They really are incapable of taking care of themselves and have refused to downsize. I’ve been pushing the issue but bye refuse to help or half heartedly do nothing. I have to digress for a minute. For years, through my teens I asked them for help with managing my weight (they’re horrible when it comes to eating healthy), they’ve refused. Whenever they have asked if they can help, I’ve requested they do something and then they refuse and go do something else. I’m lactose intolerant, gluten sensitive (yes I’ve been diagnosed with both) and now because of the constant stress (cooking lost of their meals, cleaning and taking care of the house hold, driving them to medical appointments) + a stressful job I’ve developed Crohn’s disease.
One of the most recent requests was that my father (who is in end stage kidney failure, it’s his own fault for not managing his type two diabetes) go on a prepared meal plan. It stressful having to plan meals and then have to barter with him on what he’ll actually eat, I just can’t do it anymore. He said he would, but it’s been a week and he won’t don’t anything. There’s no will to move expeditiously on anything.
My mother who has had several mini strokes as a result of her diet has regressed to the point of a toddler wanting to eat junk food all the time, unable to do any chores without me following up (laundry has set for two days after being washed), and is extremely nosy. Even before the strokes she would have family friends stalk me on FB (don’t have a FB anymore) so she could see what I was doing at college or who I was dating/spending time with. She read my journal and didn’t apologize. What an ass. She attracts leaches, people who “like her” because they use her and make her feel valuable. She refuses to acknowledge this and has tried to set me up with such people.
After having no real privacy for 17 years, I’m just a bit fed up. Every friendship or fledgling relationships she’d try to interfere or my father would try and tell me what to do. They scream and yell at each other and don’t value people or at least the right people. I’ve never told them anything because they wouldn’t approve, wouldn’t understand or would try to get involved.
I’ve tried again and again to set boundaries. I’ve told them, I already sacrifice enough to take care of you two, this house and everything else. You have no right or pry into my microscopic social life. Yeah, BuT WerE yoUR PaREnts. And you’ve refused to help me with anything I actually have needed help with. You have no right to know everything about my life.
After weeks of trying my patience, refusing to do any necessary downsizing (minor stuff sorting and calling an electrician and plumber), I exploded. This week I’m going camping with a very close friend. My parents are aware of her (only her name), but I’ve never told them anything because it’s sort of a pseudo relationshipy friendship where we travel, and do things I wouldn’t normally do with a platonic friend (to put it simply).
They both started telling me what to do. Two people who have never camped a day in their life and can’t take care of themselves. My father is rotting and watches camping shoes. He proceeds to lecture me, and I ignored it and politely asked him to stop telling nel what to do because he his not aware of any of the specifics of the camping setup nor what we plan to do. Two days and he just wouldn’t stop and my mother just kept jumping in and telling me what to do.
I exploded again because they refuse to listen to any polite requests, explanations as to why it’s not their place to get involved. I have started to hate them with a passion because they’ve become so selfish about everything. They’ve been living vicariously through me when I started to become “interesting” (their words). There are positive and negatives to any parent child relationship, but they’ve failed to provide the help I needed and I have succeeded not because of their “help”, but in spite of it. Now they’re draining me of any will to live and not acknowledging the sorry state of things.
Anyone able to get their parents to keep their distance, let me know. I know it sounds callous, but the only way I will ever have of life of any contentment is away from them. Either I move away as soon as they’re in assisted living (not far off) or wait until they die (not really).
TL;DR: I’m really starting it hate/resent my parents. I’ve been stuck with the take of taking care of them but they refuse to cooperate. Even worse, they refuse to respect my privacy. I’m not an angry person, but they’ve been driving me to explode. How to i get them to respect boundaries. I’m so sick of being an angry person, it’s not who I amZ

Platform(s): PC. I highly doubt that it was released on consoles.
Genre: RTS.
Estimated year of release: 2002 - 2007. My father brought me a CD with this strategy around 2007, and it definitely got a lot from Warcraft 3.
Graphics/art style: Something between Warcraft 3 and Age of Empires 3: little bit more realistic character design and better textures than in Warcraft 3, but overall looked worse than AoE 3. Art style was taken like from classic fantasy games, where each race had distinguishing building and character styles with their favourite colours. Elves had camps with natural structures built with leaves and wood and had everything coloured in green with a bit of violet and red. Humans lived in medievil cities with stone buildings coloured in white, blue and gray. Demons inhabited infernal settelments, with lava gurgling around infernal-looking obsidian buildings coloured in black, red and orange.
Notable characters: All three races had their own units who served almost the same roles, but I can recall only several of them. Elves had elvish bowmen, huge stone (or wooden???) giants and wolf riders as their cavalry. Humans had knight cavalry and giants that looked like giants from Clash of Clans. Demons had an expensive unit called Angel of Death of something like this: it had only 1 hit point, but was invisible and dealt massive damage to units and moderate to heroes and buildings. Each fraction had their own heroes (like in Warcraft 3) which were stronger than their units, but I can't recall anyone except a demon's hero who looked like Urgoth from League of Legends, but his legs were his own, fleshy, not metal.
Notable gameplay mechanics: Basically it felt like Warcraft 3, but with lesser options. As in any RTS game, you had to collect resources to build and create your own army to defeat your opponent. You had your main building (a forest palace, a stone town hall of an obsidian building(?)) where you could buy new buildings and upgrades. I do not remember all resources you had to collect, but there were wood, stone and gold for sure. You could build barraks and other buildings to make units and to upgrade them. You also had to build walls and towers to protect your base. Towers and other buildings (not all of them) had an upgrage which placed a blue eye on top of them and revealed invisible units around. Your heroes could upgrade their special abilities, mostly nukes or buffs (no examples in my head). As in Warcraft 3, you couldn't have a huge army because of the resources restriction you had to balance your supplies and number of units. I also remember that there were neutral buildings and camps scattered across the map where you could find additional supplies or hire unique units.
Other details:

