I feel like I need to vent. Sorry for the long post.
So I found out I was pregnant on March 17th. My doctor wouldn’t see me until my 9th week of pregnancy. So my fiancé and I decided to schedule an ultrasound elsewhere, and we saw our baby for the first time and hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks. I still kept the appointment with my doctor.
On April 24th, during the appointment with the doctor, she asked if I had been bleeding. When I said I had not, she told me she could not find a heartbeat. She said this was a missed abortion/miscarriage. Since this was a late Friday afternoon, she suggested that either I go to the ER that night or wait until my follow up appointment the following Monday. My fiancé and I decided to go to the ER and they did confirm the miscarriage.
I ended up switching to a different obgyn office since the one I was originally going to wouldn’t take my insurance for pregnancy. I went to the new doctor for a follow up. She suggested I take misoprostol in order for me to pass the baby. I took it on May 1, and then the second dose on May 2. I went for a follow up ultrasound the following week and still had not passed the baby.
*Side note: this obgyn does not have ultrasound equipment in her office. I need to go to a nearby hospital for an ultrasound. The hospital then sends the results to my doctor. The hospital staff isn’t allowed to give me any results. I have to wait for my doctor to give me a call. *
The doctor suggested I take misoprostol again (this time through the vagina). I took this on May 12th. It’s been almost 3 weeks of bleeding. I went for a follow up ultrasound today, June 1. The ultrasound tech said she was going to rush the results to my doctor. When I called my doctor, they said that they would set up a teleconference appointment for tomorrow. I know (because I asked and saw) that I have not passed the baby.
It’s been a month and my baby is still in me. I just don’t know how to feel anymore. The idea of doing the D&C scares me. I’m trying to avoid it as much as possible. But as of now, it seems like the only option? I’m getting married next week and then I’m traveling for 2 weeks after that. I worry that I’ll end up passing tissue while I’m traveling. I don’t know what to do.

Tuesday afternoon, near the end of my shift, I stopped by Zaxby's to grab a bite to eat. I ordered, and immediately after, an order pops up on my phone. Zaxby's going 1.5 miles for $5.50. I accepted. Our orders came up at the same time which was VERY quick. The food was fresh and hot. I remember thinking, "This is going to be a super fast delivery, Shanya!"
​
I get to the apartment, reach in my hot bag, and this food is steaming hot. I set it at the door, go to take a picture and the spiral of death comes up. 20 seconds later, "Something went wrong. Application encountered unknown error" or some bullshit. I don't know about you guys, but when this happens the only option is to select "Handed Order Directly To Customer". I even opened up messages and tried to send a photo that way. "Message could not not be sent" Great. I'm not restarting my phone and I didn't want to call her while standing at her door, so I knocked. Shanya comes to the door. I say, "I'm sorry, the app wasn't working so I couldn't send you a picture." I realize now this is probably what got me in trouble. She picks her food up off the doorstep and says "That's fine." I end my shift and go home.
​
Later that night, I log in to schedule a shift and there's a Contract Violation. Order Never Arrived. Zaxby's. I only did one Zaxby's order that day so I immediately knew who it was. I thought, "Thaaat biiitch!" Her food had to be on-point. And we even spoke to each other! I immediately submitted details via the app. I included everything in that description that I could think of. Apartment number, customer name, what she looked like, the app glitch, and told them I would be sending video.
​
That same night, I got my SD card out of my dashcam and used ClipChamp to piece it together. I showed the interior of the car when I pulled the food out of the hot bag. You could clearly see it was Zaxby's. I then switched to the forward facing camera which showed me walking from my car, with the food, up to the second floor where her apartment was. You could see the building number in the video. About a minute later, I come down the stairs empty handed and get in my car. After finishing the video, I called support back to request an email that I could reply to with a reference number. I replied to that email and also sent a separate email to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) with a link to the video and the reference number in that first email from support.
​
Today around 4:00, the Contract Violation went away. It worked! I tried to include *everything* in this post so you guys can do this yourselves if you get a CV. I recommend getting the video sent the same day you receive the violation. It usually takes 24-48 hours to "Process" the violation, but get it in as soon as you can. Always try to park where your camera can see the address or at least a building number. I probably should have called her, but who knows if she would have answered. I have a suspicion that this person was a dasher, but I'm not sure. Shanya, if you're on this sub, shame on you. If your account isn't deactivated, I hope stray cats piss on all your future orders.
​
Be safe out there. Don't let the low-lifes win! And may the tips be in your favor.

