Goodmorning coffee gif
Cooking, brewing, and roasting coffee--in gif form
2016.06.27 17:22 deathwishcoffee Cooking, brewing, and roasting coffee--in gif form
2016.11.22 22:55 tonybaby TeamGifBattles
#Coming Soon: Team Gif Battles 3 ######PREPARE YOURSELVES
2016.11.25 21:48 tonybaby TeamGifBattlesLounge
2023.06.01 19:22 Nice_Description7032 🙃
 | Make sure to report for disordered eating, friends 🤗 submitted by Nice_Description7032 to Drue_Basham_Bashing [link] [comments] |
2023.06.01 18:47 dxzdlt Highlighting Foodie's "HI BEEZZERS" livestream (live updates)
Hi all, Goodmorning. Chantal announced a live a few minutes ago but is waiting for people to arrive. There is practically no one else waiting for her.
submitted by dxzdlt to FoodieBeauty [link] [comments]
- Chantal begins her livestream reclined against the tacky blue couch. She greets her chat and chugs a bottle of water.
- Chantal is briefly annoyed because she chose to drink hot coffee on a hot day. She complains about the heat being unbearable.
- Chantal hits her Shisha. She makes it a point to mention that Harry is in the other room away from the smoke, but jokes about calling him BBQ.
- Chantal acknowledges the passing of Karate Joe, the only comment she makes about it is that she was aware of his health issues, as sometimes when they'd talk he would be on the floor.
- Chantal claims she is planning on being nice this stream and avoiding raging about reaction channels. That plan is very short-lived as she immediately falls into shitting on reaction channels.
- Chantal begins shit talking the women she worked with in the office. She complains bout them being rude and snobby, and directly addresses them to tell them she hates them all.
- Chantal expresses frustration about her health and inability to lose weight. She says this plus the the heat has made her hyper-irritated with her poor health.
- Chantal: "I don't know how people do the same boring consistent content everyday." She hits her Shisha again. Moments later she falls into falling into talking shit about reaction channels with her chat. Again, these are the same points I've highlighted time and time again, I won't even bother outlining any of it and if you don't see this point move for a while it's because she is still talking shit.
- Chantal says that Salah is white but he's not white white. She asks if he is caucasian even though he is still "Arab" but admittedly doesn't know how "it" works?
- As if this livestream couldn't get more dreadful, Salah enters the room and plays a cringe halloween stock laughter track on his phone speaker. After doing this several times he finally just caves in and sits next to Chantal.
- Salah and Chantal address comments in the chat. It's boring and cyclical.
- Chantal and Salah finally get off live.
2023.06.01 15:10 Mi1dcheddar365 The British are coming! 🏇
 | Spotting while trying to navigate to this sub. Stay vigilant not-as-old/less populated Birminghamians! submitted by Mi1dcheddar365 to Birmingham [link] [comments] https://www.reddit.com/USdefaultism/comments/13cjq5q/this_subreddit_being_suggested_to_me_when_i_grew/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1 |
2023.06.01 11:53 N_64_ Anon meet a girl
 | submitted by N_64_ to greentext [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 05:47 Medwards65 Effort was made?!?!?
 | For those that say the man never wants to meet up 🤷🏻♀️👀🤷🏻♀️👀 submitted by Medwards65 to Tinder [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 00:43 RenaissanceGuRu 42 [M4F] #Maryland. Abracadabra *poof*
Waving away the smoke from the poof. I did it. I made you stop scrolling. Takes a bow. I'll share a secret with you. Lean over to me please. I'm not really a magician. That said, I do have super powers. I'd like your undivided attention. You should pause your show, take a quick sip of your coffee, tea, and turn down your song. I hope your not baking, or driving while reading this. I'll wait thirty seconds and let you get comfortable. Cue Jeopardy music.
Ready now? Assuming you said yes. Here we go! I got you to stop scrolling, and I asked for your undivided attention. Now, I have to deliver an amazing post. Rolling around my neck. Clockwise and then counterclockwise. Doing one round of head, shoulders, knees, and toes. All warmed up. Look at you. See, you're already laughing, smiling, or at least smirking. Damn, I'm good. I'm modest too. wink-wink
Fiddle sticks, where was I. Oh I know, my super powers. For starters, I can pick perfect avocados every time. I'll wait while you re-read the previous sentence. Every single time, perfect avocados. Here's a tip. Go for the one that are less round and more oval shaped. I may share more later down the line...maybe. Sit down please, before I share my second super power. Cue Jeopardy music, again. Now that you're seated. I haven't lost a single sock to the dryer in over a decade. Yes, all my socks have a matching partner. Dont be jealous. I'm more than willing to share with you ONLY if you promise to use the information for good. I'll stop "bragging" for now. I'm modest, remember.
I share some of what I use as my regular life aka super hero cover up. Nature is my happy place, especially the water. I find it therapeutic. Nothing, like the smell of rain before it actually rains. I'm a PPD (Proud Plant Dad). Plants teach me so much about me and life. I mentioned my super powers, so it's only right I mention my kryptonite. You wouldn't hold it against me right. Sushi...it's Sushi. That's my kryptonite. I've embrace self-love/car and I understand that when im my best, all those connected to me all benefit. You should probably buy a portable charger. You'll need it with all the memes, gifs, music, and dad jokes we'll be sending each other. I love to hold kitchen concerts while we cook together. I have lots of hobbies and other interest. I play a mean air guitar. I've held you long enough. You should probably get back to your movie, baking/cooking, prep for the work week etc. I've been a Dom for nearly a decade. I've also had the pleasure of mentoring two other doms. It's something I'm passionate about. I understand and appreciate how beautiful a healthy D/s dynamic can be when built on trust, open/honest communication and chemistry. No rush, no pressure just a conversation for now. Talk to you soon. Abracadabra, poof I disappear
submitted by RenaissanceGuRu to R4R40Plus [link] [comments]
Ready now? Assuming you said yes. Here we go! I got you to stop scrolling, and I asked for your undivided attention. Now, I have to deliver an amazing post. Rolling around my neck. Clockwise and then counterclockwise. Doing one round of head, shoulders, knees, and toes. All warmed up. Look at you. See, you're already laughing, smiling, or at least smirking. Damn, I'm good. I'm modest too. wink-wink
Fiddle sticks, where was I. Oh I know, my super powers. For starters, I can pick perfect avocados every time. I'll wait while you re-read the previous sentence. Every single time, perfect avocados. Here's a tip. Go for the one that are less round and more oval shaped. I may share more later down the line...maybe. Sit down please, before I share my second super power. Cue Jeopardy music, again. Now that you're seated. I haven't lost a single sock to the dryer in over a decade. Yes, all my socks have a matching partner. Dont be jealous. I'm more than willing to share with you ONLY if you promise to use the information for good. I'll stop "bragging" for now. I'm modest, remember.
I share some of what I use as my regular life aka super hero cover up. Nature is my happy place, especially the water. I find it therapeutic. Nothing, like the smell of rain before it actually rains. I'm a PPD (Proud Plant Dad). Plants teach me so much about me and life. I mentioned my super powers, so it's only right I mention my kryptonite. You wouldn't hold it against me right. Sushi...it's Sushi. That's my kryptonite. I've embrace self-love/car and I understand that when im my best, all those connected to me all benefit. You should probably buy a portable charger. You'll need it with all the memes, gifs, music, and dad jokes we'll be sending each other. I love to hold kitchen concerts while we cook together. I have lots of hobbies and other interest. I play a mean air guitar. I've held you long enough. You should probably get back to your movie, baking/cooking, prep for the work week etc. I've been a Dom for nearly a decade. I've also had the pleasure of mentoring two other doms. It's something I'm passionate about. I understand and appreciate how beautiful a healthy D/s dynamic can be when built on trust, open/honest communication and chemistry. No rush, no pressure just a conversation for now. Talk to you soon. Abracadabra, poof I disappear
2023.05.30 00:42 RenaissanceGuRu 42 [M4F] #Maryland. Abracadabra *poof*
Waving away the smoke from the poof. I did it. I made you stop scrolling. Takes a bow. I'll share a secret with you. Lean over to me please. I'm not really a magician. That said, I do have super powers. I'd like your undivided attention. You should pause your show, take a quick sip of your coffee, tea, and turn down your song. I hope your not baking, or driving while reading this. I'll wait thirty seconds and let you get comfortable. Cue Jeopardy music.
Ready now? Assuming you said yes. Here we go! I got you to stop scrolling, and I asked for your undivided attention. Now, I have to deliver an amazing post. Rolling around my neck. Clockwise and then counterclockwise. Doing one round of head, shoulders, knees, and toes. All warmed up. Look at you. See, you're already laughing, smiling, or at least smirking. Damn, I'm good. I'm modest too. wink-wink
Fiddle sticks, where was I. Oh I know, my super powers. For starters, I can pick perfect avocados every time. I'll wait while you re-read the previous sentence. Every single time, perfect avocados. Here's a tip. Go for the one that are less round and more oval shaped. I may share more later down the line...maybe. Sit down please, before I share my second super power. Cue Jeopardy music, again. Now that you're seated. I haven't lost a single sock to the dryer in over a decade. Yes, all my socks have a matching partner. Dont be jealous. I'm more than willing to share with you ONLY if you promise to use the information for good. I'll stop "bragging" for now. I'm modest, remember.
I share some of what I use as my regular life aka super hero cover up. Nature is my happy place, especially the water. I find it therapeutic. Nothing, like the smell of rain before it actually rains. I'm a PPD (Proud Plant Dad). Plants teach me so much about me and life. I mentioned my super powers, so it's only right I mention my kryptonite. You wouldn't hold it against me right. Sushi...it's Sushi. That's my kryptonite. I've embrace self-love/car and I understand that when im my best, all those connected to me all benefit. You should probably buy a portable charger. You'll need it with all the memes, gifs, music, and dad jokes we'll be sending each other. I love to hold kitchen concerts while we cook together. I have lots of hobbies and other interest. I play a mean air guitar. I've held you long enough. You should probably get back to your movie, baking/cooking, prep for the work week etc. I've been a Dom for nearly a decade. I've also had the pleasure of mentoring two other doms. It's something I'm passionate about. I understand and appreciate how beautiful a healthy D/s dynamic can be when built on trust, open/honest communication and chemistry. No rush, no pressure just a conversation for now. Talk to you soon. Abracadabra, poof I disappear
submitted by RenaissanceGuRu to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]
Ready now? Assuming you said yes. Here we go! I got you to stop scrolling, and I asked for your undivided attention. Now, I have to deliver an amazing post. Rolling around my neck. Clockwise and then counterclockwise. Doing one round of head, shoulders, knees, and toes. All warmed up. Look at you. See, you're already laughing, smiling, or at least smirking. Damn, I'm good. I'm modest too. wink-wink
Fiddle sticks, where was I. Oh I know, my super powers. For starters, I can pick perfect avocados every time. I'll wait while you re-read the previous sentence. Every single time, perfect avocados. Here's a tip. Go for the one that are less round and more oval shaped. I may share more later down the line...maybe. Sit down please, before I share my second super power. Cue Jeopardy music, again. Now that you're seated. I haven't lost a single sock to the dryer in over a decade. Yes, all my socks have a matching partner. Dont be jealous. I'm more than willing to share with you ONLY if you promise to use the information for good. I'll stop "bragging" for now. I'm modest, remember.
I share some of what I use as my regular life aka super hero cover up. Nature is my happy place, especially the water. I find it therapeutic. Nothing, like the smell of rain before it actually rains. I'm a PPD (Proud Plant Dad). Plants teach me so much about me and life. I mentioned my super powers, so it's only right I mention my kryptonite. You wouldn't hold it against me right. Sushi...it's Sushi. That's my kryptonite. I've embrace self-love/car and I understand that when im my best, all those connected to me all benefit. You should probably buy a portable charger. You'll need it with all the memes, gifs, music, and dad jokes we'll be sending each other. I love to hold kitchen concerts while we cook together. I have lots of hobbies and other interest. I play a mean air guitar. I've held you long enough. You should probably get back to your movie, baking/cooking, prep for the work week etc. I've been a Dom for nearly a decade. I've also had the pleasure of mentoring two other doms. It's something I'm passionate about. I understand and appreciate how beautiful a healthy D/s dynamic can be when built on trust, open/honest communication and chemistry. No rush, no pressure just a conversation for now. Talk to you soon. Abracadabra, poof I disappear
2023.05.29 23:49 RenaissanceGuRu 42 [M4F] #Maryland. Abracadabra *poof*
Waving away the smoke from the poof. I did it. I made you stop scrolling. Takes a bow. I'll share a secret with you. Lean over to me please. I'm not really a magician. That said, I do have super powers. I'd like your undivided attention. You should pause your show, take a quick sip of your coffee, tea, and turn down your song. I hope your not baking, or driving while reading this. I'll wait thirty seconds and let you get comfortable. Cue Jeopardy music.
Ready now? Assuming you said yes. Here we go! I got you to stop scrolling, and I asked for your undivided attention. Now, I have to deliver an amazing post. Rolling around my neck. Clockwise and then counterclockwise. Doing one round of head, shoulders, knees, and toes. All warmed up. Look at you. See, you're already laughing, smiling, or at least smirking. Damn, I'm good. I'm modest too. wink-wink
Fiddle sticks, where was I. Oh I know, my super powers. For starters, I can pick perfect avocados every time. I'll wait while you re-read the previous sentence. Every single time, perfect avocados. Here's a tip. Go for the one that are less round and more oval shaped. I may share more later down the line...maybe. Sit down please, before I share my second super power. Cue Jeopardy music, again. Now that you're seated. I haven't lost a single sock to the dryer in over a decade. Yes, all my socks have a matching partner. Dont be jealous. I'm more than willing to share with you ONLY if you promise to use the information for good. I'll stop "bragging" for now. I'm modest, remember.
I share some of what I use as my regular life aka super hero cover up. Nature is my happy place, especially the water. I find it therapeutic. Nothing, like the smell of rain before it actually rains. I'm a PPD (Proud Plant Dad). Plants teach me so much about me and life. I mentioned my super powers, so it's only right I mention my kryptonite. You wouldn't hold it against me right. Sushi...it's Sushi. That's my kryptonite. I've embrace self-love/car and I understand that when im my best, all those connected to me all benefit. You should probably buy a portable charger. You'll need it with all the memes, gifs, music, and dad jokes we'll be sending each other. I love to hold kitchen concerts while we cook together. I have lots of hobbies and other interest. I play a mean air guitar. I've held you long enough. You should probably get back to your movie, baking/cooking, prep for the work week etc. I've been a Dom for nearly a decade. I've also had the pleasure of mentoring two other doms. It's something I'm passionate about. I understand and appreciate how beautiful a healthy D/s dynamic can be when built on trust, open/honest communication and chemistry. No rush, no pressure just a conversation for now. Talk to you soon. Abracadabra, poof I disappear
submitted by RenaissanceGuRu to polyamoryR4R [link] [comments]
Ready now? Assuming you said yes. Here we go! I got you to stop scrolling, and I asked for your undivided attention. Now, I have to deliver an amazing post. Rolling around my neck. Clockwise and then counterclockwise. Doing one round of head, shoulders, knees, and toes. All warmed up. Look at you. See, you're already laughing, smiling, or at least smirking. Damn, I'm good. I'm modest too. wink-wink
Fiddle sticks, where was I. Oh I know, my super powers. For starters, I can pick perfect avocados every time. I'll wait while you re-read the previous sentence. Every single time, perfect avocados. Here's a tip. Go for the one that are less round and more oval shaped. I may share more later down the line...maybe. Sit down please, before I share my second super power. Cue Jeopardy music, again. Now that you're seated. I haven't lost a single sock to the dryer in over a decade. Yes, all my socks have a matching partner. Dont be jealous. I'm more than willing to share with you ONLY if you promise to use the information for good. I'll stop "bragging" for now. I'm modest, remember.
