So, I'm feeling an itch to try and do another crossover, this time with Frostpunk of all things. Thus, I am gonna try it. However I must state some thing. In this universe, as the date Frostpunk is set in. Or at least, The scenario "A new home" is happening in. Is somewhere during 1886 to 87. And the invention of the Nukes are during 1933. So for all intents and purposes, The Federation never stumbled upon humanity. At least, in a way they stumble upon them so much earlier than they should. This way, the feds never had a reason to exterminate the species in the first place. They didn't know they existed.
In terms of things regarding the Laws of New London. In this story, both Order and Faith are mixed together. The laws leading to Faith Keepers and The Temple are signed as well as the laws leading to Patrols and Foremen. As for Adaptation laws. Child Labor, Extended Shift, Soup, Extra rations for the Ill, Prosthetics, Ceremonial funerals, Public house. Nearly everything is researched.

For the purpose of the City, they haven't crossed the Line yet. But as any who played the game knows. The other side of the Line is so tempting. So very, very tempting.

Memory Transcript: Felix Hawthorn - Captain, leader of the last City
Date: [standardized human time]: Day 47
I can no longer see the lights out there. The Little fires and candles that lit up the city. The houses are all but covered in ice. The automatons are barely managing to work through the frigid winds. I turn to check the thermometer, even in my office. Built at the base of the Generator. The winds could reach me through the cracks in the walls. I blinked the ice out of my eyes as my vision locks with the thermometer. "Negative... 150 degrees..." I croaked out. Speaking aloud as I slowly turned to face the cloak on the wall.
To my bewilderment, and amazement. It was still turning away. Even when frost threatened to break it. Just a few more hours... just a few more...
I weakly lifted my arm, If I survive. It'll need amputating. I couldn't even feel the burning cold that was coating its' senses yesterday.
No guardsmen, Faith Keeper, or anyone has came to alert me to anything new... The infirmaries were the only buildings with enough warmth for people to at the very least. Feel chilly... Heh... "Should probably go to one..." I shiver at I felt Jack Frost threaten to tear my insides apart, speaking my thoughts won't help much... thinking things out will keep me focused...
I can't go to a Infirmary. We have no space for a new one to be built, nor do we have enough space for everyone... Thus, here I sit. In my chair. Watching the frost grow on my windows... I pray to myself, that whoever plunged us in this Frozen Hell. Would have mercy on the children and the elderly
As the glass in my window gets overgrown in ice and snow, I slowly close my eyes. And lay back. If this is the end of the human race as we know it... I rather sleep through it than see the results. I already wrote down notes so whomever finds me, will know what to do.
Sleep takes me, the frost won't win that battle at least. In the realms of Dreams. I'm sitting under the warm sun, my daughter and son playing in the grass not too far from me. My wife and I play a game, pointing out the different shapes the clouds made in the sky...
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There is a pirate ship... a bird... that's a whale... "No, silly. That's a dolphin!" she'd laugh, I would respond with a chortle and a "Well, when you're right, you're right."
Such warmth... It's not even that warm in actuality, it is as average a day as any other... but I feel so... warm.
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Memory Transcript: Jannim, Junior Venlil explorer
Date: [standardized human time]: Day 47
I shivered as the ship struggles to handle the temperature of this planet. Of course, sometimes a explorer will never come back. Be it through running into Predators, a error in the systems. Or just bad luck. But I never thought it would happen to me.
I boot up the terminal, thankful it still worked at least. "Explorer Log 21. Jannim. Horkle, our exterminator. Succumbed to the wounds he sustained during the crash. Day 7 after the crash, our pilot, Thalk and captain Fonn still haven't came in from checking on the damages the ship sustained when the storm hit us. Should've left when we noticed it but no... we just had to be heroes to a race we don't even know how to find." I panted as I glanced to the ships' walls. Thanks to the ship I'm alive, but how long will the power last? If Fonn and Thalk were still alive out there... I took a deep breath and continue the log "The captain and pilot left the ship sometime yesterday, to check on external damages and on the engines.-" A growl from the predator-like winds stole my attention away.
You survived a Arxur raid, and this is how you go out? Fearing for your life because of alien nature?
Yes, I was...
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I take a bite out of my emergency rations, the blandness of it was much better than the chill in the air. "-I-if anyone finds this, leave this planet. Don't go looking for the natives, LEAVE. Before the scans broke down, it appears the planet is gonna undergo various storms similar to the one I am in. Leave at once and mark the planet down as a Deathtrap." I managed to keep myself from stuttering as I continued the message "The planet itself seems predatory, if this is anything to go by. I believe the natives of this planet will have succumbed to the frost during this storm. If not this one, then the next one. Or the one after that. However long it takes. Nothing should be able to survive such harsh winds in this temperature."
I stop myself, taking a few deep breaths, then another bite of my ration. "... If you're stationed near Venlil Prime. Please, find Pallhen. He's my father... tell him... I love him, and that I'm with Mother now." I choke past a tear as I looked to the systems. "Looks like the lights are about to fail, if the controls are anything to go by. Even if the pilot and captain return. We won't be able to even launch... Final log of Junior Explorer Jannim. Protector watch over us." I sighed before ending the Log. Left in silence, I listened to the predatory-storm beat on the ship. And watch Horkles' corpse lay on the medical table of our ship.
Silently counting the emergency rations, and what regular rations we have left. I would last around a week. Perhaps longer if I space my meals out... I think I'll just keep my meals as is, having to do with spacing meals out will just raise my hopes... Can't really have that if this storm lasts much longer.
I resumed eating my ration as I try to guess what the natives were like before this planet became a great, big, Temperature Predator. ------------------------------------------------ Memory Transcript: Felix Hawthorn - Captain, leader of the last City
Date: [standardized human time]: Day 48
"Captain!" A harsh voice awakens me, I use my one good arm to push the Faith Keepers' hands off me. He was apparently shaking me awake. "I'm up, I'm up!" I cried out as I sighed. I could see the relief worm its way onto Brother Collins' face. "Captain. We made it" he exclaimed as a mix of relief and pure joy radiates from his face to his voice. I grumbled in tired bewilderment as I turned to look at the thermometer.
"The storm has passed!" Collin cheered as I mentally froze at the sight on the Thermometer on the wall. -20 degrees Celsius... "Brother Collin! don't just stand there!" I cried out as I stand up with as much my renewed vigor would allow me. Causing the Faith-keeper to freeze in place. "Get out there, and tell the Guards to check the people, check them yourself it you have to. I need information on how our population handled this storm before we move forward!" I shout my orders at Collin, before grabbing my scarf off my neck. The ice still hasn't thawed off my scarf but... I fashion it into a sling for my arm "I'll be here after I have my arm amputated. Can't die now after all we went through." I allow a slight snicker escape my lips as I walk out the doors of my office and marched to the nearest infirmary. I could hear Collin run out of the office shortly after me and went off to find the guards, check families. Maybe both.
To my relief, the infirmary I first arrived at had a place open for me. Due to overcrowding, I was given a seat on the floor. And now... here I wait, listening to the doctors and nurses comfort and calm the ill and wounded. A few shot nasty glares at me... I'd like to see them try and prepare the city for a storm like that. I think I did pretty well... ---A few hours later.--- "So... we're at 307 able bodies, a hundred dead. Five missing. And finally, 246 amputees" I stated to the Head guardsmen, Matthew Williams. And there beside him stood high Priest Jenkins Anderson. "Moral will go up of course, everyone who survived the storm will feel nothing but joy for a while. But now we have to deal with reverting the city to what it was before the storm." I point to Matthew with my newly attached arm, the claw couldn't point fingers but it works when I need to grab something. I shift to point at Anderson as this was for them both to do. "Spread word that we are sending hunters back out and are putting the hothouses back up. I want scouts looking through the wilderness for anything they can find out there. We're not out of the storm yet" I declared as I brought my prosthetic back down. "Take stock of what rations we currently have, and spread them out as much as you can to the population. Send word to the Factory to start churning out Prosthetics... And when you have the scouts ready, inform me." Mister Williams saluted me before leaving the office, while Anderson stays there, watching me... "Did... the two come back?" I asked him, the silent shake of his head told me everything... "We don't have the bodies... find out the name of that father and his daughter, then make a pair of graves for them." Anderson nods and with a respectful bow, stepped out the door.
Finally left to my thoughts, I sat back in my chair. Staring at my desk. So many lives lost... I did what I could, but should I have done better? I could have done better... they are all dead because of me, how many of them were parents?... how many children?
I sat in silence as I start a prayer to the dead. Praying they forgive me for failing them. Praying again that they pass on to a place better than where we are. And finally, Praying that someone up there actually is listening...
Once my prayers were done, I looked to the reports brother Collin had placed on my desk during my time in the Infirmary. Apparently something had crashed during the start of the great storm. There was something flying out there... Going by the calculations the engineers did under Collins' request. The crash is relatively close by... a three day travel on foot, two via riding one of the automatons through the days and night.
I stand from my desk and walk out the door, Paying some mind to a picture of my wife on my way out. I had to be one of the scouts. For this at the very least... if there is some hope there is a survivor out there, if the father and his daughter is there... I have to be certain... we have enough automatons and able bodies to use the coal mines and coal thumpers. And after the storm, I do not believe we required the other laws. I'll leave the high priest in charge until my return. Matthews is a good man but... Anderson is the more compassionate of the two. He'll keep up the moral while I'm away.
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This wasn't a lot, but hey. Hope you liked the introduction. If anyone has any questions regarding New London in the story, please feel free to ask. If anyone has anything to just say, feel free to share your thoughts.

