2oz for men's M, claimed SPF 30, poly knit)
• Mesh sport pants (8.9oz for men's M, poly mesh)

Shoreline shirt: Light and comfy, not a slim fit but not boxy either. Ventilated back and flaps over front pockets. Some mesh in a few small panels. Fabric is surprisingly thin. Seems like it should be comfortable in warm/hot weather.
Long sleeve tech tee: First thing that struck me was how airy this shirt feels. Medium fit is slightly loose (6', 175lbs, athletic build), but seems like that will promote good airflow more than anything else. Again surprised by how thin the fabric feels, I wonder if the permethrin is intended to do the heavy lifting here in keeping mosquitoes away (rather than a physical barrier). But light and breathable fabric is essential as the temps rise - if it's not breathable enough, the odds that I'd actually wear the shirt go down very fast. Though coincidentally they go up really fast again when the bugs come out to play.
Mesh sport pants: Wasn't sure what to expect with these. Definitely not going to win any style awards with the fit. Totally straight leg with wide opening - wide enough to easily fit over a boot, but would probably have to take shoes/boots off to put on/take off the pants. On the plus side though they are definitely breathable and seem to allow good air circulation. Will have to see how these fare in the field.

Howdy Reddit!
Back at it again with more trimming of the stack to build up funds for an upcoming purchase. Help me do a little alcemy and convert this silver into a golden doggo and maybe some graded ASE sets.
In case you missed it here is the Proof
Now lets get to the sale
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Discounted Lots

• Mercury Lot - $650 Shipped
  • Buy All $30 FV of Mercs and add a 1oz Mercury Round for $20 with Free priority Shipping
• SLQ's Lot - $130 Shipped
  • Buy All $5 in Dateless SLQ's and add a SLQ round for $25 with Free First Class Shipping
• Peace Lot - $120 Shipped (2 available)
  • Buy 1 Intaglio Tribue Round and get 2 90% Peace Rounds for $25 each with Free First Class Shipping
• Freedom Pellet Lot - $200 Shipped
  
  • 3oz Arrow Head, 2oz .233/556 Round, and 1oz 9mm with Free First Class Shipping
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90% (Available in $5 increments)

• $30 FV of Mercury Dimes @ 21x FV or $105 per $5
• $5 of Dateless SLQs @ 21x FV or $105 per $5
• $5 FV of Roosevelt Dimes @ 20x or $100 per $5 (Below Buy Back)
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  Premium Stuff
  
• Intaglio Ultra High Relief 1921 Peace Dollar Tribute - $70 (3 2 available)
  
• 3oz Orignal Freedom Pellet (Spearhead / Arrow Head)- $33per oz
  
• 2oz Modern Freedom Pellet (.223 / 556)- $34 per oz
  
• 1oz Personal Freedom Pellet (.45)- $35 per oz
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Gold

• NGC MS69 1993 $5 American Gold Eagle - $245
• NCC PF70UC 2003-W $5 Proof American Gold Eagle - On Hold
• NGC MS70 2004 $10 American Gold Eagle - On Hold
• NGC PF70UC 2010-W $25 Proof American Gold Eagle - On Hold

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Payment and Shipping information:
Zelle, Venmo, or PPFF (in order of preference). Let's be friends, and use smiley emojis (no notes).
Shipping via USPS to U.S. Residents . $5 First Class in a bubble mailer, or $10 Priority in Small Flat Rate Box. Insurance, Signature Confirmation, or upgraded shipping available at buyers request/expense.
Notable recent feedback about my shipping includes:

• I lost my job because I thought I'd have time to open this package over lunch hour!
• If I ever sent my son priority mail... I'd ask HalfDeafYeller to package him.
• The shipping was so secure, it may have taken me longer to open than it took to ship
• Had to call in the Army Corps of Engineers to help me get through all the packaging.
• Clear your calendar and get a sharp knife because unboxing your item is going to be an event to remember
• Packaging should be used as a "Forged In Fire" blade test.

Items have been sigma verified and will shipped be in multiple layers of bubble wrap, cardboard and up to 5 different types of tape.
I try to be the type of seller that I would like to buy from! Check my feedback, get a reference from those I have sold to in the past, and if you want we can use a middleman.
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Disclaimers:

1. Making an Offer - Rule #5 prevents you from doing WTB's for less than spot, so that now applies to any offer made to me. If you want to make an offer please be aware of the current market for the items you are interested in. I strongly suggest new members send a comp to show you at attempted to research the current market value. You are welcomed (even encouraged) to make an offer below the comp. However if I think the offer is to low and there is no comp you will be ignored or blocked. On a side note, I have unknowingly made unreasonable offers before, but only on numismatic items. If that is the case I will not hold it against you... this disclaimer is more for the users that waste my time with offers below spot and 30-40% below retail value.
2. Shipping Risk- I cannot be responsible for delivery after the package has left my possession but I will do my part to make sure the package and its contents will arrive safely. Your items will be in multiple layers of bubble wrap, cardboard and up to 5 different types of tape and I will hand deliver it, over the counter, to USPS. If your concerned about the safety of the times I will take photos of the items, the shipping label, and the package before I send it and I will always keep the receipt from when I hand it off.
3. Condition of Items - I am not a professional coin grader. Use pictures and videos to judge for yourself. If the condition is a concern I will upload more videos/photos of any coin listed so you can fully inspect it prior to any money changing hands. I would rather take the time to make sure you will be happy with your purchase than rush into a sale.

