Crumbl cookie spoilers

Names changed for obvious reasons.
To preface this story, I (19f) am adopted by my biological mother’s brother and his ex-wife. They had already had two daughters Stephanie (13f) and Nova (11f) when I came along. They were quickly out of the house by the time I was 8. My father was gone out of state for months at a time, and my mom was getting her masters while I was growing up. I spent a lot of time either grounded for being a hyper kid or talking back. I quickly became a book nerd, and just an overall nerd.
My biological mother had five boys and one girl. I love my brothers to the moon and back, they were also adopted out so I ended up growing up without them.
Growing up I was pretty much alone, with the 10 1/2 year and 13 year age gap between me and my sisters. I spent a lot of time either head first in a book or writing. My biological family had told my adoptive mom that they would help her because she had adopted me into her family. Spoiler alert that didn’t happen. We’ll call them the Smiths, so the smith family consists of 4 kids not accounting my adoptive father and my biological mother.
The smith family treated me like I was one of them, until I was about 10. Due to some family issues I wasn’t able to keep in contact with them, and I lost the connection with them. The thing about the Smith family is that they will remove anyone who is different than their idolized person. As they did with my mom who suffered some brain damage at a young age causing her mental ability to be limited.
Anyway on to why I might be the asshole here. I recently graduated high school after failing all my classes and doing all of them my last year of high school while dealing with health issues. My youngest brother (28m) went to visit grandpa smith and his wife, just before I was to walk. He had asked them if they were coming to the event and they pretended I didn’t exist.
I choose to call them a few weeks after graduation, and ask them about this and grandpa smith said something along the lines of “Your just like your mother, except your mental and gay as well” Which resulted in me defending his daughter for half an hour before finally deciding to tell him to remove me from anything in his life. I don’t care anymore. Later I found out my aunts and uncles on the Smith side has decided I don’t exsist. So I went on Facebook like every one does and publicly told them to shove their family only matters if it fits into this cookie cutter mentality.
So AITA?

Hello, I made about 4 pounds of cookie dough and I baked some off and they never spread. The cookies are dry and crumbly. When making the dough I decided to play around and used the amount of half whole wheat flour and half AP flour. When I noticed the very overly dry dough I added some water to hydrate and everything seemed to be good. I only had salted butter on hand and was afraid to add too much and end up with salty chocolate chip cookies. I have an unfortunate amount of cookie dough and can’t throw it away…I used good chocolate :(
Is there any other to fix the dough? Or are they’re any other ideas to use the dough up? The cookies have a nice flavor but could use some more sugar

How do you guys and girls break a sugar addiction? I exercise 6 days a week but the scale isn’t budging and I know it’s cause of Crumble Cookie, candy etc. Everytime I try to go no sugar something tempts me and I go on a bender.

Not a Vegas fan at all, just a fan of a team who didn't repeat(rip). But, I am enjoying the fact that one of the strongest Eastern conference playoff lineups ever, can't beat their 8th seed. And now that 8th seed is getting dummied. All I was hearing this year was about how bad the West is. Which isn't all that different from most years. Special shout out to the 2018 Hart trophy decision. But this year felt especially full of bias. So that conference falling to pieces is making me chuckle.
And for the record I know there are a lot of detailed reasons and nuance for why the East played out the way it did. But, this is the way the cookie crumbled and I'm gonna enjoy it as much as I can.

