Shower someone with money crossword clue

How could I, the aunt, tell my family that I don’t want to buy gifts for my nephews?

2023.04.01 22:25 lemonflavouredjello How could I, the aunt, tell my family that I don’t want to buy gifts for my nephews?

My siblings and parents shower my three nephews and one niece (ages 1-6) with gifts. Birthdays, holidays, and just randomly too.
I don’t like this, ideologically. It’s wasteful and the kids are not that appreciative of the toys, they never seem to play with the same thing twice.
I started baking things instead. Cookies, cakes… I feel it still shows I care, and I still spend money, but my parents said today that my baked goods are not “gifty” enough because they don’t have the same unwrapping element.
I don’t want my family to think I’m arrogant and judgmental of their parenting or not loving of their kids. But I really don’t want to buy gifts.
Should I succumb to peer pressure or is there a nice way to reach an understanding on this?
submitted by lemonflavouredjello to Parenting [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:23 Vyalkuran Considering the point in the story we're at, where do you think we will find the Water-Water Fruit?

I often hear the Imu theory, but it wouldn't make sense for him to have the water fruit because the way the celestial dragons present themselves, especially the higher ones like gorosei, is that they are Saints. It would be ironic for a Saint like Imu to have a DEVIL fruit, but if he indeed had one by some stretch, I'd rather say he has some variation of a Curse Curse fruit.
Making someone immortal (Not confirmed but highly suggested that he is) is techincally a curse not a blessing.
Maybe a former encounter with someone who had the Water Water fruit led to "cursing" the waters. Erasing memories of the void century, even for the highest officials is near impossible without some "occult" way of doing so. The poneglyphs were a way to preserve information regardless of memory wiping (which we saw that it's possible due to how sugar's devil fruit worked)
Since we know that some zoan fruits have a will of their own, maybe this is a hint to how the will of D was initially passed down, and implicitly the JoyBoystuff. Entraping former key people's "memories" into devil fruits sounds like a good curse to me.
Coming back to the initial question, I feel like if there was anyone who had a clue about it, it would be either Blackbeard who spent decades studying various fruits and their interactions (hence being so fixated on the dark-dark fruit), or Vegapunk who had access to almost all government resources. There is a stretch that could be made for a 3rd option, that somehow Shanks' crew is in it's possesion, but in a box like Luffy's fruit was at the beginning.
Possibly no one is currently a user of the fruit, otherwise I'd assume there would be "rumors" in the one piece universe by now, however I'd like to believe Vegapunk's trump card is the water fruit indeed, which would tie nicely with the current events in the manga. And if that's the case, who would be supposed to wield it, Zoro?
submitted by Vyalkuran to OnePiece [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:22 Comprehensive_Tip585 FL Small Fine Dining- Owners Stealing Tips

I work as a server and bartender at a small fine dining Italian restaurant in a beach town in FL. We are consistently busy with a long time customer base and word of mouth referrals. We all do well throughout the week. With a minimum of $250 on slow nights and $500 busy nights.
We get our credit card tips on a check biweekly where they take out for tip out for the support staff. The entire staff was under the impression that the support staff was tipped 3% of food sales. This is what we were told whenever someone would ask. Our pay stubs do not reflect the tip out and when asked about that they say they’ll show you a breakdown but never do.
On the weekends we have a runner, busser and hostess. Apparently since August 1st we have been tipping out 3% of total food sales per server individually to each support worker. That is in fact 9% total tip out per server.
The owner and GM have lied to us about the amount we are tipping out. We all have had a feeling something was wrong with our checks but like I said we do well and no one has been able to get passed the run around they provide us when we ask.
They were approached today about the situation and the servers have started a petition to tip out all support staff in cash at the end of the night each shift instead of letting them manually deduct our checks. They assured they will make the changes.
However, I am curious how we can protect ourselves in the process of redeeming the thousands of dollars of tips they owe us from months of garnishing the incorrect amount while misrepresenting it all to their staff.
We aren’t even sure whether the support staff even received all of that money or whether they have been taking from them as well.
Any and all advice is appreciated.
submitted by Comprehensive_Tip585 to Serverlife [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:19 Mangafan10 Roulette method from me

Hello, my fellow gamblers :) Found this section on reddit, so by occassion wanted to share a method for those who like to play roulette. Maybe someone wrote this earlier, I didn't check all previous possiblities from other users. First I will write the method, then Please be sure to read my advice after I describe it. It is not a 100% method but the advices will give a higher possibility of a win. Method used on Playtech and Evolution Gaming distributions, with one 0 (so no American Roulette with additional 00) A) METHOD a) First of all we Part the WHEEL in 2 pieces. As many as You know if we take out the green 0, on one half of the wheel we have combination of high Red + low black (starting from 32 to 10 - 18 numbers) while the other is the reverse (high black + low Red, from 26 to 5) also 18 numbers b) now we part the 36 numbers into 9 groups of 4, starting with the ones where the combination does not apply (5,10,26,32) and forming next groups with the number next to previous ones. So the groups will be formed like this According to WHEEL According to ORDER 1) 5,10,26,32. 1) 1,11,21,28 2) 3,15,23,24. 2) 2,7,20,36 3) 8,16,19,35. 3) 3,15,23,24 4) 4,12,30,33. 4) 4,12,30,33 5) 1,11,21,28. 5) 5,10,26,32 6) 2,7,20,36. 6) 6,9,22,34 7) 13,14,25,29. 7) 8,16,19,35 8) 17,18,27,31. 8) 13,14,25,29 9) 6,9,22,34. 9) 17,18,27,31 Better to save this in Favourites :) c) PLAY. Look at the previous numbers that have fallen at the table You want to play and REPEAT LAST 3 numbers together with their respective groups! So play 12 numbers + 0 (never forget this bastard!). If You decide to forfeit the 0 then if You play the 12 numbers with same money on each of them, then the method will last for 3 turns till it becomes non-profitable. If after 3 turns the numbers do not fall, then each next turn You will have to double the amount of bet. The roulette is most likely based on REPETITIONS. Most of You saw /experienced a ridiculous amount of same coloodd/even /high /low numbers falling in a row (my record 26 red) which should be impossible in normal circumstances. If You see the same Number falling in last 10 rounds then most likely there was also a number from the same Group in between. B) ADVICES And here are some advices from my experience to this method a)Important thing is to be PATIENT and wait for the right OPPORTUNITY. The Best solution is to observe the whole LOBBY and pick the right table at the right time. b) DO NOT play this method when the last 3 numbers were a REPETITION OF OTHER KIND (that is 3x red or black, odd/even, high/low and also 3 or more times 2nd dozen (13-24) and the upper /last dozen (3,6,9...36). Wait till the numbers are truly random. c) DO NOT play after You win. Change to other table or wait for about 10 rounds for new numbers. I for instance take a 15 Minutes break. d) If You just missed the opportunity, then don't try to rush and continue to play on the same table e) the most rounds that the REPETITION of last 3 numbers/groups didn't fall was 15 rounds. And it was because there were DOUBLE REPETITIONS OF OTHER KIND FALLING IN A ROW WITHOUT BREAK (2red, 2even, 2high etc.) Rare case but happens after long playing. Long description but if played right it will give result. ATTENTION! Here also a small method when You spot at LEAST 8 (not less) consecutive numbers of some kind (red/black etc.) A) If You have consecutive black (for example last number is 17) then play all black numbers that are in group 1 till 4 ACCORDING TO WHEEL (4,8,10,15,24,26,33,35 + 0). The same goes reverse (if last is number 4 then play all black numbers from groups 5-9 + 0). B) If it stays black, but not winning numbers, repeat the bet C) If a red number falls, then play ALL NUMBERS from the opposite groups then the one to which belongs the Red number (last numbers are black 2,20,15,33,4,6,17,31 and then falls Red 25, then play all numbers from Groups 1-4 + 0 The same goes for consecutive high/low and odd/even numbers. It does not work on 2nd dozen and uppelast dozen(3,6,9...36) Whew that's all :) If someone tries and has success, give a message (or a tip of grattitude, wouldn't mind :D). Playing with smallest possible bets and breaks I managed to win 60-70€/daily.
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2023.04.01 22:19 ChaosDrawsNear Reasons NOT to take advantage of the ERC?

I'm in need of some insight, if this isn't the right spot, please direct me to a better sub and I'll delete this. My church was recently approached about taking advantage of the Employee Retention Credit and some of the council members have reservations. (The person who approached us is someone almost all of us have known for decades, so not one of those shady companies springing up all over the place.)

I didn't understand the arguments made against taking advantage of this tax credit, but they seemed to be rather nebulous moral reasons (I know one of the two people is a libertarian, perhaps that's why?).

I need reasons why people would take issue with accepting this money and arguments against it. Our church could really use the funds and I don't want to see this chance slip away.
submitted by ChaosDrawsNear to Accounting [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:19 Prudent-Fan-4458 AITA for blocking my "best friend", who's severely depressed?

