Anthony fantano divorce court |

Background: my narcissistic cheater husband left me, our newborn, and toddler for AP two months ago. He took his stuff from our brand new house and moved in with a friend. Im traumatized, devastated, beyond hurt. He does not care one bit and has been very cold and cruel since leaving. I have decided to not engage in any in person communication with him. All communication is done through email and text and is kept to the very bare minimum necessary. Every time I get a text or see him in person I have an uncontrollable visceral reaction, panic attack that lasts hours. I completely ignore him when he comes to visit the children and promptly leave. He leaves when I return. He also completely ignores me.
He started out visiting the children at our home three times per week, that has since decreased to two times per week, and now only once a week the past 2 weeks. He visits 6:00 to 10:00 pm per his own request. I have not denied him access to the children. He has never requested to visit on a weekend.
I am going back to work on Sunday after being on maternity leave. I work night shift 7pm to 7am three times per week, different days each week, I’ve had this job and schedule for 9 years. A week ago I emailed him my work schedule and asked him if he intended on taking care of the children when I work, and if so, to let me know if there were any days he can not be with them so I can make other arrangements. In the email I requested the following boundaries: for him to arrive by 6:15 pm, if I work a weekend (when he is off) to stay until 3 pm the next day so I can sleep, to not leave any personal belongings in the house- as this is my safe place and I would like to avoid triggers, to clean up after himself and the kids, and to sleep in the guest-room and only use the guest bathroom. He has not responded to my email. He told his mother I sent him a “bad email”. Are these reasonable boundaries?
A week ago he also agreed to venmo me money to cover half the cost of summer clothes for the kids, a double stroller, and formula. I have not yet received any money.
He was supposed to visit the children tomorrow. He canceled via text today and gave no explanation.
I intend on sending an email tomorrow asking again if he will be taking care of the children when I work (which is in 2 days!!!!!) and when I can expect the money he promised. If he doesn’t respond I guess I will have my mom stay with them?
I also want to address two other points in the email.
When he does come over to the house he barges in through the garage door talking to the kids like nothing is wrong. I think this may be increasing my anxiety. I would like him to start knocking on the front door when he arrives and waiting for me to let him in. He does not live here anymore by his own choice. He does still pay half of the mortgage. But this is my safe space. I would not just barge into where he is staying. I feel like this is just another way he is trying to exert control and disrespect me. Is this a reasonable boundary to request? I tried to change the locks right after he moved out but he was able to change the ones I changed because his name is on the mortgage.
I would also like him to remove the remainder his things from the garage within the next 2 weeks. Seeing his things is triggering for me. If he doesnt move his stuff I want to throw it away. Is that appropriate?
I would really like to be able to be no contact but that is not possible at the moment due to the children. The friend he is staying with does not allow him to have visitors. The kids are also so young I feel more comfortable with them staying in their own familiar environment with all of their necessities. I also know that our home is properly childproofed and they are not around people I don’t know/ am not comfortable with.
Sorry this is long and Im extra. Im devastated and Im trying absolutely everything to heal so I can be functional for my kids. Trauma dumping here is one of those things. I’ve been gaslit and manipulated for so long I question everything. I just want to do the right thing for myself and my kids. I have a lawyer and am in the beginning stages of initiating a divorce but do not have any court orders yet. Any additional suggestions for boundaries/ tips for enforcing welcome. Thanks.

Can I just skip the mediation and negotiating and just go to court and let the judge decide custody matters? So far I’ve been going through a divorce for almost 2 years but he keeps contesting/changing his mind and we have to go through negotiations again and I’m just done