I share some of what I use as my regular life aka super hero cover up. Nature is my happy place, especially the water. I find it therapeutic. Nothing, like the smell of rain before it actually rains. I'm a PPD (Proud Plant Dad). Plants teach me so much about me and life. I mentioned my super powers, so it's only right I mention my kryptonite. You wouldn't hold it against me right. Sushi...it's Sushi. That's my kryptonite. I've embrace self-love/car and I understand that when im my best, all those connected to me all benefit. You should probably buy a portable charger. You'll need it with all the memes, gifs, music, and dad jokes we'll be sending each other. I love to hold kitchen concerts while we cook together. I have lots of hobbies and other interest. I play a mean air guitar. I've held you long enough. You should probably get back to your movie, baking/cooking, prep for the work week etc. I've been a Dom for nearly a decade. I've also had the pleasure of mentoring two other doms. It's something I'm passionate about. I understand and appreciate how beautiful a healthy D/s dynamic can be when built on trust, open/honest communication and chemistry. No rush, no pressure just a conversation for now. Talk to you soon. Abracadabra, poof I disappear
2023.05.29 12:25 coffeerush111 Indulge in the Smooth and Refreshing Flavors of Cold Brew Coffee
 | Experience the perfect cup of cold brew coffee, known for its smoothness and refreshing qualities. Discover the art of slow steeping and unlock the rich flavors and low acidity of cold brew. Whether you prefer it black, iced, or with a splash of milk, explore our selection of premium cold brew coffee blends that will satisfy your cravings and keep you energized throughout the day. submitted by coffeerush111 to u/coffeerush111 [link] [comments] Contact us:- 480-855-9815 https://i.redd.it/h39d9ucvyq2b1.gif |
2023.05.29 11:03 WalkScaper DevBlog #14: Development of WalkScape, Closed Beta roadmap, anti-cheat and the release of character customization
 | Development of WalkScape, Closed Beta roadmap, anti-cheat and the release of character customizationHello, and welcome back to the WalkScape development blog! As summer and our slated release of the closed beta draw nearer, you might notice we don't have as many "new features" to showcase this time. Instead, I've been neck-deep in enhancing our development tools, while maxchill has been hard at work creating more options for character customization.In this blog post, I'll delve into the development side of WalkScape, shedding light on the process I've been navigating for the last...9 months, I believe? I'm aware we have plenty of developers among our readers, so I hope this blog post proves particularly interesting to them! WIP logo for our company, Not a Cult The Evolution of WalkScapeLet's kick things off with a fun showcase of different versions of WalkScape through a series of screenshots. We'll start with the initial Unity prototype: The very first Unity version The very first version was quickly abandoned after the initial prototype, as explained in the next section. Next, we have the first version of WalkScape developed with Flutter: The very first version of WalkScape developed with Flutter, 17.08.2022 As you can see, it's still quite rough, but it marked a significant step forward with the core functionality of step counting implemented. The next version introduced skills and experience: The first version with some statistics showing up At this stage, WalkScape started to resemble more of a game rather than just a pedometer app. We continued to expand the game by incorporating activities and additional functionalities: Early version of the location view with some missing sprites. With each iteration, WalkScape began to take shape, as seen in the screenshots and videos shared with you. As we progressed, I started to develop the inventory system. Around this time, maxchill joined our team as an artist, taking over the sprite creation. In the next version, you'll witness the emergence of maxchill's pixel art: Early version of the inventory With each iteration, we approached the appearance of the game as it stands today: Current version of WalkScape Technology StackI initially started developing WalkScape in the summer of the previous year using Unity, a highly popular game engine that supports various platforms such as PC, PlayStation, iOS, and Android. Flutter related meme However, after approximately a week, I realized that Unity was not well-suited for the kind of game I was creating. While Unity excels in developing 3D games and such, it proved inadequate for a mobile game that needed to conserve battery power and seamlessly integrate with mobile operating systems. Additionally, the UI creation tools provided by Unity did not align with my requirements, and even the initial version with just a step counter drained the battery quickly. Consequently, I made the decision to switch to Flutter. Having experimented with Flutter in a few app development projects, I was impressed by its user-friendly experience and rapid UI creation capabilities. Despite some initial skepticism regarding its suitability for gaming, I believed that Flutter, being a relatively new technology, held great potential. Flutter comes with a well-developed game engine called Flame. Although tempted to use Flame, I ultimately decided against it, a choice I now consider the right one. By developing my own engine, I gained complete control over every aspect of the game. It has been an extensive endeavor—WalkScape comprises nearly 40,000 lines of code. However, this approach allowed me to grasp a comprehensive understanding of the game's inner workings. Thus, I have been averaging approximately 140 lines of code per day since the project's inception. But I did take a few days off during the past nine months for some well-deserved rest :D For those interested in the technical details, one of the significant challenges in building my own game engine was developing an efficient and well-structured system for persisting data and updating the game based on that data. In WalkScape, I implemented "manager" singletons that store and manage data for various in-game elements. These managers include skills, items, characters, crafting recipes, locations, and more. During the game's loading process, these managers are responsible for retrieving data from both cloud and local databases. Dart, the programming language used for building Flutter apps, is the primary language for programming WalkScape, accounting for about 99% of the code. I also utilized Xcode and Kotlin for handling OS-specific functionalities, but their contribution to the overall codebase is relatively minor. The versatility of Flutter allows the game to be built for both iOS and Android, streamlining the process of providing the game to users on both platforms. Development ToolsNow, let's shift our focus to the development tools I have been working on in recent weeks. Early on, I recognized the need to create tools that would enable our team to add content to the game dynamically. Thanks to the complete control I have over the game engine, I managed to accomplish something quite uncommon in game development—adding content while the game is running and being able to test and modify it in real-time. Insight to the development tool UI These development tools are closely tied to the different data managers in the game. Each manager has its own user interface within the tools, allowing us to effortlessly introduce new content. When new data is added or modified, the corresponding manager refreshes the relevant game components, seamlessly incorporating the changes in real-time. This means that while playing the game, I can add new locations, activities, items, and more without writing a single line of code or restarting the game. If we decide to implement the added content permanently, the tools provide an export feature, allowing us to integrate the new data into the game. For those curious about the technical implementation, I have devised a code that converts in-game objects into JSON format, which can be stored locally. The JSON files generated by the development tools exist separately from the "real game files" but overwrite any corresponding content when necessary. This approach offers the convenience of easily resetting any changes with a simple button click, as the overwriting files can be deleted. Although the development tools are still just nearing completion, they have already demonstrated their immense potential. In just about an hour, I was able to add nearly all the locations across the entire Jarvonia region. The tools provide valuable insights during content creation, such as indicating the number of steps required to reach certain skill levels for specific activities, making the balancing process much easier. They also provide comprehensive statistics for creating loot tables and other essential game elements. Moreover, these tools allow us to add a new item on the fly and immediately test its impact in the game. This level of flexibility even extends to modifying existing items in real-time with just a few taps. One intriguing idea I have been contemplating is the possibility of opening up these development tools to the public at some point after the game's release. This would enable players to create mods for WalkScape, potentially transforming the game into entirely different fantasy settings like Lord of the Rings, The Witcher, or Game of Thrones. With this approach, we wouldn't need to worry about licensing issues. Modders could use the user-friendly development tools (no coding required) to craft their own NPCs, locations, items, quests, and more, ushering in a whole new level of player-created content. Admittedly, this feature would be limited to offline mode, but it could be an exciting experiment and would likely make WalkScape the first mobile game to offer modding capabilities. Personally, I would love to play the content created by the community! Closed Alpha and Short-Term RoadmapWith the development tools now nearing completion and the ability to add content rapidly, our next goal is to launch a closed alpha version of the game. This version will serve as the first fully playable release, albeit with limited content and some features still missing, which will be included in the closed beta. We aim to have the closed alpha ready before the next development blog.During the closed alpha phase, we will conduct extensive testing internally with our friends and family, ensuring that we address any issues and polish the game before the closed beta release. Although there may still be some issues, particularly device-specific ones, during the closed beta, we will promptly address them. As of now, it appears that the closed beta release might not be possible in June. That is why we provided a more flexible release window, expected to be sometime between June and August. We want to ensure that the closed beta is launched when we are confident in the performance and stability of the alpha version. Rest assured, we are working diligently to bring you the closed beta experience this summer. The months of July and August are particularly promising for the planned release, especially considering that many of our players reside in regions where summer encourages outdoor activities. Initially, the closed beta release will be limited to a small number of players to manage bug reports and feedback effectively. This approach allows us to address major issues promptly, as they are more likely to be identified early on. As we resolve these initial issues, we will gradually invite more players, expanding the player base as the game becomes more stable. The closed beta phase is expected to continue until the open beta, giving our followers a significant opportunity to experience WalkScape. We aim the everyone currently following us could try the game during closed beta! Few weeks before the closed beta release, we'll open a sign-up form for the beta. So stay tuned for that! Release of Character Customization for Desktop & MobileWhile the closed beta release might not make it until July or August, we didn't want to leave you empty-handed! We have transformed the character customization feature into a separate web application, which is also built with Flutter. This web application allows you to plan and design your character's appearance. Additionally, you can export the characters you create as PNG images and use them as profile pictures on platforms such as Discord, Twitter, and more. The tool on PC We will be regularly updating the character customization tool, as it shares the game's asset submodule and will automatically receive new options as we introduce them to the game. We would greatly appreciate it if you could contribute clothing, face/facial hair styles, hairstyles, and back accessories suggestions. Providing reference photos alongside your suggestions will greatly assist maxchill in creating more options, ensuring that you find the perfect customization choices within the game. We welcome other suggestions and comments as well. Although the user interface of the tool is something I created hastily and not the focus of the tool, please report any significant UI bugs you encounter. The tool on mobile You can access the character customization tool at pfp.walkscape.app. We are eager to see your creations and hear your suggestions! The tool is also available in open source. You can check the repository here: walkscape-character GitHub repository. You can take a look how we achieved this level of character customization complexity if you are interested, or use it yourself as a starting point in your own game. Also, the tool can be used to create your own pixel art customization options and try out how they would look on the character. Anti-Cheat MeasuresOne question that frequently arises is how we plan to combat cheaters. We are well aware of this concern and have already devised several solutions that, in theory, should be effective.Improving the anti-cheat system will be a key focus during the closed beta phase. With only one metric to monitor (steps), we can implement an anti-cheat system that checks the realism of walking patterns. We will develop a background process that timestamps each step, if necessary, allowing us to determine if players are taking breaks, sleeping, or engaging in suspicious behavior. We will continuously refine this system to ensure its accuracy. I personally believe that if we can create a robust anti-cheat system capable of accurately detecting cheating or forcing cheaters to perform poorly in the game to avoid detection, it will discourage cheating to a significant extent. As long as cheating does not impact competition or the in-game economy, it should not detract from the experience of other players. Furthermore, if WalkScape gains significant popularity, we may seek assistance from Google and Apple to integrate their APIs, enabling us to easily detect spoofed steps. I already believe this is possible on Android, where we can see the source of steps and differentiate between steps recorded by a genuine sensor and those added by an app. As a last resort, we could even calculate steps within the app itself using accelerometer and gyroscope data, bypassing reliance on the operating system for step tracking. Until Next Time and Personal ReflectionsAs we approach the game's release, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on how WalkScape has impacted my personal life over the past nine months.When the project gained popularity in January and February of this year, and our supporters on Patreon and Buy me a Coffee generously contributed to our funding, it provided me with the flexibility to negotiate reduced working hours at my current job without facing any major financial hardship. To prioritize WalkScape, I had to make some sacrifices, which included delaying my university studies. While I managed to attend one course during the spring semester, the majority of the past six months have been dedicated to working full-time on this project. During the spring, I shared details about the project with my CEO, who wholeheartedly supported my decision to focus on WalkScape. It was an incredible moment when he encouraged me to start my own company. Consequently, my new contract now requires me to work only one day per week, offering me some financial stability during the summer without relying on university student benefits. Since I was a young child just starting to learn programming, my lifelong dream has been to become an indie game developer (although the term "indie" wasn't commonly used back then). I sincerely hope that WalkScape, with the tremendous support we have received, will enable me to fulfill that dream. I am deeply grateful to all of you for accompanying me on this journey over the past months and helping turn my dream into a reality. If you are in a position to do so and would like to support us financially during the upcoming summer, becoming a Patreon or Buy me a Coffee member would greatly assist us. To those who have already supported us, your contributions mean the world to us! This blog post has been quite extensive, delving into various technical aspects that may not be as exciting for everyone. As we near the release, our focus has shifted toward adding content and ensuring everything functions smoothly, which makes it challenging to write about new features that have not been covered before. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, and I hope you have a fantastic Monday! We'll meet again in the next development blog post in two weeks. ❤️ |
2023.05.29 05:42 malrats Lied to, gaslit, cheated on, was only part of her "secondary life" for our entire 12 year relationship (technically ongoing).
This post on one of her secret social media accounts from late last year is what finally prompted me to reach out and write this instead of just swallowing the pain and trying to keep up the charade like I always have to: ON MY BIRTHDAY, while spending literally every second with me, gifts, cake, movie, everything--"You know when you like someone and they start dating someone else and you're like excuse me what the fuck but then you remind yourself that you haven't even put yourself in the running and you're like okay it's okay this won't work out anyway and then two weeks later they stop talking and you're like I knew it but you still do nothing and then they date someone else and it happens all over again and again but then eventually there's one and it's been months and they still don't break up and you're like fuck what if they get married. is that just me."
I really don't want to be writing this post. This is something I've been dealing with and that has been destroying me from the inside out for 12 years now. I'm not even sure about what to say or how to process it and I hope that this is even the right place to do it. If it isn't, I'll happily delete/accept direction to another sub but for right now this is just all that I have and I need to hear someone else say something about this to me who I know isn't just telling another lie and has no reason to. I can say beforehand that I realize this is likely going to read as rambling and incoherent. My thoughts are going to be all over the place. I don't even know to what degree I'm going to sound paranoid or who knows what else. And all I can really say about that is a reminder that after all of those years of not even being regarded highly enough by this person to be told the truth even 10% of the time, I have a very, very difficult time with trusting much of anyone. I also very openly suffer with severe anxiety disorders and this had always made it much, much worse. When I think I could have fewer things to worry about, I'd be reminded that this woman who I once thought loved me made me feel this way every day of my life.
The relationship began with red flag after red flag after red flag. Online, but not on a dating app. I'm just not into that stuff and I wasn't looking to date anyone. I just developed a crush and we started to talk and well, I fell for it. At first she was sweet and seemed harmless enough and like another artsy social media girl and I was happy to see that after having been in long-term relationships with party girls instead. But pretty quickly she presented herself as this nymphomaniac who just can't get enough. Always info-dumped to me in our messages about her past exploits, what sorts of crazy sexual encounters she'd had, her insatiable sexual appetite, bragging about partners, wild locations they'd done it, so on and so forth. As soon as I gave any indication that this wasn't the kind of girl I happened to be into, she backpedaled (and has stuck to that story with me since) and told me that she made all of that stuff up. It was just for attention, she just wanted me to like her, she thought that's what guys like. That the stories she was telling were actually ripped straight from the life of one of her friends and that she's nothing like that, etc. There was always some kind of excuse for why she said or did something that I will only ever believe is what actually happened and she was giving me the edited versions of everything. I even remember her going on about how she was having a threesome with one of her many exes (or few exes, it's impossible to even know that truth from her) and that she backed out last minute as it was happening because she didn't want to do anything with the girl. But in one of her secret online social media lives (one she didn't know that I've known about for a long time), she bragged about how she had been seeing a girl for months (after dumping a guy who insulted her in some way).
But whenever we'd talk about any of these things, oh no that never happened. We haven't even gone over much, if any, of her secret online life material and aside from whatever she's picked up on from when she stalks my social media to see if I've said anything (or if I publicly talked to other women, etc, as if she has any right) that would indicate that I'm onto her in any way, I have no idea what she knows yet. Which, by the way, she denies doing. She opened her phone and my Twitter and another account were both open on her screen and she quickly closed them. We fought all night about how she swears that never happened and it wasn't possible, they weren't there, go ahead and look, etc. Any time I ever bring up anything that I know she lies about, she instantly gets extremely aggressive and digs deep into the "I already told you that wasn't true" defense. I find that if I bring up a story she'd made up every few years that details change, but even when she's called out on that she just digs in even deeper, if anything.
From the beginning, once we became a couple, she just wouldn't shake her online relationships. Could not give them up. I know that she loved the attention and the lifestyle but I don't know, I just didn't think someone could be that obsessed with it and would be willing to sabotage a relationship for it. The guys (and I would later come to find out girls as well as she now identifies online as bisexual, despite always denying it to me even though I was the one who first told her I thought she was bisexual based on very compelling context and also nevermind the fact that I'm a vocal and strong LGBTQ ally) from her past texting her. Constant conversation with one of her online flings who would talk crap about me to her and they'd mostly just laugh about me. Straight up maintaining text conversations with long-term ex-boyfriends and one night stands from college. Things she had going on with coworkers over the years, and all of these really bizarre things she'd get into with guys online who I don't even think necessarily knew she existed. Like she was in a relationship with them but they had likely never even spoken to her. But she'd message her friends about how into the guy she was, etc.
I'm having a hard time keeping everything organized because I'm shaking as I type this, honestly. My heart is beating in my throat. My anxiety is off the charts. I don't have any proof of her physically cheating on me and I probably never will unless she ever finally admits it after she leaves me and uses it as something to hurt me even more. For a time I was physically with her for so long that I guess the only moments she'd have to do that was while working or traveling to and from and while she likely did (especially since her pool of people doubled from just guys to guys and girls, which means that when I had fully let my guard down when she had been working at some places that were only women, there was a very strong likelihood of her doing things with them and I would have never even imagined). The other thing is I'm not really a jealous person. Despite everything that had already happened with her, I didn't feel jealous that she might be doing anything. I didn't think about it, I just wanted her to do her own thing and be happy and not blame me for missing out on whatever it is that she wanted to be doing that she enjoyed. But it's definitely all there as far as online relationships/flings, betrayal, lies, and so on. And she's the kind of person who's very obvious about it too because she does at least two things: 1) She always positions herself so that her phone screen cannot be seen. And 99% of the time I'm not even looking at it. Even when she tells me to look at her screen to see some funny video or whatever, I'm always afraid to do it and end up seeing a notification pop up or that she forgot to log out of whichever website, and then I just have to feel even more destroyed inside over that. Not to mention the fight that would lead to nothing (except more lies). 2) I generally fall asleep before her and that'll go on for months at a time at least. During that time she'll stay up for hours and get all of her "private" stuff done without fear of me seeing. And yeah, I've woken up before and she didn't notice that I did until it's a bit too late and I'll see her quickly put her phone away and pretend to be asleep, but besides that she's generally just had all of that time to talk to the guys/girls, post, etc. And she'll lie and be like, "I fell asleep like 10 minutes after you, it was so great." But then there will be timestamps on her secret social media posts that act as proof that she was lying there for hours posting them. She even confessed online that she woke up 4 hours early for work (from home) and hadn't actually gone to work, just "messed around online" instead.
The lies destroy me. There have been so, so many lies. They've turned me into an amateur detective and the thing is that I don't want to think like that! I have far, far too many problems of my own that I deal with every second of every day and her being an unfaithful liar was not something I had worked into my schedule as being one of them. It's exhausting. I just want to be able to trust that someone is doing what they say they're doing, feels what they say they feel, is who they say there are. It's what I give her 100% so I have to genuinely ask, is it wrong to want the same back? And the thing with her is that she lies so much that in 12 years I would estimate that roughly 75-80% of everything she's ever said to me was a lie. Anything about her thoughts and feelings is generally a lie and that's often very obvious or could be proven by her very blatantly contradicting herself with something or other.
