1988 chevy s10 blue book value
For International Harvester Truck Fans
2013.05.23 15:13 mackey103 For International Harvester Truck Fans
A place for International fans to post pictures, stories, anything they want about International. We want to see it all, from the tractors, to the scouts and light line, to the big rigs.
2020.05.30 19:47 ascottishman100 International Harvester Trucks
Please go to /InternationalTrucks (No underscore in that)
2013.05.28 16:13 Dorkside Wayward Pines - The FOX TV Show
Subreddit for Wayward Pines, an TV series on FOX from M. Night Shyamalan. [IMDB](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2618986/)
2023.03.29 01:40 PokingDogSnouts My "girlfriend" of one year has been in Turkey the past four months. Every single day of those four months, she has fed me the mistaken impression she was divorcing from an old marriage of years ago. It turns out she is staying.
From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
submitted by PokingDogSnouts to love [link] [comments]
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
2023.03.29 01:35 PokingDogSnouts My "girlfriend" of one year has been in Turkey the past four months. Every single day of those four months, she has fed me the mistaken impression she was divorcing from an old marriage of years ago. It turns out she is staying.
From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
TL;DR: We're both 32. She escaped a miserable marriage in a foreign country (Turkey) and we met half a year afterwards, falling completely in love with each other, speeding past each relationship step until we were in each other's arms and seeing one another every single week, for eight months. I was under the impression this whole time that she'd be going to Turkey to divorce, yet four patient months after she left... I find out she's staying, for religious reasons, and possibly the pressure of her parents. I have never felt so betrayed and used, by someone I thought truly loved me, for the first time. There is still reason to believe she isn't doing this entirely of her own choice, because I get the strong sense she has no love for this man—who is a conniving manipulator who acts like he has morality on his side all because of religion—and her own parents have shown themselves to be suffocatingly overbearing and controlling.
submitted by PokingDogSnouts to relationships [link] [comments]
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
TL;DR: We're both 32. She escaped a miserable marriage in a foreign country (Turkey) and we met half a year afterwards, falling completely in love with each other, speeding past each relationship step until we were in each other's arms and seeing one another every single week, for eight months. I was under the impression this whole time that she'd be going to Turkey to divorce, yet four patient months after she left... I find out she's staying, for religious reasons, and possibly the pressure of her parents. I have never felt so betrayed and used, by someone I thought truly loved me, for the first time. There is still reason to believe she isn't doing this entirely of her own choice, because I get the strong sense she has no love for this man—who is a conniving manipulator who acts like he has morality on his side all because of religion—and her own parents have shown themselves to be suffocatingly overbearing and controlling.
2023.03.29 00:46 earththejerry Question on Nan Pierce's Motivations and Thought Process
So when we were introduced to Nan Pierce, her family, and PGM in season 2, we already know there's bad blood between them and Logan. If the Roys are based on the Murdochs, the Pierces are the blue blood, Pulitzer-winning, old money New England media family like the Bancrofts of WSJ, casually name dropping Teddy Roosevelts and believing their role in taking down the Berlin Wall and ending the Cold War. But they could still see the writing on the wall and how their family business and the media industry is facing trouble (which is affirmed by a big market valuation cut in S4E1), and always seems open to a sale, which Logan repeatedly tried to pull off.
In season 2 we see that Waystar's high bid price finally convinced them to open up to talks, and they tried to get some assurances via Shiv being announced as the successor but gave in at the end to the price. Once the cruise story broke out in the Argestes episode however, Nan pulled the plug to a $25 billion price tag and seemingly burned all bridges with the Roys, only to agree to a much reduced price tag with both Logan and the siblings in last Sunday's episode.
So looking back at those S2 episodes, what was the motivation/thought process behind Nan Pierce pulling the plug to the original deal?
I thought a really interesting aspect to Nan's character is how she presents herself one way and is actually another way - she gasps at the high prices that Argestes charged its media mogul attendees and professes to have a cheap taste in wine, yet as Gerri mockingly mentioned in Tern Haven, she was "already spending the money in her head" before the deal was agreed to. She may not want people to think of her as gauche, but she clearly values material wellness, as evident by her bicoastal estates and large extended family's needs.
As Rhea mentioned in the Argestes episode after the cruise story broke, the family probably could overlook the scandal "if it were just a few bad apples" in the past, and poked fun at how the cousins were still reading the story even though they clearly don't need that much time to finish it given how many books these Ivy-educated academics read, basically hinting that the family just wants to get the deal done and look the other way on the scandal.
Nan's turning point seemed to be when the comedian made lewd jokes about the scandal at the Argestes dinner, but it seems like her primary motivation was finding out Rhea and Logan seems to be working together and alluded to a secret meeting they had that she wasn't aware of.
Which begs the question if that meeting was the Panic Room meeting, since before that, Ken and Frank mentioned the family didn't know Rhea was coming and Rhea was trying to make up excuses when stuck in the room and having to cancel her other meetings. But that got me more confused because Rhea was very clear about not selling in their official meeting, and it was only by chance when the Panic Room situation allowed more time for the Roys to dangle their big price tag that convinced Rhea to take the number back to the Pierces. But the point is, Rhea didn't go into the meeting ready to work with the Roys, she went in just to get a feeler. Doesn't seem to be big enough of a thing for Nan to be so pissed off and throw away a $25 billion buyout and firing her CEO.
And even if she felt betrayed, she clearly still became open to a buyout by Logan in last Sunday's episode. And the whole game with the siblings made it apparent she just wants the best price. But that clearly was the $25 billion number afforded to her before.
Sorry for the rambling, but the point is, Nan's character is clearly written to be someone who says one thing and acts another, and her goal is to get the best deal for her family despite her outward "I don't care for money I'm a different kind of rich mogul" demeanor.
It didn't seem to make sense for a cruise scandal story to make her u-turn and tank her desire for a good deal, but even if she truly was disgusted by the story or by Logan's conspiring with Rhea, it then doesn't seem to make sense that she's open to a sale again to the man she loathes for a much reduced price tag later on, especially after the cruise allegations have been confirmed and Waystar facing a giant fine.
submitted by earththejerry to SuccessionTV [link] [comments]
In season 2 we see that Waystar's high bid price finally convinced them to open up to talks, and they tried to get some assurances via Shiv being announced as the successor but gave in at the end to the price. Once the cruise story broke out in the Argestes episode however, Nan pulled the plug to a $25 billion price tag and seemingly burned all bridges with the Roys, only to agree to a much reduced price tag with both Logan and the siblings in last Sunday's episode.
So looking back at those S2 episodes, what was the motivation/thought process behind Nan Pierce pulling the plug to the original deal?
I thought a really interesting aspect to Nan's character is how she presents herself one way and is actually another way - she gasps at the high prices that Argestes charged its media mogul attendees and professes to have a cheap taste in wine, yet as Gerri mockingly mentioned in Tern Haven, she was "already spending the money in her head" before the deal was agreed to. She may not want people to think of her as gauche, but she clearly values material wellness, as evident by her bicoastal estates and large extended family's needs.
As Rhea mentioned in the Argestes episode after the cruise story broke, the family probably could overlook the scandal "if it were just a few bad apples" in the past, and poked fun at how the cousins were still reading the story even though they clearly don't need that much time to finish it given how many books these Ivy-educated academics read, basically hinting that the family just wants to get the deal done and look the other way on the scandal.
Nan's turning point seemed to be when the comedian made lewd jokes about the scandal at the Argestes dinner, but it seems like her primary motivation was finding out Rhea and Logan seems to be working together and alluded to a secret meeting they had that she wasn't aware of.
Which begs the question if that meeting was the Panic Room meeting, since before that, Ken and Frank mentioned the family didn't know Rhea was coming and Rhea was trying to make up excuses when stuck in the room and having to cancel her other meetings. But that got me more confused because Rhea was very clear about not selling in their official meeting, and it was only by chance when the Panic Room situation allowed more time for the Roys to dangle their big price tag that convinced Rhea to take the number back to the Pierces. But the point is, Rhea didn't go into the meeting ready to work with the Roys, she went in just to get a feeler. Doesn't seem to be big enough of a thing for Nan to be so pissed off and throw away a $25 billion buyout and firing her CEO.
And even if she felt betrayed, she clearly still became open to a buyout by Logan in last Sunday's episode. And the whole game with the siblings made it apparent she just wants the best price. But that clearly was the $25 billion number afforded to her before.
Sorry for the rambling, but the point is, Nan's character is clearly written to be someone who says one thing and acts another, and her goal is to get the best deal for her family despite her outward "I don't care for money I'm a different kind of rich mogul" demeanor.
It didn't seem to make sense for a cruise scandal story to make her u-turn and tank her desire for a good deal, but even if she truly was disgusted by the story or by Logan's conspiring with Rhea, it then doesn't seem to make sense that she's open to a sale again to the man she loathes for a much reduced price tag later on, especially after the cruise allegations have been confirmed and Waystar facing a giant fine.
2023.03.29 00:45 PokingDogSnouts My "girlfriend" of one year has been in Turkey the past four months. Every single day of those four months, she has fed me the mistaken impression she was divorcing from an old marriage of years ago. It turns out she is staying.
From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
submitted by PokingDogSnouts to dating [link] [comments]
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
2023.03.29 00:45 PokingDogSnouts My "girlfriend" of one year has been in Turkey the past four months. Every single day of those four months, she has fed me the mistaken impression she was divorcing from an old marriage of years ago. It turns out she is staying.
From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
submitted by PokingDogSnouts to Vent [link] [comments]
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
2023.03.28 19:07 NSmalls [USA-NJ] [H] N64 Collection [W] Local cash
Selling my middle school N64 collection. I tested all of the games and they all work. I did not test the GameShark because the book is long gone. The copy of Smash sometimes needs a little alcohol on a Q-tip before starting up. I am the original owner of all these games except where you see the comment "Rental label," which means I bought it used from a video rental store.
I looked up the value for all of these games on PriceCharting and the total is $883. I am hoping to sell this locally as a lot for $500 cash. I live in Jersey City in a location convenient to the PATH train and can meet you at a coffee shop.
submitted by NSmalls to GameSale [link] [comments]
I looked up the value for all of these games on PriceCharting and the total is $883. I am hoping to sell this locally as a lot for $500 cash. I live in Jersey City in a location convenient to the PATH train and can meet you at a coffee shop.
| Game | PriceCharting Price | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| GameShark 64 | $24.99 | Unknown version number |
| Pokemon Transfer Pak | $15.85 | |
| TLoZ OoT | $45.64 | Slight label fading |
| 1080 Snowboarding | $10.25 | |
| Jet Force Gemini | $12.99 | |
| Super Mario 64 | $38.74 | |
| Super Smash Bros | $43.94 | Label fading |
| Space Station Silicon Valley | $47.21 | |
| goemon | $92.21 | Rental labels |
| Wave Race | $12.25 | |
| Duke Nukem 64 | $30.04 | |
| NFL Blitz 2001 | $21.46 | Label is half peeled |
| Flying Dragon | $28.46 | |
| Donkey Kong 64 | $31.83 | |
| Kobe Bryant NBA Courtside | $5.00 | |
| Star Wars Rogue Squadron | $12.49 | |
| Bomberman Hero | $20.00 | |
| Rush 2 Extreme Racing USA | $15.33 | |
| Star Wars Shadow of the Empire | $13.00 | |
| Super Mario Party 3 | $55.00 | |
| F-zero X | $37.50 | |
| Yoshi's Story | $28.30 | |
| Mario Kart 64 | $42.36 | |
| Pokemon Stadium | $32.00 | |
| Shadowgate 64 | $37.56 | |
| Excite Bike 64 | $13.72 | |
| Forsaken 64 | $10.00 | |
| 007 The World is Not Enough | $15.60 | Rental labels |
| Green Controller | $25.74 | Stick worn out |
| Grey Controller | $13.02 | Stick worn out |
| Grey Controller | $13.02 | Stick worn out |
| Ice Blue Controller | $38.02 | Stick worn out |
2023.03.28 19:01 MinorGlitch Revisiting series you have dropped
Does anyone else question whether or not they should revisit series they started but dropped? I have quite a few series that just didn't work for me for one reason or another. Everything from didn't like the artwork, didn't find it interesting, horrible translation, etc. For the most part, I'll give just about any series 3 volumes to get me interested in the story if it doesn't I don't buy volume 4. But I'm left wondering if I gave the ones listed below a fair chance or if I dropped them too early.
Komi Can't Communicate (3 volumes)
This is the one that I wonder the most if I dropped too early. I actually enjoyed the first 3 volumes. I'll be honest, it was the anime that ruined it for me. And I liked the anime, mostly (still haven't finished season 2). It gave me the impression that it was going to be a rinse and repeat type of series. Feel awkward, meet new person, misunderstandings ensue, they start to understand, repeat until you make 100 friends. That and the fact that they seemed to be releasing volumes almost weekly, so it would cost a bit to catch up. Since dropping this series, I have read a few random later chapters online, and it looks like the plot and character growth had progressed quite a bit, and it did not seem to look like what I thought it would be.
Can't Stop Cursing You (1 volume)
Seemed like a rehash of Death Note with little to distinguish it, and I didn't see a reason to go beyond the first volume.
Holy Corpse Rising (3 volumes)
The first 3 books seemed almost exactly the same with just a different random girl. I have nothing against fan service, but this one seemed to forgo plot to include it. It seemed like it was 20-30% plot and 70-80% fan service. Most of the time seemed to be spent introducing the new girl each volume. It's quite possible I didn't give time to fully get up to speed, but it looked like this pattern was going to repeat for a while.
Machimaho: I Messed Up and Made the Wrong Person Into a Magical Girl! (2 volumes)
I picked this up at the same time as Murcielago, and it seemed to me that both series were going for shock value more than anything else. The impression I got was that I was supposed to be going "I can't believe they did that" rather than "Good story". Since I received the impression from both series, it may be that I was just in a funky mood at the time and didn't really give them a chance. I had also just completed Magical Girl Spec Ops: Asuka which is one of my all-time favorites. Magical girl with PTSD, thumbs up. Magical girl with healing magic but completely lacks empathy and seems to like to use it for torture, check. But those were personality traits that enhanced the story, not the whole base of the story.
Murcielago (4 volumes)
My impression was that it has more going for it than Machimaho, but it still seemed to be going for shock value over content.
Trinity Seven (9 volumes)
This was one of the first series I picked up. I stopped it because it just became really stupid. I actually only made it through 7 of the 9 volumes I own. The sophomoric humor and fan service didn't really bother me, nor the fact I thought the fights were poorly written and very short for the build up. I even made it through, there is only 1 demon lord, then "Oh, but she's a demon lord also" that came out of the blue, and the bad guys mop the floor with the heroes which they want to kill but then just leave, which is fairly standard in this type. But when they went to the floating library, where no one knew they were going, and had to fight their way through overly complicated deadly traps, just to find out the girl's father was there because he was worried she might be in trouble and is the one that laid all the traps. "I'm worried about my daughter, so I'm going to go somewhere they may or may not be headed and lay deadly traps everywhere because I'm worried she might get hurt." That was it for me, put it on the shelf and never even unwrapped the next volume.
Wotakoi: Love Is Hard for Otaku (3 volumes)
It was the short skit format that I didn't like. Everything else I had read up until then was full stories with sweeping arcs, so episodic skits that only lasted for a few pages just threw me and I couldn't get into it. I later read Tomo-chan Is a Girl and loved that one, and it's mostly written like a Peanuts cartoon book where every page is basically stand-alone. I'm thinking my tastes may have changed enough now to properly enjoy it, so I may pick up the next volume.
Yokai Girls (7 volumes)
Another series that exists for fan service more than anything else. I dropped it because it didn't really seem to be going anywhere. At the same time this is the one series I have thought the most about completing as it would be easy to pick up the last 7 books, but this is more about me being a completionist than actually enjoying the series, so I've held off so far.
Blood on the Tracks (2 volumes)
I question if I gave this series a fair chance also. At the time, I just found it very slow, which I understand is how it's supposed to be. It's a slow existential dread that's supposed to be conveyed and build as it goes on. It just didn't fit my mood at the time. The Flowers of Evil was similar, and I did enjoy that one, so maybe I should revisit this.
submitted by MinorGlitch to MangaCollectors [link] [comments]
Komi Can't Communicate (3 volumes)
This is the one that I wonder the most if I dropped too early. I actually enjoyed the first 3 volumes. I'll be honest, it was the anime that ruined it for me. And I liked the anime, mostly (still haven't finished season 2). It gave me the impression that it was going to be a rinse and repeat type of series. Feel awkward, meet new person, misunderstandings ensue, they start to understand, repeat until you make 100 friends. That and the fact that they seemed to be releasing volumes almost weekly, so it would cost a bit to catch up. Since dropping this series, I have read a few random later chapters online, and it looks like the plot and character growth had progressed quite a bit, and it did not seem to look like what I thought it would be.
Can't Stop Cursing You (1 volume)
Seemed like a rehash of Death Note with little to distinguish it, and I didn't see a reason to go beyond the first volume.
Holy Corpse Rising (3 volumes)
The first 3 books seemed almost exactly the same with just a different random girl. I have nothing against fan service, but this one seemed to forgo plot to include it. It seemed like it was 20-30% plot and 70-80% fan service. Most of the time seemed to be spent introducing the new girl each volume. It's quite possible I didn't give time to fully get up to speed, but it looked like this pattern was going to repeat for a while.
Machimaho: I Messed Up and Made the Wrong Person Into a Magical Girl! (2 volumes)
I picked this up at the same time as Murcielago, and it seemed to me that both series were going for shock value more than anything else. The impression I got was that I was supposed to be going "I can't believe they did that" rather than "Good story". Since I received the impression from both series, it may be that I was just in a funky mood at the time and didn't really give them a chance. I had also just completed Magical Girl Spec Ops: Asuka which is one of my all-time favorites. Magical girl with PTSD, thumbs up. Magical girl with healing magic but completely lacks empathy and seems to like to use it for torture, check. But those were personality traits that enhanced the story, not the whole base of the story.
Murcielago (4 volumes)
My impression was that it has more going for it than Machimaho, but it still seemed to be going for shock value over content.
Trinity Seven (9 volumes)
This was one of the first series I picked up. I stopped it because it just became really stupid. I actually only made it through 7 of the 9 volumes I own. The sophomoric humor and fan service didn't really bother me, nor the fact I thought the fights were poorly written and very short for the build up. I even made it through, there is only 1 demon lord, then "Oh, but she's a demon lord also" that came out of the blue, and the bad guys mop the floor with the heroes which they want to kill but then just leave, which is fairly standard in this type. But when they went to the floating library, where no one knew they were going, and had to fight their way through overly complicated deadly traps, just to find out the girl's father was there because he was worried she might be in trouble and is the one that laid all the traps. "I'm worried about my daughter, so I'm going to go somewhere they may or may not be headed and lay deadly traps everywhere because I'm worried she might get hurt." That was it for me, put it on the shelf and never even unwrapped the next volume.
Wotakoi: Love Is Hard for Otaku (3 volumes)
It was the short skit format that I didn't like. Everything else I had read up until then was full stories with sweeping arcs, so episodic skits that only lasted for a few pages just threw me and I couldn't get into it. I later read Tomo-chan Is a Girl and loved that one, and it's mostly written like a Peanuts cartoon book where every page is basically stand-alone. I'm thinking my tastes may have changed enough now to properly enjoy it, so I may pick up the next volume.
Yokai Girls (7 volumes)
Another series that exists for fan service more than anything else. I dropped it because it didn't really seem to be going anywhere. At the same time this is the one series I have thought the most about completing as it would be easy to pick up the last 7 books, but this is more about me being a completionist than actually enjoying the series, so I've held off so far.
Blood on the Tracks (2 volumes)
I question if I gave this series a fair chance also. At the time, I just found it very slow, which I understand is how it's supposed to be. It's a slow existential dread that's supposed to be conveyed and build as it goes on. It just didn't fit my mood at the time. The Flowers of Evil was similar, and I did enjoy that one, so maybe I should revisit this.
2023.03.28 18:05 asbsdjrindledc een pussy videos mr fix it big black lesbian orgy crack vs cocaine indian anal sex video bed full size aspergers celebs reddit what is a torrent paige sextapes microsoft dynamics hot naked babes videos obs download hidden cam couple i94 online cock in pussy videos blue book car value uncen
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2023.03.28 17:13 subreddit_stats Subreddit Stats: CarsIndia top posts from 2020-11-30 to 2023-03-28 09:22 PDT
Period: 848.28 days
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| Submissions | Comments | |
|---|---|---|
| Total | 1000 | 56572 |
| Rate (per day) | 1.18 | 66.67 |
| Unique Redditors | 634 | 7444 |
| Combined Score | 167266 | 421331 |
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- New Xuv700 2Bhk (160 points, 25 comments)
- Service done at 20000km. Service charges were around 3500, pretty cheap. No issues till now. AMA(about the car). (158 points, 80 comments)
- 5star hai magr kharcha bohot hai (131 points, 21 comments)
- It doesn't even look good in dark colors. Verna N line. Although back looks decent. Overall looks chomu (130 points, 69 comments)
- This is how legends park (127 points, 22 comments)
- Completed 10000km and the service cost was just 2800rs and that too for a diesel. No issues yet. (121 points, 44 comments)
- 2249 points, 5 submissions: adrock_99
- Lovely analysis on why EV’s are not the future for India by Faisal khan (1430 points, 229 comments)
- End of Sedans Is Imminent. It was fun while it lasted.. (305 points, 185 comments)
- Tata Hexa carrying Mahindra Thar (toy), one of the cutest things I’ve seen on our roads (267 points, 41 comments)
- Got the delivery of our third Japanese car today. A Toyota Fortuner 4x4. It was just a Dream of my family to have a big car and we finally did it. (163 points, 95 comments)
- 2009 Honda City i-Vtec. My 13 year old baby. She brings a smile every time I turn the key. Still red lines like a beast! (84 points, 48 comments)
- 2136 points, 17 submissions: rowthauto
- Hyundai Ioniq 5 EV launched at Rs. 44.95 lakh. The Ioniq 5 is available with a 72.6 kWh battery pack that has an ARAI-certified range of 631 km. (198 points, 80 comments)
- Toyota Innova Hycross makes India debut; Deliveries in January (186 points, 60 comments)
- Maruti Suzuki has commenced bookings for the Fronx and it is likely to be launched in the coming months. (161 points, 83 comments)
- Hyundai Verna 2023 to come with ADAS Level 2 and over 65 safety features. (151 points, 35 comments)
- All New Cars Will Have 6 Airbags From 1st October 2022. (148 points, 45 comments)
- 2023 Honda Jazz Facelift Debuts – New Sporty Variant, 10 Airbags Standard. (147 points, 46 comments)
- With its turbo-eye and sporty design, the Mahindra XUV300 Turbosport concept is very appealing! (137 points, 31 comments)
- The Tata Nexon concept is slammed out (129 points, 43 comments)
- Mahindra Scorpio-N price hiked by up-to Rs 1.35 lac. Scorpio-N debuted in India in June 2022 with an entry-level variant priced at Rs 11.99 lakh (ex-showroom). (113 points, 30 comments)
- Maruti Baleno Cross might look like this in production. Presented at the 2023 Auto Expo (109 points, 91 comments)
- 1575 points, 10 submissions: NeedleworkerLegal573
- Just hit the holy number in my Honda City (368 points, 35 comments)
- To all the automakers of India (365 points, 43 comments)
- Relatable (175 points, 8 comments)
- What an understanding (112 points, 36 comments)
- A rare sight- atleast in Chennai. Is it common where you live? (104 points, 36 comments)
- What this sub needs (104 points, 19 comments)
- All in one spares shop for guys like me who is okay with cheapeused spares. DM me for queries, will try to arrange and ship it for you. (95 points, 20 comments)
- Oooh, didn’t expect the display to be this butter smooth. PS - I wasn’t driving while recording (92 points, 38 comments)
- How much are we paying as taxes for 100rs of petrol. (83 points, 57 comments)
- An interesting feature of GM. (77 points, 26 comments)
- 1492 points, 11 submissions: Adwai1h
- Hmmmmmm (327 points, 59 comments)
- Unfortunately Common Sight Isn't It? (172 points, 56 comments)
- No one's got time in Bombay 🤷🏽♂️ (165 points, 12 comments)
- One of My Favourite Modern Porsche (162 points, 35 comments)
- Miami Blue? I kinda like it tbh - Spotted in a Bangalore Mall Parking Lot. (108 points, 24 comments)
- Came across this a few years back on the way to Pawna Lake MH, Looks like a Forza Meet-up. (104 points, 11 comments)
- An old meme I found on my phone ~ saved from Instagram (102 points, 17 comments)
- This wheel is round, Thoughts? - This is what most of the posts on this sub look like (97 points, 29 comments)
- Mercedes Unimog on world tour - Bumped into someone cool in Bombay last year. (92 points, 5 comments)
- A Peek Into The Past - VW Bugs (84 points, 9 comments)
- 1449 points, 12 submissions: vijay001xd
- Real reason why sedans are dying (180 points, 44 comments)
- Pricing nearly a lakh more than Its benchmark rival city. That too with tiny 1L engine and inferior quality interiors. Has Skoda gone mad? (158 points, 69 comments)
- Imagine having powerful engine but could not drive as you wish 🥲 (153 points, 40 comments)
- Gotta miss the TDI tho :/ (141 points, 18 comments)
- People advised me to avoid buying used BMW or any German car. I was like fuck it and gone for it. It’s been 2 months since i bought 320d. I’m absolutely in love with this machine ❤️❤️ (134 points, 45 comments)
- Citroen c3 micro display will be a huge turnoff for people who want to buy this car. Heck, even two wheeler odometer is much better than this. Who the heck approved this shit? (130 points, 46 comments)
- Tractor engine kicked in yooooo (112 points, 34 comments)
- With Ottoman seats and ADAS, it would make no sense to spend more money on fortuner. Considering Innova hycross might be priced around 30-40L OTR. Toyota is gonna cannibalise themselves hightime (106 points, 83 comments)
- Wait, that’s illegal (93 points, 10 comments)
- Hey look! Another Facelifted and Repainted car with decade old design -_- (85 points, 9 comments)
- 1406 points, 6 submissions: vineetbateman69
