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Honourable members, I come to you today with a question.
What the hell do I study? Some background:
I am 25 and run my own small business which is keeping me afloat but at some point, I should study and get the coveted piece of paper that everyone in my life is bugging me to get. I understand why I should get a degree but I am struggling to figure out what the hell to do with myself.
I really really really disliked school and the whole way information was taught to me but I did well at the subjects I liked. Im pretty hyperactive and need physical stimuli to keep my focus and engage with a subject (you can imagine how that went down in most classrooms). I went to Vega for a semester after a gap year of working and tried out copywriting which really sucked and I dropped out. Since then I worked jobs I could get before starting my business.
Currently, I do a lot of graphic design during work, DJing and hosting events and producing music.
I have thought about pursuing the music path quite often cause I have been a musician since I was like 8 or 9, but the last thing I want to do is land ass first in a general first-year course doing like 6 other subjects I dislike before I can do what I want to do. Having to sit and be taught things I have learnt 10 years ago is a quick way for me to lose interest in a class and put in the bare minimum. I worry that I will grow to hate it before I can even get into the meat and potatoes of what I want to actually do.
So do I go for the Production/Music degree, Sound Engineering (the thing I want to do the least), sound design, graphic design or even broadcast? Above that what Uni is right for me?
Does anyone else have experience with not having a clue what you should do?
Any tips, advice or memes are greatly appreciated <3

I’m at my wits end. I don’t know why I feel the need to chronicle but I feel like it’s been built up and I’m so frustrated and at my wits end I need to somehow write this all out. Maybe once it’s in text it’ll make more sense to me? Now that I wrote it out im realizing this is the longest rant I’ve ever written and it’s pretty stream of consciousness. I’ll summarize at the bottom for ease because you definitely don’t need to read my scattered frustrated tirade!
We’ve only been together 3 years. It started with multiple times a day, which I know is not sustainable and I did not expect to last after puppydog stage and that was FINE. After about 2 months it dropped to a couple times a month, with a little vibe action on the side or mutual parallel play, also very satisfying and fun and felt like a great settled-in normal. Things were fun, experimental, and we bought lots of fun toys and gear to try out and explore! It was going great and we were creating a life and home together and delving into left field sexually and it was working GREAT! From my perspective and according to all conversations (which felt honest and open the whole time) we were having fun and always excited for new things!
After the first 10 or so months, one day little did I know was the last time. Suddenly he’s “too tired” or “not in the mood”. We were on opposite shifts but every weekend I fucked up MY schedule to be on his. I was up 36 hours straight or slept 4-5 hours over 3 days so we could spend time together. He never stayed up late or got up early… how the fuck is he “too tired”? I was ready to go all the time and it was always a no. After a full day of dirty talk and expectation I’m getting all done up in something kinky and crawling into bed ready to realize a days worth of conversation and innuendo and “ahhhhh well maybe not tonight”. You can only shamefully shed a strappy skintight bodysuit so many times and stuff it back in the drawer embarrassed before you just stop trying.
But then when I try initiating in a baggy T-shirt and briefs I “never dress up” and “sometimes guys need to be courted too!”. So I dial up the dirty talk, I send little peeks from the stall at work, I flirt by text, send sexy memes. I take him out, buy him dinner and random “just cuz I love you!” Gifts. I flirt and grope and hint and it’s always met enthusiastically and positively when it’s just talk, but it goes from “let’s go shower! I’ll suck your dick!” met with grins and nods, to “hey can you move I need to wash my hair… ok all done here’s your towel”.
Multiple MULTIPLE discussions of “well work is really hard right now” or “I’m just tired” “I just haven’t been in the mood” etc. If I directly ask it’s “well I’m not in the mood but please don’t go look for sex elsewhere”
A year and a half. We had sex once last summer out of the blue. Just trying to sleep and I had hands on me and I was so excited. I don’t know what I did and that was awesome!….and next morning back to the same. We went on an extravagant vacation in December. Lots of alone time, beautiful places. We had sex once, out of the blue, so drunk I don’t know if he remembers and I hardly do. And we got home and back to the same. I beg and flirt and ask and I get “well I’m not in the mood but please don’t go look for sex elsewhere”.
Dressing up, making an effort, rejected over and over. Stop dressing up, bring up my frustrations and it’s “try dressing up and flirting more im just not in the mood TODAY”. Always that unspoken hope of maybe tomorrow? Until tomorrow I get “well I’m not in the mood but please don’t go look for sex elsewhere”.
Then in January I suffered a significant spinal injury. For the last 6 months I could hardly walk, constantly in pain. I basically just did physical therapy, slept, and suffered. And it became “I’m so sorry we can’t have sex, but with your injury I would never be able to without hurting you!”. Which was true. I couldn’t think about sex when I needed all my energy and focus to walk across the room, and even then I was in blinding pain.
During my worst pain and nerve impairment in my lower body he was so supportive! We had consistent eager sexual conversation, constant encouragement and support for masturbation because it was all I could handle. I really felt that once I healed we’d be back on track.
Then 3 weeks ago I finally hit a milestone in recovery. Thanks to the most recent treatment I have full feeling below the waist, and full mobility. I can work out, walk, lift, jog!! Everything seems perfect! My body is back! During those 5 months I gained about 10lbs because of the immobility. I’ve always been very fit, almost no jiggle and work a very physically strenuous job so I had no issues with staying trim and small. Im tall so 10lbs on my frame filled out my hips a little, a little more cellulite but no rolls, no belly, no face changes. I cannot honestly believe my body changed so significantly it’s no longer attractive and he still insists he can’t even tell. Tells me I’m still just as attractive and my body is perfect, but I touch him and it’s like I’m a hideous beluga from hell. Chaste kisses and quickly flipping to face the other way.
Verbally he seems so proud of me, so interested and so flirty ALL THE TIME, but we climb into bed and it’s “Goodnight!” Quick flip, lamp off, snoring.
The worst part is my worst day was the time we finally had sex again. Once again, out of nowhere lusty kisses, sex, everything I’ve always liked. All the details with a cherry on top! I don’t know what I did.
Now a couple weeks go by and it’s chaste closed mouth pecks, “goodnight” quick flip away, lamp off, goodnight, “too tired”.
I express how I’m finally back in my body and after so long I finally have my libido back and how amazing, exciting and wonderful this is. Every time the conversation goes “well I’m not in the mood but please don’t go look for sex elsewhere”.
How does someone with the libido I saw for those first 10 months just turn it off for YEARS? I’m struggling and he says he’s fine just whacking it out. That’s all he wants or needs. He’s not straying, we’re pretty tightly scheduled, we have shared GPS, we’re in touch pretty much all day every day. He’s not getting it elsewhere, but for me this level is not sustainable or survivable.
I always thought a DB was the sign of a relationship in decline but outside of sex our relationship is so strong and open and developing into the life I want… Except I need the physical connection like I need to breath and I’m fucking suffocating. I can’t even put myself in a headspace where you’d live like this by choice, so I simply cannot understand how this can seem ok.
TL;DR: 10 months of our 3 years was an active experimental sex life. And then like a flip of a switch one day he’s always too tired, or not on the mood. Verbally always eager, complementary, and excited for sex, but it almost never actually happens. In the last 2 years I can remember having sex 3 times, all out of the blue, no explanation or attempt on my part it just happened. But come morning we’re back to chaste kisses that get broken off if I try to turn them into anything.
I got injured and couldn’t have sex, which in retrospect seems like it was the best thing ever for him because I stopped asking. Once I healed and expressed my return to HL, I feel like I got one night of fun and now it feels like the expectation is we return to no-sex status quo.
Despite every other aspect of our relationship blooming and becoming better over time, the bedroom is dead as doornails and I feel I can’t get past it.