I was driving a Nissan versa Note 2019, the other driver turned directly in front of me at a double green turning left, striking head on on the passenger side. My head bounced off the airbag, i went to the er, got a CT scan few days later. I was clear but still have bad brain fog because I already had brain fog from sibo/sifo. I saw a concussion doctor and they raised my amitriptyline, I got an increase on my pain meds from my pain doctor, i am trying to get to PT but nearly becoming homeless and recovering from concussion has made that difficult. I see the concussion docs in a few weeks again, but im going to schedule with a neurologist.
Anyway, the other driver was doing doordash and was negligent by looking at their phone and not checking for oncoming traffic. A police officer witnessed the accident at the intersection. The other driver admitted in text message that he did not look for oncoming traffic, which I believe is proof of negligence without subpoenaing his phone records.
My question is, once I attend PT for several weeks, continue to see concussion doctors for ongoing brain fog(I had another wreck and concisson that was a little worse this time last year too, super fun lol, but that one was my fault I hit anyone I ran into a bus LOL) how much do you think I should try to get out of them. Do you think I need a lawyer or would that reduce how much I get?
This situation nearly made me homeless, and forced me to move out of my home due to lost wages, idk if that factors into pain and suffering. I got raises on my ADHD meds and antidepressant because of the worsening of issues I already had. I'm worried because of the craziness I wasnt able to get to PT very quickly, but I'm going to argue recovering from the concussion and lack of transportation plus nearly losing my home made it very difficult. I'm still going to go though, i went once but they weren't adequate, I have scar tissue from a back surgery two years ago and chronic back pain and it made it worse like I said I got a raise on pain meds. I need instrument assisted soft tissue manipulation (IASTM) to break up it up and get the spasms to stop and the muscle work correctly.
Sorry for the book, but I think i have a good case here, him being a dordash driver(considered commercial driver so higher standard of care here) plus obvious proof of nrgkigence. Do you think I can get over 10k? Do I need a lawyer, or could I threaten them with a lawsuit myself showing the how their driver admitted to negligence over text in his description in the accident. Thank you for any insight. I've never been in a situation like this but I know my sister and mom got over 20k on their whiplash settlement. There is also new concussion research showing 50 percent still have symptoms 6 months later, and some never completely recover. This has messed up my life beyond recognition, but if I get a good settlement and lost wages I can turn it around.
Accident was on April 20th, I've only been able to get to PT once because of the craziness and how out of it i have been with brain fog. I hope I make a full recovery but I have gut issues which I believe is slowing the healing process. But like i said, I have a lot of evidence of pain and suffering from getting increases on almost all my meds. Thanks for any insight and sorry for the wall of text lol

Sino available today? Tara museum or kahit ankng trip mo .. lets exchange pics agad to see if we vibe..
About me:
25 years old
60kg normal bmi slighty built body into sports and fitness
Decent guy .
Cant pick you up
( If available ka today and gusto mo gumala and open minded for nsfw bahala na later)

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Honda Financial has their set lease buyout price but doesn't finance directly in NYS, instead requiring the buyer to go to an authorized dealer.
The original dealer won't even consider a financing application until a scheduled inspection is conducted citing lemon law obligations. The red flag? Wanting to charge for inspection of parts unrelated to lemon law such as cabin filter.
Other Honda dealership says their process is come in and fill out financing paperwork, no mention of an inspection.
The first dealer reeks of greed and bullshit. Can someone confirm if my nose is accurate?

I discovered yesterday that you can get coordinates for unobtained side quests from Patricia, and today she gave me the coordinates of -0249 1041 -2438. This is quite obviously suuuuper deep below the castle, but I've beaten the game and couldn't find any other places to go down there even close to this. Does anyone know anything about this that could point me in the right direction (quite literally)? Is this just coordinates for the final boss in case you couldn't otherwise figure out where it was?

