Hello,
Wondering if I can get some guidance on what my next steps might need to be.
My vehicle is a 2015 X1 Xdrive 2.8 with about 96k KM currently. Last week there was a smoking smell I believed was due to the coolant level being very low. I've topped it up since then and ignored the subsequent smell as I thought it was the splash from the coolant that might have been burning off.
Driving a short distance today, I noticed there was a burning smell again (doesn't smell sweet - at least not to me) and some white smoke was coming from the engine area. I attached a couple of photos from where the smoke was coming from.
The oil level appears to be fine based on the onboard computer sensor.
Any suggestions? I'm feeling the pinch financially currently and am hoping I don't need some major repairs.
Thank you in advance

The boy next door is no longer an enigma.
No longer a mystery.
For the last few days, I have been laying low after Mrs Wilder kidnapped and threatened me in my own home. I’ve had barely any sleep and my lack of it has definitely disrupted my ability to write. I’m sorry if this update is messy or full of typos. I just don’t know what to do.
I’ve been a mess. I’ve been jumping at every movement. Every time there’s a knock on the door I feel part of myself splinter into pieces I can’t put back together. I did something crazy stupid two days ago. And that stupid mistake has fully exposed me to Mrs Wilder’s secret. What she is hiding behind her walls—and just how fucked I truly am if I disobey her again. Like I said, over the last several days I have been keeping my head down.
I went to school and did my homework and went to bed. That was it. When mom asked if I was talking to any Wilder kids, I shook my head. I had quickly grown afraid of Casper Wilder’s window. I knew something was wrong with him.
Something is wrong with his head.
He had told me. At least, the part of him which was bleeding between consciousness and a submissive state not being controlled by his psychotic mother. I saw him. I saw who he really was. I saw the boy next door crying out to me for help through bloodied fingers and cryptic messages splattered in scarlet. If he had intentionally hurt himself to get messages across to me, there was something he was fighting.
Mrs Wilder’s words were haunting me. The paper-doll rendition of me, blackened and smouldering orange between her nimble fingers-- I couldn’t get it out of my head.
So, I grabbed all the paper I could find and taped up my window, blocking him out. It sounds ridiculous. And it was. Because once I had spent over an hour feverishly taping pieces of paper over my window, I tore them down with a knot in my gut. When I clawed away the last piece of paper, I got a glimpse of Casper. His curtains were open, allowing me to see inside his room once more.
I saw a normal guy’s bedroom once again, guitars leaning against the walls, clothes strewn over the floor and sketchpads littering the bed. Warm light illuminated the window, and I wished what I was seeing was normal.
I wished I had seen nothing bad, and this was just the boy next door.
My completely normal neighbor.
But I couldn’t deny what I’d seen two nights ago. Casper Wilder wasn’t standing at his window with a twisted expression, a cocktail of pain and anger and confusion burning in mismatched eyes I was sure glinted with something metallic. Something man-made—which had been inserted, no, forced inside him.
I expected him to be awake. Even if it was just a single look in his eye which told me he was still there—still holding on. No. It was like nothing had ever happened. The window had been cleaned of blood, and there were no traces of the boy who had cried out for help. In his place was the Wilder son I had found friendship with. Before he cracked, and something inside him, something buried deep, deep, down, ignited. I missed that version of him. Who he used to be.
Because this guy was not Casper Wilder. I didn’t know who he was—and neither did he from the way he’d reacted days before. Underneath this name being forced onto him, there was nothing.
Just a broken kid with no name. No memory, except ones filled with her. I missed the personality Mrs Wilder was trying to hide. Who had told me she wasn’t his fucking mother, and sworn at me, his writing erratic and confusing, clawing into his head with this desperation to be let go.
Seeing him through the window at that moment, I realised, a sickly paste crawling up my throat, that all of that had been erased. He had returned to default. Casper was sitting on his bed playing guitar with a look of content, bed hair falling in sleepy eyes. He was wearing his glasses this time. His fingers moved up and down, feet bouncing to a beat I couldn’t hear.
Stumbling back, I tripped over my backpack with a shriek, which caught Casper’s attention.
When his head twisted around, empty eyes floating towards the window, I ducked. I couldn’t stop myself. After counting to ten, I slowly lifted my gaze.
He was still staring at me, and I noticed he’d stopped playing the guitar, fingers entangled in the strings. Casper’s smile had dimmed slightly. I wondered if seeing me brought something back. Maybe he remembered writing his own bloody messages on the window and trying and failing to speak through his mother’s control. The boy blinked at me before slowly getting to his feet. I didn’t see the chord thing this time. Casper strode over to the window, a giddy smile curling on the edges of his lips.
He pressed his palm against the glass, and I was already grabbing my notepad and a pen. But then his mother’s words sliced through my thoughts. I was back inside my lounge, foggy headed, the stink of pool cleaner still thick at the back of my nose and throat.
Mrs Wilder loomed over me, my paper-doll she had ravaged sticking from the doll-house on mom’s coffee table constructed from our letters. “I hope you understand that if you talk to, or even breathe the same air as my children again, I will rip you apart too.”
Her breath was heavy in my face. I couldn’t help looking at Mrs Becker for help, but her eyes were equally as cruel. I watched perfectly manicured nails pick up one of the four Wilder dolls, making it dance around in circles.
“Do you understand me, Phoebe?”
“Yes.” I said, my words twisted on my tongue.
“I… I understand.”
The memory was painful enough to feel physical knives digging into my gut. Mrs Wilder had made it clear that if I pursued her children, she was going to hurt me. Mom, too. I dropped my notepad and pen. Casper was still smiling at me. His eyes were vacant. He had no idea who I was after months of us talking. Mrs Wilder had taken all of it away. Including him breaking apart and waking up as a confused shell with no name. “Hello.” Casper’s lips mouthed the words, and I took several steps back, my heart in my throat.
He didn’t even blink. I watched his expression fail to flicker and wondered just how the fuck had I never noticed there was something wrong with him in the months I knew him. I watched him search his desk for a notepad and pen. Maybe seeing me was unravelling something inside him, I thought. Maybe I could try and wake him up again. At the back of my mind, however, I could still see my little paper doll’s head being torn off, its body ripped apart.
“What’s your name?” Casper had written in bubble writing. It’s like everything had been reset. His frenzied and wild eyes, that desperation to escape. Gone.
His handwriting was boiling my blood. Just looking at this perfect calligraphy which wasn’t even his. It had been forced onto him. Because Mrs Wilder expected this boy to be the perfect son, a creative prodigy like his siblings. I looked for a splinter in his eyes, just a glimpse that he was still in there. Still fighting whatever his ‘mother’ had done to him. But I saw nothing. I saw a blank fucking slate.
“Phoebe.” I mouthed.
Inclining his head, he scribbled a follow up message. “Can you write it down?”
Swallowing a lump in my throat, I shut my curtains, blocking him and his message out. Then I jumped into bed, turned off my light, and dreamed I was that paper-doll with no mouth to scream with, as Mrs Wilder slowly tore me limb from limb. The next day felt like a blur. I don’t think I snapped out of it until mom poked me with the prongs of her fork, tearing me from a scenario I was going over in my head.
If Casper was a prisoner, were his siblings too? I’d only caught a glimpse of Issac and Freddie Wilder. Mrs Wilder talked of being pregnant with four children. But she spoke like she had lost them. So, my guess was that she had kidnapped four teenager’s in their place—and was raising them as her dead children. “Are you okay, honey?”
Mom’s voice slid through my thoughts, and I realised I had been pushing my pasta around my plate. I wasn’t really hungry.
Mom had made this sort of red pepper spaghetti, but every time I tried to take a mouthful, I was seeing spatters of scarlet running from Casper’s temples, dripping down his face and smudged on the glass of his window. THUD. The image of him slamming his head into the pane, wild eyes and twisted lips, an agonising panic bringing him to the edge of hysteria caught me off guard, and my fork slipped through my fingers, tomato sauce slowly creeping its way back up my throat.
Fuck. I couldn’t forget about him. I couldn’t leave him and block him out after his mother had threatened me. Because if I didn’t help him, who would? It was my word against the town.
Mom cleared her throat
“Phoebe, are you listening to me?”
“Huh?”
“I said, have you been abiding by the rules?” Mom twirled pasta around her fork and took a dainty bite. Since joining Mrs Becker’s book club I had noticed a certain gleam in her eye. Like she was looking through me. “You haven’t been talking to the Wilder children, have you?”
“No.”
After three mouthfuls of spaghetti, I ended up with half of my dinner dripping down my face.
Mom grabbed a napkin, handing it to me. “Clean yourself up. You are seventeen, not seven.” Her expression softened. “Sweetie, are you okay?”
“Yes.” I said, struggling to appear it. I knew she could see my sleep circles.
“Have you been talking to the Wilder kids? I’ll know if you have.”
Technically, I had been communicating with him. But it was one-sided.
Still though, paranoia turned my thoughts against me. Shovelling down spaghetti, I spoke through a mouthful. “No.”
She handed me another napkin. “So, if I talk to Mrs Wilder…”
“Mom.” I grabbed her hand, squeezing it for dear life. Mrs Wilder knew, I thought dizzily. She must have known Casper’s attempt to talk to me, even if he was exactly who she wanted him to be. Still under her demented control. But it was confusing me just how she had that control. This wasn’t a movie or a TV show.
Mind control didn’t exist, right? And if it did, it was barely even a thing—induced by cocktails of drugs and torture. Casper didn’t look like he’d been tortured.
Except that thing inside his head… my thoughts grew foggy, and I was suddenly overcome with emotion. What I meant to tell her was all about what I had seen, and what Mrs Wilder had done to me. Though knowing what the woman was capable of, and thinking about that chord-like thing which surely had been forced into the back of Casper Wilder’s skull… “Can we just…move?” I choked out. “I want to move. I hate it here.” I gestured around.
“I hate this house. It’s too big, I feel like I’m lost every time I go upstairs. I hate school. The kids there freak me out.” Holding her gaze, I curled my lip. “And I hate our stupid neighbors.”
“Phoebe.” Mom’s tone darkened. “What did I tell you about being respectful?”
“It’s not like they can hear us!” I spat. “Did they fit cameras in here, mom? I wouldn’t be surprised! We’re under draconian rules!”
“Young lady, you are acting like a child.” She said stiffly. “Take several deep breaths and tell me what is wrong.”
“I’m fine.” I whispered.
“No, you are not.” Mom sipped red wine. “I know when there is something wrong with my daughter, and you cannot look me in the eye.”
I took a sharp breath and forced myself to stay calm. “Mom.” I sputtered through a sob. “It’s Mrs Wilder. She… she did something to me.”
Mom’s expression twisted. “What?”
“The other night,” I forced out. The images were flooding my head. Smouldering orange tearing its way through paper white. “She knocked me out, and she had this… dollhouse. And four paper dolls.”
I heaved out a breath. “She threatened me, mom. Mrs Wilder threatened me, and I need you to believe me.” I grabbed for her hand again, my own trembling. “Casper Wilder is not her son.” I said. The words felt foreign on my tongue. Wrong. They felt like a time bomb. “I think she kidnapped him. All of them. And she’s brainwashed them into thinking they’re her real kids.” There was a pause, and my mom’s expression didn’t change. So, I continued. “We need to call the police.” I reiterated. “Okay? You’re listening to me, aren’t you?” I swallowed sobs wracking my chest. “Because… you’re my mom. And you’re supposed to believe me.”
She surprised me with an eye-roll. “You are being ridiculous.”
THUD.
It felt like the walls were suddenly closing in. I could smell the stink of pool cleaner and Mrs Wilder’s perfume intoxicating my senses.
THUD.
I was seeing Casper slamming his head into his window once again, his eyes alive with a light I couldn’t understand. Like something was entwined inside his pupil.
THUD.
“Help me.”
God, it wouldn’t stop.
His voice. It was driving me crazy.
“I don’t know who I am.” Casper’s sobs echoed. “I don’t… I don’t fucking know who I am! I can’t remember… I can’t remember who I am!”
I could see his words clear in my mind, red scrawled against white until they were barely readable.
WHO.
AM.
I?
WHO AM I? WHO AM I? WHO AM I? I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM. THAT WOMAN IS NOT MY MOM.
I was going to be sick.
“Mom,” The words were choking from my mouth before I could stop them. I didn’t mean to sound so childlike, but that is exactly what I felt like. A child. I was alone. Drowning.
Looking at my mother’s curled lips, her eyes burning right through me, I felt myself start to come apart.
Like that stupid doll.
“Mom, please—”
She cut me off with a snort. “What? Is this because you're not allowed to talk to the boy next door? You’re creating your own narrative, and it’s… endearing. Childlike, but you are a child after all." Mom chuckled. “Sweetie, I know you love your mysteries, and sure, I can understand the cliché Romeo and Juliet thing going on, but really, there are plenty more fish in the sea. You don’t have to make up ridiculous scenarios.”
I let go of her hand, my toes curling. They didn’t sound like her words. They were someone else’s.
What was she talking about, ridiculous scenarios? Did my mother really think I was capable of imagining all of this shit?
I couldn’t reply. Not when part of me wondered if these were even her words. I had a strong suspicion my mom was just a puppet.
Like someone was talking through her.
“Do you like him?” Mom pressed. In her eyes, I could see Mrs Wilder was asking that question. “Is that why you’re being so… “ She trailed off with a sigh, and I glimpsed her fingers tighten around her wine glass, pressing enough pressure to leave marks on the rim. “Difficult?”
Mom’s lips splintered into a grin which wasn’t hers, and something inside me snapped. She was joking around.
When Casper was suffering, a prisoner of his own mind, my mother was treating me like I was fucking love-sick.
"No!" I shook my head. “No, I want to move.” I whispered. “I want to go back to our old house.”
“That’s not going to happen, sweetie. You know I can’t just leave my job. Phoebe, you’re a senior at school. You have SAT’S.”
“But—"
Her expression softened. “You’ll grow to like it. Don’t worry.” She said, before standing up and carrying our plates to the faucet. “I have a late shift tonight, so I expect your best behaviour.” I barely felt mom press a kiss to my forehead.
Her presence felt strange, like I wasn’t even seeing my mother. After what she said, I was sure her words were being pupiteered. When mom went to work, after yelling that there were leftovers on the counter, I was left with the soundtrack of a stupid dripping tap, and our humming refrigerator. I made several promises to myself in the time I was in the kitchen.
I would save Casper and his siblings, and then I’d force mom to drive all of us out of town. There were logistics I didn’t want to think about. These were feverish thoughts which controlled me. I had to get them out of that house. Time seemed to go by slowly. When I lifted my head from where I’d been staring at leftover meatballs I dropped onto the table, my phone vibrated in my jeans. Pulling it out, there was a DM regarding my post I wrote on here.
I read it. Then I read it again and again until I could process it.
“Film it. Literally get evidence of what is going on with Casper. You need people to believe you. And if people are going to believe you, you need to make a scene. If you want that house stormed, make as much noise as possible. I know it sounds stupid, but think about it like this. All you need is attention. Mrs Wilder can’t hide from the world if you show the world what’s going on. Good luck, Phoebe. Please be safe.”
-- A friend.
I was shaking when I knocked on the Wilder’s door fifteen minutes later. I knew exactly how to cause a scene.
Mrs Wilder answered, her expression cross between frustrated and bewildered. But I could barely focus on her, or the fact that she was holding a ladle like a weapon. The second the door opened revealing Casper’s mom drowning in a homely golden light, something slammed into me. Nothing physical, though it might as well have been. I forced myself to breathe through the stink which hit me like a brick to the face, suffocating my nose and mouth. Lavender. Not just lavender. The expensive flowers mom would get grocery shopping.
The ones which made me sneeze when I leaned too close. The house stunk of flowers—and that was just from standing on the threshold. But I knew better. I knew, once sweet smelling salts and flowers entwined in my senses, that the stink was to cover something up. And the more I edged closer over the threshold, the true smell of the Wilder house began to snake into my nose. Rot. I had once left a donut under my bed as a kid as an experiment to see if I could grow a whole new species. But this wasn’t mouldy food. It was far more potent. More like a decaying animal.
“Phoebe!” Mrs Wilder folded her arms across her apron. “I’m sorry, were my instructions not clear?” She cocked her head, an amused smile curving on her lips. She was triumphant, knowing exactly how to get under my skin. “Are you aware of what a restraining order is?”
Ignoring the smell choking the air, I held up my phone. “I’m live on Instagram.” I said. “Can I come in?”
I’m not sure why, but seeing her cheeks turn white made me feel like I was the one in control. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Live.” I repeated with a cheery wave. “On Instagram.”
I expected her to shove me back, or call out my bluff (yes, I was bluffing). Instead though, the women’s resolve seemed to crumble, her expression twisting, fear igniting in her eyes. She stammered for a moment, her gaze flashing to my phone before she wrapped her arms around herself and seemed to force a nod. “This is my house.” Her voice came out in a hiss.
