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Research nightmare/dilemma
Hey all, hoping to get a few objective perspectives on this:
Situation — I was working on a research project through a highly competitive subspecialty dept at my home institution’s hospital. This isn’t my first clinical research project with them, and overall I’ve had a good experience with our group. They’ve taught me a lot and I’ve managed to get a few pubs from my work here and a handful of first authorships, so I’m overall really happy with this relationship/set up.
The project in question was going well until an upperclassman was added to it, and was essentially out in charge. He is probably one of the most inflexible and unprofessional people I’ve ever had to work with. I tend to get along with most people and I have a pretty long fuse after years of working in retail and as an ER tech, but this person began rattling off demands as soon as he was added to the project. I’m fairly convinced he didn’t read the proposal, nor have a full grasp of what we are trying to accomplish. It’s been nearly two years of the most irrational/erratic demands + he tends to drop off the face of the earth for months at a time (no response to email or phone/text followup for at least 3-8 months in most cases) until he finds a deadline that is 24-48 hours away and pushes for same day meetings plus a fully edited and finished manuscript that is “publishable asap”…
He’s done this at least three times now. I’ve spoken with the PI who, not only informed me he was no longer supervising the project (surprise for me), but also said he “recommended a change in leadership of this project”.
Today this student texted the four of us on the project at ~10:45/11pm after being MIA and unresponsive for > 8 months, opening with “sorry I’ve been busy with other projects”, and giving us a totally new hypothesis/trajectory for the project — again, he wants a full finished manuscript within 48 hours. He assigned me 3 sections and is “requesting” a 3-4 paragraph minimum per section. Now, I’m in dedicated at the moment, I let him know in a separate chat, which he obviously dismissed, and he tried to make it seem like I’m being unreasonable for requesting a more realistic submission deadline. I’m honestly not starving for research, and I’m leaning toward dropping this project tomorrow morning because not only do I find this behavior wildly unprofessional/disrespectful, but I have to prioritize passing this exam over a paper that’s going absolutely nowhere.
I tried reasoning with him tonight, and he’s just doubling down on his demands. Additionally, the goal/direction/leadership of this paper keeps changing hands so we (myself and the other preclinical students) keep getting conflicting feedback on the lit review/outlines that we do have.
Just wanted to get an idea if this is a universal experience and if I’m being unreasonable or not — a few friends outside of med school suggested I “suck it up” just in case it works out.
Now, I’m fully aware that the medical field is paved by taking your licks and “sucking it up” for a potential pay off layer on — that’s fine (ish) I get that it happens in every industry, but at this level? Peer to peer? Am I wrong for thinking that’s just obnoxious and ridiculous?
Feel free to be candid, if I’m out of line I’d rather know before committing professional suicide lol (plus this is a throwaway account). Thanks in advance if you’ve made it this far.

I’ve been on it for about 5 months now, my ears and scalp are nearly pretty much clear which is awesome. Unfortunately, it’s still persisting in my groin and just hurts so much. Wondering if I need to just be patient and keep taking it, or if I need to do something else to address it. If anyone has any experience in this regard please let me know!