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“I know you’re awake…Katherine…Kaaaaatheriiiine…”
“Shut up.” I had been awake for a little while, just staring at the wall.
“I knew it.”
“Can you not sleep?” I rolled over and looked at him as I asked the question.
James was in his rocking chair in the corner of our bedroom right next to the window. The moon outside was illuminating his face.
“I’m ok. Just a lot on my mind.”
“Like what?” I did my best to sit up. I was almost at my due date and I was enormous. During the pregnancy I wasn’t quite as sensitive to his little issues that I normally was.
James suffered from severe bouts of anxiety and he would spend lots of nights just rocking in his chair, trying not to worry about things.
“I think we should get a dog.”
“What?”
“We should get a dog. Every kid should grow up with a dog.” He turned his head to look at me. Most of his face was in shadow, but his eyes were bright. He smiled at me.
“Ok. Is that it? That’s what’s keeping you up?”
“Yes. Oh, and I also love you.”
“I love you too.”
“And I farted.” I had never known James to end anything on any kind of sappy note, so he always had to say or do something childish to ruin the moment.
I loved him so much.
-
“He’s kind of gross.” There were so many dogs at the shelter, but my husband immediately went to the mangiest one. A large mutt with his tongue hanging limply out of the side of his mouth. The mousey brown fur looked like someone had teased it with a brush and sealed the deal with an entire can of hairspray, and he had a slight limp as it walked toward this strange new man making baby talk. I watched the dog cock its head from side to side like it understood what James was saying.
“He’s perfect.” I could tell that James was in love.
“Why him?”
“Well…every other little guy in here is so animated and vibrant. He’s…um…not.”
“He looks like an oversized mouse with bad hair.”
“That’s perfect!”
“What?”
“We can name him Feivel! Does Feivel like that name?! Who’s a bugaboo doggie?! Who’s da doggie?!” The dog started making inquisitive whines and that lazy tongue came to life and began to lick the strange man's fingers through the chain link fence.
Feivel came home with us, and for a month that dog never left my husband’s side.
-
“What happened?”
“Can you put me on speaker so Art can hear me?”
“Ok. You’re scaring me Katherine.” I was trying to hold it together. James’ parents had recently moved to the east coast, so I had no choice but to call them on the phone with the news. “Ok, you’re on speaker.”
“Ok. James… um… James had an accident. It was a hit and run. Someone hit him with a car while he was crossing the street and then just kept driving.”
“Oh my God! Is he alright?”
“He’s um…” I had been with James since our sophomore year in high school, but we had been friends since we were six. I had known his parents for almost just as long.
“He’s…he’s gone.”
“Oh my God…”
I had to make lots of phone calls that day. It was the hardest day of my life.
-
“Mommy needs to talk to you.”
Feivel had been pacing the house for three days. When he wasn’t pacing, he would just sit at the front door waiting for James to come home. He wouldn't sit with me, almost like he blamed me for James not being there.
“Come here. Feivel! Come here.” He finally gave in and walked over to the couch. I patted the cushion next to me and he jumped on the couch and sat down.
He grunted at me several times and when he was done voicing his frustrations, his tongue jutted out of the side of his mouth and just hung there.
I don’t know if it sounds stupid or not, but I had a conversation with him about what had happened to his Daddy and why he wasn’t with us anymore. I felt like it would have been cruel not to.
He stared at me through the whole story and when I was finished, there was a heavy silence between us that was eventually broken by a small cry from him before he put his head in my lap.
-
Three weeks later, I had Casey. The birth was rough and there were multiple issues. For a little bit there, I was afraid that I might lose her too. She had to stay in the hospital longer than I would have liked, but when I was finally able to bring her home, Feivel took to her instantly.
He was always next to her.
-
As the years went by, I made sure Casey knew every detail about her father. I would tell her stories and Feivel would always add something in his own language. I don’t know if he was backing up what I said or perhaps contradicting it, but I do know he was always happy to be included in the reminiscing.
Shortly after she turned four, Casey’s favorite pastime was drawing with her crayons. I had quite a few pictures up on our fridge of our little family in the midst of imagined adventures. She always drew James in with us. The way she always emphasized his balding head would make me smile.
I would BBQ on Friday nights because James had always done the same.
When we first moved in, he had built a huge grilling station out of brick and bought this ridiculously large grill that could almost fit an entire cow inside of it. James had said we would need it for the amount of children and grandchildren that we were going to have. We would sit in front of it every Friday night with a bottle of whiskey while he cooked.
Casey and I would sit at the same table and have juice while we made hot dogs. I thought it was important to keep some of our traditions alive for Casey.
In spite of losing James, we were happy. I started to adjust to a life without a partner, which was not a very easy thing to do since we had been a part of each other’s lives since we were both six years old.
-
Almost five years after I lost James, I met Stephen. I was a busy woman with a young daughter and up to that point, I had not even thought about dating. There was something different about Stephen though. I was interested in him from the first time we met.
Casey and I were playing in the park with Feivel one day and somehow we lost him. He just vanished. I looked for him for hours while my mom watched Casey, but I couldn’t find him. For three days I was beside myself and Casey was constantly in tears. Then, Stephen showed up on my doorstep holding our Feivel at the end of a leash.
A tall man with thick hair and trendy glasses wearing a flannel and jeans.
“Oh my God!”
“Hi. I uh…found him in the park down by the river.” I snatched him up and he started whimpering and shaking his butt back and forth. I completely ignored the man at my door. When Feivel had had enough of my pets, he ran inside to look for Casey.
“Thank you so much. Oh my God, you have no idea how much we missed him.” I was wiping tears from my eyes.
“Oh, I might have a clue.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
As I was wiping my nose on the sleeve of my sweatshirt, I realized that the man standing at my door was gorgeous.
“Can I…let me give you some money or something. You have no idea how happy you just made my daughter.”
“No, that's ok. Just happy to help.”
“Thank you.”
There was something about the way he looked at me with his eyes. My stomach fluttered. I wanted to invite him in, and the fact that I wanted to do that upset me.
I thanked him. I didn’t even ask him for his name. I’ll admit that I even closed the door on him a little more abruptly than I meant to.
All three of us shared my bed that night. It was the best night’s sleep I’d had in years.
-
A couple weeks went by and then I saw him again, the man who had found Feivel. He was sitting in the park with his back against a tree, reading a book. Casey and I had been taking turns throwing a frisbee for Feivel, and I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I decided that I would thank him again and apologize for being so awkward.
As I walked closer, I took in every detail. I was sure he was a few years younger than I was and he looked very athletic. His glasses rested on the tip of his nose as he read from The Winter of Our Discontent; Steinbeck has always been my favorite author.
Feivel must have seen him just as I was about to say something because he reached the man before I did. I could hear Casey calling for me.
“Hold on honey. Give me a second.”
Feivel was all over the man and he was laughing at the writhing whining beast who was trying its best to lick every inch of his face.
“Feivel, don’t be rude.”
“No, it's fine. I’m glad he remembers me.”
“Yeah. Wow, he really remembers you.” Feivel was so excited that he started to whimper and expose his tummy. “Feivel! Have some self respect!”
The man stood up next to me. My stomach was fluttering again and I could not stop looking at his eyes.
“Hey, I have to apologize about…uh the way I kinda shut my door in your face.” He laughed.
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“Mommy?” Casey had run up behind me and was partially hiding herself behind my leg while she stared at the man. “Mommy?”
“This is my daughter Casey.”
“Hello Casey.”
“Hello.”
“My name’s Stephen.” Casey stayed behind my leg.
“It’s ok honey. Tell him your name.”
“I’m Casey and this is my mom. Her name is Katherine.”
“Well…you’re a very pretty girl and it’s very nice to meet you.” I noticed that his eyes started to tear up while he was looking at my Casey. He wiped his eyes and shook his head. He was clearly embarrassed. “I’m sorry. She just… reminds me of my niece. We lost her a few years ago.”
We talked for a while that day. Every time he looked over at Casey, I swore that he was on the verge of tears.
-
It didn’t take very long at all; I was hooked. Feivel was hooked. Eventually, even Casey was hooked.
I tried to take it slow. I didn’t want to date anyone. I wasn’t over James and I knew it, but I just wanted to be around this man and I honestly could not explain what it was at the time. I always wanted him at the house, so he was there all the time. I loved it when he looked at me.
For the most part, he was great, but there were some things that were off. There were things I should have paid more attention to, but again, there was something about him that made me feel like I needed him.
He would kiss me with his eyes open every time, and even though the way he kissed me was great, something about it still gave me the creeps. I would crack my eyes open sometimes in the hopes that he had stopped doing it. Every time I saw those eyes staring back at me, I felt uneasy. I had only ever been with James, so I thought maybe some guys just did that, even though all of my friends thought it was weird too.
He also did things when he would come over that would raise the hairs on the back of my neck. Maybe that description is a little too harsh for what I was thinking at the time, but it fits now.
He would move things around the house. The toilet paper would be folded in that terrible triangle every time. James used to do that. He would also randomly adjust my coffee cups in the cabinet so the handles all faced the same way. Again, something my James used to do.
I had no idea what he did for a living, he told me he was in construction, but I had no idea who he worked for. He had never invited me over to his house, nor did he ever talk about his family.
My friends told me that I needed to relax and just enjoy myself. I admit, for the most part he seemed like the almost perfect guy. It was almost like he knew everything about me.
-
It was three months before he stayed overnight. I had Casey stay over at my mother’s house because it didn’t feel right to have her there.
We tried to be intimate, but I felt dirty. He said it was fine. He stayed anyway.
In the middle of the night I rolled over and cracked my eyes open. He was in the rocking chair in the corner. The moon was illuminating his eyes while he looked out the window. I thought I was dreaming for a minute.
“I know you’re awake…Katherine…Katherine?”
I didn’t say anything. I pretended to sleep. He turned his face to me and smiled. His eyes were so wide and bright.
“Katherine?”
I never went back to sleep that night. I just laid there for a while going back and forth from feeling like I was betraying my husband to feeling like I was an idiot who should just enjoy having a relationship with someone.
Around four in the morning, I had finally begun to drift off to sleep, but Stephen started making noises.
I rolled over and realized that his eyes were wide open. I was going to say something, but he was asleep. I waved my hand in front of his face to make sure.
He began to grunt and his body would shake every now and then. He was having a bad dream and his open eyes began darting back and forth.
“Get out of my head…” He whispered it twice. “Fuck you…out of my head…Mine now…”
It was too much to take. I quietly slid off of the bed and backed my way out of the room. Just as I made it to my door, his eyes moved and focused on me. He was still asleep, but it was like his eyes were watching me just the same.
I walked downstairs. He continued to talk in his sleep for over an hour. I was pretty sure right then that I had to break it off, or at least really slow down. I just didn’t feel right. And to be honest, I was a little creeped out.
-
I was drinking my coffee in the kitchen and thinking about what I was going to say when something caught my eye. Casey’s pictures of our family on the fridge looked different.I got up and took a closer look. James had been changed in every picture. He didn’t have short hair anymore, it was full and he was also wearing glasses. My heart skipped a beat and I felt a terrible lump in my throat. I wondered what this man had said to my daughter to convince her to remove her father from the pictures. I was done.
A few minutes later, he came downstairs in a rush. He was wearing a black Flogging Molly t-shirt. James’ favorite shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“Good morning! I forgot to turn on the alarm! I’m going to be late for work!”
“Stephen, why are you wearing that shirt?”
“I found it in your closet.”
“But why are you wearing it?”
“Well in case you forgot, I ripped the one I was wearing last night.”
“That’s my husband’s shirt.”
“Oh come on, he’s not going to be wearing it anytime soon. I gotta go, I’ll see you after work.” He leaned in for a kiss, but I backed away. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t think this is going to work out.”
“What?”
“I think we need to take a break.”
“Over a t-shirt?”
“There’s…there’s a lot of things Stephen.”
“Are you being fucking serious with me right now?” His voice raised, something I had not yet experienced with him. Something in my head told me to back away from him, so I did. I backed right up against the counter within reach of my knives. It made me feel better.
“I think so.”
“But I don’t want to do that. Tell me what I did and I’ll fix it. I’ll take off the shirt. Katherine…please.” I looked right into his eyes. I thought maybe I was overreacting, but the pictures, messing with my daughter to erase her father, that was the breaking point.
“Please leave.”
The kindness in his face fell away to an ugliness that made me start to tremble. He noticed it. A smile slowly started to rise and it looked like he was going to take a step closer. I rested my hand on the counter behind me, inches from the knife block. He halted and stood still.
“Feivel!” My dog ran into the kitchen at the sound of my voice and looked back and forth between us. I could tell that he sensed the tension. Feivel walked over to my side and just looked back at Stephen without making a sound.
