Ocean state job lot albany ny
2008.04.13 15:10 New Jersey
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2023.03.20 22:20 Ambitious_Dance4828 I realized I am still frustrated with my partner for ignoring my birthday
My birthday was one month after LO was born. We were having some kind of disagreement on that day (I honestly don’t remember about what), I just remember feeling down, since we were mad at each other, and spending the day taking care of our baby pretty much alone. I didn’t get a cake, a card, nothing. I don’t remember getting a “Happy birthday” from him but he might have said it in passing.
For a bit more context. We are currently living in his hometown, my family lives in another country so I have nobody here besides him and his family (which is basically just his mom and a cousin). When LO was born, my mom came to stay with us for a full month. She helped a lot, but our house is a bit small so it became crowded very soon with a new baby, my mom and his mom constantly visiting. Things got worse when my dad showed up as a surprise leaving us even less space in the house. My parents speak a language that my SO doesn’t understand, so he gets very overwhelmed by the costant noise and conversations around him that he can’t be a part of. My parents were sleeping on our couch so we had zero privacy or a space we could go to unwind when we felt stressed. That first month was actually very hard, in retrospect I would have advised my parents to have come at a later time. Because the stress of having a new born, being first time parents and hosting your in-laws for a full month became too much for us and specially for my partner.
To make matters worse, we are in a very difficult financial situation. I am only working part time and he is finishing graduate school. So our budget is extremely tight, we have been living in a constant state of stress over every penny for the past year. Because of that we agreed on not giving each other presents for christmas and birthdays until we are both able to get better jobs.
My parents came here in the spirit of vacation. They wanted to constantly explore the city and the surroundings since it was the first time they were visiting. So I had to become a tour guide on top of being a new parent, healing from the birth and mediating the relationship between my partner and my parents, besides functioning as an interpreter for the house and all the languages everybody was speaking. The whole month was hell, to be honest. My husband thought it wasn’t fair I had to entertain my parents all the time, my parents thought my husband was a grumpy ass because he was always moody and short-tempered about not being able to do anything without being judged by 3 grandparents all the time.
The day my parents finally left we were mentaly exhasted from everything and from all the little arguments and little uncomfortable situations from the past month. 2 days later was my birthday. Husband was still short-tempered about something that I don’t remember anymore, we were fighting, so we did nothing for my birthday. We couldn't go out and celebrate or buy anything because of our budget. I couldn’t do anything for myself because I was breastfeeding on demand on very little sleep. His mom, who is normally very sweet to me, came by to wish me a happy birthday but she quickly left because she had had an argument with my husband the day before and she didn’t want to be there around him. His cousin called to wish me a happy birthday but she was sick so she decided not to come by because of the baby. I have no friends here yet. It was honestly the worst birthday I had ever had. I kept expecting that he would suddenly bring me a cake or something but nothing happened. He didn’t even offer to make dinner. Before the baby was born we talked about my birthday and how we could make sushi so I could celebrate finally being able to eat raw fish again, but we ended up not buying anything special on the actual day. I remember going to bed crying. The next day we solved whatever it was that we were arguing about and he said that he was sorry for the shit birthday I had, but it was too late to have any celebrations, it wasn’t my birthday anymore.
He had his own birthday about a month BEFORE the baby was born and we also didn’t do anything. I normally bake a cake for him but this time I was on my third trimester and really not feeling too well, so his mom brought a cheesecake and we had afternoon tea with her. He never cared much about his own birthday, every year I am the one that makes a big deal out of it and does something for him. I normally design new cool cards or something like that. This time, however, I also didin’t do anything. I was too pregnant and too tired.
The day after my birthday, I made peace with the fact that I had a shit birthday but we have a new baby so things like this happen, our priority is the baby now. Also, I felt like it was a bit unfair of me to expect him to do something for my birthday when I didn’t do anything for his.
Fastforward to today, 3 months after my birthday. I thought I was over what happened but apparently I am not. We ate a piece of cheesecake, which reminded us of the cheesecake his mom made him for his birthday. He made a comment about how his birthday was very uneventful to which I said “well, at least you had one, I had nobody, no celebration not even cake”, he replied “oh, that sucks!”. He asked me why he had a cake and I didn’t have one. I said it was because he had his mom here to make him one, he replied that my mom was here a few days before my birthday, she could have left one in the fridge. I decided to leave the conversation there and have a bit of alone time now writing this post.
Our baby is going through the 4 month sleep regression fase right now, we are absolutely exhausted. I didn’t want to escalate our already bad moods with a memory of the past to bring it up to him one more time that I felt like shit on my birthday. So I decided to come here and vent to you guys. I am crying while writing this post. I don’t know if it is the hormones or being sleep deprived, but I feel very hurt thinking of my birthday. I decided that next year I will make my own cake, and I will never allow something like this to happen again. I will never leave it to other people to surprise me, I will always make sure I have cake on my birthday from now on.
I am sorry about the long post, I had to vent to somebody.
submitted by Ambitious_Dance4828
to NewParents [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 22:13 Wide-Wallaby-4589 Getting Job Without Having ID?
Feeling really stuck at the moment. I've been applying to a lot of jobs this past week and just received a call back today for scheduling an interview for later this week. When I asked what I needed to bring I was told a state ID / DL and my social security card. I do have my social but I'm not sure if what to do about replacing my ID.
So far : I've posted about doing some odd jobs on Nextdoor so I can make enough for it.
Contacted Salvation Army - I need to be in their program / homeless.
Contacted a local church - They don't have funds set aside for that at the moment.
I don't really have anything of value to sell / pawn so I'm wondering if anybody that's been in a similar spot has any advice on other routes I should be trying
submitted by Wide-Wallaby-4589
to povertyfinance [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 22:07 magvadis 3.18 Rivers Review....well, it's a start.
Rivers mean a lot to Star Citizen, as much as people can't really imagine:
They set the groundwork for roads, canyons, lava fixtures like volcanoes and lava planets...and any type of post-render modifications on planets beyond "sea level and the base mesh".
The reality of what I can only call Tier 0 is disappointing (in the face of cherrypicked framing of media on the lead up) and feels a bit premature to have been added at all to 3.18.
I'm not exactly sure what is ACTUALLY being tested here as, from what I understand, the implementation of rivers won't vary from the dev build to the live build, it's no more variable than the planets themselves or cities...it's baked into the map itself and not really necessary to be tested at scale. Seems the devs pressured it to be thrown in to sell the 3.18 package, it feels unnecessary given the state it is in. However, I'm excited to see it progress in further patches.
I could OBVIOUSLY be wrong that it doesn't need live testing, and I'm not dieing on that hill.
However, if they WANT feedback, which is what I assume this is about...here it is.
- Great visual elements. Object scatter looks good in best cases and overall the rocks, river movement, and concepts that ARE THERE, really help to sell the imagery. Moss or trash underwater, the foliage around the river (for the most part), etc. When it's all lined up? It looks AWESOME.
- Love how much length they got out of map tiles not built at all for water dynamics. Sure, they have to cut through some hills, but it gives me hope for the future. You can find some REALLY long rivers that give the illusion of going on quiet awhile, which is all you really need to sell the idea that a planet is more than just a barren waste of trees.
- The cliffs look good. If this is an indicator of cliffs going forward I can't wait to see them all over planets.
- Honestly if they cut out the river (and problems associated with it) and just used this for making canyons, it wouldn't be half bad. Just remove the lakes/water source and reduce the amount of trees. Would add another layer of fidelity to the planet surface and more places for gameplay variety and problems that need to be overcome. (and great race locations)
- The prop scatter is WAY off; Trees IN the river (deep) make it look more like a flood basin than a river...cut them out, the exterior area where props should blend into the surrounding area is TOO harsh. It goes from heavy tree cover around the river...to nothing...very quickly. Extending the prop scatter radius would help as well as differentiate nodes for structures (rocks) vs surface organics (trees) to appear inside the water line would be ideal. Imo, they could just simply pull back where trees spawn along the river...as, in reality flooding tends to take out trees along rivers due to their height. (Suggestion 1 goes into a solution)
- Some props are just too big to be spawning where they do...large cliff rocks will appear and cut off the entire river.
- The tesselation effect is overtuned, and goes too fast. They need to pull it in closer to the core of the river, make it shine lower, and reduce the intensity of it. It should be a MINOR visual element and right now it shows up like a projector on objects. It should be barely noticeable. It could also be slowed down, it feels like strobe going off.
- Canyon artifacts...it's too steep and corners of the ground mesh cut into it. If necessary reduce the amount rivers can bend. Ideally I made a larger suggestion at the end (1).
- Too homogenous and smooth of lines along the river edge...including clifffs. (1 and 2)
- The LODs are DREADFUL and undermine the landscape vistas. This should be top priority, even if they can never get the rivers to look good up close...they shouldn't undermine the visual fidelity of the flight experience. Maybe they can find a way to bake in rivers once they've done a full planetary render (instead of the very small regional one we got)....but as of right now they should just cut rivers if this is what they do to the planets visually.
Specifically, they cut up into pieces looking like tape that didn't pull off a surface correctly and ripped up. They reflect the light of the sun like a mirror in strength. And the way they show up doesn't feel blended. Hopefully concerted effort from the team can alleviate this as this will be the SAME issue when we get roads or highways on planets...however sans the reflecting sun problem.
- Source and Mouth transitions for lakes are just missing entirely. (4)
- More lines of blending outward along the sides of the river to stagger and add more variety to the sides of the rivers....as well as correct for when the river's edges dip BELOW the river almost immediately. Right now there is one outer layer of spline for blending the topography, the one where the cliff props spawn...there should be 2-4 staggered lines of these same things at more extreme waving lines as you move out from the center of the river that connect to the line before it. Having trees and other essential prop scatter points show up between these regions will make it more believable...such as having trees only show up after the SECOND layer out from the river basin....and then having them show up with less density after each subsequent layer (with the reverse being true of rocks).
Having the outer lines be VERY wavy allows for more variety along the sides of the canyon to overlap closely or be further out to make it feel less homogenous.
Canyons just don't look like this IRL. Having more shelves that help further create variation would really sell it better and make the river seem more integrated into the environment as if it has been there a LONG time and had lots of time to erode the landscape. It also better sells the idea a channel existed in that space before that has been widened.
With these secondary and tertiary lines of scatter (and topography blending) for cliffs you could more dramatically increase that variety of how much the line waves further (both side to side and up and down) out as it won't cut into the river and will simply overlap other cliffs...which should blend given it is the same rock.
If they want the SUPER canyon effect they have now, having the chance for a steep cliff set can be baked into the procedural set so that all the layers are very close.
If there is ANY way to vary the heights of the blending points along the immediate sides of the river...that would be incredible, the water line is more or less perfect except for rock props.
2) Mound Props that check to match the ground mesh of the surrounding area that add variation to the river line is the ideal solution to fixing river lines. Little mounds of mud and grass at the top (maybe with a tree node on the top as well) that spawn at the top of the water layer and blend downward that break up the line of the river and along the sides to keep it from being so uniform and smooth. The rocks help but it's obvious what the river actually looks like even if the rock is there. Some of these can create little islands, just they need to be less rare as to cut off the entire river just like LARGE rock props do already.
3) "Crossing points"
Aka, ways for us to get around rivers in ground vehicles. Shallows low enough to let vehicles pass. A place where rivers get very shallow to allow for vehicles to cross (this may already just be common enough that it isn't an issue).
Much like "too many rock props" made planet traversal annoying for people, once rivers get places ALL OVER, you'll see a similar complaint. May as well plan for it.
4) River Sourth/End Prop pieces and Lake/Ocean-River mouth transition sets.
Right now the mouth into a lake (and eventually oceans) and the river source is just outright terrible. Having a way for a river to believably start in full force would require some type of transition piece...such as a "river mouth" rock prop set...with variable spawn points for surrounding foliage and rock props to blend them. Having one at the start and the option of one at the end (when there isn't a large enough basin for a full sized lake) would help a TON to alleviate the dependence on lakes as an end point. Maybe even blending into a cave piece that has a small interior lake and walkable network. Hell, having one show up on the side of a lake element would also allow for more gameplay.
You can also flag for "underground sections" of rivers that are too low to be a canyon and can be flagged as underground caves with a river. Then connect back again at a lower point of altitude for the river to continue on the surface...continue this until it reaches a sea or sea-level and turns into a lake.
Lake and Ocean transitions are essential, as of right now there are no ocean connectors but in both cases you need a tile set of river that transitions the river and lake.
5) Long term the biggest focus should be bisecting river lines. Having rivers connect to multiple points of origin and connect into a larger stream would be the best way to make them seem more convincing.
Shit needs work, the devs probably know this, I'm just throwing in feedback because that's what we are here for.
Im super stoked to see further progress on rivers and to see things that follow from that like dry canyons, lava rivers, roads (caravan missions and bombing runs!), and so on.
I think the eventual "river caves" set will alleviate a LOT of problems, however the biggest immediate issues are LODs, bad transitions (specifically the source and mouth), and the river looking more like a flood than a river due to trees IN the river and super steep HIGH canyons.
submitted by magvadis
to starcitizen [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 22:07 Training_Insect9150 I NEED A HACKER TO CHANGE MY UNIVERSITY GRADES
Contact us at [[email protected]
) for technical problems about your task or issue regarding hacking services.
“Why do you need to hack your school grades?” This will be the question presented to you when you need a school grade change.
Been a student in the university, college or high school is stressful and a whole lot of students understand the pain of a bad grade.
Having poor final grades can be devastating to a graduation and career trajectory. Having the mindset not graduating and repeating a harder test have forced student to seek hackers to change school grades and statistic is on the high.
From Professor’s email, admin logins and school database access, school
grades with different method can work and YES, you heard me right.
School grades can be changed but the question is how. On this platform,
I will be giving tutorials which I have gathered online and reference to this hackers who can change university grades.
STEPS TO CONSIDER WHEN HIRING A HACKER TODAY
The result I opt for professional change is because you get to use highly skilled individuals or group and this groups know their categories.
If you hire a hacker to alter your university grades, this is what you should consider: What is your target:-
Do you intend to change just one grade or more than one grading system?
Changing one grade means you can literally hack your professors, Teacher email which is much easier or when you are hacking a full school system then that’s when you highly need school hackers. Older system or Upgrade target:-
This is what you need to consider when making changes to your grade. First, consider what your school uses and undergo some test to get some results. Phishing:-
There are sites which create phishing links, Gmail, Yahoo, customized phishing and you too can do this if you are not using a professional.
So, have this in mind Remote Access Tool:-
If you don’t know of this then please hire someone who can do this for you. Having remote access to school system is paramount and gaining access to username, password and school facility depends on you.
When making changes, do this during school hours, and not when it can raise flag. mid night will be a wrong idea.
Even with high proxies, it won’t be advised. Trails:-
How harder can this be? Very difficult. With state of the art software, you can easily be trailed to your friend birthday party, home and anyway. Proxies are reliable, clean or trace and use concealer to cover your tracks.
Despite how hard Universities and colleges attempt to safeguard their grading systems..
I hired some hacker on Google page and they are called The Instant Hackers The truth is: the grades are actually more accessible to hackers now than ever!
The age of the traditional pad and pencil grading book is over, and the age of recording grades on the web is here.