According to all known laws of clam aviation, there is no way a clam should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its little clam body off the ground. The clam, of course, flies anyway because clams don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp! Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Clam-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished clams, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of... 9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Wonder what it'll be like? A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a clam, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted, and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of clam existence. These clams are stress-testing a new helmet technology. What do you think he makes? Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. What does that do? Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most clam jobs are small ones. But clams know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that clams, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're clams. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. Hey, Jocks! Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Clams make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you clam enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt clam, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A clam died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, clam inspector, number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, clams cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears, and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to clams! All right, launch positions!

I've tried selling this thing for weeks now on Facebook Marketplace, eventually at just 1 cent because I just genuinely want it out of my hair. And I cannot find any takers. I want someone to just take it instead of throwing it out because honestly, I'm deeply nervous about what would happen if I did. But if this advertisement proves to be just as fruitless, I will do it despite my nervousness because my mind just can't take this anymore otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to have a psychological break with reality and need to be sedated.
I grew up originally in Northern California near Mt. Shasta, and four years ago I moved to the Big Island of Hawaii after I got a new job working for the university located in Hilo as an adjunct. The search for a place to rent where I could garden in the backyard took a while, but the wait was worth it. Gardening is like comfort food for my soul, and always has been ever since I was a little girl. My mom brought me up doing it, and I took to it immediately when I was just 3 or 4 she always liked to remind me.
I suppose the reason I wanted to leave California was the fact that she wasn't there anymore, that the last piece or vestige of my family was gone and I was all that was left of the life we used to have out there. I remember the day everything was packed up for the movers and ready to go, I walked outside to wait for a friend to pick me up to take me to the airport. As I sat there on my porch, I saw an elderly man walking in front of my front yard. It was an old friend of my mom's from the neighborhood. He had been very kind to me at her funeral as he had just lost his wife himself. We both waved at each other and I got up to chat with him one last time.
As it turned out, he was there to give me a going away present. It was a batch of strange seeds in a small sack. Some were colored burgundy, others indigo, and still others ivory with fascinating patterns on them. In total, there were 19 by my count. He said that before his wife passed away, she had originally intended to give them to my mom. Apparently, during one of their hiking trips around the mountain, the two of them kept stopping to see if someone was following them. Every time they would, some tree would rustle or a bush would make a quick, sharp noise indicating some sort of disturbance. Towards the end of their hike, they stopped one final time only for them to turn around and notice that someone had left this dingy little sack of seeds on a rotted out tree stump they had just passed. In other words, there was no question at that point that they had been followed.
For what reason? He couldn't say, though obviously the implication was that whoever it was wanted them to have these seeds. His wife died soon after that, before she could pass them along to my mother. He said he was hesitant to part with them after she died, but felt extremely guilty having waited too long to give them to my mom. Now that I was heading to Hawaii, he thought he ought to just give them to me instead of continuing to keep them. Other than that, he told me to be very careful with them, to specifically pour them out into the ground from the sack instead of touching them myself. And I wondered why. Like it's such an oddly specific thing to bring up about them.
Regardless.
I took them gratefully and thanked him for the gift and said that my mother would have loved them. Now, I'm not so sure she would have.
It was only a week or so after I had finally unpacked everything in my new place that I decided to garden again. And the first thing I planted, of course, were the seeds once meant for my mom. In memory of her. It was only one I put in the ground because honestly I wasn’t exactly sure how big this thing was going to grow to be. I wasn’t even sure what exactly this thing was even going to grow to be either. Turns out, it’s a vegetable… of some kind. I think. It’s almost like a yam? Like with the same texture and everything but with bright orange skin… and fur in strange places? Also, another thing, it’s like a yam but at the time of writing this it has most definitely grown beyond the size of a typical yam. Basically it’ll increase in size every week or so by a half a foot by my measure. Also, every time it grows by that much, another bulbous root pops out and burrows itself beneath.
And oh yeah there are little blue flowers (or what I guess you could call flowers) growing out of little nooks and crannies and just random spots all over. I’m not sure what to say. I have yet to identify it. If one of you reading this can, then good for you, would you like to take it off my hands in that case? Please? Okay well, I guess I better finally explain why I want this damn thing out of here. I’ve already ostracized myself at work trying to get people to take it, as well as trying to explain what makes me hate the thing, so what harm will come from making a bunch of internet strangers think I’m creepy or crazy?
The black and white of it is that every time this thing grows a half a foot, every time another root plants itself in the ground, every time another one of those little blue flower buds appears on it, something changes. About the world we live in. About our history. About how we live day to day. And no one seems to notice any of the changes except for me. Today in fact, I almost got into a fatal car crash after I woke up and took note of a new flower bud growing on the side of it facing my house. If you put a Bible in front of me and made me swear to God that I was going to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth I would swear on that, my life, and my late mother’s grave that I grew up knowing that Americans in all 50 states drive on the left side of the road.
I know you’re probably laughing at me. Because that’s what the person I almost ran into did when I told them. They wanted to know if I was British or something, and I said no I was born and raised in Northern California all my life. The closest I’ve ever even been to a foreign country is San Diego. But when I pulled over after that scare and looked it up on my phone, there it was. Americans drive on the right side of the road and pretty much always have. It’s just so… jarring. I have vivid memories of me death gripping the wheel to my mom’s Wrangler for the first time in my life, with her in the passenger seat teaching me the rules of the road for the first time. And I remember very clearly her telling me that no matter where I go in the United States or Canada, if I ever did that is, I would be on the left side of the road the entire time.