• There was three campains, one for each race. Each level had their own main goal, like "Destroy the enemy base" or "Go to the certain point with these units alive" or "Hold your position against enemy assault".
• On one level in Demon's campain you had four or five heroes, but no units, and had to fight through the enemy forces, gathering resouces and units from neutral objectives.
• On another Demon level where you fought against Humans you had a small base, with almost nothing, but in the opening cutscene you had an Angel of Death right in the middle of human base who gave you a speech and usually died after that: humans quickly, in like 10 seconds, started upgraiding their towers with anti-invisibility eyes and killed your Angel. BUT! if you were fast enough, you could outmaneuver the A.I. and immideately after the start of the gameplay lead your Angel out of the radius of central towers, so it could slip out of the base unnoticed: A.I. upgraded the towers closest to its town hall first, then on the outskirts of the base near the gates and then the walls. You had a 10 second time window to run past everybody and everything towards the gates and save your valuable Angel for later.

I think I got a cold sore on my mouth this week. I have never gotten a cold sore in my entire life. None of my family have gotten one either. It's like a big stigma in our community. I am not the type of person that does casual sex. I have only had sex with one person and I don't kiss casually either. I can count on one hand the people I have kissed on the mouth.
I recently downloaded Hinge and I match and talk to multiple people on there. I went on dates with two different people. On the first date, there was no hug or kiss exchange. The second person I went on a date with I kissed and we agree to keep hanging out. After going on two back-to-back dates with them, I felt some tingling on my lips. I didn't think much of it but 1 or days after I noticed a bump on my lip. It looks like a dry patch. I didn't have any fluids in the bump/dry patchCue me freaking out and searching the internet. (btw its really hard to find pictures of black people with cold sores on google). So now I think I might have herpes.
I really hope not but I have not gone to the doctor because I don't have insurance this year. I will try to get tested this weekend but I heard both false negatives and false positives happen with these test. So I think I will keep having anxieties with either result. I absolutely don't want my family or friends to find out about this. I know most of the population have it but that does not help my fear. I have been having emotional breaking downs every day since then. I can't eat anything due to being anxious and fearful.
I tried to go on herpes/cold sores subreddits but everyone has accepted its as no big deal there and I feel like my concerns would be treated as trivial. It would have been better if symptoms did not show because at the least I could live happily unaware. It feels so unfair. I have never done bad in my life. I get tested regularly despite not having casual sex. I have never even have mono. Honestly mono might have been better because there is less stigma on mono than herpes. If it is really herpes HSV 1, I'm probably going to isolate myself from everyone. I don't even know how to go about addressing this with the hinge guy. Do I confront him about him possibly passing this on to me? I don't know what to do. If anyone in my family ever finds out I will be shamed and ridiculed but I don't want to accidentally pass anything to them so that's why I think isolation might be best. What should i do?

I find their content completely infantilises ADHD. She behaves like a literal child, baby voice and all. It drives me crazy as well how it's staged to look so 'authentic' - they literally set the camera up for these interactions?! I find it so bizarre but they have close to 900k followers so clearly a lot of people eat up the content and I'm the minority in the snark here. Just getting this off my chest.
Admittedly I find some of the concepts relatable, as someone with ADHD, but like I said to me I find it offensive and infantilising. I've struggled with this for my entire life and still on a day to day basis struggle to maintain a professional career. It's not cutesy, fun and quirky. Gross.

Hi!
I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this! I just wanted an outside opinion on my situation!
I’ve been seeing my current therapist since 2021 and she’s amazing. After seeing a few ones I didn’t mesh well with, it’s been a blessing finding her. She only accepts once insurance provider and it worked out at the time to be the one I had through my previous employer.
I got laid off in November of 2022 and we agreed for me to pay $30 a session until I found a job. I started my new job last week and after enrolling in benefits, my insurance provider is not the one she accepts.
I have been so grateful she worked with me on the price for the last 6 months.
Here’s my dilemma, money is still very tight and I cannot afford her normal rate. I haven’t been able to talk to her about it yet, but I suspect she may possibly offer for me to continue at a lower rate, although I can’t be certain.
My problem is that I have felt awful this is entire past 6 months about paying her a fraction of her normal rate, and I thought when I finally found a new job things could go back to normal. But I feel absolutely horrible not paying her even half of her full rate. She told me when we agreed to it back in November, that she would tell me if she ever couldn’t swing the reduced rate anymore and to not worry about it.
Maybe I’m just working myself into a tizzy but I just can’t help thinking about how she has her own life and bills to pay and I feel like I’m taking advantage.
If she offers to keep a reduced rate, should I continue or possibly look for someone in network so she has a spot open for someone who could pay more? I know it might seem silly but I genuinely want to hear others thoughts.
Thank you!