Still, the job requires infiltrating a secure server to attain access to grade books and the supporting grades for the semester, and the ability to change those data entries in the database.
Changing grades early 2010 was easy but now schools security system have upgraded a lot and since this security patches have increased, so is exploiting tendencies and backdoor.
Finding a hacker to hire will be a great idea when it comes to grade change.
Don’t forget the method that is require either changing College Transcript or University Grades. its paramount to understand how grades change are done before embarking on grade change.
Don’t let anyone deceive you grades can be altered and then you can request for a new transcript and no one would ever know you hired [[email protected]
) to help you.
Like it or not, your GPA matters.
If your career prospects are suffering due to a low GPA you need to make a conscious decision to commit to getting the number up.
Positive change can be painful but worth it.
) Here’s how you should approach it
Just hire a hacker and save you stress from reading and worrying about your career.
- You can stick to your studies at all times or rather you contact our service.
Hiring a top hacker to do this and how to infiltrate school security is paramount.
The fact of the matter is the person(s) whose grades may be changed could beat the records of the school. if important considerations are taken.
We At [[email protected]
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Contact us at [[email protected]
) for technical problems about your task or issue regarding hacking services.
submitted by Training_Insect9150
to u/Training_Insect9150 [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 22:00 lifewillbeunfair AITA for refusing the take out the bins in shared accommodation?
I (19F) had my first year of university, which also means that it was my first time living with other people.
I had a flatmate (19F, Immi) who was already very independent as she had crap parents, whereas, I had the opposite issue- my parents hadn't really prepared me for independence and were restrictive with it.
Because of her background, she's defensive and stubborn.
I live in a flat of 4 people. At first, I asked if there was a rota and they said no. Fair enough.
I didn't spend much time in the kitchen as most my food was frozen so no cooking/stove - if I made a mess, I'd clean it straight away. If I needed to use the bin and it was full, I'd empty it.
However, Immi had her own sort of rota in her head. At first, she would take out the bins more than any of us as she spends more time in the kitchen and uses them A LOT. So she's just there more to greet a full bin. She would also clean more than us as she would get paranoid and hoover ceilings and ect....(she made the job harder for herself and then would complain to me that nobody else does anything). When she was fed up with cleaning more than the rest of us, she'd text one of us and say "it's your turn to do the bins and clean the kitchen." - and we didn't have turns as we decided together to not have a rota? So this is something she made up. The texts I'd get from her would be very passive aggressive and made me avoid her and the kitchen because if I walk into the kitchen, 90 percent chance, she'll be there cooking.
Most the year went by like that and note- I barely used the bins (1 milk bottle and a couple of recycled items per week). She however filled it up within 2 days of all her cooking cans and whatnot, so it's only fair that she empties it more often. Every time she told me it was my turn via text, I would do it. But, when I would go to clean the kitchen, most of the messes would be hers- dried cheese on counter, burnt sauce all over stove (which I don't use), water all over counter near sink from her washing dishes. I realised that she doesn't clean her messes as she goes along, but leaves it to the person whose turn it is that weekend. It was disgusting. We started having Flies. However, I stayed quiet and just did what she asked.
Last few weeks, it was just me and her staying there. I was away for a whole week, and she knew this but when I came back, she texted me, "it's your turn to clean the kitchen and empty the bins." I walked into the kitchen. It was all HER mess and HER rubbish in the bin, NONE was mine. I did it anyway. Then for the following weeks, I did a little test. I didn't use the kitchen bin AT All and didn't use the kitchen facilities at all. I still got texts stating that it was my turn. I refused for the last week and she got mad, telling me that its everyone's responsibility and even though I haven't used the bin or made mess, I still have to clean when it's my turn. We got into a big argument.
submitted by lifewillbeunfair
to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 21:58 ligboser45 One-time Psychotic Break or Schizophrenia?
Hello everyone, this is probably going to be pretty long and scatter-brained and if you get through it all thank you.
Three months ago I suffered a psychotic episode and it has left me feeling terrified of the prospect that this might be schizophrenia and is doomed to reoccur.
I've always really struggled to make friends and haven't had any close real life friends since puberty. I ended up turning to the Internet for the bulk of my social interaction. This was good for a time and probably better than nothing, but since I graduated college my online friends have grown up and moved on and I have failed to do so myself.
My best (online) friend of about 8 years and I used to talk, play/develop video games together pretty much every day. During this time, I also was really unhappy with my job and got talked into quitting by my friend but he assumed I would look for another job when... I didn't really. Our talking abruptly stopped when he got his first girlfriend. Slowly he became rarer and rarer with brief periods of resurgence every so often when she was unavailable. When we did talk, it usually involved smoking Delta-8 THC/HHC which I think we both started doing about a year into us not talking as much. I don't really blame him for this, but it did leave me feeling more alone than ever.
With him being fairly rare, I decided that the best course of action was for me to get a girlfriend myself. I had always wanted to but am riddled with anxiety and an extreme fear of rejection that has always made the prospect really daunting. I think I was about 24 and I tried alcohol for the first time so I could make some dating app profiles. I wasn't able to find a girlfriend... lol. Blame it on living in a rural area, blame it on being less attractive or maybe the weakness can be seen in my eyes I'm not entirely sure. The point is this only further isolated me because it was able to reinforce those suspicions that I am truly as undesirable as I feel on the inside.
At some point during this extreme loneliness period, I resorted to using Omegle text chat to talk to random people. I met a woman on there that completely turned my world upside down. She showered me with compliments and made me feel a lot better about myself. She built me up then told me she had feelings for me. Then a week later she told me she was already married. I'm not proud of this whole saga and regret it immensely. I don't want to go into too much detail but please trust that she was a very troubled woman and she seems quite malicious in retrospect now that I am not blinded by feelings. I had never seen someone lie so blatantly and frequently before. Worse still, I always somehow ended up feeling like the bad guy. She threatened suicide a lot and told me I was the only person in the world she trusted, it made it difficult to leave in good conscience. In retrospect, I should have called the police and told them what I knew and left it at that but I was too weak. Eventually, in the middle of her having a meltdown about something inconsequential I simply closed the chat, logged out and never opened it again. Telling her my intentions always led to me being manipulated into staying so it was the best I could do.
Months after ghosting her, I found myself in another online relationship with another troubled woman. She was much younger than me and I was quite ashamed of that because I felt the only reason she was attracted to me was immaturity. I also felt unable to connect with her largely due to that maturity gap. She actually visited me and we had some moments here and there but it became obvious that she was addicted to Adderall, and I witnessed her having a manic episode in person when she visited which really worried me. I wasn't sure how to help her, I felt extremely drained from the previous relationship and I didn't feel right for me to continue the relationship so I ended it. She got extremely upset at me and immediately started dating another guy. I was mostly upset at how effortlessly she was able to do that versus how difficult it was for me to do. This whole situation just made me feel like an asshole.
After that relationship, I was even more depressed. I felt like I'd be alone forever. I was mad at the world, the culture and most of all myself. Throughout all this, my performance at work had been steadily deteriorating after I negotiated doing exclusively work from home. I work as a programmer at as small company. Truthfully I feel like my job is kind of pointless because a premade solution would work even better than the hobbled together code that we have. I had been butting heads with the department manager quite a bit over code practices (for the uninitiated we just do things in an inefficient way). After those discussions and me going remote he became really micromanagey and just in general started causing me an enormous amount of stress. I was barely holding it together mentally but for some reason was able to prepare examples and stuff to show to our department and present it in front of everyone (which is very difficult for me with my anxiety). They got shot down however.
During that girl's last visit, an argument between my Mom and sister on one side and my Dad broke out about getting a new house. My sister and Mom at the time were unemployed and my Dad had the only income. The house they wanted, they really couldn't afford unless they also started working. I noticed during this fight that my Mom was being manipulative because she claimed that she never wanted something that I know that she wanted before (in terms of her and my Dad's retirement plan), she used this to claim that my Dad was being selfish. My Dad didn't want to sell the house that they were currently living in because it was locked in at a pretty good rate and they'd invested a lot into it.
I've kind of wanted to move away for some time, I've never been really close to my family. However, my lease was up and I proposed the idea to rent the existing house from them even though it's kind of out of my personal budget. I found this frustrating because it did kind of work against my own interests but I guess I had the urge to make everyone happy, you know? When I moved into the house, it was covered in clutter (mostly unwanted children's toys) that had not been cleared up. I wasn't against cleaning it up myself but I wasn't sure what sort of stuff they wanted to keep and what they wanted to get rid of. They told me to leave. So the house was mostly full of clutter, it looked almost like a hoarder house and it did bother me.
Eventually in about mid-December (also my 26th Birthday), I started clicking around YouTube and stumbled upon these narcissism videos. I was immediately struck with how well it fitted that first girl I mentioned, I suppose I "diagnosed" her. I then started thinking about my family, the fighting growing up, the way I am with my attachment issues. I started remembering some key moments from my childhood that kind of highlighted to me that my upbringing wasn't as normal as I had thought it was. I started asking my sisters things and they started telling me all sorts of twisted versions of stories. I learned that supposedly one of my sisters might not even be my Dad's and Mom has covered it up for 29 years.
I also have an estranged half sister that we haven't talked to for years and has been in and out of our lives. I contacted her and talked to her. I think by the time I contacted her I was a manic episode (this is based on my own interpretation), I didn't feel depressed anymore, I was just blinded by outrage of my own mother. This sister is a therapist and told me about dysfunctional family dynamics and how she thought our family was dysfunctional. This sister turned out to be a fairly unhinged conspiracy theorist however...
Things get kind of blurry at this point. I wasn't sleeping or eating much, I know I at least went 2 consecutive days without sleep, but I don't have a way to be sure. I just started seeing narcissism everywhere. It was like I went back and retroactively blamed every bad thing that had ever happened to me on narcissism. At some point I got it into my head that my Mom was going to steal money from me (she has asked for money in the past that I've never gotten back, or at least I didn't get it back when she said I would). My dad had me sign a rental agreement contract, just a generic one off Google. It had a deposit on it, I had become convinced that my Mom was planning to ask me for the deposit behind my Dad's back.
It's hard to piece this part together, but at some point I just snapped. One day I paced around the clutter-filled house convinced that someone was spying on me using different listening devices. I remember there were these bullshit Chinese "air purifiers" that plugged into the wall. I kept switching back and forth between those being Chinese listening devices and them being utilized by my family. I had the delusion that my family was secretly aware of my depression and because I was also a narcissist they had to covertly help me get better because it is impossible for a narcissist to be self-aware (this is something I heard on YouTube I don't know how accurate that is). I think I was really shaken by the prospect that I might be a one myself and a tsunami of guilt overtook me when I had that thought.
I ended up forgetting that I was already in contact with my oldest sister and found a scam website (truthfinders, if curious) that claimed to be able to find addresses. I became convinced through a variety of coincidences that this website had an unexplainable connection to my life and that maybe the world was a simulation or I was being recruited into some government program. This delusion caused me to deliberately start screwing with my family. I hid my Dad's wallet because I thought my Mom might make a new bank account behind his back (she wanted it). I caused a big scene and was taken to a local mental health place at the request of my oldest full sister. They were unable to detect that I was in psychosis and allowed me to leave. On the way out I started screaming at my oldest sister and accusing her of prescribing our mom prescription drugs (this is something she does but I'm unsure if she abuses it).
From here the delusions get crazier and crazier. Despite these outbursts, nobody in the family did anything but have my Dad watch over me. I felt a lot of shame having him there with me and he also snores very loudly which makes me worry for his health and also makes it harder to sleep. My 29 year old sister came to my house on the night January 1st and screamed in my face about something I don't remember what. I felt really scared and ran out the house over to the neighbors and the cops got called and stuff. My sister falsely told the police that I pulled a knife on her and my Dad. In reality my Dad had just handed me a butter knife from the drawer and I ran out the door. I'm not sure why I wanted it. I was allowed to go back in the house by the cops but couldn't sleep and started frantically trying to do something nonsensical. Eventually when my Dad was asleep I snuck out into the streets at 12am-1am and started knocking on doors. When nobody answered I started singing the national anthem really loudly which is actually kind of funny lmao.
The cops took me back to the mental health place that had cleared me previously. The cop waited with me for some time while I talked complete nonsense to him. He eventually took the cuffs off and left me alone with a "mental health professional" who promptly left me alone. After some time, I wandered off again into the streets in a bad part of town. I was thinking all sorts of crazy shit that I won't even bother going into. I was trying to get into cars and succeeded. The owner of the car stepped outside and locked me in and I panicked. I was then arrested and brought to jail. The jail treated me like shit, they immediately put me in full body restraints despite full cooperation and then wheeled me into a brightly lit gym. Within 15 minutes I was able to work the restraints loose and thought that I was in an escape room and needed to get the ball in the hoop with only my legs. They saw this on camera and came in and restrained me once more. I panicked and thought they were going to kill me so I started flailing my free legs. They tased me and finished restraining me. I was then left alone in there for 13 hours without water. This was literally the most terrifying experience of my life and I just wanted to mention it even though it isn't particularly relevant lol. I eventually got transferred to a state psychiatric ward where I was also treated very poorly but did manage to find reality once more.
When I got out of the pyschward I stopped taking the medication because I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't schizophrenic. In hindsight, this was reckless. I also immediately caught my Mom in more lies. She denied going through my phone when I can tell that she did because iMessage syncs with my Mac and I could see the stream of files and shit she sent to herself on it. She also denied that my older sister wasn't my Dad's and later admitted it. I immediately got worked up again and nobody seemed to really care about why I was worked up and dismissed it as nonsense (maybe it was?). They just kept asking me if I was sleeping not how I was feeling. I'm a chronic insomniac, all that pressure being put on me sleeping wasn't helping me sleep. I did manage to stabilize without medication and now I'm just back to being depressed.
After all that shit, the feeling I cannot shake is this lingering fear that I might have schizophrenia. I keep spacing out during the day and I have no motivation to do anything. Sometimes I just feel strange like I'm watching the world through a screen, it kind of reminds me of what it feels like to be high but I haven't had any THC for awhile. Sometimes I'll get hyped up and come up with all these ideas about how I need to start eating well, exercising, etc. But the second I set foot in this house all motivation disappears. I don't know if it was depression or what, but the only thing that I enjoyed towards the end (and even now) was smoking THC with that one friend when he occasionally comes around. It's the only thing that makes anything fun, otherwise it just feels completely pointless. I still want an intimate partner but I'm too afraid of getting hurt and I know that I'm not exactly a catch in my current state, you know?
The psychiatrist at the state-hospital didn't really say much and was constantly busy. The one I have now has given me the green light on not taking medication and said I don't have schizophrenia as well (although I have recently changed my mind and decided I need an antidepressant, I'll see him tomorrow about that). Despite this, I just don't know what they're basing this on. How do they truly decide whether or not this was an isolated incident or if this is a sign of things to come? When you look it up online you see that most schizophrenics recover after their first episode but have another within 5-7 years. I don't get how they decide if that'll happen or not. Can anyone offer any insight?
TLDR; I had psychosis (no voices or crazy visual hallucinations, just extreme delusions) and am wondering if it's schizophrenia or not.
submitted by ligboser45
to Psychosis [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 21:50 throwaway974920 I was mean to my friend this weekend.
