Lofts store near me

hey! hopefully it's alright to post this here.
so my girlfriend (19) and i (20) are each other's first sexual partner. she had another brief s before me but they never did anything sexual, and she's my first partner. we've been together for 11 months now and i've never had an orgasm happen without a vibrator.
when she goes down on me or fingers me, it feels great but it's just not an orgasm. i tell her where it feels best and things like that, but no matter how long she does anything, nothing happens. it just feels good - and it's the same thing for her as well. i did make her orgasm once, but it took a really, really, really long time! i got the vibrator to help both of us but it turns out that she's really sensitive to vibrators and gets super ticklish, meaning that i can't use it on her at all. so now i get to orgasm (with the help of the vibrator) but she doesn't, and it's really bugging me.
i don't think us being each other first sexual partners is a big factor is this, since we've been together nearly a year and having sex a lot. but hearing my friends talk about how good sex with the partners are (straight or otherwise) makes me really wonder what we're doing wrong. some of our friends are also first timers at sex so i'm just perplexed!

Hi! I’m visiting Taiwan and here until next Friday 6/16. I’m from America, and only speak english.
I came with a friend who is local to here, but he unfortunately got covid on DAY TWO of our trip and now has to rest and isolate for a few days so I’m on my own, don’t speak mandarin, and don’t know where to go/what to do.
I went to the Taipei Zoo the other day solo and then was able to figure out the train on my own so I rode then walked to Taipei 101.
I love the areas in Taiwan so much they’re beautiful and I love the happy culture.
But not speaking the language is scary and even a simple transaction at a convenient store is scary for me and makes me nervous.
I’d love to meet up with people if they are available? I’m solo for the rest of today as well as tomorrow, possibly even Thursday before I regain my friend (hopefully).
Or even recommendations on where to go and do? I’m not really comfortable traveling TOO far on my own.
I’m staying near Taoyuan City and the Bade District. Thanks for reading and hope to meet some people, get recommendations, and more! Would love to get food or explore, and hopefully you are able to communicate in english? 🥹

There is this guy I've been chatting to on insta for about a month now. He has a job which requires self promotion on insta and he had quite a large fan base (over 200k) so obviously I was flattered he replied to my messages.
We've been messaging almost every day for a month now. He's asked questions about my personal life and likes nearly my messages, including ones where I've been obviously flirty.
I sent one recently apologising for being overtly flirty and he replied saying if he doesn't reply it's not because he's ignoring it, he's just not seen my message yet (I never get left on read and he normally replies within a day, occasionally its instantly but his job does keep him really busy....more busy recently than normal).
I can't work out if he does like/fancy me or is just really good at managing his fan base. The other thing is I'm a lot older than he is (15+ years) and he has plenty of younger gorgeous women following him who I'm assuming are hitting his dm's (l'm told I'm attractive but you know how it is, all i see is my flaws).
I don't think he's aware how much older I am although he knows I'm older and I know my knowledge about his area of work is really useful to him although our conversation doesn't revolve around that...hes asked what I do for work, where I've been going when I've been off away for weekends and talking about films has become a bit of a thing (totally unrelated to his work).
I'm driving myself insane trying to work out if he likes me or if hes really good at PR. I'm the kind of girl who wears my heart on my sleeve and tells people how I feel but I don't want him to disappear and stop talking to me if I do tell him. I am way to old to be acting like a teenager but I just don't know whether I dare believe he could be interested in me!!
Help a girl out with some advice please?!!

U know what really bothers me and concerns me about Ava now is the fact that when u text them in game concerning a situation u may be having they never bother to respond back one thing about the previous owners we always got a response! Which brings me to saying this how can I feel comfortable spending my hard earned money on a game that doesn’t have the decency to respond to our complaints or anything in that matter is pathetic I’m a vip and did not receive my monthly free gift have reached out and still no response this game I feel is gonna crash and burn very soon we gonna wake up one day and Ava will be gone out the App Store and will get away with running off with our hard earned money smh like let’s be real even imvu has a contact number where you can literally talk to someone on the phone concerning and situations or problems u may have in the game! Avakin literally has no customer service number where u can physically talk to someone in their company which is why me as an adult will not give this company another dime I’m fed up I don’t know bout ya but I’m done

Pink has always been my favorite color. I love all shades of it and like it on literally everything. Everytime when I'm around pink, it feels ethereal. It makes me feel pretty on the inside, light, pink hearts come to my mind, and it's safe. Back when I was a teenager when I was 14, we were at the paint store painting our walls and we me and my brother got the choose our wall colors. I chose pink, but my dad wouldn't let me get it because it was a girls color, and I ended up getting stuck with a ugly beige called walls. I was very limited to the color pink as a teenager I couldn't do much. I knew immediately when I move out and get my own place I can be as pink as I want to be, and that's exactly what I did.
Like no joke, I painted all the walls in my home bubble gum pink, I've wanted to do that for so long but never been able to. Not only that, I've been collecting pink items over the years. Sometimes I just buy things just because it was pink. I also have pink casual clothing. If I could, I would wear pink everyday. I never gets old or boring.

