Dear fellow INFPs,
I'm addressing this to people who feel like they're stuck mentally. Whether you started out with getting help or not, I hope this piece gives you insight in what to do, but especially.. in what order. Looking on the internet there are 1001 ways of therapy, all kinds of guru's who tell you this is THE way! The ONLY way! I mean sure, much of it comes down to the same thing over and over again, but I'm convinced that some things are better before other. Take this account from someone who has been through it, who has tried 101 things, picked the useful ones, who got stuck multiple times, but ultimately can tell you my best experiences. But who am I, except for just another random dude on the intenet?
Where to even start. I've been thinking of writing this piece for a long time but always found reasons to postpone. Ironically. I've been insecure, depressed and suffering from general anxiety disorder for most my life, at least until some time ago. After I tasted the first moments of happiness I made it my mission to keep moving forward, every day possibly better than yesterday. Nine years, a lot of therapy and many hours of psychology self-study later, I want to share with you what I've learned in a condenced form. I'll start off with a little background information. Then I'll follow up with a listed summary followed by why I think doing it in that order is important. Lastly, I'll list a bunch of my sources that helped tremendously. I don't want to make this a feel-sorry story about me so I'll keep it short just for context. If you believe me for my word you can skip one paragraph.
I come from a family with an ISTJ dad and ISFJ mom, both horribly emotionally immature, unavailable, unpredictable and very suspicious of other people. They love me and my brother but were the worst in showing it. My dad hardly talked and stopped playing with us after a motor cycle accident. My mom was burned out most of the time and ready to explode. Now, what kind of things would that teach your kids? They had their own terrible experiences and upbringing, into which I won't go. Not to mention I was born 10 weeks early, lay alone in a machine much time with cordasol basically already coursing through my veins. All in all, me (the quiet good boy) and my brother (the ADHD ESTJ rebel) had completely different lives. He went all out in the rebel behaviour with his gang, vandalism and drugs, whereas I found out about Maplestory and built up an alternate life there, eventually also with drugs. (Real) friends, what are those? Getting beat up twice as freshman, who cares. The Fight/Flight/Freeze response was strong and consistent already at 15 y/o. I didn't know it at the time but the result was a near-permanent pressure on the Solar Plexus, always being tired and having burst of sweat when I came in social situations. The sweat didn't particulatly make it better. You want to try that new thing? Ah better not, you hurt yourself once as a kid so now everything is too dangerous.
The result is what you may expect. A very quiet, badly nail biting, skitterish mommy-child ' adult' who bursts into tears on random moments when alone, never knowing exactly what causes the pain. My first steps in self improvement happened by accident when I went off for further education in the capital. One roommate of mine studied psychology and he introduced me to a mindfulness training.
This is where it starts.
But now? What good is my story without a testimony? Now I'm finally starting a career, regardless of some obstacles. I don't nail bite anymore and handle stress way more easily. I was the star waiter of our restaurant and I'm having my first stand up comedy gig next week as well as acting school. Right now I work as the "very likeable" office manager at a sustainability company. Not everything is perfect, e.g. attachment to a partner and my ability in decision making, but it's all a process. Step by step. You'll get there, but take the goddamn steps.
(Step one and two are not processes but rather state of mind from which to work on. Let it sink in but don't get stuck on it.)
Step one: Acceptance of your own imperfection. It's okay.
This step sounds obvious but I don't think it is in practice. Too many people I've talked to are ready to talk about the bad things that happen in their life but as soon as you start about their OWN role in the situation, they will get all defensive and maybe even antagonized. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has bad experiences that colour their judgement of things and the way they act. Only if you accept this and what you have done in the past as fact, only then you are open minded enough to change. Otherwise, whatever you'll learn what could've helped you, you'll dismiss from your mind as soon as you leave the therapist, either from stubbornness or as a unconscious selfdefence reflex because you don't accept that yes, also you have weaknesses. This counts especially for people whose insecurity is being percieved as weak, dumb or unlikable. You see, if your insecurity is that you're not good enough, then how painful is it to accept that yes, you have inherent flaws? LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE? That's what keeps people from learning. That's what's keeping people from changing. Accept that you're not perfect and have things to change. Why else are you looking for help? It's like an addiction where you don't like the addiction but the alternative seems worse.
Lastly, know that your perception of others is probably not true. Only you know you because you know your thoughts. You don't see the mind of other people. If only you knew. Other people may seem saint-like but they aren't. Even the nicest people have some dark(er) characteristics and their own insecurities. Once you recognize this you may not feel so crazy anymore. Guess what, the battle between your little devil and angel is a human thing. The difference, though, is that you're open to change. The difference is that you are not in denial or oblivious of your mistakes like your aunt Hilda.
Step two: Accept your own agency and so reject victimhood.
Let me introduce you to my ex-roommate Petrus (pseudonym), who always talked about his troubles in life and how life failed him. The thing is, he'd always go on and on about how it was the effing police who fired him, how it was the effing insurance company who effed him over, how it is the effing women who are all whores and bitches anyway so why bother. His near-exact words. Never him, though! Oh no, that would receive a "yea sure.... but..!" with a scowl. While deep down all this talk is fueled by deep rooted insecurities and pain. You think you're not like that, and you're probably right. At least not to the same degree as he. Be ready to take responsibility for your own (re)actions.
I understand that doing step one and two are actually quite hard. I just mean to point out that as long as you are aware of them, you can change. You'll find out along the way in what ways your own behaviour has shaped your life so far, and what you can do in turn to change it. Life is like a beach, it is up to you to make your sand castle with upcoming waves and running kids. Like everybody else. The roommate mentioned above never accepted his agency and so did NOT have any results from the same therapist that I had. And whom he quit after one session. Scary, I know.
I cannot stress enough that self-reflection is key for anyone who's willing to change !!!
Step three: What do I feel and why?
Or in other words: the popular phenomena called Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. What it boils down to is the focus on self-awareness, to get a good insight into your own emotions and how it subconsciously affects your daily life. Before you quit reading: this is only the start. It is the difference between your mask and your underlying feeling. For instance, I would have the emotional 'mask' of being the joker and pleaser, only because WITHOUT doing that, I'd feel... well, uncomfortable. Now this uncomfortable feeling is important to figure out. For me I could summarize it with "I am not enough" and "I am not likeable". God it sounds so simple in a few sentences but this is a process of trying and trialing, where you'll think it was one thing, but it was something deeper, or they could all be summarized in one overarching insecurity. Finding out your mask personas is an important but scary step. Without your mask you'll feel remarkably vulnerable.
Now, I do not know where you are or if something similar is near to you. However, a good therapist will help you decipher your insecurities and underlying sadness. Understanding what you feel and why is step 3. You will NOT get here just through talking about your day unless the other specialist knows what they're doing, for the simple reason that many people are unaware of many of their reactions in daily life and what childhood trauma's they may have surpressed. Otherwise you'll just repeat the lines you tell yourself without going deeper. Such therapists should have their license revoked ffs.
Step three 'n half: grounding a.k.a. to get into contact with your feelings
There's much to be found online about grounding so by all means find other technique if mine doesn't work for you. I'd suggest you first try the most common way. Don't, the more you do it the faster you can do this. It takes me 20 seconds tops. Anyway: sit up on a chair without distractions nearby, eyes closed, hands on lap, feet on the ground. Take a couple of deep breaths. 4 seconds in, hold 4 seconds, 4 seconds out. Blow out like you blow out a candle. While you do this you repeat to yourself ' relax' or 'calm' or 'it's okay, you're safe' or whichever works for you.Then, take all your attention to your left foot. Feel the contact with the ground. Feel any (dis)comfort, any pain, itch, whether its cold, warm. Observe it, don't analyze it. It's not wrong, it's not good. It's just.. there. After you're ready you go to the left calf. Same thing. Feel the cold, warmth, the pressure, an itch, anything. It's not wrong, it's not good. It's just.. there. It's you. Hold your attention before going to your left thigh. Keep this process throghout your body. In the end, after your face is calm. Forehead is smooth. Eyes are relaxed. Jaw is loose. Deep breath and turn your attention to what you're feeling. Where is it? In your head? In your stomach? For me it's the solar plexus but it differs. Feel the emotion. It's not wrong, it's not good. It's just.. there. Accept it. Name it.
Side note: you may get distracted often. This is fine. Don't get mad at yourself as this only works negatively. Accept it, see it happen like a cloud drifting by and return your attention.
Side note 2: Accepting the emotion is very important. I had issues with that but getting mad at yourself for feeling something will only make things worse and is counter productive. Anyway why would you? Think of a friend. Can he feel lonely sometimes? Of course.
Congratulations, now you are what we call in contact with your feeling. This is DIFFERENT than the self-pitying saddness that's more common. THIS is the emotion that you can process. THIS is the emotion you can write down, cry out, talk about, whatever works for you. Also at the therapist. Especially at the therapist. It may feel redundant to do it with the little steps but believe me, if you're not used to grounding yourself then this is how to start. Sometimes it's harder than other, depending on your state-of-mind at the moment. Later you'll be used to it and 'go to your feeling' faster and more naturally than doing a detailed body scan. You're right if you think it's akin to meditation. Trust me. It's a human thing. You can do it too. Some people have put away their emotions deep down in order to protect themselves and for them it may be harder.
IMPORTANT: learning to ground may also mean you're nearer to your emotions. This is a good thing, as long as your work with them! Depending on the severity of your repressed traumas, it is highly advised to involve a therapist. You don't want to open up a well of misery only to do nothing with it. More on that in the next paragraph
Step four: Accept your past hurtful experiences. Process the associated emotions
This step is actually really important, and I wish I had done it way earlier. It would have saved me maybe three years. Okay so see it like this. Two things to remember. First: emotions that you experience but were unable to express will STAY in your body. Your body is like an emotional hard drive and somewhere there's tension building up. Second: this system you can compare to a hydrolic dam. Imagine: when there's a bit of water in the reservoir, there's no problem. When there's more water in the reservoir it's also okay, but the force on the dam builds up. Still more water all kind of okay, except that the dam is under a lot of pressure. A relatively small damage has to happen for cracks to appear and water to escape. This is exactly how it works with emotions. This is how people have sudden burts of rage, sudden burst of sadness, over relatively small incidents. They just... burst. This tension in addition with perfectionism are root causes for burn out as well. Just how much energy must it take? Anyway, as for the actual processing, I have a few tips.
The major one is a therapy called Somatic Experiencing. This is specialized in bringing up past emotions, even from when you were just a baby (I can tell..). All the stored up emotions will affect your daily life, likely without you noticing. It literally changes the way you react to things. E.g. how you react to some kinds of jokes, to how you may be very sensitive to situations, may feel angry or sad all the time, but also your attachment style in relationships. For me, processing all my fears and feelings of loneliness and betrayal on my innocense has given room for love, compassion, joy/playfulness and a general peace of body.
All in all, therapists are recommended.
Something else is a rage room. This is a place where people come together to literally scream and let emotions out. No experience there, just heard about it. I would think that the problem here is guidance. You can release stuff, but only things you are aware about. A good therapist can ask questions that will trigger things you can't do yourself. If you don't, you'll just scream from frustration which doesn't help much just like shower crying. Still, if you do it right I'm sure it may help.
NOTE: before going here, read the paragraph about grounding. This is an important asset without which you'll not get the results you want.
Step Five: self improvement. Learn by doing. Train your subconsciousness by experience.
It may feel like this step is late in the cycle, however it is not for nothing. To use the metaphor, Would it be easier to upgrade your dam into a hydraulic energy generating dam while the reservoir is still full, or while the water level is low? It is not to be underestimated how much internal conflicts will colour your perspective on yourself and the outside world. This is a major mistake I made, and what many therapists will still try.
Self-Improvement really means to use your self reflection to not just see what you do, but mainly what do you want to do with it? Let's say hypothetically you feel like you don't speak up enough. You've found out this is because of an underlying insecurity, in this case maybe that you feel unimportant because your parents never acknowledged any idea that you
I'd suggest journaling. Or rather, emotion analyzing and bring them up while writing. Ground yourself first. The goal is to FEEL the emotion and so process it without storing it up again. Cry about it if you need to. You know when children are sad, then cry a lot, then are running around happily again? Same with us adults. INFP or no. Except that we, with a little training, can actually name what we're feeling. Warning: this should only be really possible after some mindfulness. Firstly, because how else are you going to identify your own emotions? And secondly, you need to learn to 'ground' yourself, go into 'feeling mode'. Without it, it'll just be feeling sad because you feel sorry for yourself, instead of addressing the emotion itself. Wallowing in your sadness (this case: own victimhood) will only make things WORSE in an vicious cycle of negative affirmation. This happened to me. It's not pretty.
Look at yourself and the traits you want different. Maybe you want to be more orderly? Show love to people? Give a presentation without feeling like you're fainting? Write them down and what you would like instead. Don't push yourself by commiting to do everything. Just as much as you're comfortable with. Think of a dog for example. When a dog gets hit by a human he may just become aggressive or wimpering with his tail between his legs the next time he sees a human. Dogs are not aggressive or flightful from the start, but they learned that certain things are dangerous or scary. You teach an animal that something is not scary by slowly making it get used to the target. The same with humans, except that we're such complex creatures that sometimes it's hard to say exactly what makes you uncomfortable. This is literally what people mean with 'stepping outside your comfort zone'. It's not for nothing. It's not only for 'those bloody daredevils'. It's for a person to get used to situations. I had a fear in front of the class but I forced myself, after some proper therapy, to stand in front of a class to teach exams. Yes I was nervous. I had to calm myself several times, and I reflected on in afterwards. Well now, that actually went better than all the imaginative situations I had before! And even if it doesn't go well you can still write down WHAT you fked up and try to do better next time. Be mindful. Take steps.
Conclusion
It's a lot and I think I can add more but then it would be a book. I hope from this piece will bring structure to the whirlpool of information that's available. I'm not even sure 'regular' psychologists know this, as I've tried a bunch and they all start with something else. Every step is necessary, but some will work best only after the previous steps have been taken.
Now I'm tired. I'll write a proper summary after I see how this is recieved in the comments. Would love to hear feedback, questions, maybe even critique. Take care, you lovely soul.
Helpful sources:
Mindfulness training, meditation guides, Chakra healing (yes really)
Fysiotherapist on youtube to work on posture (you'll be surprised). I recommend Body Fix Exercises channel, to the point and effective.
Therapies: EMDR, Cognitive behavioural therapy, Somatic Experiencing
INFP guides on Personality Hacker
Attachment style podcasts (sorry mine was in Dutch)
Books / audiobooks
J. Peterson's 12 rules for life + many lectures on having a meaningful life. (whatever your stance or opinion on politics, his psychological knowledge is undeniable)
Lindsay C Gibson's Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
M. Gladwell's Talking to Strangers
Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now
I'd suggest audio book because it moves me more, however I guess it's personal.