“Are you going to sick the dog on me? Are you crazy or something?”
“Stephen, I just want you to leave.”
“I thought I did everything right.” He let out a sigh. “I had all the answers. I know everything about you and I still can’t make it work. This cannot be my fault…it’s not…it’s your fault! Why are you doing this?!”
“Leave. Now.”
“Ok…I just…” He started laughing and looked down. He tapped my husband's shirt. “Well…shit… I tried to fuck Katherine, and all I got was this lousy tshirt…is that how this going to end?” He just stared at me. I wouldn’t answer him. “I don’t think so. You’re going to change your mind.” He turned and walked out of the door, slamming it behind him.
After he left, I locked all of the doors and called my mother. I told her what happened and not to take Casey to daycare. I told her that I would be able to pick her up in just a little bit. I called all my friends and let them know what happened. I basically wanted to hear other people tell me that Stephen was nuts and in the event that something happened to me, I wanted people to know where to look first.
I ripped all of Casey’s drawings off of the fridge and crumpled them up and threw them away.
I walked back upstairs to get dressed and I noticed other things.
I had only kept a few clothes that belonged to my husband and some of them were missing. I had a small jewelry box on the bathroom counter, and most of the rings and necklaces that James had given me were also missing. I walked through the house and began to notice random little things were missing here and there and the only thing they all had in common were that they were gifts given to me by James.
-
Before I picked up Casey at my mother’s, I called the police to see if anything could be done, even though I was pretty sure that I knew the answer. Other than being a creep and a thief, Stephen actually hadn’t done anything. There was nothing the police could do.
I took Casey to the park to explain to her why Stephen wouldn’t be around anymore. Feivel was sitting next to her in the backseat. I started by asking her about her drawings.
“I didn’t change them.”
“Casey, honey, I saw them this morning. They’re changed. You changed the way daddy looks.”
“But I didn’t mommy. I wouldn’t do that. Maybe Stephen did it.”
“You think Stephen took your crayons and changed your drawings?”
“Maybe. He thought he was going to be my new daddy anyway, so maybe he thought it was a good idea.”
“Wait. Who said he was going to be your new daddy?”
“He did. He said it lots.”
When we got to the park, I made sure Casey stayed right next to me. We started throwing the frisbee down by the river so Feivel could play in the water if he wanted. I asked her some more questions about Stephen and anything else he might have said to her. It didn’t sound like he had said much more.
We were about to leave when Casey started waving at something.
“Look Mommy, it’s Stephen!”
He was standing on the other side of the river, and he was waving back to us. He was wearing a button up shirt and a pair of jeans that both belonged to my husband. He was smiling at me.
“Mommy?”
“Yes?”
“Are you mad at Stephen or something?”
“Yes honey. I don’t think we’re going to be talking to Stephen anymore. I think he needs to go away.” I reached down and scooped up my daughter and began to walk back toward our car.
“We’re going home. Come on Feivel! Feivel?” My dog had been staring at Stephen and he still hadn’t moved. “Feivel, come!”
Stephen whistled and that was enough for Feivel. He jumped into the river and began swimming toward the other side. I called after him over and over, but he eventually made it to the other side and ran over to Stephen. He gave me one last wave before he reached down and clipped a leash onto Feivel’s collar. He turned around and started to walk away.
I ran back to the car and put Casey in her car seat as fast as I could and I drove to the parking lot on the other side of the river, but by the time I got there, he was gone with our dog.
-
I filled out a report with the police and tried to get a restraining order.
“Ok, so here’s the problem. You said his name was Stephen Tasavo?”
“That’s right.”
“Ok look. This is not going to make you feel any better, but this man doesn’t exist.”
“What?!”
“He gave you a false name, Miss. Couldn’t find anybody by that name fitting his description. You got him on social media anywhere? Does he have any friends?”
“I…I don’t know. I don’t have any of that crap. Social media I mean. I guess I just…never asked him about any of it. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months.”
“Well, from the pictures you took on your phone, we know what he looks like. We’re going to keep an eye out for him, whoever he is. I suggest you keep your doors locked and inform the people at your daughter’s school. If there’s anywhere else you can go, I don’t think that would be a bad idea.”
I went home that night anyway. Casey was a mess after Stephen took Feivel and I thought that it would be a mistake if I didn’t give her some sense of normalcy. I had four friends stay with me that night.
-
A month later I got a call from a number that I didn’t recognize.
“Hello?”
“Don’t hang up the phone Katherine. Feivel really wants to hear your voice.”
“You sick fuck! Give me back my dog!” He was quiet for a moment.
“I've got you on speaker and you’re saying nasty things like that. He can hear everything you’re saying. Can’t you?! Can’t you?! Who’s a bugaboo doggie?! Who’s da doggie?!”
“Stephen…I’ll do whatever you want…please just give him back to me.”
“Come on Katherine. I know you know that’s not my name.”
“What is your name?”
“You know, I thought I had to become someone else to be with you. But I don’t think so. I’m going to like you getting to know the real me.”
“Please just give me my dog.”
“I’m going to make you see that it was destiny that your husband died. I’m going to make you see that his death was what it took to bring us together.”
“You son of a bitch!”
“Anyway, I’ll see you soon.” He hung up the phone.
I called the police, and after that night, I didn’t hear anything from Stephen for two months. Two months of looking over my shoulder. Two months of waiting.
I bought a gun. I kept it in the drawer of my bedside table. I wasn’t taking any chances.
-
I woke up with a start in the middle of the night and I heard the sound of muffled whining. I sat up in bed and looked around my bedroom before I grabbed the gun and got up. I walked to my window and noticed that it was slightly open. I looked down into the backyard.
Smoke was pouring out from underneath the closed lid on the grill. It looked like something was tied around the handles in order to keep it shut. I ran downstairs to the patio door. I opened it and held the gun in front of me. The smell of something burning was making me sick to my stomach. Something was crying out inside of the grill, frantically trying to get out. My heart sank as I realized that it was Feivel’s collar tied around the handle.
I screamed and grabbed the hose and turned it on. I lunged for the lid of the grill and I burned my hands as I tore away the collar from the handles.
I threw the top to the grill open and sprayed the hose inside. Feivel leapt out of the grill and down onto the brick patio. I soaked him with the hose. A belt had been tied around his muzzle. I ripped it off of his face and kept the water on him.
I turned to look back at the house. I didn’t want to leave him, but I realized that I had left my phone upstairs. I opened my mouth to scream for help, but then I had a hard time making any sound when I saw what was on the patio table. There was a bottle of whiskey on it with two glasses that had already been poured. There was a note on the table.
“It’s Friday Night! Time to BBQ!”
There was also something else on the table. A small fake rock. James and I had always kept it hidden amongst the other rocks in the backyard.It had a small compartment on the underside where we kept a spare key to our house. Stephen was in our house.
I looked back down to Feivel. I was left with the awful decision of having to leave my dog. He was gasping for air, but he was still alive. I had to get to Casey to make sure she was safe.
“Feivel, I’m sorry!” I left the hose laying across him and I ran back inside.
As I ran up the stairs, I saw that Casey’s door was closed and as I reached out for the knob, I heard a familiar noise coming from my room. The sound of a rocking chair. I cracked open Casey’s door and I could see that she was still asleep in her bed.
“Kaaaatheriiiiine…”
I closed the door and held the gun in front of me as I walked into my room.
The man I knew as Stephen was rocking in my husband's chair, wearing my husband’s clothes, and holding a house key that only myself and my husband knew about.
“I’ve missed you so much.” I raised the gun without saying a word. My hand was shaking. He was smiling and rocking back and forth. “You’re not going to shoot me.”
“Goodbye Stephen.” I pulled the trigger and nothing happened but a dry snap. I pulled the trigger again, but nothing happened.
“If you held that thing more often, you could probably tell that it’s just a little heavier when it has bullets in it.”
I lunged for my bedside table and pulled the drawer open. The small box of bullets was gone.
“I unloaded it while you were asleep.” He stood up. I ran for Casey’s door, but he caught me before I could open it. I felt his hand go over my mouth and he picked me up by my shoulders. I struggled as he carried me closer to the top of the stairs.
“I’ve watched you sleep for so many nights now, just wondering how I could get you back. But I think there might not be any saving of what we had.” He hit me across the face and threw me down the stairs.
I heard my ankles snap when I hit the floor, and I screamed. His footsteps were quiet as he started walking down the stairs.
“We could have had a life together. I really wanted that. I even put something on the grill, but then you went and ruined that too.”
“Mommy?!” Casey had run out of her bedroom and was at the top of the stairs looking down on us. Stephen was just a few steps away from me. I started to crawl along the floor toward the kitchen.
“Go back to your room Casey. You’re mother and I are fighting.”
“Casey! Get Mommy’s phone and call for help!” I screamed, as I pulled myself along the floor and into the kitchen. All I could think of was getting to the block of knives.
“Where do you think you're going off to? Wait, I know…”
Stephen ran around me and to the kitchen counter. He picked up the block of knives and spilled them on the floor. “Come and get ‘em Katherine.”
He walked back over and stood over me while I crawled toward the knives. He was laughing.
“To think, if someone hadn’t killed your husband, none of this would have happened.”
I tried to shut his voice out of my head as I crawled forward. I was getting closer.
“You know the person who hit him did actually stop for a moment…just a moment…he opened his car door and almost ran over to help, but then something stopped him. Did you know that?”
He’s lying Kathering. Keep moving.
“I was there. If I close my eyes, I can still see the whole thing. If that guy had helped instead of just driving away, maybe James would have survived and what I’ve had with you and Casey… all that would never have been.”
I was right in front of the pile of knives. I reached out and then he stomped on my hand. I felt bones break. He leaned down, grabbed me, and turned me over to look at him. He was crying.
“I still think it was destiny that brought us together, but I was wrong about you. You don’t have any place in our family. Me and Casey. I’m going to take her far away from here. She’s mine now.” Tears were pouring out of his eyes and he was trying to blink them away, but the tears wouldn’t stop.
“Son of a bitch! Stop it! Stop it!” He rubbed at his eyes with one hand. “She’s mine now!”
I brought my knee up as hard as I could between his legs and he dropped me to the floor. He fell to his knees right next to me. I could hear sirens outside.
I reached out and grabbed the largest knife. I raised it over my head, but before I could swing it down, he grabbed my wrist and started to squeeze. I felt my grip start to loosen and I was afraid that I was going to drop the knife. He started to laugh as the sirens were getting closer.
“Looks like it’s time we get things over with.”
I felt his body slam against mine, and at first I had no idea what had happened, but then Stephen began to scream and I could hear Feivel growling behind him.
Feivel had managed to fit his jaws around the back of Stephen’s neck and buried his teeth to the gums. He was pulling Stephen away from me; blood poured down either side of his throat.
I tightened my grip on the knife and I pushed it into Stephen’s stomach over and over and over again. Feivel eventually let go of Stephen, and as I continued to plunge the knife into the mushy mess I had made, my dog limped over and started to whimper.
As Stephen lay there gasping for breath, I stared at his eyes. They were staring back at me and he was no longer weeping. I felt crazy, but his eyes looked kind. They looked happy.
-
“How are you feeling now?” I remember the detective had this perfect voice. A Paul Winfield voice. Had the things he was about to tell me weren’t so terrible, I would probably only remember how beautiful that voice was.
“I can’t walk, but they’ve got me so drugged up that I don’t mind very much. I’m going to be able to go home tomorrow. Or…to my mother’s at least.”
“How’s your daughter doing?”
“She’s good. She’s staying with my mother.”
“I hear that hero dog is going to pull through.”
I smiled. Tears started coming up thinking of Feivel sitting somewhere without me while he was going through all this.
“He’s not going to be a hundred percent, but he’s going to have a good life. He deserves it.”
“Ok. Now for the unpleasant stuff. We finally got some answers on who this guy is. Was, excuse me. His name is Joshua Linder. He’s been keeping a small apartment only a mile away from your house for the last three years. It looks like he’s been watching you the whole time. All kinds of things all over his apartment.”
“Did he kill James?”
“No. He couldn't have. Up until three years ago he lived across the country from you. Even then, there was no way he was driving the car that killed your husband. He was legally blind.”
“What?”
“Not completely blind, but may as well have been. That is his connection to you, and to your late husband I’m afraid.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You said he knew things he shouldn’t have right?”
“Yes.”
“Where the spare key was, um… certain things you shared with your late husband, correct?”
“That’s right.”
“Katherine, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. You are aware that your husband was an organ donor, were you not?”
“Yeah.”
“It seems that uh… Mr. Linder was the recipient of your husband’s corneas after your husband passed. Now how he found out about you, we have no idea. There’s some kind of phenomenon that’s called cellular memory that frankly I think is…”
He kept talking, but the only thing on my mind were Stephen’s eyes.
-
My little family of three moved far away from home. We now have a house next to my husband’s parents where Casey can get to know her father’s parents and Feivel can go on walks with me while I pull him in his wagon when he gets too tired. I try not to think too much of what happened, but I still have trouble sleeping.