[US to US] [Sell] [Perfume] $4 US shipping. Smoke free cat friendly home. No minimums. Will be shipped out within a week (usually Mon/closest weekday). I always include freebies, please let me know if you don’t want any. 1mLs ARE DECANTS IN ROLLER BALLS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED!
Alkemia FS, $10 each (dropper tops):
- Fumé Oud à la Vanille: Tonka, Woodsmoked amber, Bourbon vanilla, Oud
- La Flamme: Rare Spices Steeped in Root Tea, Incense Woods, and Oakmoss
Stereoplasm FS (mLs differ), $8 each:
- Almost a Year (4.5mL): snuffed perique tobacco, dirty wool, cemetery air, death cap, cereus and petrichor.
- FIRE (3mL): Heat, wide-eyes, smoke, power. Stars above, flames around, smoke like grey ink in the hot, black air of a summer night.
Alkemia Samples, $2 each:
- Bohémiens en Voyage: Tabac leaf, Orris Root, Fresh Hay, Amber, Skin Musk, Sugar Cane
Andromedas Curse Samples, $2 each:
- Gryphon: Golden cardamom mane and sandalwood-scented wings.
Area of Effect Samples, $2 each:
- Syndicate (Slink): OIL, PETRICHOR, STONE, LEATHER, GASOLINE, BENZOIN, DARK AMBER, FRANKINCENSE, GINGER, BERGAMOT, BLACK TEA
- Tenpenny Tower (Slink): LEATHER, BOURBON, DARK AMBER, BERGAMOT, TOBACCO, CACTUS BLOSSOM, BLACK PEPPER
BPAL samples, $2 each:
- Danse Macabre (slink): Black cypress with oakmoss, frankincense, oude, and a sliver of toasted hazelnut.
- Tavern of Hell (slink): White gardenia, ambergris bouquet, lavender fougere, orange blossom, melissa, tobacco flower, coriander, ebony wood, ylang ylang, absinthe and aged whiskey.
- Wicked (slink): rich myrrh and jasmine draped in the subtlest rose.
BunnyNoseScents samples, $2 each:
- Obliquity: Spanish moss, Himalayan cedar, black pepper, oakmoss, juniper, bamboo, and cardamom.
Deconstructing Eden 2.5mL samples, $2 each:
- Prince of Travels: Musk and leather, Tsingani spices, dusty tobacco and exotic woods.
Luvmilk 2mL Samples, $2 each:
- Kneady Kitten (at shoulder): Warm sweet bread, melting butter, a base of rich vanilla.
Nui Cobalt Samples, $2 each:
- Skeleton Key (Slink): spiced pipe tobacco, Haitian vetiver, tangerine, honeyed almond, liatrix, and High John the Conqueror root.
Possets Samples, $2 each:
- Zombie (Rev 1) (Slink): A big dose of toasted marshmallow and oude, a bit of burnt stick, and the unmistakable fragrance of the crisp autumn air.
1mL Decants available, $3 each:
- Alkemia, 2022 Arcanum Experiments 1: Marzipan frosted sugar cookies, Crème Brûlée pipe tobacco, Bourbon vanilla
- Alkemia, 2022 Rose Musk Alchemy: A sensual alchemy of pangender musks and fresh hothouse roses.
- Alkemia, Arcanum: Eastern Spices, Aged Patchouli, Sandalwood, Frankincense, Nag Champa, and Dragonsblood
- Alkemia, Book of Shadows: A biblichor of eldritch books - heavy parchment paper, ancient iron oak gall ink, crumbling leather bindings, and wafts of rare incenses.
- Alkemia, The Highwayman: An irresistible mix of gentleman and bad-boy. Riding leathers, dark night air, forest oakmoss scattered across an old dirt road, fine linen lace, a trace of campfire smoke, and a pinch of gunpowder.
- Alkemia, The De Ceylon (Tea) Layering Note
- BPAL, Artificer: Gleaming metal, gear oil, sparking wires, shattered glass, and a blue flicker of arcane power.
- BPAL, Shortbread Diamonds: Ruthlessly minimalist but dense with pleasure: a crumbly dough made with brown sugar and butter, rolled out and slashed into simple “diamond” shapes before baking.
- Death and Floral, Half-hoping to be eaten by a bear: Woody, sweet bare skin; the lingering scent of dry leaves on a cold morning
- Stereoplasm, La Mia Magia!: Velvet carpet, melting beeswax candles, dusty vials of dragon’s blood, gilded rosewood wooden mask, labdanum, crackling electricity, well-worn playing cards.
- Stereoplasm, Mourning Glory: Thick black velvet curtains, bruised Palmarosa leaves, Shanghai spice, wilted white carnations and bible leather
- Stereoplasm The Thirteenth Hour: Powdered henna, black chai tea, saffron, cauldron iron, bleached bone, a broken wax seal, a trapdoor hidden under dry hay