if she didn’t feel comfortable having her mother and sister involved (who when she found out she was pregnant told her they hoped her baby died) I wound up throwing the baby shower with her two friends. Her friends did the decorations and I paid for everything else. A month before the party my brother called to tell me that his wife was going to have her mother and sister do the decorations. I had a huge problem with this as her mother and sister are extremely narcissistic and had previously made their wedding day an absolute nightmare and centered around themselves vs the happy couple. I told him that wasn’t my offer and that I was only throwing it because her mother and sister were so awful to her, and I wanted to ensure that they were able to have a day they would enjoy. If she wanted them to throw the shower I wouldn’t mind backing out of my position and letting them throw it, that’s her mother after all. But I would not be collaborating with them for the shower and footing the entire bill while they make this about themselves or potentially sabotage the shower. My brother understood and I was reassured that it would not be the case and that he and his wife still wanted me to throw the shower and that they’d shut down MIL’s offer. The day came and even though her mother and sister were in attendance everything went well, besides a few comments. They even told me how nice the decorations were. I should have known if they paid me a compliment it wasn’t an honest one.
My brother called me a few months ago crying telling me he wanted a divorce from his wife. They were currently in court for a restraining order against his MIL and FIL for battery and for snatching the baby away from his wife. His wife decided she didn’t want to go through with the restraining order and wanted it dropped for her and their baby and it sent my brother into a spiral about his relationship. She threatened to sue him if he included the baby in his restraining order against her parents. As his sister and someone who cares about him, I told him the truth. I told him his wife was a selfish person who doesn’t care about his feelings or his daughter’s safety if she could betray him like this the week before the court date. I told him that she doesn’t love him, only the idea of having a husband and that she treats their newborn daughter like a doll rather than a person. If she cannot stand up for herself now, she never will. And that because she will not draw these boundaries with her family she cannot be trusted. My brother agreed and told me that he sees her as less of a person to do this to him and that the only reason he’s staying is because he’s afraid that they will turn his daughter against him. I reassured him that if he wanted to leave her and to move into my home that he could. Along with the standard advice of separating his money and bringing over any items that cant be replaced. During this phone call my brother agreed with me that she was “a selfish bitch” and informed me that his wife had her mother and sister do the decorations and her friend pass them off as her own for the party. I was absolutely pissed to find out this information about the shower as that was my only condition and I spent a good deal on this shower to make it nice for them (2k in total). I told him I was done with his wife( this is not the first shitty thing she’s done) regardless of if he stayed with her. I do not want her in my home, and I will not be going to theirs. He can call me or come over and see me anytime he likes. Because of how his MIL attempted to get CPS involved at the hospital with false allegations, I can no longer babysit their child. (I have a career that requires a license, and an open CPS case would mean I may not be able to renew)
He also told me that he wanted me to go to their final court date for the restraining order and immediately afterwards wanted to move his belongings out of their home and into my second bedroom, and that he “couldn’t wait to get a full nights rest and the f** away from this bitch” I was relieved he wanted to leave her as honestly I can’t take the crying phone calls and drama anymore.
The night before the court date I called my brother to get the information on which court room and to confirm the time. As I had a high stakes biopsy being performed in the Drs office that morning. During this phone call my brother told me that he no longer wanted me to come to his court date and that he wasn’t “blowing up his family for me” He told me he would let me know if he needed to move in and then hung up on me. I haven't heard from him in 2.5months.
I don’t want to lose my relationship with my brother as he’s my only surviving family, however it seems like I don’t have a say in that decision. Which honestly really hurts my feelings after everything I’ve done to help him in life. He calls me incessantly complaining about his wife, MIL& SIL but doesn’t seem to care much about what I have going on in my life (the biopsy). I also feel like he’s weaponizing the relationship between his niece and I, like he was afraid would happen to him if he left his wife. I feel like now that I have established boundaries of no longer watching the baby and I no longer want a relationship with his wife there’s nothing left to use me for. He called me crying that he wants to leave his wife and now somehow it seems I’m the asshole for supporting him and offering him a way out. Am I wrong?