There's a whole hell of a lot of back story but the major gist of it is that we were inseparable for roughly 5 years and when I met my fiancé my best friend kind of went MIA. She was pissed that I was "replacing her", despite us working FT together and being together Monday-Friday and every other weekend. However, I ended up having to switch jobs a year and a half later because the hour commute became too much and this really triggered her. She has made zero effort to come see me. She only gets a hold of me when she is feeling down and out and it's becoming exhausting trying to maintain a friendship with an individual whom I haven't seen in 3 years but still emotionally dumps on me every chance she gets. I don't even remember the last time there was a single positive conversation we had because it's always her talking about how much she hates life. I understand struggling but this is every single conversation we have had for 3 years solid. And she manipulates in the worst of ways. Like trying to make me feel bad for us not seeing each other by sending me videos on TikTok of lost friendships or even saying she has no friends, when talking to me directly. For context: she has no children and is financially really well off. I'm a mom of 3, with one on the way and right now money is tight. She knows this and still expects me to travel an hour and a half to her, knowing it's really not possible. When I suggest meeting at a half way point, she agrees but then picks somewhere that's maybe 20 minutes from her house.
Anyways, lately I stopped talking to her because my pregnancy hormones are stressful enough without adding talking someone down from a ledge at least 3 times a week. She's mentally destroying me right now and I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones or if I'm truly feeling this way. Regardless, I've been called a "heartless fucking cunt" by mutual friends because I just recently blocked this friend after she messaged me pissed, saying I'm never there for her and make zero effort. She then added in the "we need to see each other before it's too late for you to see me ever again". Her way of saying she's "on the ledge and ready to jump". I immediately became irate because I'm tired of the manipulative games she pulls when she knows I'm going through enough as it is (high risk pregnancy), so I blocked her. Again, I'm being called a heartless cunt. I'm getting text after text saying that I should have talked her down because "what if she had done something stupid and you're the only person she fucking reached out to". I'm tired of her depression being put on me to deal with. AITA?
submitted by Prudent-Fan-4458 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:18 Informal_Park216 Adoptee tired of the Inner Conflict

I am an adoptee, just recently learning the borders of the "adoptee community" I wish I could get advice from someone with a perspective that is more understanding to why I would have such a serious inner conflict.
I was born in a formerly soviet country, to the US, to my "adoptive" family. I have a strong bond to my adoptive family, they are a priority to me in terms of caring how they may feel. My adoption bothered me as a child, I thought and suffered alone, understanding it's not an simple topic of discussion and it was never a priority in any one else's mind except my own. I immigrated out of the US as an adult and during the process I got all of the adoption paperwork from my parents. I got lucky that someone at a consulate slipped me confidential information of the name of the woman listed as my birthmother. I then had a lawyer who had an office in my birth country, find some information on the side of helping me with legal papers I needed. He gave me photos of my birth mom and siblings but said that "they didn't want contact." I ended up leaving it alone for a few years until I found a group on Facebook, for adoptees from my country, and, for mothers of my country looking for their children. The woman in charge of the group was kind enough to help me connect surprisingly quickly with a cousin.
Now, my cousin told me she was very shocked to hear from me, I am supposed to be dead. Apparently the hospital had told my BM that I was dead. I mentioned the group on face book, it is absolutely filled with endless stories of various children and mother's desperately trying to find the other. After some time I finally got ahold of my BM, and she confirmed that I had "died" and that the officials in the hospital and the government wouldn't show her my body, or give her a death certificate. It is like it didn't happen. My paperwork by chance gave me enough info to find her
I don't know the whole story just yet, we speak different languages and you can only get so much of an impression with messages and google translate. My confliction as of yet is that amongst the finding my birth family, my adoptive mom, but to me just my mom, entered hospice care. My mom has now passed away and I had kept my secret of finding my BM. I tried to speak to my dad about the new contact (he knew I was searching even though we never spoke about it directly) and he made it known that he didn't much care to know and that it didn't interest him. I know he is not keen on knowing, remembering that he shares the title of 'dad' with some stranger. He didn't react when I told him my Bio Father is dead, he said something to the terms of it shouldn't really matter to me.
My bio siblings are nice, it is difficult to start a relationship like siblinghood when you don't have any shared history or culture. Our parents were married, and there was a family in place. It wasn't what you think when you imagine the family giving up a child. I was a stolen and sold baby, and I made those people a lot of money. I want to protect my father from the truth of my history. But I also want to make a connection with my Bio Family before its too late.
How does one deal with such emotional things all alone? Who could even begin to give me advice on how to organize how I feel and think logically about the circumstance.
I feel Guilty, Angry, Frustrated, Grief, Happy, Desperate, and a lot of the time indifferent like it isn't actually about me.
I want to meet my bio mom soon. And I don't know how smart that is since I am emotionally an absolute wreck. I have gone through many other serious things during the time as this has all unfolded, if I listed out the life punches I have received one would have a full seasons worth of drama for a telenovela.
When should I think I am ready to tackle this? Where do I find someone with knowledge about situations like this?
Thank you
submitted by Informal_Park216 to Adoption [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:17 Writteninsanity SIX ORBITS - Chapter 19 - The View Up Here

