Now first, I'm still not an athiest. I'm just a Christian who does not agree with what most American Christians stand fosupport. A bunch of hate and bullshit. At this rate, I'll be an atheist by the end of April.Anyways, this thought has been on my mind for a few months, even before I began to majorly doubt what religion was actually like. I grew up Christian, and went to a small protestant school until middle school ended, and a Catholic high school.
The small school I went to was insanely religious. Basically sponsored by a church, classes took place in said church's other buildings. Religious teachers, not like the nuns of many older Catholic schools, but still firm Christians. Everything was related to Christianity in some way. Sciences, yup. Languages? Only Latin, which is a language that can assist in other languages (like spanish or french). While that is true, it seems that this language was chosen because of its massive connection to Christianity. The classes that didn't have a religious connection used these homeschool books that you could tell had some religious feeling.
The books we had were mostly classic works, some with religious connections. Books like Harry Potter were not allowed, probably too fake or something. Religion class involved reading chapter after chapter of the Bible and other religious books. Taught by pastors of course. Every morning we would have a tiny assembly that was a very brief church service.
What angers me most is how one sided and how out of touch this place could be at times. I always felt like it was "Our school good, public school bad". They made it seem like public school absolutely hated religion, and it was really annoying. The school also didn't give much prep for what the real world is. Instead it lumped together K-8th graders and made it feel like that it's normal to be apart of a community where Kindergartners interacting with middle schools is normal. Idk about everyone, but I want to interact with people near my grade, not five years older or younger. And the fact that I had not much of a life outside school/church, it was like I was trapped.
High school was not as religious, mass and a fuck ton of donation requests. Science actually included evolution, shocking. The school had brief prayers throughout, okay that's fine. But it again shoved so many religious opinions down my throat. Abortion, bad. Sex before marriage, bad. Not being Catholic, bad. They can teach what they want, it is a school for their religion. It just got annoying after a while. And sex was this cursed thing it felt like, I knew nothing. I did get the birds and the bees talk from my dad, but like school (both the small one and high school) gave me nothing. I went into high school barely knowing anything, which may be good in some ways. But no talks about condoms, pregnancy scares, any of that. Zero health classes at all in either school.
Maybe if my first school was bigger and I was treated more like a middle schooler, things would have been better before high school. Doesn't help that I didn't do many out of school activities, I went into high school as the overly Christian who knew nothing about what people my age and older would be like. My parents thought public school would lead me to getting bullied, but I got bullied early on in high school, mostly because I was this kid who knew nothing about the real world. I don't hate my parents for sending me here, I just wish I was more open about my issues growing up.

All, selling some nearly brand new items. Post here, then DM me. Venmo and Zelle preferred. Payment withing 15 mins please. Thanks boys.

• Hypertap 7.62mm/.308 Slim - Best 308 brake you will ever have. Brand new, never torqued. Comes with original packaging, wrench, etc. - $140
• Geissele Airborne Charging Handle 5.56 (ACH) - Bought brand new and installed into a build that was manually cycled a few times. Excellent condition w/ little to no salt. - $80

$200 for both. Thanks boys.
Photos: 1 2 3

Im coming from wrath classic and I know that the professions arent nearly as important for gearing up as they are in wrath. Still I dont have any on my fresh 70 Paladin, and want to know which ones would benefit me. I dont have much gold so if theres one in particular that can make me gold by crafting that would be cool, i dont think i want to go around gathering ores or joining a raid group for skinning animals.

