Retail space for sale near me

My boyfriend (30m) and I (30f) have been together for 5 years now. Throughout that time we’ve struggled with communication issues - specifically in regards to him yelling, cussing, and saying over the line comments (name calling, threatening to break up, insulting me as a person, refusing to step away/not allowing me to step away from the conversation until we’re both calm). Due to volatility of our fights, core issues are not getting resolved. My biggest request has been for him to work on managing his anger so that we are able to have productive conversations about what is bothering both of us. This is an issue we have been working on both with couples counseling and individual therapy.
I am struggling with how he speaks to me when he is angry, and begun to try and stick to setting stricter boundaries about not engaging when fights escalate. He has increasingly been feeling unsupported and unheard by me as a result. We’re not coming back to conversations for a few reasons: 1) I struggle to “set a time” to come back and talk because my initial request of time/space is met with hostility and accusations (that I don’t care about him), and 2) when he has calmed down he usually just wants to have us each apologize and move on (he rarely asks to speak with me about what it was the underlying issue while we are calm). I have tried suggesting we set a time weekly to check in with each other and discuss concerns/our feelings, but he has been resistant toward that idea.
I am starting to feel incredibly hopeless about our relationship. I love him very much, but I’m starting to worry that isn’t enough. I don’t want him to feel as though he isn’t getting the love and support he needs, but at the same time I’m worried that we’re at an impasse. He says his communication will not change until I am better at hearing and validating him, but I can’t truly hear him when I’m being screamed at and told I’m an uncaring and selfish girlfriend. I’ve tried explaining to him how triggering his outbursts are for me (I have a history of abuse - family and romantic partners), and have even tried helping him calm down in the past (I have stopped doing this in recent years though because it was taking too big a toll on me mentally and emotionally).
I am not willing to go back to helping him calm down (by reminding him of coping strategies, allowing him to yell at me, engaging in the conversation, etc), but I would like to know if there is something else I can do. Has anyone else been in a situation where you were able to overcome communication differences, and if so what helped?
TLDR: Boyfriend and I have been struggling with communication and things not getting resolved due to the aggressive way he communicates when upset.

hey guys I was desperately trying to get a job in front-end development and got one but, due to some reasons I was laid off I am a recent graduate in 2022 and looking for Advice/Referrals/Leads
quite frustrated as I LOST a lot of money in my personal venture too and then my job but I am quite grateful for these problems as it's Making a Man out of me!!
and I also don't think I should dabble in short-term things like a sales job (although I was on the marketing team in college ) but yeah any views and opinions
ALSO OPEN TO WORK ANY POSITION THANK YOU!!
regards

Me(19) and my friend (20) This happened a month or two ago but it still hurts me and idk what went wrong. I had a best friend at my college and we used to hang out together always after college. She was an amazing person. She had listen to me rant and i have heard her everytime. Including giving her a hug once (i don't really like skinship that much). So everything was going fine and we went on tour with other friends and from the day we came back she has only ignored me. She used to talk to me everytime we see. But then she only talks to people even strangers past me or near me and treat me like some ghost or someone who doesn't exist . It really hurts as i don't have many friends who are close. When conforted after trying so much she said she doesn't consider me as a friend which hurt even more and I'm less than even a stranger. But is totally fine with others.
( I don't have any romantic interest towards her or vice versa and nothing happened in that tour as well..)
Any advice or insight would be helpful it's been eating from inside for too long
Thanks in advance

I'll be honest, and going to upset some people with this.
Starrk is mid.
He disappoint me. We expected a lot from him. Being #1 and seemingly the strongest of the 3 FKT Espadas.
With Ulquiorra, we were shown the Segunda Etapa form. The overall demon look, it felt different from previous resureccions.
Harribel, we got a regal like resureccion form.
Then Barragan. Barragan was something else. He controlled time manipulation. A freaking OP ability. And then he uses his resureccion. That grim reaper look, with a crown that was epic. And top it all off, he have Respira. A fog that decays everything it crossed path to. Barragan is immune to physical attack, and his touch can instantly kill you.