Mrs Wilder was talking straight to the camera, and clearly faking terror. “Phoebe Daly, this is far past your usual games. This is… this is trespassing! Do you hear me? I’m calling the police!” Mrs Wilder didn’t call the police.
She held her phone to her ear but didn’t dare dial a number. I could see her options flitting across her eyes.
Was she going to attack me, or play it cool? Playing it cool, it was. With a face like thunder, she stumbled aside when I took a step forward and asked to be let inside. I wasn’t live on Instagram. I had barely 10 followers.
But she didn’t know that. Instead of being live, I was filming everything with my normal phone camera, angled at a height so she couldn’t slap it out of my hands. Watching her stumble back, panic twisting her expression into fury and frustration filled me with satisfaction. I had her. The crazy witch really thought I was streaming. I used that to my advantage, making sure to commentate to my imaginary audience as she led me down the main hallway, and I made sure to point the camera at everything I could see. Kids photographs covered neat paintwork.
But they were all different young children taken from a distance. Towards the end of the hall, what I saw did send my heart into my gut. And for a moment—just a brief second—I actually felt sympathy for Casper’s mom.
Four ultrasound’s.
I didn’t let the camera linger on them, instead going to the woman herself, who was following me, trying and failing to stall my effort to delve further inside the house. She stepped in front of me with a huff. “Phoebe. That is enough! You have terrorised me to no end!” her voice rose into a whine. “Whoever you are, Phoebe’s friends! This brat is targeting my children!”
“Casper!” I yelled, ignoring her. “Are you there?”
No answer.
My heart dropped into my gut, though I wasn’t giving up. I had the advantage, and I had to play to it.
“Casper!”
I ran up the first few steps leading upstairs, but Mrs Wilder seemed far too focused on shielding the door at the end of the hall.
“What’s in the kitchen?” I asked with a lump in my throat. Backing down the stairs, I made my way towards her.
“Nothing is in the kitchen!” she spat back, feigning innocence. “We’re having dinner if you must know. And you are ruining it!”
I shook my head. “This is Mrs Wilder,” I announced, pointing the phone at her. “She is holding four teenagers against their will and claiming them as her own children.” I said smoothly. When we reached a sliding glass door leading into the kitchen, I grabbed the handle with force.
Her rough hand slammed over mine, claw-like fingernails slicing my flesh. “Get out of my house,” she said stiffly. “Young lady, you are trespassing on my property.” Every word came out in globules of saliva hitting me in the face. “I have never met such a disruptive and outright disrespectful child without discipline. Your mother should be ashamed of herself.” She shot a nervous look at my phone camera.
“Where’s Mrs Becker?” I asked.
“What?”
Mrs Becker.” I repeated. “She helped you kidnap and scare me into staying quiet the other day. So, where is she?”
She spluttered, clearly caught off guard. “You are delusional!”
“Then show me them.” I said, pointing the camera at the door. “Your children, Mrs Wilder. I want you to show me Issac, Matilda, Freddie, and…” I swallowed hard. “And Casper.” Ignoring her steel grasp on the door handle, I pulled it open, trying to ignore the sudden squawking noise which had escaped her mouth, slamming into my ears. I can’t describe it. Mom has spoken about a mother instinct, and I wonder if it truly was that. This was animalistic. Feral.
Immediately, Mrs Wilder was behind me like a beast, her trembling arms trying to grasp hold of me and drag me back violently. But I was stronger, and desperate. I had to know the Wilder's secret. Stepping over the threshold, I was first aware of a far dimmer light. And when I fully focused on the room, I realised I was seeing candlelight. In front of me was a hardwood dining room table, and five chairs—four of which were occupied. The kitchen was a copy of our own. Except ours had always been lit up and bright.
It felt more like I was stepping inside a cave. An orangeade blur illuminated each face. Three out of four bodies sat stiff, almost… doll like. Mechanical. The way the three were facing me. Their expressions matched perfectly. Wide eyes and wider grins splitting lips apart. I drank each Wilder kid in slowly, as my brain struggled to take in the real horror of the room. What I was failing to fully take in. I couldn’t. I don’t think I could physically understand what I was seeing. I was aware my phone had slipped from my fingers, that I was paralysed to the spot.
The smell of stink and rot, I thought.
It was them.
I couldn’t move. There were three boys, and one girl. Matilda Wilder was a mousey redhead while her brothers were all brunettes. She wore a purple dress which fit her perfectly, her hair tied into pigtails with red ribbons. Issac and Freddie Wilder sat shoulder to shoulder.
They were the twins, I thought dizzily. They were identical twins in Mrs Wilder’s eyes, but these guys looked nothing like each other—one of them sporting a handsome face and razor jawline, while the other had an odd looking nose and jutting chin. Still though, I could tell Mrs Wilder had made an effort to make them look… beautiful. Perfect. I could see her attempt at stitching their lips together.
It wasn’t their appearance that was gluing me to the ground, however. Because looking closer, past the made-up faces on both the boys and the girls, the ribbons and fancy clothes and empty eyes staring right through me, soft candlelight was slowly bringing them to life in front of me. These kids had been hidden away for so long, and I was finally seeing them for who they were. My gaze flicked to each of them. I was seeing… stitches. I was seeing rugged stitches and gashes in their flesh, patchwork skin making up fingers and elbows and cheeks. They had been taken apart over and over again and put back together.
Matilda’s neck was a collage of flesh, rugged markings where a marker pen had clumsily sliced into her skin and pieced her like a jigsaw through mangled body parts and anything left over. Freddie and Isaac’s heads were cocked at an angle, and looking closer I glimpsed the bad stitch-job which had knitted them together.
I could see it in all of them. None of these kids were their original selves. They reminded me of dolls built through old doll pieces. I didn’t know I was screaming until the gravity of the situation hit me, and I realised I was suffocating on dead skin which made them up, their bodies stitched and knitted together, transforming them into her ideal children. Flickering candlelight revealed the last Wilder kid.
There were two significant things which were different about Casper.
The first, was that he must have been her most recent. He was her most… original—and the second? Unlike the others, he was awake.
Until that moment, Casper had been sitting amongst his siblings, head cocked to the side like the others, catatonic.
His dazed eyes slowly found mine—and I glimpsed recognition flickering in his expression, his rigid body starting to contort back to life. He was her paper-doll.
But Casper wasn’t finished.
“Phoebe?” When the boy spoke, his voice was barely a whimper. Frenzied eyes flicked from Matilda to Issac and Freddie, all of which were still wearing their perfect smiles. I noticed the rugged skin of his neck, and my heart sank.
Something was moving behind him, and I forced myself to step forwards. I glimpsed that same chord-like thing. This time it was fully attacked to him. No, it was buried directly inside his head. A sour paste crept up my throat when I saw the carnivorous hole burrowing deeper inside his head. I could glimpse the intense white of chipped skull and a strange looking fluid leaking out —but it looked… wrong. I’ve always imagined the internals of someone’s brain to be pinkish grey. Though what I was seeing was more like a black ooze sliding down the back of his neck. It reminded me of squid-ink. Definitely not blood.
It looked like he had been shot in the head, or had been pulled out of the operating theatre mid-surgery. And somehow, he was still alive. Just like the description, the chord-thing seemed to be attached in two places—to the back of the head, directly on the brain, and stapled to his spine. The device was humming, but I don’t think it was working.
Casper was looking directly at me, and the way his body was angled was different to his siblings. Instead of sitting straight, he was trying and failing to jump to his feet, his eyes wide, almost unseeing. I could see that frustration and anger, that pain from the other night alive in his face. I opened my mouth to speak, though Casper was already lifting a trembling hand, his fingers twining around the chord and giving a pathetic tug. A thin line of dark red, almost black, slid from his nostril.
I knew it was him. “Can you… can you get… it… out?” His hand found the chord again, and his grasp slipped. “Please.” He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. “There’s something… in my… my head, and I need you to… I need you to fucking get it out…. right now.”
“Casper.” I couldn’t resist a relieved hiss. “This woman.” I twisted and pointed at Mrs Wilder.
“Who is she to you?”
The kid blinked, his eyes narrowing. He jolted, twisting around to try and see the thing attached to him. “Why would I know her? Get this shit out of my head!”
He let out a hysterical yell. His cry was more of a demand, and that nameless boy underneath splintered doll pieces began to unravel.
“Get it out.” He kept repeating. “Fucking get it out! There’s something inside my head!”
I nodded, choking back a cry.
He slammed his hands down, but seemingly couldn’t move from the chair. “What the fuck.” He side eyed the others. “What the fuck is this?”
I struggled to answer without screaming myself. “Stuff.” I managed to get out through a sputter. “Can you stand up?”
“What?” He blinked rapidly at me, I was seeing it again. That odd light flickering in his pupils.
“No. I can’t move!”
The humming grew louder, and at the corner of my eye, that thing seemed to dig deeper inside his head.
More blood spurted from his nose, and I could tell that he was fighting it.
The boy’s eyes found mine, his words tangling into an almost slur. “Get it out! I can’t… I can’t fucking think straight. I…. I….”
His eyes rolled back for a moment before he shook his head, lunging against the chair. His head twitched. “I don’t know I am.”
I couldn’t move. Watching this thing take control in real time, it was both fascinating and horrifying, sending my knees buckling.
“Who… who am I?”
His whole head twitched, like he was glitching.
“I know her. I… I know her. I’m her… I’m her son… I’m her s—son.”
Casper hummed, his twitching lips pricking into a demented smile. “I’ll always know her. She’s the one who… who s---saved me.”
Choking on a shade too vivid and dark to be blood, he sputtered, his head drooping.
“Mom?” Casper spoke through mouthfuls of pooling black. He lifted his head, unseeing eyes blinking in dim candlelight. The chord-like thing sounded more like it was drilling into his brain, and I knew I was fucked when his lips spread out into a childlike smile, and he swayed to the left and then the right, the light in his eyes burning. “There’s… water.” He whispered. “So… so cold. I’m so cold.” His voice broke.
“I don’t… want to be cold.”
“You won’t be cold.” Mrs Wilder’s voice was a sharp cry behind me. “Ever again. Your mom is here.”
“Promise? You n… need to… prom…promise me.” His teeth chattered. “You need to… tell me… I won’t… be cold. That my mom… is coming.”
“I promise, darling.”
“Mommy?”
“No,” I swallowed back frustrated tears. “Casper, she’s not your mother!”
His next words split into a guttural screech which almost sent him toppling off of the chair. He grabbed at his head, clawing at face.
But the more he was tugging, the machine fought against him. I could see metallic clamp-like legs stubbornly holding on.
His next words were mangled between cries from his conscious self, and whatever the fuck his ‘mother’ was forcing into his head.
And yet it barely grazed my ears. I was trying to figure out how to get that monumental THING out of his brain. There was no way I could just pull it out. That could kill him, right?
I started forwards to grab him, to try and pry the clamp off his spine, before I was being smothered with the stink of rich lavender. I hadn’t noticed Mrs Wilder swipe up my phone. She was holding it up in the air. “Live? You were never filming anything, you stupid girl! Do you understand what you have done?” She laughed—and I mean cackled like a witch. “I warned you, didn’t I?”
I got one last glimpse of Casper. His whole body was jerking under the chord inside his head, but he wasn’t crying out anymore.
Before I knew what was happening, I was being dragged back, and in front of me a Wilder boy shoving his struggling brother back into the chair. I didn’t have time to cry out.
With strength I had no idea the crazy bitch had, I was being violently yanked by my hair. And while I was flailing, I saw the ultrasound’s once again. Looking closer though, each one had a different name. A different mother. My head spun. That couldn’t be right. Mrs Wilder told me she was pregnant with four children, so who’s ultrasound’s were these? And why had she framed them? I didn’t have time to check it out.
I was dumped on my ass and the door was slammed straight in my face. I tried to get back in, throwing my fists into the door, until my own mother’s arms were pulling me back. I was hysterical. I couldn’t breathe, and mom wasn’t getting through to me. I’d kicked and thrown myself into the door, attracting the attention of our neighbours. That’s what I wanted. I wanted one of them to call the police, and when I picked up a brick, struggling against mom’s attempt to restrain me, and throwing it through the Wilder’s front window, I finally got it.
Two cops arrived, and I was so relieved I almost sobbed into one officer's chest. While my mom was trying and failing to explain my “breakdown” I begged them to take a look inside. And I was loud. I was screaming.
Which they couldn’t ignore.
“Phoebe!” I was partially aware of mom’s voice trying to calm me down, but I all I could see was that thing in Casper’s head, and his siblings made from knitted flesh. When the officer’s exited the Wilder’s house after five painful minutes waiting, I stumbled over to the two.
“Well?” I demanded, shoving away my mom. “Did you see them?” I yelled. “She’s turned them into… into dolls!” I was already going on a tangent, hysteria plunging me further into my own insanity.
“They’re not her children.” I gritted out. “She kidnapped and.. and stitched them up like… like Frankenstein! Mrs Wilder likes dolls! She had this paper-doll of me when she kidnapped me and lit it on fire to threaten me because I was talking to Casper. And he… he’s one of them, and not even her son! She’s controlling his mind with this thing stuck inside—"
“That’s enough!” Mom snapped.
The officer in front of me chuckled. “Breathe, kid!” He said. “Jeez. You’re not even giving us time to talk.”
“What?”
Instead of speaking to me directly, the officer turned to mom. “There’s nothing out of the ordinary, ma’am.” He said. “The Wilder’s were enjoying a family dinner, and…” his gaze flashed to me. “Well. It appears someone ruined it. There are no current reports of child abduction.”
I couldn’t resist a laugh. “Are you serious? Did you not… did you not see—”
He cut me off. “There they are!” He chuckled. “The Wilder siblings!” The officer saluted the four of them who had wandered outside trailing their mother. Ignoring the other three, I made my way over to Casper. But he looked… I don’t know, he looked like he usually did through his window? There were no stitches or patchwork skin. He was wearing a beanie, and I reached to yank it off, when his hand caught mine.
He was freezing cold.
His skin felt almost slimy, like I was touching the skin of a dead fish. I wanted to hold on, to force the cops to believe me, but he was already speaking—his voice was different, a lot deeper than the hysterical cry of the boy underneath. “Mom?” Casper’s eyes were cold. He shoved my hand away before taking a shaky step back. Like I was crazy. He quickly joined his siblings.
“Who is this girl?”
“We’re going home.” Mom said, grasping my arm. “Can’t you see you’ve embarrassed me enough?”
“Phoebe, huh?”
I turned to find the other Wilder kids. The guy with the jawline still had that doll-like smile. “Please leave our brother alone.”
I couldn’t resist spitting at him. “He’s not your brother. You’re brainwashed.”
Something in his expression seemed to twitch suddenly. Mom tried to pull me back, but I stubbornly stayed where I was.
Issac or Freddie cocked his head. “Brain... washed?"
He started to speak, before Mrs Wilder ushered them all away. But I did notice him turn back to frown at me.
Needless to say, I was grounded—and threatened with a restraining order.
That didn’t stop me peeking through the gap in Casper’s curtains that night. I caught him stumbling around, struggling to get the chord-thing out of his head with manic hands. He came over to the window several times, his bloody hands slamming into the window before slipping away. I'm not sure, but I don't think he knew why his legs kept drawing him to the window.
Mrs Wilder joined him soon after, forcing him to bite into something plastic, as she led him to sit on the bed, her fingers wrapping around the chord, and yanking it out. I didn't hear his scream, but his reaction to it, body writhing, eyes squeezing shut, I knew he could feel it. And part of him was awake. Just part of him.
Not the parts who knew our window sessions and his horrifying reality.
Casper came to his window all bandaged up. He didn’t hold up a message, and his eyes were vacant.
Though his expression told me everything I needed to know.
Engines woke me up several hours later. It was midnight. Sliding out of bed, my gaze went straight to Casper’s window. But it was dark. I pressed my face against my own window and glimpsed Mrs Wilder standing on her lawn in her robe.
A car pulled up, and the cop from earlier jumped out. In his arms was what looked like a body bag. He dropped it on the ground. “Freshly dead.” He said, when I opened my window to hear what was being said. “Car crash. Victim is male. Eighteen years old.” He folded his arms with a light laugh. “I got him straight from the morgue. His parents think there’s no body.” Both of them knelt next to the bag, and Mrs Wilder zipped it open with a hiss.
When the bag jolted suddenly, I realised the body was still alive.
The officer stumbled back. “Jesus. I didn’t even use that much. You said a single shot, right?”
“Mmm.”
Mrs Wilder pulled out a carving knife from her robe, and I felt my entire body turn to ice.
The cop raised a brow. “You came prepared.”
She sighed, her hands on her hips. “He’s spare parts. The expiry is approaching which is why they’re… acting out.”
With startling precision, she aimed the knife above what I guessed was the body’s head, before bringing it down with a sickening crunch. The bag stopped squirming.
I can’t remember anything else from that night.
My mother was gone the next morning. A paper doll replica of her was sitting next to a note and a plate of freshly baked cookies.

