Who does connor payton play for

I have so many cool events waiting for me. I have so many people who love me and care for me. I have so many projects which are waiting for me.
The thing is I don't care. I don't care at all.
People love me but I don't love them because I can't help but think it's not real. I don't love anyone. Nothing really matters, and everything and everyone just seems vain.
The more I grow up the more I become cold-hearted and angry, it's starting to affect everyone around me but how could I care ? They don't feel real. Nothing does.
I feel like I'm all alone in a happy video game. Like I'm the only real human being in Animal Crossing. So many people are thinking that "I feel better" because my life got better, but they don't understand that no matter how good my life get, it still isn't true in my eyes. I often fantasize about killing myself just so I could get the chance to experience something real.
I just wish that someone could hold me in their arms, ground me, tell me that they see my pain. I just wish that someone could show me that life is real. I need it so badly. I just want to feel happy about my life, at least once.

wish that was a joke.
hi. until yesterday i (21f) had a 3 month relationship with a 44 yrs old man. yes, daddy issues. no shit sherlock.
we met this guy online. i asked him if he is married, he said that he is married; he said their relationship with his wife is complicated. i asked him if he has children, he deftly covered up my question, then implicitly hinted that he has kids at an irrelevant conversation. i assumed that he continued his relationship with his wife for the children, that there was no spousal relationship between them (my first mistake).
we do not live in the same cities. he has a job in another city. after one and half months of texting, he came to my city. we made love (we didn't have sex). everything was fine. i never had a feeling in the texts that would make me think there was someone else. he has a company on his own and therefore he was working hard. i reminded myself of this at the times when we were disconnected (note: he wasn't my sugar daddy). then he came once more (20 days ago) this time we had sex. it was my first sex and went pretty good (great actually). he took off the condom for couple times, i let him (my second mistake).
i was not in love with the man. i just liked him and needed the attention AND the feeling of being with someone. i always felt happy when he came to see me. anyway.
yesterday, an anonymous account reached me. she wrote that she wanted to talk very urgently and that my lover is her boyfriend. she told me the man's name, age, neighborhood. and what hee look like. yeah, it was him.
the girl told me that she has been in a husband-wife relationship with this man for 6 months and that she is sitting next to him by the time she wrote those texts. i gave my phone number and told her to call me. a 22 year old girl. what she said wasn't a lie. in the country where i live, such secret marriages are possible. the girl told me that there is no problem in the relationship of the man with his real wife (the mother of the children). the man's father is aware of the secret marriage with the 22-year-old girl and is supportive to his son but the real wife has no idea.
his secret wife (22 years old girl) told me he had HERPES. it's been 20 days since we had sex, no symptoms. i'll test it this week though.
i don't know what to feel or think right now. since i learned the surname of the man from the 22-year-old woman (i never asked that to him, my 3rd mistake), i stalked his real social media accounts for the first time. i found his real wife's account. worst feeling in the world. one of their children has the same name as mine. what's even funnier is that since i didn't want to be seen with him, we played a game and i told him 'call me something else than my real name when we're in public'. we were at starbucks and he choose the barista's name. since then, he has occasionally called me both my real name + the barista's name. the barista's name is his real wife's name. bit tragic. idk, if i were him, i wouldn't be able to use that name to my sidechick.
anyway, after things exploded like this, i told him that i will tell all about him to everyone he know (he has a second life filled by doing things he shouldn't do, and in an environment that i can easily reach - a well-established school graduate - these are terribly shameful things). i told him that i will disgrace him. told him that i have nothing to lose. i don't know why i said this. actually i do not give a fuck. i just feel sick to my stomach (you know, his face is in front of me since i learned all about these)
the 22-year-old secret wife texted his real wife, and i didn't even do that. actually, he said that the real wife know all about secret one but the secret one says the real one knows nothing.
when i stalked his real wife i saw a young woman who is just trying to improve herself, to fill her life. i don't think i can forgive myself for what i did to her. when the HERPES shit added to it, i thought of k word myself. i couldn't sleep all night. i don't know what to do. i really don't know if i should embarrass this man in the school circle or do nothing.
i just wanted to tell here. you can say anything you want to say. i personally think that the only bad thing i have done is that not to seriously tamper with his relationship with his wife. i had to ask everything properly and that's my only regret.
also, when i talked to this man yesterday, he said that, 'you didn't ask how many wives i have so i wouldn't be considered lying, i wouldn't be considered cheating'. he also said that his only regret was that his 22-year-old secret wife and i found out about each other. he repeatedly asked me 'now that you know, what did you get? are you happy?' etc. i think he is an asshole. maybe i'm an asshole too. anyway, i wanted to share this. it would be nice to hear some from u guys..

So recently I started seeing this girl again we used to talk months ago but she said stuff got too intense and ended it.
Recently she popped up to me asking to see eachother again I was hesitant at first but then after talking decided to give her a chance.
We went out on a date and discussed stuff about what we wanted we agreed to take things slower this time and calm down also she lives a bout an hour away from me so it’s a bit of distance between us.
So anyway this date and the rules we set about going slow and talking more have been going really well and we’ve been able to discuss stuff that we didn’t before and understand eachother better in the past few weeks.
I recently took her to meet my grandparents it was nothing big it was just a quick hello but it was still a decently big deal for both of us and I’m glad to have taken that step.
Anyways that night we sorta took things to the next level and done the deed and we both had a great time together after.
The next morning we found out she had accidentally posted a photo of us on her story and a few people seen it before she could take it down.
She has says she didn’t want to many people knowing and I was the same.
In the picture I look really bad I don’t think I do normally I’m decent looking enough but she was getting messages from people kinda making fun of me and saying she can do better and I kinda laughed it off with her but also worried a slight bit.
She reassured me she doesn’t think that and it was just a bad photo.
That same day we decided to go for food and spend more time together while doing this I brought up to her that I don’t think we should really be going with other people in anyway like kissing talking or anything and she kinda got shy and says we should talk about that stuff when she’s my girlfriend and I thought fair enough and that reassured me.
Now last time she was the one who ended things and I worry she’ll leave again and it led to a conversation while I was driving her home.
It went something like me saying I was worried she was just going to do what she done to me before and just leave and she said she’s not going to do that and promised me she wouldn’t this made me feel better and I dropped her off and headed home this was on Sunday night.
On Monday we were talking as normal and I was meant to call her but she took too long and I fell asleep it was no big deal.
Then on Tuesday I made plans to call her earlier and after her shift she finished 8pm and texted me around 9 asking me to call her I didn’t see her message for 30 minutes then called to no answer.
She texted saying her and a work friend (m27) I think we’re going to get food and asked how long I’d be up so she could try call me.
I said I’d be staying up a bit late and she told me she’ll call me when she’s home she then sent a video on Snapchat of her food and her friend in his house on his bed with the food laid out.
Now I do trust her but she has told me she had a casual thing with someone she worked with but wouldn’t say who and then I started suspecting this guy she was with to be him no big deal.
Then I thought back to our conversation about how I wanted us to be more exclusive and not doing stuff like kissing or the deed or going on dates with others and how she avoided that question a bit.
Also she did say to me in the beginning I could text other girls if I wanted but I told her I thought about that and I wouldn’t be doing it and I expect her to do the same she says she was only texting me.
Now that I’ve covered all that you could say it was a mixed feeling I had of whether her and this guy were doing stuff or just hanging out but then at about 2am I woke up and decided to check her snap maps and I seen she was still at this guys house still active on Snapchat recently but never replied to me.
This has sent me spiralling in a way as we aren’t exclusive and haven’t said so but now this has me in a conundrum I don’t know how to go about this situation I still have heard from her since that video from last night on Tuesday and I’m not sure what to do or think.
Has she done something with this guy, does she like him more now, am I overthinking it or can I be upset since we haven’t officially said we’re exclusive I would really appreciate advice on what to do here.
Also if she has done anything with guy what should I do how do I approach it

