Mortgage loan originator salary
Bay Area Mortgage Expert
2022.02.05 02:56 BayAreaLoanSource Bay Area Mortgage Expert
We are the Bay Area Loan Source, your local Bay Area mortgage professionals. As a licensed mortgage originator, our reputation is built on professionalism, integrity, and the ability to keep transactions on track. We are dedicated to helping our clients obtain a mortgage that fits their specific financial goals. We are passionate about helping our clients and focus on bringing you peace of mind throughout the home financing process.
2016.09.14 00:15 Woody18 Getting out of debt faster then Speedy Gonzales can clear out a cheese factory.
I use to think I would be in debt forever, car loan, student loan, mortgage, etc. It seemed like it would never end and I didn't have enough money at the end of the month to pay off the current debt I had. I was stuck, and unless I could increase my current income even more I was going to be paying off the current debt I had for the next 30+ yrs! But I now know how to pay of $309K of debt with my current salary, and not having to change my life style, in only 9 yrs.
2023.06.06 03:45 ThrowRAthisthingisvl What is the best approach to re-finance?
Hello,
I recently bought a multi-family (3 apartments) for 450k. I’m renting 2 apartments and living in one of them. My mortgage payment is about $3,300. A month I’m paying out of my pocket about $500. My loan is fixed for 30years at a 6% rate. I know, it’s high. How can I approach refinance to try to pay off the mortgage faster? How does that even works? I’m new in this real estate world so I’m looking for information, experience, etc.
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2023.06.06 03:43 ClottageCheese Looking for credit building card
I have:
- Amex BCP $10,000 limit
- Well’s Fargo Active Cash $10,000limit
- Discover it $4,000 limit
No mortgage etc… $5,700 student loans that are paused (as you well know, just waiting to pay off in full once their forgiven or resumed)
3.2 year average age of credit
So 5 total accounts (3 cards, 2 student loans)
7.5% usage
740-755 credit score (I actually don’t know what the best way to find an accurate reading so I just used discover that has me at 744)
With that said, I’m looking for a card that could help build my credit even greater. I have major categories hit: 2% catch all(WFActive), 6% groceries, 3% gas, rotating 1-5% on discover. Any suggestions? Possible travel category — I don’t travel; may be a possibility I have just rack up points to spend?
Thanks for any help!
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2023.06.06 03:35 ashley8976 What is a GC Deposit on a bank statement?
hello, so i was sending my mom money and on her account i saw a large deposit it was titled GC with some numbers. I was wondering if anyone knows what this could be? maybe a mortgage loan? Long shot but i’m just curious since it was a deposit of almost 400k
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2023.06.06 03:35 dakhat7788 Retirement Budget - 70-80% Rule
My spouse and I are in our late 30s and are trying to be a bit more intentional with retirement planning. Does it make sense to use the 70-80% of your current monthly income for retirement costs when we only spend 70% of our net income today?
We expect this number to decrease to 50% when our mortgage and student loans are paid off in 10-15 years. We currently put 10% in our 401Ks, max the HSA, and invest in commercial real estate to diversify our investments so we aren’t particularly worried, more curious what our retirement bar should be. It may influence when we choose to retire (e.g. 55 vs 60 vs 65).
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2023.06.06 03:22 blueflame1015 SDR career trajectory
Hello everyone!
Have been wanting to make this post for a while to get different perspectives and advice. I have been in sales for 5 years, started out in mortgages and then recently pivoted to SaaS in FinTech at a startup. I wanted out of the mortgage industry so I quit my job to complete a 12 week coding boot camp to get into a SWE role. What impacted my decision at the time was that it was getting a lot harder to sell mortgages due to the crazy spikes in interest rates. Being 100% commission in a fluctuating industry with first baby on the way was a kick in the ass to find a more 'stable' career as far as salary and benefits goes. Right after completing my boot camp tech started laying off SWEs like crazy, and was close to impossible to get a job after that.
At that point I decided to try to break into SaaS, since most roles have a base salary + benefits I felt like it was the right pivot since I had a decent amount of sales experience as a closer in the mortgage industry.
After endless applications I was able to get an offer as a SDR from a startup. I took it as they told me 75% of their SDRs were hitting quota, and the path to AE seemed promising. I was hesitant on going from being a closer to now being an appointment setter, but I really needed a job since my family had been living off savings while I was doing the coding bootcamp.
9 months later, I am still an SDR with no talks about path to AE. No one is hitting quota and there is no coaching really on how to get closer to hitting the number. I was counting on the OTE number to be able to live, but at this point it's obvious the number is unrealistic. I feel pretty much on my own at this point so I try my best to stay close to the top.
I enjoy the company other than the lack of support, but I am in a rush to make more money to be able to provide for my family. I accepted the role with the idea I could get into an AE role in 6 months - 1 year time frame.
What suggestions do you have for me? Would really appreciate any input from everyone.
Thank you!
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2023.06.06 03:09 sullycantwell Augie Maniaci cooperating notes
August Maniaci Link:
https://www.maryferrell.org/showDoc.html?docId=95092#relPageId=11&search=caminiti_rockford)
History of the Milwaukee Outfit
-Al Capone was a camorrista and an associate of Masseria and Capone had a large scale gambling and bootlegging operation
-Joe Aiello would gamble at Capone's places, but when he would lose, he would have the gambling operation raided and Aiello's men would take much more money than was lost
-Capone was paying protection to Masseria
-A dispute arose between Masseria and Aiello and Masseria than brought Capone in and made him a capodecina and told Capone to kill Aiello
-In 1926 or 1927, there was a "Appalachian type meeting" (Generale assemblea?) in Pewaukee, Wisconsin. The meetings purpose was to make peace in Chicago, but other families attended
-Tough Tony Capesio was one of the shooters in the St. Valentine's day massacre
-Jack Zutta, a Jewish Aiello associate, was murdered by Capone's gang
-The Milwaukee mafia banned people from helping Aiello.
-Sam Aiello, Joe Caminiti, and Migele Mineo were former Aiello members who fled Chicago to join the Milwaukee family
-Sam Aiello wasn't sympathetic about his brother. Sam returned to Chicago later and was in Jim DiGeorge's crew
-Carl Caputa left Chicago and went to Madison where he became boss. Joe "Joe Pizza Pie" Aiello (unspecified relation to the Joe Capone wared with) went with Caputa to Madison
-Milwaukee didn't try to extort any gamblers until Sam Ferrara
-Al Capone was Neopolitan, the next boss was Tony Accardo who was "Thelast Sicilian to be an important boss," Accardo was succeeded by a Neopolotan Sam Giancana (Pretty sure this info is wrong)
-Chicago outfit was a "Money grabbing operation" where only a few leaders profit "at the expense of the general membership" this had an effect on Milwaukee
-Chicago took over Milwaukee in 1952
-Sam Ferrara wanted to have a piece of the Ogden social club which was a gambling place that Frank Balistrieri had a piece on and Balistieri was Son-In-Law to John Alioto. Balistrieri said no to Ferrara and then Ferrara shelved Balistrieri. Milwaukee then asked Chicago to help them with all the trouble.