Why have happy wholesome headcanons when you can just create ones that make you sad 😎🤙🏻
I have some ones regarding Chuuya and the people in his life who have died since I see a lot of people making ones about Dazai regarding Odasaku [stormbringer spoilers???]
In Fifteen it’s shown that Rimbaud was burried at a cliffslide cemetery and given a crumbled worn down grave stone. But I headcanon that when Chuuya became an executive, he made them move Rimbaud over to a proper cemetery, the same one Odasaku’s grave is at
At least once a week he takes an evening to go visit the graves of all of his mafia friends who have died, including his friends from the Flags. He talks to them about how life is and what he’s been up to
And then afterwards, he sits at Rimbaud’s grave and lays down flowers on Verlaine’s behalf. He spends his time here venting about his grievances and drinks a bottle of wine, not leaving until he finishes it all

My dad is annoying. He doesn’t answer a question clearly and if he does, he gives a passive aggressive answer. Or it might be just annoying idk. Like I’ll ask if he wants some cookies, then he will be like “you know I like cookies”. Or whenever I’m cooking or have food, he always points something he wouldn’t do or talk about how fattening it is. Then whenever I have ANY type of reaction, (like literally a blink of an eye) he talks about how oversensitive I am and how I’m not going to make it in this world because he’s the most laidback person in the world, and if I can’t deal with him, I can’t deal with anyone and I’ll crumble so fast

I can't find the answer with Google. With a cookie crumble frappuccino it comes with cookie crumble as a standard topping but if I try to add them to the java chip, toasted cookie crumble is the only option. Are they the same?

Hi everyone! My daughters bday is coming up and she wants to bring a fun dessert for her class. She is really stuck on crumble cookies, but it would be over $100 if we did that 😭 So looking for cool and fun, but cheaper than crumble, dessert ideas for her class. She wants something that stands out, any suggestions would be much appreciated!

Disclaimer: Heavy Spoilers!! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE NEWEST SPIDER MAN FILM!
So I went to watch Spider-Man Across the Spider-Verse in opening night a few days ago and there’s something that’s been itching at my brain that I can’t get rid off and I need some fellow web heads to let me know if I’m just a varient of Pepe Silva talking crazy
So for those of you that have seen ATSV I assume most of you remember the scene in which Miguel starts explaining the multiverse and he brings up a visual that looks suspiciously similar to that of the “timeline” from the MCU.
Now Miguel talks about how important “canon events” are in the multiverse and he prefaced this by explain how he learned from his experience.
He explains that he first saw the consequences of a canon event when he replaced his dead self in another universe
Now this is where my gears really started turning. The entire scene is him talking about how all spider stories are linked by individual moments in their lives ie: uncle blank death, captain blank death, etc
My first question and probably a common one was what canon event did Miguel trigger? Was his daughter supposed to be a spider person and her being an orphan part of her “canon” cause that’s the only real reason I could think of? Then I thought about the other version of canon events causing universe “damage” we were shown like Spider-Man India
Now Spider-Man India is not as confusing but equally complicated. Apparently due to miles interrupting a “canon moment” SMI universe starts to decay. Now let’s give the blue panther the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s correct. That damage happened quickly. Like so quick that the difference in miles helping and the universe decaying is measured in seconds and not minutes or hours type quickly. If that’s the case then Gwen’s universe is absolutely F*****! With a capital F because if Gwen’s dad quit because he found out she was Spider-woman then that would destory a canon event and the moment that Gwen leaves to go help miles and assemble her “avengers” her dad and her universe are getting swallowed by black “holes”
Now let’s switch back and assume Miguel is full of it. Now originally I thought the reason indias universe was decaying was because the spot left remnants of his dots all over the building that crashed into the ground and just started spreading. Assuming that’s why his universe is decaying gave me a bit of a different idea.
What if Miguel is right but in the wrong way?
What I mean by that is I think Miguel is right about universes dying but wrong about the cause.
My theory is that Miguel discovered the same thing Dr strange of universe 838 did. Incursions.
Now here is how incursions are explained in Doctor strange in the Multiverse of madness:
Reed: “An incursion occurs when the boundary between two universes erodes and they collide, destroying one or both entirely.”
Reed: “Stephen, your arrival here confuses and destabilizes reality. The larger the footprint you leave behind, the greater the risk of an incursion.”
Essentially every universe “knows” who is and who isn’t from there. And this is a big no no when it comes to the laws of reality. The longer you stay in a universe that is not yours the more destabilized the universe becomes. This keeps happening all the way until the universe just starts to collapse and get sucked into a void or outright disintegrate
Now what does that sound like? When Miguel swaps places with his dead self he lives there for what I assume to be months or years then his universe starts to collapse.
Miguel: “And the harder I tried the more damage I did”
I don’t know about the rest of you but that sounds an awful lot like someone who stayed in a universe that wasn’t his and the more he stayed and the bigger the “footprint” he left the faster his world began to crumble especially when he brought other people from other universe to help him fix it
Now look at Spider-Man India? How many incursion threats were just flying around? Spot? Miles? Gwen? Hobie? On top of that spot left his multiversal holes eating a building ? From this pov it makes much more sense as to why his universe began to decay. A mixture of spot and people that shouldn’t be in that universe
Now admittedly this theory has some holes the first one being that miles universe doesn’t start crumbling even after multiple alternate universe people show up and stay there for days
It also doesn’t implode when kingpins collider is literally dragging entire buildings and bridges to that universe
But the biggest nail in this coffin is the fact that Miguel invites hundreds of people to his personal universe for at least a minimum of 6months (based on pavitrs testimony of when he got recruited) and I can’t think of one justifiable reason as to why hundreds of different people from alternate universes doesn’t cause an incursion in like 20 minutes
Anyway I’d love to hear you guys thoughts? Am I crazy ? Am I on the money? Did I miss something that completely debunks this entire thought process?

