Parttime evening jobs

I was talking with a family friend and he was saying that he does the bare minimum because he feels he doesn't get compensated fairly for the work he does. I agreed that pay needs to be raised for everyone. He really got onto a rant about how people need to stop trying so hard at work.
I asked him about people who like to do their work and enjoy it and he went off on how there is nobody like that and if they are they are just brownnosing and probably suck as a person. I told him that I like my job. It's rewarding. Working on tasks I enjoy makes the time pass quickly. I like learning more in my role and I like taking on more tasks. I understand I won't be compensated with anything but more work, but I am good at setting boundaries and saying No when I don't want to do something.
Guy had an absolute meltdown. Even though I genuinely agreed with him about every other point because I like my job. He went on about how I was part off the problem and was part of the establishment and not "the people" and was what was wrong with the world.
I think our friendship is over because he just stopped talking to me and blocked me on all media.
That's too bad (I guess)

It started with me being curious about men thongs, "what would it feel like to wear one?" I wondered. So I've found on Amazon a 5 pack of best selling black men thongs. "Just these" I said, "I don't need more".
Well the men thongs were suprisingly comfortable, so I decided to buy 10 more thongs of the same brand and type, 5 dark blue and 5 dark green, "15 is more than I need, and these are 3 manly colors" I justified to myself.
Then I saw on Amazon some men's G-strings, smaller and sexier than the thongs, I had to try them. They had vivid colors like blue, red, green and yellow, "but it doesn't matter, no one's gonna see them". I like them so much I had to get them in every color: orange, purple, lime, teal, nude, and even, pink.
I was obsessed.
I started buying a lot more thongs and G strings, different cuts and different fabrics, in search for the best one. See through, mesh, elephant nose (those are fun to jerk off in, or do the "windmill"), I even bought jockstraps that reveal the whole butt, or see through / mesh boxer briefs to wear in my job (I'm a maintenance men, and sometimes I do plumbing work, and if you think that a plumber's butt crack is bad, than imagine a plumber's pink G string. But the mesh / see through boxer briefs are modest enough for people not to motice if they pop out). On days off I'm happy to wear my thongs / G strings, especially if I won't be meeting anyone, just to be safe.
Anyway I wasted a lot of money because in the end, the comfiest ones I have are the first thongs I've bought, Amazon's best selling men thongs. They are the least sexy out of all of them cause they cover a lot in the front, but this coverage gives my junk good support. No one knows about my collection cause I'm a lonely virgin. At least, I hope no one knows.

I’m deciding if I want to accept a nanny position and the family was nice enough give me current nannies phone number to chat more about the position. I have a phone call scheduled with her this evening. And I was wondering if anyone has any good questions I could potentially ask her about the job itself and or the family.