-A general meeting was held in 1952; Tony Accardo, Rocco Fischetti, and Sam Giancana attended. Sam Ferrara was taken down as boss and replaced by John Alioto
-Alioto reinstated Balistrieri and made him a capodecina
-While Alioto was boss, no gamblers or businessmen were extorted
-John DiTrapani was a capodecina who didn't like Alioto, so he said he would spend $90,000 and even was willing to finance some murders
-One of DiTrapani's friends "Pasternak" lost a lot of money gambling with the outfit and DiTrapani made it known he was very upset
-Furthermore, Alioto heard about Ditrapani's plans to become boss and this sealed DiTrapani's fate
-Chicago were the ones who ordered DiTrapani's murder, not Alioto
-DiTrapani and Frank LaGalbo (a member and DiTrapani associate) were called to a meeting by the Chicago outfit. The meeting was going to be in Milwaukee though.
-LaGalbo warned DiTrapani not to go. LaGabo himself wasn't going to go.
-DiTrapani went anyway and on March 16, 1954 he was murdered. the following day he was found shot in his car
-LaGalbo was very well connected to Chicago and he set up a transfer where he would be in the Chicago family in the decina of Frank LaPorte
-LaPorte was centered in Chicago Heights
-Jack Enea was also apart of the faction that wanted Alioto taken down as boss. he wasn't killed until November, 1954 (Chicago authorized it)
-In January of 1962, Joe Alioto retired and Frank P. Balistrieri took over, Alioto was upset about this. Alioto apparently felt it should've gone to an older man
-furthermore, Alioto was upset that Balistrieri had an affair with his wife's cousin
-Balistrieri began shaking down gamblers and businessmen
-Balistrieri was collecting $500-$600 from Bruno Ramazini and John Volpe who ran the Holiday House
-Despite not collecting from Frank and Jimmy Fazio who ran restaurants, there was an incident where a bomb went off. After this, Balistrieri went to Florida and when he came back he said that they had a piece of Jimmy Fazio's place in Fort Lauderdale
-Balistrieri was not liked by older members because he never consulted with anyone before making decisions and Maniaci even said it would not surprise him if Balistrieri was murdered. Maniaci said if anyone were to kill Balistrieri, it would be the outfit
II. Organization and Leadership -The 1957 Apalachin meeting was due to Albert Anastasia taking forcible action which affected other bosses without telling them.
-Anastasia was killed due to the disappearance of two unnamed men
-John Alioto and Frank Balistrieri were going to go to Apalachin but didnt at the last moment. Also, attendance was not mandatory at Apalachin
-Maniaci didn't know too much about the commission or its structure, but he said it had around 7 members and though he doesn't know if there is a "boss of bosses," if anyone was it would be Giancana (clearly shows his midwest bias)
-Giancana had control over Madison, Rockford, and Springfield
-Balistrieri went to Chicago periodically for meetings with Giancana, Battaglia, or capodecina Felix "Milwaukee Phil" Alderisio. These meeting were at the underboss Sam Battaglia's farm
-occassionally, Balistrieri would meet with Alderisio, Battaglia, and Marshal Caifano in a Milwaukee hotel
-Ralph Capone of Mercer, Wisconsin isn't connected with Milwaukee or Chicago
-At one point, the Pfister hotel manager Marvin Billet made a deal and Kansas City member Sebastian "Buster" Balestrere (who was "imported" to Milwaukee along with Joseph Gurera for the purpose of shaking bookmakers and businessmen down) found out and this led to Balestrere having leverage over Billet. Eventually, the Fox Head Brewery bought a hotel in Jamiaca and Buster made Billet manager. Balistrieri asked Giancana if he wanted to "take over a large gambling casino in the hotel." Billet lost the managorial position and their plan didn't work.
-Balistrieri is involved in the Continental Music Company.
-The chicago outfit may have 500 members (this is wrong as they may not have had 100 at their peak, though it shows how the smaller families saw them)
-Sam Giancana is the boss, Sam "Teets" Battaglia is the underboss, and the following are capodecina: Felix Alderisio, Marshal Caifano, Frank LaPorte, Tony Maccalucci (ph), and Ross Prio
-Ross Prio is a north side leader who was originally in Jim DiGeorge's crew
-Maniaci heard complaints that people are upset in Chicago that only a few are making money. Also, they are upset that Sam Giancana "is too much of a playboy." CI also advised that John Cerone may be Giancana's successor. Cerone is very close to Tony Accardo
-Frank Balistrieri is related to former Kansas City boss James "Big Jim" Balistrieri (It appears his real last name was Balestrere, though his fathers last name was Balistrieri)
-Joseph Cusimano and Joe Jellosa (or Jealouso) are two Kansas City members who have visited Milwaukee in the past
-The Kansas City import Joseph Gurera was said to have killed two politicians (clearly referring to the infamous hit that left Charles Binaggio and Charles Gargotta dead)
-Balistrieri made Gurera a capodecina and Buster Balestrere worked under him. Both members went back to Kansas City in 1963 after pressure was put on Milwaukee for Anthony Biernat's murder
-On April 18, 1964 Peter Balistrieri's (Frank's brother) daughter married Leonard Drewek, a non-Italian. John Molle, Buster Balestrere, and Jim Balestrere (Not made) all went to the wedding
-Peter Balistrieri is a capodecina
-Rockford's boss is Joseph Zummutto, the underboss is Frank Bucemi, and the consigliere is Joseph Zitto. (FNU) Caltegerone is a member who's old and used to be close to Milwaukee capodecina Pasquale Migliaccio. Caltergerone may be a reference to Carl "Charlie Vince" Caltegerone
-Madison, Wisconsin has 10-15 members. The boss is Carl Caputo and Joseph "Joe Pizza Pie" Aiello is a member. Both are wealthy with real estate investments.
