Hi there everyone, I (~20) am having a hard time keeping close friendships for long periods of time (none last over 4 years) and feeling valued in them.
For the longest time, I thought it had been because I have horrible self-esteem, insecurities and etc, that led to me not feeling valued. I thought it must be my lack of self-love that has me not feeling loved. Somehow that logic added up for the past 20ish years.
I'm realizing now that, in addition to having ADHD, I might have autism? But that's for another post, hehe. If you have ADHD, autism, or are the older sibling rebel trope, any advice is much appreciated! And anyone else too, I'm just looking for comfort, in the form of an essay-like rant. Perhaps the toxic relationships sub is where this post belongs, but I'd just like to feel seen by a community that gets me better.
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Anyways, the rant.
I seem to always leave friends, they rarely leave me. I am the one who decides "NOpe. This feels uncomfy, I give up." and part ways, rarely ever checking up on those drifted friendships. I always leave when I feel disrespected. For some reason, that is one thing that I've been able to hold true to myself about. The moment I realize that I am not respected, I leave (and trust me, I was better at this when I was a kid than now).
Anyways, it's happening again.
My closest friend, who I've always been proud of and inspired by for many reasons, is someone my heart has been drifting away from for a long while now (let's say, less than a year).
The last straw was when they lost my trust, utterly and completely.
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I was leaving home. An emotionally abusive environment, where nobody and I mean nobody understood my struggles (oldest sibling, strict parents, no support for ADHD).
On rare occasions, I've felt violated in this home, I've felt vulnerable and weak, as though I was an object of ridicule. Rare occasions that my close friend knew about, and felt for me, comforted me through, and at some point, it was too much so I stopped sharing how I truly felt each day;
how are you? I'm good!
They're someone who's communicated that they are no longer interested in supporting my well-being, even to the level of knowing how I actually am doing each day (which is ok if that's how distant you wanna be from now on).
The day comes and I decide that one more weekend at home and I'll lose my sanity. I, for safety purposes, tell my friends that I plan to leave home (following all protocols for my situation). My close friend called this decision stupid.
The reason?
I was leaving "all of a sudden," it doesn't seem that "serious," I could wait a few years, get into grad school or get a job; leave when it's societally "right" to, so as not to rock the boat.
I don't know whose boat everyone seems to care about.
My method of leaving right now was too easy, too impulsive, and foolish, not with my own money, nor with my parent's agreeance and understanding.
I would rather have my parents "hate" me right now, and eventually explain things over a long period of time, rather than endure another few years of toxicity, get money and proper ghost them.
My friend's method meant that I would continue to be misunderstood, leave on "fake" good terms basis, and continue to play a game of leading a double life. I wanted to cut the bullshit, and have them know me for me. I cared about this more, rather than having the social and monetary connection with people I didn't feel truly safe with.
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Fast forward to me finally leaving home. I left a letter, I gave my folks a call that night, it was a very emotional night. During my call, I had to set boundaries, I couldn't tell them where I was, I just tried my best to reassure them that I'm safe; I care that they were not worried sick.
A day or two later, I get a call from my friend. They tell me that my parents know that I'm with my partner and the city that I've gone to (strict parents, dating isn't allowed, curfew is before sunset, etc).
They say this calmly, with a straight, almost pissed but also trying to keep sane, face. My partner and I start asking why, why after all that you know about how toxic, how judgemental they can be, why tell them something I wasn't going to share until I had collected myself, until I was ready?
My friend robbed me of the opportunity of protecting myself from my parents' thoughts. As I mentioned earlier, my parents have made me feel vulnerable, fragile, and totally powerless, (physically and emotionally). All my life I lived up to "good kid" standards, and when they went through my phone a year ago, all of that trust I thought they had on me, diminished. They saw through chats, the outfits I tried in private, the makeup I tried, etc. Slutshamed me, told me not to text so much on the phone past 12AM, and ultimately, made me feel not only transparent, but ridiculed. I wanted to disappear at that moment.
Now having my parents know that I have a partner, I have no idea what horrific words they'd say. It doesn't cross my mind as much anymore (it's been a few months since the whole fiasco), but it still hurts just as much.
It hurts that my friend looked apathetic toward my pleas for an explanation.
Their response was more or less;
"I did not agree with your method of dealing with this, that's why I decided for you."
_________
Fast forward to now: I had stopped talking to this friend, I didn't want any more explanations.
They messaged me and I didn't want to hear it. They said, for what it's worth, their actions were out of care for my parent's wellbeing, and that they're sorry for any of the hurt I'd felt as a result.
I wish I could tell them that they can't even scratch the surface of knowing how it feels and that they had no business deciding my life's actions for me. Though they've been through rough times in life, they're the type of person to lack empathy and compassion for their past self - the self that had gone through emotional turmoil.
In short, they're emotionally unavailable and inconsiderate, to themselves and therefore to others.
________
I started talking to this friend again recently, I was missing social connection, and thought, perhaps my unsure feelings would be confirmed if I talk to them again.
I am almost certain now that it isn't worth working through this one, and that they'd never really have enough respect to have my back even if they didn't understand me.
I guess my rant here wondered if it's worth working through or worth slowly cutting off.
I also wanted some advice and comfort in knowing if it's ok to lose friends all at once. I feel misunderstood by anyone who even slightly agrees or empathizes with my close friend, and that number consists of the entire little group that knows of this situation.
I feel like a child in a group of adults, but the adults are childish.
I really like spending time with this outer circle, but as I mentioned in the beginning, most of these friendships feel emotionally distant. It's weird, because they all really want me to be my happy humourous self, but want nothing to do with me.
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Don't know if this is just city friendships, where fast pace is a contributing factor to shuffling friends every handful of years, but I ultimately feel like an alien in the city. I vibe better with small-town kids.
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If you read this far, thank you so much for your time :)) I really appreciate it. Any comments or anecdotes are welcome, and please no judgment! Thank you!

Chapter Four

1. … we were enslaved [משעבדים, MeShoo`eBahDeeYM] to fundamentals [ליסודות, LeeYÇODOTh] [of] the world.

“The word τα στοιχεια [ta stoikheia], the elements ... meant (a) the letters of the alphabet… (b) the elements of which a thing was composed, as the fire, air, earth, and water of which the world was thought to be constituted; (c) the elements of the universe, the larger cosmos, including the sun, moon, planets, and stars; and (d) the spirits, angels, and demons which were believed to ensoul the heavenly bodies, traverse all space, and inhabit every nook and cranny of earth, particularly tombs, desert places, and demented persons. These spirits were said to be organized like human governments. In Rom. [Romans] 8:38 Paul calls them ‘principalities’ and ‘powers.’ And vss. [verses] 9 and 10 of our present chapter indicate that he has them in mind in vs. 3. …
Paul … includes in ‘the elements of the universe’ all sub-Christian ideas and observances, both Jewish and Gentile. He regards these ‘elements’ as slave drivers who frighten men with curses for not propitiating them by observance of special days and seasons, food taboos, dietary fads, and circumcision. In Christ he declared his independence of Fate, Fortune, Luck, and Chance, and from astrology, the counterfeit religion and bastard sister of astronomy, whose practitioners exploited the superstition that the stars controlled men’s lives from birth to death.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 521 & 522)
“The elements of the world] A mere Jewish phrase, יסודי עולם הזה yasudey ‘olam hazzeh, ‘the principles of this world;’ that is, the rudiments or principles of the Jewish religion. The apostle intimates that the law was not the science of salvation; it was only the elements or alphabet of it.” (Clarke, 1831, vol. II p. 387)

1. But [אבל, ’ahBahL] as that was filled the time, sent forth, Gods, [את, ’ehTh] His son, born [of] woman, and subject [וכפוף, VeKhahPhOoPh] to instruction.

