Hello all,
I'm losing my mind. Essentially, I have probably around 1-2k photos seemingly disappeared into thin air.
It started around 6-7 years ago (bear with me here) when I started noticing photos disapearing from my library. I share an apple account with my family, so I asked my dad what was going on as he was and is the owner and controller etc of the account. I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was along the lines of "there's not enough space on your phone, so I'm storing them in the cloud instead". (Note that I was ~12-13 years old at the time)
Okay, cool. That's fine, I thought. As long as I can look at them later through the cloud or whatever. (I think you can see where this is going). Today, whimsically, I decided I wanted to look at these photos. Now, a serious amount of these photos have disappeared. I'm talking entire vacations, gone. School memories, entire years simply not viewable on my iphone. And when I log onto the icloud website - nothing. It shows me the exact same photos that are on my phone. No vacations, no memories, nothing. From a two week trip to China where I palpably remember taking an extreme amount of photos, a single photo remains. From the entire year of 2017, 20 photos.
My dad says that he hasn't touched anything, and I believe that whatever this is started as I said above, with a storage issue etc. I concede that I have no idea how IOS, icloud or any apple product really work beyond what I use on my iphone. However, my dad also says he has zero idea. The apple support forums are INSANELY useless and stupidly hard to navigate (again maybe chalk this up to inexperience, but still), so I have found no help there.
To make matters worse, my dad recently did something where all of HIS photos (from his iphone) are now also on MY phone, making it ridiculously hard to navigate through my own photos to figure out what's there and what's not. If there is also a way to undo this please let me know.
The most infuriating part is that this is contained entirely to my phone. My sister's and my mum's phones both have all their photos going back 14 years, apparently stored locally.
I'm seriously at a loss here. I'm about as tech savvy as an average young person, but the only options I could find in my admittedly hasty research were super dodgy 3rd party software sites. I am planning on going to the apple store tomorrow. I came to reddit because I know there are methods not sanctioned by apple, and I'm really clueless about IOS as I said.
It would, in the most serious way possible, change my life to get these photos back. I have literally not seen these photos since the months they were taken more than 5 years ago and they are incredibly important to me. Please if you have any idea what may have happened to them I will be as responsive as possible on this and other posts I will be making. If you need more information do not hesitate to ask (although be aware that I am not a moron, so I will not be handing out addresses / personal info etc.)
Thanks,
Person on the verge of collapse.

Hello.... it's me. The woman who posted over new years that's FMIL claimed she was pregnant and due in June 2023, despite not being pregnant.
Well it's June! And would you all believe that I do not have a new born child in my arms? It would be very concerning if I did since I've been knocking back espresso Martini's every week for the past few months.
So JNFMIL fortunately did not show up on our doorstep on June 1st with bells on and ready to snatch away my "newborn". I think a family member that visited over April might have squashed her pregnancy theory, since we bar hopped and I was visibly not pregnant. Way to ruin the suprise.
HOWEVER. She will be in our state later this year. She called FDH over mothers day and advised him of her pending trip, and expressed her excitement for him to show her his house, where he works and his favourite places to eat. Very cute itinerary FMIL. FDH reminded her that she will not be staying with us and she isn't welcome in our home after how shes treated me (as it's also my home), but he's willing to grab a coffee with her.
Well he may as well have shot her, it would have probably been less messy. She is in hysterics. "WHY CANT I EVEN SEE YOUR HOME, IM YOUR MOTHER. I SUPPORTED YOU, I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING. YOURE STILL IN MY WILL, THATS HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME. YOULL ALWAYS BE MY SON BUT YOU DONT CARE THAT SHE (aka me) IS SO DISRESPECTFUL AND MEAN TO ME. I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU. YOU DONT LOVE ME" etc. Etc.
He hung up shortly after. I told him he should have said "we'll be busy with a new family member at that time" and i will buy a pet rock and do maternity photos with it. Hes boring and didn't agree with my idea. Boooo. (Side note- maybe FDHs sense of humour is really the just no... just saying lol).
Anyways after the call she continued her pity screamo concert to an array of family and friends. FSIL called to tell me that FMIL has apparently been talking to her for weeks about telling FDH about the trip, and despite FSIL trying to reign in her expectations of him being at her beck and call as a personal tour guide, she was still totally blindsided by him saying no to her. This woman is delusional. Also, she claims this is a work trip. She's worked at the same company for 2 decades and never had a work trip here. So that's very convenient timing...
TLDR: still not pregnant but am considering adopting a pet rock before FMIL visits our state. Thoughts on names?

Looking for a photographer to do some casual family photos. Don’t need a studio shoot something in a local park would be great. I’ve looked on yelp/Nextdoor but would love any reccomendations. Not trying to break the bank but willing to pay for quality.

Hello all,
I'm losing my mind. Essentially, I have probably around 1-2k photos seemingly disappeared into thin air.
It started around 6-7 years ago (bear with me here) when I started noticing photos disapearing from my library. I share an apple account with my family, so I asked my dad what was going on as he was and is the owner and controller etc of the account. I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was along the lines of "there's not enough space on your phone, so I'm storing them in the cloud instead". (Note that I was ~12-13 years old at the time)
Okay, cool. That's fine, I thought. As long as I can look at them later through the cloud or whatever. (I think you can see where this is going). Today, whimsically, I decided I wanted to look at these photos. Now, a serious amount of these photos have disappeared. I'm talking entire vacations, gone. School memories, entire years simply not viewable on my iphone. And when I log onto the icloud website - nothing. It shows me the exact same photos that are on my phone. No vacations, no memories, nothing. From a two week trip to China where I palpably remember taking an extreme amount of photos, a single photo remains. From the entire year of 2017, 20 photos.
My dad says that he hasn't touched anything, and I believe that whatever this is started as I said above, with a storage issue etc. I concede that I have no idea how IOS, icloud or any apple product really work beyond what I use on my iphone. However, my dad also says he has zero idea. The apple support forums are INSANELY useless and stupidly hard to navigate (again maybe chalk this up to inexperience, but still), so I have found no help there.
To make matters worse, my dad recently did something where all of HIS photos (from his iphone) are now also on MY phone, making it ridiculously hard to navigate through my own photos to figure out what's there and what's not. If there is also a way to undo this please let me know.
The most infuriating part is that this is contained entirely to my phone. My sister's and my mum's phones both have all their photos going back 14 years, apparently stored locally.
I'm on an iphone 12 running 16.1.1, although this problem started ages ago when I had an iphone 5 or 6 (time flies aye?). I have never jailbroken or done anything like that, so everything here is above board in terms of where it would be. Old phones are gone, reduced to atoms (we sold them) so if we need those then game over. Theoretically I have been auto-backing up on icloud for ages though, so they should be accessible somehow? Right?
I'm seriously at a loss here. I'm about as tech savvy as an average young person, but the only options I could find in my admittedly hasty research were super dodgy 3rd party software sites. I am planning on going to the apple store tomorrow. I came to reddit because I know (probably?) that there are methods outside what apple recommends, and I'm really clueless about IOS as I said.
It would, in the most serious way possible, change my life to get these photos back. I have literally not seen these photos since the months they were taken more than 5 years ago and they are incredibly important to me. Please if you have any idea what may have happened to them I will be as responsive as possible on this and other posts I will be making. If you need more information do not hesitate to ask (although I will not be handing out addresses / personal info etc. ofc)
Thanks,
Person on the verge of collapse.
edit 1: Added phone model, ios and some extra details after reading post rules (soz).

