Motels in asheville nc near biltmore

Hi there,
I’m in the NC area and the doctor I had with PlushCare said they don’t even prescribe ozempic or mounjaro if there’s no diabetes (I know that this isn’t true, as I have seen people be prescribed it just for their weight.. but my insurance completely excludes Wegovy.. so I really don’t understand - my doctor said we don’t write a prescription for ozempic or mounjaro unless there’s cash in hand because it’s never covered? Yet with my insurance they said ozempic / mounjaro with PA is covered, and when it’s appealed it’s pushed through, etc. I feel like this doctor was very matter of fact- does anyone from that area have a doctor who practices near there that actually listens and makes you feel heard?? I’m struggling so much… I am on a diet, have PCOS, obese, etc. I just don’t know how to get lucky or if I should see a doctor in person… ugh I’m at a loss, my bf ordered peptide semaglutide and of course I read scary stuff on that as well…
Would appreciate any insight (I have Aetna, if that helps, or if you need more specific plan name…)
I appreciate you all. Thank you. 🥺

DISCLAIMER: I am no professional and trying to educate myself on the go.
Hi, I started to plan a homelab for myself and did quite a lot of work on that so far. Planned nearly everything out and am currently looking for HW and starting to feel down. I layout out my future rack (left is front, right is back) and noticed it's going to be expensive but that's fine as I am going to do it modularly so step by step. Even though it's going to stay in the planning state for quite some time as I want to do it properly and not spontaneously.
In general, I want to have something like a "three node" setup (one node optimized for cpu power for tasks like virtualization and for example cfd, one node for gaming and GPU accelerated computing, and one "node" [consisting out of at least 3 low power nodes] for HA and serving services like DNS, pihole, website, etc) The Diagram is quite complicated but you maybe get the idea. I want to only have the HA nodes running all the time and powering up the "bigger" ones only when I need them.
My main focus for hardware is the ability to scale the "power" nodes up. So a great mainboard in which I could for example easily put more and more ram or more GPUs without having to change the mainboard. Feeling like "Oh I need more RAM" Okay just buy it, put it in, and be done without the overhead of needing to change the mainboard and so on. The goal is to make them more overpowered as money finds its way into my pocket.
What I am struggling with now is finding suitable hardware for that purpose and it makes me question the whole project. So I just thought I could share my progress so far with planning, maybe a lil sanity check, and some recommendations on trusted stores for used commercial-grade server components to get the motivation up again. Also, a lot of concerns in posts on here about noise and heat, and the classic only get what you need is stressing me a bit out. So as I plan and read on here I feel more educated but also more delusional about my project.
Also how much did you guys plan and how did you cope with struggles while doing so? Or did you just go with the moment?
If someone feels like talking about it on maybe discord or sth I would be more than happy about that.
Just for fun here is my network diagram but I don't think that is important. I am going to try to realize it with Proxmox and VLANs.
Please ask for any more information you want/need and give feedback on my post itself.
By the way, I see the whole planning and homelab as a hobby so I am not interested in rented or cloud solutions.
So please share your thoughts if you have time and maybe I get a great new idea.

I rarely post, but recently I've been reading some posts where people offer uplifting responses to strangers. It has been a source of comfort for me lately. At the moment, I feel overwhelmed and defeated, with a deep sense of loneliness. I want to express my emotions intelligently, as I am experiencing profound emotional wounds and a lack of direction in my life. This description reflects my current state.
The aspects that define me at this moment are a combination of permanent, temporary, cyclical, and circumstantial factors. I find myself in the deepest depression I have ever experienced in my 41 years of life. Considering my current circumstances and the metrics used to measure success, I feel like a complete failure. If one were to analyze my job history and performance, there were moments of incredible opportunities followed by brief success, only to be followed by utter failure. Similarly, if we were to evaluate my personal life in terms of social interactions, dating/marriage, friendships, and health, I would be considered among the lowest performers. It seems like my entire life has been marked by failure.
Furthermore, it seems as though the universe has singled me out for some special kind of punishment. For years, I have felt a sense of surrealism, where every decision or action I take inevitably leads to unfavorable outcomes. Every significant matter in my life has ended in prolonged consequences, worsened circumstances, or some form of material loss. I have missed out on numerous opportunities, chances for marriage and having children have slipped away, I am financially struggling, and I have very few friends apart from one in my former hometown of Chicago and another in Alaska. My spirituality and faith have also been deeply affected by the setbacks and obstacles I have faced, and I am dealing with all of this without the support of my estranged family.
My three best friends, my sisters, and I have not spoken in six years. I can't recall the last time I spoke with my brother, as he doesn't respond to my emails or texts. My mother is suffering from rapid-onset dementia, while my father has recently retired from a lifelong career as a doctor. Throughout my life, my family has systematically scapegoated me, starting with being labeled the black sheep. However, everything changed when I disclosed at the age of 27 that my brother had sexually and physically abused me as a child. Since then, life has been a constant battle against me. The universe seemed to shift its axis, and my life has never been the same. It is particularly disconcerting that my brother, a urologist by profession, is the perpetrator of such heinous acts.
My sisters, as research suggests, took sides between the "black sheep/fuckup/substance user" and the successful urologist. They accused me of lying, changing my story, waiting too long, claiming it was nothing, and even being jealous of my brother's life, which includes a mansion, a Porsche, wealth, and respect. Since I have accomplished nothing, they believe I fabricated drunken tales of childhood and only decided to reveal this ultra-specific story at the age of 27. I never imagined that I would lose my family in this way. It feels like I have lost my identity, purpose, support system, best friends, and confidants – my sisters. They have subjected me to the silent treatment, which my brother also employs, treating me as if I don't exist. My sister's last text message summed it up when she said that they don't get together to talk about me anymore because I don't come up in their conversations. It was the same sister who initially encouraged me to reveal the truth about the abuse but then betrayed me and twisted the narrative.
In my family, my case of sexual abuse was not an isolated incident. My father, a physician and at the time a pediatrician in Illinois, had a second case of sexual abuse and incest in his side of the family. His younger brother, the second oldest among seven siblings, also abused his own daughter, my cousin. He is also Dr. A few years before I disclosed my own abuse as an adult, my cousin trusted my father enough to disclose her abuse to him. Despite my father not knowing about my case at the time, he took no professional action to report the abuse committed by another doctor, his brother, who abused his now niece, and did nothing.During that same disclosure, my cousin admitted that her two brothers, who are also my cousins, had abused her as well. This meant that five members of her household, three of whom were abusing one child, were involved in these traumatic events. My father, along with his brother and siblings, did nothing legally to report these incidents. My uncle, the abuser, is now the president of a hospital in East Texas. So technically, my case was the fourth, following my uncle, cousin, and another cousin. One of those cousins is now a pastor of a small church community, while the other works for a former presidential candidate's company. As for me, I have been trapped in a cycle of failure to launch as an adult, mental health issues, and intermittent substance abuse problems for the past 20 years. And that's not even the end of it – the fifth case involves my cousin, who was arrested in a state capital where he worked as a therapist or counselor. He was arrested for filming his young neighbor through her window. I am aware of his arrest but do not have any information regarding the progress of his case or its resolution.
To put it all together, it is an intricate mess of narcissism, ego, power, control, and childhood trauma. I strongly believe I have developed complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) as a result of these experiences. In fact, I am certain that I have.
Fast-forward to the present, and I am writing this from a motel room, where there are too many details to recount from the past six months since my return from Montana. In a way, I followed the path of my other abused cousin – I left. However, I ultimately failed and had to return to a city near my parents, a city I despise. To add to my troubles, I was falsely accused of felony domestic violence soon after my return, further fueling my sense of failure and shame. My parents, upon hearing about the incident, made it clear that they wanted little to do with me. Speaking of Montana, my experiences and the year I spent there were truly nightmarish, to say the least. But that's a story for another time.
During the car ride to a hospital in a small town in the same county, my father and I had an opportunity for a discussion about the abuse. I wanted to understand why he did nothing in all five cases, why the eldest child seems to be targeted (true for my brother and cousin), why successful doctors are involved – including a pastor, a consultant, and now a urologist after the fact. Did he not notice the intergenerational pattern and his own parental negligence as a physician and a parent of adult children? I questioned why he took no action, why his behavior changed so drastically in the past three years, why he lied about his knowledge of nondisclosure agreements (NDAs) when he had used them for possible infidelity and had lied about private settlements. He even harassed me using the police, assassinated my character in our small town, and now charged me with striking him, resulting in false statements and allegations. As a consequence, my reputation has been tarnished while my father's remains pristine. We currently reside in a town where he practiced medicine, and the consequences for me are severe. Deep in my heart, I know that his post-arrest behavior towards me has been consistently inconsistent. He evades questioning, avoids contact and visits, and shows no signs of wanting a relationship. Instead, he guilt-trips me, shifts blame, engages in word salad and gaslighting, and pathologically lies.
As I sit here now, I wonder: What can one do in such a dire situation? There seem to be no options, no answers, no safety nets of money or emotional support, no motivation, and no joy – only the looming threat of a potentially harsh sentence. Even worse, my father has attempted to record my phone calls and offered me money not to hire a proper defense attorney or pursue litigation, just a week before I was supposed to accept a four-year adjudication plea as an innocent party. Then, when I decided to plead my innocence at the last minute during the trial, he abandoned me once again, signaling to me that money is somehow tainted. Regardless, it's gone now.
I apologize for unloading all of this on Reddit, and I understand that it may be quite depressing for others to read. However, I feel that I have reached the end of my fight, not against just one issue, but against a conglomerate of issues that have stolen my life and time, offering me nothing in return. I desperately need legal advice, emotional support, prayers, or any form of assistance. I find myself lost in a maze of confusion, where every turn I make is a miscalculation, distorted by backward perspectives and reflections off other elements. Over the past six weeks since leaving my job due to a problematic relationship with the owner, I have been living a transient and isolated existence in the dark corners of this wretched city. It feels as though I have been exiled from my own life. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I want to assure you that I'm not dramatizing this situation; I'm simply sharing my experience because I have no one else to talk to. I have been completely alone and isolated since losing my job.