“The four words, το πληρωμα του χρονου [to pleroma tou khronou], the fullness of the time, express a whole philosophy of history. The Hebrew prophets and Jewish apocalyptists believed that their God was the creator of the universe and arbiter of the destinies of all men and nations. Nothing could happen that was not his doing, either directly or indirectly through angels and men. He had a time for everything, and everything happened exactly on time. … The completion of this present age would be marked by a blood-red revolution, in which all good men and good works would be ground under the heel of the tyrant, while the wicked reigned supreme. Then suddenly God would intervene with the lightning of judgment to snatch the world from the mouth of the bottomless pit and restore it to Paradise, whence it had fallen with the sin of Adam. Sorrow and sighing would flee away, and the Messiah would reign with the perfection of a theocratic king.
At this juncture, says Paul, when the appointed period of history was ‘full,’ god sent his Son γενομενον εκ γυναικος, γενομενον υπο νομον [genomenon ek gunaikos, genomenon upο nomon], ‘born of woman, bοrn under law.’ … Jesus was not only born under law, but was subject to it all his life. ...The ‘yoke’ of the Torah demanded that he observe the customs of his forefathers, such as wearing phylactery and prayer fringes, ceremonial washing of hands before eating, giving thanks at mealtime, praying at stated times, bringing tithes and sacrifices, and obeying the Ten Commandments.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 522 & 523)
Not to mention circumcision, kashrut, and the prohibition of associating with gentiles.
“Sent forth refers to God’s sending of his Son from his pre-existent state in heaven (I Cor. [Corinthians] 8:6; Phil. [Philippians] 2:6-8; Col. [Colossians] 1:15-17). Yet this Son was born of woman. There is nothing in these words, or elsewhere in Paul’s letters, to prove or disprove that he knew the story of the miraculous conception. His point here is that the Christ, although he was the pre-existent Son of God, did not come into this world with a body composed of celestial substance, but was woman-born like all other human beings. … It was very different from the conception of royal sonship in Ps. 2, where the king is called God’s ‘Son; because he has been chosen to be the Messiah. In Paul, Jesus is God’s Son by nature, and his Christhood follows by virtue of this sonship. This belief was the fundamental cause of the split between the Jews and the Christians. The lowly birth, the obscurity of Nazareth, and the fact that Jesus was a common laborer, constituted a grievous scandal in the eyes of all who were expecting their Deliverer to come riding on a chariot of clouds wielding the lightning of judgment. Paul’s gospel contradicts every form of hyperspirituality that fixes a gulf between God and his material world. On the other hand, his conception of the coming of Jesus was poles removed from the pagan stories of the births of heroes, savior-gods, and kings, whose legends were freighted with illicit relationships and lawless conduct like the lives of the devotees who had created them in their own image.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 523-524)
“Nothing is said explicitly about the Son’s preexistence, which is at most implied … born of a woman: … The phrase is derived from the OT [Old Testament, the Hebrew Bible] (Job 14:1 …). So born, Jesus submitted to the law by being circumcised and thus became capable of falling under its curse. But lest the Galatians draw a wrong conclusion, Paul [and The Interpreters’ Bible] does not mention Jesus’ circumcision. Instead of genomenon, ‘born,’ some patristic writers read gennomenon, and understood this ptc. [participle] as referring to Mary’s virginal conception; but this is anachronistic interpretation.” (Joseph A. Fitzmyer, 1990, TNJBC p. 787)

1. Accordingly [לפיכך, LePheeYKhahKh], you are not [אינך, ’aYNKhah] a slave anymore [אוד, ’OD], for if [כי אם, KeeY ’eeM] a son, and, if a son, then [אזי, ’ahZahY] also heir from favor [מטעם, MeeTah`ahM] [of] Gods.

“This is Paul’s proclamation of emancipation.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 528)
………………………………………… Worry of Shah’OoL to Galatians [verses 8–20]

1. In [the] past, in a time that you did not know [את, ’ehTh] Gods, you slaved [את, ’ehTh] who that in their nature [שבמנהותם, ShehBeMahHOoThahM] were not Gods.

“The Jews never ceased to ridicule idols and denounce idolaters… They demoted the old gods to the rank of demons and made a list of detractive names for them: angels, shepherds, princes; kings, emperors, benefactors, heroes; demons, personifications, idols, nonentities. Some were living, some dead; some were good, but were not God. Most of them were bad, and their idols were but images of ‘things of nought.’ …
Paul did not deny the existence of these beings whose ignorant worshipers called them gods, but he declared that they did not partake of the nature of God (I Cor. 8:4-6). God permitted them to plague mankind to punish sin, especially the sin of participating in the sacraments of the Gentile cults (I Cor. 10:19-22; 11:28-31). But Christ had conquered them and no Christian needed to fear them.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 529)

1. Behold, you are honoring days and new-[moons], seasons [מועדים, MO`ahDeeYM] and years.

“Days like the Sabbath and Yom hakkippurim [“Day of Atonement”] are meant; months like the ‘new moon’; seasons like Passover and Pentecost; years like the sabbatical years… Paul can see no reason for a Gentile Christian to observe these.” (Joseph A. Fitzmyer, 1990, TNJBC p. 788)
…
…………………………………………
Two the covenants [verses 21-26]

1. Say to me, you, the wanters to be subject to Instruction, have you not heard [את, ’ehTh] the Instruction?
2. Is it not written that to ’ahBRahHahM there were two sons, the one from the maid [האמה, Hah’ahMaH] and the second from the woman the free [החפשיה, HahHahPhSheeYah]?
3. But [אך, ’ahKh] [the] son [of] the maid was born according to [לפי, LePheeY] the flesh, and however [ואילו, Ve’eeYLOo] [the] son [of] the free upon mouth of the promise.
4. The words the these, they are a parable to two the covenants: the one from Mount ÇeeNah-eeY [Sinai], the birther to slavery, and she is HahGahR [“The Sojourner”, Hagar].

“It is well known how fond the Jews were of allegorizing; every thing in the law was with them an allegory: their Talmud [ancient commentary] is full of these; and one of their most sober and best educated writers Philo, abounds with them…
It is very likely, therefore, that the allegory produced here; St. Paul had borrowed from the Jewish writings; and he brings it in to convict the Judaizing Galatians on their own principles: and neither he, nor we, have any thing farther to do with this allegory, than as it applies to the subject for which it is quoted; nor does it give any license to those men of vain and superficial minds, who endeavour to find out allegories in every portion of the Sacred Writings; and by what they term spiritualizing, which is more properly carnalizing, have brought the testimonies of God into disgrace. May the spirit of silence be poured out upon all such corrupters of the word of God!” (Clarke, 1831, vol. II p. 390)
“Allegorical interpretation rests upon the belief that every word, figure of speech, and grammatical form in scripture has a special ‘spiritual’ significance besides its literal meaning. The theory is that the God who dictated it meant more than rests on the surface and that while he said one thing, he also meant something else in addition to the literal sense… The Greeks had long since applied the method to explain away the immoral things which the gods said and did in Homer… Then Greek-speaking Jews, like Philo Judaeus, employed it apologetically to read Greek philosophy into the O.T. [Old Testament, the Hebrew Bible], proclaiming that Moses had said all these good things long before and better than Homer and Plato.
The wonder is that Paul has so little allegory. His restraint is explained partly by his training as a Pharisee. The rabbis were suspicious of any interpretation of scripture that tended to make Jews lax in their observance of the law. Jews with Gnostic leanings, and those who considered some of their ancestral customs outmoded, could resort to allegory to justify their philosophy and conduct, while maintaining that they were the spiritual superiors of the conservatives who held to the letter of the law … His argument, however, is never strengthened by allegorical symbolism and typology, for these are convincing only to those who by imagination can find them so. Rather, as in Rom. 9-11, he introduces unnecessary complications such as the moral difficulties involved in predestination. His gospel does not rest on the quicksands of allegory, a specious method of interpreting scripture. Its interpretations are of interest to the historian not as correct representations of what the writers and first readers of the Bible had in mind, but only as source materials for understanding the life and thought of the allegorists themselves.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 540)

1. Hagar signifies [מסמלת, MeÇahMehLeTh] [את, ’ehTh] Mount ÇeeNah-eeY, that is in Arabia, and parallels [ומקבילה, OoMahQBeeYLaH] to Jerusalem of our day, for she is in slavery with her sons.

“… why does Paul mention Arabia…? Possibly because Mt. Sinai is in Arabia[?], which is Ishmaelite territory; he thus associates the Sinai pact with the eponymous patriarch of Arab tribes … Paul thus suggests that the law itself stems from a situation extrinsic to the promised land and to the real descendants of Abraham. Paul’s Jewish former co-religionists would not have been happy with this allegory.” (Joseph A. Fitzmyer, 1990, TNJBC p. 788)

1. But [אבל, ’ahBahL] Jerusalem from ascended [מעלה, Mah`eLaH], [the] daughter [of] freedom [חורין, HOReeYN] is she, and she is mother to us.