WOW!!! THIS IS JUST #2.
Imagine how OP Starrk would be?! He probably controls Space Manipulation! Maybe bends reality! This dude is #1, stronger than Barragan. He has to be broken!
Turns into some dude in a cowboy suit. With 2 guns.
Oh, he can shoot ceros. You know, that skill every Hollows can use. Oh wait! He's different. He can shoot a lot of them like a machinegun!
Wow! Cero Metraletta. Definitely a step up over a death fog that decays everything.
You see. Barragan set a VERY high standard and expectation for Starrk. Look to the manga chapter where Barragan first used Respira, you can read comments of fans theories on how monstrously epic Starrk's resureccion and how BROKEN Starrk is going to be.
But Starrk was underwhelming. His best was those Wolves. Those were cool, but that was shortlived.
I feel we trying cope real hard, serious copium to convince Starrk was amazing. It's like waiting for the one movie, you expect it to be amazing. Then when you go to the cinema and watch it. It was okayish. But driving home you tried to convince yourself "the movie was great! Yeah, it had that one scene, that wasn't bad".
He really was just mid. He took on 4 Captain. None of them used Bankai, so none of them were going all out. We tried to use the 4 Captain as an amazing feat, but seriously it wasn't something THAT outstanding. He didn't took out even one. Look, Starrk isn't weak. He's isn't lame. My problem is he didn't top Barragan's presentation. Barragan set too high of an expectation. And ruined Starrk's.
TLDR: Barragan's powers and resureccion set the bar too high. And Starrk's powers and resureccion didn't top it.

Hello, Redditors!
I recently got offered a job in Rawalpindi near Bahria Phase 4, but I'm completely new to the city. I find myself in a bind as I need to find a hostel within a week, but I don't know anyone here to ask for recommendations. This is my first time in Rawalpindi, and I could really use some assistance during this challenging period.
If anyone has any suggestions or knows of any hostels in the area, I would greatly appreciate your help. I'm looking for a safe, affordable option with a comfortable living environment. Any insights, recommendations, or advice would be incredibly valuable to me.
Thank you all in advance for your support and kindness. Your help will make a significant difference in helping me settle down and focus on my new job. Please don't hesitate to reach out with any information or suggestions. Your help is truly appreciated!
Warm regards,
isameed/OP

I bet you get asked this a lot. But I tried searching the sub and I am still unsure.
​
I have currently fitbit Versa 2, but since they're now pushing us to use Google accounts, I want to switch. Some of my friends recommended me Polar and Garmin, but I am leaning towards Polar since their apps and products can be set to my native language which is a luxury. I am ok at English but still prefer my own language.
So, I am very broke but my aunt offered to buy the watch for me. I am super grateful, but I don't want to ask for anything super expensive so I first though about Unite because I could find one on sale for 99 €. But after reading this sub many people seem to think it's bad? I am not very sporty, but I do exercise regularly. For me sleep tracking is most important tho, rest of the data I just use for motivation to move. Sports that I do are: weight training 4 times a week, yoga once a week and some form of cardio once a week. On top of that I also walk a bit but I don't really count walking 2 km to the grocery store and back as an exercise.
Would Unity satisfy my needs or should I get a more pricey model? Also how does polar watches fit to smaller wrist? I have tiny wrist (13 cm) and when I was younger I had some polar sensor that came with a watch that was horribly bulky. This was around 10+ years ago tho so I guess all has changed.. :D

evāsurasaṅgāmasutta—Thanissaro Bhikkhu Aṅguttara Nikāya Book of the Nines 9.39. The Devas (About Jhāna)
“Once, monks, a battle between the devas & asuras was in full swing. And in that battle, the asuras won and the devas lost. Having lost, the devas simply fled while the asuras, heading north, attacked them. Then the thought occurred to the devas, ‘The asuras are still attacking. Why don’t we do battle a second time?’