I recently rekindled a friendship. We had a massive fight because we were both in bad places mentally and we stopped talking for 3 years. I was the one that apologized first and even though I feel like she's happy to have me back in her life, I still feel that she didn't give me the apology that I deserved and that if I didn't extend myself to apologize, she'd be content with never hearing from me again and thinking she was in the right. I recently visited her and she seemed happy to have me over. Shes also been on antidepressants for awhile. Some things have changed about her in a positive way, but it still bothered me that when she would talk about her other friendships or work relationships, that she apologized to one friend or she has done that for another, all the while I was reflecting on how she hasn't done that for me. And when she would talk about her other friends, it seemed that she was more considerate towards them. Again, maybe her personality changed and that shes not only like that with them now, but also to me. Anyways, I'm finding it hard to let go of the old sediments I had about her during our fall out: that she's self-centered, egotistical, controlling, and vindictive. For instance, she's been a side chick for a guy she liked in the past knowing he had a long term girlfriend. She has also told me about shady things she has done in the past that makes me question her character.Anyways, she came to visit me but some things annoyed me about her while she was here. I found out that she still talks about herself constantly for hours. I am good listener so I don't need to always be the center of attention in a conversation, but it seems that anytime she is talking, she is commenting on how smart or good she is at something, or how someone has commented that about her. Honestly, it makes me sick how delusional she is. Yes, she is good at some things but I've never heard someone talk about themselves in such a way but actually lacks many departments. Its gotten to the point that I actually think to myself, even laugh, as she is talking because she's so unaware of her shortcomings. The lack of self-awareness is outstanding and I almost feel as though I am watching a crazy person lie to people all the while not knowing how they appear to others. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she is a horrible person, I just think that maybe people don't truly change. Like she borders on narcissism and maybe that is always how she'll be. Like that part of her is unchangeable. Or she clearly doesn't see how she appears to others or that nothing is wrong with her behavior even though when we were fighting, I had made the comment that she was self-centered. Maybe she is just doing this to be annoying. IDK but it was overwhelming. She also seemed to want to impress and get know my partner more. Which is normal, but for instance - we went to an Italian restaurant which she seemed to not enjoy by lack of not eating while we were there. I think she expected my partner to pay for her, but he clearly distinguished that him and I were on separate checks. And sort of raised her voice and it was crackly because the guy was not understanding how we wanted the checks, and she seemed just bothered by her tone that she would be paying for her own meal. On the ride back everything seemed fine. We were just talking nonsense in the car. When we got back home, she started crying because she said she missed her partner and that this is the longest (2 days) that she has been from them in 7+ years. Then proceeded to talk about for the next two hours her relationship with him and everything leading up to and after her dads death a year ago. Which I was genuinely okay with hearing and talking about to be supportive, but it was just odd because right up until we checked out from the restaurant she seemed normal other than not particularly enjoying the food at the restaurant.She made comments about how she thinks her and my partner are very similar, which I don't think is true. She said she wanted buy cushion and extra pillows for our catch cause its not comfortable and leave here for when she visits. Just very strange things that were almost too much for her first visit to my place. IDK if I am wrong, or if she's coming on too strong, or maybe we just shouldn't be friends. Any feedback would help. Again, I like her personality. We have many things in common. But obviously im still bothered.

It is around 4:37 am here and I just woke up. I had this very wierd dream. I was living a life an a celebrity (shahrukh khan) and was having fling with two different women and both of them were have different perspective about my job and my side business. Which is kind of true with respect to my real life. And suddenly I'm back at my side business where I need spare parts to get something fixed...
Then it turns out into this very real haunting scenario where I have go across this heavy fog and forest( sort of) .. I see my dead grandfather sitting at the porch waiting for me, he was sick but was okay to go with me. We get on cycles and there is a very special way to reach that place.. it related to some book that family (in the dream) had for ages. The book is in complete but people figured out you need to take ride close your eyes and read last line.. it with set you a direction which lead to a water source either a river or canal .. you will find the thing you need it there.. use a nvg to find the things lurking in the dark but you will end up sick and dead when you would return.. my grandfather is okay sacrificing himself for me..but the thing is in reality he died last year. He was sick for a very long time. Seeing him walking again was overwhelming. And now I'm sitting on my bed. Thinking about the dream again and again... Hoping to see him again.