Hi there. Content spoiler : love story. Also English isn't my mothertongue, so sorry by advance.
This will be a bit long but I just feel the need to talk to someone. I have no friends nor anybody that might understand this because I'm not close to them enough and I'm quite used to keep my thought for myself (not a good idea, I know).
So where's to start? 10 years ago was my last year's to school. I won't be much original by telling you I met someone there for which I deeply fell in love. It was instantaneous. Back this time, I was depressive, unexperienced and I was a teenager. Anyway, I found any stupid excuse to talk to her. This began a long and classical story of "two teenagers messaging for hours everyday". What I felt instinctively did confirmed : she was what I expected on every matter. She has a creativity like no one else, I love her humor, we got a lot in common and my sensibility was so close to her's.
We were both kind of "dreamers" so we started writing texts, poems, things like that together. This might sounds ridiculous, but the thing is, our creativity was like.. Enhanced by the other. As if dreaming was only doable together.
Obviously, it didn't took long for me to tell her how I felt. But because reality isn't made of dreams, she told me we'd better to stay friends. It hurted me like hell. But I managed to keep in touch with her. I would never ever want to loose her. But the thing is, at multiple times, I couldn't hide my feelings and it led to many "long talk". In fact she always told me I was like, the perfect dude, a real pearl. Everything to be loved. But she just couldn't. She many times admitted to hate herself because she wanted to love me, she really wanted because she knew she would be the happiest if it was the case. This was even more hurting. When you know someone actually do want to love you, this is.. I have no words.
All of this happened on a 3 years period, I was way too emotional and this was a bit suffocating to her, which didn't helped on the situation. After that she met some other dudes and even though she did not felt quite happy with them and had bad experiences, she never came back to me. She wanted to stay friend with me, talk to me, etc. But at a certain point, I couldn't bare it. The pain was like, way too hurting.
So I agreed to listen to my friends. I ignored her, started to push her away of my life even though I was dead inside by doing so. I focused on studies, met other people and had a GF for 8 years. I completely changed my behavior. Younger, I was like that dude at the back of the classroom, always daydreaming, over creative, completely unaware of its surrounding. I became utterly "rational", I graduated in economics, got a job on economics statistics. I met my GF and it's been 8 years. She's an adorable person, etc.
But. I'm just wearing a mask. I'm not feeling myself anymore. I feel like I just jailed myself into a grey and "common" life, one night out of two I'm dreaming of that girl I met 11 years ago. And I awake as if my entire week had been demolished. I miss her, I frequently cry at night because.. I just want to speak to her, write with her, idk. From times to times, she sends me some messages just to get in touch, even to see me, but I always refused or found excuses.
Recently, I heard my school is organizing kind of a "10 years anniversary" in like 20 days. you know that kind of things. Of course, she goes to it.
Having heard about this event and remembering those times made my heart completely explode some days ago. I couldn't hold this situation anymore. I hate what I became, I hate my situation even though I should be the last to complain. And I still deeply love her, so deeply.
I wrote to her because fuck it, I can't support ignoring her, I love to talk to her and I should never have put her away. Biggest mistake of my life, 8 years wasted on the wind. She said she had no more hope of me to come back, and that she missed me too so that was a surprise. So we're talking again.
But I fear to come too late. After all this time, I've grown, I made mistakes I would never do again. And she may have done her life? And now I just want.. A chance? Lot of time did go, and I would like to ask her to meet again. I know I shouldn't never ever tell her I still have feelings because it's too early. But I want to speak with her at this famous "school anniversary", asking to see her again but with nothing on my mind. Just letting the future decide. Maybe things will go well, are maybe not and we can stay friends? I'm quite sure, just seeing each other again, having some nice time would be a nice second chance because I changed by a, lot now, as she did too obviously. I also want to retake the time I lost with her. I'm so ashamed to have ignored her for years I think I might cry when I would see her again.
But I have a lot of fear. I realize that wathever I can do in my life, everything always makes me go back to her again. I cannot describe how I feel we would be together. I'm not religious nor a believer. But gosh. This makes me doubt. I know you can forget people you loved, that love can go away. But I've never ever been able to forget her nor diminishing what I feel, even after 10 years.
Honestly, I don't know what advices I could get. I just want some emotional support, idk. I'm feeling lost. Am I the only one who felt I've been in the wrong dimension for so long? As if I deviated from a path were I would be someone else, as if I would be with her but I managed to somewhere, do a mistake?
I'm just crying for days now, feeling like shit and I don't know how to manage the situation. I need to tell my GF that out of nowhere I wanna leave, I need to do my best to cope with my "renewed" contact and I don't know how to proceed, I hate everything in my life.
I just wanted to share this with someone, just a common story I guess. But I'm so devastated right now, I just rely on miracles she does not reject me.

As per current storyline, two girls name kalpana and sapna met popatlal for marriage he said yes too both of them and even both girls agreed to marry him. now he is struggling that whom should he consider for marriage and whom should he reject. He ended up getting engaged to both of them but at the end everyone knows the truth, both family curse him that he will never get girl in whole life he gets banned from all the mumbai marriage bureau as fraud. He gets sad for few days focus himself on work, society members try to cheer to him up but failed. He get know about sologamy during working on some case he finds its interesting and he get married to himself on grand level. He live whole as sad person worrying about his marriage, saving for his marriage, now he started loving himself more. retire after few years from his job as he is now 50+ don't want too much pressure of work, have good amount of investment so no worries about money.
after this popat leaves gokuldham, This is the end of popatlal character.