Using a burner acct for privacy but wanted to make sure I'm not missing anything.
I'm about to be 49, recently took a job making $180k (bonus eligible but not counting on it), starting to wonder how stable the company is. Wife makes maybe $10k/year, uses most for her own expenses. I make another $10k or so a year in side work. Kids are grown and out.
Between 401k/ESOP/HSA/Trad IRA (rollovers)/Roth IRA's, I have about $815k, another $70k in brokerage. $30k in hysa but that's mostly budgeted money (I'm a budget nerd, saving for car insurance, pet care, etc, etc) so I don't count that.
I'm currently maxing out 401k (traditional), Roth IRA's for both of us and HSA. I recently modified my budget to live on roughly $5k/month. Mortgage is $[email protected]% (worth just over $500k), PITI is around $1,750. Scheduled to be paid off in 11 years I think.
Thing is, I'm burnt out. Recently got back from a long vacation, doesn't matter, I'm done in this line of work (IT). Been doing it 27 years or so, just so tired of the constant fire drills. I occasionally do DoorDash/UberEats, I like the simplicity of it (doesn't really make financial sense after insurance, gas, weatear, etc) but I enjoy it most of the time.
My plan is to keep maxing out tax advantaged accounts but put everything else into my brokerage account, investing in the S&P500, to build up just north of $400k, which should take me until about 55. Then quit IT and get a job, part time preferably but open to full time, maybe driving for Amazon or the USPS, thinking $30k or so a year, preferably something with health insurance, continue maxing out Roth IRA's and doing this until I pull the plug at 62, living off of work income and brokerage savings until then. Brokerage savings should allow me to not work if I didn't want to but it's not about not working, it's about getting out of IT. It would also allow me to be picky about jobs. Assuming I could get ACA policies cheap enough, if I hated a job, I could easily quit. I might even want to try a few different jobs. Plan is to also do some Roth conversions during this time.
House is worth just over $500k, no idea what it'll be in 6+ years, also saving for some much needed updates. One possibility is to sell when I hit 55 and pay for something smaller, less maintenance, in cash.
The money I make is good but I just can't see keeping up with technology anymore, I hate studying, certs are expired. Wife won't take a full time job to earn more so that's off the table. Just so many days I wish I could retire "today".
Is this plan anywhere near workable? Anyone see any big holes? Anyone done this or in the same shoes? Anyone see a way that I could quit even earlier?

is anyone else having this issue 🤨

I was at my mother in law's house today to do my eyelashes. My eyes are twitchy when closed so I had to do something to relax. I told her to pick my phone , press voice search on YouTube and then I wispered ..."Asmongold TV" and blindly clicked close to the top of my phone. We did eyelash extensions listening to Diablo 4 strange updates. I don't play Diablo she doesn't know English.

This is a modified version of Federico Viticci’s S-GPT shortcut. It has all the capabilities of S-GPT and more. Reply “stop” to end the shortcut.
Prime is a shortcut to have conversations with OpenAI's ChatGPT assistant on your iPhone, iPad, and Mac. The shortcut supports both text conversations as well as voice interactions when used inside Siri. The shortcut requires a helper shortcut called Prime Encoder that needs to be downloaded separately. Persona Mode requires an ElevenLabs API key and a Voice ID to be entered in Prime Encoder. Privacy permission pop ups will appear during the first run of the shortcut, first run of some of the “Modes”, and for various “Actions”, like saving a file, when they are used for the first time. Some of these will show up multiple times, which is normal for the way the Shortcut is made. Choose “always allow” to avoid these in the future. There are some folders that need to be created in your iCloud drive, this explained in the setup section of the shortcut.
​
Siri Prime's Modes: Say or type “run ___ mode” to activate. The “run” phrases can be said at any point in your response to allow for more fluid activation. Some of these modes are available through Siri, but I wanted to add them to Siri Prime to increase functionality.
​
•Clipboard - Siri Prime will interact with your clipboard. Ex: “Summarize my clipboard” or “Draft a polite response to the message in my clipboard”.
•Live Text - Siri Prime will gather and summarize text from the selected photo.
•Schedule - Siri Prime will check the next 5 days for events and availability.
•Playlist - Siri Prime will create the requested playlist in Apple Music.
•Weather - Siri Prime will provide you with a friendly weather report for anywhere in the world.
•Forecast - Siri Prime will provide you with a friendly 10 day forecast for anywhere in the world.
•Picture - Siri Prime will take a basic idea for a picture and spruce it up for Dall-e.
•Persona (Due to a bug with Siri and the “Play Sound” action, this is best run from the shortcut)- Siri Prime will start a conversation as the chosen ElevenLabs voice. Remaining words for your account will be displayed in the user input prompt. Reply “Stop” to end Persona Mode.
•Message - Siri Prime will take a basic idea for a SMS message and spruce it up before sending it to the selected contact. Contacts are selected by first name.
•Maps - Siri Prime will search nearby for the given criteria and then get directions for your choice.
•Wallet - Siri Prime will send or request money from the selected contact.
​
Links:
-Prime: https://www.icloud.com/shortcuts/b43a50ee82284fd1b0a8ef9bc2642362
-Prime Encoder: https://www.icloud.com/shortcuts/0d73cb1702f94cd7996ad5d632479de4

