When unfortunate sporting historians of the future look back on the Denver Broncos 5-win 2022 NFL season there will be a lot said of Mr Unlimited’s rather limited performances and Nathaniel’s inability to hack it as a head coach and rightly so.
However, I think it’s important to at least mention the Broncos strange love affair with the medical room. 21 players took a trip to IR, multiple key starters fell victim to season ending injuries including Tim Patrick, Garett Bolles and Javonte Williams.
And in spite of all of the depressing dog doo-doo the Broncos lost by a single score an astounding 8 times. So that’s something right?
Moving into 2023, General George Paton hired his alternate namesake and former Saints Head Coach Sean Payton for the princely sum of pick 29 in the 2023 NFL Draft (Denver also sent a 2nd rounder in 2024 and received a 3rd rounder in 2024).
Only a few weeks after the appointment of Sean Payton the NFL entered its Free Agency period which led to some big changes at Mile High.
15 players were let go to sign elsewhere around the league but not an awful lot in terms of quality.
Dre’Mont Jones, DE - Seattle Seahawks (3 year, $51 Million) Dre’mont grew into a solid contributor for Denver but I’m glad the Broncos didn’t re-sign him for the money Seattle has. By far the most talented to leave the team in free agency but only a very slight miss.
Calvin Anderson, T - New England Patriots (2 year, $7 Million) Not a splashy name by any means but Anderson knew his role and performed well when called upon, A solid backup with starter experience.
Andrew Beck, FB/TE - Houston Texans (2 year, $6.25 Million) Beck is another reliable contributor who seems to have joined a number of former Broncos in moving to Houston recently. A former Salute to Service Award winner.
Mike Boone, RB - Houston Texans (2 year, $3.1 Million) Boone is a fantastic option to have for Special Teams play, however he lacks real quality when running the ball. There was optimism when he initially signed in Denver but that appears to have fallen to the wayside as he moves on rather silently.
Graham Glasgow, G - Detroit Lions (1 year, $2.75 Million) The Broncos offensive line has been offensive to watch for years. Glasgow however has been one of the bright spots, especially when he played at centre at parts in 2022.
Brandon McMacus, K - Jacksonville Jaguars (1 year, $2 Million) The last member of the Super Bowl 50 winning team has left Dove Valley. In a somewhat surprising but expected move if you look at his declining performances Denver only recently moved on from McManus. It was the right time but it sure is a sad sight to see.
De’Shawn Williams, DE - Carolina Panthers (1 year, $1.75 Million) Losing both Jones and Williams is a slight concern in terms of depth. Although Williams isn’t as productive as his former teammate he’s certainly a steal for the Panthers as a rotational/back up. He’s arguably serviceable as a starter as well and knows the defensive staff in Carolina very well.
Eric Saubert, TE - Miami Dolphins (1 year, $1.68 Million) I forgot Eric was even on the team, his receiving qualities aren’t much to go crazy for with 15 recs and 148 yards on a career best 2022 season and his run blocking isn’t fantastic either albeit it is his stronger game.
Billy Turner, T - New York Jets (1 year, $1.5 Million) Billy was a sad loss back in 2018 when he first left for Green Bay. However he couldn’t really get started and spent large parts of the season on IR.
Latavius Murray, RB - Buffalo Bills (1 year, $1.3 Million) Latavius is the biggest loss for Denver in my opinion. The only member of the team who showed passion, drive and self respect throughout his short lived time in Colorado. The Bills have a solid contributor who will definitely fit the pound the rock ethos.
Chase Edmonds, RB - Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1 year, $1.1 Million) We never got to see what Chase could do in Denver and maybe that’s a good thing if his seasons with Miami are anything to go by. I’m sure he’ll do well in Tampa’s pass heavy offence as a backup catching back.
Eric Tomlinson, TE - Free Agent Most of you have probably never heard of Eric Tomlinson and there's a good reason for that. He’s also still without a team after signing with the Texans for 15 days back in March.
Darius Phillips, CB - Houston Texans (1 year, $1 Million) Darius got a few snaps on defence but spent most of his time on special teams, a rather average contributor by any metric but does have a fair amount of starting experience in the league.
Brett Rypien, QB - Los Angeles Rams (1 year, $1 Million) Broncos fans love this guy. He’s not good at football in a practical sense and he’s likely not going to help the Rams secure any wins but he’s a really smart dude and most likely a future coach. Not to mention its fun to say “Let ‘Em Ryp” if he does ever play.
Corliss Waitman, P - New England Patriots (1 year, $1 Million) There is no chance this man will be playing for the Patriots in 2023. Punting for Denver should be quite easy compared to most of the league but Waitman set out to prove us all wrong on that one. Easily the worst punter I’ve seen in Denver for a good few years.
Lamar Jackson, CB - Kansas City Chiefs (1 year, $1 Million) Lamar didn’t really get an opportunity to feature in Denver, I’m fairly sure he’ll be a camp body in KC as well so there’s not much to add on this one.
Although we let a lot of players leave, I think we managed to re-sign the most important of all the players with contracts expiring.
Alex Singleton, MLB (3 year, $18 Million) I’m telling you now, this man is elite. His season started a little slow but he came to town with 21-tackles (19 solo) against Divisional Rivals the LA Chargers. He did a similar thing in week 15 vs the Rams where he totalled another 20 tackles.
Overall I think Singleton is starting to peak and turn into a real force in this league.
Kareem Jackson, S (1 year, $1.3 Million) Kareem has far exceeded the expectations Broncos fans had for him when he joined from Houston in 2019. Initially as a corner and later taking over a strong safety Jackson has been brilliant, his heavy hitting style has made him a fan favourite and I’m pleased to see him back yet again.
Cameron Fleming, T (1 year, $2.3 Million) Fleming was a decent enough back up for the team in 2022 that unfortunately ended up starting more than everyone would have wanted. He’s a great depth addition to bring back, let's hope it remains a depth option though.
With so many departures comes a long list of new faces for the Broncos. 13 new players joined in free agency and whilst some are better than others there’s certainly been a clear direction that Sean Payton is heading in. big men, very big men.
Mike McGlinchey, RT - (5 year, $87.5 Million) I’ve been a big McGlinchey fan since the days of his nasty Notre Dame O-Line, where he lined up alongside Quenton Nelson. Mike’s play for the 49ers whilst good has had some rather concerning points with his lack of success vs speed rushers being the overwhelmingly obvious. We’re reaching a point where McGlinchey is living off of his college performances much like Jadeveon Clowney is still renowned for “the hit”. I do believe mcGlinchey will look like a hall of famer in comparison to every Broncos Right Tackle of the past 10 years and I do believe he’ll be successful in what the Broncos want to do which is run the ball down your throat. Denver has stability at both tackle positions and that’s only going to be a positive.
Ben Powers, G - (4 year, $52 Million) The quickest path to the quarterback is the straightest. It’s important Wilson is protected from the interior of his pocket and Ben certainly has powers in that department. I don’t think it would be an understatement to call Ben Powers elite in pass pro and whilst his run blocking seems to be improving it's not fantastic. Nonetheless I think this is very similar to the McGlinchey situation where we’ve slightly overpaid but the team will have a massive upgrade at Guard.
Zach Allen, DE - (3 year, $45.75 Million) I like Allen but the concern for me here is this past year was a career year for him, and with such a small sample size of good but not elite play I struggle with the idea that he will repeat his 2022 success in 2023. His contract doesn’t appear to be overly friendly either with $19 Million in 2024 cap scheduled in the books along with half of his 2025 salary guaranteed as well.
I don’t think he’ll be a bad signing, his familiarity with DC and former Broncos HC Vance Joseph will be a good thing but for the 3rd signing in a row, and perhaps the most egregious the Broncos have overpaid for their man.
Jarrett Stidham, QB (2 year, $10 Million) I like this move a lot, Stidham is a high end back up who can provide enough of a threat to Russ that he can win games in Denver if called upon. In reality he’s a backup but a back up you can certainly have confidence in.
Chris Manhertz, TE (2 year, $6 Million) I liked the Stidham signing, I love the Manhertz signing. He’s not flashy and he isn’t going to show up anywhere with big stats, however Manhertz has consistently been an elite blocking tight end for years and its players like him that make the difference on short yardage situations.
Samaje Perine, RB (2 year, $7.5 Million) This seems to be another Sean Payton inspired move. Initially Perine was never thought of as a back who could catch out of the backfield but his year spent with Cool guy Joe Burrow in Cincinnati has shown he’s more than capable of being that guy. Working in a committee alongside Javonte Williams should bring success to this lifeless Denver offense in 2023.
Michael Burton, FB (1 year, $1.3 Million) Burton has played for Sean Payton before and that will be incredibly useful for obvious reasons. Burton has been a blocking fullback for most of his career but has shown the ability to run and catch when called upon. I like this move and its a clear upgrade on Beck.
Tremon Smith, CB/Returner (2 year, $5 Million) If Smith is only going to be a returner then I think Denver have once again overpaid for a player coming off a bad year in a position declining in value. I do think Smith can rebound and have the type of year he’s been having since 2018. Not to mention there isn’t a chance Smith can be anywhere near as bad as Montrell Washington had been in 2022.
Riley Dixon, P (2 year, $3.5 Million) Riley was drafted by Denver in 2016 before being traded to the Giants a few years down the line. Despite the advantageous altitude in Denver, Dixon wasn’t a very good punter for the team in his 2 seasons. However, in a move that shows how bad this team really has been Dixon will still be a big improvement over Corliss Waitman and thus this needs to be considered an upgrade.
Marquez Callaway, WR (1 year, $1.1 Million) Former Sean Payton disciple Callaway reuniting in Denver is a good thing from my perspective. During Payton’s last season in New Orleans Callaway managed to put up 6 touchdowns in 46 receptions. The Broncos have a busy WR room but its a room that is yet to be healthy together so this move makes sense from all angles.
Kyle Fuller, C (1 year, $1.1 Million) I don’t expect Fuller to see the field unless there’s another injury disaster as he’s arguably 3rd on the depth chart. I’m glad the team have started to add some much needed depth but there’s also a solid chance that Fuller doesn’t Fill out the roster in 2023.
Following free agency most Broncos fans felt the team needed some further reinforcements but with so few picks available to start the 2023 NFL Draft many were left wondering what kind of magic George Paton could cook up to fill the team with contributing players.
#63: Marvin Mims, WR (Oklahoma) I don’t think anybody foresaw the Broncos trading up in the 2nd round to take a wide receiver. And whilst it's not a huge need, especially with the depth addition of Marquez Callaway in free agency, I do think it's a very good pick.
K.J. Hamler has failed to stay fit and this all but spells the end for his time in Denver in my opinion. It’s no wonder the Broncos front office couldn’t resist the opportunity to take a player with 4.38 speed and a 2-year college average of 20 yards per reception. I can see his ability to line up anywhere coming in very handy in a high motion Denver offense.
What I find spectacular about Mims is his ability to genuinely do everything. He can take the top off a defense, take screens in space for first downs, and generally play well in the short, medium and long game. There'll be some minor concerns over a Oklahoma running limited route trees but given Payton’s creativity and the likelihood of being moved around to capitalize on speed mismatches I don’t really feel those concerns are overly warranted.
#67: Drew Sanders, LB (Arkansas) I think Sanders has a real shot of being the best player selected in the 2023 NFL Draft when we look back in a few years time. He was a 5-star recruit at Alabama before transferring to Arkansas in 2022. Nick Saban has since said last summer that Sanders “probably would have started” for Alabama in one of the deepest pass rushing units in college. Ultimately he starred for the Razorbacks where his athletic prowess, versatility and toughness helped him notch up 9.5 Sacks (2nd in SEC) and 103 tackles.
His ability to play inside and outside will delight Vance Joseph who will end up using him very heavily in blitz packages from both the edge and middle linebacker positions. Ultimately we’re relying on a player's superior athletic abilities to give him the edge until he learns the nuances of NFL football.
His tackle consistency vs the run needs heavy improvement if he wants to be a 3-down player for Denver at either the edge or inside linebacker positions. Part of his problem so far has been a tendency to bite on fakes and misdirections and although his athleticism has managed to shine through at the College level it won’t be as successful at the NFL level.
#83: Riley Moss, CB (Iowa) Moss, in theory, has everything you would look for in an NFL corner with the exception of real top end speed. He’s tall and rangey with good tackling instincts but there are some shortcomings which will likely affect his NFL future as a cornerback. Moss typically leaves a bit too much cushion in zone coverage which can lead to explosive receivers leaving him in the dust. In man coverage he’ll often leave the underneath to compensate for his lack of top end speed; his aforementioned tackling skills at least thrive here.
His run support is likely going to make him a real runner for the slot corner position in zone packages but his shortcomings may also lead to Vance Joseph wanting to move him to safety eventually. The biggest advantage he has going forward is his versatility otherwise he may end up as a special teams contributor only.
#183: JL Skinner, S (Boise State) Drafted predominantly for his size, Skinner stands at 6’4, hits hard and plays to his strengths. Against the run Skinner performs admirably and has fantastic angles when pursuing the runner. In coverage he’s equally as solid with the ball skills to force interceptions and pass breakups.
I can only see Skinner on a trajectory to the top and I'm excited to see him in Denver. Ultimately it will be his responsibility to cover Travis Kelce, Michael Mayer and Gerald Everett twice a year.
#257: Alex Forsyth, C (Oregon) I think the Broncos wanted to draft a center, I don’t believe that man was supposed to be Alex Forsyth. Whilst he’s good value for the 7th round, I imagine they would have rather had the opportunity to take John Michael Schmitz or Joe Tippmann. I’m not sure how this pick is going to work out. On one hand I can see him being part of the same dominant force that allowed his backs ro average 5 yards per play in Oregon but on the other hand he’s a penalty machine much like Garrett Bolles was to start his career.
Overall I think the Broncos did the best they could with the selections they had. It would have been nice to see a tackle for the first time in 6 years or another running back to support Javonte and Samaje.
My concerns with the class is that although they're talented they weren't all the biggest needs this off season.
I can see all of them with the exception of Forsyth becoming a contributing level talent with Denver and over the course of their rookie contracts.
Ultimately this is how I see the roster breaking down:
QB: Russell Wilson, Jarett Stidham, Ben DiNucci HB: Javonte Williams, Samaje Perine, Tony Jones jr. FB: Michael Burton WR: Jerry Jeudy, Tim Patrick, Courtland Sutton, Marvin Mims jr, Marquez Callaway TE: Greg Dulcich, Adam Trautman, Albert Okwuegbunam, Chris Manhertz OT: Garett Bolles, Mike McGlinchey, Cam Fleming, Isaiah Prince, Quinn Bailey IOL: Ben Powers, Quin Meinerz, Lloyd Cushenberry, Alex Forsyth, Luke Wattenberg, Kyle Fuller. DL: Zach Allen, Jonathan Harris, Eyioma Uwazurike, Jonathan Cooper, D.J. Jones, Mike Purcell LOLB: Randy Gregory, Baron Browning MLB: Alex Singleton, Josey Jewell, Drew Sanders, Justin Strnad, Jonas Griffith ROLB: Nik Bonnito, Aaron Patrick CB: Pat Surtain II, Damarri Mathis, Riley Moss, K’Waun Williams, Tremon Smith FS: Justin Simmons, Jamar Johnson, Caden Sterns SS: JL Skinner, Kareem Jackson
K: TBD P: Riley Dixon R: Tremon Smith LS: Mitchell Fraboni
There’s probably one big name missing here and that’s K.J. Hamler, who I think will get cut or traded before week 1.
Moving forward into 2023 and the 2024 off season there are a few positions Denver still need to worry about. There’s huge question marks over the ability of Russell Wilson and whether he still has the ability to play at the highest level.
We’ve also got question marks at running back with Javonte Williams coming off a huge injury. Our WR room has a lot of unknowns after Courtland Suttons failure to rediscover his form after his ACL injury whilst teammate Tim Patrick is also recovering from the same injury suffered this past season.
The offensive line still needs addressing as Lloyd Cushenberry often gets bullied in the trenches and Garrett Bolles may revert under another new offensive line coach, so far Mike Munchak is the only man to get a respectable tune from the former first round pick.
Moving on to defense and there’s less issues but still big weaknesses. I’d like to see us invest more in the defensive line and outside linebacker positions with Cooper, Bonnito, Browning and Gregory all relatively unknown in a Broncos uniform.
Ultimately if I had to narrow it down the focus going forward needs to be on center, defensive end and quarterback if things will russ doesn’t improve.
Ultimately there was a lot to like about the Broncos off season changes and everything seems to be pointing towards a more successful, creative team in 2023. We look to have added steel where it mattered across the offensive line and signing Sean Payton could prove to be the biggest acquisition of the all.
Ironically, this series is called defending the draft and that’s what I’ve struggled to do here the most. I like the class, I think there’s some high impact players there for sure, but I’ve come away wishing we’d filled some other key areas a little bit better. Ultimately you can’t always have the board fall as you want it and it’s a huge improvement from the classes John Elway managed to put together.
Thank you for reading my Denver Broncos draft/off season review. I filled in as a last minute replacement so hopefully this manages to hit the right spot for everyone.

LET’S RIDE.