I am seeking advice from anyone who can relate in any way, but mostly need to vent because this stuff actually lays heavy on me.
So, I (28f) have 2 siblings. My older sister (36), and younger brother (26). My parents have been together since they were 17. However their relationship/marriage has been anything but exemplary. My dad has always been very physically abusive towards my mother. I lived in one of those households where everyone feared my dad. Given my sister is 8 years older than I am, she witnessed and experienced way more in my home than I ever did in those short years before I was born. I have memories of seeing my dad beating my mom and sister on numerous occasions and for any reason. Sometimes it felt like he didn’t even need a reason. However, things in my household worked like a slinky going down stairs sometimes; where my dad would hurt my mom, my mom would in turn become offensive towards my sister and she turned around and was slightly abusive towards me. I was pretty depressed from an early age. For a period of time when I was small I truly felt like my family didn’t love me and I would often pretend to run away. My family found it funny at the time (I was probably about 5 or 6 when I felt this the most). My sis ended up leaving the house at 18, which was somewhat of a relief for me because she was always picking on me. A whole lot has changed since I was little. My dad is still a grouch, but he hasn’t hit my mom or anyone else since I was about 18. He grew up in a family that cusses a whole lot, and he remains that way to this day. But compared to all the physical stuff, words are just words at my parents house now. I’m sure anyone in that house would prefer to tolerate verbal abuse over anything else we have lived through on any given day.
It wasn’t until I was about 16 that my sister started showing more interest in building a closer relationship with me. Despite the way she used to treat me, it felt nice to finally have a good relationship with her. So we became close. She would let me in on the family secrets and gossip, and we would talk about our lives growing up. Eventually I brought up what she put me through as a kid in a conversation and she apologized. She also told me she had gone through the same type of conversation with my parents, where she confronted them for the way she was brought up. From what I gathered, there were lots of tears and apologies from both my parents.
Her family started growing pretty rapidly around that time, and as a single aunt I absolutely adored her children. She ended up moving to a neighboring city (about a 30 min drive), and it became slightly harder to visit her because of the distance. I basically went from being at her house every week- because she was about a 7 min walking distance away- to only being able to go over about once every 3 or 4 months due to the fact that our schedules hardly ever line up now. Sadly, I feel like we aren’t very close anymore.
Now to update you on more recent years; my sister now has 3 kids (16, 8, and 6). My younger brother has two kids (4 and 1), and I also have two kiddos (5 and 1). My brother- being 2 years younger- has always had the closest bond with me. We did everything together growing up, and now that we have kids all relatively close in age, we hangout about once a week or are in constant communication (we communicate through meme sharing on IG). Lol. My brother and I have a pretty close relationship with my mom. When we get together its nice. We have become a little tight knit family and help each other out whenever we need it. My dad and my sister have sort of decided to isolate themselves from the rest of the family though. My sis is very much “the black sheep” of our family, and my dad would rather just be alone. Speaking to him feels slightly awkward as he doesn’t really initiate conversation or express any interest in us. I feel like he might even be depressed, but because he has never really shown any true love for his family, none of us really bother to check up on him much. Still, I actually feel a little guilty for that too.
Things haven’t really started to bother me about my family until recently. Almost two years ago I got pregnant with my second child. Then a few months later we found out my brother was also expecting a child with his wife. Everyone was excited and of course we shared this news with our older sister, and she seemed happy for us when we announced it to her. However, she was a complete no show for both of our baby showers with zero explanations. We tried not to feel sour about it even though we knew for a fact she was off from work on those exact days. Then fast forward to this past winter. I got married. The venue we had chosen was coincidentally down the street from her house, literally like a 2 minute drive. However, she only stayed at the event long enough for me to see that she was present and she just upped and left with her whole family almost right after the whole bouquet toss thing. According to my brother who was sitting at the same table as her and her family, she left without even saying a word. I also wanted to mention how my father was nicely planted on a chair throughout most of the reception, and didn’t talk to anyone at all. He kinda just stared off into space or was fidgeting with a napkin on the table every time I caught a glimpse of him. I don’t know if I’m making it a bigger deal than it really was, but overall it was hard to not be a bit upset at them. I had a blast at my wedding regardless of this. I sure as heck wasn’t about to allow that from ruining what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life.
Then, after that it has just been nothing but no shows for the most part from both my sister and my Father. - My kids’ bday celebration held earlier this year; both didn’t show. - Easter family gathering; again. Both of them didn’t show. - My brother and his daughter’s bday celebration; Our dad finally showed. Sister did not.
At this point, my brother is fed up of trying to include our sister or our father in anything. Both have shown that they clearly don’t want to be involved in anything we do as a family. Even when it comes to doing something as simple as texting them just to know how they are… if someone else from the family doesn’t initiate the text, we will literally never hear from either of them. However, the only reason I keep insisting that we shouldn’t stop inviting her is because her children love spending time with us and all their little cousins. I have literally heard all of them begging their mom to bring them over to spend time with us. Not to mention that I have a pretty close relationship with my teenage niece (She kinda sees me as her ‘cool auntie’ and closest family member).
Should I just let my sister be? Should I keep pushing this idea that we could all one day become one big happy family? Like, it literally breaks my heart to think about our children not growing up around each other. The very few times that we have gotten together as a big family, it was so awesome. Everyone was so happy. I think?
I really don’t know what to think of all this. Any thoughts or advice on what to do would be nice. Sorry if this became very long to read or hard to follow. I just feel so strongly about my family and my thoughts about them are so jumbled.