I decided to work on releasing my resistance to surrendering to the universe. I had an incredible experience of meditation which changed the way I see many things, but despite its effortlessness and beauty, I am scared to go there again. There was zero resistance the first time as entering that state wasn't intentional, and even if it had of been, I would have zero idea of how overwhelming it would be in retrospect. It seems kind of ridiculous that I wouldn't want to be in a permanent transcendent state. The day after I tried to get it back but couldn't. Since then I've been my normal self at times, but have been spending around half of each day in a state of extreme clarity and calmness.
I haven't taken my ADHD meds, because my focus is piercing. I didn't drink on my birthday because I needed zero extra to let go or feel relaxed and happy. That state, the milder version of a transcendent state I can accept happily. It's just the stronger version of it, where I feel like I could happily clean my windows or be in solitary confinement for all my life, just feeling at one with the universe and seeing everything in a way that is so familiar somehow yet completely alien scares me. But at the same time, I realise that everyone only does *anything*, be it good or bad, because in some ways they think it would make them happier or their lives more tolerable. I see this is a shortcut there. It will completely solve my ADHD, although I think this milder state will do that on its own, and it would also sort out my problems with fearing closeness. I've already changed so much of my misguided thought process. I thought that these two things would always be dampening my life experience somehow. I see the solution, by in the same way I find it difficult to believe anyone elses love for me, and push it away, I feel the same way about this feeling of connection when in that state. Also, I feel like anything that feels *that good* it must be bad. It made me realise that I do also have some desires for the future still, and giving into that state would mean deciding to give up on them.
But nevertheless, I decided to surrender. To just let go and allow myself to receive the feeling. To trust the universe. I spent some time meditating and writing about it, and then I had a sense of urgency, like I was supposed to go out. I had nowhere to be. There was nothing I needed. But I just decided to trust the feeling. I just had a sense that the universe was taking me where I needed to be, and this was a test, to show if I was tuned in, to show if I would trust. I jumped in the shower, felt more urgency like I needed to leave very soon, and went out with the back of my hair a bit damp. I walked with absolutely no idea where I was going. At each turning I just stopped and went what way I felt I was supposed to. I walked past someone talking to a friend and all I heard was "This is a journey you've got to take". A bus stopped at the stop just ahead of me, I had no idea where it was going, I hadn't got that bus before, but had the sudden urge to run and jump on it. I jumped off when I felt the need to.
There was a beautiful park, which I hadn't been to before. I wondered if I was just supposed to be around nature, but it felt like more than that. I wandered through it, just taking in all the happy little moments I was seeing. Everyone seemed happy. A lady had music playing and was dancing with her two children, as I walked past the lyrics were "Hurry up she's waiting there for you". I walked up towards a fountain which was switched off and I got the feeling that here is where I am supposed to wait. That kind of confused me. Then a crow flew right in front of me and did a haphazard flutter and went back in the direction it came in. I thought, surely I'm not waiting for the crow haha. Later I googled and saw crows are symbolic of psychic awareness.
So I thought if I am waiting, I'm not standing by a turned-off fountain so decided to sit down somewhere. That felt right. I went round the corner and there was a lady in the distance on a bench and I wondered if I was supposed to talk to her. She was chatting to a friend on her phone. I was enjoying the beauty of the park. Watching the shadows moving, thinking that the present moment is where the shadows meet the light. There were a few people just sitting on the grass. The light was reflecting off the grass in a brilliant white, like an artist's highlight. The tree in front of me was the perfect shape, and very old, tree of life style. I was watching this but also very aware of most of the phone conversations she was having.
She was talking about the importance of supporting and being supported, but also supporting yourself. She was talking about joy coming from within and the importance of externals and how she just wants to live and experience life. She discussed an issue that she was having without casting a single bit of blame. She was talking about the dichotomy of control and just seemed like a very lovely person. I was just generally wowed by her emotional intelligence and thought yup, you would be the perfect friend. I felt that she was who I was supposed to meet. And THEN she said in the phone conversation that she's just moved to the UK, and she really wants to make friends and live her life, do more stuff. And I thought that the universe couldn't make this any easier if it tried. I didn't know if she would walk off on her phone or not, so in case she did I wrote down my number.
I don't know how much time passed, maybe half an hour, maybe one, but she did go. A beautiful albatross had just wandered up to the bench which is symbolic of good luck. I called her, and she was still on the phone, and I was like "Sorry, I couldn't help overhearing your conversation, I know your new to the UK and want to meet new people, I think we've got a lot in common so if you want to do something just let me know". She was so happy and smiley and thankful, and it was at that moment I was like woooooah this girl is beautiful on the outside as well, I didn't see her face before. She's a petite California beach babe, and there I am, all five foot nine of me looming, and clumping along in my doc marten boots and leather mini skirt. It's only since my original mini-awakening type meditation that I have the overwhelming sense that we are basically all the same though. Our personalities are built around our wants, desires, fears, hope s and dreams, and are moulded by past experiences. Before I would have pre-rejected myself from being her friend because of our external differences. But now I just feel like we are both people who know what the shortcut to joy is. And I just feel the need to support her.
She messaged me and I'm so excited. We're going for lunch next Friday, and I'm kind of terrified when I'm in a less meditative place like "omg the universe has sent her into my life, that's so much pressure" and "What if she rejects me because of my past experiences which I've recently decided to be open about". At other times I'm just calmer and filled with happiness.
I'm not expecting I'll be having more experiences like this. I just know I will. I feel the need to document them, so will be doing so.

I am a 24M, I haven’t talked to this girl since covid , we were studying together in college , our first encounter was when my crush was chatting with her friend about me like “look at him” so I approached her and started talking to her , we eventually exchanged social media and had a few more classes together and we were always sitting together in classes talking, making jokes at college and I felt amazing chemistry like we match perfectly, she even told me that she loves me so I know she felt the same(in a friendly way not romantic because we were not in a relationship). We agreed to go out together some time but then the lockdown happened, we lost connection since then , we have not talked. Its been a few years now and I still did not manage to find any other girl I have this chemistry with even though I tried. Though she might be in a relationship because she posted a picture with a guy in the past and I am afraid she will just see me as a friend or she moved on after these few years passed. Should I DM her? I’m thinking of DM’ing her in the next few months when I would have progressed a bit more in my life, but I am hesitating because I felt hurt by her when I saw her posting a pic with a different guy. Any advice would be appreciated.