This happened a few months ago. I was helping customers at self-checkout (asking their forms of payment as some machines were card only, locating items passersby needed and guiding them accordingly, etc.). All the self-checkouts were open along with three cashiers working registers.
Things quieted down but I stayed put in case another wave came through. My coworker, let's say Patty (60sF) was waiting to help the next customer that came up. Patty only works nights and I'm mostly scheduled in the morning (not by choice), so we almost never work together. But she's seemed like a nice lady the few times I see her.
Anyway, I directed a customer to Patty and went back to watching self-checkout. In my peripheral vision, I saw her stumble and fall hard to the floor. She dropped the open bottled drink she was holding and lost her shoe in the process. I hurried to her side right when the concerned customer and another helped Patty up. After a while, she said she was okay and went to the breakroom and politely refused my help when I offered a shoulder. I took care of the mess while the concerned customer and I discussed what happened. We concluded her foot was caught between the metal cart bumper pole (about 3 feet tall) and the counter that caused her to fall.
I saw her at work about two months later, and she asked if I saw what happened, so I told her. Our stories matched. She sought medical care after it happened but she said how management is trying to dismiss what happened and refuse to help her.
Today, she called me saying she wanted me to speak with her attorney about the situation since I was the only one who actually saw it happen. I told her I would considering it was an accident, but now I'm having second thoughts. What if this comes back to bite me at work? Could I lose my job if I get involved? Of course I want to do the right thing, but what if this good deed doesn't go unpunished?

I (f26) started dating my current boyfriend(m28) 5 months ago. The last 2 months I've been spending half of the week with him at his place (mine is too small). But now I would like to keep our relationship but I want also to slowly get back a bit into some of my old habits.
I used to work at his place on Fridays but I can't keep doing that on a regular basis because I'm less productive there.
In my country shops close after 8pm and on Sundays. During weekdays I finish work late so Saturday is pretty much the only day I can use to shop for food, clothes etc. So I want to do some of that stuff on Saturdays. I would like to use 2 fridays or saturdays a month to see my friends or even just stay alone at home.
As usual, last weekend my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to spend this weekend with him and I said yes.
Today, I told him I would also like to go for a bike ride because the weather is going to be nice and shop for clothes and on top of that, I have to go as usual to a language class - total of 2h. To which he replied that I'm only thinking about my schedule and I am not taking him into account. That I shouldn't expect him to be free whenever I am done with all I have to do. Which I guess makes sense... and it wasn't my intention to make him feel that way.
The thing is, we didn't have any plans and we rarely have any. On top of that, his father moved in with him and it looks like he doesn't want to leave him alone for more than 2h, so apart from having food, sex and chilling inbetween, I don't think we will be up to much. Maybe we will go for a drink (which is nice) and that's it. Summer is short here, and even though I do like to spend time with him, I want/have to do more than just that.
​
So I guess that I have no other choice than to reduce by a lot the time I spend with him so that next time he asks me if I want to spend the weekend with him, I only give 1 evening, sometimes 2. It's a slippery slope. I'm afraid he's going to be upset or hurt or think that I've lost interest.
What do you think? What would you recommend? Or how would you explain/introduce some more time for yourself in a relationship without hurting the other person.
TL;DR! - How to introduce more "me-time" into a relationship?

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I posted here on Tuesday about my ultrasound. The urologist confirmed that it is a tumor and most likely cancerous. I had blood work done today for tumor markers among other things. I have surgery scheduled for Tuesday to remove the testicle. My doctor said he is going to order a CT scan after he gets the blood work back. This is all being done at John’s Hopkins hospital. Has anyone else been treated there? I feel like I’m actually doing much better today after confirmation from the Urologist than I was after the ultrasound. I’m scared but have accepted it. I guess the results from the blood work and ct scan will keep me even more nervous the next few days. Any advice on what to do to keep my mind off of it all until Tuesday or when I get the results?

I'm not sure if this kind of post is allowed here, since it technically doesn't pertain to Honkai Star Rail, but is more-so targeted towards those players, so remove if necessary. Over the past few weeks I've seen a lot of players from HSR coming over to the various HI3 subreddits and asking various, but generally similar questions. I'm not sure if this has been done before, but I thought I'd make a post with all the information you need to know if you're a HSR player interested in HI3.
There are 3 main reasons I've seen for why HSR players are interested in HI3.

1. You want to learn more about Welt and his past/power.
2. You want to learn about the parallels between the characters in HI3 and HSR(Bronya, Seele, etc)
3. You are interested in HI3, the game itself.

I will provide resources for each of these reasons.