This is merely a snapshot of how quickly the campaign bubble bursts. Pay special attention to the utterly forgettable, life-and-livelihood altering things your government gets away with right after they've won an election. More to come, and it won't be pretty. This is a fact of life in democracy - It's called the electoral cycle, and it means the really bad stuff is going to be happening sooner than later. The really sneaky, underhanded, greedy, unethical stuff always happens as early in the term as the government can get away with. This is by no means an exhaustive list, and do read the comments on some of the more storied posts - the dis-service is astounding!
https://www.reddit.com/alberta/comments/13xvn7o/suncor_to_slash_1500_jobs_amid_costcutting_plan/ Trickling down...to the bottom of the 1%'s pockets. Again. Will they blame ANDP now?
https://www.reddit.com/alberta/comments/13xxd4folks_on_alberts_worksincome_support_did/ Just the minute a lot (more) of our high-paying jobs go 'poof', right?
https://www.reddit.com/alberta/comments/13xgwo6/missing_aish_payment/ Social program simply goes MIA? Really? When will this be de-re-de-indexed I wonder?
https://www.reddit.com/alberta/comments/13xwp30/permanent_closure_of_the_sun_medical_clinic_in/ Yup, that WAS a rural AB health clinic. Hope they still have a vet around who cares.
https://www.reddit.com/alberta/comments/13xyv03/ottawa_backs_3billion_of_debt_for_trans_mountain/ Is this something our new fearless leader intends to 'fight back' about?
https://www.reddit.com/alberta/comments/13xclkg/when_danielle_smith_says_she_wants_a_reset_with/ LOL, reset WHAT? Another free (3) $billion?... anyone for more duct-tape?
https://www.reddit.com/alberta/comments/13rtk52/in_albertas_rocky_mountains_an_australianowned/ ...and in case you thought they were wasting any time breaking their fake promises.
I just thought this narrowly-framed snapshot might be worth posting as a brief testament to what happens when the campaign bubble bursts in Alberta and grift-central is once again open for business. Oh, there's plenty more - I just thought it might take a little more time, y'know, at least for the optics of any substantial appreciation of Alberta's hot-off-the-griddle nothing-burger of a choice in government. Nope, they didn't even let the mystery meat rest and we're being served!
And no, not fire-grilled. If certain bad actors were properly fired (unelected) - they wouldn't be re-invited/appointed/annointed in kool-aid to participate in policymaking on our dime as Fearless Leader has dictated. But that's a WHOLE other many, many posts you've already read.
ALSO - If you have a new source on the absolute nothing done to collect small municipalities' O&G-owed property taxes besides crickets, please comment. Or if you've heard more than crickets about well-site clean up ever happening, and on whose dime - Rural Alberta might eventually be interested.
Post your favourites and I might come up with a new Alberta 2023-and-beyond Bingo Card! There are just SO many stupid chances to win stupid prizes here in good ol'Berta, I may not resist!
​
And for the record, I'm not angry with our new government. I'm just (already) very disappointed.

Company Name	Title	City
United States Secret Service	Criminal Investigator	Dayton
The Meadows of Delphos	RN - Registered Nurse	Delphos
The Meadows of Delphos	RN - Registered Nurse - Weekend Only	Delphos
Cypress Pointe Health Campus	RN-Registered Nurse	Englewood
Valley View Healthcare Center	RN - Registered Nurse	Fremont
Norwich Springs Health Campus	RN- Registered Nurse	Hilliard
Empowerme Wellness	Physical Therapist (PT) *$3,000 Sign On Bonus	Loveland
Smiths Mill Health Campus	RN- Registered Nurse -Weekend Only	New Albany
Southern Health Partners	Correctional Nurse	Summit County Jail-
Epic Specialty Staffing (formerly known as Mission Search)	Radiation Therapist Troy OH	Troy
RTI International	Field Interviewer - NSFG	Akron
Astellas	Clinical Sales Professional, Community Specialties - Akron, OH	Akron
Professional Dynamics	Plant Maintenance Engineer	Alliance
RTI International	Experienced Electronic Field Mapping Lister - NSDUH	Athens
Pinstripes, Inc.	Front of House Manager	Beachwood
Robin Industries, Inc.	Tooling Engineer	Berlin
UniFirst	Route Service Representative - UniFirst	Blacklick
Zimmer Biomet	Business Intelligence Senior Analyst (721724)	Broadview Heights
AEG Vision	Patient Care Coordinator	Bryan
Michigan Milk Producers Assoc	Maintenance	Canton
Ohio Peterbilt	Truck Technician Canton Peterbilt $5,000.00 Signing Bonus	Canton
Best Point Education & Behavioral Health	YMCA Aide	Cincinnati
Core Crew LLC	Powder Coater	Cincinnati
Innova Solutions	Customer Service Representative	Cincinnati
Core Crew LLC	Press Break Operator	Cincinnati

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in oh. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

So, we already discussed what DC was doing to match the tenor of the early years of the War on Terror: A grim, smarter-than-it-thinks miniseries full of gratuitous rape that was meant to take the shine off the Silver Age by showing the darker side of its greatest heroes. Marvel, on the other hand, was trying to find a way to capture the zeitgeist of a post-9/11 era of existential threats, constant government surveillance, and the idea that if you weren’t with America, you were against it. A Captain America storyline saw Cap wrestle with the very concept of Guantanamo Bay; like any story arc that involves Cap doubting whether America lives up to its ideals, this made certain conservatives pissy, to the point that bad movie cataloguer Michael Medved wrote an entire article asking if Cap was a traitor. Avengers Disassembled briefly saw the Avengers face down their demons, as the Scarlet Witch goes crazy (again) and starts killing team members, her reality manipulations causing fault lines to form among Marvel’s greatest superteam. But there hadn’t yet been a storyline that would tie the entire Marvel Universe together with the burning question, “Which side are you on?”
Yeah, it’s got nothing to do with the Sokovia Accords. We’d be a lot better off if it did.
Part 1: Mark Millar’s March to the C-Word
Content Warning: Sexual assault. None of this is germane to the topic of the drama, so feel free to skip ahead to Part 1.5 if you don’t want to deal with this. Tl;dr: Mark Millar, the writer of the event, has a near pathological need to be a 3edgy5u contrarian.
Every comics crossover is ultimately a chance for one creative in the stable to shine or falter. The editors pick a writer who has turned out dependable work and give them a chance to try to alter the status quo but good. And for Civil War, Marvel’s EiC Joe Quesada decided the best person to lead the charge was Ultimates writer Mark Millar.
But who is Millar? Well, we could say “edgelord” and leave it at that, but we’re trying to dig deeper. Millar came up in comics alongside fellow Scot Grant Morrison, long before Morrison said the only time they want to bump into Millar on the streets of Glasgow is while going at 100 miles per hour. This antipathy is alleged to have stemmed from Millar copping several ideas from Morrison that went into Superman: Red Son. But after getting a start on Superman Adventures and as a cowriter on parts of Morrison’s JLA run, Millar soon branched out to WildStorm, where he took over The Authority from departing creatowritesex pest Warren Ellis.
The reason I bring up Red Son (for those non-geeks, an alternative universe comic premised on “What if Superman’s rocket had landed in Soviet Russia?”) is to frame a constant refrain about Mark Millar. He has good high-concept ideas… which often get trammeled up in an almost Pavlovian urge to shock, disturb, and/or titillate the reader. For instance, in The Authority, Ellis had introduced Apollo and Midnighter, two close companions who just happened to share the rough power sets and demeanors of Superman and Batman, with a few tweaks. Then he revealed they were boyfriends, which was a pretty bold move for a late Nineties comic book full of widescreen action and lovingly-rendered eviscerations.
In Millar’s first arc on the title, centered on a villainous Jack Kirby clone sending out a team of baddies who totally aren’t the Avengers, Apollo is subdued and is strongly implied to have been raped by someone who’s not Captain America. Apollo gets revenge by destroying EvilCap’s spinal column with his laser vision, then leaving him to the tender mercies of Midnighter, who is strongly implied to have sodomized him with a jackhammer.
In case you can’t tell, Millar loved him some rape. And it kept showing up in his creator-owned titles as well, all of which were basically written as Hollywood pitch docs. Wanted asks the question, “What if the supervillains won and secretly ruled the world from behind the scenes?” Well, an Eminem clone would take the opportunity to step into his dead villainous dad’s shoes and commit a lot of rape (yeah, there’s a reason the movie version replaced this with basically the Euthanatos from Mage: the Ascension getting orders from a magic loom). Chosen asks the question, “What if Jesus were born today?” Well, in a blatantly obvious twist, it turns out he’s actually the Antichrist, and part of his journey into realizing his evil nature involves being raped by all the demons of Hell.
It’s not that Millar can’t write innocent or restrained; he got started on the Superman: the Animated Series comic spin-off, and some of his titles such as Huck and Starlight have been praised for being relatively wholesome (keep in mind Huck is basically “What if Superman was Forrest Gump?” when I say “relatively”). And, as mentioned above, his works are made for high-concept log lines. You might recognize some of his various pitch docs: Kick-Ass, The Secret Service (source for the Kingsman movies), and, as mentioned above, Wanted. It’s just there’s this unctuous contrarian streak to a lot of his titles, a tendency to focus on venality, grotesquerie, and sodomy, with an air of pop culture edge. This also leaked into his image outside of his writing, with comments like “Games are for pedos” and ventures like the creator-owned comics periodical CLiNT (yes, the kerning is intentional). This streak continues to this day, as The Magic Order, a title that emerged from his deal with Netflix, features a magical escapologist who, she feels it very important to tell the reader in a direct monologue, escaped her own abortion. Bottom line, Millar has a sense of vision, but it’s betrayed at times by this reflexive desire to prove he’s smarter than the reader, to rub your face in the contradictions and make you a party to the artifice of it all. Usually with a dash of rape.
But at Marvel, Millar was riding the lightning of the Ultimate Universe. His Ultimates title was drawing on the wide-screen action image of JLA and The Authority, creating the cinematic language that would come to define the MCU. The choice to fantasy cast Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury is why we have Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. He also painted the Hulk as a cannibalistic monster, cemented Hank Pym’s reputation as a wifebeater, and gave us Captain America yelling “Surrender? Do you think this A on my head stands for France?”, so let’s just keep that in perspective.
But the Ultimate Universe was its own pocket universe. Millar was being tapped to write a story for Earth-616, the main Marvel Universe. And he had a vision:

“I opted instead for making the superhero dilemma something a little different. People thought they were dangerous, but they did not want a ban. What they wanted was superheroes paid by the federal government like cops and open to the same kind of scrutiny. It was the perfect solution and nobody, as far as I'm aware, has done this before.”

Yeah. About that.
Part 1.5: What Has Come Before
Ultimately, the crux of Civil War is something that has been explored lightly in the past at Marvel: The idea that, instead of being unlicensed vigilantes who decide the best solution of societal issues is to beat up assholes in spandex, superheroes become licensed government officers that register their true identities with Uncle Sam and solve societal issues by beating up assholes in spandex. In Marvel’s history, it hasn’t gone well. The reality of government liaisons to superhero bodies has ranged from Valerie Cooper, who worked with government mutant team X-Factor but still found herself backing the genocidal Sentinel program as a big “Yeah, but what if…?”, to Henry Peter Gyrich, an inflamed obstructionist asshole who had to be held back from flipping a switch that would depower every superhuman individual on Earth. The idea of heroes themselves bristling against a government they disagreed with had a long history, as there was a period where Steve Rogers quit being Captain America, and the government had to find a replacement while he rode around on a motorcycle in a surprisingly slutty costume. But the idea of registering with the government has usually ended up on the “No” side due to one big cohort at Marvel: Mutants.
Ever since the days of Chris Claremont, a general conceit of the Marvel Universe is that mutants are a stand-in for your minority group of choice. Hated and feared, born different and feeling alienated, painted as an existential menace and threat to the status quo. Of course, it’s long been pointed out that the metaphor breaks down on the general grounds that, say, gays can’t shoot laser beams out of their eyes. I have my thoughts on that which I might share in the comments if someone pokes me hard enough, but it’s been general editorial consensus that people with powers, especially those of persecuted minorities, being compelled to share their true names, addresses, and natures with the federal government is a “That train’s never late!” move. Not only that, it’s a slippery slope. The classic X-Men story “Days of Future Past” is entirely premised on the idea that a government program of genocidal robots built to wipe out mutants will eventually run out of mutants… and then start turning on humans who could give birth to mutants, and then it’s Skynet all over again.
Another running meme in the Marvel Universe is that the X-Men usually exist in a Schrodinger’s cat situation with the rest of the superhero universe, both coexisting and in their own worlds. Yes, mutants have served on the Avengers, and yes, Thor intervened when the Morlocks were nearly wiped out in the sewers under New York. But Captain America, for all his proud statements of living up to America’s ideals, has a habit of missing the plot whenever the US government (or Canada, seat of all the Marvel Universe’s governmental evils - no, really) decides it’s Genocide O’Clock. And when the mutant nation of Genosha was completely wiped out by said murder robots, the Avengers seemed to be all “New phone who dis?” But when the two do intersect, there’s usually support for the mutants. One story in Fantastic Four had Reed Richards - Mr. Fantastic, stretchy man, greatest genius in the Marvel Universe, guy who’s probably being cucked by a fish-man - get tapped by the US government to make a device that detects mutants and other people with powers. He does… and then uses it to show why the government probably doesn’t want it, as it pings several members of Congress as having just enough genetic variation to qualify as “mutants,” even if they don’t have powers.
All in all, while the argument has some merit, for years, Marvel has come down on the position that asking people with powers to reveal their identities to the federal government is something that could go really bad if somebody with a hate-on for superheroes ends up in power. Something that would never happen oh yeah it totally did. But before it all went to Hell, Civil War at least gave an opportunity to reexamine the concept and see if it had merit.
It might have. But not with this argument.
Part 1.75: What Else Has Happened Before?
And now, some things that will ultimately give context for what happens next:

• In the pages of Thor, all of Asgard eventually runs headlong into Ragnarok. Thor and the rest of the Asgardians give their lives to save the earth, taking Thor off the board… for now.
• As mentioned above, the Avengers experience a critical fault due to Wanda going batshit (a common lament). With Avengers Mansion destroyed and the team at odds, it is eventually reunited under Tony Stark, who put the Avengers up in a tower he built.
• Nick Fury has vanished due to doing some skullduggery in the pages of the miniseries Secret War (no, not Secret Wars, this is different). Acting head of SHIELD, the all-purpose super spy squad of Marvel, is Maria Hill, who can’t seem to draw her pistol without shooting herself in the foot.
• Due to Wanda continuing to go batshit, the House of M crossover event ends with her casting a spell: “No more mutants.” While the damage is staunched, Earth-616’s population of mutants (which was recently established to be somewhere around 16 million) is reduced to 200, the rest being depowered or dying as a result of being depowered. This was because, as Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada said, the idea of mutants being everywhere made them “boring.” The fact that mutants were starting to be written less as a minority stand-in and more as an actual minority group with fashion, culture, music, and neighborhoods might have had something to do with that. From the wake of this event emerges Sally Floyd, a journalist whose own mutant daughter died before the mass depowering due to having a power that was more curse than blessing. The series Generation M follows her as the viewpoint character as she investigates the stories of former mutants.

Part 2: Connecticut Can’t Catch a Break
The big kick-off for Civil War involves the New Warriors, a team of teen heroes who have, as of a recently canceled series, been trying to make it big as reality TV stars. They get in a fight with a bunch of villains in the small town of Stamford, CT, when exploding villain Nitro goes positively nuclear, resulting in a blast much bigger than any he’s generated. [1] Not only does this mostly wipe out the New Warriors (save for kinetic energy-absorbing goofball Speedball), but it also happens to hit a nearby school. In the end, 612 people are dead, many of them children, and the nation wants answers.
With public opinion turning against the New Warriors, former member Hindsight starts leaking secret identities to get the heat off his back. This only makes things worse. Secret identities have only recently stopped being a thing for some heroes: Captain America only came out a few years ago, it was only recently that Tony Stark stopped pretending Iron Man was his bodyguard, and Daredevil was almost outed in the pages of his book. But something needs to be done, so Tony helps work with Congress to pass the Super Human Registration Act, which requires that all people with powers or working as vigilantes register their identities with the government to receive training and oversight. If you don’t? Believe it or not, jail, right away.
Fault lines quickly develop in the superhero community. While Tony is leading the “pro” side, alongside Reed Richards (yeah, we’ll get to that), Captain America, usually painted as the embodiment of the dream of America despite its compromised history and many sins, is against it. He’s lived through Richard Nixon being a secret fascist and shooting himself in the head after being fingered as mastermind of a vast criminal conspiracy (yes, that happened ); he knows how badly this could go in the wrong hands. Needless to say, Maria Hill and SHIELD hear his concerns, understand his problems with it, and are willing to iron out the kinks through reasoned debate.
Just kidding. Before the law has even been signed, Maria sics SHIELD’s elite Cape-Killers squad on Cap with the intent of getting him behind bars. Cap swiftly goes underground and starts his own group of anti-registration superheroes.
The fight continues for the next few issues. Spider-Man, caught in the middle, reveals himself to be Peter Parker at a press conference, declaring his support for the SHRA. Doctor Strange is so powerful that he tells the government to fuck off, and somehow, Maria Hill doesn’t decide to go charging up his asshole. Ben Grimm, the ever-loving blue-eyed Thing, is so sick of all the conflict he goes to France. But things are still at a stalemate, and while SHIELD may be acting like a bunch of merry assholes, it seems like there’s a debate to be had that could still be resolved reasonably… except for one key factor.
Part 3: I Fought the Law, and the Law… Huh?
No one ever really defined what the Super Human Registration Act, the legislation that tore the Marvel Universe’s superhero community asunder, did. Every book that had an issue that touched on the event seemed to have a different understanding of its principles, as well as just how fascist it might be in the long run. In the pages of She-Hulk, attorney Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk argues the law is a net good, as it gives heroes the backing and resources they need to not have to go it alone, while also having some measure of government oversight. In the pages of Civil War Frontline (oh, and we’ll get back to Civil War Frontline, don’t you worry), Wonder Man is told by the government that he needs to do a job for them, and if he refuses, well, one thousand years dungeon.
Which then leads into the other issue behind the SHRA. Namely, that everyone in favor was either starting to swing towards fascism or embracing bootlicking as a lifestyle, not a kink. In the pages of Amazing Spider-Man, Peter asks Reed Richards, who has always bucked authority and once stopped the US government from doing something just like this with mutants, why he’s pro-registration. Reed then reveals that an uncle who has never been mentioned before was called before HUAC; he refused to name names, his career was ruined, and he killed himself. From this, Reed - the man who stole a rocketship because the government said “no” to his planned space voyage - has learned that the government is always right, especially when they could step on your neck (this was received so badly that a later comic revealed he’d actually borrowed the concept of psychohistory from Asimov’s Foundation, he’d made it work somehow, and his calculations showed that this was the only way to avoid a greater disaster). This comic also revealed that people who were in violation of the SHRA were sent to a literal extradimensional Gitmo, a prison in the Negative Zone that later comics would reveal was overseen by… Captain Marvel. No, not that one. No, not that one. The Kree superhero Captain Mar-Vell, who had famously died of cancer decades before. How did he come back from the dead? Fuck if we know.
This “the law says what you want it to say” approach spread across various books and miniseries meant to cross over into the event. In the pages of a crossover mini between the Runaways and the Young Avengers, this meant SHIELD Cape-Killer squads were using lethal force against teenagers. The second-to-last issue of the mini ends with several members of both teams in extradimensional Gitmo, about to be dissected by a guy who’s horny for torture. The fact that all the captive heroes were the queer members of both teams? Total coincidence. Honestly.
So, it quickly becomes clear that the editorial control on this event is less than cohesive. There are different ideas all over as to what the SHRA does, and some of those ideas are tacking pretty fashy. But if the law is being painted as that bad, then clearly, there must be some greater statement of freedom vs. security. Maybe Millar’s really painting a subversive picture of what happens when you trade liberty for control, right?
Part 4: Why Do You Hate the Good Thing?
After the publication of Civil War #3, Millar would say in an interview he was actually pro-registration. I can’t find that interview, but here’s a similar sentiment shared years later:

“Weirdly, some of the other writers would often make Tony the bad guy, which I thought was a strange choice because I was actually on Tony’s side... In the real world, if somebody had superpowers, I’d like them to be registered in the same way that somebody who has a gun has to carry a license. But a gun can kill several people while a superhero can kill several thousands of people, so on a pragmatic level I’m 100% on Tony’s side. Maybe on a romantic level, Cap’s position makes sense but I don’t think anybody in the real world would really want that."”