This year’s NBA Finals is already historic. The Heat are the first play-in team to claw their way out of a 44-38 record and 8th seed to land themselves in the NBA Finals. The Nuggets have never made a Finals, had the best record in the battle hardened West and the city is absolutely stoked. What are NBA heads saying about the series? What are fans around the world hoping to see? How are coaches going to keep these ballers away from Denver’s number one trending story of the year: Shotgun Willie’s Gentleman’s Club, which infamously siren songed the Grizzlies’ Ja Morant into stacking cash on every inch of the private dance room? Slap a booty and get ready for the last NBA basketball of the year.
1 - How to stop Nikola Jokic?
The two time MVP is having yet another killer season. He’s been, arguably, the best player in the playoffs of all time. He’s averging a triple double on 29.9 points, 13.3 assists, 10.3 rebounds and around 1 block and 1 steal per game. This guy can do it all and has undoubtedly contributed to the Heat coaching staff’s lack of sleep. Luckily the state just decrminalized a fanny pack of plant based drugs that may help.
Everyone knows how much the Heat love running zone defense. Can the zone even stop Jokic? Doubt it but the Heat are going to try. They run a fluid 2-3 zone which can flow directly into a 1-3-1 formation. The Heat need to pack the middle of the floor and push Jokic to the sidelines on the pick and roll using their 1-3-1. If the Heat can keep Jokic out of the middle of the floor that limits his options on the center-point guard pick and roll that he runs to perfection with Jamal Murray. Look for easy rebounds and putbacks on the weak side from Aaron Gordon and Michael Porter Jr.
Can the Nuggets outshoot the zone? Damn right they can. Will they? We’ll see. The Heat run out and defend every single three point attempt. They held the sharp shooting Boston Celtics to 30% from 3, down from 37% during the regular season. However, this series may be won from the three point line if the Nuggets can run and the Heat can get Butler into the lane for kickouts.
2 - Who can guard Jimmy Butler?
Aaron Gordon most likely. We will see if he’s too slow to stay in front of Jimmy. If Butler still has that nagging injury he’s been battling the past two series that will help out AG. There are a couple bodies that the Nuggets can throw at James Effin Buckets. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is an underrated defender with sneaky strength. Reggie Jackson is rusty but used to be able to defend at a high level. Bruce Brown has the heart of fiesty chihuahua but he’s too small. Jamal is too small too. We’ve all seen what Jimmy’s done to smaller guards, he’ll bully his way to the lane and make defenders look stupid with his pump fakes, footwork, interior passing and little chip shots. If Jimmy gets stuffed this series, who will show up for the Heat?
3 - Malone vs Spo
Erik Spoelstra has solidified his standing as one of the greatest coaches of the era, possibly all time. This will be his 6th NBA Finals since taking over the reigns from Pat Riley in 2009. I have no doubt that Spo has some tricks in the bag and having the Godfather on speed dial doesn’t hurt either.
But Malone is no stranger to NBA legacies. His father Brendan was an assistant for the champion Pistons in the late 80’s and then again with the Knicks Finals run in 1999 and the Reggie Miller Pacers in 2000. Michael himself was an assistant during LeBron’s first Finals in 2007. So he does have some experience here in the promised land.
This coaching matchup will come down to, you guessed it, in-game adjustments. Each coach’s ability to change on the fly will be crucial to finding the weak points in each other’s schemes. Every possession will matter in these games. Look for Malone to push the pace with his crew and try to get some quick transition buckets before the Heat can set up their defense. Jokic excels in the rebound-and-go game. In the half court, Malone will try to move Jokic around to different points on the floor and it will be especially interesting when he puts Joker back to the basket in the post. He has the passing, vision, strength, length and creativity to be dangerous that close to the basket.
Spoelstra on the other hand will walk the ball up, play through Butler and try to swing the Nuggets defense from side to side. Expect him to set up Duncan Robinson and Max Strus on the wings where they can be dangerous driving or shooting the three off the Butler-Bam Adebayo pick and roll. Kevin Love can still knock down an open jumper and may have some post move tricks up his sleeve. But he’s so old he can’t even drive a golf cart anymore. Love can be another big body that Spo can put on Jokic to give him different defenders.
4 - Bench Scoring - Who will shine?
The bright lights may burn the bench guys but some will bask in the glory. Kyle Lowry is due for a big game after struggling against the Celtics top tier wing defenders. The Nuggets don’t have the bench defense to hold down all the Heat shooters so we will see a game won by a Heat backup, like we’ve seen in plenty of games so far this playoffs.
The Nuggets bench has issues. Jeff Green is too old. Christian Braun is too young. Reggie Jackson and Thomas Bryant have yet to work their way into the rotation. DeAndre Jordan is a mascot. However, expect some decent minutes from…Vlatko Cancar if the Heat bench is outperforming Green, Brown and Braun. Cancar can guard Love and Robinson. Really this Nuggets bench goes how Bruce Brown goes. If he has a hot game on both ends, the bench looks unstoppable. If he withers like a winter flower then the Heat bench will dominate like they’ve done all year.
5 - The crowd, the altitude, the experience, the refs
Intangibles. The stuff numbers can’t measure. The Nuggets crowd will be loud, fired up and intense. The Heat crowd, not so much. They’ve been spoiled over the years, show up late and leave early. They do wear the white shirts though which looks nice but makes the empty seats even more noticeable.
Do players play worse at altitude? Short answer, yes. Long answer, it depends. The altitude will effect the Heat at the beginning and end of games. The biggest concern is dehydration which means keeping the Heat out of the club and focused on basketball. Heat culture will play a big role here with everyone, top to bottom, 100% ready for each game.
The Heat have much more experience in the Finals than the Nuggets. They have two NBA champions in the rotation in KLove and KLow, three if you count the corpse of Udonis Haslem. They also have a few returning from their 2020 bubble Finals against the Lakers where they lost a heartbreaker to an Anthony Davis fall away three. This grizzled Heat team will be angry and hungry but what else is new? Their Finals experience may end up being the overriding factor in this series, especially among the coaching staffs. The Heat will stay calm and collected even with the intensity through the roof.
Finally, the NBA’s middle management, the refs. Who does the NBA want to win? What will revenue more? This is a coin flip. With the Lakers, Knicks, Celtics and Warriors all on the couch, gone fishin’ or 1-2-3 Cancunin’, the refs will likely call this series as even as they can. A Jokic ring would be the icing on the cake for Eastern European basketball which hasn’t ever had an MVP champion.
So who ya got? The Nuggets in 5 seems like a solid bet at +225 against a hobbled Heat team. But if the Heat push it to six and get back home expect them to finish hard and force a game 7. Heat in 7 is +1000 and it’s tough to bet against them the way they’ve defied all odds.