-Benny DeSalvo was a capodecina in Madison, but died in February of 1964 at 84 years old. He was buried in Chicago
-The following is the boss succession of Milwaukee: Vito Guardalabene (Nicola Gentile reported Joseph Vallone was the underboss in 1915) Peter Guardalabene (Son of Vito) Joseph "Big Joe" Amato Joseph Vallone (Boss from mid 1920's-mid 1930's) Joseph Gumina was the underboss to Vallone (also says Gumina was capodecina, maybe he controlled a crew along with being consigliere) Charles Zarcone was the consigliere Pasquale Migliaccio was a capodecina Migele Mineo was a capodecina Tom Lucua (ph) was a capodecina Sam Ferrara (Mid 1930's-1952) Joe Gumina was the underboss (again lists him as capo too) Charles Zarcone is listed as consigliere Pasquale Migliaccio was a capodecina Migele Mineo was a capodecina Joseph Caminiti is also a captain (may have been captain under Vallone as well) John Alioto (1952-1962) Joe Gumina was the underboss (again lists him as capo too) Migele Mineo was a capodecina John DiTrapani was a capodecina until his murder in 1954 Pasquale Migliaccio was a capodecina Frank Balistrieri was a capodecina as well Frank Balistrieri (1962-time document was typed) appears he had no underboss Charles Zarcone would be consigliere if Balistrieri had one, Maniaci doesn't know if he actually was though John Alioto was a capodecina and had the older members in his crew Peter Balistrieri was a capodecina "who has active members under his direction" -Older members are displeased with Balistrieri for not consulting any members and making Joseph Gurera (Kansas City) a capodecina instead of a local member
-Older members blame Balistrieri for the publicity LCN is getting due to Anthony Biernat's murder also there's resentment because no one is making money
-Maniaci said he wouldn't be surprised if they killed Balistrieri one day
-On January 4th, 14th, and the 31st Balistrieri held parties at Gallagher's restaurant in an attempt to get the opposite faction to like him. He planned to have another similar meeting a month later. He also assured the members that jobs would soon open up and he gave Vito Aiello, John Aiello, and Maniaci himself jobs at gambling places.
-Balistrieri is very cautious in regards to his personal movements
-Another CI reported the meeting at Gallagher's was to fix the bad feelings between Myron Jennaro and Paul Bogosian who are both associates of the Milwaukee family
-the following is the structure according to Maniaci: capo: boss sottocapo: Italian not Sicilian term for underboss "consuleri": (see previous comment about spelling) the consigliere is the counselor who is usually an older member capodecina: heads a crew, means "head of ten", but members sometimes have 50 members in their crew (or in some cases zero members) No mention of soldiers
-the following are popular terms used by members: Amico Nostro: friend of ours; used by fellow members to indicate someones a member avugad: means lawyer, Maniaci said there's no significance as a term in Milwaukee, but it probably was just not for low level members. Normally the avugad is a representative on the commission. for example, Milwaukee's avugad would've been Chicago's boss cumpare: means godfather; used to show closeness to someone don: Italian term of respect, not a mafia term onorata: means honor, Maniaci said he's never heard the mafia called onorata society which many sources have reported omerta: Maniaci said it's to express any qualities in the word "manly" sagia: "chair, committee of boss, underboss, consuleri [sic], and capodecina [sic] Tourna: general meeting where all members attend; for an important reason
-the following are members of Milwaukee identified by Maniaci: John Aiello: made under Ferrara Vito Aiello: Made under Ferrara John Alioto: Made under Guardalabene, was boss then capodecina Albert Albana: Suspect in Biernat's murder and was made a month after in January 1963 Mike Albano: Runs Angelo's Pizzaria, long time member
III. Membership -John Alioto did not make any members, but Vallone, Ferrara, and Balistrieri did. (which must've happened when the books were closed either suggesting the midwest didn't follow this or he did it on the sly)
-To be made originally, you had to be Sicilian, but they switched it to just be full Italian
-Members don't have to kill, but this has been a rule in the past, to be made
-Associates are proposed by a made member who knows the associates potential. In the past, the name would go around to all members and if they objected, he couldn't be made
-the associate could cooperate with law enforcement to be made
-in the past, all members had to be present at the initiation ceremonies (Maniaci calls them "tourna" meaning a general membership meeting). They no longer do that though
-The Biernat murderers were alleged to be Steve DeSalvo, Dominic Principe, and Albert Albana. DeSalvo contacted Biernat before the killing
-during the making ceremony, both the proposed member and his sponser's fingers are pricked and their blood is mixed. Then everyone present joins hands and a picture of a saint is burned (presumably in the proposed members hand) and the proposed member takes an oath in Italian to put the organization over everything including family and religion
-Members must obey all orders under threat of death
-No members can deal drugs or they will be killed
-Members need permission before engaging in something that may affect another member
-In the past disputes between members were taken before the "Sagia" (This is also called the Seggia, consiglio, or the Sicilian term consignu)
-The "Sagia'' was composed of a boss, underboss, "consuleri", and the capodecina (the term "consuleri" suggests multiple consigliere, but the document has used the singular and plural terms interchangeably. traditionally, the consiglio had multiple consigliere though. Also "capodecina" suggests one captain, which wouldn't really make sense in the context so it can be assumed they mean all capidecina in the family)
-Balistrieri no longer consults anyone except Chicago and only for big issues