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I am seeking advice from anyone who can relate in any way, but mostly need to vent because this stuff actually lays heavy on me.
So, I (28f) have 2 siblings. My older sister (36), and younger brother (26). My parents have been together since they were 17. However their relationship/marriage has been anything but exemplary. My dad has always been very physically abusive towards my mother. I lived in one of those households where everyone feared my dad. Given my sister is 8 years older than I am, she witnessed and experienced way more in my home than I ever did in those short years before I was born. I have memories of seeing my dad beating my mom and sister on numerous occasions and for any reason. Sometimes it felt like he didn’t even need a reason. However, things in my household worked like a slinky going down stairs sometimes; where my dad would hurt my mom, my mom would in turn become offensive towards my sister and she turned around and was slightly abusive towards me. I was pretty depressed from an early age. For a period of time when I was small I truly felt like my family didn’t love me and I would often pretend to run away. My family found it funny at the time (I was probably about 5 or 6 when I felt this the most). My sis ended up leaving the house at 18, which was somewhat of a relief for me because she was always picking on me. A whole lot has changed since I was little. My dad is still a grouch, but he hasn’t hit my mom or anyone else since I was about 18. He grew up in a family that cusses a whole lot, and he remains that way to this day. But compared to all the physical stuff, words are just words at my parents house now. I’m sure anyone in that house would prefer to tolerate verbal abuse over anything else we have lived through on any given day.
It wasn’t until I was about 16 that my sister started showing more interest in building a closer relationship with me. Despite the way she used to treat me, it felt nice to finally have a good relationship with her. So we became close. She would let me in on the family secrets and gossip, and we would talk about our lives growing up. Eventually I brought up what she put me through as a kid in a conversation and she apologized. She also told me she had gone through the same type of conversation with my parents, where she confronted them for the way she was brought up. From what I gathered, there were lots of tears and apologies from both my parents.
Her family started growing pretty rapidly around that time, and as a single aunt I absolutely adored her children. She ended up moving to a neighboring city (about a 30 min drive), and it became slightly harder to visit her because of the distance. I basically went from being at her house every week- because she was about a 7 min walking distance away- to only being able to go over about once every 3 or 4 months due to the fact that our schedules hardly ever line up now. Sadly, I feel like we aren’t very close anymore.
Now to update you on more recent years; my sister now has 3 kids (16, 8, and 6). My younger brother has two kids (4 and 1), and I also have two kiddos (5 and 1). My brother- being 2 years younger- has always had the closest bond with me. We did everything together growing up, and now that we have kids all relatively close in age, we hangout about once a week or are in constant communication (we communicate through meme sharing on IG). Lol. My brother and I have a pretty close relationship with my mom. When we get together its nice. We have become a little tight knit family and help each other out whenever we need it. My dad and my sister have sort of decided to isolate themselves from the rest of the family though. My sis is very much “the black sheep” of our family, and my dad would rather just be alone. Speaking to him feels slightly awkward as he doesn’t really initiate conversation or express any interest in us. I feel like he might even be depressed, but because he has never really shown any true love for his family, none of us really bother to check up on him much. Still, I actually feel a little guilty for that too.
Things haven’t really started to bother me about my family until recently. Almost two years ago I got pregnant with my second child. Then a few months later we found out my brother was also expecting a child with his wife. Everyone was excited and of course we shared this news with our older sister, and she seemed happy for us when we announced it to her. However, she was a complete no show for both of our baby showers with zero explanations. We tried not to feel sour about it even though we knew for a fact she was off from work on those exact days. Then fast forward to this past winter. I got married. The venue we had chosen was coincidentally down the street from her house, literally like a 2 minute drive. However, she only stayed at the event long enough for me to see that she was present and she just upped and left with her whole family almost right after the whole bouquet toss thing. According to my brother who was sitting at the same table as her and her family, she left without even saying a word. I also wanted to mention how my father was nicely planted on a chair throughout most of the reception, and didn’t talk to anyone at all. He kinda just stared off into space or was fidgeting with a napkin on the table every time I caught a glimpse of him. I don’t know if I’m making it a bigger deal than it really was, but overall it was hard to not be a bit upset at them. I had a blast at my wedding regardless of this. I sure as heck wasn’t about to allow that from ruining what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life.
Then, after that it has just been nothing but no shows for the most part from both my sister and my Father. - My kids’ bday celebration held earlier this year; both didn’t show. - Easter family gathering; again. Both of them didn’t show. - My brother and his daughter’s bday celebration; Our dad finally showed. Sister did not.
At this point, my brother is fed up of trying to include our sister or our father in anything. Both have shown that they clearly don’t want to be involved in anything we do as a family. Even when it comes to doing something as simple as texting them just to know how they are… if someone else from the family doesn’t initiate the text, we will literally never hear from either of them. However, the only reason I keep insisting that we shouldn’t stop inviting her is because her children love spending time with us and all their little cousins. I have literally heard all of them begging their mom to bring them over to spend time with us. Not to mention that I have a pretty close relationship with my teenage niece (She kinda sees me as her ‘cool auntie’ and closest family member).
Should I just let my sister be? Should I keep pushing this idea that we could all one day become one big happy family? Like, it literally breaks my heart to think about our children not growing up around each other. The very few times that we have gotten together as a big family, it was so awesome. Everyone was so happy. I think?
I really don’t know what to think of all this. Any thoughts or advice on what to do would be nice. Sorry if this became very long to read or hard to follow. I just feel so strongly about my family and my thoughts about them are so jumbled.

Seeing my older sibling playing through champions for the first time has sort of "reinvigorated" my interest in these games (well, it never really went away but yk what I mean). It also got me to read about the prospect of a competitive scene and why that doesn't work at all. This, along with the often underpowered enemies in the main game (final boss of the first game is rank 8, zongazonga is an F tier vivosaur, generally low levels for how easy it is to rank up, etc), and it got me thinking about balancing changes I would make if I were to rom hack champions or the first game (although I'll be talking about champions today)

Note that I'm not here to be a hater, I love ffc dearly and it's one of my favorite games of all time. These changes are mostly off the top of my head and I would love to hear what the rest of yall think. Let's address my issues first.

First issue: the enemies are insanely underleveled. I get that this is a kid's game but even when I was young I wondered why the enemies were so low leveled. Now that I'm not a kid, last time I played these games I had max rank vivosaurs like just over halfway through the game. Not to mention the genius team comps that some of these fools have, like Ruperts innovative mapo, mapo again, and king mapo. I wish I were as smart as him. Generally I would give them more flexible team comps and increase their ranks, as is they're far too low. It's better in champions because the gap between ranks isn't as big, but it'd still be nice to fight someone at my own punching weight.

Secondly, vivosaur balance is goofy. While you might say that the vivosaurs are distinguished enough as is, I'd have to disagree. Because each vivosaur belongs to an unspoken "class" (sauropods, large theropods, medium theropods, horned dinosaurs, pterosaurs, etc), each class (well, I guess clade would be the better term) plays pretty similarly to each other. This leads not just to homogenization between vivosaurs, but also makes you scratch your head wondering why you would even use something.
For example, let's look at the three ammonites in champions; parapu, desmo and gaudry. Parapu just bizarrely has higher stats across the board (well ok, it loses slightly in attack to gaudry) and its support effects aren't so much worse than desmo to make a real decision between them. Parapu is just objectively better than the other two and they're completely obsolete (it's moves are much better as well).
Sauropods have it the worst. There is Nigo and the rest of them. While it's asleep the first two turns, it's so fucking fat it's not gonna die anytime soon and once it wakes up the game is over. 50% crit rate for some fucking reason, great damage for relatively low FP cost on its stomp, one of the highest LP stats in the game, the list goes on. No other sauropod has anything to do compared to Nigo, aside from rotation ig, but rotation isn't as useful in champions compared to how stupid it was in the first game. It has link too because "he needs it" ig.
I could go on and on about the balance of vivosaurs, and it might seem like the idea to make Zanth and Nigo not auto win every fight would be to simply nerf them, but it's not so simple. Because of the kind of incremental nature of the game's balance, nerfing these two would just have them be replaced by two other guys, and nerfing them would just get them replaced, so on and so forth. Obviously, every game is going to have busted shit and the guys who just kind of suck, but the main different (and issue) in fossil fighters is that the shitty guys have no niche, they have no funny "let him cook" tech to try and fight back. A lot of vivosaurs are perfectly fine but they're just worse versions of another guy at the end of the day.

For example, let's look at pokemon. There's over a thousand of these fucking guys at this point, and we all know who the good ones are. The difference is that, let's say, a pokemon who is outclassed by lando t, is going to be just as good and identical to him in a meta without lando t. Another example, swampert is pretty strictly better in gen 3 compared to quagsire, but quagsire doesn't just play as swampert lite in lower tiers due to its unique tools (hell, it's better in ubers than swampert because of water absorb if I'm not mistaken). My point is that even bad pokemon often have something to set them apart that their superior can't do. It's not perfect ofc, but it's something
Let's go back to ffc. Galgaron and Zanth are both mid range attacks, and they're both super evolvers. Zanth and purple Zanth. What does Galgaron offer over Zanth? Nothing! In a vacuum it has confusion and +99% defense, but in practice it's strictly worse. Zanth hits harder for much less and its support effects are better overall. What good is 99% defense when the infection is coming. Not to mention confusion ruins any and all offense but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Does mammoth do anything better than any other frontliner? No. Does it even have a niche to do anything interesting? Also no (auto LP recovery is no interesting, nice 38LP per turn jackass). Even on a lower level, Spinax is directly outclassed by Aeros, who is directly outclassed by some other fool I'm sure. Hell, does any frontline matter when Krypto can just fucking kill you instantly?