And she doesn't just lie about all of the infidelity type stuff. Sure, those are the things that she'll work hardest to protect because that's her self-preservation at work, she doesn't want to be found out. I've given her so many free outs of our relationship over the years. So many times that I said we could part amicably and one day be friends or never speak again, whichever she preferred. But what would she always say? "No, I don't want anyone else, I want you!". She's the kind of person who will lie about mundane details about things that I wouldn't even think about. For example, she always used to walk around exclaiming how she couldn't have caffeine, that she'd only drink decaf coffee, etc. Then one day a bottle of high dosage caffeine pills fell out of her overnight bag that she'd bring to my house. "Oh I was just having such a hard time staying up, it's not a big deal". No, it isn't. The big deal is the secret. And somewhere around that same time it was revealed that she was either stopping for Dunkin' coffee every day before work (despite running so late that she was almost getting fired) and that she had this whole back and forth "is it my turn to buy the instant coffee and creamer?" with one of the girls she worked with. Why lie about something insane like that? Something so meaningless, something that I never would have even thought about being something someone would be sick enough to lie about. And once again, it's entirely about the lie, and she never really had an answer for that, just some ridiculous excuses to which I could only respond, "who cares if you're drinking coffee?!"
She used to be somewhat put together physically and then just stopped with makeup entirely, wore only the same baggy clothes every day, hair in a bun, gained a huge amount of weight, gave up on any regular personal hygiene. So I always knew something was up when she'd be like, "I'm gonna put makeup on today!" I learned that was essentially code for her disappearing into the bathroom for an hour because she was dressing up in emo girl clothing, doing the full makeup, fitting herself into the really ancient band t-shirts and pants and jewelry, etc, and taking tons of photos to post on the secret socials to present to/bait the guys and girls in the community who were into that/believed that's how she was every day. Whenever I'd see these photos, bam--there's my house very distinctly serving as the backdrop. My mirror she was using for the 2005 Myspace selfies. And please keep in mind, this is a woman in her 30s. And look, I'm a huge nerd and I think cosplay is awesome and so on and I believe that anyone should be able to dress up as anything that they want to dress up as. But it's the lies and the secret double lives that I don't agree with.
One of the biggest red flags for me that I ever saw when it came down to learning about her life via her secret social media accounts (remember, she would never talk to me about anything nor tell the truth and even if I presented her with hard evidence, screenshots, anything at all she'd double down and say it wasn't real, it never happened, you name it) I was always a ghost. I didn't exist. She's lived at my house for most of the past 12 years, yet everything she'd ever say about anything in the house she'd refer to as very emphatically hers and would mention how she lives alone. It was done in this very specific way that you could see that she was trying to present as being this version of herself that she was living out online and that included her being in her own place without anyone else, often capped off with "I'm all alone, cuddle me" sorts of tags. And any time she couldn't get out of mentioning another person being around, I would always be referred to as "someone"or I guess sometimes "a person". And always "they" for a pronoun if that part was necessary (I'm cisgender straight male for whatever that matters).
It's actually absurd just how much she lies to all of her online people, too, now that I think of it. There are lots of shows that I watch and she doesn't but then she'd jump on her socials and post a thousand photos of all the guys and girls in the show that she's "unhealthily in love and obsessed with and wants to marry" and she'd say things about how sad she is that the show is over or. But I'd always be "someone". "I was talking to someone about it" and then it would be something that the two of us had a long conversation about an hour before or the previous night or whatever. I was very, very clearly being edited out of her life to make sure that she was single and approachable to everyone online. And it worked very well for her (and continues to).
Recently I saw on one of her secret social medias that verbatim said, "love when I wake up covered in scratches even though I'm entirely alone". She sleeps in my bed with me inches away from her every night. I can't even remember the last time we slept apart or even went a day without being together. She talks about her furniture or this possession or that. All my stuff. And I don't mean that in a "this stuff is mine, don't touch" kind of possessive way, I'm just pointing out that to me in person she'll call the possessions "your stuff' to me, but online she pretends it's hers. Maybe I'm splitting hairs here but it's all part of the details that make all of this so much for me.
When I first found one of her various secret social medias about a year ago, I had no plans to say anything about it. For some reason early into us being together she permanently deleted all of social media accounts that I had ever been friends with her on, maybe more that I don't know about. She said she hated social media, everyone was fake, she didn't care to see any of those peoples' dumb lives, etc. Fair enough, I only keep my Facebook account to wish people happy birthday and remember that people I went to school with even still exist. I barely check it otherwise. I'm more into Reddit and Twitter for gaming news and sports and stuff like that. And Reddit is something that she heavily got into a few years ago, which at first was to stalk me because, shocker, I saw my post and comment history open on her phone. And I'm not doing anything wrong on here or anywhere else so what does it matter to me, I keep it all public and edit absolutely zero of what I say or do because I'm not doing anything wrong and if it makes her happy to stalk my social media, have fun. No qualms here. And she's always on Reddit but with the big annoying "create an account" stuff all over the screen and I always said to her, "Oh my gosh, why don't you just make an account? It's so much easier that way." Always said she didn't want one, that she didn't want or need social media and using it logged out was fine and easy. Okay, if that's what you like.
But I didn't mention that account she did make (along with a few of her others) to her or anyone else for a couple of reasons. She does have extremely serious mental issues and mostly everything that I saw of her posting on there whenever I'd look every month or two was page after page of her trying to fit in with all of the 19 year old girls who are obsessed on very unhealthy levels with these 40-something year old emo band members. Reposting all of their weird pictures of them in their prime making out with each other, being really strange, doing some disturbing stuff, etc, but that was that scene and just because I'm not into it doesn't mean I care if anyone else is on any level where I think they need to stop. So as far as I could tell, maybe it would just stay as that and what do I care if she does that? It doesn't matter one bit to me, the only part that matters about something like that to me at all is that it needs to be a secret from me. But so I figured she was feeling like she fit in with all of the other people like that (albeit all much younger than her) and hey, if that's what makes you happy and helps her vent all of the issues that she doesn't want to share with me (which did unfortunately later on in the account turn into her just straight up complaining about me specifically on there, as "someone", "a person", even more than just about her own feelings, even though I'm someone who always has an open door for you to air whatever problem you have out to me and we can talk about it for as long as you'd like--as long as you're truthful and thorough about it without keeping more secrets).
It was always EXTREMELY unsettling to see, though, because she doesn't talk like herself on there. Or maybe I should rephrase; she doesn't talk like the self that she's pretended to be around me for 12 years. Completely different vocabulary, style of speech, regional slang, and honestly speaking in a bunch of pretty gross ways that shocked me coming from her because with me she's very prude (I'll get to that). But even still, it was mostly "innocent" at least publicly (despite being a secret account that she admitted on there several times existed in secret because she didn't want family or anyone to find it and so she could just say and act however she wanted). But it did get more troubling over time. Instead of just the niche band stuff, it started to turn into her talking about her past and became a place to list the notches in her bedpost (accidental nod to one of the things she's unhealthy levels of obsessed with) and I don't know if she wanted to appear like some sexually liberated badass to all of the other girls on there or what but it got more and more intense as time went on. And you know what it reminded me of almost exactly? The person I first met over 12 years ago, except minus a lot of the graphic material only because the site doesn't allow it anymore. After that it was her suddenly being very open about how much she loves sleeping with women, heavily leaning into the bisexual identity, and so on. Look. I never once gave her any reason to think that she couldn't come out to me if she wanted to. Never once. And I'm not even now saying that she has to or should or even necessarily that she's wrong for not coming out. But I mentioned it earlier and it's true, there was some stuff that happened years back that led me to have a lightbulb moment about her being into women, and she was very against it. Mostly just laughed but also said that she's straight. And that's fine, especially if you have a hard time or don't want to admit it to someone. But it's when you remain in a relationship with me for 12 years with that secret that it becomes an issue for me. It's when you tell stories about your past doing things with other girls that you not only swore you'd never done but that you said you never would do, and yes that is in the context of something mentioned over the years about being brought into our own relationship. She was very opposed, both in a "I'm not into girls, so no" and "I don't want to be with anyone else, only you, so no) kind of way.
Those are the reasons that I feel betrayed. And it's not something that has made her life difficult. Regardless of how much she hates me, I've only ever been supportive of LGBT rights, have them as close friends, and so on. She knows about every vote I've cast, she sees the stickers I order, the causes I support, and so on. Her family is supportive. Not in a "we would still love you anyway" kind of way but in an openly encouraged kind of way. There is nothing at all that would suggest it's difficult for her. It was just a secret to keep from me because that's all she knows how to do and because it left me off guard about more than 50% of the world population that I didn't expect she'd be messing around with.
Onto the last parts, likely. For probably 11 or maybe more of the years we've been together, we really haven't been close, intimate, acted like a couple, any of that. She isn't physically or emotionally interested in me. Something that was always an issue from the start was how vocal she was about the whole being a nymphomaniac with other guys (and girls) thing but that we have an essentially nonexistent sex life and always have. She doesn't even speak a dirty word around me. When we watch TV or movies together and there's a sex scene, she acts disgusted but then you'll find the same scene posted as an obsessive amount of GIFs, images, quotes, and photos on her secret social media with captions about how much it turned her on, how much she wishes for that, where is her, etc. We were never really people who kissed a whole bunch but we haven't kissed basically at all in years. Anything that ever happens between us has to be initiated by me (and after so many years of it, I don't want to and it just makes me feel so awful about myself) and is always met with some form of very angry/annoyed, "Is it going to be quick? Hurry up!" She's never been open to doing anything beyond the bare minimum with me and even then it's like pulling teeth. We were in our 20s and we'd go weeks and weeks without even touching each other. But then if we got into a fight she'd try to end the fight with some kind of sexual advance, and to me that's just not normal and something is very wrong there. We haven't said "I love you" in more years than I can even remember. She was very into that for maybe like the first 2-3 months and then she needed to appear to everyone like she was a single girl who just happened to be around me so she wouldn't touch me or act like my girlfriend in any way, and I recall the final time she ever said those words it was that very telling "Love you" instead of what she used to be very emphatic about had to be "I love you", the full three words, to really have meaning.
I stopped saying it to her because of all of the lies and cheating and betrayal. I didn't feel it anymore, it made me feel like I was going to be sick if those words were even conjured up to my mouth. She didn't deserve to hear them for doing what she was doing to me. And that was just normalized so long ago that it really is what it is. That was never going to be fixed. Nor were the intimacy issues considering all that ever was was the exact same fight, down to the same words said, month after month and year after year, whenever enough time had passed and enough frustration had been pent up that everything just boiled over and it got vocal. I mentioned earlier that she gained a very large amount of weight and entirely stopped taking care of herself. That part sucked for both of us. But online she presents herself as something else so it doesn't really seem to affect much in her romantic/sexual interests. In person, I had to come to terms with being with a different person than who I had first met.
And I'm not body shaming. I try to be supportive about eating healthier and did it myself to give her the easy road to join me. Didn't want to , didn't care to. Not much else I can do there since I'm definitely not allowed to comment on that issue without being torn apart. But the point is that I still stayed. Years and years of her lying to me about everything, of her cheating on me, of her scrambling my brain to the point where I don't think I'll EVER be able to trust another person again, I've just stayed with her. Because what difference does it make? If I did meet someone else, they'd do the same thing to me. She showed me that it's all I'm worth. And I wasted the remaining good years that I had being with her, hoping somewhere that things would get better and that all of that time I put into very naively believing that I had gotten to know another human being on the profound sort of level that takes 12 years to go to...well, but that didn't actually happen, though. She just told me whatever suited her. That much is a fact. And I never really knew how to get out anyway because back when I was still trying to just break up with her and move on and have a chance to salvage my ability to love or trust anyone, she'd always fight so hard and do crazy things like camp out on my porch or finally go away for a few days but spend the entire time texting me, emailing me, messaging me on whatever she could find that I hadn't blocked her on to just make it easier on both of us. But she wouldn't leave. And then I wouldn't. And I allowed myself to stay in this situation and be damaged beyond repair. And I don't even know what to do.
There's a lot of evidence right now that suggests she's leaving me imminently (yes, to be clear we're still physically together and live together and spend 24/7 together, though clearly neither of us think of each other as significant others, which really sucks because, well...have you ever been in the same room with and shared a bed with someone who only ever lies to you about everything and you know it, but they don't know that you know? I'm sure and very sorry to say that many people here can probably answer "yes" to that question). Everything points to her taking off basically any minute because she finally picked up on the fact that I know about her secret lives. She deactivated at least one of them, one of the seemingly less important ones. And the really bad one I'm sure will "disappear" soon until she jumps ship, not entirely sure why it matters though considering I already have all of that saved and if she's leaving me anyway then what does she care if I can see her secret life anymore? I only ever looked at it because we were together and some part of me had wondered for so long if things would ever just be normal and dare I say better between us and I needed to know (yes, like passing the train wreck and opting to look instead of shield your eyes) over the course of the year-ish that I've seen that particular secret life if she was even capable of being faithful and honest or if she was going to go off the rails exactly like I anticipated she would. And she sure did. And of course I've been a mess about it--and how could I not, even if I hated her guts this is still finding out even more about how someone I've spent so much of my life with for so many years--just doesn't care about me or what she does to me and will happily keep cheating, lying, doing whatever she want so long as she has what she wants and is in control of how everything goes. She needs to keep the secrets, dictate what is fact and what's fiction, and by what I know is coming also be the one to finally leave. I think all along she just stayed with me because I was the one trying to leave her and someone like her can't have that. She needs to be the one doing the dumping, needs to be the victim who had to leave this awful person and get as far away as she can. And she'll get her way with that because I just don't have it in me. But given the fact that I've been a mess, and I am around her 24/7, all I've really known how to do is be quiet. Flip over and face the other way. Bury myself in Reddit and Discord and scroll through pages and pages of guides about how to create the best character in whatever new video game I'll start just to fill the silence in my room and have something to think about other than the fact that I'm not good enough even for a really, really bad person to care about me even a little bit.
It's weird to me that someone with such sociopath/antisocial traits thinks that they're such genius masterminds. That they're invulnerable to ever being found out. That their victims haven't just already known for a long time and are too tired and broken to even bother saying something else about it. I've known for a long time now, about all of this newer stuff but about so many things with her, some that I've spoken about and some that I haven't, but it's very clear that she thinks she was just doing this without any consequence all along. Well not to her, of course not. She only cares about self-preservation in the sense that as long as she has things the way that she wants them (currently that means free room and board, espresso drinks, fast and reliable Wi-Fi, a place to do her work, gifts, and honestly I don't even know what if anything else she feels she gets from being with me at this point or how long it's just been that or less, and I guess avoiding the short-term "sting" for someone like her to have to actually get up and move out and maybe for an hour or two feel something that resembles "sad" about the end of an extremely long relationship).
People like her just don't see. I'm the male so I have to just keep my emotions about it all inside. And if I didn't, what would it matter? She'd just deny it all. She'd lie until I was too tired to fight about it anymore and just said, "Okay fine, let's just move on and change the subject". I have to wait until I'm in the bathroom to cry. I don't have any secret social media accounts to vent about any of it on. I don't even have friends whom I'd talk to about this kind of thing because honestly we're older and it's messy. They'd all say why the hell didn't you just get out years ago? Just like every single person has told me over the years. And I'd tell them I don't know.
And now that I've spent like two hours typing, that last paragraph only just now reminded me that she's going to be reading this. Sometimes I forget that everything I'm ever posting is open in a private browser tab on her phone somewhere. Normally, I don't really mind. I had a really long-winded question about the best character build in a video game? By all means, read away. You'll be bored by it just like how you're bored by anything I ever have to say about anything that I'm really interested in to you. Because I'm not one of those emo boys (or girls) online. Because I'm not whoever or whatever you wanted.
But I guess it most of all doesn't matter because I know she's leaving. Words spoken far too much these days, but it is what it is.
I'm really sorry about how long all of this is. I'm really sorry if this is hard to follow or if my thoughts are too scattered or whatever the issue. It's really difficult to write a first and last time In Memorium about a relationship where I've been nothing but lied to, cheated on, and had secrets kept from me for 12 years. So I guess at least I won't be writing about this again.
TL;DR: There is no TL;DR. This is just too long. It's too much. The TL;DR would be a novella and it's just too much for me to do. I'm not offended if you can't or don't want to devote the time to read this. Or if you have trouble following. Or if you don't like me and think I'm a bad person. It's okay. I'd love to hear what anyone has to say about it, sure, but in many ways this is just as much for myself. A final chapter laid to rest.
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I really don't want to be writing this post. This is something I've been dealing with and that has been destroying me from the inside out for 12 years now. I'm not even sure about what to say or how to process it and I hope that this is even the right place to do it. If it isn't, I'll happily delete/accept direction to another sub but for right now this is just all that I have and I need to hear someone else say something about this to me who I know isn't just telling another lie and has no reason to. I can say beforehand that I realize this is likely going to read as rambling and incoherent. My thoughts are going to be all over the place. I don't even know to what degree I'm going to sound paranoid or who knows what else. And all I can really say about that is a reminder that after all of those years of not even being regarded highly enough by this person to be told the truth even 10% of the time, I have a very, very difficult time with trusting much of anyone. I also very openly suffer with severe anxiety disorders and this had always made it much, much worse. When I think I could have fewer things to worry about, I'd be reminded that this woman who I once thought loved me made me feel this way every day of my life.