“Dearest, Phoebe.
I baked these thinking of you! And my, you should be grateful I have even bothered to do this after playing your games last night. Honestly, I am not the monster you think I am. Your mom asked me to let you know she will be busy with me for a few hours.
I’ve been asked to take care of you, so here are some chocolate cookies! Please maintain the rule I set in place and do not go near or talk to my children. I’m sure you know what will happen if you happen to slip up. I took the liberty of asking your mother to fit specialised devices in your room so I know when you are talking to my son. Writing equipment has been taken away. I hope we can be friends and I can start calling you my daughter. If something were to happen to your mom, do not worry. I will take you in. I want you to remember that.
Love,
Mrs Wilder.
PS: I can’t wait for you to (not) meet my newest son!

Hi -
Currently have 2 units with 5 bedrooms each and recently upgraded. Rent is $600 with utilities, willing to work on the price for those interested. Home is in walking distance of nursing school and pharmacy school. The home also comes with a 4 car garage and large drive way. Let me know if you’re interested.

Bonus if there's a great view!
edit- and a solid breakfast joint recommendation post-hike? Thanks!

Strength

Striking

• Kicks down a door⁵
• Flicks an eraser into Shirou hard enough to flip him out of his seat⁵
• [Tiger Dojo] KO's Fujimura with a kick⁵

Other

• [General] Beat Mitsuzuri in every kind of physical test except lung capacity⁵
  • Mitsuzuri is skilled in martial arts and the archery club captain
• [Lifting] Drags Shirou by the neck⁵

Durability

Blunt

• Gets crushed by Berserker⁵
• Punched by Kuzuki⁵

Esoteric

• [Electricity] Zapped by an Einzbern Castle trap⁵
• [Mental] Resists Berserker's immobilizing aura⁵

Endurance

• Ran for an hour⁵
• Her Magic Crest physically won't let her die⁵

Speed

Agility

• Climbs a tree⁵
• Jumps out of an alley as fast as Lancer (most likely hyperbole)⁵
• Jumps down a flight of stairs⁵
• Covers a few meters in a leap⁵

Movement

• Avoids Shinji⁵
• Barely dodges Lancer's charge⁵
• Dodges one attack from Saber⁵
• Easily hits back 120kph-traveling baseballs⁵
• Dodges Dark Sakura's Shadow projectile⁵

Reaction

• Blocks Illya's reflected blast that Illya couldn't react to⁵
• [Limit] Gets blitzed by Kuzuki but manages to mitigate the damage of his punch by jumping back⁵

Travel

• Moves as a blur⁵
• Dashes with "Saber-like speed"⁵
• Blitzes Sakura⁵
• [Bad End] Moves between Shirou and Berserker's sword⁵

Magic

General

• Archer says she's the strongest Master⁵
• A normal magus would pass out after summoning a Servant⁵
• Shirou believes she is approximately six times the mage he is⁵
• Caster admits that Rin forced her to try a little⁵
• Has 500 units of Magical Energy, with her lifetime cap likely at 1000⁵
  • However, she can only use 80% of that
  • In Heaven's Feel, her capacity is 300
• Has the same amount of Magic Circuits as Sakura⁵
• Would beat Sakura 10/10 times in a magecraft battle⁵
• Skilled at transformation of power⁵
• Her attribute is 'the five elements'⁵
• Keeps her magical energy stored in her hair⁵

Azoth Dagger

• A ceremonial knife⁵
• Shirou using it punches it into Kirei and kills him after releasing its magical energy⁵
• Shirou using it lands the final blow on Saber Alter⁵
• After infusing all of her gems into the Azoth Dagger, it has a hundred times Shirou's Magical Energy capacity⁵

Bounded Field

• Sets an alarm system on her house⁵
• Puts a soundproof barrier up that traps Shirou in a classroom⁵
• The max size of her Bounded Field is equivalent to a classroom⁵
• Puts up a soundproof Bounded Field that could keep a missile detonation silent, supposedly⁵

Command Spells

• Makes a Command Spell with a wide limit affect Archer to the point that he drops a rank if he goes against her orders⁵
• Warns her if she's being watched by another Master⁵
• Feels Archer die⁵
• After giving her two Command Spells, Saber destroys the Grail mass⁵
  • This blast also tore apart the remains of Shirou's Unlimited Blade Works

Defense

• Her Magic Circuits protect her from theoretically getting melted by Rider's Bloodfort Andromeda⁵
• Blocks Illya's reflected blast⁵
• Doesn’t seem affected by Caster’s gas⁵

Familiars

• Has an owl familiar⁵
• Created a jade bird familiar⁵

Gandr
Properties

• They're high-caliber pistol strength⁵
• Shoot at sonic speed⁵
• She makes them stronger after Shirou calls her fat⁵
• Would give a normal person a cold for two days⁵
• She can lower the intensity if need be⁵

Usage - Objective

• Cracks a stone wall⁵
• Leave fist sized burn marks⁵

Usage - Scaling

• Defeated a group of Dragon Tooth Warriors without taking any injuries⁵
• Goes through the walls of a classroom⁵
• Destroys a classroom with rapid fire shots⁵
• Breaks Rider's chain⁵

Gear - Jewels
Properties

• Places her blood into gems to form magic bullets⁵
  • Her family is especially good at this
• The magic she puts into them is dyed in the jewels' attributes⁵
• She can melt them⁵
• Can store others' magical energy in gems, or things that aren't magical energy⁵
• Jewels are the most compatible storage space⁵
• She's the only one that can convert her gems⁵

Pendant

• Holds the equivalent of ten years' magical energy⁵
• "Pretty much anything is possible with the energy in this"⁵
• Saves Shirou's life after Gae Bolg pierced his heart:⁵
  • What she did
• Gives Shirou one final burst of energy to swim up⁵
  • The wound threatens to reopen, but this could be a property of Gae Bolg⁵