- Hurts🥲 (somewhere in dombivli) (347 points, 57 comments)
- Toyota Prius spotted in Delhi. (315 points, 86 comments)
- i rarely find these BYD EVs. what are your honest thoughts about it? (253 points, 136 comments)
- So i asked my nearest Nexa showroom the onroad for this Ignis Zeta Amt and they stated that it will be at 8.85L excluding accessories. Man these basic cars getting expensive now! (224 points, 77 comments)
- bruh😂 (143 points, 34 comments)
- For practical purpose, and an easy driving…shall i consider buying this!? (for our daily market shopping and for my mother for her daily updown at workplace) As we are planning to buy a Good 10L+ rs car after 2-3 years, so the budget is very restricted at 7 lakh ( Need only in Amt) (124 points, 124 comments)
- 1359 points, 12 submissions: JammuAurkashmir
- what potholes ? (160 points, 25 comments)
- Average Indian Biker. (132 points, 21 comments)
- This is a second one in a row. (128 points, 33 comments)
- Nothing to see. Nothing for thee.. (122 points, 68 comments)
- Maruti Suzuki S-presso, caught fire minutes away from the Kannur District Hospital. (121 points, 65 comments)
- [Repost] 2023 Honda CRV (114 points, 33 comments)
- International disease of bright headlamps! (111 points, 11 comments)
- YouShouldKnow: If you can not see the mirrors of the vehicle ahead of you, Driver of that vehicle can not see you. (100 points, 25 comments)
- Is there any Indian YouTube channel which reviews the cars critically instead of just showering praises or reading the brochures/press-release ? (98 points, 94 comments)
- Maruti Suzuki recalls vehicles over airbag issues. (96 points, 43 comments)
- 1167 points, 5 submissions: badass708
- Unreal... (459 points, 96 comments)
- All are valid arguments but... (407 points, 216 comments)
- MS anomaly that wasn't a tin can - guess the black car. (115 points, 43 comments)
- Got my EV today! (106 points, 29 comments)
- 0-100 in 7.6 seconds ⚡ (80 points, 46 comments)
- 1146 points, 5 submissions: srameshr
- Got my first car yesterday. A 330i M Sport. (362 points, 86 comments)
- New year spin (307 points, 73 comments)
- The ex-showroom price of two similarly spec'd cars in India and USA - We pay 2x for the same car (226 points, 156 comments)
- Dropped my car off at the washer and they sent me this video! (163 points, 41 comments)
- No more 20% state road tax! Citizens won the legal fight against corrupt IAS/KAS officers (the government) to get BH registration for cars in Karnataka (88 points, 19 comments)
- 1134 points, 4 submissions: Noob_mobileCamera
- That's how we use our expressways. (452 points, 141 comments)
- Heard this sub wants a DP change. how's this option? (377 points, 34 comments)
- So expressway has got 4 lanes.. Overtaking, 120, 100 and 80. (203 points, 44 comments)
- scary lights!!. (102 points, 8 comments)
- 1092 points, 6 submissions: SingaporeSinglika
- Seeing a lot of BYD cars on the road these days! (287 points, 100 comments)
- Thought tinted windows are illegal ¯_(ツ)_/¯ (248 points, 111 comments)
- Not everyday you see an e-TRON GT! (177 points, 23 comments)
- Spotted this beautiful Safari Storme 4x4 GS800 in Bangalore today. (176 points, 67 comments)
- Spotted this G in Bangalore today! (119 points, 22 comments)
- Are these super rare in Bangalore? (85 points, 29 comments)
- 1054 points, 5 submissions: Intruder_7
- This is just so wrong. Didi could just walk on a random street and nobody would give a f but to showoff she wants an "escort" with a siren. And not to mention the little escort has hazard lights on. Man this entitlement and dumbness is crazy (374 points, 152 comments)
- POV: You purchased a car after suggestions from CarsIndia (355 points, 42 comments)
- Tata Motors showcased more EVs today - Sierra EV and Harrier EV ; ICE version of the Curvv has also been shown - WARNING: Faisal Khan (128 points, 35 comments)
- Mini cooper owners be wildin (100 points, 18 comments)
- Popular YouTubers upload videos of driving their car in the city at 200 kmph and much worse activities and also influence the audience, hopefully the cops take such cases seriously too (97 points, 27 comments)
- 986 points, 5 submissions: Aryan_Singh_17
- Suzuki new marketting stratefy (316 points, 104 comments)
- mil gayi (195 points, 16 comments)
- ache din (187 points, 45 comments)
- women can't afFORD (184 points, 22 comments)
- riyal (104 points, 24 comments)
- 984 points, 3 submissions: FriendshipOk6055
- 😩 (613 points, 83 comments)
- Drawing of my car i made when i was 9-10 y.o (don't roast🥲) (212 points, 62 comments)
- literal carporn (159 points, 28 comments)
- 937 points, 4 submissions: GetTheGanjaBabyInLA
- Hyundai claims that new Verna 1.5 turbo gdi does 0-100 kmph in 8.1 seconds (367 points, 105 comments)
- Tata Punch Owner Transports 700 Kg Load, Gets 18 Kmpl (262 points, 73 comments)
- New Verna facelift. Look how they massacred my boy! (190 points, 58 comments)
- Another one down. Sad sad time for sedan fans (118 points, 44 comments)
- 926 points, 7 submissions: priths3
- I think it looks gorgeous! (205 points, 52 comments)
- Interesting little car. (166 points, 90 comments)
- Damn! This is actually a VFM price. Thoughts? (153 points, 68 comments)
- Insane Value For Money! (111 points, 17 comments)
- There's this trend of downvoting comments whenever someone recommends a Maruti. (108 points, 93 comments)
- We discus a lot about safety ratings of Indian cars in this sub but we don't often discuss the poor driving habits of Indian drivers which is an equally important issue if not more to address. (96 points, 34 comments)
- Dear MG, (87 points, 53 comments)
- 885 points, 2 submissions: term1throwaway
- 873 points, 6 submissions: l3g3ndsnvrdi3
- Crossed a river for the first time in my Thar (231 points, 35 comments)
- Brought home this beauty yesterday, Skoda Superb TDI L&K (182 points, 39 comments)
- Two new cars this year, My Thar and Dad's Tiguan AllSpace :) (158 points, 35 comments)
- Shades Of Blue (130 points, 35 comments)
- Efficiency of the BMW M340i on the highway gunning it. (91 points, 72 comments)
- Ooty in my 2021 Thar. (81 points, 11 comments)
- 863 points, 5 submissions: SUNNYHFR
- CRETA rash driving (432 points, 159 comments)
- Speed doesn't matter if you are gonna brake soon. (147 points, 9 comments)
- Take that Tata Motors!.. (115 points, 15 comments)
- Tiago EV vs Swift, Baleno, i20, & Brezza.(Features list comparision by TATA Motors). (86 points, 67 comments)
- Crumpled. (83 points, 11 comments)
- 838 points, 3 submissions: faltugiribuster
- Got my VW Virtus GT delivered today (646 points, 120 comments)
- Pop-up headlights (100 points, 13 comments)
- An old Toyota commercial (92 points, 7 comments)
- 838 points, 2 submissions: zvckp
- 819 points, 3 submissions: StreetEven5491
- the new one looks a bit diff from my previous post but still there is only a minor difference (342 points, 97 comments)
- Mahindra’s response to arun panwar (292 points, 56 comments)
- Thoughts on new verna ? (185 points, 157 comments)
- 768 points, 3 submissions: antsaregay
- Our new Honda Amaze VX CVT. Family upgraded from Alto 800. 🤝 (335 points, 61 comments)
- Kushaq base variant. See how the price goes from 8 to 15 lakh (AP) (292 points, 204 comments)
- Drop your guesses (141 points, 93 comments)
- 755 points, 2 submissions: nottoohotwheels
- Not something you see everyday (477 points, 77 comments)
- I’m filthy rich, stay away from me peasants! (278 points, 95 comments)
- 752 points, 6 submissions: Royal-Winner-7276
- vroom vroom gud (206 points, 81 comments)
- Cries in 50 lakhs on road price (153 points, 29 comments)
- ROAD IS ROAD (129 points, 6 comments)
- Got RC renewed for the Maruti 800. 20 years old car now. (97 points, 43 comments)
- Scorpio=❌ ISCARPIO=✅ (85 points, 33 comments)
- This modded Octavia produces 576 bhp, does 0-100 in 3.8 seconds, does the quarter mile in 11 seconds and on top of that it's all wheel drive. (82 points, 22 comments)
- 744 points, 1 submission: Interesting-Honey829
- 728 points, 2 submissions: nissimbhalwankar
- Why buy an overpriced fortuner when you can buy a gorgeous camry for the same price? This colour suits it really well. (590 points, 103 comments)
- Can we change the Sub's banner (138 points, 36 comments)
- 724 points, 4 submissions: Able_Tailor_6983
- What's up with Mahindra and waiting periods? Don't they calculate inventory before announcing a new car version? Or did the demand exceed expectations? (300 points, 88 comments)
- Scorpio-N tyre hits divider & gets completely dislodged from the SUV [Team-BHP] (205 points, 54 comments)
- Maruti chairman RC Bhargava says automobile industry cannot grow with 50% tax rate; All taxation need to be rationalised The Financial Express (119 points, 24 comments)
- Can someone help identify this car? (100 points, 89 comments)
- 722 points, 4 submissions: agarwalkunal12
- Maruti Suzuki Fronx - 1.2L and 1.0L turbo SUV with 3995cm length, 308 L boot,100 PS max power and 142 Nm max Torque. Safety: 6 airbags and HUD (242 points, 196 comments)
- Found this parked in the hills somewhere in Uttarakhand. (179 points, 23 comments)
- Thanks to the kind people on this sub who made my decision easier on every front. My first car and I couldn't have done this without the advise and nitpickings people made me aware of. (166 points, 57 comments)
- This is like Tata bragging about After Sales Service (135 points, 36 comments)
- 713 points, 4 submissions: Salt_Row1766
- Do minis really work in india ? (231 points, 102 comments)
- This beauty looks soo good with black alloys (222 points, 58 comments)
- Man trying to catch up a 410hp M2💀 (170 points, 36 comments)
- the all new pagani codalunga, only 5 are built the engine specs are a 6.0litre twin turbo which churns out 840 hp and 1,110nm it also costs a bomb whooping 62cr (90 points, 63 comments)
- 697 points, 5 submissions: Reddit_Survivor9
- Idk about the opinions on this car, but I love it. I think it's a perfect car for nipping off to nearby places and also something I'd give my wife if I get married in the future. What are your opinions? (201 points, 151 comments)
- Between the Verna and City facelifts, which one are you likely to consider buying? (172 points, 115 comments)
- All the cars belonging to Visakhapatnam MP MVV Satyanarayana and his son. (140 points, 61 comments)
- So these four plus the bonus in the middle are the ones I have decided on after the advice from this sub (thanks for that). Now I need the final opinion on these five(contd in comments) (94 points, 78 comments)
- Hyundai Verna test mule in SK has crashed into a bus, cabin intact. (90 points, 12 comments)
- 692 points, 5 submissions: _TheNeonDemon_
- Hyundai Venue N-Line provides built in dash cam with multiple features (159 points, 28 comments)
- Yeah, sure! (156 points, 27 comments)
- One local politician who lives in my neighbourhood always travels in his fortuner while his bodyguards/ team travels in Innova & Ertiga. Either he's super selfless & caring of his team or just plain oblivious about ride comfort. (153 points, 18 comments)
- Imagine alto with 6 airbags (136 points, 54 comments)
- Spotted this left hand drive VW in Pune yesterday. (88 points, 13 comments)
- 689 points, 1 submission: TheBestBondha
- 677 points, 3 submissions: nallasudheer
- NCAP assumes all regulators world over really don’t know their business says Maruti Suzuki (280 points, 110 comments)
- Volkswagen Taigun And Skoda Kushaq Score 5* In Latest Global NCAP Crash Tests (254 points, 148 comments)
- 2022 Maruti Suzuki Swift scores 1 star at Global NCAP crash tests (143 points, 131 comments)
- 655 points, 3 submissions: ydv98
- 644 points, 5 submissions: smcSTABBINGO
- A little retirement gift for my hero ♥️🎁 The First AX7L AWD Of My Town (318 points, 69 comments)
- I'm just gonna leave this here 😂 (84 points, 46 comments)
- Recently spotted Hyuntley i20 Continental GT (Ps - Don't you dare make it flash that light if you value your eyesight) ✌️😤 (84 points, 17 comments)
- Completed 15k in 7 months with this beauty. AX7L AWD. AMA :) (82 points, 52 comments)
- Auto rickshaw with Sequential turn indicators 🫠 Meanwhile, I'm still waiting to get mine for XUV 700 🫣 (76 points, 11 comments)
- 644 points, 1 submission: independent_hippo01
- Slaying two wheelers on Dusshera (644 points, 132 comments)
Top Commenters
- _7567Rex (5346 points, 424 comments)
- Previous-Spring-6476 (3137 points, 353 comments)
- According_Lifeguard9 (2789 points, 172 comments)
- okayhumaunder (2530 points, 377 comments)
- TheManFromUnkill (2358 points, 149 comments)
- NeedleworkerLegal573 (2314 points, 231 comments)
- mxforest (2073 points, 131 comments)
- Patient-Grocery8871 (1808 points, 257 comments)
- kshb4xred (1741 points, 226 comments)
- neighbour_guy3k (1736 points, 143 comments)
- Cock_Inspector_2021 (1732 points, 78 comments)
- iwjxusuebsjzkzms (1595 points, 47 comments)
- UrNemisis (1539 points, 172 comments)
- AlternativeClothes43 (1537 points, 64 comments)
- gantaigarashi (1495 points, 67 comments)
- UrbanCruiserHyryder (1420 points, 139 comments)
- term1throwaway (1411 points, 65 comments)
- GetTheGanjaBabyInLA (1406 points, 157 comments)
- KachraBhiKhelat (1370 points, 99 comments)
- Why_when_where (1368 points, 23 comments)
- More-Masterpiece-561 (1356 points, 132 comments)
- Regalia_BanshEe (1344 points, 238 comments)
- Intruder_7 (1328 points, 116 comments)
- Airavat2305 (1302 points, 86 comments)
- prodey_ (1288 points, 133 comments)
- 1selfharm (1278 points, 92 comments)
- AyaaaanSingh (1259 points, 125 comments)
- IndPolCom (1242 points, 86 comments)
- Curious_742 (1238 points, 66 comments)
- Thepotatohitme (1174 points, 90 comments)
- 4k3R (1167 points, 121 comments)
- abbadabbajabba1 (1153 points, 86 comments)
- Escudo777 (1151 points, 183 comments)
- JammuAurkashmir (1125 points, 129 comments)
- tb9551 (1097 points, 56 comments)
- trust-me-br0 (1055 points, 196 comments)
- ScooterNinja (1055 points, 83 comments)
- chd01 (1031 points, 108 comments)
- sc1onic (1014 points, 64 comments)
- Distinct-Drama7372 (1014 points, 31 comments)
- insane36969 (999 points, 75 comments)
- Ballisticarrow (992 points, 62 comments)
- lifeversace (981 points, 75 comments)
- Old_Membership1326 (977 points, 100 comments)
- Careless_Feeling8057 (969 points, 54 comments)
- Ok_Sell_4059 (964 points, 112 comments)
- ObjectiveSquirrel820 (964 points, 65 comments)
- Royal-Winner-7276 (953 points, 120 comments)
- TurboWraith (930 points, 25 comments)
- brabarusmark (929 points, 144 comments)
Top Submissions
- Got a new navigation system for my car by Old_Membership1326 (1433 points, 92 comments)
- Lovely analysis on why EV’s are not the future for India by Faisal khan by adrock_99 (1430 points, 229 comments)
- Whoever says you can’t use sunroof in India, lacks imagination. by Interesting-Honey829 (744 points, 50 comments)
- An oversimplified guide to the Indian Car Scene by term1throwaway (706 points, 146 comments)
- Throwback to when my friend crashed his car 10 minutes after taking the delivery. by TheBestBondha (689 points, 110 comments)
- Got my VW Virtus GT delivered today by faltugiribuster (646 points, 120 comments)
- Slaying two wheelers on Dusshera by independent_hippo01 (644 points, 132 comments)
- 😩 by FriendshipOk6055 (613 points, 83 comments)
- I know this sub is not a fan of the Harrier, but this car has been my dream car since its launch. Got it delivered day before yesterday, and it's a dream to drive. ADAS is wonderful. by Loneagl090 (595 points, 184 comments)
- Why buy an overpriced fortuner when you can buy a gorgeous camry for the same price? This colour suits it really well. by nissimbhalwankar (590 points, 103 comments)
Top Comments
- 449 points: According_Lifeguard9's comment in What is the technical reason for having such a wide gap between the left and right lanes?
- 382 points: threadnoodle's comment in ACCIDENT BETWEEN HYUNDAI I20 VS MARUTI SUZUKI GRAND VITARA
- 372 points: TurboWraith's comment in Our Family’s First SUV. What all accessories should i go for ?
- 372 points: zvckp's comment in CRETA rash driving
- 358 points: neighbour_guy3k's comment in Hyundai Venue accident
- 349 points: AlternativeClothes43's comment in Which car has the cleanest image and is considered to be the least rashly driven on our roads?
- 342 points: Why_when_where's comment in what's this car?
- 336 points: almighty_dev's comment in Bichare ka permanent number tak nahi aaya tha! 🥲
- 335 points: KebabB0i's comment in 😩
- 329 points: M_Batman's comment in Wagon R
Generated with BBoe's Subreddit Stats
2023.03.28 16:56 subreddit_stats Subreddit Stats: CarsIndia top posts from 2020-11-30 to 2023-03-28 09:22 PDT
Period: 848.28 days
submitted by subreddit_stats to subreddit_stats [link] [comments]
| Submissions | Comments | |
|---|---|---|
| Total | 1000 | 56569 |
| Rate (per day) | 1.18 | 66.67 |
| Unique Redditors | 634 | 7444 |
| Combined Score | 167328 | 421455 |
Top Submitters' Top Submissions
- 5874 points, 23 submissions: anonymousbroda52
- Rajasthan Petrol pump Accident (419 points, 127 comments)
- Toyota Car Sales In india Feb 2023 (413 points, 133 comments)
- ACCIDENT BETWEEN FORD ENDEAVOUR VS TATA NEXON AT INTERSECTION (405 points, 105 comments)
- TOP 10 SEDAN SALES FOR FEBRUARY 2023 (401 points, 125 comments)
- Fined 1.40 Lakh bill for wrecking during the test drive (364 points, 58 comments)
- Another Adas Misuse Incident !! (328 points, 143 comments)
- INDIAN'S AMONG WORLD'S WORST DRIVERS (327 points, 147 comments)
- Next Level Scam... (316 points, 32 comments)
- CAR COMPANIES SOLD UNITS IN INDIA FOR FEBRUARY 2023 (293 points, 100 comments)
- TOP 10 SELLING CARS IN INDIA IN FEBRUARY 2023 (274 points, 99 comments)
- 3381 points, 13 submissions: Old_Membership1326
- Got a new navigation system for my car (1426 points, 92 comments)
- Being behind these kind of trucks scare the shit out of me (510 points, 76 comments)
- Not even 10k kms completed and already Mahindra showing it’s reliability (239 points, 85 comments)
- I’m part of this Virtus WhatsApp group and all they do over there is rant about how Maruti cars are so unsafe while clicking such photos (198 points, 110 comments)
- Yesterday I was going to work in my XUV 700 and all of a sudden I hear a huge “beep” sound and my speedometer and infotainment system began to continuously reboot while my speakers stop working. And my car has just been serviced and it’s still showing service due. Mahindra never disappoints (171 points, 50 comments)
- Lexus Etios (154 points, 22 comments)
- The only thing I find cute apart from girls (141 points, 30 comments)
- Toota hua Ciaz hu mai... (103 points, 32 comments)
- Why doesn’t Maruti sell Jimny in India even though they manufacture it over here ? (97 points, 33 comments)
- The way Hyundai and Suzuki are marketing their cars to be safe just shows the impact of Tata in the Indian car market. Tata’s increase in sales by making safer cars hasn’t gone unnoticed. (93 points, 48 comments)
- 2407 points, 17 submissions: UrNemisis
- What in the bawaseer has Hyundai turned Verna into!!!. Pics from a dealer (308 points, 191 comments)
- Nexon Ev battery pack (224 points, 64 comments)
- Justice for dummies (217 points, 21 comments)
- Brother Of Arun Panwar Beaten By Hyundai Dealership. Wtf (168 points, 60 comments)
- New Xuv700 2Bhk (158 points, 25 comments)
- Service done at 20000km. Service charges were around 3500, pretty cheap. No issues till now. AMA(about the car). (156 points, 80 comments)
- It doesn't even look good in dark colors. Verna N line. Although back looks decent. Overall looks chomu (135 points, 69 comments)
- 5star hai magr kharcha bohot hai (130 points, 21 comments)
- This is how legends park (129 points, 22 comments)
- Completed 10000km and the service cost was just 2800rs and that too for a diesel. No issues yet. (119 points, 44 comments)
- 2235 points, 5 submissions: adrock_99
- Lovely analysis on why EV’s are not the future for India by Faisal khan (1408 points, 229 comments)
- End of Sedans Is Imminent. It was fun while it lasted.. (306 points, 185 comments)
- Tata Hexa carrying Mahindra Thar (toy), one of the cutest things I’ve seen on our roads (275 points, 41 comments)
- Got the delivery of our third Japanese car today. A Toyota Fortuner 4x4. It was just a Dream of my family to have a big car and we finally did it. (162 points, 95 comments)
- 2009 Honda City i-Vtec. My 13 year old baby. She brings a smile every time I turn the key. Still red lines like a beast! (84 points, 48 comments)
- 2146 points, 17 submissions: rowthauto
- Hyundai Ioniq 5 EV launched at Rs. 44.95 lakh. The Ioniq 5 is available with a 72.6 kWh battery pack that has an ARAI-certified range of 631 km. (201 points, 80 comments)
- Toyota Innova Hycross makes India debut; Deliveries in January (188 points, 60 comments)
- Maruti Suzuki has commenced bookings for the Fronx and it is likely to be launched in the coming months. (161 points, 83 comments)
- 2023 Honda Jazz Facelift Debuts – New Sporty Variant, 10 Airbags Standard. (150 points, 46 comments)
- All New Cars Will Have 6 Airbags From 1st October 2022. (148 points, 45 comments)
- Hyundai Verna 2023 to come with ADAS Level 2 and over 65 safety features. (146 points, 35 comments)
- With its turbo-eye and sporty design, the Mahindra XUV300 Turbosport concept is very appealing! (136 points, 31 comments)
- The Tata Nexon concept is slammed out (129 points, 43 comments)
- Mahindra Scorpio-N price hiked by up-to Rs 1.35 lac. Scorpio-N debuted in India in June 2022 with an entry-level variant priced at Rs 11.99 lakh (ex-showroom). (114 points, 30 comments)
- Maruti Baleno Cross might look like this in production. Presented at the 2023 Auto Expo (111 points, 91 comments)
- 1566 points, 10 submissions: NeedleworkerLegal573
- Just hit the holy number in my Honda City (365 points, 35 comments)
- To all the automakers of India (359 points, 43 comments)
- Relatable (171 points, 8 comments)
- What an understanding (110 points, 36 comments)
- A rare sight- atleast in Chennai. Is it common where you live? (104 points, 36 comments)
- What this sub needs (103 points, 19 comments)
- All in one spares shop for guys like me who is okay with cheapeused spares. DM me for queries, will try to arrange and ship it for you. (95 points, 20 comments)
- Oooh, didn’t expect the display to be this butter smooth. PS - I wasn’t driving while recording (91 points, 38 comments)
- How much are we paying as taxes for 100rs of petrol. (87 points, 57 comments)
- An interesting feature of GM. (81 points, 26 comments)
- 1490 points, 11 submissions: Adwai1h
- Hmmmmmm (332 points, 59 comments)
- Unfortunately Common Sight Isn't It? (170 points, 56 comments)
- No one's got time in Bombay 🤷🏽♂️ (167 points, 12 comments)
- One of My Favourite Modern Porsche (159 points, 35 comments)
- Came across this a few years back on the way to Pawna Lake MH, Looks like a Forza Meet-up. (105 points, 11 comments)
- Miami Blue? I kinda like it tbh - Spotted in a Bangalore Mall Parking Lot. (104 points, 24 comments)
- An old meme I found on my phone ~ saved from Instagram (101 points, 17 comments)
- This wheel is round, Thoughts? - This is what most of the posts on this sub look like (97 points, 29 comments)
- Mercedes Unimog on world tour - Bumped into someone cool in Bombay last year. (92 points, 5 comments)
- A Peek Into The Past - VW Bugs (86 points, 9 comments)
- 1456 points, 12 submissions: vijay001xd
- Real reason why sedans are dying (182 points, 44 comments)
- Pricing nearly a lakh more than Its benchmark rival city. That too with tiny 1L engine and inferior quality interiors. Has Skoda gone mad? (156 points, 69 comments)
- Imagine having powerful engine but could not drive as you wish 🥲 (150 points, 40 comments)
- Gotta miss the TDI tho :/ (142 points, 18 comments)
- People advised me to avoid buying used BMW or any German car. I was like fuck it and gone for it. It’s been 2 months since i bought 320d. I’m absolutely in love with this machine ❤️❤️ (137 points, 45 comments)
- Citroen c3 micro display will be a huge turnoff for people who want to buy this car. Heck, even two wheeler odometer is much better than this. Who the heck approved this shit? (130 points, 46 comments)
- Tractor engine kicked in yooooo (111 points, 34 comments)
- With Ottoman seats and ADAS, it would make no sense to spend more money on fortuner. Considering Innova hycross might be priced around 30-40L OTR. Toyota is gonna cannibalise themselves hightime (104 points, 83 comments)
- Wait, that’s illegal (98 points, 10 comments)
- Hey look! Another Facelifted and Repainted car with decade old design -_- (85 points, 9 comments)
- 1394 points, 6 submissions: vineetbateman69
- Hurts🥲 (somewhere in dombivli) (344 points, 57 comments)
- Toyota Prius spotted in Delhi. (314 points, 86 comments)
- i rarely find these BYD EVs. what are your honest thoughts about it? (253 points, 136 comments)
- So i asked my nearest Nexa showroom the onroad for this Ignis Zeta Amt and they stated that it will be at 8.85L excluding accessories. Man these basic cars getting expensive now! (220 points, 77 comments)
- bruh😂 (141 points, 34 comments)
- For practical purpose, and an easy driving…shall i consider buying this!? (for our daily market shopping and for my mother for her daily updown at workplace) As we are planning to buy a Good 10L+ rs car after 2-3 years, so the budget is very restricted at 7 lakh ( Need only in Amt) (122 points, 124 comments)
- 1364 points, 12 submissions: JammuAurkashmir
- what potholes ? (159 points, 25 comments)
- Average Indian Biker. (134 points, 21 comments)
- Nothing to see. Nothing for thee.. (122 points, 68 comments)
- Maruti Suzuki S-presso, caught fire minutes away from the Kannur District Hospital. (121 points, 65 comments)
- This is a second one in a row. (121 points, 33 comments)
- [Repost] 2023 Honda CRV (115 points, 33 comments)
- International disease of bright headlamps! (113 points, 11 comments)
- YouShouldKnow: If you can not see the mirrors of the vehicle ahead of you, Driver of that vehicle can not see you. (103 points, 25 comments)
- Is there any Indian YouTube channel which reviews the cars critically instead of just showering praises or reading the brochures/press-release ? (100 points, 94 comments)
- Maruti Suzuki recalls vehicles over airbag issues. (97 points, 43 comments)
- 1180 points, 5 submissions: badass708
- Unreal... (463 points, 96 comments)
- All are valid arguments but... (413 points, 216 comments)
- MS anomaly that wasn't a tin can - guess the black car. (114 points, 43 comments)
- Got my EV today! (108 points, 29 comments)
- 0-100 in 7.6 seconds ⚡ (82 points, 46 comments)
- 1148 points, 5 submissions: srameshr
- Got my first car yesterday. A 330i M Sport. (362 points, 86 comments)
- New year spin (306 points, 73 comments)
- The ex-showroom price of two similarly spec'd cars in India and USA - We pay 2x for the same car (229 points, 156 comments)
- Dropped my car off at the washer and they sent me this video! (161 points, 41 comments)
- No more 20% state road tax! Citizens won the legal fight against corrupt IAS/KAS officers (the government) to get BH registration for cars in Karnataka (90 points, 19 comments)
- 1139 points, 4 submissions: Noob_mobileCamera
- That's how we use our expressways. (454 points, 141 comments)
- Heard this sub wants a DP change. how's this option? (380 points, 34 comments)
- So expressway has got 4 lanes.. Overtaking, 120, 100 and 80. (204 points, 44 comments)
- scary lights!!. (101 points, 8 comments)
- 1106 points, 6 submissions: SingaporeSinglika
- Seeing a lot of BYD cars on the road these days! (287 points, 100 comments)
- Thought tinted windows are illegal ¯_(ツ)_/¯ (249 points, 111 comments)
- Spotted this beautiful Safari Storme 4x4 GS800 in Bangalore today. (180 points, 67 comments)
- Not everyday you see an e-TRON GT! (179 points, 23 comments)
- Spotted this G in Bangalore today! (123 points, 22 comments)
- Are these super rare in Bangalore? (88 points, 29 comments)
- 1055 points, 5 submissions: Intruder_7
- This is just so wrong. Didi could just walk on a random street and nobody would give a f but to showoff she wants an "escort" with a siren. And not to mention the little escort has hazard lights on. Man this entitlement and dumbness is crazy (379 points, 152 comments)
- POV: You purchased a car after suggestions from CarsIndia (349 points, 42 comments)
- Tata Motors showcased more EVs today - Sierra EV and Harrier EV ; ICE version of the Curvv has also been shown - WARNING: Faisal Khan (129 points, 35 comments)
- Mini cooper owners be wildin (100 points, 18 comments)
- Popular YouTubers upload videos of driving their car in the city at 200 kmph and much worse activities and also influence the audience, hopefully the cops take such cases seriously too (98 points, 27 comments)
- 990 points, 3 submissions: FriendshipOk6055
- 😩 (613 points, 83 comments)
- Drawing of my car i made when i was 9-10 y.o (don't roast🥲) (214 points, 62 comments)
- literal carporn (163 points, 28 comments)
- 987 points, 5 submissions: Aryan_Singh_17
- Suzuki new marketting stratefy (312 points, 104 comments)
- mil gayi (195 points, 16 comments)
- women can't afFORD (190 points, 22 comments)
- ache din (186 points, 45 comments)
- riyal (104 points, 24 comments)
- 940 points, 4 submissions: GetTheGanjaBabyInLA
- Hyundai claims that new Verna 1.5 turbo gdi does 0-100 kmph in 8.1 seconds (370 points, 105 comments)
- Tata Punch Owner Transports 700 Kg Load, Gets 18 Kmpl (263 points, 73 comments)
- New Verna facelift. Look how they massacred my boy! (188 points, 58 comments)
- Another one down. Sad sad time for sedan fans (119 points, 44 comments)
- 918 points, 7 submissions: priths3
- I think it looks gorgeous! (205 points, 52 comments)
- Interesting little car. (166 points, 90 comments)
- Damn! This is actually a VFM price. Thoughts? (151 points, 68 comments)
- Insane Value For Money! (110 points, 17 comments)
- There's this trend of downvoting comments whenever someone recommends a Maruti. (108 points, 93 comments)
- We discus a lot about safety ratings of Indian cars in this sub but we don't often discuss the poor driving habits of Indian drivers which is an equally important issue if not more to address. (95 points, 34 comments)
- Dear MG, (83 points, 53 comments)
- 882 points, 2 submissions: term1throwaway
- 874 points, 6 submissions: l3g3ndsnvrdi3
- Crossed a river for the first time in my Thar (231 points, 35 comments)
- Brought home this beauty yesterday, Skoda Superb TDI L&K (183 points, 39 comments)
- Two new cars this year, My Thar and Dad's Tiguan AllSpace :) (161 points, 35 comments)
- Shades Of Blue (131 points, 35 comments)
- Efficiency of the BMW M340i on the highway gunning it. (90 points, 72 comments)