1) You're interested in Welt

Welt is quite the character. He is the only character(that we've seen in-game so far) in HSR that is directly from HI3. As in, they are the same person. There is a lot to him but you won't find much information about him in HSR. There are 2 main HI3 manga which heavily feature Welt:

1. Alien Space (17 Chapters) This manga serves as the bridge between HI3 and HSR, showing why Welt and Void Archives travelled there in the first place. You'll also get to see some of the backstory of HI3's Himeko, and her little adventure with Welt. Even with no knowledge of anything HI3, you should be able to understand this manga fairly well and enjoy it.
2. Second Eruption (66 chapters) This manga features Welt in his prime, during the war between humanity and the Herrscher of the Void during the 2nd Eruption. Welt uses his powers to the best of his ability here, and if you recognize the line "I am Welt of Humanity!...", yeah, that's here. Do note however, this manga will be very difficult to understand without any knowledge of HI3. If you just want to see Welt doing cool stuff, then by all means go ahead and read, but just be prepared to be confused. This is the best HI3 manga in the eyes of most, and also the longest by far, so maybe it might get you interested in HI3's story, for which, you can check the next the section.

Additionally, this post does a fantastic job of summarizing Welt's journey.
There is more to Welt, but this is all you'll get without playing the game.

2) You're interested in the characters/story

If you're interested in what the HSR characters are like in HI3, you'll have to go through HI3's story. But you don't actually have to be playing the game to do so! For the first 6 chapters, you can easily finish them with just the starter characters, and after that, the game will give you trial characters to use for every story chapter. So you can just login whenever you want to do story and not have to worry about actively playing the game.
The story is very highly praised by the community, but it's definitely not easy to get into. In order to get the full experience, you'll have to be jumping between different forms of media, as it is a multimedia story. There are the in-game chapters, several manga, 3 visual novels, anime(yes actual anime), and some amazing YouTube animations. The story is very long, and it will take some effort to go through. But it's definitely worth it. Hoyostans has put together an amazing story guide that you can follow, with everything linked right in the guide so you don't have to be searching for things yourself. Here is the guide
Do note that the early stuff(about the first half of Phase 1 in that guide) is pretty bad in comparison to what comes later, so don't let that discourage you from moving on. The story jumps in quality after chapter 7 and will keep getting better from there. (Ofc, this is an opinion)

3) You're interested in the game

Now if I were to talk about every aspect of the game in detail, this post would be like 10x longer. So I'll try to keep it short(I failed lol). I will also be making some comparisons to HSR and by extension Genshin(yes yes I know...) since this post is mainly targeted towards those players.
HI3 is difficult. As a F2P new player, it will definitely take you a long time to catch up. Powercreep is very present in this game, and characters get replaced fast(within 1 year even). But once your account gets the ball rolling(As in you get 3 teams fairly well built) things get alot easier and you''ll be able to keep up. The endgame starts post level 80, and you will get to level 80 very quickly with the amount of EXP you'll be flooded with. Luckily at level 80 its optional to breakthrough to higher levels and "enter the endgame". So you can remain at level 80 until you feel comfortable with your account to breakthrough.
Team and character building In terms of team building, you don't have much diversity. The teams are pretty much set in stone and there isn't much room for experimentation. "This character only does this and must go on this type of team and is pretty useless elsewhere" is the case for the majority of characters. Of course you can still mix and match but the ideal teams will always be the same. Characters however have alot to them, not just 3 moves. Like, alot. For example, there's a character with 4 different weapons and different movesets for each. (Yatta!).
In terms of character building, unlike Genshin and HSR, we don't technically have 5* gear. Signature gear is actually 4 star. You know the guaranteed 4 star every 10 pulls? You got a pretty good chance of pulling a character's signature gear from that. Unfortunately, every DPS needs their signature weapon. There isn't really any F2P alternatives that can come close to the signature for the majority of DPS, so you'll have to pull it. Supports have some more leeway with weapons but some still require their signature to work.
Artifacts/Relics Unlike Genshin and HSR, we don't have artifacts/relics. We have stigmata(stigma for short). Each character can be slotted with 3 stigma, with 2 piece and 3 piece set bonuses. You have to pull stigma and all signature stigma is 4 star. Therefore on your 10 pull 4* pity, you might either get a stigma or a weapon. Luckily stigma is not as mandatory as weapons, and there is a lot of craftable stigma that can substitute for signature.
Banners There is no 50/50 on character banner. Same 90 hard pity, 75 soft pity. Equipment banners have 5 stigma sets and 5 weapons in the pool, with 1 stigma set and the corresponding weapon rate up. Which means your 4* can be 20 different things, and if you only want 1 specific thing, yeah its tough, but there's a chance you might end up fully gearing another character by complete accident because of this. We also usually know the schedule for the next patch and maybe even the following patch, with all the banner details and events, so it's easy to plan your spending.
Events Honkai has events very often, and they are quite fun and sometimes "inspired" from other games. We essentially had a Fall Guys event, a Plants vs Zombies event, a somewhat Pokemon event and others. Event dialogue is usually pretty humorous and light hearted, and are pretty fun to read through.
End Game Activities There is alot to do in endgame.
Superstring Dimension AKA Abyss Every abyss cycle, you get grouped with a certain number of players, and you compete for score on a leaderboard tied to your group. Depending on your placement, you will earn trophies and either move to higher abyss levels, stay where you are, or move down, with different rewards for each level. Therefore HI3 can be said to be a competitive game. Every 3 days we get a new abyss cycle (not as long as Memory of Chaos or Spiral Abyss of course) and hence rewards.
Memorial Arena Every week, there are 3 bosses which players can compete for score on a global leaderboard(tied to your server like NA, SEA etc). This gives you the opportunity to use your various teams every week as each boss has their own weaknesses. Your score determines your rewards(not relative to other people's score) and your ranking affects some rewards as well but that one isn't really a big deal.
Elysian Realm This is HI3's equivalent of Simulated Universe, with some slightly different mechanics. This technically isn't an endgame activity, but getting higher scores will require you to have good gear. Its a weekly thing with good rewards, and the way characters play in Elysian Realm is fundamentally different from the regular game, since they might get new abilities specific to each character.
Raids Honkai has Co-op. Every week you can team up with 2 other players to go through 6 stages for rewards. To be very honest, Co-op is pretty meh. You'll be able to matchmake with other people easily but alot of people kinda just ignore this.
Oh, and we also have a customizable housing system with Chibi characters, and a global chat where people talk about all kinds of usually crazy stuff(looking at room 1). These are the real endgame activities 👍.
That's the main content besides the dailies, which you can finish with just a few mouse clicks. You will find lots of useful resources in the pinned post on the houkai3rd subreddit, so be sure to read through it if you get into the game.
Thank you for reading! I hope this information will be of use to anyone interested in HI3, and if you have any other things you may want to know, please leave a comment and I will answer if it's within my ability.