Two days ago, I broke up with someone I've had the best relationship with. It was a fairy tale that ended because of a very sad event in our lives. And because we were not on the same page about how to go through the dramatic change. He did not talk to me about his worries about our relationship. That made his romantic love fade away with each day, however he had hope that things will get better once the life is more stable and solid. He did not take direct action to fix things on his side tho. I did all the “lets talk about us”. Right until I couldn't do it anymore.
We said our goodbye yesterday. Around 6 hours of talking, crying, laughing, remembering happy times. Best breakup I've had after a serious relationship. We want to be friends. Not sure how to be friends if I am in so much pain right now. After the goodbyes I felt sad but calm.
A new morning - and I burst out crying in a street on my way to the hotel. I have a headache, my mouth, lips and my throat hurt because I cry so loudly. If feels like my body has been turned inside out, and left to sit there in cold wind. I know I shouldn't drink or smoke. I do not want that. I do not even want to eat.
I am alone very very far from home. We came here together. Now I do not know of we can leave together. Neither of us have homes cause our home is physically unsafe.
I have no other friends here and I do not know what to do to make this transition to being single as smooth as possible. I've met ppl. But those are just charting and chilling. Plus everybody gets high where I am now. I need someone to be near me not online. And I can't go back home right away : 1) it is unsafe 2) it is expensive 3) I am not ready to get on a plane alone. Don't want to spend 10+ flight crying because I am alone and it would be my first flight solo.
This is my third serious relationship. But I have never been 100% alone in between relationships. Since 2016. Fuck. How do I learn to be single? I am writing this because I am desperate. I read articles “how to get over the ex if you still love them” because I fucking do! We broke up because I was hurting because he did not love me as I loved him. And I know this was a right decision. And I am proud I did it. But damn. I am absolutely alone. I will start therapy soon. But what do I do in the meantime? To stay alive and not harm myself because I do not want to feel this pain anymore.
I wake up in the morning and before I open my sleepy eyes i know - it is there. It sits in my chest and under my ribs. It makes the inside of me so empty yet heavy.
I've read I should go out for a walk or a hike move and not sit at home all day. But hiking was our thing. How do I get over him if I am surrounded by memories of him all around?
I want to call him up and ask him to come over and just lay next to me. Because he is the only person I know here. I do not want to get back together. I just need a friend now. Is that a bad idea? Given that I cannot access my friends right away.

If comfortable doing so, can you PA subs share your district's daily rates? The rent and cost of living is crazy in PA, and I still get 122-175 a day, depending on how many days I have subbed. This range is the same across the multiple districts near me. Texas, Colorado, Cali, all have rates over $225, because of cost of living, but shit is high here too, so I'm curious if anywhere in PA pays well?

So I recently split with my ex girlfriend of nearly 3 years. She had a tendency to be manipulative, but I gave it another shot recently for a few months. Bizarrely she came to me the other day and announced she no longer wanted to shave at all and asked if it was a deal breaker. I told her I’d still love her and accept her if she made an effort from time to time, but that if she insisted on making zero effort i‘d feel she wasn’t serious about me. I made it absolutely clear that wasn’t to imply I expected her to shave 24/7 everyday, just that id appreciate it if she put some effort in sometimes as I do with her.
Next thing I know she starts going ballistic twisting my words calling me a joke and shallow, trying to imply also that there is literally nothing I could do by comparison with my body to make her desire me less sexually. That even if I gained 300lbs or refused to wipe my ass she still would to the same degree. I called her out obviously as it was ridiculous.
Finally she started trying to imply I was the kinda guy that would leave or fall out of love with a woman if she was unable to shave due to a terminal illness or something. I actually said the complete opposite though and had reassured her of that in the past also. Nonetheless she kept telling me I’m some horrible psychopathic shallow asshole despite me telling her I literally just meant it’d be nice if she made an effort sometimes. That I in no way expected it 24/7 and that obviously I would still love and accept her if she couldn’t for whatever reason.
Im not really looking for advice to be honest, but has anyone else ever dealt with gaslighting from a partner or something to this extreme degree? The whole thing has been completely bizarre and quite frankly insane tbh. I left her and bizarrely she still carried on believing these things that are almost entirely the opposite of what I said. Bit insane
​
**TL;DR;** : Ex gf twisted my words in a really bizarre and insane way. Not looking for help, more looking to see if anyone else has ever experienced similarly?

I haven't been doing well, as of late. I am barely able to even take liquids. I managed half a bowl of rice, and some soy milk, today. Also, my electrolytes, in water. I am constantly nauseaus, and I cannot take it, anymore. I try to eat, but even seeing or smelling the food makes me meltdown, cry, or nearly vomit.
(ARFID+ AN, here. Also, autistic and sensory sensitive. To explain why even the sight or smell of the food is fucking me up so bad...) I think the nausea is also contributing, to my inability to eat.
I took a pantoprazole, and drank some more hot soy milk. It's not helping. I have had nausea, plenty of times, before. Never this bad, though.
Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you