I rarely post, but recently I've been reading some posts where people offer uplifting responses to strangers. It has been a source of comfort for me lately. At the moment, I feel overwhelmed and defeated, with a deep sense of loneliness. I want to express my emotions intelligently, as I am experiencing profound emotional wounds and a lack of direction in my life. This description reflects my current state.
The aspects that define me at this moment are a combination of permanent, temporary, cyclical, and circumstantial factors. I find myself in the deepest depression I have ever experienced in my 41 years of life. Considering my current circumstances and the metrics used to measure success, I feel like a complete failure. If one were to analyze my job history and performance, there were moments of incredible opportunities followed by brief success, only to be followed by utter failure. Similarly, if we were to evaluate my personal life in terms of social interactions, dating/marriage, friendships, and health, I would be considered among the lowest performers. It seems like my entire life has been marked by failure.
Furthermore, it seems as though the universe has singled me out for some special kind of punishment. For years, I have felt a sense of surrealism, where every decision or action I take inevitably leads to unfavorable outcomes. Every significant matter in my life has ended in prolonged consequences, worsened circumstances, or some form of material loss. I have missed out on numerous opportunities, chances for marriage and having children have slipped away, I am financially struggling, and I have very few friends apart from one in my former hometown of Chicago and another in Alaska. My spirituality and faith have also been deeply affected by the setbacks and obstacles I have faced, and I am dealing with all of this without the support of my estranged family.
My three best friends, my sisters, and I have not spoken in six years. I can't recall the last time I spoke with my brother, as he doesn't respond to my emails or texts. My mother is suffering from rapid-onset dementia, while my father has recently retired from a lifelong career as a doctor. Throughout my life, my family has systematically scapegoated me, starting with being labeled the black sheep. However, everything changed when I disclosed at the age of 27 that my brother had sexually and physically abused me as a child. Since then, life has been a constant battle against me. The universe seemed to shift its axis, and my life has never been the same. It is particularly disconcerting that my brother, a urologist by profession, is the perpetrator of such heinous acts.
My sisters, as research suggests, took sides between the "black sheep/fuckup/substance user" and the successful urologist. They accused me of lying, changing my story, waiting too long, claiming it was nothing, and even being jealous of my brother's life, which includes a mansion, a Porsche, wealth, and respect. Since I have accomplished nothing, they believe I fabricated drunken tales of childhood and only decided to reveal this ultra-specific story at the age of 27. I never imagined that I would lose my family in this way. It feels like I have lost my identity, purpose, support system, best friends, and confidants – my sisters. They have subjected me to the silent treatment, which my brother also employs, treating me as if I don't exist. My sister's last text message summed it up when she said that they don't get together to talk about me anymore because I don't come up in their conversations. It was the same sister who initially encouraged me to reveal the truth about the abuse but then betrayed me and twisted the narrative.
In my family, my case of sexual abuse was not an isolated incident. My father, a physician and at the time a pediatrician in Illinois, had a second case of sexual abuse and incest in his side of the family. His younger brother, the second oldest among seven siblings, also abused his own daughter, my cousin. He is also Dr. A few years before I disclosed my own abuse as an adult, my cousin trusted my father enough to disclose her abuse to him. Despite my father not knowing about my case at the time, he took no professional action to report the abuse committed by another doctor, his brother, who abused his now niece, and did nothing.During that same disclosure, my cousin admitted that her two brothers, who are also my cousins, had abused her as well. This meant that five members of her household, three of whom were abusing one child, were involved in these traumatic events. My father, along with his brother and siblings, did nothing legally to report these incidents. My uncle, the abuser, is now the president of a hospital in East Texas. So technically, my case was the fourth, following my uncle, cousin, and another cousin. One of those cousins is now a pastor of a small church community, while the other works for a former presidential candidate's company. As for me, I have been trapped in a cycle of failure to launch as an adult, mental health issues, and intermittent substance abuse problems for the past 20 years. And that's not even the end of it – the fifth case involves my cousin, who was arrested in a state capital where he worked as a therapist or counselor. He was arrested for filming his young neighbor through her window. I am aware of his arrest but do not have any information regarding the progress of his case or its resolution.
To put it all together, it is an intricate mess of narcissism, ego, power, control, and childhood trauma. I strongly believe I have developed complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) as a result of these experiences. In fact, I am certain that I have.
Fast-forward to the present, and I am writing this from a motel room, where there are too many details to recount from the past six months since my return from Montana. In a way, I followed the path of my other abused cousin – I left. However, I ultimately failed and had to return to a city near my parents, a city I despise. To add to my troubles, I was falsely accused of felony domestic violence soon after my return, further fueling my sense of failure and shame. My parents, upon hearing about the incident, made it clear that they wanted little to do with me. Speaking of Montana, my experiences and the year I spent there were truly nightmarish, to say the least. But that's a story for another time.
During the car ride to a hospital in a small town in the same county, my father and I had an opportunity for a discussion about the abuse. I wanted to understand why he did nothing in all five cases, why the eldest child seems to be targeted (true for my brother and cousin), why successful doctors are involved – including a pastor, a consultant, and now a urologist after the fact. Did he not notice the intergenerational pattern and his own parental negligence as a physician and a parent of adult children? I questioned why he took no action, why his behavior changed so drastically in the past three years, why he lied about his knowledge of nondisclosure agreements (NDAs) when he had used them for possible infidelity and had lied about private settlements. He even harassed me using the police, assassinated my character in our small town, and now charged me with striking him, resulting in false statements and allegations. As a consequence, my reputation has been tarnished while my father's remains pristine. We currently reside in a town where he practiced medicine, and the consequences for me are severe. Deep in my heart, I know that his post-arrest behavior towards me has been consistently inconsistent. He evades questioning, avoids contact and visits, and shows no signs of wanting a relationship. Instead, he guilt-trips me, shifts blame, engages in word salad and gaslighting, and pathologically lies.
As I sit here now, I wonder: What can one do in such a dire situation? There seem to be no options, no answers, no safety nets of money or emotional support, no motivation, and no joy – only the looming threat of a potentially harsh sentence. Even worse, my father has attempted to record my phone calls and offered me money not to hire a proper defense attorney or pursue litigation, just a week before I was supposed to accept a four-year adjudication plea as an innocent party. Then, when I decided to plead my innocence at the last minute during the trial, he abandoned me once again, signaling to me that money is somehow tainted. Regardless, it's gone now.
I apologize for unloading all of this on Reddit, and I understand that it may be quite depressing for others to read. However, I feel that I have reached the end of my fight, not against just one issue, but against a conglomerate of issues that have stolen my life and time, offering me nothing in return. I desperately need legal advice, emotional support, prayers, or any form of assistance. I find myself lost in a maze of confusion, where every turn I make is a miscalculation, distorted by backward perspectives and reflections off other elements. Over the past six weeks since leaving my job due to a problematic relationship with the owner, I have been living a transient and isolated existence in the dark corners of this wretched city. It feels as though I have been exiled from my own life. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I want to assure you that I'm not dramatizing this situation; I'm simply sharing my experience because I have no one else to talk to. I have been completely alone and isolated since losing my job.