My dad recently got a promotion. Now he oversees the operations of our entire region which is the one that produces the most. It’s a very high level job and with it comes perks like a driver, an assistant, a receptionist, etc.
On his first day, he drove himself, parked and went to where the drivers stay on the garage. He talked to them about how their job was and if there was anything they’d like to change. He asked about their day, made small talk and joked around. Then he did the same with the assistant, the receptionist, the janitor, basically anyone who worked for him that he met on his way to his new office.
His employees were shocked and someone told the big brass. He received a call from an executive above him. The guy basically said that he needed to “be firm” and “make them respect him”, and that being friendly with the “low level personnel” would make them not respect him. He needed to “impose himself”.
My dad was pretty pissed and said that he was chosen to be the boss so how he treated those under his care was his choice. And asked them to not meddle again on his management style. They wanted results, he would give them results. His way or no way. He didn’t even want that promotion, they pushed him to accept it. Later on the day, the CEO called to say he was right and to keep doing what he was doing. The whole thing rose a big, pointless ruckus.
I feel so proud of him. He stood up for himself and I know how hard that was. He doesn’t want us to make a big deal about it. But I’m so proud to be his daughter. He is such an inspiration to me.
His childhood was so tough. From days of being hungry, to working at farms and selling food in the street. He moved to a big city when he was 16 to study and find better opportunities. Since I was born, we went from sleeping on the floor of the living room because of shootings and the risk of stray bullets to living in a penthouse with a swimming pool by the beach.
All because he worked hard. Our relationship is a bit strained because of the hours he put into getting us a better life but moments like this remind me that he is a good person. He has flaws and shortcomings, but he only wants what’s best for those around him.

I used to work at Quiktrip, was there for a little over a year, and in my time there ive probably stolen over $3,000 in cash and merchandise. Seriously, while i was working there i noticed how easy it was to steal from there as a clerk, shit its still pretty easy to steal as a customer if you know what youre doing. If youre working the register and you have decent slight of hand skills, its super easy to nab some cash for yourself, and as long as you know what youre doing, you can get away with it without any suspicions towards you. Yea theyll notice when they see theyre short, but if you do your job right and youre good at hiding it, youll never be suspected, even more so if youre good friends with management. Apart from money ive also stolen lotto scratchers, food, cases if drinks, ive even stolen a pair of wireless earbuds that a store had once. When i stole the scratchers i would always get the $20 loteria ones, or i would grab a couple benjis from the register and use the nice blue machine to get the $50 or $100 ones, funny enough i also learned that those super expensive scratchers you rarely ever win on em, if at all.
I think back often and wonder if it was worth it, i say yea it was. I was never caught and now Im in a much better job now and i regret nothing.

Whether its for finding workplaces that will take you or entering relationships some people have said that Southeast Asia seems mostly easier overall. Is that true?
Like in Japan or China you are more likely to be hired if you are good at obeying rather than based on whether you have a personality seen as "outgoing" that is particularly difficult for alot of autistic people, especially for level 2s and 3s?
Its kind of toxic to live in a job market where everybody always expects you to be 'outgoing' all the time I mean. Even if a country's culture was extremely hierarchal it would be more liveable for me I think if they did not expect it from me.

Kind of want to know how.much this sort of raise will impact my life
Currently in a job that easy extremely easy and chilled, albeit slightly unfulfilling. I rarely ever work a full day, zero stress, got a cool boss etc earning 30k
Been offered another job at around 35k plus commision, so likely around 40k ... Will be more fast paced and busier, although presents more opportunities and growth.
Currently weighing a few things up but I want to know how much the 10k raise will make a difference? I know in theory it's an extra 10k a year in the bank if my outgoings stay the same but once I've paid the tax would it even be a noticeable change to my life at all?