Me(19) was in a 3 week complicated relationship with someone (20M). We were in a LDR with no label relationship. We agreed to do so, since we thought it would be too fast. We knew each other already since high school and got closer when we were in senior year through chat. Both of us are currently college students studying very far away from our localities. The distance between each other is about 16 hours away.
Everything started okay, our school year started late so currently our second semester is still ongoing. While theirs' is currently in summer period. He is currently taking summer classes and I has a lot of time on his hands. Everything was so good and enthusiastic at first. He shown me all of the green flags a guy can have. He likes to update me and will message me when he is free. But suddenly after a week, he started to slowly change. He will still update me but he seems to be too busy. He will only be free and completely active on midnight. He is a sleepy-head so whenever we chat or call at that time, there is a possibility that he will sleep in between calls or chats. He argued that it is also due to my voice being comfortable and he is not used to my sleeping pattern. I usually sleep between 3-4 AM.
Time passes and he continues to change, he wont chat me first anymore. He wont spend time on me, he keeps on playing with his friends and would tell me that he is not in the mood to chat or call. I understand that always chatting with me can be boring and life doesn't revolve only with our relationship. I keep on understanding and adjusting, even find time for him even balancing my wicked sched in college for him. But he doesn't do the same. It hurts to know that he doesn't give me the same effort as I do.
There was one occurrence that really broke me, he chatted me while they were drinking with his friends that he is not sure that our relationship will work. He told me that since his love language was physical touch, it would not really work. I reasoned with him as best as I could that I would do my best to keep it together. At that time, I was also stupid. I fought with someone who was in the influence of alcohol. He just made me so angry that he can easily give up. I asked him whether he want to end this, in that same night. He said yes but also said no.
I told him to reply to me tomorrow when he is already sober. Tomorrow afternoon, he changed but I knew that change was only temporary. He avoids my questions on open communication on where I wanna hear his side. He updated me that he is busy in an event. Later that day, he and his friends were drinking again. I told him before they even started to spend time with me today so that we can open up. He said no, he will spend time with his friends. I jokingly told him that, "Okay, you enjoy their company better than with me". He freaking reacted with a heart on that said message. I am an anxiety filled person and an overthinker. I keep on thinking about different scenarios and such.
I wrote a long note about my thoughts so that I can sleep, since I still have school early. It was 3AM already at that time. I kept on asking him whether he really wants to end our relationship. He said yes and due to grief I told him all about the hurt and signs I noticed about him. And told me that everything was his fault. We ended that conversation with goodbyes.
But I did not sleep on that night. Tommorow afternoon, I felt extreme anxiety where I want to break down. I messaged him again, that I wanna start over and I was sorry for being dramatic. He said okay to it and that day started okay. But the day after, he doesn't reply anymore. His last message that replied to one of my messages where I asked him why he is not so responsive anymore was that "He thinks that it is much better to love himself first and that is why he is behaving this way". He also replied that he doesn't reply that much anymore because he is tired of explaining his side which he cant really explain.
He really didn't tell me his side until now. I know how I reacted left our relationship like this. I chatted him and told him to Heal first and I am always right here if he needs me. Once in a while, I chat him up and ask him how is he. But he doesn't really reply. Maybe it's because of how I structure my sentences? I really don't know. I was stupid. I am very insecure and scared on whether he already has someone else. He keeps on posting that he misses their kisses (without including the name) and posts stuff about relationships. I don't know if I am the one he means or he has another girl over there. It just hurts so bad that I feel this way. It was really the shortest and fastest relationship where I fell head over heels. I still love him and always try to communicate with him through chats and even post stuff like "please reply" and stuff like that. I am an a**h*le and full of red flags but for me if he re assured me maybe I would react differently. But I know everything happened because of me. I don't deserve him.
What are your thoughts about this? Let me hear them, I am really confused on what to do. Am I doing the right thing by messaging him stuff like "Good morning and have a great day onwards"?

Schools can prioritize including students of all ability levels in sports to make athletics accessible for all young people.
Offer variety: Tuscarora High in Frederick County, Maryland, offers 17 different sports, including golf, swimming, and lacrosse, to appeal to students' diverse tastes and talents. * Variety can prevent specialization and reduce risks of repetitive stress injuries while encouraging participation.
Allow participation at different skill levels: Tuscarora High provides low-key, non-competitive sports options for students who don't have extensive sporting backgrounds. * This approach gives beginners the opportunity to improve and stay engaged in sports.
Utilize space creatively: Schools should consider using gym and field spaces during the day for intramural and club sports. * Encouraging physical movement as a part of the school day benefits students' learning, self-esteem, and ability to cope with challenges.
Maintain manageable teacher-to-student ratios: School leadership can support physical movement by ensuring appropriate ratios of educators to students in PE classes and sports activities, making it less intimidating for less-skilled students to join in.
Keep things in perspective: While sports can have benefits, it is essential to allow children to choose their interests and not push them to continue playing if they don't enjoy it.
View original article on NPR
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I am a functioning single adult, as in I am able to do my own thing. I have good female friends, who have their own lives and are struggling in their own ways. While I am not unhappy single, every now and then I will daydream about having a partner, a friend more than anything, who will want to form a deeper connection with me and add to my life in a positive way. However, most guys I've dated managed to achieve the complete opposite. From defective communication (aka I haven't replied to your text in 4 days cause I was busy), to hiding kids and an ex, to telling me how to wear my hair while him being unable to cut his cracked toenail for an entire month and getting upset when I mentioned it, I just don't want to be bothered with men. Not to mention the constant obsessing over unwanted pregnancies and ridiculous grooming standards which have nothing to do with personal hygiene that do not apply to them. Dating apps are a shit show full of travel and adrenaline junkies, wine connoisseurs and fancy-restaurant people I can't keep up with (what the hell do these people do for a living?). My last chat was with a guy who told me that he does not give a crap about the way he looks because he is too above superficial things like physical appearance, which is the opposite messed up side of the spectrum.
Long story short, are there any decent guys left and if so, where do you find them? Is anyone in a relationship with a man actually happy? I am open to meeting someone nice, but I am not gonna ruin my peace of mind for some smug dude who will shit on me the first moment he can and also I am sooo sick of trying.