Jie had set Victoria and I up in adjoined rooms nice enough that I would have only bought them myself if I'd just finished the job of a lifetime. The main centrepiece of my room was a brilliant blue fish tank decorated with plants and colourful fish that my PA told me were from Africa on Earth.
They certainly knew how to flaunt their wealth on Station 26.
The window on the far wall of the room didn't look out over the main promenade of the Pent, nor did it look out into space; both of those would have been too convenient. Instead, it had a view of the 'Jewel of Station 26,' the rare mineral casino that had stood here through several regime changes and funded each of them.
Mining lithium on Station 26 was a fantastic way to make a fortune, which meant that the Station needed a reckless amount of ways to lose it.
On the ground below us, a series of cars and bikes constantly pulled into the Casino for what I imagined was the 'Evening' rush. Stations didn't sleep, and Station 26 certainly wasn't an exception to that rule, but evening and nightlife were still marketing terms.
Moving into the evening meant that I was expecting a knock soon; that would have been completely Jie's speed. Either that or it would be Tash banging on the door and telling me that we needed to go get drinks which was completely her speed, just in a different way.
It had been quiet in my room for a while. Victoria hadn't been able to sleep on the ship while worrying about the battery, so she'd gone to bed while I'd started pacing the second we arrived.
At least we were past the worst version of landing on Station 26; someone new being in power and considering me a friend of the old order.
Of course, it wasn't clear whether our current situation was better.
I ran my thumb over the edge of the unmarked credit chips in my pocket. I should have tried to offer the kid more, get him to fix the ship and get us off the Station before-
Before what? Before Tas- Natasha finished her elevator ride? She was on the way down before we'd stepped off the ship. Unless we'd come here in Victoria's ship, I would get clocked the second I landed with Gunboat Diplomat.
It may be time to get a new ship after all. I could afford it instead of a vacation with the payout from Victoria, or I'd have to repair the ship so many times that I couldn't afford anything other than replacement engines.
I gave up on brooding out the window and grabbed a chair and a datapad I'd brought from the ship to avoid using anything station-provided. I didn't need anyone having easy access to my search history or what I was scanning around the ship.
For now, I mostly just didn't need people knowing that I was looking up Fotuans, or at least trying to; Pasoné, as far as most of the web was concerned, had no relation to the Fotuan Meritocracy. I barely got a trillion results when I searched the name and most of the results related to a Daggeral celebrity from three centuries ago.
That tracked.
I placed the datapad down in my lap and sighed. Compared to other Empires, the Fotuan Meritocracy kept things under lock and key. Even if she was the only person in the entire Galaxy with that name, there might have been nothing about her on the web at all.
Fuck. Was I really going up against the Meritocracy? Dad would be proud.
"Anything yet?" Victoria asked as she opened the door from her room to mine. Combined, our pair of lavish rooms were almost offensive. She'd wrapped herself in a hotel-provided robe that was clearly cut for around six feet as opposed to nearly seven; the emerald colour was stark against her silver-white skin.
"Nobody's come for us yet, no."
"But they're going to?"
Victoria sat down beside me and pushed her hair over to the shaved side, smoothing it once before crossing her legs on the seat. "I was thinking," she started leaving space for a sarcastic remark.
I declined.
"We should come up with a strategy for how to handle everything-"
"You were fine on the docks."
"Everyone here is going to expect that attitude from you so-"
"Everyone everywhere expects it," she corrected, "it's accurate."
"You've chilled," I offered her a pointed look to communicate that the Victoria I'd met at the bar wasn't about to walk out to 'have a chat.'
"Pardon that."
"I wasn't complaining."
"It's unbecoming."
"It's better for our relationship," I added. There was a lot I was leaving out there, but it wasn't the best idea to spend time trying to spell out 'I actually enjoy your company when you're not being a prick' or 'it helps to not be babysitting a brat.'
We both knew. Firefights were great for keeping people attached.
"One thing about it. Downstairs that is."
"Just call me Kingston, don't call me by my last name."
"I thought that was a human thing."
"It is, but it's not an Ovishir one."
"People he- The people who know me here are going to think it's weird if you call me by my last name," I explained, "it implies that we're really close. It's better if we keep everyone thinking that we're just arm's length from one another. Or at least try."
"They know me pretty well. I'll try, but people like Tash will be good at reading me. For example, she probably knows that I really don't want to be here."
"You know them that well?"
"But you're not going to explain it?" she asked.
Down in front of the Casino, a massive, lumbering mining machine that had been repurposed with gold thundered up to the front walkway before opening to dispense a collection of passengers too far for me to clock.
"No. It's not my favourite topic."
"You have a lot of not favourite topics."
"You don't seem that keen to talk about your situation," I pointed out.
Victoria chuckled, "that's fair."
"I did a lot of work here with a lot of powerful people," I explained, "they're big fans, but I'm not that proud of it."
"Are you proud of a lot of your work?"
"Not much," I sighed, "I do the right thing sometimes but-"
"Sometimes you blow up a Mythellion Research station?"
"Yinde deserved that."
"Are you proud of it?"
"I'm neutral," I lied, "feel bad that I disappointed Musc."
Victoria wrinkled her nose and shifted in her chair. "I thought you were going to use the excuse that they were Yinde's bombs."
"Nah," was all I offered. Victoria had been forced to pull the trigger twice in her life, from what I understood, so I didn't want to explain the calculus of blame to her like my Mom had to for me. Sometimes it was you or them, and that was okay, but if you kept trying to shift the responsibility for the people you killed to the actions of others, you'd be able to explain away anything.
That responsibility, according to her, was the difference between people who shot first and people who shot when they didn't need to.
"I killed him. He would have killed us. I was better at it," I continued after a second longer, staring out the window at the crew still unloading parts from the mining vessel. "Tale old as time."
"Hm," was all that Victoria had to offer in response for the moment. If I let it linger too long, she would get trapped thinking about what she'd done on Mythellion.
"What about you?"
"Proud of what you do?"' I asked.
Victoria offered me a quizzical look and then turned her attention back out the window. "I-" she bit her lip, "what I do- did, for the Meritocracy wa- is…"
She trailed off, but I understood the last part, 'well, I'm not doing it, so take a guess.'
"You're young," I cut in to give her an out, "you'll figure it out."
"Yeah," Victoria agreed in a way that meant 'hopefully.'
Someone pounded on the door.
I waved Victoria back to her side of the room, and she shut the door behind her before I opened mine.
Tash was at the door, still in a flight suit but missing the apron and grime that came with her work clothes. She still looked like she was one of the dock managers, just an off-duty one.
"Hey you," she greeted while trying to get a look around me to see if anyone else was in the room.
"Vic's in hers."
"Mind if I come in then?"
"Am I allowed to say no?"
There was a pause long enough that one of us should have cut in to break it.
"I'm not here for Jie," she finally said.
"Come on in."
Tash pushed past me before I was fully out of the way, ignoring the lavish decor to focus on the Nurse, which I'd left lying in the corner. She regarded it for a moment but never moved to grab it. "It's been a while since you invited me in."
"What's up?" I asked, closing the door behind us and dodging her attempts to bring up the past as soon as she was inside. Tash continued to stare at the Nurse instead of revealing whether that bothered her.
"Can't I just be coming in to check on a friend?"
"You can," I nodded, "but you aren't."
Tash clicked her tongue.
"What's up?"
"Just serendipity for me that you're here. Need someone for something, and I don't think I'd want anyone else on this station doing it."
"Nobody on the station?"
"You shouldn't trust people from Songlai," she pointed out, using the old nickname instead of anything formal.
"That includes you."
Tash sighed. "I'm aware."
"But you and I have history."
We did. I wasn't sure if that helped her case.
"You think I enjoy asking you for help the second I get here?"
"Then why do you think I'm asking?"
"Because you know I'm good," I suggested.
"Desperate," she corrected, "I don't have many places to go."
"Burned a lot of bridges?" I asked. I knew the answer was yes, but it wasn't like Tash to admit that she was a serial arsonist.
"Working for Jie doesn't get you many fans these days."
"You work for Jie?"
"Everyone on Station works for Jie. Some of us just admit it," she finally turned away from the Nurse to turn back at me. Her eyes had a pleading sparkle, but I'd seen that weaponized before, "everyone else just pretends that their boss doesn't funnel money to Jie, or isn't part of some bullshit network that isn't technically working for her."
"Can't choose who your boss pays."
Tash glared at me but didn't argue against my point.
"What do you need?"
"You have to promise you'll do it if I tell you, can't have it getting out."
"Fuck that."
"No, you don't have that privilege."
"Kingson we're-"
"Natasha, you're a client," I cut her off and corrected her simultaneously, "and I have work right now, so I'm not about to drop everything for this."
Natasha looked away toward the window and sighed, running one hand through her hair. There were so many more scars than last time I'd seen her.
I went to open the door for her.
"You're right," she answered instead of moving, "you're right. Look, is there anything you need with the ship? What put that hole in it?"
"I can pay for repairs."
"What put the hole in it?"
There I was again, pressed up against the wall of giving information away that I didn't necessarily want to. That said, the good thing about Station 26 being an unregulated hell hole was its access to systems that might punch through their shields next time. After all, the radar cloaking that allowed us barely escape around Mythellion was from here. "Valikyria"
"Fotuan Valikyria. That's what shot the ship."
Tash glanced over at the door to Victoria's room. "What the fuck does she have you doing that you're scrapping with Fotty tech?"
"I'm not discussing that."
"Valikyrias are serious shit."
"So I learned."
"Are you in over your head?"
That was a good question, but I was confident the answer was almost assuredly yes, "No."
She frowned, then nodded, "You get any hits in?"
"If I did, it didn't matter."
"Need firepower?"
"Can you offer something worth what you're asking?"
Natasha walked over to the window but didn't take the seat that I'd been using with Victoria. Instead, she stared out over the Casino. "We have some de-fib rounds on station right now. I can call people on some debts and get them to you."
"That's one hell of a favour."
"I did try to get you to agree without hearing what it was. Those should be enough, though, yeah?"
"I reserve the right to refuse."
"That's not being a dick," I corrected, "that's just not being as dumb as I used to be."
"I liked the old version."
"You would." I watched her reflection sneer at my comment. "Do you want to tell me or not?"
"Fine," she began, "but we have to do it tonight."
submitted by Writteninsanity to JacksonWrites [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:17 Defyingtoitle How I get through it, and how you can too.

Hi. I don't speak much in person but I'm going to try to speak my mind here. BPD people have left me fragmented my entire life, my mom is undiagnosed and as a result, I went through my early childhood living directly through this kind of pain. I got into relationships and close friendships with many BPD people, and because I'm decently attractive and successful I've been a large target for them. I've had people spend more time trying to leverage my life than I've had actually living my life, so let me give you all the tips and tricks I use to skirt through life. I studied this in college to survive, so some descriptions will be more advanced and some will be simpler. Where I could've been incredibly successful as an individual, I have had to abandon my dreams at every turn to not only live but survive. I'm trying to use what I've learned to change the environment you guys live in. I'm tired. Here's what I know. Happy to help fix communication errors - I have to kinda turn off emotions to be able to talk about this stuff so expressions might not be emphasized in full. The great part about dealing with so many BPD people, I've learned to be able to flick the mental switch that turns off emotions as they can. I just have the moral conscious to use it for good instead of personal desires!
It boils down to them being insecure person. You may think this is obvious, but the understanding of insecurity they have is one that you or I may not immediately understand. Take a second to google Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - at some point in the person with BPD's life their Physiological needs were not guaranteed - this creates the stress response they keep for the rest of their life.As the stress response from this is so large and we have such a shoddy understanding of mental health - You will not be dealing with rational behavior EVER. The parts that are "mature" in your eyes have been created that way as a direct result of your childhood insecurities. You are dating the reflection of your home environment, and it is being leveraged by someone who is a reflection of their home environment, not the person standing in front of you today, yesterday, or tomorrow. Your rose-colored glasses are in areas you don't have a full understanding of - and because someone else may have more understanding or a worse "reality" you've grown to trust them (trauma bonding, sometimes done on accident, sometimes on purpose.) - regardless of what you eventually learn to be healthy. These people usually specialize in one very specific niche and dare to stray from it, creating their own demand. You'll notice that people are grasping at straws to be "unique" - for each person creating success, you have another 19 chasing them, copying their personality in hopes the 'archetype' works for them as well. Sometimes the number trying to copy doesn't stop. It scales based on how desperate people are for success, and how successful they think the person they're copying is. Remember that their thoughts have been proven to not be based on reality.
Many people like to think down on people with BPD, and the truth is that they are probably smarter than you or I. They just have so much extra brain space being utilized to help them 'escape' from either real or false fears, that they can't spend this space on progressing themselves or society. Until they outgrow the fear from this environment - it will be expressed ON YOU, the one choosing to interact with them. You may be able to have dates, vacations, and long-standing plans, but when this person gets re-stressed by their childhood insecurities you are GONE. You are no longer the reality they are living in, the sources of stress from their childhood are the reality they ultimately will end up reliving until their problems are fixed. This shows us they have been trying to escape Reality by living disconnected since their childhood. When the reality around them tries to embrace the personality they've made in a disconnected headspace, they can either double down that they have no problems or finally embrace their problems. With time, generations of families, changes in the environment, and personal factors, the problems become weighted and skewed with time to the point they aren't reflected honestly when voiced today. A problem 40 years ago may be expressed through a few unemotional words, if any words at that. I know people who have come to me silent who I've worked with to get them to talk, and they have lived some of the most traumatic shit I've ever heard in my life. They don't know how to bring it up in today's society, which is another post for another time on my end. I'm working on that in the background to give them a place to be heard, yet for YOU, HERE, TODAY:
What does that leave us with? A new resource - one that they can't value for their life. Time.Someone with BPD has to stay constant, and actively engaged, or else their natural fear complex sets in. The level of fear they live in daily EXCEEDS the amount a brain can healthily adapt to daily. Sleeping no longer resets their tolerance - rather degrades their long-standing habits until the stress overwhelms even these foundational ideas. As a result - their attention span is greatly decreased. Where you and I can relax, spend time to ourselves and chill, their attention span is almost negative if anything. They need constant visual input to stimulate their mind - and platforms like TikTok are normalizing this speed of consumption. If you think of TikTok as the end result of mental health problems rather than the source - you can truly see how widespread attention problems are in society. Mental health is being monetized before its being solved, which will evidently lead to it never being solved. Not only how they've been normalized, but how it's starting to affect the lives of others based on one's perspectives and expectations.