And I remember everyone else driving on the left side too. I remember them doing it yesterday. And now, everyone’s acting like it’s actually been this other way the entire time and that I’m somehow just noticing it. But I’m not “just noticing” it. It changed without warning me, to my abject frustration. This is what my life has been like since I planted it. I remember when it first sprouted. When I first started noticing the changes. The very first one I encountered were the changes made to the American flag. Again, swearing to God, on my own life, and on my late mother’s grave, I can attest that the American flag has always had 13, red and white, diagonal stripes. Not horizontal. Diagonal.
Again, I remember vividly sitting Indian style around our 1st grade teacher as she taught us some of the most basic history of the Revolutionary War. Particularly when it came to the Betsy Ross story. I remember being told that, when Betsy Ross first showed George Washington her initial design for the flag that it did indeed have horizontal stripes just like the one I suppose all of you are familiar with. But at the last second, he had her change them to be diagonal because he wanted to convey that the United States did not intend to be an empire in which some states would be perceived to be dominating the others by being “on top”. Making the stripes diagonal, to him, avoided this undesired symbolism.
I remember it all so clearly, even the little kitschy cartoon drawings in our school books of him with Betsy Ross as she showed him the final design. I remember reading about it in middle and high school. Hell, I even remember writing a 13 page essay for US History I in college that dealt with the subject. The paper of course, along with any historical record or proof of this detailed memory (digital or otherwise), is nowhere I can find it. It’s as if God or something turned the whole world into one big Wikipedia article and began editing reality at random with no one reverting the changes.
If you don’t think I’m crazy yet, then maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. When I noticed the plant had grown its eighth root, I learned for the first time in my life that Richard Nixon resigned over the Watergate scandal and not for having been outed as having had a nearly decade long affair with both Marilyn Monroe and Jackie Kennedy at the same time as I thought I had been taught. I hadn’t even heard the term Watergate before that. In fact, I learned at the same exact time that apparently for decades since, the affix -gate had been attached to various other scandals and controversies as though it were a naming convention. Until that eighth root planted itself firmly in the ground, I had never once seen or heard of something like that before.
The day I noticed the very first flower to bloom on it, was the same day I found out there’s this little place near Long Island and New Jersey you may have heard of called New York City. You see, to me, that place has always been (and always will be in my mind as I cling onto what I know to be the truth) New Ithaca. Frank Sinatra’s famous song that is played every year on New Year’s Eve, has always been about the great city of New Ithaca, the Big Apple. The changes are just so weird and particular too. The whole general history of that city and state has remains the same though (at least to me), being that it was founded by the Dutch but was taken by the British and renamed before becoming a part of the United States. Only, instead the place was previously named New North Brabant whereas I suppose you have always known that New York used to be New Amsterdam.
There’s even a song about that bit of trivia, I learned. Catchy, and also cringe inducing for someone like me going through what I’m going through.
Actually the overwhelming bulk of changes have had to do with place names. Again growing up, I had it beaten into my brain that in 1492 Columbus sailed the Pacific blue. You heard that right. The vast puddle you probably call the Atlantic Ocean has always been the Pacific to me. And vice versa. Nebraska was a name I had not ever heard of before I measured another half foot in that damn thing’s already enormous length. To me that place was called the State of Fillmore. If before I measured it to be at 3 feet, you had asked me to point out Paris on a map, I would have stared at you blankly until I realized you probably meant to say Degaulleville which was built just northeast of the ruins of the ill-fated City of Lights after it was used as a testing ground for Germany’s most devastating weapon of WWII - the nuclear bomb.
Apparently in this new world the plant has created for me, it is our country that has the dubious honor of being the first military in the world to use nuclear weapons in an actual war.
And the list of changes I have just goes on and on like that. I’m not going to waste time spelling them all out for you. I’m sure that should be enough for you to at least hear me out or dismiss me as having had a break with reality. All I want now is this thing in my backyard, and these seeds to boot, out of here. Like I said in the beginning, I’d throw it away, but now that I suspect there’s some sort of link between it and all these changes being made, I worry what it could do to me if I yanked it out of the ground and chucked it into a dumpster. Degaulleville, Fillmore, etc. were erased by this thing. I could be too, if I made it mad enough.
There’s another part of me, a selfish part, that hopes if someone else takes it they can be the ones to have all these changes happen to instead. They can be the ones to watch desperately as what you once knew to be true, to be there, to be real, is all ground up and thrown away like it was nothing to bend your reality and leave you as the only one aware of it. I want that to happen to someone else instead of me. I want to be the one who’s oblivious to the changes made in the fabric and window dressings of reality. I want to be the one who reads the complaints and desperate cries of someone like me, and calls them crazy. I want want want that.
There’s another, tinier part of me, that naively hopes once I can leave this thing with someone else, it will change reality again but this time for the better. For the better, for me. Maybe once it starts affecting someone else adversely, it can change reality one more time to make my mom come back. To come back in a way that would make me forget she was ever gone. And then maybe I can go home, go back to the life I was used to living. But I know at the same time, there’s absolutely no reason it would do something nice like that for me.
Hell, if anything, it could decide to make things in reality, history, etc. worse for everyone including me. Like let me think… Okay for example, remember back in 1999 when everyone was afraid of the Y2K bug, but then it turned out to not be such a catastrophic ordeal as people were predicting? That damn plant could change things to make it so that Y2K’s catastrophic potential was fulfilled. Or wait, here’s a more recent example - remember like three or so years ago when there was that weird disease in China all the schools and governments got freaked out about for two weeks, warning about having to do lockdowns and stuff like that only for the Chinese government to successfully contain it before it could leave its shores?
I’d imagine the plant could change that history as well. And it’s not like I want any of that to happen, it’s just that I have little to no control over whether or not it will. And I just want to be free from being the only one to know it’s all happening. To notice it everyday. To have your heart and brain scratched at and tortured by it when you do.
So please, someone, anyone out there who can and is willing to take this thing off my hands knowing full well what it is - just DM me. I’ll give it to you at no charge or expense to you. I’ll even dig it out of the ground and drive to where you are (if you’re on the island that is) so you don’t have to get up and go anywhere. If you’re located somewhere else I’ll happily volunteer to pay all the associated shipping costs at my own expense as well in order to get it to you.
You’ll be my knight in shining armor if you do.
UPDATE: I am no longer in need of anyone to take this thing and these seeds off my hands. Thank you to the person that DMed me after I posted this. I got your email confirming that it safely arrived at your address as well. Also, glad to hear it’s grown another root. By glad, I mean that I am glad to know that it has grown yet again but this time I haven’t noticed anything changing. You have no idea what you’ve done to help salvage my sanity. Bless you.