The relationship began with red flag after red flag after red flag. Online, but not on a dating app. I'm just not into that stuff and I wasn't looking to date anyone. I just developed a crush and we started to talk and well, I fell for it. At first she was sweet and seemed harmless enough and like another artsy social media girl and I was happy to see that after having been in long-term relationships with party girls instead. But pretty quickly she presented herself as this nymphomaniac who just can't get enough. Always info-dumped to me in our messages about her past exploits, what sorts of crazy sexual encounters she'd had, her insatiable sexual appetite, bragging about partners, wild locations they'd done it, so on and so forth. As soon as I gave any indication that this wasn't the kind of girl I happened to be into, she backpedaled (and has stuck to that story with me since) and told me that she made all of that stuff up. It was just for attention, she just wanted me to like her, she thought that's what guys like. That the stories she was telling were actually ripped straight from the life of one of her friends and that she's nothing like that, etc. There was always some kind of excuse for why she said or did something that I will only ever believe is what actually happened and she was giving me the edited versions of everything. I even remember her going on about how she was having a threesome with one of her many exes (or few exes, it's impossible to even know that truth from her) and that she backed out last minute as it was happening because she didn't want to do anything with the girl. But in one of her secret online social media lives (one she didn't know that I've known about for a long time), she bragged about how she had been seeing a girl for months (after dumping a guy who insulted her in some way).
But whenever we'd talk about any of these things, oh no that never happened. We haven't even gone over much, if any, of her secret online life material and aside from whatever she's picked up on from when she stalks my social media to see if I've said anything (or if I publicly talked to other women, etc, as if she has any right) that would indicate that I'm onto her in any way, I have no idea what she knows yet. Which, by the way, she denies doing. She opened her phone and my Twitter and another account were both open on her screen and she quickly closed them. We fought all night about how she swears that never happened and it wasn't possible, they weren't there, go ahead and look, etc. Any time I ever bring up anything that I know she lies about, she instantly gets extremely aggressive and digs deep into the "I already told you that wasn't true" defense. I find that if I bring up a story she'd made up every few years that details change, but even when she's called out on that she just digs in even deeper, if anything.
From the beginning, once we became a couple, she just wouldn't shake her online relationships. Could not give them up. I know that she loved the attention and the lifestyle but I don't know, I just didn't think someone could be that obsessed with it and would be willing to sabotage a relationship for it. The guys (and I would later come to find out girls as well as she now identifies online as bisexual, despite always denying it to me even though I was the one who first told her I thought she was bisexual based on very compelling context and also nevermind the fact that I'm a vocal and strong LGBTQ ally) from her past texting her. Constant conversation with one of her online flings who would talk crap about me to her and they'd mostly just laugh about me. Straight up maintaining text conversations with long-term ex-boyfriends and one night stands from college. Things she had going on with coworkers over the years, and all of these really bizarre things she'd get into with guys online who I don't even think necessarily knew she existed. Like she was in a relationship with them but they had likely never even spoken to her. But she'd message her friends about how into the guy she was, etc.
I'm having a hard time keeping everything organized because I'm shaking as I type this, honestly. My heart is beating in my throat. My anxiety is off the charts. I don't have any proof of her physically cheating on me and I probably never will unless she ever finally admits it after she leaves me and uses it as something to hurt me even more. For a time I was physically with her for so long that I guess the only moments she'd have to do that was while working or traveling to and from and while she likely did (especially since her pool of people doubled from just guys to guys and girls, which means that when I had fully let my guard down when she had been working at some places that were only women, there was a very strong likelihood of her doing things with them and I would have never even imagined). The other thing is I'm not really a jealous person. Despite everything that had already happened with her, I didn't feel jealous that she might be doing anything. I didn't think about it, I just wanted her to do her own thing and be happy and not blame me for missing out on whatever it is that she wanted to be doing that she enjoyed. But it's definitely all there as far as online relationships/flings, betrayal, lies, and so on. And she's the kind of person who's very obvious about it too because she does at least two things: 1) She always positions herself so that her phone screen cannot be seen. And 99% of the time I'm not even looking at it. Even when she tells me to look at her screen to see some funny video or whatever, I'm always afraid to do it and end up seeing a notification pop up or that she forgot to log out of whichever website, and then I just have to feel even more destroyed inside over that. Not to mention the fight that would lead to nothing (except more lies). 2) I generally fall asleep before her and that'll go on for months at a time at least. During that time she'll stay up for hours and get all of her "private" stuff done without fear of me seeing. And yeah, I've woken up before and she didn't notice that I did until it's a bit too late and I'll see her quickly put her phone away and pretend to be asleep, but besides that she's generally just had all of that time to talk to the guys/girls, post, etc. And she'll lie and be like, "I fell asleep like 10 minutes after you, it was so great." But then there will be timestamps on her secret social media posts that act as proof that she was lying there for hours posting them. She even confessed online that she woke up 4 hours early for work (from home) and hadn't actually gone to work, just "messed around online" instead.
The lies destroy me. There have been so, so many lies. They've turned me into an amateur detective and the thing is that I don't want to think like that! I have far, far too many problems of my own that I deal with every second of every day and her being an unfaithful liar was not something I had worked into my schedule as being one of them. It's exhausting. I just want to be able to trust that someone is doing what they say they're doing, feels what they say they feel, is who they say there are. It's what I give her 100% so I have to genuinely ask, is it wrong to want the same back? And the thing with her is that she lies so much that in 12 years I would estimate that roughly 75-80% of everything she's ever said to me was a lie. Anything about her thoughts and feelings is generally a lie and that's often very obvious or could be proven by her very blatantly contradicting herself with something or other.
And she doesn't just lie about all of the infidelity type stuff. Sure, those are the things that she'll work hardest to protect because that's her self-preservation at work, she doesn't want to be found out. I've given her so many free outs of our relationship over the years. So many times that I said we could part amicably and one day be friends or never speak again, whichever she preferred. But what would she always say? "No, I don't want anyone else, I want you!". She's the kind of person who will lie about mundane details about things that I wouldn't even think about. For example, she always used to walk around exclaiming how she couldn't have caffeine, that she'd only drink decaf coffee, etc. Then one day a bottle of high dosage caffeine pills fell out of her overnight bag that she'd bring to my house. "Oh I was just having such a hard time staying up, it's not a big deal". No, it isn't. The big deal is the secret. And somewhere around that same time it was revealed that she was either stopping for Dunkin' coffee every day before work (despite running so late that she was almost getting fired) and that she had this whole back and forth "is it my turn to buy the instant coffee and creamer?" with one of the girls she worked with. Why lie about something insane like that? Something so meaningless, something that I never would have even thought about being something someone would be sick enough to lie about. And once again, it's entirely about the lie, and she never really had an answer for that, just some ridiculous excuses to which I could only respond, "who cares if you're drinking coffee?!"
She used to be somewhat put together physically and then just stopped with makeup entirely, wore only the same baggy clothes every day, hair in a bun, gained a huge amount of weight, gave up on any regular personal hygiene. So I always knew something was up when she'd be like, "I'm gonna put makeup on today!" I learned that was essentially code for her disappearing into the bathroom for an hour because she was dressing up in emo girl clothing, doing the full makeup, fitting herself into the really ancient band t-shirts and pants and jewelry, etc, and taking tons of photos to post on the secret socials to present to/bait the guys and girls in the community who were into that/believed that's how she was every day. Whenever I'd see these photos, bam--there's my house very distinctly serving as the backdrop. My mirror she was using for the 2005 Myspace selfies. And please keep in mind, this is a woman in her 30s. And look, I'm a huge nerd and I think cosplay is awesome and so on and I believe that anyone should be able to dress up as anything that they want to dress up as. But it's the lies and the secret double lives that I don't agree with.
One of the biggest red flags for me that I ever saw when it came down to learning about her life via her secret social media accounts (remember, she would never talk to me about anything nor tell the truth and even if I presented her with hard evidence, screenshots, anything at all she'd double down and say it wasn't real, it never happened, you name it) I was always a ghost. I didn't exist. She's lived at my house for most of the past 12 years, yet everything she'd ever say about anything in the house she'd refer to as very emphatically hers and would mention how she lives alone. It was done in this very specific way that you could see that she was trying to present as being this version of herself that she was living out online and that included her being in her own place without anyone else, often capped off with "I'm all alone, cuddle me" sorts of tags. And any time she couldn't get out of mentioning another person being around, I would always be referred to as "someone"or I guess sometimes "a person". And always "they" for a pronoun if that part was necessary (I'm cisgender straight male for whatever that matters).
It's actually absurd just how much she lies to all of her online people, too, now that I think of it. There are lots of shows that I watch and she doesn't but then she'd jump on her socials and post a thousand photos of all the guys and girls in the show that she's "unhealthily in love and obsessed with and wants to marry" and she'd say things about how sad she is that the show is over or
Recently I saw on one of her secret social medias that verbatim said, "love when I wake up covered in scratches even though I'm entirely alone". She sleeps in my bed with me inches away from her every night. I can't even remember the last time we slept apart or even went a day without being together. She talks about her furniture or this possession or that. All my stuff. And I don't mean that in a "this stuff is mine, don't touch" kind of possessive way, I'm just pointing out that to me in person she'll call the possessions "your stuff' to me, but online she pretends it's hers. Maybe I'm splitting hairs here but it's all part of the details that make all of this so much for me.
When I first found one of her various secret social medias about a year ago, I had no plans to say anything about it. For some reason early into us being together she permanently deleted all of social media accounts that I had ever been friends with her on, maybe more that I don't know about. She said she hated social media, everyone was fake, she didn't care to see any of those peoples' dumb lives, etc. Fair enough, I only keep my Facebook account to wish people happy birthday and remember that people I went to school with even still exist. I barely check it otherwise. I'm more into Reddit and Twitter for gaming news and sports and stuff like that. And Reddit is something that she heavily got into a few years ago, which at first was to stalk me because, shocker, I saw my post and comment history open on her phone. And I'm not doing anything wrong on here or anywhere else so what does it matter to me, I keep it all public and edit absolutely zero of what I say or do because I'm not doing anything wrong and if it makes her happy to stalk my social media, have fun. No qualms here. And she's always on Reddit but with the big annoying "create an account" stuff all over the screen and I always said to her, "Oh my gosh, why don't you just make an account? It's so much easier that way." Always said she didn't want one, that she didn't want or need social media and using it logged out was fine and easy. Okay, if that's what you like.
But I didn't mention that account she did make (along with a few of her others) to her or anyone else for a couple of reasons. She does have extremely serious mental issues and mostly everything that I saw of her posting on there whenever I'd look every month or two was page after page of her trying to fit in with all of the 19 year old girls who are obsessed on very unhealthy levels with these 40-something year old emo band members. Reposting all of their weird pictures of them in their prime making out with each other, being really strange, doing some disturbing stuff, etc, but that was that scene and just because I'm not into it doesn't mean I care if anyone else is on any level where I think they need to stop. So as far as I could tell, maybe it would just stay as that and what do I care if she does that? It doesn't matter one bit to me, the only part that matters about something like that to me at all is that it needs to be a secret from me. But so I figured she was feeling like she fit in with all of the other people like that (albeit all much younger than her) and hey, if that's what makes you happy and helps her vent all of the issues that she doesn't want to share with me (which did unfortunately later on in the account turn into her just straight up complaining about me specifically on there, as "someone", "a person", even more than just about her own feelings, even though I'm someone who always has an open door for you to air whatever problem you have out to me and we can talk about it for as long as you'd like--as long as you're truthful and thorough about it without keeping more secrets).
It was always EXTREMELY unsettling to see, though, because she doesn't talk like herself on there. Or maybe I should rephrase; she doesn't talk like the self that she's pretended to be around me for 12 years. Completely different vocabulary, style of speech, regional slang, and honestly speaking in a bunch of pretty gross ways that shocked me coming from her because with me she's very prude (I'll get to that). But even still, it was mostly "innocent" at least publicly (despite being a secret account that she admitted on there several times existed in secret because she didn't want family or anyone to find it and so she could just say and act however she wanted). But it did get more troubling over time. Instead of just the niche band stuff, it started to turn into her talking about her past and became a place to list the notches in her bedpost (accidental nod to one of the things she's unhealthy levels of obsessed with) and I don't know if she wanted to appear like some sexually liberated badass to all of the other girls on there or what but it got more and more intense as time went on. And you know what it reminded me of almost exactly? The person I first met over 12 years ago, except minus a lot of the graphic material only because the site doesn't allow it anymore. After that it was her suddenly being very open about how much she loves sleeping with women, heavily leaning into the bisexual identity, and so on. Look. I never once gave her any reason to think that she couldn't come out to me if she wanted to. Never once. And I'm not even now saying that she has to or should or even necessarily that she's wrong for not coming out. But I mentioned it earlier and it's true, there was some stuff that happened years back that led me to have a lightbulb moment about her being into women, and she was very against it. Mostly just laughed but also said that she's straight. And that's fine, especially if you have a hard time or don't want to admit it to someone. But it's when you remain in a relationship with me for 12 years with that secret that it becomes an issue for me. It's when you tell stories about your past doing things with other girls that you not only swore you'd never done but that you said you never would do, and yes that is in the context of something mentioned over the years about being brought into our own relationship. She was very opposed, both in a "I'm not into girls, so no" and "I don't want to be with anyone else, only you, so no) kind of way.
Those are the reasons that I feel betrayed. And it's not something that has made her life difficult. Regardless of how much she hates me, I've only ever been supportive of LGBT rights, have them as close friends, and so on. She knows about every vote I've cast, she sees the stickers I order, the causes I support, and so on. Her family is supportive. Not in a "we would still love you anyway" kind of way but in an openly encouraged kind of way. There is nothing at all that would suggest it's difficult for her. It was just a secret to keep from me because that's all she knows how to do and because it left me off guard about more than 50% of the world population that I didn't expect she'd be messing around with.
Onto the last parts, likely. For probably 11 or maybe more of the years we've been together, we really haven't been close, intimate, acted like a couple, any of that. She isn't physically or emotionally interested in me. Something that was always an issue from the start was how vocal she was about the whole being a nymphomaniac with other guys (and girls) thing but that we have an essentially nonexistent sex life and always have. She doesn't even speak a dirty word around me. When we watch TV or movies together and there's a sex scene, she acts disgusted but then you'll find the same scene posted as an obsessive amount of GIFs, images, quotes, and photos on her secret social media with captions about how much it turned her on, how much she wishes for that, where is her
I stopped saying it to her because of all of the lies and cheating and betrayal. I didn't feel it anymore, it made me feel like I was going to be sick if those words were even conjured up to my mouth. She didn't deserve to hear them for doing what she was doing to me. And that was just normalized so long ago that it really is what it is. That was never going to be fixed. Nor were the intimacy issues considering all that ever was was the exact same fight, down to the same words said, month after month and year after year, whenever enough time had passed and enough frustration had been pent up that everything just boiled over and it got vocal. I mentioned earlier that she gained a very large amount of weight and entirely stopped taking care of herself. That part sucked for both of us. But online she presents herself as something else so it doesn't really seem to affect much in her romantic/sexual interests. In person, I had to come to terms with being with a different person than who I had first met.
And I'm not body shaming. I try to be supportive about eating healthier and did it myself to give her the easy road to join me. Didn't want to , didn't care to. Not much else I can do there since I'm definitely not allowed to comment on that issue without being torn apart. But the point is that I still stayed. Years and years of her lying to me about everything, of her cheating on me, of her scrambling my brain to the point where I don't think I'll EVER be able to trust another person again, I've just stayed with her. Because what difference does it make? If I did meet someone else, they'd do the same thing to me. She showed me that it's all I'm worth. And I wasted the remaining good years that I had being with her, hoping somewhere that things would get better and that all of that time I put into very naively believing that I had gotten to know another human being on the profound sort of level that takes 12 years to go to...well, but that didn't actually happen, though. She just told me whatever suited her. That much is a fact. And I never really knew how to get out anyway because back when I was still trying to just break up with her and move on and have a chance to salvage my ability to love or trust anyone, she'd always fight so hard and do crazy things like camp out on my porch or finally go away for a few days but spend the entire time texting me, emailing me, messaging me on whatever she could find that I hadn't blocked her on to just make it easier on both of us. But she wouldn't leave. And then I wouldn't. And I allowed myself to stay in this situation and be damaged beyond repair. And I don't even know what to do.
There's a lot of evidence right now that suggests she's leaving me imminently (yes, to be clear we're still physically together and live together and spend 24/7 together, though clearly neither of us think of each other as significant others, which really sucks because, well...have you ever been in the same room with and shared a bed with someone who only ever lies to you about everything and you know it, but they don't know that you know? I'm sure and very sorry to say that many people here can probably answer "yes" to that question). Everything points to her taking off basically any minute because she finally picked up on the fact that I know about her secret lives. She deactivated at least one of them, one of the seemingly less important ones. And the really bad one I'm sure will "disappear" soon until she jumps ship, not entirely sure why it matters though considering I already have all of that saved and if she's leaving me anyway then what does she care if I can see her secret life anymore? I only ever looked at it because we were together and some part of me had wondered for so long if things would ever just be normal and dare I say better between us and I needed to know (yes, like passing the train wreck and opting to look instead of shield your eyes) over the course of the year-ish that I've seen that particular secret life if she was even capable of being faithful and honest or if she was going to go off the rails exactly like I anticipated she would. And she sure did. And of course I've been a mess about it--and how could I not, even if I hated her guts this is still finding out even more about how someone I've spent so much of my life with for so many years--just doesn't care about me or what she does to me and will happily keep cheating, lying, doing whatever she want so long as she has what she wants and is in control of how everything goes. She needs to keep the secrets, dictate what is fact and what's fiction, and by what I know is coming also be the one to finally leave. I think all along she just stayed with me because I was the one trying to leave her and someone like her can't have that. She needs to be the one doing the dumping, needs to be the victim who had to leave this awful person and get as far away as she can. And she'll get her way with that because I just don't have it in me. But given the fact that I've been a mess, and I am around her 24/7, all I've really known how to do is be quiet. Flip over and face the other way. Bury myself in Reddit and Discord and scroll through pages and pages of guides about how to create the best character in whatever new video game I'll start just to fill the silence in my room and have something to think about other than the fact that I'm not good enough even for a really, really bad person to care about me even a little bit.