And again, here’s the thing: He’s not entirely wrong. As said above, the idea of civil liberties for all and “free to me you and me” falls down a little when one of your neighbors can blow up a city block by thinking real hard. But Millar is fighting against years of ideological inertia in the Marvel Universe, as well as painting Captain America, the guy who has always embodied the ideal of a righteous, just America, as in the wrong. He needs to make one hell of an argument.
So here’s what happens in the pages of Civil War #3 to sell the audience on the SHRA:

• Thor comes back from the dead… and he’s on Tony’s side! Well, not really. Tony and Reed both realized that having one of the most beloved gods of the Marvel Universe come out on their side would be a big win… if only he wasn’t dead. So, they cloned him. Or rather, they T-800’d him, putting cloned divine flesh on a robot skeleton. But I’m sure he’s perfectly under control, and - oh, he just killed Goliath. In the next issue, one of Marvel’s black male heroes, frozen at the size of a small townhouse in death, will be buried in a gigantic ditch, wrapped in a tarp and chains. You’d think Hank Pym could grow a large enough coffin, at least.
• With Cap and the anti-registration side escaping once again, Tony decides he needs a dedicated team that can track down fugitive superhumans. To do so, he creates a new version of the Thunderbolts, a concept long associated with “villains acting like heroes.” And who does he put on this team? Venom, the Spider-Man villain who eats people’s brains; Bullseye, the Daredevil villain who will kill anyone for the lulz; and Norman Osborn, a.k.a. The Green Goblin, who famously murdered Spider-Man’s girlfriend Gwen Stacy.

Again. Tony’s in the right. The SHRA is good.
Part 5: Yadda, Yadda, Yadda
The next few issues of Civil War might best be described as “They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight.” The anti-registration side picks up The Punisher, Marvel’s most avowed murderer of criminals - and Cap is somewhat shocked but not entirely surprised when two minor villains join the anti-registration side and Frank promptly kills them on sight. Spider-Man starts realizing things are weird on the pro-reg side and defects, after he has set his entire life on fire. The X-Men have continued to stay out of this whole mess. In the lead-up, Emma Frost called Tony out on the Avengers’ complete absence when Genosha got nuked. Later, Carol Danvers (then Ms. Marvel, now Captain Marvel) will show up at the Xavier School to pitch the SHRA just after a massive terrorist attack kills dozens of students. Emma responds by telepathically dogwalking her.
By the final issue of the miniseries, the SHRA has expanded out into the Fifty States Initiative, wherein each state gets its own superteam. There’s a big final battle, Hercules kills Robo-Thor, and Cap nearly takes out Tony, only to be stopped by… the heroes of 9/11. No shit, Captain America is subdued by cops, firefighters, and paramedics. And when that happens, Cap finally takes a look around, realizes their big ideological street brawl has resulted in collateral damage, and surrenders. The SHRA wins, though Tony feels a little bad about it. Cap is ready to stand trial and to argue that, while he may have done something wrong, he did it for the right reasons.
Once again: Yeah. About that.
Part 6: MySpace Tom Didn’t Die For This
Running alongside Civil War is Civil War Frontline, a street-level book written by Paul Jenkins that managed to capture this world-breaking conflict through the eyes of people on the street. Though it has side stories, its main leads are Ben Urich, Peter Parker’s journalist buddy at The Daily Bugle, and the aforementioned Sally Floyd. Throughout the series, they start to realize there’s a story underneath the SHRA, as if somebody is playing the angles.
Before we talk about that conclusion, let’s talk about a side story. Remember how we said part of the comics community saw Identity Crisis as a driven effort to make things less “wacky” and intentionally darken the DCU? Well, that same tonal approach led to one of the more laughable moments of a pretty laughable arc. See, despite the fact that, as established, it was Nitro who blew up Stamford, it’s Speedball, the only survivor of the New Warriors, that views himself as responsible and is held up as a scapegoat by the general public. In addition, the blast screwed up his powers. Now, he doesn’t absorb and reflect kinetic energy; rather, he generates energy based on pain. So, he builds himself a new, extreme outfit lined with 612 spikes, one for each person who died in Stamford. This will drive his crusade to make things right - not as Speedball… but as Penance.
It was so laughably DeviantArt “OC do not steal” that no one could take it seriously. Look what you did, you took a perfectly good goofball and gave him an emo streak. The turn is swiftly mocked in other Marvel books, and it’s eventually revealed that Speedball still had his original powerset and always intended to put Nitro in the Goofy Suit of Dark Inner Torment as punishment for his crimes. But this turn gives you a sense of the tone and heft Jenkins was bringing to the proceedings.
Anyway, back to the main plot. Ben and Sally follow the thread as Namor, as he is wont to do, declares war on the surface world after an Atlantean diplomat is shot. But it turns out the assassination was arranged by Norman Osborn, who decided it was better to beg forgiveness than ask permission and manipulated Atlantis into war so that Tony could have another piece of evidence for getting superhumans on a leash. And the two journalists deduce that, on some level, Tony had to know this would be an inevitable outcome of giving state backing to an unhinged mogul who dresses like a Power Rangers villain. Weighing what to do with this information, Ben and Sally, who are kind of sick of the collateral damage by this point, sit on it while they go in for an interview with Captain America, now in custody and willing to tell his side of the story.
And then. And then. The monologue. If you want a lesson in how to assassinate a character in 30 seconds or less, this monologue is a great example. Sally Floyd calls Captain America out as completely divorced from American values. Now, again, Captain America has long served as the beating liberal heart of the Marvel Universe. He has always represented an America that reckons with its legacy of things like internment camps, Manifest Destiny, and Jim Crow, in order to transcend these scars and embody the promise offered by Emma Lazarus’s New Colossus, carved on the side of the Statue of Liberty. Why is he out of touch with Americans at the dawn of the 21st century?
Well, he’s never heard of MySpace. [2] He doesn’t watch NASCAR. He doesn’t follow American Idol. There are pop culture moments that have aged like milk; this one had all the permanence of an ice cream cone in a blast furnace. But despite the inanity of Floyd’s argument - and trust me, there are fan edits dedicated to Cap pointing out how full of shit this argument is - it’s clear it represents something else. This is a post-9/11 world. Fuck civil liberties, we have a no-fly list and Gitmo, and if the American people really cared, they’d do something other than watch Simon Cowell read aspiring singers to filth. What does Captain America stand for in this moment of crisis?
Nothing. Because he just looks away from Sally Floyd. No doubt thinking, “Oh my God this bitch.” But to underline the argument in question, Sally storms out of the interview, Ben in tow. She still has that information on Norman Osborn’s false flag operation… and while she and Ben confront Tony on everything that went down, they decide the story should never see the light of day. Because they wouldn’t dare jeopardize the SHRA, because security is more important than the truth.
Oh. And then Cap gets shot. And dies. He totally dies (except he doesn’t but we’ll get to that). If ever there was an unintentional thesis statement for this event, running in the late stages of the Bush era, it would be this: “It’s better to trust that the powers that be who oversee the new America will keep you safe, even when they stage false flag operations, stick you in a gulag, and put their trust in monsters. All that civil liberty stuff was the old America. And the old America was hopeless. It wasn’t even on MySpace.”
Epilogue: Consequences Keep Consequencing
As you can tell from that last paragraph, a lot of the fan reception to Civil War likely had a lot to do with the period. This was the Bush era, a time where you were for America or against it. We were in the shadow of the Patriot Act, Gitmo, and widespread wiretaps, paranoid about what civil liberty we’d be asked to put on the pyre next in the name of Freedom. A story all about the warm, clenching fist of government control that tells you to ignore the collateral damage… well, it wasn’t great for the cultural moment.
The ideas of Civil War aren’t necessarily bad ones. I frame Cap as the liberal dream of what America could be, but there are good arguments to be made that America has never been that and Cap is just copium for liberals. His most recent title, Sentinel of Liberty, opens with Steve saying he is out of touch with the average American - not because he doesn’t watch NASCAR, but because he’s a WWII veteran who looks maybe 30 years old at most and whose best friends are all superheroes or spies. A narrative that has him on the wrong side of the issue and detonates his beliefs isn’t impossible, but it probably shouldn’t be one where people who got powers due to a fluke of birth or a radiation accident are told by the government, “Join with us or we’ll send supervillains after you.” Hell, as the Civil War movie proves, there is a way to tell a story about a superhero community torn in half by the idea of mandatory registration as government-controlled actors, and just why people would think that could be a bad idea (“Hey, remember when a good chunk of our intelligence apparatus turned out to be Nazi stay behinds?”).
But in the context of the era, and coupled with the execution, Civil War felt like a hard sell, and you could feel the thumb pressing on the scale every second while reading it. The moral center of the Marvel Universe is wrong, the winning side employs sadistic murderers and has an extradimensional Gitmo, and the writer is telling you that any sane individual would be on Team Green Goblin Employer.
So how did that all work out? Well…

• With Cap seemingly dead, shot by his brainwashed love interest Sharon Carter as part of a plot by the Red Skull, Bucky Barnes/the Winter Soldier becomes the new Cap. Only it turns out Steve wasn’t killed, but shot with a time bullet that Billy Pilgrims his ass. He eventually comes back.
• Thor comes back, finds out what Tony did, and beats his ass all the way across post-Katrina New Orleans (thank you to Powman_7 for the link).
• The Secret Invasion event happens next, which leads to Skrull infiltrators hitting everything (this is also the explanation for Captain Mar-Vell’s miraculous resurrection: He was a Skrull all along). With Tony caught with his pants down and Norman Osborn seeming to save the day, Norman - who has been losing his shit for some time - takes over the Initiative and forms his own fascist cabal, HAMMER. To try and stop Norman from learning everything on every hero ever, Tony goes on the run and actually starts deleting his own brain, which he then reassembles with a backup from before anyone even thought of the SHRA. The fact that getting rid of Tony’s “Oops I did a fascism” period came out alongside Iron Man hitting theaters is a coincidence, I’m sure.

As for Spider-Man? It might not shock you, but having a hero without the resources of Tony Stark out himself to the world carries liabilities. An assassin who tries to kill Peter instead hits Aunt May, and it appears she’ll die of her injuries. All this leads to One More Day… and if you thought the fans hated Civil War? Oh, BABY.
[1] This is eventually explored in the pages of Wolverine, of all books, as Wolverine decides maybe somebody should track down the person who actually killed hundreds of children. It’s revealed that Nitro was given power-boosting drugs by the CEO of Damage Control, Marvel’s designated “clean up after the super-battle” corporation, as a way of generating business. In a sign of how little this matters, Wolverine tells Maria Hill to her face that the person responsible for a mass casualty event is the pawn of a powerful conspiracy, and she basically says, “Not my problem.” Cobie Smulders must thank the gods that her Maria Hill is written as somebody with basic human decency.
[2] Hilariously, when Sally Floyd was brought back during Nick Spencer’s Captain America run because no one had piled enough dung on her corpse, this line was retconned to her asking him about Twitter. Given everything Elon’s been doing lately, we’ll see if that ages just as poorly.