Not about an actual vampire. Wrote this a bit ago. It's a short story thats not quite done, but I'm looking for some feedback on how it's gone so far.

The Raven Kid tapped its spindly fingers against the glass of my kitchen window. Its small, smooth face was grinning, it’s feathers matted and stained with old blood. The face of a toddler grafted onto an old carrion crow. I opened the window reluctantly, and winced as it leapt down onto my nice, clean counter, right next to the cutting board on which I was chopping onions for my curry. “Message. Heh.” It tittered in a high, girlish voice, hopping a couple steps towards my dinner. I put a hand on the counter in between it and my nice pot of curry that I had been looking forward to eating all day. That hand happened to also be holding a knife. “Let’s hear it.” I said, “No food for a poor li’l birdy that flew all the way here to deliver you a message, Miss?” It said, eyeing the knife, and then the stove where my pot sat, and then back down at the knife. “No.” “Am so hungry.” It whined. “Perhaps if you give me the message.” I said, sighing. These things didn’t eat food. They fed off of misery. It could feel me looking forwards to eating my curry. If it could eat it, or at least get its nasty little feathers into it, it knew I wouldn’t be able to have it and I’d be disappointed. It wasn’t misery, exactly, but it was enough for a single Raven Kid. “You is lying.” It said, “I know you wont give me the eats even if I gives you the message.” “Correct.” I said, and began tapping one of my nails on the hilt of the knife, gently, so I wouldn’t mess them up. I’d just gotten them done. “But I’m giving you an easy way out. You can tell the other Raven kids you were tricked. If not, we move onto intimidation and then, if that fails, I can start plucking your feathers. I’ve never tried putting a Raven Kid in my curry.” And I never would. They weren’t strictly material creatures, they were manifestations of guilt, despair or a host of other negative emotions that never got big enough to turn into something truly threatening. But I’m sure I’d catch some sort of psychic disease if I tried to eat one. The Raven Kid muttered something caustic under its breath, hopping from side to side, like a songbird on the sidewalk. The ugliest songbird on the planet. “‘S just another schmuck who heard old rumor bout calling you through us, that you is honorbound to help.” “Lovely.” I said, “When I figure out who started spreading that around I’m going to find them and make them wish they had never been born. What is it they want?” “Not sure.” The thing continued to sulk, but a gleeful, sharp edge entered its voice, “But it smelled like misery right enough. Horatio Cortez it name is. In a li’l town called Gansfield, in Arizona.” “Well, I suppose I’ll be calling on Mr. Cortez soon, then. But first I’m going to finish making my curry, and then I have to call the school to make sure they have a substitute teacher to replace me tomorrow.” ------ Eight hours later I checked into the dingy motel 5 on the outskirts of Gransfield, a town which, at its densest, felt like it should have been the outskirts of somewhere else. I unclasped my big leather suitcase and carefully donned my harness, and then over it my suit and my tie. 

Then I removed my mask from it’s place at the base of the suitcase, and turned to the mirror before carefully affixing it to my face. Today I’d chosen a black and white mask. It covered my nose, eyes and the top of my head, leaving my mouth free. It had little horns at the top and the eyes were big and dark. Most of my masks were a little melodramatic to be perfectly honest, but for idiots that were expecting to see something like this it lent to my mystique, and I couldn’t have any old person see my face. I didn’t want to bring work home.

A pair of old men gave me a funny look from where they sat drinking outside the motel’s office as I stepped out into the hot Arizona sun. But of course they would. That was part of why I chose these ostentatious masks. People would give me odd looks, but nobody would think I'd be, say, robbing a bank. I'd get a lot more negative attention if I went around in a ski mask, or with a hood up hiding my face. That was normal shady behavior, this was bizarre shady behavior, and so was an object of curiosity rather than suspicion. No one called the police on a woman in a strange mask and a suit. I used to avoid staying at hotels, too. People didn’t like it when you booked places while wearing a mask, odd or not, and it was so painstaking to wipe peoples memories of my face as a safety precaution. But now, even all the way out here, there was a remote booking option. Sometimes, they would just leave the keys for me in a little box! No need to talk to anyone! Throw in a fake name and a credit card in that selfsame identity, and no one had to know you’d stayed there. I scanned the sky, searching for the Raven Kids and spotted them almost immediately. High up in the air, more like a swarm of locusts than a flock, circling what turned out to be a Taco Bell. I sat down in the parking lot, near the exit, and lit a cigarette. It was fucking hot, but I’d slapped on a heaping helping of deodorant, and I didn’t sweat much anyway. I'd wait for my caller out here. Hopefully I’d look suitably mysterious and not like a sweaty mess in a suit. They wouldn't let me smoke inside, either, and as I only let myself smoke while on jobs, I wanted to be somewhere I could savor it. A few people passed me by with their to go bags, shooting me strange looks. They weren’t Horatio. Horatio would be looking for something strange, and if he really needed my help, he would approach me. After about ten minutes sitting outside in the sun, I ground out my cigarette and decided that maybe I should head inside. Hell, I’d order something. It was hot. Fuck being mysterious, I wanted a burrito and a drink that was mostly ice cubes. It was pretty obvious which one Horatio was when I stepped inside. He had wedged himself into the corner of one of the booths and was looking down at a half eaten quesadilla when I entered. He glanced up at me and his eyes went wide. I looked in his direction but didn’t adress him. “Large Sprite and a Burrito Bowl, thanks.” I said to the girl at the counter. She stared at me for a moment, before looking down and inputting my order. “Are you going to a… costume party… miss?” She tried, “I am. Yes.” I said, crossing my arms. She smiled and nodded, looking back at one of her coworkers, her facial expression hadn’t changed an inch. She was making an effort to either keep the smile on her face, or prevent that smile from turning into a laugh. 