Hi it's my first time posting, and my therapist felt like this was a good place to seek advice. Sorry for a long post, and it being all over the place! I was SA by my half brother when I was between 7-9. It happened for a few years bc I never got the courage to tell my parents. I also didn't say anything bc at the time before it happened he was a good older brother and I had a lot of trust in him. (So needless to say I have trust issues with men.) Anyway my parents eventually found out and he was taken to court. I was not sure what really came out of it just that he was no longer around.(did do therapy as a child) Fast forward to my teens I was at the time wanting to seek him out, and ask him all the questions why he did this to me. Never found him and my parents knew nothing about it. So I kinda was like maybe I wasn't meant to get my closer. (Shrugs) again fast forward to my 20's where shit hits the fan. Apparently my father was in contact with his son (parents are divorced and have been divorced since I was about 11/12 something like that). I was getting on with my life still dealing with depression, anxiety, PTSD and all the fun stuff that comes with that. Apparently my jackass of a half brother decided to write my mom a letter from jail ( he was in jail so some other reason) to apologize to my mom for what he did to me. I kinda lost my shit and my panic attacks had gotten worse. I told my family not to tell the asshole anything about my life. My parents kept in contact with him in jail and HELPING HIM OUT!! ( he supposedly found religion and blah blah blah) Needless to say it made me hurt even more that my parents forgot him and more my father was helping him out. ( yes I also have issues with my father.. different story) come to now the asshole is now out of jail. The reason I know is bc one my mom told me and 2 Facebook popped up on people you may know and his fucking picture pops up of him smiling. So seeing that I have been brought back to everything I have delt with and the constant crying, panic attack, feeling unsafe and self harm has come up to 100%. I have tried everything to help (and my husband has been an amazing support to me and will be forever grateful to him) I just can't get over this feeling of feeling unsafe and the constant panic of feeling the asshole may try and reach out. Any advice or support would be helpful. Thanks again sorry for the long post.