Thirdly and one of the most damning, status effects are way way WAY too strong. This might sound stupid because status effects are strong in like. Every rpg ever. Spreading status in pokemon is one of the best strategies out there. What's the problem that they're strong here? The problem is that some status effects just straight up invalidate entire playstyles or are just generally overtuned.
I'm sorry to compare to pokemon so much but it's like the only other multiplayer monster collector I have a lot of familiarity with. The statuses in pokemon are insanely strong, yes. Paralysis cripples sweepers, burn shuts down physical attackers, sleep is generally stupid vs everyone, poison puts you on a timer, freeze needs a rework and confusion is a non issue. The difference is that status in pokemon has a lot more counterplay and dimension to the status effects. Paralysis sucks, but on a more passive tank it's not too big of a deal. Burn sucks but it can be blocked by a fire type or a special attacker who doesn't mind taking a burn. Toxic's timer reset upon switching, not to mention poison and steel types are outright immune to it. Sleep... well uh sleep is wicked broken so maybe not my best example. I guess spore and sleep powder can be blocked by grass types but I think it's telling that sleep as a status is outright banned in gen 5 (could be a patented "gen 5 ou moment" though) and pretty bullshit everywhere else. Not to mention that cleansing status does exist, even if its distribution is limited.
In fossil fighters champions status either doesn't exist because "good one I will now use the move rallying cry" or the status is confusion, which is so insanely busted I don't know how they thought it was ok. There's no way to play around status other than to hope it doesn't proc or using rallying cry. They're too polarizing between "ungodly broken but removed way too easily" or "confusion", because confusion is guaranteed results by activating before the opponent can make a move. This kinda just ruins a lot of vivosaurs and team comps. Good thing the AI doesn't know this or didn't want to ruin our lives. There is also infection. I do not think I need to explain why infection is broken.

You get the idea. Really, none of this really matters or comes into play during single player, the game doesn't ask you to metagame or use any vivosaurs other than the silliest ones you like the most. Maybe it's best if it stays that way. But the game does encourage multiplayer a lot, and part of the fun for me back in the day (grizzled 19 year old fossil fighters veteran) I loved theorycrafting shit and battling my siblings. I would love if we could hop online and sweat but the sweating was actually fun (maybe my ultimate gaming hot take is that sweating is awesome if you're both into it). One of the hard parts about theorizing about this is that it's hard to rework things and not end up making a completely different game.

So, after all the bitching, what is my solution?

First order: Make the ai stronger with higher levels and better teams. Self explanatory, I do not want to see Rupert pull up on me with 3 mapo. Dumb fuck. Also can we talk about how Zongazonga is like genuinly an F tier vivosaur. 350FP for his weakest move what were they cooking.

Second Order of business: Create a system to add more depth to team building and vivosaur customization
As stated previously, vivosaurs have a tough time differentiating themselves from one another outside of minor changes to stats/support effects/moves. I know I listed like everything but my point is that they're almost all the same when you get down to it and one is just better than the rest. I would like to propose ways to make vivosaurs more customizable to help them differentiate them better.

More skills to choose from. Maybe it could be something like you have a movepool like other rpgs but you can only hold like 4 skills or something. Obviously wouldn't solve everything but it would make things a little bit more varied.
More abilities is always a good thing imo. As it stands, there aren't that many of them and most of them are kind of ass anyways. Link, FP plus are really good, and then there's the ok ones like parting blow (thin ice), fp steal, auto counter in champions (meme in the first game) and maybe solo power but most dudes who have that are kinda frail anyways. The rest don't really get thought about much. Perhaps more abilities are in order, and more useful ones at that. Can't be totally outclassed if you have some stupid ass ability the other guy doesn't have (well, you can be but that's besides the point)
Maybe some sort of stat investment system like EVs could work. Not one to one with evs, and champions kinda has this with the miraculous fossil rocks, but those are pretty shallow examples.
Maybe some extra stats could help. 4 stats is tricky to balance amongst the, what, 200 or so vivosaurs. Maybe there could be dedicated "element" attacks that scale off some sort of magic stat. That might be fun. It would also make it so that something like compso doesn't just erase any and all attack stats (seriously what were they thinking with that fucking demon).

Those are some pretty basic examples. I can't really think of anything else atm lol.
Finally, rework status conditions
Very quickly because I've been writing this for awhile
Across the board, make status either more expensive or have a lower chance to proc. There aren't dedicated no damage status moves like toxic, will-o-wisp, t-wave, etc. I think it may be fair to either lower their chance of proc, make them more expensive, or remove the damage entirely on some of them (although the damage on the best status moves is really just a courtesy rofl).
Silver poison- Works like poison in every other game, % based damage tick at the start of every turn to stop rallying cry from negating it entirely
Gold poison/Venom- Same as before, I like the ticking time bomb aspect of it, it's unique. Idk how to balance it around RC though. If it wasn't curable it'd be way too OP but as it stands it's kind of a non-factor when you have RC.
Rallying Cry- This shit removes a whole aspect of the game for 30FP. Nuh uh. I'm bumping it's cost up to like 70FP or something. I can't playtest this to see how it would shake out but I think 30FP is too cheap for how strong it is. With a higher FP cost you would need to take into consideration if removing the status is worth it rn for something like poison or fear instead of it being an auto click. I worry that this nerf will make status way too OP but my main point is that 30FP is too good.
Sleep- Maybe make it so asleep vivosaurs can still be rotated or something. Alternatively, you can do something like how Temtem handles it, where sleep has a dedicated turn count and the vivosaur wakes up instantly upon being hit. That could be cool.
Excite- Idk it seems fine as is. Maybe a bit undertuned in champions but oh well.
Enrage- I think this one can stay it's just kinda funny tbh. Yeah it's bullshit and luck based but on the real it kinda sucks because enrage skills are usually expensive and accuracy down does the same shit for free. Funny gimmick.
Scare- This one's cool it can stay.
Confuse- Not sure what to do with this one. My first thought is that it only does anything if the vivosaur is selected and it can only last one turn. That way it's a gamble and not just a "fuck you die".
Infection- Remove fuck this status "lol 60% chance to die :)))))))))))))" never let bro cook again

Actually elemental resistance should probably make a comeback as well. Because fun fact, it's just not in champions for some reason.
Did you guys know that O-Raptor Fiend's japanese name is Hellsatan

Anyways again I love ffc and most of this doesn't really come in to play when I'm owning those rank 7 fools with my rank 16 dimetro/epic link spam teams. It's just a fun thing for me to think about and I would like to hear if you guys have ever thought to revamp the gameplay in any way.