So for some context I work as a nurse in a jail/prison.
So normally I love my job and I love my subspecialty. I do a lot of afternoons and nights where I am the only nurse in my area and while I like that freedom it can get a little lonely (although I do sometime chat with the officers). Anyways I was doing a late morning start so start at 0930am (for reference our usual morning shifts start at 6 or 7). So I was in with 2 other nurses.
There were a few reasons today sucked. 1. It was med order day. And as I rarely ever do morning I am usually lucky enough to not have to do this. But recently our orders have been stuffed up and lots of stuff hasn't been orders so they need to pay extra for a same day delivery when we run out and our NUM is pretty sick of it. So we got out delivery and noticed that quite a lot of what we needed hasn't come. Mainly a lot of insulin. So I got suck doing the order with the added pressure of my NUM being ready to performance manage the next person who stuffs up and as I don't pack the main pills in the afternoons I have a limited awareness of what stuff we are likely to need and what we use. So that was fun.

1. This was probably the biggest thing. So one of the things the PM supervised nurse does is they give out medication that has to be supervised in the evening. So like anti-psychotics or any meds that are likely to be diverted and sold to others. Anyways one of the girls is on Olanzapine 10mg but hasn't been taking it for a while because she thinks it's making her fat. But when i offered it to her yesterday afternoon she took it. So when the nurse today was packing the pills he asked me if she had taken it and I said yeah and then the other nurse was like you shouldn't have given it to them because they haven't had it for like 2 weeks. And then the packing nurse agreed. Now technically that's not my issues because I don't disagree that taking the med after a while isn't the best but these were the other factors
2. it appeared to have been signed for 2-3 times recently
3. the prescriber had been notified of her refusal and had clearly seen the chart but had not ceased the order
4. previously when we have asked for psychs advice for refusals like this they generally say that until the prescriber cancels the order we need to keep offering So they said I they both don't even bother seeing her during that pill round and basically just ignore the order.

My issues with this are - the order is still valid so you have to sign it whether it's refused, withheld or whatever. You can't just put the chart away and pretend it doesn't exist? - if they were concerned about giving it after a break they could have asked the prescriber about this and documented her response so that we would know at what point the refusal would affect the order - as far as i'm aware there are more issues with coming off it then going back on it so if she has decided to start taking it again I don't fully see the problem. - one of the other reasons we have to see the patient regardless of refusals is for a wellbeing check to make sure there isn't some sinister reason they are not coming to get their med or particularly in the case of meds like these that they are safe and not at risk of harm to themselves or others.
There were some other issues but they were probably the main ones. It just bothers me because every now and then I miss socialising and working with fellow nurses but then I have times like this where I just want to work by myself always so I don't have to deal with this crap.

TL;Dr To start off I am not the best person at writing so I apologize for any errors.
I have been married for almost 4 years to the woman who I am still head over heels for. (We married just a few months before the start of the pandemic) This little detail has really affected our marriage as being newlyweds struggling during this time was very difficult on our marriage.
My wife struggled with the pandemic very much as she is a nurse, she had changed over to school nursing just prior to the pandemic and it made her life very challenging as that was an aspect not many people thought of during this time. She has gone through a huge patch of depression, I on the other hand have felt like I’ve been depressed since I can remember. During these past few years in our relationship we have struggled a bit in terms of finances and other disagreements. My wife has always made it quite clear that I haven’t live up to her expectations and she has always hung divorce up in the air since the beginning of our marriage. I have always tried to be better and true fyi do little things to keep her happy even if the involved my mental health suffering. During this time of the pandemic I seemed mental health help, which was going well. Until she changed jobs and we lost our health insurance. During this career change my wife found the job she took on was not for her and she quit without much of a plan. She quit and spent a few months living off of her retirement fund. This time was incredibly difficult for me as I was the one working and making sure we were staying afloat. This point in time was when we also moved into a house, this is where I began to really feel the stress of life. As money started to become a bigger issue, I also began to spiral in terms of my mental health. I had asked my wife to seek help with her mental health or go to couples therapy with me. But to no avail I kind of gave up and figured happy wife happy life. Now after over a year of that conversation my wife is finally seeking help for her mental health and I am the root cause of the problem for these stressors. My wife thinks I am hiding cheating on her or something of that nature. Truthfully the only thing I am hiding from her is how badly our finances are on my end. She has given me an ultimatum. That either I make her happy and not questions things by November or she is leaving me, as that is when our lease is up. What do I do Reddit? I don’t want to lose the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. But I’m so stressed I am not sure what to feel or do. I’ve started therapy yesterday and have a couples session booked, but my wife stated she will not be doing anything during this session as I need to figure it out and fix it on my end.