Disclaimer : i am not used to story telling so the story will kinda be all over the place and i apologize in advanced!
Let me start from the beginning, for aslong as i can remember i had a crush on this guy since first week of classes. it was really awkward at the time because i was not sure about who i am just yet. that was like 8-9 months ago. For description this guy is the typical high grade glasses and very average looking, we are about the same height like 5'3 or something (never really checked) not slim but not masculine either, short black hair and black eyes i think
A description of me, i am a short guy, average-goodlooking (im bold i actually have a crush on myself lol) not slim but not muscular too (we are the same body types). short black hair and dark brown eyes.
Something about myself, i am not the most sociable guy. my mood depends on my energy so my friend often portrays me as "cold person" or "sad boy" lol i dont mind. I often give cold shoulder when my energy levels are low (something i should work on) especially when it comes to packing up and going home. That information will come handy later.
Anyways things went on and i started to befriend this guy (the awkwardness is real). it was all fine until he finally joined our friend group. ofcourse i have to act like its not a big deal (it is) i could remember that i was a little panicky lol. then he started to closely befriend my friends, they would hang out like almost everyday, this made me feel like i didnt belong anymore for the longest time but i didnt let it bother me.
For some reason he was touchy and sweet towards me (putting his head on my shoulder, finding a way to see me everytime there is a chance, i catch him looking at me and then he looks away etc etc) these signs of him was the ones that gaved me hope for the longest time while i was supressing my feelings because at the time i didnt know who i was ( i had a identity crisis). I was often giving cold shoulder to him because i was not sure whether i should continue doing what i was doing because i wasnt sure who i was until one day i settled on being bi.
Theres this one time i can remember where we got to this rooftop with our friends and him and it was like past sunset, the place was moody almost romantic illuminated by the pink skies above. we sat down by this stone walkway and just taking in the scenery. there was no words spoken between us but our friends are just cracking jokes and being silly lol. the whole time i was overthinking whether i should confess on that moment or wait for the "perfect time". then suddenly he puts his head on my shoulder again. this time it felt different, it felt right. i sadly didnt took a photo of our shadows but i did took a photo of our shadows sat together (sorry i cant show it to you guys). That was a time to remember, but a memory that would soon turn bitter.
My search for the "perfect time" came and go, i was wasting opportunities like it was tap water lol. if there was a lost opportunity for confession competition i would've won lol. All these times my mood were like roller coaster, one day im like "YEAHH LETS FRICKKING GO", then the next day i be like "i want to die, stare at you emotionless", that didnt help our relationship because i think hes interpreting it as a negative thing. These things led to our relationship slowly tearing apart (and it was never strong in the first place). there was a point where im like (i cant keep doing this i either should confess or completely move on) and i decided to confess.
I didnt wait for a perfect time, i didnt tell him personally either. i shoot him a quick text. actually its not a text its a screenshot of a text i wrote on notepad. At this point i didnt care about the outcome i wanted this to end because it was hurting me like hell. He replied the exact words:
(The day before this i didnt didnt talk to him because i thought he was ignoring me)
"Hello, i was just busy the other day. well thanks i guess i have noticed it for a while now, sorry in advanced"
at this point i was numb i didnt even feel a thing but i texted him just to make sure
"thats a no" "right?"
he dodged the question and said
"goodnight"
goodnight? what goodnight? i asked you a question and you said goodnight? i was mad for a while and i collected my self and said
"well thanks for your answer, i finally found the closure i was looking for all this time"
"goodnight"
that was the last time i have talked to him. yes we see each other in school but we have been ignoring each other since then. at first i was like okay dont talk to me its not like i care anyway, now i feel shit. its awkward being in the same friend group and hes closer to my friends now than me. i feel left out of the friend group and wondering what to do next. we are nearing graduation i feel like my time is running out but at the same time i feel like i should not do anything because he already rejected me. any thoughts?
again i apologize that the story is all over the place.

Haven’t posted here before but this page and everyone’s advice and stories was a huge support and helping force for me to get my gallbalder removed and I got a lot of positive tips from reading everyone’s posts so I wanted to say a collective thank you to the community :)!
I’m 22 female, curious to see if there are other people on the younger side who have had to get their gallbladder removed! I’ve had lots of general remarks from people that they’re not used to someone in the you get side having to go through a removal. I had two pretty back good back attacks end of February that landed me in the ER and I was highly recommended getting it removed, ended up waiting until after grad to get the deed done (exactly a week after I graduated such a lucky duck).
Anywho! I woke up from the surgery in a lot more pain than I anticipated, particularly a very persistent shooting pain on my right side that took a good amount of fentanyl and something else to ease down. I was in recovery for about four hours before I was able to sit up and change, the car ride back home was a pretty big haze and spend most of the day in bed. The hospital gave me a waist compressor that’s helped a lot when I’m walking around to keel everything feeling tight and my back straight, it definitely helped with reducing inflammation.
Yesterday was better, had a big energy bursts in the am and walked around, sat in the living room to watch tv, but lost steam by the afternoon and wasn’t able to last being out of bed much. My incisions were definitely more bothersome yesterday. I’ve been icing my stomach a lot with lots of cold gel pads my family got me. Very minimal eating since I haven’t been too hungry. Sitting up from bed has felt quite difficult but I’ve finally found an awkward roll over process that’s less painful.
I’m definitely going to try to get up more and wobble around extra today. Anyone have any tips for first week/ second week? I’m feeling a lot better, still some discomfort in the incisions but not super bad, haven’t been able to achieve any bowel movements (mostly because I’m scared it’ll hurt a lot, making any pushing pressure hurts my cuts and old gallbladder spot).
Sorry this is all just mainly unorganized ramble, I appreciate anyone who reads it and goodluck to all in whatever step of your gallbladder journey you’re in!

Sorry this may be long…. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. Since the beginning they have not really cared for me. They sit on high horses and look down on people and I just don’t. My husband is the baby of the family and they still treat him as such even though he’s almost 40. A few years back his mom called inquiring about his credit score and savings accounts but I digress. After 10 years of them sticking their noses in places it doesn’t belong, especially regarding our 3 daughters, I have chosen to stand up for myself. My Sil has overstepped her boundaries too many times and no one in the family will confront her bc they are afraid of her. Well I’m not. The final straw happened about a month ago, and my MIL and SiL absolutely refuse to even acknowledge how me or my husband feel about it. We are hurt and feel disrespected. They won’t even have an adult discussion about it. We tried yesterday but his mom literally said I’m not talking about this and walked away. She just wants us to act like it didn’t happen. I’m so sick of doing that! That’s what they always do! They treat me like shit, act like it never happened and bully me into submission. I won’t do it this time! My husband totally supports me but I feel bad for this huge rift in the family. They want to continue to see our girls but it’s so awkward. I won’t go in their house and sit in the car for drop offs. I want to really really tell them what I think of them but I respect my husband too much to do that.

Looked at the processing times and assumed I would have to cancel my trip, but this sub gave me a lot of hope. Just lurked for a while and checked the sub every day for updates, and I’m happy to say I can provide my data point. I applied for email updates but never got any. I’m located in northern New England.
My time from “in process” was 6 weeks.
I’m really excited for Canada with my partner, it’s our first vacation together, and my first trip without family around :)
DOT: 6/28
4/21: Applied for expedited service and 2-day return shipping
4/25: In process, delighted to see Locator 69
Checked the sub each day, noticed the 5 week return on a lot of passports from 69, freaked out about my photo (the sub helped me)
Got nervous last week, as the 5 week point had passed and I was wondering if I made a mistake on my application
6/2: Passport approved in the late afternoon, said the ship date was going to be around 6/7
6/6: passport came in the mail!