https://i.imgur.com/zlE3xR2.jpg
Flavors in the box, from top then left to right: Biscoff, fake chocolate chip aka raisin/oatmeal raisin?, Triple Berry, Confetti, Chocolate PB
I received this box of Crumbl cookies from a woman whose dog I found in my yard. It was delivered by her mother and brother, a week earlier they were pet sitting the woman’s dog who lives in the city. Pup got out and made it to my house, spotted him and did the whole nine when I got the sweet boy to come in my house. Eventually we get in touch with family, the woman is with her husband about to leave for a vacation. A woman (sister) and an older woman (mother) come to my house to take the dog back, we chat, the sister walks back and I drive the mother and pup back since they’re only a block and a half away (also they didn’t have a leash and this was a solid midsize dog lol). Very kind people.
Anyway the older woman and the dog got out right by their house and my partner and I were greeted by a sibling/son, everyone’s very nice, including him. We go on about our day.
This past Friday I see the brother and the mother wandering around my house to try to deliver these cookies to us as a thank you from the owner which was so nice. There was definitely nothing needed in return.
Anyway I’ve said I’ve never tried Crumbl before. I’ve only seen dozens and dozens of videos and pictures on TikTok and Instagram, very envious lol. I decided to get the app because I saw a location just opened up near me not too long ago! And I wanted to pinpoint the exact flavors.
So if you look at the photo provided, I was totally expecting the “chocolate chip” cookie to be… chocolate chip? I guess I didn’t look close enough because I tasted it and didn’t taste any chocolate, those were raisins. I only saw like chocolate chip, brownie batter, classic pink sugar, chocolate peanut butter, biscoff, triple berry, confetti, and mallow crème in the app. Now this is assuming they only sell what’s in their app which… seems like the case? I know they have a couple of staple flavors and mostly rotate specialty weekly flavors. I am a noob, I’ve never been, I’ve never seen the interior… this is also assuming they chose this location somewhat nearby us which could be weird. As I said, they live in the city, we’re not too far, the box has a very nice note from the dog’s mom. I don’t know if they picked up this box of six on the way to pick up their dog from the airport in the city or closer to us, gave it to the family to bring to my house or if the local family was asked to pick it up.
I ask these questions because I’m trying to figure out… what was the sixth cookie missing? I open the box and there’s five cookies. I got the app to check the flavor details, don’t see an option for five cookies, and a distinct cookie grease spot where there was a sixth lmao. Was it the classic pink sugar? Or was that too similar to the confetti cookie in terms of aesthetics and it was mallow crème? Was it the actual chocolate chip and not some raisin imposter that wasn’t on the menu? I’ve ruled out the brownie batter as there are no cookie crumbs dark enough to match that batter… the cookies were delivered by the woman’s brother (middle aged man) and their older mother. I definitely don’t think it was the mother. It could’ve been the two siblings who live with the mother split it up, but I really think it was the brother lol. And if they wanted to give a four-pack and have one themselves, why not do that? Obviously this was still really kind and very very appreciated. I would never just take care of someone’s lost dog for the idea of a reward.
I know this was a long post, I struggle to edit myself. I’m really curious about the faux chocolate chip cookie most importantly. I don’t know why I’m so fixated, just curious to see what others would say. Any input would be appreciated!