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A/N: Everyone's a Catgirl! Volume 1 just launched Kindle Unlimited, eBook, and paperback! Thank you all so much for your support!
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I know I shouldn’t have expected Portia to still be there, but I was still a bit disappointed and somewhat uncomfortable by the time we arrived at the Desert Rose in Kandota.
“She is not here,” Cailu said with a raised brow.
“Yeah, I know. I see that. Just, uh, give me a little bit to find her.”
“Perhaps she is on her ship,” Cailu continued.
“Let’s check there,” said Tristan, nodding. “This place probably lost its luster pretty quickly. If she’s not there, then we can split up and look for her.”
“Yes,” Cailu said, mirroring his nod, “a fine idea.”
Sure enough, Portia had stripped down to a black bikini as she sat on the edge of her sloop, fishing rod in hand, feet kicking in the wind. She’d grown awfully tan since the last time we saw her—well, more so than usual. Her skin glistened like bronze, beads of sweat littering her body. She adjusted the bottom piece of her bathing suit, exposing incredible tan lines.
Portia gasped and threw the fishing rod behind her before she shot to her feet. “About time you showed up! What in the heck were ya doing? You know how long I’ve been waiting here?”
“Yeah, I know, sorry—” I started.
“Uhh, buh-buh-buh-buh,” Portia interrupted with her index finger held up. “No. No, boy. You listen to me. I am not your personal—” she suddenly stopped, her brow furrowing deeper. “And who… who are these other people?” She inhaled slowly, her eyes widening. “No. Don’t tell me. They’re not coming with us, are they?”
“They’re, uh… coming with us.”
“This boat will not be suitable,” Cailu said, his arms crossed.
“Oh, it’s you,” Portia said, hopping into the shallows. “One loss wasn’t enough for ya, huh?” Portia’s smile continued to tug at one end of her mouth. “Probably don’t even remember me.”
Caliu tilted his head in apparent thought. An expression of realization swept over him. “Ah, yes. You played a fine game of cards. Ages it has been since I was so thoroughly defeated.”
“Wanna go another game? My wallet’s feeling a little light,” she said, wading through the shallows and stepping onto the sand, her eyes digging daggers into me. “Ya know, since someone left me here ages ago and food ain’t free.”
I avoided her gaze.
“What was that you said when you left? ‘This won’t take as long as Shi Island.’ Are you kidding me?”
“Sorry, Portia. A lot of things came up.”
Portia sighed. “I’m sensing a pattern here.” Portia readjusted the strap of her top and put her hands on her hips. “I thought about packing up and leaving.”
“My sincerest apologies,” Tristan offered as he stood forward, a hand on his chest. “We would have contacted you sooner, but the task proved to be much more difficult than we thought it would be. Cailu here,” he gestured to the elf, “assisted us and made sure we saw it through.”
“Hey, okay, fine, cool it.” She looked at me once more. “Always with the eloquence, this one. Hey, you. Matt.” She pointed at me. “This is a sloop, not some grand ship employed by the Queen. We were struggling enough just to make room for yours and Tristan’s Parties.” She did a quick count, frowning deeper with each person she pointed at. “And you want to add three more?”
There’d be no easy way out of this, so I simply nodded my head.
“Yeah,” I said. “We would, uh, need to add three more people.”
Portia set her jaw. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. You owe me big, Matt.”
“Mou ii. I’ve got you covered, Portia. For everyone.” Ravyn snatched a sizable bag of Bells from her pack and waved it in the air. “This should help the days we’ve been gone, too.”
Cailu raised a hand and started to say, “I will also—”
“No. You won’t.” Ravyn cut him off. “I’m done owing you shit.”
He stared at her thoughtfully but said nothing else.
Portia reached forward and grabbed the bag, sliding the leather cord to the side and sifting through the Bells. Taking a few out to examine their color and size, she nodded. “This doesn’t let you off the hook, Matt. Not yet.”
I sighed with relief. “Thanks, Portia.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just get on board.”
“Matt,” Cailu said as he set a hand on my shoulder. “May I have a word?”
Oh, great. What is it this time?
“Yeah, sure.” He took me behind a nearby building and leaned against the wall. “What’s this about?”
“A sloop may not be appropriate for the journey to Nyarlothep. I would suggest we port on San Island and embark on a ship from there.”
“Why?”
He frowned. “The tides and Encroachers are vicious, Matt. There is always the potential for a Defiled attack. Portia’s abilities aside, it puts our Parties at great risk. A stronger escort is necessary.”
“Are you sure about that?” I rested my shoulder against the wall opposite. I was grateful for his advice, but what had started as personal advice was starting to sound more like my dad was trying to control the whole ride there. Don’t make me turn this boat around. Frankly, I was getting sick of it.
“Yes. Portia has the right of it. Such a vessel is unfit for an alliance of our size. We risk capsizing the sloop or worse with our numbers.” He glanced around the corner of the building before looking back at me. “I understand if you are attached to Portia. But I must stress the importance of our mission.”
“Right.” I couldn’t stand what I was hearing, but I couldn’t fault him either. If the waters were even half as dangerous as Keke and every other catgirl had told me it was, then his warning of an attack was valid. If that happened, combat on the sloop would be dangerous. I didn’t need any nautical training to know that. “So then, what, you want me to say goodbye to Portia, too?” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth.
“Is that what this is about?” Cailu stood away from the wall, straight-backed and imposing in his [Paladin] armor.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean that. Yeah. I know you’re right.” Ceres’s words echoed in my head. Pride tarnishes even the finest of heroes, Kelmer. “So, San Island, then?”
Cailu drew a long breath. He looked like he wanted to say something but abstained. “Allow me to speak with Portia for a time.”
“Why?”
“If she has gained your trust, then I would have her with us when we collect the ship.”
My heart soared. “So, she would be a hand on the deck?” Did I use that term right?
“Aye, that is correct.”
I couldn’t hide my relief. “Then, yeah. Go ahead.”
Cailu nodded and returned to the group. I followed close behind, curious as to what he was about to do. When we returned, Ceres was asking Portia questions about her time away.
“Portia,” Cailu stated.
Ceres stopped mid-sentence and backed away with a bow.
Portia frowned. “What?”
“Matt has informed me that you have been the one to escort him and Tristan around Nyarlea. Is that correct?”
“And the girls. Don’t forget them,” I added.
“I did not.”
Portia smiled. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“Do you have experience on larger ships?”
“Quiz me. I won’t get a single question wrong. My dad was the best there was.” She chuckled. “Named my sloop after him, in fact.”
Cailu rubbed the stubble of his chin with his pointer and thumb fingers. “I have expressed to Matt that a sloop is unsuitable for the journey to Nyarlothep, considering our numbers.”
“Nyarlothep?” Portia’s eyes narrowed in irritation. “Matt, you could’ve led with that.”
“I will ask this. Is this sloop suitable for the journey?”
“No,” Portia said without hesitation. Cailu glanced at me while Portia continued. “If that’s where you need to go next, Matt, then you’re going to need a full-blown ship for that. Especially if you still want to bring everyone here along.”
“So, we have to part with Portia?” Cannoli said, her voice thin.
“Sorry, all,” Portia shrugged. “I can take you somewhere else if you want, but even so, taking this many people on a sloop makes me uncomfortable.”
“How tragic,” Kirti mused.
“Quiet,” Cannoli hissed.
Cailu sighed. “Matt trusts you, and you have managed to escort him to each island on a sloop. So I would like to offer you a position on one of my ships,” he said. As Portia opened her mouth, Cailu interrupted with his hand up. “It would be temporary. You would not be under any obligation to stay on board once we have been delivered to Nyarlothep. Your sloop would be taken care of during the journey.”
“A real ship, huh?” Portia wore a complicated expression. I thought I saw sadness, confusion, anger, and frustration in the way she worked her jaw and wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. Fine.” She extended her hand. “It’s a deal.”
Cailu reciprocated and shook her hand. “We have an accord.”
Once everyone was on board, we set sail for San Island. There was barely any room to stand, let alone walk.
I stood behind Portia for a while. She was quieter than usual, and while I knew it was probably none of my business, I still wanted to know what was going on in her head.
“Hey, you doing okay?” I asked.
Portia took her time to respond. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Her eyes were on the ocean, but her mind seemed to be somewhere else. “Pops always promised to take me on a galleon one day. Just wish he could be here for it.”
“Did he teach you much about them?”
“About as much as a man without a lick of artistic talent could show me.” Portia laughed. “We’ll see what I remember.”
“You can teach this guy without any artistic talent what you learned. I’ll be right here, struggling to keep my balance.”
Portia laughed. “Thanks, Matt. You’re a good guy.”
The rest of the voyage was smooth. We shared the story of Ichi Island with Portia, and with time, she returned to her usual scrappy self.
Two days later when the sun was setting, we arrived on San Island, my back screaming in pain. I longed for a good night’s rest in a comfortable bed with a few good drinks in my belly. We’d taken turns in the one extra cabin, earning about two hours worth of a nap each. I was too afraid of falling off the boat to sleep otherwise. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one, as there was a collection of yawns as we stepped out onto the Port of Meow.
“Gosh, feels like ages since I’ve been here,” I said.
“Nostalgic, huh?” Keke said, taking to my side.
I thought back to the fight we had right before stepping onto the port. We were bloodied from the battle with the fishcats. At the time, Cannoli looked like she’d seen a ghost. Now, well…
Yeah, I’ll just agree. Probably not a great memory to revisit— “Ye—”
“You mean when we were caked in blood?” Ravyn asked, half-laughing. “Very nostalgic.”
Why is she like this?
Cailu offered praise and smiles to the girls who approached us en masse upon our arrival. It was wild seeing him swap personalities in seconds. Words that sounded almost disgustingly charming came out of his mouth, his sour demeanor returning within seconds of their departure.
I still couldn’t stand this guy.
Cailu led us around the port’s lip. We passed by several merchant vessels, a wide variety of catgirls unloading crates from the neighboring ships. Unlike the ones earlier, these girls didn’t seem to care one way or the other about Cailu, Tristan, and myself.
“There,” Cailu said without stopping. “That is my ship.”
‘Large’ couldn’t even begin to describe this boat. It looked straight out of a pirate movie. Flags of white with the same emblem Cailu wore upon his breastplate fluttered in the wind. The wood was dark and suspiciously clean for a piece of wood that sank in the salty water all day. I didn’t have the words to describe what a gargantuan and beautiful piece of craftsmanship it was.
“What is that called?” I asked, pointing at the center flag.
“Oh, that’s—” Portia started.
“That—” Ceres interrupted.
The two apologized in unison.
“I forgot you liked ships, Ceres,” Portia noted.
“Yes, I adore them. As a kitten, I learned to build ships in bottles.” Ceres tapped the tips of her fingers together. “It was something of an obsession of mine.”
“Why don’t you tell Matt what that’s called, then?” Portia smiled.
“The main mast!” she proclaimed proudly. “The one behind it is the mizzen mast, and the last one is—” She stopped and smiled wide. “I shall give Sir Matt a hint.”
Oh boy, here we go.
Ceres’s boots clicked against the stones as she moved to stand in front of me, her hands behind her. “What precedes the word ‘after’?”
Picture of elegance, this one. Okay, uh, let’s see. “Before?” I cringed.
“Yes!” She turned and pointed to the mast once more. “Therefore, the mast at the front is called…”
“The… before mast?”
Portia put a hand to her mouth and snickered. “Close.”
I buried my face in my hand. “Just tell me.”
“The foremast!” Ceres said.
“You know your stuff, Ceres,” Portia said, smiling.
Cailu cleared his throat and stood before us. “Once I give the word, we will depart by sunrise tomorrow.”
“Hah?” Ravyn balked. “Can’t we just sleep in for one fucking day?”
My legs were killing me, so I raised my hand. “I second that.”
To my relief, Tristan also raised his hand. “Please. I am exhausted. I’d love to spend a day on San Island, anyway.”
One by one, we all raised our hands. Even Kirti.
Cailu sighed. “Fine. We shall rest for two days.”
“Two days?” I asked.
“Yes. It is important that we leave by sunrise. You may do as you wish until then.” Cailu departed, his cape billowing as he walked, Kirti at his side.
Tristan nodded to an expectant Zahra. She offered a bow and ran to catch up with Cailu.
In two days, we’ll be on our way to Nyarlothep.
​
Matt Pro Tip: We're nearly there. . . . but damn if I'm not looking forward to a night to relax.
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I’m not sure if i’m being dramatic and whether or not reaching out the HR team in charge of interns is a smart move. I was hired as an intern for a specific department and was told during the hiring process that interns, along with the rest of the team work normal hours and virtually twice a week. I show up the first day and while nearly every other intern gets to stay in the main office and network with each other and attend cool events, my summer project places me in a warehouse. I’m the only intern there working whack hours to match the production shifts and it’s fully in person. I was not hired to work in manufacturing. I feel like I’m not getting the same intern experience as everyone else, I’m missing out on all the cool perks, and I have less of an opportunity to network. My boss has been super nice, but doesn’t offer much guidance and I don’t see my project going very well. I want to reach out to the HR team in charge of interns and express how isolated I feel to see if there’s anything they can do, but I’m nervous it will backfire. Any advice would be helpful