As much as I would like to explain all the details and things that ever happened, It could be too long for anyone to read and care about, I'll try to mention every important detail. I'll explain myself the best I can, I'm looking for advice.
TL;DR I met my first girlfriend ever, had an almost perfect relationship for 7 months. I ruined everything by not drawing a limit with a female friend I had and falling for my carnal desires. I want to show her I am not the mistake I made. How should I try to rebuild this relationship?
I [24yo] met my first girlfriend ever [25 yo] (let's call her V) almost 9 months ago. Everything happened really spontaneously, wet met during our last year of practice at the hospital. She was one month away until V finished her internship, I just started mine in that moment. During those weeks, having barely time to get to know each other, we fell in love and it was amazing. Since the very beginning there was another girl in the same hospital, I didn't notice her until I met her around the same time I met my gf. I noticed my girlfriend and this woman met each other a couple of months ago, they were not friends, limited themselves to be civil and work together, didn't seem they liked each other. She started to get closer to me and we even became close friends, I just thought at that time that my girlfriend was being a little inmature and a little bit toxic the moment he told me to stay away from that woman, at that time I couldn't understand why.
Then, my gf finished her internship. I have the most beatiful memories with my girlfriend, being together during some night shifts, drinking coffee together and sharing small but beatiful moments, our love felt honest, wholesome, plentiful, peaceful and special. I remember going to visit her the time she was hospitalized, she guided me through all the stuff I had to do at the hospital, we were really comitted with each other. She has more experience than me, have had past relationships and she almost married at a time before me. During these months we had many incidents involving that woman in one or another way, we were surrounded by a very toxic enviroment at that hospital, one day my girlfriend called me crying during one of my 36 hours shifts, she was really sad, had been crying, she told me she couldn't deal with what was happening. I was shocked and didn't understand what was going on.
We agreed on seeing each other when the shift ended and my girlfriend, after two weeks, wanted to break up because some unknown phone number started to text her obnoxious things about me, obviously false at that time. They told her that there was proof of me cheating on her. Then she showed me, some horrible people sent her a noticeably false screenshot of my conversation with this other woman I talked about, calling her beauty, my love and stuff like that. I was really mad, since on my very first relationship, someone else was trying to ruin it and I had absolutely no idea of what was going on, I had no control of the situation. I explained to her, my gf even looked for her brother to show him the picture, he even said to her it was false and very noticeable to see the flaws. After a long talk, she was very sad, and we hug each other and we taken care of our relationship together, telling each other no one would make us part ways, that our love was real and it was. We had many incidents like that. At first I had no fault of what was going on, I felt really confident with my own actions and words, I was honest, tried to protect my girlfriend from the ones who were trying to harm us anonymously.
I really loved my girlfriend, I sincerely felt I could give my life for her, we had a beautiful relationship, shared many beautiful moments, intimacy was really wholesome too, it was almost perfect. After months, this woman who was still in the hospital became a really close friend of mine, I gave my trust to her, I even told her the problems my girlfriend and I had, about us being harrassed anonymously, she even told me she would help me find out.
I lived a lot of first time experiences with V, we weren't perfect but we were committed to each other, things were serious between us. I lived many first time experiences with V, I felt deeply loved and she was really happy with me, as she used to tell me: " I feel free to be myself when I'm next to you", "You are a great man, I am scared to feel so much for you, so fast, but I feel I really love you", our communication was great, but after what happened, I remember all of those words with pain and sorrow, I feel like absolute garbage.
After months of this amazing relationship, after being harrassed online a couple of times again, my girlfriend felt really unconfident and sad, our communication was not great and she was really distant, she confronted me and wanted to breakup when someone sent her a picture of this other girl and me and the picture was real, but it was really easy to get wrong ideas from it. In the picture it seemed like I was touching her face with my hand in a romantic way when the thing that really happened was that a gave her a whiplash with her own face mask, because we were playing like a couple of stupid kids. Months after that incident around february and march I was assigned to the same shift with this other girl because some other guy b*tched about the doctor in charge being too rude and they switched shifts with me being affected, I couldn't switch again. We spent even more time since we worked together, I noticed she started to place her legs on my lap when I was working on the pc and things like that, she started to feel very confident in a physical way when she was around me, this girl has a boyfriend and a 3 year old relationship with him, so I didn't really suspect anything, I saw the situation as "that's what close friends do", in the past I had maybe one or two female friends but really didn't had experience with these kind of non verbal expressions, I used to be the quiet kid, too quiet. I saw no problem with that since it didn't bother me, but I did thought from time to time my gf would be upset is she saw this other girl doing these things. I admit, during those months I started having intrusive thoughts that made me fall at the end. At that time, my girlfriend was very distant, in retrospective I've been an asshole, because the only thing my girl ever asked me to do for her I didn't do it, when it was so simple to tell that other person to stay away from me, at first I thought it was an inmature thing to cut my friendship with that woman just because my girlfriend didn't like her, I guess she noticed, she saw things I couldn't see for myself. If I just did what I should have to. It was my fault, I didn't prioritize my girl and the only things she's ever asked me to do for her, for the sake of "being mature".
During those last two months I started having intrusive thoughts and feeling distant from my girlfriend as she was really hurt when she saw that picture, we had a real bad argument one night, I told her that I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't do and that this picture I mentioned earlier was taken out of context, which it honestly was. I was honest with V. Because of that last argument between us she said she needed time to heal and to forgive me. A couple of weeks later, I convinced her to see each other, we cried, we hug each other, we promise each other to be always honest and loyal, and we stay as a couple, but she was distant. I felt really angry and helpless, because someone else was ruining my relationship from outside. My girl was really distant, and to be honest, I must mention this, since the very first moment I started my sexual life with V, since I lost my virginity with her, I didn't know sex was such a deal for me. Before I thought It was overrated, but I felt sad I wasn't having that kind of quality time with her, I discovered I missed a lot having making love with her. Since we started, due to our responsibilities and free time we could see each other maybe two or three times a week but we used to hang out, we made love maybe once per month and rarely twice, and it always has been like that.
I enjoyed every intimacy moment I could share with her, I didn't know sex was that amazing and mind blowing, not because the pleasure but the sentimental bond we strengthen every time and the fulfillment I felt by giving pleasure to her and she let me know she really enjoyed those moments because of how I expressed my feelings for her too. Imagine the quiet kid in class, who's never had a girlfriend in school and had barely interaction with any girl before, after he was in his last months of university, after 6 years (In my country that's the amount to time med career lasts), feeling that amount of attention, that bond with a girl who really likes you. For us it was not just a physical interaction but a moment to share our deepest thoughts without feeling anxious or scared, we used to tell each other how much we loved each other while making it, she used to tell me how old fashioned she thought I was, because all the things I used to tell her, she used to love when I told her every time we made love that If we are doing it is because we really love each other, and every word I said I really meant, I truly believed that.
I lost myself, I don't know who I am anymore, I betrayed her in march, after sharing many night shifts with that other woman. At that time, before the betrayal, I felt confused, I started feeling anxious, angry because my girlfriend didn't trust me like before and it wasn't my fault, I thought maybe she will cheat on me first, maybe she has something to hide because the interest that she has lost in our relationship. I felt I was receiving something I didn't deserve because of the actions other anonymous people around us.
I started developing intrusive thoughts for that other girl. One thing lead to another, it all started with a conversation, then we started talking about things we shouldn't be talking about, shared details about our sexual experiences. I thought of having sex with her, at that moment I was angry my gf was distant because of her trust issues with me, and me being inocent. (Don't misunderstand please, I will not.try to ezcuse myself here, i did what i did and it is my fault now). We shared too much time together during our shifts since we required teamwork between us. Attraction between us was really noticeable since she confessed she used to have feelings for me, but told me it was months ago, she started to be very touchy, and we were flirting basically, even we both knew we had relationships. I stopped thinking in a coherent way, I behaved like human trash, I desired sex so much after not having sex with my girlfriend after two months. One night, 4 a.m. maybe, this girl was watching some clothes on her phone, shows me and tell me if she would look nice and showed me the picture of a red off-shoulder neckline shirt. I made a joke, which I shouldn't have made since it was innapropiate. I told her, "there are a couple of things you are missing to put on that shirt" , which she replied, "would you like to judge for yourself?", she then proceeded to offer me to touch her chest, opening the neck of her blouse. I didn't think about my girlfriend at that moment. I was just drowned in adrenaline at that moment, thinking about the pleasure, the shape of her body and I touched her, she proceed to lay down and let me touch her almost completely, it happened twice, didn't to further than that.
After that, we had an argument with this other girl, but then we agreed on seeing each other outside the hospital, obviously to have sex. The day comes, my girlfriend wanted to hang out with me that same day, I was down to it because I felt she made me guilty for nothing for a long time, what a bs thought I had. We went to eat something with the other girl, then we were talking about getting some drinks, then to go play some videogames, we were blatantly avoiding the situation we planned for that night. I asked her, "why are we doing this?, I thought our plans had other intentions" and she looked at me, then told me: "You have a girlfriend, I have a boyfriend". I inmediately stepped my shoes on the ground when I saw those eyes of guilt., I started feeling guilty, I started feeling horrible. I almost had an episode of anxiety, real anxiety in that very moment. I experienced one real anxiety attack in my life and this almost became the second. All I could see on my mind was the beautiful eyes of my V in my mind and her voice telling me the thing she always used to tell me: "Please, just don't fail me", "is the only thing I would ever ask you to do". My whole world fell down, my heart still feels too heavy. We sat on a bench that evening. The other woman and I started talking about the things that happened between us, tried to tell me not to feel to guilty since it was mutual, it was her fault too, she told me she didn't want to harm me in that way, or me to make a mistake and harm my girlfriend in that way. She told me, "all men are the same, believe me but I understand this happened, you are a man", she told me that I was a good person, and it was a good sign that I was trying to stop all this madness before something else happens. She proceeded to calm me down because I was crying, all the thoughts I stood for, all the honesty, all those situations when my girlfriend doubted me became real. Then we told each other to keep this as a secret, she recommended, she begged me to to never tell my girlfriend about what happened, because she is unique and I will lose her if she ever find out, those were the words of this girl. Then we part ways. I never kissed her and never had sex with her.
After those days I just couldn't be the same with my girlfriend, who started to approach more, to heal from her doubts of me and to be closer to me again and I just ruined everything. I was broken inside, now I'm devastated. After march I was supposed to travel to another state, in a rural area, to keep going with my practices. My girlfriend gave me an amazing birthday before I traveled, my birthday was at the end of march. we hung out, ate something, kissed a lot, she gave me a surprise, gifted me a cute teddy bear, with a box of chocolates she baked, all of that inside a personalized box covered with printed photos of us together. Days later it was the last time I saw her in person, we stayed at a hotel, went out to dance and take a few drinks, I got sick because I'm not used to drink alcohol. We got back, got romantic, made love and in the middle of the moment I ran to the bathroom to throw up everything. She took care of me, we tried to have sex in the morning, said she wanted to make me go happy before I go and not see her for the next three months, proceed to give me a bj and handjob. We promised to travel together when I finish my internship and come back to the city. All of that happened maybe a week or two after my betrayal.
Since that even making love with my girlfriend wasn't the same, I used to focus on her, my deepest pleasure was not physical but to see her so vulnerable, so free around me, naked and happy. Her smile meant everything to me, it was her smile, her pleasure made me happy. I used to write her beautiful things, corny things but she loved them, always used to tell me I was like a wholesome old man, like an old poet, those kind who doesn't exist anymore. She used to believe I was different, she trust me.She did a lot of things for me, my self steem was taken care of, with love. She highten up my low self steem in every aspect I can imagine, she helped me heal from all those demons I had inside. She made me feel like a god fot her. I feel sorry for V, and I can't forgive myself for all the damage and pain I caused her, I'm broken inside.
With every day that passed I couldn't take that situation out of my mind. Every time she called me to see how I was doing abroad, I felt guilty, I felt wrong for even having sex that last time after the betrayal happened, I felt dirty, like mud around my beloved V. I just couldn't keep up with those beautiful things, stopped telling her how I felt, how much I loved her because I was feeling more and more guilty. I was alone, drowning with my own guilt and shame. One night she hung out with a couple of friends, drank a bit, she called me at 2 a.m. and told me: "I know I drank maybe a bit too much but listen to me because everything I'm about to say I really mean it. I really love you, I love you with all my soul, I want a life with you together, let's go far away together, let's support each other, we should study together, we could live together and build a life together" she told me to promise her to never fail her, never betray her, that she would always be with me even If I choose another professional life she would support me, she would love me with all of her soul, heart, body and mind.
If I was shattered, now I was completely broken. She then proceed to tell me, "Please, promise we will build a life together, just don't fail me and I will be there for you no matter what", then asked me, "have you accomplished what I asked you?, "when was the last time you talked to that girl?"
I was completely broken inside, broke in tears and couldn't hold myself together. V got angry when I first told her the last time I talked to the other girl was at the end of March, when she made me promise to cut all communications with her days before, she made me promise while we were making love. I did stop talking to the other woman but not completely, I excused myself by telling her I still talked with her but just when work intended to. My girl was dissapointed, hung the phone and didn't answer the phone after.
I broke in tears, Couldn't help myself but leaving a 3 hour audio message on her inbox explaining everything I did behind her back, explained with every single detail. I was so honest that after she listened to the audio she called the other girl and thank her for thinking about her and stop everything before it was too late, maybe I made myself too guilty when I explained everything to V, I didn't tell her all the times the other girl sat on my lap, put my hands on her hips and moved as if we were having sex, I didn't told her how she put my hands inside her bra when I was falling asleep and made me touch her intentionally, I received the blame for both of us I guess. Then V proceeded to write in my message inbox:
"You are dead for me"
Time after that, days. Her sister, which I talked to her a few times and she helped me once to speak to V when she was angry with me before. Her sister sent me a message, I tried to explain her, I cried during those days as I never did in my life, I wanted to kill myself, all the things I left in the past came back to me, I wanted to stab myself and I couldn't, I guess I always been to coward to kill myself. I wasn't eating nor sleeping, for the first time in my life I felt as if I killed someone. She said V almost sent me a couple of audio messages telling me she still loved me, but at the end she erased them. She had been crying since, her sister told me maybe she might give you an opportunity but speak to her.
Then I started to talk with V again, but it is obviously not the same, we talk as if we were barely acquantainces. I just asked her to see her just one more time to say goodbye in a proper manner, she didn't want to but she agreed, then she called me almost every weekend during one month and a half, insulting me and telling me how I could do that to her, she told me how could I be so blind to notice the person harrasing us was that girl and how could I be so stupid to make every suspicion she ever had true with my betrayal.
It has been really difficult for me, I think she is stronger than me. since I'm far from her, from my family too and the distance just made the situation worse, I wasted myself in tears and sorrow, I never felt so much pain until now in my life. One day, after we started talking again, she wrote: "I never stopped loving you, I really love you", she even gave me an opportunity, I was happy. Two days after she said she couldn't, she wanted to but she is too damaged. From that day she still calls me from time to time, telling me she won't give me another opportunity, telling me how she went out with x or Y guy and wants revenge but she just can't do anything because she still thinks about me, also tells me how she met a guy who seems to have more details and take about her but that she doesn't care about him. I think is humilliating hearing all those things she tells me about x or y who are trying to pretend her, Then she says she doesn't care about me anymore and that I am a nobody. When I call her she doesn't tend to answer, reads my messages after one or two days. I don't understand why she is doing this. If she hates me so much, why not leaving me outside of her life?
I made one of the worst mistakes in my life, I feel regret, anger, I feel like an instrument of pain, I hate myself for falling for this bulls**t. I know V suffered because of me more than one time, because of me not being a man and do what had to be done. I learned my lesson, I would never be such human trash again. All the suffering I caused, the lesson I learned, I lost my V, I feel broken, I never been so sad in my life. In 4 days I will go back to my city for three days, we agreed on seeing each other. I know the mistake I made is not part of me anymore, I will take time but those decisions I made, I know I can be better, I will be a better man from now on, I should have listened to her, I shouldn't have stepped on V's heart, on her feelings for me. I want an opportunity, I don't know if my heart is making me see something that is not there but maybe she could give me a chance? At least I accomplished, somehow, the promise to be sincere with her, always, no matter the cost.
I feel like absolute garbage, wish I could have taken my life like a coward.

My mother is recently widowed and is not as aware of different ways to make money work for her so I am trying to help. I am in need of recommendations as I am only 23 and have limited knowledge that could be gained through experience. Here is the rundown:
$1.99M from life insurance policies, different work payouts, and liability lawsuit
Several assets going through probate at the moment
More money coming in weekly from workers comp and social security than my mother makes at her job.
She has already put $675k in a 7 month CD at 5.1%. I am advising that she does not pay off what is gained after probate due to the interest rates on the loans being low. I am hoping she can invest in a low cost index fund to realize gains while paying off the loans at the same time. I have told her that with a portion of the weekly money she is receiving to create investment accounts for her two remaining children (13yo F and 9yo M) so they will have plenty to cover college in the future. She is wanting to buy a house for her mom to live closer to her to help with the children which I have advised against unless she is simply putting a deposit down between 3% and 5% to get her into the home. She is contemplating quitting her job as she is bringing in more than her paycheck does. I believe she should simply switch careers to something more fulfilling even if the pay is less because anything else being brought in would be icing on the cake. We have discussed possible passive income opportunities such as real estate and the creation of a wedding venue in our town.
What would you recommend would be the most intelligent way of making sure this large, yet small in the grand scheme of things, amount of money is maintained and grown as long as possible?

For sale, for Steam gift cards (or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
​

• Dark Souls™: Prepare To Die™ Edition (removed from Steam Store; $350 $400 or best offer)
• Fall Guys (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Dragon Hugger Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Icy Adventure Pack (removed from Steam Store)

​

• Humble Hunie Sakura Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Australia Fire Relief Bundle or similar))
• Humble Sekai Project Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Stand with Ukraine Bundle or similar))

​
For trade:
*tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
​

• *Eternal Threads
• *Turbo Golf Racing

​

• *Celeste

​

• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery
• Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition

​

• Bionic Commando: Rearmed
• Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen
• Lost Planet 3 - Complete
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®

​

• Aground
• Calico
• Evan's Remains
• Lake
• StarCrossed
• Teacup

​

• Into the Radius VR

​

• Aliens: Fireteam Elite
• Founders' Fortune
• Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp

​

• Nomad Survival
• Scarlet Tower

​

• The Citadel
• Forgive Me Father
• Viscerafest
• WRATH: Aeon of Ruin

​

• The Blackout Club

​

• BIOMUTANT
• Edge Of Eternity
• Golden Light

​

• Call of the Sea
• Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• The Amazing American Circus
• Armello
• Backbone
• Calico
• Cris Tales
• Euro Truck Simulator 2
• Farming Simulator 17
• Ghostrunner
• Gotham Knights
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine
• Orbital Racer
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pilgrims
• Soulblight
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Starfinder Core Rulebook (Paizo key) and Starfinder Adventure: Junker's Delight (Paizo key)
• Strange Brigade
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• System Shock 2
• System Shock: Enhanced Edition
• Ticket to Ride
• XCOM® 2
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack

​

• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fallout 76
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Othercide
• Shady Part of Me

​

• The Last Campfire

​

• Sakura Swim Club

​

• Summer in Mara
• Townscaper

​

• The Long Dark: Survival Edition

​

• Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands

​

• Conan Chop Chop
• Grow: Song of the Evertree

​

• Styx: Shards of Darkness

​

• Hard West
• John Wick Hex
• Phantom Doctrine
• Red Solstice 2: Survivors

​

• Arizona Sunshine

​

• Backbone
• Blade Assault
• First Class Trouble
• Super Magbot

​

• Golf Gang
• Maid of Sker

​

• Vampire: The Masquerade - Coteries of New York
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest

​

• Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl

​

• Baldur's Gate: Faces of Good and Evil
• Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear
• Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition

​

• Crown Trick

​

• Guts and Glory
• Hello Neighbor

​

• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• Grim Fandango Remastered
• Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS®: Knights of the Old Republic™ II

​

• Duke Nukem Forever
• PGA TOUR 2K21
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds

​

• Emily is Away <3
• In Sound Mind

​

• Little Big Workshop
• Not Tonight

​

• Brigador Deluxe Edition
• Verdun

​

• Resident Evil 0
• Resident Evil 6
• Resident Evil
• Resident Evil Revelations

​

• EVERSPACE™

​

• Dreamfall Chapters

​

• Cultist Simulator
• GWENT: The Witcher Card Game - Ultimate Starter Pack (GOG key)

​

• The LEGO® NINJAGO® Movie Video Game

​

• 2064: Read Only Memories

​

• Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense

​

• STAR WARS™: Squadrons (Origin key)(?)