All this started almost 9 years ago. One of my friends told me that he and his wife saw her getting into an hotel with another man (his wife tried to convince him to not say anything, because "it was not their business" and got angry when he told me, but he said he couldn't keep being my friend keeping in secret something like that).
I made my moves, hired someone to follow her, and got all the evidence I needed, she was cheating on me. I had all the evidence I needed, even her social media, everything. Only after having everything on my favor, I confronted her.
I told her that I knew everything. She denied it, of course. I show her captures from her chats and texts. She kept saying those werent hers. I showed her lots of stuff, and she denied everything to the point it was ridiculous, all while she claimed that I was an awfull husband for thinking she would do that and not trusting her. I showed her photos of she getting in and out an hotel, and kissing that man, and she started to cry.
She started to say all the classic shit a cheater would say when they're caugth. "Is not like that" "is not my fault" "you dont understand" "it was your fault" "I was lonely" "I never loved him" "you're never at home".
I told her to stop. I didnt wanted to listen to her, she was a liar, a cheater, and I didnt trust her. I told her I wanted her out of my house, that I already talked to a lawyer and we were getting divorced. Then, her tears and begging dissapeared and she started to get mad, saying I had no rigth to do that, asking why Im not figthing to get her back, that she would not accept it, and threated me to take my kids and the house if I wanted the divorce. "Courts are always on women side" she said. I told her that she better start looking for another place.
The following days were hard. She was disgusted for being caugth, and mad because I werent trying to save our marriage. Me, on the other side, told her daily that she must leave, that our marriage was over. That only made her beheavior worst. But the day I completely lost it, was when I heared my daughter crying. I got in that room, to find her on the floor crying, covering half of her face with her hands, and her mother standing next to her, screaming at her that "she was no one to judge or question her" and "I'm your mother, I'm always rigth".
My daughter heard us, and asked her why I wanted the divorce, and she blew up against her and slapped on her face. A full force slap to an 9 years old girl. I lost it. I dont know how furious I must been, or how I looked, but my wife stopped her tantrum, and started to be afraid of me.
I told her that she must leave that nigth, if I came back and she was still there, there would be consecuences. I took my daughter and my son to my parent's house. I took her to the hospital and took photos of her face.
Next day, she was still there, asking me to talk, to be reasonable. I left. I wanted revenge, I wanted blood, I wanted to hurt her way worse the way she hurted my girl. I started by sending all the evidence of the affair to the wife of the other guy. He was a guy with a lot to lost, and that not only gave him a lot of problems, it made it lost friendships and contacts, and started the gossip about them. That afternoon my wife called me, hysterical, asking me "How could I do that" that "I had no rigth to expose them". I told her that it was just the begining, that I had enough of her. I wanted her out of my life, or this would go worst.
The good thing about being married, is that you know all the secrets of your partner, and I used every single one of them to take her down. I kept the house and the kids (hurting or daughter made her look dangerous to be in charge of the kids). After it was over, she moved with her mother. Then I send everything I had to her family.
She was raised by a single mom. Her dad cheated on her mom and abandoned them, so, it's a very delicate subject on the family, and knowing that she was just like him, made her situation worst. Her mother kicked her out of her house, and the brother only let her stay on his place a couple weeks, because "he was disgusted of her". She tried to get help from the guy, but he was on a worst situation that her, so he threw her away like trash.
She ended up moving to a little appartment, started to work to pay the bills, and slowly started to be miserable. Her friends stopped talking her, her family didnt wanted to see her, our children resented her. And thats only the second year of all this.