This weekend I traveled with a friend to an event. We were going from the same state so initially we had planned to travel together, but they insisted on taking an extremely long route to save money and I made the choice to fly. From the beginning of trying to coordinate this, I was exhausted by them.
For some context - this person comes from a household that’s low income (I also do, though now I am middle class). They still live with family, and in an area that’s rural. They don’t have a license, no job, and are going through college slowly. I’ve never held this against them - I had to grind just as hard and we connected on having to rely on family at times & struggling to afford college. But holy fuck, they make their struggles their entire personality. Every time I suggest we do something (even as affordable as watching a movie at my home, which would only require a train ticket to get to), they make it all about how they can’t afford anything, even something that’s $10. For the event we went to, they did nothing but complain for months that they had nothing to wear. I offered to pay for a nice outfit for them, and they declined, but still continued to complain every time we saw each other. At one point I insisted on buying them a nice jacket for a holiday ($20 thrifted) and they accepted but still continued to complain how they can’t find affordable clothing. I sympathize with them - I have gone through this myself - but it’s their entire personality!!
Fast forward to the event - we spent the weekend with friends, and I went out of my way to consider the pricing of each event we did. Rather than eat out we grocery shopped, and I didn’t make them pay for their portion. We did the cheapest possible things to still have a good time. Still, they took every opportunity to talk down to me and others for not “realizing how expense things are and how much of a waste of money” things were. They speak down to people a lot, believing that their situation has made them smarter than those around them. I am SO tired of this. Eventually, I just began ignoring when they interrupted everyone and simply continuing what I was saying after they were done talking. They got upset and considered it to be bullying when me and other friends joked around because they weren’t joking/didn’t want to. At one point I was relaxing by myself and they got clearly upset that I was in the space as they wanted to use it (I had no idea that they did, and when I apologized and told the me they should have let me know they wanted to be there, they said they would have but “honestly it doesn’t matter” - clearly it does since you got upset & passive aggressive!). I found myself at multiple points thinking about how annoying they are, and I got short with them fast. I am more of a type b person while they are type a and they so obviously think I’m stupid for not planning to the level they do.
I found my self acting snide and mean eventually, and while I don’t think it was mature, I just want to rant about how difficult they are! They entire personality is being the poor but superior intellectual, and I am so done with it, especially as someone who was seen as white trash for most of my life & was looked down on constantly. I think I’ll end the friendship.
submitted by throwaway974920
to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 21:48 merfolk__ He's got a girlfriend...
Hi. I need to vent because I am kind of very heartbroken at the moment. I  met this guy  through Social Media during the lockdowns of 2020, ever since then we've talked virtually every day for 3 years now. We lived in different countries, so our communication was purely digital, but still, I would say he was closer to me that a lot of people I had in my vicinity.
For years we would sent each others photos of our daily lives, talk about everything, have sex, and even if he wasn't out*/didn't identify as gay/bi, he would trust me about about really important things regarding his job and his private life that normally one wouldn't reveal to a stranger on the other side of the planet.
Every now and then I would find a way to send a physical gift his way (even though it was kind of difficult to do on my side), and I would always try to have a special something for him digitally.
Over time I can fully say I got to love the man. I was in love at one point, but I knew it wasn't reasonable, so the feelings transformed in the true kind of love you have for the people in your life. I knew that he loved me as well, in his own way. Even while apart, we went through more together that I can say I have with my friends back home, which is saying a lot.
He would often tell that I was the only man he would sleep with. Though I, as naive as I am, never believed that. We are all men, and we know we can say whatever just to get to the orgasm. I knew he would never leave his status-quo to be with me, and even if he somewhat did, I didn't deserve to be with someone who could only love partially. So even if we were friends, there was always this looming tension.
Fast forward until now. I got to move to a city just a couple of hours away from his. He was so excited to finally see me, and we met last weekend. We spent all day and all night together. It all went exactly like it did online, which was very reassuring.
At one point he decided to drop the bomb about having a girlfriend for years now, and I had to swallow hard and smile to not ruin the whole evening, and I went along with it until the very last moment I left him at the train station.
Afterwards I couldn't take it anymore and I cried the whole 2 hours back home. I think, for someone who had shared every single personal thing about his family, his children, his job, his dreams, never once mentioning you have had a girlfriend, not even out of empathy, is very, very shitty. Specially knowing what kind of feelings the other person has got for you for years know.
As soon as I got home I couldn't keep it to myself, and I had to let him know how hurt I was about it. He told me he didn't want to hurt me because I was a very important person in his life. Still, I am very much upset about having to process such complex emotions (pretty much unnecessarily at this point) and told him I didn't want to know from him in a long while.
I do love the man as person, as a very close friend, but still knowing something like that at this point makes me feel... bad, and used, and even makes me question every single thing he has ever told me up until this point. Ever since I met him part of my motivation in life had been finally get to know him, and know that I am here oceans away from home, after this I would rather distant myself to try to navigate my life without him in the picture.
I feel very complex and I wish he had told me at some point in the past... I don't know if I didn't the right thing by telling him to leave me alone, but I all want is not to feel like this.
submitted by merfolk__
to gayyoungold [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 21:44 Actual-Ad4595 how can i spy on my partners phone
You may have encountered a situation in your or someone else's life and you want to determine your loyalty to others. This is why people increasingly need to know how to monitor their partners without their knowledge
. ----------- [[email protected]
How can I spy on my partners phone without them knowing ? Table of Contents
- How to spy on someone’s iphone
- How to spy on someone’s phone without touching it
- How to spy on someone’s android phone
- How can i monitor someone’s phone?
- How can i hack my partner’s phone without them knowing
- How can I spy on my partners phone?
- Can you spy on someone’s phone?
- Do cell phone spy apps really work?
- What is the best app for spying on another’s phone?
- Can you remotely spy on a cell phone?
- How can i spy on my fiancee’s phone?
- How can i intercept my partner’s messages?
- How to track a cell phone without installing software on the device
- What app is the best to catch a cheating spouse?
- What app can you spy on your boyfriend with?
The Best way to spy on your partner’s phone is to check their phone but if you do not have physical access to the phone and do not want them to know, we suggest you read How to spy on my partner’s phone without him or her knowing it may be that you have observed certain disturbing trends recently in your husband? Or your child is being tight-lipped about his movement. It is your place to be on top of the situation as it will not be pleasant if you are called to witness a distressing event. I know you must have tried reaching out to them to find out what is really going on but hit a brick wall. I know you must be feeling very frustrated as your efforts are not showing any results. But does it make this a hopeless venture? Does it mean you may continue in the dark on such an important issue as your emotional well-being? You may have had to spend countless nights thinking how you got to such a place in your relationship. I am here to give you good news that there is something that could still be done. The one way you can truly unravel what is going and making the appropriate decision would be to spy on them. Now you must be thinking should I follow them everywhere they go? [[email protected]
I couldn’t possibly recommend that. You will give up in the first day out. Your surveillance will not take you out of your house or even take much of your time. All you need to focus on is their smart phone. Once you find a way of unlocking and monitoring their cell phone, you will be able to put everything in its proper perspective.
I spoke about finding a way to track them in the previous paragraph. Let’s get down to that now.
How to spy on someone’s iPhone
Now spying on iPhones is both easy and not so easy. The primary difficulty lies in finding a working spy tool that will do a good job. A lot of fraudulent spy apps litter the internet claiming to do one thing or the other. I know they are a waste of time because I have tried them and know what I had to put up with.
I will let you know from this moment that spy apps we discuss here offer paid services. Meaning you have to pay before you can enjoy premium surveillance services. So onward we go. iPhones are great smart phones and we all know that. The privacy it affords is second to none and many hackers have had a hard time getting access to it. But with all its security, there is still a way you can bypass this hurdle and it requires you to know the Apple ID and password of the target. With this in your hand, you will be able to track their calls, messages, emails, go through their social media activities, know the websites they frequently visit, remotely access their phone camera in order to record and take picture of the surroundings, be able to know in real-time their location. [[email protected]
All these and more can be done when you choose the right spy tool to work with. That is why we have taken the time to compile a list of spy apps you can work with to get the results you are looking for. There is also the added bonus of not needing to jailbreak the target device in order of the spy app to work as the surveillance will be done via the web only. So you just need to login to your account with them and then you will be able to monitor the target phone after verifying the credentials.
How to spy on someone’s phone without touching it
Spying on someone may require you being in the places they are. But there is the fear that they may see you. That is why spying was moved from tailing to hacking. With hacking, you get to spy and monitor them through the activities they generate from their smart phone use. This seemed like a great solution to an age-long problem.
Couples and parents have had to deal with the heartache of not knowing where their partner is or who their kids are friends with. In a bid to make things easier, spy apps were introduced to enable us be aware of the movements of our loved ones. Although spy apps are cast in a bad light, they do a world of good. Through its use, parent have been able to discover whether their kids are lying to them as to where they are and who they are with, romantic partners are able to better validate the fidelity of their partners.
But the first problem spy apps faced was being discovered or noticed by the target and the need to have to root or jail-break the target device before it could work. Now, rooting or jail-breaking will require you to have physical access to the device and we know that this may not be possible.
A couple of years forward, we are now able to spy on a target’s phone without touching it. This feature is not available for every operating system but is exclusive to the iOS platform. So if your husband, wife, kid or employee uses an iPhone all you need to track them is just their iCloud credentials
How to spy on someone’s android phone
The only way you can spy on an Android smart phone is when you physically handle the target device. Disregard any blog post you may come across saying something contrary. You need to handle the target device so you can download and install the spy app on it. Once you complete the installation, you do not even need to handle it again. The spy app will automatically run in stealth mode to avoid detection and will be sending you information on the activities of the target device.
You can even remotely uninstall the spy app if you no longer need it.
How can i monitor someone’s phone?
You can monitor another person’s phone with only cell phone monitoring solutions
How can i hack my partner’s phone without them knowing
Do you want to hack your partner’s phone without them discovering you? Whatever the reason may be I hope you have spoken to them to let them know how you feel concerning the path your relationship is currently on.
Maybe you feel like they are no longer interested in you. You feel neglected and believe there is someone else who they share fond memories with besides yourself. If you are both legally joined, you have a right to know why your partner is acting out and putting your marriage in jeopardy.
How can I spy on my partners phone?
You may have confronted them with your suspicions and they would likely have shown you why your ideas are erroneous and childish. But you still get the nagging feeling that there is something afoot. Trying to go through their phones would be quite difficult given the security measures they may have installed to block outside interference. You may not even get the opportunity for once to handle the phone or even be near it when a message comes in.
What do you do then? How do you get the hard evidence you so dearly yearn for? Your way out of this dilemma will be when you turn to spy apps for help. Cell phone monitoring solutions (technical name for spy apps) will enable you get access to their phone even if you do not have access to it. You will be able to remotely monitor them and catch them red-handed when they are in the act. The bonus of using it is you will even be able to get picture and video evidence to support your case in court, if need be, as you can also remotely activate the target’s camera and video. [[email protected]
If you are in a dilemma and need to hack your husband’s phone and do not want him to know and do not also have access to his phone then you definitely spy apps. If he uses an iPhone, you do not need to install any tracking software before monitoring him. All that is required of you is his Apple ID and password for verification. Also make sure his iCloud backup option is enabled and auto synchronization is on. Once you sort this out, you will be able to spy on him without him ever suspecting anything.
For Android devices, the only way out is installing a tracking software. This means you need physical access to his phone before anything can be done. If you have a few seconds, just quickly go to the official website of any of our listed top spy apps and install for Android. After this is sorted, the spy app will automatically run in stealth mode thereby evading detection by your target. You can then login to your online account you have with the spy service and spy on them. You do not have to root the phone before it works and it does not consume battery life or disturb the performance of the target device.
Can you spy on someone’s phone?
Yes. You can definitely monitor another person’s smart phone. But before doing that, make sure you are aware of the binding laws in your state pertaining to using surveillance technology. You can consult your local attorney to hear his opinion on the issue
Can you remotely spy on a cell phone?
Yes you can remotely gather data on a target cell phone without having access or being anywhere near the target device.
How can i spy on my fiancée's phone?
You can use spy app on your soon-to-be partner to know who they truly are.
How can i intercept my partner’s messages?
Do you want to intercept and read your partner’s messages? Do you suspect they may be having extra-marital affairs and trying to cover it up? Whatever the need may be, you can gain access to all their mobile activities; calls, messages, online chats, social media accounts, passwords, location history, browsing sessions all from the convenience of your couch. [[email protected]
submitted by Actual-Ad4595
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2023.03.20 21:40 CelticBlade227 Chapter of a book I am writing
Ever since his stunt teaching the CPR class, Matt had, for obvious reasons, been fired. Apparently, the people in charge didn’t like the fact that he peeled off the face of the baby CPR dummy and proceeded to fuck it. Furthermore, they had frowned upon the fact that his wife, Jill, had thrown the doll out the window, breaking it. Matt has since been studying the different anatomy of different animals and was currently studying bear noses.
“When the fuck are you going to get off your ass and get a job?” His wife, Jill said one day when she got off from work.
“Hey, I have been busy doing a lot of shit,” Matt responded, as he took a pickle cheesecake out of the oven. Why would someone violate something as delicious as cheesecake with something as horrendous and mouth-rapey as pickles? Who knows, but he did, and he should be castrated for doing it.
“Looking up facts about bear noses and flounders doesn’t count as doing something alright?”
“Hey now, it is very interesting. For example, did you know that there is no mention of bear noses in the Bible?” Matt asked.
“Wh-why the FUCK would that be in the Bible?”
“Who knows, but now we know that there isn’t.”
As they continued their riveting conversation about the theology of bear noses, Matt finally agreed to go look for a new job. He then proceeded to get the baby CPR doll, who he had named Kevin-Harrison, put “him” in a chest holder, and started to head out.
“You cannot be serious,” Jill said as Matt started to head out the door.
“What?” Matt asked.
“You are taking the doll with you? WHY??”
“First off, this is our CHILD, second off, I would be a horrible father to leave the baby here.”
“First off, it is NOT a child, it is a DOLL, second off, I am here.”
“HOW DARE YOU!! THIS IS OUR BABY!” Matt yelled then proceeded to leave.
Throughout the day, Matt had gone from job interview to job interview. Unfortunately for him, most of them proved fruitless. Perhaps it was because he brought the CPR dummy to each and every one, or maybe it was because, in every interview, he managed to talk about bear noses, kangaroos, squirrels, and flounders. People would wonder why he didn’t just apply for zoos, aquariums, park ranger, or another kind of field, but Matt was weird. However, due to having a creepy amount of knowledge of kangaroos, Matt ended up becoming a tour guide. While driving a car full of tourists, Matt suddenly stopped the car.
“Why did we stop?” One tourist asked.
“There are kangaroos over there,” Matt said, as he pointed to the animals.
“Oh wow! That is amazing,” another said.
Matt proceeded to stop the vehicle, and the tourists thought that he did it so they could take photos, but he had other plans. Matt then got out of the car, took the “baby” by the leg, and threw it as hard as he could, like some weird and fucked up baby boomerang, and proceeded to hit the biggest male kangaroo, or “boomer”, and no, not a baby boomer, you weird mother fuckers, and hit him in the head. Matt then proceeded to run towards the kangaroos, punched the shit out of the male that just got back up, and then went to the nearest female kangaroo, or “flyer”, and jumped into her pouch, like he was her baby, or “joey”.