“So the devas did battle with the asuras a second time. And a second time, the asuras won and the devas lost. Having lost, the devas simply fled while the asuras, heading north, attacked them. Then the thought occurred to the devas, ‘The asuras are still attacking. Why don’t we do battle a third time?’
“So the devas did battle with the asuras a third time. And a third time, the asuras won and the devas lost. Having lost, the devas, afraid, entered the deva capital. Having gone to their capital, the devas thought, ‘Having come to this shelter for the fearful, we will now keep here to ourselves, having nothing to do with the asuras.’ And the asuras also thought, ‘Having gone to this shelter for the fearful, the devas will now keep here to themselves, having nothing to do with us.’
“Once, monks, a battle between the devas & asuras was in full swing. And in that battle, the devas won and the asuras lost. Having lost, the asuras simply fled while the devas, heading south, attacked them. Then the thought occurred to the asura, ‘The devas are still attacking. Why don’t we do battle a second time?’
“So the asuras did battle with the devas a second time. And a second time, the devas won and the asuras lost. Having lost, the asuras simply fled while the devas, heading south, attacked them. Then the thought occurred to the asuras, ‘The devas are still attacking. Why don’t we do battle a third time?’
“So the asuras did battle with the devas a third time. And a third time, the devas won and the asuras lost. Having lost, the asuras, afraid, entered the asura capital. Having gone to their capital, the asuras thought, ‘Having come to this shelter for the fearful, we will now keep here to ourselves, having nothing to do with the devas.’ And the devas also thought, ‘Having gone to this shelter for the fearful, the asuras will now keep here to themselves, having nothing to do with us.’
“In the same way, monks, on whatever occasion a monk—secluded from sensuality, secluded from unskillful qualities—enters the first jhāna: rapture & pleasure born of seclusion, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation, on that occasion the thought occurs to him, ‘Having come to this shelter for the fearful, I will now keep here to myself, having nothing to do with Māra.’ And the thought occurs to Māra, the Evil One, ‘Having gone to this shelter for the fearful, the monk will now keep here to himself, having nothing to do with me.’
[Similarly with the second, third, & fourth jhānas.]
“On whatever occasion a monk, with the complete transcending of perceptions of (physical) form, with the disappearance of perceptions of resistance, and not heeding perceptions of diversity, (perceiving,) ‘Infinite space,’ enters the dimension of the infinitude of space: He is said to be a monk who has put Māra in the dark. Having bound Māra’s eyes and leaving no opening, he has become invisible to the Evil One.
[Similarly with the dimensions of the infinitude of consciousness, nothingness, and neither perception nor non-perception.]
“On whatever occasion, with the complete transcending of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, he enters & remains in the cessation of perception & feeling; and, having seen [that] with discernment, his effluents are completely ended: He is said to be a monk who has put Māra in the dark. Having bound Māra’s eyes and leaving no opening, he has become invisible to the Evil One, having crossed over attachment in the cosmos.”
https://suttacentral.net/an9.39/en/thanissaro?reference=none&highlight=false

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As we get into the Summer months, there will be plenty of drilling programs that are going to get underway in the Athabasca Basin, but I would argue there are few who can match the potential that F3 Uranium is chasing in their upcoming program. By current calculations, the company already has between 15 and 20 million pounds of high grade uranium in the ground. The depth at which they found this uranium is also encouraging and what makes me excited about the upcoming drilling campaign, is that they will be focusing on the various parts of the conductor that could hold more high grade uranium. It’s expected that the company will drill around 30 holes to drill more prospective targets and if previous step-outs are any indication, there is plenty of potential there. The previous 60 meter step-out hole to the south already showed some absolutely world class intervals, with 14.5 meters @ 9.4% U3O8, 5 meters @ 26.7% U3O8 and a massive 2.5 meters @ 45.6% U3O8. There was even a pitch black sample in there that graded at over 65% U3O8, which speaks to the potential of the mineralized system. Combined with other great results that included numbers like 5.5 meters @ 18.6% U3O8 and 1 meter at almost 60% U3O8 and one can see that the mineralization continues along strike and up-dip towards the unconformity. It certainly feels like this mineralized system has a lot more to offer, which will be targeted this Summer.