Hi, It took me a long time to be able to open up to more people about what I feel, and I believe I need it in my healing process. So here's my story, please, don't hate against me or against my mom. Excuse my english, I don't practice a lot.
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So, like I said, I (26F) don't like my mom (46F), neither love or hate, just a deep indifference towards her. For a little context, I'm a black woman, both of my parents are black, and my mother grew up in her native country in Africa. I was born there and moved to France after a few years.
Until I was 3 and a half years old, I didn't live with my mom. I was shuttled between my aunts/uncles and my father (62M when he died) who quickly returned me when I almost died because of him. She came to France (because of my father) and gave birth to my younger brother (23M) there (I arrived a year later). I didn't have a real affinity with her since then, but I still wanted to be with her constantly, not surprising for a young child, I suppose. For people who don't know what it's like to be a foreign black person in France (which applies to several other ethnicities as well), everyone back home sees life in Europe as an accomplishment, everyone thinks we are rich here, that we live well, etc., and a lot of family members demand money as if they had invented hot water, but the reality is quite different.
My mother worked every day when we lived in the asylum seekers' center, and that didn't change when she got a boyfriend and we moved in with him. So, I was a little girl, not even 4 years old, who had to take care of her 1-year-old brother. So, I became independent very quickly. At 4 years old, I would stand on a chair to do the dishes, I would wash my brother, cook for him, and so on. At 6 years old, I started cleaning with my mother (it was my decision, I asked for it). She would vacuum, and I would clean the bathroom and mop the entire apartment. The purpose of all these actions on my part was not only to relieve her of some responsibilities but also to try to spend time with her. I dreamed of having mother-daughter moments with her (spoiler alert: we never had them), and she eventually ingrained my voluntary desire to help her as an obligation that now fell on me. I couldn't detach myself from it at all; it became my daily task. I went from being a little girl who just wanted to be with her mother to being the maid (my younger brother only started doing housework when he was 14/15, and his task was to dust the TV and the furniture, nothing else; he would go back to playing Gameboy after that).
I developed eating disorders because of her (hyperphagia, a binge eating disorder). When I was little, I was anorexic. When I arrived in France, I gained weight, and I was healthy, but I had a bloated belly (a remnant of a period when I experienced extreme starvation). But from the age of 7, my mother put enormous pressure on me not to gain weight with statements like "if you're too fat, no man will want you," and so on. As a result, I was put on a forced diet from the age of 8. For breakfast, I had plain Special K cereal while my brother had Lion, Cookie Crisp, Frosties. I had pasta and ham for lunch while my brother had steak and fries. I had soup for dinner while my brother had pancakes or burgers. I wasn't fat; I was never overweight until I turned 17. In middle school, I was 170 cm (5,58") tall and weighed 77 kg (169,75 lbs). I was extremely active in sports (handball, basketball, dance, swimming, volleyball), so I mostly had a huge muscle mass. I had curves, a large chest, wide hips, an hourglass figure, and I wore size 36/38 (6/8 US for pants & 4/6 for shirts and all). But I always saw myself as a disguting fat ass in the mirror because I was taller than others, because I had broader shoulders than others, I was "like a man," not a real girl. As a result, I have never been in a romantic relationship (even today, I have never been in a relationship or anything else) because I have always had a poor image of myself. Unfortunately for me, the image I had of myself at just 10 years old is what I am today (I weigh 134kg or 295,42 lbs now, and I hate my body).