-Maniaci named the following as members of the LCN family in Milwaukee (these are just from memory): John Aiello: Made under Ferrara Vito Aiello: Made under Ferrara; John Aiello's brother John Alioto: Made under Vito Guardalabene; capodecina Albert Albana: Made in early 1964, after the murder of Anthony Biernat Mike Albano: Runs Angelo's Pizzaria; long time member Tony Albano: Mike's uncle; retired Frank Balistrieri: boss; made with John DiTrapani; in Joe Ferrara's crew?; Made capodecina under John Alioto Joseph Balistrieri: Frank's dad; longtime member Peter Balistrieri: Frank's brother; capodecina Joseph Caminiti: Secretary treasurer of Local 257; made in Chicago under Joe Aiello; came to Milwaukee during Aiello-Capone war; bootlegger during prohibition; capodeinca under Vallone and Ferrara; Balistrieri's closest confidant even closer to Frank than Peter; Married to John Alioto's daughter Harry DeAngelo: Ferrara didn't like him; made in 1963; works sanitation or garbage department; 55 years old Carl Di Maggio: long time soldier Salvatore DiMaggio: Carlo's son; burglar eith extesnive record; made under Ferrara Benny DeSalvo: Made in 1963; nephew of old Madison boss Benny DeSalvo who died in 1964; lived in New York for a while but moved back to Milwaukee and went into construction Steve DeSalvo: Close to Balistrieri; primary suspect in Biernat murder; made one month after the murder Sam Ferrara: former boss; operates liquor store; inactive Joseph Gumina; underboss and capodecina under Vallone, Ferrara, and Alioto; he was a boxer after coming to America; bootlegger and then worked at A.O. Smith corp.; capable of murder; his son married Ferrara's daughter August Maniaci: Long time soldier Santo Marino: Brother-in-law to Ferrara; not active; operates tevern Migele "Mike" Mineo: Made in chicago; came to Milwaukee during Aiello-Capone war; capodecina under Vallone, Ferrara, and Alioto; employed by Schlitz Brewery John Pernice: former bootlegger; unemployed; not known to hold leadership position Dominic Principe: Another Biernat murder suspect; made following murder; lives in Illinois Joe Rizzo: inactive; worked as bartender in multiple places Vito Seidita: inactive; 55 years old; works for city of Milwaukee, maybe in street department Joseph Spero: inactive; works for city of Milwaukee, maybe in garbage department Charles Zarcone: consigliere during Vallone, Ferrara, and Alioto; may be consigliere under Balistrieri, but Maniaci doesnt know
Maniaci also listed the following as members affiliated with other families that live in Milwaukee: Frank LaGalbo: runs Chico's restaurant; was supposed to be killed along with DiTrapani; transfered to Chicago under Frank LaPorte John DiBella: member from Italy; close to Joe Bonanno; head of Grande Cheese Company Ralph "bottles" Capone: Chicago member; no importance in the underworld James DiGeorge: operates stock farm; owns land in Adams county, Wisconsin; former capodecina of North Chicago; years ago he was supposed to be killed, but got a pass; lives in exile in Wisconsin (likely shelved)
-Maniaci said that even your immidiate family may not know your made and it's typical for people to keep their sons out of the mafia
Maniaci named the following as people not members of Milwaukee, but closely associated with Milwaukee: Walter "Walter Blackie" Brocca: worked forvarious businesses on behalf of Frank Balistrieri Tony Bruno: No member of Bruno's family has ever been a member Sam Cefalu: gambler; lives at 1606 North Jackson; employed by Balistrieri Sam Cefalu: lives at 3461 North Cramer; not related to the other Sam Cefalu; worked for Balistrieri in a gambling office Anthony "Sheriff Cefalu" Cefalu: Brother of Sam (doesnt say which one); employed as gambler Gus Chiaverotti: Working for Frank Balistrieri in Continental Music Co.; closely associates with Balistrieri Sam DaQuista: No other DaQuista family member has been connected Joe Dentice: No Dentice has been a member Dominic Frinzi: Lawyer for Milwaukee mafia Nick Fugarino: closely associates with LCN Ted Gagliano: Gambler Nick Gentile (Doesnt specify if its Nicola Gentile, the one who wrote a book): not a member, but associates with LCN Joseph Guarniere: not a member Dr. Vito Guardalabene: Son of former boss Pete; no living Guardalabene is a member of mafia Danny Lampone: No Lampones are made Tony LaRosa: associated with LCN, not member Sam Librizzi: Gambling LCN associate Tony and Tom Machi: gamblers John Mandella: not a member Vincent Mercurio: not a member John Percurio: creditor to Frank Balistrieri who he's related to Tom Piscitello: not a member John and Joe Piscuine: Gamblers; no Piscuine's have been members Bruno Ramazini: former operator of Holiday House Frank "Big foot Hogan" Sansone: gambler; runs a restaurant Joe Sardino: no other Sardino's are connected with LCN Tom Sorce: Gambler Frank Stelloh: Close to Frank Balistrieri and Steve DeSalvo; non Italian, so couldn't be made Nick Tarantino: "very close" and trusted by Frank Balistrieri; couldn't be made because he helped police in a burglary investigation, this was well known to LCN John Triliegi: LCN associate Sam Vermiglio: former head of a counterfeit cigarette stamp ring; deals drugs; murdered John Volpe: runs the Holiday house
-An informant, possibly Maniaci, advised in 1964 tht Frank Balistrieri has a share in William Covelli's gambling operation (CI doesnt say, but Covelli may have been made)
-Aforementioned informant said Balistrieri also has a share in John Rizzo's bookmaking operation. Al Albana is the one who brings the money from Rizzo and Covelli to Balistrieri
-Both Maniaci and another CI reported that Balistrieri, Rizzo, and Covelli thought about buting a Key Club in Park City, Illinois. Maniaci said that if Balistrieri was serious, he would have to talk to Chicago first since its their terretory
-On April 5, 1964 CI (aforementioned informant, probably not Maniaci) advised that he expected Buster Balestrere and Joe Gurera were expected to come back to Milwaukee before June of 1964. They are coming back to act as hosts in a big crap game. Nick Tarantino would be a treasurer in the game. Frank Balistrieri will own the game and Buster Balestrere will be pit boss and host. The reasoning for starting the game was it would make a lot of money and wouldn't violate a federal law.
-Sam Cefalu and Sam Librizzi run a gambling office recieving a line from out of state, this is the only out of state line. Sam Dentice is a runner for the operation. Anthony "Sheriff Cefalu" Cefalu used to be involved, but is inactive
-a CI advised that 70% of gamblers are represented by Dominic Frinzi. Frinzi has represented Anthony Cefalu, Charles Piscuine, Robert Pick, William Cole, Steve Halmo, and Harvey Wach
-A CI advised on March 7, 1964 members of "Chicago and Miami outfits" (maybe meaning Tampa) were trying to build a motel in the bahamas. Balistrieri was going to have a 5% interest in it
-A different CI advised that Giancana was interested in a casino at Cat Cay in the Bahamas.
-Ben Novac owned the Fountainbleu Hotel in Miami and was a close associate of Chicago and New York LCN. He applied for a license to operate a casino in the Bahamas in April of 1964 and was denied due to his financial ties to gangsters
-a CI (probably Maniaci) reported on April 3, 1964 that Balistrieri and former capodecina, but current soldier Joe Caminiti had a meeting where they discussed the Milwaukee Police Department (MPD). Balistrieri said he helped get cheif of police Harold Breter into office. Blaistrieri said he felt the MPD was trying to put heat on him by arresting young people who frequented Gallagher's restaurant and they surveilled LCN members. Balistrieri met with inspector Kremsreiter who was the number 3 man in the MPD. Kremsreiter and Balistrieri met at Fazio's and had lunch. At lunch, Balistrieri suggested that the MPD should stay away from his kind and that there are not enough police to be just focusing on him. Balistrieri told Caminiti that he was happy with how it went.