I'm tired of fixing their problems for them, it's time for a true understanding that you can step out of their control and spend your time where it's important - yourself. Stop half-assing a relationship that won't be real in a few years, full-ass your relationship with yourself and you'll find better people with time. If each person reading this spent a year loving themselves instead of those around them - you would learn you don't have to tolerate those kinds of people. A year gives you time to not only reflect on your past but work out any bad habits and attempt to unlearn them/relearn good ones. Habits take a few weeks, so even if you have an ungodly list of 20 bad ones, enjoy your year working for yourself instead of someone faking a future with you. Build the future you want, and stop relying on others. They are utilizing your dependency on attention to avoid problems as a crutch - keep your time spent on yourself. They want you to fall into the same trap they have, and will drag you there as a result. They know what you will go through, and having the experience already will know exactly how to leverage you during that time.

You ever wonder why their conversations jump from the past to the future, to the present, all in a circle to get you confused? Their brain doesn't let them sit on the stress of being the problem in the here and now. So they resort to different frames of time in order to rationalize it to themselves. The stress is so overwhelming they don't care if it doesn't make sense to you - they are purely trying to escape it with no regard for others. These people do not need relationships. They need mental health reform. It is not smart to get into relationships knowing there are these bombs waiting out there - with barely even half being able to understand their own problems. Why are we being forced to solve the problems of those who don't have consequences?
In the meantime - try to understand that added political disorganization in the USA is driving the normalization of these people. Soon we are going to lose the generation able to reflect on their challenges and rather have to embrace the lack of reality those with BPD are trying to embrace. You and I can't live at that pace, being on this forum indicate that, so we need to come together to work against this problem. Many people with BPD will weaponize the shitty mental health climate in America - weaponizing false promises or inaction in taking care of themselves. They can tell themselves subconsciously they are the problem, but as the socio-political climate of the nation endorses consistent, rapid interactions, it is easy for these people to escape into new pockets socially. They are consciously choosing to spend their time ignoring their problems at any cost - sometimes even losing their own touch with reality.
To fix this and no longer be influenced we would need to:
Reform the mental health culture - with the current understanding of mental health, these people are scared of embracing their problems for fear that they truly finally lose themselves in the process. They grasp at strings hoping to make it day to day, so taking faith in a system with notoriously bad experiences will only accelerate the problems from their perspective. They know that giving in to the current half-assed mental health industry (that may or may not beprofit-driven) may certainly end their life faster than they could themselves. BPD is the attempt of control a life that would otherwise be lost to the environmental and socio-political pressures around them.
Stop having a god complex around relationships. Our brain's understanding of emotions really excels around 25 years old, up to that point you are still growing and past that point, it is maintenance mode instead of growth. While you're meant to be growing uninfluenced, you've been spoon-fed the idea of a family sometimes even before you are fully emotionally mature. You are then going out and finding other emotionally immature people who then further complicate your own problems. well before you can even wrap your head around the complex emotions ongoing, you now have to deal with someone else's childhood insecurities haunting your thoughts the rest of your life. If you are younger than 25 - work on understanding yourself and your emotions. If you are older than 25 - work on not only understanding this but also how its going to interact with others. Base your actions on your body, instead of the fucked up expectations others have around us. Trust yourself for once, its a nice feeling :)
Remember, the BPD person wants you to feel isolated and alone. You are not alone. Someone is always out there, working for you, looking after you. We are almost done with dealing with these people, tough it out a little longer as you've done for years and you'll see the fruits of your labors soon. Where everyone else is focusing on their own lives, jobs, health, and money, you should know that you have someone fighting alongside you the entire time.
submitted by Defyingtoitle to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:15 beersnob89 Hello from the other side

My fine gentlemen. First of all, I'd like to preface this by saying you should live your life to the fullest. Live your life shamelessly and unabashed, but don't harm others, treat people (especially yourself) with love and respect, and always be true to yourself. That said, many of us have lived lives, have done things, and if you're lucky enough, have only thought things that are incongruent with who we really are. I'm not going to go into detail about myself. I don't need to because I am you. I'm not going to go into all the theories I have about why we ended up how we did, because they're just that, theories. Ultimately, it doesn't matter because, in the end, we have complete control over ourselves. Yes, YOU are in control. You always were, and you still are. Gentlemen, you have been lied to. One thing I've noticed with this genre of porn is that they say, "it's permanent, there's no going back, you're in too deep, blah blah blah." It's all bullshit. It's all lies. Let me ask you something. Even if it did "change" you, which it didn't, or change your sexual preferences, why wouldn't you be able to change back. Simply put, you can. Our minds are like computers, able to be programmed and reprogrammed. Your system is corrupted with malware. The problem is that the program is embedded deep in your subconscious, but not as deep as you think. I believe it starts with that lie, the lie that "it's permanent" and that "this is who you truly are." Hog wash. I'll just tell you straight up that that is NOT who you truly are. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here reading this. The first step to recover from any addiction is to admit you have a problem. Remember this. The problem isn't what you have done, there's nothing wrong with what you've done(unless you've hurt someone), and there's no shame in acting how you want or doing the things you want to do. The problem is, you are doing things you don't want to do because THAT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE. You are living a life that is incongruent with your true self. You know this. That's why you are here. Take hold of that truth and cling to it like a life raft and dont let go. If you happen to let go, don't fret. The life raft has a beacon. You might drift a little, but you can always swim back to it. It just takes a little longer. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY BACK. The next step on your path to recovery is realizing YOU are in control. You always have been. You only think you have no control. It's all an illusion. It only seems real because you believe it. Stop believing the lie, and the illusion will fade. Now, back to the life raft. That life raft is attached to a ship. Once you've grabbed hold of the life raft, find the line and pull yourself to the ship, you'll find it has been abandoned, but it's been waiting for you, fully stocked with all the provision you need for the journey back to shore. Take hold of the helm. Remember, YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN. It's time to start piloting your ship.
The full stock of provisions simply means you are complete. You are whole just as you are. You need not look any further than your self. All the power and all the strength you need is inside you. Once you realize that, you will become unstoppable.
Pro tips:
Start to physically embody who you truly are. For me, I'm an absolute unit. I shit you not. I look like a Greek god. I look like I was carved out of stone by Michaelangelo. People often think im on steroids, even though im natural. BTW, it's not bragging if it's true. I actually don't think it's bragging, because it's pretty balanced. I've never done very well academically. Like when I picked my stats, I maxed out beef keg and forgot to put anything in the brains section. I'm too jacked to be wearing anything other than masculine clothes. When I did dress up, I looked comically ridiculous. It was hysterical. It helps if you can laugh at yourself. Anyways, that's just me and who I AM. You don't have to look like your training to be Mr. Olympia, but I encourage everyone to exercise. Hit the gym, pump some iron or even just do calisthenics. Have you seen those guys that do calisthenics in the park?
This next tip was my bread and butter. I truly believe this is what tipped the scales in my favor. Semen retention. Yup that's right, I'm one of those guys. Lol. A hard reset. We've gone to the most extreme end of the spectrum and the best way to find balance is to go to the complete opposite side of the spectrum. There's magic in your baby batter. If you stop releasing it, your body and brain will start to utilize. Even if you don't believe in the magic it holds, just look at the science. It takes over 2 months for your spell to mature in your nuts all the while your body is using tremendous amounts of energy and nutrients to feed them and replenish your stores, energy and nutrients that can and should be used for other systems of your body and brain. Mind be sharp af on SR
Visualization is very powerful. Use your minds eye to your advantage. Whenever unwanted thoughts or images pop up in your head, use Visualization techniques to counter them. For me, this is where I get violent. Take all the pain and anger and rage you have stored up inside you, and turn it into a sword. Perhaps you prefer a war hammer. An axe? CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON. Get creative. Whatever blows your skirt up. Sry I couldn't help myself. Lol. Now whenever intrusive thoughts enter your mind, take your weapon and cut them down. Truly visualize yourself destroying them, visualize the carnage. You are Conan the Barbarian! You are king Arthur wielding Excalibur! Hell, you could be John Wick with a fucking pencil! Use your imagination and destroy those unwanted thoughts and images. The more detail, the better.
And I think this last one goes without saying, purge. PURGE PURGE PURGE. Any articles of clothing, and toys or paraphernalia, get rid of it. I don't care how many times you've done it, and relapsed, do it again. Right now. Burn it, break it, cut it up, toss it in the trash. If you have video files or pictures downloaded, delete that shit. Don't worry about the money or time spent. It was all a waste anyways. But perhaps not a complete waste. Or at least it doesn't have to be. When you come out on the other side, you will know how powerful you truly are, and that my fine gentlemen, is PRICELESS.
submitted by beersnob89 to TGandSissyRecovery [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:15 ManutesBowl 2 tickets to Shane Gillis comedy show for Sunday night