I've tried selling this thing for weeks now on Facebook Marketplace, eventually at just 1 cent because I just genuinely want it out of my hair. And I cannot find any takers. I want someone to just take it instead of throwing it out because honestly, I'm deeply nervous about what would happen if I did. But if this advertisement proves to be just as fruitless, I will do it despite my nervousness because my mind just can't take this anymore otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to have a psychological break with reality and need to be sedated.
I grew up originally in Northern California near Mt. Shasta, and four years ago I moved to the Big Island of Hawaii after I got a new job working for the university located in Hilo as an adjunct. The search for a place to rent where I could garden in the backyard took a while, but the wait was worth it. Gardening is like comfort food for my soul, and always has been ever since I was a little girl. My mom brought me up doing it, and I took to it immediately when I was just 3 or 4 she always liked to remind me.
I suppose the reason I wanted to leave California was the fact that she wasn't there anymore, that the last piece or vestige of my family was gone and I was all that was left of the life we used to have out there. I remember the day everything was packed up for the movers and ready to go, I walked outside to wait for a friend to pick me up to take me to the airport. As I sat there on my porch, I saw an elderly man walking in front of my front yard. It was an old friend of my mom's from the neighborhood. He had been very kind to me at her funeral as he had just lost his wife himself. We both waved at each other and I got up to chat with him one last time.
As it turned out, he was there to give me a going away present. It was a batch of strange seeds in a small sack. Some were colored burgundy, others indigo, and still others ivory with fascinating patterns on them. In total, there were 19 by my count. He said that before his wife passed away, she had originally intended to give them to my mom. Apparently, during one of their hiking trips around the mountain, the two of them kept stopping to see if someone was following them. Every time they would, some tree would rustle or a bush would make a quick, sharp noise indicating some sort of disturbance. Towards the end of their hike, they stopped one final time only for them to turn around and notice that someone had left this dingy little sack of seeds on a rotted out tree stump they had just passed. In other words, there was no question at that point that they had been followed.
For what reason? He couldn't say, though obviously the implication was that whoever it was wanted them to have these seeds. His wife died soon after that, before she could pass them along to my mother. He said he was hesitant to part with them after she died, but felt extremely guilty having waited too long to give them to my mom. Now that I was heading to Hawaii, he thought he ought to just give them to me instead of continuing to keep them. Other than that, he told me to be very careful with them, to specifically pour them out into the ground from the sack instead of touching them myself. And I wondered why. Like it's such an oddly specific thing to bring up about them.
Regardless.
I took them gratefully and thanked him for the gift and said that my mother would have loved them. Now, I'm not so sure she would have.
It was only a week or so after I had finally unpacked everything in my new place that I decided to garden again. And the first thing I planted, of course, were the seeds once meant for my mom. In memory of her. It was only one I put in the ground because honestly I wasn’t exactly sure how big this thing was going to grow to be. I wasn’t even sure what exactly this thing was even going to grow to be either. Turns out, it’s a vegetable… of some kind. I think. It’s almost like a yam? Like with the same texture and everything but with bright orange skin… and fur in strange places? Also, another thing, it’s like a yam but at the time of writing this it has most definitely grown beyond the size of a typical yam. Basically it’ll increase in size every week or so by a half a foot by my measure. Also, every time it grows by that much, another bulbous root pops out and burrows itself beneath.
And oh yeah there are little blue flowers (or what I guess you could call flowers) growing out of little nooks and crannies and just random spots all over. I’m not sure what to say. I have yet to identify it. If one of you reading this can, then good for you, would you like to take it off my hands in that case? Please? Okay well, I guess I better finally explain why I want this damn thing out of here. I’ve already ostracized myself at work trying to get people to take it, as well as trying to explain what makes me hate the thing, so what harm will come from making a bunch of internet strangers think I’m creepy or crazy?
The black and white of it is that every time this thing grows a half a foot, every time another root plants itself in the ground, every time another one of those little blue flower buds appears on it, something changes. About the world we live in. About our history. About how we live day to day. And no one seems to notice any of the changes except for me. Today in fact, I almost got into a fatal car crash after I woke up and took note of a new flower bud growing on the side of it facing my house. If you put a Bible in front of me and made me swear to God that I was going to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth I would swear on that, my life, and my late mother’s grave that I grew up knowing that Americans in all 50 states drive on the left side of the road.
I know you’re probably laughing at me. Because that’s what the person I almost ran into did when I told them. They wanted to know if I was British or something, and I said no I was born and raised in Northern California all my life. The closest I’ve ever even been to a foreign country is San Diego. But when I pulled over after that scare and looked it up on my phone, there it was. Americans drive on the right side of the road and pretty much always have. It’s just so… jarring. I have vivid memories of me death gripping the wheel to my mom’s Wrangler for the first time in my life, with her in the passenger seat teaching me the rules of the road for the first time. And I remember very clearly her telling me that no matter where I go in the United States or Canada, if I ever did that is, I would be on the left side of the road the entire time.
And I remember everyone else driving on the left side too. I remember them doing it yesterday. And now, everyone’s acting like it’s actually been this other way the entire time and that I’m somehow just noticing it. But I’m not “just noticing” it. It changed without warning me, to my abject frustration. This is what my life has been like since I planted it. I remember when it first sprouted. When I first started noticing the changes. The very first one I encountered were the changes made to the American flag. Again, swearing to God, on my own life, and on my late mother’s grave, I can attest that the American flag has always had 13, red and white, diagonal stripes. Not horizontal. Diagonal.
Again, I remember vividly sitting Indian style around our 1st grade teacher as she taught us some of the most basic history of the Revolutionary War. Particularly when it came to the Betsy Ross story. I remember being told that, when Betsy Ross first showed George Washington her initial design for the flag that it did indeed have horizontal stripes just like the one I suppose all of you are familiar with. But at the last second, he had her change them to be diagonal because he wanted to convey that the United States did not intend to be an empire in which some states would be perceived to be dominating the others by being “on top”. Making the stripes diagonal, to him, avoided this undesired symbolism.
I remember it all so clearly, even the little kitschy cartoon drawings in our school books of him with Betsy Ross as she showed him the final design. I remember reading about it in middle and high school. Hell, I even remember writing a 13 page essay for US History I in college that dealt with the subject. The paper of course, along with any historical record or proof of this detailed memory (digital or otherwise), is nowhere I can find it. It’s as if God or something turned the whole world into one big Wikipedia article and began editing reality at random with no one reverting the changes.
If you don’t think I’m crazy yet, then maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. When I noticed the plant had grown its eighth root, I learned for the first time in my life that Richard Nixon resigned over the Watergate scandal and not for having been outed as having had a nearly decade long affair with both Marilyn Monroe and Jackie Kennedy at the same time as I thought I had been taught. I hadn’t even heard the term Watergate before that. In fact, I learned at the same exact time that apparently for decades since, the affix -gate had been attached to various other scandals and controversies as though it were a naming convention. Until that eighth root planted itself firmly in the ground, I had never once seen or heard of something like that before.
The day I noticed the very first flower to bloom on it, was the same day I found out there’s this little place near Long Island and New Jersey you may have heard of called New York City. You see, to me, that place has always been (and always will be in my mind as I cling onto what I know to be the truth) New Ithaca. Frank Sinatra’s famous song that is played every year on New Year’s Eve, has always been about the great city of New Ithaca, the Big Apple. The changes are just so weird and particular too. The whole general history of that city and state has remains the same though (at least to me), being that it was founded by the Dutch but was taken by the British and renamed before becoming a part of the United States. Only, instead the place was previously named New North Brabant whereas I suppose you have always known that New York used to be New Amsterdam.
There’s even a song about that bit of trivia, I learned. Catchy, and also cringe inducing for someone like me going through what I’m going through.
Actually the overwhelming bulk of changes have had to do with place names. Again growing up, I had it beaten into my brain that in 1492 Columbus sailed the Pacific blue. You heard that right. The vast puddle you probably call the Atlantic Ocean has always been the Pacific to me. And vice versa. Nebraska was a name I had not ever heard of before I measured another half foot in that damn thing’s already enormous length. To me that place was called the State of Fillmore. If before I measured it to be at 3 feet, you had asked me to point out Paris on a map, I would have stared at you blankly until I realized you probably meant to say Degaulleville which was built just northeast of the ruins of the ill-fated City of Lights after it was used as a testing ground for Germany’s most devastating weapon of WWII - the nuclear bomb.
Apparently in this new world the plant has created for me, it is our country that has the dubious honor of being the first military in the world to use nuclear weapons in an actual war.
And the list of changes I have just goes on and on like that. I’m not going to waste time spelling them all out for you. I’m sure that should be enough for you to at least hear me out or dismiss me as having had a break with reality. All I want now is this thing in my backyard, and these seeds to boot, out of here. Like I said in the beginning, I’d throw it away, but now that I suspect there’s some sort of link between it and all these changes being made, I worry what it could do to me if I yanked it out of the ground and chucked it into a dumpster. Degaulleville, Fillmore, etc. were erased by this thing. I could be too, if I made it mad enough.
There’s another part of me, a selfish part, that hopes if someone else takes it they can be the ones to have all these changes happen to instead. They can be the ones to watch desperately as what you once knew to be true, to be there, to be real, is all ground up and thrown away like it was nothing to bend your reality and leave you as the only one aware of it. I want that to happen to someone else instead of me. I want to be the one who’s oblivious to the changes made in the fabric and window dressings of reality. I want to be the one who reads the complaints and desperate cries of someone like me, and calls them crazy. I want want want that.
There’s another, tinier part of me, that naively hopes once I can leave this thing with someone else, it will change reality again but this time for the better. For the better, for me. Maybe once it starts affecting someone else adversely, it can change reality one more time to make my mom come back. To come back in a way that would make me forget she was ever gone. And then maybe I can go home, go back to the life I was used to living. But I know at the same time, there’s absolutely no reason it would do something nice like that for me.
Hell, if anything, it could decide to make things in reality, history, etc. worse for everyone including me. Like let me think… Okay for example, remember back in 1999 when everyone was afraid of the Y2K bug, but then it turned out to not be such a catastrophic ordeal as people were predicting? That damn plant could change things to make it so that Y2K’s catastrophic potential was fulfilled. Or wait, here’s a more recent example - remember like three or so years ago when there was that weird disease in China all the schools and governments got freaked out about for two weeks, warning about having to do lockdowns and stuff like that only for the Chinese government to successfully contain it before it could leave its shores?
I’d imagine the plant could change that history as well. And it’s not like I want any of that to happen, it’s just that I have little to no control over whether or not it will. And I just want to be free from being the only one to know it’s all happening. To notice it everyday. To have your heart and brain scratched at and tortured by it when you do.
So please, someone, anyone out there who can and is willing to take this thing off my hands knowing full well what it is - just DM me. I’ll give it to you at no charge or expense to you. I’ll even dig it out of the ground and drive to where you are (if you’re on the island that is) so you don’t have to get up and go anywhere. If you’re located somewhere else I’ll happily volunteer to pay all the associated shipping costs at my own expense as well in order to get it to you.
You’ll be my knight in shining armor if you do.
UPDATE: I am no longer in need of anyone to take this thing and these seeds off my hands. Thank you to the person that DMed me after I posted this. I got your email confirming that it safely arrived at your address as well. Also, glad to hear it’s grown another root. By glad, I mean that I am glad to know that it has grown yet again but this time I haven’t noticed anything changing. You have no idea what you’ve done to help salvage my sanity. Bless you.