-Frank Ranney is a secretary-treasurer of Teamsters local 200 and is very close to Balistrieri even working together at Atomic Industries, a bubble gum company
-An informant advised on March 24, 1964 that Balistrieri, Frank Ranney, and Joe Caminiti met at Fazio's. The informant said Balistrieri had "some form of domination over Ranney"
-One CI stated that Balistrieri is connected to Jimmy Hoffa and could get a multi-million dollar loan to build a motel in Milwaukee.
-Tony Volpe is connected with Chicago and has access to the money from the welfare and pension fund of the teamster union in Chicago and that many Las Vegas casinos have been financed with the money.
-On April 3, 1964, a CI (or wiretap) reported that Joe Caminiti and Frank Balistrieri had a meeting where they discussed "the disposition of money supplied by the Teamsters to Frank Balistrieri for distribution to some of the candidates for Alderman in the City of Milwaukee." Caminiti told Balistrieri he'll advise the candidates that they are backed by the teamsters.
-During the same meeting Caminiti insuled Robert Kennedy saying he operated a gestapo. They also talked about a speech Congressman Alvin O'Konski gave talking good about Jimmy Hoffa. The Teamsters gave money to O'Konski and Senator Morse (ph) for political purposes
-Caminiti said Robert Kennedy infringes on civil liberties, this was after O'Konski told him about an investigation coming by the DOJ
-Caminiti also said that the Teamsters had trouble getting the poney to pay for Jimmy Hoffa's legal expenses. Out of 35 locals in Wisconsin, 20 wouldn't pass anything in support of paying. Because of this, they decided they would take the money out of the joint counsil, meaning every member will pay .05-.10 cents
-Joe Caminiti told Frank Balistrieri that Frank Ranney said to be careful giving money to Alderman Allen L. Calhoun. This was due to when Calhoun once moved districts, he came into conflict with Al Hass who was close to the Milwaukee LCN. Balistrieri already knew and met with Calhoun and told him that Hass is who they're most loyal too, but they will support whoever won. Balistrieri gave cash to Calhoun as an unreported donation
-Balistrieri gave a donation to Art Else, who's opponent was Henry Maier. Balistrieri gave Else the donation at Gallagher's restaurant.
-Angelo Provinzano was a member of the city service commission who was mobbed up. Balistrieri gave money to Provinzano who then donated money to mob backed candidates. Provinzano donated $995 to mayor Henry Maier. Provinzano also was used in the past to get Italians in positions in the city government and police department. Informant said Provinzano wasn't made
-On April 17, 1964, Dominic Frinzi (mob attorney) was going to run for governor and the mafia backed him. Frinzi himself wasn't confident he could win, but it would give him publicity which he could later use to become a judge
-Anthony Biernat was found buried in a cellar of an abandoned farm sprinkled with lime, but it wasn't the right kind which would disintegrate a body
-Frank Balistrieri partly owns The Pitch Specialty Co. Balistrieri's relative Peter Picciuro operated the business. His father John Picciuro also has a piece or co-owns it.
-Carl Dentice has a jukebox operation in his name for Frank Balistrieri
-Sam Dentice got a jukebox license under his name for Balistrieri
-Peter Sciotino's bakery was targeted in a bombing because of Balistrieri's shakedown campaign. Sciortino was personally connected to Joe Bonanno in some way and ended up not having to pay. Sciortino himself wasn't a LCN member
-Balistrieri's shakedown campaign began in the summer of 1962 with Joseph Gurera and Buster Balestrere shaking businessmen and gamblers down. Some people did resist so Balistrieri wanted to send a message. They were going to kill either Bill Cole or Bobby Pick, but when LE found out they stopped trying.
-An informant though Tony LaRosa might be killed because it was said the Milwaukee family heard he gave information to LE
-In may of 1964, an informant said that Steve DeSalvo and Frank Stelloh now operated as musclemen for Balistrieri. They even planned to murder someone who the informant didn't know.
-The informant thought the murder target may have been Izzy Tocco who was a booker for Sam Cefalu and got in trouble, but the informant thought that this would be too little a reason to murder someone
-A different informant supplied information suggesting the murder target may be Joe Beck. Beck was making complaints against the Continental Sales Co. Balistrieri made comments to the acting manager Gus Chiaverotti where he expressed his anger against Beck.
-An informant advised on April 10, 1964 that he heard a story about a Milwaukee gangster being offered $5,000 by the Chicago LCN "to make a hit" on a prominent businessman who was made. The reasoning was because the man owed the Chicago family between $18,000-$20,000. The man either stole the money or bet and lost the outfit's money
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sullycantwell to
Mafia [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 03:08 Qd8Scandi My Mortgage Broker is having me fill out the loan application and said to not add too many asset details - is this standard?