- Ooty in my 2021 Thar. (78 points, 11 comments)
- 859 points, 5 submissions: SUNNYHFR
- CRETA rash driving (434 points, 159 comments)
- Speed doesn't matter if you are gonna brake soon. (144 points, 9 comments)
- Take that Tata Motors!.. (114 points, 15 comments)
- Tiago EV vs Swift, Baleno, i20, & Brezza.(Features list comparision by TATA Motors). (85 points, 67 comments)
- Crumpled. (82 points, 11 comments)
- 846 points, 2 submissions: zvckp
- 837 points, 3 submissions: faltugiribuster
- Got my VW Virtus GT delivered today (643 points, 120 comments)
- Pop-up headlights (100 points, 13 comments)
- An old Toyota commercial (94 points, 7 comments)
- 825 points, 3 submissions: StreetEven5491
- the new one looks a bit diff from my previous post but still there is only a minor difference (343 points, 97 comments)
- Mahindra’s response to arun panwar (294 points, 56 comments)
- Thoughts on new verna ? (188 points, 157 comments)
- 778 points, 3 submissions: antsaregay
- Our new Honda Amaze VX CVT. Family upgraded from Alto 800. 🤝 (339 points, 61 comments)
- Kushaq base variant. See how the price goes from 8 to 15 lakh (AP) (296 points, 204 comments)
- Drop your guesses (143 points, 93 comments)
- 760 points, 2 submissions: nottoohotwheels
- Not something you see everyday (477 points, 77 comments)
- I’m filthy rich, stay away from me peasants! (283 points, 95 comments)
- 755 points, 6 submissions: Royal-Winner-7276
- vroom vroom gud (212 points, 81 comments)
- Cries in 50 lakhs on road price (153 points, 29 comments)
- ROAD IS ROAD (126 points, 6 comments)
- Got RC renewed for the Maruti 800. 20 years old car now. (96 points, 43 comments)
- Scorpio=❌ ISCARPIO=✅ (85 points, 33 comments)
- This modded Octavia produces 576 bhp, does 0-100 in 3.8 seconds, does the quarter mile in 11 seconds and on top of that it's all wheel drive. (83 points, 22 comments)
- 745 points, 1 submission: Interesting-Honey829
- 732 points, 2 submissions: nissimbhalwankar
- Why buy an overpriced fortuner when you can buy a gorgeous camry for the same price? This colour suits it really well. (591 points, 103 comments)
- Can we change the Sub's banner (141 points, 36 comments)
- 725 points, 4 submissions: Able_Tailor_6983
- What's up with Mahindra and waiting periods? Don't they calculate inventory before announcing a new car version? Or did the demand exceed expectations? (299 points, 88 comments)
- Scorpio-N tyre hits divider & gets completely dislodged from the SUV [Team-BHP] (207 points, 54 comments)
- Maruti chairman RC Bhargava says automobile industry cannot grow with 50% tax rate; All taxation need to be rationalised The Financial Express (119 points, 24 comments)
- Can someone help identify this car? (100 points, 89 comments)
- 722 points, 4 submissions: agarwalkunal12
- Maruti Suzuki Fronx - 1.2L and 1.0L turbo SUV with 3995cm length, 308 L boot,100 PS max power and 142 Nm max Torque. Safety: 6 airbags and HUD (239 points, 196 comments)
- Found this parked in the hills somewhere in Uttarakhand. (178 points, 23 comments)
- Thanks to the kind people on this sub who made my decision easier on every front. My first car and I couldn't have done this without the advise and nitpickings people made me aware of. (168 points, 57 comments)
- This is like Tata bragging about After Sales Service (137 points, 36 comments)
- 718 points, 4 submissions: Salt_Row1766
- Do minis really work in india ? (228 points, 102 comments)
- This beauty looks soo good with black alloys (224 points, 58 comments)
- Man trying to catch up a 410hp M2💀 (176 points, 36 comments)
- the all new pagani codalunga, only 5 are built the engine specs are a 6.0litre twin turbo which churns out 840 hp and 1,110nm it also costs a bomb whooping 62cr (90 points, 63 comments)
- 703 points, 5 submissions: Reddit_Survivor9
- Idk about the opinions on this car, but I love it. I think it's a perfect car for nipping off to nearby places and also something I'd give my wife if I get married in the future. What are your opinions? (202 points, 151 comments)
- Between the Verna and City facelifts, which one are you likely to consider buying? (175 points, 115 comments)
- All the cars belonging to Visakhapatnam MP MVV Satyanarayana and his son. (141 points, 61 comments)
- So these four plus the bonus in the middle are the ones I have decided on after the advice from this sub (thanks for that). Now I need the final opinion on these five(contd in comments) (93 points, 78 comments)
- Hyundai Verna test mule in SK has crashed into a bus, cabin intact. (92 points, 12 comments)
- 693 points, 1 submission: TheBestBondha
- 691 points, 5 submissions: _TheNeonDemon_
- Hyundai Venue N-Line provides built in dash cam with multiple features (158 points, 28 comments)
- Yeah, sure! (155 points, 27 comments)
- One local politician who lives in my neighbourhood always travels in his fortuner while his bodyguards/ team travels in Innova & Ertiga. Either he's super selfless & caring of his team or just plain oblivious about ride comfort. (153 points, 18 comments)
- Imagine alto with 6 airbags (133 points, 54 comments)
- Spotted this left hand drive VW in Pune yesterday. (92 points, 13 comments)
- 670 points, 3 submissions: nallasudheer
- NCAP assumes all regulators world over really don’t know their business says Maruti Suzuki (277 points, 110 comments)
- Volkswagen Taigun And Skoda Kushaq Score 5* In Latest Global NCAP Crash Tests (252 points, 148 comments)
- 2022 Maruti Suzuki Swift scores 1 star at Global NCAP crash tests (141 points, 131 comments)
- 655 points, 3 submissions: ydv98
- 646 points, 5 submissions: smcSTABBINGO
- A little retirement gift for my hero ♥️🎁 The First AX7L AWD Of My Town (319 points, 69 comments)
- I'm just gonna leave this here 😂 (86 points, 46 comments)
- Recently spotted Hyuntley i20 Continental GT (Ps - Don't you dare make it flash that light if you value your eyesight) ✌️😤 (83 points, 17 comments)
- Completed 15k in 7 months with this beauty. AX7L AWD. AMA :) (81 points, 52 comments)
- Auto rickshaw with Sequential turn indicators 🫠 Meanwhile, I'm still waiting to get mine for XUV 700 🫣 (77 points, 11 comments)
- 638 points, 1 submission: independent_hippo01
- Slaying two wheelers on Dusshera (638 points, 132 comments)
- 628 points, 5 submissions: CAC-_-TUS
- old Honda valve cover into key holder (221 points, 30 comments)
- Why hindustan motors never done R&D or Innovation? (149 points, 33 comments)
- Why this car is famous? (90 points, 52 comments)
- Any one ever sit in this? (86 points, 29 comments)
- 2023: Honda Accord (82 points, 22 comments)
- 618 points, 5 submissions: Terryted
- Had a blast taking the Thar off-roading ! She’s so capable. (Pics where taken on the iPhone 11) (158 points, 56 comments)
- Keep calm and pretend it’s the 90’s. Mitsubishi 3000GT💦 (137 points, 18 comments)
- 9 months , 20k kms (119 points, 48 comments)
- Finally got the BMW 318ti completely painted and I got to say she looks beautiful . (105 points, 35 comments)
- Crossed 14k km in 4 months . In love with this vehicle❤️ (99 points, 64 comments)
- 616 points, 3 submissions: Blitzkrieg501
- ::slow claps:: (349 points, 121 comments)
- MG Hector 2023 Facelift - Yay or Nay? (138 points, 170 comments)
- Nightfury - My blacked out MG Hector (129 points, 26 comments)
Top Commenters
- _7567Rex (5350 points, 424 comments)
- Previous-Spring-6476 (3143 points, 353 comments)
- According_Lifeguard9 (2799 points, 172 comments)
- okayhumaunder (2532 points, 377 comments)
- TheManFromUnkill (2358 points, 149 comments)
- NeedleworkerLegal573 (2334 points, 231 comments)
- mxforest (2081 points, 131 comments)
- Patient-Grocery8871 (1821 points, 257 comments)
- kshb4xred (1761 points, 226 comments)
- neighbour_guy3k (1740 points, 143 comments)
Top Submissions
- Got a new navigation system for my car by Old_Membership1326 (1426 points, 92 comments)
- Lovely analysis on why EV’s are not the future for India by Faisal khan by adrock_99 (1408 points, 229 comments)
- Whoever says you can’t use sunroof in India, lacks imagination. by Interesting-Honey829 (745 points, 50 comments)
- An oversimplified guide to the Indian Car Scene by term1throwaway (703 points, 146 comments)
- Throwback to when my friend crashed his car 10 minutes after taking the delivery. by TheBestBondha (693 points, 110 comments)
- Got my VW Virtus GT delivered today by faltugiribuster (643 points, 120 comments)
- Slaying two wheelers on Dusshera by independent_hippo01 (638 points, 132 comments)
- 😩 by FriendshipOk6055 (613 points, 83 comments)
- I know this sub is not a fan of the Harrier, but this car has been my dream car since its launch. Got it delivered day before yesterday, and it's a dream to drive. ADAS is wonderful. by Loneagl090 (592 points, 184 comments)
- Why buy an overpriced fortuner when you can buy a gorgeous camry for the same price? This colour suits it really well. by nissimbhalwankar (591 points, 103 comments)
Top Comments
- 451 points: According_Lifeguard9's comment in What is the technical reason for having such a wide gap between the left and right lanes?
- 381 points: threadnoodle's comment in ACCIDENT BETWEEN HYUNDAI I20 VS MARUTI SUZUKI GRAND VITARA
- 369 points: TurboWraith's comment in Our Family’s First SUV. What all accessories should i go for ?
- 369 points: zvckp's comment in CRETA rash driving
- 360 points: neighbour_guy3k's comment in Hyundai Venue accident
- 346 points: AlternativeClothes43's comment in Which car has the cleanest image and is considered to be the least rashly driven on our roads?
- 337 points: Why_when_where's comment in what's this car?
- 335 points: almighty_dev's comment in Bichare ka permanent number tak nahi aaya tha! 🥲
- 334 points: KebabB0i's comment in 😩
- 332 points: dnj69's comment in Tata Tiago accident on Mumbai-Pune Expressway
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2023.03.28 16:32 Hybective Update: White 2004 Jeep TJ (read below)
 | This is an automatic 2004 Jeep TJ 4.0L 6 Cylinder with 64k miles that is currently on sale near me. I saw the jeep and took it for a test drive yesterday and I am going to detail my concerns as well as post these images so I can get your opinions on it and what you would pay. submitted by Hybective to JeepTJ [link] [comments] The positives: -Mileage is 64,000 -transmission switches very smooth -very little rust on the frame -engine sounds and looks great -mostly factory -comes with a soft top -comes with Forest Green Half doors -dash, blinkers, lights, and wipes all function -switching to 4 wheel drive is smooth -no rust on floor, with great carpet The negatives: -has been damaged on passenger side (rebuilt title, that is why the Jeep Decals are missing on the passenger side) -in circle 1 the windshield has a gap on the driver side which could of been the result of repairing it and un-properly reseating it (that is why the screws are black) -in circle 2 there seems to be screws missing on the frame -rear window needs new pumps and tint is pealing and one of the hinges pins is replaced with a nail -AC is cold but makes clicking noises -the passenger side step is missing -rear seats are different color -half doors are missing the upper half -the soft top plastic window covers are slightly scuffed up and brown tinted but it is all complete -needs new tires! -hardtop has been repainted white and is scuffed up revealing a lot of black scratches -lastly, when test driving it the Jeep felt weird, as if the back wheels were somehow skidding slightly, not sure if this is just how Jeep TJs feel since they are nimble. Driving it in 4 wheel drive completely eliminates this. The owner wants $11,500 in total for the Jeep, half doors, and soft top all together. Kelly blue book gives me a value of $8,400-$10,200 for the Jeep in good condition. After considering all of this, what would you all honestly pay for this Jeep or at least offer? |
2023.03.28 12:46 isthisasobot A true blue scout
Reading the Art of Dreaming we get aquainted with the mystical figure of the blue scout. Say or think what you want about it, you just won't get it until you' ve had an encounter with " her" yourself. The little girl which was stuck in the inorganic beings realm as bate doesn' t only pertain to Castaneda but to all of us. But one thing which should be clear is that Carlos is the one who had freed her from her chains. We have to believe that as readers, to take that at face value. So what does it mean that the blue scout is free? It means all of the bullshit is exposed, nobody can really pretend anymore and truly get away with it.. it means a bridge between our small body movements with our small mouth noises, but more importantly it means the freedom of an organic being from another dimension. It' s quite a claim, which from our comfortable position as modern humans with acces to all this kind of storytelling could also mean that we are at the end of a myth which has been playing out for thousands of years. So if "the blue scout" is organic, looks like a human but comes from.. well..outer space...where does that leave us? Who cares? The important thing I guess is that Carlos made us conscious of something which he has freed. Something abstact. When people go about with this picture in their heads of some blonde cutie who ended up killing herself.. it's like that's the " competition idea", the one our " imaginary" world thought of for lack of a better explanation.. yet it has no reality, no intent.. it stops there what would have been a dead end road had she not did what cc said.. to drive the car into infinity. There must be so many people still in that intent of her car, which has no problem whatsoever with dying. But that's not the end. Of course not, the little blue girl is eternal, far out and ancient. No problems there. But there is more. There is also a male version of the blue scout. This is not book deal mind. It's just another story which I would be happy to give for free but there is no one to listen to me. So it's nothing for now. Which is super good with me. Death is something you can get used to and yet never do which is like a safety catch. Don't get used to anything, especially your self, which isn't even really yourself but that calls for endless arguements. The blue scout left me a note before he kicked the bucket. I wonder if there is any true curiosity out there as to what he or she may have written, as a final goodbye.
submitted by isthisasobot to castanedahealing [link] [comments]
2023.03.28 12:27 ulsdjbdampc blue book value naked women celebs what is this song adult video arcade free credit report top dating apps instagram.com cherokee d ass videos marketplace facebook chubby teen fuck dsw coupon pc part deals reddit hotels near me saggy tits video michael learned fuck you card game
submitted by ulsdjbdampc to roesdhbdcec1 [link] [comments]
2023.03.28 05:29 ERAreddit Diablo 4 Beta Testing Opinions & Thoughts *Warning Long*
So before I start this, I want to point out these are MY OPINIONS/THOUGHTS. I may feel a totally different way than others and that's perfectly okay. I'm not here to insult anyone, or step on toes, it's strictly my criticism on what I thought of my experience playing the beta. I've just an average-joe nobody wanting to share about my experience.
I'm going to try to break down things into categories so it's easier to read, and if you don't care about that topic you can completely disregard it.
- Itemization The reason I'm placing this one at the top is because it's honestly my biggest fear on what's going to make or break the game.
Diablo 3 itemization sucked, lets face it. It was a total wash and 95% of legendaddy's you found were utterly useless late game, and Diablo 4 is on the same pathway it seems. The biggest reason they suck, is because they aren't "unique or legendary". When I'm playing a necro, Boots will drop to the ground, I pick them up and the item & stats are "Rathma's Treads of Dread" - ( +3 Intelligence, +4 Willpower, +1 Bone Skills) Okay, that's fine right? I play my barbarian Boots will drop to the ground, I pick them up and and the item & stats are "Rathma's Treads of Dread" - ( +4 Strength, +3 Vitality, +1 Defensive Cooldowns)
These are not unique items, these are exceptional rarer, than rare items. Because they roll with random stats EVERY time, and then they will also differentiate between what main stat types of character you are playing. The reason Diablo 2, Path Of Exile (yes a lot of uniques sucked in POE), and Last Epoch's itemization is so good is because when something unique drops and you see it, you know what its worth and how rare and lucky you are to actually find it.
For example, Diablo 2; when you seen a "Shako" hit that ground, your butthole would tighten a little because you KNEW you had an amazing helm with +2 to Skills, Mana, Life, etc, every single time. Now I know you could argue the point of, "Well, then items will become stale in the long term." sure, maybe, but not with Seasons and Expansions where they can keep adding to them. I don't know about you, but I never once said in my 20 years of Diablo 2 "Ew, ANOTHER Soj?!"
With the current itemization they are going, every single unique is going to be a complete gamble and more than likely it's going to be garbage which will also make it impossible to trade. This pulls me into my next topic.
Trading - I don't know much about what they are doing with this, so I don't really have a lot to say. I believe they are doing some type of Renown Trader type system? What that's going to entail I don't know, and I guess I'm just excited on how they plan to approach it. Because let's face it, when they remove trading from an ARPG you basically turn the game into a giant SSF game like what happened in Diablo 3 I hope they don't take the same route.
Sadly, if Itemization isn't fixed, you will never be able to trade items with other players because the stats will be so incredibly different every time it will make it almost impossible to find the worth of said item. I also noticed that when you enchant an item, it becomes soulbound. That limits it even more, because now if you don't need that item anymore you can't even sell/trade it.
All in all, my conclusion is Itemization and Trading is going to crash and burn unless they fix something. My solution would be... leave uniques how they are, and in Nightmare and Torment mode, create a new type that's called "Legendary" these items are truly the unique of the unique items because they have FIXED stats, and the only thing that changes on them is the numeric roll numbers on the stats. Without a change, there will be no item chase, with that, there will be no form of currency or value, with that there will be little to no trading done.
- Item Power
Honestly, what even is this? It doesn't work like D2 OR POE where items that have a higher "Item power" can roll better modifiers on them when crafted. I really hate this, it just has an extreme mobile game feel to it. The one's with the terrible actors and they are like "YoU dOnt STanD a ChAnCE aGaInSt mE! I hAvE 20,000 poWeR lEveL!"
If every item that has +10 more Item Power is better than the unique that I upgraded to 4/4, rerolled a modifier, gemed it, and imprinted on, I'm going to be pissed.
- Enchanting
It's simplistic, so much to the point that it doesn't feel good. You reroll a bad mod on and item, and you keep rerolling it until you get your crit, or crit damage modifer you want, it just costs more gold. After that you put your unique modifier on it and you're done.
I by no means want a crafting system like POE, that shit literally hurt my brain and I almost never did it because it was like taking a masters degree on crafting. We're playing a game afterall.
I really was hoping for something a little different. I don't know really what exactly, I like Last Epochs approach where you only have so much crafting you can do on that item before it becomes permanent. Something with a little more uniqueness, like for example.
You're exploring and you find a shrine of crafting. You could either grab it now, or you could use a crafted rune, or vellum made from the Enchanter, this would allow you to store that shrine for later use. When you use this shrine it causes you to become lucky for the next 1-5 minutes. This makes it so your crafting rolls are more likely to roll extremely rare modifiers, or cause you to randomize the numeric values on your item. With that said..
- Shrines
Not much to say, most of the shrines are the same as Diablo 3. Hopefully they add some new extremely rare, or exciting ones. Not really sure what else is to be said about them they're fun, they are quick, you know what you're getting with them when you click them.
Hopefully they find another way to build onto the current system.
- Gem System
Same system from Diablo 3. I never cared for it, it just became socketing either.. All Damage for SC or all Health/Resistances for HC. Going to be the same thing for D4
I would of much preferred a rare rune, and socket punching system instead. Runes extremely rare, crazy good modifiers, more elemental damage, more physical, + all skills etc. Requires the blood of world bosses to fuel a forge to become hot enough for the runemaster to place/socket your legendary items with these unique runes.
- Rare/Magic Affix Elites
It's literally copy-pasta from Diablo 3 with a few extra ones added in. Honestly, these are boring as hell. It's a beta, we don't know what the higher difficulties hold yet, but if I see wallers and arcane sentry infused elites in every single End-Game rift/dungeon it's going to get stale real fast.
I came up with these while writing this, I'm not saying they are perfect or even good but it definitely shows there is plenty of room to add more unique modifiers. Some examples.
Glistening - Infused with gemstones into it's skin. This gives it 50+% to all elemental resistances, and on death causes the monster to shed the gems from it skin.
Golden - Bathed in gold, immune to stuns, takes 100% increased fire damage from sources. On death spew forth a fountain of gold.
Glimmer - This elite has a curious sparkle to it, what could it be hiding? This mob refuses to give up the unique item it has in its possession and is rebirthed one time to full health. On death drops a guarantee unique item.
Seven Sins - Make a unique modifier for each of the deadly sins... pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth.
Anyways, you get the picture, tons of room for improvement on elites, please add to it Blizzard!
- Classes and Class Identity
(Before I dive into this, I just want to reiterate, this is MY OPINION, you may think I'm fucking insane, or what I think is totally stupid. That's great, I love that you have your opinion, express it to me in the comments below)
When I say Class Identity - I don't mean a Rogue feeling like a Rogue, or a Necro feeling like a Necro. I think Diablo 4 absolutely nailed Class Identity in this aspect and that every class feels totally amazing in their own unique way.
What I mean by Class Identity is how you build your character. I like themes to characters, when I find a certain item that maybe changes Frozen Orb to Molten Orb. This item gives it a new unique look, converts all frost dmg into fire, and gives it fire penetration, etc. Once I have this item I start to theory craft builds for Sorceress now.
When I play the Sorc, I want to be a master of Fire, sure I can use other magics, but I'm never going to be as powerful with lightning or frost as I will be with fire. I really don't think I should just be able to pay 50,000 gold and respect completely out of fire and become a master of frost or lightning.
I think there needs to be some type of consequence to allow more permanence in how you build your character. I also feel that if you are just allowed to freely respec everything it's going to cause Meta Builds to emerge much quicker.
I don't even know how to begin on solving this issue, because I know some people feel the way I do, and a lot of people HATE re-leveling characters. I like to play Hardcore, so re-leveling characters comes naturally with time and I really enjoy leveling new characters.
I could go on, and on about this but it would be extremely biased so I'm going to stop and go into how I like the characters and what I rate them.
- Character Ratings
I'm going to try to keep it simple and more in terms on aesthetics and how the character feels to me. There are tons of youtube videos of the big names like Krip, Alk, Quin, etc that deep dive into them. I think every class is going to be good, and I could care less if the Necro is super OP at the start. It was a Beta, we don't have a good idea on what these characters are going to be like mid-end game.
- Barbarian - 7.2/10
The first character I decided to try.. as far as feeling like a barbarian, I think it's good. I don't think he's supposed to be this hulk like strength character everyone thinks he's supposed to be. Has a large arsenal of weapons, and is able to master any of them with ease and be devastating with them. War cries staggering the enemies in fear or terror. Shreding demons with dual wielding, crashing down on them with warhammers, cutting them in half with a giant waraxe or sword. In terms of the barbarian feel, I think it feels awesome.
Bad news, I really didn't enjoy the weapon swapping though. I'm worried they are just going to become stat-sticks and you will end up running one main weapon type and ability. Hopefully I'm wrong
- Rogue - 8.2/10
2nd character I played, and played it on HC. (Ripped at level 25 to the vampire boss that summons the additional elites in that stronghold) Aesthetically, feels great. Looks and plays exactly how you would expect. Mix of Assassin and Demon Hunter, infusing your weapons with shadow, posion, or chilling. Laying traps to immobilize your enemies while you lay into them with your ranged abilities, building combo points up quick and easily, then unleashing an enhanced version of your core skill. I had fun with this class. I was actually a little upset when I ripped because I had the Twisting Blades unique and was almost one shotting dungeon bosses. (Overtuned I know, was still fun though.)
Had a blast. Didn't feel as squishy as I thought the class would be. More than likely the 2nd Class I play when the games out.
- Necro - 4.5/10
The class I thought I was going to play. I wanted to love Necro so much and maybe I still might, but honestly playing it... It just didn't feel good to me. I enjoyed the Diablo 2 Necro much better.
The first thing was the skeletons, they had a very Diablo 3/Cartoonish vibe to them. I want them to be dead and dark, I understand they probably wanted you to be able to distinguish between your minions and the enemies, make their eyes glow not their entire bodies.
The other thing that really bothered me was the corpses that spawned. I think it looked weird and ended up just being an eye sore and immersion breaking at times. I kill a skeleton and giant pile of flesh and intestines now sits atop their bones.
Blizzard went back to their roots and made a dark and gorey game but ended up what I think, failing horribly on the aesthetics of one of the darkest classes to choose from.
- Sorceress - ?/10
I knew everyone would play Sorceress first, they always do. I knew she'd be one of the most powerful, that's usually how it goes haha. I didn't play much of the Sorceress, I never really was a fan even in Diablo 2. Therefore I can't really give a good rating.
From watching others in game, and youtube videos. The class looks like your average sorceress, master of the elements. Hopefully she gets some bigger and more devastating abilities and the paragon system can change them on how they look and feel. Uldyssian was a badass, so the Sorceress better be too.
- Druid - 9.5/10
Through all the rage and disappoint the Druid brought to these forums. It was the class I enjoyed the most. I truly felt like I was playing a druid, the beautifully seamless transition when you go into your Wolf or Bear form pretty much sold me on the class immediately. I've always loved the bear form from D2 and was always butthurt that it just wasn't good. I didn't play around much with the other builds because I was having so much fun with the shapeshifting skills, I also didn't want to spoil anything else from them their toolkit. Although bonus, I loved the earth skills and how he casts them. Reminded me a lot of the Avatar and Earth Bending haha.
I'm 100% sure I will be playing Druid release day.
- World
Loved Diablo 1, and 2 theme, it was dark, scary, and grotesque. I think Blizzard killed it here and I'm so glad they chose to go back to this rather than stick to Diablo 3 aesthetics . For my first playthrough of almost all ARPG's I try to explore every nook and cranny of the game.
I like to be immersed in the game and get that full experience of what the game developers poured their heart in soul into for the years. Because with every new character you slowly become more and more meta and skip more and more of that content as time goes on.
I fully intend to absorb and explore everything I possibly can on my first playthrough of Diablo 4, I've already told my friends I'm not playing with anyone or getting on Discord until I finish the game lol. Again Blizzard did amazing, and I'm really looking forward to exploring the Dry Steppes, the hidden lore throughout, fighting some iconic bosses from Diablo 2 and of course enjoying easily some of the best Cinematics out there from company.
Going to try to wrap this up now with a few miscellaneous things.
- UI/Interface
There definitely needs to be some scaling sizes, It doesn't need to be that big so please give us an option if we'd like to shrink it a bit. There's a few other things that feel kind of clunky. The map is one, we NEED a map overlay in front of us like D2 has. I have a muscle memory tab clicking problem. Just generally viewing the world map feels off. Trying to view the renown rewards and such.
The biggest concern that I care is fixed before release. PLEASE, add another action bar slot and find a better way to incorporate the move/interact left click. Attacks on left click are awful, even worse for ranged.
- Followers
Haven't seen anything on Followers, and my fingers are crossed we don't. I hated them in Diablo 3. They ended up just being stat sticks and were pretty much dead weight the whole time they were with you.
- Vendors
Honestly I don't have a clue why they are in the game lol, the crafting vendostations obviously have their purpose, but that guy selling that dope blue sword with +2 strength, get rid of them. I'd much rather see different interactions with people in towns. Something along the lines of like Witcher playing Gwent with random townsfolks.