I have 2 tickets to the show at Paramount theater tomorrow. I can’t go anymore and it looks like I can’t resell through Ticketmaster.
Willing to part with them for free because I don’t really feel like trying to deal with getting money from someone random online.
PM me and I can send them
submitted by ManutesBowl to Denver [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:14 Brandonhansen18 Honest Question: What is LIV Golf doing?

I got into watching golf on TV last year after my family moved to a golf course so I got more interested in the game.
This year golf on TV has been a godsend for me because usually I get bored after the NFL ends for the spring and summer. The four-round format has me checking in somewhat on Thursday, Friday to see the course and who made the cut. Saturday and Sunday I watch more intently but its still kind of like baseball in that its good background noise until the real tense moments in the final round when I zero in to watch.
To me its fun as a casual-ish golf fan the PGA plays every week at a unique golf course with quirks and feature holes. I get why people hate how the PGA does tv rights but I have been able to watch everything with ESPN plus and YouTubeTV which I pay too much for.
LIV was on YouTube last year and I watched it because it was an app I had and I wanted to see what this league was about. It was definitely different but I didnt recoil in horror and grasp my 7-iron in disgust.
This year? I dont get it. I have done some sports marketing and management training professionally and it doesnt feel like LIV is making decisions based in those schools of thought.
They poached some top players but these players got big on the PGA Tour. A golfer’s average lifespan of being a top player is what, 5-7 years with some exceptions like Tiger, Phil, Jack ect. Does LIV plan on poaching top talent again once their stable of top golfers get forgotten or trail off (which they already have)
The CW TV deal seems worse than just having it on YouTube. Golf isnt a major TV sport so you already dont have a gigantic audience to pull from. Now youre asking them to watch something on a third tier cable channel with Dawson’s Creek being the lead in. I am not downloading a special app either. Seems like too many hoops to jump through to watch it while the PGA pops up on every streaming machine I have. At this point, LIV needs more exposure than just the idea of being on TV.
I also kind of realized I watch the PGA more for the courses, the way tension builds up going down the final stretch (Scottie watching golfers put the ball in the water on the 17th ahead of him was golf) and the simple fact its kind of habit for me now.
The players arent what draw me (save for a few) to the PGA, the shotgun start ruins that tension for the “lead group” in LIV and now I have to slog through finding the CW and making sense of courses I have never heard of with a shot every second coverage from LIV. Forget it, not watching.
Honest question could someone explain in a simply business and sports marketing sense what LIV is doing? Is there some sense I am missing here, I dont really have an axe to grind against the league but I am kind of shocked there isnt a natural hook for me as a casual fan.
PS. Dont blame the players, I would do just about everything for that money, agree the PGA has issues. I am more just asking if the “product” of LIV is geared in a specific way for a reason because I think its difficult for a casual fan to get into.
submitted by Brandonhansen18 to golf [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:13 WebMedic_com Building an app for marketing agencies

Hi everyone,
I am a programmer who’s made the same mistake when it comes to building a SaaS many times…
Most recently stumbled on a challenge marketers face, they spend a lot of time manually checking their campaigns and client’s KPIs.
Interviewed marketers and built an MVP based on their feedback.
…And then got zero sign ups when I launched and shared it with marketers to sign up.
Which was very confusing… but it got me seeking advice and learned a few important things:
  1. Branding is super important, I launched as “WebMedic” which gave the perception of a medical related service
Now the app is called SnapMetrics
  1. Early adopters are people actively searching for a solution
Sure if you talk to people you might find them interested in your solution, but they might be just being nice or honestly interested but it’s not a real pain point enough for them to try a new tool / pay for it.
And the most important lesson here is, the people you are looking for are already actively searching for solutions.
They are either asking questions online or searching for ways to solve the problem.
  1. You need to build your solution not just with feedback, but with someone who’s got skin in the game with you
It’s very easy for people to give you some feedback and constructive criticism
What you are looking for are people who are willing to put their resources (money, time) into helping you make the solution better, because they want it themselves as well
  1. Launching a SaaS may take time….
I say may because I see people who launch quickly and people are all over their solution giving them money for it
But it seems that’s not the norm, usually successful SaaS founders have tried building many products or regularly build a ship products
What’s next?
Now I am working with early adopters on shaping the app, found them on LinkedIn by doing cold outreach and posts
There is a long way to go and I am looking forward to it
Happy to answer any questions
submitted by WebMedic_com to EntrepreneurRideAlong [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:11 NpcMat Hi. I'm [18m] and my gf[19f]. I need some advice...

Hello.. firstly I would like to apologise for my bad English.
So I would like to get advice. Tbh it happeneds today. We was on "date" if u want to call it that way. And we was eating and after that after she eat her dish she went to bathroom. I was thinking it's normal. Then I finished eating and I goes to toilet. When I came back she was looking sad. I had no clue I was thinking everything OK. Bud when we goes to car... it was little bit weird. When we came to car I open it and we get in it. I asked her if everything was OK?. But her answer was" yes" but her face wasn't telling same think(the I asked more then once to be sure), but when we was leaving I asked if she wants go home?. Her answer was "yes" and "u ruined my mood". So I take her home and when she was still in car I asked "what have I done wrong" and I don't get answer she get out of car and slam with the door of car.
The I don't know what to do or what I did wrong. And I think it's good to mention I left my phone on table when I was on WC and she knows my password. Could someone gives me some advice.
submitted by NpcMat to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:09 The_OG_Smith PSA: Watch out for scammers. This is not an April Fool's joke.

There's always jokes about boomers falling for scams online or over the phone. I'm under 30 and got scammed, loosing 90% of everything I had.
I got a phone call from a supposed Customs & Border Patrol agent saying USPS intercepted some packages and they asked me about some bank accounts and properties in Texas. I told them none of that had to do with me. They also asked some questions like do I use public wifi (I do), if I gave my info to anyone lately (I gave my parents info to update their life insurance like a month ago), and if I had anything leak recently (google alerted me to change my password about two months ago due to a potential leak). They're like you have a warrant for your arrest in Texas, but we think it's identify theft, so you need to take some steps to avoid arrest.
They transferred me to a local sheriff who explained they would freeze the arrest warrant if I took x,y,z steps. Specifically, an Administrative Dispute Resolution (ADR). Then they transferred me to a US Marshal who kept me on the phone for a while. When they called me, they had my name, address, date of birth, knew I was a veteran with a clearance, and knew where I grew up. Next thing you know, my bank account got drained.
The entire event was scary. I've been dealing with stress from trying to graduate college this semester, moving and finding an apartment, personal relationships, and anxiety and panic attacks, and not sleeping well, so mentally I was vulnerable and should have realized it was a scam sooner. They were using real legal terms, with real but spoofed phone numbers, and real names of agents. After everything happened, I talked to the actual local sheriffs and they confirmed there was no warrant for my arrest and that the officer I talked to was fake. I took that police report to Navy Fed to report fraud and was told there wasn't much they could do, but we did submit a report and I am waiting to hear back from that. We also moved the rest of my money into new accounts, changed my pins and passwords, and set up a security phrase for over the phone transactions. I also submitted a report to the FBI.
So now I'm just waiting and hoping I can make it through the next couple of months until I graduate, move, start my new job. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. The sheriff told me that nobody would ever let you know that there is a warrant out for your arrest, and that should have been my first clue. At the end of the day, I was an idiot and should have known better. I have no idea if it was random, but they seemed to know a lot about me, so I could have been targeted for one reason or another. I'm trying to purge all my pictures, google docs, anything anywhere that could have PII. Luckily, as far as I know, the did not access my SSN. I'm not looking for sympathy, I know I'm an idiot, I just don't want this to happen to any other vets out there.
submitted by The_OG_Smith to Veterans [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:09 True-Win9997 A letter to my (MTF) Wife (cis Female)