Hey all, first time posting on here. Sorry it’s a bit long.
Last spring, I started dating a girl who was an exchange student from Japan. We had an amazing 9 months together in person before she went back to Japan last December. We were able to open up to each other like never before, and time flew when I was with her. It felt so natural. We mutually saw a future together and our love was deep. We made about as many memories as possible within 9 months. I graduated in December and secured a teaching job in Japan (always planned on this) and I will be departing next month.
Long distance was even more difficult than we expected, especially with different time zones. I was also going through a strange time in my life, moving back in with my parents after college and not having much of a community. I felt lonely and depressed for a while and lost myself. I felt like I was just waiting around for the next step in waiting on the visa process and working a boring job at home. I told her about this and she said she would love and support me through the hard times no matter what. We video called a few times but didn’t have much to talk about since we were both just going to work and chilling at home home without much else going on in our lives. It was difficult to transition from living 5 minutes away from each other and being able to see each other anytime without much of a texting relationship.
I made a big mistake when she went on a trip to Hawaii with her family. Even though she always tried to cheer me up and I should have known how much she loved and cared about me, in a moment of weakness, I texted her during her family trip about how sad and lonely I was. She replied with a simple “I hope you feel better”. And I asked why she didn’t try harder to make me feel better. I regret this immensely and can’t explain why I would have done this. The next day, I thought she was ignoring me when she left my messages on read all day. She was actually on an international flight home and I didn’t know about it. When she got home, she wanted to talk. I profusely apologized and deeply regret putting that sort of pressure on her and getting in the way of family time. We almost broke up but she decided to give me another chance. She said in that moment, she could only see that bad part of me. She apologized and said that since there are still so many parts of me that she loves, she didn’t want to let this go.
However, we didn’t really talk about the specifics of what happened enough. I asked her what needs to change and she said she didn’t want to nitpick. The week that followed was a little bit awkward and distant. I said some dumb stuff like “I’m having trouble trusting that you still love me”.
A week later, I noticed she archived an instagram post with me in it and followed some random dude from a language exchange app she had talked about using recently. I brought it up over text and not in a very careful way. She understood my concern and it was truly a misunderstanding as she was just reorganizing her instagram. She put the post back up. We called later and she said she wasn’t feeling confident about our relationship. She still was having trouble forgetting the “bad parts” of me from before. She also stepped away from the call for a while to talk to her parents. She came back and said her decision was final and ended things. Still, she seemed very conflicted and cried more than I did. She said she never loved someone like me and had the best year of her life with me.
We called a week later and talked some more. I read her a letter I wrote about how much our relationship meant to me and tried to be specific in apologizing for what I did wrong. She cried and I could see her second guessing when I asked for another chance. She said no as things are, noting that we just aren’t good at long distance and not wanting to continue right now with unsure feelings. She couldn’t deny that she still had feelings.
Then, we tried being friends right away. Big mistake. I should have taken the time to cool off. I got her to agree to another video chat a week later and said it would be casual with no emotional talk. We were able to talk naturally for 3 hours. She agreed to see me in Japan. in the end I couldn’t resist asking if she could see us trying in Japan again. Big change in tone, she was noticeably choked up and bothered by this and said she doesn’t know and can’t think about that right now. She was upset because I said we wouldn’t talk about anything related to what happened, but agreed to call me next week.
We talked again for hours and it was fine until I fucked up and talked a lot about past memories and about the breakup again. I was still confused and looking for closure. She got mad and said she couldn’t keep video chatting with me and trying the friends thing with these feelings. She could sense my love and care despite me agreeing to friends with no pressure or expectations and said it was too heavy for her right now. She reaffirmed that she needs time apart and said there’s no point in this breakup if nothing changes. She said she can’t promise that she will see me in Japan now.
I messaged a mutual friend and got some additional information about how she was worried about clinginess and not being able to spend as much time together in Japan with school, work, family, friends compared to when we lived 5 minutes from each other. I think during our fight I gave the impression that I would get in the way of other aspects of life. Long distance, we both showed a little bit of clinginess about long reply times due to time difference. When we were in person, we put school first and had plenty of time with family and friends while supporting and encouraging each other and spent weekends together. We didn’t really text much outside of I love yous and making plans to hang out in person.
I basically did everything you shouldn’t do after a breakup and was clearly trying hard to hold on to what we had before, so I understand her feelings. Now, I am full force focusing on myself and although our text conversation is still open and we still follow each other on everything and look at each other’s stories almost immediately, I am trying a month of no contact. I wish I did it from the get-go. I will continue going to the gym every day and reflecting, not for her but for me.
Still, I can’t help but hope I can get a fresh start with her. We fell apart during long distance and I did fuck up but we mutually feel that we had the most amazing time together in person. Breakups happen for a reason and I have never thought about trying again with someone but I truly feel like she’s special. I am planning on texting her after I get to Japan and seeing if she is open to dinner. Looking for any advice or reads on the situation.
TLDR; This was my first attempt at long distance with a girl I had an amazing 9 months with in person. I was going through personal issues, we had fights for the first time, and I feel there was a lot of misunderstandings and communication failures. I am wondering about trying again in the future after a month of no contact, working on myself, and closing the distance.