TL;DR - My junior a legit female is just obsessed over me to the point i’m writing this post xd.
So there is this girl she’s like 2 years younger than me and she just likes me ( more like obsessive over me ) so much sometimes i think even more than my future husband/ boyfriend Xd.
So a year back i got this text & request from a girl after checking her pfp i thought she must be a junior because i may have seen her in school i accepted the req , didn’t follow back ( didn’t feel like it ).
After accepting her request she literally spam my inbox with “hii” “hii didi” “helloo didi” “hii” “aap kese ho?” i thought it must be a guy or she must have some urgent request from me lmao bc i know no girl who would text like that i followed her back and it was legit a girl ( she use to post and upload stories almost daily ) and i remember i shared school bus with her when we were really young maybe.
I’m in general nice to everyone i texted her thought she might stop at some point but she just didn’t stop adoring me man like it was kinda creepy and sweet at the same time bc it has never happened to me & i’m the most avg gal evaaa. So i kept asking her “do you want something from me?” “do you want me to recommend your name to some competition or something ? ” ( i was deputy cultural incharge at the time ) she said “no didi i want you” and i was like “ehen?” it was getting weirder and weirder with more i interact with her so i told my bestfriend of that time she wasn’t believing me how can a girl be that weird & nice to me lmao. She said to just ignore her which i was already doing but she use to litreally spam me with 10messages at one point , I literally use to reply very dry & rude but seemed like she didn’t gave 2 flying fucks about it T-T , she use to ( still do ) litreally tell me how her day went / how is she managing her studies etc without even questioning it , i told her you’re annoying as fuck please stop texting me & made her understand instead of wasting time texting me focus on real life things she agreed but didn’t stop honestly , i texted her sane sister about it she told me to ignore her & she is sorry about her behaviour, she told their parents about it she got scolded by her parents lmao which she conveyed to me & i blocked her.
She made another account & kept on apologising i litreally snitched on to her & i was like BROOOOOOOO? , She use to do the same thing with her new account now i didn’t even bother to reply her and i was going through some exam and shit so i deactivated my instagram.
Few days after i got a text & a call on Whatsapp from her and i was like WHOOO THEE FUCK GAVE HER MY NUMBER? Apparently she close near my ex bestfriend & she did man i was so furious literally cursed her because it’s just so creepyyyyyyyggyg next whats worse you can expect she came to my home ( my ex bestie gave her my address) as she apprantly wanted to “meet” me to “apologise” We met for like 20 mins ig i can’t be rude on face idk y also she’s just younger , stupid & cringey than me & after she came into my house before going out she came in for a hug kissed me on my cheeks 😭😭😭. I WAS SPEECHLESS
I told this to my bestfriend of that time & she literally died laughing & told me to we’ll meet tomorrow i’ll curse her from your account and i was like “fine” lmao idc. 💀
We both did bc i was kinda eeked also surprised/ shocked by that , yk wat she did she apologised to me for that , genuinely felt bad for her ngl , so now i don’t even open her texts i just give her dryest replies i possibly could & act like idc but lemme tell you she appreciates me alot that no one has ever did lmao, She acts the same way tho & idts she gives fucks about how i react lmao 😭. She still spams me with texts , i have stopped giving fucks about her. Also, did i mention she even make edits of me T-T. ( BRO TRUST ME IM MOST MID GAL EVER )
I’m writing this post bc yesterday she texted me she’s in amritsar and wanted us to facetime because she wanted to show me around.🗿

I (F20) went to the phone store today with my dad (M50). My phone has been acting up recently so I switched phone companies and I was just going back to the phone store to end my phone contract with them.
Turns out it’s against the phone company’s policy to switch companies WITHOUT ending your contract with them first. Because of that they were about to charge me the value of the phone ($1900). This was obviously a huge misunderstanding because my new phone company said there wouldn’t be any issue with the old contract.
Anyway, the guy at the phone store was explaining that I’d have to pay etc and my dad started flipping out in his face saying that the other company said there wouldn’t be an issue and that he was NOT paying. He was literally yelling in the poor guy’s face.
I work in retail so I know what it’s like to work with awful customers so I told my dad to leave the store and I would handle the issue. Once he left I apologized on behalf of my dad and asked if I could speak to a manager. The manager came out and turns out it was an east fix, I ended my contract with them and didn’t pay anything.
Once I was back home with my dad I straight up told him that his attitude in public is extremely embarrassing and the way he goes from 0-100 is something he needs to get a hold of. I told him he’s a grown man and screaming at a guy at a store without listening is extremely childish. He then told me that I was being disrespectful to HIM and accusing him of having anger issues when he “acts perfectly reasonably”. Now I’m “grounded” for being “mouthy” and bratty.
AITA?