He seemed to be comfortable with my situation and said the less I need to prove you qualify the better. Is this standard? I want to make sure I’m not being taken advantage of since I don’t know any better
All I added was my rough bank account amount and salary. I have other small bank account and a 401k (wouldn’t use on down payment) as well
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FirstTimeHomeBuyer [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 03:01 redditPOTUS2024 Platform Iteration #4
Income Taxes
-no changes for individuals making equal to or less than the standard deduction
-a 2% tax cut for income earned within the 10%, 12%, 22%, 24%, 32%, and 35% tax brackets above the standard deduction: adjusted brackets with 8%, 10%, 20%, 22%, 30%, and 33% and respectively
-a 2% increase for income earned above the 37% tax bracket threshold ($539,901 for a single filer status for the 2023 tax year) : adjusted bracket with 39% tax rate
-creation of an 8th tax bracket 45% for regular income above $3,000,000
Capital Gains Taxes
-no changes in short term and long term capital gains taxation for individuals with total income including regular income and capital gains below $3,000,000
-an increase to 45% tax rate for long term capitals gains for individuals earning above $3,000,000 per year
Federal Debt
-stabilization and reduction of the federal debt
Education
-discontinuation of future federal student loans for students attending all private institutions, public institutions with greater than $1billion in endowment, or public institutions with any institutional employee making greater than $1 million per year
-an increase in department of education funding including grants to state school systems meeting certain criteria, such as no employees including superintendents making over $200,000 per year while working for the public school system
Military and Defense
-a reduction in military and defense spending
-a cap on military contracts with organizations in which executives receive equal to or greater than $3,000,000 in regular and/or stock based compensation per year while the business does at least 50% of its revenue in government related contracts
Minimum Wage
-pegged to inflation, including retroactively for inflation since the last increase of the federal minimum wage in 2009
Worker's Rights
-federal legislation supporting at least 4 weeks paid vacation for employees of companies with profit margins greater than 10% and/or executives with salaries greater than $3,000,000 in regular and stock based compensation
Congressional Term Limits
-senate limit of 2 consecutive 6-year terms (12 years). no total term limit. after 1 term (6 year) absence senators may rerun for another term (s) not to exceed to 2 consecutive terms
-house of representatives limit of 6 consecutive 2-year terms (12 years). no total term limit. after 3 term (6 year) absence former representatives may rerun for another term (s) not to exceed 6 consecutive term limits
Government Accountability
-increased government accountability and financial reporting requirements
-a ban on stock based trading for members of the executive branch, Senate, House of Representatives, Supreme Court, and Federal Reserve and their immediate families while in office
-speaking fees and book royalties due to members of the executive branch, Senate, House of Representatives, Supreme Court, and Federal Reserve for services performed while holding public office will be forfeited 100% to the United States Government
Campaign Funding
-federal legislation banning individuals or organizations from contributing greater than 1% of a candidate's overall funding if funding exceeds $1,000,000 total at any point during the candidate's campaign for office
Immigration
-strengthened border control
-expedited naturalization for immigrants without criminal histories
Criminal Justice
-continued legality of the death penalty at the federal level with individualization deferred to the states
-closure and elimination of for profit penitentiaries
Gun Control
-universal background checks at both private and public sales
-no assault rifle ban
-increased liability at the federal level for the seller of arms if the arms sold are identified as the weapon used in a future crime involving murder or bodily harm to another individual
Energy
-energy independence derived from the United States' own energy production and its energy trade with North American partners Canada and Mexico
-continued push toward renewable energy
Foreign Aid and Policy
-a reduction in foreign financial aid
-peace brokering between Ukraine and Russia
Nuclear Arms
-continued advocacy of nuclear arms nonproliferation
Healthcare
-executive salary caps at nonprofit health institutions receiving special tax status
-federal legislation to decrease health insurance costs and healthcare costs
-an increased excise tax administered on tobacco products
Abortion
-legality and legislation delegated to the individual states
-federal legislation prohibiting discrimination or criminal punishment of women in states where abortion is illegal who seek and have abortions performed in states where abortion is legal
Marijuana
-legalization of recreational marijuana at the federal level with establishment of legal blood level limits while using public property such as roads and buildings
-a federal excised tax administered on marijuana products sold
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2023.06.06 03:00 Powerful-Equal-7012 LOOKING FOR CREDIT SCORE FIX
A bad credit score can make life very frustrating and a bit more difficult than it should be. Fortunately for me, I figured out how to fix mine months after looking for different means to fix it. Bad credit score causes a lot of roadblocks such as rejection of loans and lines of credit (including car loans, mortgages, student loans, personnel loans, etc), difficulty in getting retail application approved, difficulty in getting a new cell phone contract, difficulty in making required security deposits, employee background check issues, higher insurance premiums in some states. Trust me, I used to face most of these roadblocks but thanks to a highly prolific hacker I hired, I was able to quickly increase my credit score and I’m still enjoying the benefit to date.
Contact
SWIFTTECHHACK AT GMAIL DOT COM
WHATSAPP: +1 (330) 850 1777
TEXT: +1 (330) 850 1777
Many services he can render include: Social Media Hack ( Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, Twitter, Viber, Tiktok, Tinder etc.), GPS Location Tracking, Recovering of lost bitcoin/ bitcoin account, Incoming calls Restriction, Intercepting and Retrieving Instant Messages, Grade Hacking, Credit Score Increase, USSD Control Commands, WhatsApp Spy, Viber Spy, Facebook/Messenger Spy, Skype Spy, Hacking into Databases of all kinds, Calendar Monitoring, Internet Usage Monitoring, Remotely Accessing SMS, Game Hacking and Cracking, Key Logging, Remote Email Spying, and more. What made me had trust in him was his offer of total Refund of any displeasing services but i didn't have to use that Choice.
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Powerful-Equal-7012 to
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2023.06.06 02:59 Powerful-Equal-7012 LOOKING FOR CREDIT SCORE FIX
A bad credit score can make life very frustrating and a bit more difficult than it should be. Fortunately for me, I figured out how to fix mine months after looking for different means to fix it. Bad credit score causes a lot of roadblocks such as rejection of loans and lines of credit (including car loans, mortgages, student loans, personnel loans, etc), difficulty in getting retail application approved, difficulty in getting a new cell phone contract, difficulty in making required security deposits, employee background check issues, higher insurance premiums in some states. Trust me, I used to face most of these roadblocks but thanks to a highly prolific hacker I hired, I was able to quickly increase my credit score and I’m still enjoying the benefit to date.
Contact
SWIFTTECHHACK AT GMAIL DOT COM
WHATSAPP: +1 (330) 850 1777
TEXT: +1 (330) 850 1777
Many services he can render include: Social Media Hack ( Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, Twitter, Viber, Tiktok, Tinder etc.), GPS Location Tracking, Recovering of lost bitcoin/ bitcoin account, Incoming calls Restriction, Intercepting and Retrieving Instant Messages, Grade Hacking, Credit Score Increase, USSD Control Commands, WhatsApp Spy, Viber Spy, Facebook/Messenger Spy, Skype Spy, Hacking into Databases of all kinds, Calendar Monitoring, Internet Usage Monitoring, Remotely Accessing SMS, Game Hacking and Cracking, Key Logging, Remote Email Spying, and more. What made me had trust in him was his offer of total Refund of any displeasing services but i didn't have to use that Choice.
submitted by
Powerful-Equal-7012 to
u/Powerful-Equal-7012 [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:59 Powerful-Equal-7012 LOOKING FOR CREDIT SCORE FIX
A bad credit score can make life very frustrating and a bit more difficult than it should be. Fortunately for me, I figured out how to fix mine months after looking for different means to fix it. Bad credit score causes a lot of roadblocks such as rejection of loans and lines of credit (including car loans, mortgages, student loans, personnel loans, etc), difficulty in getting retail application approved, difficulty in getting a new cell phone contract, difficulty in making required security deposits, employee background check issues, higher insurance premiums in some states. Trust me, I used to face most of these roadblocks but thanks to a highly prolific hacker I hired, I was able to quickly increase my credit score and I’m still enjoying the benefit to date.