I recommend looking at the previous news releases and reading my previous posts on this discovery, as those puzzle pieces will tell you that this discovery is still completely open up-dip. This is significant because, as the company has rightly pointed out, they hit the aforementioned 65% U3O8 in a shear zone that was very close to the unconformity. The reason why I want to highlight this, is because when uranium deposits breach the unconformity, there is a chance that there is a major amount of high grade mineralization that can be found in the unconformity itself. If that is indeed the case and the upcoming drilling program shows that, the sky will be the limit in terms of how big and high grade this deposit could be. It’s also important to note that this unconformity continues towards the south along a lengthy 3 kilometer conductor, where we could see more high grade breaches of said unconformity that could be explored. That is when this story goes from exciting to incredible, if we do see a continuity of high grade mineralization along the unconformity towards the south.
What am I expecting from this Summer? While betting on exploration success can be risky, given all the challenges that come with it, a calculated assessment can be made based on what we know about the geology and what the previous step-out holes from the initial discovery have told us. As I noted above, the company will have some clear targets for step-outs along the conductor and the unconformity itself. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the company hit more high grade uranium and potentially catch up to ISO Energy, who have their own ~50 million high grade uranium asset. That will certainly be great, but once again we will have to wait and see what the drilling results tell us as those come in over the coming months. Thank you for reading, I hope it proved to be informative! I am a shareholder of the company myself (and have recently bought more on the dip) and the post was created in collaboration and compensated by the company. The company still remains an explorer of course and there are risks to take into account, so please always also do your own due diligence and consider your risk tolerance and portfolio strategy, as this is not investment advice. I hope that this update provided a good springboard for your own due diligence into the company and as always if you have any comments or questions, please let me know. Have a good and healthy rest of your day and keep your head up, there are better times ahead for the uranium space!
TLDR: F3 Uranium is gearing up for their Summer drilling program and if their previous drilling results are anything to go by, it is shaping up to be a massive few months for the company. I am excited to see what the company does over the coming months, as previous step-outs have indicated that this mineralized system holds a significant amount of potential. They will target an expansion of the JR zone and further exploration along the Main Shear Zone conductor and the unconformity (which could host more of that ultra-high grade uranium if those previous results indeed show that it has breached the unconformity itself). Could we see more world-class hits into the unconformity or rather a bigger step-out that shows the mineralization continues south? Perhaps we see both and a potential test of the connected zones. That all remains to be seen, but there are certainly exciting times ahead for the company and if they can deliver the same quality results that they have done previously, the market will likely react in kind. Thank you for reading!

This is probably going to be all over the place, but thank you if you can get through that.
As I understand now I grew up very naive and a lot of people took a lot of advantage from me. And for today I seem to be a total failure at every aspect of my life.
I suppose I was a but autistic as a kid (though I never had a proper diagnosis), so I never fully understood my classmates or people in general. But I was really good at almost every discipline at school (I have all A certificate and I was one of the best graduates of my school).
Though my father very often found a reason that I should be punished. Corporally. He often left me all black and blue, but under the clothes, because his parents and my mother (and he himself) were very respected people in education and medical system of my town. This is also was one of the reason that I couldn't behave improperly anywhere, because a lot of people knew who my parents were and could tell them if I did anywhere anything wrong. I was also teased at school, because I was studying for almost all As (as it was kinda easy for me), but were not very social. I didn't get the jokes very often and was very cumbersome and naive and easy to make laugh at. But I couldn't make a fight to defend myself, because they instantly took me to principal, besause I was a child of a teacher. And it meant more abusing or beating at home.