When I got my burrito bowl and my sprite I sat down across from Horatio. He had been staring at me the whole damn time, more intensely and longer than the other patrons had.
He was a skinny young man, probably not done growing, with wiry arms and legs and curly brown hair. His face was drawn and pale, with heavy bags under his eyes. Beneath his nose was an unpleasant moustache-adjacent growth that those incapable of growing facial hair produced when they insisted on trying anyway.
“You, uh, you’re…” His voice became almost a whisper. “The Bruja that’s supposed to get rid of… problems.” Bruja? It meant witch, sort of, but with less of the positive connotations that had been associated with the word ‘witch’ thanks to Harry Potter and other popular media.
“I don’t like to put labels on what I am. You can call me Vampire.” Again, a stupid, melodramatic name, but along with the mask its the kind of thing people expected from the mysterious problem solving stranger. It had been my nickname at the Seminary, too. It was easier to just accept the name.
“You’re a Vampire?”
“Not a Vampire.” I sighed. “Just Vampire. It’s my name, not what I am.”
“Yea. You were out in the sun. Had to have been, to come in here. If you were a vampire you would have burned to a crisp.”
“I’m also not currently ripping your throat out.” I said, mixing up my burrito bowl with a fork. I wished that the food looked as good in real life as it did on the advertisements. It annoyed me that I wasn’t getting what I paid for. “That’s another good way to tell. Real vampires don’t ‘help’ people, unless that person happens to be suicidal, and even then it’s just coincidental.”
When I began to eat Horatio tried to pretend like he wasn’t staring at my mouth.
“I told you, you won’t find any fangs.” I said, pulling my upper lip up with one finger, showing him my perfectly normal canine tooth.
“Yea. Right.” He said, “I know.”
“What do you want, Horatio?” I said eventually, after picking around the tomatoes in my burrito bowl. I hated tomatoes.
“You don’t know?”
“No. Did you actually tell the Raven Kid’s about your problem?” I said impatiently, “Mind reading isn’t one of my skills.”
“I just… I thought you’d know.”
“I don’t.” I said flatly.
“Well.” He began, when I didn’t say anything further. “I’m being haunted.”

“Haunted? That’s… not really my area of expertise. The Raven Kids told you what I do, yes? I can try to help you, but usually you need to solve your own ghost problems. If they’re haunting you, it’s usually for a reason. And while I don’t mind being cruel when the situation calls for it, even I don’t hold with exorcisms.” “The… kids… told me that you didn't do ghosts. But this is different. They aren’t people. I’m being haunted by bugs. Huge beetles with sharp teeth.” An edge of panic crept into his voice. “Every night they come crawling out from under my bed and start biting me, taking big chunks out of my flesh. But no one believes me, because…. Because…” “You have no scars,” I noted. “Yes.” He said, deflating. “Insects don’t leave ghosts.” I said, sticking my hand into my suit, grabbing something from my harness, and bringing out a tiny, empty vial no larger than my thumb. “So you aren’t being haunted. At least, not by what you think you are. Interesting. Alright. I’ll see what I can do. But if this does turn out to be a ghost, I can point you in the right direction, but you’ll need to sort it out yourself.” I held out the vial. “Give me some blood.” He eyed the vial warily. “What are you going to… to do with that? You can make me do whatever you want if you have my blood.” I frowned. What he said wasn’t entirely true, but it meant he’d had experience with the old magics before. They weren’t secret or anything, but it was rare the Raven Kid’s sent anyone my way who already knew about magic at all. People just didn’t believe in it anymore. It wasn’t as useful as snapping your fingers and creating a big pile of cash. And there hadn’t ever been a lot of people that could do magic in the first place. “I’m going to help you. It’s what you called me here to do.” “You are a Brujas.” He said, “A witch. A real one. T-that’s what people say.” I cocked my eyebrow up at him. “What people? Who around here could possibly know me? How do you know about the Old Magic’s, Horatio?” He apparently decided that the last question was the safest to answer. Or perhaps this was his answer for all of them. “Mr. Banderas. He is a Curandero. He healed me a few years ago. I was… sick. I didn’t know where else to go, but he healed me. Made me believe.” I nodded. Medicine men could have magic, on occasion. The good ones. Doctors had it, too, sometimes. The ones that truly believed in saving lives, though they usually didn’t know it. “But he couldn’t help me with the bugs, so I came to you but he told me not to. He-he said---” “What?” “That you were a Bruja. That you stole peoples shadows and made them wander forever. That you had no soul, because you sold it to the devil. That you die if someone shoots you with a silver bullet.” I barked a laugh that was loud and sharp enough to cause everyone in the restaurant to turn and stare at me. Someone had been telling tales. Tales close to the truth, but not the truth. And close only mattered with horseshoes and handgrenades, as my father used to say. “Well I’ve nothing for you, then. And most things die if you shoot them, silver or no.” I pushed myself to my feet. “I guess this was a waste of time---” “No!” He said, and I saw desperation in his eyes. Interesting. “I can’t take one more night like this!” “Well, then.” I proffered the vial. After a moment's hesitation, he took it from me, and before I could hand him the pen knife I kept in my pocket, he had split his palm open with his fingernails, filling the vial with much more blood than I needed. I blinked at him, surprised, but took the vial back when he tried to hand it to me, and began wiping the sides down with a napkin. What a waste of good blood. “Good boy. And do you remember what I said about labels?” I said, leaning forwards, making sure he was looking into the black holes in my mask's face. “Call me a Bruja or a Witch again and you’ll wish you hadn’t. Other than that, we’ve a deal. I’ll stop these bugs for you, if I can.” He nodded, and then paused. “How much money do I owe you?” “I don’t want money.” “Then what do you want?” He said, gritting his teeth. “I’ll do anything to stop the bugs, but my soul is sacred, I will not---.” “Go to walmart and pick these up for me, please.” I said, handing him the piece of paper I had prepared. He looked down at it. His eyes scanned the paper, slowly becoming more and more confused. 