Crutic felt the realspace reasserted itself with a faint lurch and a rattle of the spaceframe, the darkness behind his eyelids peeled away just in time to witness the streaks of light coalescing into a field of stars. And after that...nothing. Outside of the angry red glow of the indicator lightings around him and the graphics of the instrument cluster before him, he might as well be witnessing a portal into an infinite abyss so dark that his eyes may as well have remained shut. It wasn’t unexpected, though: the brief mission overview had made it abundantly clear that where his flight element was needed was among the interstellar void. The nearest star was nearly three parsecs away and was only called a star as a tribute to its fiery past - its photosphere likely offered its last gimmer millions of years ago. But it never mattered on how much prep was given, it was never a comfortable feeling to know that something is out there in the consuming absence. It was a small solace then, when his sensors chirped to indicate that it had achieved what the Human eye could not and found something out there within seconds. Before the modulated tone of his flight lead even made it through the constant hissing of the life support airflow, Crutic had his hands around the control yoke to disengage his TIE from the Gozanti’s docking tube.
“Target identified as a Ghtroc 720, range three-seventy kicks, armed. Form up to intercept and dissuade.”
The brisk affirmation from himself and Mynock Two and Four was almost drowned out by the whine from the engine as the four Imperial fighters screamed away from their transport and aligned themselves in a rough quadrilateral formation towards the sensor blip. It was drifting, sublights inactive and transponder silent, all in a valiant effort to blend into the interstellar background. But without jammers to further obscure their presence or a cloak to hide it completely, they were simply a something in a sea of nothing. And the moment the occupants realized this and that the Empire was there to do something about it, the engine arrays that flanked either side of the light freighter flared to life.
”Unidentified Ghtroc 720, you are in a restricted sector, return to designated Region 12 volume or face the consequence.”
Despite his attempt at civility, Mynock One and everyone present knew that this wasn’t an accidental drift into the gap between Region 12 and the edge of the greater galaxy; it was merely the latest instance of another group of beings from within that thought that they had the stealth necessary to break the region-wide lockdown. And with no change to their vector, it appeared that this particular group has the will to do a little more resisting. Crutic can’t help but consider a brief flicker of irony in that the energy spent into presently futile evasive flying would be better applied to their hyperdrive to make it to their next jump. As it is, either option would result in the TIEs landing shots on them, but at least the latter would be more…inconvenient for him and his immediate comrades in the long term.
The last warning was issued as the four fighters closed the last hundred kicks and this time a response came through in the form of a pair of crimson bolts fizzling through the formation. And at the same instant, Crutic Jo’ran retreated into the crevasse in the back of his mind and RG-273-76 took his place.
Safeties off. Targeting computer rendered an approximation of the freighter’s saucer shape upon the display. Align it with the crosshair. Target lock shrilled. Squeeze the trigger. Shields rippled violently as green energies hammered home.
Not good enough.
Check surrounding for teammates within immediate maneuvering vectors. Opening between Mynock One and Four. They peeled off after they had done their own run. Good. Pour in speed to gain distance.
Sounds of laser cannons from behind. Dodge. Stabilize as the rain of bolts trailed behind his flight path, too slow. Perform a sharp banking turn to bring the freighter back in front. Check for alignment to target. Sensor flagged a new relevant information: steep power draw on the hyperdrive module.
“Target almost ready to jump,” he notified into the comms, a practiced motion with a hand to divert power from the engines to the laser cannons.
Trigger down. Shields flashed but held. Tough gutkurr of a target, could do with a bomber’s warhead right about now. No time to linger on what is not available, focus on what is available now. Time for another run. Shields ate another strafe-
Mynock Two reports shield failure as explosion flared directly ahead in the profound blackness, revealing the viewport’s spoked features for the first time. Apply maximum deflection of etheric rudder to avoid the blast, clench against the inertia. Beads of molten metal showered the fighter chassis, but nothing to prompt damage notification.
A little too close for comfort, will have to talk to Two later.
Mynock Four snarled his own displeasure and reported his intent to break off due to damage sustained on his starboard radiator array. No time to worry about him, as long as the target is not disabled. Loop high over target, reacquire lock. Send down pelting fire across the freighter’s dorsal power conduit. Something exploded and their portside sunlight array wavered.
New target. Engine endured a respectable volley before belching out a blast of unfocused ionized particles with most of its glowing innards, submitting the starship into an uncontrolled yaw.
A sudden garble of noises filled his helmet as he directed his focus to the starboard engines, and before his thumb had a chance to render that to equally inoperable slag, a stilted Galactic Basic superimposed itself on top of the audio intrusion.
“Stop! Imperials, stop! We surrender!”
Crutic found himself sucking in a lungful of the stale, cool air as he recognized the Aqualish language and its translator assisted intentions. The rest of the Mynock flight also shared this moment of realization as they broke off from their attack vectors. Well, most of them anyway. At some point Mynock Four became a barely visible trail of titanium and quadanium steel. No life signs. Dank farrik.
”Ghtroc 720, power down immediately and stand by for boarding.” Mynock One’s voice had been level, but there was no denying that those benign words were layered with vitriol that preemptively silenced any kind of protest the other party might want to say. After a few satisfied seconds, the seething hatred dissipated as he changed frequency to the Gozanti to confirm that the onboard boarding party was prepared for the task.
Not long later, the frequency switched back to local and started with a deep sigh that Crutic could practically hear the muscles unclench itself. ”Mynock Flight, systems check.”
“Mynock Two, all systems nominal.”
”Mynock Three, likewise,” Crutic said, examining the reading his flight systems were offering him. Though, in the back of his mind, he could virtually hear the choice words picked by the maintenance team about the surface defects that were received during his near-miss of the explosion. At least he can point the blame to Two this time.
“Good, perform one last sensor sweep before redocking with the Deliverance and meet up at the main hold for debrief.”
A pair of affirmations later, the trio flowed over the crippled freighter at maximum sensor sweep to detect any kind of trap or other possible hindrances for the Gozanti boarding party. They also made sure to fly as uncomfortably close to the freighter as realistically plausible. Although the occupants surely wouldn’t see them, they will make sure they can hear them as loud as their aural sensors are willing to emulate, and hope that the distinctive howl of the twin ion engines resonate deep within the instinctive part of their psyche. The scans turned up nothing more than some dozen beings crammed in its cargo hold, and with that, they pulled back to give a wide berth to the docking Gozanti before connecting with it themselves. What happened next was out of their hands, they have an after action report to perform. With a layer of grief in their hearts.
While the return to Marjora Space was a transit that took only a matter of minutes, the sublight transit from the system’s edge to the Decadence was long enough to complete the debrief to an educational amount of detail, clean up, and prepare for the early departure. Under normal circumstances, it would have been a month or so more until the patrol rotation brought them back to the star destroyer low in Majora Prime’s atmosphere, but the recent development had details to iron out. Such as the prisoners they now have board that needed to go through processing - and if they looked like the stormtroopers were rougher with them than necessary, Crutic had chosen not to comment - and registering the loss of a member and securing their replacement. All of that meant at least a few days of shore leave.
At least, what actually constitutes a “shore leave” for the Imperials. It was anybody’s guess on how well the collective bulkhead of owned and affiliated starships, bases, and outposts have achieved a semblance of civilian life where enlisted and officers alike could loosen their mask of professionalism and indulge in a slice of greater society beyond their duty to the Imperial preservation and continuation. It was never intended to interfere with the military aspects and readiness, to be sure, but being surrounded slightly-different-walls and training bouts that might have been less about fitness and more about unspoken exchange of credits sets the scene for much needed stimulation to distract from the monotony of service. It was also an open secret that the galaxy’s assortment of liquid courage and other vile substances that Crutic would begrudge someone for partaking had slipped past regulation and formed an elusive enterprise that based themselves in various need-to-know locations. And the less said about the “flecks of inspiration” fresh from the Sapius Corp mines the better.
That being said, not all non-standard marketplace have to be so despicable, there were also demands from the more respectable members of society: the market for local goods. Ranging from simply a more comfortable clothing that could be worn under uniforms to prevent chafing to non-regulation but cozy blankets to keep warm during power rationing wherever one get stationed, or - one that Crutic is currently partaking in - foods that is used to supplement the stubborn mess droid’s nutritionally balanced but nonetheless dreary meals. Today was some kind of fried fish topped with a grated and pickled Marjora native seafloor tuber, courtesy of “The Shuttle Pilot” in the Decadence’s forward hangar’s armory. It wasn’t ba’buir Eres-Cruzia’s squirmer tiingilar that viciously strikes at the nose, but it was enough of a comfort food to dull the edges to a rough day.
A sigh brought back the reprimanding words of FS-273-4 - then, Mynock One - to the forefront of his mind. Yes, HG-273-81 - Mynock Two - shouldn’t have shot the target when there were friendly within the field of fire, but it was Crutic that blocked Mynock Four’s view of his projected flight path that costed him the necessary reaction time to recognize the explosion that crippled his craft and subsequently made him easy pickings for the freighter’s turret. It was an honest mistake, if a costly one. A life and an entire TIE fighter, the former a loyal member of the Empire and the latter an entire craft worth of irreplaceable components, gone to deep space. It wasn’t an uncommon occasion in the attrition against time, but missed all the same. With a sharp breath and an exertion of will, he suppressed the emotional baggage and sank into another crumbly bite to focus on its fishy, floral flavors that accompanied the textureless slurry of carbs and fiber methodically dispensed upon his metal platter.
Unable to keep it idle for long, his mind suggested the possibility of stopping by the star destroyer’s training facility, its spacious quality an allure to contrast against the cramped confines of the Gozantis. The notion was immediately dashed by a mouse droid that weaved through the forest of legs and beckoned for his attention. And with it came the news that his immediate future would be occupied by a debatably better use of his time. Downing the last of the vitamin enriched baked cuboid with a glass of water, he dismissed the droid and deposited the tray onto the outgoing conveyor on his way out of the mess hall. Helmet replaced securely on his head, he tackled the maze-like corridors and the necessary turbolifts at a brisk jog that eventually deposited him in front of the comms substation. The naval troopers guarding the room eyed him briefly before offering a nod of recognition and returning their bored stare at the opposite wall, implicitly granting him access to the inner workings.
With no combat situations or priority broadcast in effect to demand its full use, the ship’s comms served as a node that services a miniscule bandwidth to the greater galactic network. To the Imperial personnel with investment to the wider galaxy, it was a treasured peephole. It was monitored, of course, but it was a small price to pay for the privilege to be in touch with family and friends. Such as the case for Crutic. An exchange of relevant information to the comms operator later, a small monitor on the wall buzzed to life and resolved into a grainy image of a familiar woman that warmed something deep within his being.
”Su’cuy, buyca’kov,” she greeted, the sarcasm in her voice somehow making it through the heavy warping and choppiness of signal loss.
Crutic paused in his process of unraveling the layers of his persona for a second to grimaced slightly from what he considered to be an uncultured greeting; although the jab at the end served as a reminder that his helmet was still on, an issue he fixed immediately in one smooth motion.
“Hey, Lythsia, are ba’buire home?”
His half-sister took a few seconds to receive the message before shaking her head, assuming that’s what the poorly captured head blur would suggest. ”No, ba’buir Allisyr is out of business meeting down south ba’buir Eres is in the shop. It’s restock day.”
“It’s a miracle that you are at home at all!” Crutic offered a smile he reserved for a few beings in the entire Galaxy. While he had wanted to at least exchange pleasantries to his grandparents after a few long months, he is more than glad to share the time with his sibling.
“Oh, I could be elsewhere too if that’s what you prefer.”
“No, you’ll do,” he paused for a few seconds before speaking again, andt this time, his voice was grim, “how’re things out there?”
Lythsia gave an expression that’s hard to read through both the video’s low resolution and just the mix of emotions that fought for dominance in mere seconds. “If you mean the rebels, they are still focusing their efforts at Coruscant. We haven't really heard much about their interaction with the Governor after the demand for disarmament.”
“So you're holding up?”
“The ‘New Republic’ doesn’t bother my sector much. Shame, I got a backlog of datacard I’m fully willing to let someone ‘liberate’.”
Crutic could feel his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he shot a glance at the comm operator, who didn’t seem to take much notice about the details of the conversation. Of course, he has no reason to suspect his sister of treacherous thoughts as she is an alumni of SAGEducation, but it never hurts to be cautious against misinterpretations.
“Lythisa…”
”I know, I know, I shouldn’t joke about these things. But honestly? I don't know how long it would hold out. The talking heads up top don’t give a gundark’s sheb about who taxes them at the end of the day. And our government is too worried about the lack of star destroyers to correct that.”
Crutic sighed and scratched at his hair, untangling a few helmet-induced knots along the way. It seems like that was a trend that would progressively get worse as the years went by. Not that he can do anything about it, he has an obligation here in Region 12, and it’s entirely up to the whims of Admiral Jaquinn - and Governor Ryehall above him - to see if they plan to do anything about the anarchy going on in the galaxy.
“Well, anything good happen since we last spoke?”
Lythisa thought for a long moment - or the video feed froze, hard to say - before she shrugged. ”Team Uviuy made it through the preliminary in Galactic Cup, there’s that.”
A light chuckle escaped his lips at the new topic. As far as good news goes, it was quite low bar but he could at least appreciate the effort to ease the tension. He chose to latch onto it. “Think they will make it to at least the Semi-Finals?”
“Only if Team Fondor gets disqualified.”
“So that’s a no.”
”Last time Uviuy even got close to the podium, the Unknown Regions was still being charted.”
Crutic offered a puzzled expression at what appeared to be a trivia, given that the subject referenced was self-defining. “It still is-”
”Exactly,” Lythsia face was smug.
The conversations continued amicably, delving onwards from sport recaps to a prod at Lythsia's quest for romance and the subsequent defense of her character by criticizing her now-former-partners despite him having never met them, which naturally lead her to remind him that he should be more worried about his own lack of engagements. And inevitably brought the focus back on his activities for the last few months that wasn't obscured by confidentiality.
But far too soon, a movement by the doorway signaled that his allotted time had ran out. The monitor blacked with his sister's parting words, leaving behind a pang of wistful homesickness to swirl in his mind, as it always tended to do after such a session. And as he has done before and will do in the coming times, he took a moment to regained his composure. A process where vulnerability abdicate its role to the facade that grew away from the tender care. One of arrogance, pride, and ruthlessness; but also one of conviction, determination, and intensity. One of an Imperial pilot. As the helmet consumed his head, his soul stilled and he stepped forth down the grey halls with renewed resolve.

Writing this post to maybe help some people out and to record down what happened so I have something to refer to in the future when it comes time to do it all again.
I pre-ordered ZFold 3 with Tmobile, traded in a Samsung S9 for $1000 recurring device credit. Sold my S21U on Swappa for $800. It made sense for me to get SquareTrade to insure my entire family's phone for $20 a month, with $150 deductible. Started using the phone Sept of 2021.
On Jun 2022, my inner screen protector started to separate with vertical bubble line going down the middle. I purchased Orzero inneouter screen protector and replaced my inner screen protector myself. The first one lasted until Mar of 2023. The second one was still going strong when the inner screen cracked.
May 23, 2023, when I got to work and unfolded my phone, I heard the sound of glass or something crackling and popping. The middle of the screen went dark and the screen was no longer responsive. I could navigate the screen by touching down the black area, but not the still lit area. I went online to Squaretrade.com and filed a claim, they approved same day and said, "Get it repaired at a shop of your choice." There were a list of shops available, but it's very outdated and half of them have wrong phone numbers. I eventually got a hold of someone at Squaretrade who said yes when I asked, "can I get it repaired at a nearby Asurion / ubreakifix store?"
May 24, 2023, I visited the ubreakifix store near us after calling them to see if they have the Zfold 3 screen in stock. The receptionist was very nice and told me the repair is going to be, after tax, $879.19. I was flabbergasted. The guy behind me said, "you got a zfold? call samsung directly. they sent me a new one!" I was tempted, but when I asked if he got insurance, he said, "oh ya, I got the verizon insurance, the people are verizon took my fold and samsung sent me a new one next day" Anyways, that's his story, not applicable to me. I continued with the repair, left it there at lunchtime and picked it up after work.
https://imgur.com/a/udnasvS - See this link for itemized repair with kit #s.
Mind you, there was no visible damage to device, only the inner screen got the vertical black bar down the middle -- but they replaced the front screen, the frame, and the inner screen. I literally got a brand new phone back with the same innards. If I didn't have insurance, I think I would be pissed that they repaired more than they should've.
I asked, "is this repair warrantied?" The reply was, "sorry, the fold is the exception to the 1 year warranty. There's a 90 days workmanship warranty... but if the same thing happen again, we will have to look at it to see what happened and if we would honor it as part of the 90 day warranty."
I sent the receipt to SquareTrade same day. The system is wonky, it wouldn't allow me to upload the receipt. After speaking with the customer service, they said just reply to the Claim Email with the receipt image.
May 25th - I received email from SquareTrade that they received my receipt and the claim is accepted and my reimbursement in the amount of $730.19 is coming.
May 27th - I decided I wasn't going to keep the Z Fold 3. It's a risk I didn't want to take. I listed it on Swappa and kept dropping prices until it was purchased next day.
June 1st - I received the reimbursement rom SquareTrade as promised. I would recommend SquareTrade - it's really a painless process in my opinion.
I really used my Z Fold 3. For the inner screen, it's what I use to consume any media when I can sit and relax whether it's lunch time or toilet time. I enjoyed playing tic tac toe and drawing pictures with my son. I utilized the multiple screens for my work. I even, at one point, got a USB C dongle thing that allowed for wired ethernet, HDMI to TV, USB to PS5 controller, and DeX mode PS5 remote play.
I didn't upgrade to Z Fold 4, because the one thing I wanted -- being able to draw and take note on the outer screen, wasn't available. When zfold 5 is released, I suppose I will be repeating this whole process.

*** excerpt***
TALES OF THE DEAD IN SPACE UNIVERSE:
THE MARCHING DEAD CORPS
The Terran Space Marines...
They are, hands down, the most elite fighting force that has ever been sent into space to protect, defend, and conquer in the name of mankind. Highly trained in surface, subsurface, and space combat, they are almost unbeatable in a fight. In the nearly two-hundred and forty years of the existence of the Terran Space Marines, there is a near zero record of them ever being defeated in incursions, rebellions, insurrections, wars, and even encounters with hostile extraterrestrial entities.
They are, hands down, the best equipped of all branches of the Terran armed forces, each Terran Space Marine packing the most advanced arms, armor, and equipment that the intergalactic military defense industry can supply. Employed only for the toughest missions, the Terran Space Marines are only called upon when the Terran government needs the very best, most elite fighting force in the galaxy, to accomplish the most impossible jobs. Their exploits have been legendary, from a regiment of Space Marines recapturing Norfolk Orbital Station from a plague which turned the quarter million inhabitants into crazed demonic horrors, to a platoon of Space Marines who killed a literal giant skeletal death god on a planet named Willow’s World.
The elite Space Marines are the few, they are the proud, and they are the exact opposite of the person who I am. I am definitely not Space Marine material. Hell, I’m not even Terran Space Regular Army material. Naturally, there are more regular Army Joes than there are elite Space Marines, the Army being easily ten times the size as the Space Marines.
I’m a trooper in the most non-elite, non-glamorous, and most expendable of all the branches. I’m part of the FODERR (fodder), or the Federal Optional Deployment Enlisted Reserve Regiments, and ‘yes’, we are all painfully aware that we are literally ‘fodder’ both in name and in mission. Probably the only thing that the FODERR has going for it is that we are the largest branch of the Terran military, far larger than even the Army. To give you an idea of how numerically massive our numbers are, for every one Space Marine there are about ten regular Army GI Joes. And for every one regular Army soldier, there are about fifteen to twenty of us reservist troopers. Our numbers need to be far greater than the other branches of the service due to the genus doctrine which our genus political masters came up with which states that if the enemy has twenty high impact rounds for their weapon, we will send twenty-one reserve troopers to take the enemy down. Such is the gallows humor which the average trooper such as myself has grown used to. The fact is, the only thing that outnumbers us on the battlefield are usually the enemy and the number of rubber body bags which the Terran government sends with us.
Artillery prep? Never heard of it. Flanking maneuvers? Don’t make me laugh. Armor support? Sure, if you’re the enemy. Not for us, though. In the FODERR, we have just one combat doctrine which is, ‘Hey, diddle-diddle, straight up the middle.’ Have you ever seen a full on FODRR frontal assault? It’s pretty impressive for the first few minutes. After that, however, it usually turns into a slaughter. That’s why the FODERR Corps are known throughout the galaxy simply as The Marching Dead.
Okay, okay, okay... maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit about us not having artillery and armor support. After about a month of basic infantry training, those of us basic trainees who have shown the aptitude for it, basically those of us who can’t find their asses with both hands, are sent to artillery and armor school. And those few of us with the ability to find their asses with just one hand may even be selected to go to aerospace flight school as a gunship pilot. For the rest of us, however, after basic infantry training we were sent to advanced infantry training for an additional three weeks where we were taught to operate mortars, anti-armor and anti-aircraft weapons, correctly breaking those heavy weapons down, putting those heavy weapons on our backs, then marching that heavy shit from one end of the galaxy to the other.
Oh, and by the way, don’t think you are going to get out of the Marching Dead Corps by simply falling out of the training. Once you sign the contract to be in the Corps, you are in until your three years is up or until you become the creamy filled center of a rubber body bag. If you fall out of training, all you end up doing is earning a front row seat to the spearhead of the assault, and that tends to be detrimental to your 25% chance of surviving to the end of your three year contract.
So, you might ask, why would otherwise mentally stable young people sign on to become a FODERR Trooper? Well, to tell you the truth, most of us didn’t. Most of those who signed the contract, the ‘Federal Option’ of the Federal Optional Deployment Enlisted Reserve Regiment, are convicted criminals who are facing long jail sentences. And in this day and age, criminal offenses such as saying or thinking something which might be a threat to the Party is enough to land you a date in court standing in front of a judge and a recruitment officer with a Federal Option military contract in hand.
For me, I was working at the main city library as a lowly librarian assistant, trying to scratch out a living while also trying to pay my way through college indoctrination. Our local Party officials voted themselves a 40% annual raise so, naturally, the loyal citizens’ taxes increased. I had been saving to pay my loyal citizen tax from last year when the Party officials voted themselves a raise, and finally had enough to pay. I took a day off to drive to the Department of Taxation, a twelve story complex that took up a full three city blocks downtown. Parking was scarce, so I had to drive around the block for almost an hour before I landed a parking space. After waiting for another three hours, I finally paid the taxes that I owed which, I found out, went directly into a fund that paid for the annual vacation of the Party City Council to the tropical paradise of the Vega X System.
As I returned to my car, I was greeted by an enforcement officer writing me ticket for a parking violation. It seems that the back bumper of my old lemon-mobile extended 2.2 centimeters into the parking space behind me, meaning that I was obligated to pay for two parking spaces instead of one. I was charged on the spot for attempting to defraud the local party government and, two hours later, I was hauled to the twenty-two story tall Department of Justice building across the street which took up six city blocks and, after a thirty minute wait, was standing in front of a judge. I was faced with multiple criminal charges including illegally occupying more than my fair share of public spaces, attempting to defraud local party government, disrespect of party mandates, illegal storage of a personal vehicle on public property, and because of my race, I was also charged with sympathizing with white supremacy.
Unfortunately, because I had just paid my yearly tax increases, I did not have the money to pay for these additional penalties and fees, which added the additional charge against me of illegally not having enough money in my bank account to pay for additional government mandated taxes, penalties, and fees, the recommended amount being at least 45% of your total bank account.
The judge sentenced me to sixty-five years of hard labor on a mining asteroid in orbit around Saturn or, if I so chose, I could take the three year Federal Option. As my car was being impounded, I signed the contract placed in front of me by a military recruiting officer who told me that the storage fees for my piece of shit vehicle will be taken from my first year of federal service. Along with about another five hundred people between the ages of 18 to 40 who became instant convicted criminals that afternoon, I was led to the west wing of the Department of Justice building where we waited for three more days, sleeping on cots without blankets in large, freezing, open bays, subsisting on toast and potato soup twice a day while under constant armed guard. There were no separate spaces for males, females, and those who identified as part of the LGBTQXRWYVF779+++ community. Fights were rarely broken up by the guards, but the three dozen or so people who tried to escape were quickly rounded up and handcuffed to braces on the walls for their entire stay, not being released even when it was feeding time or if they had to relieve themselves in the filthy restrooms which could barely service one hundred people. After three days, the two thousand people who were there before us were taken away and finally it was our turn to board the cattle trucks which would take us directly to our FODERR infantry basic training sites.
Since the Terran government declared a war on terrorism against the Alpha Centauri Colonies, over seventy FODERR infantry basic training camps were opened throughout the country, mostly abandoned or underused military bases which had been reopened and expanded, together adding nearly a quarter million troopers annually to send into the wars in space beside the regular Army and the Space Marines.
So, almost exactly two months after I was declared a hardened parking violation criminal, I found myself stuffed into a rusty space freighter along with two hundred other troopers on our way to war in the Alpha Centauri system...