​

• Bionic Commando
• Street Fighter V

​

• As Far As The Eye
• Impulsion

​

• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Complete Pack

​

• Bartlow's Dread Machine

​

• Blaston

​

• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School

​

• The Walking Dead

​

• Total Tank Simulator

​

• Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded

​

• XCOM® 2

​

• Black The Fall
• Goetia

​

• Highway Blossoms

​

• Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

​

• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• This War of Mine

​

• Tom Clancy's The Division™ (Uplay key)
• Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival (Uplay key)

​

• Highway Blossoms
• HunieCam Studio
• KARAKARA
• Sunrider Academy
• Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition

​

• Civilization VI - Australia Civilization & Scenario Pack
• Civilization VI - Vikings Scenario Pack

​

• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met

​

• Hacknet
• Satellite Reign

​

• The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut

​

• The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls
• ESO Vanity Pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 Days of ESO Plus

​

• Ame no Marginal -Rain Marginal-
• KARAKARA
• Memory's Dogma CODE:01
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project - Season Pass

​

• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met
• Sakura Angels
• Beach Bounce
• Beach Bounce - Soundtrack
• Blue Rose

​

• Lionessy Story
• My Personal Angel
• Natural - Beyond Nature -
• Postmen Of Horizon (removed from Steam Store)

​

• The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 — Prelude

​

• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards]
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire

​

• Guns of Icarus Alliance
• Guns of Icarus Online
• Impossible Creatures Steam Edition
• Lethal League
• Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
• Tempest - Treasure Lands
• Tempest - Original Soundtrack
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

​

• For The King
• Book of Demons
• PlateUp!
• Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
• Steel Rats™
• Hue
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (Epic key)
• Gal*Gun: Double Peace
• The Invisible Hours
• Synergia
• ROCKETRON
• Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
• Dead Age
• Dusk Diver 酉閃町
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Slain: Back from Hell(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious!
• Tower of Time
• Danger Scavenger
• Survive the Nights
• The Beast Inside
• Valfaris
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• This War of Mine
• My Time At Portia

​

• Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• Book of Demons
• Broken Age
• Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
• Crying Suns
• Crying Suns
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• Liberated (GOG key)
• Moon Hunters
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Rustler (Grand Theft Horse)
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG key)
• WARSAW
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC (I believe this redeems as the linked Complete Pack, minus the soundtrack)
• ΔV: Rings of Saturn(?)

​

• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Phoenix Point: Year One Edition
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Morkredd
• Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Survivalist: Invisible Strain
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• ENDLESS™ Space 2
• Surviving the Aftermath
• The Long Dark

​

• Blade Assault
• Founders' Fortune
• Hokko Life
• Monster Crown
• Fallout 76
• Othercide
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
• ScourgeBringer
• Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sonic CD (removed from Steam Store)
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 1-4
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 5-7
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
• Bionic Commando
• Full Metal Furies
• Ultra Street Fighter® IV
• Starbound
• Mafia III: Sign of the Times
• Outlast 2
• BioShock 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Daughter
• The Mean Greens - Plastic Warfare
• Crusaders of the Lost Idols Legendary Starter Pack
• Project CARS (removed from Steam Store)

​
WANT:
​

• 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
• A Hat in Time
• Avernum: Escape from the Pit
• Bendy and the Ink Machine
• CrossCode
• Dead Rising 4
• Dungreed
• Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition
• NBA 2K Playgrounds 2
• NECROPOLIS: BRUTAL EDITION
• Omensight: Definitive Edition
• Submerged
• Tower Unite
• Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap
• Zombie Army 4: Dead War

​
IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/

The Big List Disney codes are split & do not include the GP portion, but the DMI points are included. All Sony titles include points as long as the title is eligible. Please only redeem the portion of a code you are paying for. Prices are firm for now. I accept Cashapp, Venmo, Zelle, Fb pay & PayPal F&F. Comment & pm if interested. Thanks!

🦝

MISC

Bram Stoker's Dracula + Mary Shelly's Frankenstein double feature HD $6 (MA)
Will Ferrell 3-Film Collection SD [Talladega Nights, The Other Guys & Step Brothers] $3 (MA)

🦝

$5 4K UHD
House With A Clock In It's Walls, The (MA)
Mortal Kombat [2021] (MA)
Sonic The Hedgehog (Vudu or iTunes)
Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent, The (Vudu or iTunes)
🦝

$4 4K UHD

Alien [1979] (iTunes/ports)
Allied [2016] (Vudu)
Ant Man & The Wasp (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Beauty & The Beast [1991] (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Captain America: Civil War (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Despicable Me [2010] (iTunes/ports)
Guardians Of The Galaxy (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Halloween [2018] (MA)
Hell Or High Water (Vudu)
Scream [2022] (iTunes)
Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (iTunes)
Spiral: From The Book Of Saw (Vudu or iTunes)
Sting, The [1973] (iTunes/ports)
Terminator: Dark Fate (Vudu)
Top Gun (iTunes)
Toy Story (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
🦝

$5 HD

Dentist 1 & 2, The (Vudu)
Elysium & District 9 bundle (MA)
Inside Llewyn Davis (MA)
Jerry & Marge Go Large (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Rescuers: Down Under, The (MA + 150 points)
🦝

$4 HD

Alien3 [Theatrical] (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Alien: Resurrection (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Company Of Heroes [2013] (MA)
Ever After: A Cinderella Story [1998] (MA)
How To Train Your Dragon 1 & 2 bundle (MA)
Jungle Book, The [1967] (MA + 150 points)
Legion Of Super-Heroes (MA)
Lilo & Stitch (MA + 150 points)
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch (MA + 150 points)
Lion King 1 & ½, The (MA + 150 points)
Men [A24] (Vudu or Google Play)
Minions + Minions: The Rise Of Gru double feature (MA)
Nightmare Before Christmas, The (MA + 150 points)
Step Brothers [Theatrical & Unrated] (MA)
Transporter, The [2002] (MA or Google Play/ports)
🦝

$3️⃣ Movies

#$3 4K UHD
American Assassin (Vudu)
Apollo 13 (iTunes/ports)
Avengers: Age Of Ultron (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Big Hero 6 (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Birth Of A Nation, The (iTunes/ports)
Captain Marvel (MA + 200 points)
Doctor Strange (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Everest [2015] (iTunes/ports)
Frozen II (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Hocus Pocus (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Interstellar (iTunes)
Midway [2019] (Vudu or iTunes)
Moana (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Rambo: First Blood (iTunes)
Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (iTunes)
Transformers: The Last Knight (Vudu)
Zootopia (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
🦝

$3 HD

Batman & Superman: Battle Of The Super Sons (MA)
Black Widow [2021] (MA + 150 points)
Book Of Life, The [2014] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Chicago [2002] (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Cosmic Sin (Vudu or iTunes)
Cruella (MA + 150 points)
Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (MA + 150 points)
Dolittle [2020] (MA)
Drive [2011] (MA + Sony points)
Encanto (MA + 150 points)
Eternals [2021] (MA + 150 points)
How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (MA)
Joe [2014] (Vudu)
Jungle Book, The [1967] (MA only/no points)
Legends Of Oz: Dorothy's Return (MA)
Les Misérables [1998] (MA)
Lightyear [2022] (MA + 150 points)
Lilo & Stitch (Google Play/ports)
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A (Google Play/ports) or both for $5
London Has Fallen (iTunes/ports)
Moonlight [A24] (Vudu)
Night At The Museum [2006] (MA)
Northman, The [2022] (MA)
Peter Pan [1953] (MA + 150 points)
Phantom Thread (MA)
Place Beyond The Pines, The (iTunes/ports)
Rescuers, The (Google Play/ports)
Rescuers: Down Under, The (Google Play/ports)
Shang Chi & The Legend Of The Ten Rings (MA + 150 points)
Sleight [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Spider-Man: No Way Home (MA + Sony points)
Still Alice (MA + Sony points)
This Is The End (MA + Sony points)
Thor: Love & Thunder (MA + 150 points)
Top Gun (Vudu)
Unholy, The [2021] (MA + Sony points)
Wedding Ringer, The (MA + Sony points)
🦝
All codes are $2. Prices are firm for now. Please only redeem the you are paying for. Any Disney codes are split. MA/iTunes Disney will include points but not the GP redeem. All Sony titles include points as long as the title is eligible. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I accept Cashapp, Venmo, Zelle, Fb pay or PayPal F&F. Comment & pm if interested. Thanks for checking out my list.
🦝

💲2️⃣ HDX

12 Years A Slave (MA)
21 Jump Street (MA + Sony points)
2 Guns (MA or iTunes/ports)
Action Point (iTunes 4K)
Adventures Of Tintin, The (Vudu or iTunes)
Age Of Adaline, The (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Alien Covenant (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
All Eyez On Me (iTunes)
Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Amazing Spider-Man, The (MA)
Amazing Spider-Man 2, The (MA + Sony points)
American Girl: McKenna Shoots For The Stars (MA or iTunes/ports)
American Reunion [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (Vudu or iTunes)
Annihilation [2018] (Vudu)
Ant Man (Google Play/ports)
Arrival [2016] (Vudu)
Assassin's Creed (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Bad Boys For Life (MA + Sony points)
Bad Grandpa (iTunes)
Batman, The [2022] (MA)
Battleship [2012] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Beauty & The Beast [2017] (MA + 150 points/iTunes option is expired)
Beguiled, The [2017] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Big Wedding, The (iTunes)
Black Panther (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Black Widow [2021] (Google Play/ports)
Book Club (Vudu)
Boss Baby, The (MA)
Bourne Identity, The (MA)
Bourne Legacy, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Brian Banks (MA)
Bridge Of Spies (Google Play/ports)
Cabin In The Woods, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (MA)
Case For Christ, The (iTunes/ports)
Chi-Raq (Vudu)
Choice, The [2016] (Vudu)
Contraband (iTunes/ports)
Cruella (Google Play/ports)
Daddy's Home (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Darkest Hour [2017] (MA)
Deepwater Horizon (iTunes 4K)
Despicable Me [2010] (MA)
Despicable Me 2 (iTunes/ports 4K)
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (MA)
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (MA or iTunes/ports)
Divergent (iTunes 4K)
Divergent Series: Insurgent (iTunes 4K)
Django Unchained (Vudu)
Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (Google Play/ports)
Dragonheart: Battle For The Heartfire (MA)
Duff, The (iTunes)
Dying Of The Light (Vudu)
Edward Scissorhands (MA)
Emoji Movie, The (MA + Sony points)
Ender's Game (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Epic [2013] (MA or iTunes/ports)
E.T. The Extra Terrestrial (MA)
Ex Machina (Vudu)
Expendables 3, The (Vudu 4K)
Fast & Furious 6, The [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Fifty Shades Darker [Unrated] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Fifty Shades Of Grey [Unrated] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Finding Dory (iTunes/ports 4K or HD + 150 points)
Flight [2012] (Vudu or iTunes)
Frozen (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Gambler, The [2015] (Vudu or iTunes)
Gemini Man (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Ghostbusters [2016] [Theatrical & Extended] (MA + Sony points)
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Girl On The Train, The [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K)
God's Not Dead 2 (iTunes/ports)
God's Not Dead: A Light In Darkness (MA)
Gods Of Egypt (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Good Day To Die Hard, A [Extended] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Grace Unplugged (Vudu)
Greatest Showman, The (MA)
Grey, The [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Hacksaw Ridge (Vudu or Google Play)
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters [Unrated] (Vudu or iTunes)
Hardcore Henry (MA or iTunes/ports)
Hateful Eight, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Haunting In Connecticut 2: The Ghosts Of Georgia, The (Vudu)
Heat, The [2013] (MA)
Heaven Is For Real (MA + Sony points)
Hell Or High Water (Vudu or Google Play)
Hercules [2014] (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Hidden Figures (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Hitman's Bodyguard, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Home [2015] (MA)
Home Alone (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Hope Springs [2012] (MA)
How To Train Your Dragon 2 (MA)
Hugo (Vudu or iTunes)
Hunger Games, The (iTunes 4K)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part, The (iTunes 4K)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (iTunes 4K)
Huntsman: Winter's War, The [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Hustlers [2019] (iTunes 4K)
I Can Only Imagine (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Ice Age: Continental Drift (MA)
Independence Day: Resurgence (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Instant Family (iTunes 4K)
Interstellar (Vudu or Google Play)
It's A Wonderful Life [1947] (Vudu)
Jackass 3 [Theatrical] (Vudu or iTunes)
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (Vudu)
Jarhead 2: Field Of Fire [Unrated] (MA)
Jason Bourne (iTunes/ports 4K)
Jaws (MA)
John Wick (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (iTunes 4K)
Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (MA + Sony points)
Jungle Cruise (MA + 150 points)
Jurassic Park III [2001] (MA)
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (MA)
Kick-Ass 2 (MA or iTunes/ports)
Killer Elite (iTunes/ports)
Kingsman: The Golden Circle (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Kingsman: The Secret Service (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Kung Fu Panda 3 (MA)
Last Stand, The [2013] (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Last Witch Hunter, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Lee Daniels' The Butler (Vudu)
Legend Of Hercules, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Little Mermaid, The (Google Play/ports)
Logan (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Lone Survivor (iTunes/ports 4K)
Longest Ride, The (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Lorax, The [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Love & Mercy [2015] (Vudu)
Luca (Google Play/ports)
Lucy (iTunes/ports 4K)
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (MA)
Maggie (Vudu)
Marauders (Vudu)
Marvel's The Avengers [2012] (Google Play/ports)
Mechanic: Resurrection (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Mindgamers (MA)
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (iTunes 4K)
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (iTunes 4K)
Mountain Between Us, The (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Mr. Peabody & Sherman (MA)
Mud (Vudu)
Mummy, The [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Murder On The Orient Express [2017] (MA)
Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Noah [2014] (Vudu or iTunes)
Non-Stop [2014] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Now You See Me 2 (iTunes 4K)
Other Woman, The [2014] (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Overlord [2019] (Vudu)
Oz The Great & Powerful (MA + 100 points)
Pain & Gain (Vudu)
Paper Towns (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Paranormal Activity [Theatrical] (Vudu or iTunes)
Paranormal Activity 3 [Extended] (iTunes)
Paul [2011] [Unrated] (iTunes/ports)
Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters (MA or Google Play/ports)
Peter Pan [1953] (Google Play/ports)
Pet Sematary [2019] (Vudu)
Pirate Fairy, The (Google Play/ports
Pitch Perfect (iTunes/ports 4K)
Pitch Perfect 2 (iTunes/ports 4K)
Planes [2013] (MA + 150 points)
Possession, The [2012] (iTunes)
Prometheus (MA)
Purge: Anarchy, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Purge: Election Year, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Quiet Place, A [2018] (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Riddick [2013] [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Ride Along (MA or iTunes/ports)
Ride Along 2 (iTunes/ports)
Risen [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Rise Of The Guardians [2011] (MA)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Russell Madness (MA or Google Play/ports)
Safe [2012] (Vudu or Google Play)
Safe House [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Saving Mr. Banks (Google Play/ports)
Secret Life Of Pets, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Secret Life Of Walter Mitty, The (MA)
Selma (Vudu or iTunes)
Sicario (Vudu 4K, iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Silver Linings Playbook (Vudu or Google Play)
Sing [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Sinister (iTunes)
Sleepless [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Snatched [2017] (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Snitch (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Snow White & The Huntsman [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Space Between Us, The (MA or iTunes/ports)
Spider-Man: Homecoming (MA + Sony points)
Star Trek [2009] (iTunes 4K)
Star Trek Beyond (iTunes 4K)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Straight Outta Compton (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Super Buddies [2013] (MA + 100 points)
Ted [Unrated] (MA)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Terminator: Genisys (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
This Is 40 [Theatrical] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Thor: Love & Thunder (Google Play/ports)
Thor: Ragnarok (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Total Recall [2012] [Theatrical & Extended Unrated] (MA + Sony points)
Toy Story 4 (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Trolls (MA)
True Blood: Season 4 (iTunes)
True Grit [2010] (Vudu or iTunes)
Turbo [2013] (MA)
Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor (Google Play)
Valerian & The City Of A Thousand Planets (Vudu)
Venom (MA + Sony points)
Walk Among The Tombstones, A (iTunes/ports)
War For The Planet Of The Apes (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Warm Bodies (iTunes 4K or GP HD)
War Room [2015] (MA + Sony points)
When The Game Stands Tall (MA + Sony points)
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (Vudu)
Wild Card (Vudu or Google Play)
Woman In Black, The [2012] (MA)
Woman In Gold (Vudu)
Wonder [2017] (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Won't Back Down [2012] (MA)
X-Men: Days Of Future Past (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
XXX: Return Of Xander Cage (iTunes 4K)
🦝

💲2️⃣ SD

All About Steve (iTunes/ports)
Descendants, The (iTunes/ports)
Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who! (iTunes/ports)
Inside Llewyn Davis (MA)
Juno (iTunes/ports)
Marley & Me (iTunes/ports)
Mr. Popper's Penguins (iTunes/ports)
Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (iTunes/ports)
Rocker, The [2008] (iTunes/ports)
Tree Of Life, The (iTunes/ports)
We Bought A Zoo (iTunes/ports)
🦝