All the tourists could do was stand there, watching, baffled at what the fuck just happened and what they were looking at. All the while, the kangaroos were basically doing the same thing, as they stared at Matt in the flyer’s pouch. The flyer tried to walk and move, but to no avail, due to Matt’s weight and a kangaroo not being able to carry and adult human male. The boomer that Matt had hit with the doll proceeded to take it, toss it into the air and kick it as hard as he could, which, since a kangaroo can kick with a force of seven-hundred fifty-nine pounds, it went flying like when someone is dating someone, then finds out that they are fucking nuts, and not in the fun way, and run out of their for their lives. Believe me, I know.
Once this happened, however, Matt got pissed, because the kangaroo had just assaulted his “baby”, and proceeded to get out of the flyer’s pouch, which she was very happy about. Matt then proceeded to go up to the boomer and punch him square in the face. The kangaroo then proceeded to punch Matt, and he went down hard, and broke several ribs in the process, since they have a punch force of two-hundred seventy-five pounds.
Matt ended up getting up, and then proceeded to tackle the kangaroo, knocking him to the ground. He then proceeded to punch him in the face several times. After the fight was over, and he and the kangaroo went on their separate ways, and Matt proceeded to limp his way to retrieve his “baby”. Once he got it, he then went back to the tour bus.
Red kangaroos are the largest of the roo species, and males can get up to ninety-one kilos.” Matt said to the tourists, as if nothing had happened.
“Ar-are we just going to completely ignore the fight you just had with the kangaroo? One tourist.
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Matt replied.
“Really? Kilos? Dude, we don’t know the metric system. What is it in a real measurement?” One dumbass tourist said, yet that is how most tourists from the United States act, making us all look like fucktards.
“Ugh, fine. They weigh as much as four-hundred twenty-one Big Macs from McDonalds. Happy?”
“Oh, so around two-hundred pounds. Why didn’t ya just say that?” The same dipshit tourist asked.
“What is that animal over there?” Another tourist asked, as she pointed at a koala.
“Really? It’s a fucking koala. For fucks sake, they are one of the most iconic animals on this fucking continent,” Matt said.
“Well, I didn’t know that,” the woman replied.
“Ya don’t know what a koala is, but you can do metric system to Big Mac weight convergence ratios?”
“Fuck you. And fuck the koala.”
“Why fuck the koala?” Another tourist asked.
“Well first off, they have Chlamydia, so it probably isn’t something ya want to fuck, despite them being really soft.”
“Wh-why would someone want to fuck a koala?” The woman asked.
“Why do people in Florida fuck gators and their relatives? At least koalas are snuggly and soft.” Matt replied.
“Furthermore, despite having ‘bear’ in their name, they aren’t bears. They are marsupials. Meaning that they don’t have bear noses, but weird ass marsupial noses, but then again, I guess that is okay since roos are also marsupials and they too have noses.” Matt explained.
“The fuck is wrong with you?”
“So over here we have some squirrels,” Matt said, as he ignored the question. “Squirrels are not native to Australia. We have two species, the American Gray Squirrel and the Northern Palm Squirrel. They are an invasive species that have fucked up a lot of shit here, just like most invasive species do.”
As they continued to drive, the tourists asked questions about the different species that they had seen, but Matt wasn’t much use in his explanations. He said that they weren’t kangaroos or squirrels, and that none of them had bear noses, or bear-like noses. In fact, the tourists learned more about bear noses and squirrels, which again, aren’t even native to Australia, than they did about literally all species native there, except for kangaroos. After the tour was over, Matt went home and told Jill all about his day, and he seemed really excited for the job. The next day, however, his boss called him into the office, and fired him on the spot, since, amongst other things, he got into a fight with a kangaroo, especially with tourist watching. After he got fired, Jill finally said fuck it, and dumped him.
submitted by CelticBlade227
to comedy [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 21:34 ammodotcom Top 5 Best 30-06 Ammo for Deer Hunting: Put Bambi in Your Freezer
The 30-06 Springfield is an American cartridge through and through. It’s a two-time World War champion, can take down any big game animal North America can throw at it, and you’ve selected it for deer hunting.
All we can say is, “Good call!”
The 30-06 has been putting venison on plates and in freezers for well over a century, and as such there’s a lot of different hunting rounds available. But with so much variety, it can be hard to pick the best one for your deer hunting needs.
If you’re in a hurry, then we’d recommend that you pick up a box of Barnes 150 Grain TTSX. It’s the best 30-06 ammo for deer hunting. However, if you have some time and want to see our entire top 5 list, just keep reading.
If you’re new to deer hunting or looking for more information about the 30-06 Springfield, check out our Buyer’s Guide HERE
. Otherwise, scroll just a bit down to review more of our list…
The Best 30-06 Ammo for Deer Hunting
- Barnes VOR-TX 150 Grain TTSX
- Remington CoreLokt 150 Grain Scirocco Bonded
- Hornady American Whitetail 150 Grain SP
- Winchester Power Point 165 Grain PSP
- Federal Fusion 180 gr FSP
Best Overall 30-06 Ammo for Deer Hunting
- Casing - Brass
- Bullet Type – Tipped Tripple-Shock X (TTSX)
- Bullet Weight - 150 Grains
- Muzzle Velocity – 2,970 fps
- Muzzle Energy – 2,937 ft-lbs.
- Designed for rapid and controlled expansion
- Near 100% weight retention
- All-copper bullet legal in California
- Pricier than other options
Why We Chose It
The best deer hunting rounds for the 30-06 are affordable, in stock, and have additional features that control expansion and adequately maximize penetration. The 150-grain Barnes TTSX meets all our standards, and it’s something we can recommend to everyone.
Barnes takes extraordinary measures to produce insanely high-quality ammo, and the TTSX line is no exception. The polymer tip makes the TTSX more aerodynamic, raising the ballistic coefficient and helping the bullet penetrate before expanding.
The bullet’s terminal performance is nothing short of superb. The 150-grain bullet penetrates deep and expands to nearly double its original diameter (assuming impact occurs between 1,800 and 3,000 fps). The brilliant design and all-copper composite make an extremely effective wound cavity. All you need to worry about is shot placement!
In addition to being a slam dunk for deer season, we love this round for its versatility. Not only can the Barnes 150 gr TTSX easily take down a deer at 500 yards with proper shot placement, but it can also be used for larger game animals like black bears, elk, and moose.
If you want an efficient round that’s pretty easy to find, pick up a box of the Barnes 150 gr TTSX
. The high ballistic coefficient, superior Barnes quality, and flat trajectory make it well worth a few dollars per round.
Nosler Trophy Grade 150 Grain Nosler Partition - Another excellent round you should grab for deer hunting is Nosler Partition ammo for the 30-06. The Nosler Partition bullet has two components separated by a partition, the front for penetration/expansion and the back for weight retention. Of course, if you need a round for hunting large animals, consider the Nosler 150 grain Accubond. However, we found Nosler Partition ammo easier to find in stock.
Best 30-06 Ammo for Deer Hunting - Runner Up
- Casing - Brass
- Bullet Type - Swift Scirocco Bonded
- Bullet Weight - 150 Grains
- Muzzle Velocity – 2,910 fps
- Muzzle Energy – 2,821 ft-lbs
- High availability
- Extremely accurate in our hands
- Perfect for deer and elk hunting
Why We Chose It
Remington 150 Grain Scirocco Bonded ammo is an excellent round for hunters during deer season. It’s a hard-hitting bullet with a flatter trajectory than some other rounds and leaves an impressive wound channel.
Like the Barnes TTSX, Swift Scirocco Bonded bullets have nearly 100% weight retention to maximize penetration. The polymer tip is responsible for initiating expansion, but the electro-chemical bonding process is what keeps the lead core and copper jacket together to ensure deadly terminal performance.
You’ll get adequate expansion at velocities as low as 1,650 fps (around 500 yards). This gives you a little more distance than some of our other recommendations. It’s also slightly cheaper than the Barnes TTSX but still pricier than some other options on our top 5 list.
Not only does the Remington 150 gr Swift Scirocco Bonded
bullet do amazing work on deer, but we also love it because you can ethically hunt elk, black bears, and moose too.
Best Budget 30-06 Ammo for Deer Hunting
- Casing - Brass
- Bullet Type – Jacketed Soft Point (JSP)
- Bullet Weight - 150 Grains
- Muzzle Velocity – 2,910 fps
- Muzzle Energy – 2,820 ft-lbs
- Low price tag makes it easy to buy in bulk
- Backed by Hornady’s high-quality reputation
- JSP (Jacketed Soft Point) for great terminal performance and expansion
- Shorter effective range on deer
Why We Chose It
Hornady American Whitetail is a phenomenal choice if you’re looking for excellent factory ammo on a budget and you don’t have time to work on handloads. Easy on the wallet and effective on the hunt, this 150-grain cartridge offers phenomenal terminal performance and exceptional accuracy.
Hornady Whitetail is an extremely popular choice for avid hunters because it’s a high-quality round that deals a lot of damage to the deer and not your pocketbook. With Hornady’s patented InterLock® design, the lead core and jacket stay together on impact giving you high levels of penetration and expansion.
Hornady Whitetail utilizes a soft point bullet with a muzzle velocity of 2,910 fps that can accurately bag a deer within 400 yards (just over 1,800 fps) and still achieve the expansion necessary to bring down a trophy buck.
Although Hornady American Whitetail is soft on the wallet, the jacketed soft point bullet design is less effective at long range shots when compared to other offerings on our top 5 list. However, if you hunt in wooded areas like New England, the Midwest, and forests of the Pacific Northwest, then Hornady American Whitetail 150 gr SP ammo will offer more than enough range for deer season this fall.
Honorable Mention Prvi Partisan 150 Grain SP
: This is another excellent budget round that simply gets the job done. If you’re looking for an affordable deer hunting cartridge, Prvi Partisan is an excellent backup choice. It’s readily available and the soft pointed lead core will easily penetrate medium-sized game animals.
Best 30-06 Ammo for Deer - Fan Favorite
- Casing - Brass
- Bullet Type - Pointed Soft Point
- Bullet Weight - 165 Grains
- Muzzle Velocity – 2,800 fps
- Muzzle Energy – 2,872 ft-lbs
- Affordable and easy to find
- Excellent expansion
- Not great for large game like elk
Why We Chose It
We love a good, tried and true 30-06 cartridge, and Winchester Power Point 165 grain fits that bill perfectly. This low-cost cartridge has a flat trajectory and packs more than enough wallop to take down any deer in your sights.
Winchester designed its Power Point bullets
for accuracy and penetration. The soft lead core is encased in a copper jacket, so you’ll have the controlled expansion necessary to create a sufficient wound cavity and ethically take home your deer.
The Winchester Power Point was deadly accurate in our hands and expands perfectly between 3,000 and 1,800 feet per second. Assuming you keep your shots within 300 yards, you’ll bag a deer for less than $2/round without having to trek through the woods following blood trails.
However, while many hunters have taken down large creatures with the 165-grain Winchester Power Point
, it’s a bit risky to use it for hunting bigger game (larger than 300 pounds). Shot placement and distance will play a significant role in your success.
If you want to ethically hunt deer, this round will work. But if you want to hunt larger game, try one of the other rounds on our list.
Honorable Mention Federal Power-Shok 150 Grain
- Another excellent round that works well on the medium-sized game, like whitetail deer and mule deer. It’s a traditional lead core soft-point bullet with no bells and whistles. If you’re looking for a low-cost conventional 30-06 ammo for deer hunting that simply gets the job done, then look no further than Federal Power-Shok.
Best 30-06 Ammo for Deer Hunting
- Casing - Brass
- Bullet Type – Fusion Soft Point
- Bullet Weight - 180 Grain
- Muzzle Velocity – 2700 fps
- Muzzle Energy – 2,913 ft-lbs
- Developed specifically for deer hunting
- Incredibly accurate
- Inexpensive and abundant
- Not great for hunting larger game animals
Why We Chose It
If you’re looking for the first round developed specifically for deer hunters, then look no further than the Federal Fusion 180 gr FSP.
Utilizing a skived nose, the Federal Premium Fusion Soft Point is built for immediate and deadly expansion the moment it encounters soft tissue. This is perfect for thin-skinned game like whitetail and mule deer, where you want maximum penetration, weight retention, and a wide wound channel.
The copper jacket used on FSP rounds is electrochemically bound to the soft lead core. This makes for a perfectly uniform jacket that is incredibly accurate for a soft point round.
The massive 180 grain bullet really does a number on medium sized game, transferring the maximum amount of kinetic energy possible into that trophy whitetail that wandered in front of your tree stand.
Although the Federal Fusion is perfect for deer, it’s not the best choice for larger game like elk. However, if you want the original purpose-built deer round, then Federal Fusion 180 gr
is a perfect choice to take out into the woods this fall.
Oh Deer! That’s a Wrap
Congratulations! You made it all the way to the end. No matter which of these factory loads you choose, you’ll be well armed to put Bambi in your freezer this deer season.
But since you made it this far, do you want to keep learning more about the 30-06 Springfield? We’ve shared a vast majority of our wisdom in the sections above but keep scrolling to take a gander at our 30-06 buyer’s guide.
Or if you’re ready to order a box from our list, click HERE
to go back to the top.
Buyer’s Guide: What to Look for in 30-06 Hunting Ammo
The 30-06 Springfield is considered by many as the quintessential hunting round. It has served the US military through two World Wars and has been taking down deer, elk, and moose across North America for over 100 years.
It is the round that all other hunting cartridges are compared to. Often you’ll hear hunters make the comparison of, “Well is it any better than a 30-06?” Which tells you that the old warhorse has quite a long track record of putting game down humanely and efficiently.
As such, the 30-06 has seen a lot of work done on it to make it one of the best all-around hunting rounds on the market. With multiple bullet designs and grain weights, picking the best hunting load for your needs can be difficult for newer shooters or hunters.
But don’t worry! We are here to help you cut through all the hype and buzzwords to explain what you should be looking for in an excellent deer hunting round.
As experts in the field, we analyze a lot of hunting loads, from weight to bullet types and more. So, take some time and read through the following sections to learn more about choosing hunting ammo.
Deer Hunting & Weight Grains
Although the weight of the bullet affects numerous factors, including wind resistance, terminal performance, ballistics
, and expansion, shot placement and knowing your rifle always prevail over the “best bullet weight.”
But, for those curious, how do you know what weight is best for hunting deer? Well, the answer to that question is highly subjective, and for good reason! You’ll have to consider distance, how your rifle handles the round, and what you’re shooting (deer, in this case).
The lighter the bullet, the more muzzle velocity, and therefore, the faster it will travel. This creates for a flatter shooting bullet that is more forgiving or ranging mistakes.
On the other hand, heavier bullets tend to travel slower but are more resistant to wind drift and pack more kinetic energy.
If you’re trying to shoot an elk at over 500 yards, you’re going to want something that hits a bit harder to make sure you have enough kinetic energy to ensure a clean kill. But if you’ve got a whitetail in your crosshairs at 400 yards or less, you don’t necessarily need a massive bullet to get the job done.
For whitetail deer, hogs, or pronghorn, the 150 gr and 165 gr bullets offer a happy compromise between stopping power, lower recoil, and a flatter trajectory.