Contact
SWIFTTECHHACK AT GMAIL DOT COM
WHATSAPP: +1 (330) 850 1777
TEXT: +1 (330) 850 1777
Many services he can render include: Social Media Hack ( Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, Twitter, Viber, Tiktok, Tinder etc.), GPS Location Tracking, Recovering of lost bitcoin/ bitcoin account, Incoming calls Restriction, Intercepting and Retrieving Instant Messages, Grade Hacking, Credit Score Increase, USSD Control Commands, WhatsApp Spy, Viber Spy, Facebook/Messenger Spy, Skype Spy, Hacking into Databases of all kinds, Calendar Monitoring, Internet Usage Monitoring, Remotely Accessing SMS, Game Hacking and Cracking, Key Logging, Remote Email Spying, and more. What made me had trust in him was his offer of total Refund of any displeasing services but i didn't have to use that Choice.
submitted by
Powerful-Equal-7012 to
u/Powerful-Equal-7012 [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:58 Powerful-Equal-7012 LOOKING FOR CREDIT SCORE FIX
A bad credit score can make life very frustrating and a bit more difficult than it should be. Fortunately for me, I figured out how to fix mine months after looking for different means to fix it. Bad credit score causes a lot of roadblocks such as rejection of loans and lines of credit (including car loans, mortgages, student loans, personnel loans, etc), difficulty in getting retail application approved, difficulty in getting a new cell phone contract, difficulty in making required security deposits, employee background check issues, higher insurance premiums in some states. Trust me, I used to face most of these roadblocks but thanks to a highly prolific hacker I hired, I was able to quickly increase my credit score and I’m still enjoying the benefit to date.
Contact
SWIFTTECHHACK AT GMAIL DOT COM
WHATSAPP: +1 (330) 850 1777
TEXT: +1 (330) 850 1777
Many services he can render include: Social Media Hack ( Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, Twitter, Viber, Tiktok, Tinder etc.), GPS Location Tracking, Recovering of lost bitcoin/ bitcoin account, Incoming calls Restriction, Intercepting and Retrieving Instant Messages, Grade Hacking, Credit Score Increase, USSD Control Commands, WhatsApp Spy, Viber Spy, Facebook/Messenger Spy, Skype Spy, Hacking into Databases of all kinds, Calendar Monitoring, Internet Usage Monitoring, Remotely Accessing SMS, Game Hacking and Cracking, Key Logging, Remote Email Spying, and more. What made me had trust in him was his offer of total Refund of any displeasing services but i didn't have to use that Choice.
submitted by
Powerful-Equal-7012 to
u/Powerful-Equal-7012 [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:58 mrufd Pay off part of student loans with Roth contributions?
I am 23, make about 90k yearly after bonus. I have a house and mortgage is $900/month and car payment of $200/ month. One of my parents took parent plus loans for me and the balance is approximately 68k. I have federal loans in my name for about 22k. I have about 4500 in a Roth IRA that I contribute to each month. Would it be smarter to use the Roth balance to pay down one of the loans or leave the money in the Roth?
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mrufd to
personalfinance [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:58 Powerful-Equal-7012 LOOKING FOR CREDIT SCORE FIX
A bad credit score can make life very frustrating and a bit more difficult than it should be. Fortunately for me, I figured out how to fix mine months after looking for different means to fix it. Bad credit score causes a lot of roadblocks such as rejection of loans and lines of credit (including car loans, mortgages, student loans, personnel loans, etc), difficulty in getting retail application approved, difficulty in getting a new cell phone contract, difficulty in making required security deposits, employee background check issues, higher insurance premiums in some states. Trust me, I used to face most of these roadblocks but thanks to a highly prolific hacker I hired, I was able to quickly increase my credit score and I’m still enjoying the benefit to date.
Contact
SWIFTTECHHACK AT GMAIL DOT COM
WHATSAPP: +1 (330) 850 1777
TEXT: +1 (330) 850 1777
Many services he can render include: Social Media Hack ( Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, Twitter, Viber, Tiktok, Tinder etc.), GPS Location Tracking, Recovering of lost bitcoin/ bitcoin account, Incoming calls Restriction, Intercepting and Retrieving Instant Messages, Grade Hacking, Credit Score Increase, USSD Control Commands, WhatsApp Spy, Viber Spy, Facebook/Messenger Spy, Skype Spy, Hacking into Databases of all kinds, Calendar Monitoring, Internet Usage Monitoring, Remotely Accessing SMS, Game Hacking and Cracking, Key Logging, Remote Email Spying, and more. What made me had trust in him was his offer of total Refund of any displeasing services but i didn't have to use that Choice.
submitted by
Powerful-Equal-7012 to
u/Powerful-Equal-7012 [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:49 wineraq Buying house before final
My wife and I are legally separating. In AZ, basically the exact same thing as a divorce, we’re just still married and she can hang on to my health insurance a bit longer.
She’s agreed to not do common property, and just file uncontested to keep our assets under our control; I keep the house under my name, take care of the consumer debt, she keeps her student loans.
As for physically splitting, I want to buy a house that has the exact same floor plan as our current one. I’ll then rent our current house to her at a super low rate and she keeps most of the stuff. I’ll be in the new one and rebuild. Makes the kid sharing easy.
The question is, what do I need to do make sure the new house isn’t somehow able to be slipped into community property if I have to close on the new house before the separation is final?
The other option is renting some shitty studio for not much less than my new mortgage and throwing away more money…
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wineraq to
Divorce_Men [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:40 onetwothree1234569 Mortgage Loan Question Related to Student Loans. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
know that mortgage loan officers can take the estimated payment of consolidated loans when the loan isn't in payment yet and that's often less than if they count 1% of the total balance.
So what happens if you have student loans that are consolidated (like let's say 100k) and then you go back to school and take like another 5k that's not included in the consolidation yet because you're still in school. All loans would be in an in school deferment- the consolidated 100k and the extra 5k. If you apply for a mortgage could they count your estimated ibr for the 100k and then would count the 1% for the new 10k thats not consolidated or how would that work? Or would they then not be able to split it up like that and have to count 1% of the total 105k instead of the estimated IBR for the larger amount and 1% for the smaller amount?
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onetwothree1234569 to
RealEstate [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:39 ellaa31 Should I do another Balance Transfer??
Hello,
I've been a lurker on this sub for a few months and realized that we were going about budgeting all wrong. I need advice on what to do next with CC debt.
Recently my partner (32) and I (31) have started to make drastic changes to our finances to help us get out of debt, especially with student loans starting up soon. We moved to a different state and I stopped working to stay home with our toddler and currently are expecting our second (& last one). We use to budget pay check to pay check but we started YNAB last month and realized that we need to save more for the future so we can get out of the pay check to pay check cycle.
He works in engineering and makes a decent salary about 3,100 every 2 weeks with some OT here and there.