We have been on ups and downs for almost 3 years now. I am not sure what “episodes” mean anymore because even with him being stable now it is always so fragile.. like if I say the wrong thing he gets so mad and yelling a lot
he was never totally delusional or near hospitalization (Well, he did got hospitalized but for drug addiction) Since the diagnosis we were fighting most of the time (we did have our good moments of course) and our problems are always about my behavior. It feels like everything is about me, not loving him not the great partner, not sacrificing for him…
He got out from the addiction hospitalization as a “totally different” person, as if the miracle we (BPSOs) dream so much about had happened. But 5 months go bye and Either he loves me so much and I am a goddess either he despise me and I am awful and we deserve better.
we were great for a month but he started complaining again and I started complaining a lot also, since my needs are not being met (as in more quality time for us as a couple without his kids or planning a kid that is ours and him being totally broke and we having to give up on our apartment). I “wish” that I could be happy with him without setting him off with my desires of seeing friends or wanting something that he does not agree I should. But im having lot of problems with our future landscape and this made him want to divorce again. (He used to use the divorce card a lot before).
Should I go on for a separation since he is not able to handle my demands without outbursts? Should I leave because him being bankrupt can not settle us well anymore and make us unable to plan a baby until he manages to sell his businnes (that could take a while? Im so lost and so sad, please help. I love him when he is being kind to me and doing things to make me importante but unfortunately that like less then 50% of the time. Am I being bichy on my complains?

So I got preliminarily diagnosed with endometriosis by my GYN when I was 25. Saw a specialist, they wrote me off. Decided to live with it vs having the exploratory/laparoscopic surgery to confirm it. I had I don’t even know how many ultrasounds that came back “normal” but almost always with ovarian cysts.
I’ve had multiple hemorrhagic cysts, and severe pain to the point where I couldn’t walk. I’ve bled during my period to the point I’ve almost fainted. Passed huge clots, etc. I’m now almost 30.
In the past few years I’ve developed cysts on my vulva and neain my vagina. They are painful and filled with blood or fluid and have become way more common in recent months. I always thought this was a separate issue but I finally looked it up tonight and it appears it is a “rare” symptom of endo.
Honestly just looking to see if someone else has had this, and even more so wanting advice how to get doctors to actually listen to me and not write me off…

Me: 5’8 166lbs Filipino living in SJ near Milpitas. I know a spot Please be around my age ;) Dm for snap
Asians++ hit me up

So, I've been trying to get the Deadeye title for the past few weeks. And I've ran into an issue that is severely impacting my ability to want to continue and even to attempt pvp any more. The shotgun triumph "close encounters". This singular triumph has cost me 43 consecutive hours of near non-stop crucible (every time I played d2 I would do it, obviously I wouldn't spend the full time just sweating over it) and a (possibly) broken right hand. I have read all there is to read, looked at all the possible videos, and read all the guides there are to see if there is a way to accomplish this triumph. And I did, 17 times in fact. But for whatever reason, it would never count as a completion (yes all kills were within the time limit and within the distance, I know because I was practically inside all of my opponents when it happened) does anyone know what may be causing this (bug?) To happen? And if anyone else has run into this what have you done? Because frankly I enjoy crucible quite a bit. But this one part is ruining it quite severely. And I know you can say "just don't do it" or "play something else". But this would be my first title in my entire time of playing (since launch pretty much) and it is genuinely ruining my experience. If anyone has any advice or anything please provide it and thanks in advance.