- Clans
Other than a simple structure to fill with friends, other players. What could be done with this system? I'm hoping they try to add on to this to make it feel a little more unique. Clan War ladder ranking, guild tabard/emblem cosmetic features, shared stash tab, etc.
Obviously this would have to be something 100% cosmetic, and or for bragging rights nothing else. Because any bonuses would cause being in a clan to be almost mandatory.
That about wraps it up for me. Thanks to everyone and anyone who took the time to read all of this. I know there's tons of other stuff I could have brought up, but these were some of the things I wanted to get my thoughts out on. I'd love to hear your thoughts & opinions on anything I mentioned and what you liked or disliked so far playing.
Looking forward to June 6th, in the mean time I'll be reading the Diablo Lore books and playing Last Epoch to tide me over. Take care everyone, see you all in Sanctuary!
submitted by ERAreddit to diablo4 [link] [comments]
I'm going to try to break down things into categories so it's easier to read, and if you don't care about that topic you can completely disregard it.
- Itemization The reason I'm placing this one at the top is because it's honestly my biggest fear on what's going to make or break the game.
Diablo 3 itemization sucked, lets face it. It was a total wash and 95% of legendaddy's you found were utterly useless late game, and Diablo 4 is on the same pathway it seems. The biggest reason they suck, is because they aren't "unique or legendary". When I'm playing a necro, Boots will drop to the ground, I pick them up and the item & stats are "Rathma's Treads of Dread" - ( +3 Intelligence, +4 Willpower, +1 Bone Skills) Okay, that's fine right? I play my barbarian Boots will drop to the ground, I pick them up and and the item & stats are "Rathma's Treads of Dread" - ( +4 Strength, +3 Vitality, +1 Defensive Cooldowns)
These are not unique items, these are exceptional rarer, than rare items. Because they roll with random stats EVERY time, and then they will also differentiate between what main stat types of character you are playing. The reason Diablo 2, Path Of Exile (yes a lot of uniques sucked in POE), and Last Epoch's itemization is so good is because when something unique drops and you see it, you know what its worth and how rare and lucky you are to actually find it.
For example, Diablo 2; when you seen a "Shako" hit that ground, your butthole would tighten a little because you KNEW you had an amazing helm with +2 to Skills, Mana, Life, etc, every single time. Now I know you could argue the point of, "Well, then items will become stale in the long term." sure, maybe, but not with Seasons and Expansions where they can keep adding to them. I don't know about you, but I never once said in my 20 years of Diablo 2 "Ew, ANOTHER Soj?!"
With the current itemization they are going, every single unique is going to be a complete gamble and more than likely it's going to be garbage which will also make it impossible to trade. This pulls me into my next topic.
Trading - I don't know much about what they are doing with this, so I don't really have a lot to say. I believe they are doing some type of Renown Trader type system? What that's going to entail I don't know, and I guess I'm just excited on how they plan to approach it. Because let's face it, when they remove trading from an ARPG you basically turn the game into a giant SSF game like what happened in Diablo 3 I hope they don't take the same route.
Sadly, if Itemization isn't fixed, you will never be able to trade items with other players because the stats will be so incredibly different every time it will make it almost impossible to find the worth of said item. I also noticed that when you enchant an item, it becomes soulbound. That limits it even more, because now if you don't need that item anymore you can't even sell/trade it.
All in all, my conclusion is Itemization and Trading is going to crash and burn unless they fix something. My solution would be... leave uniques how they are, and in Nightmare and Torment mode, create a new type that's called "Legendary" these items are truly the unique of the unique items because they have FIXED stats, and the only thing that changes on them is the numeric roll numbers on the stats. Without a change, there will be no item chase, with that, there will be no form of currency or value, with that there will be little to no trading done.
- Item Power
Honestly, what even is this? It doesn't work like D2 OR POE where items that have a higher "Item power" can roll better modifiers on them when crafted. I really hate this, it just has an extreme mobile game feel to it. The one's with the terrible actors and they are like "YoU dOnt STanD a ChAnCE aGaInSt mE! I hAvE 20,000 poWeR lEveL!"
If every item that has +10 more Item Power is better than the unique that I upgraded to 4/4, rerolled a modifier, gemed it, and imprinted on, I'm going to be pissed.
- Enchanting
It's simplistic, so much to the point that it doesn't feel good. You reroll a bad mod on and item, and you keep rerolling it until you get your crit, or crit damage modifer you want, it just costs more gold. After that you put your unique modifier on it and you're done.
I by no means want a crafting system like POE, that shit literally hurt my brain and I almost never did it because it was like taking a masters degree on crafting. We're playing a game afterall.
I really was hoping for something a little different. I don't know really what exactly, I like Last Epochs approach where you only have so much crafting you can do on that item before it becomes permanent. Something with a little more uniqueness, like for example.
You're exploring and you find a shrine of crafting. You could either grab it now, or you could use a crafted rune, or vellum made from the Enchanter, this would allow you to store that shrine for later use. When you use this shrine it causes you to become lucky for the next 1-5 minutes. This makes it so your crafting rolls are more likely to roll extremely rare modifiers, or cause you to randomize the numeric values on your item. With that said..
- Shrines
Not much to say, most of the shrines are the same as Diablo 3. Hopefully they add some new extremely rare, or exciting ones. Not really sure what else is to be said about them they're fun, they are quick, you know what you're getting with them when you click them.
Hopefully they find another way to build onto the current system.
- Gem System
Same system from Diablo 3. I never cared for it, it just became socketing either.. All Damage for SC or all Health/Resistances for HC. Going to be the same thing for D4
I would of much preferred a rare rune, and socket punching system instead. Runes extremely rare, crazy good modifiers, more elemental damage, more physical, + all skills etc. Requires the blood of world bosses to fuel a forge to become hot enough for the runemaster to place/socket your legendary items with these unique runes.
- Rare/Magic Affix Elites
It's literally copy-pasta from Diablo 3 with a few extra ones added in. Honestly, these are boring as hell. It's a beta, we don't know what the higher difficulties hold yet, but if I see wallers and arcane sentry infused elites in every single End-Game rift/dungeon it's going to get stale real fast.
I came up with these while writing this, I'm not saying they are perfect or even good but it definitely shows there is plenty of room to add more unique modifiers. Some examples.
Glistening - Infused with gemstones into it's skin. This gives it 50+% to all elemental resistances, and on death causes the monster to shed the gems from it skin.
Golden - Bathed in gold, immune to stuns, takes 100% increased fire damage from sources. On death spew forth a fountain of gold.
Glimmer - This elite has a curious sparkle to it, what could it be hiding? This mob refuses to give up the unique item it has in its possession and is rebirthed one time to full health. On death drops a guarantee unique item.
Seven Sins - Make a unique modifier for each of the deadly sins... pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth.
Anyways, you get the picture, tons of room for improvement on elites, please add to it Blizzard!
- Classes and Class Identity
(Before I dive into this, I just want to reiterate, this is MY OPINION, you may think I'm fucking insane, or what I think is totally stupid. That's great, I love that you have your opinion, express it to me in the comments below)
When I say Class Identity - I don't mean a Rogue feeling like a Rogue, or a Necro feeling like a Necro. I think Diablo 4 absolutely nailed Class Identity in this aspect and that every class feels totally amazing in their own unique way.
What I mean by Class Identity is how you build your character. I like themes to characters, when I find a certain item that maybe changes Frozen Orb to Molten Orb. This item gives it a new unique look, converts all frost dmg into fire, and gives it fire penetration, etc. Once I have this item I start to theory craft builds for Sorceress now.
When I play the Sorc, I want to be a master of Fire, sure I can use other magics, but I'm never going to be as powerful with lightning or frost as I will be with fire. I really don't think I should just be able to pay 50,000 gold and respect completely out of fire and become a master of frost or lightning.
I think there needs to be some type of consequence to allow more permanence in how you build your character. I also feel that if you are just allowed to freely respec everything it's going to cause Meta Builds to emerge much quicker.
I don't even know how to begin on solving this issue, because I know some people feel the way I do, and a lot of people HATE re-leveling characters. I like to play Hardcore, so re-leveling characters comes naturally with time and I really enjoy leveling new characters.
I could go on, and on about this but it would be extremely biased so I'm going to stop and go into how I like the characters and what I rate them.
- Character Ratings
I'm going to try to keep it simple and more in terms on aesthetics and how the character feels to me. There are tons of youtube videos of the big names like Krip, Alk, Quin, etc that deep dive into them. I think every class is going to be good, and I could care less if the Necro is super OP at the start. It was a Beta, we don't have a good idea on what these characters are going to be like mid-end game.
- Barbarian - 7.2/10
The first character I decided to try.. as far as feeling like a barbarian, I think it's good. I don't think he's supposed to be this hulk like strength character everyone thinks he's supposed to be. Has a large arsenal of weapons, and is able to master any of them with ease and be devastating with them. War cries staggering the enemies in fear or terror. Shreding demons with dual wielding, crashing down on them with warhammers, cutting them in half with a giant waraxe or sword. In terms of the barbarian feel, I think it feels awesome.
Bad news, I really didn't enjoy the weapon swapping though. I'm worried they are just going to become stat-sticks and you will end up running one main weapon type and ability. Hopefully I'm wrong
- Rogue - 8.2/10
2nd character I played, and played it on HC. (Ripped at level 25 to the vampire boss that summons the additional elites in that stronghold) Aesthetically, feels great. Looks and plays exactly how you would expect. Mix of Assassin and Demon Hunter, infusing your weapons with shadow, posion, or chilling. Laying traps to immobilize your enemies while you lay into them with your ranged abilities, building combo points up quick and easily, then unleashing an enhanced version of your core skill. I had fun with this class. I was actually a little upset when I ripped because I had the Twisting Blades unique and was almost one shotting dungeon bosses. (Overtuned I know, was still fun though.)
Had a blast. Didn't feel as squishy as I thought the class would be. More than likely the 2nd Class I play when the games out.
- Necro - 4.5/10
The class I thought I was going to play. I wanted to love Necro so much and maybe I still might, but honestly playing it... It just didn't feel good to me. I enjoyed the Diablo 2 Necro much better.
The first thing was the skeletons, they had a very Diablo 3/Cartoonish vibe to them. I want them to be dead and dark, I understand they probably wanted you to be able to distinguish between your minions and the enemies, make their eyes glow not their entire bodies.
The other thing that really bothered me was the corpses that spawned. I think it looked weird and ended up just being an eye sore and immersion breaking at times. I kill a skeleton and giant pile of flesh and intestines now sits atop their bones.
Blizzard went back to their roots and made a dark and gorey game but ended up what I think, failing horribly on the aesthetics of one of the darkest classes to choose from.
- Sorceress - ?/10
I knew everyone would play Sorceress first, they always do. I knew she'd be one of the most powerful, that's usually how it goes haha. I didn't play much of the Sorceress, I never really was a fan even in Diablo 2. Therefore I can't really give a good rating.
From watching others in game, and youtube videos. The class looks like your average sorceress, master of the elements. Hopefully she gets some bigger and more devastating abilities and the paragon system can change them on how they look and feel. Uldyssian was a badass, so the Sorceress better be too.
- Druid - 9.5/10
Through all the rage and disappoint the Druid brought to these forums. It was the class I enjoyed the most. I truly felt like I was playing a druid, the beautifully seamless transition when you go into your Wolf or Bear form pretty much sold me on the class immediately. I've always loved the bear form from D2 and was always butthurt that it just wasn't good. I didn't play around much with the other builds because I was having so much fun with the shapeshifting skills, I also didn't want to spoil anything else from them their toolkit. Although bonus, I loved the earth skills and how he casts them. Reminded me a lot of the Avatar and Earth Bending haha.
I'm 100% sure I will be playing Druid release day.
- World
Loved Diablo 1, and 2 theme, it was dark, scary, and grotesque. I think Blizzard killed it here and I'm so glad they chose to go back to this rather than stick to Diablo 3 aesthetics . For my first playthrough of almost all ARPG's I try to explore every nook and cranny of the game.
I like to be immersed in the game and get that full experience of what the game developers poured their heart in soul into for the years. Because with every new character you slowly become more and more meta and skip more and more of that content as time goes on.
I fully intend to absorb and explore everything I possibly can on my first playthrough of Diablo 4, I've already told my friends I'm not playing with anyone or getting on Discord until I finish the game lol. Again Blizzard did amazing, and I'm really looking forward to exploring the Dry Steppes, the hidden lore throughout, fighting some iconic bosses from Diablo 2 and of course enjoying easily some of the best Cinematics out there from company.
Going to try to wrap this up now with a few miscellaneous things.
- UI/Interface
There definitely needs to be some scaling sizes, It doesn't need to be that big so please give us an option if we'd like to shrink it a bit. There's a few other things that feel kind of clunky. The map is one, we NEED a map overlay in front of us like D2 has. I have a muscle memory tab clicking problem. Just generally viewing the world map feels off. Trying to view the renown rewards and such.
The biggest concern that I care is fixed before release. PLEASE, add another action bar slot and find a better way to incorporate the move/interact left click. Attacks on left click are awful, even worse for ranged.
- Followers
Haven't seen anything on Followers, and my fingers are crossed we don't. I hated them in Diablo 3. They ended up just being stat sticks and were pretty much dead weight the whole time they were with you.
- Vendors
Honestly I don't have a clue why they are in the game lol, the crafting vendostations obviously have their purpose, but that guy selling that dope blue sword with +2 strength, get rid of them. I'd much rather see different interactions with people in towns. Something along the lines of like Witcher playing Gwent with random townsfolks.
- Clans
Other than a simple structure to fill with friends, other players. What could be done with this system? I'm hoping they try to add on to this to make it feel a little more unique. Clan War ladder ranking, guild tabard/emblem cosmetic features, shared stash tab, etc.
Obviously this would have to be something 100% cosmetic, and or for bragging rights nothing else. Because any bonuses would cause being in a clan to be almost mandatory.
That about wraps it up for me. Thanks to everyone and anyone who took the time to read all of this. I know there's tons of other stuff I could have brought up, but these were some of the things I wanted to get my thoughts out on. I'd love to hear your thoughts & opinions on anything I mentioned and what you liked or disliked so far playing.
Looking forward to June 6th, in the mean time I'll be reading the Diablo Lore books and playing Last Epoch to tide me over. Take care everyone, see you all in Sanctuary!
2023.03.28 03:10 Kactuslord Info from the Charlotte Observer 2000-2004
Hi everyone,
Apologies if this isn't formatted right as it's my first post of this kind and I'm on mobile. I'm also unsure if this has been posted about before but in case it hasn't, I thought I would collate some interesting info on Asha's case I found in the Charlotte Observer. Some of this information may already be known to some of you but I think it's good to have it all in one place to discuss.
LEAVING THE HOUSE
We know according to Ruppe that she never looked up at his vehicle even though he turned back three times. Either she was scared and went towards the Turner's shed or that is where she was originally headed. If she really knew where she was going, it's certainly possible she had left home before without her parents knowing. Perhaps other kids had played near there or someone had told her about it.
ASHA'S CLOTHING
THE WITNESS SIGHTINGS
THE TURNER'S SHED
THE BOOKBAG
POLICE THEORIES
POSSIBLE EVIDENCE
All quotes are direct from the Charlotte Observer, ranging from 17th February 2000 to the 13th November 2004.
submitted by Kactuslord to AshaDegree [link] [comments]
Apologies if this isn't formatted right as it's my first post of this kind and I'm on mobile. I'm also unsure if this has been posted about before but in case it hasn't, I thought I would collate some interesting info on Asha's case I found in the Charlotte Observer. Some of this information may already be known to some of you but I think it's good to have it all in one place to discuss.
LEAVING THE HOUSE
Her parents found all the doors in the house locked, Harold Degree said. Asha had a key, but kept it in the book bagI found this interesting as obviously Asha was somewhat safety conscious. After she left the house, she made sure to lock the door behind her. I believe that the person in the car must have been known to her in some way - a friend's parent, a parent's colleague, a neighbour, a distant relative, a teacher, a cousin's friend, someone she knew from Church... I think she knew them even a small amount which gave her the confidence to get into the car willingly or at least to approach it. Perhaps she recognised the car.
they found the doors locked and there were no signs of forced entry.
She doesn't even open the front door for me without getting her mother's permission, and I'm her aunt," said Patricia Banks, Harold Degree's sister.
Her walk began on a straight two-lane stretch about 3 miles north of Shelby. A mile into the walk, truckers spotted Asha near the bottom of a hill
"I went back, but she never did look up at me," Ruppe said."She looked like she knew where she was going. She was walking at a pretty good pace."
We know according to Ruppe that she never looked up at his vehicle even though he turned back three times. Either she was scared and went towards the Turner's shed or that is where she was originally headed. If she really knew where she was going, it's certainly possible she had left home before without her parents knowing. Perhaps other kids had played near there or someone had told her about it.
ASHA'S CLOTHING
Asha went to bed in a nightshirt. Missing from her room were the clothes she wore the day before - a white T-shirt with purple lettering that was made for a Degree family reunion held in Atlanta, blue jeans and white tennis shoes.Did she sleep with her hair still in pigtails? It's also not clear if she put on the Atlanta T-shirt or was still wearing her nightshirt. Did she leave the nightshirt behind? I believe Ruppe definitely saw her that night based on his description.
packed her basketball uniform, two favorite outfits and Tweety Bird purse
Police believe Asha dressed, packed her book bag with her two favorite outfits and disappeared into the rainy night without a coat. No one knows why
She had on a little dress and white tennis shoes, and her hair was in pigtails.
THE WITNESS SIGHTINGS
walking south along the road near the intersection of N.C. 180These early accounts put Roy Blanton Sr.'s sighting at 4:30 am and Jeff Ruppe's sighting at 4 am. This would mean she only spent around 30 minutes in the Turner's shed, leaving behind some belongings. If she was walking South, does this mean the abductor drove her away from Shelby in the opposite direction towards the area where the bag was dumped?
about 4:30 that morning
spotted a young girl walking south on N.C. 18 around 4 a.m. Monday. Thinking it was strange, Jeff Ruppe turned around
walking south on N.C. 18, near the intersection of N.C. 180, about 4 a.m. Monday
passed by a third time, he noticed Asha veering off the highway into the fog and darkness
THE TURNER'S SHED
Turner's wife and daughter gave searchers the other items, which they had kept in a pile on their porch, Crawford said. Asha's relatives recognized the items."The parents were just tore all to pieces because they said 'Yes! Yes! It's hers," said Cleveland County sheriff's Detective Wayne Thomas. Crawford said he believed the most significant find was the pencil that had "Atlanta" on it. The Degree family held its reunion there last year.I had previously doubted the identification of the items in the shed but it's clear that Asha's parents were very sure. The Atlanta pencil makes me quite confident it was hers - she also had taken her Atlanta reunion T-shirt with her. I'm curious who else was at that reunion - perhaps a close family friend or a distant relative.
investigators interviewed possible witnesses Thursday, including the Turners and a man who lived in a mobile home near the outbuildingIf Rev. Mackie Turner has dogs kept behind the shed and says he didn't hear anything, does that mean he's the man living in a mobile home on the Turner's property? Or is he another neighbour? Is he part of the Turner family?
Neighbors don't remember anything unusual. The Rev. Mackie Turner, pastor of Buffalo Baptist Church, keeps six beagles in a dog lot behind the shed."They bark if they see anybody," he said. "But I didn't hear a thing."
THE BOOKBAG
a construction worker found the items about 1 p.m. Friday in a wooded area along N.C. 18 about six miles south of MorgantonThis means she was likely abducted in the green car not long after Roy Blanton Sr.'s 4:30 am sighting. The bookbag was found only 40 miles from her last sighting. We know now that they also found the NKOTB t-shirt and the book from her school library. It seems Police believe these items did not belong to Asha but someone else - perhaps the perp gave them to her or it belonged to their family member, maybe a child. It seems the bag may have been dumped not long after Asha was abducted. The book, if from Asha's school library seems like a huge lead imo. Surely this would point the finger at a staff member or a parent of another child?
The site of Friday's find is about 40 miles north of where she was last seen
The bag, sources said, appeared to have been there for a significant amount of time rather than dumped there recently.
The black and beige bag was spotted 20 feet off the road
The discovery, which sources said also included clothing, a piece of paper and a pencil case
Ninety-nine point nine percent of what was in that bag was Asha's.
The backpack and its contents were flown Monday to an FBI lab in Quantico, VA., for tests officials hope might lead them to a suspect in Asha's disappearance. It is unclear how long the tests will take.The forensic analysis will likely include checks for hair, fingerprints, fibers or other microscopic evidence, sources said.I believe they have found something of evidentiary value. More on this further down!
Authorities said they told the Degree family about the find but did not show them the backpack or items inside it.This has always given me pause. Why not let them identify the items the way they had with the items in the Turner's shed? I also recall reading that Mr Fleming (?) the construction worker who found the bag said the contents unsettled him. My suspicion is that there was blood stains on the items in the bag.
POLICE THEORIES
authorities say they believe she left home by herself, then met with trouble.I am still unsure as to why she left her house but I do believe her parents have nothing to do with it. It appears they have been thoroughly cleared by Police.
"I can pretty much say that (Asha's parents) have been ruled out as suspects," Crawford said.
Two authorities on missing children say 9-year-olds simply don't walk out of the house in the middle of the night and seemingly evaporate. "She doesn't fit any standard profile of a missing child," said John Goad, director of the N.C. Center for Missing Persons, citing Asha's age and apparently stable home. "I don't think a case like hers has ever happened anywhere, anytime."I think the rarity of stumbling into an offender is what's made this case so difficult. Randomer abductions are rare in normal circumstances but the chance of her running into someone with no prior history but with the desire to hurt a child is so unbelievably rare. I do believe it is possible though. I still believe that she knew this person, even just recognising them from church or school. I think the key to solving this is why was this perp on that stretch of road at 4:30 am if it was a random encounter? Heading home after work? Heading to work? Other reasons?
Asha's case is probably different, Crawford said, because if she was abducted, she likely stumbled upon the offender. Such crimes of opportunity are difficult to crack because the offender may not have a criminal history to flag police.
Police pursued every possible angle, said Crawford. They explored whether someone lured Asha through the Internet, interviewed known sex offenders and checked those who had contact with her, including relativesInteresting that they made a profile of an abductor. This furthers my opinion that the FBI definitely have suspicions about a specific perp.
Two investigators working on Asha's case went to Quantico, VA., to meet with agents in the FBI's Child Abduction and Serial Killer Unit, who drew up a psychological profile of a possible abductor. Crawford would not discuss the profile.
Crawford said its location - farther than the little girl could have walked - and the fact it was wrapped in two black trash bags indicates the girl...was likely abducted, and possibly killedThis doesn't surprise me really. Most child abductions unfortunately end in the death of the child. Why put the bag in two trash bags? To preserve it? Remorse so don't destroy the bag?
detectives now say they believe Asha was abducted and possibly killed along N.C. 18.
There are some prime spots between here and Shelby where she could have been discarded," Benton said, referring to the endless gullies, ravines and kudzu patches that line the stretchThe police appear to believe that her body was dumped along Highway 18, somewhere between where she was last seen and where the bookbag was dumped. I agree that a perp would only dump the bag after she was dead to get rid of the evidence.
Randy McKinney, assistant director of Burke County Emergency Services, told them to watch for mounds, sunken areas and unusual vegetation -- possible gravesites
Dan Crawford said it doesn't make sense that someone would bury Asha close to where she was last seen on Feb.14, 2000, and then risk driving somewhere else with her belongings
Crawford said he believes Asha was killed by a person acting alone and committing that type of crime for the first time.He also said it's unlikely a sexual offender was involved because they wouldn't go out so early in the morning expecting to find a young girl alone on the highway. Whoever saw Asha that night took the opportunity to assault her in some way, Crawford said. "And once they did whatever they did to her, they knew they couldn't let her go," he said. "Once they cross that barrier, they can't back up. Then fear sets in and they don't know what to do."I don't necessarily agree with the part about a sexual offender. Couldn't they have been driving home or something and happened across her by accident?
POSSIBLE EVIDENCE
Although deputies say they have found no evidence linking Herbert Johnson to Degree's disappearance, they asked him on Monday to submit hair and blood samples."If nothing else, to eliminate anything," Gordon said.Two men, Danny Ray Johnson and Herbert Johnson were questioned in relation to Asha's case. From the Observer, it seems to suggest one was in prison and the other was in a mental health facility at the time of her disappearance. But what I found most interesting was that police took hair and blood samples from them both to eliminate them. Surely in order to eliminate them, they must have had samples from the perp? Most likely hairs or other DNA from the bookbag!
All quotes are direct from the Charlotte Observer, ranging from 17th February 2000 to the 13th November 2004.
2023.03.28 02:27 gmt80035 2006 Toyota Highlander V6
 | Used 2006 Toyota Highlander,it has a 3.3L V6 engine it gets 24 mpg asking price: $7,500 3rd row seating,awd submitted by gmt80035 to carsforsale [link] [comments] |
2023.03.28 00:58 QuillofNumenor 42 [M4F] Kentucky/Anywhere US - Fat nerdy boy seeking fat nerdy girl
Hi there. I am a 42 year old man in Louisville, KY. I am currently going through a divorce and have been separated from my ex-wife for five months. Ours is an amicable and uncontested divorce that is going to take place as soon as we move out of our home this summer. There is zero chance of any kind of reconciliation and both of us have moved on with our lives.
I’m seeking my person. The one who is right for me, whom I fulfill and am fulfilled by.
Stuff about me:
submitted by QuillofNumenor to r4r [link] [comments]
I’m seeking my person. The one who is right for me, whom I fulfill and am fulfilled by.
Stuff about me:
- I am fat. Always have been. Not looking to change that right now. If you’re not into big dudes, please don’t waste your or my time. If you are into big dudes, then you’re probably going to enjoy me.
- I am into fat liberation and will not tolerate being treated like a second-class citizen because of my size.
- I’m 6’4”. Broadly built, big belly, long legs. I went prematurely bald as a teenager and shave my head regularly. I have a large beard that I’m growing out long. I have blue-gray eyes which I’ve been told are pretty. I wear glasses and dress mostly in t-shirts and jeans. I hate wearing socks and wear sandals even in the winter.
- I’m a highly sensitive person.
- I am a childhood trauma survivor and am on a lifelong healing journey. I am in therapy every week.
- I do not want kids. Let me repeat that: I do not want kids. This is a dealbreaker. It is one of the reasons I’m getting divorced. I wish to live a childfree life by myself or with a deeply-connected partner. My mind will not change on this.
- I am very open with my emotions. I am the opposite of toxic masculinity.
- I am excellent at communicating my needs and feelings and I am almost always direct.
- I am a huge nerd/geek/fanboy. Tabletop RPGs are my main hobby, followed closely by all types of video games. I’m a movie and TV fan, especially sci fi and Marvel. Lover of comics and fantasy books. I’m a toy collector. Lover of 80s and 90s pop culture. Lifelong fan of Tolkien and Middle-earth. Love/hate relationship with Star Wars. Big fan of hard sci-fi like Alastair Reynolds and Stephen Baxter.
- I am strongly an LGBTQIA+ ally.
- I do not believe in god or religion and am against dogma and unfalsifiable claims of any kind. I will not tolerate any form of bigotry or prejudice.
- I am vaccinated.
- My sense of humor is eclectic and varied. I’m sarcastic, pop culture-referential, punny, dad-jokey, absurdist, ironic, and good at callbacks.
- I am loyal, giving, kind, compassionate, an advocate for those I care about, passionate, assertive, and introspective. I have much love to give to others.
- I am seeking monogamy.
- I do not smoke, drink, or do drugs.
- I have a steady and secure job that I’m good at, but I’m also strongly antiwork and only work because oppressive systems force me to.
- A partner. In every sense of the word. I want communication. Compassion. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Authenticity. The ability to be vulnerable.
- Someone who is trauma-informed or willing to learn, or who has at least some experience in therapy and is invested in their own, and others’, mental health.
- Someone mature and serious about being in a relationship. No games, no stringing along, no flings or one-night stands. I want someone who is ready to love and be loved. And be single and available, that should go without saying. If you’re seeing someone and reading this and thinking “I should talk to this guy too” just don’t. Just. Don’t.
- It would help a lot if you’re into some kind of nerdy stuff or fandoms. Doesn’t have to be mine, but just being part of the culture is great. I’d love to be able to share TV shows and movies and hobbies, though.
- Someone who is comfortable being a homebody, who doesn’t need constant stimulation or to be around people to feel good. Someone who values quiet and calm and reflection. Not looking for a hiking or camping buddy, but am looking for a “snuggle in bed and watch TV every night” buddy.
- Dog-lovers are an extremely big plus. I have two.