Hey guys,
I'm a producer and I mainly record Pop Punk/Alternative Hardcore bands.
Until then, the only bass I used for recording was a Music Man Stingray borrowed from a friend, and with fresh strings before every session, it got me very close to the sound I want to achieve (Blink 182, BMTH, Linkin Park type sound.)
By the end of the month, I won't have access to that bass anymore.
I got two basses, a basic affinity Squier P-bass that I don't really ever use, and an active Charvel Jackson 3b from the late 80s.
The Charvel feels like a really solid bass, it was a gift from a musician friend, it sat unused for a decade before he gifted it to me. I never got it set up, never even changed strings since then. I tried recording it but couldn't really get close to that growly SVT Mark Hoppus, Linkin Park style sound. It always felt kind of weak and sloppy. The pickups are 35 years old, maybe they're starting to die?
Do you think getting it set up + fresh strings could get me close to the sound I'm looking for? Honestly, I'm not a bassist so I'm a bit confused, It's a bass from the 80s so maybe it's just not the right bass, but I would love for it to work because feel-wise, it's one of the best bass I've handled!
Thanks, here's a photo of a Charvel 3B :)
​

Hello! I reposted this story because the title I posted before contained Moral Judgement. I also do cross checking on the grammar and added some part of how i feel recently.
If this post by any chance triggering or maybe uncomfortable to read, please do just scroll. [ English isn't my first language, i will try my best to elaborate it ]
So, I (22) and my bf (22) are currently in a complicated situation about our relationship. We started dating a year ago (April). He confessed to me that he likes me, after 3 years I've been secretly having a crush on him. So this relationship started with me being his secret admirer and finally got noticed.
We were a happy go lucky couple before it started. But since the beginning, I have been an 'edgy' person. Maybe, I still am. I realize that I have a very bad mental condition and bad coping mechanism. It happened because of some past events that affect me this much. I put some part of it here [it will be relevant] — In 2014 (i was 13 back then), i get many traumatic events. - I was getting s3xu4l 455ault (r4p3 attempt, groping, touching, and many nasty things without my consent), and manipulating me to trust that it’s ‘okay’ to do that. The perpetrator also terrorizes me and often goes to my home. This sexual assault making me lose my virginity. Losing virginity means that you are no longer worthy and it is a symbol of impurity. I have no control over it nor a consent since I didn't properly get information about consent and sex edu.

• My father got a stroke. The reason is hypertension. A week before my father got the stroke, he slapped me twice, for trivial reasons (I went home from school 1 hour late to do a school project). But, I was pushed by my mom to beg for his forgiveness, even though until now my father never even felt sorry for it or even say he is sorry.
  
• My mom nearly commiting suicide because my father is teasing and flirting with his own colleagues. Both in the back, and in front of my mother.
  

But all of the events are repressed. So I have a bad coping mechanism. I am very secretive to that information because I'm afraid people will no longer accept me as who I am. Those events also take a toll on me. I have very bad self esteem, high insecurity, and often feel lonely because I'd rather cut every friend I have so they don't have to know me, unworthy, and showing signs of depression. — My bf and I are friends at college, we were in the same field of study and classes. I had a crush on him for a whole 3 years, and suddenly he confessed that he has feelings for me and we were dating. At first, we were happy. We were connected to every opinion we have, hobbies, likes and dislikes, even imaginary things. We clicked on many things and it was fun. At first, I was afraid to tell him that I'm not a virgin. But he is very reassuring. So I told him anyway, and he seemed to accept it. But I have a very low insecurity, low self esteem, etc. So I often disbelieve him, and at some point I often get too obsessive with him and scared that he will leave.
On his birthday, i was going to his apartment to celebrate it. But i was unemployed, and broke. So i feel guilty not preparing anything for him. I just create a Carrd (website) and some cheesy text. But my feeling that day is off. I feel sad, anxious, and very guilty that I don't have anything to give to him. At first, it was all good because i know i can spending time with him. But, I feel lonely.
We have this agreement that it is okay for us to just chill, stay silent, and just enjoy each other's company. But that night I felt so miserable and I just wanted him to spend time with me. But he's watching Youtube Shorts in the room while I feel lonely in the living room.
And then my thoughts are telling me that I'm not worthy, he's not even bat an eye even when I am with him right now, do i really need to be here? It's better if he's celebrating his birthday with family.
So I storm into the room while being sulky, but he still watches Youtube Shorts. I was mad, I told him that he should just celebrate his birthday with his family. For a proper celebration.
I almost text my friend to judge if my feeling is caused by myself or him.
And then finally I got his attention, but he burst into tears. He's saying that I was being unfair to him, to be judged by my friend (that will eventually be biased), to say that he should celebrate the birthday with his family (because he told his family that he's celebrating with the bois). He then curled up and refused to be touched.
But I feel like it was also unfair that I was the one who came to him but he isn't even attentive to me. It takes my money and hours to get to him (we live in a different city). So, there were destructive thoughts. It feels suffocating that when I open up my feelings, I also get blamed.
It feels suffocating and I have the urge to rush into the balcony to get some air. Maybe at some part of my brain, telling me to just suicide. But, I really feel suffocated.
I ran to the balcony, he chased me, and yelled 'what are you doing?'
and i just answer with 'i should've just die'
We argued, and then he slapped me. It's not a hard slap, but it sure brings back those bad memories about my father.
I was scared that eventually he would treat me like my father did to me. And I was screaming and crying.
So much happened that night, and I regret it every single day. — On our anniversary, I was giving him a book that contains a mini comic about us, and google drive filled with our photos and notes about my point of view about him. There’s this one Gdocs that I created including thoughts about what happened on that night. But I missed many parts of the story because I was typing it 2 hours before I went to meet him.
But suddenly it became a fuel fight. He mentioned that I didn't remember the important part of the story, and it hurts him so much that I choose not to remember that. He said that I chose to remember the better version of that night, but he was suffers to how he remember it completely.
He told me that it was pure gaslight that I did the whole night, and how I don't remember it was a cruel thing to do.
He also told me that he couldn’t forgive me. — I didn't forget any of it. Even the whole thing that happened to me nearly 10 years ago is still intact perfectly in my memory, and it was also unfair that I created a whole book for him but he just sees the bad parts of the things i created.
I missed many parts of the story because I was rushed. And I try to dig every single piece of my mind to create another GDocs so I'm not missing any part again. — It's been 5 months since then, and I try my best to fix myself so I don't do any destructive behavior again. I've been go to therapy, try self love and forgiving myself, and many things so i don't ever relapsed again.
I promised myself not to suicide again because now i know how it affects other people. But, I think he feels burdened by being with me. He often suddenly turns cold, not showing me affection, and not even saying ‘i love you’. It’s cheesy, but sometimes I need that too. — We, no, He actually did try to break up with me at least for the third time. But, I still have these positive thoughts about “we can fix this, give me another chance, we will be okay”. So he gave me the last chance. He also told me that I was toxic to be attached to him like that, that I was lucky it was him that I cling onto. But, actually it makes me scared that I was not worthy to feel being in love again. While I've been good and try to forgive myself for my past trauma, this current event is actually crushing my mind. — I've buried this story in my mind because I don't have anyone to talk to. I was scared to talk about this to my family/friends/even someone that knows one of us because he said it before it was unfair for other people to judge. So I'm just scared it will be biased and will put him on the bad side.

Also, I'm doing counseling with a psychologist but it was solely on my past traumatic events.

So, any advice on this relationship situation?