I walked into the Charlottesville Lowes today, unaware that I was entering a theater of the absurd. They have a kegerator prominently displayed at the entrance, replete with a tap handle, almost as if it is ready to pour golden liquid goodness, and it is on sale! How could I resist?
I looked around in search of the box containing a version I could purchase. Failing to find one, I searched the appliance section. I also had an eye out for anyone with a blue vest who might be able to help me. No such luck.
I ventured to the cash registers, which are now largely the domain of self checkout machines, where I found several lengthy and disjointed lines of tired customers, laden with all manner of home improvement flotsam, including lumber, various flora, and caulk. Lots of caulk.
There were two, count 'em, TWO young associates charged with watching the customers check themselves out. At the grocery store, this position is usually designed to check ID's for alcohol purchases and, presumably, enforcement of the $.05 plastic bag tax. I am not sure what these folks were doing other than dodging 2x4's wielded by Harry Homeowner on his way to add a bar to the deck that he built over COVID.
I approached the first one and he seemed to welcome the option to leave his post when I asked how to buy a kegerator, but then he hastily reconsidered. "Uh, she may need me." "She" was on her phone, looking as if there was an instachat post in need of remediation. They quickly powwowed and the young lady left her post, presumably having dealt with the social media emergency, and tried a landline call. Apparently it was to no avail because she exhaled exasperatedly.
Aa we walked back toward APPLIANCES she confided in me that they never answer their phone. I smiled and nodded, hoping she would appreciate the kinship we were cultivating. "You guys are busy, huh?"
"Nah, it is always like this."
We found the consummate curmudgeon waiting with something less than a welcoming expression on his face, leaning on a $5000 steel refrigerator with a digital screen. My new friend said, "This dude wants to buy that weird looking mini-fridge up fr..."
He cut her off.
"Can't you see I am with a customer?"
I looked around. There was a middle-aged couple taking a cursory look at a vertical washedryer combo. I think it was a date. I bet they had plans to hit Chick-Fil-A later.
"You should have called first anyway."
My chaperone retorted with, "I did! You ain't gotta get an attitude in front of a customer." They both looked at me as if I might have a resolution. I shrugged. The couple wandered off.
She looked at me and said, "Customer service can probly order it for you." She pointed back to the front.
I found a line even less orderly than the version connected to the self checkout line and the denizens were even less happy. As I listened to a woman complain about how her grill had arrived without being assembled, I did my own online search for my kegerator. Sure enough, Lowes is promoting that sucker. I was just about to enter my credit card information and have the identical device shipped to my house when I found my way to the front of the line.
The first attendant asked if my grill had arrived assembled. His boss with a stately assistant manager name tag said, "Nooo, he wants the kegerator, but we don't have any."
I pointed to the kegerator.
He said, "You can't have that one, we need it on the floor to show people what we have."
"But...you do not have any?"
"No, we are going to get some in, I think."
"So you have a floor model, but no actual kegerators for sale?"
"I can get one delivered to your house."
'Oh, cool," I said. Maybe this would work out after all. "When can it arrive? It is a gift."
He stared for some time at his personal communication device, which looks strikingly like a cross between a large cell phone and a Star Trek phaser.
"I don't know."
I had been the quintessence of calm and friendly up to this point, but I was starting to think that I was the target of an elaborate practical joke. I moderated my voice before speaking.
"So, you have a floor model situated to be the very first product that anyone sees when they walk in the door, but you do not actually have the item in the store, you will not sell me the one you have, and you do not know when you can order it?"
He looked incredibly satisfied that I had accurately surmised the situation. "That's it."
I looked at the lady whose grill was still sitting in her yard, presumably waiting to be assembled. She was on the verge of either tears or insane laughter.
I was about to point out the lunacy inherent in the notion that I was about to hit "purchase" on my phone and have it delivered to my house when he said, "Oh!"
It was a revelatory moment.
"You can go to Ruckersville. It says they have three." He gestured at his phaser as if to say that it MUST be true.
I departed for my car without another word.
Within 5 minutes of entering the Greene County Lowes, I had a kegerator paid for on a dolly headed toward my car. They had a floor model AND boxes containing the item nearby, not to mention friendly, helpful people to lead the way.
Leadership matters. Kindness matters. Communication REALLY matters. And this beer I am drinking out of a can because I still need to buy a keg...it is life itself.

I suppose this post is more for people who might be curious about what is going on from an informed perspective and / or are wanting to understand the problems we face.
I have worked at the Hall / in criminal justice in SF for 20 years. I am not particularly political, being a person more interested in understanding things than my own opinions, at least these days. I read police reports, talk to judges and cops and DAs and defense lawyers and defendants - and I have for all of these years. I was here when Kamala waged her "war on drugs" that followed the national movement.
The problems we face right now are not unique to SF, although there are aspects that make them unique. Optics, for example. The TL abuts the financial district and most people that live here have to cross market and see the blight. Not true in LA, where you have to go to skid row to see the same. Also, this city has always been a beacon or a draw. California in general, but SF beyond that. Our services, or the perception of services here. But also, the flavor and reputation of this city, and I am not talking about "soft on crime" reputation that seems to be the obsession of the right. More and more, it's clear that the narrative of a "failed city" is one that feeds conservative politics.
Property crime follows drugs and adapts t technology. The drug problem that we have in SF - again, not unique, but it's breadth is greater because of those factors mentioned - is a reckoning that is much, much larger than this city. It's not just fentanyl, but meth too. Meth has been around for a long time, but the advent of fentanyl has really created more meth opportunities, too. Why? Because these are drugs that do not require a natural resource. They are made with chemicals. Chemicals sent from the east and combined in Mexico - and because they can be created with ubiquity (because of the lack of limitation of natural resources / need to geographically move such distances) - can enter into the US in millions of veins instead of the larger arteries we saw before. The average arrestee these days has EXTRAORDINARY amounts of fentanyl and meth on them, like 100 and 50g, respectively.
The other issue is the supply of dealers. SFPD has long had a federal grant that pays a lot of money to cops to set up "buy-bust" operations. They do them in the TL, our visible, open-air drug market that caters to street-level users who can't afford a roof to sell or use under. This is not politics, this is factual. Back in the day, cops were frequently arresting users who would "break off a piece" for $20 or so to sell to them. Not anymore.
We have always had a lot of immigrant drug sellers, but *nothing* like we have these days. Largely from Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala, these folks ride what they call the "death train" or "la bestia" up through Mexico to get to border towns where they pay to be smuggled across. Mothers place their teenaged sons on the train, so nicknamed for the extraordinary violence that accompanies the ride. People are notoriously robbed, raped and killed on la bestia. They do so, not because they are bad mothers, but because life in many of these small towns is controlled by gangs. Gangs that were actually started in California prisons and became transnational after the deportation of the paroled prisoners returned there. That's how Mara Salvatrucha, the most dangerous gang in the world, started.
The cartels have started to run the coyote business that is responsible for getting people across the border. So that if you make it across Mexico to a border town and have the ~$1500 to cross, you are dealing with another dangerous situation - which often results in the trafficking of those who have paid to get across. The drug sellers you see in the TL are often victims themselves. And again, I am not pushing politics, I am just explaining what is factual. The reckoning is already happening on our courts.
I know that there are people who have a "lock em up" attitude and think this issue can be controlled by incarceration. But it can't, at least at the level of SFPD and local courts. For law enforcement to impact this problem, it will require the intervention of the federal government for their resources - and going far higher up the chain. Arresting street-level dealers and incarcerating them one at a time is not going to create even a dent; there are more kids crossing to take their place everyday.
Again, not politics: this is about how to address the issue. Surely, yes, you can displace homeless. Many point to the idea of sharing the problem. Makes sense. Soooo many of our homeless, drug addicted are coming from other places where their tax money doesn't have to house and feed them. But ultimately displacement is moving the problem around. On the property crime / user side, we need to have better resources dedicated to treatment. More money in research. Property crime will continue to be rampant so long as the drug use is as high. We have very antiquated programming, although it's getting better.
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. I get exhausted reading all of the misinformed comments on here. I am not a bleeding heart. I think our in-fighting about Brooke versus Chesa versus SFPD versus blah blah blah is a distraction from the fact that we are dealing with something with much larger dimensions than we ever have and we need to see it for what it is. Oh and another thing, the changes made by Chesa (which is substituted for progressive prosecution) had VERY LITTLE to do with any of the policies around things we actually see. That's why things are the same, even though confirmation bias has people wanting to see that they have changed. SF is ground zero for a reckoning, it'll be happening no matter how people want to perceive it.
But it's the best city in the whole world, so take that!

It's due to the chip readers.
The companies that run the chip readers put a default tipping option in their platforms. The chipreaders get a percentage of everything charged, and they push for tips as they get more money that way.
Ultimately, it's not about providing additional wages for baristas or counter service workers, etc. It's about a company who hosts chip reader devices wanting more money.
You don't have to tip. Unless you're being waited on inside a restaurant, just say no. No tip for counter-work, for pouring me a black coffee, or handing me a togo bag.
Why Tipping Should Be Banned
A lot of restaurants have moved towards a default 18% gratuity rather than raising their prices, to save on taxes. As apparently, the company has to pay less in taxes on tips rather than wage. We don't go to those restaurants. If you can't afford to pay your employees a living wage, including paying your share of employment taxes that go along with it, you do not have a viable business.
The only people that support tipping culture are the minority of tip workers who benefit from the system. Most tipped workers do not benefit from tipping culture. There are a handful that do, but even then, the pay isn't consistent. You're not making Saturday night rush money on a slow tuesday morning. These tip workers also benefit by committing tax fraud by not claiming their tips. If the only way you make "good money" is by committing tax fraud, there is a huge problem.

Oh you just don't get it

I worked FOH in the service industry for 11 years as a bartender and server. I have a degree in business. It's the tipping workers who defend this who don't get it. Tipping culture is predatory on the workers, on our state infrastructure paid for by the tax system, and on the customers.
Remember who the enemy is here. It's not your fellow man. It's those who own capital.

Company Name	Title	City
Wilo EMU USA LLC	Application Engineering Manager	Collierville
Encore Rehabilitation Services	Certified Occupational Therapy Assistant	Antioch
Hickory Hollow Acquisitions Inc	Greenway Kia Hickory Hollow - Sales Manager	Antioch
Always Best Care Senior Services - Memphis, TN	HHA needed / Arlington, TN	Arlington
Suncoast Drivers	Class B CDL Box Truck Driver	Arlington
Lehman-Roberts Company	Front End Loader- Plant Division	Arlington
Hillcrest Healthcare	Free Nurse Aide Training	Ashland City
Jackson Hewitt 2357	Customer Service	Ashland City
Amedisys	LPN Hospice Nurse	Athens
Kidzcare Pediatrics	Front Desk Receptionist	Athens
Bracken Paving	General Laborer	Blountville
Twice Daily	Full Time - Retail Cashier (Any Shift)	Bon Aqua
CareNow	Senior Financial Analyst	Brentwood
JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A.	Branch Manager (Network Expansion) - Greater Nashville - Nashville, TN	Brentwood
American Family Dentistry	Dental Hygienist	Brentwood
Goodwill Industries of Tenneva, inc.	Sales Associate/ Cashier	Bristol
Friendship Automotive	Volvo Sales Specialists	Bristol
Deloitte	International Tax, Manager, Value Chain Alignment	Bristol
Deloitte	VP, Product Management	Bristol
Select Specialty Hospital - TriCities	Nursing Assistant (NA) - Full Time Night Shift	Bristol
Christian Medical & Dental Associations	Continuing Education Coordinator - 4 Day Work Week!	Bristol
Bluegreen Vacations Corporation	Vacation Sales Representative	Bristol
Palmetto Moon	Store Manager - Bristol	Bristol
Mobile Therapy Centers of America	ABA Therapist	Chapmansboro
VieMed Healthcare Staffing	Clinical Respiratory Sales Representative	Chattanooga

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings , feel free to comment here if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Company Name	Title	City
Wilo EMU USA LLC	Application Engineering Manager	Collierville
Encore Rehabilitation Services	Certified Occupational Therapy Assistant	Antioch
Hickory Hollow Acquisitions Inc	Greenway Kia Hickory Hollow - Sales Manager	Antioch
Always Best Care Senior Services - Memphis, TN	HHA needed / Arlington, TN	Arlington
Suncoast Drivers	Class B CDL Box Truck Driver	Arlington
Lehman-Roberts Company	Front End Loader- Plant Division	Arlington
Hillcrest Healthcare	Free Nurse Aide Training	Ashland City
Jackson Hewitt 2357	Customer Service	Ashland City
Amedisys	LPN Hospice Nurse	Athens
Kidzcare Pediatrics	Front Desk Receptionist	Athens
Bracken Paving	General Laborer	Blountville
Twice Daily	Full Time - Retail Cashier (Any Shift)	Bon Aqua
CareNow	Senior Financial Analyst	Brentwood
JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A.	Branch Manager (Network Expansion) - Greater Nashville - Nashville, TN	Brentwood
American Family Dentistry	Dental Hygienist	Brentwood
Goodwill Industries of Tenneva, inc.	Sales Associate/ Cashier	Bristol
Friendship Automotive	Volvo Sales Specialists	Bristol
Deloitte	International Tax, Manager, Value Chain Alignment	Bristol
Deloitte	VP, Product Management	Bristol
Select Specialty Hospital - TriCities	Nursing Assistant (NA) - Full Time Night Shift	Bristol
Christian Medical & Dental Associations	Continuing Education Coordinator - 4 Day Work Week!	Bristol
Bluegreen Vacations Corporation	Vacation Sales Representative	Bristol
Palmetto Moon	Store Manager - Bristol	Bristol
Mobile Therapy Centers of America	ABA Therapist	Chapmansboro
VieMed Healthcare Staffing	Clinical Respiratory Sales Representative	Chattanooga