Heya folk.
I'd like to share with you my story, in a hope to lighten the heart of those who might still be suffering from this troubled situation. Jump to the last 5 paragraphs if you want no story.
We met through a dating app, and after aproximately 2 months dating, I asked her to be my gf. I was 23, she was 21.
The first 6 months were amazing. She would accompany me through all the activities that I invited her for, spent all the weekends together and had overall a great time. Whenever there was something to discuss, we would do it so in a peaceful conversation.
I went from interested to mad in love. I started to think at that moment that she was probably the one, the woman I'd marry, who would have my kids. And so, I started slowly but increasingly seing her as such.
Everything was perfect. Until that day.
6 months into the relationship, we went to spend the weekend together by ourselves. It was a house in a mostly rural area, with almost no neighboors in the area.
She started an argument with me over something I can't recall, acting super sad out of nowhere, claiming that I did something to hurt her feelings, or that I wasn't being good to her.
I tried my best to reason with this, but just couldn't understand. After some time, I got stressed and yelled. Things got sad but after some time, we made peace.
Now I understand that I was love bombed, and was tested to see if I would stick to the crazy. Well, I stuck, and it was the beginning of one and a half year more battle against myself, and against the love of my life.
After this first episode, another episodes would be more frequent.
Her general mood oscilated between her being my best friend and my worst enemy. In 2-4 weeks, she would love bomb me, there were no problems, she just wanted to be with me disregarding any problems. Then, the demon would flip, and any and everything could be a reason for another fruitless and pointless conversation, only for the sake of stressing things out.
In the meanwhile, I was still trying to understand why did she acted like that. I began studying a lot of psychology, behavioural conditions, etc, and began to see patterns on her that fitted the BPD description. For heavens or hell's sake, there was even some people that claimed that even having BPD, they could live a normal life, minimizing the impact on their loved ones.
Now, I had swore my love to her, and I was ready to fight any battles necessary for us and for our future. She claimed that she went to the psychologist and psychiatrist maybe twice a month, and I even volunteered to participate in such sessions, so I could give the doctor my observations on her behaviour. I was never in a session. To this day, I still have my doubts if she ever set foot on a clinic.
As time passed by, she would be more aggressive with her approaches. Never physically violent, but always trying harder to hurt my/our feelings. I, on the otherside, was always trying to improve my patience so that her senseless arguing would come to a peaceful solution. Sometimes, my perseverance won, other times, her annoyiance did.
Fast forward, almost two years into the relationship, she was already in a bad mood for around 2-3 months. I went to pick her up for our weekend together, and in her house I already noticed that she was stressed, but we went to mine anyways.
On this weekend, I was mostly ignoring her attemps to annoy and stress me. At night, I and my roomate ordered food and I called her to join us.
"Food is here babe. Wanna eat?"
She nodded negativelly.
"Okay, If anything, I'll be there".
Me and my roomate were eating and laughing our asses off at random memes. She got out of the room with an empty bottle to fill it up with water. I asked again if she wanted to join us, she just nodded and filled her bottle. When she got back into my bedroom, BAM! She slammed the door, with some might, may I say.
Me and my friend kinda froze at the situation, looking at each other and to the door. It was his appartment, she did that.
That was when I thought to myself, I can't do this no more. On the next weekend, I gotta meet with her and end things.
On monday, however, after some good morning texts, suddenly she sent me a random girl nude video from an alt subreddit and asked me if I tought that girl was hot. I said "yeah, she is, but why are you asking me this?".
She flipped.
Said that I should probably go search for this kind of girl, being such that I found her hot, and other nonsense that I can't remember well.
Her body was kinda different from the random girl.
I just said "look, you're tripping. Calm youself down and later we talk."
After some minutes, she sent me another text.
She was breaking up with me. Said that she was setting me free, cause if I find other type of body like that attractive, I no longer had a reason to not chase what I wanted.
Funny enough, all that I wanted was her with me, in a peaceful manner, in a house together with kids, and a beautiful future.
As I was reading the text, on a brim to be in shock, or rather in disbelief... I thought ok. She is breaking with me by text, and that was simply unexcusable. Maybe once I told her so already, which may explain why she did it, to test if I would still stick with her, but I didn't. I just thought "ok". Thats it. It's over.
Boy, it hurt. I knew I was gonna need some time. It devastated me for around long 8 months. I, that was always shining with joy, fell in a long and heavy blue mood.
She begged me to return for a little bit of time after the breakup, finding me in every social media she could, asking for forgiveness, but I just couldn't.
I missed her so much. I swore her my love, and that devastated me. For a long time, i thought that I had failed.
On some rare ocasions we would start talking again, but it would take no longer than a week for her to start hurting my feelings with unecessary comments again.
Time went by. I've met new people, opened my heart to meet some new lovers, and the memories of what I spent with her always stood with me. For a long time it tormented me, cause I just wanted to forget everything that I had with her.
I spent so long trying to understand everything that happened, and why she acted the way she did.
While knowing that BPD exists, I still wonder why it does. To this day, I'm still not sure if she ever went to the clinic, to any psychic or neural doctor.
Today, however, I am grateful. On the bad side, it crushed my heart and my dream of a beautiful family. On the bright side, I am ready to love like I've never been before. I know what I want and what I do not want.
If you ever heard that phrase "Love yourself before you love anyone else", it comes to this.
It becomes harder to find another one, but also easier, as it becomes more clear what kind of things you tolerate on a partner.
All those mistreatments and rude behaviour had no excuses. It is supposed to be your loved one, why would you settle for someone that mistreat you with so much ease?
Please be kind to yourself, and to others.

Hiya people, how've you been? I hope you're having a wonderful day. 😊
Btw, I'd love to have invisibility or teleportation, IMO it's awesome.
I'm just a guy who loves learning new languages and hopes to become a polyglot and a translator someday. I'm here to to find my soulmate, someone who will make my days better and my life colorfull, someone who will be my safe point and that I'll be able to love with everything I've got, without holding back any feelings. Anyway, I'm looking for a long term LDR that could lead to something more, I don't like this hook up culture thing at all.
Here are some things about me so you can get to know me better:

I'm 5'7 (1.70 cm) tall, with white skin, short brown hair, brown eyes, and a little bit chubby 167lbs (76 kg), but I'm working out to get in better shape. We can exchange pictures early on to get to know each other better, as physical attraction is kinda important.
As you already know I love learning new languages, I already now Portuguese (my native language), English (still working on it), and a little of Spanish and LIBRAS (Brazilian Sign Language), but I have plans to learn more in the future.
I love watching animes, series, and sitcoms; reading books and manga; enjoying memes; practicing meditation, and so on.
I love dogs, ducks, and I don't like cats that much.
Strictly monogamous.
Sometimes can get attached to people easily.
I neither smoke nor drink alcohol.

What do I want from you? Well... I'm looking for someone who's just as romantic, lovey-dovey, and clingy as I am, the rest we can work out gradually.
My dealbreakers (because we all have things that we don't like, right?):

Smoke or 420 friendly (gosh I hate it).
Drink too much.
I'm a super lovey-dovey guy like "uwu I luv u sweetie pie," so if you don't like it, unfortunately, I'm not for you.
If you don't like to give and take affection.
Don't wanna have kids.
Older than 28.
Takes too long to reply.