While this post may be a bit long, I appreciate it advance anyone who takes the time to read it for an anxious person like me, and even a quick comment goes a long way. Apologies in advance as many of these "concerns" are probably just over-thinking and just need a straight answer -- but this community has been very helpful in the past so figured I'd post here for y'all's honest replies.
First off, we are a young couple. Mid-20's and from downtown Chicago. We are both fairly attractive, good builds and not overweight. She is bi, and while I am not interested in sexual contact/penetration with another man, I'm not freaked out by the mere sight of another penis or seeing a man's naked body near mine, etc. As of now, we're looking to start experiencing other people/couples in the means of a FFM threesome, parallel play, or even just a hangout/drinking that involves some easy games that maybe involve kissing, etc.
My question/concern #1 has to do with our age. As a young and (at the risk of sounding egotistical) attractive couple, are we more "in demand"? Will it be hard to find young people/couples like us who are interested in these kinds of things...is that community of people more older? We would be probably most/only comfortable with other females/couples in their 20's, early 30's like us. Is that an immediate barrier that we need to drop?
2 is just, what's the best way to jump in? Other than having a conversation deciding yeah we wanna get freaky with another person(s), what's a good first concrete step to take? I often see people just saying "go to a sex club" with no other help offered, but idk, that seems pretty intense for newbies like us just trying to dip their toe and start to try something. Sometimes people suggest apps...but which fit our needs for a young couple in Chicago?
3 is just safety. Can meeting up with other people like this be dangerous for sex trafficking, etc.? Is there anything to know other than just general "be smart" ideas?
Thanks in advance to any kind stranger who takes a second to respond. All the best.

So a few days ago I(m28) had a one night stand. After everything was said and done I was informed that the person I slept with had hsv-2. Obviously I began panicking but she told me that she hadn't had an outbreak in 2 years and wasn't currently having one. I wore a condom as well (although from my research I read that they're not super effective in preventing transmission of hsv-2). She's also on meds for it. Now that it's been a few days I have been in a complete panic nearly every moment l've been awake. Taking extra anxiety meds (my doctor ok'd this dosage). I've spent countless hours googling every thing I could. Taken shower after shower which I know won't help. But I'm freaking out because I can't seem to find any clear or concise information that says what my chances are of having it or how long it would take to show up. I haven't been having any sort of symptoms that would indicate it yet besides some itching but it seems like that could be from the 8 30 minute showers in the last 3 days. Plus it's mostly in a spot where there was no contact. It is very minor and tends to happen only when I'm panicking. Today my throat started feeling a little bit sore and I once again can't help but think it's another symptom. Am I freaking out too much? What are the chances I actually contracted it? Can anyone share their experiences of their initial outbreak? I would also love some words of consolation/ encouragement because l'm absolutely terrified and embarrassed.

To make a very long story short; I can't have a bowel movement unless I squirt water up my butt, and to do this easily, I discovered I can use one of those bidet attachments. I have to go 5-6 times a day and I have to use the bidet every time to create a pseudo-enema. I say pseudo because it does not require saline solution like enemas from the store. Simply the water is enough to stimulate whatever muscle is failing.
I have a portable bidet that is just a little nozzle that attaches to any standard 20 oz water bottle. It doesn't even work that well, but I can use it in a pinch to at least get me out of a bad situation.
I've done countless pelvic floor therapy.
After several years, got an MRI which revealed a rectocele which is incredibly rare for males my age (mid 30s).
I had a sigmoidectomy because this all started with a microperforation due to diverticulitis 8 years ago. When I "healed" up, I was still in constant pain in lower left abdomen and this is when the issue with bowel movements started.
Had the sigmoidectomy summer of 2020 hoping it would help. It helped with the constant pain I was always in, but did not restore bowel movement ability.
Colorectal surgeon thought it might be nerve damage from the microperforation so we put in an Interstim which is a small electronic device installed in my lower back that sends a small electric signal to nerves in pelvic floor.. It also didn't help.
So I finally opted to have the rectocele repair and it mildly helped for about 3-4 months.
So at this point, I am over it. I have absolutely no life. I'm absolutely miserable all the time. I left my job of nearly 7 years so I could focus on the last 1.5 years of grad school to become a therapist so I at least have some sort of skill I can employ if I am stuck working from home.
8 years ago, when I had the perforation, if I had been rushed off to emergency surgery and woke up with a bag, I probably would've thought my life was over. I would 100% welcome it now as it would restore my quality of life. The thought of actually not having to use a port-a-pot at outdoor music festivals actually sounds kinda nice (for number 2, at least).
Because I do not have any autoimmune disease that causes issues with any section of the intestine, I don't imagine I would need a full removal. Probably whatever the simplest surgery is would be fine.