I was sexually assaulted for 2 years by one of my cousins in my bedroom. Since I had never had any conversations with my mother about any topic (if my best friend hadn't started her period in elementary school and if I hadn't had lessons about it in 5th grade, I would have never known that it was something normal that would happen to me one day), I didn't know what sex was concretely, I didn't know what it truly involved. I was 7 years old, he was 14, and he was my cousin, so maybe it was normal after all ? I endured it for 2 years and never told anyone except my best friend (who unconsciously protected me during that time). I went through a very difficult period in high school (bullying from teachers (yes, it's not always the students) and racism) that pushed me towards self-harm, running away, and suicide attempts because no one would hear me or even listen to me. not even my mom. for her I was just a troublemaker and a liar. ( I harmed myself in front of her, not intentionally, but she saw me, and the only thing I saw in her eyes was disgust. She didn't care about me.) I was depressed, I developed cyclothymic disorder (bipolarity), and I became aware that I had been raped by a member of my own family. I was at my lowest, but my relationship with my mother never deteriorated as much as during that time. She held me responsible for what was happening to me at school, she made me feel guilty for not being as strong as she was in the face of the racism I was experiencing. She made me feel guilty for defending myself against discrimination and harassment. She made me feel guilty for all those mornings when I woke up crying, begging her not to force me to go to school. (I eventually started skipping classes, deliberately arriving late to stay in the common area or taking the bus to the terminal across from my house and going to the next terminal. I spent days on the bus to avoid going to school.) And above all, she made me feel guilty for being dropped out of school and for "ruining my future." I felt like a piece of crap, like a failure. I thought I would go nowhere in life, and it never really got better after that.
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Here are some additional facts to add:
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• I have been depressed since high school and have been unable to hold a job for more than 4-5 months. So when I wasn't working, she would make me feel guilty for not being able to get out of bed just to wash myself or brush my teeth. (I took medication since 3 and a half years including Prozac, alprazolam, cyamemazine, bromazepam, and Laroxyl.)
• She has a tendency to humiliate me in front of our family and my friends, claiming that she is worried about me and that she "doesn't know what she did to deserve a daughter like me because I'm nothing like her."
• She has made me feel guilty my entire life for missing my father. She made me feel guilty for not going to his grave (he died and was buried in Africa, and I never had the means to go there; it wasn't my choice). I was never allowed to talk about him because she would constantly belittle him to make me feel even more guilty (he was a terrible person to her, he physically abused her in front of me when I was 3 years old, but when the only parental figure you have doesn't fulfill their role, it's hard not to hope for more from the other, even if they are absent and a bad person).
• I managed to tell her about what my cousin did to me when I was 19-20 years old. Her initial reaction didn't hurt me; she was in shock, I think, and I couldn't really expect more from her. But in the summer of 2018, after yet another argument in front of one of her cousins (who took my side and tried to explain to her that she clearly failed in her parenting with me), I told her word for word, "Do you realize that you were so absent from my life, that you never taught me to confide in you, that you never even asked me once if I was okay, if my day went well? You were so obsessed with yourself and your other children that you didn't even notice that I was being raped in the room right behind your TV. You saw nothing, you never noticed that I was suffering because you didn't give a damn, to the point that as a child, I didn't even have the instinct to seek refuge and cry in your arms?" And the only thing she replied was, "What do you want me to do about it? You should have told me earlier, now it's too late."