If you've reached this far, congratulations! I'd love to talk to you, maybe I'm your soulmate and you don't even know it yet lol. Anyway, hit me up anytime. 🥰
Wait! Just one more thing before you talk to me, I know I'm not the best person to talk to, but I'll try my best, so be patient with me. And I'm not that fluent in English yet, so be aware of it, and PLEASE don't let me do all the talking lol. 😂

Hiya people, how've you been? I hope you're having a wonderful day. 😊
Btw, I'd love to have invisibility or teleportation, IMO it's awesome.
I'm just a guy who loves learning new languages and hopes to become a polyglot and a translator someday. I'm here to to find my soulmate, someone who will make my days better and my life colorfull, someone who will be my safe point and that I'll be able to love with everything I've got, without holding back any feelings. Anyway, I'm looking for a long term LDR that could lead to something more, I don't like this hook up culture thing at all.
Here are some things about me so you can get to know me better:

I'm 5'7 (1.70 cm) tall, with white skin, short brown hair, brown eyes, and a little bit chubby 167lbs (76 kg), but I'm working out to get in better shape. We can exchange pictures early on to get to know each other better, as physical attraction is kinda important.
As you already know I love learning new languages, I already now Portuguese (my native language), English (still working on it), and a little of Spanish and LIBRAS (Brazilian Sign Language), but I have plans to learn more in the future.
I love watching animes, series, and sitcoms; reading books and manga; enjoying memes; practicing meditation, and so on.
I love dogs, ducks, and I don't like cats that much.
Strictly monogamous.
Sometimes can get attached to people easily.
I neither smoke nor drink alcohol.

What do I want from you? Well... I'm looking for someone who's just as romantic, lovey-dovey, and clingy as I am, the rest we can work out gradually.
My dealbreakers (because we all have things that we don't like, right?):

Smoke or 420 friendly (gosh I hate it).
Drink too much.
I'm a super lovey-dovey guy like "uwu I luv u sweetie pie," so if you don't like it, unfortunately, I'm not for you.
If you don't like to give and take affection.
Don't wanna have kids.
Older than 28.
Takes too long to reply.

If you've reached this far, congratulations! I'd love to talk to you, maybe I'm your soulmate and you don't even know it yet lol. Anyway, hit me up anytime. 🥰
Wait! Just one more thing before you talk to me, I know I'm not the best person to talk to, but I'll try my best, so be patient with me. And I'm not that fluent in English yet, so be aware of it, and PLEASE don't let me do all the talking lol. 😂

Hiya people, how've you been? I hope you're having a wonderful day. 😊
Btw, I'd love to have invisibility or teleportation, IMO it's awesome.
I'm just a guy who loves learning new languages and hopes to become a polyglot and a translator someday. I'm here to to find my soulmate, someone who will make my days better and my life colorfull, someone who will be my safe point and that I'll be able to love with everything I've got, without holding back any feelings. Anyway, I'm looking for a long term LDR that could lead to something more, I don't like this hook up culture thing at all.
Here are some things about me so you can get to know me better:

I'm 5'7 (1.70 cm) tall, with white skin, short brown hair, brown eyes, and a little bit chubby 167lbs (76 kg), but I'm working out to get in better shape. We can exchange pictures early on to get to know each other better, as physical attraction is kinda important.
As you already know I love learning new languages, I already now Portuguese (my native language), English (still working on it), and a little of Spanish and LIBRAS (Brazilian Sign Language), but I have plans to learn more in the future.
I love watching animes, series, and sitcoms; reading books and manga; enjoying memes; practicing meditation, and so on.
I love dogs, ducks, and I don't like cats that much.
Strictly monogamous.
Sometimes can get attached to people easily.
I neither smoke nor drink alcohol.

What do I want from you? Well... I'm looking for someone who's just as romantic, lovey-dovey, and clingy as I am, the rest we can work out gradually.
My dealbreakers (because we all have things that we don't like, right?):

Smoke or 420 friendly (gosh I hate it).
Drink too much.
I'm a super lovey-dovey guy like "uwu I luv u sweetie pie," so if you don't like it, unfortunately, I'm not for you.
If you don't like to give and take affection.
Don't wanna have kids.
Older than 28.
Takes too long to reply.

If you've reached this far, congratulations! I'd love to talk to you, maybe I'm your soulmate and you don't even know it yet lol. Anyway, hit me up anytime. 🥰
Wait! Just one more thing before you talk to me, I know I'm not the best person to talk to, but I'll try my best, so be patient with me. And I'm not that fluent in English yet, so be aware of it, and PLEASE don't let me do all the talking lol. 😂

Here is a video of the original GameStop (GME) technical analysis provided by Keith Patrick Gill (Reddit username DeepFuckingValue) who turned $53,000 (US) into nearly $50 million and still has not sold. DeepFuckingValue previously had stated that the price target is "only up." This is likely due to the fact that short sellers can have the potential of infinite losses in the event of a stock on a bull run (such as the past 3 months).
Here is what happened during the Volkswagen short squeeze.
However, unlike the Volkswagen short squeeze GameStop's incredible bull run was made purely by a severe increase in buying pressure.
According to the SEC:

Against that backdrop, in January 2021, more than 100 stocks experienced large price moves or increased trading volume that significantly exceeded broader market movements. For some of these stocks, the amount of “short interest,” measured as the number of shares sold short as a portion of the total shares outstanding, exceeded the market average, while others had frequent mentions on social media, including Reddit. Notably, many of the stocks were consumer-focused companies that were familiar names to the public.

In other words, there was a systemic failure of market makers somewhere within the transactions and over 100 stocks broke free from Citadel Securities LLC's algorithm. This was made purely by buying pressure, the DTCC's subsidiary, National Securities Clearing Corporation (NSCC) had contacted Robinhood on the behalf of Kenneth Cordele Griffin (founder of Citadel Securities LLC) stating that there was the risk of systemic failures due to the amount of cash-on-hand requirements for T+2 settlement. Instead of allowing this to happen, the DTCC and Citadel Securities LLC committed conspiracy and racketeering across several PFOF applications and then later committed Perjury during the Gamestop congress hearing about having no contact with Robinhood.
2 years later, and now Gamestop has $1.39 B cash-on-hand, is net positive, and is soon to make the S&P500 with a market cap of $7.52 billion with a growth rate that outperformed the bank index (such as the failing meme banks UBS & Credit Suisse who are among the Banks in the DOJ's Russian Sanction probe). Gamestop shareholders continue to direct register and lock the float as short sellers continue to short and distort with hit pieces such as the one of the title. Today approximately 30% of Gamestop's float is direct registered by retail alone. With the self reported short % of the float being 21.41% short sellers continue to struggle as Gamestop gets closer to earnings with the past 3 months being green.
For perspective, the Volkswagen short squeeze only had 12.8% of outstanding shares being short that drove its share price up from €210.85 to more than €1,000 in less than two days and the only reason that it stopped was because Porsche showed mercy. Regardless if there is the argument that "Gamestop already had it's short squeeze" it still has the potential to reach higher highs than that considering Volkswagen was not involved in naked short selling. On December 31, 2020 GME had a short interest of 313.82% (go to chart> fundamentals> % Short Int> and view the 5Y chart timeline) this is physically impossible to close. The only reason it would be shorted that much is if an abusive short seller were to illegally attempt to drive a company into bankruptcy and not have to disclose their illegal short data.
Illegal naked shorting and stock manipulation are two of Wall Street’s deep, dark secrets. These practices have been around for decades and have resulted in trillions of dollars being fleeced from the American public by Wall Street. -SEC comment
Gamestop imposes Wall Street's biggest threat. This is why 2 years later CNBC is still making hit pieces on Gamestop as they push the UBS bank that had recently bought Credit Suisse's baggage. Just as Credit Suisse did with Volkswagen in 2007, they have made another very, very, bad bet. UBS is the bag holder that faces the risk of unlimited losses. We aren't trapped in here with them, they are trapped in here with us.
Buy, Direct Register Shares (DRS) transferring to BOOK, and HODL. Double check. Educate yourself and educate others. Just be glad you aren't an abusive Gamestop short seller and don't have to commit white collar crimes just to hide it while paying news channels billions of dollars to make hit pieces and articles hoping shareholders sell in a thriving company.
Edit: Left a stone unturned while searching sources.
^{Note that in no way, shape or form am I implying that Keith Gill is provoking market manipulation, this was an individual investors opinion. All individual retail investors are responsible for their own individual financial decisions. I personally like the stock. All you people at Citadel can go fuck yourselves.}