2 years ago my grandad went into hospital suddenly one day out of nowhere and we found out he got bowel cancer. Since then he’s had multiple surgeries and radiotherapy having most of his intestines removed. He came home maybe February 2022 time before 2 months ago developing streps and going hospital before coming home again and being sent to hospital again 2-3 weeks ago for a blood clot. It is suspected that the cancer has grown as they couldn’t remove it as another surgery would potentially kill him.
Since all this has been happening I can feel my mood worsening each day, I’m getting less and less social, he’s constantly on my mind and I can see the effect it is having on my Nan and mum.
Even when he was here he feels like a ghost of what he was before like he’s only half here and I feel bad that I only see him as half a person but I want him back the old him and that’s not happening and I’m not ready for him to go he’s my hero my everything the father figure he taught me how to ride a bike got me into football took me to football helped pay for it all growing up I would be nothing without him he’s Molded me into everything I am now
I also often have thoughts of me having to walk his coffin down on the funeral and idk if that’s normal to do

To begin, two major changes need to be made to both FTWD and TWD. Firstly, Travis is shot in the neck, and he does throw himself out of the helicopter, but he survives by landing in a river. Secondly, in TWD, Carl doesn't die. Instead, Morgan sacrifices his life in some grand gesture, and his final plea is for Rick to end the war.
My Reasoning:

1. Not only was Travis' death sudden and absurd, but it also ruined any potential he had to become an excellent character. In my version, Madison and Co are still pushed forward by news of his "death," killing two birds with one stone and allowing for a myriad of interesting possibilities.
2. This allows TWD to continue closer to how it did in the comics, a way I find much more narratively satisfying, and doesn't allow Morgan to crossover--thus stopping FTWD from becoming the "Morgan and Friends Show". (Maybe he can die saving Carl--bringing his character arc of not being able to protect Duane full circle.)