Hello all, I am not new to PC but I am new to high end pcs and liquid cooling and such and I am unfamiliar with most hardware pc things.
I just recently bought a new PC from BuildRedux because it was a good deal and I had heard good things, the parts as listed:
GPU: Nvidia Geforce RTX 3080 10GB
CPU: Intel Core I7-12700F 12-Core
Motherboard: Asus B660 Series Intel
Power Supply: either a 850w or 1000w atx 80 Plus Gold
Storage: 1TB NVME m.2, 2TB NVME m.2, and a 11 TB HDD
16 GB DDR4 Dual Channel
Cooling: 4 CM Masterfans plus a CM MasterLiquid ML24OL
It works really well as its quite the upgrade from my previous PC, a prebuilt Aurora R13 3060 TI edition, however I've run into a problem as of late that I can see my CPU reaching 80+ degrees Celsius, my GPU is no problem and rarely gets anywhere near too hot, but playing with mostly low settings on an FPS game like Rainbow Six Siege is putting me at 80 - 82 degrees Celsius even with my AC on, a small room cooler right in front of it pointing towards the intake fans, and a box fan blowing warm air out of the room. I do have quite a small room, so I figure there is quite a bit of heat that's getting trapped in here but is there anything I can do other than moving the pc out of the enclosed space?
I've felt my liquid cooling tubes and it seems to be working, all my fans are spinning, although in the fan control picture I provided you can see that most of my fans say 0 RPM or something outlandish like 2200 RPM, and I really don't understand why I'm not very knowledgeable. The highlighted area in red is what I use to gauge my CPU temp and when I see it hit 80 degrees Celsius I usually just let it stay but if it gets any higher consistently I let my computer cool down. And this temperature isn't caused by a buildup of heat either because it gets this hot usually in the first game I play.
I don't know if I just need to move into a bigger room and have the cords run all the way into this room, if I need more fans, if I need a better liquid cooler, if there is some settings I need to mess with, all I know is that I just want to play the games I like without having to worry every time about how hot my CPU is getting.