- Don’t smoke. Dealbreaker. Drinking in moderation is okay. Not a fan of the funny rope but if you do it in moderation I can tolerate it.
- You’re not avoidant. I spent 10 years being the pursuer to my ex’s distancer. Done doing that. I want someone who shows up for me emotionally.
- Be confident in who you are. Say what you mean. Go for what you want.
- Honesty.
- Be fat-positive and sex-positive. Kink-friendly a plus.
- Be some form of left-leaning politically.
- Actually be into fat guys, not just tolerant of them.
- Be fat yourself. Thick, rubenesque, curvy, whatever you want to call it. I love big girls, especially those with big booties.
- Don’t know why but southern accents in girls are a huge turn-on.
- I enjoy a red-headed lass.
- Glasses are sexy.
- Sex is important to me, but not the only thing I’m looking for. I’m open to people who are some flavor of ace, potentially.
- If you engage in a creative outlet of any kind, be it art, music, writing, or whatever, that’s a nice plus.
- If you’re not judgmental about picky eaters, that’s a huge W. In fact, non-judgmental overall is a big one.
2023.03.27 22:20 shy_147 2023 Army Assessment Centre Experience
2023 AAC Experience
Originally posted in /britisharmy and thought I should post here too.
I have recently undertaken (and passed) assessment, so thought it may be beneficial to some for an updated summary of the proceedings. It is fairly lengthy, but includes up to date details of the process, which I hope you all find useful.
Day 0
You will be sent an email with links to the various cognitive/maths/English tests around midnight on the day of arrival. They will be available on the portal. Do not click into them, they are one time use. If you click them you may have to reschedule the whole assessment. Do NOT click them!
Do yourself a favour and pack well in advance, not the night before. Double check all documentation you are required to take. You will need two forms of ID such as valid driving license, birth certificate or passport, as well as utility bill. GCSE's or equivalent and any higher education certs. Tickets for the train need to be collected from a ticket machine, do not leave it to the morning of travel! In the morning check trainline.com to confirm your train isn't cancelled or delayed.
Collection from the station is 1700. I got to Lichfield City station with plenty of time and was one of the first in my intake to arrive. After a while loads of lads started filling out the station, no one really spoke as everyone appeared very nervous. It is fairly obvious who is there for assessment.
A member of staff in black came over and guided us to the car park over the road to the coach. We lined up against the wall for a document check. You are given your number here. Remember it, write it on your hand, type it on your phone. The staff do ask a final time if anyone needs reminding once you arrive, but don't be one of those candidates who needs reminding.
When we arrived, we dumped our bags under a covered seating area and lined up in three ranks. We then filed into the main centre and made our way into the lecture theatre. Blue coloured bibs are on the chairs, sit in the seat with your allocated number. We were told to put the bib on and sit in the chair. You get a numbered water bottle and a pen. These two things do not leave your side from now on. Do not lose either of them. We filled out a load of forms, certificates check and place them and your ID in an envelope, we were told to keep these safe until the morning when they would be checked and processed by the admin team. We were then led through to the classroom in groups to check army portal log on works and links for the tests have been sent. After this we watched a brief video outlining the next few days activities.
We then lined up outside, always three ranks from now on. We were sent for dinner at the cook house. Seated and then when ready sent one table at a time to the hot plates. The chef now takes your plate and puts the food on it for you, no self-service. Make sure you finish eating your meal before the staff are done. When told to line up outside make sure you tuck in the chairs and remember water bottles.
Back for ice breaker (name/where you're from, job choice and interesting fact or fear). Its short and sweet, some lads did theirs in literally 15 seconds. Pad it out a bit longer as that is a bit too quick, don’t act like you are rushing through it. Keep eye contact with the entire room, speak nice and loud and clearly. Add a bit of humour. We Then got a break down of Day 1 in more detail, then shown accommodation and given timings for lights out, breakfast, etc. Given access to the rec room. Given time to research roles and to speak to family, relax, TV, etc or access computer room to study for ACT if you haven't already. You are allowed to keep your phone on you for most of your time here, just don’t start using it when you shouldn’t be.
In the accommodation block we were told to put bibs on the end of the beds so if there is an emergency in the night we are easy to identify. Typical military bunks and a locker each. I've stayed in a few barracks in the past and Lichfield is actually pretty decent and modern, don’t get used to it. The pillows are awful, so good tip is to bring your own travel pillow. The bedding is laid out by the previous intake, so you have to make it. Our room agreed alarms at 0530. Many of you will know, barracks are usually either boiling hot or freezing cold. The first night we were all roasting even with the window open.
Day 1
Alarms off at 0530. Get up and straight into shower and shave. It pays to be first here as hot water dropped off for the lads who went a bit later, and if you leave it too late you are queuing for the showers. Start drinking water now as urine sample is required sometime during the morning, but also your run is hopefully tomorrow, so stay hydrated today. Water is always available in reception for top ups or from sinks in the ablutions. Tidy up the room and make your beds as you have a brief room inspection before breakfast. Make sure lockers are shut, bags under beds and bedding is made. Put phone chargers away. Water bottle and pen, then three ranks outside and to breakfast. The bleep test is not until after your medical on day 2 so eat as much as possible today. Lunch is provided during your various assessments, but not in the cookhouse. Highly suggest no caffeine as it can affect ECG later on, although plenty of lads drank it and were fine. Personally, I went without as didn’t want to chance it.
Back to the lecture theatre. We were told to take a sample bottle from the grey tray and write our number on it. We were told at any point if we needed to urinate for our sample to just go to the toilet without asking. Fill it, rinse it off and place it in the pink tray. Dont be like one bloke who bought his sample back with him into the theatre, that went down like a lead balloon with the staff and had us all howling. We had another brief power point presentation with a run through of the Army Cognitive Tests, which included examples. There were tips/advice given by the staff which was helpful. You are allowed pen and paper during the ACT’s so you can write things down to help if needed. You will be going between the classroom for tests and the med block for medical tests depending how busy it is. The admin team arrived and checked our documents, we signed the envelope and it was then sealed. After this we had a briefing by medical staff and briefly check med forms are correct. Required to wear mask at all times during the medical process. They hand these out so don’t worry about bringing your own. They take you through in small groups. I was led to a waiting room with about 5 other lads and told to take everything off apart from t-shirt, shorts, shoes, socks, jewelry is allowed if it is religious. If you end up in a waiting room, try to sit at the front as they call the front in first, otherwise be prepared for a long wait.
You are initially filtered through the below tests, the results of which are put into your medical folder. You can fail at this stage but will not be told until they have been reviewed by the doctor prior to having your physical examination, you will be told of a failure/deferral during this examination. The nurses measure height and weight, calculate your BMI, check your eye sight (if you have a recent optometrist report they seem to skip this step if the results of the report are within the limits), colour blind test (book with coloured dotted circles with numbers and you have to read out the numbers that you can see), ECG and potentially an echocardiogram and a hearing test. There is lots of waiting and queuing but to be fair I was never in the same spot for long. You may be sent off for tests in-between to speed up process. I was sent to the classroom for tests twice in a row because the doctor’s waiting room was too busy.
A few notes on the hearing test. It is a very hot booth; you will sweat in it. The test starts as soon as the door shuts and the beeps are a lot quieter than you imagine they will be. You still have to wear your mask at this point so you will hear yourself breathing, try to breath slowly and quietly.
During this process I undertook the ACT (useful link to practice these at the end of this post) and because I went for a trade, the TST. For this you are given 45 minutes. You are allowed to use (and given) a calculator. It covers GCSE level mathematics, so think ratios, percentages, decimals, averages, fractions, volume, speed, distance and time and a bit of algebra. Good resources for this if you haven’t recently taken your GCSE’s and need some revision, are BBC Bitesize and Corbett Maths. Don’t panic too much about this, you should be able to get the minimum required for your role if you revise two or three weeks before hand. I would recommend taking it even if the role you are initially going for (e.g. infantry) doesn’t require it. You have nothing to lose taking it, if you score enough (easily achievable) it can unlock other job roles you may not have thought about.
A note about the classroom – when you enter, keep your voice to a whisper as people will be in and out all morning undertaking tests. This also goes for waiting rooms in the med block, keep your voices down and don’t let your excitement/nerves get the better of you and you all start running your mouth. It will not go down well.
When you are finally seated in the doctor’s waiting room, you are asked to complete a short medical form. It asks about close family history, if you have suffered any particular diseases or issues in the past. Do not lie on this form, be honest, but it goes without saying, there is no need to state anything if it is not on your medical records.
The doctor will check your blood pressure, your joints and tendons, lungs/breathing, eyes, teeth, movements, hip mobility. Discussion around anything declared by you on the form in reception and on your RGMD form your own doctor completed. You will be asked to strip down to your underwear and perform a few variations of walking on a line, e.g. on your tip toes, on the sides of your feet, etc. You will squat and duck walk, they will check neck rotation, shoulder rotation, flexibility to some extent and finally do 5 press ups and to hold the last rep. At this stage you either pass with a green bib and can continue, an orange bib means you are deferred, no run for you on Day 2 but you are fit to do the mid-thigh pull, med ball throw and the team tasks. A red bib is a fail. That means no exercise at all but I believe you can continue with the team tasks and interview. If you receive no bib at all, you are sent home there and then as this is a deferral for 12 months or a bar from service.
At some point after you are deemed fit for service you will perform the mid-thigh pull and med ball throw. Mid-thigh pull is essentially a rack pull with a fixed bar. You will be given two or three chances to complete, and pull for 5 seconds with everything you have got. The best way to prepare for this in the gym is either deadlifts or if you are worried about form and injuring your back, rack pulls, which closely resembles this test. The med ball throw can be a bit strange at first but you shouldn’t need to practice it more than a few times. Prepare for this by doing bench press, dips and push ups.
You grab lunch from reception and eat in the rec room. We were then shown a DVD in reception showing 14 weeks of basic training and a chat from Catterick PTI regarding infantry. Reserves pulled aside for another chat on top outlining the reserves process which is slightly different. After this we got our boiler suits, gloves and helmets issued for team tasks on Day 2, and were told to leave them in the rec room. At this point the next intake of candidates had arrived. We were told under no circumstances should we approach them. At dinner we were given the opportunity to use the onsite shop. I used this as an opportunity to buy food for the travel back the next day on the train. I highly recommend trying to get as much sleep as possible for tomorrow.
Day 2
0530 wake up call again. Start drinking now. Shower, shave, sports kit. Use any spare minutes now to pack your stuff away as best you can, as you will not have a great deal of time to do it later. Ideally, you want everything besides your clothes for interview packed away in your bags before you head down to eat. We also had to strip the dirty linen off our beds and lay out the new sheets as per pictures dotted around the block. Our intake was about 28 so no one slept on the top bunks, so we just copied the layout from those. Breakfast at 0620. Eat light as you will be doing the bleep test soon after 0800. We then waited in the rec room for the PTI to arrive and brief us on the test. He also went through a series of slides regarding healthy eating habits, fitness, what to expect at basic, etc. We were told to fill your bottles up and we were then led outside for test. Fill your bottle to the brim as it will be checked. You are split into groups of 7-8. You then meet another PTI to perform a warm up. The warm up was actually taxing and easily felt like the first 3 or 4 levels of bleep test, so be aware, it did catch a lot of us off guard. Start practicing the test at home with a 10 minute warm up prior, either a 1km run or a few levels of the test first.
We were told three strikes in a row do not count towards score if consecutive, so if you get one, catch up to get the next beep, get a second warning, catch up to make the next one, third strike you are out. Do NOT stop at your chosen role, you need to be a few levels above (if going for Para’s at 11.6 they stop it here anyway). You need to put maximum effort in and come off the test feeling like you are going to puke. Your interviewer will be watching at the side lines as well, so it really needs to be full on effort.
When you receive your third and final warning or they stop the test, you are led to a cool down, then into the rec room and your boiler suits. You are kept in the same teams as your run to complete the team tasks. You need to be vocal, even when you are not doing anything and waiting for your turn for example, you need to be encouraging your team members. Spend a few minutes, discussing as a team, everyone’s ideas and agree on the best one. It is key here that you all ensure everyone knows what they are doing and when. You need to work at pace, with a sense of urgency. We were explained you would be doing tasks such as this under enemy fire, so you need to be loud, you need to be shouting encouragement and you need to be moving at speed.
Once complete you will take off all your gear and place it back in the room. We were then given about 20 minutes to head back to the block, shower and get dressed for our interview, this was fairly chaotic as everyone seemed to finish the team tasks at a similar time, so people were queuing for the shower at this point. This is where packing when you got up or the night before will help you with time management.
We got to have a cooked lunch in the cookhouse this time, rather than a baguette. We were then led back to the lecture theatre for a final time. Here we had to sit in chairs at the back of the room, that did not have bibs placed on them, as a new intake would be arriving that evening. You wait for your interviewer to call your number.
You will be led through the back of the theatre into an office where you will sit down and discuss the following:
How you think you did, the army’s values and standards (know your CDRILS – not just what it stands for, but examples of how you apply them in your civilian life and how you utilise them in the army itself), job choice and info around that role. You don’t need to go overboard, but I would recommend knowing a good amount about the regiment or corps you want to join, the role itself, what is involved, where the regiment/corps are currently serving, etc. You need to know about phase 1 and phase 2 training, and give detailed answers about what is involved. Your interviewer will then go through the results of the cognitive and technical tests, your beep test score/run time, mid-thigh/med ball results and team tasks. They will then grade your score and issue your certificate. When there is enough of you done, they will minibus you back to station.
I managed to pass with an A grade. I kept my mouth shut and listened. If I didn’t understand something, I asked for them to clarify, it is better to ask again than to try wing it and get it wrong, I tried to be almost over the top confident, but not cocky or loud (but be loud in the team tasks!), I socialised just enough with the rest of the lads, but stayed away from the over the top throbbers thinking it is a weekend away at Butlins, keep your room tidy and your things kept away. Keep your phone out of sight unless you are on down time or the rec room. Sit up straight and don't slouch, dont cross your arms. Eat and shower fast and finally, keep your water bottle and pen on you always.
I hope the above helps ease some nerves of new candidates and gives an insight into the current process at assessment.
ACT Simulator https://justajolt.pythonanywhere.com/act\_simulato
submitted by shy_147 to britishmilitary [link] [comments]
Originally posted in /britisharmy and thought I should post here too.
I have recently undertaken (and passed) assessment, so thought it may be beneficial to some for an updated summary of the proceedings. It is fairly lengthy, but includes up to date details of the process, which I hope you all find useful.
Day 0
You will be sent an email with links to the various cognitive/maths/English tests around midnight on the day of arrival. They will be available on the portal. Do not click into them, they are one time use. If you click them you may have to reschedule the whole assessment. Do NOT click them!
Do yourself a favour and pack well in advance, not the night before. Double check all documentation you are required to take. You will need two forms of ID such as valid driving license, birth certificate or passport, as well as utility bill. GCSE's or equivalent and any higher education certs. Tickets for the train need to be collected from a ticket machine, do not leave it to the morning of travel! In the morning check trainline.com to confirm your train isn't cancelled or delayed.
Collection from the station is 1700. I got to Lichfield City station with plenty of time and was one of the first in my intake to arrive. After a while loads of lads started filling out the station, no one really spoke as everyone appeared very nervous. It is fairly obvious who is there for assessment.
A member of staff in black came over and guided us to the car park over the road to the coach. We lined up against the wall for a document check. You are given your number here. Remember it, write it on your hand, type it on your phone. The staff do ask a final time if anyone needs reminding once you arrive, but don't be one of those candidates who needs reminding.
When we arrived, we dumped our bags under a covered seating area and lined up in three ranks. We then filed into the main centre and made our way into the lecture theatre. Blue coloured bibs are on the chairs, sit in the seat with your allocated number. We were told to put the bib on and sit in the chair. You get a numbered water bottle and a pen. These two things do not leave your side from now on. Do not lose either of them. We filled out a load of forms, certificates check and place them and your ID in an envelope, we were told to keep these safe until the morning when they would be checked and processed by the admin team. We were then led through to the classroom in groups to check army portal log on works and links for the tests have been sent. After this we watched a brief video outlining the next few days activities.
We then lined up outside, always three ranks from now on. We were sent for dinner at the cook house. Seated and then when ready sent one table at a time to the hot plates. The chef now takes your plate and puts the food on it for you, no self-service. Make sure you finish eating your meal before the staff are done. When told to line up outside make sure you tuck in the chairs and remember water bottles.
Back for ice breaker (name/where you're from, job choice and interesting fact or fear). Its short and sweet, some lads did theirs in literally 15 seconds. Pad it out a bit longer as that is a bit too quick, don’t act like you are rushing through it. Keep eye contact with the entire room, speak nice and loud and clearly. Add a bit of humour. We Then got a break down of Day 1 in more detail, then shown accommodation and given timings for lights out, breakfast, etc. Given access to the rec room. Given time to research roles and to speak to family, relax, TV, etc or access computer room to study for ACT if you haven't already. You are allowed to keep your phone on you for most of your time here, just don’t start using it when you shouldn’t be.
In the accommodation block we were told to put bibs on the end of the beds so if there is an emergency in the night we are easy to identify. Typical military bunks and a locker each. I've stayed in a few barracks in the past and Lichfield is actually pretty decent and modern, don’t get used to it. The pillows are awful, so good tip is to bring your own travel pillow. The bedding is laid out by the previous intake, so you have to make it. Our room agreed alarms at 0530. Many of you will know, barracks are usually either boiling hot or freezing cold. The first night we were all roasting even with the window open.
Day 1
Alarms off at 0530. Get up and straight into shower and shave. It pays to be first here as hot water dropped off for the lads who went a bit later, and if you leave it too late you are queuing for the showers. Start drinking water now as urine sample is required sometime during the morning, but also your run is hopefully tomorrow, so stay hydrated today. Water is always available in reception for top ups or from sinks in the ablutions. Tidy up the room and make your beds as you have a brief room inspection before breakfast. Make sure lockers are shut, bags under beds and bedding is made. Put phone chargers away. Water bottle and pen, then three ranks outside and to breakfast. The bleep test is not until after your medical on day 2 so eat as much as possible today. Lunch is provided during your various assessments, but not in the cookhouse. Highly suggest no caffeine as it can affect ECG later on, although plenty of lads drank it and were fine. Personally, I went without as didn’t want to chance it.
Back to the lecture theatre. We were told to take a sample bottle from the grey tray and write our number on it. We were told at any point if we needed to urinate for our sample to just go to the toilet without asking. Fill it, rinse it off and place it in the pink tray. Dont be like one bloke who bought his sample back with him into the theatre, that went down like a lead balloon with the staff and had us all howling. We had another brief power point presentation with a run through of the Army Cognitive Tests, which included examples. There were tips/advice given by the staff which was helpful. You are allowed pen and paper during the ACT’s so you can write things down to help if needed. You will be going between the classroom for tests and the med block for medical tests depending how busy it is. The admin team arrived and checked our documents, we signed the envelope and it was then sealed. After this we had a briefing by medical staff and briefly check med forms are correct. Required to wear mask at all times during the medical process. They hand these out so don’t worry about bringing your own. They take you through in small groups. I was led to a waiting room with about 5 other lads and told to take everything off apart from t-shirt, shorts, shoes, socks, jewelry is allowed if it is religious. If you end up in a waiting room, try to sit at the front as they call the front in first, otherwise be prepared for a long wait.
You are initially filtered through the below tests, the results of which are put into your medical folder. You can fail at this stage but will not be told until they have been reviewed by the doctor prior to having your physical examination, you will be told of a failure/deferral during this examination. The nurses measure height and weight, calculate your BMI, check your eye sight (if you have a recent optometrist report they seem to skip this step if the results of the report are within the limits), colour blind test (book with coloured dotted circles with numbers and you have to read out the numbers that you can see), ECG and potentially an echocardiogram and a hearing test. There is lots of waiting and queuing but to be fair I was never in the same spot for long. You may be sent off for tests in-between to speed up process. I was sent to the classroom for tests twice in a row because the doctor’s waiting room was too busy.
A few notes on the hearing test. It is a very hot booth; you will sweat in it. The test starts as soon as the door shuts and the beeps are a lot quieter than you imagine they will be. You still have to wear your mask at this point so you will hear yourself breathing, try to breath slowly and quietly.
During this process I undertook the ACT (useful link to practice these at the end of this post) and because I went for a trade, the TST. For this you are given 45 minutes. You are allowed to use (and given) a calculator. It covers GCSE level mathematics, so think ratios, percentages, decimals, averages, fractions, volume, speed, distance and time and a bit of algebra. Good resources for this if you haven’t recently taken your GCSE’s and need some revision, are BBC Bitesize and Corbett Maths. Don’t panic too much about this, you should be able to get the minimum required for your role if you revise two or three weeks before hand. I would recommend taking it even if the role you are initially going for (e.g. infantry) doesn’t require it. You have nothing to lose taking it, if you score enough (easily achievable) it can unlock other job roles you may not have thought about.
A note about the classroom – when you enter, keep your voice to a whisper as people will be in and out all morning undertaking tests. This also goes for waiting rooms in the med block, keep your voices down and don’t let your excitement/nerves get the better of you and you all start running your mouth. It will not go down well.
When you are finally seated in the doctor’s waiting room, you are asked to complete a short medical form. It asks about close family history, if you have suffered any particular diseases or issues in the past. Do not lie on this form, be honest, but it goes without saying, there is no need to state anything if it is not on your medical records.
The doctor will check your blood pressure, your joints and tendons, lungs/breathing, eyes, teeth, movements, hip mobility. Discussion around anything declared by you on the form in reception and on your RGMD form your own doctor completed. You will be asked to strip down to your underwear and perform a few variations of walking on a line, e.g. on your tip toes, on the sides of your feet, etc. You will squat and duck walk, they will check neck rotation, shoulder rotation, flexibility to some extent and finally do 5 press ups and to hold the last rep. At this stage you either pass with a green bib and can continue, an orange bib means you are deferred, no run for you on Day 2 but you are fit to do the mid-thigh pull, med ball throw and the team tasks. A red bib is a fail. That means no exercise at all but I believe you can continue with the team tasks and interview. If you receive no bib at all, you are sent home there and then as this is a deferral for 12 months or a bar from service.
At some point after you are deemed fit for service you will perform the mid-thigh pull and med ball throw. Mid-thigh pull is essentially a rack pull with a fixed bar. You will be given two or three chances to complete, and pull for 5 seconds with everything you have got. The best way to prepare for this in the gym is either deadlifts or if you are worried about form and injuring your back, rack pulls, which closely resembles this test. The med ball throw can be a bit strange at first but you shouldn’t need to practice it more than a few times. Prepare for this by doing bench press, dips and push ups.
You grab lunch from reception and eat in the rec room. We were then shown a DVD in reception showing 14 weeks of basic training and a chat from Catterick PTI regarding infantry. Reserves pulled aside for another chat on top outlining the reserves process which is slightly different. After this we got our boiler suits, gloves and helmets issued for team tasks on Day 2, and were told to leave them in the rec room. At this point the next intake of candidates had arrived. We were told under no circumstances should we approach them. At dinner we were given the opportunity to use the onsite shop. I used this as an opportunity to buy food for the travel back the next day on the train. I highly recommend trying to get as much sleep as possible for tomorrow.
Day 2
0530 wake up call again. Start drinking now. Shower, shave, sports kit. Use any spare minutes now to pack your stuff away as best you can, as you will not have a great deal of time to do it later. Ideally, you want everything besides your clothes for interview packed away in your bags before you head down to eat. We also had to strip the dirty linen off our beds and lay out the new sheets as per pictures dotted around the block. Our intake was about 28 so no one slept on the top bunks, so we just copied the layout from those. Breakfast at 0620. Eat light as you will be doing the bleep test soon after 0800. We then waited in the rec room for the PTI to arrive and brief us on the test. He also went through a series of slides regarding healthy eating habits, fitness, what to expect at basic, etc. We were told to fill your bottles up and we were then led outside for test. Fill your bottle to the brim as it will be checked. You are split into groups of 7-8. You then meet another PTI to perform a warm up. The warm up was actually taxing and easily felt like the first 3 or 4 levels of bleep test, so be aware, it did catch a lot of us off guard. Start practicing the test at home with a 10 minute warm up prior, either a 1km run or a few levels of the test first.
We were told three strikes in a row do not count towards score if consecutive, so if you get one, catch up to get the next beep, get a second warning, catch up to make the next one, third strike you are out. Do NOT stop at your chosen role, you need to be a few levels above (if going for Para’s at 11.6 they stop it here anyway). You need to put maximum effort in and come off the test feeling like you are going to puke. Your interviewer will be watching at the side lines as well, so it really needs to be full on effort.
When you receive your third and final warning or they stop the test, you are led to a cool down, then into the rec room and your boiler suits. You are kept in the same teams as your run to complete the team tasks. You need to be vocal, even when you are not doing anything and waiting for your turn for example, you need to be encouraging your team members. Spend a few minutes, discussing as a team, everyone’s ideas and agree on the best one. It is key here that you all ensure everyone knows what they are doing and when. You need to work at pace, with a sense of urgency. We were explained you would be doing tasks such as this under enemy fire, so you need to be loud, you need to be shouting encouragement and you need to be moving at speed.
Once complete you will take off all your gear and place it back in the room. We were then given about 20 minutes to head back to the block, shower and get dressed for our interview, this was fairly chaotic as everyone seemed to finish the team tasks at a similar time, so people were queuing for the shower at this point. This is where packing when you got up or the night before will help you with time management.
We got to have a cooked lunch in the cookhouse this time, rather than a baguette. We were then led back to the lecture theatre for a final time. Here we had to sit in chairs at the back of the room, that did not have bibs placed on them, as a new intake would be arriving that evening. You wait for your interviewer to call your number.
You will be led through the back of the theatre into an office where you will sit down and discuss the following:
How you think you did, the army’s values and standards (know your CDRILS – not just what it stands for, but examples of how you apply them in your civilian life and how you utilise them in the army itself), job choice and info around that role. You don’t need to go overboard, but I would recommend knowing a good amount about the regiment or corps you want to join, the role itself, what is involved, where the regiment/corps are currently serving, etc. You need to know about phase 1 and phase 2 training, and give detailed answers about what is involved. Your interviewer will then go through the results of the cognitive and technical tests, your beep test score/run time, mid-thigh/med ball results and team tasks. They will then grade your score and issue your certificate. When there is enough of you done, they will minibus you back to station.
I managed to pass with an A grade. I kept my mouth shut and listened. If I didn’t understand something, I asked for them to clarify, it is better to ask again than to try wing it and get it wrong, I tried to be almost over the top confident, but not cocky or loud (but be loud in the team tasks!), I socialised just enough with the rest of the lads, but stayed away from the over the top throbbers thinking it is a weekend away at Butlins, keep your room tidy and your things kept away. Keep your phone out of sight unless you are on down time or the rec room. Sit up straight and don't slouch, dont cross your arms. Eat and shower fast and finally, keep your water bottle and pen on you always.
I hope the above helps ease some nerves of new candidates and gives an insight into the current process at assessment.
ACT Simulator https://justajolt.pythonanywhere.com/act\_simulato
2023.03.27 21:58 QuillofNumenor 42 [M4F] Kentucky/Anywhere US - Fat nerdy boy seeking fat nerdy girl
Hi there. I am a 42 year old man in Louisville, KY. I am currently going through a divorce and have been separated from my ex-wife for five months. Ours is an amicable and uncontested divorce that is going to take place as soon as we can sell our home this summer. There is zero chance of any kind of reconciliation and both of us have moved on with our lives.
I’m seeking my person. The one who is right for me, whom I fulfill and am fulfilled by.
Stuff about me:
submitted by QuillofNumenor to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]
I’m seeking my person. The one who is right for me, whom I fulfill and am fulfilled by.
Stuff about me:
- I am fat. Always have been. Not looking to change that right now. If you’re not into big dudes, please don’t waste your or my time. If you are into big dudes, then you’re probably going to enjoy me.
- I am into fat liberation and will not tolerate being treated like a second-class citizen because of my size.
- I’m 6’4”. Broadly built, big belly, long legs. I went prematurely bald as a teenager and shave my head regularly. I have a large beard that I’m growing out long. I have blue-gray eyes which I’ve been told are pretty. I wear glasses and dress mostly in t-shirts and jeans. I hate wearing socks and wear sandals even in the winter.
- I’m a highly sensitive person.
- I am a childhood trauma survivor and am on a lifelong healing journey. I am in therapy every week.
- I do not want kids. Let me repeat that: I do not want kids. This is a dealbreaker. It is one of the reasons I’m getting divorced. I wish to live a childfree life by myself or with a deeply-connected partner. My mind will not change on this.