I rarely post, but recently I've been reading some posts where people offer uplifting responses to strangers. It has been a source of comfort for me lately. At the moment, I feel overwhelmed and defeated, with a deep sense of loneliness. I want to express my emotions intelligently, as I am experiencing profound emotional wounds and a lack of direction in my life. This description reflects my current state.
The aspects that define me at this moment are a combination of permanent, temporary, cyclical, and circumstantial factors. I find myself in the deepest depression I have ever experienced in my 41 years of life. Considering my current circumstances and the metrics used to measure success, I feel like a complete failure. If one were to analyze my job history and performance, there were moments of incredible opportunities followed by brief success, only to be followed by utter failure. Similarly, if we were to evaluate my personal life in terms of social interactions, dating/marriage, friendships, and health, I would be considered among the lowest performers. It seems like my entire life has been marked by failure.
Furthermore, it seems as though the universe has singled me out for some special kind of punishment. For years, I have felt a sense of surrealism, where every decision or action I take inevitably leads to unfavorable outcomes. Every significant matter in my life has ended in prolonged consequences, worsened circumstances, or some form of material loss. I have missed out on numerous opportunities, chances for marriage and having children have slipped away, I am financially struggling, and I have very few friends apart from one in my former hometown of Chicago and another in Alaska. My spirituality and faith have also been deeply affected by the setbacks and obstacles I have faced, and I am dealing with all of this without the support of my estranged family.
My three best friends, my sisters, and I have not spoken in six years. I can't recall the last time I spoke with my brother, as he doesn't respond to my emails or texts. My mother is suffering from rapid-onset dementia, while my father has recently retired from a lifelong career as a doctor. Throughout my life, my family has systematically scapegoated me, starting with being labeled the black sheep. However, everything changed when I disclosed at the age of 27 that my brother had sexually and physically abused me as a child. Since then, life has been a constant battle against me. The universe seemed to shift its axis, and my life has never been the same. It is particularly disconcerting that my brother, a urologist by profession, is the perpetrator of such heinous acts.
My sisters, as research suggests, took sides between the "black sheep/fuckup/substance user" and the successful urologist. They accused me of lying, changing my story, waiting too long, claiming it was nothing, and even being jealous of my brother's life, which includes a mansion, a Porsche, wealth, and respect. Since I have accomplished nothing, they believe I fabricated drunken tales of childhood and only decided to reveal this ultra-specific story at the age of 27. I never imagined that I would lose my family in this way. It feels like I have lost my identity, purpose, support system, best friends, and confidants – my sisters. They have subjected me to the silent treatment, which my brother also employs, treating me as if I don't exist. My sister's last text message summed it up when she said that they don't get together to talk about me anymore because I don't come up in their conversations. It was the same sister who initially encouraged me to reveal the truth about the abuse but then betrayed me and twisted the narrative.
In my family, my case of sexual abuse was not an isolated incident. My father, a physician and at the time a pediatrician in Illinois, had a second case of sexual abuse and incest in his side of the family. His younger brother, the second oldest among seven siblings, also abused his own daughter, my cousin. He is also Dr. A few years before I disclosed my own abuse as an adult, my cousin trusted my father enough to disclose her abuse to him. Despite my father not knowing about my case at the time, he took no professional action to report the abuse committed by another doctor, his brother, who abused his now niece, and did nothing.During that same disclosure, my cousin admitted that her two brothers, who are also my cousins, had abused her as well. This meant that five members of her household, three of whom were abusing one child, were involved in these traumatic events. My father, along with his brother and siblings, did nothing legally to report these incidents. My uncle, the abuser, is now the president of a hospital in East Texas. So technically, my case was the fourth, following my uncle, cousin, and another cousin. One of those cousins is now a pastor of a small church community, while the other works for a former presidential candidate's company. As for me, I have been trapped in a cycle of failure to launch as an adult, mental health issues, and intermittent substance abuse problems for the past 20 years. And that's not even the end of it – the fifth case involves my cousin, who was arrested in a state capital where he worked as a therapist or counselor. He was arrested for filming his young neighbor through her window. I am aware of his arrest but do not have any information regarding the progress of his case or its resolution.
To put it all together, it is an intricate mess of narcissism, ego, power, control, and childhood trauma. I strongly believe I have developed complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) as a result of these experiences. In fact, I am certain that I have.
Fast-forward to the present, and I am writing this from a motel room, where there are too many details to recount from the past six months since my return from Montana. In a way, I followed the path of my other abused cousin – I left. However, I ultimately failed and had to return to a city near my parents, a city I despise. To add to my troubles, I was falsely accused of felony domestic violence soon after my return, further fueling my sense of failure and shame. My parents, upon hearing about the incident, made it clear that they wanted little to do with me. Speaking of Montana, my experiences and the year I spent there were truly nightmarish, to say the least. But that's a story for another time.
During the car ride to a hospital in a small town in the same county, my father and I had an opportunity for a discussion about the abuse. I wanted to understand why he did nothing in all five cases, why the eldest child seems to be targeted (true for my brother and cousin), why successful doctors are involved – including a pastor, a consultant, and now a urologist after the fact. Did he not notice the intergenerational pattern and his own parental negligence as a physician and a parent of adult children? I questioned why he took no action, why his behavior changed so drastically in the past three years, why he lied about his knowledge of nondisclosure agreements (NDAs) when he had used them for possible infidelity and had lied about private settlements. He even harassed me using the police, assassinated my character in our small town, and now charged me with striking him, resulting in false statements and allegations. As a consequence, my reputation has been tarnished while my father's remains pristine. We currently reside in a town where he practiced medicine, and the consequences for me are severe. Deep in my heart, I know that his post-arrest behavior towards me has been consistently inconsistent. He evades questioning, avoids contact and visits, and shows no signs of wanting a relationship. Instead, he guilt-trips me, shifts blame, engages in word salad and gaslighting, and pathologically lies.
As I sit here now, I wonder: What can one do in such a dire situation? There seem to be no options, no answers, no safety nets of money or emotional support, no motivation, and no joy – only the looming threat of a potentially harsh sentence. Even worse, my father has attempted to record my phone calls and offered me money not to hire a proper defense attorney or pursue litigation, just a week before I was supposed to accept a four-year adjudication plea as an innocent party. Then, when I decided to plead my innocence at the last minute during the trial, he abandoned me once again, signaling to me that money is somehow tainted. Regardless, it's gone now.
I apologize for unloading all of this on Reddit, and I understand that it may be quite depressing for others to read. However, I feel that I have reached the end of my fight, not against just one issue, but against a conglomerate of issues that have stolen my life and time, offering me nothing in return. I desperately need legal advice, emotional support, prayers, or any form of assistance. I find myself lost in a maze of confusion, where every turn I make is a miscalculation, distorted by backward perspectives and reflections off other elements. Over the past six weeks since leaving my job due to a problematic relationship with the owner, I have been living a transient and isolated existence in the dark corners of this wretched city. It feels as though I have been exiled from my own life. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I want to assure you that I'm not dramatizing this situation; I'm simply sharing my experience because I have no one else to talk to. I have been completely alone and isolated since losing my job.

I rarely post, but recently I've been reading some posts where people offer uplifting responses to strangers. It has been a source of comfort for me lately. At the moment, I feel overwhelmed and defeated, with a deep sense of loneliness. I want to express my emotions intelligently, as I am experiencing profound emotional wounds and a lack of direction in my life. This description reflects my current state.
The aspects that define me at this moment are a combination of permanent, temporary, cyclical, and circumstantial factors. I find myself in the deepest depression I have ever experienced in my 41 years of life. Considering my current circumstances and the metrics used to measure success, I feel like a complete failure. If one were to analyze my job history and performance, there were moments of incredible opportunities followed by brief success, only to be followed by utter failure. Similarly, if we were to evaluate my personal life in terms of social interactions, dating/marriage, friendships, and health, I would be considered among the lowest performers. It seems like my entire life has been marked by failure.
Furthermore, it seems as though the universe has singled me out for some special kind of punishment. For years, I have felt a sense of surrealism, where every decision or action I take inevitably leads to unfavorable outcomes. Every significant matter in my life has ended in prolonged consequences, worsened circumstances, or some form of material loss. I have missed out on numerous opportunities, chances for marriage and having children have slipped away, I am financially struggling, and I have very few friends apart from one in my former hometown of Chicago and another in Alaska. My spirituality and faith have also been deeply affected by the setbacks and obstacles I have faced, and I am dealing with all of this without the support of my estranged family.
My three best friends, my sisters, and I have not spoken in six years. I can't recall the last time I spoke with my brother, as he doesn't respond to my emails or texts. My mother is suffering from rapid-onset dementia, while my father has recently retired from a lifelong career as a doctor. Throughout my life, my family has systematically scapegoated me, starting with being labeled the black sheep. However, everything changed when I disclosed at the age of 27 that my brother had sexually and physically abused me as a child. Since then, life has been a constant battle against me. The universe seemed to shift its axis, and my life has never been the same. It is particularly disconcerting that my brother, a urologist by profession, is the perpetrator of such heinous acts.
My sisters, as research suggests, took sides between the "black sheep/fuckup/substance user" and the successful urologist. They accused me of lying, changing my story, waiting too long, claiming it was nothing, and even being jealous of my brother's life, which includes a mansion, a Porsche, wealth, and respect. Since I have accomplished nothing, they believe I fabricated drunken tales of childhood and only decided to reveal this ultra-specific story at the age of 27. I never imagined that I would lose my family in this way. It feels like I have lost my identity, purpose, support system, best friends, and confidants – my sisters. They have subjected me to the silent treatment, which my brother also employs, treating me as if I don't exist. My sister's last text message summed it up when she said that they don't get together to talk about me anymore because I don't come up in their conversations. It was the same sister who initially encouraged me to reveal the truth about the abuse but then betrayed me and twisted the narrative.
In my family, my case of sexual abuse was not an isolated incident. My father, a physician and at the time a pediatrician in Illinois, had a second case of sexual abuse and incest in his side of the family. His younger brother, the second oldest among seven siblings, also abused his own daughter, my cousin. He is also Dr. A few years before I disclosed my own abuse as an adult, my cousin trusted my father enough to disclose her abuse to him. Despite my father not knowing about my case at the time, he took no professional action to report the abuse committed by another doctor, his brother, who abused his now niece, and did nothing.During that same disclosure, my cousin admitted that her two brothers, who are also my cousins, had abused her as well. This meant that five members of her household, three of whom were abusing one child, were involved in these traumatic events. My father, along with his brother and siblings, did nothing legally to report these incidents. My uncle, the abuser, is now the president of a hospital in East Texas. So technically, my case was the fourth, following my uncle, cousin, and another cousin. One of those cousins is now a pastor of a small church community, while the other works for a former presidential candidate's company. As for me, I have been trapped in a cycle of failure to launch as an adult, mental health issues, and intermittent substance abuse problems for the past 20 years. And that's not even the end of it – the fifth case involves my cousin, who was arrested in a state capital where he worked as a therapist or counselor. He was arrested for filming his young neighbor through her window. I am aware of his arrest but do not have any information regarding the progress of his case or its resolution.
To put it all together, it is an intricate mess of narcissism, ego, power, control, and childhood trauma. I strongly believe I have developed complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) as a result of these experiences. In fact, I am certain that I have.
Fast-forward to the present, and I am writing this from a motel room, where there are too many details to recount from the past six months since my return from Montana. In a way, I followed the path of my other abused cousin – I left. However, I ultimately failed and had to return to a city near my parents, a city I despise. To add to my troubles, I was falsely accused of felony domestic violence soon after my return, further fueling my sense of failure and shame. My parents, upon hearing about the incident, made it clear that they wanted little to do with me. Speaking of Montana, my experiences and the year I spent there were truly nightmarish, to say the least. But that's a story for another time.
During the car ride to a hospital in a small town in the same county, my father and I had an opportunity for a discussion about the abuse. I wanted to understand why he did nothing in all five cases, why the eldest child seems to be targeted (true for my brother and cousin), why successful doctors are involved – including a pastor, a consultant, and now a urologist after the fact. Did he not notice the intergenerational pattern and his own parental negligence as a physician and a parent of adult children? I questioned why he took no action, why his behavior changed so drastically in the past three years, why he lied about his knowledge of nondisclosure agreements (NDAs) when he had used them for possible infidelity and had lied about private settlements. He even harassed me using the police, assassinated my character in our small town, and now charged me with striking him, resulting in false statements and allegations. As a consequence, my reputation has been tarnished while my father's remains pristine. We currently reside in a town where he practiced medicine, and the consequences for me are severe. Deep in my heart, I know that his post-arrest behavior towards me has been consistently inconsistent. He evades questioning, avoids contact and visits, and shows no signs of wanting a relationship. Instead, he guilt-trips me, shifts blame, engages in word salad and gaslighting, and pathologically lies.
As I sit here now, I wonder: What can one do in such a dire situation? There seem to be no options, no answers, no safety nets of money or emotional support, no motivation, and no joy – only the looming threat of a potentially harsh sentence. Even worse, my father has attempted to record my phone calls and offered me money not to hire a proper defense attorney or pursue litigation, just a week before I was supposed to accept a four-year adjudication plea as an innocent party. Then, when I decided to plead my innocence at the last minute during the trial, he abandoned me once again, signaling to me that money is somehow tainted. Regardless, it's gone now.
I apologize for unloading all of this on Reddit, and I understand that it may be quite depressing for others to read. However, I feel that I have reached the end of my fight, not against just one issue, but against a conglomerate of issues that have stolen my life and time, offering me nothing in return. I desperately need legal advice, emotional support, prayers, or any form of assistance. I find myself lost in a maze of confusion, where every turn I make is a miscalculation, distorted by backward perspectives and reflections off other elements. Over the past six weeks since leaving my job due to a problematic relationship with the owner, I have been living a transient and isolated existence in the dark corners of this wretched city. It feels as though I have been exiled from my own life. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I want to assure you that I'm not dramatizing this situation; I'm simply sharing my experience because I have no one else to talk to. I have been completely alone and isolated since losing my job.