Together with corporal punishment he verbally and mentally abused me very often asking me questions that I had to answer like "how should I punish you for this" and it always should've been beating me and any other option would lead to a question "do you think this would be enough for that misbehavior?" and the right answer should be "no, it's not enough", but of course I didn't want to say that. But I couldn't leave until he gets the right answer and I'd get beaten up by his belt. And we could spend literally half a day like that. Like I could get home from school at 2 pm and if he was at home he could do it till the late evening. And I remember that awfully heavy atmosphere at home.
When I was 10 I was sexually assaulted by a stranger in the elevator of our home, who threatened me with a knife if I make a sound or try to do anything. This man was never found. I don't think I still feel anything about that. It wasn't that scary as going back home and it stopped my father's abuse for some time. But I thought that I couldn't get away because it felt like everybody everywhere knew my somebody from family. Of course now I understand that it's wrong, but it took me long to really understand that.
But I had a lot of energy. I literally couldn't shut up during classes as I knew all the answers almost instantly and didn't understand why it is hard for the others, so it didn't help to build good relationship with my classmates either. But I couldn't defend myself.
I lost my only friend who got fed up that I decided to play video games when he came to visit me. Right now I understand that it was my dependent behavior that manifested early as a video games escapism. Now I'm thinking that it was also weird, because I clearly remember spending hours at his house watching him playing his games. So probably I could solve it. Or probably he was looking for an excuse to make some distance with me as I have progressively got very weird in my teen age, so he probably started feeling very awkward and didn't know how to speak to me as I was interested only in music and girls. And because I was not popular at all, I was fully into music. He was not at all. He was an easy fellow. Pretty simple, but a good and nice person I have to say. Against him I don't hold any grudge.
Since childhood I was passionate about music. Rock, metal - that was my thing. Pantera especially :)
But of course my parents were against me making music. Each time I started playing or practicing guitar my father came to tell me to go wash dishes or wash the floor or whatever. They've heard that IT becomes the new big thing so they sent me to the technical university. The one that it not far from home, because suddenly SUDDENLY they were sure I was not ready to live by myself in the university dormitory. I obeyed again.
Anyway I socialized better in the university. I got into a student group of really nice people with the same intellectual level with me and they were really very very kind. Sometimes I spent days not seeing my parents. My father stopped beating me till black and blue, though there still were cuffs and slaps and punches and he loved to kick my things and take my guitar or my computer from me or disable my music system for weeks, so I "would study better" or whatever.
It stopped one day when I took a chair and told him that if he didn't leave my room right know I'd hit him with that chair. He's a six feet tall former sportsman. But I'm actually became taller than him. I was 19 or 20 back than. But it didn't actually change a lot. He stopped going physical, but continued to mentally abuse me. And I think I was either stupid or too used to that kind of treatment.
I remember him explaining they had very little money back then, he was struggling with having a job and I was constantly failing them and he wanted to make a good person out of me. He said he did it, because he had to as a parent. And it was unpleasant for him, but I constantly made him do it. It started I think in the end of the kindergarten when I started secretly taking toys to home.
When I was 20 I met my future wife at a punk gig. Fun thing was that she turned out to not liking music much. At least as much as I did. Her mother is narcissistic and she shares a lot of narcissistic traits and ways of behavior herself, though she is not a full-blown narc our relations were very toxic and unfortunately they still are. Now it is obvious to me that my love for her appeared because in a sense she wast like my father to me and I wanted to recreate it subconciously. I had to go through some therapy to understand that. And now we're almost 19 years together and we have a daughter, she's 7 and I love her very much. I try to protect her as much as I can and though I found that I'm very much like my father in many aspects, I always remember about that to not let myself act without unconciously, so I've never raised my hand on her and I almost always talk if something goes wrong. I try to spend as much time as I can with her. She loves dinosaurs, all things about space and a lot of girly things that is fun to play too. I feel like I'm partially reliving my own childhood with her. But we constantly fight with my wife. Like every day. And it scares my daughter. And it kills me. And it kills me that I can't part ways with my wife, because I try to create loving environment at home for my daughter. Even my wife jokes that I am the mom in our family.