These are not entire seasons. These are simply general ideas. P.S. - Reading this in one sitting might make it feel like a breakneck pace, but just try to picture your own episodes within these seasons.
SEASON 3
With Travis now alive, it allows season three to play out basically the same, until the mid-season finale, where Travis would reveal himself as alive. From there, we would get a Travis-centric episode like we did with Daniel, showing how he stitched up his own neck wound and lived in the wilderness until he was found by Walker's people. As someone else said on this sub, this would open up the possibility of Travis being a bridge between the two people groups.
Because of his siding with Walker, we could get a very interesting dynamic between Travis and the other Clarks, specifically Madison. Story beats would have to change, but this will help the overarching story overall. For my purposes, Travis (while with Walker's people) would revert to his more pacifist self as he was in seasons 1 and 2. However, this would not change his tendency for violence, which he would struggle with during the duration of the season. Luciana still leaves, Daniel is still shot by Strand, Madison still kills Troy, and Nick still destroys the dam.
TLDR: Travis survives his gunshot wound and becomes a bridge between the two communities. The rest of the season's events basically play out the same, with obvious changes.
​

SEASON 4

The dam has exploded. And after a minor time skip, we meet up with our crew: Madison, Alicia, Nick, and Travis, who are hiding out in an abandoned gas station. You see, while the dam is gone and quite a few of the Proctors with it, they're still everywhere; searching for the people who tried to wipe them out. In a hail-mary attempt, the Clarks flee up north, leaving Mexico and hopefully the Proctors by heading into Texas. They all assume Daniel and Strand are dead, and whatever sense of morality they had at the ranch has now completely been lost. They are ruthless to both walkers and people, both of which they find plenty of in the Texas plains.
One of the main relationships I want to grow in this season is between Nick and Travis. While they did interact in the other seasons, it was to a very small extent--most of Travis' time was spent with his own son Chris. But with Travis' brutality more or less returning, and Nick no longer being the fun-loving and adventurous 19-year-old we knew, they grow closer--two men who have lost their innocence and themselves to the apocalypse. Nick will become the son Travis never had. But as they grow closer, so do Madison and Alycia. However, it's not a paternal healthy bond, it's Alycia trying to live up to the "Golden Child" standard she's kept for herself. With Madison's tendency to care more about Nick becoming ever more obvious, Alycia is driven by a need to please her mother--something that will eventually tear the family apart. But for all intents and purposes, the Clarks are the strongest they've ever been.
After a few episodes of traveling through Texas, they are stopped by three members of a Biker Gang (think Hell's Angels or Sons of Anarchy). They try to intimidate our crew into giving up what little supplies they have, but with a single look from Madison, two of the bikers are dead and the other is nearly beaten to death. Travis argues they take the bikes and leave, but Madison suspects they have a camp nearby--and after a torture session performed by Travis, she's told that she's right. They are led to the Dell Diamond Baseball Stadium, which the Bikers call home. After an initial standoff, our crew is let in. Everyone is wary of these Bikers, but after only a little while, they quickly integrate into the group. Travis fits right in with the rough-and-tumble men, Alycia is praised for what little medical skill she has (which she uses to heal the tortured Biker, named Cole), Nick becomes a valuable asset for what the Bikers do, and Madison quickly rises up the ranks.
You see, these Bikers are like the Saviors. They run a protection racket. But instead of Negan's view of people: that they're a resource to be maintained, the Bikers simply destroy whoever doesn't bend to their will. However, there's a major problem: both manpower and bullets are hard to come by in the apocalypse, especially when they kill whoever disobeys them. But that's where Nick fits right in. With his skill with the walkers, he dons the blood and guts once more, using it to lead entire walker hordes into stubborn communities. They've found another new home. But as Travis and Madison make clear, it is not permanent.
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All seems well until word begins to spread amongst the Bikers. Their pre-apocalypse rivals, the Proctors, have made their presence known. In a show of force, the leader of the Bikers takes most of his men out to meet with the Proctors. At the same time, a young girl named Charlie is let into the stadium. Nick becomes a surrogate older brother, and they grow close. But our group, of course now fearful, vote to remain at the stadium with a few other nameless civilians and a healing Cole. It's going to be a few days, so Madison and the family lock the stadium down. No one in or out. That's when the Vultures show up.
Like season four of FTWD, they're still a corny group of hippies, but our group has dealt with worse. Way worse. Madison and Travis leave the stadium to talk to the Vultures, while Nick and Alycia stay back with Charlie. However, the young girl is revealed to be a double agent, the one who let the Vultures know that the majority of the Bikers were leaving. She pulls a gun on Nick and Alycia just as Madison and Travis single-handily slaughter all of the Vultures. None are left alive. Hearing the commotion, mixed with fear and anger, Charlie shoots Nick. But Alycia, in a split second, kills Charlie.
Now dying of a gunshot wound, Alycia desperately begins surgery on Nick. Madison is purely focused on her son, but the weight of what they just did is finally beginning to set on Travis. Nick is treated just as the Bikers return, a majority of their numbers wiped out. We then get a Strand-focused episode, revealing how after the dam he was captured by Proctor John himself. But we see how he was unable to worm his way into a position of power within the Proctors. We get to see how the Proctors tracked our group all the way from Mexico, and how they had a massive battle with the Bikers we know, wiping most of them out. But the Bikers we know escaped, and the Proctors have followed them.
Out of both time and options, Nick sneaks away (still very much injured), his plans unclear. However, the Proctors show up, Strand at the helm. He's the spokesperson for the Proctors now, but a wrench is thrown in the plan for battle when he sees Madison and Alycia inside the stadium. Proctor John holds his attack too, realizing his chance for revenge is within his grasp. He then proposes a deal to the Bikers, saying that if given Madison and Co, they'll leave. This, of course, is a lie. The Bikers deliberate, with Cole being the main voice for trading them over. Travis tries everything he can to convince the Bikers to not hand them over, but realizes that being killed either by the Bikers or the Proctors isn't much of an option. Bound and gagged, the Clarks (minus Nick, who Madison fears for) are handed over.
Put on their knees and guns put to their heads, Strand tries to talk John out of it--trying to make him pause and think. But it's no use.
Just as bullets are about to be fired, a massive herd comes out of nowhere! Nick has led them all here, and being careful, he slips through the herd and unties his family. He tells them to do the guts trick, which they do, but for whatever reason, he turns back. As he moves through the herd, careful not to get shot or eaten, he finds Strand fighting for his life. Nick then steps in, helps him with the trick, and leads him to safety--but not before seeing Proctor John fighting the herd. It looks like he's winning; using a row of his soldiers to gun down the horde, until Nick sneaks up behind him and slits his throat. Now leaderless and surrounded, the Proctors and the Bikers are wiped out. Covered in guts and aimless, our crew leaves the stadium.
Weeks later, and after a few more misadventures, Nick goes out hunting. As he does so, he stumbles upon a man dressed like a cowboy, and sitting against a pickup truck: John Dorie. The same exchange happens, where John asks whoever is in the shadows if they would like to join him. Nick reveals himself, and it ends the same way as it did in the show, "So what's your story?"
TLDR: Madison and Co escape Mexico only to join up with a biker gang in an old baseball stadium in Texas. The Proctors return, old rivals of the Bikers, and a massive battle ensues. A group called the Vultures show up as the Bikers leave, and are quickly slaughtered by Madison and Travis. The Proctors come with Strand in tow, and after quick thinking from Nick, the family and Strand escape, while both the Bikers and the Proctors are wiped out by a herd of walkers. Nick then meets a man named John Dorie.
​