$1 Codes

💲1️⃣ HD

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (Vudu)
Alex Cross (Vudu)
Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Google Play/ports)
Avengers: Endgame (Google Play/ports)
Avengers: Infinity War (Google Play/ports)
Beauty & The Beast [2017] (Google Play/ports)
Big Hero 6 (Google Play/ports)
Black Panther (MA without points or Google Play/ports)
Bourne Ultimatum, The (MA)
Captain America: Winter Soldier (Google Play/ports)
Captain Marvel (Google Play/ports)
Choice, The [2016] (iTunes)
Deadpool (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Divergent (Vudu)
Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Doctor Strange (Google Play/ports)
Dog's Purpose, A (iTunes/ports)
Ender's Game (Vudu)
Escape Plan (Vudu)
Expendables 2, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Expendables 3, The [Theatrical] (iTunes 4K)
Expendables 3, The [Unrated] (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Fast & Furious 6 [Extended] (MA)
Fast Five [Extended] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Fate Of The Furious, The [8] [Theatrical] (HD MA)
Fifty Shades Darker [Unrated] (MA)
Finding Dory (Google Play/ports)
Furious 7 [Extended] (MA)
Girls Trip (MA or iTunes/ports)
Guardians Of The Galaxy (Google Play/ports)
Hillsong: Let Hope Rise (iTunes/ports)
Hocus Pocus (Google Play/ports)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The (Vudu)
I Feel Pretty (iTunes)
Inside Out (Google Play/ports)
Iron Man 3 (MA only/no points or Google Play/ports)
John Wick 3 (Google Play)
Jungle Cruise [2021] (Google Play/ports)
Jurassic World (MA)
Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain (Vudu)
Kidnap [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Lightyear [2022] (Google Play/ports)
Lion King, The [2019] (Google Play/ports)
Lone Survivor (MA)
Maleficent (Google Play/ports)
Mission Impossible: Fallout (Vudu)
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Vudu)
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Vudu)
Moana (Google Play/ports)
Norm Of The North (Vudu)
Now You See Me (Vudu)
Oz: The Great & Powerful (Google Play/ports)
Pitch Perfect 2 (MA)
Planes (Google Play/ports)
Purge, The [2013] (MA)
Red 2 (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Google Play/ports)
Secret Life Of Pets, The (MA)
Snitch (Vudu)
Snow White & The Huntsman [Extended] (MA)
Star Trek Beyond (Vudu)
Star Trek: Into Darkness (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker (Google Play/ports)
Super Buddies (Google Play/ports)
Taken 2 (MA or Google Play/ports)
Ted [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [2014] (Vudu)
Thor: Ragnarok (Google Play/ports)
Toy Story 4 (Google Play/ports)
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (Vudu)
Transformers: The Last Knight (Vudu HD or iTunes 4K)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection (Vudu)
Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor (Vudu)
Unbroken [2014] (MA)
World War Z (Vudu)
XXX: Return Of Xander Cage (Vudu)
Zootopia (Google Play/ports)
🦝

💲1️⃣ SD

22 Jump Street (MA + Sony points)
Act Of Valor (iTunes)
Amazing Spider-Man, The (MA)
Annie [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Call Me By Your Name [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Captain Phillips (MA + Sony points)
Concussion (MA + Sony points)
Despicable Me (iTunes/ports)
Devil Inside, The [2012] (Vudu)
Elysium (MA + Sony points)
Equalizer, The (MA + Sony points)
Family Guy: Blue Harvest (iTunes)
Family Guy: It's A Trap! (iTunes)
Fury [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Glee: The Concert (iTunes/ports)
Goosebumps [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Grown Ups 2 (MA + Sony points)
Haunting In Connecticut, The (iTunes)
Haywire (iTunes)
Heaven Is For Real (MA + Sony points)
Hobo With A Shotgun (iTunes)
Hope Springs [2012] (MA)
Hours [2013] (Vudu)
Hugo (Vudu)
Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs (iTunes/ports)
Immortals [2011] (iTunes)
Judy Moody & The Not Bummer Summer (iTunes)
Jumanji: The Next Level (MA + Sony points)
Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (MA + Sony points)
Life As We Know It (iTunes)
Magnificent Seven, The [2016] (Vudu)
Mama Mia! The Movie (iTunes/ports)
Monuments Men, The (MA + Sony points)
Mortal Instruments : City Of Bones, The (MA + Sony points)
No Good Deed [2014] (MA + Sony points)
One For The Money (iTunes)
Ong Bak 3 (iTunes)
Peter Rabbit (MA)
Predators [2010] (iTunes/ports)
Public Enemies (iTunes/ports)
Rio (iTunes/ports)
Robin Hood [2010] [Unrated] (iTunes/ports)
Safe Haven (iTunes)
Something Borrowed (iTunes/ports)
Star, The [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Think Like A Man (MA + Sony points)
This Is The End (MA + Sony points)
Total Recall [2012] (MA + Sony points)
When The Game Stands Tall (MA + Sony points)
X-Men: First Class (iTunes/ports)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (iTunes/ports)
🦝

Super Cheap SD & HD Codes

All movies are 3 for $1 each/must spend at least $1 total
Expendables 2, The (Vudu SD only or iTunes SD only)
Frozen (Google Play/ports HD)
Hunger Games, The (Vudu SD or iTunes SD)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The (Vudu HD)
Perks Of Being A Wallflower, The (iTunes SD only)
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (iTunes/ports SD)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Google Play/ports HD)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Google Play/ports HD)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection (iTunes HD only)
What To Expect When You're Expecting (iTunes SD only)

All constructive criticism is welcome and the more specific, the better.

Pitchforks to an Android Fight: How A.I. destroys the class power balance

The history of class conflict is as old as civilization itself. The few - who are rich and powerful - have always contested for the preservation of their wealth and privileges against the many.
Peasants vs kings. Plebeians vs patricians. Serfs vs landlords. Labor vs Industrialists. Proletariat vs bourgeoisie. And now the 99% vs the 1%. The names are legion but the inherent structure of the conflict remains the same: A privileged, consumption-driven few vs a productive, subservient many.
Outwardly, the contest appears extremely one-sided. Yet, the repetitive history of small elites cornering the majority of society’s resources and power to the detriment of the majority of society is almost metronome in nature.
Counterbalanced only by the sheer mass of the ruled, ruling elites have employed a series of strategies that negate numerical advantage.

Framework of Control

The ruling elites follow a standard framework of control when establishing minority dominance. While the names and actors occasionally change (after all the point is to freeze society in an advantageous configuration), the overall framework exhibits 4 universal strategies:

1. Institutional control
2. Monopolies of violence
3. Divide-and-conquer strategies
4. and a rare accommodation in times of extremis.

This framework has been endlessly replicated and persists to the present. Whether the patrician class of Rome, the upper echelons of the Chinese Communist Party or the 1% in the modern US, the framework is designed to achieve restricted class membership and enforce edicts while preventing aggregation of dissent.

Institutional control

In complex societies, energy (in the form of food, labor, currency or even literal energy like fossil fuels) is distributed throughout a society by its institutions. The energy enables work that powers the economic, political and security objectives of a social group.
Control of any society requires control of these institutions that distribute energy and represents the primary goal of any ruling elite or aspiring ruling elite.
Turning on and off the energy flow represents the crudest type of control where out-groups can be fully excluded from membership in and access to institutions. Burakumin, dalits, Roma and other outcast groups within their respective societies are examples of this type of exclusion.
However, this type of extreme control only works on small minority groups. The vast majority of the populace wouldn’t willingly accept complete exclusion to the energy and their numerical superiority ensures that the aspiring ruling elite must maintain adequate outflows to preserve the structure of society.
Any distribution of energy will naturally generate disputes or dissatisfaction with distributions and subsequent demands for representation in the relevant decision-making process.
Ruling elites subvert these demands and any need for change through the invention of institutions of legitimacy )that allow the co-option of more ambitious or intelligent dissenters. This can be a system of mana) or spiritual superiority that justifies privilege and control or even intellectual compliance with an ideology as in the former Soviet Union.
Institutional control has many faces including:

• The caste systems of India
• The Imperial Chinese Confucian examination system
• The religio-political partnerships of Medieval Europe and the Islamic world (including modern Saudi Arabia)
• Hereditary nobility and its privileges
• Communist party membership in the Soviet Union, Vietnam, and China.

In the modern US, this type of control is maintained through:

• Restrictive professional licensing
• Eminent domain
• Imbalanced copyright and patent law
• Carefully culled admission (legacy preferences and affirmative action) to selective universities and
• The interlocking partnership of the financial industry and politically captured political parties.

This coalesces into a class-based collaboration that remains surprisingly hereditary with the children of the privileged given a smooth path to the universities that are disproportionately represented in the upper echelons of government, finance and professional fields.
The newly minted leaders then direct political and economic institutions in preservation of their class with little to no internal institutional dissent - sometimes to disastrous results such as the Great Financial Collapse.

Monopoly on violence

Violence is the strategy of regimes with weak institutional control. Faced with disbelief in the institutions of legitimacy or failures of policy or control in the distribution of energy, coercion becomes the only option to maintain control.
Coercion is problematic though when numbers parity doesn’t exist between the ruling elite and the ruled. To address the numbers imbalance, ruling elites’ always attempt to establish a monopoly on violence by becoming either the sole capable source of coercive violence or through co-option of out-group members into the in-group to coerce other out-group members.
Monopolies on violence have materialized and continued as:

• Restrictions on membership in a warrior class such as the Spartan-helot, samurai-peasant and knight-serf distinctions
• Restriction of weapons ownership like Toyotomi Hideyoshi’s confiscation of peasant weapons and modern gun ownership restrictions.
• The creation of professional armies and the end of the citizen-soldier

Through control of who can receive weapons training and own weapons, ruling classes through history have neutralized the much larger numbers of the ruled through military and firepower superiority. History is replete with stories of superior-armed and armored warriors crushing under-armed peasant uprisings like Wat Tyler's Rebellion .

‘Professional violence’ and the end of the citizen-soldier

The creation of professional armies has ensured a dependent class whose sole living is the imposition of force as directed by the ruling class. Recruitment not only diminishes the possible members of any uprising but serves as an active deterrent to uprisings.
From the Spartan Crypteia to the Tianammen massacre to the US military’s misdirected destruction of Iraq post 9-11, professional armies have wreaked havoc in the name of the ruling class with the havoc largely directed at members of their own class and sometimes, families.
Since disaffected members of the populace as a whole are no longer required to serve, violent action becomes discreet and distant with minimal interference from the ruled.
The monopoly on violence is lessened in the United States due to the 2nd Amendment of the US Constitution and globally, The Cold War proliferated weaponry in the hands of non-state actors.
But the trend to centralize violence remains strong with armed interventions by multi-regime organizations such as the UN in the DRC, NATO in the former Yugoslavia, and ECOMOG in Guinea-Bissau and Liberia to prop up corrupt minority regimes in the face of non-approved armed groups.
Additionally, modern western governments have enacted large scale gun restrictions and at times, confiscation to ensure that the larger populace remains at a tactical advantage to the ruling elites’ armed forces. In the US, increased militarization of law enforcement has been accompanied by increasing restrictions on automatic weapons, body armor and ammunition.

Divide-and-conquer strategies

When institutional control loosens or the monopoly of violence weakens, the traditional response has been to divide the opposition into more manageable-sized groups. Mass social action has trumped the power of the ruling elite in the past and should be deterred at all costs.
The Divide-and-Conquer strategy ensures that the ruled can never coalesce enough disaffected members that their numbers outweigh the powerful’s control of institutions and violence.
The invidious strategy is monotonous in its lack of originality over human history and simplicity. While there have existed numerous small variations of this strategy at a high level, the strategy universally employs the following three methods:

1. Scapegoating and Dehumanization
2. Establishment of a group identity in opposition to the scapegoat
3. Invocation of ‘resistance’, ‘fighting’ or ‘revolution’ against the scapegoat to justify and mask policies that benefit the ruling elite or failures of the ruling elite

Scapegoating and Dehumanization

All of society’s problems become one group’s fault. It doesn’t matter that the group that is being victimized is powerless and can’t affect the outcome of policy or economy. Somehow it’s Their Fault!
Jews in Nazi Germany, LGBT people in Uganda, Poles in the UK, Roma throughout Europe, poor urban blacks in modern GOP rhetoric or poor rural whites in modern Democratic rhetoric are all examples of scapegoat groups. Caricatures, insults and propaganda all serve to demonize this group as secret subversives bent on destroying ‘progress’ or ‘family values’.

Establishment of a group identity in opposition to the scapegoat

Group identity is now paramount and group membership a sign of superiority in the name of whatever value du jour. Dissent becomes heretical. Virtue signaling becomes a necessity to ensure compliance and language becomes strictly policed. Compromise is mocked as ‘both-side-ism’ or secret allegiance to the ‘Them’.
Even dress reflects this division much like the construct of Red and Blue America in contemporary times. Outward displays of membership ensure that no random encounter with another side and their opinions becomes likely. People are literally physically repulsed from each other.

Invocation of ‘resistance’ or ‘revolution’ against the scapegoat to justify and mask policies that benefit the ruling elite or failures of the ruling elite

With groups isolated in their intellectual and media silos and identity locked into the conflict with the ‘Them’, any policy can be promulgated by the ruling elite under this guise. Any failure of the policy is redirected at the ‘Them’.
The Great Leap Forward and The Cultural Revolution in Communist China are excellent examples of this malevolent process in action.
The Great Leap Forward was a spectacular failure constituting the largest man-made disaster with 15-55 million estimated deaths. This type of disaster would normally be followed by widespread civil unrest and revolution.
However, by blaming crypto-bourgeoisie and other subversive elements within China itself, a possible overthrow of the CCP was channeled into The Cultural Revolution.
Dissent and dissatisfaction with poor governance by the ruling elite was metamorphosed instead into an exhaustive pursuit of the crypto-bourgeoisie and Western elements that were ‘truly responsible’ for the failure. The ruling CCP not only defused dissent but used the re-channeled energy to successfully cow the entire populace into submission.

Accommodation: The Last Resort

Sometimes - rarely - mass movements arise that bridge multiple tribal or manufactured identities and force accommodation from the ruling elite. There are multiple examples of these movements through history, including:

• Secessio Plebis or general commoner strikes in classical Rome
• The Social War (91–87 BC)) and subsequent admission of Italians to Roman citizenship
• The multi-racial abolitionist coalition that ended Western chattel slavery in the 19th century
• The rise of US organized labor in the 19th century and the adoption of work reforms
• Gandhi’s Salt March and the start of the end of British colonialism in India
• Martin Luther King’s multi-racial coalition of the 1950s and 1960s and the passage of The Civil Rights Act of 1964
• Lech Walesa and Solidarity) in Poland and the end of Communism in Poland

While the actors and times may differ, the end results are the same. A movement is able to leverage the inherent numerical advantage of the ruled by pursuing shared, pragmatic goals that bridge multiple identities. Unified by pragmatism that exceeds identity, the ruled are able to nullify or overwhelm the ruling elites’ normal advantages.
Or simply put - Numbers count. Ask the guards at the Bastille circa 1789 or the Rajapaksa brothers of Sri Lanka. Faced with either total dispossession or in the case of The French and Russian Revolutions - execution - the ruling elite will concede limited to large accommodations to the ruled.
Universal citizenship, self-ownership, labor regulations, social welfare programs, universal suffrage and the end of European colonialism all resulted from these forced accommodations. The improvement of the average human’s quality of life can be charted through these milestone movements and givebacks.

The Strategic Balance Tilts

Rational ruling elites have long realized their dependency on the ruled as the producers of energy as well as the purveyors of coercion vs competitive elites and other members of the ruled.
Fear of the ‘Leviathan’) or mob is prevalent among the ruling elites. Destructive or revolutionary uprisings are most feared by those with something to destroy especially when the potential revolutionaries outnumber the propertied 99-to-1.
Civilization - specialization’s evolution into stratification - has been a repetitive cycle of balance-disruption-counterbalance between the ruled and the ruling elites. A balance of superior capital, technology, and class cohesion held by the ruling minority vs the raw numbers and productivity of the many.
Since the Industrial Revolution, this strategic balance has suffered numerous shocks generated by technological innovations that have lessened the dependence of the ruling elite on the productivity of the ruled.
For millennia, the traditional replacement for the ruled was coerced labor in the form of some type of serfdom or chattel slavery. However, replacing one human with another human simply multiplied the problems of control. Skilled laborers may not be replaceable at all especially with unskilled coerced labor. And now there existed two disaffected humans - the coerced laborer and the replaced laborer. The history of Haiti and post-Civil War race relations in America are a testament to the human problems created with coerced labor.
The advent of widespread mechanization and fossil fuel usage allowed the harnessing of non-human energy for production. The value of brute force labor began a long decline as the number of humans needed for a job decreased precipitously. Steam engines, internal combustion engines and growing electricity availability powered harvesters, cotton gins, excavators and other tools that could do the work of many people without complaint or rest and for less cost. There remained a need for skilled labor that could operate or maintain the machinery and this need served to generate the modern organized labor movements and the work reforms they were able to obtain.
Starting in the 1970s and skyrocketing after China’s admission to the WTO in 2001, the ruling elites began to reduce their dependence on the unionized skilled laborers by offshoring manufacturing to lower cost locales with skilled labor but cheaper operating costs, fewer labor protections and looser environmental regulation. The remaining skilled and trade laborers began to be constantly pressured by threats of offshoring and the constant inflow of illegal immigrants to accept flat wage and benefit growth or risk replacement.
The advent of more user-friendly computers and operating systems - developed by companies like Apple and Microsoft - began the erosion of semi-skilled white collar job security. To paraphrase: Software began eating the people. Clerical, retail and assistant roles were replaced by office productivity suites, automated inventory systems and calendaring applications. The process accelerated in the late 1990s with the boom of Internet usage by consumers and businesses. This started the process that saw the value of semi-skilled and personal services labor degraded to commodity levels where laborers became interchangeable and temporarily leased by apps like Uber, Taskrabbit, etc.
This erosion of the ruling elite’s dependence on the ruled’s labor and productivity has had severe economic implications for society. Wealth inequality has accelerated to where in the United States the top 1% owns as much wealth as the bottom 90%. Wages have remained stagnant since the 1970s even as productivity has soared. Labor’s value is so low that the Democratic Party - famously commemorated by Kyrsten Sinema’s physical thumbs-down vote - rejected the first minimum wage increase in over a decade during a time of high inflation.
This is the effective end of one of the strategic deterrents the ruled had vs the depredations of the ruling elite. Mechanization and computing have globalized and commoditized labor while avoiding the control issues or capital costs of the past. The threat of withholding labor no longer carries the implications of the past, especially in light of regulatory capture that legally impairs critical industry workers from striking.