Leo and I have been talking for about 4 weeks now, nonstop. The other night, on the 3rd, I was insanely tired, though he was supposed to call me. I know he was caught up in his game taking a while to reply and finally took soooo long that I fell asleep. He knows that something unexpected happened in my life and I've been really busy lately and haven't had much sleep. I slept damn near 12 hours.
Since then, he's being short and I know he's upset. We literally went from him telling me that day that he misses hearing my voice to being so short that he hasn't responded to be for the past 12 hours, now!
I'm just done, man. I'm going NC. Is he thinking about me, or are we done cause of one fuck up? Just trynna ask some lions in the room. The elephant got me f'd up.

https://ktvo.com/news/local/kirksville-teens-suv-rammed-multiple-times-during-high-speed-chase?fbclid=IwAR2DU2S_0VaH6rtAyWSrMkrx9yo5DN4BD7gacdb0NtUGNJxwqW1lnPfUCoc_aem_th_ATtORg8L5rZfP76U6SQumdCje8btx7H4T19OOoJvYGyUYUFirCmjNc_Tj3Um43E09YI&mibextid=Zxz2cZ
This recently happened in a town near me, and has been the source of serious debate and tension in the surrounding community. Does anyone care to give any outside perspective on the situation, whether it be legal or just personal opinion?

I'll be spending some time in Asheville soon and have deep family roots there. I'm a true crime follower and there's a crazy case involving Asheville, and I'm hoping to find out the related location.
The case is the 1994 case of Judy Smith. She was in Philadelphia with her husband at a conference, went missing sightseeing, then five months later some hunters found her skeleton near the Stony Fork picnic area in Candler. She had no known ties to the area and she'd been stabbed in the chest. One of the most interesting things I've heard about it is a single mention that the now defunct website for her was interested in anyone who knew about people who were fans of the book The Celestine Prophecy - I can't find anything else about that. It's famous for being a completely baffling case and you should check it out if you're into mysteries.
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone knew the location where she was found, as I'd like to see it.

As the title notes, I'm looking for a special someone who's looking for the same thing. Someone who's looking for a great connection, loves witty and interesting banter throughout the day/week to keep life interesting, and an physical activities partner if we click. Someone who's looking for some new and fun adventures in life, yet keep it drama free because lord knows we need some escape after living through everything over the last couple of years with covid and general madness.
A little bit about myself. I'm 38, very professional job, 5'8'', disease and drug free, married (in an open relationship so no drama) with one child, fit, broad shouldered (used to be a running back in football if that give one and idea of body type), black hair with brown eyes, sane with a funny/sarcastic sense of humor and moderate/liberal views. My main vice would probably be that I enjoy coffee WAY TOO MUCH for my own good and enjoy working out, reading (currently re-reading Count of Monte Cristo), cooking, trying new restaurants and traveling when possible.
I'm looking for a female age 20-45, race doesn't matter to me, loves conversations, and someone who's in or near the triangle area of NC as I would love to actually meet and grab some coffee in person one day. If this interests you, I would love to connect. Otherwise, hope you're having a wonderful day

Hi, all! My husband and I are wanting to relocate near OBX within the next few years. We are currently living near Asheville.
While we've visited up and down the OBX and inner beaches/towns, we aren't really sure where to look as far as where would be best to look at moving. Our plan is to pick 2-3 potential towns/cities and visit each for a few days before making a final decision. If anyone could give me a few suggestions, I'd appreciate it!
Potentially relevant info/what we're looking for:
- Reasonable cost of living (I'm a teacher and husband has a similar income, so we aren't rich by any means lmao)
- Good schools for our son (he won't enter kindergarten for a couple more years)
- Along the lines of our sons needs, somewhere with lots of kid-friendly things to do
- We have family in Morehead City, so closeness (within an hour) of there would be awesome
Thanks in advance! We've been playing with the idea of moving for a while now, but our most recent trip sealed the deal for us.

To begin, two major changes need to be made to both FTWD and TWD. Firstly, Travis is shot in the neck, and he does throw himself out of the helicopter, but he survives by landing in a river. Secondly, in TWD, Carl doesn't die. Instead, Morgan sacrifices his life in some grand gesture, and his final plea is for Rick to end the war.
My Reasoning:

1. Not only was Travis' death sudden and absurd, but it also ruined any potential he had to become an excellent character. In my version, Madison and Co are still pushed forward by news of his "death," killing two birds with one stone and allowing for a myriad of interesting possibilities.
2. This allows TWD to continue closer to how it did in the comics, a way I find much more narratively satisfying, and doesn't allow Morgan to crossover--thus stopping FTWD from becoming the "Morgan and Friends Show". (Maybe he can die saving Carl--bringing his character arc of not being able to protect Duane full circle.)

These are not entire seasons. These are simply general ideas. P.S. - Reading this in one sitting might make it feel like a breakneck pace, but just try to picture your own episodes within these seasons.
SEASON 3
With Travis now alive, it allows season three to play out basically the same, until the mid-season finale, where Travis would reveal himself as alive. From there, we would get a Travis-centric episode like we did with Daniel, showing how he stitched up his own neck wound and lived in the wilderness until he was found by Walker's people. As someone else said on this sub, this would open up the possibility of Travis being a bridge between the two people groups.
Because of his siding with Walker, we could get a very interesting dynamic between Travis and the other Clarks, specifically Madison. Story beats would have to change, but this will help the overarching story overall. For my purposes, Travis (while with Walker's people) would revert to his more pacifist self as he was in seasons 1 and 2. However, this would not change his tendency for violence, which he would struggle with during the duration of the season. Luciana still leaves, Daniel is still shot by Strand, Madison still kills Troy, and Nick still destroys the dam.
TLDR: Travis survives his gunshot wound and becomes a bridge between the two communities. The rest of the season's events basically play out the same, with obvious changes.
​