- I am very open with my emotions. I am the opposite of toxic masculinity.
- I am excellent at communicating my needs and feelings and I am almost always direct.
- I am a huge nerd/geek/fanboy. Tabletop RPGs are my main hobby, followed closely by all types of video games. I’m a movie and TV fan, especially sci fi and Marvel. Lover of comics and fantasy books. I’m a toy collector. Lover of 80s and 90s pop culture. Lifelong fan of Tolkien and Middle-earth. Love/hate relationship with Star Wars. Big fan of hard sci-fi like Alastair Reynolds and Stephen Baxter.
- I am strongly an LGBTQIA+ ally.
- I do not believe in god or religion and am against dogma and unfalsifiable claims of any kind. I will not tolerate any form of bigotry or prejudice.
- I am vaccinated.
- My sense of humor is eclectic and varied. I’m sarcastic, pop culture-referential, punny, dad-jokey, absurdist, ironic, and good at callbacks.
- I am loyal, giving, kind, compassionate, an advocate for those I care about, passionate, assertive, and introspective. I have much love to give to others.
- I am seeking monogamy.
- I do not smoke, drink, or do drugs.
- I have a steady and secure job that I’m good at, but I’m also strongly antiwork and only work because oppressive systems force me to.
- A partner. In every sense of the word. I want communication. Compassion. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Authenticity. The ability to be vulnerable.
- Someone who is trauma-informed or willing to learn, or who has at least some experience in therapy and is invested in their own, and others’, mental health.
- Someone mature and serious about being in a relationship. No games, no stringing along, no flings or one-night stands. I want someone who is ready to love and be loved. And be single and available, that should go without saying. If you’re seeing someone and reading this and thinking “I should talk to this guy too” just don’t. Just. Don’t.
- It would help a lot if you’re into some kind of nerdy stuff or fandoms. Doesn’t have to be mine, but just being part of the culture is great. I’d love to be able to share TV shows and movies and hobbies, though.
- Someone who is comfortable being a homebody, who doesn’t need constant stimulation or to be around people to feel good. Someone who values quiet and calm and reflection. Not looking for a hiking or camping buddy, but am looking for a “snuggle in bed and watch TV every night” buddy.
- Dog-lovers are an extremely big plus. I have two.
- Don’t smoke. Dealbreaker. Drinking in moderation is okay. Not a fan of the funny rope but if you do it in moderation I can tolerate it.
- You’re not avoidant. I spent 10 years being the pursuer to my ex’s distancer. Done doing that. Show up for me, and I will show up for you, every time.
- Be confident in who you are. Say what you mean. Go for what you want.
- Honesty.
- Be fat-positive and sex-positive. Kink-friendly a plus.
- Be some form of left-leaning politically.
- Actually be into fat guys, not just tolerant of them.
- Be fat yourself. Thick, rubenesque, curvy, whatever you want to call it. I love big girls, especially those with big booties.
- Don’t know why but southern accents in girls are a huge turn-on.
- I enjoy a red-headed lass.
- Glasses are sexy.
- Sex is important to me, but not the only thing I’m looking for. I’m open to people who are some flavor of ace, potentially.
- If you engage in a creative outlet of any kind, be it art, music, writing, or whatever, that’s a nice plus.
- If you’re not judgmental about picky eaters, that’s a huge W. In fact, non-judgmental overall is a big one.
2023.03.27 21:07 ByFstugan Random Farm TD - Advanced guide to perfect game (and selling fished items)
 | submitted by ByFstugan to warcraft3 [link] [comments] The farms on map and their positions/colors in lobby Introduction This will be my second post about the Random Farm TD map, the first one can be found here: https://www.reddit.com/warcraft3/comments/fqk6rp/random_farm_td_information_and_tips/ That post was about the map in general, the basics and some tips for how to win the map.This post will be the advanced addition to that post, so if you already know most that is worth knowing about the map this will be the post for you. In this post I will focus on two things:
The strategy to get 21 missions game In order to pull of the 21 missions game I think I worked out a close to optimal way to do it, and that said - on extreme (or any level) it's still not an easy thing to do. I'm today at 30+ successful attemts, but this is my only challenge left with this map, so it's what I do. But since I find it fun time after time I'd like to share my tactics. There is a reason for most things I do, and you might need to read several sections through some times to get why I do some things in others - but if you're intresting in doing a "Perfect game" on -extreme I think it will benefit you well to read through all before you decide if you take same path or adjust it to your liking. Fishing close to Town Hall (TH in short), saving items there for later (#1) First Actions First thing I do is load -extreme, my code and avatar and the zoom I want, nowdays I go with "-cam 200". Then I plant a 1500g tower in the middle island, and you always hope for an 8% Superior here ofc which will make your start secure and likelly benefit the first part of your game greatly. I found that starting with basic towers when doing "Edge" mission early is suicide far to often when not getting a couple 8% bonus towers, but with most 1500g towers you can survive fine (which also suits your path to Quick miracle). All items you later want to sell you can put in a big pile with no order since selling to Town Hall later they are all equal. Others you might want to save in other area/piles, either to use ASAP or to save in case of emergency. All Fishes and toys/signs kinda things go to the sell-pile directly, rest I mention here one by one: All the fished items, and some crops - Farm Upgrade Wisp: By far the best you can fish, unless you get a contract or an 8% Superior start tower this is likelly to be an extra tower ASAP (in order to get 1st mini-boss earlier) - Special Contract: Builds an Special (or 8% chance for Superior) tower, build ASAP (to secure leak and also to get 1st mini-boss earlier) - Wet wood: In general I sell this as the fishes/crap instead of using, but some games that I don't get fish mission early (before r8-9) I might use and hope for AT LEAST +200 wood - Gold box: Even this I save usally to sell with fishes/crap, but some game when needed I might cash in early - Crop seeds: Almost always sell these also with fish/crap to Town hall later, since at best you get 200-400 coins for this if you plant it, but can get 1-2k+ for it if you sell it to Town Hall as one of the last sell. Remember, any of those items you sell to TH instead of using early is the last sell you get (the extras). - Book of Miracles: I'd say always save, this is in the end one of the most important perks when going for 21 mission (but can also be important to get a good tower to sell fish items with) https://preview.redd.it/0n0356upxbqa1.jpg?width=906&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4bf6a3941f0f3643d48fd81b64f3a3c3109a211c (#2) Living on the Edge and starting tower When you've done all or most fishing your next goal is to stop your tower from attacking so you leak 17 enemies and goes down to 3 lifes left to get that extra +500 wood so you can start your "Picky Farmer" mission. In first round that's when you got 263 gold left when you play -extreme, which is the only difficulty this post reason from. Line of Special towers To survive without leak and death now can be a challenge with some towers, so here I need to go through the alternatives and say something of them, starting with the strongest option going down. Guardian: This is by far the worst tower to start with since it's attack is very weak and pretty slow. It can only hold you through r1 then it starts to need two shots to kill and will leak more and more. As I see it you can't survive with this at all, so you must be lucky with fishing contracts or wisp. If unlucky you got one more chance, it's to sell and rebuild tower in beginning of r2 and hope for a Giant or better (Cow/Obelisk CAN work, but you might have to get lucky with 8% and use same tactic as I will talk about there a few lines below). Worse than that means certain death and you must restart another game (which I've done ALOT :p). Catapult: I used to value this as bad as the Guardian, but it accually is far better, though still second worst - especially since it DEMANDS you are very active in using it perfectly to not leak. The trick here is to always attack ground with it (r1 you can do with no extra towers, even more since you aim to leak 17 lifes). This is done so you attack them in first turn when they enter map first, but as soon as they have passed first island and the ones coming from north start to cross same path as those going right you move your attack ground so you hit as many as possible at same time. Do this until all are hit at least once. Then you must start to aim at those that are closest to end until all is dead. From r2 you'll start do the same as I just said and add the same thing about basic towers as I will mention about Cow/Obelisk towers next. You can always take a chance to sell/rebuild a Catapult also, but as with the Guardian above it might be a certain death if unlucky. Cow & Obelisk: This towers are good ones in many ways, but alone they are just strong enough to take you passed r2, then they start to need an extra shot to kill enemies and can not keep up with rounds (Cow kills in 2 shots from start and Obelisk 1, from r3 this isn't enough). Then you MUST add more towers on the bottom islands AND aim on the top half of map to hurt them with full damage as much as possible and not do killshots up there, but let the weaker towers do that in the bottom half. I start with doing a tower in middle of each island, then add towers as much I can when needed. Always try to hit, the more HP-enemies that are furthest forward in the maze first. You will have to see some full HP run pass without having time to hurt them, then take them asap you can when they pass next time. This goes on until you can get another 1500g tower in middle, then you're safe until r5 perk comes up. - Mountain Giant: This I value to mostly take you to r3 with no leak, but it very much depends on triggers since it's special attack is VERY strong vs crouds for a Special, and it's ordinary attack is pretty weak. You might need to aim or add basic towers on bottom islands from r3. - Goblin Blaster: Clearly the second strongest tower for rounds and can take you with no leak to r4 if it triggers in not only almost dead enemies. You might need to aim some on r3-4, and it's pretty hard due to it's silly short range, but it's possible. Try avoiding letting full health enemies pass under it since it will be much harder killing them on the north exit run if they are not damaged already. - Owl: This is clearly the strongest tower to start with of the Specials and it can alone take you all the way to r5, at least if it triggers about 4 times or so and get some decent kills on it. The challenge with this tower is to not kill more than you want r1 so you can leak for Edge mission, but if you do that I'd advise you hold fire or the right number of enemies r2 and try kill those behind them, and then be careful when the ones you want to leak passes middle. If doing this right you get time to plant crops for "Picky Farmer" r2 as intended (just make sure you don't kill all others before you planted). Line of Superior towers If you're lucky enough to get an 8% Superior tower there are some things you might need to know about them, especially so you don't boss-kill yourself early game. No Superior but one can take the first mini-boss alone on -extreme. I mention them from worst to best here, which also is of importance in later sections below (like round 5 perk choice). Chimera: By far worst Superior that generally is very bad for both rounds and especially bosses, this is due to it's very short range (450) and slow rate of fire. Hope to get an extra Special ASAP. Juggernought: Almost as bad as the Chimera, but better range (700), but also a hazard to rounds. Even more since it can trigger and stuck enemies upon eachoter so you can't snipe them if a cluster of them move north to the exit. Goblin Factory: Generally a very weak tower, especially to bosses, so not a big help on r10 later (where most 2x Specials are stronger than this one). However, very early rounds it's insanelly strong when it's alone vs weak enemies, if you get a 8% start with this r1 you'll likelly see what I mean - they often kill enemies at the entrance even so they don't even get into map before dying (not the first one from a round though, but when the tinkers start to pop out in masses). Pig: From here and up the Superiors are very good both for rounds and bosses, and the pig has both decent range (600), firerate and damage to do alot on rounds even if it doesn't trigger it's ability. Couatl: This is an amazing and rather insane tower in many ways, especially to rounds. But it has a pretty short range (600) and without a naga-kind of slow it doesn't do much damage to bosses, hence opposite to what one might believe it doesn't kill the 1st boss alone (at least not if not trigger alot). Magic Castle: This is a VERY good tower to start with of many reasons. It has decent damage, and firerate and range (600), and later on it will boost all other towers close to it with 12% extra firerate. The better part though is that it's a mission to sell them, and if you want you can when you got 750 coins in the bank sell it, get +500 wood, and build 2x new Special towers and still maintain close to same damage output as you had (the cost though is 750 gold ofc). I used to concider this the best start tower if getting an 8% start - but I reconcidered since it has NO chance of killing the 1st mini-boss alone. Sentinel: Is BY FAR the most potent single Superior tower to have. It has good damage, decent firerate and a very good range (900) it can all by itself kill first boss as well as all rounds up to round 6, after that it starts to need one extra shot per kill. Due to this you can ASAP start to kill the 1st mini-boss for +200 extra wood asap the first cooldown is ready, and also have a GREAT addition to the r10 boss later on. (#3) Farm/Fish-missions and friendly gamestyle If r1 goes as it should you have got +500 wood from Edge mission and +200 wood from King of Fishing mission, and then you start r2 with 900 wood and can do the whole picky farmer quests instantly r2 so you get your first crops to sell r3 (if prices are good). I'd advise to put those you can't sell r3 on ground so you get two stacks of 3 each instead of one stack with 6 of each crop unsold. You must be ready to sell at prices around 50% (75g) early rounds if you had bad luck with towers, at least as long as it helps you build next 1500g tower that is, or can do extra basics if you got Cow/Obelisk/Catapult start. The Large Farm you do when you got 1800 wood unless you got about 60 seconds or less (maybe a bit more also) left on the 1st boss, then you start the round you get 1600 wood. If close to 60 seconds you might need to stall the round you're at if doing with 1600 wood in the bank so you for sure both can kill 1st boss and plant the extra crop from it following round. When I do the Large Farm I always build 12 crops first round and the rest the following, this is to get a smaller pile that I can sell if there is an emergency need r10 (so you don't want to sell to much then). This number also make you raise a crop level (+5g/crop) since you did 3 with "picky". You can optimize this per game also if you want ofc, just make sure to have enough to be able to build one extra tower even if really bad price - we avoid death. About the King of Fishing mission the time you recive your last bait is beginning of r16 - which means that if you don't got the mission when you fished with that -> then Leave game and restart :) BUT if you play with friends, continue read first, there MIGHT be a sollution, but you start work on that asap and not r16. There are areas you can give stuff to eachother if you are side by side on map When it concerns the fishing mission, if you don't get it on the first 15 baits you get r1 and you play with a friend you can help eachother with this. The thing is that if I fish with my friends bait and get the fish I'm missing, the mission is finished, I get the mission/+wood - and that sticks even if I give back the fish to him. The important thing here is that you trust eachother and that you're side by side on the map (see top image, the numbers are positions/colors in lobby). I often do this help with fish mission when playing with my friends and we have some rules for it that I think is good. First of we ALWAYS give back ALL we get with the other guys fish (stuff fished with friends baits are his, plain and simple), even and especially if it's a farm upgrade or special contract. So to avoid mistakes or confusion we ALWAYS fish our own baits first, then empty our inventory on builder from fish items BEFORE we take friends bait to our inventory even. We don't fish in the close end of a map to avoid getting own baits from next round to possible stack with friends baits. When I'm talking about friendly games I can add that since we like to play together we often restart if the other dies, even post r10 in our case - but even more we don't hesitate to give eachother even Farm Upgrades or Special contract to help our friend stay in game if we got a solid start ourself and can help ofc, which isn't always the case. But if we do give such valuabe fish items we always trade vs an fished-item (at least, more are reasonable), so later on he get back likelly 2k+ and don't loose on it in the end (a special contract is only worth 1500c, early game it can be life or death important, later even a crap-penguin is worth more mostly). The choose perk area in late game on image (#4) Round 5 perk pick This one is pretty simple. You always go for tower unless you had a Special contracts or Farm Upgrade wisp from fishing. This is to be able to start getting extra wood from the mini-bosses ASAP in order to be able to plant the Large Farm before r10, and as long as you get the fish mission you can always do that. If you had an extra tower (or started with an 8% Superior that's pig or better) you always go Crop prices here, otherwise you must (or REALLY should) concider taking tower here. The main importance is to survive r10 boss (which we can't leak due to Edge) so you can get 1st miracle ASAP and start earn your REAL money on selling fish items. When you understood this you realize that pushing crop-prices is FAR less important than it used to be. I usally just take that twice depending on tower I get - and with that I mean sometimes only once, not more than twice ever. All the following wisps you should save in the "Choose perk" area and pick randomizers later on as you need them to get miracle missions. If you had all of them take up to 3 damage upgrade (max) and after that anything but Crop prices (worthless late game). (#5) First mini-boss This is to be done asap, and I have not really specified what's needed to kill it except mentioning the Sentinels unique ability to kill it all by itself - in contrast to every other tower you can get from start. So - if you DON'T get that one the rule of thumb is still that the 1st boss shall be done ASAP (and after that as often you can, in or between rounds), but in general can't be done until the r5 perk is chosen unless you fish Special contracts or Farm Upgrade wisps. What you need is at least 3 Special towers in general (unless you got the Cow+Guardian combo which might do this if you're not disturbed by rounds enemies, add basics bottom islands if needed). (#6) Survival of r10 boss What you need here is often 4 decent Special towers, Guardians helps very much on bosses (when they are alone), Obelisks are also good and so is Cows. The bad towers are Owls, Goblin Blasters and Catapults, but if you got 350g+ you can take a chance and sell/rebuild them. Giants are not good either, especially if not triggering, but nothing you should sell/rebuild. As a general rule one need not to be afraid to sell and rebuild towers, the loss of 350g isn't that much. An important thing when handling all kinds of bosses (also to evaluate if you can take on bigger ones) is that you check how many HP you take from him first pass, like the Crab got 10k HP so you must take more than 25% from him (2500HP+) or else you'll leak and die, so you must upgrade damage or panic-sell crops if you got to fix this with an extra tower. When r10 boss is killed you always go Crop prices and it's after this you sell all or most of your harvests from the Large Farm - when price is good enough that is. You can not be to greedy with this, though you can sell as little as needed to build an extra tower at a time if possible ofc, but before r14 is over you must have a miracle, and that is even if you have to sell at absolute lowest price there can be. Hence selling for anything from 50% and up is to count as acceptable - if you get a good sell tower you'll make up for all coins lossed and more. (#7) Get the r14 miracle Even if the mission describes this with r15 mentioned it's BEFORE all enemies are dead in r14 that's the line in the sand here. As said in last section up to r14 is the time you got on you to sell the harvest from the Large Farm (and all else you got until here that's not sold). Here one does EVERYTHING to make sure this goal of getting a miracle is done, and that might mean you got to sell and rebuild towers to get something you can merge, or sell Superiors that don't match in hope that next one you get will. To my experience you mostly can make this, but not always. If no miracle when the bell for r15 starts then Leave game and restart :) This is all towers you need to understand for selling fished items (#8) Choosing to keep or randomize 1st miracle When you've got your first miracle it will be a question if you should keep it or randomize it. The choice to give a start-randomizer I think is brilliant, and hopefully you'll don't need more than that one to get a tower to sell with.***I will first talk a bit about towers efficiency with this, and after this explain how the selling mechanism works.***In the picture above you can see different icons that I made on top of each miracle that indicates how good they are for selling and some other important information that we talk more about in next section. In order for my 21 mission perfect game strat to have bigger chance for success an important part is to get a good tower for selling; and if you CAN'T get a good miracle for that next move would be to either pick another randomizer (real boring if you get no good then either, otherwise it's a good pick) - but last and always a very good option is to go for getting a Couatl (if doing that you sell all Superiors that isn't that one until you got it). To loose some gold on this is no problem, it's part of the strategy, in the end you earn much more. In order for you to know more exactly how good the different towers can be I will show you the numbers and notes I got so far, this numbers are mine and my friend WastedFashy's and there is MANY games played with results not written up here also, but the best ones is always noted: Alot of stats and info about selling-towers, click to enlarge As you can see on the excel image above the towers are in order of best sell result top, and only the towers that's worth selling with is in this list. In order to get fast and effective selling both the row "Chance" and the row "Speed" should be high/fast. The "Note" row can be important if it says something, as well as the last row "Wait4damage?" that tells you if the Spell you sell with when it triggers needs to do damage in itself or not. Before that there is "Visuals, old graphic" which describes how the triggers looks, since myself and many with me for example took pretty long to spot how the Hellfire Altar looked for example. In general the best tower to sell with is Couatl since it fire so silly fast and trigger so often, and also pay very good. Malfurion and Arthas has higher top records, but you will often sell with them and get less than you almost always get from Couatl that's very reliable in it's payouts. This is the tower you want to get if miracle you got (even after randomized) isn't functional to sell with. One have to be careful with conflicting triggers, but as long as you sell ASAP the Couatl trigger you're mostly fine (if you listen to my other rules about this). We have a friend (Gonah) that had 196k with Hellfire Altar, so I just await the day someone break the magic 200k there, Prison Wagon can do a bit more than half that and is by that FAR the second best tower to sell with if you want to be rich. But as said, both fire slow and especially the Altar is risky and you risk dying if not making a sweep-island backup soon enough. Couatl and Pierce Miracles: If you get Malfurion, World Tree or Ice Crown (all pierce) then you should really hope (or try) to get a Couatl also. With Malfurion you're fine and can survive easy anyhow, but to speed up the selling time (and not change the cash much at all) it would be an appriciated addition. If you get Ice Crown you can easy survive with it, and sell, but the payout is low, so getting a Couatl is REALLY something you want to get more gold (and if you do, don't sell when Ice crown spell rains). If you get World Tree you can pretty much not survive with that alone and getting a Couatl and/or other Sweep-island-towers is a must for survival. This is the reason I got no record with that, but I'd assume it's below 20k so if you got it and Couatl you'd likelly as with the Ice Crown sell only with the Couatl. In short you can see the mechanism for selling fished items in this image (#9) Selling Fished items - the mechanism I guess you heard others (and me) say that you should sell r36 and after, but that was said due to lack of better knowledge. Now we know the mechanism to this, and I thank Dvergur that tought me this one. The first secret, the yellow 1, is the Spell ability ("Proc") - but that is IF it got a damage in NUMBERS, as Arthas has 500 above (generally more damage = more coins). The Doom guard for example that doubles it's damage doesn't work at all thought it's 100% damage of it's regular damage (which is in numbers), but it's their SPELL (let's call it that) that must do this damage (in numbers). The regular damage of tower (1971 for Arthas) is crossed over since it's of no matter in this equation. A second "rule", the red 2, (with exceptions) is that the SPELL must have a 30% damage increase per upgrade of the damage type of the tower, which is the reason the red #2 above is both circle the line that talks about this damage increase on the SPELL per damage upgrade, and that it's with lined arrows show how we see what damage type that's relevant for this tower, and where you do the upgrade. \The two exceptions:*- Couatl: Don't got the information about damage upgraded on SPELL per level, but still does increase sell price when upgrading, so it works though it lacks this text. - Avatar of Vengance: Has the 30% increase text, but still the price don't improve, or else the damage on the SPELL is so low it never amounts to any numbers anyhow. That's why this has two red triangles on the image a bit up. This is how Daemon gate SPELL looks, Malfurion has same animation The third rule, the purple 3, you sell (IMPORTANT: TO TOWN HALL!!!) when the tower spell TRIGGER, and in general you get one sell per trigger. Some towers like Alchemist and Ice Crown that has effect that goes in waves can sell more than once, not sure about the limit, but if the damage animation has stopped don't sell more if you already sold. HOWEVER, if you see an animation (and not the 5th thing I'll say below comes into play) you can sell plenty time after the trigger, even after the bell for next round if you didn't before. Important to now something that clearly applies to some towers (maybe all), and it's that the SPELL must do damage in itself. So for example Daemon gate shown above (Malfurion got same, with same rules to it), it has it's regular damage, and when the spell triggers it's FOLLOWED by a green wave of hurt for enemies in it's path (but, as said, the regular attack comes first). BUT then if the regular shot first completelly kills the enemy and no others are around and the green wave SPELL just goes through thin air without hitting anything the payout will be 0g. Some towers seem to ALWAYS manage to do damage with their SPELLS and work 100% as far as I know, but others you must be observant on if their SPELL does damage in itself. Another thing is that multiple target spells seems to add more coins to the payout, which is the reason that Hellfire Altar is by FAR the best tower to sell with when it comes to bring in ALOT of gold - though it only has 1500 damage on it's spell and Prison Wagon that's clearly second best has 3000 (but is single target damage), the altar can give 10k+ per sell while the Wagon just gets pass 5k, so the Altar can give almost twice as much gold in the end. Both towers sell SLOW though due to only 5% trigger chance, and the Altar has also the slowest firerate in game which gives those 5% much less times than others per minute - and due to that leaks very easy. The fourth and last thing, the green 4 on Town Hall, is the damage upgrade that you'll notice increase the payout for fished items the more you get. Since it cost 24'200 gold to get the damage upgraded to max you MUST start upgrading long before you get even close to max, and then sell and upgrade back and forth, always upgrade ASAP and don't do sell after sell without checking if you can do another upgrade first. I guess there is a logic to it that you get more coins for selling to the Town Hall when it's there you do the upgrades, but Dvergur who taught me this has looked in the code and is convinced on that it's unintended that this works. I however think it add a nice dimension to this map so I'm glad it does, intended or not. That's it about how to sell - but that's not all you need to know, there's also a fifth thing to concider. This is VERY important to know when selling fished items The fifth thing is almost as important to know as the above since this can make or break the whole attempt. If your sell-tower trigger you can sell as said, and get rewarded if you got a functional tower and damage upgraded (if no upgrade it's 0x the money = 0g). But what also can give you 0g is if you have other towers with TRIGGER spells, and they trigger after your towers trigger and BEFORE you got time to sell => 0g. Biggest enemies here are Owl, Blaster and Giant, but also Chimera, Pig and Juggernought (and I think even Sentinel). The Juggernought is also an enemy to selling, but has only 5% chance to trigger and slow firerate, so it's not as dangerous, but for sure I'd sell it fast and use coins for upgrade (it's still a BAD tower in general, especially on rounds). The Goblin Factory I always keep (unless it's one of them games I already got Modern Times), this is both since Mission greed and that it's ability ONLY TRIGGERS IF it kills anything, and the further the games goes on, the less this tower kills since it has low damage output. Example of a pretty optimal sweep-island (notice Guardian in middle also for bosses) The sixth thing you ALSO need to now, not in order to sell, but in order to survive while selling is that you might need to add towers when/if you get close to leaking. Then the five towers above that's in blue hexagons are save to fill out with since they have no spells that trigger, it's passive or non-existent. There are some pointers to think about here, one is already mentioned - we DON'T HESITATE to sell towers and loose 350g over and over, just one ruined sell can compensate for about 5 such sell/rebuilds in general. 1) First off you want to have as many hits as possible with your sell towers, hence you don't want other towers with damage kill enemies early, so do most extra towers on bottom left island to sweep up all that might leak if you don't got these extra towers. 2) You also want to do all upgrades if possible before spending gold on extra towers.\An exception can be to try to get an Obelisk (or Magic Castle) south of middle to increase rate of fire on your sell towers to get more shots per minute (=more times chance for triggers). Besides that I always like to get a Guardian in middle when maxed damage which makes INSANE different if you want to be able to take 3rd mini-boss as early as possible. A cow in middle or close to it (or below middle as with Obelisk/Magic Castle) is never wrong. Upgrading Chaos/Pierce/Magic once or twice doesn't hurt and cost little.* 3) When you fill out with extra towers and they are in range of enemies even on the top side of map I have a habit of doing a keybind to all towers EXCEPT the one I'm selling with, and then I stop them from attacking until I see a trigger, then fast select my builder and put an item to sell in Town hall, then switch back to the keybind with all towers I don't want to attack and stop them again. As soon as to many enemies (if a bit to weak) gets to close to the end of map I let them fire freely though of course. Some towers can easy kill whole rounds alone pretty far, while others are more bad at it. Starting basic and up missions, plan and execution A modified version of my own notes of the missions and the order to do them When you've got your first miracle BEFORE r15, and the fishmission is done, and so is the Edge mission of course - and finally the selling of all fished items is done, THEN the building of basic towers start; and this can be just about anytime around r20 to r30+ somewhere, best is if it's not to late, but is it later it's likelly due to you having one of the best paying towers hence you will have INSANE amounts of gold when start building, which makes things easier that way. My plan is pretty much laid out in the image above that lists the missions in numerical order (to the left) and the order I roughly aim to do them to the right. You often get some missions in another order, but if so it's just a bonus and nothing that can change the layout I've made. This is how my map can look short after I've sold all fished items, and this was with a 100k+ run from fished items with the Prison Wagon so it's pretty silly much resourses I've had here: A Prison Wagon sell with 100k+ gold from fished items The "sweep-island" (that sweeps up possible escapers/leakers) bottom left. I built a bunch of towers in and around middle before building basics (was very rich). Bottom islands and outside border area I use for basic-rare build/merging. I continue with this until I got all missions up to Rare level done, then I merge and sell all and the outside becomes after that empty again (except for chicken, sheep and wind rider if needed still, Naga usally done here). A good tactic when merging all basics, normals especially is that you doubleclick a tower and then just hold down the "Merge" hotkey until all towers are merged of that kind (save 2 if even number and it's a Murloc as here; that's if no Naga mission): Multi-merge with \"S\" (my hotkeys) here, just hold. Then doubleclick next kind and \"S\". When you're done with the "up-to-rare" missions and merge all and sold rest you start with Special-superior missions until that's done; and here is my tip with this that you even here do a "sweep-island" bottom right to get as much time as possible on r40 with final boss if you still are hunting missions then, this is important to think about at this stage since if you do get miracle it's where you had Special that became Superiors, that later got merged to Miracle, and when that's done you can't move them. So where you merge TO when going up next level after Superior is pretty important. It's still fine/good to have a bunch of towers around/close to middle. Can look like this: Going for Superior-based missions, with sweep-island planned bootom left Then last you go for the miracle missions and use all the wisps you need for randomizers, and if you're REALLY lucky you can get all 21. Think about how you merge here. Start with towers you know suck and has no slow, and if you get towers with same damage type as the one you maxed you let them stand and randomize something else instead. When you have got a miracle mission you don't need to keep them, so for example if you don't have Siege upgraded you can merge away Alchemist since he has very bad damage, especially late rounds and even more to final boss. This is an example of how a finished game can look with a sweep-island bottom left, some boosting Magic Castle and Obelisks, and a cow for slow, almost all others are Miracles, some just max upgraded damage: Perfect game, 21 mission on extreme, me and WastedFashy both here |
2023.03.27 16:45 Money-Diary-Alt I’m a lifestyle reporter in my early 20s living in the Midwest, make $64,050 and this week, I asked for a 30% raise
(edited to add some fit pics because I love my clothes and am very active on femalefashionadvice anyway! now editing to add CAT TAX so the first photo on mobile isn't my legs. These are my darling children fighting each other. Okay continue!)