Hi everyone. I had this problem for a few months, but now it's getting worse.
It started with MonsterHunter and MemeHunter not showing up in my feed for no reason. I unsubscribed/muted them last summer to avoid spoilers, and subscribed/unmute again one month later once I was up-to-date. It showed up normally, and then it disappeared.
I was not aware of it at first, but then there was a major update on the game and I didn't know about it cause those subs were not showing up in my feed. Tried unsubscribe and subscribe again but nothing changed.
Recently, I noticed it happened to other subreddits. I will give you a complete list of them because I can and I have nothing to hide really :
AccidentalRenaissance, accidentalsurrealism, astrophotography, catsincostumes, CrossView, dataisbautiful, EarthPorn, fireemblem, FoundPaper, GamePhysics, hitboxgore, HitBoxPorn, MemeHunter, MonsterHunter, mountandblade, MisreadSprites, NintendoMemes, okcopainattard, ParrallelView, SilmarillonMemes, smashbros, smashmemes, softwaregore, spaceporn, wowthissubexists, WritingPrompts.
Those are not inactive sub at all. I didn't unsubscribed or muted them. But I don't see them anymore in my feed. I am susbscribed to 53 subreddits, and I can't see 26 of them. This is the half.
Why ? Why can't I see half of them ? I use the official Reddit App and it's up-to-date. Also, it's the same when I use web browser.
It's like my feed is totally bugged and I don't know why, and I don't find any solution. This is quite a problem for me because I use reddit to stay aware of new informations on some topics. Like Smash tournaments, felt like nothing was happening because smashbros was not showing up anymore.
Thanks, and hope somebody can help.

So I see people commenting on how hard it is to MAKE friends. Does anyone else have an extremely difficult time MAINTAINING friendships?
I need long periods of alone time to recharge, but overall am p affable and don’t have a hard time introducing myself and making quick casual friendships.
However, now that I’m older and not in school, I have a much harder time keeping a relationship going while not being in physical proximity.
Like, I simultaneously HATE that I never get texts and then when I do, I get sooo stressed out and usually can’t bring myself to answer for hours/days/weeks. Unless it’s a meme for some reason (?!)
It’s a vicious cycle!!!! Like obviously, this is why people don’t reach out that much!!!
I have my good homies who I can go months without talking to (almost of whom are also ND in some way) and then have a catch up 2 hour FaceTime.
but I feel like I’m failing just, regular friendships that 20-30 somethings have.
And it’s LONELY.

Honestly, life has been pretty lonely lately. As we are getting older making those connections just becomes harder, opportunities rarer, it seems. But that doesn't mean the longing gets any less. The craving for that person to come home to, to talk to, to spend time with. To talk life, dreams and sadness with. The one that smiles at my little texts, laughs with me at stupid memes, the one that makes you feel seen, heard and appreciated. Is that impossible? Feels like I am hunting a unicorn. I am hoping for someone that sticks around and can spend some time with. Once some comfort is established I'd enjoy doing voice calls, we could watch movies or similar together or just talk about our days. Play some games with, I loved to do that. The things achievable over a distance, but obviously open to suggestions. After that? Little walks on a beach? Cuddling up on the couch? We'll see when we get there.
As the title already states I am 33 years old guy from Germany. Physically, I'm really tall and guaranteed to reach the highest shelves for you (feel free to ask!), a bit on the bigger side but I work out multiple times a week and go running frequently. Long hair and a beard, no tattoos though. Basically a dad-bod without the dad. I'm an open and honest guy, monogamous, loyal, sometimes overthinking, very affectionate, caring and playful once I click with someone. Sometimes to my detriment, actually. I'm a caretaker by nature and would love someone around that appreciates that part of me. I've been described as a Golden Retriever personality before. Find out if its for you?
What can you expect? When it gets there, someone that will have your back no matter what, that will make the time for you, will try to build you up always, especially on the days where you can't do it yourself.
I read a lot in my free time, both fiction and nonfiction. For movies I'm partial to Thriller, Horror, Sci-Fi and Fantasy but open in my tastes. I also watch quite a few documentaries and true crime stories. I really enjoy learning new things. I used to be into games but without someone to share this with I don't do it a lot now. I'm a hobbyist cook and like experimenting in the kitchen. You can just get pancakes though ;) Big time into music, can you guess what I listen to?
About you, hopefully:
Most important thing, be from a somewhat similar timezone. Working around a big difference is hard, and should it work out being closer is generally favorable.
Honestly I don't want to put too many requirements in the way. I'm not that fussed about appearances. Who you are as a person, your character, your kindness are whats important to me. The vibe I get so to say. Being on the nerdy side is a plus. I don't mind some extra plush, just makes for better cuddles. I also don't mind someone on the clingy side. Child-free, please.
Also please, PLEASE a bit more effort than just 'Hi'.
Tell me your favorite color or your favorite dinosaur so I know you read this.
Anyways, hope you have a wonderful day and hoping to hear from you soon.

I've noticed on days when I do a lot more emotional work my brain feels lethargic. I am doing ok identifying things that make this happen but I can't avoid all of them and it wipes me out for a day or a day and a half where I can't muster focus and can only do "easy" things or lie in bed (even when I'm supposed to be at work). I have tried self-soothing techniques and they help a bit so it only takes a day or two and not a week or two but I really wanna be able to get back in gear faster. I've been working on this for the last year or so and I have better understanding of emotions now but the physical/mental effect on me is something that hasn't reduced.
Do you have ways to get through the fog? I would be grateful for any tips I can try, and ideally find a mindset or some activity that takes an hour or less to help me get my brain back on these days. Or some other way to manage. Compartmentalize? Set aside feelings for a few days until the weekend? What works?
I think this is "emotional flashbacks" but the guide from Pete Walker doesn't quite address it for me.
I feel like if I had a partner I trusted and loved, a long hug would do a lot, but I don't have a partner and I have very large trust issues still so I can only hug myself or my stuffed animal now and it's not at all the same.
Some of the things that make my brain slow:
Emotional work that I do

reading some of my emotions books, especially ones that touch on love, sex, and relationships
deeper conversations with understanding people
EMDR

When I get impacted by something emotional

seeing memes or posts about certain emotions, being reminded about love and relationships
someone being mad at me
being rejected from something I wanted
seeing I got an email from someone I don't want to hear from
someone I want to talk to not having time for me
being around people at work who have been "cruel" to me

Title: The Power of Laughter: Unlocking the Joyful World of Comedy

In a world often weighed down by stress and seriousness, comedy emerges as a delightful remedy that brings us together through laughter. Comedy has the remarkable ability to uplift spirits, dissolve tensions, and foster a sense of unity among people from all walks of life. From ancient jesters to contemporary stand-up comedians, the art of comedy has evolved and flourished, transcending cultural boundaries and language barriers.