Hello , Im 18 years old its been 2 years my mother got in some debts, i dont have a father or anyone left ,my mom got my fathers job its been 1 year we have paid more than 11lakh debts by selling everything our house and we got some loans and paid everyone which taking whole out salary we dont even have enough money left at the end of month to eat anything and now some guys are claiming moneys blackmailed us threating my mom knife stabbing or acid throwing i don't have anyone left expect my mom and i dont wanna loose her she is literally in huge pressure and we dont have any option to end our lives please if anyone can help us we need at least 5 lakh + to get out of this mess and live a normal life again i know it's too much asking but i lost every hope today I don't know what to do if anything happens so a last try… if i can save my mom . thank you for atleast reading my condition

I have a back ground in plants & ecology and have recently started studying landscape design. Even as a beginner, someone has asked me to design their large yard surrounding their (under construction) mansion.
I’ve chosen to draw the plans out by hand so I could be creative and not limited by software inexperience. For reference I used 17” x 22” paper at 3/32 scale and it’s a tight fit for the 3-5 acre plot.
I’ll be presenting to them in the next few days and I need to decide my fees. I have a budget but I know little about the actual cost of the job or the honest value of my time.
I’ve gathered that a conceptual design is usual billed at $150 USD. Is this typically a flat fee regardless of the job size? As of right now, I’m still uncertain how much of the installation (hardscape/construction) I will be involved in.
It’s a weird scenario but if anyone has tips or considerations please let me know as I mildly panic about this dream come true.

19F, I just started a job for the summer while I’m not in school and it tends to be a little high stress because of its busy location, and it’s made me come to the realization that in high stress situations I tend to not be stressed? I’m very laid back and have the idea that it’ll all pass and there’s no real reason to lose my mind over things that are SO silly, like a bunch of customers all losing their mind rushing us? It’s okay they have to wait we only have two hands and are doing our best. I also have a hard time working with people who are the opposite, because it makes me want to shake them by the shoulders and say chill out! It’s just a job life is bigger than this.
Obviously no hate to people who do get stressed easily, I know they can’t control it.
Growing up I was in the household with someone who is the absolute opposite of me. My dad blows up at EVERYTHING. I mean he started a full blown fight with my sister recently because he asked her to take her jacket off on the kitchen (while she was just pouring herself a drink?) and she wouldn’t. He just snaps at any given moment over things that are SO small and half the time I have no idea what I even did. I can remember so many times where we would go from having a friendly conversation to him full on cursing.
So me naturally being my own therapist and seeing how I work in the workplace and just general life + academics, compared to others who, for example, are getting stressed during a rush, it got me thinking why I’m like this and I think it’s because of how I grew up, and the need to not be like my dad because I see how miserable it is, but I know others who grew up like this probably feel like opposite because they are more inclined to copy and be stressed. So yeah. Thoughts?