Hi! My job is pretty public so I’ve left out a lot of detail for privacy reasons, but happy to answer all q’s in the comments. All $$ and main points are accurate.
TLDR: I ask for a raise, play Dungeons and Dragons, dress as if it's not 25 degrees outside, spend too much money on stupid things, buy drinks I don't remember, go to a flower conservatory and speculate if my therapist is my neighbor.
Equity: My car is probably worth around $6,000 now.
Savings account balance: ~$15,000. $10k is in a “never touch” long term account and $5k is in a separate account divided into “buckets” for short-term things like travel, major home purchases and small emergencies.
Checking account balance: $1,100, but I only use my credit card (currently at $300 as of the beginning of this diary).
Student loan debt: None. I was in a bad accident when I was less than a year old; my parents invested the settlement wisely and it paid for 3 years of a state college. I worked my ass off to graduate in that time frame.
JSYK: $60k is an amazing salary in journalism and I recognize how lucky I am!
Main job monthly take home: $3,600 after tax and retirement contributions. I am still on my parent’s insurance plans but do not receive any financial assistance otherwise.
Utilities: $30ish for electric, $60 for wifi. Everything else is paid by the landlord.
Retirement contributions: An additional $100 a month on top of the 8% to a separate fund.
Savings contributions: This varies. I currently contribute $250 a month to my long-term savings and lately around $100-$200 to short-term.
Subscriptions: $4 for New York Times, $16 for Hulu (for family), $2 to Jenny Nicholson’s Patreon, $11 for Peacock, $1 for my phone call recording app. Everything else shared among friends and fam.
Cell phone/health insurance/car insurance/payments: Covered by parents until I’m 26. I worked three jobs simultaneously for most of college and bought my car outright when I graduated.
Pet expenses: $60 a month for fancy food, those spoiled fucks.
Mental health: Right now, around $300/month, but this will go up soon.
I have several mental health disorders, including bipolar disorder, an anxiety disorder and ADHD. I’ve seen a therapist for two years (now down to two sessions a month, $85 per session), a psychiatrist for medication check-ins ($75 per session, 1 session/month), and currently take five prescribed medications.
The price of four of my medications, combined, is $65 for a 30-day supply. But I discovered my life-changer medication after 6 years of experimenting, only to realize it doesn’t have a generic version. I managed to get a 90 day supply for cheap ($245) since we hit our deductible in late December, but when I run out March 31, it will be $400 a month. I try not to think about it.
My pharmacists and I are on a first-name basis and they’ve signed me up for every program under the sun, but other than the savings card (which knocks a whole $30 off), I don’t qualify for anything. It should go generic by early next year, so I’ve been saving extra to hopefully get me through it by then.
8:30am: Get ready while eating a microwaved breakfast sandwich. I did my hair Saturday night, so I just curl it and put on my regular face. (brows, eyeliner, mascara, concealer, foundation, blush, lipstick, setting spray.) Takes about 20 minutes; I dress in jeans and a chunky orange sweater with matching earrings and lipstick.
9:00am: I begin rehearsing for my noon meeting about salary!
To make a very long story short for privacy reasons, I’ve been doing the work of three people for almost a year as people quit/they freeze hiring. I recently discovered people are currently being hired for my same position, with much less responsibility, at over $100,000. I’d been debating asking for a reevaluation for months, but this kicked my ass into gear. I requested a meeting with my direct superior today and plan to ask for $85-$90k. Shoot for the stars, I guess.
11:45am: I’ve done some work today, but have mostly been walking around the house practicing my talking points. Text my boyfriend H. for encouragement and he delivers.
12:40pm: Talk to my superior. I wasn’t expecting to say this, but I think I actually have a great shot at a big raise. My editor seemed to agree completely and said they’ll bring it to their superior tomorrow. I text my friends, H and my dad about it.
3:30pm: Mondays and Tuesdays are typically my lightest days at work, and today was thankfully no exception. File and edit my story, then decide to go out and get some photos for an upcoming story and footage for an Instagram reel (I also started and run all of our social media accounts, solo, which includes 2-3 posts a day and additional reels).
5:30pm: I get the videos, make and post an Instagram reel, sit in my car, start thinking about being perceived by so many strangers and freak out a little bit.
6:00pm: H texts me he’s going for a ride!! Long story short, he had cancer last year and hasn’t been able to ride his motorcycle since September. I get all excited with him and happy cry in my car for a little, thankful that he’s cancer free.
7:00pm: I stayed out working way longer than I meant to! Home now. I do laundry and curse whoever let me live on the top floor of a building that only has laundry in the basement. I climbed 25 flights of stairs today.
8:00pm: Almost pass out during one of the stair climbs again and force myself to eat leftover pasta with meat sauce. I started a new medication that entirely eliminates my appetite, and I keep letting myself nearly faint before I’ll sit to eat. I’m trying to eat better, but I am allowing myself to temporarily eat anything because at least I’m consuming food. I’m working on it.
9:30pm: I practice piano for an hour or so, then text R., my lifelong best friend/ex (even longer story) about a piano song I’m working on that’s inspired by our Dungeons and Dragons campaign they DM. I send them some voice memos of what I’ve got so far and they love it!
10:00pm: I start Poker Face while folding laundry. Natasha Lyonne reminds me why I identify as queer.
11:30pm: Shower (with hair wash), make popcorn (air-popped for life), try to go to bed.
1:00am: Actually fall asleep.
Total: $0
8:00am: Give myself a blowout (I do this once every three days — takes about 30 minutes but then only needs touchups to look great!), do my face, eat a breakfast sandwich, dress in a sleeveless, mock-neck forest green shirt with matching earrings, vintage brown velvet high rise pants (they’re cooler than it sounds I swear) and rings. I’ve got a very forest nymph vibe right now. It’s 40 degrees outside, baby!
9:00am: Put on a city meeting to record it while starting the rest of my day. I’ve got a ton of my own meetings but this one is what my story will be based around, so I’m transcribing it on my phone as I work on my laptop.
10:00am: Meet with leadership about an early-career journalist initiative I’ve been pushing for at my company. They tell me they got approval and it will launch next month!!
12:00pm: That meeting my story was based around? Yeah, it JUST finished. I’ve written about half the piece already as it went and cram to get it done and edited before my next meeting.
1:30pm: Another meeting that could have been an email, but during it, I get a DM from a former professor of mine. I went mini viral on Twitter today and I guess it showed up on her timeline! She asks if I’ll speak at her class next month — a class that I took only three years ago. I try to get over my imposter syndrome and tell her I’d love to.
2:30pm: I finish up the rest of my assignments and start working ahead on tomorrow’s. I’m totally not comparing my editor’s G-cal with their bosses to see when that meeting about my pay might be happening.
3:30pm: Realize I feel faint and forgot to eat lunch, make ramen, read articles from competing outlets and brainstorm ideas for my story list.
4:30pm: Text H. about coming over, and he says yes! No word yet from my editor! I’m worried!
5:00pm: Well. I find out that the person on a team that worked closely with mine just quit after less than two weeks. I know he was getting paid 90k, and they’re trying to backfill his position immediately. I’m genuinely shocked and worry that this will negatively influence any raise I would have received. I destress by practicing piano.
6:00pm: H. comes over and we walk to the natural foods co-op near me. I’m typically an Aldi girl, but my dad raised me to splurge on the right things —like good meat, dairy products and bread. Plus, I love supporting local, it’s much easier to buy small amounts of food for just one person and I’ve barely been eating anything. If I buy good (and $$) food, it’s more likely I’ll actually consume something.
I buy two organic chicken breasts ($6) and a cup of shredded cheese ($2) from a farm upstate, plus two boxes of Annie’s mac ($2.50). I may be a 20-something in the Midwest writing a money diary, but I do not steal from the co-op. $10.57
6:30pm: I remember I ran out of good popcorn kernels and H. needs some other things, so H. and I walk to a bougie grocery store that carries it ($7). I also buy fancy rosemary olive oil bread ($6), tortillas ($2.50) and locally-made ice cream ($7). $22.73
7:00pm: H. and I make tacos and get high on my balcony. Love him so much.
8:00pm: We watch Brooklyn 99, I play him some new songs I’ve been working on (playing piano while high rocks), we have sex, scroll through Reddit together and cuddle my cats. Love him so much x100000.
11:00pm: H. heads home, I make popcorn (I bought a different kind this time and it’s bad! I’m sad!), try not to stress about work, stress about work, do my skincare routine (go to a dermatologist y’all, that prescription stuff will change your life) and practice piano again to try and get my stress out.
12:30am: Fall asleep.
Total:$33.30
8:45am: For the first time in a week, I actually sit down and eat a real breakfast (fancy cream cheese on the fancy bread). Feels good.
9:00am: I find out via another reporter that my scoop on a restaurant takeover was the way all the employees found out they got fired. Well, shit.
10:00am: Meet with my team first, then a 1-on-1 with my former boss/mentor. She hired and managed me for two years but was promoted a few months ago; We still have regular meetings to hang out and talk about my career.
I tell her about my raise ask without mentioning how big it was; she tells me she’s all in favor but to not expect much. I feel guilty asking for so much money, even though she doesn’t intend that. Without me asking, she drafts an email to the person who would decide the amount and tells me the subject line: “Why *** is transformational to.” She’s not exaggerating, and we both know it. I thank her profusely and have a little more hope.
11:00am: My recent stories and social posts are killing it; this is my best week this month. I breathe a sigh of relief that this is at least a good time for bosses to check in on my content.
12:00: Redo a coworker’s work. It’s not their fault — they were assigned a story in my coverage area despite not living here — but it’s a little frustrating.
1:00pm-3:00pm: Work, meetings, work, work. It’s been a boring day.
3:30pm: I get charged a day early for a goddamn subscription to Scribd. I had set a reminder to cancel for today, since it was supposed to charge me tomorrow. I cancel immediately but am too mentally drained to fight the charge. $12.87
4:30pm: My boss tells me they don’t know what to do about my raise and I need to talk to HR. Which makes no sense to me considering they are my boss, but I reach out anyway.
5:30pm: Pack up and head over to my friends’ house for Dungeons and Dragons. R. started running campaigns for me and a group of our friends when we were together — R. and I ended our romantic relationship a while ago, but we’re still the best of friends and our group has played together weekly for nearly four years. It’s the highlight of my week. One friend bought the Chinese food this time (A DND tradition) and I Venmo him my portion + a little extra for tip and gas. $13
7:30pm: It’s unhinged energy at the table tonight. We haven’t had the full group together in over a month and we’re at peak insanity. R. is all for it, thankfully — some Dungeon Masters get really strict about staying serious, but we go off on dumb side tangents and quests constantly. It’s way more fun.
8:00pm: For the first time in days, I’m actually really hungry. I ask if anyone wants to GoPuff some snacks and we get a bunch of junk food. They ask what I owe them but I tell them nothing; we’re the same age, but my friends are all students who also work side jobs. When I was working all my jobs in college, I swore to myself when I made enough money, I’d treat my friends to silly little things. $29.33
11:00pm: We finish early tonight! I make plans with R. to see a movie later in the week and head back home with the leftover junk food.
11:40pm: It took me thirty goddamn minutes to find a parking spot and walk back to my place. I hate it here. I spend the next half hour contemplating buying $300 patio chairs on Facebook marketplace. I moved into a new apartment three times the size of my old place fairly recently; I’ve been using it as an excuse to thrift a lot. I decide to hold off.
12:30am: Bedtime.
Total: $55.20
8:45am: Get ready, dress in a tan cashmere turtleneck, brown wide-legged pants, put on gold jewelry and my lucky gold & amber ring, and head out to a coffee shop to meet my team. Side note: All of my clothing is thrifted, I’m not making cashmere $$$. Yes, I always dress like this.
9:00am: Buy a coffee and chat with a coworker before we start. I can expense this, since we meet so rarely in person. The HR rep emails me back asking if we can meet this afternoon; I schedule the meeting for 2:30; immediately after my therapy session. My therapist will absolutely calm my nerves. ($7.48 with tip)
10:00am: One of my coworkers pulls me aside and asks if I asked for a raise based on an off-handed comment I made earlier. I tell them yes and feel a little embarrassed, but they tell me some things that happened at the company lately that give me a lot of hope. My coworker has a ton of pull at the company and we get along well; I think they’d be honest if I had no chance.
11:00am: My coworkers leave, but I order another coffee and do some more work for a bit. I’ll expense this too. ($6.28 with tip)
12:30pm: Head home, listen in on a company meeting and eat a granola bar so I don’t pass out. Submit my story.
1:30pm: Log on to my therapy session and she instantly helps. I give her my spiel as practice and she tells me I’m doubting myself by giving an $80-$90k range, then tells me I don’t have to be a perfect person to deserve a raise. I change my number to $85k on my notepad.
Side note, I’m convinced my therapist is A. my neighbor and B. reads my work in her personal life, but she just won’t tell me. I keep seeing someone that looks just like her on my block! I swear! This session is $83 but already noted in my monthly expenses. She deserves every penny.
2:20pm: My old manager texts me and says that my coworker from earlier just submitted a letter to everyone involved in my raise to tell them I deserve whatever I’m asking for. That coworker is hard to impress but very well-regarded throughout the company: this will mean a LOT. Manager adds that both of these letters mention I didn’t ask them to write it, which makes me feel better.
2:30pm: Raise talk time!!!!
2:50pm: I actually think that went well. I made all my points, including comparing how my job was 1 year ago versus now and showing off all my numbers. I’m about 10-20 years younger than almost every one of my colleagues, which has affected my pay at this company before. At the end I mention that I know I’m younger than most of my colleagues, but I believe in advocating for myself and the value I bring to the company, no matter my age. The HR rep is a woman and she seems genuinely touched; she tells me I absolutely should be asking for this much.
6:30pm: Between this morning’s team meeting, therapy and stressing over the raise, I barely got anything done, so I work late until H. comes over. I change into an oversized cream-colored silk button-down and short shorts to make it totally seem like I just lounge around looking hot. We’ve been dating on and off for 3 years, but I still try and impress him.
7:00pm: My maintenance guy installed a chain lock on my doors at my request; my downstairs neighbor has a stalker!!! Super fun and cool! H. and I realize that the chain is so long that he can reach through and unlock it himself, so we walk to the local hardware store to try and see if they’ll cut it a little shorter.
7:30pm: The employees try so hard to help me find a solution because they’re angels, but no luck. I buy a new lock to see if that chain might be shorter. $6.79
8:00pm: It is not.
8:30pm: H. and I eat leftover tacos, I do some more work after realizing more people put morning meetings on my calendar despite all my noon deadlines. We are bored as hell after I’m done, so we go through a random book of 4,000 questions I grabbed at a Little Free Library. We’re dorky but it’s a lot of fun.
10:30pm: H. leaves, I practice piano and go to sleep around midnight.
TOTAL: $6.79
8:00am: The editor in chief (!!!) sends me an email to say they booked me to speak at my alma mater without asking me. I’m terrified and pissed but too busy to think about it.
11:00am: Write about half of the stories I need to, hop into a meeting about the young professionals group I’m starting at the company, get into another meeting with two new managers I’m training in. During the meeting, I end up on the hook for another story per week (it was unavoidable); I’m already writing 6 and running social media. My workload was half that last year. I need that raise.
12:30pm: Force myself to eat leftover Chinese food so I don’t die. Stimulants are so weird. I wait for my stories to go through copy edits while getting ready for a press preview I have at 3.
2:00pm: Stories are all done!!!! Hurray! I change from my “I support the central time zone sphere drop” sweatshirt into a black turtleneck, short black skirt, tights, black boots and my favorite peridot earrings/necklace/ring combo, paired with a bright green coat. I love all black, but it’s springtime, baby!
2:30pm: I get an invite to the fanciest restaurant in the Twin Cities from its press person for a media dinner and kinda just stare at the email for a while. It’s very small but includes all the top lifestyle reporters; it would typically be $200/person. I am about 20 years younger than every other person who will be at that table; I never thought I’d be included in something like this. I say yes, of course.
3:00pm: Meet the PR person for a preview of a flower show! It’s gorgeous and will make such great Instagram content. I spend about an hour and a half creating a Reel as my phone crashes 3 separate times. I want to throw it out the window; this would typically only take me 30 minutes.
5:00pm: I’m frustrated and the work slack has been blowing up, but technically the workday is over so I go to a nearby thrift store. It’s such a good one and one of my secrets. I find another colorway of one of my favorite, just throw it on and you look cute and hot even though you’re lazy, sundresses and snap it up immediately. I also buy a long black and white sundress and a vintage 90s REVERSIBLE dress that is absolutely fantastic. It’s four sizes too big but will be very easy to alter. $20
6:15pm: Drive to Target to return some things ($10 back to me) and get general items; I buy garbage bags (why are they $10!!!), tissues, face powder, cereal, mixed vegetables, heavy whipping cream, grapes that turn out not to be seedless (wtf), and dirt to repot my plants. $36.70
7:15pm: Home! Make a vegan bacon sandwich (don’t judge) and H. picks me up so we can go to my fave dive bar — we NEVER go out so this was like pulling teeth, but he owes me. I find out my friends are also going out later tonight (a rarity) and tell him I’ll let him off the hook early if he drives me to that bar.
9:30pm: H. and I got two drinks each (it’s a dive bar, so each drink is $5) and he gets a burger and fries. He pays.
10:00pm: Meet R., our friend D., and a friend of R.’s that I don’t know. It’s an arcade bar in a cool neighborhood, so the place is packed. I buy a drink and bribe D. with a beer to drive me home later. $17 with tips
11:00pm: One of my besties, K., texts the girl group chat (the best ones!) that she just went on a 7-hour-long great date with her work crush, only for his GIRLFRIEND that he LIVES WITH to call him at the end of it. I tell her she should join us to get drunk and she calls an Uber immediately.
11:30pm: Buy a long island iced tea as K. fills my friends in. Everyone but D. is getting drunker than we have been in a while; I bum a cig. (As you do.) $11 with tip
1:00am: I do not remember buying this drink. $6.38
1:30am: I have not been this drunk in a long time but it’s very fun! D. is sober and drives each of us home; I find out in the morning that I made a mess of my kitchen drunkenly making mac and cheese.
Total: $91.08
12:00pm: Check my bank account to be sure I didn’t do too much damage and see I got my expenses reimbursed (around $300) + my tax return ($600)!!! An extra $900 out of nowhere!! Fuck yes!
1:00pm: Finally get up, eat and get ready. I shower, do my makeup, and spend 20 minutes quickly altering that reversible dress — it’s so 90s and reminds me of something Monica Geller would have worn in seasons 2-3 of Friends. It’s sleeveless and it’s 40 degrees outside, but it’s very long, deep red with slits on each side and gorgeous and I don’t care. I take in the waist and look hot, but like, classy. Pair with red lipstick, black boots and my black trench.
3:00pm: Get to one of my go-to coffee shops and chat with the owners a bit; I’m a regular + wrote about this place before they opened and they told me people came in because they saw my article! They offer me a free coffee but I pay anyway. Work on this money diary. $5.38
4:00pm: The one bad thing about this place is that it closes at 4. I drive to one of my go-to thrift stores; I chat with the employees when I go there and they told me to stop in today because they’re restocking some books I might be interested in. Hell yes I am. I buy 6 beautiful (and enormous) books filled with high-quality art prints, a frame for one of them, a small vase, a Ralph Lauren dress that will be perfect for my dinner this week and a cute tank. $22.46
5:30pm: Head back home and quickly eat another veggie bacon sandwich before leaving to go get R.; we made plans to see a movie tonight. I get a notification that the patio furniture I’d been eyeing for a month is half off (!!) and I can’t stop thinking about it…I did just get my tax return…
7:30pm: I buy our movie tickets, they buy the popcorn and drinks. It’s about even. This is why I don’t typically see movies at chain theaters, dammit. $29.33
9:30pm: That sure was…a movie. Yeah. We sit and yell about how dumb it was for a solid thirty minutes and I drive them back. Our other friends end up getting home at the same time, so I go inside and hang out with them.
10:30pm: I ask my friends if I should spend a lot of money. They say yes. Fuck it, I’m buying it. I finally have a patio (!!!!) and I’ve had no luck thrifting any. I get the two chairs and table set (it’s so cute and half off), an outdoor rug (so cute!!!) and some pillows/planters to match. I already have all the lights, plants, planters and vibes to fill out the rest of it. I’m so excited!!! This would typically come out of the designated savings bucket I have for home stuff (I love interior design), but I instead use the funds from my tax return. I’ll save that fund for my bedroom remodel. $390.01
11:30pm: Head home, text H. about our plans tonight and go to bed around 12:30am.
Total: $447.18
9:00am: H. picks me up and buys me coffee. I’m much less grumpy.
10:00am: Okay, this was worth getting up early for. It’s almost entirely empty and we get to sit in one of the few benches in the conservatory. I love flowers and sun and spring and hate Minnesota for taking it from me. H. and I sit and talk for over an hour; by the time we leave, it’s wall-to-wall people. We made the right choice.
11:30am: I’m looking for frames for some of those art prints, so I ask if we could go to the nearby thrift store (I know, I know). H. is all for it. We realize we’re right by the local surplus store, which is this insane place that has the most random things you never knew you needed for 45 cents. We go there first.
I buy five vintage piano books (!!!!), an airtight jar, 12 travel containers because mine all broke, a measuring tape, AM/PM pill container because I keep accidentally taking my sleeping pills at 7am, a camera lens container and a few other small things. Love this place. $27.51
1:30pm: Now we actually go to the thrift store. I get five frames, a cute skirt, and a new plant stand (cats broke mine). This place is nice, but pricey. $33.91
2:30pm: H. drops me off and I go straight into my traditional Sunday reset, aka my deep clean. I repot and water my plants, set up the plant stand, organize every room in my house, do all my laundry, wipe down all surfaces, vacuum, mop, cook dinner with enough for leftovers this week, etc. I love to clean and this takes my mind off the Sunday Scaries I’m suddenly getting.
4:30pm: My beloved plant I’ve had for three years has fungus gnats. I ask my neighbor if she has any neem oil and she happily lends me her stash. Yay for being friendly with neighbors!
5:30: I try to put my adorable old office chair on the curb. I look at it and realize I love it too much. Fuck the ergonomic Ikea one. I carried the old one down all those flights of stairs and carry it right back up. Ikea one goes into my closet for now; thankfully that closet is practically a third bedroom.
6:30pm: The pigeons that have been stalking my patio won’t leave me alone. They divebomb my head, I scream expletives, then my nice neighbor with the young kid politely asks me to keep it PG. I apologize profusely.
7:30pm: It’s 30 degrees but I don’t care. I drag my kitchen table chair out on the patio and work on this money diary.
7:45pm: Realize while writing this that I fucking got charged for Youtube TV, aka $59. The Oscars were not fucking worth that. I rage. Thankfully because it just happened, I get a refund. Thanks Google!
8:30pm: I journal, finish this diary, practice some new piano songs and go to bed around 10:30pm. Hopefully I’ll find out about my raise soon!
Total: $61.42 home
Fun: $29.33
Home + Health: $483.22
Clothes + Beauty: $31.46
Other: $12.87
TOTAL: $699.17
I’m hoping I can spend less on food in the future. I’ve dropped so much weight since starting this medication that I’ve allowed myself to do anything if I feel like I can eat, which leads to this! (Don’t worry, I’m meeting with my med doc this week.)
I will update this as soon as I find out about my raise, ha! I wrote this in real time.
Thanks for reading!
submitted by Money-Diary-Alt to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]
Hi! My job is pretty public so I’ve left out a lot of detail for privacy reasons, but happy to answer all q’s in the comments. All $$ and main points are accurate.
TLDR: I ask for a raise, play Dungeons and Dragons, dress as if it's not 25 degrees outside, spend too much money on stupid things, buy drinks I don't remember, go to a flower conservatory and speculate if my therapist is my neighbor.
ASSETS AND DEBT
Retirement balance: Around $10,000. I contribute 8% every paycheck.Equity: My car is probably worth around $6,000 now.
Savings account balance: ~$15,000. $10k is in a “never touch” long term account and $5k is in a separate account divided into “buckets” for short-term things like travel, major home purchases and small emergencies.
Checking account balance: $1,100, but I only use my credit card (currently at $300 as of the beginning of this diary).
Student loan debt: None. I was in a bad accident when I was less than a year old; my parents invested the settlement wisely and it paid for 3 years of a state college. I worked my ass off to graduate in that time frame.
INCOME
Income progression: I’ve been working in my field for almost 3 years. I started at a very small news outlet making $33,000, which is actually a great salary for a new grad in journalism, but it wasn’t stable. An editor took a chance on me and I landed my current job for what I thought, at the time, was a more than fair $60,000. I received a 5% raise last year, bringing me to my current salary.JSYK: $60k is an amazing salary in journalism and I recognize how lucky I am!
Main job monthly take home: $3,600 after tax and retirement contributions. I am still on my parent’s insurance plans but do not receive any financial assistance otherwise.
EXPENSES
Rent: $1,450 for a 2-bedroom in an amazing, very trendy neighborhood. I live alone and cannot emphasize what a steal this place is.Utilities: $30ish for electric, $60 for wifi. Everything else is paid by the landlord.
Retirement contributions: An additional $100 a month on top of the 8% to a separate fund.
Savings contributions: This varies. I currently contribute $250 a month to my long-term savings and lately around $100-$200 to short-term.
Subscriptions: $4 for New York Times, $16 for Hulu (for family), $2 to Jenny Nicholson’s Patreon, $11 for Peacock, $1 for my phone call recording app. Everything else shared among friends and fam.
Cell phone/health insurance/car insurance/payments: Covered by parents until I’m 26. I worked three jobs simultaneously for most of college and bought my car outright when I graduated.
Pet expenses: $60 a month for fancy food, those spoiled fucks.
Mental health: Right now, around $300/month, but this will go up soon.
I have several mental health disorders, including bipolar disorder, an anxiety disorder and ADHD. I’ve seen a therapist for two years (now down to two sessions a month, $85 per session), a psychiatrist for medication check-ins ($75 per session, 1 session/month), and currently take five prescribed medications.
The price of four of my medications, combined, is $65 for a 30-day supply. But I discovered my life-changer medication after 6 years of experimenting, only to realize it doesn’t have a generic version. I managed to get a 90 day supply for cheap ($245) since we hit our deductible in late December, but when I run out March 31, it will be $400 a month. I try not to think about it.
My pharmacists and I are on a first-name basis and they’ve signed me up for every program under the sun, but other than the savings card (which knocks a whole $30 off), I don’t qualify for anything. It should go generic by early next year, so I’ve been saving extra to hopefully get me through it by then.
On to the Money Diary...
Monday
8:00am: Wake up to actual sun! It’s been gloomy for what feels like forever here. Let the cats in (they’re banned from my room at night until they learn to stop stepping on my face while I sleep) and give them kisses on the forehead for being such good boys.8:30am: Get ready while eating a microwaved breakfast sandwich. I did my hair Saturday night, so I just curl it and put on my regular face. (brows, eyeliner, mascara, concealer, foundation, blush, lipstick, setting spray.) Takes about 20 minutes; I dress in jeans and a chunky orange sweater with matching earrings and lipstick.