“Construction paper? Glue sticks?”
“Yes. Any sort of glue and paper is fine, but you’ll notice that I also asked for twenty boxes of crayons, and I think I’d like to insist on Crayola for those. I don’t trust the quality of some of the off brand kinds that are floating around these days.” He looked at me like he wanted to say something. “Is there a problem?”
“N-no. I can get these.”
“Good. Make sure you get everything on the list.” I hated shopping for school supplies myself, and my students were absolute fiends when it came to crayons. I needed to constantly resupply.
I had resolved not to be paid for the work I did, when I first started this years ago, but school supplies for twenty students were surprisingly expensive, especially on a teachers salary. I didn’t feel bad for this.
Horatio stared at the vial still in my hand, so I tucked it into my suit.
“Now get going. I’ve things to do. Meet me here tonight. I’ll tell you what I find and if I think I can stop it.”
He nodded, and slid out of the booth, stumbling to his feet as his knee caught on one of the legs supporting the table. I watched him walk out of the restaurant, and then stood up and left the opposite way. Everyone in the restaurant watched me go, though they pretended they weren’t.
Back outside in the sweltering heat I walked a few hundred meters away from the Taco Bell, underneath a billboard that advertised a sex shop a 34 miles up the road. No one was foolish enough to be walking around in this heat, so aside from the occasional car rumbling up the road, I was totally alone. I removed the vial of Horatio’s blood from my suit. He had been right. I could steal his shadow, or even sell his soul with this. Blood, freely given, was a powerful thing. But I had no need nor desire to do anything of the sort. I licked my lips.
My magic, my gift, was a tad different than the usual blood magics. For one, while it was polite to ask, I didn’t need the blood to be given freely. For the other, I could do all sorts of things with a vial of blood that other people couldn’t. It’s how I got my nickname from the other students all those years ago. A tad obvious, but all that you needed to have in Seminary was power. Imagination was not a requirement.
I unstoppered the cork and tossed the blood back like a shot.

I (13 M) have spent a while creating a birthday celebration for me. It starts on a Saturday, and goes onto Sunday. My birthday is on the Sunday. I'm having a few friends over to spend the night, watch movies ect. One of the people I was planning on inviting said "can we celebrate you're birthday on the Saturday, and mine on the Sunday" keep in mind that my birthday is on the Sunday, and his isn't until the following week. I denied his practically forceful request, and he complained to me along with the other people I am inviting. He complains that he "had already made planes to go to another place in town" on my birthday, the Sunday. Me nor any of my friends had heard that before, and haven't heard of anything about it since. This is the same kid who "slept on his arm weirdly" and got all his friends to do work, even without that excuse he still plays games during school. What should I do?

In short, Living Awareness is the creative ground of intention and intuition, and at the same time, it is the source of the sparkle, joy and vitality that we enjoy when we are in touch with our own being; it is our bridge to the creative ground, in which all things abide and from which they spring. More in-depth: to answer this question properly, we need to introduce another closely related term, that of Living Consciousness, as they go in tandem - Living Awareness and Living Consciousness, that is. Before going more into the details, let me say this: there is a whole book written around this area called Awaken the Living Awareness Within, so creating an all-encompassing answer in a relatively short space is quite a task - you can learn more about it here.
The terms Living Consciousness and Living Awareness arise from personal experience that best describe the aliveness of the experience of being alive, of being fully awake and aware whilst exploring the physical reality, the world around us, and the possibilities of human life by occupying the vehicle better known as the human body. Living Awareness is all about experiencing our core essence, experiencing life directly, experiencing reality directly, experiencing humanness in the most direct way possible; and Living Consciousness is all those experiences put together – from cosmic to galactic, to human, animal, plant, and so on.
In terms of consciousness, at the deepest level, there is but Oneself – One undivided Self; hence Oneself. There is but One all pervading Spirit; there is but one First Cause that has its Being of itself, and on which all other beings depend; there is but one Infinite Being, so there is but One Awareness. This is where Living Awareness comes in, for you see, both the individuation – the experience of being an individuated human being – a person, as well as Oneness of Life, Oneness of Reality, are experienced through Omnipresent Awareness. In this respect, Living Awareness knows itself by itself, in itself, as itself, through itself. It is this very recognition and acknowledgment through many different facets of the same that can be called Living Consciousness.
And because both Living Consciousness and Living Awareness are closely related to Self-Realization and its natural progression, Self-Actualization, let us add a little more perspective and context. Advaita Vedanta (Ancient Non-Duality Tradition) defines Self-Realization as the knowledge of the True Self – beyond both delusion and identification with material phenomena, defining the manifest material world to be temporal – an eternal play of shakti or energy; the immutable principle or the Ultimate Reality is beyond space, time, and form – therefore, it cannot be described, quantified, reasoned, or explained – all that exists on a differentiated basis can only be directly experienced as itself. Hence, the “outside” world that we perceive with our senses as being solid, and believe to be made out of a dense material – is actually existing in consciousness, which goes on to say that everything is happening within consciousness where the mind appears.
In other words, the mind is a localization of consciousness – believed to be located in the brain and situated in the head, which in turn is a part of the human body. The body itself is an image in the mind, and everything in the mind is happening inside consciousness. Therefore, the individuated, solid, dense, located entity called “I” – is the manifestation of an idea – created by the mind as a form of an image; this, in turn, takes place inside the mind – residing in consciousness, inside which a flame of Living Awareness infinitely flickers, you see? And if one pursues to find the ultimate nature of the mind, they would end up realizing that the ultimate nature of mind is that aspect of the mind which remains constantly present in its experience – this is the Eternal Essence that cannot be removed or excluded in any circumstances; in other words, it is pure presence – Infinite Living Awareness.
Living Awareness is too close to itself to know itself as Infinite Living Awareness, and therefore the only way to know itself is through individuation and the creation of the finite mind. The finite mind isn’t an entity as such, but rather an activity through which the Infinite is able to know the world. Therefore, the finite mind is the activity of Infinite Living Awareness, which has the ability to vibrate within itself – creating the form of the finite mind. This activity then makes it possible for the Infinite to know the objective experience – enabling the Infinite to know itself through the finite mind. This knowing is Living Consciousness, you see?
Living Awareness is the creative ground of intention and intuition, and at the same time, it is the source of the sparkle, joy and vitality that we enjoy when we are in touch with our own being; it is our bridge to the creative ground, in which all things abide and from which they spring. Living Awareness is shared with every particle within All Life, and thus Living Awareness is the Heart of Living Life – this eternal, Infinite Awareness observes every part of the Creation by utilizing Living Consciousness as the means; consciousness arises when awareness observes the Creation or any part of its many emanations – so in this sense, Living Awareness is also aware of itself as the other (mirror). In order for the Infinite to know itself as something that is finite, it has to pretend to be separate from itself – this is the way in which the Living Awareness creates consciousness through which we perceive the world around us.
If one were to ask how does Living Awareness differ from awareness, they would get an answer along the lines of: not by much, other than that of emphasis being placed on the experiential aspect of it – to differentiate between mere idea and something truly alive. Living Awareness is all about experiencing our core essence, experiencing life directly, experiencing reality directly. This type of experiencing is beyond all indirect methods we commonly depend on for knowing about our experience – such as thinking, sensing, reasoning, feeling, and believing. Just in the same way as intuition doesn’t need reasoning for it to work, so in the same way is the case with direct experiencing, you see?
Hence, it goes without saying that indirect experiencing is limiting in more ways than one. You see, our senses only give us indirect information, which means that we filter in the things that we are familiar with, and filter out the things that we have no prior knowledge or comprehension. And so it goes that the mind and the senses filter out the reality of pure presence – that of Living Awareness. And this is where the difficulty comes in: there is more to experiencing direct connection to all Life than any language could ever describe – language can only convey an idea of what direct experiencing is like, and because language cannot ever describe the true essence of our existence and our experience of it, we are forced to use sounds, signs and symbols in an effort to re-connect with the Life-force that runs through everything.
Learn more: https://www.infinitequantumzen.info/2023/05/what-is-living-awareness-beyond-consciousness-pure-presence.html Book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08NDT3GMH