“The Jerusalem which now is was a most unholy “Holy city”, full of injustice, violence and murder, and subject to the cruel and wicked rulers imposed by a Gentile empire. But over against this Jerusalem of slavery lay an ideal celestial city, unseen at present, but destined soon to supersede it. Paul called it the Jerusalem above. Sarah, the free-woman, was the ancestress of its citizens, who were the people of faith and of freedom in Christ…
Paul speaks of Jerusalem above, because this new city of freedom already exists in heaven where Christ is, where dwell the souls of those who have died in Christ. But it also exists on earth as the church, the body of Christ, whose members are colonists from heaven sent to prepare men for the full establishment of God’s kingdom at Christ’s second coming (Phil. 3:20; Col. 3:1-3).
The biblical root of this conception of an ideal future and heavenly Jerusalem is Isa. [Isaiah] 54. Other descriptions appear in Ezek. [Ezekiel] 40-48; Zech. [Zechariah] 2:1-13; Hag. [Haggai] 2:6-9; Tob. [Tobias] 13:9-18 Ecclus. [Ecclesiasticus] 36; Pss. Sol. [Psalms of Solomon] 17:33. Historically the expectation assumed three forms. According to the earliest hope, God would build the new Jerusalem in Palestine and make it the capital of his theocratic world government. The plan of this glorious city was graven upon the palms of his hands (Isa. 49:16). From this idea it was but a step, especially for those influenced by Greek ideas, to think of this ideal Jerusalem as already existing in heaven. According to the Apocalypse of Baruch, God had shown it to Adam in Paradise before he sinned; to Abraham on the night mentioned in Gen. 15:12-21; and to Moses on Sinai, when he gave him the heavenly pattern for an earthly tabernacle (II Baruch 4:1-6; cf. [compare with] Heb. [Hebrews]12:22). The third conception combined these two ideas. The Jerusalem which was ‘above’ would come down to earth to be established in Palestine in place of the city that ‘now is’ (cf. Rev. [Revelation] 3:12, 21:2; II Esdras 7:26; 13:36; 10:54).
So the new Jerusalem belonged to both worlds and to both ages, to heaven and earth, to the present and the future. Its constitution was the new covenant, and its citizens were the men of faith in Christ, a new kind of freemen who traced their spiritual ancestry through the line of Isaac and his mother Sarah as heirs of God’s promise to Abraham. As for Ishmael and his tribe, they were the men of law, predestined to be slaves forever. Needless to say, the Judaizers found Paul’s allegorical exclusion of themselves utterly unacceptable. They believed that the Torah was God’s blueprint for all creation, and that it would be observed forever in the new Jerusalem. That, they said, was why God was going to purge the old city – to establish an order of life in which perfect obedience to his law would be possible.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 541-542)
“…it was a maxim among the rabbins, that, ‘Whatsoever was in the earth, the same was also found in heaven; for there is no matter, howsoever small, in this world, that has not something similar to it in the spiritual world.’ On this maxim, the Jews imagine that every earthly thing has its representative in heaven: and especially whatever concerns Jerusalem, the law, and its ordinances. Rab. Kimchi, speaking of Melchisedec, king of Salem, says, זו ירושלים של מעלה Zu Yerushalem shel me’alah – ‘This is the Jerusalem that is from above.’…
There is a spiritual Jerusalem, of which this is the type; and this Jerusalem, in which the souls of all the righteous are, is free from all bondage and sin: or by this, probably the kingdom of the Messiah was intended; and this certainly answers best to the apostle’s meaning, as the subsequent verse shows.” (Clarke, 1831, vol. II p. 391)

1. That see, is written:

“Chant, barren, not birthing, [רני עקרה לא ילדה RahNeeY ahQRaH Lo’ YahLahDaH] burst chanting and shouting, not travailing, [פצחי רנה וצהלי לא-חלה PeeTsHeeY ReeNaH VeTsahHahLeeY Lo’-HahLaH] for multitudinous are sons of her deserted than [מי, MeeY] sons of her mistress [כי-רבים בני-שוממיה מבני בעולה KheeY-RahBeeYM BeNaY-ShoMahMeeYHah MeeBeNaY BeooLaH].”
“A telling item in the counterpropaganda of the legalists was the argument that even among the Christians only a radical fringe consisting mainly of foreign Jews, of whom Paul was one, were proposing to abandon the law of Moses. …
In one respect his quotation of Isa. 54:1 does not fit Paul’s allegory. It was Sarah, the mother of freemen, who possessed the husband, and Hagar, the slave, who was the deserted woman. As usual with Paul’s illustrations (cf. Rom. 7:1-4; 11:17-24), the details cannot be pressed without making them go lame …
The Isaian figure to describe the plight of Jerusalem during the Babylonian exile grew out of a common experience in Hebrew family life. Childlessness, particularly the failure to bear sons, was great grief and disgrace. Such was the sorrow of Jerusalem; but the prophet bade her look forward with courage to the time when all her scattered children would come back to her (Isa. 54:3). God was her ‘husband,’ and he would treat his faithful remnant with everlasting lovingkindness, making them more numerous than the former population and giving them a heritage of great peace and prosperity (Isa. 54:13-17).” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 542)
“The prophet’s words are addressed to deserted Zion, bidding it rejoice at the return of the exiles.” (Joseph A. Fitzmyer, 1990, TNJBC p. 788)

1. But you, my brethren [τεχνα, tekhna, “children”], you are the sons of the promise, as was YeeTsHahQ [“He Laughed”, Isaac].

“The Judaizers claimed that Abraham had obeyed the law of Moses by anticipation, and that God’s promise was his reward. Consequently the descendants of Isaac were children of promise only if they followed Abraham’s example in obeying the law. Paul turned it the other way about: the promise must be taken on faith, not as credit for obedience.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 542)

1. And just as [וכשם, OoKhShayM] that then pursued, [רדף, RahDahPh] the son that was born according to [לפי, LePheeY] flesh, [את, ’ehTh] the son that was born according to the spirit, yes, also now.

“In Gen 21:10 Sarah, seeing Ishmael ‘playing’ with Isaac and viewing him as the potential rival to Isaac’s inheritance, drives him and his mother out. Nothing in Gen is said of Ishmael’s ‘persecution’ of Isaac, but Paul may be interpreting the ‘playing’ as did a Palestinian haggadic explanation of Gen 21:9 (see Josephus, ANT. [Antiquities] 1.12.3§215 …” (Joseph A. Fitzmyer, 1990, TNJBC p. 788)
“A rabbinical tradition of the second century A.S. interprets the Hebrew participle מצחק [MeeTsHahQ, “play”] (LXX παιζοντα [paizonta] in Gen. 21:9 to mean that Ishmael’s ‘playing’ became so rough that Isaac’s life was in danger. This son of a slave is said to have shot arrows at Isaac to kill him, and Paul’s statement shows that some such tradition was current in his day. He applied it to the Judaizers who were trying to force the Christians to observe the whole law of Moses, and to the unbelieving Jews who were excommunicating the Christians and their families and getting them into trouble with the civil authorities (1:5; 4:17; 5:10; I Thess. [Thessalonians] 2:14-16).” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X p. 543)

1. But what says the Written [Scripture]?

“Banish [גרש GahRaySh] the maid and [את, ’ehTh] her son, for not will inherit [יירש, YeeYRahSh], son [of] the maid [האמה, Hah’ahMaH], with son [of] the free.”
“The quotation is from Gen. 21:10 … The speaker of these words is Sarah, who is filled with rage against Hagar and Ishmael. Abraham is represented as greatly grieved, but God is said to have sanctioned the demand of the cruel and jealous wife….
This story was one of the effects and one of the causes of the perpetual feud between the Israelites and the tribes that descended from Ishmael. The Hebrews were so sure that God wanted them to have Palestine that they found no moral difficulty in saying that it was God himself who had overruled Abraham’s conscience (Gen. 17:18-21). They affirmed that Ishmael’s character and destiny had been predetermined (Gen. 16:12). Consequently, even his circumcision at the age of thirteen could not make him a member of God’s chosen people. However great this innocent victim of a family feud might become by virtue of the halfhearted blessing conceded by an uneasy conscience (Gen. 17:20-21), he and his descendants were barred forever from the higher blessing. Theirs was to submit to the religious imperialism of the most favored nation or die. Moreover, all Abraham’s other sons except Isaac were barred from the promise and sent away ‘unto the east country’ (Gen. 25:5-6). And yet while all this was said to be the Lord’s doing, it was in the same breath declared to be the doing of the human actors in this drama of the nations. Sarah herself was said to have suggested that Abraham become a father by her Egyptian slave girl. Then, too, it was explained that Hagar’s flight from the cruelty of her mistress was voluntary, making her, rather than the callous compliance of Abraham, responsible for her plight ‘in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur’ (Gen. 16:7).
Paul’s use of Abraham’s expulsion of Hagar and her child has its parallel in the equally heartless treatment of Esau which he employs in Rom. 9-11 in his longer discussion of the divine process of selection. Here too it was assumed that the hatred generated by centuries of war for the possession of Palestine lay in the heart of God. “I hate Esau,” said Malachi (1:3), making God the speaker; and Rom. 9:6-13 presses it to the utmost limit of predestination. But the love of God in Christ Jesus made Paul’s heart better than his inherited doctrine … When the history of the struggle for the possession of “the Holy land” is allegorized to justify a doctrine of “election” which foredooms countless souls to an eternity of torment in a future hell, it becomes as morally atrocious as it is irreconcilable with Paul’s gospel.
Nevertheless Paul’s allegory gives the historian an insight into Paul’s mind as he wrestled with the insoluble problem of God’s sovereignty and human freedom.” (Stamm, 1953, TIB vol. X pp. 543-544)
“Paul bids the Galatians rid themselves of the Judaizers – and, ironically enough, obey the Torah itself.” (Joseph A. Fitzmyer, 1990, TNJBC p. 788)