SEASON 4

The dam has exploded. And after a minor time skip, we meet up with our crew: Madison, Alicia, Nick, and Travis, who are hiding out in an abandoned gas station. You see, while the dam is gone and quite a few of the Proctors with it, they're still everywhere; searching for the people who tried to wipe them out. In a hail-mary attempt, the Clarks flee up north, leaving Mexico and hopefully the Proctors by heading into Texas. They all assume Daniel and Strand are dead, and whatever sense of morality they had at the ranch has now completely been lost. They are ruthless to both walkers and people, both of which they find plenty of in the Texas plains.
One of the main relationships I want to grow in this season is between Nick and Travis. While they did interact in the other seasons, it was to a very small extent--most of Travis' time was spent with his own son Chris. But with Travis' brutality more or less returning, and Nick no longer being the fun-loving and adventurous 19-year-old we knew, they grow closer--two men who have lost their innocence and themselves to the apocalypse. Nick will become the son Travis never had. But as they grow closer, so do Madison and Alycia. However, it's not a paternal healthy bond, it's Alycia trying to live up to the "Golden Child" standard she's kept for herself. With Madison's tendency to care more about Nick becoming ever more obvious, Alycia is driven by a need to please her mother--something that will eventually tear the family apart. But for all intents and purposes, the Clarks are the strongest they've ever been.
After a few episodes of traveling through Texas, they are stopped by three members of a Biker Gang (think Hell's Angels or Sons of Anarchy). They try to intimidate our crew into giving up what little supplies they have, but with a single look from Madison, two of the bikers are dead and the other is nearly beaten to death. Travis argues they take the bikes and leave, but Madison suspects they have a camp nearby--and after a torture session performed by Travis, she's told that she's right. They are led to the Dell Diamond Baseball Stadium, which the Bikers call home. After an initial standoff, our crew is let in. Everyone is wary of these Bikers, but after only a little while, they quickly integrate into the group. Travis fits right in with the rough-and-tumble men, Alycia is praised for what little medical skill she has (which she uses to heal the tortured Biker, named Cole), Nick becomes a valuable asset for what the Bikers do, and Madison quickly rises up the ranks.
You see, these Bikers are like the Saviors. They run a protection racket. But instead of Negan's view of people: that they're a resource to be maintained, the Bikers simply destroy whoever doesn't bend to their will. However, there's a major problem: both manpower and bullets are hard to come by in the apocalypse, especially when they kill whoever disobeys them. But that's where Nick fits right in. With his skill with the walkers, he dons the blood and guts once more, using it to lead entire walker hordes into stubborn communities. They've found another new home. But as Travis and Madison make clear, it is not permanent.
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All seems well until word begins to spread amongst the Bikers. Their pre-apocalypse rivals, the Proctors, have made their presence known. In a show of force, the leader of the Bikers takes most of his men out to meet with the Proctors. At the same time, a young girl named Charlie is let into the stadium. Nick becomes a surrogate older brother, and they grow close. But our group, of course now fearful, vote to remain at the stadium with a few other nameless civilians and a healing Cole. It's going to be a few days, so Madison and the family lock the stadium down. No one in or out. That's when the Vultures show up.
Like season four of FTWD, they're still a corny group of hippies, but our group has dealt with worse. Way worse. Madison and Travis leave the stadium to talk to the Vultures, while Nick and Alycia stay back with Charlie. However, the young girl is revealed to be a double agent, the one who let the Vultures know that the majority of the Bikers were leaving. She pulls a gun on Nick and Alycia just as Madison and Travis single-handily slaughter all of the Vultures. None are left alive. Hearing the commotion, mixed with fear and anger, Charlie shoots Nick. But Alycia, in a split second, kills Charlie.
Now dying of a gunshot wound, Alycia desperately begins surgery on Nick. Madison is purely focused on her son, but the weight of what they just did is finally beginning to set on Travis. Nick is treated just as the Bikers return, a majority of their numbers wiped out. We then get a Strand-focused episode, revealing how after the dam he was captured by Proctor John himself. But we see how he was unable to worm his way into a position of power within the Proctors. We get to see how the Proctors tracked our group all the way from Mexico, and how they had a massive battle with the Bikers we know, wiping most of them out. But the Bikers we know escaped, and the Proctors have followed them.
Out of both time and options, Nick sneaks away (still very much injured), his plans unclear. However, the Proctors show up, Strand at the helm. He's the spokesperson for the Proctors now, but a wrench is thrown in the plan for battle when he sees Madison and Alycia inside the stadium. Proctor John holds his attack too, realizing his chance for revenge is within his grasp. He then proposes a deal to the Bikers, saying that if given Madison and Co, they'll leave. This, of course, is a lie. The Bikers deliberate, with Cole being the main voice for trading them over. Travis tries everything he can to convince the Bikers to not hand them over, but realizes that being killed either by the Bikers or the Proctors isn't much of an option. Bound and gagged, the Clarks (minus Nick, who Madison fears for) are handed over.
Put on their knees and guns put to their heads, Strand tries to talk John out of it--trying to make him pause and think. But it's no use.
Just as bullets are about to be fired, a massive herd comes out of nowhere! Nick has led them all here, and being careful, he slips through the herd and unties his family. He tells them to do the guts trick, which they do, but for whatever reason, he turns back. As he moves through the herd, careful not to get shot or eaten, he finds Strand fighting for his life. Nick then steps in, helps him with the trick, and leads him to safety--but not before seeing Proctor John fighting the herd. It looks like he's winning; using a row of his soldiers to gun down the horde, until Nick sneaks up behind him and slits his throat. Now leaderless and surrounded, the Proctors and the Bikers are wiped out. Covered in guts and aimless, our crew leaves the stadium.
Weeks later, and after a few more misadventures, Nick goes out hunting. As he does so, he stumbles upon a man dressed like a cowboy, and sitting against a pickup truck: John Dorie. The same exchange happens, where John asks whoever is in the shadows if they would like to join him. Nick reveals himself, and it ends the same way as it did in the show, "So what's your story?"
TLDR: Madison and Co escape Mexico only to join up with a biker gang in an old baseball stadium in Texas. The Proctors return, old rivals of the Bikers, and a massive battle ensues. A group called the Vultures show up as the Bikers leave, and are quickly slaughtered by Madison and Travis. The Proctors come with Strand in tow, and after quick thinking from Nick, the family and Strand escape, while both the Bikers and the Proctors are wiped out by a herd of walkers. Nick then meets a man named John Dorie.
​

Season 5

John Dorie is what Morgan should have been for the Clarks: the exact opposite of what they are. While they're ruthless and cold, he's merciful and warm. His mission is simple: find his wife. And because of Nick's insistence (and Travis' persuasion of Madison), they decide to help him do so. He explains they separated several weeks ago, after meeting at his cabin and living there for the majority of the apocalypse. But he is far from incapable. In fact, he's the best shot of the entire group and anyone they ever come across.
Tensions however, are high. Madison of course doesn't trust John, and hates the influence he seemingly having on her son. She thinks that his kindness is weakness, and fights to keep her control over Nick.
Based on the evidence John gathered, his best guess is that his wife was abducted and taken north, into Colorado. With nowhere else to go, the Clarks travel with John north. Having entered Colorado, John soon catches a trail. He finds evidence of a camp with the same logo as he found before, that of a key. He feels that they're getting closer, and he turns out to be right, as they find a small community of survivors living inside an old motel. He wants to go in and talk, but Madison isn't risking it. Instead, and with much pushback from John, our main crew goes in guns raised.
Using a small herd of walkers Nick gathered, they take out the guards and quickly find the leader of the community. At gunpoint, the man explains that he's part of a network of communities under one woman, Virginia. They're called the Pioneers, and their goal is to make Colorado the beginning of a new United States. Madison, Alycia, and Strand laugh at the idea, but Nick and Travis are more open to it. After stealing supplies, weapons, and a vehicle, our crew moves on to find John's wife. Or so he thinks.
A few days later, our group finds another one of the settlements, an old ski lodge. This time, however, based on both Travis' and John's pleas, they go in as if they're just some survivors. As they are let in, they see that the lodge is heavily armed--a death sentence had they gone in guns blazing. They stay for a while, with Nick, Travis, and John warming up to the idea of a multi-settlement government. John finds out that his wife is at the capital of the settlement, Lawton. Eager to hit the road to see his wife again, he tells the group to get ready to head out. Madison, however, has no such plan. Nick argues they should go with him, but Madison argues that nothing like this could last and that it's likely all a lie. Madison and Strand want to take over the lodge, killing them all if it came to it. Travis is against it, his guilt driving him to try to stop murdering, but Madison's mind is unchanged. Survival at any cost is her plan now, and if a few nobodies have to die for it, so what? Madison is going to keep everyone together, no matter what. So, under the cover of the night, John and Nick sneak off the lodge grounds and leave.
In the morning, Madison sees they're both gone. Enraged, she prepares to go out and immediately find them until a massive snowstorm hits, forcing them to stay inside. For Nick and John, however, a test of will is what the storm becomes. Frostbite and starvation are mere days away, and they seem to be going in circles. Until a search party finds them. They're grabbed and treated as they are taken to the capital settlement. The search party wasn't for them, but for a young girl, but finding the men so close to death stopped the search. At least for now.
Back at the lodge, Madison is planning for a seize of power. People are anxious, and she has enough trust with the guards to grab some guns. But Travis stops her. He talks to her and looks at her as if she's a different person, something that seems to haunt her. They've grown apart, barely showing any physical affection.
At Lawton, Nick and John see that the settlement is large, larger than anything they've come across so far. They have large walls, farms, livestock, freshly constructed buildings, and people. Anxious to get to his wife, John meets with the mastermind behind it all: Virginia. But unlike the show, she's a genuinely kind woman. She really does want the best for people, and after some deliberation, John finally gets to see his wife. She explains that during her own supply run, she ran into the Pioneers needing help. She did, and they invited her to join. She left a note for John, telling him where to find her, but a massive herd forced them to leave early. It's a joyous moment and something that deeply saddens Nick, reminding him of Luciana.
Until he hears a voice, "Nick?" He turns around and sees Luciana standing behind him! They embrace, and she tells some story about how she found these communities. She apologizes for ever leaving him and promises to never do it again. And after this moment, Nick asks her to be his wife. She says yes, and he couldn't be happier.
Two weeks later, Madison, Travis, Alycia, and Strand are escorted to Lawton, where they reunite with Nick. He explains what happened, and in a seemingly hopeful moment, a wedding is held. Nick and Luciana get married, and all the while Madison plots.
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After five or six months, we see how the family has gotten used to this way of life. Nick and Luciana are happy and working together, Strand has become a high-ranking Pioneer, Alycia has become a rather skilled doctor, Travis has settled down with Madison (though they're still very distant), working the fields next to a small cabin, and John and his wife work as rangers. Life is good. It's peaceful. With all the communities working together, it can seem like anything is possible. But Madison isn't happy. She doesn't trust any of it. And neither does Strand. She believes that at any second, a revolt will happen. An enemy group will rise up. She feels the Pioneers are too trusting, too hopeful. She wants to keep her family safe, and she doesn't think Virginia can.
One day, a community-wide meeting is called, where all the heads of the communities will come together to discuss general going-ons and plans for the future. All the heads come to meet in an old courthouse, including Strand. That day, Madison asks Virginia to meet, and she raises her issues: how they are too trusting, and a severe lack of top-down control. Virginia assures her that those things will happen--in time, but not to rush them. Madison asks her if she will ever actually make those changes, and Virginia pauses before saying...no. Madison then pulls a gun and shoots Virginia in the head. As soon as the shot rings out, Strand leaves the main courtroom where all the heads of communities are, locks the doors, and starts a fire. In mere minutes, the entire courthouse is in flames, and everyone inside is dead.
Immediately, there is chaos, as people think it was an attack. Madison steps up, explaining that Virginia was killed, and the fire was started by anarchists. Strand then grabs a random man and drags him up to the stage where Madison stands. After making up some story about the man, she asks the people if the anarchist should live, and there is a resounding and furious flurry of "no's". She pulls out her pistol and executes the man to the horror of Travis, Nick, and John.
At night, Madison meets with John, as he's become a high-ranking ranger. He knows that that man was innocent, but Madison seems to have no remorse. She explains very calmly that he's going to help contain the chaos, or she will kill his wife. To his shock, Madison waits for a response. He finally sputters out that he'll help. She lets him go back home, knowing he'll do whatever she wants.
Then, she goes home to Travis, who's distraught. He knows everything that happened was staged, and that Strand was helping plan it from the beginning. He's enraged, but Madison remains calm, explaining that everything she did was to protect her family. Travis is beyond shocked, exclaiming that everything that was happening was protecting her family. She looks at him, cold as ice, and tells him that he's not her family. He's not blood. Nick and Alycia are all that matter to her. Travis is horrified and heartbroken--too stunned to speak. She walks over to him and explains that if all he is is against her, he's a danger to her family. She then grabs a nearby knife and stabs him in the gut. She looks away from his eyes as he gasps for air, and as she twists the knife deeper into his stomach. She rips the knife out and he collapses on the floor, dying. She watches him suffer, and just like that, both Travis and the Madison we knew, are dead.
TLDR: Madison and Co follow a good-hearted cowboy named John Dorie into Colorado in search of his wife. After a few altercations with this group's settlements, John reunites with his wife and Nick reunites with Luciana. Months later, Madison and Strand enact a plot to seize control of power. Madison kills Virginia, and Strand lights a building aflame with all head of communities inside. Madison then threatens John into working for her, and she kills Travis.
​