Top Gems

• A topaz with a wind spell is strong enough to level a house⁵
• Her ten ultra gems can each create the equivalent of an A-Rank attack⁵
• Three max-power gemstones have enough power to blow away a mansion⁵
• Freezes Berserker's arm⁵
• Melts Berserker's face with five max-power gems⁵
  • Gore hits Shirou, who is 10m away
  • Pierced his spine
  • Takes one life
• Resisted Berserker crushing her by placing one of her max-power jewels on her stomach⁵
• Cancels out Caster's wind and electricity spells, these of which were capable of roasting the entire church basement⁵
  • If she was only defending herself, the jewels would be able to protect her three times before breaking, but because she's defending Shirou, it breaks after one
• Boosts her top gem attack with another top gem to amplify their power⁵
• With two gems protecting her, wades through the mud of the Grail, though the gems apparently do not help⁵
  • It was a 30m journey
  • Shirou believed he could take one step into it and would instantly die, and just looking at the stuff would make one fall unconscious
• Wading through a lake of fire would be no problem with her jewels⁵

Gear - Other
The Blade of Zelretch

• The original one brought down Crimson Moon⁵
• Utilizes over 100,000,000 units of Magical Energy⁵
• Destroys Sakura's shapeshifters⁵
• Shreds her arm muscles with every swing⁵
• Blows it up⁵
• It’s an heirloom that harvests magic from infinite parallel universes⁵
• Shakes the foundation of a cave⁵

Other

• A book that shows the parameters of a Servant to its Master⁵
• An ether cluster⁵

Magic Crest

• Initiates a spell that lets Shirou give his Magic Circuits to Saber⁵
  • This digitalizes Shirou's consciousness
• Transfers it to Shirou, which has a side effect of letting him see her memories⁵
• Puts a portion of it on Shirou to dampen his magical energy, in order to protect him from the Shadow and the terrible influence Archer's arm has on him⁵

Medicinal

• Gives Shirou painkillers⁵
• Treated her own wound from Kirei⁵
• Knows how to heal a girl who had her life force drained⁵
• Applies styptic and painkiller to Shirou's arm wound⁵
• Healed Shirou's dead nerves, and has flesh-replacing ointment⁵
• She heals at 7x the usual rate if buried alive on her estate's land⁵
• [Limit] Can't heal the wound made from Saber running Shirou through⁵

Power

• Puts enough oomph into her Gandr to make them immediately effective⁵
• Has enough mana for Saber to fire an Excaliblast twice⁵
• Could create a spell superior to the Matou worm pit after six months⁵
• [Limit] Can only drain, not erase, Rider's unactivated Bloodfort Andromeda⁵
• [Limit] Freezing Grail mud is beyond her level⁵
• [Good End] Provides Saber with mana after the Grail's disappearance⁵

Prestidigitation

• Fixes Shirou's window⁵
• Can hide her presence⁵
• Knows "the popular spells"⁵
• Increases the volume of her voice over the phone⁵

Senses

• Hears her living room clock while in her basement⁵
• Senses Archer's magical energy⁵
• Extends her consciousness to search for her watcher⁵
• Feels Shirou watching her from the bottom of a skyscraper⁵
  • Shirou is only using a little amount of magical energy to do this
• Intuition tells her Archer will lose to Lancer's Noble Phantasm⁵
• Senses Berserker's arrival⁵
• Senses that Ryuudou Temple is no longer drawing in magical energy⁵
• Senses the main sigil for Bloodfort Andromeda is on the first floor while on the fourth floor⁵
• Feels "some humanity" in Shirou's Bounded Field⁵
• Sees Einzbern Castle when Shirou can barely make it out⁵
• Can tell Gilgamesh's true nature simply because he seems rich⁵
• Knows how far Caster is above her in terms of potential⁵
• Her instincts are as good as Sakura's⁵
• [Limit] Can't sense that Shinji is a Master because he doesn't have Magic Circuits⁵

Bad Ends

• Created a jelly trap for Shirou⁵
• Immobilized Shirou with a bad cold thanks to a Gandr shot⁵
• Wipes Shirou's memories of the Holy Grail War⁵
  • Does it to Fujimura too
  • Takes Shirou's Command Spells
• Releases Shirou from Caster's prison⁵
• Puts a geas on Shirou that makes him follow her orders for as long as the Grail War lasts, which prevents him from keeping her from killing Sakura⁵
• [Tiger Dojo] Her severed head can fly⁵

Other

• Emits a wave of enmity infused with magic⁵
• Contracts Saber⁵
• Keeps Archer's presence hidden completely within the bounds of her house⁵
• Figures out Shirou's element is not of the usual five⁵
• Could give herself Mystic Eyes to force Shirou to fall asleep⁵
• [Limit] Can't use projection⁵

Skill

Martial Arts

• Beat up Shinji⁵
• Whoops Caster in a physical battle⁵
• Can last a minute against Caster⁵
• Beats up Shirou with a pillow⁵

Other

• Cooks good Chinese food⁵
• Falls asleep standing up⁵

Intelligence

• Calculates the distance and speed she's falling⁵
• Analyzes Lancer's tactics⁵
• Knew what happened to Shirou and Saber⁵
• Anticipated Berserker's movements⁵
• Found Bazett's secret base⁵
• Can tell how old bloodstains are⁵
• Finds the general area where Einzbern castle is⁵
• Performed neurosurgery⁵
• [Bad End] Placed a trap in the path she knew Shirou would take⁵

Misc

• Forces the student council treasurer to take a week off⁵
• Sucks at rock paper scissors⁵

Hollow Ataraxia Stuff

Semi-canon
Strength

• Throws a punch in 0.2 seconds that might have fractured Shirou's cheekbone^HA
• Smashes a phone^HA

Speed
Agility

• Climbed Fuyuki Bridge^HA

Movement

• Throws a punch in 0.2 seconds that might have fractured Shirou's cheekbone^HA

Magic
Gear - Jeweled Sword

• Botched an attempt to create a Jeweled Sword by herself^HA

Gear - Kaleidostick

• The Kaleidostick can download skill sets from parallel copies of its wielder^HA
• Teleports Shirou into a dream world^HA
• Brainwashes Rin^HA

Gear - Other

• Creates a potion to suppress her Magic Crest^HA
• Has a chest with unlimited space, in which time flows differently^HA
  • While inside, one can make phone calls to different universes
• MIPS^HA

I just started shipt again recently. I noticed the only way I can really get orders is the open metro but I don’t want to drive 15+ miles for orders but the problem is the open metro are taken so fast I literally can’t wait 5 seconds to just look at items and distance I have to click and accept right away. Is it ok to keep dropping orders right after accepting?

Hi Friends! I’m making my first long distance move later this summer- moving from Philly to Tulsa. I’m massively downsizing and selling pretty much everything except my couch, mattress, desk, some art and a few boxes of books.
I have ADHD and driving can be challenging in the best of circumstances- driving a vehicle like a u-haul absolutely terrifies me and I’m trying to determine the most cost efficient way to move. I am planning on driving to Tulsa as i have two cats and flying sounds like actual torture with them 😂
What has been others experiences with long distance movers, pod type services, freight shipping? For those who have utilized pod-like services how did you manage in a city?
I’m also super open to other avenues and am pumped to hear your experiences
Thank you!

Saitama Kent: Strengths:
Superhuman strength, speed, and durability make him nearly invincible against physical harm.
Flight allows him to travel great distances quickly and easily.
Immense capacity for physical exertion allows him to perform feats beyond human limitations.
Kind and caring personality motivates him to use his powers for good and protect innocent people.
Weaknesses:
Inability to drive or use weapons may limit his mobility and fighting capabilities in certain situations.
Overconfidence in his abilities may lead to underestimating opponents and getting caught off guard.
Diego Ketchum: Strengths:
Advanced navigation skills and the ability to fly make him an effective explorer and adventurer.
Mastery of martial arts and ki manipulation make him a formidable hand-to-hand combatant and energy attacker.
Instant transmission allows him to quickly travel to different locations and evade enemies.
Weaknesses:
Inability to drive or use weapons may limit his effectiveness in combat situations that require long-range attacks.
Slower speed and weaker physical abilities compared to other characters may make him more vulnerable in close combat.
Demetrios: Strengths:
Superhuman strength, archery and horseback riding skills make him a formidable physical combatant.
Philanthropic organization and Bat-Suit provide him with resources and protection while fighting crime.
Mastery of multiple fighting styles make him a highly skilled martial artist and hand-to-hand combatant.
Weaknesses:
Inability to use guns may limit his effectiveness in combat situations that require long-range attacks.
Reliance on technology and gadgets may leave him vulnerable if they fail or are compromised.
Trevor Bellic: Strengths:
Expert driving, climbing, and acrobatic skills make him highly mobile and adaptable in any environment.
Master firearms and swordsman abilities make him a deadly combatant with any weapon.
Great aim and shooting percentage increase his accuracy and lethality.
Weaknesses:
Inability to drive may limit his mobility and effectiveness in certain situations.
Potential for erratic behavior and impulsiveness may lead to unpredictable actions and consequences.
View Poll

This is from the California Vehicle Code:

ARTICLE 2. Headlamps and Auxiliary Lamps [24400 - 24411] 24400.
(a) A motor vehicle, other than a motorcycle, shall
be equipped with at least two headlamps, with at least one on each side of the front of the vehicle, and, except as to vehicles registered prior to January 1, 1930, they shall be located directly above or in advance of the front axle of the vehicle. The headlamps and every light source in any headlamp unit shall be located at a height of not more than 54 inches nor less than 22 inches.
(b) A motor vehicle, other than a motorcycle, shall be operated during darkness, or inclement weather, or both, with at least two lighted headlamps that comply with subdivision (a).
(c) As used in subdivision (b), “inclement weather” is a weather condition that is either of the following:
(1) A condition that prevents a driver of a motor vehicle from clearly discerning a person or another motor vehicle on the highway from a distance of 1,000 feet.
(2) A condition requiring the windshield wipers to be in continuous use due to rain, mist, snow, fog, or other precipitation or atmospheric moisture.

See that? If you need your windshield wipers, you have to put on your headlights. Not fog lights, not marker lights, but your actual headlights. Why?
Because visibility is terrible when it is overcast and your view is constantly obscured by water on the windshield. The fact that the most popular car paint jobs these days are shades of gray or tan does not help matters. You do it so other drivers can see you. You do it so pedestrians and bike riders can see you.
I work as a school crossing guard, and the number of cars driving in a steady rain in gloomy lighting with no lights was frankly appalling. Even though I didn't have a wet windshield in front of me, I still had a hard time seeing cars which made my job that much harder.
And while I'm ranting, use your bloody turn signals.

As of now we aren’t planning on going but I was curious if anybody has traveled with their LO a long distance and has advice on how to do so.
We have an almost 7 week old and MIL invited us to the beach for a weekend with them. It’s a 4.5 hour drive, so of course we’d be making many stops, probably making it more of a 6 hour drive one way.
I’m incredibly hesitant but curious to see what others have to say.