Read Part I
Read Part II
Sometimes, the past refuses to stay buried.
Two years have passed since my second encounter with the Bloodscrawl Butcher, the twisted manifestation of my own inner darkness. After extensive therapy and hard-won personal growth, I believed I had finally conquered the demons that had haunted me for so long. My life had resumed a semblance of normalcy, and the horrors of the past seemed to be fading into memory.
I'm Tom Baldwin, a former deputy sheriff of Cape Girardeau, MO. Although I left the force after my traumatic experiences, I found solace in the quiet life of a private investigator, helping people solve their problems without the daily exposure to the horrors I had known as a deputy.
But the tranquility I had found was shattered when the unthinkable happened: the Bloodscrawl Butcher resurfaced. This time, however, it was not a creation of my own fractured psyche but a living, breathing person who had taken up the mantle of the infamous killer.
The first victim was discovered on the outskirts of town, mutilated in the same gruesome manner as the original Butcher's handiwork. The chilling message, "You're next," was painted on the wall in blood, a stark reminder of the terror that had once consumed me.
As the body count began to rise, I found myself drawn back into the darkness I thought I had left behind. The new Bloodscrawl Butcher seemed to be taunting me specifically, leaving clues that only I could decipher, forcing me to confront the horrific legacy I had inadvertently created.
With a growing sense of dread, I began to investigate the new wave of murders, the ghosts of my past lingering at the edge of my consciousness. As I delved deeper into the case, I discovered a chilling connection between the victims: they were all people who had played a role in my recovery and healing.
The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. This new Bloodscrawl Butcher wasn't just emulating the original; they were targeting me, seeking to undo the progress I had made and drag me back into the abyss of my own making.
As the pressure mounted, I found myself struggling to maintain my hard-won mental stability. My nights were plagued by nightmares, and my days consumed by the hunt for the person who sought to destroy me.
The break in the case came when I received an anonymous tip, leading me to a rundown motel on the edge of town. With a mixture of fear and determination, I approached the location, unsure of what horrors awaited me within.
As I entered the motel room, I was greeted by a scene straight out of my darkest nightmares. The walls were adorned with newspaper clippings detailing my past encounters with the Bloodscrawl Butcher, along with photographs of the victims, their eyes filled with terror.
At the center of the room, illuminated by the flickering light of a single candle, was the killer's latest victim. Their body was mutilated beyond recognition, a message scrawled in blood above them: "I'm doing this for you."
The weight of the horror that had been unleashed in my name threatened to crush me, but I knew that I couldn't allow the new Bloodscrawl Butcher to continue their reign of terror. I had to face the monster I had inadvertently created and put an end to the nightmare once and for all.
As I delved deeper into the twisted mind of the new Bloodscrawl Butcher, I found myself retracing the steps of my own descent into darkness. The killer was clearly someone who knew me well, who had studied my past and sought to become the embodiment of my worst fears.
The final confrontation came on a stormy night, as I tracked the killer to a desolate stretch of woods outside of Cape Girardeau. The wind howled through the trees, rain pouring down in icy sheets as I made my way deeper into the darkness, my flashlight the only thing guiding my way.
I knew I was getting closer, my instincts honed by years of experience screaming that the killer was near. My heart pounded in my chest, the terror of the situation threatening to overwhelm me, but I couldn't allow myself to falter. I had to face this monster and end their twisted reign of terror.
As I approached a clearing in the woods, I caught sight of a figure standing in the shadows, their eyes fixed on me with a cold, predatory gaze. The new Bloodscrawl Butcher stepped into the light, and I was shocked to see a face I recognized all too well: my former partner on the force, someone I had once trusted with my life.
"Why?" I demanded, my voice barely more than a whisper as the rain continued to pour down around us. "Why are you doing this?"
My former partner let out a chilling laugh, their eyes filled with a twisted satisfaction. "I wanted you to feel the pain you caused," they replied. "I wanted to show you the monster you created."
As we faced off in the storm, I realized that my own past had come back to haunt me in the most horrifying way possible. My former partner had been consumed by the darkness I had left behind, and it was now up to me to put an end to the nightmare.
The battle that ensued was one of both physical and psychological torment, as I fought not only to subdue the new Bloodscrawl Butcher but also to confront the guilt and fear that had plagued me for years.
As we struggled, the rain lashing down around us, I could feel my strength beginning to wane. But just as I feared I would be consumed by the darkness once more, I found a reserve of inner strength I didn't know I had, fueled by the determination to put an end to the terror.
With a final surge of adrenaline, I managed to overpower my former partner, pinning them to the ground as the storm continued to rage around us. As I stared into their eyes, I saw the flicker of the person I had once known, a reminder of the bond we had once shared.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, my heart heavy with regret as I realized that my own past had played a role in the horror that had unfolded. "But this has to end."
With the new Bloodscrawl Butcher finally in custody, the nightmare was over. But the wounds that had been inflicted on my soul would never fully heal. I had faced the darkness within myself and within someone I had once trusted, and it had changed me forever.
As I walked away from the scene, the storm slowly beginning to dissipate, I knew that my life would never be the same. The horrors I had faced had left their mark, but I had also found the strength to confront my own demons and protect those I cared about.
The Bloodscrawl Butcher's reign of terror had come to an end, but the battle for my soul would continue, a constant reminder of the darkness that lurked within us all. And as I moved forward, I vowed to never let that darkness consume me again, determined to find a way to let the light back in.

Im numb
It's been two weeks. Two weeks since my ex said she doesn't think a relationship will work right now. We spent nearly two years together. We went from strangers to best friends and lovers to what feels like strangers again. She had a daughter who I got crazy attached to and loved seeing. But now I have nothing.
She pulled the rug out from under me and my whole world got rocked. I loved this girl more than anything. I feel pathetic for letting it get to me this much. I'm 30 and this was my first major relationship. I loved every second I had with her. I loved all the small little things she did when she was nervous or anxious or anything. I thought what we had was the best ever. She would always say "at our wedding....." or "i can't wait to see the future with you by my side". But I guess that was all wrong. I saw myself spending the rest of my life with her. That's all I wanted. I know right now wasn't the best time for either of us to even move in together but I honestly thought she was the one. We clicked on every level and understood each other. Nothing ever felt forced. Guess I was wrong
She said she doesn't have romantic feelings anymore. She loves me but isn't in love with me. I know she's had a rough few months. I know I was the first healthy relationship she's had in over 10 years (her ex was extremely abusive and controlling) but I feel like I fucked up and did something wrong for her to push me to the side so quick and become so cold and distant to me. We went from being best friends to total strangers within maybe 48 hours. I don't get it. I wish she would have talked to me about it all. I wish I could know what she was feeling and worked through it. I find myself wanting to message her during the day like I used to but I know I'm probably the last person she wants to hear from. We're still friends. I sincerely hope she just needs time to deal with what life has thrown at her within the last 3 months and maybe we can talk it out and get back together, but honestly I know that's probably never going to happen. I just wish I could tell her in person how much her and her daughter mean to me and that I never want to lose them but that won't happen. I'm hurt, I'm upset, I'm numb. To everything. I have no emotions and everything in life right now feels so exhausting.