i'm currently on a semester abroad in germany. we had a meeting planned, or a trip rather, with our university on a particular weekend where we would go on a thursday and stay the night, then spend friday as the university hosted company day. I thought it would be a good idea to stay the weekend too because i'm not sure when i'll get the chance to do this again. So, I booked a hostel for just myself, because I couldn't find anyone else in the program who wanted to stay 5 nights in Berlin.
A few days later, two of them said they found an airbnb for a price that would be cheaper for all of us if we book it because it was for three people. I said ok, and cancelled my hostel reservation. That was 2.5 weeks ago. One of them messages me an hour ago to say that ''they never got the confirmation for the booking, and we were thinking of coming back to our city for the weekend for so and so event so its best if you can book something for yourself if you want to stay in berlin longer''
suffice to say, I am pretty upset right now. my stay was supposed to be from 22 June to 27th June, but i'm having trouble finding good places now. Obviously, i mean.
if there's any suggestions that you guys can give me i would really appreciate it. Something that's close enough to the major neighborhoods, or to the museums, the major landmarks, or at least a non sketchy part of berlin where I as a female solo traveller would feel safe.
​
thank you for reading, and good night <3

Hi all! i've been away for a LONG time, i just came back and i'm trying to finish my Aurora achievements, but dodger danger has been pain because it takes too long for a retry. is there a way to skip to the last fight like in the ice boss achievements in bitterfrost frontier?. Any tips/help appreciated, have a nice day :)

Some context. I (24F) have been married to my husband (27M) since 2018 and we have a daughter (3F), and one on the way. We have lived in Idaho mostly since we got married. My family, including my mom, older sister, older brother, and step dad, all live in Texas. We spent the summer of COVID living with my family down in Texas to save on expenses, and then moved to Utah. We moved back to Idaho, near my in laws, last August. My sister is getting married in less than 2 weeks and then she and her fiance will be moving to Utah for his grad school.
We try to visit my family when we have the time and money to travel down. We choose to drive since we'd rather handle our toddler on the road than on a cramped plane, and overall, it costs less for us to drive than to fly, since it would cost us over $1000 for all 3 of us to get round trip tickets. We will be driving down for the wedding and plan to arrive late Thursday night, before the wedding on Saturday and rehearsal dinner Friday. I am the maid of honor and am happy to be. We plan to leave Monday morning after the wedding, since it will take us about 2 and a half days to drive back and my husband only has so many days he can take off of work every year, and we like to use them for other things throughout the year as well, and he will be taking 6 days already with our current travel plans.
My mom has always complained to me about how much we visit my husband's family, since it's always been a lot easier to take a weekend trip to see them for holidays and special occasions since they only lived maximum 5 hours away, and now we live in the same city as them, and seems to resent the good relationship I have with my mil in particular. We try to plan Christmas so that we rotate between my in-laws and my family, but since we're coming for the wedding, we won't be able to afford Christmas too, on top of not wanting to travel with a newborn, since I'm due in September, which has greatly upset my mom. She has been complaining about it to me whenever she can for months ever since we booked our non refundable hotel stay and told her about our travel plans.
I just got a video message from her crying and talking about how upset she is about how we decided to only stay for 3 days in Texas, and because she's going to be so busy with the wedding she won't be able to spend any time with us or our daughter, and that she offered to let us stay in their camper, since their other 2 bedrooms are occupied by my sister and my brother, and we booked a hotel to have our own space and a comfortable bed to sleep on since I'm about 5 months pregnant.
I do feel for my mom and understand it's hard for her to be so far away from me and my family and not be able to see us as often as my in-laws, but I also get frustrated when she constantly complains about how short and far apart our visits are, even when we're in the middle of a visit she complains.
So aita for only staying for 3 days for the wedding?

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Trystane Dayne

Where else would Trystane Dayne wake up than in the alley next to a whorehouse? His head was pounding, and his pockets were much lighter than the night before. He laughed at that. The Street of Silk was the one good thing the Valyrians brought to Westeros. It wasn’t as good as a Dornish brothel, of course. But few things were.
He entered back into the brothel, stumbling slightly and giving the girl whom he’d spent the night with a kiss on the cheek and a smack on the rear. He scratched the back of his neck and wandered to the room he’d spent the night in. His cloak, sword, and bag all remained where he’d left them. He quickly collected them again and felt arms wrap around him.
“Would you like another go?” The woman’s sultry voice came. “I can get our friend from last night too. He’s around here somewhere.”
Trystane laughed, “Not tonight, dear. I don’t think the pair of you could handle a Dornishman for a second night.”
She pouted, “Are you sure?”
“I”m not paying you again, but I would gladly fuck you again.”
She winked, “Maybe later.”
Trystane chuckled. He threw the cloak over his shoulder and looked in the mirror. He adjusted it to ensure that the long scar on his neck that marred his otherwise perfect skin was completely covered. He'd always hated that part of him. His mother told him he'd fallen while playing with a toy sword when he was a boy. But after he had a nightmare in which a man clad in armor held a sword to his neck his mother confessed the real reason to him. He'd sword to keep it a secret from Anders, as if his elder brother knew he'd blame himself for the death of Viserys.
Trystane kept the scar hidden to prevent memories from rushing back, as he'd had more nightmares from that night than anything else. It worked for the most part, as long as he didn't look too hard into a mirror, at least.
He slid an extra stag to the woman and walked out. The morning sun caused him to squint and reminded him of the headache he'd been trying to forget. "Fucking hell."
He wandered through the city for a long few minutes until he could find a fountain in the middle of a courtyard. He walked up to the fountain and splashed the water onto his face to help the drunkenness leave his body. He shook his head as the water poured down his front and got caught in the scarf that was connected to his cloak. “Oh, Mother is going to be furious.” He said to himself, realizing the time. He’d intended to return to the rented manse before the morning so his mother wouldn’t question where he was, but his night of revelry seemed to have caught back up to him.
The walk back to the manse was pitted with him glaring at various knights and gold cloaks that he passed. Fortunately for him, he didn’t appear outwardly ‘Dornish’ as most of the racists of the city assumed he’d look, so there wasn’t outright hatred toward him. But even then, he still saw it in their eyes. Or was it just his imagination? He didn’t know. He was still drunk.
The manse appeared around the corner much faster than he’d expected. He looked back to the path he’d been walking to ensure he wasn’t going insane, but it was indeed the correct manse. He took a deep breath and opened the door.
Rather than harsh words, Trystane was immediately met with a hug from his younger sister Elia. “Where have you been? Anders was worried sick. He is looking around the city for you.”
“Same place as always, love,” Trystane responded to his sister. “You don’t want to know.”
“She’s going to be furious,” Elia said with an exasperated look. “Why do you keep doing this? One day you’re going to just not wake up.”
Trystane bit his tongue, but the thought still came unbidden. Would she really care? I’m nothing but a spare. Second to Anders in everything. Her love, birth, everyone’s thoughts.
“Can you not tell her?” Trystane asked Elia. “I’ll just say I was out drinking with a new friend.”
“Trystane…” Elia replied gently.
“Can you please do this for me?” Trystane asked, feeling tears beginning to well up in his eyes. “Please?”
“Go to your room,” Elia replied, shaking her head. “I’ll cover for you.”
“I love you,” Trystane replied earnestly.
“Good.” Elia replied, kissing his cheek. “Go.”
^vibes

Hey yall, I am in your beautiful city for a day because if work and have yhe evening to myself. I'd rather hang out with someone or go for drinks. If someone can show me around or just hang out that would be cool!