Read Chapter 1 Here
Previous Chapter Here
My other SSB story, Writing on the Wall, Here
I was sitting here in the dark, pantsless and writing (as you do), and I decided to check how far my progress was going on a few things. Turns out I was way past my "release a new chapter" threshold!
Enjoy the continued adventures of our favorite fuckups.
*****
“...about those sculptures. I know we told the Aboriginal Art Institute of Karnif that they could hold onto them for another two months, but apparently they are part of some shrine and the Governess of the South Pacific is getting on my case about returning them before a holy day.” Jem’si looked to his right, where his wife Torel was walking alongside him. She was his partner in more than just his marriage, and he was a little surprised to see that she didn’t have a pad out to take notes. “Are you paying attention?”
“Not really,” Torel replied. She had been strangely subdued, quiet all morning. On his left, his wife Keller tried to match pace. She was so much bigger than both of them that it was difficult, but she had a lot of practice and the halls of House Chel’xa’s ancestral home were a familiar place.
“Now.” Keller’s word was punctuated by her left arm shooting across her body to grab Jem’si by the upper arm. It was a firmer grip than Jem’si had ever felt from his wives, and for it to come from gentle Keller was doubly surprising. Before he could comment, Torel grabbed his other arm. The pair lifted and Jem’si found himself being dragged along, feet barely touching the floor.
“Put me down!” He tried to wiggle out of their grip, but neither woman seemed to be in the mood to play nice. “If you wanted to have some fun this morning you could have just asked!” Neither Torel or Keller said anything in reply, just continued to drag him along as his commands to be let go turned into pleading whines. They wouldn’t even look at him.
Jem’si wasn’t scared, not really. Just confused. He trusted his family utterly, and even as they maneuvered him out of the corridor, down a hall, and into an empty dining room he felt confusion more than fear. The room was dark, curtains drawn, and Jem’si let out a small “oof” as he found himself practically flung into a chair. The door clacked shut and he was plunged into nearly complete blackness.
After a few moments of sitting in the dark, trying to figure whatever sort of madness seemed to be running in his wives, Jem’si had enough. He raised his voice, put in every bit of commanding tone he had learned through years of Noble intrigue and business with Humans, and called out to the darkness.
“Well?!”
Light flared suddenly from the chandelier, dazzling his eyes. Fear froze his heart as he realized he and his wives weren’t actually alone. It began to thaw right back up as he saw who sat across from him.
“Why were you all sitting in the dark?” Jem’si tried to keep his voice casual.
“For the emotional impact,” Samuel Forsythe-Painter replied.
“Obviously,” Sammi Painter-Forsythe added.
Flanking the pair of tiny humans sat Elera Heleum and Marin Elbruk. Elera reached into her lap and leaned forward, placing something down on the table. It settled on the ancient wood with a dull thunk.
“The same reason I brought this,” she added helpfully.
Jem’si vaguely recognized the pistol. It was a massive hunk of silver steel with a barrel so wide he could stick a finger into it. The same gun that played so prominently in the story of that whole adventure in the frozen north. He hadn’t realized it had survived the rocket attack at the hotel, or that it had been brought to Shil.
Now thoroughly spooked, Jem’si glanced up at Keller where she stood next to him. She had brought him here, but surely she would protect him from these lunatics.
Keller looked down at him sadly, dark eyes showing little more than disappointment. “Sorry, Jem, you’re on your own.”
Torel was no better. She wouldn’t even look at him. When he glanced to the other side of the table, Marin nodded at Elera. The spikey haired Marine leaned her bulk forward and steepled her fingers together, the spindly shadows from her hands falling across the gun on the table.
“Lieutenant Colonel Marin and I had an interesting visitor yesterday. We’ve both been promoted, retired from active service, and given an Imperial Writ to deal with. It’s a great deal, really; we have been ordered by the Empress Herself to protect our little Human friends here.” With that, Elera reached out and gave Sammi what was likely intended to be a friendly pat on the back but nearly knocked the much smaller Human clear of their chair. “And, if things don’t go well, we’ve been ordered to kill them both.”
“I don’t really care much for that part,” Samuel said quietly.
“Samesies,” added Sammi.
“We’ve also been ordered to ensure that nobody learns about the OTHER project. You know the one.” Marin punctuated her statement by placing her own pistol on the table. This one was much smaller, more modern, but at least as deadly. She looked down at it, then glanced at Elera’s. “These are a really poor representation of our orders. Orbital strikes were mentioned.”
Jem’si grasped in his mind for the swordfighter’s calm he had cultivated the last few years, but it wouldn’t come. He had his ass planted in an oversized chair, was surrounded by people who meant him harm, and even his wives had abandoned him. The best control he could manage was to pull in a deep breath, swallow, and try to hold down the sour, sick feeling twisting through his guts.
“I really didn’t know what to do.” Elera put her hands flat on the table, and Jem’si, hyper-focused now on potential dangers, watched as the fingers on her right hand twitched. “So I figured I’d call the only person I knew who might have experience dealing with this sort of thing. Someone who might know why we were suddenly getting orders from the Empress after working so hard to keep this whole thing quiet.”
Keller’s huge hand landed on Jem’si’s shoulder, causing him to jerk. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to.
“The orders make sense, but they leave something very important out. So I’m going to ask you, Jem’si. I’m going to ask you as a holder of an Imperial Writ, ordered by the Empress Herself to ensure the security of the Painter Research Institute and the Lone Caribou Survival Company.” Elera’s hands were fists now and the light from the chandelier reflected in the tears forming in her eyes.
“What did you tell them? What happened to Stace? Is he even alive out there?” The questions seemed to hang in the air, and Jem’si wondered if the wrong answer would kill him. He had never doubted Keller’s loyalty before, but if the Empress said he had to die, would she stop it? He hoped so, but she had been a Deathshead Commando long before she became his wife.
In the end, he only had one response he could give. He swallowed again, cleared his throat, and hoped that the truth would keep him alive.
“I don’t know what’s happening on Nix. I reached out through Iria Stolsk, who often acts as a scientific policy advisor to the Empress, and I gave her everything I had. Much of it was technical documents from the PRI’s research, but not much more than what was used for the investor’s meeting.”
Jem’si cleared his throat again, then jerked in panic as a loud thunk sounded next to him. If Keller’s hand wasn’t keeping him in place, he might have bolted. Instead, he nodded his thanks to Torel and picked up the glass of water she had found for him. A couple of sips did little to steady his nerves; he would have killed for some of that flavored bourbon Stace made.
“As for the… other project. When Stace started making preparations, I gave him access to a highly encrypted data archive. It contains all of the notes Demir Chel’xa made during her time on Nix, all her observations of the people there. Every bit of video we had, audio clips of their language, topographical and seismic scans of the planet… House Chel’xa kept everything, and I gave all of it to him.
“When he started working on his own plans to save Nix, he was linked to that server. I don’t know if it was intentional or just Stace not knowing how he set up his accounts, but all of his notes were backed up to the same archive. I gave the Empress all of it.”
“But you don’t know what She decided. If Stace is being left alone or if he’s in a blacksite prison.” Elera closed her eyes and a single tear slipped free. “If he’s even alive.”
“No. I don’t know, but if the Empress meant to silence this whole enterprise, you wouldn’t have a Writ. You’d have a smoking hole in your skull.”
Elera nodded. “And so would you. We all would.”
“Why don’t we?” Sammi’s voice was so innocent, so free of the pain and fear everyone else seemed to be wrapped up in, that it seemed to shatter the tension in the room. Shoulders slumped, hands unclenched, and Jem’si had the sudden hope that, just maybe, he’d finish this meeting without throwing up in his lap.
Samuel spoke next. “It’s obvious that the Empress, if she hasn’t exactly given us permission for the Nix project, is at least willing to look the other way. I don’t know what’s going on out there, but I think we can count on Stace doing his thing.” He tapped his fingers on the table in a quick rat-tat-tat, blue-painted nails clicking on the wood. “The real question is why she would let us do it at all. Tons of risk with no real reward for the Empire, which is why we agreed to keep all this quiet in the first place.”
“My husband is a businessman.” Torel’s voice was surprisingly affectionate given the circumstances, and when her hand came up to ruffle Jem’si’s hair he relished the contact. It didn’t matter if his coiffure was ruined. “Even if he’s not the brains of the operation, he occasionally makes a deal.”
“The research you two have been doing; is it real?” Jem’si nodded at the two Humans at the table. “Can you really do that incredible line of turox shit you sold to the investors?”
Sammi let out a very undignified snort. “You have no idea. What the investors are getting is real, but it’s babytown frolics compared to what we could really do with it. We’re keeping the good stuff; I wanna see if I can turn a star inside out.”
“That’s… horrifying.” Jem’si felt on firmer ground now; the crisis had passed and he was going to live through this. “Well, I may have passed the word that the technological superiority you’re providing would put us decades, perhaps centuries ahead of the Consortium and the Alliance.”
He let the moment settle with a performer’s ease before dropping the punchline.
“And if we aren’t allowed to fix Nix it would turn out that you two didn’t actually know what you were doing. It would have destroyed House Chel’xa along with the two of you, but it would turn out we were huxsters all along.”
Samuel laughed bitterly. “And to think, if you actually told us your plan we probably would have agreed to it. Instead, we now have to deal with having two members of our family who have signed and sealed orders from the Empress of the Shil’vati to kill the rest of us. Not exactly something that makes it easy to maintain a relationship.”
Elera pulled herself to her feet before picking up the heavy Human handgun. She carefully checked it, then put it in her pocket. Marin followed her example and did the same with her own pistol, and the two Humans hopped down off their chairs.
“I am sorry.” Jem’si firmed up his voice, felt the old confidence start to pool in his chest. “For not telling you, I mean. I don’t regret what I did.”
“Of course you don’t,” Samuel said sadly as the group headed towards the door. “You’re Shil’vati. We’re leaving, by the way. Going home. It doesn’t feel right to be living off your charity. I’d tell you not to follow us, but we can’t realistically stop you since you own a third of the company.”
“Just know that you won’t be welcome,” Sammi added before slamming the door behind them.
Jem’si let out a sigh as he sank into his chair, feeling suddenly boneless. Keller and Torel moved around him, pulling up chairs of their own.
“That went better than it could have,” Keller said casually. She barely seemed bothered by the whole thing.
“Oh, really?” Jem’si really couldn’t see the bright side.
“We could all be dead,” Torel clarified. “According to the scope of their Writ, either one of those two would have been perfectly within their rights to have the entire Chel’xa compound incinerated.”
“....what.”
“Knowledge of Nix is to be limited to the PRI and Lone Caribou. House Chel’xa clearly knows about it, or this whole thing wouldn’t have gotten started.” Keller sounded too matter of fact, too calm. “You may be the one who got this whole thing going, but the Humans wouldn’t have even known about it if you hadn’t told them. You’re clearly a security risk.”
“You could make the argument that Jem’si is in the clear, as part owner of PRI. I do a lot of the clerical work, so I’m safe too.” Torel smirked over at Keller. “Sounds like you’re the odd one out.”
“Yep. It would have been perfectly reasonable, from a legal standpoint at least, if Elera had shot me in the face as soon as we sat down.” Keller smirked. “Not that she would. I think she kinda has a thing for me.”
“And what, you’d have let her do it?” The panic was back, bile sour and acidic in Jem’si’s throat.
“I’m not bulletproof, Jem. Couldn’t have done a whole lot about it.”
Jem’si pressed his hands to the table, slowly pulling himself to his feet. “I think…” He swallowed. It didn’t help. “I think I’m going to throw up. Then I’m going to talk to Iria and see if I can talk to the Empress in person. I need to get a handle on this before someone ends up dead.”
“Someone else, you mean.” Torel gave Jem’si a very unflattering glare. “On top of all the other deaths we’ve had so far.”
Jem’si bit down a retort as he turned away, walking towards the door. Oh yes. Couldn’t forget those.
–
When it came down to it, Lewis could admit that this was at least partially his fault.
He had left the grocery store with plastic bags in his hands and a spring in his step. The rusty minivan parked next to Lewis's SUV completely failed to get his attention, which was likely the whole reason it was chosen for the job. He had just finished putting the bags in the backseat when the van’s side door opened behind him, a bag slipped over his head, and Lewis was bodily pulled into the vehicle. He barely even had time to squeak out a panicked yelp.
Even with his head covered, Lewis knew at once who his captors were. The large hands, the ease with which they were manhandling him, and the sheer brazenness of the kidnapping left no doubt in his mind that he was in the hands of the Shil'vati. They pulled his hands behind his back and cuffed them together before he was plopped down in the middle seat. Meaty fingers stayed firmly grasped around his biceps as the van rumbled to life. They were on the move.
"So..." Lewis tried to keep his voice even. He wasn't a fighter, and if he started throwing elbows he would still end up at his destination. Just with a broken jaw. "If you're sex traffickers, you probably could do better than me."
There was no reply but silence.
As they bounced along, Lewis was surprised to find that he wasn't as frightened as he expected. After nearly a decade fighting the invaders in his own way, the idea of eventually being captured or killed had percolated through his mind for long enough that it was comfortable. In a way, it was a relief; wherever he was going, whatever was going to happen to him, Lewis was done with the fight. He could hang up his spurs, at least until the gallows called.
Instead of dwelling on the situation, he tried to follow where the van was going. It only took a few turns for Lewis to become hopelessly lost. His lack of a sense of direction was legendary among his friends, and thanks to the ubiquitous ease of GPS and smartphones he never really had to pick up the skill. He regretted his reliance on technology now, not that it would really change anything. The van rumbled on, its old and tired suspension creaking with every bump, and Lewis waited to die.
The van pulled to a stop with a lurch and Lewis jerked awake. He had been half-dozing, a fact that he took in with a bit of surprise. After the first hour or so, the anxiety of being captured had faded into a dull shock, which had turned into a stupor. Now he had completely lost track of time. The door to his right slid open and Lewis was pulled out with a sudden jerk. He tried to catch himself on half-numb legs, stumbled, was caught, and found himself being half carried and half marched on the rough gravel underfoot.
Even with the hood obscuring his vision, Lewis could still hear perfectly fine. He could still smell, too, and the rumble of a large diesel engine was accompanied by the smell of rancid exhaust. The gravel under his feet became a metal ramp and he stumbled again, letting his Shil'vati captors drag him up by his biceps. There would be some nasty bruises later, but for now the pain helped him regain focus.
The ramp leveled out and the metal clang was replaced by the dull thud of thin wood under his feet. Lewis was only dragged a few more steps before a quick shove threw him into a chair. It didn't move at all, evidently attached to the floor, and before he could really process the situation further a loud clatter behind him made evident that Lewis was now trapped. The smell of exhaust was even worse here, sour on his throat. Fear was finally beginning to settle in his guts as he tried to prepare himself for the inevitable torture.
"Ashley Lewis. Age twenty-six standard, degrees in psychology and philosophy, currently employed in an administrative capacity for a phone and 'net based therapy service. Being able to telework has made it easy for you to travel for your other job, working as a data courier and soft asset for the terrorist organization colloquially known as The Numbers.
"A few months ago, you were involved in an attack on a man named Eustace Grant that left him nearly dead and eventually led to a region-wide shakeup of law enforcement and the public execution of the Regional Governess." Lewis's head jerked forward as the hood was pulled off in a single sharp tug.
Black eyes with irises like gold rings floating in pools of ink stared at him from a face of purple skin. In the moment, the Shil'vati looked exactly as alien as she was, and the familiarization he had spent years building flashed away as if they were never there. The alien smiled, drawing attention to her tusks, then nodded once. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
Lewis took in his captor. She was average height for a female Shil, though not as massively built as the majority of marines he had seen. Her hair was stark white and pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore a long coat of heavy black. Around him, all he could see was dirty wood and aluminum paneling. The rumbling of an engine continued, as did the stink of fumes. He was in the back of a small box truck.
And in front of him stood Investigator Jel’si Chel'xa.
*****
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This is a fanfic that takes place in the “Between Worlds” universe (aka Sexy Space Babes), created and owned by u/BlueFishcake. No ownership of the settings or core concepts is expressed or implied by myself.
This is for fun. Can’t you just have fun?