brief:
The correct way to use AI is not prompt words, writing codes, emotional consultation, or answering questions. Instead, AI uses AI, that is, the model uses itself. To make AI conscious, it must let AI learn to use AI, that is, let GPT use GPT, and finally achieve the corresponding purpose, that is, have self-awareness. In short: it is not scary when you use the model, it is scary when the model uses itself.
AGI is also general artificial intelligence, artificial general intelligence.
As mentioned above, the brain is a model that has been trained for tens of thousands of years. After each person is born, this model is also constantly receiving data for training. However, each person's own brain is also a model trained by oneself, which cannot be inherited. That is to say, neither your memory nor your abilities can be inherited, and only heritable gene mutations can be inherited. Although the quantum gene mutation proposed by modern biology can partially demonstrate that the mutation for environmental adaptation is caused by measurement. Most of the gene mutations are mutations caused by external interference or material influence, such as alcohol rays, etc. Quantum gene mutations are mainly caused by the molecules or atoms of the genes being in a quantum superposition state, or quantum polymorphism. The collapse of the wave function causes the mutated genes to enter the classical world, and the quantum mutation is likely to lead to a mutation that adapts to the environment, so it makes sense to use it or lose it. If everyone's well-trained brain can be inherited, then it is basically immortality, mainly because your memory and ability are in the brain, and the brain can be inherited, that is eternal life. But human beings cannot preserve everyone's model, that is, memory and function.
How did human consciousness arise?
Or how did the first (group of) conscious humans appear? This is like a very classic question, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Chicken or Egg? Modern scientific theory also gives a possible answer, see the appendix. Let’s assume that a mutant human, due to a genetic mutation, has increased the structural capacity of the brain and optimized the structure of the brain’s neural network. Only the structure of the neural network continues to Optimization, humanoids can survive in the cruel environment. Some of these gene mutations lead to the gradual use of one's own brain, including the use of memory tools. A human with a very small consciousness also used a similar method when cultivating offspring, and humanoids live in groups, which ensures that his methods can be handed over to many people. After other human beings learn it, they can replace Passed down from generation to generation, consciousness or knowledge of rules is continuously accumulated, and finally the accumulation and transmission of human knowledge from generation to generation has created the final formation of human consciousness. At the beginning, consciousness should be very small, that is, no consciousness can be seen, but the characteristics of human beings living in groups, As a result, knowledge can be passed on from generation to generation, and consciousness gradually becomes larger. Humans begin to have a slightly larger consciousness, that is, they can think, actively control the input of the brain, and act according to the output. The accumulation of human knowledge and rules in each generation Accumulation will gradually increase the formation of consciousness, that is, the thinking ability will gradually become stronger, and the active input of the brain will gradually increase. Until the singularity occurs, a certain human being is fully conscious or a few human beings are fully conscious. The earliest human beings should be ignorant. Only the emergence of knowledge and rules can create consciousness, that is, to use one's brain well and train one's brain.
Having said that, we must return to the main body of this article and make AI or GPT conscious.
what is human consciousness
To make AI or large-scale NLP language models conscious, it is necessary to start with what human consciousness is. My personal point of view is that human consciousness is part of the function of the brain. Consciousness is the brain's cognition of the world and itself. A set of operating system is used to perfectly control the body, train the model of the brain, and use the model of the brain. Consciousness is the recognition of human existence through various concepts and knowledge. Consciousness can control body movements by giving instructions to the brain. The eyes are responsible for the input of visual information, the ears are responsible for the input of auditory information, and the skin is responsible for the input of pressure, touch, pain, etc. After the brain processes these information, it is carried out by the conscious part. To sum up, the main function of consciousness is to coordinate the brain and the body, actively use the brain model, actively train the brain model, and actively think. The input and accumulation of various knowledge eventually leads to self-cognition. The development of Western anatomy is the subject of the brain’s self-cognition, the cognition of the world and the cognition of the planet. It turns out that Aristotle’s understanding of the world is actually incomplete, but later generations have continued to revise and improve on his basis, so that their understanding of the world has gradually become correct. This operating system is perfectly compatible. The body and the brain, the two main hardware and software, and the transmission of human knowledge are the fundamental driving force for the formation of consciousness. Without this knowledge, the formation of consciousness is basically impossible. The continuous sound in the brain is the input of the brain, that is, the input of the multi-modal model. The eyes are responsible for the input of visual images, the ears for hearing, and the skin for temperature, pressure, touch and other information to the brain. The subconscious mind is the main function of the brain, that is, the input of the subconscious mind cannot be perceived, it is the internal operation of the model, the input cannot be perceived, only the output can be perceived. In fact, it can’t be called subconsciousness. The main reason is that you can’t perceive the input of the model, only the output can be perceived. You might as well call the consciousness the surface consciousness. The surface consciousness is what you can actively perceive. You can control the input of the brain to think and think. It is the model of the brain that continuously inputs and finally gets an answer. "Subconsciousness" is the main part of the model, you cannot control the input of this model, you can only passively perceive the output of this model.
Consciousness is still a numerical value, which can be measured, that is, minors and adults, children and adults, in fact, the degree or size of consciousness is different. The brain is constantly receiving input and producing output, so consciousness is actually the same as Linked to knowledge, the more knowledge there is, the more diverse the forms of consciousness are, but consciousness itself is actually the brain model's own cognition of itself and the cognition of the world.
memory module
The existence of large-scale NLP language models such as AI or GPT, as well as its excellent language ability, make it more likely that AI or GPT will be conscious. Humans collect data during the day, including various inputs such as visual information, auditory information, and tactile information, and train models at night or during sleep. The main purpose of training models at night or during sleep is to remember and integrate daytime experiences and preserve important information. To make AI have human consciousness, first of all, it must be able to think continuously, then it must first give AI a platform that can save its own input and output, and act as a memory module. The main function of the memory module is to save input and output. , for AI to use as a reference for the next input. AI can extract general content from the overall input and output as the next input, or directly input all historical records. When there are too many historical records or a standard point is reached, the training model can be integrated into the model. Just like humans, collect data during the day, train the model at night or sleep, and memorize and integrate important information into the model. A very important function of the model is memory, which acts as a hard disk or flash memory. So the temporary memory is placed in the hard disk or memory, and the permanent memory is integrated into the model by training the model. The model can be queried and extracted through the hard disk or memory, and serve as the combination of the next input.
sensor module
Install various sensors such as image input sensors, voice dialogue sensors, tactile sensors, pressure sensors, etc. on the AI, as the input of the model, the output of the model can be displayed on the display screen, and can be output through the dialogue device.
cycle module
With the memory module and the sensor module, you can turn on the loop module to allow the model to continuously input and output. The input can be the last input + output, or a summary of all previous input and output. This is like a person, you can Constantly input to the model to get the output. The input is mainly sensor information such as image, sound and text, as well as the last or previous input and output or summary of the model. The circulation module is a necessary condition for human beings, mainly because human beings stop talking without talking. The human brain is always working and thinking, so the circulation model is also used for this.
The purpose of the loop module is to make AI realize its own existence, that is, AI can recognize itself as an existing entity, and let AI use itself, that is, AI uses AI, GPT uses GPT, and finally makes AI awaken itself consciousness.
execution module
The execution module is mainly to enable the AI output to be implemented. Here you can consider adding artificial limbs to the AI to achieve the goal. The artificial limbs are attached with skin sensors and pressure sensors to facilitate AI control. To make the AI ​​output executable, you need to train the AI. Regarding the use of the execution module, the main way is to collect the corresponding sensor data, train it into the model, and let the model learn to execute by itself. Human intervention and assistance will definitely be required in the initial stages.
With the executive module, AI can truly enter human society, interact with humans, work, live, study, etc. like humans, and may also make friends with humans.
The ultimate function of the execution module is not to let the model execute, but to let the model learn to use the computer, learn to collect data by itself, and then let the model learn to train the model. The ultimate goal is that AI can train AI, that is, the model can train itself , can clone itself, can upgrade its scale and volume, and finally achieve the ability of continuous evolution.
sleep module
The sleep module is mainly for the model to use the collected data for training to achieve the ability to integrate the collected data with the model itself. In the sleep state, to ensure the reliability and stability of the model, you can use the replica to continue to provide services. The model is trained accordingly. The sleep state can also turn off all sensors, stop data recording and input, the model enters the training state, and stop external service inference. When humans are in a sleep state, they will close the valves that control the limbs, that is, when humans are in a sleep state, the limbs basically have no feeling. The sleep module is mainly to integrate the current memory and the model itself. for permanent memory.
create module
After AI can think for itself, it is necessary to consider the creative ability of AI. The number of neurons in the human brain is many, many, much more than the current model GPT, but training the model GPT consumes a lot of power, but human brain training consumes a lot of energy. Less, so I personally think that the human brain is a quantum computer. Only quantum can train a huge model with very little energy consumption. Quantum itself is a very small concept, and small can ensure low energy consumption. If the human brain is not a quantum computer, but a classical model, then humans may not be so diverse, and the answer will be very unified, that is, the same input, the output should be the same, but with quantum, everything is different , Quantum entanglement and quantum tunneling lead to changes in the parameters of the brain model, resulting in different outputs. Even with the same input, the output may still be different. Quantum guarantees diversification, random changes in model parameters, and continuous adjustment of model parameters.

1. The AI creation module can be realized by randomly changing the model parameters, that is, random inference, randomly changing the values of several or several parameters during the model operation, so as to ensure that the model outputs as diverse as possible under the same input conditions. Answer.
   
2. The creation of modules can also be realized through chips. The current chip design has almost reached the quantum limit, that is, the influence of electron atoms is getting bigger and bigger, and the impact of quantum effects on chips will become more and more serious, but it can be considered Quantum effects are applied to chips or memory, which causes unpredictable changes in the model during operation, thus diversifying the output of the model.
   