However, do keep in mind that your next deer won’t ask you, “What grain weight is that TTSX bullet you just shot me with?” Because if you’re using premium expanding hunting ammo and can put the bullet inside the vitals, the deer won’t be asking you anything at all!
Types of Hunting Bullets
You’ve surely seen a lot of acronyms online and on ammo boxes. But what do they all mean?
Hunting is a lot different than competitive or long-range target shooting. The goal isn’t just to hit your target, but to put down your quarry quickly and humanely. The hunting ammunition you choose needs to keep working after the initial impact.
So, it’s important to put a little more thought into your hunting rifle cartridges. To put it simply, match-grade ammo won’t cut it.
For example, you don’t want to use FMJ (full metal jacket) ammo for hunting. It’s typically a lead core bullet that won’t expand.
To further complicate things, match-grade ammo is typically loaded with Boat-Tail Hollow Point (BTHP) bullets. Although hollow point bullets are typically used for self-defense handgun ammo, these rifle bullets are designed for extreme accuracy and NOT terminal expansion.
To help you sort things out, we made a list of some of the most common hunting bullet types deer hunters utilize and why they are effective.
SP (Soft Point)
You’ll see a few variations of SP rounds. From Soft Point to Pointed Soft Point and the beloved Jacketed Soft Points, all are perfectly suitable for hunting deer. But let’s break down the differences.
Of course, you’ll find soft point bullets are just that; they have a softer lead core than other bullet types. Unlike FMJs (full metal jackets) which have a dense lead core, soft points
consist of a softer core with an exposed nose cavity allowing the bullet to expand easily. However, if a bullet expands too quickly, it will not penetrate, which leads us to jacketed soft points.
Like JHPs (jacketed hollow points), a JSP (jacketed soft point) is a jacketed round. Except, a small part of the lead core is still exposed. This design allows for both penetration and controlled expansion while also maintaining a high ballistic coefficient.
You will also see PSP, which stands for Pointed Soft Point. These bullets have the same overall design as soft points, except the pointed tips make them more aerodynamic and more accurate for longer range shots.
Polymer Tipped Bullets
These days, polymer tipped bullets are all the range for hunting ammo. The polymer tip not only provides a more aerodynamic bullet, but it also aids in expansion.
Bullets like the Barnes TTSX, Hornady SST, and Nosler Ballistic Tip utilize the tip to initiate bullet expansion. This creates a more uniform wound channel and puts down game more quickly and humanely.
Bonded Tip Bullets
A bonded tip bullet is one where the jacket is chemically fused to the lead core rather than pressed. The reason for this is better penetration. As per the Scirocco recommendation above, a bonded tip will hold together much better and control expansion. There are a variety of bonded tip bullets, they typically have a higher price tag, but they’re well worth the extra coin if you’re hunting or buying self-defense ammo.
Get to Know the 30-06
Before we leave you with nothing but a vast technical knowledge of the 30-06 (which we know you appreciate), let’s talk 30-06 fun facts.
To start, the 30-06 is a 30-caliber round. So, where does the -06 (aught six) come in? Well, the round was first produced in 1906. That’s right. The 30-06 simply means it was the 30 caliber round of 1906.
Before retiring into an American hunting cartridge, this round was used with the M1 Garand during WWII and in Korea. As a matter of fact, it was the military’s favorite rifle bullet for nearly fifty years. It was a favorite of Teddy Roosevelt, who took a keen interest in hunting (he left North America in 1909 and hit up Africa for a big game hunt).
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the effective deer hunting range for the 30-06?
Most 30-06 ammo will be incredibly accurate within 400 yards. However, you also want to consider the muzzle velocity for an effective shot. If the round exceeds 3,000 fps, it may not expand. If it drops below 1,800 fps (excluding the Scirocco Bonded rounds), it also won’t expand.
Of course, do keep in mind that the effective range can vary based on your rifle barrel length. A longer barrel will result in a higher muzzle velocity thanks to a more complete powder burn than a shorter barreled rifle.
Therefore, if you’re using the Browning Gold Medallion lever-action rifle one day and a Ruger American bolt-action the next, you may get extremely different results.
Is the 30-06 a good cartridge for deer hunting?
Absolutely! The 30-06 Springfield has been bagging deer for well over a century and shows no signs of slowing down.
However, we can’t say that a deer will be able to tell the difference between a 30-06 Springfield, 270 Winchester, or the 6.5 Creedmoor, provided you select an appropriate bullet that expands and penetrates well. Smaller rounds like the 223 Rem can be used but many states prohibit them for deer hunting.
As stated previously, there are some 30-06 rounds that may leave you following a blood trail in the woods for hours. But as long as you choose one of the options we listed (or something similar), you’ll have an excellent hunting round.
What is a premium hunting bullet?
Premium hunting bullets are those that are manufactured specifically for controlled expansion and penetration. The term first reflected Nosler’s partitioned ammo because, before that, bullets didn’t exactly focus on terminal ballistics.
Today, several ammo manufacturers push the limits of imagination and engineer all sorts of ways to make bullets better for hunting. Premium bullets often have higher ballistic coefficients and are incredibly accurate. You’ll still find them with a common boat tail and spitzer design, but it’s what’s inside that counts!
Others love that they can purchase a few rounds and start reloading. No matter your preference, a premium bullet typically performs better.
Do manufacturers still make bolt-action rifles chambered in the 30-06 Springfield?
Yes! The caliber may be old, but you’ll find Ruger, Mossberg, Remington, Savage, and many others still make bolt-action rifles chambered in 30-06.
Is there a nickel-plated brass 30-06 hunting round?
Yes. Notably, the Sierra Gameking uses a nickel-plated brass case.
Back to the Best 30-06 Ammo
Now that you have a clearer understanding of how to choose the best ammo for deer hunting with a 30-06, you can head back to our top 5 list by clicking HERE
! Top 5 Best 30-06 Ammo for Deer Hunting: Put Bambi in Your Freezer originally appeared on Ammo.com
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2023.03.20 21:24 intensive_egg_unit Not sure if I (25F) should tell my boyfriend (24M) that his could be taking advantage of him/is a selfish asshat
Honestly, I need perspective. I'll start by saying my (25f) partner (24M) and I have been together a year now. We've dated once in the past about 2 years ago but timing wasn't right to broke it off and stayed civil and then reconnected. In the mean time he saw other people, as did I. I've seen plenty of different types of moms Loving ones, cold ones, crazy ones.
He loves his mom, his father died when he was 13, so he's very invested and protective of her. He says his mom loves me and she likes me the best out of every girls he's ever dated. I'll admit, that shocked me because when we first dated I wasn't the greatest girlfriend, which is why I broke it off. I was super nervous to start dating again and wanted to prove myself because I really got my shit together. Yet getting to know his mom more just makes me feel...weird. She isn't super lovey dovey, which is fine. She's not mean, but I certainly don't feel super comfortable or a connection with her. I get a lot of anxiety around her and have trouble talking to her which is unusual of me. That doesn't make her a bad person, I know that.
However, first red flag with his mom was when he told me like two years ago his mom got him a pack of mints for Christmas? Weird but I brushed it off. Maybe she's just a bad gift giver. Bur then he said no one has celebrated his birthday in 2 years and just laughed it off like it was normal. That made me upset. For Christmas this year, I thought we were all in aggreance of gifts. I don't expect gifts but yaknow, you do things mutually so nothing is awkward. I even asked her what to get her boyfriend to kinda make it obvious and thought we were on the same page. I dropped the gifts off a week early, and come Christmas I come down with Corona so I was out of commission for a week. Come the next week, I come by the house to see that all of my gifts are handed out and not a single person except my boyfriend got me a gift. Okay ouchies. That didn't feel great since i felt like i put a lot a thought into everyones gifts but maybe im being entitled.. I got everyone, including the moms boyfriends dog a freaking Christmas gift lol. She couldve got a gift and had an entire week after christmas while I was sick to get me something as an oh shit moment. But she just didn't. His sister at least said thank you for the gifts for the nieces and nephew and bought us dinner a few weeks later. (His sister doesn't have a lot of money, plus it's the thought not the value.) Maybe his moms clueless. But its not like they don't have money, she definitely does because they splurge it on crazy shit like buying front row tickets to watch the groundhog see its shadow, going gross country to watch football games, etc. Christ, she could've given me a bag of cookies or like a card or something, I'd be stoked. I mean, even my boyfriends friends got me gifts. Not only that but I left a 1.75 L bottle of Vodka at his house that I was saving till the end of my semester to celebrate with that his mom polished off without asking me. I barely had any of it. She just giggled about it. (This happened the other night) Like I wouldn't have minded if she had a bit of it but the whole bottle? She didn't even offer to replace it. It was a bit unnerving. She made him go with him on a trip out of state across country to help her with cleaning out an estate of her dead relative but made him pay for half of the air B&B they stayed in which I feel like is weirdly unfair because he took time off work to help her. She just feels weirdly selfish and I don't think he sees that and I haven't said anything because I feel like I'd be over stepping. This is just a few things that stick out but there's been more. She has a good paying job and my boyfriend has a manual labor job that he works has ass off in and they go out a lot and spend time a lot together and he picks up the tab 80-90% of the time and she barely ever offers to. I feel like she just expects it and takes advantage of him because he's such a big mush. She just gets free drinks and a meal out of him. Maybe it's a different dynamic because my parents never forget my birthday, never let me pay for things because I'm a struggling college kid working my ass off while they make 6 figures each, always get me something for Christmas. Am I crazy? Am I entitled? Is it a different dynamic??Should I say something? Should I be offended about christmas?? I iust need outside perspective . Sorry this is a cluster fuck I'm writing this from work because it's bothering me so much.
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2023.03.20 21:01 Personal_Card_5066 Where to send LOI?
I'm currently accepted at Stony Brook, and on the WL at Harvard, WashU and Hofstra. Context: I'm a CA resident, and don't know what I want to specialize in. I want to leave the door open for more competitive residencies/fellowships (Cardiology, GI, ENT, Radiology, etc). Ideally, I want to match back into CA, but I'd be open to living in any major city. NYC was originally on the list of places I want to match into, which I know Stony Brook does a great job of, but I'm worried because NYC has a bad rep for residency. I saw that Stony Brook matches into CA, but there's fewer cases (this could also be bc they're a state school in NY?)
Currently, I'd say my personal ranking of where I want to go are Harvard > WashU > Hofstra ~ Stony Brook. From my understanding, WashU and Hofstra are most receptive to LOIs (I don't know much about Harvard's waitlist movement). I already sent an letter of interest to WashU, so I'm not sure how to write an LOI (with barely any updates) that is different from what I already sent. Should I send my LOI to Harvard and just send another interest letter to WashU/Hofstra?
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2023.03.20 21:01 Ok-Pianist-9729 Nparents are upset because I got a job
I’m about to turn 19 and ever since 16 I’ve had to have my parents drive me to and from work because they refuse to teach me how to drive. They constantly used this and gas money against me and my jobs barely paid enough to really live off of. I got a new job that’s a travel job where I get picked up and dropped off by the job and we stay in hotels and then go to work then go straight back to the hotel. It makes a lot of money that I need for school.
My parents are flipping out over my safety which is understandable but I cannot be helicoptered for the rest of my life and I’m a legal adult now. When will I be able to be myself?
I’m going to be picked up and I’m going to the hotel with my older sister who also works there and my nmom always goes crazy constantly asking where I’m going to be when I’m going to be and when I left for work last week and got in the van she cussed me out over text saying I’m going to get kidnapped and stuff. She gets angry quick and intimidates me with the way she asks all these questions. I’m going to be gone for a few days still in the same state and now she’s asking what hotel I’m going to stay in which I don’t know until I get there and that I better tell her before I leave.
I don’t know how to start establishing boundaries without her going to go crazy
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2023.03.20 20:59 SavingsSyllabub7788 NOP fanfic: Death of a monster - Part 9
First fanart Whoo!!! [Sad Estala eating Mangos]
on the discord (Reddit profile SlimyRage
Memory transcription subject: Estala, Ex-Krakotl to Venlil Extermination training leader. Date [standardised human time]: January 3rd, 2137
“So what is Earth like?”
Joseph and I lay on our backs, staring up at the clear blue sky above and enjoying such a beautiful day. As I lay nestled in his arm I felt safe, I felt like all the issues in the world didn’t matter right now. Back at home there would be self loathing, hatred, nightmares. But here, right now, they are gone.
“In what way?”
Joseph took a few moments to push a particularly pushy blue flowerbird out of the way as he responded, the avian had been chirping angrily at the audacity of the human who was not currently dispensing food. Based on what Joseph had told me, flowerbirds had actually started to become a problem around the refuge camp. The birds had quickly learned that if you annoyed the “predators” enough, they generally dispensed tasty seeds.
“In any way? It is hot, cold. Marshy, dry? What’s life on Earth like?” I asked.
The nightmares had been getting worse. The self hatred of being a potential predator was nothing compared with the loathing caused by knowing the effect of the choices I had made. Sometimes it was the families of victims I had failed screaming at me, asking why I didn’t save their loved ones. Others I was in Kalsim’s fleet, destroying Earth while Joseph begged for me to stop. All of them left me shaking as I awoke each paw.
“The answer to that is Yes. Based on what I’ve seen, Earth has one of the most varied environments as the Federation tends to homogenise everything. Snow covered vistas, sprawling forests, vast desserts, massive oceans. It’s actually what I was studying, a degree in Ecology [???].”
My translator failed to give meaning to the last word, giving up halfway through an explanation of colonising a new planet to live on. I decided not to ask, as from my experience such questions caused more painful revelations: I had enough of those to deal with as it is.
“This also means the wildlife varies wildly. Each biome has its own specialised species and adaptations to fit into the environment in exciting ways. Species will literally travel thousands miles in order to follow warm weather around the world. Entire forms of life only found and adapted to one single island or section of the world.”
I didn’t get why Joseph seemed to care about my wellbeing. I most definitely didn’t deserve it. I had met him under false pretences, and even now the camera was still recording. I just couldn’t… stop it. Three times I’d attempted to remove the device, being physically unable to do so each time. It was the last desperate connection I had to a world where I wasn’t a monster. A small part of me that wanted so badly to be right, to make everything I did be ok.
Not that it ever would be.
“Human culture and lifestyle are similar. There are over two hundred countries, all of them have their own cultures and way of life. Vast cities that spread up to the sky, small hamlets in the middle of nature. The answer to ‘What is Earth like’ is basically ‘Yes’.”
I had at least found the strength to disable the dead man’s switch. I remembered rushing back as fast I could after falling asleep in the humans calming embrace, only barely triggering the reset in time. I didn’t have to worry about accidentally releasing a video to the world. Now I only had to worry about Joseph finding out about my original intentions.
“What about where you lived, what was that like?” I asked, purposefully pushing my thoughts away, to just enjoy the calm for now. Joseph had suggested meeting here twice as often, every three paws instead of the seven we previously had an unspoken agreement for, an idea I very greatly appreciated. The human had also suggested meeting outside of this clearing, something I wasn’t ready for.