Season 6

"Travis was killed by the anarchists." That's the lie that's told. The one spread around. At his funeral, Nick is devastated, barely able to hold it together as he gives a speech. John is silent, suspecting that Madison is the one who killed him. She knows that he knows, but she doesn't care. She cries at the funeral. But just for a moment.
Thanks to John's help, the communities have calmed down. Order has been re-established. Madison and Strand have taken up leadership of the Pioneers, but they quickly ditch the key logos and outfits. The rangers are trained to be merciless--gone are the days of trusting new people. A new rule is established: kill on site. Thanks to this, the communities are stronger than ever. John lives in perpetual fear of Madison, worried that at any moment she'll claim his wife is a member of the Anarchists, and have her killed. In order to avoid this, he becomes a vital tool for Madison, doing anything she says.
Nick is deep in grief, numb to his now wife and the outside world...until Luciana breaks wonderful news: she's pregnant. Nick is shocked, but excited--ready to be the father his dad never was.
In the meantime, Madison uses John to round up people who would stand against her, and after planting evidence and calling them Anarchists, she has them executed. Her family and community is secure. It looks like no one can stand in her way--except one woman: Luciana. Now pregnant and fearful of the dangerous new woman in control of Lawton, she wants to leave with Nick. He argues that they need to stay, it's his mother after all, and that they can't keep running forever. But she sees the danger.
That night, Nick and Alycia and hanging out together when he proudly tells her Luciana is pregnant. Alycia is really happy for him, until Nick tells her that he's decided he's going to leave Lawton with her after she gives birth. At the same time, Madison goes to Nick's home and meets with Luciana. She plays up the whole "sympathetic mother figure" deducing rather quickly that Luciana is pregnant. Luciana then tells her that they'll be leaving soon, much to the dismay of Madison. She soon leaves once Nick returns, not acting as if she knows about the pregnancy and their plans.
The next day John offers to take Nick down to one of their outermost communities, a few days ride. He accepts, feeling on top of the world. At that time, a group of armed Rangers burst into Nick's home, searching the entire place. Luciana is confused, but she is quickly tackled to the ground. Then, they find what they're searching for: the same knife used to kill Travis. Dragged out of her home, she's thrown into a holding cell.
A few hours out from Lawton, John struggles with the immense guilt of something. Nick asks him what's wrong, and he finally explains that Strand told him to take Nick out of town for a few days while something happened. Fearing something really bad is going to happen, Nick races back to Lawton, with the help of John.
The knife is supposedly the one that killed Travis, and Luciana is scheduled for a public execution that same day. At the time of the execution, Luciana is brought up on the gallows, in front of public of view, and Strand gives a speech about order and safety. Madison is absent. Nick reaches the main gates, but is temporarily blocked. Using sheer adrenaline and channeling Travis, he fights off the two guards and races to the center of town to see Luciana, noose around her neck. He screams for them to stop, but with the crank of a lever, the trapdoor falls, and Luciana suffocates to death. Nick can't do anything as he falls over, weeping, saying, "She's pregnant...she's pregnant..." Alycia comes running from the Infirmary, unaware of what's happening. John finally makes it to the town square, and using his crackshot aim, shoots Luciana down. But it's too late. For whatever the reason, she turned fast, and John walks over and quietly puts an end to her reanimated self.
Nick is completely broken now. He lays in a ball on the ground, unable to move. Alycia attempts to comfort him, but he pushes her away. John walks over to him, attempting to apologize or make what he did right, but Nick snaps. Grabbing a knife off of Alycia, he stabs John is the gut, and begins to beat his face in. Alycia tries to stop him, but Nick kicks her away as he takes swing after swing, beating John nearly to death. Nick then stops, grabs John's rifle, and screams for Strand. Strand, still standing on the gallows, attempts to duck as Nick fires at him, hitting him in the shoulder with a bullet. Nicks keeps firing, until his gun clicks empty. He stands, surrounded by Rangers and civilians.
He's locked in a cell, fists bloody and eyes empty. Madison comes to the cell, trying to play innocence, until Nick grabs her by the throat. He squeezes, a fire lit behind his eyes. All the pieces fit together now. Everything. He begins to laugh hysterically, realizing it was his own mother who killed his pregnant wife. "You...you actually thought I would what--just fall back into your own arms? Be your own little "Nicky' again!?" He tightens his grip, but he's too good a man. He can't do it. He releases her, utterly defeated. Madison leaves, telling Strand that he'll come around.
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A long time later, months, years, we're not sure--somehow, Nick is out of the cell. It's wintertime in Colorado, and he's living in the wilderness now, sporting much longer hair and a beard. Using tricks he learned while in Mexico and from Travis, he lives as a nomad. But no matter how far he travels, he's still hunted by the Pioneers.
In a flashback, we see that is was Strand who let Nick out of the cell. Nick just about kills him, but seeing the guilt Strand feels, Nick decides to just leave. He's quiet and stealthy, just stealing one of Travis' jackets and a machete. But before he leaves, he sneaks to Alycia, and pleads with her to come with him. She refuses, deciding to stay with Madison. He's sad, but he doesn't stick around. He climbs over one of the walls, and slips away.
In the present, we follow Nick as he lives in the woods of Colorado. He's almost completely silent, barely even grunting. He dispatches walkers with ease, and because of Travis, he knows how to live purely off the land alone. He's almost unrecognizable. One day, while cooking a rabbit, two Pioneers come across him on horseback. They dismount, holding him up at gunpoint, and tell him that he's going to return to Lawton with them. He doesn't speak as he pulls out his machete and cleaves one of the Pioneers' arms off. The man screams in agony as Nick impales the other one mercilessly. He kills the second man, then turns and grabs the other man's rifle. He checks its ammo, slings it across his back, and begins to raise his machete at the first Pioneer--before the man begins to weep. He begins blubbering about his wife, how they have a child on the way. Nick lowers his blade, wipes the blood on his sleeve, and sheathes it. The Pioneer begs for bandage, medicine, anything, but Nick just leaves, saying, "Tell her to stop coming after me."
The problem for Nick is that, essentially, he's trapped. Because of the thirteen-community network Madison now controls, he's surrounded, on all sides, by people attempting to capture him. It miles of land, sure, but not something easily escaped. So he's done what little he can--evade the larger search parties, and deal with the smaller pairs of rangers he encounters.
His new plan is to head farther north, hopefully into Wyoming or Montana. So for an episode he heads north, evading capture.
At the same time, Madison continues to rule the communities with an iron fist. But there's a problem: people have been disappearing from within the communities. Alicia has matured over this time, taking up a leadership position under her mother. She's an advocate for letting Nick go, but Madison can't. Strand still works for her, though he has become more brazen after his secret releasing of Nick. Madison suspects it was him who did it, but she waits to act. John has become the head of tracking Nick down, but he does his job in a way that slows down the process.
Madison calls him in for a meeting, and explains that his new mission will be discovering where her citizens are going. Thankful to be off of Nick, he accepts.
Nick makes his way to the furthermost community after days of travel, called "The Lanes". Sneaking past guards and the occasional walker, he makes it to Colorado border, and stops. He feels horribly guilty for leaving his sister with his mother, and he can't seem to shake the feeling. Then, he sees something odd: a small group of civilians sneaking out of the Lanes. He watches them, then decides to follow. After traveling deeper into the woods than he's gone before, he stumbles upon the civilians destination: The Copse.
An idyllic home deep in the Colorado woods, Nick is greeted by an old eccentric man: Teddy. Teddy is kind and wise, offering to take Nick's weapons, as he won't need them there. Nick cautiously obliges, and after a few days, falls in love with the place. Everyone who's fled from the communities has come here, and it's perfect. Until John finds it.
With six rangers vs an entire commune, Nick prepares for battle. But Teddy tells him to stop, and to let happen what needs to happen. Confused by his order, he steps down. John sees the place, and realizes that this is what the communities can be. He decides not to tell Madison about the commune, and he returns to his wife, and they leave together in secret.
After more drama and death, Madison stops all her rangers from looking for Nick, and switches the mission to finding this rumored commune. Nick catches wind of this, and warns Teddy that this is coming. Teddy refuses to arm, but Nick circumvents this by talking to the people of the commune. He finally steps into a position of leadership, rallying the citizens into protecting what they have. The citizens come together and form a fighting force, right as the first Rangers arrive.
It's a bloody battle, but the Rangers are defeated. Nick realizes that the people cannot defeat 13 communities, but they can convert them. After more fights, persuading, and uprising, nearly half of all the communities have rallied under Nick against Madison and her army.
Eager to get out from under her thumb of oppression, people from within Lawton begin to revolt. Madison, of course, shuts this down--brutally beating anyone who stands against her. Alicia sees now that her mother is truly gone, and begins to communicate with Nick, planning a final stand.
After weeks of fighting and plotting, it all comes to a head. All of Nick's forces, now seven communities, rally together to charge, all at once, to Madison's six community army stationed at Lawton. Strand, however, attempts to sabotage Madison's army by destroying their ammo reserves. He's caught, tortured for his involvement in the civil war, and in one final act of brutality by Madison, beheaded in view of both her own and Nick's armies.
On this, both sides clash, resulting in a massive firefight. Hundreds are killed between the two groups, and in the end, Lawton is in flames and Nick is within Madison's home. They fight, and it's brutal and hard to watch as we see our once mother and son duo trade blows. Nick finally gets the upper hand, and a mortally wounded Madison makes one last remark, "I kept you and Alicia safe. I did that no matter what. I tried to keep us all together..." Nick shakes his head. "You tore us apart Mom. I love you, even after what you did to us. To me. But this can't go on."
Madison hears these words, and sheds a tear. Nick looks away as Madison Clark dies. Nick leaves the house, teary-eyed, and explains what happened to the people. The war is ended. The Communities are reunited.
A few weeks later, Nick and Alicia share one last moment together--embracing at Lawton's gates. Alicia has become the leader of these communities, and peace has now truly been established. But Nick can't stay. The memories here haunt him. He's decided to leave. Go north. He shares one last goodbye to everyone he's met over the past years, and he departs, once again alone and on the road.
TLDR: After a brutal betrayal by Madison, Nick leaves Lawton. After a long time spent in the woods, he finds a new home: a peaceful commune. but realizing his mother will never stop searching for him, he rallies together the people of the commune and half of all the others. After betrayals, beheadings, and losses. The war is ended, and peace returns to the Colorado Communities. Nick decides to leave, and he's once again alone on the road.
THE END
I know that this was a long read, and I appreciate all of those who did. A few parts need work, but overall, this is a very rough draft for how I would have handled Fear.
Thanks to AI, attached are some admittedly rough designs for what our characters could have looked like in the later seasons:
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Nick in season 6.
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Nick on the road.
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Alicia in Colorado.
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An older Travis and Madison in one of the Pioneer's communities.
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John Dorie at a snowy Lawton.