But now I have problems with work myself. Remember I went to the university? I had to quit it. My brilliant brain eventually collapsed. I started experiencing brain fog (or my brain became completely silent when I needed it) and a terrible attention disorder and I still do to this days. For years I was drinking a lot (like a lot), smoking, playing videogames, while still being highly functional. I'm not a closed person, I'm pretty open and look positive for the most part. Many people describe me as very empathetic and charismatic. I did some scientific work in my university, than I worked in IT while playing gigs with several bands in different genres and doing session work as a guitar player and arranger. Now I'm working in advertising and I was kinda successful in creative and production departments till recent times. But I always felt awful inside and it became worse. Was it my relationship with my wife, was it my childhood thing, was it any other factors, I don't know. Probably everything took its toll on me. All I know is that I don't have the same energy as before, I don't have aims or things I love. Well technically they exist, but nothing excites me anymore. Though I love spending time with my daughter and mindlessly noodling guitar or piano from time to time.
So I got a life, you know, but seems like couldn't escape anything. Like I was downward spiraling all this years just trying not to notice that.
During the pandemic years I quit drinking and smoking (boy, was it hard) and somehow lost interest in playing video games. I started doing sports and gradually started feeling better. But unfortunately I underwent vascular surgery and had to stop for half a year and absolutely lost the momentum. All I'm doing now is watching memes and youtube. I became terrible at my job, because I can't handle it anymore. The projects I was doing is at the end now, but I just can't get myself together to look for a new ones. And I have a mortgage to pay and it's a big sum every month.
My brain becomes silent more and more often so I started hating doing what I do. I can't be creative anymore. I hate myself. I hate my past. I hate what my family became. I'm afraid we can fuck up my daughter's future, because that is the relationship of constant fighting she sees every day. And the most terrible thing is that I found out recently that I'm in constant fear that from minute to minute my father will come home and beat the shit out of me. Can you imagine? Like WTF, seriously?
And what is the most terrible thing that makes me angry is that I don't hate my father. I love him and I know that for years I tried to make him like me. Funny thing that my mother said that she feels guilty for what happened, but now I feel only anger for what she said. She did nothing and often she started the thing with acting sad that I embarass her in school with my behavior, so my father got another reason to beat the shit out of me.
Right now she does nothing with my daughter (like doesn't call her or text her or whatever) and from time to time says that she feels guilt for that. Seems like that's her way of life: not doing what is needed to and saying that she feels guilt about that, than continue to do nothing. And I love her too. And when I meet my parents we all pretend like nothing has ever happened. I just don't participate in conversations mostly. Drinking helped in the past, but I'm not doing that anymore so I mostly keep silent at their home and detach myself in my thoughts unless somebody asks something. And I also hate that I was trying to speak with them when I was drunk and pretend that nothing has ever happened to. It feels awful and I feel no respect for myself for that.
Yet I don't hate anyone. I would like to fix relationship with my wife, I feel bad for my parents as they have their own history with their parents. But why should I understand and feel for everybody so they would continue their life like it's ok? That said starting a mess in the family may influence my daughter's life and I don't want that. I feel trapped.
The problem is that in a month I'll have no money for the next mortgage payment. But I have no energy to look for a new project to do and do it. And I have no time and money for psychotherapy. I did so much to continue my life for so many years. I just can't anymore. Recently I started experience health issues, especially after contacting COVID-19. So seems like a full house: no money, no job, no health, no love, no friends, no support, no energy, no brain. I'm not s****dal by any means. I just want to lay on a bed and do nothing forever. And I want to do it for years already actually, I just kept getting myself together, because of my daughter. But right now I feel I just literally can't anymore on every level: mental, physical or whatever.