“Well I come from a country called England. It’s an Island, lots of rolling hilly countryside, fields, forests, farmland. Very green. Rather mild as weather on Earth goes, although it does rain a lot. I was studying in London, which is… was. Was a city of old and new, of modern skyscrapers reaching to the sky next to small buildings of wood made half a millennia ago. Family lives far further north than that though, in the countryside. I’ve got pictures if you want to see.”
Joseph took a moment to fish out his holopad, navigating through the menus before showing me pictures of his life before Venlil prime. Of buildings shining with bright lights, of picturesque countryside that looked like they could come from the Gojid cradle. I felt a bitter sadness that a lot of the places I was being shown didn’t exist anymore because of the federation. Because of people like you.
Eventually the pictures stopped on an image of a large rolling countryside providing the backdrop to four humans. One of them was clearly a younger Joseph. Not that long ago seeing such an image would have initiated a fear response, of worry from seeing so many forward facing eyes. But now… now I just felt numb to the entire thing.
“Is that your family?” I asked, guessing the answer already.
“Yea. That’s Me, Mom, Dad and my older sister Vanessa. Vanessa would love you, always been into birds, parrots especially. There’s a parrot sanctuary nearby that we’d visit every open day, so meeting someone like you would blow her mind.”
I focused on the last figure, who seemed to be covered in strange braces and holding into what looks like some form of crutch. Clearly an injury of some kind from living on the more dangerous Earth.
“Was this Vanessa injured by a wild predator before this picture? A bear perhaps?”
This caused Joseph to giggle slightly before responding.
“No. England is rather safe, it’s not like bear attacks are a regular risk. No Vanny has a long term condition. Myotonic dystrophy. Basically her muscles aren’t strong enough so need some extra help.” Joseph’s tone seemed to darken as he spoke, sadness replacing the excitement of before “It’s why they stayed on Earth. Stronger gravity here, probably not a good mix. I only came because mom convinced me not to give up the opportunity on their behalf.”
I could see the emotions etched into his face: worry, guilt, fear. These sparked my own similar feelings, knowing that in my own small way I had contributed to why the human who was careful with me was in such a state. I didn’t want to ask the next question, but I knew I had to anyway.
“Have you had any news?”
“I should get some soon. With London and Glasgow getting hit, federation forces running around and just the general clusterfuck that is earth, checking on a shelter that’s out in the countryside hasn’t been a high priority. The things are designed to hold people for years, so anyone who got to a shelter has just been bunkering down while everyone else gets control of the chaos.”
Joseph gave a sigh, before perking back up again in almost a forced motion.
“Anyway, enough about that. What’s Nishtal like?”
Bad memories. Pain. Loneliness. Filled with genocidal assholes who would hurt this human for nothing more than just existing. Still I gathered it wasn’t the answer that Joseph was looking for.
“Warmer than here, a lot warmer. Lower gravity as well which makes flying wonderful, soaring for miles on updrafts. Mostly marsh land apart from near the equator, which is this network of hilly rocky canyons”
Nishtal had become a hot topic on the human FederationColdCases site, after Joseph had uploaded the details of my fathers now presumed murder. It being the only exterminator case from Nishtal had caused a lot of interest in solving the case, although most humans had hit a dead end simply due to the lack of access to information on Nishtal: Communications with Venlil prime had been cut months ago.
“While a few groups live in the marshes and hillsides, most of us live in the giant sky cities that line the sky. Massive chunks of rock suspended through antigravity, atop which giant cities of glass and vines lie.”
I did miss it, at least a little bit. I liked Venlil prime, I liked the Venlil, but there was something about the way the sun hit the horizon just right each morning that created a sight just like no other.
“Sounds awesome!” Joseph's enthusiasm dripped from every word. “I know right now it’s not a possibility, but I’d love to visit, I’d love to just see everything the universe has to offer.”
Did Nishtal even still exist? In between the self-destruction of the federation and the Arxur attacks, was there even a Nishtal to go back to? I decided to ignore that question and just think of a potentially happier future.
“Only if I get to visit earth at some point!”
Joseph gave me a scratch on the neck, still grinning from ear to ear in a weirdly adorable way. It was strange considering a predator slightly adorable, but it was hard not to get sucked into his general enthusiasm for life.
“It’s a deal! Once all this stupidity has died down, you show me Nishtal and I’ll show you Earth!”
Against all odds I didn’t have to lie about my next statement, I said it with all the truth and honesty I could muster.
“I’d like that a lot.” [First] [Prev]
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to HFY [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 20:46 highna I barely know how to exist anymore and not even the guilt of knowing my kids are getting screwed over has helped me to figure it out.
I have two kids, a driving age who has no interest in it and a tween. They’re both what I’d call indoor kids. When they were little I could get them out into the woods or take a walk and go camping, but these days even mentioning it they’re already annoyed. They’re like their dad - little future engineers. They all get along so well and I’ve always felt like the outcast. Three boys/men and mom who likes nature and activity and not into video games though I’ve tried. I’ve learned to do a lot by myself. Dog walks, hikes, grocery shopping etc. Now that I think about it I’ve spent a lot of time alone.
Anyway, 4 years ago we moved from the state the kids had mostly grown up in to northern California due to a layoff and new opportunity. I was fucking STOKED. I lived in California when husband and I met and have since moved to three other states in the pursuit of his career, with hopes of making it back here someday. All choices made excitedly! Although looking back, maybe stupidly. What this has ultimately done is left us without any village whatsoever. Completely on our own. I was very optimistic about the move to california because it’s my jam. The weather, the 2 hours to beach/mountains etc was a driving force. No more 7 months a year holed up in snow. We got here and had a few months to settle but then the pandemic happened.
Dot dot fucking dot.
I do not know how to live anymore. What the fuck do I do all day? I take care of like 200 plants and 5 chickens (wtf!) and a parrot and a shit ton of random neighborhood cats because I lost my goddamn mind and identity apparently. I’m not working at the moment because my youngest was recently diagnosed with autism (high functioning, which is why it took til 5th grade to get an answer) and I get called randomly throughout the week to come soothe, or even take him home. (We just got approved for help and will have an advocate at the IEP meetings so hopefully this will give them a plan other than calling me and letting me go get a job or hell, anxiety free and uninterrupted therapy for myself?)
I don’t know. I have zero energy. I take my stupid antidepressant every day like a good girl and even my adhd meds are laughing at me lately. I’m just so fucking bored and lonely and have zero creativity and don’t know how to get my family on the same page of “let’s live a little before this shit literally burns down around us.”
I’ve never said any of it out loud. Thought it would feel better.
Thanks for listening. See ya - wouldn’t wanna be ya!*
*unless of course you have a hobby, or like, a nicer outlook of the future, or like, a really good friend….then I concede that I lied. Trade?
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2023.03.20 20:41 CaptainScuttlebottom [OC] Which Round of 32 game thread had the most complaining about the refs? And other analysis of all 54,886 comments from the second round
What is this?
Like I did for the first round, I scraped all the comments from every Round of 32 game thread using the PRAW Python wrapper for Reddit's API
, and then analyzed them with R.
This time, I ended up with a total of 54,886 comments from 16 threads. I came up with a few interesting ways to look at the data, but let me know if you have any other ideas!
Here's the results from the Round of 64: https://old.reddit.com/CollegeBasketball/comments/11utq8b/oc_which_round_of_64_game_thread_had_the_most/
1. Which game thread had the most ref complaints? I searched each comment for flags like "refs", "rigged", "bullshit call", "refball", etc. that usually indicate a ref complaint. This isn't perfect, because it will include false positives like the rare "the refs are doing a great job!" and exclude contextual / non-flagged things like "that's bullshit", but it gets pretty close. If you have ideas for flags I should search for, please let me know!
This time the KU vs. Arkansas thread topped the list; I can completely understand why, since that was a classic "ten seconds of actual basketball punctuated by two minutes of free throws and ads" game. It was also a very physical, defense-oriented game, so there was a lot of potential calls / noncalls to complain about for both teams' fans.
2. Game thread timelines I split each game thread up into ten minute chunks, and counted the number of comments made during each interval from each faction. This results in fun little timeline graphs that show you where the action / excitement spiked, what % of each thread was made up of neutrals, etc. I think they're neat, so I included the top ten most commented-on threads here. Let me know if you want to see any others!
I really enjoy the graphs for the upsets here; it's pretty funny how you can see the KU / Bama / Houston flairs entering and exiting the thread as the games' outcomes became clear (for example, us KU flairs clearly all left to go re-watch 2022 highlights toward the end). And props to Kentucky fans for seemingly sticking it out until the bitter end!
3. Word clouds I can also generate word clouds from the data! Here are some fun ones:
I can take requests on these as well if anyone has any!
4. Leaderboards And finally, it's time to see who is winning the real March Madness -- posting on reddit.
Top Commenting Teams
|Rank ||Primary Flair ||Total Comments ||Unique Users ||Comments per User ||Avg. Score |
|#1 ||Michigan State Spartans ||3,572 ||350 ||10.21 ||3.70 |
|#2 ||Kentucky Wildcats ||3,050 ||261 ||11.69 ||2.99 |
|#3 ||Indiana Hoosiers ||2,363 ||243 ||9.72 ||3.56 |
|#4 ||Kansas Jayhawks ||2,250 ||220 ||10.23 ||3.37 |
|#5 ||Maryland Terrapins ||2,094 ||160 ||13.09 ||3.84 |
|#6 ||Tennessee Volunteers ||1,555 ||162 ||9.60 ||3.00 |
|#7 ||North Carolina Tar Heels ||1,446 ||150 ||9.64 ||3.36 |
|#8 ||Alabama Crimson Tide ||1,384 ||154 ||8.99 ||2.47 |
|#9 ||Duke Blue Devils ||1,346 ||149 ||9.03 ||3.16 |
|#10 ||Arkansas Razorbacks ||1,319 ||136 ||9.70 ||3.23 |
Just like Indiana flairs had a field day with the Round of 64, it looks like MSU fans ran wild over /CollegeBasketball these past two days, taking the #1 spot by over 500 comments. The three blue blood losers make up 2nd through 4th place this round, and our friendly preseason #1 team, UNC, makes a surprise appearance at #7.
Top Ref Complainer Teams (min. 250 comments total in data)
|Rank ||Primary Flair ||Total Comments ||N Ref Complaints ||% Ref Complaints |
|#1 ||Arkansas Razorbacks ||1,319 ||118 ||8.95% |
|#2 ||Kansas Jayhawks ||2,250 ||195 ||8.67% |
|#3 ||Michigan State Spartans ||3,572 ||286 ||8.01% |
|#4 ||Marquette Golden Eagles ||544 ||42 ||7.72% |
|#5 ||Virginia Cavaliers ||289 ||22 ||7.61% |
|#6 ||Iowa State Cyclones ||255 ||19 ||7.45% |
|#7 ||Duke Blue Devils ||1,346 ||99 ||7.36% |
|#8 ||Houston Cougars ||1,235 ||90 ||7.29% |
|#9 ||Baylor Bears ||676 ||49 ||7.25% |
|#10 ||Michigan Wolverines ||823 ||59 ||7.17% |
The Jayhawks and the Razorbacks were in a virtual tie here, which, again, makes plenty of sense. I think this actually vindicates my view that the officiating was god-awful and annoying to watch for both teams. The fact that MSU and Marquette fans are on this list is also no surprise, given how that game went. I do wonder why UVA and Michigan are on here, but I guess that comes down to the 250 comment threshold more than anything else.
Top individual commenters
|Rank ||Commentor ||Flair ||Total Comments ||Avg. Score ||Min. Score ||Max. Score ||Threads Visited |
|#1 ||Ghost-of-Moravia ||Maryland Terrapins ||260 ||4.08 ||-7 ||19 ||12 |
|#2 ||michaellomeli ||Ohio State Buckeyes ||235 ||3.89 ||-2 ||20 ||9 |
|#3 ||Sirrenderthe69th ||Tennessee Volunteers ||198 ||2.82 ||-3 ||30 ||12 |
|#4 ||That_One_Pancake ||Penn State Nittany Lions ||191 ||4.51 ||-10 ||27 ||11 |
|#5 ||Kodyaufan2 ||Auburn Tigers ||179 ||3.01 ||1 ||26 ||9 |
|#6 ||JayMoney2424 ||Michigan State Spartans ||178 ||3.29 ||-3 ||25 ||10 |
|#7 ||indreams159 ||Fairleigh Dickinson Knights ||177 ||4.01 ||-3 ||26 ||14 |
|#8 ||Kardinale ||Louisville Cardinals ||165 ||3.49 ||0 ||19 ||13 |
|#9 ||bcocfbhp ||Villanova Wildcats ||159 ||2.36 ||0 ||10 ||13 |
|#10 ||iDestr0ya ||Buffalo Bulls ||152 ||2.70 ||-2 ||13 ||13 |
This is a completely different top 10 from the round of 64, which I wasn't expecting! None of the 10 people from last time made it, with fancycheesus, elgenie, and ddottay landing just outside at #11, #12, and #15 respectively. I was expecting to see the same group of "power users" throughout the tournament, so now I'm very curious to see who will end up on top once I combine all the rounds into one dataset.
Random fun facts:
- Most toxic thread: This one is kind of tricky this time. The thread with the greatest number of downvoted comments was Duke vs. Tennessee (617 downvoted / 7,248 total = 8.51%), but the one with the greatest percentage was Maryland vs. Alabama (446 / 3,795 = 11.8%). Both were plenty toxic in their own way, so I'll let you decide which was worse.
- Most 'fuck's per Comment: This time the Baylor Bears took first place, with 9.32% of all Baylor fans' comments containing some form of the word "fuck". Classic Baptists, am I right? Second place was Ohio State for some reason -- they took first place in the first round, so I guess OSU fans are just particularly potty-mouthed?