You have seen the photos. On social media, matchday programmes, Wrexham AFC’s website. And you may have heard the name: Rob Stead (stead.photos on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).
In the enviable position of being one of the club’s photographers, Rob has a keen eye for capturing iconic moments and a flair for epic compositions, along with an easily recognizable style that stands out from the more customary sports photography.
Small details or bigger picture, Rob definitely has the propensity to be the right man at the right time in the right place—so, I reached out to him with a bunch of questions and he graciously sent me back a bunch of answers.
​
Tell us a little about yourself.
I'm 34 years old (about to turn 35) and currently reside in the beautiful North Wales with my young family. I'm a relatively new supporter of Wrexham AFC starting around 2017 when I joined the media team at the club. The first game I attended was a 2-1 victory over Boreham Wood, which of course is the same opponent that Wrexham played to secure promotion to the Football League. I am completely self-taught in photography but completed a media course in college and a performing arts degree at university.
​
When did you start taking photos and how did photography become your medium? What inspired you to pick up a camera?
I've had an interest in media ever since I can remember, but I took it seriously when studying in college and university.
​
What was some of your earlier work like?
My earlier work is a bit of everything (you can see if you scroll back through my Instagram page). I wanted to try out as many genres as possibly to see what I enjoyed most.
​
Who or what have been the most prominent artistic influences so far?
I really enjoy reportage/documentary photography. I'm not keen on posing photos, I prefer to stand back and take a natural shot of the moment.
​
How did you become a club photographer?
I originally applied to be a volunteer television camera operator at the club back in 2017 and had a fun few years doing that. When the club brought in a dedicated streaming team I decided to move pitchside to cover matchday photography. Previous to this I also was on hand to take photos when new players signed or new kits were released.
​
What have been so far the most challenging aspects of being a sport photographer?
Getting the shot! Especially if you are working on behalf of any newspapers. You don't want to be missing a crucial shot/goal celebration.
​
How do you capture the pace of the game? Having to move, follow the action and take photos all at the same time seems quite tricky.
I have a set location to shoot from at the matches and then swap to the other end at half-time. It's all about practice. You have 90 minutes to get a few decent shots so you have plenty of time to practice.
​
On match day, how your day looks like? What is the process? How many hours do you do?
For a 3pm kick-off match I typically arrive at the stadium at around 1pm to sign in. I then take in the surroundings of the stadium and await the players arriving to take some shots. I then cover the warm-ups and the players coming out of the tunnel. I then move to my position to shoot the first and second half. I send the photos that I take throughout the match to the admin team. I then leave after the post match interviews have been completed.
​
Can you tell us about your experience on April 22nd? How was before, during and after? Did you feel pressured to capture more moments than usual? How was it in the changing room? How was to hold the cup?
April 22nd won't be forgotten in a hurry! I was pretty confident the team could get over the line and clinch promotion as they have been so strong playing at home in front of the 10,000 strong. When the third Wrexham goal went in, we could relax a little bit before the final whistle which is not something a Wrexham fan can usually do! Following the final whistle, chaos ensued, but in a celebratory way. I managed to squeeze towards the tunnel area to get as many shots as possible before entering into the changing room. It was such a privilege to be in there observing and capturing the moments that followed (and rather wet!) - The trophy was heavier than expected, but such an honour after so many years of being so close.
​
Related to the previous question, did your experience as a club photographer change your view as a fan? And, on the opposite side of the coin, is it hard to get the perfect shot during a match because you are also excited as a fan? Or do you find yourself being somewhat more detached from the game (or focused in a different way)?
Unfortunately I have to remain somewhat detached from the game as it's going on otherwise I would probably miss the shot! Often I don't know if a shot has gone into the goal until I hear the crowd roar!
​
Do you edit photos during the game?
I do edit during the game as I need to get the photos up to the club admin team as soon as possible.
​
What are some of the most important skills for a sport photographer?
Being able to juggle many plates at once and being able to react at a moment's notice is key. Having an understanding of the sport is useful too as you can preempt the next play for example.
​
You have a very distinctive style—cinematographic, epic, dramatic and yet utterly intimate. You capture very public moments at the cusp of raw human emotion. How do you achieve that?
I couldn't possibly reveal my secrets! 😆
​
You have a family of your own. How do you balance your personal life with the demands of your position?
My family is very supportive of my position at the club and I can't thank them enough for the sacrifices they make for me to be able to attend regularly.
​
Have you ever had any accidents during a game?
Nothing to note as of yet! 🤞
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Who is your favorite Wrexham AFC player?
It's a tough choice, but I would probably say Luke Young and the former player, Paul Rutherford. Both would give their all for the club and their work ethic is up there with the best I've seen.
​
What’s your equipment?
I currently use a Canon 1D X with either a 70-200mm or 17-40mm lens. I tend to edit my photos on my phone to begin with as it's a quicker way of submitting the photos to the club.

My BF loves pokemon and a few weeks ago he sent me a link to an insta page for custom cards. So I made it my mission to get one for his bday. I contacted this artist via instagram OP: Hello, I hope you're well. Can you do one with a trainer and pokemon? G: hi, yes I can. OP: I saw on your insta that youve done a Sabrina's Alakazam. Did you draw that? G: yes, for example
https://linksharing.samsungcloud.com/hU314D4HWMwA
OP:how much it would be for something like it G:$25 for just the card if I already had an artwork done, but if I wanted him to do everything is would be $50 an hour. Although I was kinda shocked at the high price I thought that since it's high quality art that I'm paying for I agreed. He had me pay through friends and family on paypal to avoid the fees I sent $132.28 US ($212.35) with transaction fee I sent pictures as face references and one full body, and for his favourite jacket and black chelsea boots to be in the card. He came back to me the next day with a picture saying he was done. What he sent me was not really what I expected OP:is this the prototype? It looks cute. G:Haha thx
https://linksharing.samsungcloud.com/zNQ4jc3r7ott
OP:So theres a few changes. Can you draw it with a bit of action n the gesture? Everything is just standing still and is awkward, can you also make the shirt black and the jeans black? G:I cant redesing his gesture would take to much time, but with the diglett no problem. i cant change everything dont want to be rude but you wanted me to design him wearing this jacket. this revision is for small changes. I already did the charged amount OP: I can pay a little extra for the time it would take to change G:theres need. ill try to do as I requested. He sent me this next
https://linksharing.samsungcloud.com/xlyp3DXfbEu0
He added more pokemon even though I didn't ask for it. G:im finished send me $30 usd for the extra work please. OP:it looks ok, when will you draw it in your style? G: what? 😂 send me the extra $30 to my PayPal. Then I with print it in holo then ship to you. OP:Im asking if you draw it more in the anime style like make match with the pokemon, cause you haven't drawn it yet right? G:the card is finished, i drew everything on a tablet not by hand. i invested 4.5 hours in this card and calculated you only 2 but okay. Send me the $30 and then your address. OP:im sorry but this isn't what I paid for. I asked have a drawn art not this. It doesn't look good. I was expecting a pokemon digitally drawn art work. Can you at least refund me half if you're not willing to do the full amount? G:sabrina is a gymleader from pokemon how should i get your boyfriend in this artstyle? i cant refund you for work that i have already done, i did what you asked and changed. i do 10-15 commissions a week and never had a situation like this before. All you're doing is complaining. He sent me a fake paypal refund pic of $25 usd after I filed a dispute.
AITA

Welcome back, it's Wednesday and I'll just come out and say it - that Seiko is ugly... Change my mind.