Season 5

John Dorie is what Morgan should have been for the Clarks: the exact opposite of what they are. While they're ruthless and cold, he's merciful and warm. His mission is simple: find his wife. And because of Nick's insistence (and Travis' persuasion of Madison), they decide to help him do so. He explains they separated several weeks ago, after meeting at his cabin and living there for the majority of the apocalypse. But he is far from incapable. In fact, he's the best shot of the entire group and anyone they ever come across.
Tensions however, are high. Madison of course doesn't trust John, and hates the influence he seemingly having on her son. She thinks that his kindness is weakness, and fights to keep her control over Nick.
Based on the evidence John gathered, his best guess is that his wife was abducted and taken north, into Colorado. With nowhere else to go, the Clarks travel with John north. Having entered Colorado, John soon catches a trail. He finds evidence of a camp with the same logo as he found before, that of a key. He feels that they're getting closer, and he turns out to be right, as they find a small community of survivors living inside an old motel. He wants to go in and talk, but Madison isn't risking it. Instead, and with much pushback from John, our main crew goes in guns raised.
Using a small herd of walkers Nick gathered, they take out the guards and quickly find the leader of the community. At gunpoint, the man explains that he's part of a network of communities under one woman, Virginia. They're called the Pioneers, and their goal is to make Colorado the beginning of a new United States. Madison, Alycia, and Strand laugh at the idea, but Nick and Travis are more open to it. After stealing supplies, weapons, and a vehicle, our crew moves on to find John's wife. Or so he thinks.
A few days later, our group finds another one of the settlements, an old ski lodge. This time, however, based on both Travis' and John's pleas, they go in as if they're just some survivors. As they are let in, they see that the lodge is heavily armed--a death sentence had they gone in guns blazing. They stay for a while, with Nick, Travis, and John warming up to the idea of a multi-settlement government. John finds out that his wife is at the capital of the settlement, Lawton. Eager to hit the road to see his wife again, he tells the group to get ready to head out. Madison, however, has no such plan. Nick argues they should go with him, but Madison argues that nothing like this could last and that it's likely all a lie. Madison and Strand want to take over the lodge, killing them all if it came to it. Travis is against it, his guilt driving him to try to stop murdering, but Madison's mind is unchanged. Survival at any cost is her plan now, and if a few nobodies have to die for it, so what? Madison is going to keep everyone together, no matter what. So, under the cover of the night, John and Nick sneak off the lodge grounds and leave.
In the morning, Madison sees they're both gone. Enraged, she prepares to go out and immediately find them until a massive snowstorm hits, forcing them to stay inside. For Nick and John, however, a test of will is what the storm becomes. Frostbite and starvation are mere days away, and they seem to be going in circles. Until a search party finds them. They're grabbed and treated as they are taken to the capital settlement. The search party wasn't for them, but for a young girl, but finding the men so close to death stopped the search. At least for now.
Back at the lodge, Madison is planning for a seize of power. People are anxious, and she has enough trust with the guards to grab some guns. But Travis stops her. He talks to her and looks at her as if she's a different person, something that seems to haunt her. They've grown apart, barely showing any physical affection.
At Lawton, Nick and John see that the settlement is large, larger than anything they've come across so far. They have large walls, farms, livestock, freshly constructed buildings, and people. Anxious to get to his wife, John meets with the mastermind behind it all: Virginia. But unlike the show, she's a genuinely kind woman. She really does want the best for people, and after some deliberation, John finally gets to see his wife. She explains that during her own supply run, she ran into the Pioneers needing help. She did, and they invited her to join. She left a note for John, telling him where to find her, but a massive herd forced them to leave early. It's a joyous moment and something that deeply saddens Nick, reminding him of Luciana.
Until he hears a voice, "Nick?" He turns around and sees Luciana standing behind him! They embrace, and she tells some story about how she found these communities. She apologizes for ever leaving him and promises to never do it again. And after this moment, Nick asks her to be his wife. She says yes, and he couldn't be happier.
Two weeks later, Madison, Travis, Alycia, and Strand are escorted to Lawton, where they reunite with Nick. He explains what happened, and in a seemingly hopeful moment, a wedding is held. Nick and Luciana get married, and all the while Madison plots.
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After five or six months, we see how the family has gotten used to this way of life. Nick and Luciana are happy and working together, Strand has become a high-ranking Pioneer, Alycia has become a rather skilled doctor, Travis has settled down with Madison (though they're still very distant), working the fields next to a small cabin, and John and his wife work as rangers. Life is good. It's peaceful. With all the communities working together, it can seem like anything is possible. But Madison isn't happy. She doesn't trust any of it. And neither does Strand. She believes that at any second, a revolt will happen. An enemy group will rise up. She feels the Pioneers are too trusting, too hopeful. She wants to keep her family safe, and she doesn't think Virginia can.
One day, a community-wide meeting is called, where all the heads of the communities will come together to discuss general going-ons and plans for the future. All the heads come to meet in an old courthouse, including Strand. That day, Madison asks Virginia to meet, and she raises her issues: how they are too trusting, and a severe lack of top-down control. Virginia assures her that those things will happen--in time, but not to rush them. Madison asks her if she will ever actually make those changes, and Virginia pauses before saying...no. Madison then pulls a gun and shoots Virginia in the head. As soon as the shot rings out, Strand leaves the main courtroom where all the heads of communities are, locks the doors, and starts a fire. In mere minutes, the entire courthouse is in flames, and everyone inside is dead.
Immediately, there is chaos, as people think it was an attack. Madison steps up, explaining that Virginia was killed, and the fire was started by anarchists. Strand then grabs a random man and drags him up to the stage where Madison stands. After making up some story about the man, she asks the people if the anarchist should live, and there is a resounding and furious flurry of "no's". She pulls out her pistol and executes the man to the horror of Travis, Nick, and John.
At night, Madison meets with John, as he's become a high-ranking ranger. He knows that that man was innocent, but Madison seems to have no remorse. She explains very calmly that he's going to help contain the chaos, or she will kill his wife. To his shock, Madison waits for a response. He finally sputters out that he'll help. She lets him go back home, knowing he'll do whatever she wants.
Then, she goes home to Travis, who's distraught. He knows everything that happened was staged, and that Strand was helping plan it from the beginning. He's enraged, but Madison remains calm, explaining that everything she did was to protect her family. Travis is beyond shocked, exclaiming that everything that was happening was protecting her family. She looks at him, cold as ice, and tells him that he's not her family. He's not blood. Nick and Alycia are all that matter to her. Travis is horrified and heartbroken--too stunned to speak. She walks over to him and explains that if all he is is against her, he's a danger to her family. She then grabs a nearby knife and stabs him in the gut. She looks away from his eyes as he gasps for air, and as she twists the knife deeper into his stomach. She rips the knife out and he collapses on the floor, dying. She watches him suffer, and just like that, both Travis and the Madison we knew, are dead.
TLDR: Madison and Co follow a good-hearted cowboy named John Dorie into Colorado in search of his wife. After a few altercations with this group's settlements, John reunites with his wife and Nick reunites with Luciana. Months later, Madison and Strand enact a plot to seize control of power. Madison kills Virginia, and Strand lights a building aflame with all head of communities inside. Madison then threatens John into working for her, and she kills Travis.
​