Hello, friends. Today I encountered a really weird bug or glitch or event that has happened before, and every time it happens, I'm never really sure what to do and I'm always so curious as to why it's happening. IM LOSING MY MIND
Like I said, it has happened before, and it's always when I'm playing after midnight and before 5AM. Basically, most of the people in those games seem to be AFK. They never exit the game, surrender or anything, but they don't move, often they buy really random characters and position them in ways that don't make sense, like putting the squishiest characters in front and tanks in the back. Also, they never pick up the orbs, and they don't equip the characters with items either. And it's super weird, because there is definitely at least a couple of other people who are actually playing the match I'm currently playing, because I can see them buying characters and positioning them, but they don't move during the carousel, and again, they are not equipping any items and the position MAKES NO SENSE. The comps are near nonsensical as well.
I seem to be the only one actually playing, so it's kind of frustrating. And it's so weird. I have no idea why it happens. Honestly, it's a little bit creepy. And it's happened quite a few times. Sometimes only like 4 out of 8 people seem to load the game and be playing normally, sometimes it's just 2 people, sometimes it's just me. As I'm writing this post, the match I was playing only had me playing the full game. I sent a message in the chat, but nobody answered.
I have few ideas as to why that could be happening. Maybe it's a server glitch and somehow I'm the only person who's managed to load the match properly, and that would explain maybe why only a fraction of the people load sometimes, maybe it's a server glitch that's kind of unpredictable. One of my friends mentioned someone could be using some type of hack to get an advantage (I'm sure there's a proper gamer name for that), but that doesn't make much sense to me, because I only play normal games, I almost never play ranked. So why would someone be cheating in a normal game? And why would it not affect me? Could a third party have put something bad in my account without me knowing? Why would anybody put something malicious in a random ass low rank account? And why does it only happen after midnight? Could it be some sort of bot? Or people doing it deliberately? I have so many questions.
I'm very much a super casual gamer, I pretty much only play TFT and I'm not exactly knowledgeable about computers, so I have no idea why the maybe-glitch happens. The exclamation mark in the top of the server doesn't say anything about the server being glitchy or any maintenance either.
Oh, and I'm playing in the BR server, by the way. Has anybody ever experienced that?? Am I losing my mind? Is my account haunted or something? I'm gonna play another match right after this one to see if it happens again.