It's weird to me that someone with such sociopath/antisocial traits thinks that they're such genius masterminds. That they're invulnerable to ever being found out. That their victims haven't just already known for a long time and are too tired and broken to even bother saying something else about it. I've known for a long time now, about all of this newer stuff but about so many things with her, some that I've spoken about and some that I haven't, but it's very clear that she thinks she was just doing this without any consequence all along. Well not to her, of course not. She only cares about self-preservation in the sense that as long as she has things the way that she wants them (currently that means free room and board, espresso drinks, fast and reliable Wi-Fi, a place to do her work, gifts, and honestly I don't even know what if anything else she feels she gets from being with me at this point or how long it's just been that or less, and I guess avoiding the short-term "sting" for someone like her to have to actually get up and move out and maybe for an hour or two feel something that resembles "sad" about the end of an extremely long relationship).
People like her just don't see. I'm the male so I have to just keep my emotions about it all inside. And if I didn't, what would it matter? She'd just deny it all. She'd lie until I was too tired to fight about it anymore and just said, "Okay fine, let's just move on and change the subject". I have to wait until I'm in the bathroom to cry. I don't have any secret social media accounts to vent about any of it on. I don't even have friends whom I'd talk to about this kind of thing because honestly we're older and it's messy. They'd all say why the hell didn't you just get out years ago? Just like every single person has told me over the years. And I'd tell them I don't know.
And now that I've spent like two hours typing, that last paragraph only just now reminded me that she's going to be reading this. Sometimes I forget that everything I'm ever posting is open in a private browser tab on her phone somewhere. Normally, I don't really mind. I had a really long-winded question about the best character build in a video game? By all means, read away. You'll be bored by it just like how you're bored by anything I ever have to say about anything that I'm really interested in to you. Because I'm not one of those emo boys (or girls) online. Because I'm not whoever or whatever you wanted.
But I guess it most of all doesn't matter because I know she's leaving. Words spoken far too much these days, but it is what it is.
I'm really sorry about how long all of this is. I'm really sorry if this is hard to follow or if my thoughts are too scattered or whatever the issue. It's really difficult to write a first and last time In Memorium about a relationship where I've been nothing but lied to, cheated on, and had secrets kept from me for 12 years. So I guess at least I won't be writing about this again.
TL;DR: There is no TL;DR. This is just too long. It's too much. The TL;DR would be a novella and it's just too much for me to do. I'm not offended if you can't or don't want to devote the time to read this. Or if you have trouble following. Or if you don't like me and think I'm a bad person. It's okay. I'd love to hear what anyone has to say about it, sure, but in many ways this is just as much for myself. A final chapter laid to rest.
2023.05.28 17:00 _call-me-al_ [Sun, May 28 2023] TL;DR — This is what you missed in the last 24 hours on Reddit
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pics
Amazing performance at Cannes by Alina Baikova from Ukraine.Comments Link
Hand embroidered chameleon bag made by me.
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Reddit, thank you for putting a huge smile on my tractor hauling Dad this week.
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gifs
Golden Retrievers Playing In The WaterComments Link
The World’s Largest Open Pit Iron Mine In Hibbing, Minnesota. A Manmade Grand Canyon
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M101 Supernova - SN2023ixf
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educationalgifs
Geological evolution of North America in the last 550 millon yearsComments Link
mildlyinteresting
This restaurant named "Thai food near me"Comments Link
My local coffee shop offers a single gummy worm as a food option
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my local nordstrom is closing down and is selling a jetplane ejector seat as a part of their liquidation .-.
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interestingasfuck
Huge colony of bats emerging from a cave in MexicoComments Link
.50 BMG pistol
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Breaking this huge granite
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funny
*Dog rings the bell, gets confused and barks coz "Someone is at the door" *Comments Link
This pumpkin is concerned about his future
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144p cake
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aww
An elderly man feeds 25 super hungry raccoons.Comments Link
*Taking my kitty for a scooter ride to his favorite spot. *
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That is a seVEREly happy dog.
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2023.05.27 17:00 _call-me-al_ [Sat, May 27 2023] TL;DR — This is what you missed in the last 24 hours on Reddit
If you want to receive this as a daily email in your inbox, you can now join at this link
worldnews
Brazilian president refuses to come to Russia at Putin’s invitationComments Link
In Russia, children will be sent to patriotic camps and taught to shoot and fly UAVs
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Ukraine says Russia plans to simulate accident at nuclear power plant
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news
911 call from Lauren Boeberts home involving incident between husband and sonComments Link
New York man indicted on murder charge after 20-year-old woman was shot and killed when car turned in wrong driveway
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Self-proclaimed 'idiot' Oath Keeper sentenced to more than 8 years in Jan. 6 case
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science
In 2016, Germany introduced a policy change that enabled refugees to enter the labor market. This had no adverse effects on natives’ wages and employment rates while improving natives’ attitudes toward migration.Comments Link
Regular exercise may lower risk of Parkinson's disease. The study, of nearly 99,000 French women, found that those who were most physically active day to day were 25% less likely to develop Parkinson's over three decades, versus women who were more sedentary.
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Analysis of Iron age toilets in Jerusalem reveals dysentery causing parasites (6-7 century BCE)
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space
Supermassive black hole at heart of ancient galaxy ‘far larger than expected’Comments Link
In a meeting today of the NASA New Horizons Science Team, a presentation strongly suggests that our solar system actually has a second Kuiper Belt. And the New Horizons spacecraft will be visiting it in a few years.
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NASA's Artemis moon rocket will cost $6 billion more than planned: report
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Futurology
Solar power investment to exceed oil for first time, says IEA chiefComments Link
Scientists use AI to discover new antibiotic to treat deadly superbug Artificial intelligence (AI)
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Hibernation artificially triggered in potential space travel breakthrough
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AskReddit
Florida just passed a law that child molesters could be sentenced to death. Do you agree or disagree and why?Comments Link
Who is a fictional villain you’d have sex with in a heartbeat?
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What’s the best pickup line you’ve ever heard?
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todayilearned
TIL a Chinese teenager defaced a stone sculpture in ancient Egyptian Luxor Temple with graffiti. An embarrassed Chinese traveller photographed it and shared on Weibo. It took just a day before outraged netizens tracked the teenager down in his hometown forcing his parents to apologize for him.Comments Link
TIL: The last imperial eunuch of Chinese history was castrated by his father with a razor to serve the last emperor Pu Yi. However, just mere months after the operation, the emperor was deposed and the system of government changed.
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TIL that it was calculated that it would have taken the concrete for the Hoover Dam 125 years to cool if it was poured as one continuous pour. Instead giant concrete blocks in columns were poured and then cooled by a series of internally contained pipes of cold water, greatly reducing cooling time.
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dataisbeautiful
London Crime Heat Map, with timeline [updated]. Filterable by type of crime and date range (within last two years) See link for Tableau dashboard. [OC] data from gov.ukComments Link
[OC] Berlin rental market analysis
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[OC] Viva Las Data (Exploring Las Vegas)
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Cooking
My friend thinks it's OK to cook eggs on a glass top stove without a panComments Link
Do you put garlic in your guacamole?
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Arugula is sooo good
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food
[Homemade] Garlic parmesan wingsComments Link
[homemade] Dutch baby with homemade blueberry compote
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[Homemade] Cheese Pizza
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movies
Finally watched SicarioComments Link
A new poster for The Boogeyman (2023):
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Holt McCallany & Julianne Nicholson Join Rami Malek In 20th Thriller ‘Amateur’
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Art
Hand Embroidered Chameleon Bag, Alena Kova (me), beads, felt, 2023.Comments Link
Noise, u/ifnotforv, Markers, 2023
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No Strings Attached, me (JUS), pen, 2023
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television
Labor Is Rising”: Hundreds Of Union Workers Gather In Solidarity With WGA At Los Angeles RallyComments Link
SAG-AFTRA President Fran Drescher, Urging Members To Authorize A Strike, Says “Acting Careers Are At Stake”
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Ridley Scott’s ‘Blade Runner: 2099’ Series Could Be Delayed By Up To A Year By Writers Strike
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pics
Deer crashing a wedding photo shootComments Link
Years of meditation wasted.
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Bubba & Lt. Dan back together again (via Gary’s twitter)
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gifs
50 Foot Swells On Lake Superior, MinnesotaComments Link
Border, some pixel art by me.
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Aubrey Plaza and the holy oil.
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educationalgifs
Beans' tendrils slowly rotate to find solid supports to climb.Comments Link
mildlyinteresting
This dark sunflower growing in my gardenComments Link
This clump of Sour Patch Kids I found...
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My local butcher shop has knife handles for the entry
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interestingasfuck
Birth of a chameleonComments Link
Passenger opens emergency door mid air during South Korea flight
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This is a picture of one of the last veterans of the American Civil War, posing in front of a fighter jet (1955)
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funny
it's my parents' anniversary today. i drew this in the card i gave themComments Link
Actors roundtable
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Don’t mind if i do 🤤
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aww
The facial expression she makes every time she takes a sip.Comments Link
How I met my human
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Gorilla thinking
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2023.05.26 21:49 TogetherPlantyAndMe Just want to say I’ve loved what Wordle has done for my family 💚💛💚💛💚
We had a group chat before but didn’t use it often. Certainly didn’t chat every single day. I added my boyfriend, parents, and sister to a group chat to send Wordle scores when we all started. I know a lot of people did this, but I’m so happy ours is still going strong. (The boyfriend is actually now my fiancé and he’s soon to be my husband!)
We definitely didn’t talk to each other every day, and we certainly didn’t all talk in one chat. Now we do! Some days we just send the Wordle scores, some days we explain why we did bad (I didn’t have coffee yet! I have a cold! These crazy cats are distracting me!) Certainly more info than we shared daily before. There’s a lot of light hearted teasing. My dad sends gifs! Last week I made a joke about Peanuts (because I missed GRIEF by one letter twice, talk about good grief!) and later my mom asked if I had ever watched Peanuts. I told her of course, because we watched A Charlie Brown Christmas together most years. She remembered then and we got to reminisce on happy holiday memories.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t unique, but it makes me so happy. Thanks, Wordle 💚💛
submitted by TogetherPlantyAndMe to wordle [link] [comments]
We definitely didn’t talk to each other every day, and we certainly didn’t all talk in one chat. Now we do! Some days we just send the Wordle scores, some days we explain why we did bad (I didn’t have coffee yet! I have a cold! These crazy cats are distracting me!) Certainly more info than we shared daily before. There’s a lot of light hearted teasing. My dad sends gifs! Last week I made a joke about Peanuts (because I missed GRIEF by one letter twice, talk about good grief!) and later my mom asked if I had ever watched Peanuts. I told her of course, because we watched A Charlie Brown Christmas together most years. She remembered then and we got to reminisce on happy holiday memories.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t unique, but it makes me so happy. Thanks, Wordle 💚💛
2023.05.26 18:46 M_Tootles Sweetrobin's Doll Isn't the Only "Giant" In The Snow Castle (Spoilers Extended)
(TL;DR in the conclusion at the bottom. But David Lynch fans will miss the Blue Velvet clue if they do that.)
Earlier this week on the ASOIAF subreddit, FROTHYxCOFFEE asked about the identity of the "giant" in the Ghost of High Heart's seemingly prophetic vision in ASOS Arya VIII:
That bigger pay-off, it's popularly believed, is that the "savage giant" Sansa will slay is Littlefinger, where Petyr 'is' the giant since his grandfather's sigil was "a grey stone head with fiery eyes" representing the Titan of Braavos — a kind of giant (the rationale goes):
Nonetheless, I have to point out that when the "popular belief" focuses on and (probably rightly) dismisses the idea that Sansa tearing the doll's head off in the snow castle Winterfell could be Sansa "slaying the savage giant in a castle built of snow", it overlooks a more subtle reading of the doll-and-snow castle incident per which it is part of a far more significant pay-off for the Ghost of High Heart's prophecy.
Thus the Ghost's prophecy may well be about Sansa killing Sweetrobin by (accidentally) poisoning him with sweetsleep ("the gentlest of poisons") to keep him calm during a feast, in keeping with the prophecy's referring to Sansa when she's "slaying a savage giant" as "that maid again", which points back to how she's first described, as a venomous "maid at a feast":
I see two potential problems with this reading. They're not necessarily fatal, but they're not nothing. Certainly they're enough to consider that the doll-and-snow-castle incident may be at the core of this, after all, albeit not in the consequence-free way so easily and popularly dismissed.
(Petyr's disavowals of his paternal lineage dovetails with Petyr arguably seeming to care more about his mother than his father. [He names "Alayne" after his mother, but says nothing much about his father save to mock him for bringing Petyr to a hermit to have him tell his future when he was a boy.] Full disclosure: I happen to think Petyr's mother's lineage is very, very, very significant, so the idea that he cares about his maternal bloodline than his father's dovetails with my preconceived notions. But nevertheless.)
It's not a "giant" because giants aren't titans. And not just because are titans and giants are totally different things in classical (Greek) mythology. The bigger problem is that titans and giants are cleary wildly different things diegetically (i.e. in-world).
A titan, in the world of ASOIAF, truly is a giant man:
It's true that in Old Nan's stories — whose version of a giant is totally debunked by reality, remember — the Titan of Braavos is a verbatim "giant" in that same "giant man" sense:
However, where the Titan of Braavos of Old Nan's fiction is clearly savage, per se, like the "savage giant" in the Ghost of High Heart's vision—
In sum: People might 'be' their sigils, but (a) Littlefinger 'isn't' the Titan of Braavos, and (b) even if he were, the Titan of Braavos isn't properly "a savage giant" unless you squint.
That said, make no mistake: you always have to squint a bit when it comes to prophecy, and I am thus in no way saying that Littlefinger is deductively ruled out as the referent of the Ghost's prophecy. I'm just saying there are good reasons to think he might not be.
First, there's the simple fact that Robert lives in a castle in the clouds—
Indeed, that climb is also giant-coded, in its way:
Second, as Lord of the Vale and the Eyrie, Robert has dominion over the Giant's Lance (the mountain the Eyrie is built on), which can be seen as 'coding' him as "the Giant" in question.
Third, recall that young Lord Robert throws his chamber pot at Maester Colemon and shatters it (which is hardly a civilized thing to do, and arguably savage). In so doing, he creates a scene that recalls another scene caused by a (different) figurative 'savage giant': Shagga is a verbatim "savage" and a figurative 'giant' — he is "massive" per AGOT Tyrion VI, and his "hand was so big he could have crushed the maester's skull like an eggshell had he squeezed" per ACOK Tyrion VI — and he smashes in Maester Pycelle's door and causes him to piss everywhere:
And note that true giants "snuffled constantly". Who does that sound like if not Sweetrobin?
Note 1: Those "plush blue velvet" curtains — combined with Sweetrobin's latent 'horniness' for "Alayne" — should jump off the page as a further reference to giant-like "snuffling" to anyone who's seen David Lynch's 1986 masterpiece Blue Velvet, a film in which the main villain Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper) keeps a singer prisoner (a la Petyr holding Marillion prisoner!) in an always dark(!) apartment, infamously huffs gas out of a mask in a 'snuffling' fashion, gets horri-comically horny, stuffs his mouth with her plush blue velvet robe, which he parts like curtains before calling her "mommy" (regarding which, recall that Robert asks Sansa "Are you my mother now?" while laying his head between her breasts in AFFC Sansa I) and raping her. Literal curtains are featured prominently in the film as well, including in the singer's dark apartment. See here, and see the wikipedia page devoted to the character: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Booth_(Blue_Velvet).
For what it's worth, I believe GRRM is clearly a giant (har!) Lynch fan and that ASOIAF is stuffed full of Lynch references. A book about Lynch [is visible] on a shelf in the background of a GRRM video interview. It's no surprise: Lynch directed Dune, and Twin Peaks revolutionized television when GRRM was writing TV. I actually have a huge essay written up about the what I see as the massive influence of Twin Peaks on ASOIAF. Apropos of the topic at hand, I'll just note that the Eyrie is full of "winches", and that GRRM gives us a Lord "Wynch" — it rhymes with Lynch — who is the first supporter of the BOB-like villain Euron and whose first name just so happens to be Waldon, a la Waldo, the bird that plays a key role in Twin Peaks.
Anyway, the point here, again, is simply that blue velvet curtains remind us of some of the most famous "snuffling" in the history of cinema, and thus further hint that Sweetrobin is, indeed, a figurative 'giant'.
End Footnote
By the way, Robert abiding in darkness—
EDIT: If this comes to pass, I do wonder whether the "purple serpents" motif may get another pay-off in the form of a purple ribbon in Sansa's hair, like the (notably velvet!) ribbon she tries on as Alayne here:
(Notice that the circling hawk recalls the falcons of the Vale, while "Reeds" recalls Howland Reed, who I believe attends the "feast" in TWOW Alayne I in the guise of Ser Shadrich of the Shady Glen.)