- /CollegeBasketball's most used words: The #1 most common word in this round's dataset was "lol" -- here's the rest of the top 10:
Thanks for reading! Please let me know if you have any other requests / suggestions!
|Word ||Instances |
|lol ||2,515 |
|team ||2,183 |
|refs ||2,132 |
|foul ||2,053 |
|call ||1,448 |
|play ||1,360 |
|time ||1,355 |
|half ||1,304 |
|fucking ||1,219 |
|fuck ||1,205 |
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2023.03.20 20:40 rowdyriley7 Race Report: Shamrock Marathon
Race Information TLDR
Training with an infant is hard. Running in the wind is hard. Always stay at a hotel near the start line. Goals
|Goal ||Description ||Completed? |
|A ||Sub 2:45 ||No |
|B ||PR (2:48:49) ||Also no |
|C ||Run lots of miles and don't get hurt ||Yes |
Last spring I ran 3 marathons in 6 months (Chicago, Mesa, Boston) off fairly high (for me) mileage, peaking at 85 mpw for each based off a stitched together back-to-back-to-back Pfitz plan. Then one month later I became a dad, and one month after that moved across the country for a new job! I had tweaked my foot during Boston so ended up cutting back on mileage significantly for those first few months of parenthood but was able to build up to 60-70 mpw by the fall. I started Pfitz 18/85 in November when kiddo was 6 months old and despite having done similar plans a few times before, man was it tough to keep up the miles and workouts. I'm used to late nights and early mornings but had to be much more flexible in moving workouts around based on childcare, resorting to the treadmill in the early morning/evening/naptime, skipping a few of the doubles when I just couldn't drag myself out the door for a second run, and adjusting my pace when running with a stroller about once a week. Sleep and recovery were also tough, obviously. I managed to do all of the workout and long runs though (including 22 miles at 4am before work one Sunday 😴), and only skipped about 5 runs total (mostly the 4 mile recovery doubles). My goal was sub-2:45 to qualify for Berlin, and my workout were right around that pace: hitting 6:18 for the MP work, low 6:00s for LT work, and 5:3x for most of the VO2 stuff. I unfortunately only ran one tune up, which was a 10k disaster two weeks out, but decided to go full send for 2:45 and just see what my legs had in them. Pre-Race
This was the first time staying at a race-suggested hotel literally overlooking the start line and, wow, I am never skimping on race lodging again. It was AMAZING doing all my pre-race routine in the comfort of my hotel room and then strolling out at 7:15, jogging a block to the start line and hopping in my corral at 7:25 for a 7:30 start. It was a perfect high 30s and partly cloudy, but there was a solid breeze that I was already worried about. I lined up towards the front of Corral 1 and tried to scope out who around me was doing the full vs. half marathon, but there wasn't much time for chatting before things kicked off. Race
Miles 1-6: 6:21, 6:22, 6:20, 6:18, 6:23, 6:17
The race starts off heading north, right into the ~15 mph wind. My plan was to run comfortable and not push too hard, hoping for low 6:20s which I happily hit right on target. I tried to be mindful of running with a pack to help block the wind and between that and the tree-lined streets didn't notice the headwind too much on this stretch. Most of the people I was running with were doing the half marathon though, so I was already thinking of how lonely the back half of the race was going to feel. I took a gel at mile 5 and started sipping water every few miles, knowing that even though it was nice and chilly out I still needed to stay on top of hydration.
Miles 7-13: 6:19, 6:19, 6:19, 6:17, 6:19, 6:23, 6:08 (think my watch cut this mile short)
Here the race looped around and we were now closer to the shore and without the protection of trees had an intense cross wind. The race also started to get more mentally tough here because my pack split apart as the half marathoners started picking up the pace. I repeatedly reminded myself that my race was just getting started and that I need to keep it under control. I was mostly by myself by this point, but was very happy with my metronome-like splits.
Miles 14-19: 6:19, 6:27, 6:36, 6:23, 6:27, 6:29
After passing the half marathon finish the race goes south along a boardwalk, over a bridge, and then a long out-and-back. This section was again more mentally tough, and is when I realized 2:45 was probably off the table. The boardwalk had a nice tailwind, but then I crossed over the first of two hills (a bridge you cross twice), which was steeper than expected. I felt strong and in control but couldn't quite push below 6:20, and I was running alone and knew it was going to be a tough grind after the turn around, which was mile 18.5ish.
Miles 20-finish: 6:39, 6:40, 6:43, 6:53, 6:48, 7:20, 6:31, 2:50 (6:03 pace for 0.46 on Strava)
Hit the turnaround point and fuck the wind just instantly destroyed me. The closest person in front of me was probably 50 yards ahead and I thought about trying to surge to catch him so that we could draft/work together, but he was already gapping me more and I didn't think I could recover if I'd pushed that hard to catch him. There was at least a bit of tree protection on the first couple miles, but mile 23 crossed the bridge again and then 24 and 25 were along the boardwalk directly into what was at least a 20mph headwind. I was pushing with everything I had and felt like I was practically running in place. This was my 6th marathon and I've hit the wall before (poor nutrition and ambitious pacing) and gotten overheated (Chicago 2021) but had never had this feeling where my legs should've been moving fast but just...weren't. I thought maybe a PR was still on the table but had to just stop looking at my watch and run. Thankfully just before mile 26 there's another U-turn so the finishing stretch had a glorious tailwind that helped me pick it up a bit to cross the line at 2:51:23 Post-Race
Stumbled around to find my wife and son, took a picture by the ocean, then got extremely cold and had to "hustle" back to the hotel to shower and warm up. I have very mixed emotions about the race. On the one hand I know I lost a ton of time to the wind on the last 8 miles - looking at other people's Strava splits everyone struggled on that stretch. I'd like to think the wind was a bigger contributor to the positive split than having gone out too fast. Maybe 2:45 wasn't going to happen, but I'm hoping I'm closer to it than this race shows. I am at least proud of myself for making through a helluva training block, and know that all the big miles will eventually pay off. What's Next
I got into NYC so will start training for that in July. In the meantime I'm going to take a few down weeks and then probably work on some shortefaster stuff for a bit. As a Pfitz diehard I'm thinking of changing things up and doing JD 2Q for NYC, probably peaking around 70-80 mpw this time. I think the Pfitz workouts are starting to get a bit stale, and the JD ones look crazy to me which is probably a sign that I need more of those mixed MP/Tempo/Interval workouts and not just the long steady stuff.
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2023.03.20 20:36 confusedstillgoin 3 Bed 2.5 Bath re let available in Ukrainian village
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2023.03.20 20:32 communistthrowaway69 The plague of Diegetic essentialism (or, how I learned to stop worrying, and just enjoy the sub)
There's a specter haunting the sub... the specter of... Oh fuck, this bit is played out, isn't it?
Hello everyone, it's been a couple years since my piece asking people to chill about calling things fascist
. Just long enough for everyone to forget it and the problem to come right back!
But that essay is a companion to today's topic, as is this ever relevant video by FoldingIdeas about The Thermian Argument
Today, I want to talk about diegetic essentialism, how it poisons discourse, and is a cynical ploy by corporations to get you to mindlessly consume their products. And, especially, how it's managed to infect Warhammer and Sigmarxism in particular.
If you Google the term "Diegetic Essentialism," the first result is....this sub? What the fuck? Did we make up this term?
Shit, that can't be right.
Ok, so there are actually a lot of other terms to describe this phenomenon, which has become pandemic over the past decade. Lore brain, Wookipediaism, the Thermian Argument, Cinema Sins-esque, Funko Pop Sunnism (ok, I made up that last one too).
But being the fucking insufferable, over educated losers that we are, we decided the best label was diegetic essentialism. The perfect academia poisoned definition. Exactly descriptive, but so wrapped up in jargon, it can't be understood on its own. So what does it mean?
The diegesis is a work of fiction's "universe." It is the imaginary place where the story is unfolding. There's a joke that's common in movies that explains the concept perfectly. A soundtrack is played over the intro, and when the credits are finished, a character leans over and turns off the radio, cutting the song short. The joke being, you thought it was the film's soundtrack, something the characters can't hear, but it was actually diegetic sound, sound that existed "in that universe." The joke being that there kind of isn't a real difference (hyuk hyuk).
Essentialism just means the only valid thing. To be essentialist is to say that something has an underlying, a priori nature that cannot be denied.
Put em together? It means someone who thinks the only way to analyze, critique, or understand fiction is as though it were real
. To the DEckhead (how I'll be referring to the diegetic essentialist from now on), a work of fiction is like a keyhole into an alternate universe as real as ours.
There's nothing inherently
wrong with this, it's often how we enjoy something as a consumer. And the DEckhead is nothing if not a consoomer.
While we're watching a movie or reading a book, we allow ourselves to pretend like it's real. It's fun.
But when a normal person returns to reality, they understand that fiction not only isn't real, not only can't be real, but isn't intended
to be, beyond the fun of enjoying it.
It is something which is produced by artists, authors, actors. It may or may not have clarity of purpose, themes, intended takeaways, cultural criticisms, etc. It might just be something someone thought was cool.
In a movie like, say, Scott Pilgrim (I know but it's a good example here), when Scott punches someone they burst into coins. This is obviously not intended to be real
. In the "universe" of Scott Pilgrim, people are not made of coins, it's just a fun video game reference, an absurdist joke.
But this is true even in something like Superman. When Supe punches someone, he's not really
punching someone. The physics of that would be like being impaled by a telephone pole. No, the punch is essentially metaphorical. Evil is defeated by the strength of justice. A punch is the psychologically satisfying, "non violent" way to do that. IRL it actually very easily could kill the petty criminal the same way a knife or a gun could, but it's something our brains can passively accept, it feels
This is a critical aspect of media comprehension. Most aspects of a story are thematic
. They're not meant to be understood as literally real
, but rather meant to evoke the feeling of something real.
The DEckhead does not
understand this, or, chooses not to, and gets angry at people who don't follow along. To them, a fictional universe is a consistent, coherent place that exists beyond the boundaries of the text in question. And the only thing you're allowed to do is contribute to "the canon." A term which was literally invented as a joke that is now taken 100% seriously. Welcome to the internet, enjoy your signal decay.
Our sub's eternal enemy, 40klore, is a perfect example of this.
Always are they searching for "evidence" of what something is "really" like, or who would win what fight. You know the type.
Which primarch has the biggest dick? What does Shadowsun eat for breakfast? Questions that, even if an author explicitly spells them out, do not have
answers, because they are not real.
Let me give you some other examples to give you an idea how absurd this exercise is:
Does Gandalf have colon cancer? Does Pikachu like dubstep? Did Captain Ahab have imposter syndrome? Hopefully, you're getting the idea. Characters exist to serve a story, they don't have a reality independent of that.
And the only thing that determines what happens next in a story is what an author decides
will happen next. That's it. This is true even of historical fiction or works like The Martian
, in which the original author went to great lengths to make it as "realistic" as possible. But "Realism" is essentially a genre trapping. It's like a lightsaber color, it's just there to help you enjoy the work. It can't be
So here's a great example from the sub that everyone isn't sick to death of, female space marines!
What does the DEckhead say? There can't be female marines because there's no geneseed for them. What does the other DEckhead say? Cawl could totally do it if he did primaris!
These answers are categorically wrong. There were
female marines, but they didn't sell as well, and for logistical reasons, they were dropped. Lore was invented to justify this. And it stays that way because the cultivated identity of your marine consumer expects
it to stay that way (we will talk about this term later), and would go Gamergate on GW if it changed. GW likes money, and not rocking the boat, so without a compelling reason to blow up their current fanbase, they maintain a piece of fluff so that it's "impossible." ("It's an easy fix! One line of dialogue, thank God we invented the uhh.. You know... Whatever, device."
This is the only coherent answer. "Lore" reasons are for idiots, and are literally wrong. It's like thinking that Toucan Sam controls what goes into froot loops.
Of course, I'm not saying you can't enjoy fiction on its own terms. But when criticizing it, you must think of it in material terms, as a production made by authors with intent. Lest you fall into this mental trap.
So how is this relevant to us, and why is it bad? Seems straightforward right? Can we be done here?
Well, unfortunately, DE is the tip of a very ugly cultural iceberg. We have a lot to talk about. About late capitalism, about the tendency of the rate of profit to fall, and about how one of capitalism's new frontiers is our brains, and how they've been fully colonized.
Ugh, fuck, like my sister essay, this is way too long. We will break it up with memes and jokes. Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.
Have you noticed recently that there's just, like, way
too much shit?
Pick any medium: TV, streaming, books, games, movies, music, fuck, even board and tabletop games.
The production and sale of entertainment products is more voluminous than ever. The sheer quantity of things released, even good
things, is so large, that even if it were your full time job, you couldn't keep up with just one
of these mediums, let alone multiple.
Sometimes people in the same hobby, that like the same genre, maybe even the same property
, won't have anything in common with each other.
It did not used to be this way. For better or for worse, "pop culture" used to mean pretty much everyone had seen something. In 1991, 22 million people watched the season finale of Dallas
. Now, something with a 2 million person fanbase is considered strong.
As more and more media is produced, it is competing with an ever shrinking attention span. You literally don't have time for this shit.
What results is an alienated, fractured fan "community," one in which you're forced to seek out other atomized individuals to even know someone who's experienced the same thing as you.
And this problem is only getting worse. With the proliferation of choices, not only is there an ocean of garbage to wade through, but a calculation has to be made whether that thing is even worth
experiencing if you'll never even meet someone else who has as well.
Ever scrolled through Netflix for hours and found nothing to watch? Ever paid good money for a game on steam and never once played it? How many books are you planning to eventually read, only to find that by the time you start, they're not relevant anymore?
There used to be a thought experiment in philosophy like this: if you had a superpower where you could make any movie you want, but only you could see it, would you want it?
That's not a thought experiment anymore, it is functionally true.
As a result, very few cultural properties have any lasting impact, and fewer still will even experience them. And so they become shallower as a result. They need to appeal to ever increasing crowds of people but still have nothing to say. How can you make a resonant cultural impact, when the culture is essentially a shattered mirror of little cultivated fandoms? How can you even know how to speak to people? This is, not coincidentally, why every show sounds like Twitter now.
Corporations have a term they use, cultivated identity, to describe a marketing and sales strategy for how you break through an environment like this.
Now this part of things I'm not an expert in. A lot of people make a lot of money figuring this shit out. But the outline of it isn't hard to understand.
If you're selling people a product, you're kind of a sucker. The buyer gets to evaluate whether that product is worth their money, and you have to convince them that it is, based on its quality, with consequences involved for lying or falling short.
But what if instead, you could convince someone that the product is part of their identity? You're not a customer, you're a blorbo! And you can't wait for blorb 13, the blorbening!
What does it matter if it's good? A blorbo blorbs. Duh.
Obviously, I made this sound as stupid as possible. And yet, how many people call themselves gamers
? Hobbyists? Superfans? YouTubers? Even "nerd" and "leftist" can fall into this category.
This isn't like being a film buff, which has expectations of expertise involved. And it's not like an ordinary fandom or genre appreciator, e.g., a metalhead. This is merely a consumer category. You get in the club by being someone continually buying into something, regardless
of quality or expertise.
It's pernicious, and it's a highly effective way to cut through all the noise.
Why buy the next thing? Because it's your identity. You could avoid it, if you wanted. But then you're back to that screaming void of attempting to parse through an ocean of stuff based on its quality, which no one else may even know about. Worse, the more people become like this, the less you can relate to them unless you become the same thing.
How many of you have read all of the Horus Heresy novels, all 60-something of them, even though you can count on your fingers which ones aren't complete dogshit?
I own all the Broken Realms books, and I sit and defend AoS on this sub all the time. Why? That shit is online somewhere for free, and I don't give a shit what redditors think about a game I enjoy playing.
It's because GW colonized our brains. In order to keep you onboard, they want you thinking about Warhammer all the fucking time
. They want it to be the only thing you consume.
Have you ever looked at something in real life and said, "hey! That's just like Warhammer!" But no, it obviously isn't. That's their marketing with its hooks in you. That's the brainworm they inserted so you'll keep coming back.
And now that I've mentioned this, you probably see it everywhere. Video games that demand they be the only things you play. Endless manga and anime that never has a satisfactory conclusion. TV or books that go on forever and have spinoffs and sequels and tie ins and etc etc etc.
This differs from just making more content for things that are popular. The goal of these kinds of franchises is to be totaling. Warhammer, in particular, is so impenetrable that you can't know it all (even if it is a mile wide and an inch deep, which is actually intentional.)
Marvel of course is the clear juggernaut here. You could live your entire life in a Marvel bubble, if you wanted to. There's that much content.
Shit, even things like apps have the same strategy. Endlessly consuming your attention, refusing to let you go long past when you're getting any use out of it. How often do you even remember what memes you looked at an hour after you put your phone down?
How do they cast this spell on us? Why does this work?