Got back into the game after 10+ years and as I was replaying it i started to question how did (from the time Lee was arrested to leaving Hershels house) Macom fall so fast?
Using show + game logic Lee, after the car accident, wasn't knocked out for more than a day (otherwise the Officer would've turned far before then) and he leaving Clems house people still didn't know what was going on and what the infected were. Lee also didn't stay at Hershals for more than a day.
But after arriving at his parents pharmacy in Macom its like the city has been in the apocalypse for months. No police, EMS, or fire. And the entire city was overrun.
How did the National Guard, police, EMS, and fire get pushed out of the city or wiped out in ~48 hours?

Dozens of officers get marching orders as part of 'Operation Safe Summer' in Minneapolis

The officers learned when and where they will focus their attention as the warm days and nights set in.

By Paul Walsh Star TribuneJune 7, 2023 — 4:23
Crime hot spots in Minneapolis will be saturated with law enforcement at specific times under an initiative detailed Wednesday ahead of the warm summer days and nights ahead.
The "Operation Safe Summer" briefing Wednesday in the Police Department training center, with many of the top legal brass acting for the most part as observers along with members of the media, was complete with charts, graphs and maps on a big screen touting reductions in crime. The contingent included Minneapolis police officers and Hennepin County sheriff's deputies, many of them in plain clothes.
The officers learned when they will saturate targeted areas of the city — in uniform and undercover — with the focus on crime hot spots on the North Side, downtown and along and near E. Lake Street.
The operation, subtitled the "Greater Minneapolis Violent Crime Initiative," began Monday and is being deployed on specific dates during specific times through the end of August — though they were not publicly detailed.
A presentation of Police Department crime data comparing the first six months of 2023 with the same period last year showed 33% fewer homicides and 37% fewer gunshot victims. At the same time, gun seizures are up 18%.
On the first day of the initiative, detectives with the Hennepin County Violent Offender Task Force and Minneapolis police officers chased a 12-year-old boydriving a suspected stolen Kia until the vehicle crashed into and destroyed a Metro Transit bus shelter at Olson Hwy. and N. Penn Avenue.
The driver and his five older teenage passengers were injured to varying degrees. All six were arrested, the Sheriff's Office said.
The Kia struck another SUV on Olson Hwy. and Penn Avenue, then slammed into the bus shelter and also hit a man waiting at the shelter around noon, authorities said Monday. The vehicle was believed to have been involved in multiple armed robberies and being driven erratically through the North Side.
On Wednesday, the child, now 13, was charged with four counts of felony criminal vehicular operation and one count each of receiving stolen property and fleeing police. Because of his age, his identity and other details were not made public.
Along with Mayor Jacob Frey, other agency heads in attendance included U.S. Attorney Andrew Luger, Hennepin County Sheriff Dawanna Witt, state Bureau of Criminal Apprehension Superintendent Drew Evans, Hennepin County Attorney Mary Moriarty and Alvin Winston, special agent in charge for the FBI's Minneapolis Field Office. They praised the efforts toward bringing down crime in the tumultuous years since the at-times violent and destructive unrest that followed George Floyd's murder by Minneapolis police officers in May 2020.
"We are focusing on the worst of the worst out there who are wreaking harm or causing havoc in the community," Minneapolis Police Chief Brian O'Hara said of the joint-agency initiative. "You are out there this week and every day and taking these people off the street."

Here she is wheezing after I take this gadget she can't stop fiddling with when she learned her to listen when I's is talking to her!

I don't know if I'm posting this in the right subreddit.. going through a separation, feeling lost, alone, numb. I just want to know what or who I'm dealing with because I feel like after 7 years of being with this person I don't really know him at all.
He is dismissive avoidant that's for sure. But other things have made me question if there's more, maybe Narcissist or sociopathy.
The beginning: He was the perfect guy in the beginning, we talked for hours, so many hours on the phone, messaging, we were long distance he's from Europe I'm from Canada. He would surprise me with flowers hed pick on the way to see me, take me everywhere. We went to concerts, everything.
Eventually things changed, the effort was gone. No more effort, no more intimacy or seriously lack there of. I started getting anxious and arguing more because I felt like he was pulling away.
Fast forward...
He lies all the time about literally nothing significant, just lies all the time. I can confront him with proof and he will continue to lie, or blame it on me.
No ability to self reflect, makes everything my fault. Or hell say "okay I'm the worst person ever I am just a terrible person and I'll never be enough for you" while literally not even giving the bare minimum.
He will turn everything into my fault, I know I stated this but I cannot exaggerate this enough, if he decides on something and I try to tell him it won't work... And then it ends up not working, he will then blame me and say I should have just trusted my own instinct then. He literally blames me for everything..
He ignores me constantly. So many times I'll talk or say something and he'll just blatantly ignore me. He acts like I don't exist, I have started to feel so invisible. And if I react or get upset he says "relax I didn't hear you" but this happens all the time.. he will sometimes just blatantly ignore texts too.
He has no real relationships or friendships? He said he had a group of friends he was so close with but as soon as we started dating he stopped hanging out with them and that all just stopped... I remember I would encourage him to see them and he just always said he preferred to be with me... But when when I came back to Canada he didn't see them or mention them. before he moved to Canada, I kept encouraging him to see them again before coming home, at least to say bye to them before leaving..but he didn't go.
He isn't close with his family, I talk to his mom more than he does, I feel bad because I can tell she's lonely and misses him, I always have to remind him to contact her or to try and call / FaceTime with her and he gets so annoyed. He also hates his sister. He hates her, has no contact with her what so ever, and I've asked him so many times why does he hate her so much and have no contact and he never really gave me a reason.
He shows no empathy or remorse. He doesn't really seem to feel bad about anything. Sometimes I wonder if his feelings are even real. My cousin died unexpectedly and he was extremely annoyed by my crying and I wanted to be close to my family at the time they lived in a different city, but he was extremely annoyed and inconvenienced. He never gave condolences, he was just extremely annoyed by it all. He has a truck, they needed a truck to grab her belongings, I offered his truck I just assumed he would be fine, well big mistake, he was so annoyed by it, he didn't show them but behind their backs he was so annoyed that he had to lend his truck and just didn't want to be bothered.
I just brushed this off thinking he didn't know my cousin never met her so it was normal to not have feelings about it. But some time after his uncle passed away, I told him I was so sorry and asked if he wanted to talk about it. (He never talks about feelings)...but he didn't care, he wasn't bothered, he seemed annoyed I even mentioned it, he said his uncle lived a terrible lifestyle and that he had been warned and had so many heart attacks prior to this because of his lifestyle so that he had it coming.
I don't know him, he doesn't talk to me about anything really, I feel like I married a total stranger.
He gaslights me, he's done things that I am sure are purposeful to make me crazy. I've made a separate post about that, and remembered some other occurances where similar things have happened.
Examples: My car keys went missing for some time. He drives my car and has his own set of keys. My keys were missing and I asked if he had taken them he said no and he insisted I was the only one who would ever use them... I didn't have my keys for some time... Finally, he says he found them in the glove box and told me I must have put them there and not remembered..but why would I do that? That makes no sense? How can I drive my own car and then have the keys in the glove box? How would I lock the car after? That just made no sense but I was left feeling so confused.
He's been sleeping on the couch, the other night I woke in the middle of the night my phone had the cover taken off. I asked if he had taken my phone cover off and he looked at me as if I was crazy and asked why would he ever do that...but ironically he then offered to sleep in our bed with me since I must be creeped out... I told him I didn't need him there but he insisted and has been sleeping there since. It's just all so strange.
So, is this all typical for a dismissive avoidant? Or any thoughts if I'm dealing with something different?
He is perfectly fine being roomates, he does not care we don't talk so I know he doesn't care to be with me but I think he's comfortable with me, I do everything. I do our taxes, take care of finances, all house work, he does help with our son, and after years of arguing to contribute in house he now also helps with dishes most days, helps with garbages, so he has definitely started to make some changes there... But in terms of our relationship it's like I don't exist to him.
He does not show grandiosity or doesn't seem like he cares to be admired or looks for attention so I feel like as much as there are Narcissist qualities I don't think it's Narcissm. He's extremely introverted. Hates going out, hates socializing, never takes us to work events never wants to attend them himself, he just likes cars, motorcycles, playing video games, staying home, really that's all.
Oh I would and still continue to try and do gifts, birthdays special occasions father's days, he has stopped all effort and then blames me for it. Examples - mother's day
I spent mother's day with my sister and son, he told me I ruined mother's day ...
He always gets stuff last minute and hell say "I'll be back, I need to get "some things" the night before an event like mother's day. Sorry if I'm asking for too much but that makes me feel like crap I feel like its just last minute thought running errands type thing so I told him not to worry about it. That's why it's my fault that mother's day was "ruined" and I didn't get anything.
I don't even need anything he could have just made a reservation for breakfast or something. This has been every mother's day, my son is 3.
Anyways.. sorry for the long post... Hope at least one person reads this....