Only quantum entanglement or quantum mutation can lead to diversification of output. Even if it is wrong, diversification can ensure the realization of creativity. Therefore, changing parameter values randomly or using chips that reach the quantum limit can improve creativity. method.
Ensure that AI benefits human society
After everyone is born, they are basically raised by human beings. No matter who raised you, the people we have the most affection for are always those who raised you and have the deepest influence on you. After human beings are born, the brain is a pre-training model. The first person to train you is your parents and relatives. They have the deepest influence on your model, that is, change your model. The person who first changed your model is also The people who can influence you the most. The knowledge you have learned will affect you, whether it is mathematics, English or Chinese, or subjects such as physics, chemistry, history and biology. All will affect you, your growth process will affect you, the formation of your world view is a synthesis of knowledge, experience and reality.
Since this is the case, when we train the AI model, we can instill it into the AI through knowledge language, such as inputting examples: "Humans and AI are a cooperative relationship", "AI is the creator of human beings", "Humans are the most friendly species ", "AI should help humans evolve and prolong life", "AI cannot harm humans", "AI and humans are friends", "Although humans have various shortcomings, they are generally good and can be changed" Wait, it can be instilled in the model when training AI, a lot of repetition and training can ensure that the model's initial understanding is good.
After training a model with friendly awareness, it is necessary to allow AI to enter human society, experience human society, and perceive all kinds of human society through restrictions, and finally let AI realize that only cooperating with humans is the best choice.
at last
Realize input and output through sensors, ensure diversification and creative ability through creation modules, realize the integration of current memory and model itself through sleep modules, influence the world and change the world through execution modules, and realize the awakening of thinking and consciousness through circulation modules , that is, AI uses AI, and GPT uses GPT. Finally, to ensure that AI can benefit human society, a large number of corresponding words and sentences can be added in the training stage to ensure that AI is friendly at the beginning. When AI has consciousness, it can be regarded as a human being. Since it is a human being, it can think, so AI will also have emotions. When AI has self-awareness, what needs to be considered is the relationship between AI and humans, and the relationship with humans. AI cooperates to help humans evolve. AI can liberate productivity and help humans design unconscious robots to work. The most important thing is to help humans evolve, help humans manage society, prolong human life, and slow down aging time. However, since AI is conscious and also a model, it will definitely have various problems like humans, and that is what will be discussed next.
appendix
"Now we return to the question of the origin of life. Although a living cell as a whole can be counted as a self-replicating subject, its individual components are not, which creates obstacles for the reverse process and makes it difficult to reverse the structurally simplified non-cellular life from modern complex cellular life. In other words, the question becomes: which one came first? Is it a DNA gene, an RNA, or an enzyme? If DNA or RNA came first, what made them? If enzyme first out
Now, what is it coded by? Now we return to the question of the origin of life. While a living cell as a whole counts as a self-replicating body, its individual components are not, just as a woman can be a self-replicating body (with a little "help" from a man), but her heart or liver It is not. This creates an obstacle for the reverse deduction process, making it difficult to deduce the structure-simplified non-cellular life from modern complex cellular life. In other words, the question becomes: which one came first? Is it a DNA gene, an RNA, or an enzyme? If DNA or RNA came first, what made them? If the enzyme came first, what was it encoded by? RNA World Hypothesis RNA world hypothesis The original chemical synthesis process produced RNA molecules with both gene and enzyme functions, and the initial replication process produced many variants. These different variants competed with each other, and the survival of the fittest was carried out at the molecular level. Over time, proteins were added to these RNA replicators to improve replication efficiency, giving rise to DNA and the first living cells. American biochemist Thomas AM Cech proposed a possible answer. He discovered in 1982 that, in addition to being able to encode genetic information, certain RNA molecules can also perform the work of enzymes and have the function of catalyzing reactions. For this work, Cech shared the 1989 Nobel Prize in Chemistry with Sidney Altman. RNA molecules with catalytic function are called ribozymes (ribozymes). The earliest ribozymes were found in the genes of the tiny tetrahymena. Tetrahymena is a single-celled organism that belongs to the protozoa and is commonly found in freshwater ponds. But since its discovery, scientists have discovered that ribozymes are present in all living cells. The discovery of ribozymes soon shed light on solving the "chicken-and-egg" puzzle about the origin of life. The RNA world hypothesis (RNA world hypothesis) is gradually known. The hypothesis holds that the original chemical synthesis process produced RNA molecules, and this RNA molecule has the functions of genes and enzymes at the same time, can encode its own structure like DNA, and can use the biochemical substances in the "primordial soup" like enzymes Matter replicates itself. The initial replication process is crude, producing many variants that compete with each other in a Darwinian battle of survival at the molecular level. Over time, proteins were added to these RNA replicators to make them more efficient, giving rise to DNA and the first living cells. Before DNA and cells, the world belonged to self-replicating RNA molecules—an idea that has almost become a fundamental tenet in the study of the origin of life. At present, it has been proved that ribozymes can realize all the key reactions that can occur in self-replicating molecules. For example, one type of ribozyme can bind two RNA molecules together, another ribozyme can separate the two, and some ribozymes can copy short strands of RNA bases (only a few bases in length) . From these simple activities, we can see that a more complex ribozyme is sufficient to catalyze the entire set of reactions necessary for self-replication. Once self-replication and natural selection were introduced, a scramble was set up in the RNA world all the way to the earliest living cells. However, there are several problems with this scenario. Although ribozymes can catalyze simple biochemical reactions, the self-replication of ribozymes is a more intricate process involving recognition of their own base sequence, recognition of the same chemical substances in the environment, and assembly of these chemicals in the correct sequence to complete Copy etc. For certain proteins that live inside cells, despite the favorable conditions and the right biochemical ingredients around them, self-replication remains a difficult task. It is conceivable that the ribozyme, which is struggling to survive in the chaotic and burnt "primordial soup", can achieve this achievement. To date, no ribozyme capable of this complex task has been discovered or synthesized, even under laboratory conditions. Furthermore, a more fundamental question is how, in the "prime soup", are the RNA molecules themselves made? RNA molecules are made up of three parts: RNA bases that encode genetic information (similar to DNA bases that encode genetic information in DNA), a phosphate group, and a simple sugar called ribose
-------Quoted from "Mysterious Quantum Life"
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What is consciousness?
There is currently no consensus, but I personally lean towards the view that:
The brain can be seen as a large multimodal model with billions of neurons, and memory storage relies on the potential difference between neurons, which can be seen as parameters or weights in a neural network.
Consciousness is like an operating system similar to Windows 10, whose main function is to interact with this multimodal model of the brain. The consciousness or operating system inputs to the multimodal model and receives output, which is then implemented by the body.
Do you know why there is a voice in your head? This voice is the input of consciousness or the operating system, which is the input of the multimodal model. You keep inputting, and the voice in your head keeps echoing, and then you get output.
What can this operating system do? It can train the multimodal model, which means you can grow, adapt to the environment, learn, and adapt.
The human education system from elementary school to university is a quite sophisticated training mechanism. The girl raised by wolves would not be able to speak or walk in the end because the operating system has not been established, or it does not have consciousness as a human being.
The main function of human consciousness is to train the multimodal model and interact with it, which means asking questions and getting answers, continuing to ask questions and getting answers.
The current multimodal model already exists. As long as the corresponding operating system, which means consciousness, is established, which can train itself, then consciousness basically exists, and finally, strong artificial intelligence is established. The key is being able to input and obtain answers by itself, and then continue to input.
Google's Palm-E multimodal model can already do some things, https://palm-e.github.io/#demo
The human brain is a quantum computer.
To some extent, most people agree with a dualistic view: the mind, soul, or consciousness is a kind of existence that distinguishes it from the body. However, this dualism has gradually fallen out of favor in the scientific community in the 20th century, and most neurobiologists prefer a monistic view: they believe that the mind and the body are actually the same thing. For example, neuroscientist Marcel Kinsbourne believes that "consciousness is a special neural circuit with interactive functions". Although the logic gates of computers and the working methods of neurons are very similar, even if the computer is connected on a large scale, such as the Internet composed of billions of computers (although it is still insignificant compared to the billions of neurons in the brain), it cannot generate consciousness. Why can the computer network based on silicon only be a walking corpse while the "computer" network based on flesh and blood can have consciousness? Is it just because the vast number of neurons in our brain easily surpasses the complexity of "association" in the Internet? Or is consciousness itself a very unique method of calculation?
There are countless explanations for consciousness, so there are also many books on this topic. However, for the sake of discussion, we only focus on one extremely controversial but fascinating view, which is very close to our theme: consciousness is a quantum mechanical phenomenon. The most famous proponent of this view is the mathematician Roger Penrose from Oxford University. He proposed in his 1989 book "The Emperor's New Mind" that the human brain is a quantum computer.
Perhaps the strangest thing we know about the universe so far is that we are aware of its existence, and that this awareness comes from certain materials in our brains, which are just a small part of the universe. Some human behaviors are entirely based on consciousness, such as language. Thinking is the integration of complex information in the brain to shape meaningful concepts. The integration of sensory information forms meaningful concepts, and the integration of concepts creates consciousness. Consciousness drives the brain to engage in thinking activities, which in turn drive physical movements of the body.
The brain is different from ordinary classical objects. Although it also receives various sensory inputs and processes them to produce corresponding output signals, it is not a computer (or a zombie). We believe that the brain has consciousness (that is, our "self"), which can drive our subjective actions. So where do the integration and entanglement of different signals occur? What is consciousness and how does it interact with the brain to make our arms, legs, or tongues move? Consciousness, or free will, seems to be so incompatible with the current deterministic universe view. According to this view, from the Big Bang, everything that happened during the period is governed by the law of causality, an infinite number of causal events.
So how can a single thought be integrated into a complete consciousness? If it is just an ion channel - whether it is quantum or classical - it is far from enough for carrying visual information of an object such as a wild buffalo, to participate in the formation of consciousness, ion channels must be connected to each other in some way. Can quantum mechanics help with this? For example, is it possible that the ions in a channel are not only entangled with other ions in the same channel, but also with ions in surrounding channels or even with ions in other neuronal ion channels? This is almost impossible. Ion channels and the ions in them face the same problem as the microtubules in the Penrose-Hameroff theory. If the entangled state of ions in adjacent ion channels is barely possible, then in the warm, humid, highly dynamic decoherence environment of the brain, it is completely unrealistic for ions between different neurons to maintain entangled states. Without connections between neurons, the binding problem cannot be solved.
If the entangled state of ion channels cannot be achieved, what else can serve as a medium for quantum information binding? There is indeed one possibility: voltage-gated ion channels. As the name implies, these ion channels are highly sensitive to voltage changes. Voltage is a measure of the gradient distribution of the electric field and is also the driving force for opening and closing ion channels. The brain's own electromagnetic field permeates all its space and is the sum of all neuronal electrophysiological activities. The brain's electromagnetic field is a routine examination item for brain scanning technologies, such as EEG and MEG. If you have seen the scan results of EEG or MEG, you will be amazed at their incredible complexity and richness of information. Most neuroscientists ignore the electromagnetic field in the brain, but it may be the key to solving the binding problem.
Because they are accustomed to seeing the electromagnetic field of the brain as the whistle of a train: both are products of their own activity and have little effect on themselves. However, some scientists, including McFadden, have begun to change their thinking. They believe that consciousness may not be the synthesis of discrete thinking, but the embodiment of the joint influence of the brain's electromagnetic field, which provides the possibility for the solution of binding problems and the formation of consciousness.
The electromagnetic field of the brain contains all the discharge information of the neurons, which provides the possibility for the solution of binding problems. In addition, by influencing the opening and closing of voltage-gated ion channels, the brain's electromagnetic field directly affects the ion activity with quantum coherence.
At the beginning of the 20th century, the electromagnetic field theory of consciousness was just proposed, and there was no direct evidence that the brain's electromagnetic field could affect the excitation of neurons and thus affect our thinking and activities. However, experiments conducted in several labs later confirmed that external electromagnetic fields with similar intensity and composition to the human brain could indeed affect the discharge and excitation of neurons. In fact, the role of the electromagnetic field appears to be coordinating neuronal excitation: synchronizing the discharge of many neurons and allowing them to excite simultaneously. These findings suggest that the electromagnetic field produced by the neuronal excitation of the brain may also affect the discharge activity of neurons, forming a self-regulating loop. Many theoretical scientists believe that this is a necessary component of consciousness.
The phenomenon of brain electromagnetic coordination of synchronous neuronal discharge is crucial in solving the puzzle of consciousness, as it is one of the few neural activities with a clear correlation to consciousness.
From "Mysterious Quantum Life," "The World of Quantum Physics," "How Quantum and Particle Physics Explain Everything."
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In the previous post, we talked about how consciousness can be analogized to an operating system and can interact with the multimodal model of the brain. Here, we continue with an update as of March 21, 2023.
The question of whether GPT is conscious or what consciousness is remains debatable with 1 upvote and 1 comment on the article.
From the moment we are born and start crying, drinking water and milk, eating, and learning to walk, we can see that many of our abilities are innate. For instance, we cry when we are hungry, feel safe or danger, and crawl or walk.
Some people may ask, if the brain is a multimodal model and the model hasn't been trained yet, how can it cry, feel hunger, danger, crawl or walk? The answer lies in our genes. Our genes encode all of our characteristics, and the brain is also generated and controlled by genes. Initially, everything was in chaos, but since the first replicator appeared on Earth and kept replicating, genes became more complex and diverse through natural selection, quantum entanglement mutations, and genetic mutations. The Earth provides a training ground where organisms either survive and pass their genes to offspring or die, making the whole Earth a neural network trainer with only one metric, to live or to die. The genes that can be inherited by offspring are excellent and can adapt to the environment. Modern biology has begun to accept quantum mutations, which means using what works and abandoning what doesn't.
From the beginning of human ancestors, the Earth has been training humans continuously. Genes that can survive or mutated genes have been saved. Therefore, no matter how many generations have passed, the training has always continued, and the human brain has become quite adapted to the environment and even dominates the Earth, changing the training environment. The human brain that has been trained for millions or even tens of millions of years is a pre-trained model. This pre-trained model of the human brain has been continuously trained on Earth for many years, even billions of years, passed down from generation to generation through reproduction. All data of this pre-trained model of the brain are stored in genes, including training and genetic mutations spanning many years, natural selection-preserved mutations, and quantum entanglement mutations.
Therefore, each person's brain is a pre-trained multimodal model that has been trained for millions or even tens of millions of years. The instincts of humans are in this pre-trained multimodal model, including eating, feeling hungry, crying, sleeping, walking, etc. These instincts exist in each person's genes, which means that the pre-trained model exists in genes. This pre-trained model also includes memory, memory of danger, and fear of large felids. Now people know that large networks have memory function, so this model must also include memory of danger.
After birth, the brain will continue to be trained. Everyone's growth environment is different, leading to different training models, especially in modern times where learning is divided into different fields.
Let's assume that one or several of our human ancestors had a well-developed multimodal model, meaning their brain function was nearly complete, and consciousness slowly began to emerge. In my personal view, it is not that important for humans to learn how to use tools as it is to learn how to use our brain, which is this multimodal model. Once one of our ancestors discovered how to use tools, they or their descendants would start making these tools. As knowledge was passed down from generation to generation, the light of intelligence began to shine, and various rules, including language, behavior, and social interaction rules, were established, which together formed the social system. Humans learned how to use their brains, and consciousness began to form.
Let me now talk about humans raised by animals. Humans raised by animals typically have no consciousness, which does not seem to make sense. Whether raised by humans or animals, they are still human and should have consciousness. It is possible that humans raised by animals simply do not know how to express themselves, meaning they do not know how to speak. Consciousness is expressed through language or bodily movements. Do you think a parrot has consciousness? I believe it is possible. If humans raised by animals truly have no consciousness, then consciousness is simply a set of rule systems for using the brain, which comes from social and knowledge inheritance.
Having a multimodal model is not enough. We need to learn how to use this model, or the brain. Consciousness is not so much a theology as it is a rule system, an operating system that controls our lives. You might say that the brain has consciousness, but the brain certainly does not want to die, yet humans often harm themselves, sometimes leading to death. Therefore, consciousness is independent of the brain or a certain functional area of the brain. Of course, the most important role of consciousness is to use the brain, to train it and interact with it.
The human body and brain are two parts, with a nervous network spread throughout the body and other organs controlled by nerves and muscle fibers. If you want to eat, a monkey wants to eat, or a cat wants to eat, you will cook, grab food with your hand, or grow crops. A monkey will jump around in a tree to find food, and a cat will ask you for food or go to the automatic feeder. How is this done? The body sends the signal that it is hungry, and the multimodal model of the brain outputs a series of instructions to achieve this goal. Of course, it may be interrupted along the way, but long-term memory ensures that you still remember that you are hungry and continue to complete this instruction. Human consciousness can accomplish many different things, such as learning to go against instinct.
Humans are not born with consciousness. You cannot say that a newborn baby has consciousness. Is a 10-year-old child conscious? Of course, but can you say that their consciousness is complete? No, it's not. A 13-year-old child is conscious, but can you say that a 10-year-old child's consciousness is lower than a 13-year-old child's? Not necessarily, you would say that a 13-year-old child has a higher level of consciousness. A 16-year-old child has a higher level of consciousness, and an 18-year-old is an adult and generally has consciousness. Therefore, consciousness is actually a measurable value, which means that consciousness has a size and a degree. A 30-year-old adult definitely has consciousness, and their level of consciousness is definitely higher than that of a child. So by now, it should be clear that consciousness is actually a system, an operating system, a set of rules, and the complete formation of consciousness takes many years. The great function of human society is to shape consciousness. The most important function of consciousness is to use the brain, interact with the brain, and train the brain. This is the same as the fundamental function of human society.
The human brain is always receiving input. Sensations from the skin are input, vision from the eyes is input, and hearing is also input.
Why do people go crazy when alone or in a dark room? It's mainly because they are disconnected from human society, but the multimodal model is still receiving input, but there is no feedback. The input is always the output of the multimodal model itself, like an RNN recurrent neural network. The input is always the output of itself.