When I first started working at Walmart again (I was a cashier as a minor a few months before) I told my mom and myself that I wasn’t going to be there long. It was something to keep me steady and if something better was to come along then I would consider it. True enough I didn’t lie but those other jobs didn’t work out.
By my 3rd month of employment in my department (OPD/OGP/Pickup) I had learned a good amount of information to be able to become one of, if not THE top worker in my department. Every one can see it, even people who work in other departments.
Well it’s been 11 months and I’ve basically completely mastered all there is to my job. The problem is I’ve gotten so good at this job that I’m afraid to go to another job that isn’t Walmart. I don’t like Walmart, as a company. To me certain rules and policies are terrible and seem unjust and inhumane. Especially at my store, it feels like a trap. Like a bad record deal. Once you sign to this store it’s basically bye bye to any other Walmart because they barely like transferring people or releasing them to other stores.
Anyway, I’m approaching my year mark and it’s scary. I’m so good at my job, what if I never get to move up? Every single person in my department knows and can vouch for me being the TOP performing employee. I definitely work beyond my pay grade, just for it to go unnoticed. Problem is I work hard naturally, and I tend to overwork myself to pick up slack from others. I do basically my team lead’s job, my job, my coworkers job, and all of it goes to waste because I get nothing out of it but stress, a bad back and knees, and increased anxiety and depression. It’s honestly wild but I cant do anything about it because it feels like I can’t escape. Every other job position at another company doesn’t work out, and it’s like I come back to work and things get worse. Ima wrap this up now, thanks for reading.

after three years at target, this friday is my last day. and as a girl pml, i don’t know how to feel about it! excited because it’s necessary, but target feels like the abusive relationship you can’t leave. it took so much from me!! but gave me more than i could’ve ever asked for. i had my most formative years of my life at target and i’m so proud of how i moved up the ladder especially given my age and my role and the shit you go thru to even try and promote, but sometimes you have to focus on your mental health and on yourself. target management sucks and we all know that, but i lived and breathed and bled for my team. all i can hope is that they know how much they mean to me! being a team member was so fun and being in the pm world has taught me so much. i’m beyond grateful. i think i’ll end up coming back at some point but i need time to figure out who i am and where i want to be. but i thank target for allowing me the time to figure out i even needed that. there’s a lot of bad target stories on here and trust i have a manifold of them, but at the end of the day i wouldn’t have stayed for as long as i have and fought as hard as i have for this company and my team and my job if i didn’t love every second doing it. i will miss it so much. shout out target fr. just had to put this out here too since this reddit community made me feel a lot less insane while working. big ol question mark on how much i’ll miss our target guests tho…. ha ha ha
much love tho. couldn’t have asked for a better career foundation. can’t wait to see what happens in a year.

TL;DR;
I lost another tech job, the second in the past 12 months, is this a normal 'right of passage' for a junior? I don't know if I'm a fuck up or if this is just a bad experience.
​
I'm a junior developer. Today I had a meeting with my manager and they informed me that they would be ending my employment. This is the second dev job I've lost in the past year since getting my foot through the door (the first due to redundancy). I was surprised, they said it was due to performance issues; they accepted many stories that I had done incorrectly and didn't raise it with me because they didn't want to stress me out / I'm not contributing to meetings (a lot of the ideas I contribute get implemented and improve efficiency) / I'm not engaging in the slack channels often enough (I do but I usually get ignored).
We have monthly reviews and learning goal meetings, there are issues mentioned in these meetings but I take note of them and improve. I wasn't great at writing tests, so I improved and now I can write tests on my own, they said I'm not reaching out for help, I improved and reached out more often ect ect.
The reasons for my termination had never been mentioned before and I didn't even get a chance to improve before they decided to terminate me. I have no disciplinaries or anything negative on my HR record. In every meeting we had they said my progress is great and to keep going with how I'm improving. In our most recent meeting I asked if iI could start working on some of the backend stuff because I keep finishing the stories in my sprints 1 week in, they agreed and sounded onboard with the idea. It all felt so positive.
It's a small team, the owners are a married couple, and they hired myself and the other junior dev at the same time. They prefer him over me, not work wise but personality wise. I guess they have the same humour or similar hobbies, but they often openly praise him, I don't hear 'well done' or 'good job' directed at my work ever.
My dad works as a contractor, he said this is how the tech world is; work politics, favouritism, expectations to work crazy over time, taking work stress, tasks home and working non stop, 100% dedication, pub outings after for beer even if you don't drink alcohol.
I really do love coding, I love problem solving and I really enjoy learning, I know working in tech is more business focused and passion will only get me so far, but does this termination show that I'm unfit to be a developer?
It's also the first time in 10 years that I've ever been fired.
I worked in fashion previously, the arts are considered an unstable career path with low pay, but since getting my first tech job I've been paid pennies and have been terminated without having another role lined up, but I wonder, is it because I suck or because this is just how junior dev things are, and that things will get easier with more experience?