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Please read the whole post.
Hopeless romantic here looking to hopefully find the one! Looking to find the one. I'm hoping to find someone I can stay at home with and go out to the beach, go out to places with, learn to ballroom dance, have a picnic date, stay in during a rainy night and watch movies/ tv shows together. Looking for the cliche moments from rom-coms but also more 😊. I'm also willing to chat/ hangout to be friends before we start a relationship. We can watch a movie, tv show, anime together online if you don't live near by.
Looking for someone who is open minded. 18-35 (might be open to anyone older if we vibe). Someone who is willing to meet up later in the future. I'm fine with someone who smokes Marijuana but no other drugs or cigarettes. Can be from anywhere.
https://imgur.com/a/raBNEpX
A little about me:
My name is Felipe. I'm Hispanic, male, age 27, 5'9". I have photos on my profile. I'm chubby. I'm introverted at first but the longer you get to know me then I become more extroverted. I love fall/autumn weather. Currently studying architecture design. I hope to construct buildings for families in need of a home in the future. I have big ambitious goal for my career. I speak Spanish.
I'm into the arts: I love to draw, paint and create all sorts of art.
I love to play video games: All time favorite game is Skyrim, but I like to play games like BF2042, Minecraft, Smash Bros, Zelda, etc.
I also, really love to watch movies, anime, tv shows, etc: some of my favorite movies are Trick r Treat, The Dark Night, Interstellar, The Exorcist, 5 year engagement, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Harry Potter series, lord of the rings series, 10 things I hate about you, the office, the Addams family, Wednesday and many more. Favorite genres are horror and rom coms ("do you like cheese?"😄).
My favorite type of music is all genres of rock and electronic music, classical, movie music, game music, culture based music, anime music. I rarely hear rap, hip-hop, and country. Some artist I listen to is Avenged Sevenfold, Apashe, Mozart, El tri, Queen, Hans Zimmer.
My favorite holiday is Halloween. 🎃
I live in the Washington, United States. I dont smoke cigarettes. I smoke cannabis only socially (maybe like 3 or 4 times a year). I'm fine if you smoke but occasionally like me. I casually drink socially but I'm not dependent on it to have a fun time. I actually prefer having fun without the need of drinks. I love all animals 🙂. I'm vaccinated. PLEASE add "ghost" in your response so I know that you read my whole post.
This is a little bit about myself but the more we talk then the more you'll get to know me. Send me a chat if interested! I'm usually respond quickly if I'm not doing anything at that time.

I live in a big southeast Asian city and the pool scene here is great, with about 4 pool halls that take turns hosting tournaments and probably 100+ regular players that cycle through.
The hard part is keeping track of the handicaps especially between the pool halls. Every owner has their own system and each hall has their own isolated scores. So if I play one hall less frequently, it may have me on a lower handicap than I am everywhere else and thus not fair to the regulars at that hall.
I would like to take the initiative to unite the halls but creating a system from scratch sounds daunting.
I’m not sure we need something as robust as Fargo (I think the owners would give up on it), but perhaps some kind of shared excel sheet that was easy to input players, results etc. and then the sheet has a simple algorithm that increases and lowers handicaps.
Anyone know of anything or ever attempt something like this?

(Flair is probably wrong or this may even be in the wrong section, apologies in advance)
Saw John Wick 4 a few hours ago in 4DX. Great movie, though I wouldn't recommend 4DX(basically it's a big too strong, and took me out of a few action sequences briefly), but not because of what I'm about to talk about.
I bought my ticket through the app last week. Since I was going alone I could only pick from certain spots. 4DX seats are four together. My seat was the left most one, three to the right of it vacant at the time.
Tonight when I arrived there were three people in those vacant seats. I checked to make sure I hadn't sat in the wrong row and I wasn't. I sat to the left of my seat(which put me in a new row of four, which was empty at the time but filled shortly after this nonsense happened) because these were three people I didn't know. The seats I sat in weren't moving and I considered just staying there but decided against it because If I just wanted standard seating, I wouldn't have paid for 4DX. I don't always have time to go to the movies so I wasn't going to go get a refund and to be honest I didn't have to.
I got up and sat in my seat. The three people there naturally got quiet, the young lady next to me just said "No, just no" and got up and moved. These are all understandable reactions. I'm some random guy they don't know now sitting right next to them for about three hours.
If any if you three are reading this(the two guys stayed about five minutes before moving to sit with the young lady), I didn't like it either but I paid for the seat. If I had just stayed where I was, I would have had to move anyway because of the next group that came. If you sat there and didn't pay for those spots, I wish you hadn't. If you paid not knowing a seat was taken, that's a different story.
I checked the app again, my seat was right. I even checked the email before driving home, same seat number.
Either these three people sat in the wrong spot on purpose, or they bought the seats and didn't know another person was in that row.
It's something minor, but I would rather not go through this again in the future. I don't like the idea of messing up someone's good time or having mine messed with either.
I think your app already warns people about seats near them being occupied, but maybe add some more text in an additional screen that people cannot skip past for say, five seconds. That way it's clear as day and people won't pick seats next to strangers.