END EDIT
Could the prophecy (also?) be about Littlefinger? About an Umber? Sure. But to dismiss the castle in the snow incident as if Robert's doll is the only figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow" there is to dismiss a straw man. (See what I did there?)
submitted by M_Tootles to asoiaf [link] [comments]
Earlier this week on the ASOIAF subreddit, FROTHYxCOFFEE asked about the identity of the "giant" in the Ghost of High Heart's seemingly prophetic vision in ASOS Arya VIII:
"I dreamt a wolf howling in the rain, but no one heard his grief," the dwarf woman was saying. "I dreamt such a clangor I thought my head might burst, drums and horns and pipes and screams, but the saddest sound was the little bells. I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow."The indefatigable BaelBard responded by providing what they called "the popular belief" (which was indeed proved "popular" when their summary comment got 300+ upvotes): that although the prophecy is apparently fulfilled by Sansa tearing the head off Sweetrobin's doll after he uses it to smash her snow castle Winterfell, thus figuratively "slaying" a figurative "giant"—
"Winterfell is the seat of House Stark," Sansa told her husband-to-be. "The great castle of the north."—this interpretation is "a red herring". The (demonstrably) "popular belief" is that because this is a minor, irrelevant event compared to the Ghost of High Heart's other prophecies, surely there must be a bigger pay-off.
"It's not so great." The boy knelt before the gatehouse. "Look, here comes a giant to knock it down." He stood his doll in the snow and moved it jerkily. "Tromp tromp I'm a giant, I'm a giant," he chanted. "Ho ho ho, open your gates or I'll mash them and smash them." Swinging the doll by the legs, he knocked the top off one gatehouse tower and then the other.
It was more than Sansa could stand. "Robert, stop that." Instead he swung the doll again, and a foot of wall exploded. She grabbed for his hand but she caught the doll instead. There was a loud ripping sound as the thin cloth tore. Suddenly she had the doll's head, Robert had the legs and body, and the rag-and-sawdust stuffing was spilling in the snow. (ASOS Sansa VII)
That bigger pay-off, it's popularly believed, is that the "savage giant" Sansa will slay is Littlefinger, where Petyr 'is' the giant since his grandfather's sigil was "a grey stone head with fiery eyes" representing the Titan of Braavos — a kind of giant (the rationale goes):
The device painted on the shield was one Sansa did not know; a grey stone head with fiery eyes, upon a light green field. "My grandfather's shield," Petyr explained when he saw her gazing at it. "His own father was born in Braavos and came to the Vale as a sellsword in the hire of Lord Corbray, so my grandfather took the head of the Titan as his sigil when he was knighted."It's generally theorized that this will take place in Winterfell, since Sansa's snow castle is meant to be Winterfell, although some say it will happen in the Eyrie, which Sansa calls "a castle made of snow":
"It's very fierce," said Sansa.
"Rather too fierce, for an amiable fellow like me," said Petyr. "I much prefer my mockingbird." (ASOS Sansa VI)
The Eyrie shrank above them. … A honeycomb made of ice, Alayne thought, a castle made of snow. (AFFC Alayne II)I know many people believe Littlefinger will surely "get his" at Sansa's hands, and in saying what I'm going to say, I am not saying he necessarily won't. Prophecies can have multiple payoffs.
Nonetheless, I have to point out that when the "popular belief" focuses on and (probably rightly) dismisses the idea that Sansa tearing the doll's head off in the snow castle Winterfell could be Sansa "slaying the savage giant in a castle built of snow", it overlooks a more subtle reading of the doll-and-snow castle incident per which it is part of a far more significant pay-off for the Ghost of High Heart's prophecy.
"I'm a giant, I'm a giant"
I submit that if the Ghost of High Heart's vision of a maid "slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow" is indeed about the doll-and-snow-castle incident in the Eyrie, it surely isn't about Sansa figuratively "slaying" Sweetrobin's doll by ripping its head off, as most seem to assume when dismissing this as the possible 'pay-off', but rather about Sansa "slaying" Sweetrobin himself, because Sweetrobin is, in that very moment, 'coded' as a figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow".- How is Sweetrobin himself "a savage giant in a castle built of snow"?
"Tromp tromp I'm a giant, I'm a giant," [Sweetrobin] chanted. "Ho ho ho, open your gates or I'll mash them and smash them."—and actions:
Lord Robert's mouth trembled. "You killlllllllled him," he wailed. Then he began to shake. It started with no more than a little shivering, but within a few short heartbeats he had collapsed across the castle, his limbs flailing about violently.Thus the doll-and-snow-castle incident establishes Lord Robert as a figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow", not just because he declares "I'm a giant, I'm a giant," but because he 'is' a giant relative to the size of the "castle built of snow" he is physically "in" when he "collapsed across" it — i.e. he 'is' a giant in the exact same way his doll 'is' a giant, per the popular interpretation of these events that is generally at once accepted as 'correct' (in that it's intended) but dismissed as a sneaky red herring.
Thus the Ghost's prophecy may well be about Sansa killing Sweetrobin by (accidentally) poisoning him with sweetsleep ("the gentlest of poisons") to keep him calm during a feast, in keeping with the prophecy's referring to Sansa when she's "slaying a savage giant" as "that maid again", which points back to how she's first described, as a venomous "maid at a feast":
"I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow."Note that it is apt indeed that when Lord Robert is established as a figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow", he is having a shaking fit, given that it would be the need to quiet such a shaking fit that would lead Sansa to (inadvertently, presumably) "slay" him.
Slaying By Poison At A Feast
The foreshadowing for Sansa poisoning and thereby slaying the boy who was for a moment "a savage giant in a castle built of snow" is all there, and rather blatant:"Perhaps a pinch of sweetsleep in his milk, have you tried that? Just a pinch, to calm him and stop his wretched shaking."It's unclear whether that feast ever happens, as they don't reach the Gates of the Moon until most are asleep. But Sweetrobin definitely attends a(nother) verbatim "feast" at which, Sansa presumes, he is dosed with more sweetsleep:
"A pinch?" The apple in the maester's throat moved up and down as he swallowed. "One small pinch . . . perhaps, perhaps. Not too much, and not too often, yes, I might try . . ."
"A pinch," Lord Petyr said, "before you bring him forth to meet the lords." (AFFC Alayne I)
[T]he burden of getting Sweetrobin safely down the mountain fell on her. "Give his lordship a cup of sweetmilk," [Sansa] told the maester. "That will stop him from shaking on the journey down."
"He had a cup not three days past," Colemon objected.
"And wanted another last night, which you refused him."
"It was too soon. My lady, you do not understand. As I've told the Lord Protector, a pinch of sweetsleep will prevent the shaking, but it does not leave the flesh, and in time . . ."
"Time will not matter if his lordship has a shaking fit and falls off the mountain. If my father were here, I know he would tell you to keep Lord Robert calm at all costs."
"I try, my lady, yet his fits grow ever more violent, and his blood is so thin I dare not leech him any more. Sweetsleep . . . you are certain he was not bleeding from the nose?"
"He was sniffling," Alayne admitted, "but I saw no blood."
"I must speak to the Lord Protector. This feast … is that wise, I wonder, after the strain of the descent?"
"It will not be a large feast," she assured him. "No more than forty guests. Lord Nestor and his household, the Knight of the Gate, a few lesser lords and their retainers …"
"Lord Robert mislikes strangers, you know that, and there will be drinking, noise … music. Music frightens him."
"Music soothes him," she corrected, "the high harp especially. It's singing he can’t abide, since Marillion killed his mother." Alayne had told the lie so many times that she remembered it that way more oft than not; the other seemed no more than a bad dream that sometimes troubled her sleep. "Lord Nestor will have no singers at the feast, only flutes and fiddles for the dancing." What would she do when the music began to play? It was a vexing question, to which her heart and head gave different answers. Sansa loved to dance, but Alayne . . . "Just give him a cup of the sweetmilk before we go, and another at the feast, and there should be no trouble." (AFFC Alayne II)
As they waited for the music to resume, Alayne glanced at the dais, where Lord Robert sat staring at them. Please, she prayed, don't let him start to twitch and shake. Not here. Not now. Maester Coleman would have made certain that he drank a strong dose of sweetmilk before the feast, but even so. (TWOW Alayne I)We have not yet seen the end of that feast, but assuming Robert survives, there are sure to be more feasts soon. After all, that's just the welcome feast for the tourney. Doubtless there will be more feasting, and something tells me Sweetrobin and his sweet-tooth for sweetmilk—
"He had a cup not three days past," Colemon objected.—won't make it:
"And wanted another last night, which you refused him." (AFFC Alayne II)
No matter what you offered him, Robert always wanted more. (AFFC Alayne II)
"If Robert were to die . . ."
Petyr arched an eyebrow. "When Robert dies. Our poor brave Sweetrobin is such a sickly boy, it is only a matter of time. When Robert dies, Harry the Heir becomes Lord Harrold, Defender of the Vale and Lord of the Eyrie. (AFFC Alayne II)
What About Littlefinger?
Some may think this sounds plausible enough, but that surely the Ghost's vision has to be about Littlefinger, given that his sigil is 'really' the Titan of Braavos.I see two potential problems with this reading. They're not necessarily fatal, but they're not nothing. Certainly they're enough to consider that the doll-and-snow-castle incident may be at the core of this, after all, albeit not in the consequence-free way so easily and popularly dismissed.
Problem 1: Petyr Baelish 'Is' A Mockingbird, Not The Titan of Braavos
First, Petyr's grandfather's/father's sigil simply isn't his sigil. It's hanging up on the wall in a tower that seems more his father's than his own (consider the age of the servants) and he explicitly disavows it, calling it "my grandfather's shield" and saying the sigil is…"Rather too fierce for an amiable fellow like me. … I much prefer my mockingbird."People in Westeros might 'be' their sigils—
"You Westerosi are all the same. You sew some beast upon a scrap of silk, and suddenly you are all lions or dragons or eagles." (ADWD Tyrion I)—but Petyr Baelish's sigil simply isn't a representation of the Titan of Braavos: It's a mockingbird. Making him if anything a figurative mockingbird.
(Petyr's disavowals of his paternal lineage dovetails with Petyr arguably seeming to care more about his mother than his father. [He names "Alayne" after his mother, but says nothing much about his father save to mock him for bringing Petyr to a hermit to have him tell his future when he was a boy.] Full disclosure: I happen to think Petyr's mother's lineage is very, very, very significant, so the idea that he cares about his maternal bloodline than his father's dovetails with my preconceived notions. But nevertheless.)
Problem 2: The Titan Is Not A "Savage Giant"
Second, the Titan of Braavos isn't "a savage giant". Indeed, it's neither "savage" nor a "giant".It's not a "giant" because giants aren't titans. And not just because are titans and giants are totally different things in classical (Greek) mythology. The bigger problem is that titans and giants are cleary wildly different things diegetically (i.e. in-world).
A titan, in the world of ASOIAF, truly is a giant man:
The whole city is built in a lagoon on a hundred little islands, and they have a titan there, a stone man hundreds of feet high. (AFFC Samwell II)A giant, in the world of ASOIAF (as contrasted to the "giants" of Old Nan's stories), is something else entirely:
In Old Nan's stories, giants were outsized men who lived in colossal castles, fought with huge swords, and walked about in boots a boy could hide in. These were something else, more bearlike than human, and as wooly as the mammoths they rode. Seated, it was hard to say how big they truly were. Ten feet tall maybe, or twelve, Jon thought. Maybe fourteen, but no taller. Their sloping chests might have passed for those of men, but their arms hung down too far, and their lower torsos looked half again as wide as their upper. Their legs were shorter than their arms, but very thick, and they wore no boots at all; their feet were broad splayed things, hard and horny and black. Neckless, their huge heavy heads thrust forward from between their shoulder blades, and their faces were squashed and brutal. Rats' eyes no larger than beads were almost lost within folds of horny flesh, but they snuffled constantly, smelling as much as they saw. (ASOS Jon II)Indeed, while Old Nan's stories get this wrong, there seem to be stories told to children that understand this, judging by Shireen's reaction to Wun Wun:
Princess Shireen's eyes went wide as dinner plates. "He's a giant! A real true giant, like from the stories. But why does he talk so funny?" (ADWD Jon IX)(Perhaps Shireen heard her stories from Cressen.)
It's true that in Old Nan's stories — whose version of a giant is totally debunked by reality, remember — the Titan of Braavos is a verbatim "giant" in that same "giant man" sense:
The Titan of Braavos. Old Nan had told them stories of the Titan back in Winterfell. He was a giant as tall as a mountain, and whenever Braavos stood in danger he would wake with fire in his eyes, his rocky limbs grinding and groaning as he waded out into the sea to smash the enemies.And that much, at least, fits with the Titan of Braavos as he actually appears.
However, where the Titan of Braavos of Old Nan's fiction is clearly savage, per se, like the "savage giant" in the Ghost of High Heart's vision—
"The Braavosi feed him on the juicy pink flesh of little highborn girls," Nan would end, and Sansa would give a stupid squeak. (AFFC Arya I)—the idea that the Titan of Braavos is truly a "savage giant" is once again not born out by the reality of an inert statue (even if you accept that the Titan 'is' a "giant" of sorts, even if only in a figurative sense). Maester Luwin was right, at least as regards giants and titans:
But Maester Luwin said the Titan was only a statue, and Old Nan's stories were only stories.Indeed, given the banking industry, commercial orientation, and anti-slavery policies of Braavos, the Titan of Braavos is more like a sign of civilization than savagery by Planetosi standards: a kind of Colossus of Rhodes. Even its green hair, which might say "Incredible Hulk" to us, hardly has "savage" connotations on Planetos, where the brother of the Archon of Tyrosh has a green beard.
In sum: People might 'be' their sigils, but (a) Littlefinger 'isn't' the Titan of Braavos, and (b) even if he were, the Titan of Braavos isn't properly "a savage giant" unless you squint.
That said, make no mistake: you always have to squint a bit when it comes to prophecy, and I am thus in no way saying that Littlefinger is deductively ruled out as the referent of the Ghost's prophecy. I'm just saying there are good reasons to think he might not be.
More On Sweetrobin The "Savage Giant", Featuring A Reference To David Lynch's Blue Velvet That Supports This Reading
I want to close by drawing attention to a few more things that put the whiff of "savage giant" on and around Sweetrobin.First, there's the simple fact that Robert lives in a castle in the clouds—
Seven towers, Ned had told her, like white daggers thrust into the belly of the sky, so high you can stand on the parapets and look down on the clouds. (AGOT Cateyn VI)—reached by a perilous climb, which clearly recalls the castle in the clouds in which the giant abides in Jack and the Beanstalk.
Indeed, that climb is also giant-coded, in its way:
"Sweetrobin," she said gently, "the descent will be ever so jolly, you'll see."Jolly, a la the [Jolly Green Giant].
Second, as Lord of the Vale and the Eyrie, Robert has dominion over the Giant's Lance (the mountain the Eyrie is built on), which can be seen as 'coding' him as "the Giant" in question.
Third, recall that young Lord Robert throws his chamber pot at Maester Colemon and shatters it (which is hardly a civilized thing to do, and arguably savage). In so doing, he creates a scene that recalls another scene caused by a (different) figurative 'savage giant': Shagga is a verbatim "savage" and a figurative 'giant' — he is "massive" per AGOT Tyrion VI, and his "hand was so big he could have crushed the maester's skull like an eggshell had he squeezed" per ACOK Tyrion VI — and he smashes in Maester Pycelle's door and causes him to piss everywhere:
Roaring, Shagga leapt forward. Pycelle shrieked and wet the bed, urine spraying in all directions as he tried to scramble back out of reach. (ibid.)Setting aside the 'rhyme' Sweetrobin throwing his chamber pot sets up between himself and Shagga the savage giant (thereby suggesting that Sweetrobin, too, is a figurative savage giant), consider the language from the aftermath of Sweetrobin chucking his chamber pot:
"Might I let some sun in?"The noted verbiage 'just so happens' to be tightly reminiscent of what we're told about true giants, their squinty rat eyes, and their "smelling as much as they saw":
"No. The light hurts my eyes. Come to bed, Alayne."
She went to the windows anyway, edging around the broken chamber pot. She could smell it better than she saw it. (AFFC Alayne II)
Rats' eyes no larger than beads were almost lost within folds of horny flesh, but they snuffled constantly, smelling as much as they saw. (ASOS Jon II)Note the sympatico double entendre wordplay as well: Robert saying "Come to bed, Alayne" vs. the "horny flesh" of the giants.
And note that true giants "snuffled constantly". Who does that sound like if not Sweetrobin?
Alayne slipped into the darkened bedchamber. "It's only me, Sweetrobin."
Someone sniffled in the darkness. "Are you alone?" (Alayne II)
She went to the windows anyway, edging around the broken chamber pot. She could smell it better than she saw it. "I shan't open them very wide. Only enough to see my Sweetrobin's face."
He sniffled. "If you must."
The curtains were of plush blue velvet¹.
"I don't love her. She's just the mule girl." Robert sniffled. (AFFC Alayne II)
"He was sniffling," Alayne admitted, "but I saw no blood." (AFFC Alayne II)
For what it's worth, I believe GRRM is clearly a giant (har!) Lynch fan and that ASOIAF is stuffed full of Lynch references. A book about Lynch [is visible] on a shelf in the background of a GRRM video interview. It's no surprise: Lynch directed Dune, and Twin Peaks revolutionized television when GRRM was writing TV. I actually have a huge essay written up about the what I see as the massive influence of Twin Peaks on ASOIAF. Apropos of the topic at hand, I'll just note that the Eyrie is full of "winches", and that GRRM gives us a Lord "Wynch" — it rhymes with Lynch — who is the first supporter of the BOB-like villain Euron and whose first name just so happens to be Waldon, a la Waldo, the bird that plays a key role in Twin Peaks.
Anyway, the point here, again, is simply that blue velvet curtains remind us of some of the most famous "snuffling" in the history of cinema, and thus further hint that Sweetrobin is, indeed, a figurative 'giant'.