Probably nothing but high ping, but Knoqd and Dropped had a small convo about Asleep from ATHXHVY, after the only contest they lost to the Brasilian team during today's second set of international scrims.
¿Do you think there more to it or just them overthinking things?
https://clips.twitch.tv/BrainyFamousOcelotThunBeast-wE3N1dyQMPJGRmHJ

Over Memorial Day weekend, I caught my (27M) girlfriend (28F) cheating on me. I have a lot on my mind so this is going to be a long one... apologies in advance. I want to talk about the night it all went down, the days since, and life going forward.
Context:
I have been with my (likely soon to be ex) girlfriend for nearly 8 years. We met in college at a party and never looked back. Our relationship was never the most exciting or passionate, but we loved each other.
I will be the first to admit I was not a perfect partner. I struggled with alcohol and we both smoked a fair bit of marijuana through college and our early 20s. I also struggled greatly with depression and anxiety. Despite these issues, I always held down a job and paid the bills. We also rarely fought.
I have made great strides in my life to put these issues behind me. I am completely sober and have worked very hard to become the best future husband and father I can be for our family.
Over the years we built a life together. We both graduated college, moved to the big city, and began our careers. We have 2 dogs (luckily no kids) and live in a nice house in a nice suburb that we split rent on. Our lives are integrated. She is a part of my family and I am a part of hers. We have lived together for years and have shared expenses.
We are not engaged yet but I have had a ring for several months now. I had not proposed because I felt there were cracks in our relationship that I wanted to work on before taking that next step. I had tried to have conversations about these issues but was never met with any meaningful dialogue or action.
"D-day":
I think the story of my D-day actually start a couple weeks before it actually happened. One day before work, I had asked my GF (I'll call her J) if she could please clean her dishes in the sink and clean up her pile of laundry in the bathroom. No demands or anything, just "please, I'd appreciate it". J blew up at me. "Do you know how long you were a mess and I put up with it??". I was hurt but at this point I needed to leave for work so I said we need to talk later and headed out the door. I gathered my thoughts during the day and came home a little early from work. We sat down and I laid out the following points:
1. Please stop using the past against me. I know I wasn't perfect but I've worked very hard to become a better person. I cannot be in a relationship where my partner will hold my darkest days over my head to win an argument.
2. J works the nightshift and I have struggled with this in the past. We don't see each other very often as our schedules are completely opposite. She was open to changing to the day shift in the past but recently has hardened her stance. Recently, she has been sleeping a LOT on her days off. I understand nightshift is brutal on one's sleep schedule but it was getting to the point where she would only be awake 4-6 hours on her days off. These few hours she was awake she would lay on the couch and watch TV. It made having a relationship difficult, and it also meant her share of house duties was falling behind (leaving her dishes in the sink, her clothes all over the place, etc).
3. Sex. Our sex life has never been great. I have been open about my desire to improve things, have worked on myself to be an attractive partner, and have tried to discuss her wants and needs as well. There was never any progress.
During this conversation, I asked for her thoughts and feelings on each topic. I desperately wanted an actual dialogue but she was giving me nothing. Ultimately, she said she needed time to think about what I said. Since the conversation, I had not seen her hardly seen her at all. She had been gone almost a week on a hiking trip with some co-workers that had been planned for a while. Then because of work there was another week of not really seeing each other.
Friday night, J asks if I want to go to a birthday dinner for a family friend on Saturday. I had plans that required me to be up early on Sunday, so I said probably not as I knew she would want to stay and hang out late with them. She swore she would not as she had work on Sunday. I only half believed her, but agreed to go because I knew it'd make her happy.
Towards the end of dinner I go to the restroom and when I come back, what always happens happened. "Would you be ok if I actually went out? I won't be out much later" She asked in front of the entire group so I said "sure, you can do what you want" A few minutes later off to the side, I let her know I was upset that she went back on her word but she was un-phased. She promised she wouldn't be out very late and I believed her as the group was primarily mid-30s people with young kids. One of the other people at the birthday dinner assured me they would give her a ride home.