The landowner is extremely petty, and so I can say with certainty that it is purposeful and targeted.
We had previously hired the landowner (they had a different job at the time) many years back, but we had a falling out. I'll go into details if anyone requests it in the comments, but essentially, they demanded to be paid for work they didn't do. We had known them for a bit before this happened, and they weren't a great person, so really we should have called it quits before this incident...
A few weeks back, they bought the land next to my parents house. They submitted plans for a new road and houses. The design cuts through the lawn of my parents house - all the way past the fence that surrounds the lawn (and it's not even that big) including the gate that we use to get into the garden (it's a little side pathway that goes to the front to the back of the house.)
There was no way it wasn't purposeful. The fence and gate is annotated on the plan, and it showed that they plan to tear it down and make it into the new houses back yard.
My parents are hiring solicitors, but its going to be expensive to contest it and we are not doing great as it is.
I'm really looking for any advice anyone can provide. It would be much appreciated. It seems so incredibly unfair.
[I first posted this in legaladvice, didn't realise there was a UK version - I'm in England]

Hello , Im 18 years old its been 2 years my mother got in some debts, i dont have a father or anyone left ,my mom got my fathers job its been 1 year we have paid more than 11lakh debts by selling everything our house and we got some loans and paid everyone which taking whole out salary we dont even have enough money left at the end of month to eat anything and now some guys are claiming moneys blackmailed us threating my mom knife stabbing or acid throwing i don't have anyone left expect my mom and i dont wanna loose her she is literally in huge pressure and we dont have any option to end our lives please if anyone can help us we need at least 5 lakh + to get out of this mess and live a normal life again i know it's too much asking but i lost every hope today I don't know what to do if anything happens so a last try… if i can save my mom . thank you for atleast reading my condition

Does anyone ever feel like they have missed out on alot just by becoming a mom at a young age?
Let me explain. I'm 36 years old, and have 4 kids. My oldest is 15 and my youngest will be 8 next week. When I had my oldest, I had just turned 21.
At the time, I was working from job to job, just to make ends meet. I didn't finish high school, I ran away from home at 16 (that's a long story, but leaving got me out of that situation, and it was better for my mental health) I was mostly partying when I wasn't working, just to not feel anything anymore.
When I got pregnant with my son, things changed. I stopped getting high and started taking care of myself. I got pregnant within 2 months of meeting my husband (we're common law)
At the time he was on call for a moving company. Not long before I gave birth to our son, he decided to quit.
We wound up moving to a bigger city next to us. To be able to have more job opportunities. I never went back to work. I stayed home with our son to avoid daycare costs, and then I got pregnant with our second child... The last 3 kids were all born within 6 years of each other.
Now, all of the kids are old enough to fend for themselves a bit. I'm still at home, here just to go pick them up for lunch and bring them back to school. I don't drive... Some days I hate walking around everywhere (he doesn't have his license either)
My husband has been working for a landlord for the past 13 years... I'm his 'assistant' but to be honest, I hate the job. It doesn't pay me as well as it should.
When I talk to him about going back to school, he shuts me down, telling me that at my age it's really stupid with 4 kids to want to go back to school, and that if it's something I really wanted to do, I should have done it before having kids. When I talk to him about going back to work, finding a real job, he tells me that he won't be able to get certain tax returns if I go back to work... Part of me hates my life. This sucks. I don't go out, haven't bought myself anything new in years.... I'm always last. For everything and everyone.
I can't even follow people I went to school with on social media. Most of them have gone to university and have incredible careers.... Whereas, I have nothing. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment and I sleep on a pull out couch with my husband. I feel like I failed myself somewhere along the way....
Does anyone else feel that way? Like they've missed out on the best years of their lives?