I keep trying to play my game with the mods but it kept freezing on the black and have to constantly restart my pc.
I need help do I need to add or delete any mods.
Here's the list of mods I have downloaded in: +Yukichigai Unofficial Patch - YUP
+You Go To My Head - A Vanilla-Style Legion Quest Mod
+Yes I Would Actually - A Legion Quest Mod
+Working on the Chain Gang - A Powder Ganger Quest Mod esm
+Working on the Chain Gang - A Powder Ganger Quest Mod
+Wendy Gilbert Companion
+Voiced Doc Friday for New Vegas Bounties II
+Unofficial Patch NVSE Plus
+Unofficial Patch NVSE
+UIO - User Interface Organizer
+TSC Vegas
+truth and lies death crossover
+The Someguy Series
+The North Road Remastered
+The Mod Configuration Menu fix
+The Mod Configuration Menu
+The Initiation
+The Inheritance
+The High Desert
+The Depths of Depravity
+Th3Overseer's Core ESM
+th3overseer Quest Mod Bugfixes
+Tammer's Customizable Companion - Jessica
+Tammer's Customizable Companion - Fletcher
+Tammer armory
+Tammer guns
+Stronger Traveling Merchants
+STM
+Sierra Madre Grand Entrance
+ShowOff xNVSE Plugin
+ShowOff xNVSE
+Sarah Weintraub Sexy Sleepwear Fix
+Sarah Weintraub Companion - More Than Just a Classy Chassis
+Russell
+Roleplayers Alternative Start Fallout New Vegas
+Restored Papa Khan Armor
+Quick Fix
+Perk Styled CCC Icons
+Pepper Companion - hair
+Pepper Companion - Fully voiced with quest
+Old Abraham - Companion for Freedom and Liberty
+Of Truth and Lies - New Quests. Weapons and Armours
+NVTF - New Vegas Tick Fix
+NVAC - New Vegas Anti Crash
+New Vegas Bounties III - Marko Story Rewrite Edit
+New Vegas Bounties III
+New Vegas Bounties II Fixes
+New Vegas Bounties II (NVBII) transition to New Vegas Bounties III (NVBIII)
+New Vegas Bounties II
+New Vegas Bounties I - Immersive Start
+New Vegas Bounties I
+NCR Trooper Overhaul_beta
+Mojave Reloaded (Factions Reloaded Series)
+Mojave Raiders
+Masters of the Madre main file
+Masters of the Madre -- Player-Elijah Alliance and Cloud Ending Continue
+lStewieAl's Tweaks and Engine Fixes
+lStewieAl's
+Lime's Old Mormon Fort Overhaul
+Leanne Companion FULLY VOICED
+kNVSE Animation Plugin
+JSawyer Ultimate Edition Patches
+JSawyer Ultimate Edition
+JohnnyGuitar NVSE
+Joey - A Companion Mod
+Joana Companion
+JIP LN NVSE Plugin
+JIP Companions Command and Control
+JAM - Just Assorted Mods
+I Fought the Law - NCR Start
+Humble Goodsprings Bungalow
+Hope Lies - A FNV Companion
+Herbert - A Bounty Quest Mod
+Headhunting
+Hall Of Face
+For the Enclave
+FNV Mod Limit Fix
+FNV Mod Limit
+Faster Start Menu (Skip Splash Screens)
+Factions Reloaded - Raiders
+Factions Reloaded - Legion
+Factions Reloaded - Followers of the Apocalypse
+Faction Wasteland Presence Compilation
+Faction Wasteland Presence - Improved Edition
+Eve's Vacation Fund Weapon Pack
+Eve's Vacation Fund Weapon
+Emily Ortal Standalone Doctor Companion
+Eliza
+Eden - A Vendor Mod
+Easy To Find Hidden Valley Bunker - ETFHVB
+Death's Last Whisper - lines
+Death's Last Whisper - Hugs AND Death
+Death's Last Whisper - fix
+Death's Last Whisper - b2
+Death's Last Whisper - b1
+Dagger- The Fully Voiced Super Mutant Companion
+Chem Control - A Fully-Voiced Quest Mod
+Caesars New Regime - Legion Overhaul
+Brotherhood of Steel Unforgotten
+Big Mike - A Fully Voiced Ghoul Mercenary Companion
+Better Brotherhood
+Bees For Sale. A Quest For Bees
+Battle For Bitter Springs Campground
+Base Building (FO4 inspired)
*DLC: CaravanPack
*DLC: ClassicPack
*DLC: DeadMoney
*DLC: GunRunnersArsenal
*DLC: HonestHearts
*DLC: LonesomeRoad
*DLC: MercenaryPack
*DLC: OldWorldBlues
*DLC: TribalPack
*Unmanaged: FalloutNV_lang

Been offered a pretty good rate relative to current times anyways, through meridian credit union. Most threads here seem to be generally positive about meridian mortgages here. I had some concerns though that I am having trouble understanding. Thank you to anyone who takes time to answer my questions.
its a 5yr term fixed, high ratio mortgage. offer was 4.39%.
1) I heard from the broker that the penalty was very high to break your mortgage, calculated same as a bank, but I just called meridian customer service myself to ask more details about this, and she said it was calculated at 3 months interest plus $300 discharge fee. I thought that was how its calculated for variable? Anyone have experience with this? Obviously I'm not looking to break intentionally, but I want to understand the penalties incase it comes up for whatever reason.
2) Are these mortgages conventional style or collateral? I can't find anything on this
3) What if we want to move to a nicer or bigger house at year 3 out of the 5 year term? Can we just port the mortgage or is there some kind of penalty involved?