She tried to date again, just to find guys who used her and left, or took advantage of her. For what I knew, she slowly descended on depresion, and her old food issues returned.
She believed she touched bottom after the third year, so, she joined a church. One of those "rebirth christians" who promised her that all her faults and mistakes would be forgiven and forgotten after she was born again inside their faith. That ended up being another mistake. She found out very late that she was surrounded by some of the most toxic people, who as soon as they knew about her past, started to talk bad and spread rumors about her, took advantage and humilliate her.
She had nothing.
5 years after everything started, she came back, basically begging on her knees to forgive her. She cried how sorry she was, how much she regreted everything, that she had nothing, no family, no friends, nothing, she doesnt remembered being happy since the divorce, and how much she missed me, our family, our marriage, how happy she was with me, with us. She promised me that she would do anything, that she would obey me blindly, she wanted her life back, our family, our kids, and she would do anything to fix the worst mistake she ever done.
I'm aware I'm not a good person. I still resented her, so, I asked to prove it. How I could know she was being honest? She told me she had nothing to offer, except for her obedience, heart and body. I took her to the room and had sex with her. She not only never said no on any moment, her face reflected genuine happiness, and she ended up crying out of happiness after we finished, promising me she would do anything for me, that she would dedícate her life to be the perfect wife.
The following days, I set the rules, and made her sign a contract. She accepted everything. She was serious about doing anything.
To the outside people, we are a couple that, after lots of issues, found the way to have another chance. They look at us and see a lovely couple. She managed to slowly rebuilt her relationship with our children. But the reality, is that she basically became my slave.
Dont get me wrong. I'm not physical abusive, or have her locked, or isolated. We go to events, dinners, movies, vacations, she now have the life she used to have before all this. But she have nothing, and I make sure she never forget that. Nothing is at her name, she doesnt have job or any money, and she agreed on not trying to find a job and dedicate only to the home and the kids.
Her phone doesnt have password, and I have acces to all her social media in any moment, and she always have to show me where she is and what is she doing, on any moment I ask. She doesnt have voice on the important desicions, she cant complaint. And she accept it, because she knows she has nothing else.
Sometimes she asks me to marry again, she wants to be my wife again, but she signed that we would only do that, after our younger son is 25. When she ask me, if all of this is still necessary, I always tell her the same answer, "Yes, bacause I DONT TRUST YOU". Those words are enough to take her down. I've made sure she understands, that even though we live together, and I'm giving her this chance, we're not together. I'm still single, and if I want it, I can start dating on any moment I want. I've even brought women into the house a couple times, to test her limits. She has no choice but to shut up and accept it.
Even so, the moment I touch her, the moment I kiss her, she gives herself completely to me, desperate to feel me close, to feel I love her.
I'm not a good person. I'm sure of that, because I dont regret anything I've been doing. Its been almost 4 yearsvhaving her like this. For a revenge, it should have be over long ago, but I like to own her this way. I learned to enjoy having all this power over her, and she is honestly happy living like this. I cant hate her anymore, but I dont love her, and I'm not sure if I can.
My daughter is now 18, and my son 15, so, I still have 10 years to learn to love her again before marry her. But, if I found after all that time that I cant, I maybe just throw her again, say to the outside people that it just didnt worked, live my life on my own while she try to figure out what she would do. Meanwhile, I will enjoy how she works hard to be "the perfect wife and mother" she still want to be.