It had been three days since the S.S. Paria had landed on Catelli IV and despite the circumstances, the crew were still in good sprits.
A few days prior, the Terran owned Freighter had received a Priority 4 transmission from the the Galatic Network. Informing them that a class 3 Ion Storm had been detected and all vessels in that sector of space were to take appropriate action.
Now a Class III Ion storm was not the strongest one could encounter. But it was still poweful enough to to damage or even cripple a large freighter like the Paria. Not wanting to take chances, the Paria had landed on Catelli IV in an attempt to wait out the storm.
While on the surface, the crew did everything they could to pass the time. From inspecting the cargo, a task made easy since the Paria was mostly empty at the time. To running routine maintenance on the vessel. But eventually the crew did have some down time and decided to use their free time to relax.
One group of crew mates, a Vol'Pina female and a pair of Alulians, had just finished cleaning the air filtration units and were now huddled around a small fire they had created outside the vessel. Many of the crew had taken the opportunity to set up small camps to sleep, as it was a nice change of pase from sleeping in bunks fir weeks on end.
Eventually a fourth member joined their group, a Human named "Morri" and technically, he was their senior. But you would never guess that by the way he interacted. Unlike the Corporate operated ships, things like rank really didn't mean much on privately operated ships.
"I wonder how long we will be here planet side?" The Vol'pina asked curiously, her rabbit like ears twitching as she looked up inti the night sky and watched the bolts of energy crack and dance about."
'"The captain said we will be able to leave by the end of the week." Morri replied, as he took another swig of his beer. "I wonder if he is still up there?"
"Who, Morri the human?" One of the Alulians asked, his translator doing it's best communicate to his ship mate.
"Oh .. it's nothing." Morri replied.
"No really, who were you talking about?" The Vol'pina asked, now curious as to what or who her senior was talking about.
"Well.... It's a story may family have been telling for years." Morri began to explained, his eyes now focusing on the fire before then. "I don't you guys would want to hear it."
"I got nothing else better to do!" The female crewman said excitedly, as the two jelly-fish like Alulians nooded. "Yes, please tell us."
"Okay then, if you insist." Morri relented, as he began his story.
'You see, my family has always been involved in cargo hauling, ever since the first Slip Space Drives became available on the civilian market. We have been running freight for generations and I am the latest to carry on that legacy. But my great grand uncle, he was probably thee most famous. He did alot of things during his time, eventually buying his own ship and becoming a private captain. He was the one who originally told this story and from what my family said, if was one of the few times he ever looked scared."
The group were now invested in Morri's story, as they continued to listen attentively.
"This particular story takes place when my uncle had just joined the Merchant and Commerce union. He had been assigned to an older DY-500-class cargo ship, the Madison J. Slowcome as his first posting. This was still years before the Bon'sa rebellions, so the Madison was running cargo to the Civ'a and Bonset Systems. It was during one of these runs they ended up encountering a Class-I Ion Storm, so it was nothing they could not handle. But while in the storm, the communitation officer suddenly announced that he was picking up a destress signal in coming from the storm itself.
"Being who they were and not wanting to potentially leave someone to die, the Captain of the Madison decided to investigate and they soon found the source.... It was a life pod... From a old DY-150 cargo ship."
"DY-150?" The Vol'pina asked, as she had some familiarity with human ship designs. "If I am not mistaken... The DY-150 have not used in well over four hundred years!"
Morri nodded, "That's right, which means that pod had been floating in space for well over a century before the Madison found it. Either way, they brought the thing on board and my uncle and another guy he worked with named 'Smithy' were ordered to open it up and see if there was anyone inside. Weird thing was, that while they were cutting through, my uncle swore he could hear.... Tapping coming from inside. But when they were finally able to open the pod, they found...."
"A body?"
"An Alien?"
"Nothing..." Morri replied. "There was no one inside."
"So what happen next? The other Alulian asked, genuinely invested in his shipmate's story.
"Well... Nothing at first. Though as time passed, my uncle soon began to notice a change in Smithy. He became withdrawn from the rest of the crew, sometimes the other crewmen could hear him muttering in some alien language, he bagan to miss his shifts. My uncle was very certain the captain was ready to kick Smithy off his ship when they reached the next station. But that never happened."
By now, al three crewmen were listening intently to the human as he told his story. Waiting intently for Morri to finish his story. "What happened...?"
"Well.... It was during another ion storm when Smithy just went crazy. He began to attack the crew, even managed to seal himself in the engineering section and almost destroyed the ship. My uncle and a few others were able to break through before he could though, but Smithy managed to escape to a life pod and jetison himself into the storm."
"They.... They were able to re capture him, right?"
"They couldn't even if they wanted too." Morri explained. "Smithy has managed to do some really bad damage to the reactor. They would have to wait a few days before they were rescued by another freighter. They did try to look for the missing life pod, but they were not able to find it."
The group was now in a stunned silence, as they they were all at a loss for words at this point. But eventually one of them spoke up and asked... "But... But what about that other life pod? The ones they originally found?"
"They ran the serial numbers, turned out it was indeed from a old DY-150. But the ship it came from had actually been decommissioned and scrapped a few years prior. Maybe some other ship had bought it but they never found out.. There were no records."
"So what you think happened... To Smithy?"
"Honestly... I don't know." Morri confessed. "Some said Smithy may have been possessed by the ghost of a dead crewman who was never rescued. Others think it was some kind of alien which was using the pod as some kind of lure. All my uncle knew was that one of his closet friends was now gone and is probably somewhere out there.
"I remember when I first heard that story, scared me when I was a child and it still creeps me out today. Especially when other members of my family said that every once in a while, when the com network is quiet... They swear they heard a faint destress beacon coming through. But then again, my uncle was known as a bit of a joker!"
That more or less broke the mood, as the three xenos were brought back reality.
"So its not true?"
"Who knows?" Morri replied, as he got up from his seat. "But it pretty much was the wild west back in my uncle's time, but who knows? I suggest you guys get some rest, I plan to do a Diog on engine 3 and 4." And with that, Morri left to return to the ship.
"And why did you marry Morri the Human?" The Alulian from before asked the Vol'pina woman.
She just chuckled a bit before she replied, "because he makes me laugh."
Eventually the the storm did pass and the Paria lifted off from the planet surface to continue her trip. It would reach its destination safely and take on its cargo. But there were at least three individuals who would pay a little more attention to the com network when ever they had that duty.
Hoping they would never detect a destress call from a old DY-500 life pod....

Advent Home
trigger warnings
rape, suicide, physical abuse, emotional abuse.
https://www.wvgazettemail.com/news/legal_affairs/more-former-students-sue-over-alleged-abuse-at-boarding-school/article_db70c152-c8db-5711-82dc-52e3d26303ab.html
chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.courthousenews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/WEST-VIRGINIA.pdf
note: Several organizations share a name with the Advent Home. I am specifically referring to the now defunct group home near Calhoun, Tennessee.
We talk a lot today about trauma in a way I don't remember it being discussed even in the broader cultural consciousness when I was young. Mental health was just viewed differently. Adventists have always had a weird relationship with mental health, but I think rarely more strange and harmful than the ideas of Dr. Senior and the Advent home. Through most of this I will use fake names but as Dr. Senior's name is intrinsically and publicly tied to the school he is my one exception. Also, if any reading this had the misfortune of also attending the school, you will know we were told to call him Dr. B or Dr. Blondel but we are adults and his title was Dr. Senior.
I've wanted to write about this for some time and this will likely be a first draft of a larger discussion. Psychology isn't my field of expertise and I've never felt I found the right platform to talk about such a niche subject but finding the Ex Adventist sub and with more being said about mental health I at least feel qualified to discuss where I feel Adventism was used to twist psychology into something harmful by Dr. Senior.
Before I continue, I wasn't there for the worst of what was to happen nor did I receive the worst of what happened in my time there. I also cannot entirely claim innocence of some of the emotional bullying that was tolerated if not encouraged. I hope I have grown since then and have learned from mistakes I made when I was 13 and do believe I am largely innocent of the physical bullying and certainly the sexual assault.
First, I want to address the lawsuit. As I say, I wasn't there for most of this as by 2014 the Advent Home and Miracle Meadows seem to have become much more closely related, swapping students to hide them from law enforcement and deposition. The school closed around 2014 , the time a lawsuit was filed. More lawsuits have since been filed and the director of the sister school miracle meadows was imprisoned. I will link the lawsuit and articles above. As the events detailed in it represent a massive escalation from what was happening while I was there, but I do think the events described are merely the codification of the policies being unofficially implemented on a smaller scale in my time. In short it lays out regular forced sexual assault by students and staff, duct taping students in rooms for days if they were violent and forcing them to study the bible for days at a time as punishment. Thinking back, I can see how the deference to authority and refusal to treat mental health as anything other than a religious failing could lead to the behavior detailed in these allegations. To be clear I am linking the allegation and articles below though I wasn't part of any of these trials and don't know which charges exactly stuck.
Even though the school is closed and from what I can tell Dr. Senior is retired, I think there is a larger discussion to be had about how the Adventist Church handles mental health and firebrands. So, what was the Advent Home? The Advent Home was a young men's reform school begun by Dr. Blondel Senior in Calhoun, Tennessee. There isn't much left to find on it as it shut down around 2014 and never had a great online presence. I suspect a lawsuit around the same time was to blame, as, if any of its allegations were proven, it would have cost the advent home, Dr Senior, and the conference a lot of money and embarrassment. More on this later.
The Advent Home advertised a range of services from treating ADHD and general misbehavior to serious developmental disorders and outright criminals. Basicall, he wanted it to be everything from a more structured middle school to a juvenile detention center, and predictably, it would fail at both.
I don't know how my mom found out about the Advent Home, but I know her reasons for sending me. A nasty divorce between my parents caused me to lose interest in schoo, so I barely passed 8th grade, and I had started listening to Eminem. That's it. it seems so laughably tame but that's all it took for Dr. Senior to be able to convince my mom that this behavior would escalate and the only recourse was his school which was built on and advertised correction through a strict adherence to Adventist principles. Every student came with fundamentally different problems. Some, like me were struggling scholastically while several had been ordered there by courts for violent offenses and several had what I cannot give another name other than a complete stall in mental development (one student thought and acted like a toddler, mentally and emotionally well below his age).
We were all, however, given the same treatment regimen, Maturation Therapy. This I will argue is the root of the problem. Dr. Senior claimed to have gotten his PHD in psychology from the University of Jamaica. I am not going to cast aspersions on this institution, but if he did have this degree he missed some crucial lessons and did not keep up on developments in the field. Dr. Senior had identified 70 ideals he believed every young man should emulate as he matures. I could not possibly list them, but they ranged from keeping a clean room, respect for staff to whether you used harsh language to how often you prayed. These would have made for fine rules for a religious correctional facility, but this was the entire treatment plan. Each of the 70 points would have you ranked 1-5, and you graduated by achieving a 4.5 average. 230 points overall. An important note here is all of these points were external. There was no mention of healing trauma or discussion of past actions. We were seen as immature children and by forcing mature behavior our other issues would right themselves. Right? In short, Dr. Seniors idea of therapy was entirely about becoming presentable, respect for authority, and respect for God. I want to go through these because in each I see a failing not only of the school but Adventism's handling of mental health in general. Also while I cannot speak to the lawsuit I will be linking it below as I believe sexual assault survivors and I want to say what these points contribute to how this environment may have developed.
His entire idea of personal growth was based on becoming outwardly his idea of a respectable man. He was willing to cross any number of boundaries violating others' religious taboos, disregarding the desires of the parents and showing no interest in the students as individuals. We were broken and needed only to be put in his mold and recast. One student was Rastafarian and his father wrote a letter explaining their faith and why he shouldn't cut his hair. His father had barely left town when the boy was forced to get his hair shorn off. Our 'civilian' clothes were confiscated on arrival and sorted for how appropriate he felt they were. Anything he didn't like we would get back when we left. I never did. As for speech we were strictly regulated on what words we could say. Cuss words, and even adjacent words like darn, would result in a loss of points and thus longer before we would be able to go home. Instead of psychological healing, his priority was always to make us look healed on the outside.
The most egregious example of this was a boy I will call Zach. Zach had a severe developmental disorder that in my opinion Dr. Senior was woefully ill-equipped to treat but that never dulled his confidence. Because of his neurodivergence Zach was habitually unpresentable. Zach would frequently have food dripped down his shirt, throw temper tantrums in public areas and speak loudly about bodily functions that would have been amusing from a four year old but Zach was almost 14 and just beginning puberty if you get my meaning. At every turn, Zach was not met with treatment but ridicule. To the Advent Home staff, he wasn't sick, he was misbehaved and punished severely for it. We all had to run up to 3 laps of 1/3 of a mile as discipline regularly, but Zach's condition often racked him up more laps than could be humanly run. at one point, a new staff member refused to allow Zach to eat at all until he completed a number of laps I doubt would be humanly possible, let alone for a confused neurodivergent. One of the proudest moments of my life is that I stood up for Zach and pointed out, whatever punishment was meted out, food was an illegal method of punishment in the state. My shame, however, is how often I joined in the ridicule and bullying of Zach when the staff made punishments for his misbehavior punishments for all of us. As I say, I hope I have grown.
Dr. Senior saw scruffiness and cultural differences very much the way the Dursleys from Harry Potter did. These were not the markers of young men expressing themselves or of cultural differences but of moral failings to be stamped out or hidden until they faded into normalcy. We didn't need to discover ourselves, we needed to learn the joy of conformity
The real problems would come with his reliance on authoritative structures. Both the staff and students had clear hierarchies within them. New students would be Group Members, GM, while you could be promoted to Assistant Group Leader, AGL, a Group Leader, GL, with a possible Super Group Leader SGL at the top All leaders had the authority to report misbehavior and physically restrain violent students. Here, we start to see the problems. What constituted violent behavior was entirely up to the authority figure, and unless there were witnesses who ranked equally, Dr. Senior would implicitly believe the higher ranked individual. Keep in mind that some of these kids had real criminal records, and as I've established, we were not getting our problems treated.
I want to use one student as an example. I'll give him a fake name (James) as I hope he's reformed and also should not be judged entirely on his actions when he was 16 but these are actions I either witnessed or saw the fall out of so believer their veracity. I was walking by him one day. he had been given a job he didn't want to do. Instead, he was sitting talking to a group he bullied but passed for his friends. He called out to me to do the job for him. I laughed and kept walking. he took offense and deciding I had disrespected him, chased me down, hit me, tackled me into the gravel road, and held me there until I begged to be released. Those words; I beg you to release me. I was cut, bruised, crying and bleeding. James was unharmed, but when I told Dr. Senior, he believed James because he was a group leader and I a lowly Group member.
One of the students who had been sitting on the steps with James, who I will call Sam, would get caught performing oral sex on James only a few months later. James assured Dr. Senior Sam had asked practically begged to do it, and here again, James authority had him taken at this word. They both received punishment, but Sam got the lion's share as he had initiated and must be gay. I firmly believe James pressured Sam into this, and likely not just this once.
Dr. Senior said the word "manipulative" more than anyone i have ever known. often as we lowly students tried to explain actions or avoid discipline for petty offences, he would accuse us of manipulating. In hindsight, this is how he viewed the relationship between those with power and those without. There were those the system had put in power and those below who now would try to manipulate those who had the power. from the bottom of the ladder, he was incapable of seeing sincerity or pain. only manipulation. To be clear, I don't know how much of the reality reached Dr. Senior's ears, but enough had to he had to be actively ignoring warning signs in favor of authority. I talk about this to show how Dr. Senior felt strongly that respect for authority was essential regardless how abusive the authority figure might be. Hold on to that too.
The final point is religion. It should not need said, but Dr. Senior wanted all of us studying the bible and practicing a very conservative faith even for SDA. This is fine(ish), but he also believed that Christ had predictable healing powers and that mental health was only a failing of the individual to have the faith necessary for healing.
We were all encouraged to discontinue any medications we might be taking. For me, with ADHD and Ritalin this was probably fine, but for one student with borderline schizophrenia this led to several violent episodes he was blamed for despite the staff convincing him to get off his meds. A diabetic student was eventually pulled from the program after his 4th hospitalization when he was allowed to opt out of his insulin/ blood sugar checker. Christ, as a placebo alongside medicine, is silly but fine, but as a replacement for lifesaving drugs, it can have dangerous consequences, and Dr. Senior refused to see this. In Dr Senior's mind, I believe, these boys weren't sick, they were failing to let Jesus in to heal them and that's what needed to change.
Furthermore, behavioral incidents were often met with explicitly Christiaan remedies. Issues of bullying and cursing would require not time out but a scripture reading. sometimes alone sometimes publicly, along with a public admission of what we did. This was done at a weekly meeting when Dr. Senior came down from his literal house on the hill to play mediator and in no metaphorical sense moral arbiter of our actions. in essence, he got to play God for 2 hours a week.
The most heinous example of the use of religion however was, Mr. V who I believe saw jail time. This man was a thousand walking red flags. He went to boys' rooms to pray alone, and he insisted on a separate bible study with a group of boys he was particularly close to. Outwardly, however, he was fanatically religious, and this was enough to assuage Dr. Senior of concerns. Mr. V was the guy who when the pastor said kneel for prayer he would stand with his arms to heaven, when the pastor asked for a moment of silent reflection he would exclaim AMEN! every five seconds, He played moral police intervening in behavioral issues after considering a matter settled if a student agreed to a private prayer session (yup, nothing sus here). Dr, Senior employed and sung the praises of Mr. V's work even as this concerning behavior began to escalate to the point that some students, formerly in his inner circle, began to actively distance themselves from him but were unwilling to discuss why.
Dr. Senior could not, however, ignore when Mr. V took a kid off campus without telling anyone to a small mountain cabin to "diet" for three days. Only once the police were involved could Mr. V. 's behavior no longer be ignored and his religious authority be given priority. If you are wondering Mr. V gets a fake name because, while I am telling the truth to the best of my knowledge, we were never told the full story. The student in question was withdrawn before he was willing to talk about it, and Mr. V was not seen again. I don't know what he was charged with or what stuck but I think we can put the pieces together.
Fortunately, other than some more bullying and getting through a nasty flu with nothing more than pepper water as medicine, I graduated. Yeah, shocker, he also didn't like doctors. The shock of seeing how normal people practiced Adventism after a year of this cult like fanaticism has a lot to do with why I'm on this sub and not the SDA sub, but I got off easy. For the criminals and really troubled kids recidivism was high, with several being in a proper prison weeks or months after. Several would turn around and be back at the Advent Home in months because the behavior never stopped, they just learned to act like it did. But the real harm was a boy I'll call Dan. He had depression when he arrived, it was never treated but pushed down. He pushed it down so far he became the best of us. he was very nice and a bit of a mentor to me. he worked hard and became SGL (the highest one remember) with one of the highest scores that an Advent home graduate had had. One year after leaving the school, he committed suicide by diving into an empty pool. Only then, did I realize he wasn't fine. He was never fine. He had mastered acting fine. The furthest I got in Psychology was a single college course and some youtubers (and the small bit of real therapy I've had) but even with this, I can see how Dr. Senior was out of step with the psychological practices even of the early 2000s. He was so much more focused on appearance and behavior than he was ever interested in the root cause, his system often became a new trauma rather than treating an old one. An excessive respect for authority led to abusive behavior being overlooked if not encouraged, and Jesus was treated in a professional setting as a supreme healer despite real medical issues. I saw these issues in the church I left, and my mom and extended family still practice in. This is why I really feel compelled to write this. People like Dr. Senior may seem like an Adventist version of Godwin's law. "Oh, yeah? If we can look at Jesus to heal, it'll end up like the Advent Home!" (Or Miracle Meadows) I know this sentence has never been uttered by anyone but me and maybe Sam, hope you're ok buddy, but the fact is Dr. Senior is the end stage of the ideas put into their most harmful practice, and some like Dan paid with their life.
Finally, through all of this, I remember how Dr. Senior was treated by outsiders. Entire churches prayed for his good work to continue, meetings were held for him to teach others to copy his program, he was featured multiple times in the herald and other Adventist publications. Like Mr. V his religiosity was a shield despite all the red flags, and like Mr. V he was given the respect and admiration that came with his position all the way up until there were consequences. It isn't that no one could see there were problems. He flew his red flags high. Its that the church didn't want to see the problem and didn't care until the outside world took action.
Please, if you take anything from this, look out for your SDA relatives who struggle with mental health. The church sure won't. But on a larger note, I hope this to be part of a larger discussion about bringing awareness to the churches failing on mental health and how they overlook monsters in their ranks who just haven't embarrassed them yet. Dr. Senior never sexually assaulted a kid as far as I'm aware, but he enabled and protected abusers in service of pushing his ideology all while the church sang his praises. Disclaimer: At no point in this do I feel I deliberately lied or exaggerated, but these are 20 year old memories of a traumatized 13 year old who was never given the full story. I tried to leave hearsay out, but I did find out what happened to Dan through the grapevine, though from someone I believe completely. If there are minor inaccuracies, I do apologize, but I believe I have been accurate in the larger points.
Names are changed for obvious reasons, though my change style switched cause I am bad at coming up with names when stressed, my D&D group will confirm, and this is stressful to write about even now.
The Advent Home I attended is shut and a very attractive hotel now. My research showed he partnered closely with miracle meadows, which is also now shut. If by chance Dr. Senior is still practicing somewhere, or has appointed a successor, please persuade family to look closely and critically at his practices before signing anything. He used to complain kids were manipulative but, as with all projectors, he was the master manipulator. He convinced people to consent to incredible things. I believe everyone can change if they want and as far as I know he had the education to do good work. Instead, he chose to ignore that education in service of his biases. Unless he has updated his treatment, please at the very least accompany his work with another well regarded psychologist.