What's new

1/
Seiko Adds Four Completely New Chronographs To The Prospex Collection And Four Limited Editions To The Presage Craftsmanship Series
In 1999 Seiko launched a limited edition they called the Sportura Kinetic Chronograph. It was a funky watch that used four subdials to display the time and chronograph functions. Just looking at it and you feel the angst of the end of the millennium and the cheesy futurism (not to be confused with neo futurism in architecture led by Norman Foster, Zaha Hadid and Santiago Calatrava) that permeated industrial design of the time - from Oakley glasses to Jnco jeans. There’s no easy way to say this, but it’s an ugly watch. I can appreciate the experiment. But come on.
However, Seiko believes that the four dial layout of the Kinetic was pleasing to the eye. That’s why they decided to recreate it in four new solar chronographs that they are adding to the Prospex collection, marking the company’s association with the World Athletics Championships to be held in Budapest, Hungary, in August. Officially called the Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph, all four watches sport a new movement with the Seiko Caliber 8A50, a 1/100-second chronograph with a +/- 15-seconds per month precision rating.
The Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph watch is 42mm-wide, 12.9mm-thick, and its lug-to-lug distance is 48.3mm. All four watches have the same case and bracelet design but in different executions and ever-so-slightly different prices and naming schemes. I could go on into detail about the dials and colors, but it’s all just a bit confusing. You can hop on over here if you would like to know more.
Two of the models will be limited edition of 4,000 each and two will be regular production models. The Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph watch prices range from 890 Euros to 970 Euros, and all four versions will be available from July 2023. Regular readers of the newsletter will know I keep things very chipper here and don’t pass judgement. But these new Seiko’s are just baffling to me. They look like those Diesel watches you buy at the mall. Am I wrong?
Thankfully, Seiko has another announcement for today. While they have shown these watches previously, they are now starting to sell these stunning Presage Craftsmanship Series watches. Marking the 110th anniversary of its first wristwatch, the Laurel, Seiko is putting out two pairs of these limited edition pieces, with each featuring a dial made by a dedicated artisan or craft workshop through a traditional Japanese decorative technique — enamel, urushi lacquer, Arita porcelain, and shippō enamel. All four models boast a new case shape, a fresh dial aesthetic, and an in-house automatic movement. And they are now hitting the market.
And despite Seiko’s price increases for recent releases, these new editions seem to align with their predecessors. The white enamel SPB393 retails for €1,650, the brown urushi SPB395 for €2,000, the ivory Arita porcelain SPB397 for €2,000, and the blue shippō enamel SPB399 for €2,250.
2/
Breguet Gives Us Two Redesigned Variations Of The Classic Chronograph With The Type XX And Type 20
Just the other day I linked to a great article on Type 20, the references issued by the French military in the 1950s. There were many brands who stepped up to produce these Type 20 watches, but the reference has stuck around to be synonymous with one brand in particular - Breguet. They have been making the Type 20 for years now, with occasional updates, but now Breguet is unveiling the new Type XX and Type 20 – a civilian and military-inspired take on the classic design - which is the biggest change to the line.
Despite at first glance looking like it’s two of the same watches with different dials, the Type 20 and Type XX are actually different watches. Both watches come in the same steel case that measures 42mm wide and 14.1mm thick with bidirectional steel bezels and matching lume pips. But this is pretty much where the similarities stop. The Type 20 has a military inspired dial with mint green lume and syringe hands, while the Type XX is a civilian version with a creamy yellow lume and alpha hands.
The Type 20 and Type XX both have a new self-winding movement, the Calibre 728 for the civilian version and Calibre 7281 for the military version. Each movement has a column wheel, vertical clutch, 5Hz frequency, and flyback functionality with 60 hours of power reserve, plus an inverted in-line lever escapement with a flat silicon balance spring for increased durability, longevity, and magnetic resistance.
Why two different calibers? The difference lies in dial layout and how useful it would be in military or civilian applications. On the military version, you only have two registers, with a 30-minute totalizer at three o'clock, now larger than the 60-second totalizer at nine o'clock. Meanwhile, the civilian version has a 15-minute totalizer at three o'clock, a 12-hour totalizer at six o'clock, and running seconds at nine o'clock.
This is not a cheap watch. It will run you $18,000. But it might just be one of the best vintage revivals we have seen in a year full of vintage revivals.
3/
French Watchmaker Yema Teams Up With Alpine French Racing Team To Mark The Most French Race With Five New Watches
One of the most legendary races in the world starts on Saturday and ends on Sunday. Yes, it’s the 24 hours of Le Mans. The race is, of course, one of the most recognisable french things, alongside the croissant and hating tourists. You know what else is very french? Alpine, the legendary car manufacturer that gained it’s fame with the quirky A110 and is currently doing really well (under Renault ownership) with its successor, also called the A110. Alpine will be present at the 24h of Le Mans With their Endurance Team. If only there was a watchmaker that could join in, making it a French hat trick. There is. It’s Yema. Yema has made five new watches to mark Alpine’s stint at Le Mans - the Yema Rallygraf A470 Limited Edition and four Rallygraf Alpine Endurance Team Automatic models of which one is mechanical while the other three are powered by the Seiko VK64 meca-quartz movement.
The Yema Rallygraf A470 Limited Edition takes all the right cues from 70s racing chronographs. The stainless steel case is 39mm wide and 12mm thick without the double-domed sapphire crystal. The solid caseback shows the Alpine Endurance Team logo and the limitation of the watch. The dial is finished in a gradient-blue colour, Alpine’s signature color, with a vintage dashboard-inspired bicompax layout and Alpine’s logo on the chronograph seconds hand. Inside the watch is the Valjoux 7753 and the watch comes on an appropriate black leather rally strap with a steel pin buckle. This watch will be limited to 470 pieces and can be pre-ordered for a price of USD 2,190 with delivery expected in September 2023.
This runs at a frequency of 28,800vph and delivers 48 hours of power reserve. The watch comes on a black leather rally strap with a steel pin buckle. Limited to 470 pieces, tying in with the car, it can be pre-ordered for a price of EUR 2,190 with delivery expected in September 2023.
Then there’s the meca-quartz variants. They take the same case as the Rallygraf and give it three variations - white dial with a blue outside minute track, a cream dial with a black outside minute track or a black dial with a cream outside minute track. All of these are also available for preorder now for EUR 399 and will be delivered in September 2023.
Yema also announced a second mechanical watch made in collaboration with Alpine, the Rallygraf Alpine Endurance Team Automatic. This will officially be unveiled this coming Saturday at the Circuit de la Sarthe, during the racing weekend of the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Although we don’t know all the details at this moment, we can see it’s made of stainless steel, comes on a multi-link bracelet or black leather strap and has a black dial. The bidirectional rotating bezel can be used to calculate speeds, in combination with the inner ‘Temps Ecoule’ flange in white and blue. It is powered by the in-house Calibre YEMA2000 and will cost USD 990.
4/
The Dan Henry 1970 44mm is back with new colours and the same, affordable price
You might know Dan Hendy as the microbrand that has been pumping out vintage inspired watches since 2016. What you might not know is that they made their name with the Dan Henry 1970 44mm Automatic Diver, the first of their watches to feature an automatic movement. While it might not seem like a big deal, it was for Dan Hanry and the shoppers in the sub $500 range. While Dan Henry serviced it’s customers by providing good value for money with quartz movements, the 1970 44mm Automatic Diver was the first time they offered a mechanical movement at such an affordable price. It sold out instantly and now, four years later, they are back with a limited edition of 1970 pieces.
It’s a very big watch. Very big. The heavy stainless steel super compressor style case measures 44mm in diameter and is 14.8mm thick with a 50.5mm lug-to-lug length. Despite these large dimensions, and with all other manufacturers fighting to go smaller, people still love this watch. They love it enough for it to go for over retail on the secondary market, which is not common for a watch in this pricepoint. Both of the crowns, one for rotating the inner-bezel and one for adjusting the time, screw into the case, giving it 200m water resistance.
The dials get a contrasting pop of color on the outskirts. There’s the black and orange, as well as the black and off-white with a black case and blue with white color combinations. Each version comes with its own colour-matching FKM rubber tropic strap. To keep the price low, the watches are powered by the Seiko NH35. Not the best movement in the world, but it gets the job done for an exceptionally low price.
The new Dan Henry 1970 44mm Automatic Diver is limited to 1,970 pieces, available from Dan Henry and costs $310.
5/
Bamford Teams Up With Land Rover For The LR002 Limited Edition
Somehere near the end of last year, Land Rover designed their first watch. They called it the LR001 and they turned to Bamford to put the watch into production. It was a great looking field watch made of titanium and all in shades of grey, with a decent price and limited to 100 pieces so they all sold out very fast. Now, Bamford London and Land Rover are bringing it back with an updated, equally limited, version in all black called the LR002.
The LR002 is pretty much the same watch as the LR001, except for the color. While not a fan of black watches, this isn’t a bad thing, as it gives you a chance to buy the sold out Land Rover watch. What is bad is the price, but more on that later. The case measures 40mm wide and 13.25mm thick, and is made out of DLC coated titanium. It has a shape that resembles a field watch but much more modern and has fixed bars. From photos, due to the thick case and fixed bars, this watch looks to wear much larger than it actually is.
The dial seems to be much more interesting than the case. It has a sandwich construction with the top part having a matte black surface and the underside being filled with white lume. And by alternating circular and oblong cutouts, there’s a dynamic look to the dial. Inside the watch is the same movement as in the LR001, the Selita SW200-1B, and it’s delivered on a leather NATO-style bracelet.
The LR002 will have a run of just 100 pieces that are exclusively sold through Hodinkee. At the time of writing there are still pieces available for sale at a price of $1,700. And that’s the biggest issue. The LR001 sold for about $1,300 and the only difference between the two watches is the DLC coating. Is it worth the price difference?
6/
The Casio A120 Is The Best Pairing For Stranger Things, But Do We Need It?
The immense popularity of Stranger Thing undoubtedly lies in it’s 80s nostalgia that reminded us all of our childhoods. While playing to our good memories, it also roped in new generations by picking the best the decade had to offer and presenting it as something cool. That’s why you have a bunch of kids out there listening to Kate Bush and Metallica, while wearing Casio watches and buying VHS tapes. So it only makes perfect sense that Casio would team up with Stranger Things for a limited edition watch, and what better reference to do it with then the A120. This is the Casio x Stranger Things A120WEST-1A.
The watch is a classic Casio A120, with a 33.5mm x 40.7mm rectangle case and since it’s plastic it weighs only 25 grams. It’s not filled with a bunch of functions, but it does have a chronograph, alarm and calendar and you get three years of battery life. There’s a number of Stranger Things references on the watch - there’s a silhouette of the series’ demogorgon monster beneath the digital display and the LED backlight flickers and rapidly blinks just like the surfacing of a demogorgon in the show. Once lit, you can see the watermark of an upside down Stranger Things logo.
Casio has not announced when the watch will be available or how much it will cost, but you can keep an eye out on it here. Is this a nice homage to a good TV show, or just another example of over-consumerism and corporate media properties slapping their name everywhere, without actually making a meaningfully authentic version of the watch?
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On hand - a selection of reviews