Hi guys! so I have my altar in my room and I was just wondering if there are any rules that you guys go by, ive seen on some platforms that undressing near her is not okay? I thought it was a little odd just bc we're all human yk and we are all bone underneath pero if I'm wrong please correct me! I'm just curious about what you guys go by.
goodnight:)

I'm thinking of going to a psychiatrist or a therapist because I think I want to change. I have been shy my whole life and the main problem is in group settings I usually do not contribute or speak at all. If someone calls on me in a group setting (happening only at work currently in my life), my voice shakes, I have a lump in my throat, and I turn red. I know none of this is logical, no one is really thinking that much about me, and it's just a fleeting moment in time, however I've had these irrational thoughts my entire life and it's hard to change. I also find it very difficult to initiate certain conversations with people, I have this intrusive thought I'm bothering people so I don't talk to them. I have very low self esteem and I feel like I'm in the way all the time and a bother. I don't have thoughts of suicide but sometimes I'm just so sick of thinking this way. I haven't made a new friend in 6 years even though I live in the same area for the past 5 years. In college in group projects I would barely contribute and I'd get a 0 in the participation part. I never raise my hand or ask questions. I have trouble communicating sometimes, like a slowness, (not all the time). I have a few friends from high school and 1 friend college but in my current city I have no consistent friends. I can easily talk to guys for some reason and I go on a ton of dates usually without a problem from my standpoint, but when they realize I have no social life and realize I'm a loner, they don't want to continue dating me which is understandable. I feel like I'm better with 1-1 conversations with people. I'm incapable of approaching my manager and people I view as more competent or more attractive than me. I've been called quiet 100000x in my life and many people comment how I don't talk. I want to be social but my anxiety around talking to people is so intrusive I haven't initiated anything with new people like ever. I only hang out with my 3 friends but they don't live any where near me.

My girlfriend and I met each other about a year ago and she’s one of the best things to have ever happened to me. After being in toxic relationships in the past, she really showed me how a partner is supposed to love you. She has never judged any part of me and has always been by my side when I’m not doing well mentally. In the very beginning of our relationship we would be on the phone 24/7 including FaceTime and texting, we just couldn’t get enough of each other’s time. However, throughout time I came to notice how clingy she is, specifically if we’re spending time at each other’s places, I feel like I never get alone time with myself. First, I’m not sure if that’s a normal feeling and I hope that it isn’t toxic to want space to yourself while also being in the same space as your partner sometimes. To this day, we sleep on FaceTime together everyday and as of now I feel like I’m doing it for her sake. Especially because she has told me it’s harder for her to go to sleep if she’s not on the phone with me. But in all honestly, I rather not sleep on FaceTime with her everyday, but I feel guilty telling her that. I most definitely see ourselves going long term with each other, and in the past we have made plans to live with each other in the near future, but now I really don’t feel like I’m ready to not only move out completely from my parent’s house but also live with someone for the rest of my life, yet. I’ve always been an independent person and for as long as I can think, I’ve always valued my alone time. I’m an only child by the way, if that gives more context. I didn’t have siblings always there, unlike my girlfriend who’s the oldest and was the second mother for her siblings for most of her life. I didn’t grow up having to share a living space with someone at all in life so the idea of living with someone for the rest of my life in the next few years unsettles me. Her and I are currently long distance since she lives an hour away from me so we have to travel to each other. We’ve spent so much time with her each other and have gone on so many fun dates with each other, so that flame is definitely still there. My love would not change if I didn’t have to be on the phone with her everyday for hours on end, but I sometimes feel exhausted and at times I get overstimulated because I’m not able to be alone with just me and my thoughts for days because she could go for days with being around me 24/7. I feel this is very important to address between her and I because at some point I can see myself feeling trapped in the relationship if it doesn’t. How do I tell her this without making her feel like I don’t love her as much or I’m breaking up with her?