So, my elderly mother lives alone in her apartment in a certain master planned city. I come by everyday, briefly, to do welfare checks and basically keep her company.
But, each time, I get nasty looks from her neighbors and my mother even got a letter from the apartment about the optics of me coming and going each day.
To the nosy neighbors, I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL!!! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

I have the following games to offer:
911 Operator
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Acceleration of SUGURI 2
Age of Wonders III
Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Armello
Bear With Me - Collector's Edition
Bioshock: The Collection
BioShock™ Remastered
Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Brutal Legend
Company of Heroes 2
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!!
Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla EX)
Darkest Dungeon Shieldbreaker DLC
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Deponia: The Complete Journey
Drawful 2
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Duke Nukem Forever
Duskers
Endless Space® - Collection
Equilinox
Evergarden
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Forged Battalion
GameGuru Classic
GOD EATER 2 Rage Burst
The Golf Club™ 2019 featuring PGA TOUR
Gonner
GRID 2
GRID Ultimate Edition
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Gunscape
Hacknet
Hand of Fate
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hyper Light Drifter
In Between
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Kingdom Classic
Kona
LEGO Batman
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4
The Long Dark
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Magicka
Max Payne 3 (rockstar key)
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco
Mr. Shifty
Music Maker EDM Edition
Music Maker EDM Edition $10 voucher code for in-app purchases
Nex Machina
Niche
No Time to Explain Remastered
observer_
Overgrowth
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Paratopic
Party Hard
Pathologic Classic HD
Pikuniku
PGA TOUR 2K21
Pool Panic
Psychonauts
Punch Club
Quake Champions
Quantum Break
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Regular Human Basketball
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Ryse: Son of Rome
Samorost 3
Sega Bass Fishing and Eastside Hockey Manager
Sid Meier’s Civilization® VI
Sonic & SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
SpeedRunners
Spelunky
Starbound
Starfinder: Pact Worlds Campaign Setting
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Super Hexagon
Super Time Force Ultra
SUPERHOT
Surviving Mars
Supraland
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
The Ball
The Final Station
Wandersong
This is the Police
This War of Mine
The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead - 400 Days
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners
Wizard of Legend
WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Vertiginous Golf
VVVVVV
Wizard of Legend
World of Goo
Worms Revolution
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
X-COM: COMPLETE PACK
Yoku's Island Express
REP: https://www.steamtrades.com/use76561197963435625