I drove home alone and the anger built. I typed out a long text about how I was hurt that she didn't come home with me like she said she would, but ultimately deleted it before sending. I didn't want to needlessly make her night worse and told myself we would talk in the morning. I go to bed.
2AM I wake up to go pee. She isn't there. I check my phone and she hasn't texted me at all either. We share locations with each other so I check and it's not loading so I am getting a bit worried for her safety at this point.
I call her and she picks up "Hello?" "Hey J where are you??" "Oh I decided to sleep over at family friend's house" This alone wasn't concerning as the family friends were a married couple with young children. We have known them for years and it was not unusual for her to spend the night there after going out with them.
At this point my concern quickly turns back to anger because not only did she lie to me again about coming home early, she didn't even text me to let me know her plans changed. I told J to get an Uber and come home, we need to talk. She was annoyed and let me know it but I didn't care. She told me she would order an Uber.
Nearly 30 minutes had passed and I had not heard from her. I check her location again to see if she's on her way. Unlike before, it does load this time. Not only was she not on the way back, she was at a house I didn't recognize. I call her back "Hey I thought you said you were ordering an Uber and coming home? Also where are you? Your location is showing you at some house I've never seen".
She sticks to her story. She is at family friend's. She has no idea why her location is showing the other house, because she is definitely at family friend's. I'm uneasy at this point but still haven't jumped to any conclusions. Maybe it was a glitch. Seemed to be pretty far away from where she was claiming to be for a glitch and it also hadn't moved at all in a while... but whatever, anything is possible I suppose.
I am asking her why she keeps lying to me. Lied about not going out in the first place, lied about how long she'd be gone, and lied about calling an Uber 30 minutes ago. She says the Uber is coming in 4 minutes and that she will call me when it picks her up because she doesn't want to argue with me in front of family friends.
I watch her location, expecting it to jump and correct itself once she starts moving. Instead, it moves exactly as if she was picked up in an Uber from that house. Whatever, she is on her way.
I go downstairs and wait for her to arrive. Once she does I ask what she did tonight. "I went to the bar and then to family friends". I ask her what she was doing at family friends. "Just talking. You know I stay there sometimes what's the big deal?". I ask what on earth they were talking until 2:30 in the morning. It just didn't make sense, they're a mid-30s married couple with young kids and full time jobs. Staying awake this late just to talk?
"Well we were talking about you for one" "Me? What about me" "For starters your psychotic behavior tonight."
I was mad sure but my behavior had been far from "psychotic". I never raised my voice and never accused her of anything. I demanded she come home sure but I felt I was justified in that.
From here she continues to say they talked about the discussion from 2 weeks ago. How I "attacked her" and "piled on her for no reason". I was shocked. I thought I had handled that conversation a couple weeks ago very maturely. I was actually proud of myself for taking time to gather my thoughts so that I could calmly lay them out when I got home. At this point however, I was questioning myself.
Did I dog pile her for no reason? Was the way I approached it an "attack"? My only thought was maybe it felt one sided because she refused to engage in any discussion. I asked why she could talk to other people about our relationship but not me.
It would never become clear however as she said she was done talking and was going to bed. I begged her to give me something, anything. I didn't care if her response was in the form of yelling at me. I just needed SOMETHING.
As she's walking up the stairs I ask her to explain why her location was at that house. The story was the same. She didn't know, she was at family friends house. I told her I want to believe her but I know what I saw with my own eyes. It just didn't make sense. I would have believed anything that plausibly put her at that house. "I was at family friends and that's that. If you don't believe me, the we have MUCH bigger problems"
That was that. I did trust her and so I accepted it and went up to join her in bed. There was a little voice in the back of my mind that knew what I saw but she wouldn't lie, she definitely wouldn't cheat.
As I am about to fall asleep, I sit up suddenly and say "J I have an idea" *half asleep* "what?" "Show me your Uber receipts. That will prove you're telling the truth, any small doubts I have will be gone and we can just move on from this. Now she seems to be completely asleep (almost certainly faking it looking back). I grab her phone from under her pillow and unlock it.