A while ago before I was red-pilled, I was already interested broading my horizon of fantasy books and unfortunately ended up on the god-forsaken Fantasy Subreddit. Here, I was taken in by the insanity of Critical Race and Feminism. For this reason, I wishlisted books which contain woke leftist or elements like LGBTQ characters and sTRoNg Wamen or are written by female or just woke authors like N.K Jeminism. After knowing better, I try to avoid books with such characteristics, but I heard many good things about those books. For this reason, I want some book suggestion which are "woke" but are also entertaining on their own even if you don´t agree with their politics.
I also want to add a list of books of which many are woke but I want to know if these are actually good:

Books from N.K.Jeminism
Song of the Lioness by Tamora Pierce
The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
Books from Sarah J. Maas
The Poppy War by R.F Kuang
The Murderbot Diaries and The Books of the Raksura Series by Martha Wells
The Sparrow by Maria Doria Russel
The Golem and the Djinni by Helene Wecker
Books by Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Green Bone Saga Fonda Lee
Books by V.E Schwab
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
Imperial Radch series by Ann Leckie
Dragon Prince series by Melanie Rawn
Fortune's Pawn by Rachel Bach
The Coldfire Trilogy by C.S. Friedman
Sword of Shadows by J.V. Jones
Crown of Stars Series by Kate Elliott
The Obernewtyn Chronicles by Isobelle Carmody
The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu
Books by Anna Smith Spark
Books by Anna Stephens
Books by Stehpen Baxter
Tyrants and Kings by John Marco
Acacia by David Anthony Durham
Black Leopard, Red Wolf by Marlon James
Books by Adrian Tchaikovsky
The Invinsible Library series by Genevieve Cogman
Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde
Daggerspell by Katharine Kerr
Book of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau
Essalieyan Series by Michelle West
Kushiel´s Dart and The Sundering series by Jacqueline Carey
Crown and Court by Sherwood Smith
Binti by Nnedi Okorafo
Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
Mermaid's Song by Alida Van Gores

I (28m) really struggle with being alone, and I'm trying to get more comfortable with it. To be clear, I'm by no means a shut-in; I have a healthy relationship with my parents, 2/3 close friends that I can talk to about my problems and really trust, and I have had a few stable relationships with women and don't have too much of a problem getting intimately close \see below regarding relationship issues*.
The issue, however, is that I don't tolerate being alone very well without distracting myself. I get anxious when friends don't text back quickly. I constantly check my phone because I want to be validated and see if my texts have been responded to, and I have to respond to texts back quickly myself because I feel a vague but intense sense of pressure to respond quickly. When I'm courting or getting to know a potential romantic partner, I quickly become reliant on their constant contact and I can self-sabotage if I don't get immediate, constant reassurance.
Googling 'Abandonment Anxiety Symptoms' describes me really well. I don't know why I would have the issues since as far as I know, I don't have any major childhood trauma and I have stable relationships with both of my parents. I feel loved and cared for by them.
I want to tolerate being alone better, so that I can be more self assured. I like who I am from a logical perspective, but emotionally I seem to be really uncomfortable/insecure left on my own.
Problem is, online articles seem to only list way ways that a self assured person already thinks: "Love yourself, do things you like, don't focus too much on others etc". And it's like, yeah duh but if I was doing those things, I wouldn't have this problem.
How do I take actionable steps towards getting into that mindset of self assuredness? This issue is consuming a large part of my life.

P.S. I do have some relationship trauma, my ex-wife had an affair two years ago and I'm still in a place of not trusting others as I divorce her, but these issues have been with me since childhood and didn't not arise because of my wife's actions, even if that made them worse.