1/
A review of Monta’s current flagship dress watch, the Noble
2/
Hands on with the 39mm and 42mm versions of the Hanhart 414 ES Flyback
3/
A week with the Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore limited edition in pink gold and titanium
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Watch Worthy - A look at an offbeat, less known watch you might actually like

Dryden is a go-everywhere-do-anything watch with plenty of options
Great dials are always appreciated, but no matter how good the dial is, it doesn’t matter if the watch isn’t wearable. The excellent design choices found on the dial of the Heartlander follow through to the case. Crafted from stainless steel the 38mm-wide case has a lovely 46mm lug-to-lug distance and is only 11.2mm-thick from solid steel caseback to domed sapphire crystal. These dimensions are in the Goldilocks region for an everyday watch for me and my ~6.5-inch wrist. The cases are predominantly brushed except for a thin highly polished bevel that flanks each side of the lugs.
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People loved the Seiko Alpinist giveaway! That's why I'm doing a new one. This time, we're giving away four Hamilton Khaki Field Automatics in a color of your choice. Head on over to the newsletter if you would like to enter.
If you would like to receive some additional watch-adjacent content, as well as this news overview, every morning Monday-Friday in the form of a newsletter feel free to subscribe. However, there is absolutely no need for you to subscribe, as all the news from the newsletter is posted here. It is only if you want to receive a couple of daily links that are not strictly watch-related and want to get this news overview in your inbox.