On the screen is a text thread to a guy I'll call Jake. There were only 2 messages. First from earlier in the evening "It's J". The kind of message you send when someone puts their number in your phone and you text them so they have your number now. Then one she forgot to send "Hey sorry about that... I made it home ok".
Even at this point, my naïve ass did not jump to cheating. I truly assumed it was probably someone who was also at the dinner and stayed the night at family friends. But then I saw the Uber receipt. It had picked her up from the house her location showed her at.
"J WAKE UP. YOU WERE AT THAT HOUSE. WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT HAPPENED?"
"It's what it looks like"
I asked how could she do this to me? Why would she do this to me? Nothing. Not a single sentence that could be considered a thoughtful response. Despite my demands to know what happened that night, she, as usual, gave me nothing. "It's over. You threw away an 8 year relationship. We were supposed to be together forever. You were supposed to be the mother of my children." Only after those words "It's over" did she show any remorse.
The very little information I did get out of her was:
-This was the first time
-I caught her before anything actually happened
I'm not sure I believe either. It also doesn't really matter to me. Interestingly, about a month prior she told me she had HPV. She assured me that monogamous people can get it. Based on the research I did, it seemed possible, so I didn't think much of it. Now I wonder...
The next few hours were an unproductive loop of various iterations of "How could you" and "I'm sorry I'll do anything to make it up".
Eventually it was 6am and I still had those plans that brought me home early the night before. A 7am tee time. So I left.
It was actually a blessing but I had already had pretty much a full day of plans with some friends. First was golf, then some time at the shooting range with another friend who was going to show me the ropes. These are close friends and I told them everything. They listened to me ramble all day and spent as much time as I needed.
Once I knew J had left for work, I decided it was time to go back home. I had been up since 2am and I was exhausted. I don't fall asleep until midnight. Awake for about 22 hours on the worst day of my life.
The Aftermath:
Honestly... not much happened after. I hurt. It is a deep, constant ache. It was not overwhelming pain like hearing a family member had died. No... just a constant, deep, ache.
I reached out to some more friends who have all been incredibly supportive. I am truly blessed to have the support system I do.
The people I really want to talk to, but haven't had the courage to call yet are my parents. I can't explain why, but I feel almost embarrassed. I also know that once I tell them, the relationship is 100% over with J. They will never see her the same, and she'll know it. I can't live with that tension my whole life.
While I am 99.9% sure this relationship is over, it's hard to say 100%. She was in my life for 8 years. It means a fundamental change to my life presently, and the entire future I had planned.
Work has been hard. I haven't gotten a lot done this week. I've been distracting myself by talking to my co-workers. Today though... I was the only one in the office. Seems everyone else happened to be working from home.
It was not a good day. I have been in my head replaying the events of the weekend and spiraling. Until this point I was weirdly ok. I think it's the first time I've been alone since it happened so all the feelings are coming out.
Going Forward:
I'm not sure what the future holds. I have a few short term plans:
1. STD test
2. Therapy
3. Talk to my parents and likely make a trip home
I also need to talk to J. While I repeatedly said it was over the night it all went down, I think it still needs to be made official. I have not seen J since that night. After work Sunday and Monday night, she has been home. I don't think she's left the house. However, I've been spending as much time away as possible and the little bit I am home, she is in the guest bedroom. I have not had the strength or desire to talk to her.
What I'm most scared of it my living situation and the dogs. While one dog is clearly mine and one is clearly hers, there's a part of me that worries she may do something crazy. I don't know what she's capable of anymore.
We are locked into this lease until February. I have re-read the lease and it seems were pretty much stuck. She has family in town she could stay with but I've got nowhere to go. While it wouldn't ruin me, it would certainly be financially painful if she stopped paying her half of the rent. Best case scenario seems to be we live as roommates and stay out of each other's way for 8 months... A pretty bleak best case scenario.
Once we do separate, there's going to be the challenge of divvying up the stuff. We own a lot of nice furniture together. That furniture probably wouldn't fit well into the apartments we'll likely have to move back into after this. It's all just so unclear at this point.
Conclusion:
If you've made it this far, thank you for listening. Just writing this was very cathartic. I am open to hearing advice on how I should proceed. Nothing in my life has prepared me for something like this.