At its core, comedy taps into the human experience, shedding light on the absurdities and idiosyncrasies of life. It offers a unique perspective that allows us to find humor in the everyday occurrences that often go unnoticed. Whether it's through witty wordplay, exaggerated physicality, or clever social commentary, comedy invites us to see the world through a lens of lightheartedness and mirth.

Laughter, the magic ingredient of comedy, not only provides instant gratification but also holds profound therapeutic benefits. Scientific studies have shown that laughter reduces stress, boosts the immune system, and improves overall well-being. It is no wonder that people flock to comedy clubs, theaters, and screens in search of a good laugh, seeking refuge from the trials and tribulations of life.

Comedy serves as a powerful catalyst for social change as well. Comedians have historically used humor as a tool to challenge societal norms, expose hypocrisy, and spark important conversations. Through satire and parody, they provoke thought, encouraging critical thinking and questioning the status quo. By highlighting the absurdities of the world, comedy becomes a vehicle for social commentary, promoting empathy, understanding, and positive change.

Furthermore, comedy bridges gaps between diverse cultures and brings people together. In a multicultural world, humor provides a universal language that transcends barriers. Jokes, memes, and funny videos circulate across the internet, spreading joy and laughter across continents. Comedy showcases our shared humanity, reminding us that despite our differences, we all experience joy, sorrow, and the need to laugh.

In conclusion, comedy is a gift that keeps on giving. It entertains, heals, challenges, and unites. It reminds us not to take life too seriously and to find joy even in the most mundane moments. So let us embrace the power of laughter, cherish the comedians who make us smile, and relish in the wonderful world of comedy that brings lightness and laughter into our lives.

Today marks a major anniversary for me, 16 years ago I laid in the neurosurgical ICU after already having a craniotomy to place leads on my left hemisphere to find, what they suspected to be a brain tumor at Cleveland Clinic. I was 22 years old. I had a neurologist on my left telling me they suspected the brain tumor was on the left side of my brain, and I had a neurosurgeon on the right side tell me he thought the brain tumor was on the right side, removal would cause extreme impairment, likely result in being a right sided stroke victim. I had to make the choice. I put my faith in God, I looked at my mom. She told me she couldn’t advise me. I asked what would be the least amount of impairment, and then neurologist, said the right. I was blessed. I started nursing school 3 months later. Eventually became a nurse practitioner.
I worked the front lines in the emergency room during Covid, I found out I was pregnant, and I also had applied for my post certificate and mental health due to the extreme need for it. Also, I didn’t want to be working for 10 hour shifts away from my family, I wanted to go into telehealth and work from home. Never thought this was a possibility 16 years ago. That was the main reason why I went back for my advanced education, so I could work from home for my son and be present. 14 hr shifts the ER wasn’t sustainable. I didn’t think I was going to carry the pregnancy to terms, since I’ve never been pregnant before, I had Covid twice during my pregnancy , I breast-fed, pump, was back at work two weeks later, in clinical, doing online discussion boards I graduated in December 2202. He didn’t even say “congratulations”. I made a Styrofoam hat as my graduation cap with my son. board-certified in February 2023, I had to take my boards in a different city and stayed in a hotel bc I felt like my husband would find a reason to create chaos if I took my boards at home (new COVID policy). My husband has been stable in his job for 20+ years, I’ve had the same work hours. Because of my seizures, we agreed that he would take night shift on the baby woke up 12a-5a. Last night he told me he’s not in love with me anymore, he holds extreme resentment towards me for going back to school, told me I was incredibly selfish. He gave me the green light to go back to school. We discussed it extensively prior to starting. I feel like he’s projecting a lot of his anger, although I do validate it, due to his recent estrangement with his parents, since they dismissed his sexual abuse from an uncle. He didn’t share this with me until five months after my son was born. It’s been a long road. It’s a long story. I have been extremely supportive, advising a DMR, medication, therapy. I myself have postpartum lady. I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself. I have been negotiating with multiple places to find the best work from home scenario. My husband doesn’t wanna do daycare because he’s worried about potential sexual abuse.
There is little compassion and empathy for the fact that I was pregnant, had a baby, high risk factor due to my age and having seizures, placed an anti-seizure medication, having Covid all together three times, working three jobs, in school graduating with honors, passing my boards, finding jobs. We also had a move in April, setting up the home. My son also has a little bit of speech delay, finding facilitation for his speech therapy. My dog was just hospitalized for three days for hemorrhagic gastroenteritis.
I am so blessed with my sweet, loving, 20 month year-old son. My husband made it very clear that we’re going back to school. I should’ve been home. My husband works part time, four hours, a day, five days a week. He does hold the benefits for the family.
I’m just in a daze. I’ve never stepped out on my marriage, I’ve never broken my vows, I’ve never kept secrets. I’m loyal and faithful
I pray for understanding. I know he loves me as the mother of our son. I am in-love with and it’s crushing. Will be 12 years married in September. Tried marriage counseling many times.
I want my son to see what love is and model it for him. I am learning I need to stand tall for him.
16 years. Thanks for reading
*******Edit: I appreciate the feedback. I hear you. I didn’t put the below in bc I’m just like… Jesus take the wheel
I supported my husband when he took 2 years for short term disability for depression in 2018. I set up his mental health appts, EDMR, therapy, researching best medication for his symptoms. I advocated for his mental, physical, emotional and spiritual self. I hear the caregiver fatigue, it’s very real. He has been in e same job for 20+ years and it’s like driving a car, you have to be responsible but it’s second nature. I feel like I’m not getting the support. I send him things to do in the community, set up new friend/child dates. Set up meeting a couple for coffee on Saturday with their son, our son and us. I encourage him to go out with his friends. I limit any spending on myself. I don’t get my nails done, do my own hair cuts, try to diy to save money. He wanted to buy a used boat a couple of years ago, we found money to make that happen to give him an outlet and his free time. I set reminders for him. I check in frequently. I encourage him to journal, mediate, any therapy. I’m trying to widen the circle of friends so there are outlets outside of our marriage. We just moved and there are things I can’t physically move from the storage unit. He won’t move it, so I say I will hire someone to move it, then it’s an issue bc he says I’m gaslighting him. I’m trying the best I can. Started an antidepressant for anxiety, which has helped. He doesn’t want to do marriage counseling. He doesn’t want strangers, watching our child. Anytime any adult conversation comes up to try and work through it as two adults, he immediately goes into this mood where he’s an angry teenager. He did done anger management last fall bc he would explode with anger over the dishwasher not latching properly or the dog scratching at the door. He adjusted some of his medication, which helped. I send him articles, podcasts, given him journals, take our son out for the whole day to give him space. I have tried so much. I make a point to compliment him frequently. I send him funny memes, check in with him to see how’s work going, ask about his day went when he comes him. I make sure he has 20 minutes to himself when he gets home so it’s not overstimulating.
I know no one here knows me. I just I just need to get it out there. 16 years. I want my son to have emotional intelligence and self love. I want him to have a childhood that isn’t filled with extreme highs and lows. It’s not really about me, it’s about securing a job where I can provide. He’s not in love with me and I keep thinking if I do more for everyone or take the weight of it, he’ll see my love. I don’t think he loves himself and he has a lot of repressed emotions, but who doesn’t. With that said, i advocate for his and our family’s and my mental health. I feel like a burden to him for having any needs. I have to get at least 6 hours of sleep or my risk for seizures goes up. I’m on medication and I see the neurologist