My friend sacrificed on day 1 and will have over 300 million pulsechain coins. I was going to spend 20k on buying pulsechain when it's released anyways. (We are both extremely knowledgeable on Hex, pulsechain/X). He offered me 15 million pulsechain for 20k when it's released so I won't have to be in the battle. Would you guys go for it or not? After calculation, it sounds like a great deal but no one will know the price at opening.

Tez2, a reputable Rockstar insider has suggested on the GTA Forums that GTA 6 is likely to be released this year with a tentative release date of 2024.
According to my own reports which date back to June 2021, this seems to be the case. My sources have said that Grand Theft Auto 6 has been aiming for a 2024 release date for some time, but speculation and past reveal/release schedules of the likes of GTA 5 and Red Dead Redemption 2 suggest the game will be delayed until 2025.
If I were to guess – I believe the game would release in the holiday of 2025 instead of the spring.
As for when the announcement is made is unclear, but typically Rockstar Games likes to announce its big reveals on its own. So to set expectations, I wouldn’t necessarily expect the game to be announced at E3. Instead, I expect some form of reveal trailer in Q4 2023 to coincide with past reveals.
According to my own sources, one of the major reasons for such a long-winded “delay” is that GTA 6 will release on current-generation consoles only. With the tentative 2024 date being planned as far back as 2021, it was a means of ensuring that GTA 6 would have a sufficient console market to release on.
In late 2022, Rockstar Games had a security breach that resulted in over 70 videos on GTA 6 gameplay surfacing online. In its subsequent earnings call, Take-Two Interactive addressed investors to state that the leak was unfortunate, but they believe it had no impact on development.
“There’s no evidence that any material assets were taken, which is a good thing, and certainly the leak won’t have any influence on development or anything of the sort, but it is terribly disappointing and causes us to be ever more vigilant on matters relating to cybersecurity”, it was said.
As for GTA 6, for now, we’ll need to continue sitting tight and see what gets announced in the hopefully near future.
When do you think GTA 6 will be announced?
For more from Insider Gaming, check out details on THE FINALS BETA that starts today.
Related