That day, I believe the anger of a teenager transformed into pure indifference. Because I had hoped for too long that she would change, because I had hoped for at least once that she would be a mother to me. I didn't ask to be born, I didn't ask to exist, and I'm aware that the way she tried to raise me was influenced by the upbringing she received. However, the differential treatment between my younger brother and me (if I wanted to do sports outside of school, it was a no, but paying €360 for my brother's basketball registration was okay; when we watched TV together, she would let my brother lie in her arms or behind her, giving him cuddles every evening, while I was lying on the floor, barely able to see the TV; letting my brother go out every afternoon to play with the kids in our neighborhood while I was not allowed to go out was considered normal; depriving me of food for various reasons while she made pancakes with my brother; buying him the latest pair of Jordans but refusing me €5 so that I could have lunch because I didn't have any more meal credits for the cafeteria—why not) proved to me that she was capable of giving love and attention, but perhaps just didn't want to give them to me.
So, I eventually completely detached myself from her when I came to understand that not all birth-givers are mothers, and not all mothers are birth-givers. In short, I raised myself. Today, I live alone 500km away from her. I call her occasionally to check on her, to have a little conversation, and sometimes she tells me she's proud of me for everything I've accomplished (I omitted a lot of details because it's already long enough), but it doesn't affect me anymore. It doesn't bring me any more joy than if a friend had said those words. I don't want to harbor hatred, neither towards her nor towards myself because I know she is not a bad person; she just happened to be a very bad mother to me. Throughout my adolescence, I swore that once I left her home, I would erase her from my life forever. But as I said, I'm no longer an angry teenager. I have grown up, I have learned to be self-sufficient, and I don't want to depend on anyone's love, not even my mother's. I know she genuinely loves me but never knew how to show it, unfortunately, it's not reciprocated, and I feel absolutely no guilt for that.
I am still not happy in my life. It took me six years to finally resume my studies and gain a certain level of independence. I have my own life, I study, I work, and I have my two cats. It's another step towards healing for me. And being proud of myself is much more important than her pride in me.
So, that's why I don't love my mom. I know It's really long and I'm sorry for that's.