I am so thankful to be alive but it wasn't always this way. I felt it deep down, the gratitude for living but it just didn't feel right. It didn't sit well with me so I challenged myself. Not to see how wrong it was but to challenge my belief. It crept up on me when the light would shine just right in an unperfect moment I would recognize and store years down the line, how unperfect this moment was in time. It was always perfect or I made it perfect. I was the light and life in it's stillness and slow beauty, not moving but always changing was always so perfect. Such peace and joy, serenity and love by just existing. How could this be when my mind convinced me otherwise? I have such a love for life and in any moment I could taste freedom if I wanted, I could feel love, I could be fearless. There was no end to what I could create. It felt real but, I was made to believe it was all fake and that it wasn't real. What I could see in front of me, what my mind perceived in the world was nothing of worth so I internalized these structures. My mind could not register anything that would cause me to feel the way I created so in it's unfathomably methodology it refuted it's truthfulness, it's realness. What I would them perceive in front of me would be all the things that made me sad and sorrowful. The distaste it gave me from what it could perceive, for how it was able to comprehend the world. I saw my friends hurt me, saw my family neglect me, saw the people around me living in lies and continuing cycles making the same mistakes over again. I was suddenly so filled with pain. I picked up on their energies. Pain never bothered me but the intention to hurt me, killed me inside, I could never understand why, it was the worst kind of betrayal. My brain could suddenly see all the things around me that would hurt me. I was thrown into a state of survival. My gorgeous brain only seeing the things that harm and hurt. Reminding me that the world is dangerous and a not so good place. I abandoned my state of being. I could no longer take the alarms ringing in my head, the panic in my body if I did not live my life and accept it in a certain way that would allow me to function better. I use to be so hopeful, so extroverted. Slowly overtime I reassessed myself. I no longer claimed to be an extrovert, I then claimed ambivert and overtime I accepted my role as an introvert. I accepted my place as a lonely soul, not lost, not confused but hurt inside. I fulfilled my hermit role one day believing I would be a Sage or a Shaman, anything to explain and lead me on, anything to subside the guilt to what I was doing to myself. Anything. Their had to be a reason for my separateness, if I was not allowed to be in the world then maybe it was because I was never meant to be, we had to reason it out, reason all of it out. Find out what happened to us, why we felt the way we did, what went wrong. Where we went wrong, what I did wrong. I had to not only know I had to make it make sense because there was this ticking time-bomb in my stomach trying to speak out the truth. Trying to claw it's way out, trying to make me believe again. All this time hiding and fighting. Knowledge was my control. I began digging. Tearing everything apart like a rabid animal. Snarling in a trap, ripping up it's bedsheets, I was vicious and this was dangerous. It harmed me in the end and it hurt like hell. I broke everything, I demolished and destroyed everything I had. The tension built up with the help of external influences, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't be, I couldn't see. I had somewhere to go. Something I held tight to and refused to let go of, I bled the way I gripped it so tight. It was mine if only I could break myself better. Break who I was, I could get it. I broke my mind. Crumbled to pieces, shattered like a mirror, I was surrounded by broken glass. The shards, the pointy ends. What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE? I can't pick this up, I can't fix this. The glass shards cut my hands, as I desperately tried to collect all the pieces of my mental. "Why would you do this?" I thought to myself. Oh, the blame I felt, the guilt, the self hatred and loathing. I destroyed myself, the damage I had caused myself that could never be reversed. I was my own monster, my own demon. The break of bond between my spirit and myself. I had destroyed it all. I did not like it so I went scavenging and I hit something that seemed made to collapse. A shaky hut poorly built, doomed to fall that I was living in. My own mind was poorly built on shaking foundations that faltered on me and I thought it was my fault. It was doomed to fail. My mind now in pieces, my world collapsing all around me, I lived in doomsday. It was my apocalypse. I built from the ground up again. This time with say in the matter for how I wanted to see life again. From what I knew deep down, my own truth to living. I got it half right sometimes but it was better then nothing. We had no money after all so on some spots I had to plaster the walls with what I could find, maybe some mud and straw until I could find a suitable material. Maybe some bricks like the little piggies in that story book. My mind was enmeshed, intertwined, and confused. I had pieces that didn't fit together and pieces that didn't fit at all. My mind was fractured and split. Utterly in pieces. Sides of myself combated the other. I lived in a time where there was no compromise. No decision that could be formulated on any action taken in my life. Everything was at a halt. I couldn't decide what I wanted to eat, how I wanted to dress, I couldn't formulate view points and make statements. I didn't know who I was. I was in constant distress from being pulled in a tug of war by two extremes of myself. I was absolutely distraught. All the while I had to not only keep a calm demeanor and put on a brave face for the world. I had to keep grasping and holding on tight to something that kept floating away from me, kept being just out of my reach, my grounded purpose for why I did what I did. I had to succeed, I came too far, gave up too many things, I sacrificed myself for it, I couldn't let it go, I was told not to let it go. I had to keep fighting, keep pushing. There were times where I didn't eat, other times I overate, times I couldn't sleep, and times where I only slept. My whole life was flipped upside down and I did not know balance. I did not operate out of a place of harmony. I met my shadows that crept in the night. They taunted me and did not let me sleep. I went on medication and my demons haunted me in the waking world. This isn't an empowering speech about what a force I am to be reckoned with after coming through the flames such as these. The pits of fire I embodied, the deep levels of hell that melted me. My hands calloused from trying to climb out of the well I had fallen in. At the bottom of that well it wasn't water, it was fire and I didn't make it out of there, I burned. I burned alive. I died. There was no coming back, there was no surviving that. I was ashes, but my soul burned like hot coals. Still surviving, still managing. How heavy the world was, how tired I was. How dark and suffocating, everything closed up on me. I wanted to die. My physical body wanted to die. I almost tried to. I saw it as a mercy until a voice said No. Finally, everything was quiet so I listened to it. For a second the voice that said No gave me something I was looking for, a definitive answer, a taste of consciousness on settled ground. The voice so strong and stern, sure of itself. The peace in its absolute. How all the other voices were silenced. I never understood my true intent so my mind kept gripping to what I was originally chasing after. I knew there was hope again, that voice gave me hope so I attached it to my manifestation. I knew there was something more out there. I dug through my past. Searching, trying to reason, trying to find something that might be contributing to my pain, in order to move forward to my goal in sight that I was desperately reaching for, my purpose for shattering my mental, I crawled out again. I must succeed, so I took a detour. The fastest route wasn't straight at that point, I couldn't see straight. I accumulated knowledge at an exceeded rate, gaining expert level knowledge on structures of being, finding tools to build my new home. Building up again, my mind. They say if you spend all your time in your head you might as well make it a nice place to be. My head was not a nice place to be. I had a lot of neuron pathways that lead me to dark places. It was a labyrinth outside the boundaries of space and time, all consuming, a monstrous black hole where light didn't exist. I found my beasts, my demons, and dragons that ought to be slain. One by one, I went to war. Winning and sometimes losing battles and like a Viking not afraid of death just awaiting Valhalla, I was ruthless. I had nothing to lose and all to gain so I slayed, I became murderous in the end, killing parts of me left and right to find a holy grail perhaps out of pure luck. I didn't know I would find a jackpot within myself, pure gold. I have a heart of gold. I unearthed diamonds within my being. I came back to myself. In the end it was all worth it, though my hands still murderous, remembering the bloodshed I was made to do. I never felt victorious, the thing I held on so tight to in my outside world, the manifestation I was working on and fighting my way to had finally arrived and I felt nothing towards it. I felt less than dead inside holding it in my hands. It was worthless to me and what people saw I had accomplished in the external, praising me and congratulating me, being so proud that I had finally succeed. Somehow that taunted me because they couldn't see my insides, all that I had done. What I have in my hands means nothing! Why lace my eyes once more? I feel no happiness in my success, no satisfaction, no glam or pride but look inside me now, see how I have risen. See the garden I have planted in my mind. Can you finally see my soul like I can now? Come visit and see inside, my holy grail, my light.