Hey guys, I’m a 25(M) and recently sober after a long stint of alcoholism, and I’ve been trying to unpack the root of my substance abuse issues lately. Also before I get into this, I live in the DFW area now but still on my mothers insurance (BCBS of Alabama), so it has been very hard to find therapy that accepts my insurance, and I'm not very well versed on recognizing narcissism I guess, so just wanted to see what you guys thought.
So my Dad was born in a pretty poor family in Alabama in like the 60s, and did the whole like good ole boy childhood, then joined the Air Force and got a degree in computer science. He did do really well for himself, and our family was like upper middle class, so I had financially a pretty comfortable childhood. My parents both like whooped me and my 2 sisters growing up, but honestly like everybody in mf Alabama early 2000s was whoopin there kids so I don’t like think that was a huge deal. I guess though when I look back like there were times my dad went over the line. He punched me in the face once because I couldn’t carry a like piece of furniture we were moving. He really wanted me to be like a sports star, and I was like kinda athletic but just not like anything special, but he was so hard on me with that shit. In baseball like when I started the actual kid pitch, he took me out to a field and like beaned me with 10 balls and made me stand there so I wouldn’t be afraid of the ball (which like to this day I’m fuckin terrified of baseballs haha). He would make me get outta the car after a football game if I played bad and run down our driveway, which was half a mile long, and drive behind me and act like he was going to hit me. He hit me a few times with a stick in front of these older boys that were helping us clear some land because I couldn’t like pickup a log. I got all these memories of him saying terrible shit like, “you’re gonna make him weaker than he already is” that made like my self imagine throughout high school really low. He was very verbally abusive to my mom and older sister as well, but only really physical with me.
Anyways like I hated being home growing up and moved down to this boarding school in Mobile, AL for my last two years of high school. I look back and like that probably saved my life, because I was like becoming increasing depressed and like honestly violent and disconnected. He was always like right on my ass though, like turning off my phone if I missed a call or telling me I couldn’t go back to that school when I would come home. This continued throughout college.
I did really well in college, even with like severe alcoholism haha got an accounting degree, and I have a really solid job (somehow), and support myself and everything. I don’t talk to my dad a lot. He and my mom got divorced when I was 20, and our family has kinda centered around my mom, and like he’ll call me, but most of the time I just kinda ignore it or make an excuse, because I’m so anxious to talk to him.
Yesterday he was flying through DFW, and I hadn’t seen him in like 6 months and went to grab dinner on his layover. During that dinner I told him that I was sober(he kinda knew I had a problem with alcohol), that I was like eating good and working out and like doing so well at work, and his response was like “hmm”. Like kinda like a hmm I don’t know about that. Really kinda took the air outta me. He proceeded to kinda dominate the entire convo with telling me how hard it was to find a new job, how he doesn’t want to keep dating his girlfriend because he doesn’t like her kids, how my sister was dumb for not waiting longer to have a kid (she’s 29 and married, going to be like the first kid from me or my siblings) and how he’s depressed since none of his kids will talk to him. Just kinda anxious now because I know he’s going to be expecting me to talk to him and come visit.
Sorry yo know that’s a lot, and I’ve written this post out like 20 times and deleted it before, but just thought posting this might give me some like advice or encouragement ig. It’s just fucking hard sometimes.

The court’s new ruling makes it harder for workers to join a union, easier to break one and riskier to try to force concessions
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jun/06/unions-strike-us-supreme-court
Their contract had expired, so the local teamsters, drivers of concrete-mixing barrel trucks for a firm called Glacier Northwest, in Washington state, decided to walk off the job. Like all strikes, the point of the work stoppage was to inflict financial consequences on a recalcitrant management side: to show the bosses that their employees were united in shared interest and mutual protection and that it would cost them less money to negotiate in good faith and agree to the workers’ demands than to continue to fight the union for less favorable, more exploitative conditions. When the teamsters began their strike, 16 of the barrel mixing trucks were full. They drove them back to the Glacier Northwest lot and left them there.
But if you don’t mix concrete, it hardens, and becomes useless. If this happens in a barrel truck, sometimes that can cause damage to the truck, too. When Glacier Northwest realized that their teamster employees had gone on strike, non-union workers were able to remove the concrete over the course of five hours, averting damage to the trucks. But they lost the use of all the concrete that had been mixed in those 16 barrel trucks that day.
This injury – the loss of 16 trucks’ worth of concrete to a regional construction supplier in the north-west – is the pretext that the US supreme court used this week to weaken the National Labor Relations Board and deal a blow to the right to strike.
In the case, Glacier Northwest v International Brotherhood of Teamsters, eight of the court’s nine justices found that management could sue the union for the damage caused to their property during the strike. Only Justice Jackson dissented. In addition to encouraging companies to sue their workers over strikes and ensuring that unions will pre-emptively avoid strikes or adopt less effective tactics to protect themselves from liability, the ruling also opens a wide new avenue for union-busting litigators to evade the authority of the National Labor Relations Board – the federal body that was created by Congress specifically to handle such conflicts and enforce workers’ rights.
The decision, then, furthers two of the supreme court’s major long-term projects: the erosion of labor protections, and the weakening of administrative agencies, whose expertise the court routinely ignores and whose authority the justices seem determined to usurp for themselves.
It might risk reinforcing the dramatically low standards for the supreme court’s behavior to note that the majority opinion, authored by Amy Coney Barrett, did not represent the worst of all possible outcomes. Barrett included some limiting language in her writing that preserves the possibility of binding NLRB oversight in these lawsuits. She clarified that unions do have some right to time their strikes in order to maximize financial damage to management – a move that would protect, say, the right of Amazon workers to initiate work stoppages during the holiday shipping rush, as they did last year. The gestures toward a continued right to strike appear designed to secure the votes of Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor, who joined the majority, and to dilute the power of Samuel Alito, Neil Gorsuch and Clarence Thomas, who wanted to gut NLRB authority over strike-related litigation entirely.
But it is important to consider Glacier Northwest in context: in recent years, the court has made it easier for companies to bar their employees from bringing class-action lawsuits, made it harder for public-sector unions to collect dues and struck down a California law that allowed unions to recruit agricultural workers on farms. The new ruling, which finds that strikes are often illegal when they lead to damage to employers’ property, only furthers their long project of making it harder for workers to join a union, easier for employers to break one up, and more legally risky for workers to take the kinds of action that can actually elicit concessions from the boss.
It will get worse. If they get their way – a less procedurally complicated case, a more amenable vote from Roberts, Barrett or Kavanaugh – the court’s most extreme conservatives will shape a bleak future for American labor. Their aim is to all but eliminate rights to organize and strike that are enjoyed by people in the most important, foundational and meaningful part of their public lives: the workplace.
“Workers are not indentured servants, bound to continue laboring until any planned work stoppage would be as painless as possible for their master,” Jackson wrote in her dissent. But that is the labor settlement that at least three members of the extremist conservative wing hope to enact. There is only one direction that this court’s labor jurisprudence is going.
The ruling comes at a moment when the American labor movement, long dormant and defeated, is experiencing something like a small resurgence, however timid and sporadic. According to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the number of unionized workers grew last year in both the public and private sectors, with the biggest increases in sectors like transportation and warehousing, arts and entertainment and durable goods manufacturing.
This growth has been accompanied by highly visible, media-savvy worker organizing drives among journalists, fast-food workers and graduate student instructors, and comes on the heels of high-profile strikes by groups ranging from Oakland teachers to Hollywood writers. Since 2021, this union resurgence has been aided in no small part by the Biden NLRB, which has been unusually hospitable to labor’s claims, even for a Democratic administration.
More and more workers are saying that they want to be a part of a union – and more and more of them are finding ways around the many and onerous obstacles designed to prevent them from forming one. Given the growing power of American unions, maybe the anti-worker court is right to be scared.

Hello everyone. This is my first time posting on Reddit ever, I guess you could say I’m desperate for answers.
I’m a child of divorce and when my mom died my first year in college at age 18 it threw my life into a scramble.
Essentially, I’ll omit most details but I need to know if anyone else has expertise or experience regarding specific questions I have.
For some background, my parents divorced when I was two, my mother tried to get full custody but my dad fought in court for joint custody and got it. My mother brought my dad to court four separate times and he paid her child support until I was 18 was my understanding. I spent my childhood going from house to house eventually on what would become a weekly basis.
My sister, two years older, left for college before me so my parents arranged a plan, or had already arranged a plan with the divorce agreement, for how they planned to contribute to our college expenses.
They made an agreement of a benchmark tuition cost at a reference college and agreed to split that amount in support paid towards our school.
So when I was in my first year my mom died.
She had setup a trust which included the disbursements for the college support my parents had agreed upon.
She also had a life insurance policy which she made her sister the beneficiary of, so she could deposit it into the trust.
My father did not intend to pay after she died insisting that 1) he doesn’t have to honor a contract with a dead person, And 2) pointed out that depositing the life insurance into the trust is possibly illegal, and that life insurance is supposed to be for the purpose of keeping the lives of dependents together.
At that time I was caught in the middle of the conflict, receiving half of my previously provided, necessary school expenses from the trust/trustee (my moms sister), and the other half previously paid by my father missing.
So essentially, one way of summing this up is that, at the time, my dad was refusing to pay and the trustees were refusing to pay the extra, and I was caught in the middle.
It’s been a long time since then and I’m leaving out other details, but I’m trying to settle grudges in the family by getting to the truth about some things.
My sister is still upset with my dad about not paying at that time.
But my dad says life insurance should have gone to us and been able to pay for our school, not gone into the trust, and had he died and done what she did with the life insurance, his name would be mud.
I understand also that they may have had a divorce agreement describing the college financial commitments, but I have never seen that document to confirm.
At the time my dad was refusing to pay for college, initially the trust was keeping money out of my hands to try and pressure my dad to pay. My moms sister(my aunt) I think mentioned their divorce agreement at one point perhaps saying something like I could legally go after my dad for the money through the divorce agreement.
But upon consideration, remembering this, I did research and found out their “representative” would be the responsible party to sue and collect. I can only assume that would be the trustees.
So with all this considered… And much more, it seems to me like my mom didn’t want my dad to “benefit” from her life insurance, and was using the trustees to soft bluff, by not paying, but also not being willing to sue him for payment. Leaving it to be mine and my dads “problem.”
I consider this whole setup of using me/the kids well-being as leverage pretty messed up, and to me it feels more spiteful towards dad than loving towards my sister and I. So I can appreciate my dads points about life insurance pretty much.
But my sister feels like him not paying randomly after she died is pretty messed up alone.
So I have questions if anyone has any experiences or knowledge like this. I feel like I have no reference at all for what actually is “supposed to happen” with life insurance in divorced situations like my parents.
Again my dad justifies his not paying with how my mom handled the life insurance.
But it’s pretty dumb because I was basically being advised to consider legal action against the other by both sides. The way I see it my mom and dad forced me into the middle of their financial war at the time, potentially by how she handled the life insurance.
I think my mom knew my dad would want to stop paying as much as possible if not completely. But I don’t think my mom meant to leave me the responsibility to sue my dad to get my college expenses from him, nor do I think that she expected her trustees to sue my dad. The only thing keeping my dad paying, was my moms willingness to sue him when she was alive. When she died, there was no one else willing to sue him if he didn’t pay and he knew it.
So I personally just think it was a bad spiteful plan because they weren’t willing to sue but they were willing to let us kids go without to try and pressure him to keep paying aside from how the life insurance was handled.
Anyway I know it’s a big complex situation and I’ve left out more than you can imagine intentionally but if anyone has experience with similar situations or these questions about life insurance and how divorce agreements are handled or enforced after a death. would love to get a better reference to try and view my own past situation from and possibly talk with my sister about.

Hello fellow Diablo enthusiasts,
I wanted to take a moment to address some of the concerns and complaints that have been circulating regarding Diablo 4. While the game is still in development and subject to change, it's essential to voice our opinions and provide constructive feedback in the hope of seeing improvements over time. Here are some prevalent concerns that I've come across, along with potential solutions that could enhance the overall player experience:
​
Quality of Life:

1. Gem Pouch and Nightmare Sigil Pouch: The limited inventory space for gems and the fact that the Nightmare Sigil Pouch shares a tab with consumables can become frustrating. It would be great to have a separate, dedicated pouch for gems, allowing us to pick them up without worrying about inventory constraints.
   