Hey all,
So a few days ago I(m28) had a one night stand. After everything was said and done I was informed that the person I slept with had hsv-2. Obviously I began panicking but she told me that she hadn’t had an outbreak in 2 years and wasn’t currently having one. I wore a condom as well (although from my research I read that they’re not super effective in preventing transmission of hsv-2). She’s also on meds for it.
Now that it’s been a few days I have been in a complete panic nearly every moment I’ve been awake. Taking extra anxiety meds (my doctor ok’d this dosage). I’ve spent countless hours googling every thing I could. Taken shower after shower which I know won’t help. But I’m freaking out because I can’t seem to find any clear or concise information that says what my chances are of having it or how long it would take to show up. I haven’t been having any sort of symptoms that would indicate it yet besides some itching but it seems like that could be from the 8 30 minute showers in the last 3 days. Plus it’s mostly in a spot where there was no contact. It is very minor and tends to happen only when I’m panicking.
Today my throat started feeling a little bit sore and I once again can’t help but think it’s another symptom.
Am I freaking out too much? What are the chances I actually contracted it? Can anyone share their experiences of their initial outbreak?
I would also love some words of consolation/encouragement because I’m absolutely terrified and embarrassed.

Starting Nursing this fall. Any advice?
Some context, I finished a bcem degree, went for a masters, didn't like academia, and went to work as a lab tech. Explored different career pathways and decided on nursing. I want to be more stable soon and start a family, as I'm nearing my 30s, but not while I'm studying.
Anything I should think about the profession? Or classes/labs/sims? I get the uni life, transition into work, and work life, and so should I bother with extra-curriculars while studying for the nursing field? Or should I just focus on clinicals? I've found extra-curriculars to be a hit or miss with landing a job, but correct me if I'm wrong.
Thanks in advance!

I’ve been to a psych ward twice already. The first time was a horrible experience and I was stupid enough to believe that the second time wouldn’t be as bad (it was worse). I tell everyone who asks about it that psych wards don’t help prevent suicide, they just make suicidal people less likely to talk about it for fear of going back which causes more suicidal feelings. I would rather die a long and painful death then ever go near one of those “treatment” centers again. I stupidly continue to have the slightest bit of hope every now and then, but this may be it. I can’t tell anyone because even hinting towards the idea will cause someone to be called on me to force me into a hospital against my will. I just want to find any alternative to a psych ward. Is my only option to just deal with it until I can’t?

Updates to Pokémon GO’s Remote Raids (pokemongolive.com)
Wow, I can't believe how hard they nerfed remote raiding.
So, full disclosure, ML is my favorite league and where it's easiest for me to hit legend. I grind hard to get those XL candies to power up legendary mons. Typically, I use pokiegenie to get help for these types of raids as my local group, at best, will do a single raid per day. I usually host a bunch, but do remote raiding too.
Going forward, I foresee it to be nearly impossible for myself to be able to get the necessary XL candy to power up a legendary pokemon in a single iteration of it being available. Part of the problem here is the whole XL scheme too, but I've ranted about that in other posts.
My thoughts are this:

1. new GBL players are going to have an even harder time competing in open ML due to level 50 legendaries being even more inaccessible to them
2. current ML players are going to feel the "grind" is getting close to impossible to complete in a single iteration when the legendary is available, and from there won't even bother trying, which could get many to think "why even play with this same set of level 50s because it's getting boring"
3. could have a negative trickle affect to UL, and maybe even GL
4. will take longer to get a hundo as most "grinders" wont be able to do nearly the same amount of raids as before

Thoughts?
I feel this will hurt GBL. Unsure about the game in general suffering too much as I think the F2P players won't care about the remote raid limits.