And now we return to D.E., and its role in this.
Real media criticism is like the product comparison we made before. Is this a good fiction? Are its themes coherent? What were the authors trying to say? Were the performances good? Etc etc.
You may notice, these are essentially subjective questions, which are the bane of both capital and the hopeless nerd.
If I judge something as bad, it's not easy to convince me otherwise. So you need to pull the conversation away from that, into something "objective."
Enter diegetic essentialism. The goal here is not to evaluate any substantive question. The goal is to establish canon.
Quality and artistic merit are essentially irrelevant. And the author might as well be god himself. Aloof and unknowable.
In a deeply bitter form of irony, many DEckheads actually invoke death of the author
as evidence for why a story can only mean what its "canon" implies it means. Symbolism? Allegory? Metaphor? These things don't exist. Only "details." Details established by fan arguments.
In this environment, it becomes very difficult to relate actual media criticism to the cultivated identity DEckhead. It tends to annoy them, or "spoil the fun." You're evaluating quality and artistry? That's not why we're here, bucko.
For you to fit into these properties, and therefore not be lost in the cultural wasteland, you begin to compete
to be the biggest "fan." The best lore understander, the most details knower, the most hours logged on, the takes haver.
What becomes important is not actual construction of meaning, talent in performance, or even just having a good time, it's constructing the cultural justification for why it's worth it to stay in this identity.
you know what I mean.
How often have you been roped in to an argument about the Tau? How long have you spent memorizing the details of battles that did not happen and aren't even consistent? How many marketing names do you know for troops that have slightly different weapons?
When you're trapped in DE, all you can do is talk about the details. Everyone is in the walled garden. You're not a visitor here, you're trapped
When we say 40k sucks, what we mean is the vast majority of it is zero effort reactionary garbage. Sure, some of it isn't, but that's the exception.
GW rarely or never credits their authors and artists anymore (their newest paint teacher is hands only lmao). They regularly shit can excellent story ideas if they can't connect to minis sales.
How can this dreck be worth thinking about? It's not just that it isn't real, that's obvious. It's not even really trying.
And yet that won't stop 40klore from furiously discussing the implications of bimchus boltbutt falling to chaos, all one paragraph written about it. And it won't stop someone else from spending two hours digging through wikis (which are like religious monuments dedicated to DE) to "prove" or "disprove" something that was never real and will be overwritten by the next book anyway.
Most of you are subconsciously aware of this. Be honest, when was the last time you really read any of the books? Compare that to how often you read a wiki instead, or, god help us, watched a "loretuber."
It's not your fault, it's because it's bad
. It's not worth
reading 80% of these things. Your brain rebels against it.
At one point, they existed to help you tell a cool story while you were playing a fun game.
Now? They exist to perpetuate a corporate juggernaut with a 30% profit margin. The game is deliberately designed to be miserable to incentivize new model purchases. And Black Library greases that engine.
Influencers and superfans consume and regurgitate "information" and "lore" to a series of people who've decided they "like" something that they literally don't like
And you keep up with it because otherwise, you don't get to be in the "fandom." Hilariously, a lot of the arguments people make on here are incorrect even in DEckhead terms. Like it's obvious to someone who has
read lore when someone else has not. But accuracy isn't even important to the DEckhead. Not really.
Just that it exists to argue about.
And now we come to it. The conclusion that will piss a lot of you off.
Leftist is essentially in this category too. Because it doesn't have a strict, coherent meaning like, say, Marxist-Leninist or Anarcho-Communist.
Despite being nominally anti capitalist, after the honeymoon period of escaping to the left, there is a lingering "what do I do now" that this same market mechanism is happy to latch onto.
"Breadtubers," shitty podcasts, awful electoral politics horseracing, they all fit into this same niche. An endless stream of content to deliberate on, but not act on or organize for.
Worse, since people falsely associate liberalism with the left, and liberals have increasingly become hysterical about the need to "improve" media, rather than improve material conditions, people start using diegetic essentialism to police their own fiction for elements that aren't
How. Many. Fucking. Times. Have you read a thread, on this sub, from people who definitely should know better (and I do not exempt myself one bit) about how X faction is (fascist, capitalist, cringe, based, comrade, etc.) because of some snippet of their lore
no author was trying to communicate, and that the story barely supports?
It's ok if you're just having fun, but we are so far past that point.
Stir made a joke a long time ago about how often the word "anarchy" is used in the Beasts of Chaos and Tzeentch battletomes in Age of Sigmar, and how it would be funny if someone thought that made them anarchist comrades instead of the clearly negative connotation GW puts on the word.
Only that's not a joke, that eventually did happen.
It's ironic that despite how saturated the internet is now with media analysis types with related degrees from universities, media literacy
is probably worse than it's ever been.
Fuck, are we at the end yet? Thank God. The tl;dr is almost here.
When you make an argument like "Salamanders are comrades because in this book they did a thing that was nice, and that's like communism, so they're communists," you are doing the leftist version of DE to keep this consumer identity going. It is exactly the same as a shitty 40klore thread (redundant, I know).
It is the "leftist" version of "no female space marines."
Or, not to put this user on blast, but the recent "Chorfs are capitalist?!??" post is another great example. It would be one thing if we could examine the story and see their mode of production and, wow, look, the author included enclosure of the commons and theft of surplus value, I wonder if that was intentional? But no. The argument is "Chorfs are greedy industrialists. Capitalism has greedy industrialists. Chorfs capitalist?!??"
Lost in this kind of nonsense are basic critical questions. E.g., what was the author(s)' intent? What is the value of this criticism? Is this what the story is about, or is there only incidental interpretive evidence?
What's happening here, is leftists are using the Thermian Argument in reverse. They're using DE to say a story objectively has a message that it does not possess, and that no author intended. And, even worse, that even the interpretation
is an idiotic stretch. All this to keep the fan content churning.
Do you see how foolish this exercise is? Do you see how the point isn't
to critique or analyze or enjoy a work, but to create a competitive context to keep people trapped in these consumer categories?
It would be one thing if, like is the case with Krieg and Space Marines, people were deliberately misinterpreting lore as an endorsement of fascism (using an admittedly lazy and inconsistent framing where they're arguably not wrong). Especially since there's a material effect that misinterpretation(?) has on our lives.
But if we're just arguing about the fucking lore, the answer is that's it's just a bunch of shit designed by Tory adjacent Anglos to sell toys. That's it. Most Warhammer fluff isn't even worth analysis or critique, it's got nothing in it. Even the DEckhead has to scrape the bottom of the barrel most times. Sometimes literal sentences are their only "evidence."
If you want to break out of this hell, you have to start using actual tools of critical media analysis. And absolutely the first step of that is throwing Diegetic Essentialism out the window.
Don't think about lore as real, think of it as decoration for a product, made by tired authors and artists who largely aren't getting any credit.
When you want to have one of these silly takes, ask yourself instead, "what was the person writing this lore trying to accomplish?"
The answer typically, in Warhammer's case, is not much.
This is not to say there's nothing about it to discuss, far from it. We could talk all day about what Warhammer considers normal and what it says about Western values.
But there's no intelligent things to glean from the lore itself.
There is no canon. The lore is not real. It cannot mean or imply anything not expressed by the authors and artists, or so strongly evident in the assumptions of the story, that it's an inescapable facet of it (e.g. Imperium and fascism).
If you don't want to be a consumer brained moron, stop asking """''factual""""" questions about the lore, and ask instead, "what did the author mean?" "How was this work produced and for what reason?" "Who made it?" "How does it make me feel and what are its themes?" And, most importantly
, "is this even good? Is it even worth my time or analysis?"
Otherwise, you're just trapping yourself into a series of pointless arguments to justify your consumption, forever. And you'll be polluting the sub, and dragging everyone else down with you.
Peace, thank you for reading this incredibly stupid essay.
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to Sigmarxism [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 20:31 cxrcnauoij 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
2023.03.20 20:31 ydorhwubjt 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
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Hi my name is Zack Martin. I go to a school on a ship called the S.S. Tipton. I go there with my brother Cody, London Tipton (owner’s daughter)and, Bailey Pickett (Cody’s Girlfriend). They all are my good friends. One weekend we all got a lot closer but you wont see this on are tv show “Suit life on Deck”. here is what happened.
We were docked in Paris. We all were really happy that we were to be in the city of love for a week. I hit on a bunch of French babes. Cody and Bailey were up in the Effile tower. London was off buying entire stores just because she could.
The past couple of weeks Bailey was really sad but Cody couldn’t tell. He may be book smart but he could never read social cues. Cody seemed to be into the famous places they were going to and not Bailey. She loved all the place they got to go to but wanted her boyfriend to notice her. The only time they really seemed to be perfect together is when they are out at sea. Code had nothing to distract him from his beautiful girlfriend. She was maybe the hottest girl on the boat.
Bailey was a simple country girl. She grew up on a farm but she was smart. She knew every thing there is to know. She was also really good looking. She was 5' 8'' and very thin her C cup tits fit her body perfectly. She may have the best blow job lips on the boat. She was almost the perfect girl except she was with Cody of all people.
London didn’t seem to know any thing. She really didn’t need to because she was really rich and gorgeous. Her dad owned a large chain of 5 star hotels. She was pretty hot. She was 18. She was full grow tits they were at less D cup. She may have been a little stout in the past but she really grew in to that now perfect body.
She was in her cabin putting on her solid gold bikini. She was going to the hot tub as I noticed as I pasted on my way to my room. She said hi and asked if I was going to the hot tub. I said yes. I mean who would pass up a chance to see this sexy women in that skimpy bikini. I had to change out of my work clothes I will be out in 15 minuets I told her. I was instantly on edge and couldn't wait to see her again.
I had to work at a smoothie stand because I blew all my and Cody’s money on girls. What can i say im a ladies man and aim to please. I had a hard on by London’s great body. I went into my room rubbed my 7in till I blew a load. I quickly throw on a bathing suit and ran to the sky deck where everyone hangs out. As I got in the water I saw cody and bailey walk up in their bathing suits. She was at less 32C I could tell now better because of the small bikini she was wearing. It was clear she was showing off for someone. She was not rich like London but she had some money. Her parents live on a farm. As they got in I could tell something was bothering her of corse Cody couldn't tell maybe if it was going to be on a test he would. I could always tell how people felt but I didn’t really say anything. We started talking about Paris and school.
Seeing both of these skimpily dressed women got me wanting to rip off all I was wearing and what they had on and ravage their bodies. If there was no bubbles you could easily see I was hard as a rock. I was about to leave but couldn't because of my state.
Cody and London left. He had a project to finish and put my name on. London went to count her endless piles of money to bad she can’t count to 5. So Now just me and Bailey in the hot tub. I could still tell something was bothering her, so I asked her what was wrong. She said nothing but I didn’t believe her so I keep asking. She finally broke down after a few hundred times. I moved up close to her close enough to see along her plump breasts. She said Cody is starting to drift away. She went on and I comforted her. We had been in the hot tub for a very long time so then asked if she wanted to continue in my room. She said sure and we went up. Luckily by now my condition had cleared up and I was able to get up. I didn’t share a room since Bailey pretended to be a boy when there was no spots for girls left till London bribed her roommate to leave. She was my room mate and if I knew she was a chick at the time I would never had let her leave my room.
We were talking for an hour about how cody never listened. She was very upset and nearly crying. She rested her head on my shoulder and i just sat there and listened something Cody must never do. She wanted to go to the party on the deck but Cody wouldn’t go he wasn't a fan of social interactions. I said why don’t we go down to the party as friends. She thought it was a great idea. She wanted to stop by her room first. I told her to go I had some things to do and i would meet her down there.
I got dressed in something dry and grabbed a bag. I quickly had thrown a bottle of vodka i go while in Russia. I had already spiked servile punches at other parties. When down there I pour twice what I usually do because room inspection was in two days and I wanted Bailey to have a good time. I didn’t tell Bailey because I knew she wouldn’t drink any. I got both of us a cup and she thought it was great. Hour and a half and 10 cups later we were both drunk.
Bailey said she was really dizzy and want to go up stairs. When we got to her cabin she couldn't find her key. Since I lived alone I said she could take my second bed if she wanted. Not wanting to see Cody she said yea and we headed over. On the walk we spotted Cody who he him self looked a little drunk and bailey didn't want talk to him so we went around. Then we got to my door.
As soon as we got in I really noticed how drunk I was. Bailey being a little smaller than me must have been on the edge of passing out. She didn't bring anything to wear and asked to borrow a T-shirt. I gave her one of the few clean ones in my room. I went to the bathroom to change my self.
Forgetting Bailey was changing just out side my bathroom door I stumbled out. She was completely naked. Standing there in shock. Her tits were the perfect shape. Round and plump some how going against gravity. Her sweet little pink nipple the size of a nickel. The were perfect for sucking on. She had a beautiful bald pussy. I froze in shock as well. Only wearing gym shorts she must have noticed that I was was growing a third leg. She only giggled and throw on the shirt I gave her. I could clearly see her nipples through the very thin shirt. I apologized for coming out with out knocking. She said nothing only turned a little red. Glancing at my aroused state she slowly moves up to me.
She said Cody never got that excited except for see the Mona Lisa back in the Netherlands. She slid her hand down my side toward my hard cock with out breaking eye contact. Looking around I saw only the shorts and skirt she wore to the party. She didn't have any panties the while time.
She dropped to her knees and got eyes level with my ever hardening tool. Looking up and smiling whispered "Cody never lets me get this close to him."
I could only respond with I'm not Cody. She in one quick move pulled down my shorts and boxers. My cock slapping her in the face as it sprung back up. My purple tip only inches from her bright red lips. She cupped my balls with one hand and started slowly and softly rolling them around. I could nearly take it no longer. I was about to scream as she took the purple tip and kisses it. Send chills down my spine. She didn't have to say anything but I could tell she knew what she was doing. She slowly tool the first inch and half in to her mouth. Her tongue doing circles around the tip. Slowly she pulled more in to her mouth. Now half way in and she could clearly take more. She started to bob her head back and forth. Taking a little more each time. Her long hair already pulled back past her shoulder she had planned on doing this. By this point she had the while thing down her throat taking it little a boss. Slowly she pulled as much as she could fit in. Nearly gagging dripped bits of salvia on the ground and on my cock. I could not take any more of this slow shit.
I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her in fast and I went in deep nearly making her throw me out. I could see on her sexy little face she loved it. I strongly started face fucking her. Sounds of her chocking could be heard throw the whole boat. Her hand flew up and cupped my balls again. Giving them a little squeeze I couldn't help but let out a deep moan. Pulling her in harder that before I could fell her tongue doing all crazy kinds of things. Before I could even tell I was screaming " I about to cum" she only pulled me out long enough to tell me she wanted to taste it. I slammed it back in her taking it all. Shoot after shoot filling her whole mouth. Nothing dripping out. She swallowed the whole load.
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anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n
2012-02-09 23:01:44<\/div>\n Wow that wasn't good at all, it seem like you just wanted to a quick story and didn't want to finish it<\/div>\n
anonymous readerReport<\/a> <\/span><\/h4>\n
2012-02-09 16:46:13<\/div>\n One word------STUPID<\/div>\n submitted by cxrcnauoij to ywrlbnnnnl [link] [comments]
This was RETARDEDEDED. LIKE YOUR MUM.
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