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for the NOP world.
I hope everyone enjoyed the first foray into Venlil education of our home’s biodiversity. There were a lot of guesses for what I was describing and many of them were right on the money. I’ll be revealing some of them as the story progresses.
Other comments made me realise that I’ve never actually described our primary narrator Rysel, which I intend to remedy. I was going to do this anyway but here, a bit earlier than expected, is the second POV in this story. Hope you enjoy.
[First] [Previous]
Memory transcription subject: Dr Bernard MacEwan, Professor of Zoology
Date [standardised human time]: 21st August 2136
To say I was happy would be a gross understatement. Ecstatic, delighted, joyous and thrilled were far superior adjectives to portray just how incredible this moment of my life was, yet even they felt lacking. Right now, in front of my very eyes, a room full of aliens were taking in their first sights of the biodiverse bounty of Earth. I thanked my lucky stars that out of everyone who could’ve been picked for this project, it was I who had the immense privilege of observing the dazzling parade of emotions that accompanied the Venlil’s first impressions.
Turning my head, steadily so as not to spook anyone, I cast my eyes across the room. Unlike many lecture halls I’d been in, the undersides of the desks were not obscured by typical wooden or plastic panelling. Instead, the underside was completely open, giving me an unrestricted view of the Venlil’s legs, feet, and tail as they sat behind the desks. This made perfect sense. While humans were primarily emotive through our facial features and hand gestures, the Venlil seemed to use their tails and ears as their main method of expressing outward emotion. The lack of obstruction was ideal in aiding my observations as the exercise progressed.
One Venlil’s tail swayed low and slow, their head cocked to one side as their ears flicked back and forth at opposing angles. The tail and ear movements were too alien to me to discern meaning from them, but the cocked head rang familiar tones. Perhaps it could be confusion? This body language, coupled with a slightly slack jawed facial expression, indicated that I may be on the right track. Marvellous!
Another reaction from an audience member at the back felt far easier to identify, fear I believe. Their ears were pinned back across their head, their tail frozen stiff behind them. Similar to humans, their eyes were open wide in apparent shock and a slight tremor seemed to be permeating through their body. I considered intervening but swatted down the idea in the same instant. If they’re that scared of a picture, then a human walking right up to them in a moment of shock will likely cause more problems than it will fix. Thankfully a fellow volunteer, sat beside the immobile Venlil, noticed the predicament, quickly tapping the offending image away from the pad and bringing their tail up to in the process, rubbing it gently across their scared compatriots back. Together, these actions appeared to help the statuesque Venlil as they began to loosen up, tail swishing at an even pace, ears returning to an upright position. The shaking remained sadly but at least they were active again.
How it occurred was unfortunate, but it was fascinating to see how the Venlil reacted both to stressful stimuli and how they comforted one another in times of distress. Incredible!
Who is next, ah yes that one, I recognise them. The first of the class to ask me a question. They seemed a bit smaller than the rest of the Venlil in the room. Younger perhaps, or maybe older who knows? That’s the point of all this I suppose.
If I was to hazard a guess, I would say they are, calm or perhaps bored? The tail isn’t moving but it’s relaxed not stiff like the last one. Their ears are moving too but in a sluggish fashion, flopping lazily from side to side. They’re also resting their head in one hand as they flick through the images with their free hand, paw I should say. Yep, they’re bored. Disappointing I suppose but then again, I can’t expect everyone to be so emotive, oh now wait a second… there we go, saw something that gave you a bit of a startle I imagine, given how you almost knocked yourself off your seat. I smirked, trying to muffle any noise I might be making. I certainly did not relish any fear that may be caused in this exercise, but it never failed to amuse me back home when a student who wasn’t paying attention got a bit of a shock back to reality. Still, I shouldn’t find amusement in this, it’s no wonder that the Venlil were so skittish around even pictures, given what all of humanity had learned in the last month.
----
When the news came back that the Odyssey had not only encountered life but had made first contact with a fully sapient space faring species known as the Venlil, well, to say the reaction was overwhelming would be like comparing a wax candle to the sun. Within minutes of the news breaking, I had become simultaneously glued to my television, displaying livestreams from news stations as information flowed in. Additionally, I was logged into a video call with a dozen of my colleagues from all over the world. The news immediately ignited frantic discussion on what type of life may exist on alien planets.
Questions ranged from what you would expect from a chat room full of zoologist, to others that would’ve been completely farcical before these world rocking events. My favourites in those categories had ended up being, “Do you think they’ll have parallels to Earth in terms of biodiversity?” and the other, “Could their evolutionary tree be similar yet almost opposite to ours? Like, maybe they have whales too but instead of swimming under the great pressures of the oceans they are instead as light as birds, sailing through the skies?”. The reason the first question was my favourite was clear. The concept of how much new life was out there in the stars had never been far away from my mind. In our early days of space exploration, we’d learned that Mars might once have had liquid water that theoretically contained life and the moon of Europa could also have been home to microbial organisms, hidden within its frozen surface. Now to discover that there were entire worlds that supported complex alien life!? The possibilities were exquisitely endless, only matched by imagination itself. The second question was appreciated for that exact reason. Endless possibilities meant exactly that. Perhaps there really were whales drifting gracefully through alien skies, their bones and flesh made of materials so light that air itself was dense enough for them to “swim” through. An astonishingly silly yet wonderful concept that in the moment seemed all that closer… then a soberingly awful reality was forced upon us.
They were terrified of us. The Venlil, along with the rest of their hundred’s strong alliance of advanced alien civilisations, were horrified by our very existence. They were so scared at the arrival of just two of our astronaut’s that their government rushed billions into bomb shelters, sending out a distress signal for military aid to protect them from the awful harm they believed we intended to inflict. The reason that drove them to act this way was just as shocking as the actions themselves. The Venlil, and the Federation they were part of, were comprised completely of obligate herbivores. In their eyes we were a predatory species, our binocular vision, canine teeth, and ability to consume meat were all indicators to that effect. A violent horde of carnivorous, destructive entities that could only draw delight and meaning from the cruelty of inflicting pain upon all in our path, that was what they saw in us.
How could they think this way!? What could possibly have happened in their combined histories that led hundreds of alien species to perceive us as an existential threat simply because of those traits? First of all, it was simply not the case that all creatures with forward facing vision were automatically predators or even carnivorous for that matter! Right off the top of my head, various species of Megabat had been identified with eyes positioned towards the front of their heads. Due to the composition of their diet, many were considered frugivores or even nectarivores. Furthermore, there were countless examples of meat eaters that had eyes on the side of their head. Reptiles like Grass Snakes, Leopard Geckos and the Komodo Dragons were ideal examples of obligate carnivores with eyes on the side of their skull. Many birds possessed this trait as well, ranging from the miniscule and omnivorous Bee Hummingbird of the Cuban archipelago, that subsisted on nectar and insects, to the Emperor Penguins of Antarctica that preyed upon fish, crustaceans, and cephalopods, and were themselves preyed on by Leopard Seals and Orcas, two more predators with eyes on the side of their head. Finally, canine teeth in humans served only to tear food into smaller pieces, all food not just meat, and it wasn’t just carnivores that had them either. Hippos were a perfect example of an herbivore species with enormous twenty-inch canines that continuously grew throughout their life cycle, never mind the fact that they were notoriously dangerous, being extremely territorial and aggressive if they perceived intrusion or danger.
My mind spun with this paradoxical stream of information. How could civilisations so advanced have such a simplistic, almost naïve way, of identifying whether a living being was a danger to them? And how could they be so horrified by the concept of creatures being carnivores or even omnivores like us? By their own explanation, every species in the Federation were obligate herbivores who coexisted in a near utopian peace amongst one another, but to them we were the complete antithesis of that way of life simply because of our eye position and diet. Surely life amongst the stars could not be so different to Earths that it all fit neatly into that fixed binary of plant eater means peaceful and meat eater means death!? It just didn’t make any sense!
The horrifying ramifications of what that could mean for Earth, should aliens arrive and see how our ecosystems function, was not lost on those on the video call. We immediately dived back into discussion, revisiting the questions that had already sprung into my mind and many more. There had to be a logical reason for this mentality. Perhaps during the development of these societies they’d gone through extinction events or climate crises, just like Earth had throughout our ancient and modern history, tragically destroying habitats, and forcing species into extinction, leaving the rest to evolve rapidly and dangerously to fit the very predatory traits the Venlil had explained to us? It could also be that these alien worlds were very uniform in their environmental conditions. So much so that evolutionary specialisation that arose from differing habitats simply didn’t happen and led to a very narrow field of what a prey or predator species could look like? Possibly, depressingly, it might simply be the case that life on alien worlds really did fit into this binary system and Earth was just an incredibly rare anomaly of extreme biodiversity.
While several other ideas were floated during our deliberation, only these three held any water in our opinions, though even they were quickly whittled down to the most likely scenario we could glean without more data. Hypothesis one required that all, or at least a majority, of Federation societies all went through the same circumstances of environmental catastrophe, evolution, and survival into the space age. This seemed extremely unlikely, given that the same scenario would’ve had to play out nearly identically across hundreds of planets at the hands of the Federation members, both before and after integration into their alliance. Number two didn’t hold much stock either. For it to be true, each world the Federation inhabited would have to be dominated by one single biome across the entire planet. Short of vast terraforming efforts we couldn’t see how something like that could form naturally.