Age: 31
Sex: Male
Weight: 75kg (down from 85 a few months ago due to health issues). Athletic build.
Height: 180cm

2 months ago:

No major health issues, both physical and mental. Suspected intolerance to gluten. Always felt my nose is quite congested. Physically activity, gym 4 times a week. Drank alcohol several days a week and smoked occasionally. I have a large but benign kidney cyst.

Today:

Visual/sound symptoms:

Visual snow/static (persistent)
Light sensitivity (persistent)
Negative after images (persistent, worse at night)
Image trails (persistent but mild)
Sound sensitivity (occasional)
Tinnitus (most days)

Neurological/head:

Tension headaches (most days)
Anxiety/panic attacks (very high at first but considerably better)
Depression (mostly gone but persisted for the first few weeks)
Vertigo/dizziness (a few times a week)
Teeth clenching (always at the same time as feeling bloated)

Sleep issues:

Vivid dreams/nightmares
Generally poor quality sleep

Stomach:

Bloatedness (worse in the last week)
Slow digestion/constipation (only in the last week. Stool looks healthy but I have to take laxatives every day and nowhere near enough comes out)

Medications/supplements:

Tried a small dose of lamictal (10mg) and nortriptyline (10mg). Lamictal gave me horrible insomnia and nortriptyline made me feel depressed. Stopped both after a week.
Prednisone (5mg) for one week - this was to try and reduce nasal congestion
400mg magnesium (daily - since one month ago)
400mg vitamin b2 (daily - since one month ago)
300mg coq10 (daily - since one month ago)
Previously took a probiotic (Lyophilized Saccharomyces boulardii) but stomach issues got worse 2 days after starting.

Medical results

Two brain MRIs look normal. Blood tests show healthy red blood count and thyroid are normal. Stool tests showed a small amount of fungal cells but otherwise normal.

General

I'm pretty much at a loss as to what has happened. I've met some great doctors but they seem to mostly focus on specific issues rather than a holistically trying to work out what's going on.
3 months ago I had covid for the second time, but very mild symptoms.
2 months ago I get a respiratory illness.
The day after recovery, I have my first ever migraine with aura
3 days after this, I get a stomach bug (along with my partner) and have diarrhea
2 days into my stomach bug, after diarrhea stops I develop constipation (relatively normal for a stomach bug). At this point here, the visual issues start. 5 days later I develop headaches and pretty much everything else goes pear shared after.
I feel weak and drained from all of this. I can barely eat properly now due to the stomach problems and I haven't worked or socialised in months.
I know no one is going to be able to diagnose me over the internet with something so complex, but if anyone has any theories I would greatly appreciate it. I also would like to know if people think the probiotics could cause my problems, as the stomach issues started 2 days after. These have persisted despite me stopping the probiotics 5 days ago.