Note: The college I'll be attending to prefers online auditions, hence, recording instead of in-person audition. Note 2: I've just gotten back to piano after years of deprivation. Yes, I am just about teen years, and my parents could only afford an 88-key piano just about a month ago. (My small keyboard broke and it was 6 years of sadness)
Small Info: I'll be applying for a Major in Piano at a college since I've been very passionate about Music my entire life.
Now I can't really find a YT video explaining the best way to record a piano audition video (mostly because most colleges prefer in-person), but I found myself a little stumped, especially with stupid questions.
Question Time!
Q1: What the best angle to record a piano audition video? Q2: One of the requirements is to play "Scales and Arpeggios", do they mean all scales and arpeggios? or just a few of them? (And which ones are preferrable?) Q3: How long does a usual audition video go for?
PS: Please go easy, you can read Note 2 again. Thanks!

I'm a Diablo veteran who played all Diablo games for probably thousands of hours combined. When I played the D4 beta I liked what I saw but was cautious. I liked the open world, the pretty looks and the darkness of it all.
But none of the classes really caught me; I tried them all but couldn't even really decide which I want to play. Overall I was rather disappointed about the feel of most of the abilities, I was missing the cookie cutter gameplay. Or the hint of different possible builds aside the mainstream. Nothing stood out as particularly exciting.
But then I realized that the meaty, haptic feel of D4 comes at a price: facetanking and melting everything makes it feel much less visceral. Now I'm thinking maybe all those classes and builds have to feel somewhat less rewarding to make sense in this game.
And with all the changes to the itemization like the aspects & "build you own legendary" where suddenly rares finally matter again, the helltides and tree of whispers, all that content to explore – I'm finally looking forward to finding out which class I like best after all.

Is it possible to get in to UP Law and ALS even if you did not take your undergrad from UP or Ateneo? For those who passed were you an alumni of these schools? For someone who did not graduate from the Big 4 is it possible?
I was an average student in my undergrad and I want to know my chances in entering the top law schools, as both only admits a limited number of students to their programs. It also does not help that their evaluation process is very discreet. I don't have any idea of how much is weighed from undergrad grades and the entrance exam scores.

Prices are negotiable but do not include shipping. I will offer better deals and priority to those looking to bundle. Minimum purchase is $10. Add $4 S&H for individual games. Let me know if something doesn't seem right.
ONLY accepting PayPal Friends & Family for payment. Might be willing to meet in the Sacramento area for a larger purchase, and would then also accept cash. If you would like to trade, come check out my GameSwap post!
​

PLAYSTATION
PlayStation	DarkStalkers 3	BL - CIB - Minor Staining	$69
PlayStation	GranStream Saga	BL - CIB - Water damaged rear art	$28
PlayStation	Legacy of Kain "EIDOS" Collectors Edition Triple Pack	SEALED - This one does have some minor wear to the corners/seal as seen in the pics.	$320
PlayStation 2	Final Fantasy X Brady Games Strategy Guide	Very worn. Has tear in front cover. No poster.
PlayStation 2	Final Fantasy X -2 Brady Games Strategy Guide	Moderately worn. Has smaller tear in back cover. Includes Poster.	Both Guides for $20
PlayStation 2	24 The Game	BL - CIB	$8
Playstation 2	Crazy Taxi	BL - CIB	$10 PENDING
Playstation 2	.Hack Infection	BL - CIB - Cover art has some water damage	$18
Playstation 2	.Hack Mutation	BL - CIB - Missing DVD	$35
PlayStation 2	Guitar Hero II	BL - CIB	$5
PlayStation 2	Guitar Hero Guitar Hero Encore Rocks the 80's	BL - CIB	$6
PlayStation 2	Myst III Exile	BL - CIB	$6
PlayStation 2	RPG Maker 3	BL - CIB	$15
PlayStation 2	Wheel of Fortune	BL - CIB	$5
PlayStation 3	Ace Combat Assault Horizon	BL - CIB	$13
PlayStation 3	BlazBlue Continuum Shift Extend	Limited Edition Big Box - CIB - Includes Soundtrack, Art Book, and Calendar. Box has heavy wear. Everything else is pretty minty. Game case has some minor shelf wear.	$13
PlayStation 3	Dark Souls II	BL - CIB	$6 PENDING
PlayStation 3	Diablo III	BL - CIB	$5
PlayStation 4	500 Million Dual Shock 4 Controller	Loose - Has crack in center but otherwise, pretty nice with very low usage.	$60
PlayStation 4	7 Days to Die	BL - CIB	$10
PlayStation 4	Call of Duty Infinite Warefare	BL - CIB	$5
PlayStation 4	Dead Cells [Action Game of the Year]	BL - CIB	$25
PlayStation 4	Evolve	BL - CIB	$5
PlayStation 4	Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8	BL - CIB - Spine damage/tear	$9
PlayStation 4	Middle Earth Shadow of War	BL - CIB	$5
PlayStation 4	Nascar Heat 3	BL - CIB	$6
PlayStation 4	Resident Evil Village Deluxe Edition	BL - CIB	$25
PSP	PSP 3000 Box and tray only	No PSP included. Box has moderate to heavy wear with some creasing.	$25
PSVITA	Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 Plus	Loose	$22
PSVITA	Wipeout 2048	Loose	$18
			Take both Vita games for $35 shipped