There are more things that make it harder for me now, but I try to not make is so much over the place. And my wife doesn't want discuss it or help me, she says that I'm often get depressed and she's tired of that. That time I managed to talk to her openly she said: "Go to psychiatrist, they'll prescript you some drugs and you'll be fine". But what drugs? I've been through some shit, of course I feel sad and depressed and my constant inability to influence any of these things made feel even worse. Of course I can numb myself with prescriptive drugs, but what's the difference with the alcohol then? I don't think that there are drugs that help people to solve issues between each other or open their ears, make them respectful and wise enough to think about consequences of what they say or do.
This is the first time I tell the story of my life, so I'm sorry if this is too long to read. I just can't. I try to think things through and it seems now like I could've run away from home in the childhood, I could end my relations with my wife before we had a child, though I can't imagine not having my daughter. But what was I thinking before? I also understand Like who cares if you're smart and what is the point of having 140+ IQ and not being able to distinguish people who is good for you from those who is bad for you.
If was a cool flex for my parents to have a smart child. It is a cool flex for my wife to have a smart husband. But to me it is like a curse. I'm no smarter than anybody else. I don't even understand what is it. I can't even solve my own issues. But people around me tell me how smart and articulate I am and it creates nothing, but expectations that I don't want to fulfill.
What if I fill for divorce, because we can't come to an agreement on literally anything. Previously I was doing things her way, because it wasn't a big deal and I wanted her to smile. Then I found out that she thinks that I'm entitled to live the way she wants, to do things the way she wants, to pay for everything she wants and if I say I can't for example swap our car to something new and better right now, then I'm doing not enough money unlike husbands of her friends. Like WTF? Yes we talked through a lot, but there were so many things said and done, that I'm not even sure I want to continue with her. On the other hand if I divorce, we definitely won't come to agreement on our daughter and I'm afraid she'll make her think that I abandoned them both.
What if I call to my parents or meet them and ask all these questions about my childhood. I know my mom will start talking about how guilty she feels and whatever. And my father will try to avoid talking. Or even if he would say that he was young and stupid and didn't know what he was doing and he feels sorry for that, I don't think it would help me. And making him suffer won't help either.
It is just unfair living like this. Sometimes I read stories of other people and think "Okay, they've seemed to go through something worse than myself and still be able to proceed with their lives". But nothing actually works anymore. Again I'm not s****dal, but it is like willing to freeze, you know. Something like that.
I don't know if I have a question. I just can't cope with all this. I was writing this post for two days and don't even have the energy to read it through myself.
P.S. Excuse me for possible mistakes, English is a foreign language for me.

First, I want to say thank you for this space. It seems like every place on the internet where you can ask questions about BPD are infiltrated with pwBPD gaslighting everyone and making abuse victims out to be mean or 'ableist'. It can be terrorizing.
[TW: VIOLENCE, INTIMIDATION]
My actual question: How much do BPDs remember if they go into a blackout rage? My ex BPD broke into my apartment, waited there around 7 hours until I got home and then was upset at me that I was confused why they were in my apartment. Especially confusing since two weeks prior they had beat me with a metal pole until my nose was broken and I had multiple face fractures.
I went no contact with them after that, but this only seemed to escalate things .After trying to call the cops because they broke into my apartment, they then proceeded to rage at, physically intimidate, and repeatedly tell me how much they wanted to or would kill me under a variety of scenarios. If I tried to escape they would chase me down the street I was on and repeatedly punch me in the face until I went back up to my apartment with them. It was honestly the scariest night of a very scary life for myself. At one point I started to pray to gods out loud I don't even believe in because I thought I was gonna die. He mocked me for that. This went on for three hours. When they did leave, they chased me into an ATM, made me get money for their taxi and then beat me in the taxi.
Cut to three days later and they won't even acknowledge it . They'll cop to the first time they beat me, but those three hours? Completely forgotten from their memory it seems except that they felt they "needed to deserve to do something" because I wanted to call the cops. It's so confusing. How is that even possible? I'm still no contact but they keep finding all the ways possible to relay messages to me.
How can someone's rage last for hours at full volume like that and it not even be a thing that sits on the forefront of their memory?