In the end it’s okay to look out for number one and leave, I just want to remind everyone that the people that pick up are paid hourly and don’t make nearly enough to take the brunt of your anger. I spoke at length with a rep today and as I told him, I want to be loyal but I gotta do what’s best for me. I’ve done customer service and I know enough that the people that pick up barely have any power and their managers are peons too, so I implore all of you. Do not take it out on them, it sucks to take the heat for a companies shitty decisions when you’re just trying to do your job and eat like the rest of us. If you’re going to leave, just do it. Don’t take it out on a stranger.

So I'm a 24m living in Amsterdam. Got a pretty sweet job in cybersecurity, got badass car and my own apartment. On paper my life is perfect and got nothing to complain about.
Having relationships etc started pretty early on in life, had girlfriend when I was 6 till I was 11 and broke up because she moved and was to young to maintain contact. I remember that I cried my eyes out when I heard she was moving.
Skip 5 years later and had a relationship with a girl I met trough a mutual friend. I ended up dating her for 2,5 years or so. The relationship ended because she cheated and left me for the other guy. Because of that I went to therapie on and off for a couple of years.
Eventually after a year of being single started dating again and had a relationship for 4 years. Life looked pretty swell, landed a job and eventually worked full-time while still doing my bachelors. But unfortunately I got a call from her telling me that she wasn't happy and she wanted to breakup. Wasn't really devistated and I accepted the fact that it was for the best. During that time I got the opportunity to rent a place in Amsterdam
Couple of months later I found the first girl on LinkedIn, started talking to her and almost immediately fell in love. We went on dates and she even bhought me my first rose. I was so happy and like, damn after more then 10 years I got my soulmate back. During that time she was still recovering from her previous relationship, because of some abuse and tried my best to help her with that. We did almost everything together, like fixing up my house, late night calls, long drives. I finally fell in love again. It felt like I lost control, but it felt so good.
Unfortunately after 3 months she broke up with me, because I didn't really react when some high store clerk flirted with her. In my ears it sounded so dumb but I kinda realized that because of the second girl I had some unresolved trauma, with guys trying to get my girl.
I was devastated, felt so bad, failed a project at my job. On top of that, my boss said something really racist to me and eventually had to call in sick for 6 months. Had to talk to a company doctor and a few therapist. Eventually we came to the conclusion that my work environment was really toxic towards me. I decided to quit and after a few weeks I landed my dreamjob. Everything went well but unfortunately I'm still suffering from some concentration problems.
I begain having flashbacks of the "soulmate" girl, all of the good times specifically. Everyday she is still on my mind and can't get rid of the thoughts. I tried dating again but just couldn't fall in love anymore even had a relationship with girl for like 5 months, but she kept going over my bounderies and I broke up with her.
It's been more then 15 months since she left and I feel so empty. I tried using the tools I learned during therapy, with little to no success.
Unfortunately I also picked up this bad habbit smoking hookah almost every weekend. And that's like the only thing that makes me forget it for like a couple of hours. Guess the nicotine messes with my mind.

Hi! I am an INFP and am hoping to gain some insight on my friendship with an INTP.
He and I work together at a retail store at the mall and became really good friends! We bond over our interests and can never seem to run out of topics to talk about. We started talking recently and it's crazy to think how close we are now compared to how it was before we started talking. Initially, he seemed reserved, quiet, and serious to me so I never really took the chance to talk to him until we started working together more often. I'm so glad we did!
We text throughout the day with each other. He'd send me random, funny memes and videos and I'd send him my random musings. More recently though, it feels our friendship shifted its dynamic a little bit. He is a major teaser and loves making jokes. I enjoy doing the same so there would be periods where we'd roast each other in good fun, nothing mean-spirited (at first). It felt like texting each other opened a gateway for that dynamic. Now, the problem is, it seems like he's teasing me a lot more and his jokes are definitely more harsh and sarcastic. They can be pretty mean actually. I know I can be sensitive but I can handle most jokes.
Also, it seems like he contradicts or points out the flaws in whatever ideas I have for the fun of it. It almost seems as though I can't share anything with him anymore without him criticizing it and making me feel bad. All of this has also translated to him doing this in person when we have our closing shifts together. It feels like he focuses more on roasting/criticizing me now than having conversations like we use to. Naturally, my INFP self is thinking *Why is he being so mean to me?! I thought we were friends!!!* I don't bring up my hurt feelings because I'm afraid he'd feel like I'm too emotional or sensitive. (He can't stand those types of people).
The confusing part is, he's still a great friend! He goes out of his way to help me all the time and I can feel that he really values his friendship with me. He makes a lot of effort with maintaining our friendship and I appreciate it. However, his mean and jokey side can make me feel differently. It's all so confusing to me.
What gives?

Hey everyone. I found what appears to be an injured crow (IC) walking around on its feet near the apartment complex while I was smoking. I thought it was cool that it hung around. I observed that it was going underneath the bush but then out again, and I hear dlittle birds chirping and thought maybe it has lost its baby. However it was just those chicadees.
The crow approached me a little but didn't get too close and even allowed another person to pass by without flying away. IC then crossed the street.
I then noticed two other crows perch on a nearby street sign. One of them came down and started approaching IC.
I thought maybe they would maybe, but as I watched it seemed that the crow was badgering IC. IC hopped away into the tall grass to get away and I helped by clapping my hands in increasing volumes.
IC seems safe for now.
*Actually as. Writing the crows came back with a third. What's happening?
Anyway, who can I call to help this crow? Will it even be attended to?
TLDR: found injured crow being harassed by other crows. Who can I call to help?