From the limited information we had to hand, hypothesis three was the most compelling rationale to this abnormal predator prey binary. As bizarre as it sounded, it may be true that Earth was an anomaly. That the life present here was a product of environmental factors that just didn’t exist anywhere else, blessing this planet with an overflowing cornucopia of organisms so wonderful and randomly diverse that it made our world so magnificently unique even in an endless eternity of stars. With this thought, my disappointment gave way to a surprising surge of elation! If Earth was truly unique in its biodiversity, then perhaps we could share our knowledge with alien life! Sure, maybe they may have technology beyond our wildest dreams, but we could teach them too. Imagine it, the first sapient “predators” they had ever met and we completely flipped their understanding of nature. To explain to aliens from across the stars how ecosystems on Earth didn’t fit into a simple binary but were instead an intricate, exquisite web in which everything was linked in a glorious, yet fragile, cycle of life.
How amazing would that be, to be able to contribute to this interstellar community, not as the new primitives just breaking the bonds of their home system, but as equals with our own wealth of knowledge and points of view to share. The idea was so magical I came close to leaping from my seat into dance!
…A shocked gasp from one of my colleagues drew me out of fantasy, focusing my attention back to harsh reality. Through the video call I noticed they were staring at their phone, eyes watering as their face contorted in appalled horror. Realising they must have seen something in the news I nearly dived over my desk to retrieve the remote to unmute my television, having silenced it during discussions. What could they have seen to repulse them so severely? It took seconds for me to unmute the TV to hear the news presenter, though it felt like time stood still. The TV finally audible, I listened intently to the most recent reports. As I listened, my hopes and dreams were shattered into pieces. We were not the first sapient predators to have encountered the Federation.
The Arxur. Sapient reptilians had engaged the Federation in a centuries long campaign of genocidal raids, ending the lives of unknowable billions, reducing worlds to ashes and glass, wiping out dozens of civilisations in the process. Incredibly, horrendously, that was only the surface layer of their true malevolence. From hellish malice that could only dwell in the minds of the most deranged sociopaths, the Arxur raids not only slaughtered their targets with impunity but seized anyone they could find, not to use as slaves or bargaining chips against the Federation, but as food! Adults, children, the elderly, anyone they could get their claws on was subjected to a nightmarish barbarity I could scarcely fathom, ending in the jaws and stomach of one of these monstrous beasts. No wonder the Venlil had been scarred to death of our astronauts. The traits they viewed as predatory were given new a light of comprehension. The Arxur fit those traits like a glove and tragically we shared a couple of those traits with them, binocular vision being the most distinct.
In a day of revelations about life in the galaxy, it was this that finally ran me into the ground, no longer having the motivation to function. Attempting to maintain a façade of some normalcy, I bid my friends good night, entering my bedroom where I collapsed into bed, neglecting to change into pyjamas or even remove my prosthetic…What did it matter anyway? In a single day the entire world had been flipped upside down. We’d been introduced to alien life, the long sought after confirmation that were not alone in this vast universe. We’d been crushed by the revelation that they fear us for existing, seeing us as monsters bent on cruel wanton destruction. Finally, to top it all off, we’d learned to our revulsion that there are genocidal lizards in the cosmos that consume other sapients as food… HOW COULD ANYONE PROCESS ALL THIS SHIT!!!
…Drained of all enthusiasm and energy, I lay staring at the ceiling. Intrusive thoughts ran rampant through my mind, reminding me of everything I’d learned, but thankfully none of them latched on as I zoned out in the darkness of my bedroom, eventually, blissfully, being overcome by sleep.
The next few days were a haze. I kept the news channels up on my television whenever I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t switched on enough to pay much attention, but I still didn’t want to miss anything. Several of my friends and colleagues reached out to chat and check up on me, worried that I hadn’t returned a number of calls in the immediate aftermath of my exit from the previous days video conference. I assured them that I was fine and that I just needed time to process everything we’d learned. In truth I was far from fine, the revelation that the universe was full of hostile life, seemingly separated along binary lines of predator and prey was a tough pill to swallow. The Arxur were most certainly the greater of two evils, but it wasn’t a superb feeling to know that everyone else in the galaxy was terrified of us due to our appearance and diet, willing to call war fleets in distress at our arrival. The weight of reality felt like it would snap me in two. Suddenly, an unexpected lifeline was tossed my way.
As I meandered throughout my house in a daze, I happened to pass the television at the most fortuitous of moments. A presenter was interviewing a UN representative and they were discussing plans for an exchange programme between the Venlil and ourselves. How could this be? I thought they were too scared to deal with two humans, much less interact with more of us? Watching with intense curiosity I learned that the UN had built quite the rapport with Governor Tarva of the Venlil Republic, thanks in no small part to the great efforts undertaken by the astronauts Sara and Noah, and they had agreed to start pairing up Humans and Venlil through a messaging service, with the aim to eventually introduce them in person.
This was amazing! A ray of light that I desperately needed after these forlorn days. Here was a chance, tentative though it may be, that we could prove to the galaxy that we came in peace and were nothing like the monstrous Arxur. I knew what I had to do.
With new life breathed into me I got to work. Booting up my computer, I looked up the requirements to apply. Simple enough really, provide your name, age, occupation, yada yada, answer a set array of questions, blah, blah, blah, write or record a brief reason for interest, standard fare all in all, none of which took long to complete. My reason for joining was brief and straightforward.
“The Venlil fear us as they perceive our appearance and diet as evidence that we are predators like the Arxur. From what we’ve learned of this reptilian species, the Venlil’s fright is understandable. However, Earth proves that the line between predator and prey is not so simple. I believe that as a Zoologist I can aid in educating the Venlil, teaching them that the traits they see as predatory are not so clear cut on Earth. In doing so, I believe that they can see us in a truer light, that Humans do not fit into their one size fits all predator prey belief. That we are much more complex and we want to share everything we are with them, in peaceful coexistence. It is my hope that through dialogue with a Venlil, I can do my part to make that dream a reality.”
Satisfied with my pitch I submitted my application, and began the arduous task of waiting for a response from government bureaucracy. Convinced it would take weeks to get any response, let alone an acceptance letter, I settled back into my normal rhythms, hopeful anticipation returning my zest for life that had been previously swept out from under me.
The next couple days held true to my expectations of governmental timescales, receiving an automated “Thank you for applying” message over twenty-four hours after my submission. Incredibly, only four days after my submission, I received the official response. The UN are clearly in overdrive to get this out so fast. With barely contained glee I read the email, only for my joy to fall into a deep well of disappointment. I hadn’t been accepted for the exchange of messages. Eye’s trailing away from the message, I could only sit and stare blankly, a profound sense of sadness resonating through me. Minutes passed as a I processed the upsetting news before I returned to the letter. I at least deserved to know was why I had been rejected!
Continuing through the letter, the weight of the rejection pressed upon me, but began to lift as I read the text in full, turning instead to confusion, realisation and then completely overwhelming me with the same sense of thrilling delight that had coursed through me when I’d first envisioned teaching aliens about Earth and all its majestic wildlife. The UN didn’t just want me to chat with one Venlil, they wanted me to teach an entire class of researchers and scientists. This was a dream come true!
This time I really did leap out of my seat, happiness lifting my old bones into an impromptu jig on the spot. I was going into space, to another planet, to meet an entirely new race of sapient beings! I had so much to do. Lesson plans, researcher to collate, decisions on which animals I should introduce them to and how I should introduce them. So much to do, but in this instant it seemed so far away as I continued my merry dance. So enthused was I, that I didn’t notice the coffee table in my path, ramming my left leg into the table, good thing it was the prosthetic. The floor quickly rose to meet me, connecting to my body with a heavy thud. A voice in the back of my head scolded my carelessness, “God dammit it Bernard, you’re seventy-four be more careful.” Though it was quickly drowned out by the ruckus of childlike wonder screaming at the forefront of my mind, “I’M GOING TO MEET ALIENS!!!”.
----
The memories that brought me here creased my face in a wide smile as I continued my observation of the couple dozen individuals before me. The confused Venlil seemed to have gained some confidence, making their way steadily but surely though the images displayed. Our scared stiff student had buddied up with the one that had comforted them, a light orange spreading across their face as they discussed the images with their new friend, curious. My previously bored audience member was now much more alert and attentive as they made their way through the exercise. They held the pad out from their body, as if whatever would appear on the screen could jump out at them. Not ideal, I’ll keep an eye on that, but at least they were now paying attention.
Eventually my eyes fell on the Venlil that had asked me if I was injured, and I beheld a truly remarkable sight. They sat near the dead centre of the room, their sleek coat almost entirely black besides a blotch of tan coloured wool on their chest, an additional small black patch at its centre. Their appearance reminded me of a Sun Bear, though I doubt they’d appreciate the comparison.
Their sparkling emerald eyes were wide open, not in shock or fear like the other Venlil, but seemingly in awe at the images before them. I still had much to learn about Venlil body language, but how could this be anything other than pure exhilarated delight? They were completely enraptured with the images on their pad, tail swishing behind them rapidly and ears flicking wildly. No matter what they pulled up next, each image seemed to only encourage more of this behaviour and, in watching, I felt immense satisfaction. This was why I was here, to show an alien race the wonders of Earth, and to see this joyous reaction in real time? Well, it was enough to bring a tear to my eyes. I’ll be sure to learn their name at the next opportunity, but for now I think I’ll keep watching.
As I continued to watch in silence, I once again thought back to the moment the exchange was announced, that momentary beacon of light that reignited my hopes for friendship and understanding with the greater universe. Perhaps here it was again, shining down from the Sun Bear looking Venlil before me. Chuckling softly to myself, making a mental note not to call them a Sun Bear, I released a breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding in, relaxing comfortably into my chair. I think this will work… Yeah, it’ll work.