I went to my LGS the other day and asked them if they would be getting the re-release Space Marine Heroes Death Guard set (as I thought I might make a DG Kill team out of them. But then My brother messaged me (He plays DG in big 40k) and asked me If I could ask around for them here as he tried to order online and they sold out too quickly for him to get any.
In the spirit of being a nice brother I'm going to get them for him and postpone any DG Kill team until I can find a second set if I can find one somewhere else as my LGS only had 3 sets and I got my name on the 3rd set.
As a Bonus Please see Memoirs of Isstvan My Deathwatch Team which is 20 Loyalist Survivors of Isstvan III and the only time I've come close to painting anything Deathguard related so far. It has 5 Terran Recruits from each of the 4 legions massacred there ever loyal to the emperor who got warp shenaniganed into M41 and now are on a quest to hunt down the brothers who tried to kill them.

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Hey all, first of all even though this is a new account, I am still super grateful that there is a place to put my thoughts into words and I appreciate every help. I also want to apologise in advance as this will probably be a long post:
My girlfriend and I are in a relationship for nearly 6 years now. We share an apartment since roughly 2 years and I value her a lot as a person and as a friend. Sadly I don't feel like i can keep up that relationship on my side anymore. I have less romantic feelings for her than ever before and have an ever growing wish for "freedom". That often leads to me being annoyed or wishing to do things alone. While I struggle with those feelings, I feel guilty since she invested so much emotionally and in other ways into the relationship, in me and our future.
From the beginning on she felt way stronger about our relationship than I did, but I mostly try to shove that thought to the side. Since puberty I do struggle a lot with my feelings and I was hoping that it would just take time to develop this feeling of strong love. We also talked about it before getting together and she was okay with that. So we engaged into a relationship while taking it slowly and dated. It feels comfortably being loved and cared for, but sometimes it seems to be very uneven as she mostly is more invested on the emotional side than I am.
In those 6 years I had a few very dark moments in my life where she supported me a lot. She was there to listen and comfort me while I was sliding in and out of emotional lows several times. For that reason the relationship for me feels even more uneven and I got the feeling that I owe her too much to end the relationship.
Since around a year I started to have less romantic feelings about her and I don't feel overly attracted anymore. My girlfriend seems to love me as much as she did at the start of our relationship, what makes me feel even worse. I tried to talk about it with her and even told her that I want to end the relationship for those reasons. She started to cry very hard and could not understand what I said. She said that she couldn't live with out me, that I was the only support she has and that our relationship is not as uneven as I feel it to be. While I may not have romantic feelings for her I still cannot see her that sad. My heart dropped to the floor, but I tried to continue. We spoke for a long time until evening. The next morning the feelings of guilt totally overwhelmed me and I offered to try again. Even though I didn't know if that was the right thing, we continued with our relationship and I simply hoped once again that the feelings would catch up with me.
This is nearly a year ago and I didn't have the heart to express my feelings again. We continued as normal, but we started to have less sex. While we both still have the desire for (it just doesn't feel romantic to me anymore) I cannot really go for it. It feels like taking advantage of her as long as we are stuck in this situation and it doesn't help that she drops more and more hints that she is missing it. I mostly let time pass by since then as she was occupied with master school for half a year and I didn't want to put any further stress on her. I still wanted to support her as much as possible in this phase and tried to give back at least some of the support she gave me in all those years.
Now that this phase is coming to an end I am just feeling lost. I don't want to hurt her and I value all the things she did for me, but I still don't think that I can continue like this for much longer. It simply doesn't feel right and somehow I don't have the strength to end it. I feel very unfair towards her, even though the last time we talked about it, she assured me that its not. I simply don't know what to do and I cannot lift the feeling of debt towards her no matter how often she says there is none.
I hope you have some ideas or at least a rough direction for me as I feel very lost right now. How did you guys overcome such situations? Did you have any similar situations?
Thank you for reading that far. If anything is unclear, please feel free to ask. English is not my native tongue and some sentences may be hard to read for that reason.