I would really appreciate some help here. I’m at a loss on what to do. Apologies for the really long post, TLDR below.
TLDR; I’m considering ending a relationship of 1.5 years with my girlfriend after her roommate and I got into several fights this past weekend over moving a couch into their apartment. Her roommate prohibited me from stepping foot inside ever again, threatened to call the cops on me, threatened to lawyer up, and accused me of aggravating her. She might have also punctured one of my car’s tires as it was flat the following day in their parking lot. My girlfriend has continuously said she understands the situation and will be coming to my place going forward, but I’m afraid of what might happen in the future since she shares her location with her roommate, have been friends for 17 years, have a matching tattoo together, and the roommate has shown to be a very explosive and volatile person. Her roommate has also been convicted in the past for assault and I’m afraid of what she might do. I feel like I don’t fully know my girlfriend and don’t know how to move forward. Should I leave the relationship or continue to fight?
A bit of a background
My girlfriend, let’s call her Ana, and I have been together for 1.5 years. We met through a cousin of mine at an outing back in December 2021 and started dating right away. Ana is caring, loyal, and has always listened to what I have to say. Our relationship has gone through some challenges, but nothing we have not talked through and somewhat agreed on - we see life differently to some extent when it comes to matters like politics and religion but have always sat down to talk through and resolve those issues. My parents did not get a good impression of Ana when I introduced them to each other, but she has worked hard to do so ever since. When we met I also asked her to go back to school to keep pursuing her degree, which she had stopped years ago, but listened to me and is currently on her second semester. It is important to note that Ana (and Betty, shortly introduced) was in a religion for 22 years that prohibited her from making friends outside of it. She left 5 years ago and had to cut all communication with her family.
While together, in June last year, I bought an apartment and moved about 1.5 hours north of her to be closer to my job. Ever since that happened we have had this sort of long distance relationship where we only see each other on the weekends - every other weekend Ana comes to visit me, staying overnight, while I do the same the weekends she does not.
Ana was living in an apartment by herself up until two months ago, when her lease was over and the landlord increased her rent by 30% or so. She had to go somewhere and asked if we could live together, to which I declined as I did not think we were ready - moving in together has been something I’ve refused to do because of a very sour experience with an ex-girlfriend. Since that was not an option, Ana decided to move into a new apartment with one of her best friends, Betty, who I barely knew. They decided to move about 30 minutes closer to me. Betty promised Ana she would take care of her, to some extent, by paying more than half of the rent and covering the security deposit. Ana does not make much money and has racked up some credit card debt which she is managing now, so the arrangement made her financially happy. It’s sort of important to note, however, that with the new arrangement Ana is paying about the same monthly rent. I helped her move out and into the new place with two other friends.
Betty and Ana have known each other for 17 or so years. They have traveled together and even during our relationship Ana, during the weekdays, has visited Betty overnight to watch movies and whatnot, without me there. At the start of our relationship Ana refused presenting me to Betty several times despite my insistence, because Betty had had serious fallouts with two of Ana’s friends and she was afraid I might not like her. Before meeting Betty I had a sense I would not like her when I noticed that Ana, when Betty texted, was afraid of not replying right away, which I thought was odd. I confronted her but she always ignored what I was saying. Other friends of Ana’s had also noticed the same. I ended up meeting Betty six months or so after Ana and I started dating, which was right after Betty’s ex broke up with her after almost five years of a verbal- and physically abusive relationship. Betty, I recently found out, has even been to jail before due to explosive episodes that have ended in physical aggression, and is currently trying to expunge her records. She was also adopted as a kid and her adoptive father has beat her for years in different occasions. Betty and I only hung out then, when we met for the first time, and one other time two months after, for her birthday. I never had any sort of altercation with her, but noticed she always had some fight with someone, always talking down on people and blaming others for her tragedies. Something that took me by surprise last year was when my girlfriend and Betty went one day to a tattoo parlor and got the same exact tattoo in the forearm as a sign of their friendship. Up until then my girlfriend only had two other tattoos that were very small - one by her ankle and another one by her ribcage. This one that she got with Betty is the only truly visible one. That day I remember being extremely surprised when she showed it to me, seeing how she had not even mentioned she was going to get a tattoo, but comes home with the biggest one she has had, and on the forearm.
Fast forward to Saturday: Betty and I lose it with each other
Moving forward to last weekend, I visited Ana at her apartment for only the second time in the last two months after she moved in. I drove over Saturday early in the morning and was greeted by my girlfriend making breakfast for me and her roommate. We all ate and Betty asked to spend the day with us, since she needed to go to the library to study for an exam, which my girlfriend and I had planned on doing, so that she could study for one of her classes. They also made me aware of a couch one of Betty’s friends was giving her for free, and Betty asked for my help to pick it up later. The day went well at the library (4 or so hours) but started to shift when we went out for late lunch after - Betty asked for spicy wings at a local bar and threw a fit when the wings came with not sauce, calling the manager of the place and insulting the cooks and staff. After that ordeal we went to UHAUL to rent a truck for the couch. Like idiots, we ended up breaking what we thought was the ignition key (it wasn’t, just an attached key for the back doors) inside the car’s key hole. This sent Betty screaming and insulting me, out of the blue, calling me an idiot and other words I cannot recall. I yelled back at her which only escalated the situation. UHAUL management stepped in and they got us a pickup truck at no additional cost. We live in a big city in South Florida. I drove with Ana in the middle seat and Betty on the passenger side for about 40 minutes to pick up the couch. It is 10PM on the dot when we get to the community where Betty’s friend lives. A security guard, as I parked the truck, approached us to say the HOA does not allow trucks at that time. Betty starts insulting him several times as I drive away and parked about half a block from the community, at a plaza right next to it. We proceeded, for the next two hours, to carry out the couch from a second floor to the first, moving it over a 5 feet wall (with me jumping over) to avoid going around the community, then walking with it for half a block and than putting it on the bed of the pickup truck. All in 90 degree humid weather.
As I am sweating and huffing while fastening the couch on the bed of the truck by myself, with Betty and Ana talking by the side of the truck, I notice Betty looks tired and miserable, to which I asked jokingly “why the long face?”. Betty proceeds to tell me I am not being funny with that question and starts to yell at Ana, saying how she is useless, how she herself (Betty) had to do everything regarding the couch and no one helped her, how “her man” (meaning me) was not able to afford a couch for her, and other stuff I cannot remember. She called me an idiot, and called me slick, and said I was not funny with my stupid jokes, and kept yelling I was not helpful. I started to yell back at her saying how it had been six hours since we had been helping her. I also, at that point, lost it all and said “where are your friends right now to help you? Holy shit, I am literally on the bed of this truck fastening your couch and you are so ungrateful”. I was yelling as she was yelling back, and in that moment the yelling match turned something like the following:
Betty - “you are so fucking useless, IT’S ALWAYS ME GETTING SHIT DONE, no help from anyone, ALWAYS ME”
Me - “what the fuck are you talking about? We are LITERALLY helping you right now, what the fuck”
Ana - “guys please stop, can’t we all just get along, please?”
Betty - “Bro you are not funny man, who the fuck said you are? I am so tired of your shit, your stupid comments and jokes throughout the day”
Me - “where the fuck are your friends to help you? You are so fucking ungrateful; you jump from dick to dick and will never find love, you have no fucking friends”
Betty - “WHAT THE FUCK. Your bitch is a whore man, she doesn’t even wear condoms. A fucking whore and a fucking submissive bitch, that’s why you are with her”
Ana - “guys please stop”
Me - “Don’t you fucking dare talk about Ana that way, be fucking respectful”
Betty - “A fucking whore is what she is, and submissive, and worthless”
At that point we are yelling at each other and Betty starts saying that I am assaulting her, and threatens to call the cops. She grabs her phone to make a call and I start filming with mine, making it very clear that at no point have I put my hands on her or planning to, at all. She starts yelling at me for recording her and bring up her lawyers and the cops, and how recording her without her consent is illegal. We are calling each other names and I continue to film. She is also in disbelief at how my girlfriend is “not defending HER”. In reality Ana was trying to stay out of it.
Needless to say, the way back to their apartment with the couch was extremely uncomfortable. It was very quiet for the first 20 minutes until Ana asked us why we can’t just get along, which made Betty go off again, yelling at how I am slick, worthless, and so many names I cannot remember. Betty said she does not want me to step foot in HER house, and continued to say she would break the lease and have my girlfriend’s stuff out of her place. When we got to the apartment I let them carry the couch inside and asked my girlfriend to bring my stuff (a backpack and a duffle bag) out of the apartment. I did not want to step foot inside for my own safety. Betty does not have a gun but I am sure she would have used it if she did, either to threaten or God knows what. As I was leaning on the frame of the door Betty asked if I would come in, to which I said no, and she also slammed the door on my face and prevented Ana from opening it, positioning herself in front of the door and yelling that “if she steps foot outside she would kick her out” to which I kept yelling that Ana is also in the lease. When Betty opened the door I told her I would call the cops if she tried one more time to hold Ana hostage inside. She went off again and threatened to lawyer up and kick Ana out. After much yelling and cries from Betty, I ended up stepping inside, closing the door behind me, and talking to them both to de-escalate the situation.
At this point it is 2AM and after much yelling I apologize to my girlfriend’s roommate for stepping over the line when I basically called her a whore. I was a total piece of shit in that regard and sincerely felt like apologizing. Betty did not apologize but she said I could stay over. She said she will forget about the whole situation and that all she needed was to cry and get over what I had said. She went to the balcony to smoke weed and I left the apartment to basically cry out of frustration. Ana followed me and after 30 minutes or so talking outside I told her I had to leave. I did not feel safe sleeping over and did not know if I could ever feel safe again in that space. I walked over to my car and drove home for an hour. I went to bed at 3:30AM and woke up at 6:50AM, took a shower, and headed back to my girlfriend’s apartment complex to return the truck which we had to do by 9AM.
Sunday: flat tire and location sharing
It’s now Sunday morning. I get to my girlfriend’s apartment at 8:15AM, where I leave my car parked, and with her on the passenger seat drive over to the UHAUL, which is about 20 minutes away, to return the truck. Everything is done on time and after getting my girlfriend’s car from the UHAUL parking lot we stop at a diner to have breakfast. We get back to her apartment at around 10:20AM and by 10:25AM we are driving over to my place, each of us in separate cars. About 10 minutes after leaving I get a flat tire notification on my car’s dashboard and pull over at a near gas station to see what was going on. The car had gone from 35PSI in one of the rear tires all the way to 15, and kept going down. I end up driving the car over to a TiresPlus close by, which later confirmed the flat tire was due to a hole on the outside which “had been caused by an object that went in and out, more than likely a screwdriver or a knife”. Needless to say I had to pay ~$200 for a new tire.
I told Ana there is no way this was coincidence and that I suspected Betty had done something to that tire. She said she did not think it could have been the case since there is no way Betty knew where I parked. I did not think that logic made sense since Betty knows exactly what car I drive and she was in the apartment, in her room, when Ana and I left earlier to return the truck. She basically had two hours to do anything. On top of that, I found out that Ana actively shares her location with Betty via iMessage, and vice versa. Ana and I also have that sort of arrangement. They have been doing it for years.
Ana and I spent the Sunday sleeping at my apartment pretty much. I could not get the situation out of my head and barely slept, but being together made me feel better. We talked about the future extensively and Ana promised me that she will cut all communication with Betty once the lease is over, but currently there is nothing she can do. She also brought up living together again, and the following day also told me how she was looking into jobs that are close to my place.
Monday: going on a break with Ana
Ana went to work on Monday morning (5AM) from my house and I worked from home. I did not get anything done thinking about the whole situation and later in the afternoon Ana and I continued to talk about it. Later at night, as Ana was sending me text messages on how she was cleaning the house, Betty was also posting on social media about it. I told the whole story to my best friend who seemed mortified about the situation and asked me to be careful. Monday night I sent Ana a long message explaining that I need some time to think about our relationship. I said that I could not trust her judgement and was afraid for what might happen if she still hangs with this crazy person not now, but in the future as we think of a life together. Will she be at our wedding? At her birthday parties? Will she be involved in our lives? Even though she has told me she will not, I know that Ana has been well aware of how Betty is but nothing has changed in their friendship these past 17 years. It has only become stronger.
Ana was very hurt from my message and called me right away. After a one hour conversation where she pushed me to decide on breaking up or continue the relationship she hung up when I told her to please give me until Friday. She does not understand how it is that I am re-thinking our relationship if it is that I love her. I do care so much about her, but have not been able to move past what happened and the fear that she might introduce me to similarly dangerous people or environments, be it with Betty or with someone else, is severely impacting my ability to think there is a future here. To keep the story short this is the third time Ana has tried to, or has introduced me to, people or situations that pose a danger to me and her. I also have not been able to get out of my head how it is that she is friends with this person, Betty, who is so visibly crazy and with whom she has a matching tattoo, years of friendship, experiences, etc.
Tuesday: Ana’s early morning call and social media login attempt
At 7:30AM of Tuesday, as I was getting ready for work, Ana called me to tell me she was sorry for blocking me on social media and on iMessage. By doing that I no longer have access to her location. I was not aware since she had done that at night, after I had asked for some time. She told me she “did not want me to think the posts from her story were directed toward me”. She also told me that “she wanted to have some sort of control seeing how I was having her wait for a decision and felt lost”. She also confessed she could not sleep and had gotten to work very early, thinking through everything in her car at her workplace parking lot. Ana begged me to please consider our relationship and after trying on the phone we hung up for the day, and have not talked since.
After hanging out with Ana I noticed I also had an unread message of a login attempt into my Instagram. That was never happened before and my mind instantly went to Betty. At this point I might be overthinking, however, after such an awful experience.
I am in a situation where I have to decide whether to have Ana move in with me, live with the fact that she is with a psycho for the next ten months, or simply leave it all behind despite how much I care about her. I don’t know if I am ignoring some red flags and that’s really the reason why I needed the time and am seeking some help on here. I don’t know if I am in the wrong and would like some clarification because I truly feel so lost. Ana has done so much for me in the sense that she listens and I know she loves me, but I am just afraid of her judgement and what she might bring into the relationship in the future. I also feel like I don’t know her like I thought.
Should I lie the relationship or continue to fight? Would sincerely, wholeheartedly appreciate some advice.