[Flaired funny because in the moment and in hindsight I found it all quite amusing]
Context: I was very thankfully raised by my dad and mum; egg donor broke off with my dad when I was a kid because my dad couldn't and wouldn't wait on her beck and call like her dad did for her mum (also a raging narcissist, far less covert and subtle about it), though not before trying to kill him in front of me (courts gave her custody for some dumbarse reason because family courts turn of the millennium were possibly the stupidest places on Earth). Egg donor has had an insane run of luck, never charged with attempted murder, dad paid out $200k for complete custody to her, mum fought to rekindle a relationship between her and I which was successful. She still managed to fumble the bag and get me to go NC.
I went NC with my egg donor after my wedding. Due to not inviting her sister to our wedding ceremony that we said was only for our parents, grandparents, and siblings so as to have the small intimate ceremony we wanted (with a larger celebration immediately following the ceremony for everyone), she lost it and played every emotional manipulation card in the book, to the point where she was nearly uninvited. In the end, my wife and I decided to cut her off after that. She'd been hurt by narcissists before and helped me to learn and protect myself.
This of course wasn't received well but recently things have gone very quiet. I have a very disabled half brother who is with her and is basically perpetual supply. Her ex-partner and father of half-brother reached out to me inviting me to catch up with him and half-brother. I love my half-brother, although as we didn't grow up together, I can't say my bond with him feels that strong. She treats her ex horribly and uses bro as leverage.
The invite seemed innocuous enough, but was dripping with the subtle guilt tripping language that donor would use, which led my wife and I to conclude that she sent it using his phone. I politely declined (I had other plans already) and it went no further, but I felt it was very devious. I knew for certain if I went, she'd have turned up, forcing me to either go along with contact or walk away and risk a public scene in a place where there'd definitely be people who know me.
I'm not looking forward to further attempts. She knows where we live and work.

https://i.imgur.com/baY6xJx.jpg
NC, home built roughly 1983. Was crawling around in the crawl space investigating plumbing and came across this vent thing. There isn't insulation probably because it got taken down by a plumber doing some work just nearby.
Air (probably conditioned) was blowing out of it.
There are no air ducts going near it. Nothing above it, I think it the supply ductwork might exist between the walls. No floor vents near it on the floor above it, closest one is probably 10-15 feet away on the house wall. I think it is either near the stairs or under a closet. The rest of the home duct work is very obvious suspended lines, so I don't have anything between the floor boards.
No disconnected ducts on the ground nearby.
My crawl isn't sealed, only has a vapor barrier.
Any clue?

I've been NC with both my parents sense I was pregnat and my baby is now 2 months old. My mom still says I'm a "bad kid" and continues to shame me for my bpd misdiagnosis that turned out to be cptsd. He swears that I had a good childhood and that I hate my mom for no reason. As if she's abusive to him, but not me.
I want him to understand why I dont want him around. I want him to understand that it's HIS fault I didn't get an education past 3rd grade. I want him to know about the severe turama I went through after he kicked me out.
But it seems like every time I try to explain it always goes back to what an angry kid I was, or how embarrassing I behaved, and he only isolated me from society because I was out of control and couldn't be trusted.
I know he at least has a little bit of empathy unlike my mom which is why I want to make him feel bad about it.
I want to know that I was raped and living in motels and almost murdered while my parents and siblings were going on fancy vacations. It's not fair...