I feel that my marriage is super imbalanced and I’d like to change that.
My husband is 20 years older than me and makes 10x as much money as I’ve ever made previously in my life. I have never contributed a dime financially to our marriage as I was recently unemployed due to Covid when we married. I’ve never worked since we’ve been together.
I also was not just poor but a poor single mom with a bunch of financial and legal issues. He covered everything without raising an eyebrow. My kids have opportunities I could never have dreamed of for them and my lifestyle went from destitute and miserably stressful to relaxing and luxurious. Like, taking the city bus to dumpy cockroach apartment, to traveling in first class to summer in Europe type of difference.
So on top of this massively imbalanced dynamic, here is what he contributes:

• spends as much spare time with our baby as possible, is a super hands on dad, practically races me to get her for nighttime wakeups because he loves to spend time with her, takes her out on errands multiple times a week so I can rest and sleep in
• completely handles all finances and planning. I have 2 credit cards and i use them and that’s it. I don’t have the bank logins or anything. Occasionally he’ll tell me we need to slow down spending this month, or that he wishes I’d consulted him about a large purchase, but otherwise he just handles everything. He also handles vacations and insurance and home and car expenses and bills and investments. He has said he wishes I were more involved as a partner in these areas but I honestly don’t even know where to begin since he currently covers it all and has his own systems that I don’t understand / aren’t how I work.
• handles all “man” type tasks around the house. fixing things, yard, trash, tree trimming, treating property for ticks, anything involving a ladder.
• handles most of the animal care including scheduling vet appts, hygiene etc
• thanks me and appreciates my efforts constantly

I contribute:

• 100% of cleaning and cooking. I don’t think he’s touched the dishwasher or washing machine or vacuum in like 9-12 months and he basically never uses the kitchen unless he wants a late night snack or something. I make him a nice dinner and either a nice breakfast or lunch which I bring to him in bed or in his office, along with his vitamins and green juices. I keep his home office fridge stocked and always have icy infused water always available. He just leaves his dishes wherever (table, nightstand, desk) and clothes on the floor and I gather them. The house is not pristine because I just can’t do that much pregnant with an infant, but at least I do enough that he doesn’t have to do anything
• large majority of childcare, monitoring health and development, stocking baby care items, planning activities and appointments, etc
• i give him a massage every single night, am always sexually available, try to run him nice baths and other pampery things
• routine easy animal care like daily feeding and walking, just not bigger things like health and bathing
• Make sure he gets more downtime than me. He plays 2 hours of video games per night in the massage chair or hot tub while I’m cleaning up

I already feel stretched thin but I am hyper aware of the imbalance every day. He wanted to hire a housekeeper and nanny but that would take away the few things I actually contribute so I’ve resisted even while overwhelmed. I tell myself I’ll be taking care of him when he’s old so I can finally like we’re more even, lol.
But in the meantime, what can I possibly do to be more of an equal partner?