Good day my lovely Sziget Family!
"First of all we would like to say that if anyone needs the text in any other language then English please contact the Admins and we'll do it best to provide."
That said, let's kickoff...
We have some exciting updates for you all, some of them were already announced on our live broadcast but because we have more information to share with you about them and there is more important news to share, so even though it’s a lot to read please power through... 🙏🏼
Camping gear solution This year we have thanks to Bence the possibility to order your camping gear and get it delivered to the festival. For now, we have just added a tab to the family info sheet where you can make your interest known. Once we have sorted out the rest, a way of payment and ordering will be supplied. If you have any further questions, feel free to reach out to the admins or Bence.
Helper groups As of now, we have opened up the helper groups for a few of the positions you can express an interest in through the Info Gathering questionnaire, so if you’re interested in helping the Sziget family be sure to express your interest there. We are looking for members to join our sponsor, design, and activity helpers teams, for example. These teams will be helping the Sziget family admin to get everything done for the Sziget family. We will need Sziget Family Veterans to be the link between the team and the admins who will see that things get done and all contribute. Any Sziget family member who has been with us for at least one festival and is known by at least one of the Sziget family admins will be seen as a Sziget family Veteran.
We are as well looking for social media moderators, all Sziget family Veterans are eligible. You can show your interest by filling it in on the Info Gathering Form.
Sziget Family on Tour Besides earlier mentioned new groups you might have noticed “Sziget Family on Tour groups” being added to the community. The idea is that Veteran Sziget family members can request to create a group for an internationally known event they are attending and would like Sziget family members to join them. Any Sziget family member who has been with us for at least one festival and is known by at least one of the Sziget family admins will be seen as a Sziget family Veteran.
The Official Fam Shop As of now, we launched our Sziget Family shop. Here you can get your own Sziget Family branded clothing and other items. By buying anything from the shop, you also help the Family make ends meet. Besides this, our admin and the Fam’s designers would like your input! Let us know what items you would like to see in the shop. For the shop items we choose quality over price, but we are considering a “Budget” line as well, do you find this a plan worth working out be sure to let us know. If you have any input about the shop, send an email to [email protected].
Donating to the Family As of late, you can also sponsor the Fam through PayPal. Everything and all that is donated to the family will go back into the Sziget family again. This is a solid promise we as Admins make to you. If you have any questions about this contact one of the Admin.
Camping sign-up As of now, you will have just a few more days to be sure you signed up to be placed together with other Sziget family members with the same accommodation type on any of the upgrade campings. The deadline will be midnight on the 10th of June! Don't forget to sign up. We'll repeat this regularly for the remaining days.
Planned Sziget family activities. We have a few Sziget family activities for this year to announce. 1. First up a Beer pong tournament at Sziget family Base Camp (evening of August 8th): Signing up in advance will be needed before the 20th of July. We are setting it up as a singles tournament BUT if too many apply, we might switch it to a doubles or team tournament. An entry fee will be announced in the family info sheet, along with the precise deadline date. Payment will have to be made before the July 31st so keep an eye on the Sziget family Info sheet around that time. 2. Sziget family's opening dinner: If you want to join us for a yearly Sziget family Opening Dinner and get to know the Sziget family before the festival starts but didn’t complete the sign-up steps, you have just till the end of the month to complete them: a. Fill out your info in the “Family Members Info” tab at the end of the family info sheet. b. Fill out the form on the “Family Dinner” tab. c. Join the “Family Dinner" WhatsApp group, the link is in the “Family Dinner" tab as well. (If this last step is a problem for any reason contact an admin to see if we can fix it). 3. Raffle: We intend to hold a raffle on the first day of the festival at the Sziget family Daily Meet. You will be able to buy tickets soon, if you aren’t able to attend on this date don’t worry, we’ll publish the winners, and you will be able to collect your winnings from the admin throughout the festival. Do you have anything you would like to donate to the Sziget family as a price for this raffle please let one of the admins know. The raffle is open to any Sziget family member attending the festival that would like to enter. 4. Bingo: We intend to hold bingo on the Saturday of the festival at the Sziget family Daily Meet. You will be able to buy cards soon. Do you have anything you would like to donate to the Sziget family as a price for this bingo please let one of the admins know. Please make sure when offering that you can get it to one of the admins before this time. 5. Water Balloon Fight: On the warmest festival day we will hold a water balloon fight, anyone wearing a Sziget family bandana or bracelet at this time will be considered to participate. The Sziget family will supply balloons and more info will become available in time. 6. Daytime Activities: During the Daytime we will have all kinds of games and things to do at Basic Base Camp for anyone interested from the Sziget family 7. Onesie Day: We had a onesie day for a few years now and has been always fun. If there is enough interest, we will set it up this year at the festival again. For more info to express your interest contact Amit Alfassy, contact info can be found in the “Member Info” tab in the family info sheet. 8. Dutch Belgian pre-meet in July: Contact admin Misha for more info. 9. New Year: If there is an interest there will be a New Years Meet again with the Fam. Place and exact dates are to be determined. Most likely from around 26th of December until around the 3rd of January. 10. Do you have any other suggestions for us? Something you would like to do, or would like to organize? We want your suggestions! Let us know what you want to do/see.
Family Info Gathering Questionnaire When you go through our Linktree to get to the links and/or the family info sheet, you will stumble upon a questionnaire. Please fill out the questionnaire for us, that way we as admin will know who is with us and will know how we can help you and how you might be willing to help us out. We won’t share any information you won’t have given us your blessing for. Most questions are optional to fill in, but few are needed for liability and safety reasons. If you have any questions about it, please contact one of the Sziget family’s admins.
Handout schedule As announced before we will have Sziget Family goodies to hand out to our members. To give anyone the chance to collect something, until we’re out that is, we made a schedule to ensure that. To make sure admin won’t get overrun we made a handout schedule. This will be added to the Sziget family info sheet. You will just be able to collect it from the assigned admin at that time of any of the multiple assigned Sziget family admin at any of the meets. Certain people will receive both for their help with the Sziget family so don’t be amazed when you see someone with both. You will only be able to collect one if you will be part of the Sziget Family WhatsApp Community at a certain time set by the admin a few weeks before the festival because we want to prevent people from joining just for the goodies. You will as well be asked for a photo and your name when you come to collect it and your phone number, so we can check and add you to the admin’s contacts.
Your Sziget Video/photo material Upload your material to the Sziget family OneDrive if you would, any material is welcome. Remember, everything shared is free for the Sziget Family to use. If you want your name reference mentioned when it’s used make sure it’s on the video or picture.
Then last but not least Thanks for hanging in there we hope it has been useful for you. AND If there is anything in a chat or on a Fam channel that you think to be useful or important for an admin to see, tag the Sziget family admin account or send it to it and one of the admins will get back to you as soon as possible if needed.
For the new members since of this might be a bit confusing because they missed earlier announcements this year. If this is the case to you read it back on one if the Fam's socials or reach out to one of the Admin.
Hopefully you all are just as excited about the upcoming Sziget Festival, we for one can't wait to meet all our new members and catch up with the ones we already know!
And remember with the Fam you're never alone!
🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵 Much love from your Fam's Admins 💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎

When I have nightmares about my childhood, it seems to be hidden in less significant events during that time.
Last night for example, I dreamt I was in a computer class in high school with a boy I dated in high school. I logged into an old google account and everything on the screen was me being abused by a family member. I’d type something in and all the images on the image search were of him sexually abusing me in various different places. As I tried to delete these photos, there were pop-ups with more and more of them… then I was at a band trip, and I got in a fight with this kid (who I actually got in many physical altercations with in middle school and high school). Before the fight the band director had been taking orders from the kids for what they wanted to eat and I was the only one who wasn’t asked what I wanted nor could I seem to say anything about it. I was super frustrated and the boy I got in a fight with found it entertaining. The band director stood in between us so we couldn’t fight, so I grabbed his phone off of the counter, and shattered it. I decided to distance myself, and walked into the back of the building. When I got to the back of the building there were different rooms from my childhood. My moms ex-boyfriend’s basement, my grandpas kitchen, my brothers bedroom, the extra room in my first childhood home (which me and my twin sister slept in a lot). As I walked through these rooms, I seen kids walking out from behind curtains and bathroom doors really fast going past me and laughing at me.