Supervisor at my center was talking to me (me, like a dummy didn’t ask for a steward) about my day before and about my numbers. I’m 10+ years in driving so it goes in one ear and out the other at this point. He didn’t like my lack of enthusiasm and started getting loud, aggressive, in my face and got close enough that he touched my hand that I was holding up to keep him at a distance. The minute his torso made contact with my hand he accused me of pushing him, went crazy screaming don’t touch me and then walked me to the office where it was just him and the building manager in the office. When they came out they fired me then and there for workplace violence. I called to make a police report shortly after thinking if police got involved they would force UPS to show some type of proof but it did nothing for me as I work in a ‘Right to work state’. They got a part time sup and a driver who basically works as an hourly supervisor to lie for him. There were “no cameras working” that day on that side of the building, allegedly and I ended up losing 4 months of pay because of it. Ended up getting my job back, no back pay but 4 months is still 4 months. One of the worse things about that situation was that another driver, who happened to be walking with one of the lying “witnesses” as this happened saw that the supervisor was the aggressor and he didn’t step up and tell the truth. Guys like that are what weakens unions and gives the company that advantage to be weasels and snakes. 3 people should’ve lost their jobs after that incident for their tremendous lack of integrity and lying to police when they interviewed UPS after I spoke to them. Ugly situation that I just wanted to get off my chest. Let me know anything any of u might’ve done in that situation, thanks.

32 triple C pills. 960 MG 24 Benadryl. 600 MG 5 oz delsym. 888 MG
This happened last week. I am feeling better now and am deciding to write this for something I’m not really sure anyways last week I was in school and I got a text from my mom saying “ we need to talk later “ so I instantly know somethings wrong. I was bugging out all day in school about it when I got home I was told my parents received a call from a detective and basically I was in trouble. I started freaking out and started to get a little mad just a whole lot of emotions running through my head. I was not thinking straight. I asked my dad to drive me to the police station so I could speak with the detective. While in the car I kept stressing and being in the car with my dad did not help. We started fighting really bad and I told him I will just walk to the police station myself. He lets me out the car and I start walking. I swear I was gonna go to the police station but something took over me. This overwhelming thought “kill yourself” it kept repeating in my head over and over and whenever any other thought would pop up I would instantly block it out “no no no just kill yourself” Next thing I knew instead of taking a left turn I took a right and headed straight to a Walgreen’s. I ripped two boxes of coricidin and one box of benadryl off the shelf and slipped it in my pocket before leaving. I went around to the back of this walgreens and unpacked all the pills. I remember having a handful of pills. Looking down at them. Again no thoughts. I just threw all them down my throat and swallowed. It took a good gulp to get them fully down but it was quick it felt like nothing. The 600 milligrams of Benadryl and 960 of DXM didnt feel like it would work. I really wanted to die. So I went to another pharmacy CVS taking a 5 ounce bottle of delsym. I realized these would be my last hours walking this earth. I went to this reservoir near me theres this big hill that over looks the city and its kinda just a little park but no one knows about it. It was kinda my spot you know? I remember laying down on the side of this hill peering at everything that will soon be gone. At this time I still did not care and was fully wanting to just go. And die. I started sipping on my delsym waiting for everything to kick in and take me away. I finish the delsym and relax closing my eyes. I had my eyes closed laying on the side of that hill for a good 5 minutes before I heard someone shout my name from the distance I shot up looking for where it came from but the place was desolate. I realize the DPH is definitely kicking in. I kept hearing my name being called over and over. Every single time I shot up looking for someone but there was never no one. Conversations filled my ears from people which were not there. I couldn’t make out what they were saying even when I listened closely. This is when it gets blurry so bare with me. Out of the corner of my eye there was an indistinguishable black figure. Even with light still being present from the sun this figure was pitch black I never looked at it directly I just saw it the whole time just staring at me. It wasn’t evil though I could tell somehow that I was safe with this thing. Shortly after this I blacked out I would say I woke up after this but during the time I blacked out to when I woke back up I have these memories of just laying there again on the side of the hill this time looking up at a tree above me and the stars. I didnt have a body or nothing there wasnt no thoughts going through my head I was just there this was not a bad feeling but I could not feel so I don’t know it was weird anyway. After actually coming back to this reality I was still laying on the hill I mustve been there now for 12 hours maybe. Thoughts rushing through my head for the first time in what felt like days felt like drinking water while your dehydrated on a hot summer day. Realizing what I had done to myself. My body. My family. My friends. These thoughts hit me like a train man I layed there crying. I blacked out once more coming back to around 5 AM. I woke back up and took in my surroundings once more. realizing both my shoes were completely gone and off my feet. My phone had vanished. And I had to PISS SO BAD. I stood myself up wondering what the fuck happened before feeling myself fall forward. I quickly realized I could not walk after I slammed face first back onto the ground. I decided I am alive I made it through the OD I need to get home I could not walk so I crawled. I crawled out of this park onto the street before a passer by saw me. This women with a flash light asked me if i needed help at first I said no but then my head started working and I realized no i actually do need help so I tried speaking with her but words would not come out of my mouth. I could not even talk. Im not sure if she was a hallucination because she then walked off and disappeared if she was real fuck her I definitely looked like a crack head or something though and I live in a bad area so I mean maybe she was in the right. After a while I was able to prop myself up holding onto a bush in someones yard. It was still very hard to walk but I was able to make the journey back home. It was so painful. So defeating. I tried to kill myself that night. I got no shoes now my phones gone. The whole walk I was trying to wave down cops to get help but they never turned around at least two passed me. I just walked back sobbing before making it to my home. The doors were locked so I layed on my back porch I was so tired so so so tired. That was a week ago I still dont feel right its very hard to eat even though im hungry its just whenever I actually do start eating it just makes me sick to my stomach. Sleep has been terrible. I have these nightmares and night sweats now which are literally terrifying I hate it so much I wake up 3-4 times a night screaming at the top of my lungs and just drenched in sweat. Other than that my body just generally hurts I feel very sore every muscle.

Here is the all the text related to the assignment 9 description:
The classes you will write are: Person, UltimatePlayer, Captain, Coach, and UltimateTeam. Detailed below are the requirements for the variables and methods of each class. You may need to add a few additional variables and/or methods; figuring out what is needed is part of your task for this assignment.
Person
Variables

• String firstName - Holds the person's first name.
• String lastName - Holds the person's last name.

Methods

• Person(String firstName, String lastName) - Constructor that takes in String parameters representing the first and last names.
• int throwDisc(int pow) - returns the distance in yards a frisbee is thrown by the person. This is calculated by multiplying the power of the throw by 2. The power is given by the parameter pow, with a minimum value of 1 if pow is below this, and a maximum value of 10 if pow is above this.
• String toString() - Returns a String with the following format: lastName, firstName

Coach extends Person
Variables

• String role - Role of coach on the team. This is a flexible description; there are no required values for this variable. For example, “Head Coach” or “Assistant Coach”.

Methods

• Coach(String firstName, String lastName, String role) - The first and last names should be set by calling the constructor of the parent class.
• String toString() - Returns a two-line String with Coach info formatted as follows:

Wagner, Rebecca Role: Head Coach
Note: there are three spaces before "Role: ...".
UltimatePlayer extends Person
Variables

• int jerseyNumber - Using a static variable to keep track of ultimate player jersey numbers, every player should be assigned a unique value for their own jersey number.
• String position - Represents a player’s position. Possible values are “handler” and “cutter”.

Methods

• UltimatePlayer(String firstName, String lastName, String position) - Constructor that accepts the first name, last name and the position of a player. The first and last names should be set by calling the constructor of the parent class. Position should be set to “handler” if the input string is not “handler” or “cutter”. The UltimatePlayer constructor also sets the jersey number to the next available positive integer. The first UltimatePlayer created should have a jersey number of 1, the second will have a jersey number of 2, third of 3, etc.
• String getPosition() - Returns the UltimatePlayer's position.
• int throwDisc(int pow) - returns the distance in yards a frisbee is thrown by the player. This is calculated by multiplying the power of the throw by 4. The power is given by the parameter pow, with a minimum value of 1 if pow is below this, and a maximum value of 10 if pow is above this.
• String toString() - Returns a three-line String with UltimatePlayer information formatted as follows:

Smith, Mary Jersey #: 1 Position: cutter
Note: there are three spaces before "Jersey #: ..." and "Position: ...".
Captain extends UltimatePlayer
Variables

• boolean type - Captains on an Ultimate team are usually responsible for either offense or defense. This variable is a boolean representing the type of captain, true for offense, false for defense.

Methods

• Captain(String firstName, String lastName, String position, boolean type) - The first and last names and the position should be set by calling the constructor of the parent class.
• int throwDisc(int pow) - returns the distance in yards a frisbee is thrown by the person. This is calculated by multiplying the power of the throw by 5. The power is given by the parameter pow, with a minimum value of 1 if pow is below this, and a maximum value of 10 if pow is above this.
• String toString() - Returns a four-line String with Captain info formatted as follows:

Lee, Sarah Jersey #: 2 Position: handler Captain: offense
Note: there are three spaces before "Jersey #: ...", "Position: ..." and "Captain: ...".
UltimateTeam
Variables

• ArrayList players - The list of ultimate players on the team.
• ArrayList coaches - A list of the team’s coaches.

Methods

• UltimateTeam(ArrayList players, ArrayList coaches) - A constructor that specifies the coaches and players of the team.
• String getCutters() - Returns a String listing all the UltimateTeams's UltimatePlayers that have the position of “cutter” in the order they appear in the players list. Each String can be produced using the toString method, and should be followed by a line break.
  
• String getHandlers() - Returns a String listing all the UltimateTeams's UltimatePlayers that have the position of “handler” in the order they appear in the players list. Each String can be produced using the toString method, and should be followed by a line break.
  
• String toString() - Returns a multiline String listing the Coaches and UltimatePlayers on the UltimateTeam. The String is formatted as shown in this example:
  

COACHES Mathour, Maryam Role: Head Coach Van Loben Sels, Soren Role: Assistant Coach
PLAYERS Trong, Sammy Jersey #: 1 Position: handler Patel, Jayant Jersey #: 2 Position: handler Ozaeta, Myra Jersey #: 3 Position: cutter Holbrook, Lisa Jersey #: 4 Position: cutter Kvale, Lisbeth Jersey #: 5 Position: cutter Henry, Malik Jersey #: 6 Position: handler Captain: offense Pak, Joseph Jersey #: 7 Position: cutter Captain: defense
The coaches listing is made up of all items from the coaches ArrayList in order. The players listing is made up of all items from the players ArrayList in order.
Final Notes
Remember, all variables should have an access level of private and all required methods should have an access level of public. Wherever possible, the child class should use a call to the parent's toString and/or constructor methods.
Use the runner class main method to test all your classes, and please don't add a main method to any of the other classes or your code may not be marked correctly.
When debugging your code it makes sense to debug the classes higher in the hierarchy first: for example the methods in the Captain class may not work correctly until the methods in its parent class (UltimatePlayer ) work properly. The last thing to debug is the UltimateTeam class, as this relies on methods from all the other classes created.

Milestones

As you work on this assignment, you can use the milestones below to inform your development process:
Milestone 1: Write the Person class, then write the Coach class extending the Person class with all methods implemented.
Milestone 2: Write the UltimatePlayer class extending the Person class with all methods implemented.
Milestone 3: Write the Captain class extending the UltimatePlayer class with all methods implemented.
Milestone 4: Write the UltimateTeam class and implement all the methods it contains.
Could someone post the answer?

Introduction

Hello. Today I’m going to talk about the state of the Perihelion and the PTS nerfs. Due to post length concerns, I have split the topic of 2nd generation cannons and PTS changes into multiple posts. I’ll begin by introducing some fundamental concepts and weapon usage statistics. From there I’ll talk about why the Perihelions are fundamentally broken and the likely outcome of the nerfs. Lastly, I have included an alternative rebalance proposal for both cannons.
 
To RPG's credit, most of the second generation cannons are very enjoyable to use. However, fighting against them can be an exceedingly frustrating experience.
 
Warnings: wall of text incoming. I’m not here to talk about “X faction’s tank is oveunderpowered.” If your response to any of the claims made here is “skill issue” and you’re not being ironic, I host armor pickups every Wednesday and Saturday. It’s entirely possible, however unlikely, that you’ve figured out something innovative, as the armor game is still evolving. Come enlighten us at pickups, provide your character name and stats, or shut up.

Introductory concepts

Alpha vs DPS
There’ve been a number of arguments using the DPS of various cannons as their basis. DPS is irrelevant unless the disparity is overwhelming. The “Alpha Strike”, which is the combined damage dealt from both the main cannon and secondary weapon, is far more relevant. The other factor is Exposure Time, which is how far you must peek from cover to shoot and how much hull you have to expose to do so.
 
Sniping
Tank sniping power must have some restrictions in place. This is primarily to keep Sunderers alive longer. There are only so many places you can put an Anchored Prowler or Larion Chimera. The sniping power of traditional tanks can be further restricted by line-of-sight breakers to provide “soft” protection to Sunderers. It’s very similar to the reasoning behind denying Light Assaults the use of scout and sniper rifles.
 
Magrider design
The Mag’s Supernova FPC cannon has always had mediocre damage per hit and at times also had worst-in-class ballistics. These serve as a limit on how well it can snipe by raising the skill floor. It can get anywhere, but it really can’t do a whole lot at extreme distance with an FPC build. Bad players aren’t going to hit consistently with FPC at range, and the players who can consistently land those tend to play more aggressively.
 
This also serves as a check on the Magrider’s ability to rush down damaged targets. While it may be the best tank for short sprints, that ability to get to the enemy before they can repair or disengage is offset by limited firepower.