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings , feel free to comment here if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Hi everyone!
We are slowly approaching 700! Tell your neighbors! Friends! Enemies! Pets! Join shelton and let's keep informing each other! Let's build an online community and then reflect it in our every day life.
Let me ask right now - do you want more posts from me about Shelton, less posts, or am I doing alright finding content and sharing? We are lucky to live in an area with lots going on, but not really a lot that is overly newsworthy (without crossing into possible pearl clutching). So I sometimes find myself either missing news, or worrying that I am at "Peeking over my neighbor's fences" level of reporting ... if you can call what I do reporting, which I don't really think it is.
Anyway, your two cents are valuable to me! Please let me know.
A HUGE thank you to those that have been active in posting. Also, as always, PLEASE report any questionable content. I mean, don't report content you disagree with (unless it is also questionable) and please help keep the ugly parts of our online forum for our town clean and clear of hatred and bigotry and unjustified fear. Let's work to be inclusive of as many people as possible. Even if we don't agree with everything.
Anyway, enough of that. I still want to thank everyone who has posted about things going on in town, because an informed citizenship is an active citizenship.
Speaking of informed, I was wonderfully lucky to have a chance to exchange emails with Mark Ziegler, who is our City Manager! Now, his email says he is interim, but I am not sure if that is accurate? I thought he was appointed permanently, but I am not sure how that all lays out. I suppose I should have asked when we conversed, back in early May.
Anyway, here's the discussion we had (I have slightly edited my words to make me sound SMRTR, which to say, I deleted a lot of extraneous text explaining who and what I am, what reddit is, some justification for my role, etc. etc. and left the parts Mark is responding to. He was delightfully patient. If you want, I can repost with the original email unedited, but trust me, I am embarrassingly a Shelton fan.):
+++++++++++++++++
TOMAS: I find the best way to fight predisposed notions of a place is to just post news that fights as much of the "Oh. Shelton." B.S. I have run into these past ten years. People here sometimes don't really know what they have, and nothing bothers me more than people "supposing". I fell in love with Shelton back in 2013, and things are not the same (they are better!) as that time. Anyway, enough about me and my motivations.
To start, a simple request - where can I go for resources on volunteering in Shelton, and does that include trail work/cleanup? I will most likely make a reddit post with your response included, either whole cloth or edited. Let me know what you would prefer.
MARK: I appreciate your direct approach and your view on “supposing” as this can be one of our biggest obstacles to providing factual information to our community. I certainly feel the same as you do about Shelton, although I realized it much earlier, in the late 70’s.
The typical volunteer opportunities, or those that are coordinated by the City, are project based or an advisory capacity. Project based opportunities are typically in parks and trails either via the City’s Adopt-A-Park(policy here) program or a specific park project, such as the play structure install scheduled for this fall at Northcliff Neighborhood Park. If individuals or small groups are interested picking up garbage or something simple, that can happen informally and staff can assist in removing the collected litter or providing equipment.
The advisory opportunities occur with permanent committees such as the Shelton Arts Commission, Parks and Recreation Advisory Committee, Lodging Tax Advisory Committee, and the Civil Service Commission. These committees are of various sizes, comprised of City residents(some allow for a minority of County residents) that advise staff and Council on defined roles as established by ordinance. I can provide additional information on any of those if it of assistance. There have also been temporary committee such as the Homeless Task for and the Financial Sustainability Task Force that are limited term and more specific in task and responsibilities.
As far as where to go. There is not a clearing house per se. These opportunities are advertised as needed or solicited through the City’s media outlets.
TOMAS: Is there a point of contact for the simple litter control for Parks and Trails? Is there a "Invasive Plant" control point of contact for helping remove scotch broom/English Ivy on trails ? [I]s there a suggested way to communicate? I see Shelton Rotary has picked up the Huff'npuff. If my organization, whatever it might be, would be interested in an adoption we would need to contact Jordanne Krumpols, correct? Actually, my guess is Jordanne Krumpols is the answer to all of my questions here.
MARK: Correct. Jordanne can assist with any parks or trails related projects regardless of tasks. We would greatly value work parties related to invasive plant control. The Theresa Johnson Trail is always in need of more public usage and some litter control at a minimum.
TOMAS: Any person or group can say, "Hey, I am headed to such and such location to pick up trash, is that ok? May we have some trash bags, and we will leave them at X location for pickup?" and possibly mild PPE (reflective vests?) if near a roadway? I am supposing it is based on a "Needs of the event" type thing, and what might be available for use, correct? Jordanne or some other city supervisor would need to understand and approve the plan for safety reasons, correct? Park litter cleanup is markedly different from roadside cleanup when it comes to liability. We've had one or two people ask about volunteer opportunities, and I currently have a "stickied" post about volunteer organizations.
MARK: Again, correct. We have some vests, pickers, bags, and can pick up at a designated location(s) when complete. The “rules” for park property and streets or right of ways can be different. Typically we ask that individuals honoobey pedestrian and traffic laws and do not enter private property. The City can only remove trash/litter from public properties unless through an abatement program.
I don't think there are any trails with any current trimming or building needs, but if there were, that would be advertised on the SheltonWA website or the twitter page? Or any event looking for volunteers? I am thinking something like the oversized trash collection day, for example (if that uses volunteers). It actually looks like the open seasonal position is pretty much what I was looking at as a volunteer option! https://www.governmentjobs.com/careers/sheltonwa? I suppose I am just asking to make sure I understand what you have shared.
MARK: In the past we have coordinated with Mason Conservation District for invasive removal projects that have been an open invitation to the general public to attend. These are promoted through local media and the City’s traditional media outlets. The property above(west) of Kneeland Park is one such property that we have been discussing for such a project to remove ivy and clean up litter. The seasonal positions do perform some of this but we really cannot keep up with all of the necessary work that limits liability, cleanliness of restrooms, mowing, and the highly visible areas once the weather improves.
TOMAS: Last question (and an oddball one, I suppose!) - Does the city permit or have any issue with magnet fishing in the public waterways?
MARK: No. I believe that would be limited to access of a body of water rather than the action itself. The only formal public shoreline access that the City maintains is at 6th Street Park and very limited.
TOMAS: Is there anything you would like me to share for [THE JUNE] post?
MARK: I appreciate the opportunity. I believe the City (government) needs to build and maintain partnerships throughout the community, whether with groups or individuals. In my previous experience, when building these partnerships to construct the playground at Kneeland Park, construct the clock tower, Callanan Park renovation, or individual work parties we come to better understand the common goals and similarities in working to make Shelton a better place, to live work and play.
++++++++++++++++++++
It was very nice to have a chance to ask questions like this of a city official, and Joe and Mark have been wonderful.
PLEASE let me know who you would like me to try and reach out to next, be it a Road department person if I can, or a PUD3 person, or even a business person in town. While I am actually a horrible introvert I do pretty well via email, if I can keep my wordiness to a minimum!
If you have any questions you want me to ask, please either post here or send me a direct message. I will pass it along!

Damn it, lost a day! Had Memorial Day off but got fucked (mandated to work) on Saturday. Threw off the timing. Super-rare Wednesday edition!
Good afternoon. Brief listing of CAREER JOBS pulled from usps.com/careers/ for your convenience. Tell HR User_3971 sent you, let's see if they pay more than .25¢ per head. NOTE: Maintenance jobs are drying up - the In Service Register may finally be seeing results for our already career people.
Some jobs may be part-time regular however all listed jobs should qualify for federal benefits from day one. To save text I have only listed the location and date of posting for each. Use the posting number for your search term. LC and MM are entry-level Maintenance. Here is a Maint overview and here is Exam 955 info. You can DO it!
​
NOTE: USPS NEVER charges a fee for entrance exams. If payment is requested during the application process, walk the fuck away, go to usps.com/careers/ and APPLY THERE. We even has a video walkthrough prepared.
​
Laborer Custodial:
CHARLEVOIX MI NC11370316 05/27/2023
OMAHA NE NC11369343 05/27/2023
SAN JOSE CA NC11365062 05/27/2023
KIRKLAND WA NC11367251 05/27/2023
COLUMBUS OH NC11371903 05/27/2023
FORT WASHAKIE WY NC11369073 05/27/2023
YUBA CITY CA NC11367214 05/25/2023
MOUNT IDA AR NC11361986 05/20/2023
BRATTLEBORO VT NC11374752 05/31/2023
BENTON HARBOR MI NC11371533 05/27/2023
PETALUMA CA NC11371537 05/27/2023
CATASAUQUA PA NC11371600 05/27/2023
EL CENTRO CA NC11371615 05/27/2023
HAMBURG PA NC11371700 05/27/2023
SAINT LOUIS MO NC11371707 05/27/2023
HAZELWOOD MO NC11371718 05/27/2023
WAUKESHA WI NC11371854 05/27/2023
GREEN BAY WI NC11371863 05/27/2023
SAINT LOUIS MO NC11371870 05/27/2023
AUSTIN TX NC11371871 05/27/2023
YUBA CITY CA NC11371908 05/27/2023
EAST HAMPTON NY NC11371909 05/27/2023
PEEKSKILL NY NC11371527 05/27/2023
PEEKSKILL NY NC11371421 05/27/2023
MACHIAS ME NC11371418 05/27/2023
SAN MATEO CA NC11371915 05/27/2023
WILLMAR MN NC11371410 05/27/2023
CUPERTINO CA NC11370120 05/27/2023
WARSAW IN NC11369259 05/27/2023
BISMARCK ND NC11369191 05/27/2023
DES MOINES IA NC11369059 05/27/2023
URBANDALE IA NC11369055 05/27/2023
DES MOINES IA NC11369050 05/27/2023
BUFFALO GROVE IL NC11368995 05/27/2023
SANTA ANA CA NC11365065 05/27/2023
CATASAUQUA PA NC11367255 05/25/2023
HAMBURG PA NC11367254 05/25/2023
WHITE RIVER JUNCTION VT NC11371417 05/27/2023
WEST CHICAGO IL NC11368968 05/27/2023
​
Maintenance Mechanic:
WEST PALM BEACH FL NC11367250 05/27/2023
PONTIAC MI NC11370630 05/27/2023
MINNEAPOLIS MN NC11371348 05/27/2023
NEW YORK NY NC11370543 05/27/2023
EAGAN MN NC11369434 05/27/2023
BIRMINGHAM AL NC11369105 05/27/2023
DES MOINES IA NC11369114 05/27/2023
WICHITA KS NC11369186 05/27/2023
PHOENIX AZ NC11364942 05/27/2023
JACKSONVILLE FL NC11370197 05/27/2023
HARRISBURG PA NC11369187 05/27/2023
COLUMBUS OH NC11370181 05/27/2023
CAROL STREAM IL NC11363416 05/27/2023
BOSTON MA NC11370175 05/27/2023
BETHPAGE NY NC11371414 05/27/2023
SAINT LOUIS MO NC11371828 05/27/2023
MEMPHIS TN NC11371737 05/27/2023
MELVILLE NY NC11371742 05/27/2023
JERSEY CITY NJ NC11371729 05/27/2023
​
Special! Interesting Maintenance Jobs: (may be skills required)
​
Maintenance Mechanic MPE:
FARGO ND NC11371325 05/27/2023
WEST FARGO ND NC11371173 05/27/2023
COLUMBUS OH NC11370161 05/27/2023
WHITE RIVER JUNCTION NC11371671 05/27/2023
EAGAN MN NC11369373 05/27/2023
WICHITA KS NC11369179 05/27/2023
MINNEAPOLIS MN NC11371319 05/27/2023
ELK GROVE VILLAGE IL NC11370043 05/27/2023
​
Building Equipment Mechanic:
FACILITY MAINTENANCE MECHANIC - MERRIFIELD VA NC11371531 05/27/2023
BELLMAWR NJ NC11368795 05/27/2023
MINNEAPOLIS MN NC11368549 05/27/2023
​
General Clerk VMF:
TULSA OK NC11367091 05/24/2023
MIAMI FL NC11365300 05/30/2023
WEST PALM BEACH FL NC11365247 05/30/2023
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Tool & Parts Clerk:
MIAMI FL NC11365302 05/30/2023
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Garage Assistant:
HOUSTON TX NC11368988 05/26/2023
Electronic Technician:
BROCKTON MA NC11370302 05/27/2023
ROCHESTER NY NC11371416 05/27/2023
ELK GROVE VILLAGE IL NC11370150 05/27/2023
JACKSON MS NC11366836 05/27/2023
TRENTON NJ NC11369363 05/27/2023
​
NON-Maintenance jerbs:
​
SALES,SVCS/DISTRIBUTION ASSOC:
LINDEN TN NC11359072 05/18/2023
OCEAN BEACH NY NC11370230 05/27/2023
LANAI CITY HI NC11363428 05/20/2023
DAYTON TX NC11362387 05/22/2023
MEMPHIS MO NC11370238 05/29/2023
JACKMAN ME NC11367260 05/25/2023
ILIAMNA AK NC11371701 05/27/2023
CHENOA IL NC11361153 05/19/2023
BUNA TX NC11362381 05/22/2023
BOLINAS CA NC11368368 05/25/2023
PRESIDIO TX NC11360896 05/19/2023
PALACIOS TX NC11362377 05/22/2023
KOTZEBUE AK NC11371704 05/27/2023
ROCKSPRINGS TX NC11361161 05/19/2023
MILLERSBURG PA NC11370506 05/27/2023
EAGLE BUTTE SD NC11367304 05/29/2023
S YARMOUTH MA NC11370685 05/27/2023
CHARLESTON TN NC11371307 05/27/2023
BERRYVILLE AR NC11360673 05/19/2023
RANDLE WA NC11367126 05/24/2023
PECONIC NY NC11370190 05/27/2023
MARSHALL AR NC11360674 05/19/2023
ELK MOUND WI NC11369091 05/25/2023
BOW WA NC11367586 05/25/2023
BASSETT NE NC11366996 05/24/2023
ADDY WA NC11367447 05/25/2023
WEST CHATHAM MA NC11368584 05/27/2023
WEBBERVILLE MI NC11360764 05/19/2023
PONCE DE LEON FL NC11367045 05/24/2023
MARENGO IL NC11369368 05/26/2023
KETCHIKAN AK NC11373327 05/30/2023
HOMEWOOD CA NC11368364 05/25/2023
HIGHLAND MD NC11372890 05/30/2023
FLANDREAU SD NC11367252 05/25/2023
BELGIUM WI NC11366636 05/24/2023
BATH MI NC11360766 05/19/2023
LOS GATOS CA NC11368369 05/26/2023
EDGECOMB ME NC11367253 05/25/2023
​
City Carrier:
OAKLAND CA NC11365498 05/28/2023
PITTSBURGH PA NC11365454 05/28/2023
AURORA CO NC11365555 05/28/2023
BARRINGTON IL NC11370311 05/29/2023
CAMBRIDGE MA NC11370380 05/27/2023
CINCINNATI OH NC11365482 05/28/2023
COLUMBUS OH NC11365496 05/28/2023
COVINGTON KY NC11371919 05/27/2023
DENVER CO NC11366882 05/28/2023
DULUTH MN NC11362480 05/30/2023
EAST PALO ALTO CA NC11368607 05/26/2023
FREMONT CA NC11370500 05/27/2023
HALF MOON BAY CA NC11367133 05/25/2023
HOPKINS MN NC11367637 05/25/2023
JAMAICA PLAIN MA NC11365301 05/28/2023
KANSAS CITY MO NC11365461 05/28/2023
LONGMONT CO NC11364941 05/30/2023
MENLO PARK CA NC11367127 05/25/2023
MINNEAPOLIS MN NC11365468 05/28/2023
MISSION KS NC11366896 05/28/2023
REDWOOD CITY CA NC11367129 05/25/2023
RICHMOND CA NC11361984 05/24/2023
RICHMOND CA NC11370511 05/27/2023
SAN FRANCISCO CA NC11365552 05/28/2023
SANTA BARBARA CA NC11371344 05/27/2023
WALTHAM MA NC11365314 05/28/2023
WATERTOWN WI NC11367306 05/24/2023
WESTMINSTER CO NC11372881 05/30/2023
WESTMINSTER CO NC11372888 05/31/2023
WHEAT RIDGE CO NC11372884 05/30/2023
WOBURN MA NC11370383 05/27/2023
BURLINGAME CA NC11367093 05/25/2023
DENVER CO NC11365625 05/28/2023
FORT DODGE IA NC11367454 05/31/2023
GLENSHAW PA NC11367256 05/26/2023
SAN BRUNO CA NC11367213 05/25/2023
SCOTTDALE PA NC11367257 05/26/2023
ALBANY NY NC11370227 05/27/2023
BELMONT CA NC11366923 05/25/2023
CONCORD NH NC11370243 05/27/2023
DENVER CO NC11365557 05/28/2023
FLORENCE KY NC11371918 05/27/2023
LAKEWOOD CO NC11366843 05/28/2023
LOS GATOS CA NC11368374 05/26/2023
LOUISVILLE KY NC11365467 05/28/2023
LOWELL MA NC11370408 05/27/2023
MADISON WI NC11365493 05/28/2023
MOUNT HOREB WI NC11368738 05/26/2023
SAINT PAUL MN NC11365480 05/28/2023
SAN MATEO CA NC11367212 05/25/2023
SOUTH BEND IN NC11370168 05/26/2023
UNION GROVE WI NC11368781 05/26/2023
ASPEN CO NC11369062 05/26/2023
BELVEDERE TIBURON CA NC11372865 05/30/2023
BILLERICA MA NC11370249 05/27/2023
BILLINGS MT NC11367481 05/25/2023
BOULDER CO NC11353373 05/28/2023
BOULDER CO NC11365053 05/29/2023
CEDARBURG WI NC11367207 05/24/2023
CHELSEA MA NC11365307 05/28/2023
COHOES NY NC11367097 05/29/2023
CORTE MADERA CA NC11372872 05/30/2023
CRESSON PA NC11367258 05/26/2023
FARGO ND NC11366936 05/29/2023
INDIANAPOLIS IN NC11365459 05/28/2023
LACONIA NH NC11370526 05/27/2023
LAWRENCE MA NC11370401 05/27/2023
LITTLETON CO NC11366840 05/28/2023
MALDEN MA NC11365310 05/28/2023
MILLBRAE CA NC11367211 05/25/2023
NEWPORT KY NC11372004 05/27/2023
NORTHGLENN CO NC11366639 05/28/2023
PACIFICA CA NC11367168 05/25/2023
SAN CARLOS CA NC11367164 05/25/2023
SAN JOSE CA NC11365554 05/28/2023
SANTA CLARA CA NC11368650 05/26/2023
SARATOGA SPRINGS NY NC11367451 05/27/2023
SUNNYVALE CA NC11368652 05/26/2023
WATERTOWN WI NC11367220 05/24/2023
CENTRAL SEATTLE WA NC11366942 05/28/2023
NORTH SEATTLE WA NC11366940 05/28/2023
SOUTH SEATTLE WA NC11366849 05/28/2023
​
Rural Carrier:
KNOXVILLE TN NC11372862 05/30/2023
GORHAM ME NC11370153 05/26/2023
BARRINGTON NH NC11370412 05/27/2023
BRIGHTON CO NC11372903 05/30/2023
AMERY WI NC11370225 05/26/2023
​
Motor Vehicle Operator:
ALBANY NY P&DC NC11371435 05/27/2023
DVD BLDG NJ P&DC NC11371439 05/27/2023
OAKLAND CA P&DC NC11371661 05/27/2023
RALEIGH NC P&DC NC11371445 05/27/2023
SEATTLE WA P&DC NC11371654 05/27/2023
MORGAN NY P&DC NC11371442 05/27/2023
PORTLAND OR P&DC NC11371664 05/27/2023
SAN JOSE CA P&DC NC11371658 05/27/2023
SAN JUAN PR P&DC NC11371880 05/27/2023
MARGARET SELLERS P&DC NC11371651 05/27/2023
​
Tractor Trailer Operator:
LANCASTER PA P&DC NC11371431 05/27/2023
NEW JERSEY NDC NC11358892 05/27/2023
NORTH READING P&DC NC11371432 05/27/2023
SPRINGFIELD NDC NC11371434 05/27/2023
MICHIGAN METROPLEX MI P&DC NC11371623 05/27/2023
SALT LAKE CITY UT P&DC NC11371617 05/27/2023
SAN FRANCISCO CA P&DC NC11371542 05/27/2023
CAROL STREAM IL P&DC NC11371705 05/27/2023
DENVER CO P&DC NC11371611 05/27/2023
KCMO MO P&DC NC11371703 05/27/2023
OAKLAND CA P&DC NC11371538 05/27/2023
SAN FRANCISCO NDC NC11371541 05/27/2023
SEATTLE WA P&DC NC11371547 05/27/2023
SEATTLE WA P&DC NC11371601 05/27/2023
TACOMA WA P&DC NC11371609 05/27/2023
DES MOINES IA P&DC NC11371702 05/27/2023
EVANSVILLE IN P&DC NC11371709 05/27/2023
DVD BLDG NJ P&DC NC11354736 05/27/2023
SYRACUSE NY P&DC NC11371433 05/27/2023
NORTHERN NJ P&DC NC11358893 05/27/2023
​
No experience necessary for the laborer custodial or maintenance mechanic positions. It helps on the interview but you can surely think of maintenance related experience to relay for an interview. Based on fixing things around your house, the car etc. Always mention working safely.
​
Pro tip: You can apply for any job that has an exam opening and the test is administered local to yourself. Make sure you're serious and score decently; you can turn down the job offer. Keep a physical copy of your exam score, I believe they are good for two years.
The reason is: These job postings can be posted externally at capacity for testing, meaning they will not allow you to take the exam if they have enough qualified applicants. However, if you have a test score on the books, you are a qualified applicant.
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Explanation of MVO/TTO to save time:
MVO= CDL B Can only drive box trucks on public roads, can drive anything for moves on postal property.
TTO= CDL A Can drive anything.
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USPS provides the training. (Maintenance jobs at least. TTO and management...GOOD LUCK)
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You don't have to be crazy to work here. We'll train you. Everything but proper email usage.