Release Date: May 2nd, 2023
Author: Rosie Best
Blurb:

Echo, a water buffalo, is chosen by the Great Spirit to lead after a horrific accident—but can’t command the respect of any of his herd. Stride the cheetah is keeping secrets from his coalition that could get him killed for disloyalty.
And Tailgrabber, a young hyena, is desperate to find peace between her clan and the lions of Noblepride—even though it marks a betrayal of the hyenas’ longstanding allegiance to the Great Devourer.
As the structures that once guided their lives begin to crumble, can each of these three unlikely allies hold their own against the coming storm?

Link to the sample.
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There's no need for the spoiler tags here.

If you want to experiment in the kitchen, bring out your favorite cookies. Cookies are fantastic additions to a variety of recipes. Add a dark cacao cookie to a fruit kabob, mix chocolate chip coconut cookies into a vegan ice cream, or sprinkle some cookie crumbles over your oatmeal. The opportunities for sweet and delicious recipes with delicious cookies are endless.
For more information visit https://emmysorganicsblog.wordpress.com/2023/05/31/the-best-ways-to-use-coconut-cookies-as-an-ingredient/

This is going to be an mini essay because there’s so much to unpack that I could honestly make an part 2. This isn’t to just to share my story to make myself feel better, but also, I want this post even after I leave to give strength to other PK’s to push past the stigma of not being able to leave because of generational ties. I’ll try not to rant, but I’m sure you guys are okay with that, so without further a due here it goes:
I was born and was diagnosed with heart disease at 2 days old. Eventually they inserted an pacemaker to help my left ventricle pump properly. I’ve had about 12 surgeries since then and I’m probably coming up on 13 surgeries in an few years. I also started college at 15 and now I’m graduating with my Bachelor’s degree at 19 years old in an month. So it’s amazing how much I’ve managed to accomplish in an short time. I’ll probably go into 911 Dispatching since it has good benefits plus I always wanted to do police work but my health issues stopped me from that.
Being Pentecostal, I got labeled an “miracle child” by my home church and I hated that spotlight so much. This faith goes back to my great grandmother back in the early 70’s so my roots are deep in this. I did everything you could think of: I sang in the choir, I sang an solo at 6 years old in front of 300 people, I helped stack chairs and clean the church, I ushered, and I even did bible quizzing for 6 years (I could make an post about that wormhole). My dad is also an preacher and now my pastor for 7 years since we moved to start our own church after he felt called to do so. Which spoiler alert, the church hasn’t grown at all plus we got kicked out of our building so we don’t even have an church.
Now that I’ve given my life story, this is where it gets fun and I delve into all the trauma I’ve had in order. Religion gave me trauma because there were days I would wake up, my parents wouldn’t be home and I thought the rapture happened. Then the double standard would show when I messed up, one time I got grounded of everything at 15 for looking at instagram profiles of girls from my school on my ipod, but yet other pk’s could sleep around being promiscuous and nothing happened to them.
I got depressed after we left my old church. Literally no one would come (no still does) and every Sunday that went by, I got more and more depressed looking at all the empty chairs. But if I complained, my dad was say stuff like “sometimes God’s will is hard” or talk about how many opportunities I had. Around the same time, I was starting high school and my first semester wasn’t bad at all, I had tons of confidence after buying some new clothes, my first crush at the time even showed some signs that she liked me. So despite my crappy situation, I felt like I was on cloud 9.
Then in the start of 2018, everything just spiraled downward and I experienced what I look back on as the darkest time in my life, I honestly don’t even know how I made it out. My grades started to drop to where I had D’s and F’s in essentially all my classes, no one was coming to church, and life just sucked. My parents though I was acting out and that wasn’t the case. After getting home one day, I was ready to end it and somedays I would ask God to take me off the face of the Earth. I grabbed an sharp pocket knife, prepared myself for the immense pain, but my parents opened my door and stopped me in time.
They then gave me an long lecture about how I would go to hell and whatnot so that was the end of that. But even after attempting suicide, I would have suicidal and depressed thoughts for the end of the year and even into spring 2019 where I was so mentally exhausted that I could do nothing but sob in the car ride home when my mom picked me up. That summer, I found an charter school that helped me fast track graduation and started college classes early which was great because my mom didn’t need to pay for it because I was an high school student. The downside is I’ve never been the same since, I’m also very quiet now to where I don’t like being around people. Meatheads online like Andrew Tate who say depression isn’t real are just one bad day away from being me.
My dad’s had mental illness for most my life and it runs on both sides of the family (one side is genetic and the other side got it after going to Vietnam). There’s been times he’s gotten physically violent with people during manic episodes such as assaulting an old lady in the hospital, punching my grandpa in the back of the head, threatening my older brother with an walking stick, and probably would’ve ripped my mom’s scalp out if my brother didn’t stop him. Then an couple years ago he tried to come after me and my mom when we were trying to hide from him during his manic episode. I’ve had PTSD nightmares of him screaming his head off ever since along with vivid nightmares of getting heart surgery while being awake.
This gets to the title of my post. Because of all this trauma that I have, I stopped pursing Pentecostal girls since I feel like none of them would accept me because they don’t understand my trauma along the burden of carrying so many physical and emotional scars, not to mention being 5’6 because of my heart issues made me feel insecure going to conferences because every girl towered over me with heels. Especially with how much purity culture there is where some couples can’t even hug each while dating, I’m not going to be stuck in an marriage like that for 60 years.
Now that I’m closer to leaving, I feel a similar way about not pursuing non Pentecostal girls because I don’t feel like I can let anyone in, I got rejected so many times by Pentecostal girls who were also stuck up and that’s messed up my confidence. I’ve never even had my first kiss or first time because of the purity culture. But even without that and being so young at 19, I’m so screwed up and have so much trauma that I feel like no girl would ever want to love me or date me in the long run.
How do I get past all this trauma and navigate the world of dating once I leave Pentecost? Every time I’ve tried to pursue even an semi romantic relationship, they crumble because I suck at building relationships thanks to my religious upbringing and life long trauma. I posted this on ex Pentecostal and they suggested therapy so I might look into that after I leave.

Crumbl’s old sugar cookie recipe they were using about a year ago was soooo good. By far the best sugar cookie. Their “updated recipe containing real almond extract” is just horrible. I couldn’t even get any of my kids to eat them either. Went to the trash. I gave them a second chance a couple months later same thing. I sincerely miss the old ones. 💔 it was my favorite cookie. None of the other flavors even mattered. Anyone else feel the same way? Like if crumbl doesn’t want the old recipe anymore can we have it?