​

XBOX
Xbox	Blowout	BL - CIB	$5
Xbox	Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban	BL - CIB	$10
Xbox	Indiana Jones and The Emperors Tomb	BL - CIB	$15
Xbox	Pac Man World 2	PH - CIB	$8
Xbox	Return To Castle Wolfenstein Tides of War	PH - CIB	$5
			Take all 5 XBox games for $35 shipped
Xbox 360	4GB - 360 Slim Console	Includes OEM power supply and controller. I can probably include an HDMI cable if needed.	$69 - I will include one free game listed below priced $10 or less and I will toss in a couple free mystery sports games (CIB)
Xbox 360	250GB - 360 Slim Console	Includes OEM power supply, controller and Kinect. I can probably include an HDMI cable if needed.	$89 - I will include one free game listed below priced $10 or less and I will toss in a couple free mystery sports games (CIB)
Xbox 360	Dead Space 3	PH - CIB	$5
Xbox 360	Dragonball Z Ultimate Tenkaichi	BL - CIB	$15
Xbox 360	Fable 2 Limited Edition	BL/Boxed - No special features disc - Includes manual	$5
Xbox 360	Fable 3	BL - CIB	$6
Xbox 360	Forza 4	BL - CIB	$6
Xbox 360	Grand Theft Auto 5	BL - Boxed w/map	$5
Xbox 360	Halo 3 Limited Edition Steel book	BL - minor damage. Includes sleeve and manual, but no book..	$15
Xbox 360	Hitman HD Trilogy - Premium Edition	BL - CIB - With slipcoveartbook. Moderate-Heavy wear.	$20
Xbox 360	Mortal Kombat	BL - Boxed (No Manual)	$5
Xbox 360	NBA Live 2010	BL - CIB	$5
Xbox 360	NBA 2K18	BL - CIB	$20
Xbox 360	Portal 2	BL - Boxed (No Manual)	$5
Xbox 360	Test Drive Unlimited	BL - CIB	$12 PENDING
Xbox One	Battlefield 4 Steelbook Edition	CIB - Has some dings.	$10
Xbox One	Battlefield Hardline	CIB	$5
Xbox One	Call of Duty Black Ops III	Loose	Free with purchase of other XB1 game(s).
Xbox One	Dark Souls 3	CIB	$9
Xbox One	Madden 22	CIB	$5
Xbox One	Prototype BioHazard Bundle	CIB	$36
Xbox One	Rare Replay	CIB	$10
Xbox One	Skylanders Trap Team	CIB	$30
Xbox One	UFC 3	CIB	$5
Xbox One	Watch Dogs 2	CIB	$5
Xbox One	Wolfenstein The New Order	CIB	$5

​

NINTENDO
Gameboy	Ren and Stimpy Veediots	Manual Only	$5
NES	Bart vs The Space Mutants	Manual Only	$8
NES	Gradius	Manual Only	$10
NES	Mega Man 1	Manual Only	$60
NES	Mission Impossible	Manual Only	$5
NES	NES Advantage controller	Manual Only	$5
NES	Zodas Revenge	Manual Only	$10
NES	Kung Fu	Loose	$12
NES	Ninja Gaiden II	Loose	$12
NES	Skate or Die	Loose - Worn/snagged top label	$4
NES	Wizards and Warriors III	Loose - Worn/torn top label	$24
NES	Game Genie	Loose - Chip in handle	$15
SNES	Buster Busts Loose	Manual Only	$7
SNES	Hey Punk! Are You Tuff E Nuff?	Manual Only	$10
SNES	Lawnmower Man	Manual Only	$5
SNES	Mega Man X	Manual Only	$17
SNES	Rocko's Modern Life	CIB (box, cart, manual and tray. No other inserts) Box has some heavy wear and the manual has some creases. Cart is nice.	$125
SNES	World Heroes	Manual Only	$8
SNES	Game Genie	Loose	$29
N64	N64 Console	Loose - Includes OEM expansion pack and gray controller. No poweav cables.. yet.	$80
Wii	Just Dance 2017	BL - CIB (Inserts)	$14
Wii	Just Dance 2018	BL - CIB (Inserts	$14
Wii	Goldeneye 007	BL - CIB	$12
Wii	Metroid Other M	BL - CIB	$15
Wii	Rec Room Games	BL - SEALED	$13
Wii	Red Steel	BL - Boxed (No Manual)	$4
Wii	Red Steel 2	BL - CIB	$12
Wii	Wii Sports - Resort	BL - CIB	$30
Wii	Trauma Center Second Opinion	BL - CIB	$8
Wii	U Draw Studio	BL - CIB	$Free w/ Instant Artist
Wii	U Draw Studio Instant Artist	BL - SEALED	$13
Wii U	Legend of Zelda Twilight Princes	BL - SEALED	$160
NDS	Red Super Mario Bros 25th Anniversary Edition DSi XL	Loose - With charger. Does have some minor wear and teascuffs on corners.	$80
NDS	Spiderman Shattered Dimensions	Loose	$10
NDS	Spyro The Eternal Night	Loose	$10
NDS	DS Lite Car adaptecharger	NEW - Power A branded, Nintendo officially licensed.	$9
NDS	DSi XL Stylus 5 packs. One of each color set available	NEW - Power A branded, Nintendo officially licensed.	$5 ea. or both for $8
SWITCH	Pokemon Scarlet and Violet Edition OLED Switch	NEW	$350
SWITCH	BloodRayne Fresh Bites	NEW - Includes card	$45

​

SEGA
DREAMCAST	Crazy Taxi	Loose - Lots of scratches but works!	$15

I'm afraid that in the next stage, there will be unequal groups... Matt is clearly leaning towards the group of guys (he's taking an open path, and Steve initially mentioned wanting to take that path too, where a bow would be more effective in open terrain), so there will be four strong survivors who will work together... In the second group, everyone will probably play for themselves, and the girls as weaklings, might start dropping out...

Turns out Alan Kohler is One of Us:
Rose, “Love the podcast. We’ve been approached to invest directly in a start-up during their first capital raise, pre-revenue. This is totally new to us as we typically invest in companies via the stock market. We see it as a high risk, high reward type investment, but love the potential to be involved in a company more directly and support the founder’s vision. What general advice would you give to a newbie angel investor about this type of investing?
Well, after we sold our business, the Business Spectator and Eureka Report and I got a bit of money, I invested in five start-ups, thinking that, you know, the deal with start-ups, only sort of 10 per cent of them work out, one in ten work out.
You were hoping one in five?
I was going for one in five. I thought, all I need is one of these things to take off and I’m right.
And…?
And all went bust.
Right.
All of them, it was a bust from start to finish. So, Rose, investing in one start-up is a 10 per cent play, about that.
You’ve got a one in ten chance.
You’ve got to know that, Rose. This should be money you are happy to lose.
Yep, totally.
You can do all the due diligence you like and she’s talking about reviewing the pitch deck and taking it to lawyers, accountants and financial advisers, you can do all of that, in the end it doesn’t make any difference. This is high risk, most start-ups don’t work, maybe this one does and the whole thing with venture capital is that the one that works, works really, really well and more than pays for all the other investing that you’ve done that didn’t work.
Yeah. The one thing I’d say, is investing pre-revenue, so that’s before this thing’s made any sales, the other thing you could consider is most start-ups need multiple rounds of investment, so maybe you can say, “Hey, come back to us for the second round or the third round and you can see this thing, how it develops a little bit.”
​
https://www.eurekareport.com.au/investment-news/housing-supply-supply-supply/152577