Race: Cre’taxsia Race characteristics: Digitigrade legs and Ram horns. By galactic standards their physical prowess are pretty top tier.
They come in 3 different skin color the pink skin, purple and the red skin.
Main governing body of the Cre’taxsians is the Cret Repblic
The Cret Republic is a “Republic” but it also has nobilities running it. It is inspired by the Roman Republic which also has nobles.
Most people think that Republicanism and Nobility are mutually incompatible but in actually not so as the Roman Republic existed for 500 years.
(Story start)—————————-
‘Well that wasn’t as bad a I had initially thought’ Franz thought as he himself is quite surprised that he managed to knock out 30 of them.
He didn’t think that just one touch is enough to knock them out for good, he expected them get back up after a while not nope they’re out cold.
‘Maybe electricity is their weak point’ he theorized
As he was sitting down three 2 meter high mechs came lumbering in front of the warehouse
‘Let’s try using their own weapons against them’ he thought as picks up one of the ray guns laying around, to his surprise the gun is actually quite light!
‘Hah! You know what why not try duel welding it if it’s this light’ he thought as he picks up another one.
After picking up another one up he aims and started shooting the lead mech.
BeamBeam
His shit hits but unfortunately it didn’t seems to have done much damage besides darkening the spot that got hit.
‘Hmm? Feels a bit weak… well to be fair if I were to shoot at a tank with small arms it probably wouldn’t be that much different’ he thought as he shot the lead mech again with his double ray gun
BeamBeam
‘Still feels weak, maybe it’s the lack of recoil’ Franz wonders as with a gun you can get an idea of much kinetic got sent to the other guy but with a ray gun there’s no kick back at all.
Like you know a gun is powerful if each time you fire it you feel like a being kicked by a donkey or the loud boom an artillery piece makes it fires.
With the alien ray gun you just doesn’t feel that powerful sensation, saying that he’s not going to stick his hand in front of the tube and shoot himself to test it out.
After a few potshots the mechs finally found Franz and started returning fire.
BeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeam BeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeam BeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeam
‘Oh my fucking god! They have laser machine guns!’ He thought as he ducks behind some cover.
Swisssh
After the laser barrage Franz peeks out from his cover to see that cover he’s in is almost half melted.
‘Wow I guess these lasers aren’t as weak as I had initially thought’ Franz thought as dash out of his half melted cover into a new one.
‘Seeing how they’re not firing I guess they must have a cool down’ Franz thought as he took advantage of this time to shoot at the lead mech
BeamBeam BeamBeam BeamBeam BeamBeam
More darks spots appears on the lead mech but it seems to have done very little, then the mech pointed their guns at started to glow again signaling that they’re about to fire.
‘Man these things are tough’ he thought as he ducks under the cover
BeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeam
But unlike the last time only one mech fired its barrage
After the first mech’s barrage the second then opens up its barrage
BeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeam
‘They’re taking turns firing!’ Franz cursed before dashing out of his cover, because if he had stayed there it’ll be only a matter of time before his cover gets completely burnt off.
BeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeamBeam
Fortunately their tracking speed is terrible as all of their shots missed.
‘Oh fuck this!’ Franz thought as he threw away the the alien ray guns, he then looks around to see if there’s anything to beat them, like maybe a large heavy equipment that could fall and crush them or a canister of explosives that’s conveniently place near them.
Unfortunately life is not a video game so they’re no such convenient plot device.
With nowhere to go Franz eventually just gave up running and instead turns towards the trio of mech, fixed bayonet and charged.
For a moment the mech seems confused as their movement suddenly stopped.
Was short but was god send as by the time they started moving again Franz was already crashing into the lead mech.
Franz skewered the lead mech before tackling it to the ground.
Thumb
Of course Franz didn’t stopped there like a mad god posed he continues to skewer the downed lead mech some more before turning his attention to one of the other mechs.
He kicks one of its leg
Brok
The leg broke causing the lumbering mech to lose balance and fell to the floor.
Franz took this chance to skewer the downed mech before finishing it by kicking its head off like a soccer ball.
‘ two down one more to go’
Franz finishes the last mech by throwing his bayoneted rifle at the mech’s chest.
The bayonet easily pierces the mech’s armor and the heavy impact caused it to fall on its back.
Even while the mech was on its back it still tries to point its machine laser at him, it was starting to glow faintly which indicates that it’s preparing to fire.
But before it could do that Franz pulls out his rifle that was imbedded into its chest and stabs the shoulder joint severing the power supply making the weapon in operable.
He gave it twist and the entire arm got severed
‘So these mechs are weak to melee’ Franz wondered as gave the mech’s torso one powerful kick sending it out of the warehouse. ———————————————————
Meanwhile in a conference room
“(Oh my goddess did you see that!)”
“(This is incredible!)”
“(By the goddess what the hell are we dealing here!)” A Cre’taxsian with a fancy coat turns to the scientists demanding an answer.
“(I…. I think we’re dealing powerful mech)” the scientists stutters as she’s not quite sure what they’re dealing with.
“(You don’t say! Where the hell would a bunch of ragtag terrorist scum get a powerful mech that can beat 30 elite enforcers and 3 Hasperax enforcer mech!?” The one with the fancy coat lashes out as she was the one the one that sent out the enforcers and the battle mech.
Truth be told she had expected it to be wayyyyyy overkill but clearly not as the live footage has shown.
‘Mother is not ganna be pleased’ She thought as her mother is a member of the Senate.
“(Maybe it’s the Zara’thusians? They’ve….)”
“(I think it’s the An’Carans…)”
The debate rages until she finally has had enough.
“(Enough! I just want to know how to deal with it!)”
….
For awhile there was silence until a new recruit fresh out of the academy raised her hand
“(Emmm maybe we can try talking to it?)”
A blood vine bulges on her forehead before she snaps at the stupid fool.
“(Great! Then you go out and talk with it!)”
With that the new recruit got forcibly dragged out and thrown in front of the warehouse to “talk” to the mech.
After the fresh academy graduate is gone from the room she sighs “(My goddess the academy’s standard has fallen)”
——————————————————
Back to Franz
Franz was expecting the 3rd wave to be something big but to his surprise what came in is weak looking devil alien.
Like she could barely walk as her feet wobbles around with each step.
“(Eeeem Ms Robot I came to negotiate)”
Naturally Franz has no idea what she has said.
‘What now? Is she trying to make me lower my guard? Is she an assassin or something?’ Franz ponders as he takes out his stun baton and walks closer to the shivering devil.
Seeing the club in his hand she wince
“(Eeep! Please Ms Robot I just want to talk)”
‘More alien ramblings’ Franz thought before stopping 2 meters away from her.
She rambled for quite a while but Franz still remained unmoving
At this point she started feeling confident so she tries to walks closer him.
At this point Franz raises his baton a bit and made it send an electrical discharge as a warning.
“(Eeep!)”
The devil wince and stopped moving forward, as it seems that the devils are very afraid of electricity.
‘That convoyed the meaning’ Franz thought as anyone can understand the threat of violence, classic caveman big stick diplomacy.
Then started babbling again in her alien tongue.
Franz not knowing what’s going on about stood silent as he paid careful attention to any sudden moments from her.
After awhile the devil started to approach him again.
Seeing the advancing demon Franz muttered “Stop!”
……. …. ..
For a while there was silence as the devil alien’s eyes went wide.
“(Did you hear that District Commander I made the robot talk! And it seems that the Robot is a male!)” the academy recruit cheerfully said over the coms.
Feeling a slight indignation at the fact she was proven wrong and in fact the stupid solution of talking to actual worked, she lashes out.
“(I don’t care what gender that machine identifies! What I want is for IT to disarm itself!)”
Meanwhile to Franz it just sounded like more incomprehensible alien ramblings.
—————————————————————
Back at the Conference Room
“(I must say the creators of that mech has good taste)” one of the engineers commented as the term male robots tickles a certain fetish inside her.
(To help readers understand imagining having 2B from Neir automata as wifu)
“(Now that I think about it, the mech has perfect body portions. Although the legs would suggest a non-Cre’taxsian origins but all in all the body proportions aren’t bad at all)”
“(Maybe the creators intended it to be a high class guard bot)”
“(Hmm I agree it certainly would explain the humanoid design instead of a more practical design)”
“(These degenerates!)” the District Commander could only cursed at how the conversation devolved into robot mating partners.
———————————————————
Back to Franz
The devil is still babbling something but this time she’s making hand gestures to her mouth.
‘She wants me to speak?’ Franz wondered as he’s very bewildered.
‘First they attacked me but now they want to talk? Shouldn’t they have tried to talk first before attacking?’ Franz is confused by the cart before horse logic. Like everyone knows that you place the cart after the horse not before it.
Franz thought about how to proceed next before eventually deciding to give negotiations a try, as he’s still trapped in a warehouse with hundreds of them outside.
With his mind made up he puts his baton back into its holder and took a more casual stance.
“Alright let’s talk, I am Security Specialist Franz…”
(Security Specialist is a fancier way to say Armed Guard, that’s how PMCs makes all that money. When customers hears Security Specialists they’ll think it’s some ex-CIA ex-Secret Service James Bond level guy but in all actuality it’s just a fit guy with a boom stick)
They tried to converse a bit before the devil women taking out what seems to be like their version of an iPad and started trying to converse with him.
‘Hmmm…. weird fashion sense they have’ Franz thought as their iPad looked like its something that’s chipped from a block of crystal.
The devil then shows him a picture of a bunch of devil aliens and muttered.
“(Cre’taxian)”
Franz just stood there silently as he doesn’t know what that word is supposed to mean.
The devil tried again but this time she points to each individuals in the picture and said “Cre’taxsian” each time before finally pointing to herself saying “Cre’taxsian”
With that Franz followed her and points to each individual in the picture saying “creet-tax-see-an” each time before pointing to himself and saying “human”
“(Did you see that! Mr Robot’s model seems to be called “Who-man”)”
“(Great keep doing what you’re doing, we need more samples of its language before we can rudimentary translations software for its language. We’ve already checked the data based several times from the previous sample but nothing came up)” the scientists responded
Then the devil woman repeated the process but this time with a different picture, this time it’s a planet.
“(Planet)”
She swipes to another picture of a planet and said the same word
“(Planet)”
This process repeated for awhile as they slowly build up a vocabulary base

Company Name	Title	City
RTI International	Field Interviewer - Add Health	Akron
SOFIE Co.	Cyclotron-Support Engineer I	Bedford
Sofie	Pharmacist in Charge (PIC)	Bedford
Sofie	Facility Cleaning Technician	Bedford
Sofie	Quality Control (QC) / Production Associate I (Chemist) I	Bedford
GVM Inc	Regional Sales Representative	Bellevue
Complete Diesel Component Service	Sales Rep Complete Diesel Service	Broadview Heights
Allied Moulded Products, Inc	Machine Design Engineer	Bryan
INSPYR Solutions	Commercial Security Service Technician	Canfield
INSPYR Solutions	Commercial Security Installation Technician	Canfield
Superior Dairy	Electrical/Mechanical Industrial Maintenance Technician	Canton
A-Line Staffing Solutions	Automation Technician - PLC Programming - Direct Hire	Cincinnati
A-Line Staffing Solutions	Medical Records and Health Information Technicians, Other	Circleville
MB Dynamics, Inc	Software Product Engineering and Development	Cleveland
U.s. Cotton	Mechanic-12 hour shifts-Day 7 to 7 and Night 7 to 7	Cleveland
DMAX, Ltd	Production Team Member	Dayton
Integrated Data Services, Inc.	AFLCMC - Business Analyst (Dayton, OH)	Dayton
Public Health Dayton & Montgomery	Office Assistant I/II WIC	Dayton
Public Health Dayton & Montgomery	Breastfeeding Peer Helper I/II WIC	Dayton
Sinclair Community College	Pathway Manager (Grant Funded)	Dayton
DCS Corp	Systems Architecture SME B-21	Dayton
Belle Tire	Tire Technician - Automotive	Defiance
EMCOR Group	2nd Shift Facility Maintenance Technician	East Liberty
Eclaro	Chemical Lab Technician	Elyria
BWX Technologies	Final & Floor Inspector	Euclid