This seems like an appropriate place to post, This is a letter I've written to give to my wife (as soon as I have the courage to, I came out to her in October 2022 as MTF. The last several months have have been very hard...we each have struggled at every level. We've been married for 20 years and have 2 daughter together (8 & 12).
Toxic Relationships….its the last thing I ready so I guess its what I’m going to hold onto that for this letter.
This is an article I found when reading up on toxic relationship last night (3/31/23). Its probably more of an article for you than me, since I’m the toxic person, or at least I was the original toxic person. Most, but not all of what I’ve read describes me. Maybe I’m not conscious of some of these things, but in the eyes of others, I am what they describe. Maybe that’s why we don’t have many friends……your reserve and quite, I’m toxic and people are just to polite to say so, so they just stay away.
As i’ve mentioned before in our many hard discussion about where we go from here, I feel extremely guilty and ashamed of the way I’ve treated you. Someone who was once so incessant and pure, has been shamed, ridiculed, abused (in may ways) by me, the person that you loved…but also a person that loves you. I can’t describe the pain this guilt brings me, yet I still can’t seem to stop the toxic behavior that I exhibit when we've mended fences over the last several months. It’s as if it’s not a conscious decision to treat you the way I do, but more of a bad habit, muscle memory to be a jerk, an ass and everything else I am to you, others an even sometimes to our girls.
The article mentions toxic people being control freaks, needing control of everything and everyone around them. I guess that is me. I know I’m a controlling person, but I’m only starting to realize this its extremely toxic to other and to the people I cherish the most….my family….my wife. Even though I’ve tried recently not to be that person and don’t want to be that type of person….it seems that everyone has accepted me to be that way and just deal with it, and I never see the exit ramp to stop being that way.
Why am I a control freak, why I’m I toxic. Maybe I want to have more control of the things that I can because of the things that I can’t control….The things that I can’t control and the things that I can’t talk to anyone about. The things that are too taboo to discuss to the closest person in my life, versus anyone else. Does something like coming out as TG destroy a marriage because it just does, or does it destroy a marriage that was already severely fractured…and as you start to peel back the layers, its surprising it lasted as long as it did if it wasn’t for the love for each other and values instilled in us as we were younger.
This coming out is all part of trying to be a better person. Trying to release or remove the burdens in my life that I’ve carried for so many years. The shame and despair I’ve felt may be the underlying reason I treat people the way I do. The reality seems to be, these are burdens I’ve inflected on others that I’m not really conscious of. The burdens that you have carried and others by being in a relationship, friendship and/or professional relationship with me. I’m the reason you are the hard, cold, insulated person you are now. You weren’t that way when we met, I’ve turned you into this person. I’m the reason you're unhappy, I’m the reason I’m unhappy. I’m only recently realizing I’m the problem. The realization of such has brought on more guilt and shame on top of what I’ve already been carrying. This has lead to the systematic breakdown of my confidence and ability to overcome the challenges that lay before us. I want out, not because I don’t love you or the kids, or because I don’t want it to work, but because I want to stop the hemorrhaging, the absolute destruction and death of our relationship at every level before there is nothing left to come back to, to salvage, to rebuilt or at the very least, something we can still have with our two beautifully and innocent girls…I’ve already destroyed you, I can imagine unknowingly destroying them as well.
As we discussed this last night, this letter was intended to tell you what I planned to do to be a better persons, someone you can be in love with again, like you used be. The reality is, I have no clue what to do. Even when I thought I was doing the right thing it was wrong. I’ve sure I’ve done good things in my life, you fell in love with me at the time for the right reasons…but even then, in the beginning, I was already doing a wrong by hiding this other part of me. I’ve failed before I even started…. I’m broken, I’m lost, for everything that is about who I am…it isn’t. Because I was never honest with you or even myself about who I am, even when I didn’t know who or what that was.
After all this, I still don’t have the courage to leave you, the courage to save you from me. I’m being selfish, I’m trying to be controlling. I can’t do it without knowing you will be okay, That you see the light beyond our fractured relationship. That we can maintain a relationship that allows our girls to see the best in us, the best in themselves. I stand here hoping the last decision we make as a married couple is the right one.
submitted by True-Win9997 to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:08 ThrowRA26194620 My (20f) boyfriend (25M) used a tiktok for my birthday gifts, and then lied about it

INFO : Me and my boyfriend have been together for just about to be two years (anniversary is in a week or so), it was my birthday two days ago. I live with him, he does work from home and I am in university + working at a cafe on weekends. We have lived together for about 6 months. He is one of my friends brothers and that is how we met.
So, a few days ago it was my birthday. I am a VERY big gift giver and always make it clear that I don’t expect that to be reciprocated. it’s my love language, i put a lot of time and effort and money into gifts, but i understand not everyone finds it as easy as i do and i don’t expect super personal or expensive gifts in return. My boyfriend has been insecure of this since we started dating, he would always be scared to show me his gifts for xmas or my bday because he thought it wouldn’t be as good as mine, but i really don’t care.
Anyway, this year he was very excited to give me his gifts, claiming that he had put a lot of time into it, and he knew it was something i’d love. I was VERY excited, because if he’s excited it must be good! I’ve been working really hard and so has he so I thought it may be a trip away somewhere. He makes a lot more money than me but we split expenses 50/50 (why i have cafe job) so i figured maybe he had saved for something big.
Part of my enjoyment with gift giving involves looking at a LOT of gift guides on basically all websites. that includes tiktok. it just so happened that on the morning of my birthday, before i got my gifts, i was scrolling on tiktok and saw a gift guide specifying what to get different ‘genres’ of women for valentine’s day. One of the genres mentioned in the tiktok happens to be a niche that my style falls into, you can see where this is going.
The time comes, my gifts are handed over, and he has gotten me exactly what the tiktok i had watched earlier told him to get me.
The thing is, while i do have the same style as one of the girls in the tiktok, i don’t appear to share anything else in common with that archetype. I was handed a dior blush, a dior lip gloss, and a rose water thing from some other brand. i do not wear makeup often and when i do it is not that kind of makeup… i’m not interested in lipglosses or blush. i do take interest in skincare but the product he gave me was essentially expensive water.
I did say thank you, and i gave him a hug and smiles. however, i was offended that he seemingly didn’t take much notice of core aspects about who i am, such as the fact that i don’t wear lipgloss because i don’t like the feeling, or that i had complained to him many times about how naturally rosy my cheeks are (i have rosacea) and that i make it a point to not add more blush.
i decided to bring it up to him, im not usually shy about confrontation but i thought there was a chance it was a coincidence and he genuinely did think hard about the gifts. i was very nice, i showed him the tiktok and asked if he had gotten the ideas for the gifts from there, and he looked me in my eyes and said ‘No, that’s an insane coincidence, but i came up with the ideas myself’. and i fully believed him. until about 10 hours later, when i was speaking to my friend (who is his sister) and she showed me where she had sent him the link to the tiktok, message saying ‘ideas?’ about a month ago.
so i brought it up to him again! i told him that i knew and that i understood he struggled with ideas but i would’ve preferred anything he came up with himself, and that i didn’t like that he lied to me. yknow what this man did? he told me that he thinks i should stop speaking to his sister, and that she was getting into my head and giving me ideas.
i got emotional at this point, it was all very overwhelming, and i’m also doing uni exams so i’m stressed about that too at the moment. he kept telling me that my emotions were taking control and ‘it’s crazy to expect someone to come up with new gift ideas for you every time’ but that’s not what i expect, i expect some thought put into anything he does for my birthday, and i expect him not to lie to me about it. am i going insane? are my expectations too high?
i can’t stay at my parents house because they live like ten hours away now, and i don’t have many friends at the moment, so i’m kinda trapped in the house. he says i’m making him sad because i slept on the couch last night, so i’m probably gonna move back to the bed, but he still hasn’t apologised.
just basically wondering what i should do, do i wait for an apology or ask for one, should i just let it go? i’m now kinda worried about what he’s got planned for our anniversary, because if he puts no effort into that, it may cause me to look at him quite badly. i can’t really leave him and don’t want to because he’s been there for me through everything including helping me choose which uni to go to and then moving here with me.
submitted by ThrowRA26194620 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:08 PassionateGhost [REQUEST] [STEAM] Battlefield 4 £8.74 on sale until April 13th