2. Ear Pouch: Currently, ears share inventory space without any significant use. Introducing a purpose for ears, such as using them as a currency for specific rewards or crafting materials, would make them more valuable and encourage players to collect and utilize them.
   
3. Horse Sprint and Barricades: It would be a great addition if horse sprinting allowed us to leap over barricades, making traversal more seamless and convenient. This feature would be especially helpful when exploring the world or engaging in fast-paced combat encounters.
   
4. Vendors and Travel Distances: Moving vendors closer to each other within towns or introducing additional vendors would lessen the need for excessive travel. Alternatively, allowing horse sprint and abilities to be used within town limits would also help in reducing travel time and enhancing convenience.
   

​
Design Decisions:

1. Looking for Group Tool and World Chat: The absence of a looking for group tool or world chat feature has been a point of contention. Implementing these features would facilitate easier grouping and foster a stronger sense of community within the game.
   
2. Gems and Ears: To address the issue of redundant gems and unused ears, it would be beneficial to introduce more ways to utilize them. For example, higher-level gem enhancements, gem-related crafting recipes, or rare and powerful items that require a combination of gems and ears as a crafting material.
   
3. Repeatable Campaign Bosses: Allowing players to face campaign bosses repeatedly, even after completion, in the form of whispers activities would provide additional challenges and rewards. Furthermore, it would prevent the unintentional brick of Hardcore characters not being able to complete Hardcore campaign boss kill achievments when utilizing the skip campaign feature (after being completed on a softcore character).
   
4. Lack of Build Diversity: A common concern is the limited number of viable endgame builds for each class. Expanding the range of viable build options would promote greater diversity and encourage experimentation among players.
   
5. Helltide Density: Increasing the density of Helltide encounters would create more thrilling and action-packed moments, enhancing the overall excitement and engagement of endgame content.
   

(Opinion) Unsatisfactory Endgame Loops:

1. Dungeons: The lack of diversity in map layouts and events within dungeons can make the endgame experience feel repetitive. Introducing a wider variety of layouts and unique events for each dungeon would add depth and excitement to the gameplay.
   
2. Campaign Bosses as Uber Versions: Utilizing campaign bosses as uber versions would provide an additional challenge for players, rewarding them with unique loot and further incentivizing exploration and progression. Currently we only have Uber Lilith. It feels like a wasted opportunity to not include Andariel, Duriel, Astaroth and Elijah.
   

It's important to remember that Diablo 4 is still in development, and the development team values our feedback. By addressing these concerns constructively, we can contribute to the improvement and evolution of the game. Let's continue to provide feedback, share ideas, and work together to shape Diablo 4 into the best experience it can be.
Stay vigilant, Nephalem!

I have had the very unfortunate experience of an Allianz policy which I now find is Tower. I had a medical emergency last Thursday and am alone in a Canadian hospital. Despite my pain I have decided while I lay in bed to warn others off Tower insurance and its brands.
Here is what they don't tell you when they take your money - 1. what is the average time it takes to approve a claim? This is impt as until they approve it it is still in what they call "review" and up till then you are entitled to NOTHING. This is the period you have to pay for yourself. You need credit card cover and cash resources for this time. Doctor fees are separate to hospital fees and they do not accept credit card.
I have been gaslighted on this question and still don't know the answer. In my case its been six days to get this "review" done. There is only question they have to check - did you have pre existing conditions?. Despite the seemingly easiness of this to prove it has taken 6 days to get this approval and it does not include approval to have surgery which is scheduled for me for tomorrow. I have had to borrow money in the interim to pay doctors fees thus far.

1. What is the cover in NZ over weekends and holidays? I can tell you there is none. It gives Allianz which is operated from a call centre in Australia the perfect excuse to do nothing. Every day I got told that technical approval had to come from New Zealand. However the NZ ers were never there. What is technical approval? I never found out.
   
2. Will I have a case manager? Well my claim letter last Friday said Jason - whom incidentally was never there and I don't believe I have ever spoken to. I have however spoken to a range of others who have no responsibility to help as its not their case.
   
3. Will my case manager be proactive? I asked and asked for them to call me but never got a call. Nothing ever appeared to be done unless I phoned to follow up - all I got was I am escalating this to my manager.
   
4. Will the people I deal with have empathy? Well in my experience these people have no idea what it is like to be seriously ill, alone in an overseas country and stressed over paying bills because they couldn't be bothered to process the claim within reasonable time. I have already had to borrow money and I cannot be released until the bills are paid. Do they realise the stress and distress this causes? No is the answer and they dont care.
   

Isn't the reason you pay for travel insurance is - to avoid all this - the stress and cost of getting sick? To feel you are in good hands and cared for? These people just dont get it.
A couple of times I have asked them if they know what it is like but they continued on their hardnosed not my fault explanations.
My policy provides for an accompanying person for me but they refuse to provide any approval for that or even answer the questions asked days ago. Anything to increase corporate profit hey Tower and not fulfill the contract you sold me.
What is written on paper is not what you get. I now cannot progress with urgent surgery as the insurance company hasn't given approval. This situation STINKS. So I lie here distressed and in pain waiting for the insurance in their own good time get to my file. I wait alone and upset because they haven't approved anyone to help me despite it being covered in my policy. They require all covalescing expenses to be approved in advance but haven't given for that approval either. So here I am, not knowing whether I am having surgery, where I go after this, or have anyone to help me ALL because of an insurance company that lied to me as to what service it really provides. It's not the words on the paper that count. They mean NOTHING. It's the actions that count. And this company's lack of action is just making me sicker. Avoid TOWER travel insurance at all costs. If anyone can help me with this. Please comment below.

I'm a lower middle class male (28) and I need to know how to grow my wealth. I live in Texas.
My salary is $58k pre tax. After taxes, medical/life insurance, Roth, and misc things, I only see $42k deposited (26 payments byweekly of $1610).
I grew up in poverty and my dad taught me very little about money. He was always very frugal with his money so I learned that from him.
All of my expenses are about $1,000 a month combined. I own the property that I live on and my car is payed off. I have $0 in debt but I do have 4 credit cards that I use for everything then pay off every month before the statement/interest hits.
For cash, I have $3800 in Amex HYSA at 4.0% APY. I use that as a quasi investing/savings/emergency fund. I also (stupidly) invested $9,000 in stocks that are now worth $5,700 (I haven't sold the stock) Vanguard information Technology ETF (VGT).
What are some recommendations going forward? Should I sell stock and reposition? Should I get out of stocks altogether? Are CDs a better alternative? What do you guys think?

Best Nursing Research Topics and Ideas

Best Nursing Research Topics and Ideas

Evidence-Based Practice in Nursing

This topic explores the integration of current research evidence into clinical decision-making. It covers the importance of staying updated with the latest research, identifying credible sources, implementing evidence-based interventions, and evaluating outcomes to improve nursing care.

Evidence-based practice (EBP) is an essential nursing approach that combines the best available research evidence, clinical expertise, and patient preferences to guide clinical decision-making and enhance patient outcomes. It focuses on the utilization of current research findings to inform nursing interventions, policies, and procedures.

Key elements of evidence-based nursing practice include:

• Research Evidence: This refers to the most recent and relevant research studies, systematic reviews, and meta-analyses that demonstrate the efficacy of nursing interventions, diagnostic procedures, and patient care outcomes. Evidence of research can be obtained from credible sources such as scholarly journals, databases, and guidelines for evidence-based practice.
• Clinical Expertise: Nurses contribute to the decision-making process with their clinical expertise, knowledge, and experience. This requires integrating their practical skills, critical thinking skills, and knowledge of patient preferences into the framework of evidence-based practice.
• Patient Values and Preferences: In evidence-based practice, it is essential to recognize and incorporate the values, beliefs, and preferences of individual patients. This involves gaining an understanding of the patient's unique circumstances, cultural heritage, and personal objectives in order to provide individualized care.

The implementation of evidence-based nursing practice typically entails the following steps:

1. Asking Clinical Questions: Formulating well-defined and answerable clinical questions is a crucial starting point. Questions are often framed using the PICO (Patient/Problem, Intervention, Comparison, Outcome) framework to guide the search for relevant evidence.
2. Literature Search: Conducting a comprehensive search for the best available evidence related to the clinical question. This involves using databases, scholarly journals, and trusted sources to locate research studies, systematic reviews, and clinical practice guidelines.
3. Appraisal of Evidence: Evaluating the quality, validity, and relevance of the identified research articles. This step involves critically analyzing study designs, sample sizes, data collection methods, statistical analyses, and potential biases.
4. Integration of Evidence: Combining the findings from multiple studies and assessing their applicability to the specific patient population or clinical setting. This involves synthesizing the evidence to determine the most appropriate and effective nursing interventions.
5. Application of Evidence: Implementing the evidence-based interventions or recommendations into nursing practice. This includes adapting the evidence to the specific patient's context, considering any potential barriers or facilitators, and collaborating with interdisciplinary healthcare teams.
6. Evaluation and Continuous Improvement: Assessing the outcomes of the implemented interventions and evaluating their effectiveness. This step involves monitoring patient outcomes, identifying areas for improvement, and adjusting the nursing practice based on the feedback received.

Remember that this is only a concise overview of evidence-based nursing practice. Feel free to inquire for more precise information or if you have any other inquiries!

Evidence Based Practice Nursing Research Topics

• Is it possible to improve the quality of care through the implementation of evidence-based nursing practices?
• What is the prevailing viewpoint regarding the implementation of evidence-based palliative care practices in U.S. inpatient settings?
• This paper aims to explore the ways in which evidence-based nursing approaches can be utilized to accommodate patient preferences in healthcare settings.
• What are the pragmatic ramifications of the theoretical underpinnings of evidence-based nursing?
• Examine the empirical backing for the stipulations of Continuing Professional Development in the realm of nursing education. In what ways does the utilization of evidence-based practice facilitate the process of treatment selection in the provision of nursing care?
• The present study examines the perspectives of senior nurses regarding the implementation of evidence-based practice in the provision of nursing care. What is the correlation between nursing education and the attainment of professional excellence in the field?
• The utilization of an evidence-based approach in the recruitment and screening of nursing staff carries significant implications.
• The implementation of evidence-based nursing practices for individuals with disabilities in inpatient facilities.
• The utilization of evidence-based practice in the delivery of mental health nursing care.
• The evidence-based nursing approach is widely recommended due to its effectiveness in improving patient outcomes and enhancing the quality of care provided.
• The historical context of evidence-based nursing practices will be elucidated in this discourse.
• Examine the disparity that exists between factual knowledge and nursing practices that are grounded in evidence.
• What are the primary obstacles encountered in the implementation of evidence-based nursing practice?
• What is the nursing staff's disposition towards the implementation of evidence-based practice?
• In what ways can social media be utilized to deliver nursing care that is grounded in evidence-based practice?
• What is the definition of safety in the context of evidence-based nursing care?
• Examine the application of the evidence-based approach within a practical setting.
• In what ways can a nurse utilize evidence-based practice in order to facilitate self-care?

Impact of Technology in Nursing Practice

This topic explores how technology advancements have affected nursing care, patient outcomes, and ethical considerations. It could cover areas such as electronic health records, telehealth, wearable devices, and the integration of technology into nursing workflows.

In recent years, technological advancements have had a profound impact on nursing practice, transforming how nurses provide care, communicate, and manage patient data.

Here are a few significant ways in which technology has affected nursing practice:

EHRs have supplanted paper-based documentation systems and are now an integral element of nursing practice. Electronic health records (EHRs) allow nurses to access patient information, monitor medical histories, document care provided, and share information with other healthcare professionals. This improves care coordination, increases accuracy, and facilitates the exchange of patient information between various healthcare settings.

• Telehealth and Remote Monitoring: Telehealth technology enables nurses to provide remote care, bridging the divide between patients and healthcare providers. It enables video conferencing and digital platforms for virtual consultations, remote monitoring of vital signs, and the delivery of healthcare services. Telehealth has expanded access to care, particularly for rural or marginalized patients, and enhanced healthcare outcomes through early detection and prompt interventions.
• Wearable Devices and Health Apps: The proliferation of wearable devices, such as fitness monitors and smartwatches, and health-related mobile applications have enabled patients to actively partake in their own health management. The data collected by these devices can be utilized by nurses to monitor patients' physical activity, sleep patterns, vital signs, and medication compliance. This data can facilitate personalized care planning, health education, and preventative measures.
• Point-of-Care Technology: Point-of-care technology consists of devices such as portable diagnostic instruments, barcode scanners, and infusion pumps. These tools allow nurses to collect immediate and accurate patient data, confirm medication administration, and conduct diagnostic tests in real time. By providing nurses with up-to-date information to guide their clinical decisions, point-of-care technology improves efficiency, reduces errors, and enhances patient safety.
• Clinical Decision Support Systems (CDSS) are computer-based instruments that support clinical decision-making by providing evidence-based recommendations, alerts, and reminders. These systems allow nurses to receive real-time alerts regarding potential drug interactions, allergies, and preventative care interventions. CDSSs advance evidence-based practice, minimize errors, and improve patient outcomes.
• The use of robotics and automation in healthcare settings is progressively increasing. Such duties as medication delivery, patient transportation, and disinfection can be aided by robots. Automation technologies expedite workflows, reduce manual duties, and free up nurses' time to focus on direct patient care.
• Data Analytics and Health Informatics: As the volume of healthcare data continues to grow, nurses can use data analytics and health informatics tools to extract meaningful insights, identify trends, and make informed decisions. Data analysis can assist in recognizing disease outbreak patterns, monitoring quality indicators, and enhancing patient outcomes.

It is essential to recognize that the incorporation of technology into nursing practice raises ethical concerns, such as patient confidentiality, data security, and assuring equitable access to technology.The impact of technology on nursing practice has resulted in numerous positive outcomes, including increased efficiency, enhanced communication, improved access to information, and increased patient engagement. To provide high-quality, patient-centered care, nurses must continue to adjust to technological advances, embrace continuous learning, and effectively leverage technology.Please contact me if you require additional information or have any other queries!

Ethics and professionalism in nursing practice

Ethics and professionalism are fundamental aspects of nursing practice that govern nurses' interactions with patients, coworkers, and the healthcare system as a whole. Professionalism comprises the behaviors, attitudes, and responsibilities that reflect the nursing profession's commitment to providing safe, compassionate, and ethical care.

Here are a number of essential elements of nursing ethics and professionalism:

• Ethical Principles: Nurses adhere to ethical principles which serve as decision-making frameworks. Common ethical nursing principles include:
• Autonomy: respecting the right of patients to make their own decisions and providing them with the information they need to make educated decisions.
• Beneficence entails acting in the best interest of patients, promoting their well-being, and ensuring that the benefits of care transcend the risks.
• Avoiding injury to patients and avoiding actions or omissions that could cause harm.
• Justice: Allocating healthcare resources fairly and equitably, promoting equitable access to care, and treating all patients impartially.

Maintaining trust, maintaining promises, and accepting responsibility for one's actions and professional responsibilities constitutes loyalty.Sincerity, candor, and openness in communication with patients, families, and colleagues constitute veracity.Nurses uphold patient confidentiality by recognizing their right to privacy and protecting their personal health information. When managing patient data, they adhere to legal and ethical standards, such as the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), and ensure that information is shared only when necessary.

• Informed Consent: Nurses play a vital role in obtaining patients' informed consent prior to performing any procedures or treatments. This involves explaining the purpose, risks, benefits, and alternatives of the proposed intervention and ensuring that the patient comprehends the provided information. Nurses advocate for patient autonomy and ensure that assent is voluntary and founded on a comprehensive comprehension of the situation.
• End-of-Life Care: Ethical considerations frequently arise in situations involving end-of-life care. Nurses participate in discussions regarding advance care planning, resuscitation, palliative care, and family support during the dying process. The promotion of comfort, dignity, and reverence for dying patients is guided by ethical principles.
• Ethical Difficulties: Nurses are frequently confronted with ethical dilemmas requiring critical reasoning and ethical decision-making. Ethical quandaries may entail conflicts between patient autonomy and beneficence, justice and resource allocation, or conflicts of interest. To navigate these complex situations, nurses rely on ethical frameworks and consult with colleagues and ethics committees.
• Maintaining professional boundaries is essential in nursing practice to ensure appropriate patient relationships. To safeguard patient autonomy, confidentiality, and trust, nurses must establish distinct boundaries. Dual relationships, conflicts of interest, and personal involvement with patients that could compromise professional judgment or objectivity are avoided.
• Professional Development: To enhance their knowledge, skills, and ethical decision-making abilities, nurses engage in lifelong learning and continuous professional development. They remain current on evolving ethical guidelines, research, and healthcare policies in order to provide care that is both evidence-based and ethically sound.
• Interprofessional Collaboration: Nurses collaborate with counterparts from other healthcare disciplines to provide patients with ethical, holistic care. Optimal patient outcomes require effective communication, respect for diverse perspectives, and the promotion of collaboration.

It is essential for nurses to understand ethical principles, ruminate on ethical dilemmas, and seek guidance when confronted with difficult situations. Codes of ethics, professional organizations, and nursing ethics committees provide nurses with resources and support for upholding ethical standards and maintaining professionalism.Consider this

Nursing Ethics and Professionalism

This topic delves into the ethical issues and dilemmas nurses may encounter, including patient confidentiality, end-of-life care, informed consent, and resource allocation. It focuses on the importance of maintaining professional conduct and upholding ethical principles in nursing practice.