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in oh. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

warning: its a long one!
Began check in as soon as we landed @ 9:30am and had a LMM room, 15-20m later recieved confirmation the room was ready and got upgraded to a Cars Suite. So when we got to the hotel we went straight to the room. Bypassed check in. Took an uber xl, ride (10:02 - 10:23) was quick and efficient, a silent trip.
After unpacking we went to the in resort restaurant Landscape of Flavors. We had chicken strips (3/5 decent nothing special), impossible burger (3.5/5), sesame chicken (3/5), and tandoori chicken (4/5). Lunch was easy and simple.[$68~]
We traveled via Bus (20m wait) directly to Disney Springs to purchase Memory Maker at the Guest Service building [Military Discount, $98+ tax, otherwise we would have gotten it at package purchase] we perused World of Disney, Uniqlo, and Volcolm. We stopped at Marketplace Snack and had the Minnie Sweet Strawberry Sundae [$9~] that 3 of us shared. We made our way back with Disney Transportation again (10m wait).
When we got back we took a small rest to put away our Amazon Fresh order I sent to the resort, before heading to the pool. We swam for about 2 hours before getting ready for dinner. We took the skyliner to Disney Boardwalk Resort where we ate at Big River Grille and Brewing Works [$89~]. Our first choice was Tratoria al Forno, but the wait was 45m and we didnt want to be out all night. We had the Cajun Pasta (4.8/5), Chicken (3/5)/Beef (2.5/5) Brew Nachos, and the kids Macaroni and Cheese Meal (👍). We visited the general store and then rode the skyliner back to the resort. We were delayed for about 5 minutes randomly. Day 1 complete! 16k Steps.
Day 2 MK (Touring Plan 2 Crowd Level)
Woke up around 6:15am and we were ready and out the door by 6:45. We walked for a few minutes to the bus stop and were 2nd in line for the bus. I secured 7DMT and Jungle Cruise with Genie Plus [$22/pp] at 7:00am. We boarded around 7:20am. We arrived at the entry way and went through security, finally entering the park at 8:00am. We walked down Main Street and took a few photos with the castle and headed over to the fantasy land rope drop area. We waited less than 15m before early entry and then immediately went to the bathroom! (Kids!! lol) we walked on to the teacups, followed by a walk on to the Barnstormer (twice in a row), and then another walk on at Dumbo before 9am. We walked over to Haunted Mansion where it had a 20 posted wait time, but we only had to wait in line long enough to walk through the queue. We redeemed our ILL at 7DMT. We same wait as before, just as long as it took to get through the queue. We took a quick break for Breakfast at Sleepy Hallow. We mobile ordered the Funnel cake with strawberries and whipped cream (4.5/5), and the Fruit & Nutella Waffle (4.5/5). [$18~]
Next we went used G+ for Jungle Cruise. Standby was 45m, we walked on to the boat immediately after scanning our magic bands. After redeeming that I got another G+ for Pirates of the Carribean 15m later. We stopped for about 15 minutes to enjoy some ice cream at Sunshine Tree Terrace. Pretty standard fare, I really loved the Citrus Swirl. Would recommend [$18~]. We scanned into Pirates and I got a G+ for the festival of fantasy parade that was happening at 12. This was an ill used Lightning Lane for our crowd level. We got a spot by on the balcony at the Main Street train station. We waited for 30m for the parade, but honestly we could have waited for 10m for the spot we got.
As soon as the parade passed us we got on the monorail to the Contemporary Resort for our lunch ADR at Steakhouse 71 at 1:15pm. Wait was minimal, and the atmosphere was very swanky, but not off putting. We enjoyed the Stackburger (4.5 & 4.7/5), the Steak Frites (4.5/5), and the kids Grilled Chicken ("very juicy" 👍) [$96~]. We took a lyft ($17~) back to our resort and took a rest at 3:00pm.
We planned to go back to Magic Kingdom around 6pm, as I had stacked some Lightning Lanes, but the rain, sore knees, and hungry bellies decided for us to just enjoy some pizza and breadsticks (3.5/5)[$19~] and movies in the room for the rest of the day. We turned in around 9pm to get another early start for tomorrow at Hollywood Studios. Day 2 complete 13k Steps.
Day 3 DHS/MK (Touring Plans 3/3 Crowd Level)
Got in line for the skyliner around 6:45am and made it to DHS easily. Rope Dropped Mickey & Minnies Runaway Railway and we were on one of the first cars. It was very cute, we loved the dance studio scene. We made our way through Toy Story land and walked on Toy Story Mania. We went on to Galaxy's Edge for Rise of the Resistance, Smugglers Run, and Breakfast.
At 7am I secured a ILL for ROR @ 9:15 ($22/pp). We checked in a few minutes early and it was great! The Honda Onakka animatronic was not working, and only some of Kylo were working, but the ride was awesome, I felt really immersed.
We rode Millennium Falcon Smugglers Run (G+ 9:30) and it was also really good! I was worried I'd get motion sick, but i did okay, even with a 6 year old pilot (🫠). I booked a LL for Slinky Dog Dash for 6pm, I ended up canceling it later because we were pretty much done at the park by then. (Yes, I tried modifying to an earlier time, but no such luck). We had breakfast Ronto Wraps, and were impressed! (4.5/5)
We moved on to Frozen Sing-a-long which was very funny and a nice break from the heat. Then we got a Strawberry Funnel Cake from Epic Eats (4.5/5) before waiting a few minutes to see Chip and Dale. We walked around Galaxy's Edge again just shopping for merch before leaving the park around 12:30. We took a swim for about an hour, then a snack break and a nap, before heading out to Magic Kingdom for fireworks we had missed the night before.
This evening was a whirlwind of stacked lightning lanes and being herded like cattle. We ate dinner at Pecos Bill. Pork Carnitas Nachos (2.5/5), Beef Tacos (2.5/5). We caught the Friendship Faire Cavalcade as we left, very cool to see newer characters.
We rode Under the Sea, met Ariel, met Mickey, and got assorted snacks before the fireworks. We got a spot about halfway down Main Street and OMG! Happily Ever After is so good! The castle projections were beautiful but the building projections on Main Street were MAGICAL. The song selection was awesome and I teared up a few times. Even my husband was impressed, and he generally doesn't care for fireworks shows. We were sardines from our spot to the hub grass and scooted onto Tommorowland for Buzz Lightyear. Then to Fantasyland for Peter Pans Flight. We had a LL for Big Thunder Mountain, but we saw lightning in the clouds and decided it was time to go back to the hotel. Luckily we made it on yo the bus right away and were back at the resort by 10:40. We got some burgers and chicken strips to devour back in the room and went to bed around 11:30. Day 3 Complete! 20k Steps.
Dat 4 Rest Day...Kind of. AK (Touring Plans 4 Crowd Level)
We slept in until 8am! Mostly just lounged around until 9am, so we could get ready for our breakfast at Topolinos Terrace at 10:30am. We checked in about 15m early, but our table wasn't ready until 10:50. We had the Quiche Gruyère (5/5), 2 Eggs (3.5/5), and Kids Fruit & Yogurt (👍). The pastry bucket was very good, the croissants were perfect.
We met all the characters and it was good. Honestly a little underwhelming. We were there 1 hour and the characters only came to our table once. Idk if thats a common thing, but it was still alright.
Next we took a short rest before meeting a cast member friend of ours at Animal Kingdom at 2pm. We did Kilamanjaro Safari, Festival of the Lion King, Expedition Everest, Gorilla Trail, Its tough to be a bug, and had lunch at Flame Tree BBQ (3/5). We did some light shopping before leaving around 6:30pm. We snagged a pizza from Landscape of Flavors and turned in semi-early. I booked a last minute Boma breakfast for tomorrow morning. Day 4 Complete! 17k Steps
Day 5 AK/MK (Touring Plans 3/1 Crowd Level) Mother's Day
We started the day off eating at Animal Kingdom Lodge at Boma. We liked the breakfast selection, and I ordered a mimosa (duh, it's mother's day!). The food was good but nothing amazing, a solid 3.5/5. We went to Animal Kingdom after that to relax and we visited Rafikis Planet Watch. There we walked around, pet the animals, and sketched Todd, from "The Fox and the Hound". We stopped for a few cold treats, before heading back to the hotel room to swim and relax before meeting back up with my dad (who left for Tampa Friday afternoon). We ate at 'Ohana, and felt overstuffed. If only we knew we could take leftovers back home with us. The meal was good, but not mind blowing like everyone says IMO. 4/5. Since we were at the Polynesian we took the monorail into MK to watch the fireworks. Honestly, I don't even remember what we did between 6pm to 9pm, but it was a relaxing time just people watching until the Fireworks. Watched it again just to take Dad with us. We booked it to the. busses and got on right away and went straight to bed right around 10pm. Day 5 complete. 12k Steps!
Day 6 Epcot (Touring Plans 4 Crowd Level)
We got up and got on the skyliner for early entry. As soon as they let us in, we rushed over to Remys, it was very cute, didn't feel motion sickness. We walked through the pavilions and took plenty of pictures in an empty park. We got in line to meet Anna and Elsa, Rode Frozen then we went back to France for breakfast at Les Halles. 5/5.
We walked back and forth around World Celebration and did Turtle Talk, Soarin, Test Track, and Guardians. I was nervous about GOTG because I'm not a big rollercoaster person, but it was super fun, and I didn't experience any motion sickness. We ate around World Showcase F&G booths and then left for the day around 6pm. My party was pooped. We went back to the room and passed out. Some of us ate leftovers and some of us just slept through the night. Day 6 complete. 22k Steps!!
Day 7, Last Park Day MK/ DHS/ Epcot (Touring Plans 3/4/2 Crowd Level)
We were going to try for a 4 park challenge but AK got us! Why do they have to close so early?
Breakfast ADR in Cinderella Castle was very cute, and very expensive, but this was our first time and we wanted to splurge on the big once in a lifetime stuff. The food was good but not great. 3.5/5. The princesses came around once each since it was very busy. But they stayed as long as it took to speak with the group and take a few pictures. I won't be doing it again, just because its so expensive. We wanted to hit all of our favorites so we got a ILL for 7DMT, and a G+ BTMRR, so we rode those, met Tiana and Rapunzel and headed over to DHS for 2pm park hopping. We got a LL for SDD & MF:SR before eating a quick lunch at Woody's Lunch box. 3.5/5. We made the decision to eat instead of rushing to Animal Kingdom then back to Epcot. So we took the boat from DHS to Epcot. We had about 45m to kill so we rode Living with the land, Nemo, and chilled out in the aquarium. We made our way over to GOTG (ILL) and then decided we had enough. It was 6:30pm and we had missed our chance to hop to AK. We rode the skyliner back to AOA and promptly passed out. I was thinking back on our day and should have scheduled GOTG later then we could have made AK, but traveling all day with no rest with a 6 year old and a 60 year old was not an ideal situation.
We all woke up around 9pm and got some burgers from LoF at the resort watched 1/2 a movie then went to bed peacefully knowing we had no alarms, rope drops, Lightning Lanes, or Virtual Queues to join at the butt crack of dawn.
Day 7 Complete. 21k Steps!
Day 8, Departure Day We woke up at a leisurely 9am to get our room emptied out, and packed up. Around 10am we left and set aside things we didnt need. I joined a Facebook "Disney Pass It On" site where you can post the stuff you're leaving (Ponchos, Stroller, Balloon, Water, etc...) and some other family can pick it up and maybe pass it on to a different family when they leave. We dropped the rest of our bags off with Bell Services.
Rode the bus to Magic Kingdom, then the monorail to the poly. We had lots of time to leisure so we shopped a bit before we had breakfast at Ohana, oh man, this is the meal to go to! Simply made delicious breakfast staples, plus All you can eat, PLUS characters! 5/5 for me. :)
We took the bus from the Poly to Disney Springs to do more souvineer shopping, plus to say goodbye to our Cast Member friend who works at Disney Springs.
We wanted to go swimming but just to be on the safe side we left early for the airport. TSA was super quick and easy. We had a mediocre lunch, don't even recall the name of the place, and boarded our plane.
The ride was bumpy because of some incoming rainy weather but we landed safely right on schedule.
8 days, 7 nights, 5 park days 134k~ Steps (25 mi /41 km)
I'm sure I left out a lot, but all in all we had a great first trip and me and my daughter are ready to go back ( Currently in the queue to book vacations for 2024).
I'm working on a post trip report on a google spreadsheet with all the costs and a timeline and when I get that done I'll share it as well.
Feel free to ask any questions.

https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-30-2023
“[O]ne of the things that I hear some of you guys saying is, ‘Why doesn’t Biden say what a good deal it is?’” President Joe Biden said to reporters yesterday afternoon before leaving the White House on the Marine One helicopter. “Why would Biden say what a good deal it is before the vote? You think that’s going to help me get it passed? No. That’s why you guys don’t bargain very well.”
Biden’s unusually revealing comment about the budget negotiations was actually a statement about his presidency. Unlike his Republican opponents, he has refused to try to win points by playing the media and instead has worked behind the scenes to govern, sometimes staying out of negotiations, sometimes being central to them.
The result has been, as Daily Beast columnist David Rothkopf summarized today, historic. Biden has worked to replace 40 years of supply-side economics with policies to rebuild the nation’s economy and infrastructure by supporting ordinary Americans. The American Rescue Plan gave the United States a faster economic recovery from the COVID pandemic than any other major economy. The Bipartisan Infrastructure Law has already funded more than 32,000 projects in more than 4,500 communities in all 50 states, Washington D.C., and U.S. territories.
The Inflation Reduction Act made the biggest investment in addressing climate change in our history, and according to University of Washington transportation analyst Jack Conness, it and the CHIPS and Science Act have already attracted over $220 billion in private investment, much of it going to Republican-dominated states: Tennessee, Nevada, North Carolina, and Oklahoma have each attracted more than $4 billion; Ohio, more than $6 billion; Arizona, more than $7 billion; South Carolina, more than $9 billion; and Georgia, more than $13 billion.
Victoria Guida in Politico yesterday reported that the reordering of the economy under Biden and the Democrats has reversed the widening income gap between wage workers and upper-income professionals that has been growing for the past 40 years. The pay of those making an average of $12.50 an hour grew by almost 6% from 2020 to 2022, even after inflation.
Those gains are now at risk as pandemic measures end and the Fed raises interest rates to bring down inflation, although the wage increases are only a piece of the inflation puzzle: Talmon Joseph Smith and Joe Rennison of the New York Times today reported that companies raising their prices to “protect…profits” are “adding to inflation.” In other words, companies pushed prices beyond normal profit margins during the pandemic and the economic recovery, then maintained those higher profit margins with the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and continue to maintain them now.
The fight over the debt ceiling is both an example of the different approaches to negotiation on the part of Biden and Republicans like House speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), and part of the larger question about the direction of the country.
On January 13, 2023, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen warned McCarthy that the Treasury was about to hit the borrowing limit established by Congress and that she would have to resort to extraordinary measures in order to meet obligations until Congress raised the debt ceiling.
On March 9, as part of the usual budget process, Biden produced a detailed budget, which was a wish list of programs that would continue to build the country from the bottom up. He told McCarthy he would meet with the speaker as soon as he produced his own budget, which McCarthy could not do because the far-right House Freedom Caucus (these days being abbreviated as HFC) wanted extreme cuts to which other Republicans would never agree.
On April 26 the House Republicans passed a bill that would require $4.8 trillion in cuts but was quite vague about how it would do so apart from getting rid of much of the legislation the Democrats had just passed. HFC members said they would not raise the debt ceiling until the Senate passed their bill. That is, they would drive the United States into default, crashing the U.S. and the global economy, until the president and the Democrats agreed to their policies. Even then, they would raise it only until next spring, with the expectation that it would then become a key factor in the 2024 election.
Biden insisted all along that he would not negotiate over the debt ceiling, which pays for money already appropriated under the normal process of Congress and which Congress raised three times under former president Trump even as he added $7.8 trillion to the national debt. Biden said he would happily negotiate over the budget. McCarthy, meanwhile, was out in front of the cameras and on social media insulting Biden and insisting that it was Biden’s fault that talks took so long to get started.
Late Saturday, the two sides announced an agreement “in principle” to raise the debt ceiling for two years—clearing the presidential election. As the Washington Post’s Catherine Rampell noted, it protects current spending on Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid; keeps tax rates as they are; increases spending on defense and veterans’ programs; leaves most other domestic spending the same; cuts a little from the expanded funding of the Internal Revenue Service; and tweaks both the permitting process for energy projects and the existing work requirements in the food assistance program.
As Rampell points out, “this much-ballyhooed ‘deal’ doesn’t seem terribly different from whatever budget agreement would have materialized anyway later this year, during the usual annual appropriations process, under divided government. To President Biden’s credit, the most objectionable ransoms that Republicans had been demanding are all gone.”
Now the measure has to get through both parties, with congressmembers back in Washington today after the holiday weekend. Freedom Caucus members are howling at the deal. Representative Chip Roy (R-TX) is threatening to bottle the measure up in the House Rules Committee, which decides what bills make it to the floor. The Freedom Caucus forced McCarthy to stack that committee with far-right extremists as part of his deal for the speakership (it has nine Republicans but only four Democrats on it). But Josh Marshall of Talking Points Memo suggests that McCarthy’s alliance with Representatives Jim Jordan (R-OH) and Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) might pay off here, since the two have thrown their weight behind the measure.
Even if the measure does pass before the June 5 deadline when the Treasury runs out of money, it has had an important effect. As Rampell noted, it has weakened the United States. It has enabled both China and Russia to portray the U.S. as unstable and an unreliable partner. As if to prove that criticism, Biden had to cancel a trip to Australia and Papua New Guinea, where he was strengthening the Indo-Pacific alliances designed to weaken Chinese dominance of the region. (And Russia continues to involve itself in U.S. politics: today Tara Reade, the woman who in 2020 accused Biden of sexually assaulting her, appeared on Russian television next to alleged spy Maria Butina to say she has fled to Russia out of fear for her life in the U.S.)
Writing in Foreign Policy, Howard W. French sees a more sweeping problem with the debt ceiling fight: it “highlights America’s warped priorities.” “[W]hen a rich and powerful country finds it easier to cut back on the way that it invests in its people, in education, in science, and in making sure that the weakest among them are not completely left behind than to curtail useless and profligate weapons spending,” he said, “there are reasons to worry about the foundations of its power.”
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Notes:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/speeches-remarks/2023/05/29/remarks-by-president-biden-before-marine-one-departure-37/
https://twitter.com/djrothkopf/status/1663546412334972932
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2023/05/12/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-kicks-off-infrastructure-week-by-highlighting-tremendous-progress-rebuilding-americas-infrastructure-18-months-in/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/build/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/omb/briefing-room/2023/03/09/fact-sheet-the-presidents-budget-for-fiscal-year-2024/
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2023/04/house-republicans-debt-ceiling-clean-energy-ira-irs-joe-biden/
https://www.jackconness.com/ira-chips-investments
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/05/29/low-income-wages-employment-00097135
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/30/business/economy/inflation-companies-profits-higher-prices.html
https://twitter.com/IsabellaMWebestatus/1630322499362897920
https://home.treasury.gov/news/press-releases/jy1188
https://home.treasury.gov/news/press-releases/jy1454
https://rollcall.com/2023/04/26/house-passes-1-5-trillion-debt-limit-increase-spending-cuts/
https://thehill.com/homenews/house/4024123-spending-and-debt-ceiling-plan-whats-next/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/05/28/debt-limit-deal-budget-differences/
https://www.politico.com/news/2023/05/30/debt-ceiling-deal-house-rules-committee-republicans-00099245
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/freak-cavalcade-but-not-more
​​https://www.thedailybeast.com/joe-biden-accuser-tara-reade-claims-she-defected-to-russia-after-sexual-assault-allegations
https://foreignpolicy.com/2023/05/30/debt-ceiling-deal-details-food-stamps-military-defense-spending/