I used to play a ton of Battlefield back on xbox, I would play them with my friends day after day, night after night.
Recently me and my friends have all moved to PC, so naturally we've been forced to rebuy all the games we enjoyed on xbox.
Me and my friends saw that Battlefield 4 went on sale, they already bought it but I'm currently a bit short on money, and so I can't buy the game.
It would mean so much to me to be able to be able to play the game again, especially with my friends. I would buy it my self but like I said I'm a bit short on money and there's some things in my personal life that I need to save for
I don't really like requesting for games, idk why, I don't mind give aways but seeing as there are none for Battlefield at the moment and how much the games mean to me I'm willing to atleast ask if I can't buy them or get them in a giveaway.
I managed to get enough money to buy Battlefield 1 but, I was unable to get enough for Battlefield 4 and I doubt I will with the stuff that's coming up in my life.
Battlefield has always been in my top 10 game series and Battlefield 4 has always been one of if not my favourite. The series has always been there for me through my ups and downs and I would love to be able to play it on PC.
My steam profile link is here:
If someone does end up buying this for me I would be forever thankful, and if I no one does that's fine as well, I'm just grateful for the opportunity.
submitted by PassionateGhost to GiftofGames [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:07 semperfidelisnn0938 A Little Qanon Related Humor at My People's Expense

I hope the moderators can see the value in a little humor, mostly at the expense of my Essex County, New Jersey upbringing in the Jewish faith. If you are a Catholic, consider what follows and perhaps, given the season, write "The Twelve Stations of the Indictment" or some such.
If you are the redditor who reported your concern for me the other day when I, expressing my extreme loneliness at having returned from prison to find in the world in such a state and my family succumbing to Q, please know I talked to someone at the VA and you may have saved my life that night. Thank you, kind friend.
This is a little long, but it's fun, especially if you grew up where I did.
Tell your Q you called 1.866.JUDAISM, in order to join the persecution of their savior along with us, and got the following:
Thank you for contacting Judaism. Due to an unusually high interest in our faith, due in part to the upcoming crucifixion of the Messiah of the Q's, our second in two millennia, no one is available to answer your call right now, but we want to thank you for your interest in Judaism, the monotheist's favorite faith and the only one with a people Chosen by G-d. Your questions, comments, and concerns are important to us, please continue to hold. Your call is number (THREE) in queue to be answered.
Please listen closely to the following options as our menu has changed.
For a dial by terrible, whiny, phlegmy sounding name directory, press one.
To report someone acting like a schlemiel, press two.
If you've accidentally taken a drink from a well you or a friend has poisoned, press three.
For the latest recipes for matzoh using the blood of Christian children, press four.
If you really think either you, Madonna, or most people who claim such things have any clue about Kabbalah, press five...and then go to Christian Hell.
If you wish to change tribes, or upgrade to Orthodox Platinum, which comes with a free subscription to our online magazine, "Hypochondriac? Shympochondriac! I'm Telling You, I'm Sick. Look, Right Here. Feel This Inflammation. You Tell Me. Is a Healthy Gland Supposed to Feel Like That? Hypochondriac...And Where Did You Get Your Degree, a Grass Hut in Nairobi Mister Big Shot Doctor?" press six.
If you've received a message telling you to invest in nasal spray manufacturers or if you can't tell when your girlfriend reaches completion, and you believe it was an error or would like to order a nailfile for her to drop, press seven.
If you, like I, took your girlfriend's toches last night and would like her to stop complaining about it because it was, after all, your birthday, please press eight to order some little shiksa because good Jewish girls really shouldn't be doing that sort of thing, for shame, Aaron, for disappoint me, I'm not angry. Okay? Not angry. Calm down. Breathe. Good. Okay? Look, you're so creative and you bring so much good into the world and I just know, because a mother knows these things, call it a sense, that you are going to do great things one day. Right now? After hearing this? I'm just disappointed. You should know better by now, bubee. Really. You should know better. That's the sort of things those Catholic girls do. Okay? Not your girlfriend. Nicole is from Livingston and her family is very active in Beth Am. You know what they call that town? Livingstein. Girls from a place like that with a family so active in the faith and the community don't do...well that. You know who would do that sort of thing? Meadow Soprano or that little friend of hers, Hunter. Meadow Soprano? She was on The Sopranos. The television show. No, it wasn't about a choir, Mister Weisenheimer. It was a show about mobsters. Like Mister Pinto and those boys of his, who are they fooling? Waste management. Yes, Aaron. He's a mobster. Everybody knows that. Everyone in that business is, oh but don't say anything to them because your sister does ballet with one of their cousins. Anyway, put down your phone for a second, wipe the dust off of that television, you know the thing your father and I still watch and the thing we paid thousands of dollars for so it could collect dust on the wall of your room like some Rembrandt at MOMA and watch it instead of looking for hours on end at little girls undressing and dancing on Tik Tak. Tik Tak. That app you're always looking at. Tik Tok? Are you sure? I've been calling it Tik Tak. No, I watched something about this and like five senators called it Tik Tak. Well, good. They should ban it. But we're off topic. Meadow Soprano was a girl played by Jamie Lynn Ziegler. No. Z-I-E...doesn't that thing have autocorrect? Use it. Okay. Anyway, Jamie was a beautiful girl with a beautiful voice, she actually ended up on Broadway. I saw her once. Divine. No, I didn't take the PATH in. Because it smells, bubee. Like pee. We took a car service, why does it matter how we got there? Ugh. Not angry. Not angry. You just frustrate me sometimes with these questions. Anyway, saw her live. Orchestra seats. So much talent. Anyway, Meadow Soprano, or better yet, that little friend of hers, you could just tell by looking at them, that is the kind of girl you do something like that with. Okay? Not Nicole. Not anyone from JCC, not those girls you meet at camp, have fun, that's why we send you, but I don't need details, I'm your mother, I'm here if you want to talk about it or if you have any questions but, please, for my sake, ask your father or one of his brothers, but not Uncle Andy he couldn't handle that sort of thing right now, don't ask, or even Rabbi Krauss, he's not a priest after all, and, finally, bubee, none of the girls from synagogue. Nicole? She's one of us and we don't do that sort of thing. Ask your father. I know what he does with that so-called secretary of his and it's fine. Okay? He thinks I don't know but I know what with those outfits she's always wearing and all that makeup. She might as well hang a big, neon sign around her neck that says "Open for Business. Parking in Rear." That's right I know all about these things. But that's not why we're talking, now is it? Again. Not angry. Just disappointed. Now, come on, I went to Harold's. No, not that one, the good one in Teaneck. You should see the counters at that other one. Haven't been cleaned since Moses ate manna and quail there, right? Now let me make you something. You'll feel better after you eat, I promise.
If you've caught your death because you went out dressed like that, and in this, press nine.
If you no longer wish to receive emails and text alerts about days when we will crash planes into buildings, please go to That's, www.melgibsonwasrightaboutus all as one word, then an underscore then in the whole mishpocha will be attending seder except your brother but he sends his blessings and those from that wife of his and the little ones she's been blessed with, oh his oldest just got accepted at Julliard, I know, right, now if she would ever just finally grow out of that emo phase she's been in for what, a decade, but you had your phases too, even if you refuse to admit it now, I remember when your counselor called me from Camp Winola and told me you had bought a shirt with a picture of Che Guevara on it and were sitting around the fire singing the Adomalon in it, plus the fact that you didn't understand the irony of buying a communist t-shirt from a corporation then wasn't so bad because you were young and we all go through phases, it's part of growth, or so says Rabbi Krauss and he's so learned, it was embarrassing back then, yes, but not so embarrassing to me as it is now when you're still preaching that schlock to your friends in the Green Party while billing your clients $300 an hour, which is fair, in that trans-vaginal mesh class action because someone beat you to that goldmine with that contaminated water at Camp Lejeune, oh isn't that horrible, but it's good someone is going to hold them to account, we're so proud of you, anyway he sends his blessings from their place down in Freehold and you know him he never really followed the faith too closely, really puts the "ish" in Jewish, that one...Dot com, then a backslash and then the letters Z-O-G. Click on the unsubscribe button and then enter your email and mobile number. Please allow nine to eleven business days for your request to be processed.
Please continue to hold. Your estimated wait time is far less time than it's been since you called your mother and you know how she worries, you really should be better to her, she who gave you life and carried you in her womb for nine months with that back of hers. And don't forget, Mister three days late, oy, the labor pains she bore for you and now, you can't even take five minutes to call? You do whatever you think is right, okay? That's what you always do anyway.
To leave a message, please complain neurotically or cough for three minutes, you should really get that checked out, you sound terrible, or until you hear the tone.
Once again, we'd like to thank you for your interest in Judaism, our people, our traditions, and the wars we cause. Please continue to hold.
submitted by semperfidelisnn0938 to Qult_Headquarters [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:06 GrahamCoxon [Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves] One of the heroes is not what you think they are (Spoilers)