about a year ago, i had this realization that i was giving 150% in all of my relationships and was only receiving the same effort back from only one or two people. that being said, i’ve tried to prioritize the people who prioritize me and that meant letting people i love deeply go. i found great friends in college and feel so grateful to have met new people, but i also made the incredibly hard decision to distance myself from two of my best friends from home when i finally saw they were taking advantage of my lack of boundaries. since then, i’ve spent a lot of time with myself, putting in the energy i gave others into myself for once, and it’s been such a freeing experience to work on loving myself!
i have quality people in my life who i love and cherish, but i still find myself feeling lonely at times. most of my friends went back to their hometowns for summer and we still talk, but i spend my days physically by myself. i know this is temporary and i’m very grateful to have great people in my life (even if via phone), yet i can’t shake feeling incredibly alone.
i’ve heard the phrase “healing is a lonely journey” so i know it’s a trade off for self improvement and growth, but how do i deal with it? is there another way to rewrite this narrative?

How can there be different BPD subtypes recognised but not CPTSD subtypes?
We all went through complex trauma - of course we develop different truama responses to different triggers. I hate personality disorder diagnoses. They can often be viewed through the lens of CPTSD except its a stain on your medical record and if you assert yourself to a psychiatrist you are told to take a deep breath, you are told you are beyond treatment etc.
Most people with BPD have childhood trauma. Why can't this be viewed through a lens of CPTSD instead of blaming someone for their broken personality? BPD symptoms often result from triggers that look irrational to most people but are perfectly normal responses to the traumas they have gone through. We struggle with emotional dysregulation like people with BPD because of these triggers.
Personality disorders (particularly B and C cluster) have huge responses to perceived threat. Isnt that just textbook hypervigilance and feeling unsafe in the world?
Let's look at BPD symptoms from a CPTSD lens shall we.
Strong mood swings in response to small, inconsequential events This sounds exactly like emotional flashbacks which are often irrational, huge reactions to triggers that we often don't even notice.
Unstable self image It's said people with CPTSD have stable self image as a core difference between the two but... how can we? How can we separate ourselves from the abuse? I've changed my appearance a lot to try and look as unappealing as possible to deter any possible predators. Plus CPTSD is a requirement for OSDD, DID etc which involve major identity disturbances. So clearly CPTSD must have issues with unstable self-image to a degree? I feel fragmented. Like there are lots of parts of me that are still me, just completely different.
Transient dissociation/psychosis under stress Massive hyperarousal or hypoarousal in response to ongoing triggers or stressful life events. A truama response clearly. Of course we would experience paranoia that others are out to get us under times of high stress when in the past, others WERE out to get us and we were chronically under high stress. Is this even any different than hypervigilance?
Fear of abandonment A lot of us have abandonment or neglect trauma. Is there anyone with CPTSD who isn't terrified of having to relive these experiences of feeling unloved? Our entire mental illness stems from being unloved, abused, neglected or abandoned as children. Of course many of us would have this specific trauma as a trigger. A lot of us have a disorganised attachment style which means we naturally will experience a push-pull dynamic because of our core beliefs of who we are - that we don't deserve to be with someone who treats us as a person. This was instilled in us from childhood.
Chronic emptiness Structural dissociation. Our 'apparently normal part' which navigates day to day life. Or hypoarousal under stress - freeze response.
Inappropriate, explosive anger Fight response. Appears inappropriate - some of us weren't allowed to feel those emotions so they come on fucking strong. Some of us had to have a fight response to survive.
Difficulty maintaining stable relationships When all you have known is dysfunction, of course you will have Intense relationships that often mimic that of your abuser. It is often all we have known. That is why we get revictimised so often. This is just straight up attachment theory taken out of context. We crave the ups and the downs because that's all we have ever known.
Negative self-image, suicidal ideation, self-harm People with CPTSD have chronic feelings of shame, unworthiness, suicidality because of our fucking trauma. I don't think self harming should be counted as a symptom of anything let alone a personality disorder - its a coping mechanism. Chronic suicidal ideation is clearly a sign that life is just too difficult to live - something we as CPTSDers know too well.
Seeing the world in extremes Again, disorganised attachment. Everything is a threat and we have to be hypervigilant. Anyone we love could quickly become dangerous. We have a sense of impending doom. For a lot of us, our abusers would idealise then devalue us. Of course we would copy this pattern. We also may find it hard to trust others so when they break our trust it's gone. This is just more hyperarousal and hypoarousal, as well as distorted cognitive beliefs about ourselves because of our abuse. Of course we see our partners as perfect for putting up with us as burdens and always being there for us in our dark days. Of course when they unintentionally trigger us and remind us of an abuser we see that in them and fear them/want to distance ourselves from them/want to fight back. A lot of us were brainwashed by our abusers to see the world a certain way - in extremes.
Impulsivity and risk-taking behaviour A lot of us are reckless with our lives. Substabce abuse is just classic flight mode, trying to run away from the intense feelings. Risky sex is often a result of sexual trauma. We don't feel our life is worth much so of course we spend money carelessly to fill the void when we often don't even feel like we will last until next week. Of course we will do whatever we can to numb the pain even if just for a second.
This is just for the main symptoms not taking into account the different 'subtypes' which could truly just be different presentations of CPTSD. I feel this way about all Cluster B and C personality disorders. If you've only ever received love when you've achieved perfection, why wouldn't you develop NPD symptoms? If you've been taught violence is just how life is and others will hurt you as a stepping stone to achieve their own goals, why wouldn't you develop ASPD symptoms? If the only time you ever experienced love and compassion was when you had to seek attention, why wouldn't you have HPD symptoms?
A lot of us also have repressed memories or traumas that occurred before we could form visual memories. So some of us feel really disconnected from our trauma, hence we might only have somatic or emotional flashbacks rather than visual/auditory flashbacks.
I just don't see where the difference is between CPTSD and a lot of personality disorders. If you can have a PD 'subtype', why wouldn't that just be our COMPLEX array of ongoing traumas rearing their ugly heads in response to what was happening to us? That is why I think so many cluster Bs and Cs also fit symptoms of other personality disorders - because its not their personality that is the problem, it's that they are constantly reliving their traumas and haven't been given the tools to help reparent themselves. But instead they are psychiatrically labelled as problematic, abusive and difficult to work with rather than traumatised individuals who developed maladaptive responses which made perfect sense at the time.
Sigh. Just thinking about my BPD diagnosis and how it has ruined my psychiatric quality of care. I have a first appointment for mentalization - based psychotherapy soon because I told my mental health team that my childhood trauma is making my life difficult as well as my caring responsibilities for my partner. Just another therapy that blames the BPD patient for unstable relationships even if they don't have them. Just another therapy that tells traumatised people they are unable to empathise or understand that others have feelings of their own.
I wonder what would be different for me if I never got that diagnosis after a 20 minute consultation during a depressive episode after having experienced a very traumatic abandonment event by my abuser. All they saw was that I was in and out of tears, that I had an unstable relationship with my abuser, that I self harmed to cope and had chronic suicidal ideation from being around him. They saw that I numbed the pain with substances. They saw I was afraid of abandonment after I had JUST been abandoned incredibly traumatically. They saw I hated myself, had deep feelings of shame but also anger towards my abuser. This was all a sign of a disordered personality. A 20 minute consultation with a woman I had never met and I was given a diagnosis of BPD because of my recent trauma. I had an entire history of notes accessible to her from age 12-17 being in the mental health system that long and she couldn't be bothered to access my records and see that I was an abused child, she didn't even ask about any history of abuse. The only reason I don't have records from even longer ago is because I was being emotionally neglected, quiet and kept to myself, and only started acting out when I moved countries. My diagnosis is a stain that undermines what I've been through and treats me as a problem. I was in the mental health system from fucking 12 years old and all I got was this lousy personality disorder diagnosis that treats my trauma responses as a core issue with me, I'm broken and can't be fixed. This POV still fucking exists with psychistrists and psychotherapists.
This isnt meant to undermine anyone's PD diagnosis if they feel it fits them. More power to you, I'm happy for you if you feel seen finally. I just wonder how much of it is just... a presentation of CPTSD. Considering how many psychistrists don't even believe in CPTSD and just see patients as labels. It's infuriating.