9:00am: I begin rehearsing for my noon meeting about salary!
To make a very long story short for privacy reasons, I’ve been doing the work of three people for almost a year as people quit/they freeze hiring. I recently discovered people are currently being hired for my same position, with much less responsibility, at over $100,000. I’d been debating asking for a reevaluation for months, but this kicked my ass into gear. I requested a meeting with my direct superior today and plan to ask for $85-$90k. Shoot for the stars, I guess.
11:45am: I’ve done some work today, but have mostly been walking around the house practicing my talking points. Text my boyfriend H. for encouragement and he delivers.
12:40pm: Talk to my superior. I wasn’t expecting to say this, but I think I actually have a great shot at a big raise. My editor seemed to agree completely and said they’ll bring it to their superior tomorrow. I text my friends, H and my dad about it.
3:30pm: Mondays and Tuesdays are typically my lightest days at work, and today was thankfully no exception. File and edit my story, then decide to go out and get some photos for an upcoming story and footage for an Instagram reel (I also started and run all of our social media accounts, solo, which includes 2-3 posts a day and additional reels).
5:30pm: I get the videos, make and post an Instagram reel, sit in my car, start thinking about being perceived by so many strangers and freak out a little bit.
6:00pm: H texts me he’s going for a ride!! Long story short, he had cancer last year and hasn’t been able to ride his motorcycle since September. I get all excited with him and happy cry in my car for a little, thankful that he’s cancer free.
7:00pm: I stayed out working way longer than I meant to! Home now. I do laundry and curse whoever let me live on the top floor of a building that only has laundry in the basement. I climbed 25 flights of stairs today.
8:00pm: Almost pass out during one of the stair climbs again and force myself to eat leftover pasta with meat sauce. I started a new medication that entirely eliminates my appetite, and I keep letting myself nearly faint before I’ll sit to eat. I’m trying to eat better, but I am allowing myself to temporarily eat anything because at least I’m consuming food. I’m working on it.
9:30pm: I practice piano for an hour or so, then text R., my lifelong best friend/ex (even longer story) about a piano song I’m working on that’s inspired by our Dungeons and Dragons campaign they DM. I send them some voice memos of what I’ve got so far and they love it!
10:00pm: I start Poker Face while folding laundry. Natasha Lyonne reminds me why I identify as queer.
11:30pm: Shower (with hair wash), make popcorn (air-popped for life), try to go to bed.
1:00am: Actually fall asleep.
Total: $0
Tuesday
7:30am: I finally stop hitting the snooze button, hop into the shower to wet my hair, and run out of hot water within five minutes. I hate it here.8:00am: Give myself a blowout (I do this once every three days — takes about 30 minutes but then only needs touchups to look great!), do my face, eat a breakfast sandwich, dress in a sleeveless, mock-neck forest green shirt with matching earrings, vintage brown velvet high rise pants (they’re cooler than it sounds I swear) and rings. I’ve got a very forest nymph vibe right now. It’s 40 degrees outside, baby!
9:00am: Put on a city meeting to record it while starting the rest of my day. I’ve got a ton of my own meetings but this one is what my story will be based around, so I’m transcribing it on my phone as I work on my laptop.
10:00am: Meet with leadership about an early-career journalist initiative I’ve been pushing for at my company. They tell me they got approval and it will launch next month!!
12:00pm: That meeting my story was based around? Yeah, it JUST finished. I’ve written about half the piece already as it went and cram to get it done and edited before my next meeting.
1:30pm: Another meeting that could have been an email, but during it, I get a DM from a former professor of mine. I went mini viral on Twitter today and I guess it showed up on her timeline! She asks if I’ll speak at her class next month — a class that I took only three years ago. I try to get over my imposter syndrome and tell her I’d love to.
2:30pm: I finish up the rest of my assignments and start working ahead on tomorrow’s. I’m totally not comparing my editor’s G-cal with their bosses to see when that meeting about my pay might be happening.
3:30pm: Realize I feel faint and forgot to eat lunch, make ramen, read articles from competing outlets and brainstorm ideas for my story list.
4:30pm: Text H. about coming over, and he says yes! No word yet from my editor! I’m worried!
5:00pm: Well. I find out that the person on a team that worked closely with mine just quit after less than two weeks. I know he was getting paid 90k, and they’re trying to backfill his position immediately. I’m genuinely shocked and worry that this will negatively influence any raise I would have received. I destress by practicing piano.
6:00pm: H. comes over and we walk to the natural foods co-op near me. I’m typically an Aldi girl, but my dad raised me to splurge on the right things —like good meat, dairy products and bread. Plus, I love supporting local, it’s much easier to buy small amounts of food for just one person and I’ve barely been eating anything. If I buy good (and $$) food, it’s more likely I’ll actually consume something.
I buy two organic chicken breasts ($6) and a cup of shredded cheese ($2) from a farm upstate, plus two boxes of Annie’s mac ($2.50). I may be a 20-something in the Midwest writing a money diary, but I do not steal from the co-op. $10.57
6:30pm: I remember I ran out of good popcorn kernels and H. needs some other things, so H. and I walk to a bougie grocery store that carries it ($7). I also buy fancy rosemary olive oil bread ($6), tortillas ($2.50) and locally-made ice cream ($7). $22.73
7:00pm: H. and I make tacos and get high on my balcony. Love him so much.
8:00pm: We watch Brooklyn 99, I play him some new songs I’ve been working on (playing piano while high rocks), we have sex, scroll through Reddit together and cuddle my cats. Love him so much x100000.
11:00pm: H. heads home, I make popcorn (I bought a different kind this time and it’s bad! I’m sad!), try not to stress about work, stress about work, do my skincare routine (go to a dermatologist y’all, that prescription stuff will change your life) and practice piano again to try and get my stress out.
12:30am: Fall asleep.
Total:$33.30
Wednesday
8:00am: Snooze until 8:15. Thank god for my hair being done already; I do my makeup and shoo my cats off my vanity, put on a vintage blue-gray cashmere turtleneck with ‘80s chunky gold hoops and a delicate gold necklace, and sweatpants. ZOOM READY.8:45am: For the first time in a week, I actually sit down and eat a real breakfast (fancy cream cheese on the fancy bread). Feels good.
9:00am: I find out via another reporter that my scoop on a restaurant takeover was the way all the employees found out they got fired. Well, shit.
10:00am: Meet with my team first, then a 1-on-1 with my former boss/mentor. She hired and managed me for two years but was promoted a few months ago; We still have regular meetings to hang out and talk about my career.
I tell her about my raise ask without mentioning how big it was; she tells me she’s all in favor but to not expect much. I feel guilty asking for so much money, even though she doesn’t intend that. Without me asking, she drafts an email to the person who would decide the amount and tells me the subject line: “Why *** is transformational to
11:00am: My recent stories and social posts are killing it; this is my best week this month. I breathe a sigh of relief that this is at least a good time for bosses to check in on my content.
12:00: Redo a coworker’s work. It’s not their fault — they were assigned a story in my coverage area despite not living here — but it’s a little frustrating.
1:00pm-3:00pm: Work, meetings, work, work. It’s been a boring day.
3:30pm: I get charged a day early for a goddamn subscription to Scribd. I had set a reminder to cancel for today, since it was supposed to charge me tomorrow. I cancel immediately but am too mentally drained to fight the charge. $12.87
4:30pm: My boss tells me they don’t know what to do about my raise and I need to talk to HR. Which makes no sense to me considering they are my boss, but I reach out anyway.
5:30pm: Pack up and head over to my friends’ house for Dungeons and Dragons. R. started running campaigns for me and a group of our friends when we were together — R. and I ended our romantic relationship a while ago, but we’re still the best of friends and our group has played together weekly for nearly four years. It’s the highlight of my week. One friend bought the Chinese food this time (A DND tradition) and I Venmo him my portion + a little extra for tip and gas. $13
7:30pm: It’s unhinged energy at the table tonight. We haven’t had the full group together in over a month and we’re at peak insanity. R. is all for it, thankfully — some Dungeon Masters get really strict about staying serious, but we go off on dumb side tangents and quests constantly. It’s way more fun.
8:00pm: For the first time in days, I’m actually really hungry. I ask if anyone wants to GoPuff some snacks and we get a bunch of junk food. They ask what I owe them but I tell them nothing; we’re the same age, but my friends are all students who also work side jobs. When I was working all my jobs in college, I swore to myself when I made enough money, I’d treat my friends to silly little things. $29.33
11:00pm: We finish early tonight! I make plans with R. to see a movie later in the week and head back home with the leftover junk food.
11:40pm: It took me thirty goddamn minutes to find a parking spot and walk back to my place. I hate it here. I spend the next half hour contemplating buying $300 patio chairs on Facebook marketplace. I moved into a new apartment three times the size of my old place fairly recently; I’ve been using it as an excuse to thrift a lot. I decide to hold off.
12:30am: Bedtime.
Total: $55.20
THURSDAY
7:00am: Up and at ‘em extra early; I need to showedo my hair. It feels gross.8:45am: Get ready, dress in a tan cashmere turtleneck, brown wide-legged pants, put on gold jewelry and my lucky gold & amber ring, and head out to a coffee shop to meet my team. Side note: All of my clothing is thrifted, I’m not making cashmere $$$. Yes, I always dress like this.
9:00am: Buy a coffee and chat with a coworker before we start. I can expense this, since we meet so rarely in person. The HR rep emails me back asking if we can meet this afternoon; I schedule the meeting for 2:30; immediately after my therapy session. My therapist will absolutely calm my nerves. ($7.48 with tip)
10:00am: One of my coworkers pulls me aside and asks if I asked for a raise based on an off-handed comment I made earlier. I tell them yes and feel a little embarrassed, but they tell me some things that happened at the company lately that give me a lot of hope. My coworker has a ton of pull at the company and we get along well; I think they’d be honest if I had no chance.
11:00am: My coworkers leave, but I order another coffee and do some more work for a bit. I’ll expense this too. ($6.28 with tip)
12:30pm: Head home, listen in on a company meeting and eat a granola bar so I don’t pass out. Submit my story.
1:30pm: Log on to my therapy session and she instantly helps. I give her my spiel as practice and she tells me I’m doubting myself by giving an $80-$90k range, then tells me I don’t have to be a perfect person to deserve a raise. I change my number to $85k on my notepad.
Side note, I’m convinced my therapist is A. my neighbor and B. reads my work in her personal life, but she just won’t tell me. I keep seeing someone that looks just like her on my block! I swear! This session is $83 but already noted in my monthly expenses. She deserves every penny.
2:20pm: My old manager texts me and says that my coworker from earlier just submitted a letter to everyone involved in my raise to tell them I deserve whatever I’m asking for. That coworker is hard to impress but very well-regarded throughout the company: this will mean a LOT. Manager adds that both of these letters mention I didn’t ask them to write it, which makes me feel better.
2:30pm: Raise talk time!!!!
2:50pm: I actually think that went well. I made all my points, including comparing how my job was 1 year ago versus now and showing off all my numbers. I’m about 10-20 years younger than almost every one of my colleagues, which has affected my pay at this company before. At the end I mention that I know I’m younger than most of my colleagues, but I believe in advocating for myself and the value I bring to the company, no matter my age. The HR rep is a woman and she seems genuinely touched; she tells me I absolutely should be asking for this much.
6:30pm: Between this morning’s team meeting, therapy and stressing over the raise, I barely got anything done, so I work late until H. comes over. I change into an oversized cream-colored silk button-down and short shorts to make it totally seem like I just lounge around looking hot. We’ve been dating on and off for 3 years, but I still try and impress him.
7:00pm: My maintenance guy installed a chain lock on my doors at my request; my downstairs neighbor has a stalker!!! Super fun and cool! H. and I realize that the chain is so long that he can reach through and unlock it himself, so we walk to the local hardware store to try and see if they’ll cut it a little shorter.
7:30pm: The employees try so hard to help me find a solution because they’re angels, but no luck. I buy a new lock to see if that chain might be shorter. $6.79
8:00pm: It is not.
8:30pm: H. and I eat leftover tacos, I do some more work after realizing more people put morning meetings on my calendar despite all my noon deadlines. We are bored as hell after I’m done, so we go through a random book of 4,000 questions I grabbed at a Little Free Library. We’re dorky but it’s a lot of fun.
10:30pm: H. leaves, I practice piano and go to sleep around midnight.
TOTAL: $6.79
FRIDAY:
7:00am: My deadlines are earlier than normal on Fridays and I have three meetings before noon, so I get up early to get ahead on the day.8:00am: The editor in chief (!!!) sends me an email to say they booked me to speak at my alma mater without asking me. I’m terrified and pissed but too busy to think about it.
11:00am: Write about half of the stories I need to, hop into a meeting about the young professionals group I’m starting at the company, get into another meeting with two new managers I’m training in. During the meeting, I end up on the hook for another story per week (it was unavoidable); I’m already writing 6 and running social media. My workload was half that last year. I need that raise.
12:30pm: Force myself to eat leftover Chinese food so I don’t die. Stimulants are so weird. I wait for my stories to go through copy edits while getting ready for a press preview I have at 3.
2:00pm: Stories are all done!!!! Hurray! I change from my “I support the central time zone sphere drop” sweatshirt into a black turtleneck, short black skirt, tights, black boots and my favorite peridot earrings/necklace/ring combo, paired with a bright green coat. I love all black, but it’s springtime, baby!
2:30pm: I get an invite to the fanciest restaurant in the Twin Cities from its press person for a media dinner and kinda just stare at the email for a while. It’s very small but includes all the top lifestyle reporters; it would typically be $200/person. I am about 20 years younger than every other person who will be at that table; I never thought I’d be included in something like this. I say yes, of course.
3:00pm: Meet the PR person for a preview of a flower show! It’s gorgeous and will make such great Instagram content. I spend about an hour and a half creating a Reel as my phone crashes 3 separate times. I want to throw it out the window; this would typically only take me 30 minutes.
5:00pm: I’m frustrated and the work slack has been blowing up, but technically the workday is over so I go to a nearby thrift store. It’s such a good one and one of my secrets. I find another colorway of one of my favorite, just throw it on and you look cute and hot even though you’re lazy, sundresses and snap it up immediately. I also buy a long black and white sundress and a vintage 90s REVERSIBLE dress that is absolutely fantastic. It’s four sizes too big but will be very easy to alter. $20
6:15pm: Drive to Target to return some things ($10 back to me) and get general items; I buy garbage bags (why are they $10!!!), tissues, face powder, cereal, mixed vegetables, heavy whipping cream, grapes that turn out not to be seedless (wtf), and dirt to repot my plants. $36.70
7:15pm: Home! Make a vegan bacon sandwich (don’t judge) and H. picks me up so we can go to my fave dive bar — we NEVER go out so this was like pulling teeth, but he owes me. I find out my friends are also going out later tonight (a rarity) and tell him I’ll let him off the hook early if he drives me to that bar.
9:30pm: H. and I got two drinks each (it’s a dive bar, so each drink is $5) and he gets a burger and fries. He pays.
10:00pm: Meet R., our friend D., and a friend of R.’s that I don’t know. It’s an arcade bar in a cool neighborhood, so the place is packed. I buy a drink and bribe D. with a beer to drive me home later. $17 with tips
11:00pm: One of my besties, K., texts the girl group chat (the best ones!) that she just went on a 7-hour-long great date with her work crush, only for his GIRLFRIEND that he LIVES WITH to call him at the end of it. I tell her she should join us to get drunk and she calls an Uber immediately.
11:30pm: Buy a long island iced tea as K. fills my friends in. Everyone but D. is getting drunker than we have been in a while; I bum a cig. (As you do.) $11 with tip
1:00am: I do not remember buying this drink. $6.38
1:30am: I have not been this drunk in a long time but it’s very fun! D. is sober and drives each of us home; I find out in the morning that I made a mess of my kitchen drunkenly making mac and cheese.
Total: $91.08
Saturday
11:45am: UGHHHHHHHHH. I cuddle with my cats and curse past me. Thankfully I didn’t do anything actually stupid and had fun, so whatever.12:00pm: Check my bank account to be sure I didn’t do too much damage and see I got my expenses reimbursed (around $300) + my tax return ($600)!!! An extra $900 out of nowhere!! Fuck yes!
1:00pm: Finally get up, eat and get ready. I shower, do my makeup, and spend 20 minutes quickly altering that reversible dress — it’s so 90s and reminds me of something Monica Geller would have worn in seasons 2-3 of Friends. It’s sleeveless and it’s 40 degrees outside, but it’s very long, deep red with slits on each side and gorgeous and I don’t care. I take in the waist and look hot, but like, classy. Pair with red lipstick, black boots and my black trench.
3:00pm: Get to one of my go-to coffee shops and chat with the owners a bit; I’m a regular + wrote about this place before they opened and they told me people came in because they saw my article! They offer me a free coffee but I pay anyway. Work on this money diary. $5.38
4:00pm: The one bad thing about this place is that it closes at 4. I drive to one of my go-to thrift stores; I chat with the employees when I go there and they told me to stop in today because they’re restocking some books I might be interested in. Hell yes I am. I buy 6 beautiful (and enormous) books filled with high-quality art prints, a frame for one of them, a small vase, a Ralph Lauren dress that will be perfect for my dinner this week and a cute tank. $22.46
5:30pm: Head back home and quickly eat another veggie bacon sandwich before leaving to go get R.; we made plans to see a movie tonight. I get a notification that the patio furniture I’d been eyeing for a month is half off (!!) and I can’t stop thinking about it…I did just get my tax return…
7:30pm: I buy our movie tickets, they buy the popcorn and drinks. It’s about even. This is why I don’t typically see movies at chain theaters, dammit. $29.33
9:30pm: That sure was…a movie. Yeah. We sit and yell about how dumb it was for a solid thirty minutes and I drive them back. Our other friends end up getting home at the same time, so I go inside and hang out with them.
10:30pm: I ask my friends if I should spend a lot of money. They say yes. Fuck it, I’m buying it. I finally have a patio (!!!!) and I’ve had no luck thrifting any. I get the two chairs and table set (it’s so cute and half off), an outdoor rug (so cute!!!) and some pillows/planters to match. I already have all the lights, plants, planters and vibes to fill out the rest of it. I’m so excited!!! This would typically come out of the designated savings bucket I have for home stuff (I love interior design), but I instead use the funds from my tax return. I’ll save that fund for my bedroom remodel. $390.01
11:30pm: Head home, text H. about our plans tonight and go to bed around 12:30am.
Total: $447.18
SUNDAY
8:00am: Ughhhh it’s early. H. and I tried to go to the local conservatory last week but it was so packed we couldn’t even get in (despite having tickets!). I booked us reservations for the first moment they open today, especially because they have a new flower show debuting today. I’m regretting this decision. Put on the same dress I wore yesterday because I’m lazy.9:00am: H. picks me up and buys me coffee. I’m much less grumpy.
10:00am: Okay, this was worth getting up early for. It’s almost entirely empty and we get to sit in one of the few benches in the conservatory. I love flowers and sun and spring and hate Minnesota for taking it from me. H. and I sit and talk for over an hour; by the time we leave, it’s wall-to-wall people. We made the right choice.
11:30am: I’m looking for frames for some of those art prints, so I ask if we could go to the nearby thrift store (I know, I know). H. is all for it. We realize we’re right by the local surplus store, which is this insane place that has the most random things you never knew you needed for 45 cents. We go there first.
I buy five vintage piano books (!!!!), an airtight jar, 12 travel containers because mine all broke, a measuring tape, AM/PM pill container because I keep accidentally taking my sleeping pills at 7am, a camera lens container and a few other small things. Love this place. $27.51
1:30pm: Now we actually go to the thrift store. I get five frames, a cute skirt, and a new plant stand (cats broke mine). This place is nice, but pricey. $33.91
2:30pm: H. drops me off and I go straight into my traditional Sunday reset, aka my deep clean. I repot and water my plants, set up the plant stand, organize every room in my house, do all my laundry, wipe down all surfaces, vacuum, mop, cook dinner with enough for leftovers this week, etc. I love to clean and this takes my mind off the Sunday Scaries I’m suddenly getting.
4:30pm: My beloved plant I’ve had for three years has fungus gnats. I ask my neighbor if she has any neem oil and she happily lends me her stash. Yay for being friendly with neighbors!
5:30: I try to put my adorable old office chair on the curb. I look at it and realize I love it too much. Fuck the ergonomic Ikea one. I carried the old one down all those flights of stairs and carry it right back up. Ikea one goes into my closet for now; thankfully that closet is practically a third bedroom.
6:30pm: The pigeons that have been stalking my patio won’t leave me alone. They divebomb my head, I scream expletives, then my nice neighbor with the young kid politely asks me to keep it PG. I apologize profusely.
7:30pm: It’s 30 degrees but I don’t care. I drag my kitchen table chair out on the patio and work on this money diary.
7:45pm: Realize while writing this that I fucking got charged for Youtube TV, aka $59. The Oscars were not fucking worth that. I rage. Thankfully because it just happened, I get a refund. Thanks Google!
8:30pm: I journal, finish this diary, practice some new piano songs and go to bed around 10:30pm. Hopefully I’ll find out about my raise soon!
Total: $61.42 home
Final $$$$:
Food and drink: $142.29Fun: $29.33
Home + Health: $483.22
Clothes + Beauty: $31.46
Other: $12.87
TOTAL: $699.17
~Final thoughts~
Other than the patio furniture and going out for that many drinks, this was an average spend week for me. I have a thrifting and food problem, I fully acknowledge this. But honestly…It’s been so cold the last five months that the only things to do are stay inside or go out and spend money! I spend so much less in the summertime; thrifting keeps me from staying inside all day and being depressed until it warms up. It’s not an excuse, but it is a reason.I’m hoping I can spend less on food in the future. I’ve dropped so much weight since starting this medication that I’ve allowed myself to do anything if I feel like I can eat, which leads to this! (Don’t worry, I’m meeting with my med doc this week.)
I will update this as soon as I find out about my raise, ha! I wrote this in real time.
Thanks for reading!
2023.03.27 14:49 Incognito_Canadian KarmaLab's Drop It Like It's Hot: March 2023
 | Please note this newsletter is for internal use only. submitted by Incognito_Canadian to u/Incognito_Canadian [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/r6dyiium2aqa1.png?width=2400&format=png&auto=webp&s=14de849958d7904324d89564cefbb232f63d1fe4 TL;DR: Hello again, Reddit Sales! Welcome to March’s edition of Drop It Like It’s Hot where we bring you our latest decks, resources, campaigns and inspiration from the past month https://preview.redd.it/g8owkpf82aqa1.png?width=2400&format=png&auto=webp&s=8dce2abc05cbeb0398fc20285ec17519af911b9e Content Round Up: In this section, you’ll find a collection of our favorite RFPs of the month as well as new resources from KarmaLab. New Resources: Creative Best Practices 2.0 (Global): As you may have seen, we are extremely excited to have officially launched our new Ads Creative Best Practices (*cue the happy dance*) this month! As a TL;DR, the GCS team evaluated over 13,000+ ads running on Reddit to generate insights that answer key market questions for your clients. Looking at over 30,000 features across both video and static promoted posts, we identified that success on Reddit comes down to 5 key themes:
Yes, you certainly can share this on your LinkedIn. Go on - you know you wanna. RFP Responses: Google x Reddit Inspiration 1-Sheeters (US): Developed for the head of marketing at Google, we created concise one-sheeters to inspire and drive FOMO. Each featured timely Reddit insights + high level thought starters that focused on Google’s 5 priority areas. Check it out HERE.
Live Campaigns: Here’s a look at what we’re loving that’s live from around the world. Campaign Call Out: M&M's Takes Over Reddit Note: This image was for pitching purposes only and is internal. As M&M’S Undergoes New Leadership, Former Spokescandies Explore New Interests on Reddit After 63 years in the spotlight, M&M’S announced it would be taking an “indefinite pause” with the beloved spokescandies. After some previous public backlash with the characters’ redesign, they figured replacing them with new leadership would be the best move for everyone. Naturally, the spokescandies felt a little lost and what better place to explore new interests and connect with others than on Reddit. Enter Jaime Flynn, who was able to work across brand, agency and media partnerships to deploy a creative strategy to not only promote the change at the company, but simultaneously give each spokescandy an opportunity to individually find their people on Reddit. While ongoing promoted posts and conversation placements acted as “news headlines” to announce the company happenings, the spokescandies used a variety of other ad placements across various interest groups that spoke to their new individual careers. The Purple spokescandy took out an entertainment category takeover to promote her new career as a singesongwriter. Blue became a sports newscaster, responding to redditors’ conversations around NFL gameplay. Yellow signed on to become a Snickers bar. Orange sought comfort from Reddit’s wellness communities through an engagement prompt to “find inner peace.” While mass media focused on the new change in leadership, the Reddit team was able to carve out separate niche narratives that reflect the love the public has for the spokescandies, and prove that there really is a place for whatever you’re passionate about on Reddit. Other Live Work: Now TV F1 (UK): F1 is back and Burberry Fashion Show Live Stream (UK) : Luxury fashion meets Reddit for a first-of-its kind Reddit Takeover. To promote Daniel Lee’s first show with Burberry, we partnered with the iconic fashion house to livestream its runway show across Reddit’s frontpage and trending takeover ad units. The result? An iconic debut from Burberry, successfully positioning themselves at the heart of Gen Z culture to demonstrate their a new brand with a new identity. Check it out HERE. Adidas Adizero Megathread (UK): As a brand-first for Adidas in the UK, we partnered to build a megathread that introduces redditors to its new Adizero range. And in true Reddit fashion, we offered redditors the TLDR… but this time with a twist. To demonstrate how Adizero is made for speed, we used spoiler tags to cut down the reading time of the Megathread by three whole minutes. Check it out HERE. The Consultant Engagement Prompt Carousel (US): Turns out redditors are pretty slick when it comes to getting out of work. In order to promote Prime Video’s new, comedic series, The Consultant, we solicited stories of outrageous workplace culture. **Grabs popcorn** After asking redditors to share a time that they lied to their boss, we rounded up the best answers to share in a UGC carousel. Check it out HERE. Kraft Singles x Reddit Rap Battle (US): Since Kraft Singles entered the music industry, it’s certainly got Reddit talking. Thus, we challenged redditors to share their skills. Through an engagement prompt, we challenged Reddit to battle Kraft’s latest single through a rap-off in the comments. And of course, Kraft Singles rapped back. Check it out HERE. Scream VI - NYC Survival Guide (US): Queue the first movie studio to leverage a megathread–Paramount Pictures Launches a “Survival Guide” for the Upcoming SCREAM VI movie. Running alongside custom GIFs that position Ghostface as a redditor, this guide provides weekly updates on how to survive in the big city based on the cast of pros. Check it out HERE. https://preview.redd.it/9w32ayqfyaqa1.png?width=2400&format=png&auto=webp&s=e31ae2ad768b3388545b0fdea88a2dd570ab619b Subreddit Spotlight: Shining a light on our favorite subreddit of the month: RomanceBooks Romance novels get a raw deal. They’re considered trashy, stupid, or just plain bad. And reader, they can be all of those things, but they are also one of the top-selling genres (at least in the US) with the strongest presence on Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited service. And Reddit’s community for discussion, recommendations, and reviews is RomanceBooks. https://preview.redd.it/tju4rof12aqa1.png?width=820&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e2dad55ed164eb85e8ee30cedc04fd61b922ea4 Here you will find nonjudgmental responses to requests for alien lovers, enthusiastic use of emojis (on Reddit?! Dang skippy), biweekly author AMAs, meme posts, vent posts, and posts about whether or not self-published authors should use editors (IMO yes). But the best and most interesting part of this community, which is roughly as engaged as much larger subreddits like movies, is where it sits in internet culture. They don’t have a Discord server, but everyone can recognize every TikTok reference. They share fanart unabashedly between Twitter, Tumblr, and Reddit. They’re on Goodreads, but also on Storygraph, and always on the lookout for new apps in the book world. They grew up with fanfiction and can recognize when their favorite authors did, too. One of the members even created a website, romance.io, that functions similarly to Goodreads or Storygraph but is customized for what romance readers care most about as they choose what to read next. And now there’s a Romance-Bot that works off of romance.io to link users to the books others are recommending to them. As we continue to think about when and why redditors share posts from Reddit, why they come to Reddit, and how to keep them on Reddit, non-insular communities like RomanceBooks should be at the top of our radar. https://preview.redd.it/0aqm772l2aqa1.png?width=2400&format=png&auto=webp&s=285ee9ea5c0b51d7fca12c3ef88479e894d2abe8 And as if this newsletter wasn’t 🔥🔥🔥 enough, we have a few treats left for you to explore:
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