Edgin Darvis is introduced to us as a Bard and for those of us who play or even know a little about D&D, we assume this to be his class. I believe, however, that when he introduces himself in this way isn't using the term in the sense of an in-game class, but instead simply in the common-usage sense of the term. [This also seems to happen with Doric, who is referred to by the heroes as a druid but by other characters as a 'Wildshape', using the unambiguous name of an in-game Druid's signature ability as a proper noun for what they are]. I believe Edgin is in fact a Rogue.
Before getting into the evidence, a quick primer on the two classes for those who don't play D&D:
The two classes are united by one signature ability - expertise. This allows them to pick a couple of skills to be really, really good at. Similarly, they are able to become pretty good at a much wider range of skills than most other classes. Overall they're fairly similar, and in the new version of the rules currently being play-tested they get paired together as the two 'expert' classes whose abilities are based on well-practiced skills rather than innate magical ability, physicality, or book-learning.
With that in mind, what clues are there that Edgin is one rather than the other? Let's start with the circumstantial: during the entire film we don't see Edgin use any magic whatsoever. Now of course, its not beyond the realm of possibility for someone who has magical powers to simply not use them, but in a film where every other hero uses the signature abilities of their class it is beyond suspicious for a spellcaster to not cast any spells whatsoever. Its also slightly possible that he is doing whatever casting he does subtly, or using a spell like Vicious Mockery which only requires words to take effect, but in a film that does such a good job of visualising magic it seems strange for that to not at least be shown to the audience.
What do we see him do? Well, we see him excel as a spy using his cunning, his ability to blend in, and a good amount of hand-eye coordination. He does all of this without the use of even the most simple illusion magic Bards have access to, and the only time his instrument is even involved is to trip someone as they run.
As for the less circumstantial evidence, we look to the moment when the heroes become part of the HighSun Games. The two other characters proclaimed to be from spellcasting classes - Doric the Druid and Simon the Sorcerer - are fitted with devices which prevent them from casting spells. Edgin is not. This would make sense as maybe being part of an ongoing deception where he has successfully hidden his magical abilities, but he has been put in this situation by someone who knows him well - someone he has adventured with no less. Someone who has seen first-hand exactly what he is (and isn't) capable of. Someone who is, themselves, purportedly a Rogue.
So what is Edgin? He is a charismatic Rogue with musical talents.
Its also worth quickly addressing the one key piece of evidence against this theory - the statblock published on D&D Beyond for the character in the buildup to the film. This lists Edgin's class as Bard, even though some other characters aren't even given a specific class despite clearly having one in the film. This statblock also gives Edgin access to some Bard-specific powers and spells, most notably the aforementioned Vicious Mockery cantrip. However, the other statblocks also give characters abilities we never see, such as giving Forge the ability to deal poison damage when firing a crossbow despite not even managing to fire a crossbow the one time he picks one up in the film. Ultimately, as a piece of media made to market the film, its understandable for the statblock to not spoil what I see as a fun in-film easter egg.
submitted by GrahamCoxon to FanTheories [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:02 Kolomo Finally able to save income. Most clear-cut path to getting a GTA down payment?

Hi friends – hope this would be the right place for this.
Finally free of student loans and for the first time making money that isn’t immediately given back to the bank. Currently run my own business on track for ~120k after expenses before taxes in the first year, with expectations of growth in further years.
Living with parents in Ontario as a secondary caregiver means I pay neither rent or a mortgage. My personal expenses are kept to an absolute minimum (I am accustom to the student peasant life). My intention is to save for a down payment on my own place within the GTA. Hopeful timeline is around 1.5-2 years. Wondering what the best method of "saving" is to make this happen.
My FA suggested I open as high-an-interest savings account as possible within my TFSA (not maxed – have ~60k contribution room), as well as anticipate the near FHSA. Wondering if this is the right move when interest rates are obviously higher in non-TFSA savings accounts (but being taxable). My RRSP also has 0 within it, as I have never had career-level income until this year.
Thoughts? My bank rep tried to talk to me about GICs within my TFSA but he’s not the most articulate guy (and I haven’t had the chance to either sit down and understand how they work myself, or had someone explain them to me in a way that makes me confident in them).
Thanks for the time & energy.
submitted by Kolomo to PersonalFinanceCanada [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 22:01 AutoModerator [Get] Content Mavericks – The Greatest Hits Content System

[Get] Content Mavericks – The Greatest Hits Content System
Download course here:
[Get] Content Mavericks – The Greatest Hits Content System

Who it’s for

Greatest Hits Content is best for you if you run a client-based business that sells a high ticket service, coaching, or consulting offer for $500 or more. If this is you, you’re probably struggling with:
  • Getting clients without needing to do manual cold email outreach
  • Acquiring a handful of clients who pay premium prices on a recurring basis
  • Working with clients who have more money than time
  • Executing a content strategy that works to acquire high ticket clients vs SEO traffic
  • Turning leads into clients so you never have to worry about losing one big client
  • Living month-to-month with unstable cashflow

What it helps you achieve

Greatest Hits Content will help you achieve the following in 30-90 days:
  • Build recurring revenue by adding 5-10 high paying, recurring clients to your business
  • Find the right content topics to attract larger clients who want your help
  • Position you as a “market of one” so clients can only get what you sell from you
  • Grow an audience you own and can contact anytime you need a new client
  • Take on a new client whenever you need by sending one email
  • Run small budget ads to your content to add new prospects to your email list daily
  • Get off the content creation hamster wheel by doing all of the above with 1-5 pieces of content (aka 1-5 “greatest hits”)

How it works

Greatest Hits Content is broken down into seven parts (with templates, email swipes, and examples you can model). Every part has an over-the-shoulder video training that is 30-90 minutes in length.

Part 1: Greatest Hits Content Survey

TL;DR: How to find content topics using a unique survey method.
  • The three questions you need to ask to find the best content topics.
  • The survey template we used to get 104 responses.
  • How to analyze the survey results and prioritize what content to create first.
  • How to check if the topics from your survey have organic traffic potential.
  • How to run this survey on social media if you don’t have an email list.

Part 2: AIDA Article Template

TL;DR: How to create slam dunk content every time with a proven writing template.
  • How to write the headline, outline, and body of your blog posts to hook in the right readers.
  • The writing template we use (based on the exact same template we used to attract the Head of Product Marketing at Amazon with one blog post).
  • Introduction and body copy formulas for the five blog post formats we’ve found that work the best to attract big clients.
  • Live examples of how to write content that gets clients and ranks on Google.
  • One resource you can use to outsource your content for less than $0.18 per word, if you don’t want to write it.

Part 3: Three Jabs Strategy

TL;DR: How to get over 10% of your traffic to convert into leads.
  • How to use “Utility Content Upgrades” to convert content-driven traffic into leads.
  • REAL LIFE EXAMPLE: The content conversion strategy we used on one blog to convert the blog’s traffic into 10,080 email leads per month.
  • How to track what individual pieces of content convert to clients the best, so you can double down on promoting your top converters.
  • How to make sure more of your emails hit your leads inbox so they see your offer (hint: Active Audience).
  • How to customize the experience for every visitor to your site so you get more conversions from your content.

Part 4: Red Packet Partnerships

TL;DR: How to get 100-1,000 leads in a day (without SEO or paid ads).
  • How to find partners who can add 100-1,000 leads to your business in one day, using your content and “guest emails”.
  • The free tool we use to add emails to our mailing list, when someone clicks a link inside one of our partner’s emails. No one teaches this.
  • How to track how many clients come from every partnership, so you can do more promos with partners who deliver high paying clients.
  • Three warm partner methods and three cold partner methods. Start with the warm partner methods for quick and easy partnership wins.
  • The exact partnership script we use to land win-win partnerships with big influencers we’ve never met before.

Part 5: $5 Hit Records

TL;DR: How to run small budget content distribution ads to get daily leads.
  • The one Google Analytics report you need to look at to see which of your content converts the best, so you can promote it in your ads.
  • A live demo of how to set up your ads inside the ad network with the exact conversion objective and settings you need to use.
  • The step-by-step standard operating procedure our team uses that you can follow or give to a team member to set up your ads for you.
  • A campaign planning template with ad copy, headlines, and blog post URLs so you can fill-in-the-blanks, then upload your ads into the ad network.
  • How we write ads that get shares and leads. I go over one of our highest converting ads with a 20% share-to-reaction ratio, and breakdown how to write one for yourself.

Part 6: Viral Content Upgrades

TL;DR: How to get strangers to share your content daily (without cold outreach).
  • What to do after someone opts-in to your email list so you get more traffic to your content without paying more for ads.
  • Content upgrades vs viral content upgrades. How, when, and where to use each of them to get maximum shares and leads from your content.
  • The free viral sharing tool we use to get people to share our blog posts. This is 25x more effective than the share bars you see on blogs nowadays.
  • How to leverage “credibility content” in your viral content upgrades to turn sharers into clients.
  • A live demo from blog post to social share so you can see how it all works how to set it all up.

Part 7: 900 Word Emails

TL;DR: How to get $500-$15,000 clients (without a phone call).
  • Four GOATs of email marketing who’ve driven millions of dollars from email. Here’s what I learnt from each of them to run 6-figure email campaigns.
  • How to use “presell content” to get the most qualified prospects in your audience to raise their hand that they want your help.
  • How to find the trigger points that get your clients to buy. Once you know these, you can keep using them in your emails to bring on new clients.
  • Word-for-word examples of how to write your emails, including how to word the call to action at the end of your email so people reply to your offer.
  • How to have a natural conversation with people over chat, so you can see if what you have to offer is a good fit for them, then bring them on as a client.
submitted by AutoModerator to CoursesBestOf2023 [link] [comments]