Hey guys. I got sober March 16th, I’ve gotten sober b4 but this time I have been going through absolute hell with my mental health. Atleast when I was using I had a quality of life. but everyday I sit in bed I’m so depressed I didn’t even feel this bad when I found my sister hanging. i have a counselor I’m on anxiety meds have been for years and I’m just so not interested in going out, I’m isolating myself. When I’ve gotten sober before I have bounced back for my life right with work everything. Nothing bad has happened but I can’t shake this really . Everyday I’m writing in my journal, manifesting things out loud, working out, stretching meditating , reading , breathing excersises. Idk what’s happening anyways about 3 days ago I got an air bnb with a friend visiting from la and got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and I looked on the dresser and I found a package of blues I ended up taking 3 from the bag and ended up doing them, I feel so guilty and when I did them I got high but kept throwing up anyways I’m back on my subs but I’m so depressed idk what to do. I’m 25 stay w my mom I’m jus so lost

Obsessed, She's in a Relationship. Want to Stop.
I have no intention to pursue her romantically, I find my feelings to be grossly inappropriate. She's shown no romantic interest in me, never flirted from what I can tell lol. She just enjoys my company.
I don't even know her values or other important things like that. I just think she's pretty, intelligent, independent, funny, we have so many similar interests. She's a good friend and I want to be part of her life. I want to make her laugh and I do.
I had an opportunity to date her years before too, we matched on tinder. I dropped the ball after the second message. Met her again through my ex-girlfriend (current best friend.)
Her current boyfriend is an amazing guy. Great friend to me. They're happy together too. Been dating for a couple years now. I keep comparing myself to him, since he's very similar to me, but has most of his shit together. I know these feelings are inappropriate too. I'm struggling at curbing that.
I assume my obsession stems from my poor self-esteem. It's so poor, I daydream, imagining her having mutual feelings for me but I have to reject her. She's too good for me. I can't even fantasize being happy with her.
Tried to date, I'm in no shape to date atm.
I'm looking for help, I want to stop having these feelings. I'm currently working on myself, starting therapy, self-care, hobbies and all that. Want some direction to practice mindfulness for this situation or tips to stop the ruminating thoughts and vivid daydreams. Just want some immediate relief from this. ATM im just ashamed for having these feelings and in despair that my years of untreated autism is hindering me from understanding what an actual, healthy, romantic relationship is like.
I mostly just want to get this off my chest, don't have any other close friends to talk about these feelings with.
Other details: • I'm 27, underemployed, college dropout, lives w/ parents. • Trauma • Diagnosed with BPD early last year • Self-Harm, Spent time in a psyche ward this year. • Have a therapist, group therapy too • Self-Diagnosed w/ autism a month ago. Still processing that, feels like I'm grieving for my past self. • Neurodivergent, adhd, processing disorder, dyslexic.