Hi, it's my first time using Reddit. And English is not my first language. Sorry for any mistakes. Sorry if it's too long. So my sister 27 and I 20f looks quite similar.. people often calls us twins.. but we're NOT. We have the same height, weight, face ... Literally. I don't know how my parents use the same formula for me which they made my sister 7 years back.. but we're really different.. she's good at studies, sports and everything.. which I'm not . I was a good student with straight A's till grade 7. Everything just changed since then. I was assaulted by by uncle. I never mentioned anything to anybody about it till one of the teachers noticed and kept asking me , so I told her and asked her not to tell anyone else cux it would cause problems within the family and I did not wanted to be the reason my family falls apart. Guess what the next day I went to school and everybody was giving me the look, like I'm just something disgusting. She went and told everyone.. and yet none of my family knew about it. I live under the same roof as my parents and they never noticed anything nor ask me if anything was wrong, I haven't ate for days, stopped going out, failing from all subjects. After I failed my exams my mom kept telling me how my sister was always good at studies and never made them disappointed, and I should be like her . From it's always been like how I should do as good as her. After a year to that incident my mom got to know about it and the first thing she said was " why did you have to go there? " Like really? Not even asking how I was feeling, or even if I'm okay. Fuck. And my sister, she'll wear the clothes and jewelleries that I get for my birthday from my aunt, and tell me I should share . But does it go the other way round? No. Why? because it's hers.. you're such a btch . Whenever I would go out with my friends (3girls) you would go to mom complaining that I'm going around the whole city for look for boys. Like how many times did I cover up for you and your bfs. How pathetic are you , going and telling people that I've got eye surgery to look different from you cuz I hate you! Yeah I do hate you . I've never got my eyes done and you know damn well. For context, I have small Asian eyes. We're Asians but people here do not have small eyes. I was born with these eyes. The biggest difference between you and me. When I was younger they always have said that I was adopted and I used to believe by how they treated me. But the more I grew I started to look exactly like you. I hate myself that I look like you.. I fcking hate myself for it. And mom, if you never wanted me , then did you gave birth , why not just kill me before I was born ? Why not abandon me ? Why not put me for adoption? Why .. could have just swallowed. I still remember the day you told me that I was the biggest mistake you've ever made .. it fcking hurts. It still feels like you just now said that to me.. it hurts that I have to come home early from report giving day , not because I failed just because how I see my friends parents talking with teachers, taking pictures and having a great time. I come home fcking crying with A's and still feel like a failure. Now that I want to move out you ain't event gonna let me do that either. Whenever I'm applying for a job it's not any job that you approve. It's suffocating to live with you people. I hate this . I hate everything.. idk. I don't want be around you people. I just want out. If not by getting job then I'll k!ll myself. At least I won't have to suffer everyday by living with you. I fcking hate it

I'm attending the University of MN this fall, and need to begin a housing search for my parent and I. We both would feel more comfortable living outside of the twin cities in surrounding suburbs (and due to lack of affordability) and I wanted to know which suburbs would offer a bus system that would allow me to commute to and from university (if there are any)?
I'm not sure I could drive back and forth most days and try to find safe/adequate parking, so I figured I'd look into public transportation. I've been a MN native for a long time, but never have lived in the twin cities area. I've been having difficulties understanding the routing system online, so I figured I'd gauge my housing search options with folks who live there already.

Me (F20) and my boyfriend (M25) have been together for little bit over a year. We are eachother’s first loves and the way this man makes me feel (how safe and loved and understood) is out of this world. I know most redditors say “he’s so amazing but” and list many reasons why their partner is in fact not “so amazing” but I do think he is a phenomenal person. Anyhow. Sometimes I feel like I want him more than he wants me, that i’m a burden as he’d rather spend time doing something else instead of me (hah).
We spend 2-3 days a week together and i initiate most of it, he doesn’t really take me on dates or plans things and that wouldn’t really bother me as i am not much of a dates/events person but I do want to feel like a priority, like I matter, like I’m not an afterthought. He doesn’t like texting (however at the beginning we texted non stop) and it’s very common for him to not respond for almost the entire day. We’ve talked about this before and now he calls me everyday (unless he forgets because he’s a pretty disorganized person, we also assume he has ADHD) on his way to work, so that I feel wanted and he doesn’t feel pressured to text as much. He doesn’t live in my city and I don’t have a license yet so he has to pick me up whenever we hang out at his place or go somewhere (he claims this doesn’t bother him at all and he actually enjoys him and I had decided to trust him on that) so it’s impossible for me to drive up to him by myself (but I have proposed I take a bus to get to him if that’s what it takes to see him and he declined) just to spend and hour together, however, I need more. I need for him to want to hang out with me without me having to ask, I’d love to be with him whenever I have the time, he’s not like that. For example: tomorrow I start work at 4 pm, he at 5pm and it would never cross his mind to ask me to hang out till then, he’d rather spend it alone/with his roomate/playing video games or whatever else. I understand he needs alone time (so do I, as I have many side hobbies) but the day after that is similar and then again: he won’t ask to hang out and if i offer he’ll probably say he can’t as he’s busy. He won’t look at my texts until he feels like it, making me feel extremely neglected. Rarely are the days we spend together full days with a sleepover, they’re maybe a few hours here and there if i’m lucky. He very rarely sees a chunk of free time and thinks of me, he doesn’t really look at our work schedules and sees which days both of us are free. He wants me to move in with him as that way we’ll be able to spend more time together but that’s not an option for me yet.
I have many mental health issues and am going to therapy (so working on it) so consequentially I (a lot of the time) can’t really differentiate between my problems with him being a reflection of my poor mental health and many issues or are they actually valid.
I have asked him before if he could take more time for me and plan things, he is making progress but I fear it’s not enough. He said he’s now afraid to tell me that he wants to spend time alone because then I’ll feel like he’s not attentive enough, even though that’s not true at all. I want him to have free time and time with friends, all I wish is for him to squeeze me in between that and not for me to feel like I’m forcing my own boyfriend to spend time with me. I am now at a point where I’m borderline afraid to even propose any time together because I cannot escape the feeling that he only does it to please me (he says that’s not true).
When we’re together his attention is all mine, he’s attentive and caring, touchy and complementary, we laugh and we cry together, he is an amazing listener and knows how to calm me down. When we’ve traveled together we had a great time, we work amazingly as a team, have fun etc. I feel no doubts when I’m actually with him in person but if I don’t see him for an extended period of time (let’s say a week) I start to doubt his feelings and care for me. He doesn’t respond to my texts for a whole day (and I send him maybe one two to texts, sometimes a meme, I wouldn’t say I’m overbearing at all), forgets to call, doesn’t look at his timetable and mine to plan something, he just goes living his life as if I didn’t exist. Sometimes I fear that if I don’t ask to see him, we won’t hang out for a month before he remembers he has a girlfriend.
Am I expecting too much of him or is he giving me too little?

So from what I’ve been told, Uber does prioritize Drivers with an acceptance rate of 50% or higher.
I know a lot of famous gig/rideshare drivers have encouraged the notion of 2+ per mile and acceptance rate doesn’t matter, but…
I’m beginning to beg differ. When I had an acceptance rate of 70-98% I made 180-300$ a day, just doing UberEats.
When I stopped taking orders less than 10$ because I was in an area that required longer mileage into residential areas, that’s when my orders started looking iffy but not bad, but when my acceptance rate hit a new low of less than 50% 🤧 idk. I got 2.50 orders for days.
With my acceptance rate probably at 10% and summer crash hitting everyone with 4$ and less orders back to back, I’m starting to really wonder; as there are some drivers out here making 300$ still.
and I’ve driven to different major cities, and it feels the exact same no matter where I go.
I really think Uber is black listing Drivers with low acceptance rates.
We might just have to take some garbage orders to get above 50% to see

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https://preview.redd.it/b4783vw52o4b1.png?width=1081&format=png&auto=webp&s=421402cb437516f4711e981cdb3771fa803400fd
Is this just a coincidence? Did I manage to make more mistakes with each video? I understand why each of the videos didn't perform as well as they did, but the decrease between each video seems too perfect. Do any of you know why?