End Footnote
Alayne slipped into the darkened bedchamber. "It's only me, Sweetrobin."—sets him up as akin to Old Nan's version of giants as they appear in a story—
Someone sniffled in the darkness. "Are you alone?" (Alayne II)
[Arya] remembered a story Old Nan had told once, about a man imprisoned in a dark castle by evil giants. He was very brave and smart and he tricked the giants and escaped . . . but no sooner was he outside the castle than the Others took him, and drank his hot red blood. (ACOK Arya III)—that sounds like one of the stories Sweetrobin asks Alayne to read to him moments after she enters his "darkened bedchamber":
"I don't want food," the little lord said, in a reedy, petulant voice. "I'm going to stay in bed today. You could read to me if you want."Finally, as many have noticed, Robert's preference for the darkness, his pale skin, his red eyes, and his belief that he still hears Marillion singing—
"It is too dark in here for reading." The heavy curtains drawn across the windows made the bedchamber black as night. (AFFC Alayne II)
"I want to go back to bed. I never slept last night. I heard singing. Maester Colemon gave me dreamwine but I could still hear it."—suggest he is is "gifted" in a weirwood-net-adjacent way similar to Jojen, Bran, and/or Bloodraven. Thus to a fellow clairvoyant like the Ghost of High Heart, he may truly seem like a 'giant' indeed.
Alayne put down her spoon. "If there had been singing, I should have heard it too. You had a bad dream, that's all."
"No, it wasn't a dream." Tears filled his eyes. "Marillion was singing again. Your father says he's dead, but he isn't." (AFFC Alayne I)
Summary/TL;DR
So that's it. If the Ghost of High Heart's vision of "that maid again" — "a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs" — "slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow" is related to the doll-and-snow-castle incident, it's surely not merely about Sansa figuratively slaying Sweetrobin's doll, but about Sansa slaying Sweetrobin himself, who is 'coded' as a figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow" during that incident—"Tromp tromp I'm a giant, I'm a giant," he chanted. "Ho ho ho, open your gates or I'll mash them and smash them."—and who is primed to die of an overdose of sweetsleep, a "poison" which would be consistent with the venomous imagery with which the Ghost's prophecy depicts Sansa.
It started with no more than a little shivering, but within a few short heartbeats [Sweetrobin] had collapsed across the castle [built of snow], his limbs flailing about violently.
EDIT: If this comes to pass, I do wonder whether the "purple serpents" motif may get another pay-off in the form of a purple ribbon in Sansa's hair, like the (notably velvet!) ribbon she tries on as Alayne here:
In the end she chose a simple velvet ribbon in autumn gold. When Gretchel fetched her Lysa's silvered looking glass, the color seemed just perfect with Alayne's mass of dark brown hair. (AFFC Alayne I)It's worth noting that in the opening line of ACOK Ayra IV, we see a specifically colored "ribbon" deployed as a metaphor for a thing associated with snakes:
The river was a blue-green ribbon shining in the morning sun. Reeds grew thick in the shallows along the banks, and Arya saw a water snake skimming across the surface, ripples spreading out behind it as it went. Overhead a hawk flew in lazy circles.If a river with a snake in it can figurative 'be' a specifically colored ribbon, couldn't the "purple serpents" in the maid's hair in the prophecy be a figurative stand-in for a literal ribbon Sansa wears to a feast at which Robert dies from sweetsleep she gives him (in addition to foreshadowing the purple wedding)? Indeed, a similar conflation is at the heart of one of the most famous murder mysteries in literature: The Speckled Band.
(Notice that the circling hawk recalls the falcons of the Vale, while "Reeds" recalls Howland Reed, who I believe attends the "feast" in TWOW Alayne I in the guise of Ser Shadrich of the Shady Glen.)
END EDIT
Could the prophecy (also?) be about Littlefinger? About an Umber? Sure. But to dismiss the castle in the snow incident as if Robert's doll is the only figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow" there is to dismiss a straw man. (See what I did there?)
2023.05.26 18:45 M_Tootles Sweetrobin's Doll Isn't the Only "Giant" In The Snow Castle (Spoilers TWOW)
(TL;DR in the conclusion at the bottom. But David Lynch fans will miss the Blue Velvet clue if they do that.)
Earlier this week on the ASOIAF subreddit, FROTHYxCOFFEE asked about the identity of the "giant" in the Ghost of High Heart's seemingly prophetic vision in ASOS Arya VIII:
That bigger pay-off, it's popularly believed, is that the "savage giant" Sansa will slay is Littlefinger, where Petyr 'is' the giant since his grandfather's sigil was "a grey stone head with fiery eyes" representing the Titan of Braavos — a kind of giant (the rationale goes):
Nonetheless, I have to point out that when the "popular belief" focuses on and (probably rightly) dismisses the idea that Sansa tearing the doll's head off in the snow castle Winterfell could be Sansa "slaying the savage giant in a castle built of snow", it overlooks a more subtle reading of the doll-and-snow castle incident per which it is part of a far more significant pay-off for the Ghost of High Heart's prophecy.
Thus the Ghost's prophecy may well be about Sansa killing Sweetrobin by (accidentally) poisoning him with sweetsleep ("the gentlest of poisons") to keep him calm during a feast, in keeping with the prophecy's referring to Sansa when she's "slaying a savage giant" as "that maid again", which points back to how she's first described, as a venomous "maid at a feast":
I see two potential problems with this reading. They're not necessarily fatal, but they're not nothing. Certainly they're enough to consider that the doll-and-snow-castle incident may be at the core of this, after all, albeit not in the consequence-free way so easily and popularly dismissed.
(Petyr's disavowals of his paternal lineage dovetails with Petyr arguably seeming to care more about his mother than his father. [He names "Alayne" after his mother, but says nothing much about his father save to mock him for bringing Petyr to a hermit to have him tell his future when he was a boy.] Full disclosure: I happen to think Petyr's mother's lineage is very, very, very significant, so the idea that he cares about his maternal bloodline than his father's dovetails with my preconceived notions. But nevertheless.)
It's not a "giant" because giants aren't titans. And not just because are titans and giants are totally different things in classical (Greek) mythology. The bigger problem is that titans and giants are cleary wildly different things diegetically (i.e. in-world).
A titan, in the world of ASOIAF, truly is a giant man:
It's true that in Old Nan's stories — whose version of a giant is totally debunked by reality, remember — the Titan of Braavos is a verbatim "giant" in that same "giant man" sense:
However, where the Titan of Braavos of Old Nan's fiction is clearly savage, per se, like the "savage giant" in the Ghost of High Heart's vision—
In sum: People might 'be' their sigils, but (a) Littlefinger 'isn't' the Titan of Braavos, and (b) even if he were, the Titan of Braavos isn't properly "a savage giant" unless you squint.
That said, make no mistake: you always have to squint a bit when it comes to prophecy, and I am thus in no way saying that Littlefinger is deductively ruled out as the referent of the Ghost's prophecy. I'm just saying there are good reasons to think he might not be.
First, there's the simple fact that Robert lives in a castle in the clouds—
Indeed, that climb is also giant-coded, in its way:
Second, as Lord of the Vale and the Eyrie, Robert has dominion over the Giant's Lance (the mountain the Eyrie is built on), which can be seen as 'coding' him as "the Giant" in question.
Third, recall that young Lord Robert throws his chamber pot at Maester Colemon and shatters it (which is hardly a civilized thing to do, and arguably savage). In so doing, he creates a scene that recalls another scene caused by a (different) figurative 'savage giant': Shagga is a verbatim "savage" and a figurative 'giant' — he is "massive" per AGOT Tyrion VI, and his "hand was so big he could have crushed the maester's skull like an eggshell had he squeezed" per ACOK Tyrion VI — and he smashes in Maester Pycelle's door and causes him to piss everywhere:
And note that true giants "snuffled constantly". Who does that sound like if not Sweetrobin?
Note 1: Those "plush blue velvet" curtains — combined with Sweetrobin's latent 'horniness' for "Alayne" — should jump off the page as a further reference to giant-like "snuffling" to anyone who's seen David Lynch's 1986 masterpiece Blue Velvet, a film in which the main villain Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper) keeps a singer prisoner (a la Petyr holding Marillion prisoner!) in an always dark(!) apartment, infamously huffs gas out of a mask in a 'snuffling' fashion, gets horri-comically horny, stuffs his mouth with her plush blue velvet robe, which he parts like curtains before calling her "mommy" (regarding which, recall that Robert asks Sansa "Are you my mother now?" while laying his head between her breasts in AFFC Sansa I) and raping her. Literal curtains are featured prominently in the film as well, including in the singer's dark apartment. See here, and see the wikipedia page devoted to the character: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Booth_(Blue_Velvet).
For what it's worth, I believe GRRM is clearly a giant (har!) Lynch fan and that ASOIAF is stuffed full of Lynch references. A book about Lynch [is visible] on a shelf in the background of a GRRM video interview. It's no surprise: Lynch directed Dune, and Twin Peaks revolutionized television when GRRM was writing TV. I actually have a huge essay written up about the what I see as the massive influence of Twin Peaks on ASOIAF. Apropos of the topic at hand, I'll just note that the Eyrie is full of "winches", and that GRRM gives us a Lord "Wynch" — it rhymes with Lynch — who is the first supporter of the BOB-like villain Euron and whose first name just so happens to be Waldon, a la Waldo, the bird that plays a key role in Twin Peaks.
Anyway, the point here, again, is simply that blue velvet curtains remind us of some of the most famous "snuffling" in the history of cinema, and thus further hint that Sweetrobin is, indeed, a figurative 'giant'.
End Footnote
By the way, Robert abiding in darkness—
EDIT: If this comes to pass, I do wonder whether the "purple serpents" motif may get another pay-off in the form of a purple ribbon in Sansa's hair, like the (notably velvet!) ribbon she tries on as Alayne here:
(Notice that the circling hawk recalls the falcons of the Vale, while "Reeds" recalls Howland Reed, who I believe attends the "feast" in TWOW Alayne I in the guise of Ser Shadrich of the Shady Glen.)
END EDIT
Could the prophecy (also?) be about Littlefinger? About an Umber? Sure. But to dismiss the castle in the snow incident as if Robert's doll is the only figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow" there is to dismiss a straw man. (See what I did there?)
submitted by M_Tootles to pureasoiaf [link] [comments]
Earlier this week on the ASOIAF subreddit, FROTHYxCOFFEE asked about the identity of the "giant" in the Ghost of High Heart's seemingly prophetic vision in ASOS Arya VIII:
"I dreamt a wolf howling in the rain, but no one heard his grief," the dwarf woman was saying. "I dreamt such a clangor I thought my head might burst, drums and horns and pipes and screams, but the saddest sound was the little bells. I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow."The indefatigable BaelBard responded by providing what they called "the popular belief" (which was indeed proved "popular" when their summary comment got 300+ upvotes): that although the prophecy is apparently fulfilled by Sansa tearing the head off Sweetrobin's doll after he uses it to smash her snow castle Winterfell, thus figuratively "slaying" a figurative "giant"—
"Winterfell is the seat of House Stark," Sansa told her husband-to-be. "The great castle of the north."—this interpretation is "a red herring". The (demonstrably) "popular belief" is that because this is a minor, irrelevant event compared to the Ghost of High Heart's other prophecies, surely there must be a bigger pay-off.
"It's not so great." The boy knelt before the gatehouse. "Look, here comes a giant to knock it down." He stood his doll in the snow and moved it jerkily. "Tromp tromp I'm a giant, I'm a giant," he chanted. "Ho ho ho, open your gates or I'll mash them and smash them." Swinging the doll by the legs, he knocked the top off one gatehouse tower and then the other.
It was more than Sansa could stand. "Robert, stop that." Instead he swung the doll again, and a foot of wall exploded. She grabbed for his hand but she caught the doll instead. There was a loud ripping sound as the thin cloth tore. Suddenly she had the doll's head, Robert had the legs and body, and the rag-and-sawdust stuffing was spilling in the snow. (ASOS Sansa VII)
That bigger pay-off, it's popularly believed, is that the "savage giant" Sansa will slay is Littlefinger, where Petyr 'is' the giant since his grandfather's sigil was "a grey stone head with fiery eyes" representing the Titan of Braavos — a kind of giant (the rationale goes):
The device painted on the shield was one Sansa did not know; a grey stone head with fiery eyes, upon a light green field. "My grandfather's shield," Petyr explained when he saw her gazing at it. "His own father was born in Braavos and came to the Vale as a sellsword in the hire of Lord Corbray, so my grandfather took the head of the Titan as his sigil when he was knighted."It's generally theorized that this will take place in Winterfell, since Sansa's snow castle is meant to be Winterfell, although some say it will happen in the Eyrie, which Sansa calls "a castle made of snow":
"It's very fierce," said Sansa.
"Rather too fierce, for an amiable fellow like me," said Petyr. "I much prefer my mockingbird." (ASOS Sansa VI)
The Eyrie shrank above them. … A honeycomb made of ice, Alayne thought, a castle made of snow. (AFFC Alayne II)I know many people believe Littlefinger will surely "get his" at Sansa's hands, and in saying what I'm going to say, I am not saying he necessarily won't. Prophecies can have multiple payoffs.
Nonetheless, I have to point out that when the "popular belief" focuses on and (probably rightly) dismisses the idea that Sansa tearing the doll's head off in the snow castle Winterfell could be Sansa "slaying the savage giant in a castle built of snow", it overlooks a more subtle reading of the doll-and-snow castle incident per which it is part of a far more significant pay-off for the Ghost of High Heart's prophecy.
"I'm a giant, I'm a giant"
I submit that if the Ghost of High Heart's vision of a maid "slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow" is indeed about the doll-and-snow-castle incident in the Eyrie, it surely isn't about Sansa figuratively "slaying" Sweetrobin's doll by ripping its head off, as most seem to assume when dismissing this as the possible 'pay-off', but rather about Sansa "slaying" Sweetrobin himself, because Sweetrobin is, in that very moment, 'coded' as a figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow".- How is Sweetrobin himself "a savage giant in a castle built of snow"?
"Tromp tromp I'm a giant, I'm a giant," [Sweetrobin] chanted. "Ho ho ho, open your gates or I'll mash them and smash them."—and actions:
Lord Robert's mouth trembled. "You killlllllllled him," he wailed. Then he began to shake. It started with no more than a little shivering, but within a few short heartbeats he had collapsed across the castle, his limbs flailing about violently.Thus the doll-and-snow-castle incident establishes Lord Robert as a figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow", not just because he declares "I'm a giant, I'm a giant," but because he 'is' a giant relative to the size of the "castle built of snow" he is physically "in" when he "collapsed across" it — i.e. he 'is' a giant in the exact same way his doll 'is' a giant, per the popular interpretation of these events that is generally at once accepted as 'correct' (in that it's intended) but dismissed as a sneaky red herring.
Thus the Ghost's prophecy may well be about Sansa killing Sweetrobin by (accidentally) poisoning him with sweetsleep ("the gentlest of poisons") to keep him calm during a feast, in keeping with the prophecy's referring to Sansa when she's "slaying a savage giant" as "that maid again", which points back to how she's first described, as a venomous "maid at a feast":
"I dreamt of a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs. And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow."Note that it is apt indeed that when Lord Robert is established as a figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow", he is having a shaking fit, given that it would be the need to quiet such a shaking fit that would lead Sansa to (inadvertently, presumably) "slay" him.
Slaying By Poison At A Feast
The foreshadowing for Sansa poisoning and thereby slaying the boy who was for a moment "a savage giant in a castle built of snow" is all there, and rather blatant:"Perhaps a pinch of sweetsleep in his milk, have you tried that? Just a pinch, to calm him and stop his wretched shaking."It's unclear whether that feast ever happens, as they don't reach the Gates of the Moon until most are asleep. But Sweetrobin definitely attends a(nother) verbatim "feast" at which, Sansa presumes, he is dosed with more sweetsleep:
"A pinch?" The apple in the maester's throat moved up and down as he swallowed. "One small pinch . . . perhaps, perhaps. Not too much, and not too often, yes, I might try . . ."
"A pinch," Lord Petyr said, "before you bring him forth to meet the lords." (AFFC Alayne I)
[T]he burden of getting Sweetrobin safely down the mountain fell on her. "Give his lordship a cup of sweetmilk," [Sansa] told the maester. "That will stop him from shaking on the journey down."
"He had a cup not three days past," Colemon objected.
"And wanted another last night, which you refused him."
"It was too soon. My lady, you do not understand. As I've told the Lord Protector, a pinch of sweetsleep will prevent the shaking, but it does not leave the flesh, and in time . . ."
"Time will not matter if his lordship has a shaking fit and falls off the mountain. If my father were here, I know he would tell you to keep Lord Robert calm at all costs."
"I try, my lady, yet his fits grow ever more violent, and his blood is so thin I dare not leech him any more. Sweetsleep . . . you are certain he was not bleeding from the nose?"
"He was sniffling," Alayne admitted, "but I saw no blood."
"I must speak to the Lord Protector. This feast … is that wise, I wonder, after the strain of the descent?"
"It will not be a large feast," she assured him. "No more than forty guests. Lord Nestor and his household, the Knight of the Gate, a few lesser lords and their retainers …"
"Lord Robert mislikes strangers, you know that, and there will be drinking, noise … music. Music frightens him."