Growing up I always felt uneasy living on my highway. It was out in the middle of nowhere. My grandparents owned the only store that was close, which surprisingly being next to the highway and being the only store for miles, didn’t get a lot of customers. Honestly I didn’t think much of the strange occurrences. The lights coming on, scratches on the roof of my room, noise’s coming from the woods, and most of all, the deaths. A man had passed away in my grandparents room a few years before we moved in. But nothing ever came of it. A few years ago my grandma started seeing orbs or shadows. She said there was a light colored one and a pure black one and they never brought harm. But the black one would always seem to try and get to my grandma but the white one would stop it just before it could reach her. Around this same time I started to dabble in spirituality. Tarot cards, black salt, Greek mythology and such. I believed and still believe in ghosts, demons, angels, even skin walkers, or skinnies as I call them. I can recall a few instances where I truly cannot forget. The time a skinwalker was in the woods, waiting for me and my grandma to come even a step closer, strange occurrences when I was alone in the house, the uneasy feeling that something was always watching me, hell even the nightmares and times that I woke up in the middle of the night. The top 3 that terrify me the most, are the stories I’ll be sharing here.
Instance one : this was back in 2021. My neighbor had given me her 3 cats she couldn’t care for anymore. Well the two bobcats were outside cats while the other was was an inside cat. The inside cat got pregnant / was pregnant when we got her. She cared for the babies but one day she had went outside. She never came back. She always came back. We went looking for her near the wood lining but I didn’t see her. I had seen the back half of a cat however, and right after that, the flashlights me and my grandma had showed a little bit of a shadow and when I say that thing was huge. I don’t know what it is to this day, but I know it wasn’t a wild animal.
Instance two : I had watched a movie that was claimed to be haunted. I can’t recall the name of it but it was a weird movie. Well while watching it I was alone, and surprise surprise it was storming outside. Well halfway through the movie all the power went out and I heard a sharp screaming type sound blast through my headphones. I almost cried I’m not gonna lie lol. I don’t know if it was something to do with the movie I watched or what.
Last instance: the nightmares. I had just gotten comfortable sleeping in my own room due to past trauma. Well it was all good at first until the nightmares started. It was excruciating. I could feel the pain with each gunshot or cut or cat accident. My dreams were so vivid to the point I forced myself to pull an ungodly ammount of all nighters. Not to mention the times I would wake up to my speaker being on, or inclines in volume from the tv.
I’m not saying these instances are related to the abnormalities of life, or ghosts. But please. Whatever you do. Don’t move onto highway 441.

God I am so tired today. I'm a tenure SSV, and our regional came in today.
Here's the thing higher ups do not bother me. I do my job and I do it well and I don't get nervous sure maybe I'll put a bit more pep in my voice when the higher ups are in, but I'm a "business as usual" kind of person. But today I was seething by the end of my shift.
So first things first we got a new (to us) ASM, who is a very lovely person, but they are a less than five year partner and still is bright eyed about the bucks and oh God is she a standards stickiler. Which yes it us fine, there are things we needed to work on. But my store is unique in the fact we do 90k a week. A lot of standards when it comes to bar set ups just don't work for us. We needed a trash can near our hand off because customers will just throw their wrappers on to the ground and we don't have time for frequent lobby slides (we try for once an hour but hey when the going gets tough) but it is not to standard. And long story short she has been at my store for a week and has made so many changes because our regional is coming in and it "needs to be sirens eye so he and our DM can just focus on our growth".
Which side note out DM had not been in our store in six months and this is the most she has visited in the past week. Like okay so we are going to do all this work in a week to make her look good when we have essentially been running the store ourselves??
So anywho, my boss asks me to run peak during this day because I'm the "star ssv". Okay sure don't mind. Then pre peak they're adjusting how our plays run and the barista responsibilities. Like we don't run a CS. We don't have the labor for someone to be off the floor constantly, and sure we could do "go mode" but God damn nothing would ever get completed.
Instead of CS, we usually have four bar partners and a hand off person. Usually whomever is the support bar partner is in charge of restock for their "teams bar" and it works for us! We keep out drive times below 44 seconds during peak, we don't run out of product, and usually when it comes to the "CS tasks", we have baristas do a cycle task before they go on their break.
But since our regional came in, my manager tells me today we are going to be running CS because it's the standard 🫠 where a lot of my partners do not even know what the CS routine is or what CS partner is supposed to do. Uh. So yes let's bring back this routine? For the first time in two years? Because our RM is visiting?
Well surprise it doesn't go well.
And somehow it is my fault.
So I'm consistently getting coached throughout my shift. I am trying to explain that we should be doing things we usually do, and why are we "pretending to be something we are not" and essentially being told well "this is how it is supposed to be. Partners need to be planted". So we get baristas just standing around and wiping the counter down over and over again.
I think the fuck not. It doesn't work for us. We have been a pretty successful store for two years. Yes change things here or there but otherwise stand up for what works. Trust in my capability, trust in our team's capability. He wants to see the way we run, let him see how we run.
And oh God them telling me not to run breaks during their walk. part of the business is our breaks!! They gotta see what happens to floor when one person leaves. Jesus.
God I was so pissed off l by the end of my shift. At least I did a "good enough job".
Tldr; Regional comes in. DM wants us to change everything so we are absolutely to the starbucks standard last minute. Surprisingly, it doesn't go great.