Ethics and professionalism are fundamental aspects of nursing practice that govern nurses' interactions with patients, coworkers, and the healthcare system as a whole. Professionalism comprises the behaviors, attitudes, and responsibilities that reflect the nursing profession's commitment to providing safe, compassionate, and ethical care.Here are a number of essential elements of nursing ethics and professionalism:

• Ethical Principles: Nurses adhere to ethical principles which serve as decision-making frameworks. Common ethical nursing principles include:
• Autonomy: respecting the right of patients to make their own decisions and providing them with the information they need to make educated decisions.
• Beneficence entails acting in the best interest of patients, promoting their well-being, and ensuring that the benefits of care transcend the risks.
• Avoiding injury to patients and avoiding actions or omissions that could cause harm.
• Justice: Allocating healthcare resources fairly and equitably, promoting equitable access to care, and treating all patients impartially.

Maintaining trust, maintaining promises, and accepting responsibility for one's actions and professional responsibilities constitutes loyalty.Sincerity, candor, and openness in communication with patients, families, and colleagues constitute veracity.Nurses uphold patient confidentiality by recognizing their right to privacy and protecting their personal health information. When managing patient data, they adhere to legal and ethical standards, such as the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), and ensure that information is shared only when necessary.Informed Consent: Nurses play a vital role in obtaining patients' informed consent prior to performing any procedures or treatments. This involves explaining the purpose, risks, benefits, and alternatives of the proposed intervention and ensuring that the patient comprehends the provided information. Nurses advocate for patient autonomy and ensure that assent is voluntary and founded on a comprehensive comprehension of the situation.End-of-Life Care: Ethical considerations frequently arise in situations involving end-of-life care. Nurses participate in discussions regarding advance care planning, resuscitation, palliative care, and family support during the dying process. The promotion of comfort, dignity, and reverence for dying patients is guided by ethical principles.Ethical Difficulties: Nurses are frequently confronted with ethical dilemmas requiring critical reasoning and ethical decision-making. Ethical quandaries may entail conflicts between patient autonomy and beneficence, justice and resource allocation, or conflicts of interest. To navigate these complex situations, nurses rely on ethical frameworks and consult with colleagues and ethics committees.Maintaining professional boundaries is essential in nursing practice to ensure appropriate patient relationships. To safeguard patient autonomy, confidentiality, and trust, nurses must establish distinct boundaries. Dual relationships, conflicts of interest, and personal involvement with patients that could compromise professional judgment or objectivity are avoided.Professional Development: To enhance their knowledge, skills, and ethical decision-making abilities, nurses engage in lifelong learning and continuous professional development. They remain current on evolving ethical guidelines, research, and healthcare policies in order to provide care that is both evidence-based and ethically sound.Interprofessional Collaboration: Nurses collaborate with counterparts from other healthcare disciplines to provide patients with ethical, holistic care. Optimal patient outcomes require effective communication, respect for diverse perspectives, and the promotion of collaboration.It is essential for nurses to understand ethical principles, ruminate on ethical dilemmas, and seek guidance when confronted with difficult situations. Codes of ethics, professional organizations, and nursing ethics committees provide nurses with resources and support for upholding ethical standards and maintaining professionalism.Consider this

Nursing Leadership and Management

Analyze the role of nursing leaders in healthcare organizations, including strategies for effective communication, conflict resolution, delegation, and promoting a positive work environment.

Leadership and management in nursing play essential roles in shaping healthcare organizations, fostering effective collaboration, and promoting positive patient outcomes. Nursing directors provide nursing staff with guidance, support, and mentorship, whereas nurse managers supervise daily operations and ensure the deliverance of high-quality patient care. Here are important aspects of nursing management and leadership:

• Leadership Styles: Various leadership styles, including transformational leadership, democratic leadership, and servant leadership, can be adopted in nursing. Transformational leaders inspire and motivate their teams to accomplish shared objectives, whereas democratic leaders involve and value the input of their employees in decision-making. The needs of their team members are prioritized by servant leaders, who support their growth and development. Different situations may call for various leadership styles, and effective nurse leaders are able to adapt their approach accordingly.
• Communication and Collaboration: Nursing leaders and managers must have excellent communication skills. They must be able to communicate effectively with team members, patients, families, and healthcare professionals. Clear and transparent communication facilitates collaboration, encourages partnership, and improves patient safety. Additionally, nurse leaders advocate for their teams by ensuring that their perspectives are heard and contributions are acknowledged.
• Strategic Planning and Decision-Making Nurse leaders and administrators engage in strategic planning to establish organizational objectives, establish priorities, and effectively allocate resources. They are involved in the decision-making processes that affect nursing practice, patient care, and resource utilization. Multiple factors, including patient requirements, evidence-based practices, financial constraints, and quality improvement initiatives, must be considered when making strategic decisions.
• Staffing and Workforce Management: Nurse administrators are responsible for staffing facilities and ensuring adequate nurse-to-patient ratios to ensure the delivery of secure, high-quality care. They supervise nursing personnel recruitment, retention, and development. Leaders in nursing advocate for safe staffing levels and assist their teams with burden management and staffing challenges. In addition, they cultivate a positive work environment that encourages professional development, job satisfaction, and work-life balance.
• Change Management: Nursing leaders play an essential role in influencing and managing change in healthcare organizations. They facilitate the adoption of new policies, procedures, and technological advances. Change management involves confronting resistance, involving stakeholders, and assisting employees during transitional periods. Effective change management facilitates the adaptation of nurses to new practices, enhances patient care, and ensures the successful implementation of innovations in healthcare.
• Quality Improvement and Patient Safety: It is the responsibility of nursing executives and administrators to foster a culture of continuous quality improvement and patient safety. They facilitate the implementation of evidence-based practices, participate in quality improvement initiatives, and monitor patient outcomes. In addition, they promote the reporting and analysis of adverse events, near-misses, and medication errors, nurturing a culture of openness and error-based learning.
• In their responsibilities, nursing executives and administrators are confronted with ethical dilemmas. They must navigate complex situations and make ethical decisions consistent with the patient-centered care, justice, autonomy, and beneficence principles. When confronted with difficult ethical dilemmas, they promote ethical behavior, encourage ethical reflection among employees, and seek guidance from ethics committees or consultants.
• Mentorship and Professional Development: Nurse leaders and administrators support the professional growth of their nursing personnel. They offer mentorship, guidance, and growth opportunities. They foster a culture of lifelong learning, encourage employees to pursue advanced degrees and certifications, and support leadership development programs to cultivate the next generation of nursing leaders.

Leadership and management in nursing are indispensable for optimizing patient outcomes, assuring effective collaboration, and establishing positive work environments. Effective nursing leaders and managers foster a culture of excellence, collaboration, and constant improvement.Remember that this is merely an introduction to nursing leadership and management. Feel free to inquire for more precise information or if you have any other inquiries!

Mental Health Nursing

Explore the challenges and strategies for providing holistic care to patients with mental health disorders, including therapeutic communication techniques, medication management, and promoting recovery.Mental health nursing is a subspecialty of nursing that concentrates on the care and support of people with mental health disorders or difficulties. Here is a more thorough explanation of number 5, particularly as it pertains to mental health nursing:Mental health nurses perform a vital role in the assessment, diagnosis, treatment, and ongoing management of people with mental health disorders. They operate in settings such as psychiatric hospitals, outpatient clinics, community mental health centers, and residential facilities. To provide holistic care for patients, mental health nurses collaborate with other healthcare professionals, such as psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and occupational therapists.Assessment and Diagnosis: Mental health nurses conduct comprehensive assessments to collect data on the mental health history, current symptoms, and psychosocial factors of their patients. They use standardized assessment instruments and interview techniques to identify mental health disorders, identify risk factors, and establish a baseline for treatment planning. Alongside psychiatrists and other mental health specialists, mental health nurses may also participate in the diagnostic procedure.The development of therapeutic relationships is a fundamental component of mental health nursing. The establishment of trust, empathy, and rapport between nurses and patients creates a secure and non-judgmental environment in which patients can express their thoughts, emotions, and concerns. Effective communication, collaboration, and the delivery of patient-centered care are facilitated by solid therapeutic relationships.Mental health nurses frequently play a role in the medication management of individuals with mental health disorders. They inform patients about their prescribed medications, including possible adverse effects, dosage instructions, and the significance of medication adherence. Mental health nurses monitor the efficacy of medications, assess for adverse reactions, and collaborate with psychiatrists to make necessary adjustments to medication regimens.Psychoeducation and Health Promotion: Mental health nurses provide psychoeducation about mental health disorders, treatment options, coping strategies, and self-care practices to individuals, families, and communities. They empower patients to actively participate in their own recovery, educate them on relapse warning signs, and offer ongoing support. Additionally, mental health nurses promote mental health and well-being via health promotion initiatives, such as stress management, lifestyle modifications, and community education programs.Mental health nurses are trained in crisis intervention techniques and play a crucial role in the management of psychiatric emergencies. They assess individuals in crisis, provide immediate assistance, and facilitate interventions that ensure safety and stability. Additionally, mental health nurses aid in the development of safety plans, which define strategies and resources for preventing injury and managing crises.Collaborative Care and Interdisciplinary Approach: In order to provide patients with comprehensive care, mental health nursing frequently requires collaboration with a multidisciplinary team. Mental health nurses collaborate with psychiatrists, psychologists, and other healthcare professionals to develop and implement treatment programs, coordinate services, and offer ongoing support. Collaborative care ensures a comprehensive approach that addresses the physical, emotional, social, and psychological requirements of those with mental health disorders.Mental health nurses advocate for the rights and requirements of individuals with mental health disorders. They promote destigmatization, combat discriminatory practices, and work to expand access to mental healthcare services. In addition to providing emotional support and assisting patients in traversing healthcare systems, mental health nurses connect patients to community resources and support networks.To provide care for individuals with mental health disorders, mental health nursing requires specialized knowledge, skills, and a compassionate attitude. Mental health nurses contribute to the recovery and well-being of their patients by addressing their unique requirements and providing support throughout their mental health journey.

Nursing research and evidence-based practice

Nursing research and evidence-based practice are essential components of patient-centered, high-quality care. They involve the systematic collection, analysis, and application of evidence to enhance patient outcomes and inform nursing practice.

Geriatric Nursing

Investigate the specialized care needs of elderly patients, including age-related conditions, medication management, promoting independence, and addressing social and emotional well-being.

Elderly Care Nursing Paper Topics

• Strategies for mitigating cardiovascular risk in geriatric patients.
• Safeguarding the elderly population from Parkinson's disease.
• What are the necessary criteria for the provision of critical care?
• Prevention of Joint Disorders
• Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS) is a neurological disorder that is characterized by an irresistible urge to move the legs, often accompanied by uncomfortable sensations in the legs. This condition can cause difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, which can lead to daytime fatigue and impaired functioning. RLS affects a significant portion of the population and can have a negative impact on quality of life.
• Analysis of atrial fibrillation.
• Strategies for stroke prevention
• What constitutes the fundamental basis of osteoarthritis management in geriatric individuals?
• The symptoms and interventions associated with age-related hearing loss.
• The etiology, prophylaxis, and management of malnutrition in geriatric individuals.
• Outline a regimen of low-impact exercises aimed at reducing the risk of bone fractures and falls.
• The benefits of individualized geriatric care.
• What are the salient factors to consider in the management of diabetes among elderly patients?
• Strategizing and coordinating the discharge of geriatric patients.
• Explore strategies for identifying and mitigating suicide risk among elderly patients.
• Strategies for enhancing the comfort of a patient in the final stages of life.
• In what ways can technology augment the delivery of care for elderly patients?
• In the event that an elderly individual refuses to take their prescribed medication, what actions should be taken?
• What are the methods for identifying an elderly person who has been subjected to abuse?
• What are the reasons behind the tendency of certain elderly individuals to exhibit defiant behavior?

Pediatric Nursing

Discuss the unique aspects of nursing care for infants, children, and adolescents, including growth and development milestones, immunization schedules, family-centered care, and managing common pediatric conditions.

Pediatric Nursing Research Topics

• The etiology and management of ADH.
• Enhancements to neo-natal wards that may benefit newborns and young mothers.
• Pediatric patients who suffer from poor nutrition require appropriate treatment.
• Addressing the issue of diminished survival rates in pediatric cancer patients.
• Strategies for mitigating child injuries.
• What are the factors that contribute to child mortality?
• What is the influence of proper nutrition on the overall welfare of a juvenile individual?
• Prophylactic measures to mitigate the likelihood of intestinal parasitic infections.
• The emergence of chronic disorders in pediatric populations.
• Strategies for managing constipation in pediatric patients.
• The management of pediatric near-drowning cases is a critical aspect of emergency medicine.
• What is the primary cause of child mortality in the United States?
• What are the changes that have occurred in neonatal care over the past five decades?
• What are the optimal therapeutic approaches for addressing malnutrition in children?
• Do the existing measures aimed at preventing infant injury during childbirth demonstrate efficacy?
• What are the primary ethical considerations in pediatric care?
• What are the recommended strategies for preventing childhood obesity?
• What are the reasons for the ineffectiveness of contemporary approaches towards tackling childhood obesity?
• What are the underlying factors that contribute to seizures in children?
• Conduct an analysis of antibiotic resistance in pediatric populations.

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I am 23. So when I was 18, I realized that I am bisexual. I didn’t realize I am physically bi until I watched…certain vids online lol. I didn’t realize that I am romantically bi until I developed a crush on a girl in one of my classes. I believe I would’ve realized that I am bi in middle school if my parents and others in my life didn’t insist that I was straight. I first questioned my sexuality in the 6th grade. I think that’s when I noticed some attraction to female celebs.
Idk why it freaked me out and made me cry. Idk why I didn’t want to be into girls. Maybe it was cause the ABA I went through as a kid (I’m autistic) made me conditioned to behave “normally”. My parents and therapist at the time just told me that I am not gay or bisexual. Like, apparently that wasn’t an option. I think my brain tried its best to block out my feelings for girls until I had my gay awakenings at 18.
My dad isn’t accepting of me but with him, it’s that he’s being a dumb boomer. I don’t know what the hell to make of my mom’s lack of accepting me. She’d tell you she’s supportive of lgbt people but her actions say otherwise (unless it’s gay men) I’ve realized that she never wanted me to be queer based on these past experiences:
I had this friend in middle school I thought might be gay. The way my mom talked about how she assumed this girl was into me sounded like she was put off by this. My mother is literally more put off by a girl being into me more so than being sexually harassed. Also, in middle school, I watched “The Fosters”. My mom asked me rudely several times why I was watching a show about lesbians. She also told me I wasn’t allowed to watch Orange Is The New Black even though I was watching rated R movies that had straight sex scenes.
So I get to high school and have openly queer friends. One of my friends came out as bi (I think NB now? They identified as a girl at the time) and another came out as a lesbian. My mom didn’t seem to like to hear this. Later on in high school, she yelled at me because she was very put off by me discussing lgbt topics with her. She used “I’m an old person” as an excuse. With my bi friend, at first, my mom assumed they were actually a confused lesbian. Then, when they dated a guy, my mom assumed they were a confused straight girl.
So I had a couple friends in HS that I would do these fictional role play stories with. We would have characters. They were romantic stories but we were just playing characters- it wasn’t like there was interest. And so what if there was? I wasn’t into these girls and they weren’t into me but so what if there was attraction? I told my mom that I was doing this and she got upset. She told me to stop doing this so many times until I stopped. I eventually did at least one of the role plays in secret.
My assumption is she thought these girls were trying to get with me and that made her pissed. But she had no problem if one of my guy friends showed attraction to me. I did tell her I’m bi. She at first suggested it’s because I just find celebs attractive to look at and having lgbt friends made me assume that I am bi.
She also always acts like bi people will stray to one side. With me, she seems to think it’s men. She’s mentioned more recently she’s fine with me being with a woman but her indirect actions say otherwise. She acts weird when the topic of me liking women is brought up. When I told her about the girl I had feelings for in HS, she brought up multiple times how her name is weird. My mom has a less negative attitude at the prospect of me getting pregnant in college and having a baby in her home than towards me liking girls.
If it’s relevant, my mother is someone who has a very bad temper and she’s someone who I’ve realized has been trying to live vicariously through me for awhile. She is ridiculously obsessed with me finding an attractive man to the point where she was encouraging me to attract a 35 year old male yoga teacher who is in a 3 year relationship just because he is physically attractive.
She’s always wanted me to be this hyper feminine woman who wears makeup all the time, takes into account how attractive men find me, uses my appearance to get men to be interested in me and women to be friends with me, and be super into getting a conventionally attractive boyfriend- which are all qualities my mom has. This is not me and I don’t want it to be me. I don’t understand how my mom could claim to be accepting of me being with a woman but then do all this shit and then act like I’ll end up with a husband and children.
I’d hate to think that if I got a gf, my mom would find something to nitpick at her, especially her appearance (my mother is insanely obsessed with appearances). It would piss me the fuck off.
Edit: Also after I told my mom that I’m bi, she told me to not tell my aunt (her sister). Idk why but I felt she was concert that my aunt was going to encourage me to experiment with girls- which isn’t a bad thing. So what if I did that anyways? My aunt didn’t encourage me to do anything when I came out to her- she said that it’s beautiful that I like more than one gender lol.
Also when I told my mom that I find it difficult to tell if a woman is attracted to me or not, she was like “women are very difficult”- she only said this cause she has trouble making female friends cause she’s super judgmental and complains about work way too often.