Introduction
As a big guy myself, standing at 6’4” with a size 13 shoe, I often wonder about what it would actually take for someone like me to disappear. I’m the type or person who friends use as a marker to find their way through a crowd, and I’m almost instantly recognizable walking down the street.
That being said, there is one place where I could almost certainly disappear without a trace: the wilderness. I think many underestimate just how easy it is to go missing in the wilderness, even a rather small wilderness. A single wrong turn or a mistaken landmark can spell doom for even seasoned woodland travelers.
Honestly, I attribute this underestimation to the popularity of “Missing 411” cases. Many assume that those who went missing in heavily wooded areas or national parks must have disappeared as a result of something supernatural or conspiratorial, simply because they can’t accept just how easily and remorselessly nature can gobble us up.
If I suddenly decided to go missing within society, I think I’d be found in no time. But if I went missing in the wilderness, it’s always possible that I would never be found, even if my body came to rest nearby well-traveled thoroughfares.
I bring all this up because I think much the same for former American professional basketball player Rico Harris, who is even more recognizable than myself. Harris is a Black male, who stands at 6’9” tall, weighs 300 lbs., and has distinctive tattoos, such as one that reads “BALLIN IV LIFE” across his left forearm. If he’s alive, he’s almost certainly worked very hard to keep his presence secret, both from his family and from law enforcement.
Police investigators have suggested that Harris simply walked away from the scene of his disappearance, got in a car, and headed somewhere to start a new life. While there are certainly factors that point to this being a logical possibility, at least in terms of where Harris was in his life mentally and emotionally, I think that the lack of sightings of an individual that matches his description in the almost nine years since he went missing makes it far more likely that Rico Harris’ body is lying somewhere in the wilderness near where he vanished and that it simply hasn’t been located by anyone.
I feel that police assertions that Harris may have simply left the scene to start a new life are wishful thinking, designed to provide the family with false hope and perhaps prevent law enforcement from having to conduct further searches to recover Harris’ remains. Regardless of your opinion on the case, let’s review what we do know so that we can make an educated guess on what we don’t.
Rico Harris’ Life and Struggles
Rico Harris’ life followed a tragic path tread by far too many young, talented athletes. He had the physical talent to play in the NBA but none of the mental or emotional intelligence and maturity to deal with such instant stardom.
Harris seemed to maintain a sort of love/hate relationship with the game of basketball and had actually taken a break from it before returning for his final two years at Temple City High School, where he quickly became a local star, with scouts comparing his play style to that of NBA player Lamar Odom.
Harris was soon recognized as one of the nation’s top 100 prospects and received scholarship offers from such blue-blood basketball programs as Connecticut, Kentucky, and UCLA. Ultimately, however, Harris would commit to Arizona State. He would never play a game there.
He wasn’t eligible to play during his freshman year but stayed on campus, away from family and other positive role models in his life. He struggled academically and socially before being accused of unlawful imprisonment and sexual assault by two young women on campus.
These women stated that Harris and two of his other teammates had prevented them from leaving and forced them to perform sex acts on them. However, after further investigation, police dismissed the charges against Harris and his teammates after noting discrepancies in the girls’ stories. Nonetheless, the Arizona State basketball team had seen and heard enough to sit Harris for his upcoming sophomore season.
Deciding that he needed to pursue his basketball career elsewhere, Harris transferred to Los Angeles Community College where, surrounded by inferior talent, he began to shine once again and again became a star, attracting NBA scouts to games who still saw potential in the young phenom.
After the season, Harris planned to transfer to Rhode Island. However, a failed class prevented his transfer from going through, and he chose to return to LACC for a second season. An offer from Rhode Island remained on the table next year, but Harris shocked everyone by instead transferring to Cal State Northridge, stating to one confidante that he believed that the LACC coach was merely trying to use him to help out his friend, who was the Rhode Island head coach.
Instead, he wanted to remain closer to home and work with a coach he trusted. Harris sadly had a long history of rejecting and mistrusting men who tried to play a fatherly role in his life, likely an issue stemming from his own broken relationship with his father, who could quickly turn from friendly to violent and who his mother eventually moved away from with the children to escape.
Eventually, Harris would also be suspended by Northridge as well, which officially brought about an end to his collegiate career. Harris spoke out about feeling pressured by everyone around him; this pressure led him to increasingly turn to drugs and alcohol, which likely further hampered his performance on the court.
In the 1999 NBA Draft, no team decided to take a risk on Harris, leaving him to go to the now defunct International Basketball League. In 2000, Harris joined the Harlem Globetrotters, and it felt like his big break. Their fun-loving antics seemed like a great fit for his skills and talents.
Unfortunately, only about a month after joining the Globetrotters, Harris was driving with his girlfriend in South Los Angeles, when he got into a dispute with several individuals. He got out of the car to confront them when someone cracked him in the back of the head with a baseball bat.
Though Harris recovered from the wound, his balance never fully returned, and he continued to suffer from frequent intense headaches. Harris’ basketball career was, sadly, over.
Harris Spirals, Then Seemingly Recovers
Harris felt completely rudderless. He did not know what to do with his life now that his basketball career was over. His alcohol addiction worsened, and he began to develop dependencies on heroin, methamphetamine, and crack.
Harris was arrested over one hundred times, most often for public intoxication, and he was clearly struggling. His lowest moment came in 2007, when he overdosed on prescription medication and nearly died.
After a lengthy rehabilitation period with the Salvation Army in downtown Los Angeles. Afterwards, he began working in security, a role that he seemed ideally suited for and seemed to enjoy well enough.
In 2012, he began dating Jennifer Song, an insurance broker from Seattle that he met while working a security detail. In September 2014, Harris abandoned his apartment in Los Angeles, intending to move in with Song full-time up in Seattle.
Though Song reported that they had a good relationship, many of Harris’ friends and relatives saw quite a bit of tension in their relationship leading up to Harris’ disappearance. Based on Harris’ history, it seems likely that some of this tension was connected to his living away from home, which had always caused problems in the past.
But despite this perceived tension, Harris seemed to have truly turned his life around, with his addictions in the rearview mirror, when he suddenly went missing on October 10, 2014.
Rico Harris Vanishes
On October 9, 2014, Harris visited his family home with the goal of completing his move in with Song. His visit was brief. He apparently purchased a new phone for his younger brother, which shows that his financial struggles likely were not at the forefront of his mind.
He also spoke with his mother. Song told police that she thought Harris was seeking closure related to some difficult childhood events. His mother later stated that she did not feel that he got what he was looking for.
Harris’ close friend David Lara had spoken to Harris on his trip down to Southern California and reported that Harris seemed optimistic and was looking forward to marrying and starting a family with Song. Little is known, however, about Harris’ mood after visiting with his family.
Harris began his drive back up to Seattle, heading north on Interstate 5, stopping for gas in Lodi before continuing up north of Sacramento. There, about 10:45 am on the morning of October 10, Harris decided to get some rest, convinced by Song’s urging since had now been awake for 36 straight hours. He left Song a voice message, telling her that he was going “up into the mountains to rest.”
I’ve always found this phrasing particularly odd. I’ve heard people say they’re figuratively going “into the mountains” to find a place to pull over or find a motel, but the full “up into the mountains” has always struck me as being very literal, and perhaps a sign that Harris was already suffering through a bit of a mental breakdown before officially stopping for the day.
Regardless of intention, at 11:15 am, Harris turned off his phone. He has not been officially seen, heard from, or positively identified since.
The Search for Rico Harris
Friends and family initially assumed that Harris would just turn up. It wasn’t unusual for him to disappear for a couple days at a time. However, by October 14th, after missing an interview he had been excited for in Seattle, Harris was finally reported missing.
Later that day, Yolo County police located Harris’ vehicle, seemingly abandoned in a county park parking lot near Cache Creek. The inside of the car was a mess. It was also out of fuel and had a dead battery.
A mile south of Harris’ car they found his backpack. Inside was his cell phone, which was dead but otherwise seemed fine.
There were also two plastic bottles, one filled with a solution that seemed to be hard liquor mixed with an energy drink. The other was empty but smelled strongly of liquor. Sources seem to disagree on whether the bottles were found in his car or his backpack. Regardless of where they were found, it is clear that Harris had either relapsed or had been successfully hiding his addiction as of late.
Police combed Cache Creek Canyon without success. They used infrared imaging from planes, perused the area on foot and on ATVs, and brought out tracking and cadaver dogs. There was no sign of Harris, and nobody could imagine how such a large man had simply vanished.
Several sightings were reported of a man who matched Harris’ description, and to be quite frank, I can’t imagine there were that many men who could be mistaken for Harris in the area at that time. He was spotted walking along the side of the road and sitting on a guardrail, looking at the creek. These sightings took place on October 10 and 11, shortly after Harris’ last known contact with family and friends.
Police found selfies on Harris’ phone showing him posing joyfully beside a sign welcoming him to Yolo County; perhaps he was amused by the name, with YOLO being common parlance (particularly at the time he went missing) for “You only live once.”
There was also an apparently accidental video that showed Harris rifling through his glove box, singing along to his music and seemingly in good spirits despite his somewhat erratic behavior.
Had Harris’ story ended here, it would have still been compelling, but it went further. On October 18, a truck driver reported seeing a man who matched Harris’ description walking near the parking lot where his Nissan had been left.
Imprints were later found in the parking lot that were not defined enough to have a cast made. However, they were apparently not consistent with animal prints and were large enough that they could very well have come from a size 18 shoe. As someone who wears a size 13, I can tell you that that’s a huge footprint and not something that could be left by just anyone. The shoeprints were allegedly leading away from the parking lot.
No legitimate sightings of Harris have been reported since.
Analysis of Harris’ Disappearance
Let’s begin by looking at the official police narrative of Rico Harris’ disappearance. Law enforcement has asserted that there is no evidence of foul play in Harris’ disappearance. I tend to agree with this assessment. By all accounts, Harris came to Yolo County alone, and there were no signs of a struggle surrounding his disappearance.
Furthermore, if you find the eyewitness testimony of those who allegedly saw him reliable, as I do given his unique stature, he was never spotted with anyone else.
Where I differ from law enforcement is in my belief about what happened to Rico Harris and his intent throughout the whole process. Police believe that Harris only arrived in Yolo County by accident, that he took a wrong turn and ended up out there.
I’m not sure he did. He told Song that he planned to go “up into the mountains.” Perhaps this is what he meant; perhaps something within him led him to stray from his established path, perhaps because he was having a mental breakdown or for spiritual reasons or simply because he felt like he needed a place off the beaten path to rest.
I think it’s possible that he took a wrong turn and got lost, but neither his selfies nor his communications with Song (where he mentioned nothing about being lost) nor his actions thereafter really suggest this.
Next up, police don’t seem to have any kind of theory, at least publicly, as to what happened in the days between Harris’ initial disappearance and his return to the parking lot on October 18th. I doubt he was in town anywhere nearby, since local law enforcement was actively working to ensure that locals knew they were looking for Harris. Despite this, there are no reports of him in town, despite his size which would have immediately set him apart.
I theorize that Harris was likely out in the woods during this time. If he had relapsed on alcohol, it is not beyond reason that he may have had access to other drugs as well. Perhaps Harris turned this incident into an unexpected retreat. Detectives say that Harris looked like “a free man” in the videos found of him. Perhaps this inspired him to go into nature, even with or without the influence of drugs and alcohol.
So why did Harris not return for eight full days? Maybe this is when he ran out of drugs. Maybe he had become lost and only found his way back by that point. Perhaps he had finally had a reality check and decided that it was time to return to his life.
Regardless, I do believe that Harris returned to the parking lot. The shoeprints along with the sighting are enough to make me feel that this was legitimate. After this, police suggest that Harris either went into the woods or into town. One detective goes so far as to suggest that, “We have no sightings, so he probably got a ride.”
This is where I strongly disagree with law enforcement. I don’t think that Rico Harris left to start another life. He seemed to struggle mightily with being far from home and family, and I can’t imagine he would run away, then spend almost nine years without so much as briefly contacting a family member or friend.
And to return to the subject at the beginning of this piece, I don’t mean to suggest that it would be completely impossible for Harris to vanish into a new life, but his physical circumstances would make that especially difficult. I think that it would take a whole lot of work for Harris to disappear into another life fully, and I just don’t think the evidence points to him either being at that point or being willing to commit himself to so difficult a project.
Personally, I find it far more likely that Harris wandered back into the woods, dejected to find his car missing, and either committed suicide or accidentally died, having seen his missing vehicle as the final proof that he wasn’t meant to return to ordinary life.
Looking at photographs of Cache Creek Canyon, I’m honestly surprised this is not brought up more often. Police often speak as if Harris went missing in a small city park and that they’d certainly find him if he was there.
I’m just not so sure. Cache Creek Canyon looks like it contains plenty of dense foliage. I feel like a body, even one the size of Rico Harris’s, could easily evade detection, particularly if located far from the main trails.
Conclusion
Unlike many cases I cover on here, where the victim has been missing for far too long to realistically still be alive, Rico Harris has been missing for less than a decade. If he did indeed run away, as the police seem ready to accept, he could very well be alive.
If you know a 6’9”, 300 lbs. Black man with a “BALLIN IV LIFE” tattoo and a mysterious past, please consider contacting Yolo County law enforcement. Heck, if you are Rico, consider contacting them yourself. I don’t know anything about the demons of your past, but I do know that there are people who love you and who deserve to know that you’re okay.
However, I find it far more likely that Rico is still out there somewhere near Cache Creek Canyon, his tale sadly having come to an end in a corner of the park that nobody’s checked yet. Maybe he’ll stay there forever, unfound and unburied.
This is truly a case where I just don’t know what to think. I don’t understand why law enforcement’s active theory, or at least publicly promoted theory, is that he hitched a ride and drove away. It just doesn’t add up to me, and I can’t help but wonder if they have additional reasons for thinking this that they haven’t shared with the public.
Nonetheless, I hope we can find Harris one way or another, so that his family have can closure if nothing else. These days, they sit around wondering what happened to him, and wondering if one word, one phrase, one answer could have changed things entirely.
Sources
https://www.latimes.com/sports/sportsnow/la-sp-missing-basketball-player-20190316-story.html
https://www.vizaca.com/rico-harris-missing/
https://allthatsinteresting.com/rico-harris
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rico\_Harris