So anyway if you don't wanna listen, fuck you. I gotta coupla tree tings to say.
First of all I wanna make clear to alla youse that I bin in this thing FROM THE BEGINNING. First fucking episode, first fucking day alright? I recognised the potential from the start. So don't be giving me no attitude.
What it is, is that this fucking show, this fuck tv progrum has reflected and predicted some bits of my life, and maybe not just by chance but because of a couple dumb choices I made. Or maybe I'm the one who needs to get my head examined, I don't know. Paging Dr Melfi! Fuck that, I couldn't afford her pass me another Zoloft wouldya?
So anyway back where I'm from I got involved in a coupla things, nothing heavy, took a few risks. Never faced no consequences. Then I met this girl. Madone! From the first I was smitten. Thick curly black hair, dark eyes and an ass to die for. My thing was kinda windin down and I was ready for pastures new so we upped and moved back where she's from. Now this is Spain. These muthafuckas don't got things organised the way they do in Italy, but believe you me behind the scenes there's a lot going on. None of that interested me however, I was going straight and that was that. For the most part.
But the fucking family. Now my own family are a shitshow in their own right, but I walked right into a whole thing here.
Let me start with my jagoff brother-in-law. This stoogatz was a lazy fucking chifosa gavone, and a complete bullshit artist to boot. When I met him he seemed to make a living by doing some shit in nightclubs, who knows. He was always with the stories, how he was with a crew of mulignans in London, how he was tight with the Bulgarians that ran all the doors in the city, how he'd been a bodyguard when he was in the army. I didn't give a fuck. All bullshit as far as anyone could tell. So anyway, this is maybe 2002, 2002 and I start buying up the DVD boxsets when they come out. You remember them? You kids these days got know idea how it was back then. I was sick of listening to this motherfucker so I lend the cunt the season 1 box set. Mistake.
Thing is the stoonad really, and I mean really started to identify with it. First of all it was Livia. I mean the asshole was not wrong- his own mother, my mother-in-law, yeah, she was a Livia. God rest her soul she's gone now and there isn't a day I'm not thankful.
Then he watched the episode where Chris and Brendan jack the truck, and fuck me if he doesn't start telling me the very next week how him and his crew jacked a truckload of watches or some shit over the weekend. I just looked at him straight-faced while he tells me THE FUCKING EPISODE but with him as main character. He doesn't bat a fucking eylid, I think, this cunt is deranged, he's fucking loonytunes. I get the impression that while he's telling it, he's really believing it.
Anyway he goes from bad to worse but I'll get onto that.
But now my fucking fawtha-in-law. I mean this guy is a piece of work too. At times he's not around much in those days, as he can't spend all that much time around Livia before he fucks off to Florida, I mean Malaga, or the islands where he's got like two whole other families. This guy made a fuckton of money in the 80s and 90s somehow- I mean, he had legitimate businesses but there was some connected stuff going on too. They ran clubs and parties, and had close friends who did too, and there was even a couple of things about helping out some pretty high up people with looking after associates and stuff at critical moments. Colombians and Gallicians (they are up on the far north west coast and in those days they were bringing it all in that way). But by this time 2000 and whatever, he's past that for the most part, though he still was doing a bit of beach lookout stuff down south and hanging out with some questionable characters for a while. He's the type you know, he can be funny and charming and entertaining, but by and large he's just a fucking toxic narcissist. Used to be a tough guy, but to be honest in Spain they are more about talking about violence than actually doing it. Anyway, muthafucka pointed a gun at me twice, threatened to kill me one time. By this time my wife and I had built a house on the family compound, so after that he had to go away as far as I was concerned. Where I come from you make a threat you gotta be prepared to go through with or face the consequences as if you were gonna. Spanish people talk to much but I'm form where I'm from. So he was gone again, for a few years, till his goomars or whatever the fuck you wanna call them got sick of him and he put the feelers out to be able to come back. I gotta say, the family worked on me and I gave him a pass. We got drunk and high together a coupla tree times and worked it out, for a few years anyways.
So to the fucking brother-in-law. He gives me a ride one time in this car. Cracks open a hiddenc compartment he's got under the glove box, pulls out a pistol. Now this isn't the USA, where that shit is normal. Who knows, maybe it was fake. He's still living in some shithole apartment and from what I can tell conning women into paying for his lifestyle. Who the fuck knows it's all bullshit anyway, but things are obviously moving along for him. One time some friends visit for the weekend and he's around. They need to go to the airport in the morning and he says he going that way and can take them. I warn them they'll be better off taking the train but they go with him anyway. He shows up in full military uniform. Now this asshole did legitmiamtely spend a coulple of years in the military, but he shows up dressed as a major or a general or some shit. In the car on the way my friends are terrified as he drives at about 120mph all the way, weaving in and out of traffic, and all the time he never shuts up. Guy speaks ok English. He tells them how he's in the special forces, and he's getting a helicopter to Afghanistan to do some top secret shit, then coming back the same day. Some fucking helicopter. Turns out he's actually running some con on some poor woman in airport security. Another my brother comes over, he's only like 18 or something. Felipe (my b-i-l) invites him out clubbing. He's clearly at least a little connected as they waltz into every club straight past the line and sit in the VIP area drinking rum and cokes and doing lines. Another time another brother of mine is over (there's a few of us, my dad was Irish and he put it about). Felipe shows up ready for a night out, dressed in black suit, black shirt and some fucking blood red shiny tie, shiny shoes and all. Now me and my brother have had a drink or two, smoked a couple joints already (we went out a nearly got in a fight with some lesbians later that night) and anyway he's a bit of a roughneck fucker. Spent a couple years in the can too, later on. My brother-in-law is trying to be funny, I'm ignoring him, he makes some racist joke which my brother isn't into so he looks him in the eye and asks 'why the fuck you dressed like an extra from a gangster movie?' Fucking stoonad soon leaves. Another time he's like come up to my apartment, and he pulls out a big bag of coke and offers it to me. We do a couple lines, it's junk, no good shit like it always is here and I'm about over that stuff by now anyway, but I spent a while in Colombia and I can hold my own. He tells me he has it because someone owed him money and they gave him it in lieu after having to threaten the guy, so I think huh ok you talk a good game motherfucker let's see what you do. I think my wife is away with the baby at her sister's at this point maybe, at least that's how I wanna remember it. Anyway this shit is cut to fuck and not that strong so I think I'm gonna make the biggest fucking lines and see if we can do all of it and see if he makes a fuss. He makes a noise a couple times but doesn't try and stop me.
At this point I pretty much think it's all just basically cosplay. But then shit gets real. We get a call that he's arrested, locked up. And it's not just some bullshit either. The guy played the lead role in a stick up, dressed as police. The story goes the person they were sticking up was also connected, but I don't know. Anyway he gets caught and the rest of the crew don't, and he spends like three years in jail. His girlfriend comes over night of, telling me all kinds of tall tales, asking me to go with her to his apartment to pick up some shit the next day cos she's afraid to go on her own. My wife's away at this point down at the house by the shore with the kids, and I think about trying something but think nah fuck it, it'll be more hassle than it's worth.
When he comes out, I think he knows he aint got the stones for the carcelary experience really. The one time I go visit him he's got a black eye. Slipped in the shower, he says. I give him Goodfellas, Scarface and The French Connection to watch in there. When he comes out he sets up in the building trade, which is a pretty good way to rip people off if you know how. This goes on for years, he even manages to rip me off at one point but I stiff him on some of what he wants from me so I guess it works out even.
So it's years later. I'm just a working joe basically. We are still on the family compound. The father-in-law is there too, but in another building a little ways away, and my sister in law is also there. We've built a granny flat for Livia, but she doesn't get much time to enjoy it. We're away at the beach and we get the call that my other brother in law has found her floating in the pool. A stroke. Unsurprising really with the way she enjoyed a daily mix of uppers and downers.
Motherfucking Felipe tries to shake us down straightaway. The property was in Livia's sole name, for various legal reasons and her dying really made the shit hit the fan. We tell him fuck you. This is like 4 years ago now, maybe 5.
Since then motherfucker has snitched on the property for whatever the fuck- nothing here was ever exactly legit and up to code, but there's usually ways around stuff unless some motherfucker meddles. Has tried to, pretended to be going to run us down with his car. Has made sundry threats and calumnies to anyone willing to listen. So one night he shows up when we are celebrating something or other round a fire out by the woods. He gets into an argument with my wife and says some things he shouldn't, so I get up in his face and tell him to watch his mouth. He pushes me, like a fucking playground fight, and bad luck I fall back over the picnic table we got set up there. I get up an my wife and fucking daughter, who's like 18 by now are up in his face and he starts pushing them so I punch him in the face. Not a good shot, I'd been drinking 18 year old scotch all night. Mayhem, other guys there separate all of us but he keeps on screaming and raging. One point I pick up an empty vodka bottle but I don't do nothing with it. People manage to push him away, get him to his car but he keep screaming how he's gonna kill me, one time he'll find me on my own down the track (we've got more than a mile of rough country road to get to the compound). The highlight is I'm gonna get put in the trunk, he's had people in the trunk of his car for less. Oh and various slurs, anti-Northern European discrimination I call it.
This is all a couple years ago. Like I said I've got a few brothers. A couple of them we've always said anything heavy needs doing we'll be there for one another. Like I said, one of them did a couple years in the can, another was in the forces for a while, been under fire, shot a couple or tree bad guys in his time.
But I aint done shit, and he aint done shit neither. I sometimes think if I'd a realised the true point of the show that I'd'a run a mile way back when. Or if at least I hadn't lent the motherfucker my box set, things might coulda gone another way.
Fuck it, it's all a big nothing anyways.

Does anyone else feel anxious abd awkward when pricing up a cake/baking request for family and/or friends for an event? Once I price it, I always feel like I should be discounting it... But i do not want to sell myself short... And my time is valuable. Cakes, cupcakes, cookies etc. all take time, skill and experience... But despite knowing these things I am always worried that they will freak out at the price if i charge them what I would charge someone else. Some are fine, some bail, some complain...
Ideas on handling this?