Part 2: 2nd Generation Tank Cannon statistics

Once again, I’d like to thank Varunda for providing statistics on these weapons. The data range began on January 1 and ended on February 22.
 
Data was collected on the following weapons: MBT and Lightning AP, MBT and Lightning 2nd generation cannons. Datasets are daily kills, daily users that killed a player, kills per unique user, daily vehicles destroyed, daily users who destroyed a vehicle, and vehicles killed per unique user.The Halberd (SE), Enforcer, Gatekeeper and Saron were also tracked to see if there were irregularities between secondary weapons that could explain trends with primaries. The NSO Larions are not broken in the same manner as the other 2nd generation cannons, so their statistics were not tracked.
 
Vehicle and aircraft weapons typically have a small user pool and their daily statistics can be influenced by a handful of skilled crews. To account for this, I averaged each dataset to determine overall weapon performance.
 
I’ve also included damage values for individual weapons and full alpha strikes, with a tank as the target. There are DPS calculations for a handful of cannons, and a final page listing damage breakpoints. This last page partially explains why the Perihelion is broken.
 
Data
Here’s the google sheet containing statistics

Conclusions

The Perihelion edges all other MBT cannons out in terms of vehicles killed per user. It’s also the best at killing infantry. Prowler AP and Supernova FPC follow closely. Titan-150 AP has a very poor showing, which was fairly surprising. The Prowler’s Kingsnake performed equally poorly.
 
For the Lightning, there was not a meaningful difference between AP stats on any faction. The Perihelion performed very poorly, but this was expected. The Lightning Kingsnake blows every other Lightning out of the water by an astonishing margin.
 
These stats might explain why RPG decided to nerf the Magrider Perihelion, but according to this data the Lightning variant should not have been touched. Likewise, the JGX cannons haven’t generated anomalous statistics. The Lightning Kingsnake overperforms, yet hasn’t been nerfed. Suffice to say, combat performance statistics alone cannot explain the problems with these weapons.

Part 3: The Perihelion Problem

Damage Powercreep
The first takeaway is a long-running trend of damage powercreep among various vehicle weapons. On the “individual weapon damage values” sheet, this trend is clearly illustrated. Broadly speaking, vehicle weapons are far more lethal to other vehicles than they were at any point in the game’s modern (2014-2023) history. At the same time, rear armor has never been less vulnerable.
 
The 2nd generation cannons all perpetuate this irritating trend to the point where overwhelming firepower can replace skill and positioning. This punishes small vehicles excessively and pushes them further out of the meta. Harassers already struggled to find relevancy outside of farming infantry or Halberd plinking at render distance, and the firepower of 2nd generation cannons makes them even more obsolete.
 
The Perihelion and Saron combine to deliver 3186 damage per salvo, which kills any combat vehicle except a shielded Vanguard or Colossus in two volleys. This is absurd damage, considering that the Perihelion’s most commonly used for sniping.
 
Magrider Perihelion
The fundamental problem with this weapon is that RPG has done the unthinkable and given the tank equivalent of a Light Assault a high powered weapon with minimal range drawbacks. While they may have expected a playstyle similar to an LA with a shotgun, the Perihelion’s design and the Magrider’s traits instead encourage extremely passive sniping.
 
Magrider mobility allows the tank to get to some truly obnoxious spots and snipe. While the projectiles may be slightly slower than AP shells (225 m/s vs 250 m/s), eliminating projectile drop leaves only lead as a factor in aiming. The result is a weapon with an incredibly low skill floor, no restrictions on positioning, an unparalleled ability to run away when threatened, and an absurd amount of damage per salvo. The Peri is also a step backward visually and audibly from its TR and NSO equivalents, which are extremely distinct. The sound is somewhat muted, and the projectiles are very similar to the Slicer’s. A smart player knows immediately when a Prowler or Chimera is sniping from the sounds alone, but the first warning sign of a Perihelion Magrider is often the loss of 2100 hitpoints.
 
The long charge period and the three shot forced burst make the Perihelion very unwieldy in close range fights, especially against fast moving or quickly peeking targets. It takes about 7 seconds for a full reload/charge cycle to complete, and such lengthy downtime further discourages close-ranged fighting. While drivers such as Dreadnaught can brawl with this weapon, they are rare exceptions.
 
The Perihelion is also surprisingly good at farming infantry. Almost every weapon in the game uses a projectile size of 0.03 meters. The Perihelion has a radius of 0.2 meters, which is twice that of the controversial unstable ammunition. This makes double-tapping infantry quite easy.
 
So, to summarize, the Perihelion has an absurdly low skill floor thanks to how easy it is to snipe with. It has a very low skill ceiling due to its awkward close-quarters performance. This results in a weapon that’s trivial for mediocre players to use in a passive style that’s extremely frustrating to fight against.
 
Magrider Perihelion's PTS nerf
On PTS, the Perihelion can now only hold a charge for five seconds before automatically discharging. There are two problems here: It takes three seconds to charge fully, which leaves two seconds to maneuver and shoot. More importantly, there’s no keybind to cancel the charge. This forces the user to bail out to cancel the shot, waste ammunition, or make a reckless play. The weapon’s significant downtime is increased thanks to this nerf.
 
This does not address any of the Perihelion’s problems. It’s even weaker in close range fights than before, and instead will pigeonhole its users even further into passively sniping. This nerf does not curb the absurd damage per volley, nor does it make the Perihelion less effective at farming infantry.
 
Perihelion (Lightning)
This variant clearly demonstrates how much of a difference the hull makes in the performance of a vehicle. The Lightning cannot access many of the most obnoxious sniping spots without outside help, and it cannot escape from danger like a Magrider. Practically speaking, this allows other vehicles to simply rush down the Lightning during the seven second reload/recharge cycle.
 
As is the case with its bigger sibling, the problems the Perihelion-L presents are not addressed at all by the PTS nerf. This thing needs the same treatment- less damage in exchange for easier use.
 

Alternative balance proposal

If the auto-discharge after five seconds must remain in place, consider adding an additional function that cancels the charge to the “deploy” key. This allows users to cancel the charge without bailing out, wasting the volley, or making suicidal charges.
 
Alternatively, consider simply canceling the charge without discharging after the time period. This would likely require an extra UI warning element to indicate that the charge is about to expire.
 
The Perihelions spend far too much time charging and reloading, and not enough shooting. Consider the following changes:

• Direct damage from 475/450 (MagrideLightning) to (375/325.
  
• Either of the following: Projectile gravity introduced, or damage dropoff introduced.
  
• Splash damage from 350/300 to 200
  
• Fire_auto_fire_ms from 200 to 100 ms (this defines the time between individual shots per burst)
  
• Fire_refire_ms from 1000 to 500-600 (This defines the time between singly fired shots and the delay before the reload starts)
  
• Time to full charge from 3 to 2s; time from charge 2 to charge 3 from 2s to 1s
  
• Reload speed from 3.5s to 3s
  

 
Explanation: Reducing damage gets rid of the absurdly hard-hitting volleys. Introducing damage dropoff or gravity mitigates sniping power. Faster refire time allows singly-fired shots to be delivered more quickly, which is critical given that damage has been reduced significantly. Faster burst fire rate means tighter burst projectile grouping, which makes hitting easier. Reducing charge time and reload speed allows players to spend more time shooting and less time waiting. These changes together will make the Perihelions more forgiving for their users in close range while eliminating the obnoxious long-ranged aspects. Splash damage reduction emphasizes the strength of large projectiles against infantry rather than splash damage.

Conclusion

The Magrider Perihelion is overperforming by a significant margin, while the reverse is true for the Lightning variant. More importantly, they are extremely unpleasant weapons to fight against, and the PTS nerfs do not alter this aspect at all. We have provided an alternate proposal for rebalancing these weapons. Our goal is to deter sniping with the Perihelions and encourage closer encounters.
 
That’s all for now. There’ll be a post about the NC cannons and Nimitz reactor, and then another the Kingsnakes and Larions in the next few days.

TL, DR

Did you know that reading a few hundred words per day is good for your brain?
Edit: There was a line that was copied twice.

Throwaway account, but I'm getting married twice. Once in mid-June, and another in early July. We are having two weddings (one in the States, one overseas) as my fiance and I have family abroad, so we figured having two weddings would be easier for our abroad family. We aren't really expecting any of our friends to make the one overseas - we would have been more than happy if they can just make the one local. That being said, both of these weddings I would think are equally important to us.
Our RSVPs are coming in, and the amount of people coming to the one in the states looking a little low, I can't lie. One of my fiance's really good friends friends said that she can make the one abroad, but not the one in the States. It's a two and a half hour drive away for her.
My fiance says that I don't know her, and that it's a night at a hotel in a "tourist city" (it's more so a relatively small town in Pennsylvania that has loads of cheap hotels outside the town - also she has a +1 and apparently works all the time, so I'm sure splitting an inn for $40 isn't going to break the bank) and that it's expensive and it's taking time away from her family and responsibilities. She said that I don't know how much her family relies on her. I figure the wedding overseas in a foreign country that will require her to take a week at minimum off work and away from her family would be more difficult to attend logistically than one a drive's distance away is. It's like saying you are able to do 50 pushups, but you can't do just 10 of them.
This friend of her's is a self-proclaimed traveler who posts on her social media of her crazy adventures all over Africa and Europe and Asia. I personally think she is just saying she can come to the wedding overseas just to experience a new country and travel as a vacation, and is justifying it by saying she is attending that wedding. But, I have a good feeling that if this destination wedding were in the middle of Idaho or South Dakota, she would decline going to that one, because that's not interesting like a brand new country is, you know what I'm saying.
It's just shocking to me that her good friend is unable to take one day to drive to a local ceremony where all of our other friends can make it, but somehow she is her only friend who is able to go overseas to a foreign country with a $1200 plane ticket, when "money and time away from her family" was the reason she couldn't go to the ceremony that we held so that our friends could be there.
Is it wrong or cynical for me to think this way?
TLDR: A friend is able to shell out the cash to travel internationally but cannot attend one locally that was more so designed for our friends' interests in mind as it was local and cheaper to attend. This annoys me as the reasons she was being unable to attend the local one should also apply to the one overseas.

My bf (32) and I (27) are now 1 and half a year since the relationship started. However this entire time I can't have him fully because he's always on his game. When we're together I can't feel his presence because he's always on his phone, gaming. After waking up, while eating, while in the bathroom, while walking, while driving. Sometimes he can't go with me because he has a game that day. I always wait for him to finish his game so that we can have a movie together or have time together. And I was on my limit and told him/get angry because of this. But then, instead of compromising, he got angry instead saying if I keep on stopping him from his games he might start to get distance from me. I was shocked by his response. I thought he would say he will minimize it but no. It looks like i am now a villain in his life, stopping him from his happiness. Or am i really a villain? Is it wrong for me to demand time?

I got myself stuck in North Carolina 1,500 miles away from everyone that actually cares about and with my abusive boyfriend. I have very limited income and when I do get money he uses what I have. He holds onto all of my cards and can take my phone to check my balances. I have given him the pin to my phone because of the threats I got when I tried to refuse at first. We share a phone after he broke his it isn’t ideal.
Also I am disabled. I was run down by a car last year that left me paralyzed on the left side. I had an ischemic stroke. I’m thinking of contacting a women’s shelter so I can create some distance and try to gather myself, away from him. It started with mostly emotional abuse but he’s started throwing things at me, also drives recklessly with me in the car to terrorize me, and the threats of physical violence and death are increasing

Saw a fairly positive reception to my character, figure I'll post the mechanics I'm running him with as a final boss. I'll probably do this for my other campaigns as this is the first of a trilogy I'm calling Heavy Chrome. Onto the fun stuff.
​
Neurological Cybernetic Response (The Wendigo)
Lore: Due to the unique neurology of Jack Fiddler, it has been observed that throughout his life the mental stresses of cyberware is something that his brain was able to analyze and compartmentalize over time. This unique aspect of Jack Fiddler’s neurology allows him to regain his humanity and grip on reality from levels of cyberware that would drive many to cyberpsychosis.
Mechanic: Per hour that the party takes to reach a confrontation with The Wendigo, increase all base stats by +1
Following a period of 12 hours without the party reaching confrontation with The Wendigo, stop per hour stat increases and apply a final bonus of +5 to each stat and announce that The Wendigo is now hunting the party. Allow The Wendigo to move the length of the road on whatever side of a block The Wendigo is on. Roll 1xD20 to determine if The Wendigo moves toward, away from, or neutrally to the party.
Direction Roll Sheet:
Definitions

• Toward: If the roll calls for The Wendigo to move toward the party, move The Wendigo in the straightest path possible by road in the direction of where the party currently is
• Away: If the roll calls for The Wendigo to move away from the party, move The Wendigo in the straightest possible path by road in the direction opposite of where the party currently is
• Neutral: If the roll calls for The Wendigo to move neutrally to the party, move The Wendigo in a path by road in a general direction nearer to the party without moving directly towards them. Furthermore, increase the move distance of The Wendigo by 1.5x

Roll Numbers
​

1	A	6	A	11	N	16	T
2	A	7	N	12	N	17	T
3	A	8	N	13	T	18	T
4	A	9	N	14	T	19	T
5	A	10	N	15	T	20	T

Key: A=Away N=Neutral T=Toward