I stay with my boyfriend frequently. I would say on average four nights a week. He lives in an older house not historic probably pushing early-mid nineteen hundreds (by the doors and woodworking I would think somewhere near 1950’s.) It’s a duplex and he has lived here for just under a decade. He has told me that he has something that follows him. He’s a beautiful person and everything. He grew up in a spiritual family. I’ve had subtle experiences throughout my life and lots of coincidences. Anyways long story short. On multiple occasions when him and I are just relaxing in bed, laughing and talking or near asleep. I feel like a cat is walking up my leg.. like over the blanket.. sometimes I feel it lay down. I’ve had cats my entire life. At first I didn’t compare it to the feeling of a cat. The first few times it really startled me. It still does but now it’s different because now I realize that it feels exactly like a cat jumping on the bed and getting comfy. At first I had nothing to associate it with so it shook me a lot more. My boyfriend loves cats and had Siamese growing up. But his land lord is highly allergic and he’s never been allowed to have one in this residence. When it first started happening we were both hearing a lot coming of noise (almost like shuffling) from the other room in the middle of the night and began talking about it. Now we joke when it happens that it’s ok and that it’s just his cat. But a few nights ago it happened in the living room (it’s only ever happened when we are laying in bed.) Only this time it made me feel like it was something dark and startled me like it did the first few times. It’s very distinct, the way it feels is unusual and because I’ve been a cat owner for so long every single time it happens I jump and look at my leg like ready to greet something. It’s weird and I thought I would share.

How?
I have a job currently that would take me around 45 mins to drive to from where school would be next year (when my son starts) and 45 mins on the way back. Which cuts down my time at work from a 9-5 to potentially 9:30 to 2:30. Which is not a job that can be done in those hours, nor possible to do WFH (aged care)
Yes there is after school care. But I’d prefer not to use it during his first year(s) at school. Yes, I have a village but they are elderly or nearing their elder years and the rest of my village has either passed away (Mum), is moving away, or has other work / kid commitments. MIL is tied up with my SILs kids. My husband works 60+ hours a week.
I’m it.
The job I have is fine for this year but wholly inconvenient and not sustainable long-term. How do people do it? And why does it feel so bloody unfair?

Just got into the game today with a full VR and wheel setup and it's mad fun but im having a problem that makes the endurance part of ACC untouchable for me. whenever i go to pit and stop in my box my menu starts cycling up and i can't select anything in any of the menus before or after i stop and i can't make it stop cycling up. i have tried to fix the problem but im nearing two hours played and don't wanna lose my refund time on something i feel unable to fix alone

I don't know when this happened but it's extremely noticeable. From the game I just got done playing, I saw plenty of times where someone saw me, looked me in the eyes and started firing the weapon but it looked like they were stuck in the butter dimension and moved at speeds so slow that turtles are blushing and then there's a guy with a Trustee firing the damn thing like it's damn near an auto rifle. I know Trustee fires fast but not "Kill you before a single burst of your pulse rifle." fast.
So what's up?

Guten Morgen to this global band of Apes! 👋🦍
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This has truly been one of the most exciting weeks in the GME Saga in quite a long time. Credit Suisse's failure and takeover by UBS started things off, followed by the Fed continuing to hike rates. GameStop posted a quarterly profit, followed by a nearly 50% jump in share price. A massive jump in daily volume included an enormous amount of short sales. And meanwhile, the SHFs continue to attempt to sneak in regulatory rule changes that help them at the cost of everyone else.
Despite all of this, nothing has changed. The Institutional Shorts continue to amass even larger short positions, as they simply have no other choice. GameStop is still in an incredible position financially and poised for incredible growth in the future. Apes HODL an incredibly large portion of the company in our own names, growing daily.
So as we continue to await the day when the shorts are forced to close their positions, let's celebrate the company that brought us together.
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I’ve never posted on here before except for a few comments on others’ posts. I am a 38M that has been drinking since I was 16. I did stop twice during that time due to military deployments but that wasn’t by choice. I made sure to makeup for lost drinking opportunities every time I had a chance! Recently, I had finally had enough and quit for nearly 6 months. My wife and kids were really getting tired of me being a drunk and so was I. Blackouts were becoming common. Reckless behavior was becoming more frequent. I had to stop, so I did, until about a week ago. I bought a bottle of bourbon and drank the entire thing. Let everybody down and felt like complete crap! I am not going to let that slip define me though. I know I want to quit even more than before. I honestly didn’t even feel that terrible about giving in because I felt a shift inside me afterwards that gives me confidence going forward. It solidified to me that quitting is the right thing. I don’t get caught up in numbers or dates. How long I’ve been sober doesn’t matter to me, just that I am at this moment. I am honestly going to take it one day at a time from now on. This community has been extremely helpful and I want to thank everyone that posts. Many are so relatable.