We really want to focus on managing our CC debt. We did a balance transfer to our Capital One card last month, but my problem is that we are still paying interest bc we had a $7,800 on that card already.
Here is the CC breakdown:
Discover $259 @ 23.74% (we did a BT of $12,000 to C.O. card and this is what was left on it)
Care Credit (medical) $224.22 @ 0%
Sephora Visa $410.03 @ 21.74%
Wells Fargo Visa $424.13 @ 23.15%
Costco $1,823.74 @ 20.24%
Capital One $19,808.68 = This is the card we did a balance transfer of $12,000 from Discover but had about $7800 on it already @ 24.74%
Our initial plan is to pay off the highest interest balances first not including the Capital one card. But does it make sense to do that since it is the card with the highest interest at 24.74% and part of our $400 minimum payment on the card is about $160 in interest. I have another offer to transfer balance at 0% on the Discover card for 10 months. Should I suggest we move the $7,800 balance from Capital one to Discover then truly have 0% interest on the $12,000?
Or should we just keep it as it is and just payoff our smaller balances and revisit this after everything else is paid off? The balance transfer for the $12,000 0% is set to exp. in May 2024.
We plan on paying off the Discover and Wells Fargo cards this next pay period.
From there we would pay off Sephora and maybe Care Credit(?) so our only cards will be Costco and Capital one.
Oh and we already have locked our cards so we cannot make further purchases on them and we do not keep them in our wallets anymore.
Thank you!
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ellaa31 to
personalfinance [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:37 greatratemortgage The Great Rate Mortgage
Having the right partner can make all the difference in turning a first-time homebuyer into a long-term client. To get off on the right foot, it helps to work with an independent mortgage expert like me who can offer your clients: 3% down options Loan programs with credit scores starting at 620 Closings in as little as 20 days 100% gift options Down payment assistance programs
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2023.06.06 02:36 Impressive-Sympathy4 Do high schools even teach personal finance anymore?
I was in high school in the early 2000s and it was mandatory to complete at least one personal finance course. Learning basic of what loans and credit cards were. What a monthly budget was and importance of saving.
I work with a decent amount of individuals in their early to mid 20s, all who drive cars worth twice as much as mine, yet my salary is 3x of there’s. I tell them all the time to put at least 10% away into their 401ks and they just stay at me like I’m crazy.
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2023.06.06 02:32 HungryKevin How to maximize savings and minimize student loan payments.
Hey everyone. Like millions of others, my student loans are set to restart in September. I am planning on joining an income based repayment plan which is gonna be based on MAGI. I wanna get my savings as high as possible and my payments as low as possible.
95.6k salary 60k student loans
Avenues to save:
Traditional 401k Roth 401k Roth IRA HSA Employee Stock Purchase Plan
I know the obvious answer is to max out all the pre-tax savings, but I don’t know if there’s a certain strategy that will find me the middle ground of savings, low payments, and spending money. Do ESPP impact MAGI?
Thanks in advance!
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HungryKevin to
personalfinance [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 02:28 certainlycertain_ My (33F) husband (34M) has a gambling addiction and refuses to tell his family.
Do I tell them? Details below.
Back in early March my husband “came out” to me about his gambling addiction. Prior to, I had moved out for a week to my parents because I was sick of him being so irresponsible with drinking (i.e. drinking and driving, drinking on an empty stomach, drinking with the intention to get blacked out). We had met up to discuss my expectations moving forward and he hit me with a double-whammy and told me that I “immediately need to lock him out of our joint account.” Confused, I asked how bad it was and he estimated he had spent nearly 60k within three weeks. I asked him how long this had been going on for and he admitted two years (we haven’t even been married two years yet). My husband had always enjoyed going to casinos, sports betting on “big games”, and investing in the stock market but I had NO idea how bad it really was. His main vice was sports betting all day, every day.
The next morning I made sure to get to our bank ASAP and close out our joint account. Admittedly, I hadn’t checked our joint account in MONTHS because I just assumed everything was OK and I forgot my password. Also, cause momma don’t raise no fool, I always kept a separate personal bank account and credit card for my own spending. As I went through the statements I saw he has spent and lost upwards of 250k since we have been together. I was in shock. At least 40-60k of which was mine. On top of that, he has taken out personal loans and multiple credit cards for his gambling and is about 50k in credit card debt on top of law school loans, our mortgage, etc.
My husband and I are both highly successful attorneys and all of our savings are gone. Like, all of it. I have worked so hard to get where I am in life and I want to scream everyday at my current situation. Not only because I know I deserve better, but I am upset with the amount of deceit and betrayal that went on behind the scenes. He is currently on a voluntary ban list, but that expires in March 2024, and I hate the idea of living year to year anxious about whether he will relapse or find a new way to fuck up our lives.
The most frustrating aspect is my husband grew up in the “upper class” society – private schools, country club member since birth, expensive taste in food, clothes, etc. I grew up in a much more modest environment where I went to public schools my whole life, worked at a dairy farm since I was 15, never had any lump sum of money given to me. Because of the difference in lifestyle, I have compromised along the way and have bent to his lifestyle “expectations” and now I find myself in a home with a $5k a month mortgage, $2-3k/utility and car bills each month, my husband’s country club membership, etc. A lifestyle that I didn’t eagerly sign up for- a lifestyle that doesn’t really feel like “me” – but now I have to pay for to bail my husband out of this situation. I am living paycheck to paycheck in order to keep our head afloat. I had planned on wanting to take a trip before we had planned to start a family by the end of this year and now those dreams are out of reach.
The cherry on top is my husband REFUSES to tell his mother or sisters (father is deceased). So, while my family and closest friends know what has happened – he gets to hide from his family and they still think he is this perfect/successful guy who has it all. I am so over having to protect his fucking image. His mother is ALWAYS on me about not conforming to her country club ways – (i.e. why don’t I play golf, why do I have a tattoo, why is my nose pierced) while my husband is just held in the highest regard. I feel like I’m stuck in golden handcuffs except they’re actually just spray painted with gold. His mom is always up my ass and overstepping boundaries. She’s very wealth obsessed and cares about everyone’s pedigree. Part of me thinks this puts more pressure on my husband to appear perfect and successful to her and all the country club douches he hangs out with when he golfs.
Appreciate any words of advice or fellow commiseration for anyone who has gone through this. Part of me just wants to call his mom up and unload everything onto her.
In this situation, would you keep your partner’s secret or want to bring everything to the light? To me, it feels like he is never going to fully get better if he isn’t held completely accountable and isn’t truthful with those closest in his life.
I know I need to get back into therapy. It’s so hard to not feel so stressed out every single day over this.
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