Clan Link:
https://link.clashofclans.com/en?action=OpenClanProfile&tag=20LCU9YR9
We're a non-farming/relaxed/competitive clan based in the United States. But we do have others that are from different parts of the world & with different time zones. We are friendly & respectful all around. Our rules are simple & easy to follow. We all constantly donate & help each other out.
We are looking for players that would like to have a clan that's a home. We are a very active group during events but we are relaxed after; where you can just hop online & chat away if that's what you want to do.
We do Wars whenever there's enough players that want to be in them. When we War, we use that opportunity to try out new strategies, tactics for CWL... or to just get loot.
We do join CWL, an event that we do take seriously, this is where our clan shifts from relaxed to a more serious tone. So, if you join us for CWL then you obviously know what's expected of you if you join our clan. So, for those of you that don't understand what that means. We expect you to follow strategies, rules & orders to the letter. You're responsible for your attacks. We will hold you accountable if you miss an attack during this event. Like I said before "serious tone."
When it comes to Clan Games we always finish them as quickly as we possibly can. When we complete all tiers for Clan Games. We will tell the clan (those that haven't completed them) to try to complete them. You know, so they can get that bonus.
In Raids, everyone participates & can do as much as they can. We all work together & communicate with each other to see what needs upgrading first.
So, if you want a clan that's relaxed but competitive then check us out.
If there are questions then my COs, Elders or myself, will be able to answer them. Also, when you join, tell us if you are from Reddit. It will be nice to know if this is working for our clan, so we can continue to post on here.
Hopefully, that covers the basics. We do have our link if there's anything else. Thanks.