Hello Reddit! I am coming here in extremely embarrassing scrambling to find something measures! So basically I (F17) am just newly dating this boy (M17), I am very interested and excited and happy to be with him and have been very sweet and good to him! I am his first gf. His mother recently took away his phone (before we officially started dating) because he had a bad grade in one of his classes, which is already odd since he’s grown, but i understand. She WENT THROUGH his phone and read our texts and then advised him to “make good decisions..” and hinted at how she didn’t like me, here we are about a week later, him and I are dating and his mother wants him to entirely stop talking to me because she swears I’m a bad influence on him (I’ve done nothing to show that, besides my unrelated skipping classes and “talking back to teachers” and my picture of me with birth control) she says I am also “fragile, and healing from the life I’ve lived” she doesn’t want him talking to me at all, I’ve been very sweet to this boy, and his mother hasn’t even met me and doesn’t know anything besides what she saw in him and i’s texts before we were dating (not very much, I might have said how I went to therapy, and he mentioned how she was upset because I flipped off my math work in a picture, and my insensitive jokes.) I want to stay with this boy as he is very sweet and we both have been making each other very happy lately! But his mom just won’t budge on this yet. What can we do?
TLDR; boyfriends mom read his phone and swears I’m crazy and doesn’t want him talking to me but we don’t want to stop talking. What can I do?

I was never much of a Nintendo kid. I went from Megadrive to PS2, to Xbox and so on so i missed out on a lot of those earlier nintendo classics. Finally picked up 3d allstars for the switch and played through Mario 64 for the first time, ending up getting over 100 stars (everything except the 100 coin stars because... no thank you lol)
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It holds up surprisingly well in terms of gameplay structure and level design for the most part. I defintely feel like the first half of the game was much better designed in therms of the levels than the second half, pretty much after you head up to the second floor the quality dips noticably i think, with levels like Wet Dry Land, Rainbow Ride, and Snowman Land just feeling bad tbh.
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But those early levels are great and i feel like the Bowser stages just being basic obstacle courses is fun and a nice change up (even if im someone so bad at the picking bowser up and throwing him lmao).
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I definitely wouldnt mind another game in the style of this, centred around a single hub zone like the castle, with levels and secrets to find. (havent played Sunshine yet so not sure if thats more of the same tbh)
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The BIIIIG problem however, was the controls and camera. I had heard about the camera being rough but you mainly hear control complaints for the DS version specifically. I really didnt like the way Mario controlled, which i understand is a product of its time, being the leading innovation in 3d platformers but the lil guy controls like a tank and i lost track of the times i fell off of a high platform just because i tried doing a 180 to face the other way. Its rough and takes ALOT of getting used to.
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It just really surprises me how much the game could use a remake to solve this issue though and another reminder of just how laxy and thrown together the switch 3d allstars collection felt in general. The game shows its age but i think a remake with modern controls would honestly be enough to bring it into the current year.

hello. created a reddit account just for this. im at my limit
im a 15 year old trans boy who lives near d.c. it's a pretty democratic area, but my parents are pretty religious and VERY transphobic, to the point where they've said they would resent me, not contact me, or take away college funds if I transitioned.
luckily I'm pretty male-passing and am able to safely use the men's restroom and locker room (shoutout to binders), im going to be a junior in high-school soon, and through the final years before I can move out it will be increasingly harder to pass as other boys mature while I don't
my dysphoria is devastating me - hrt is the only thing I need to be truly happy. I'm already on antidepressants and meds for a sleep disorder, dysphoria is literally the only problem in my life right now, but it's the only one my parents won't support me for.
is there ANY way I can get hrt as a minor without parental consent. I don't have money but im extremely desperate and would do whatever it takes to start testosterone.

Is this a nmom thing?
I’m in the process of moving out of my family home into a basement suite. I live in a very expensive city, and have a large dog (my support buddy), so options were kind of limited as a space with a backyard were necessary. Finally found this place that is pricy but within budget, nice yard.
The place is nothing fancy, but it’s got some updates, and good lighting, overall, it’s fine. Especially as someone lacking a high paying job.
As far as home life goes, my mom makes me feel hated every day. She yells at me constantly for not being perfect, but all my life I’ve been trying to appease her to make her stop, but no matter what, it doesn’t. In the car recently, my dad stated that my mom has been telling friends and family about how I am going to fail by moving, stuff like that, meanwhile I feel I am failing by living in their home. But he went on to say I ‘didn’t have to move’.. I explained to him that the way she looks at me makes me feel so hated, and getting yelled at and belittled, called names, etc, it’s hard. My other siblings are a lot more chaotic, but I am the last one that’s at their house, so I’m the scapegoat child. When telling my dad she makes me feel like I am her most hated person, he just said ‘yeah’.
Finally, I’ve been cleaning up the new place, and reluctantly offered to give my mom a tour. There is nothing really wrong with the suite, but in EVERY room, she was visibly disgusted. It was really dramatic, so finally I asked what the problem was and she just said she wouldn’t live here (great… you don’t have to…)
I feel I can’t win. I get discouraged when living in the family home and have it thrown in my face all the time that I still live at home, and now that I’m trying to be independent, I’m discouraged in that too