Asking for a friend - this is an Alberta specific situation as I know the rules vary by province.
So we've got a situation with a periodic lease, was signed 3+ years ago with a start date but no end date, and rent has not been adjusted since (sweet deal, I know). It is a basement suite, has its own address & mailbox, separate entrance, and a proper Alberta lease agreement was signed by the 2 owners and the 1 tenant at the beginning.
Suddenly the couple who lives upstairs & owns the property is getting divorced. One of them will be moving out, the remaining one will be staying and has demanded to terminate the basement lease ASAP so a friend could move in there.
They dropped a letter off earlier this week (not sent by registered mail and my friend was out of town so no physical hand-off) stating 90 days' notice of lease termination, move out by Aug 31st. From that point it looks like this, I'm paraphrasing but this is all in writing (text messages) - sorry for the novel.
Letter dropped off at front door - 90 day notice to vacate dated May 27th
MAY 31st:
Tenant: "I got your notice - what's the reason you're asking me to move out"
Landlord: "I already told you, I want the apartment available"
Tenant: "OK, ideally I would like to have a bit more time to find a new place. Can we agree on Dec 31st?"
Landlord: "No sorry, I need you out by Aug 31. I have given you your 90 days' notice"
JUNE 1st:
Tenant: "I understand your situation but I spoke to the Tenant Board and they confirmed I'm not obligated to move out in 90 days if it's not for one of the specific prescribed reasons for terminating a periodic lease. Please reconsider my Dec 31 offer".
Landlord: "I only have to give you 90 days. I will call Tenancy Board to confirm, but you need to find a new place to live"
Tenant: "OK yes please do that, I called already and confirmed I'm only obligated to leave in 90 days if it's one of their prescribed reasons, so I'm happy to speak to them again if they say anything different"
Landlord: "Oh you have a cat? There's my reason, my kid is allergic".
Tenant: "My cat is permitted as per my lease" - screenshot included of appropriate page of original lease.
Landlord: "You don't have a lease. When did you sign a lease?"
Tenant: "In 2019 when I moved in, your names are on it too. Here's the whole document."
Landlord: "Why don't you just move out"
Tenant: "Why don't we have a joint call with the Tenant Board and get this sorted out"
Landlord: "Because your landlord is taking over the whole property, you have to move out. I can get a court order for Aug 31."
Tenant: "Did you tell them it's a separate basement unit?"
Landlord: "You're just mad because you're not going to be living so cheap anymore".
Landlord: "We can definitely do a joint call. Just spoke to Tenant Board again and you're right about the reason for notice. so I can't ask you to vacate because I want someone else to move in."
Tenant: "OK, like I said, I'm happy to move out given a bit more time. What about November 30th"?
Landlord: "I will be putting a RENT INCREASE NOTICE on your door ASAP, that will be effective September 1st. You'll have to pay whatever I want, there's no cap on what I can increase it to"
Tenant: "I am aware".
Landlord: "Plus half utilities" - (utilities currently included as per lease)
Tenant: "That's fine. Get me the notice please"
Landlord: "Just move out. I'm bringing you another notice to vacate and I will be moving into the basement unit myself".
So I know they are correct in saying the rent increase is totally uncapped, that's fine, and I'm assuming you can't really request "proof" that the landlord is planning to occupy the basement themselves, you can just see them potentially fined AFTER the fact if they were dishonest. Any other options or negotiating tactics we've missed here?

Divorce was finalized two weeks away. My son and I are insanely close. There could be 50 people in the room and he won't leave my hip. Im a singing happy cuddly big bear of a man to my son. Love of my life that little man is. I need some advice even though it's early on. It's June 1st, I get him one weekend a month and starting September I get every other weekend. My ex said she would never deny me of him after the divorce. I feel I was really played. Since the final, shes been denying him of me. My attorney said she has no obligation anymore, I believe I may need a new attorney. I think he's just exhausted of her to be honest which I get. I've read I can petition the circuit court. Anyone have any best practices. I can't miss these best years and months of his life. It kills me and makes my stomach turn seeing his pictures and knowing I can't hold or see him at night. Its been tearing me up bad. Being a dad is all I want to do now that we had him. Any advice on what I could say to her, the courts, anything. I'm ready to do whatever it takes. He's most likely my only child ill ever had. Thanks dad team!

And within an hour the texts started. How dare I? Im not trust worthy. He sees my true colors. He’s going to drag this on in court as long as he can until he bleeds me dry. He’s putting a restraining order out against me… I said please stop. And then blocked. I know this is a scare tactic but damn this is so stressful. If this is what the rest of the divorce will look like?
Also i think the restraining order, if it exists, is to keep me from entering OUR home. Knowing him he wants to scare me into submission and the way my nerves are right now I almost want to… I did send the texts to my lawyer. Not sure if he can do anything with them but wanted them at least documented somewhere…

Anthony fantano divorce court

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