"Music soothes him," she corrected, "the high harp especially. It's singing he can’t abide, since Marillion killed his mother." Alayne had told the lie so many times that she remembered it that way more oft than not; the other seemed no more than a bad dream that sometimes troubled her sleep. "Lord Nestor will have no singers at the feast, only flutes and fiddles for the dancing." What would she do when the music began to play? It was a vexing question, to which her heart and head gave different answers. Sansa loved to dance, but Alayne . . . "Just give him a cup of the sweetmilk before we go, and another at the feast, and there should be no trouble." (AFFC Alayne II)
As they waited for the music to resume, Alayne glanced at the dais, where Lord Robert sat staring at them. Please, she prayed, don't let him start to twitch and shake. Not here. Not now. Maester Coleman would have made certain that he drank a strong dose of sweetmilk before the feast, but even so. (TWOW Alayne I)We have not yet seen the end of that feast, but assuming Robert survives, there are sure to be more feasts soon. After all, that's just the welcome feast for the tourney. Doubtless there will be more feasting, and something tells me Sweetrobin and his sweet-tooth for sweetmilk—
"He had a cup not three days past," Colemon objected.—won't make it:
"And wanted another last night, which you refused him." (AFFC Alayne II)
No matter what you offered him, Robert always wanted more. (AFFC Alayne II)
"If Robert were to die . . ."
Petyr arched an eyebrow. "When Robert dies. Our poor brave Sweetrobin is such a sickly boy, it is only a matter of time. When Robert dies, Harry the Heir becomes Lord Harrold, Defender of the Vale and Lord of the Eyrie. (AFFC Alayne II)
What About Littlefinger?
Some may think this sounds plausible enough, but that surely the Ghost's vision has to be about Littlefinger, given that his sigil is 'really' the Titan of Braavos.I see two potential problems with this reading. They're not necessarily fatal, but they're not nothing. Certainly they're enough to consider that the doll-and-snow-castle incident may be at the core of this, after all, albeit not in the consequence-free way so easily and popularly dismissed.
Problem 1: Petyr Baelish 'Is' A Mockingbird, Not The Titan of Braavos
First, Petyr's grandfather's/father's sigil simply isn't his sigil. It's hanging up on the wall in a tower that seems more his father's than his own (consider the age of the servants) and he explicitly disavows it, calling it "my grandfather's shield" and saying the sigil is…"Rather too fierce for an amiable fellow like me. … I much prefer my mockingbird."People in Westeros might 'be' their sigils—
"You Westerosi are all the same. You sew some beast upon a scrap of silk, and suddenly you are all lions or dragons or eagles." (ADWD Tyrion I)—but Petyr Baelish's sigil simply isn't a representation of the Titan of Braavos: It's a mockingbird. Making him if anything a figurative mockingbird.
(Petyr's disavowals of his paternal lineage dovetails with Petyr arguably seeming to care more about his mother than his father. [He names "Alayne" after his mother, but says nothing much about his father save to mock him for bringing Petyr to a hermit to have him tell his future when he was a boy.] Full disclosure: I happen to think Petyr's mother's lineage is very, very, very significant, so the idea that he cares about his maternal bloodline than his father's dovetails with my preconceived notions. But nevertheless.)
Problem 2: The Titan Is Not A "Savage Giant"
Second, the Titan of Braavos isn't "a savage giant". Indeed, it's neither "savage" nor a "giant".It's not a "giant" because giants aren't titans. And not just because are titans and giants are totally different things in classical (Greek) mythology. The bigger problem is that titans and giants are cleary wildly different things diegetically (i.e. in-world).
A titan, in the world of ASOIAF, truly is a giant man:
The whole city is built in a lagoon on a hundred little islands, and they have a titan there, a stone man hundreds of feet high. (AFFC Samwell II)A giant, in the world of ASOIAF (as contrasted to the "giants" of Old Nan's stories), is something else entirely:
In Old Nan's stories, giants were outsized men who lived in colossal castles, fought with huge swords, and walked about in boots a boy could hide in. These were something else, more bearlike than human, and as wooly as the mammoths they rode. Seated, it was hard to say how big they truly were. Ten feet tall maybe, or twelve, Jon thought. Maybe fourteen, but no taller. Their sloping chests might have passed for those of men, but their arms hung down too far, and their lower torsos looked half again as wide as their upper. Their legs were shorter than their arms, but very thick, and they wore no boots at all; their feet were broad splayed things, hard and horny and black. Neckless, their huge heavy heads thrust forward from between their shoulder blades, and their faces were squashed and brutal. Rats' eyes no larger than beads were almost lost within folds of horny flesh, but they snuffled constantly, smelling as much as they saw. (ASOS Jon II)Indeed, while Old Nan's stories get this wrong, there seem to be stories told to children that understand this, judging by Shireen's reaction to Wun Wun:
Princess Shireen's eyes went wide as dinner plates. "He's a giant! A real true giant, like from the stories. But why does he talk so funny?" (ADWD Jon IX)(Perhaps Shireen heard her stories from Cressen.)
It's true that in Old Nan's stories — whose version of a giant is totally debunked by reality, remember — the Titan of Braavos is a verbatim "giant" in that same "giant man" sense:
The Titan of Braavos. Old Nan had told them stories of the Titan back in Winterfell. He was a giant as tall as a mountain, and whenever Braavos stood in danger he would wake with fire in his eyes, his rocky limbs grinding and groaning as he waded out into the sea to smash the enemies.And that much, at least, fits with the Titan of Braavos as he actually appears.
However, where the Titan of Braavos of Old Nan's fiction is clearly savage, per se, like the "savage giant" in the Ghost of High Heart's vision—
"The Braavosi feed him on the juicy pink flesh of little highborn girls," Nan would end, and Sansa would give a stupid squeak. (AFFC Arya I)—the idea that the Titan of Braavos is truly a "savage giant" is once again not born out by the reality of an inert statue (even if you accept that the Titan 'is' a "giant" of sorts, even if only in a figurative sense). Maester Luwin was right, at least as regards giants and titans:
But Maester Luwin said the Titan was only a statue, and Old Nan's stories were only stories.Indeed, given the banking industry, commercial orientation, and anti-slavery policies of Braavos, the Titan of Braavos is more like a sign of civilization than savagery by Planetosi standards: a kind of Colossus of Rhodes. Even its green hair, which might say "Incredible Hulk" to us, hardly has "savage" connotations on Planetos, where the brother of the Archon of Tyrosh has a green beard.
In sum: People might 'be' their sigils, but (a) Littlefinger 'isn't' the Titan of Braavos, and (b) even if he were, the Titan of Braavos isn't properly "a savage giant" unless you squint.
That said, make no mistake: you always have to squint a bit when it comes to prophecy, and I am thus in no way saying that Littlefinger is deductively ruled out as the referent of the Ghost's prophecy. I'm just saying there are good reasons to think he might not be.
More On Sweetrobin The "Savage Giant", Featuring A Reference To David Lynch's Blue Velvet That Supports This Reading
I want to close by drawing attention to a few more things that put the whiff of "savage giant" on and around Sweetrobin.First, there's the simple fact that Robert lives in a castle in the clouds—
Seven towers, Ned had told her, like white daggers thrust into the belly of the sky, so high you can stand on the parapets and look down on the clouds. (AGOT Cateyn VI)—reached by a perilous climb, which clearly recalls the castle in the clouds in which the giant abides in Jack and the Beanstalk.
Indeed, that climb is also giant-coded, in its way:
"Sweetrobin," she said gently, "the descent will be ever so jolly, you'll see."Jolly, a la the [Jolly Green Giant].
Second, as Lord of the Vale and the Eyrie, Robert has dominion over the Giant's Lance (the mountain the Eyrie is built on), which can be seen as 'coding' him as "the Giant" in question.
Third, recall that young Lord Robert throws his chamber pot at Maester Colemon and shatters it (which is hardly a civilized thing to do, and arguably savage). In so doing, he creates a scene that recalls another scene caused by a (different) figurative 'savage giant': Shagga is a verbatim "savage" and a figurative 'giant' — he is "massive" per AGOT Tyrion VI, and his "hand was so big he could have crushed the maester's skull like an eggshell had he squeezed" per ACOK Tyrion VI — and he smashes in Maester Pycelle's door and causes him to piss everywhere:
Roaring, Shagga leapt forward. Pycelle shrieked and wet the bed, urine spraying in all directions as he tried to scramble back out of reach. (ibid.)Setting aside the 'rhyme' Sweetrobin throwing his chamber pot sets up between himself and Shagga the savage giant (thereby suggesting that Sweetrobin, too, is a figurative savage giant), consider the language from the aftermath of Sweetrobin chucking his chamber pot:
"Might I let some sun in?"The noted verbiage 'just so happens' to be tightly reminiscent of what we're told about true giants, their squinty rat eyes, and their "smelling as much as they saw":
"No. The light hurts my eyes. Come to bed, Alayne."
She went to the windows anyway, edging around the broken chamber pot. She could smell it better than she saw it. (AFFC Alayne II)
Rats' eyes no larger than beads were almost lost within folds of horny flesh, but they snuffled constantly, smelling as much as they saw. (ASOS Jon II)Note the sympatico double entendre wordplay as well: Robert saying "Come to bed, Alayne" vs. the "horny flesh" of the giants.
And note that true giants "snuffled constantly". Who does that sound like if not Sweetrobin?
Alayne slipped into the darkened bedchamber. "It's only me, Sweetrobin."
Someone sniffled in the darkness. "Are you alone?" (Alayne II)
She went to the windows anyway, edging around the broken chamber pot. She could smell it better than she saw it. "I shan't open them very wide. Only enough to see my Sweetrobin's face."
He sniffled. "If you must."
The curtains were of plush blue velvet¹.
"I don't love her. She's just the mule girl." Robert sniffled. (AFFC Alayne II)
"He was sniffling," Alayne admitted, "but I saw no blood." (AFFC Alayne II)
For what it's worth, I believe GRRM is clearly a giant (har!) Lynch fan and that ASOIAF is stuffed full of Lynch references. A book about Lynch [is visible] on a shelf in the background of a GRRM video interview. It's no surprise: Lynch directed Dune, and Twin Peaks revolutionized television when GRRM was writing TV. I actually have a huge essay written up about the what I see as the massive influence of Twin Peaks on ASOIAF. Apropos of the topic at hand, I'll just note that the Eyrie is full of "winches", and that GRRM gives us a Lord "Wynch" — it rhymes with Lynch — who is the first supporter of the BOB-like villain Euron and whose first name just so happens to be Waldon, a la Waldo, the bird that plays a key role in Twin Peaks.
Anyway, the point here, again, is simply that blue velvet curtains remind us of some of the most famous "snuffling" in the history of cinema, and thus further hint that Sweetrobin is, indeed, a figurative 'giant'.
End Footnote
Alayne slipped into the darkened bedchamber. "It's only me, Sweetrobin."—sets him up as akin to Old Nan's version of giants as they appear in a story—
Someone sniffled in the darkness. "Are you alone?" (Alayne II)
[Arya] remembered a story Old Nan had told once, about a man imprisoned in a dark castle by evil giants. He was very brave and smart and he tricked the giants and escaped . . . but no sooner was he outside the castle than the Others took him, and drank his hot red blood. (ACOK Arya III)—that sounds like one of the stories Sweetrobin asks Alayne to read to him moments after she enters his "darkened bedchamber":
"I don't want food," the little lord said, in a reedy, petulant voice. "I'm going to stay in bed today. You could read to me if you want."Finally, as many have noticed, Robert's preference for the darkness, his pale skin, his red eyes, and his belief that he still hears Marillion singing—
"It is too dark in here for reading." The heavy curtains drawn across the windows made the bedchamber black as night. (AFFC Alayne II)
"I want to go back to bed. I never slept last night. I heard singing. Maester Colemon gave me dreamwine but I could still hear it."—suggest he is is "gifted" in a weirwood-net-adjacent way similar to Jojen, Bran, and/or Bloodraven. Thus to a fellow clairvoyant like the Ghost of High Heart, he may truly seem like a 'giant' indeed.
Alayne put down her spoon. "If there had been singing, I should have heard it too. You had a bad dream, that's all."
"No, it wasn't a dream." Tears filled his eyes. "Marillion was singing again. Your father says he's dead, but he isn't." (AFFC Alayne I)
Summary/TL;DR
So that's it. If the Ghost of High Heart's vision of "that maid again" — "a maid at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs" — "slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow" is related to the doll-and-snow-castle incident, it's surely not merely about Sansa figuratively slaying Sweetrobin's doll, but about Sansa slaying Sweetrobin himself, who is 'coded' as a figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow" during that incident—"Tromp tromp I'm a giant, I'm a giant," he chanted. "Ho ho ho, open your gates or I'll mash them and smash them."—and who is primed to die of an overdose of sweetsleep, a "poison" which would be consistent with the venomous imagery with which the Ghost's prophecy depicts Sansa.
It started with no more than a little shivering, but within a few short heartbeats [Sweetrobin] had collapsed across the castle [built of snow], his limbs flailing about violently.
EDIT: If this comes to pass, I do wonder whether the "purple serpents" motif may get another pay-off in the form of a purple ribbon in Sansa's hair, like the (notably velvet!) ribbon she tries on as Alayne here:
In the end she chose a simple velvet ribbon in autumn gold. When Gretchel fetched her Lysa's silvered looking glass, the color seemed just perfect with Alayne's mass of dark brown hair. (AFFC Alayne I)It's worth noting that in the opening line of ACOK Ayra IV, we see a specifically colored "ribbon" deployed as a metaphor for a thing associated with snakes:
The river was a blue-green ribbon shining in the morning sun. Reeds grew thick in the shallows along the banks, and Arya saw a water snake skimming across the surface, ripples spreading out behind it as it went. Overhead a hawk flew in lazy circles.If a river with a snake in it can figurative 'be' a specifically colored ribbon, couldn't the "purple serpents" in the maid's hair in the prophecy be a figurative stand-in for a literal ribbon Sansa wears to a feast at which Robert dies from sweetsleep she gives him (in addition to foreshadowing the purple wedding)? Indeed, a similar conflation is at the heart of one of the most famous murder mysteries in literature: The Speckled Band.
(Notice that the circling hawk recalls the falcons of the Vale, while "Reeds" recalls Howland Reed, who I believe attends the "feast" in TWOW Alayne I in the guise of Ser Shadrich of the Shady Glen.)
END EDIT
Could the prophecy (also?) be about Littlefinger? About an Umber? Sure. But to dismiss the castle in the snow incident as if Robert's doll is the only figurative "savage giant in a castle built of snow" there is to dismiss a straw man. (See what I did there?)
2023.05.26 17:00 _call-me-al_ [Fri, May 26 2023] TL;DR — This is what you missed in the last 24 hours on Reddit
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Electricity prices in Finland flipped negative — a huge oversupply of clean, hydroelectric power meant suppliers were almost giving it awayComments Link
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The decimation of the bison had major adverse health and economic impacts for the Native Americans who relied on them. The impacts were immediate and persistent. Once among the tallest people in the world, bison-reliant people born after the slaughter lost their entire height advantage.Comments Link
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Neuroscientists have uncovered how vitamin D deficiency affects developing neurons in schizophrenia
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Pad, tracking and onboard camera views of South Korea's Nuri rocket launching its first operational mission todayComments Link
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Wooden satellites? Japan proves magnolia has right stuff for space
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The FDA will apparently let Elon Musk put a computer in a human’s brainComments Link
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TIL the Ancient Olympics were held at least 293 times (1,169 years) consecutively — from 776 BC to 393 AD — nearly 10 times longer than the Modern Olympics have been running (since 1896).
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Barack Obama Says Striking Writers Deserve “Fair Share” From Studios & Streamers; Ex-POTUS Promoting Netflix ‘Working’ Docuseries
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Sorry, not sorry.
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Pallas's cat are really saints of cat world.
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2023.05.26 11:29 The-Coolest-Beanz Our king is a good boi
 | submitted by The-Coolest-Beanz to 70percentbananaLore [link] [comments] |
2023.05.23 17:00 _call-me-al_ [Tue, May 23 2023] TL;DR — This is what you missed in the last 24 hours on Reddit
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worldnews
Anti-Putin militia claims to have overrun Russian border villageComments Link
Scientists say they found a chapter of the Bible hidden under other text for more than a thousand years
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news
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science
In the US, Republicans seek to impose work requirements for food stamp (SNAP) recipients, arguing that food stamps disincentivize work. However, empirical analysis shows that such requirements massively reduce participation in the food stamps program without any significant impact on employment.Comments Link
The sex of chicken embryos can be determined based on volatile organic compounds without opening the shell. At a commercial scale, this could avoid wasteful culling of millions of male chicks after hatching.
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Global loss of wildlife is 'significantly more alarming' than previously thought, according to a new study
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space
Gravitational wave detector LIGO is back online after 3 years of upgrades – how the world's most sensitive yardstick reveals secrets of the universeComments Link
SpaceX launches Saudi Arabia’s first female astronaut into space
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Futurology
Remote Work Will Destroy 44% of NYC Office Values: StudyComments Link
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"Witch Spells", Erinthul, self-portrait photography, 2023.Comments Link
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Did some paddleboarding here yesterday until the sun went down. Snowdonia National Park, Wales, UK.Comments Link
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gifs
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a nuanced approach
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interestingasfuck
These kid sized hand prints were found on these old victorian roof tiles from before child labour practices was abolished.Comments Link
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We found this baby under a bush at a gas station yesterday. She's a STEM genius and a biscuit master. (OC)
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2023.05.23 05:06 KaltashWawa "Worth waking up in time for 8AM (Pacific) Chinook Coffee this Saturday, May 27th: we're going to decipher 2 letters from 1894, & read the juicy local news in Jargon. Just MESSAGE ME for the Zoom link -- you are invited!" - message me, I'll put you in touch
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2023.05.23 05:00 According_You_7354 .
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2023.05.22 22:52 hollytamale317 Tinder message prompts are wild tbh
 | This guy even mentioned he's 3 years sober in his profile and tinder is like.. Are you addicted to coffee?? 😅😬 submitted by hollytamale317 to Tinder [link] [comments] |