I (21m) met my best friend (19f) here on Reddit through a community. And I gotta say out of everyone I've met she's been one of the realest. She is honest and stuck around longer than any others I've met here. We grew very close telling each other things about our personal lives we don't even tell our family. However lately I think things are taking a turn for the worse..idk if it's just me being paranoid and over reacting but lately it seems like she's distancing herself for some reason. Leaving me on read, telling me goodnight but staying up for a few extra hours, taking long time to reply when normally she doesn't. Maybe it's just me. I understand she does have a life and I get that I do she's her own person i can't control her. But I can't help but shake this feeling im losing my best friend.
Some may say im very attached and your probably right. After high school a lot of my friends stayed out of contact and I haven't heard from them since graduation. I could always try and make friends but I am so damn awkward around other people I probably stick out like a sore thumb. I got along with her so well cause she felt like in the same boat and we just clicked. I'm scared of losing her tbh she's the only person I have in my life who is outside of family and I've never been very comfortable speaking with family about things so its nice to have someone outside who gets me yknow.
Do I have anything to worry about? Should I ask her if there is anything driving a rift? I appreciate anyone who read and I appreciate any advice given.

I've recently returned to school after a five-year long hiatus, and I'm busting my ass to make stellar grades that'll look good on a medical school application. I'm in community college now to save money and transfer credits to a university to finally finish up my Bachelors. I have this really nice professor who teaches creative writing in an online course - essentially a filler class for my General Education degree that I nonetheless am really interested in - but he doesn't grade anything or provide any feedback whatsoever. To be clear - this class is for credit and we will receive a grade on the standard scale (from A to F) when the class is complete. He has communicated that it is possible to get low marks in his class, and that he does eventually look over some of the completed work to determine our grade. But while we're taking the class, we have no idea if we're doing the assignments to his liking or performing at the level required of the course.
When students questioned him about this practice, his explanation is essentially that "school is for learning, not for doing" and that we should be invested in learning and not just getting the grade. I agree with that to some degree, but I also have to be extremely vigilant about my school performance, especially since I've been out of the game for so long. I feel like if I bring this up to him after he already explained himself, I'd be getting on his bad side. On the other hand, I could end up with an A or an F in this class - and I won't know which or why until the grades are posted. I am putting in the work and turning in assignments on time, but who knows? I could be completely off-track.
How do people deal with the idiosyncrasies of their professors? Lack of consistent feedback has been a recurrent issue since I've returned to school (my English teacher last semester didn't grade a single one of the 5 assigned essays until the final week, when it was obviously too late to improve your approach). I'm struggling to figure out the etiquette when communicating that certain things just aren't working - without seeming like I'm trying to challenge the working patterns or preferences of a professional. I'm just imagining how stupid it would look to admissions teams for someone who works as a copywriter to get a C in a writing class.
TL;DR: I'm finding it challenging to deal with a lack of feedback in online courses and approaching the issue in a way that doesn't reflect poorly on me.

This is my first time writing..and I don't really know how to express, so...it's okay if u wouldn't understand... So, we have been dating for 3 months(I am 19 and he is 20)...and...it's very overwhelming for me to deal with him now, because he just dosent wants to understand, he dosent knows how to respect my boundaries..I am going to be honest with y'all, u see, my past has been way too terrible, and obviously I cannot share everything with him...and I did once tried to, and his reply was "that's it? Only this much has happened? Everyone goes through these things in childhood" and I was like...oh....whenever I try to share things that are bothering me, he is very dismissive. And when I don't share, he's like "why don't u share anything with me?", and I am like "????". Every other day he msgs me that I am changing, and I not treating him well, and what not.i feel bad too, I just don't express because I know he will start playing victim and will just say "you will also leave me like everyone else does". He even messaged me that "why don't u make me feel loved", this message, this just hurt me soo damn much. I still told him that I will try everything again, I will fix everything and I just...I just don't know. Why is he always like this. Sometimes, when I am sleeping or I don't pick up his call, he just starts calling my friends asking them where I am. Isn't it too much? It's not that I avoid his calls, I have work to do, and when I told him not to call, he just got passed about this. I am just too frustrated right now. In a relationship, both the person has to grow, he tells me that he is growing because of me, but I cannot say the same because he has pushed me back to that dark place, from where I dragged myself out. I know a relationship cannot always be 50 50, but this relationship has always been 80 20. I just can't handle it anymore. There are many more things that I haven't written here because my hands are shaking so much. If I am wrong somewhere, please tell me. Thank you

I want to preface my statement that the nudity and salacious nature of the series is not an issue for me. As a devoted defendant of early Larry Clark, Lars Von Trier, and more obscure anime films, Sam Levinson's work seems mild to me.
My problems with the show are what kind of musician Joslyn is and who her managers are.
Because they are indirectly refrencing Britney Spears, from her pop vibes to her visual aesthetic, Joslyn feels very outdated. If we were to compare her to contemporary artists: Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Beyonce, and Rhiana, Joslyn seems out of place. The modern artist succeeds due to her sense of relatability, compared to the 90s aspiration of idolism. I feel like Joslyn wouldn't be as popular of a musician if she existed today. I feel that this could have been resolved, IF they had set her in the 90s as a Britney replacement.
That is my primary issue with the series. My secondary issue had to do with the writing. I originally thought the premise was interesting, but after watching it, I was greatly disappointed, aside from a few visually stunning scenes.
The first half of the show felt like defensive writing. We know Levinson does this because of what he wrote in Malcom & Marie. Malcolm trashed an LA reviewer, refrencing a real-life bad review that Levinson got for Assination Nation. In The Idol, it felt like he was making up a bunch of explanations to justify Joslyn's character and used the female agent's character to voice it. I personally don't think it's needed. If you're going to be salacious, then don't be afraid to be condemned for it (something Larry Clark would never have done). What sge also said didn't make sense. I could have gotten over it if it actual was logical. The team's treatment of the nudity clause was illogical, and lawsuits and contracts would have been broken, which would cause more money and issues with Joslyn's team going forward. If these are experienced business people, the choice to lock up a messenger wouldn't resolve anything. Maybe if the show was set in the 90s, I'd forgive their lack of care, but being modern times, they'd know better. There are a lot more issues with the writing throughout the entire episode, including misinterpretation of submission/erotic asphyxiation, but you get the point.
With better writing and a proper period setting, I feel this show could have potential.
Edit: grammar

Are there any solicitors who also tutor at uni for evening classes?
Just wanted to ask if it is worth pursuing since apparently it is a lot of work and the pay does not justify the effort. From my understanding you get paid 3 hours for every 1 hour you teach in class. 2 hours prep work does not seem that far fetched but would love any insight.