Season 6

"Travis was killed by the anarchists." That's the lie that's told. The one spread around. At his funeral, Nick is devastated, barely able to hold it together as he gives a speech. John is silent, suspecting that Madison is the one who killed him. She knows that he knows, but she doesn't care. She cries at the funeral. But just for a moment.
Thanks to John's help, the communities have calmed down. Order has been re-established. Madison and Strand have taken up leadership of the Pioneers, but they quickly ditch the key logos and outfits. The rangers are trained to be merciless--gone are the days of trusting new people. A new rule is established: kill on site. Thanks to this, the communities are stronger than ever. John lives in perpetual fear of Madison, worried that at any moment she'll claim his wife is a member of the Anarchists, and have her killed. In order to avoid this, he becomes a vital tool for Madison, doing anything she says.
Nick is deep in grief, numb to his now wife and the outside world...until Luciana breaks wonderful news: she's pregnant. Nick is shocked, but excited--ready to be the father his dad never was.
In the meantime, Madison uses John to round up people who would stand against her, and after planting evidence and calling them Anarchists, she has them executed. Her family and community is secure. It looks like no one can stand in her way--except one woman: Luciana. Now pregnant and fearful of the dangerous new woman in control of Lawton, she wants to leave with Nick. He argues that they need to stay, it's his mother after all, and that they can't keep running forever. But she sees the danger.
That night, Nick and Alycia and hanging out together when he proudly tells her Luciana is pregnant. Alycia is really happy for him, until Nick tells her that he's decided he's going to leave Lawton with her after she gives birth. At the same time, Madison goes to Nick's home and meets with Luciana. She plays up the whole "sympathetic mother figure" deducing rather quickly that Luciana is pregnant. Luciana then tells her that they'll be leaving soon, much to the dismay of Madison. She soon leaves once Nick returns, not acting as if she knows about the pregnancy and their plans.
The next day John offers to take Nick down to one of their outermost communities, a few days ride. He accepts, feeling on top of the world. At that time, a group of armed Rangers burst into Nick's home, searching the entire place. Luciana is confused, but she is quickly tackled to the ground. Then, they find what they're searching for: the same knife used to kill Travis. Dragged out of her home, she's thrown into a holding cell.
A few hours out from Lawton, John struggles with the immense guilt of something. Nick asks him what's wrong, and he finally explains that Strand told him to take Nick out of town for a few days while something happened. Fearing something really bad is going to happen, Nick races back to Lawton, with the help of John.
The knife is supposedly the one that killed Travis, and Luciana is scheduled for a public execution that same day. At the time of the execution, Luciana is brought up on the gallows, in front of public of view, and Strand gives a speech about order and safety. Madison is absent. Nick reaches the main gates, but is temporarily blocked. Using sheer adrenaline and channeling Travis, he fights off the two guards and races to the center of town to see Luciana, noose around her neck. He screams for them to stop, but with the crank of a lever, the trapdoor falls, and Luciana suffocates to death. Nick can't do anything as he falls over, weeping, saying, "She's pregnant...she's pregnant..." Alycia comes running from the Infirmary, unaware of what's happening. John finally makes it to the town square, and using his crackshot aim, shoots Luciana down. But it's too late. For whatever the reason, she turned fast, and John walks over and quietly puts an end to her reanimated self.
Nick is completely broken now. He lays in a ball on the ground, unable to move. Alycia attempts to comfort him, but he pushes her away. John walks over to him, attempting to apologize or make what he did right, but Nick snaps. Grabbing a knife off of Alycia, he stabs John is the gut, and begins to beat his face in. Alycia tries to stop him, but Nick kicks her away as he takes swing after swing, beating John nearly to death. Nick then stops, grabs John's rifle, and screams for Strand. Strand, still standing on the gallows, attempts to duck as Nick fires at him, hitting him in the shoulder with a bullet. Nicks keeps firing, until his gun clicks empty. He stands, surrounded by Rangers and civilians.
He's locked in a cell, fists bloody and eyes empty. Madison comes to the cell, trying to play innocence, until Nick grabs her by the throat. He squeezes, a fire lit behind his eyes. All the pieces fit together now. Everything. He begins to laugh hysterically, realizing it was his own mother who killed his pregnant wife. "You...you actually thought I would what--just fall back into your own arms? Be your own little "Nicky' again!?" He tightens his grip, but he's too good a man. He can't do it. He releases her, utterly defeated. Madison leaves, telling Strand that he'll come around.
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A long time later, months, years, we're not sure--somehow, Nick is out of the cell. It's wintertime in Colorado, and he's living in the wilderness now, sporting much longer hair and a beard. Using tricks he learned while in Mexico and from Travis, he lives as a nomad. But no matter how far he travels, he's still hunted by the Pioneers.
In a flashback, we see that is was Strand who let Nick out of the cell. Nick just about kills him, but seeing the guilt Strand feels, Nick decides to just leave. He's quiet and stealthy, just stealing one of Travis' jackets and a machete. But before he leaves, he sneaks to Alycia, and pleads with her to come with him. She refuses, deciding to stay with Madison. He's sad, but he doesn't stick around. He climbs over one of the walls, and slips away.
In the present, we follow Nick as he lives in the woods of Colorado. He's almost completely silent, barely even grunting. He dispatches walkers with ease, and because of Travis, he knows how to live purely off the land alone. He's almost unrecognizable. One day, while cooking a rabbit, two Pioneers come across him on horseback. They dismount, holding him up at gunpoint, and tell him that he's going to return to Lawton with them. He doesn't speak as he pulls out his machete and cleaves one of the Pioneers' arms off. The man screams in agony as Nick impales the other one mercilessly. He kills the second man, then turns and grabs the other man's rifle. He checks its ammo, slings it across his back, and begins to raise his machete at the first Pioneer--before the man begins to weep. He begins blubbering about his wife, how they have a child on the way. Nick lowers his blade, wipes the blood on his sleeve, and sheathes it. The Pioneer begs for bandage, medicine, anything, but Nick just leaves, saying, "Tell her to stop coming after me."
The problem for Nick is that, essentially, he's trapped. Because of the thirteen-community network Madison now controls, he's surrounded, on all sides, by people attempting to capture him. It miles of land, sure, but not something easily escaped. So he's done what little he can--evade the larger search parties, and deal with the smaller pairs of rangers he encounters.
His new plan is to head farther north, hopefully into Wyoming or Montana. So for an episode he heads north, evading capture.
At the same time, Madison continues to rule the communities with an iron fist. But there's a problem: people have been disappearing from within the communities. Alicia has matured over this time, taking up a leadership position under her mother. She's an advocate for letting Nick go, but Madison can't. Strand still works for her, though he has become more brazen after his secret releasing of Nick. Madison suspects it was him who did it, but she waits to act. John has become the head of tracking Nick down, but he does his job in a way that slows down the process.
Madison calls him in for a meeting, and explains that his new mission will be discovering where her citizens are going. Thankful to be off of Nick, he accepts.
Nick makes his way to the furthermost community after days of travel, called "The Lanes". Sneaking past guards and the occasional walker, he makes it to Colorado border, and stops. He feels horribly guilty for leaving his sister with his mother, and he can't seem to shake the feeling. Then, he sees something odd: a small group of civilians sneaking out of the Lanes. He watches them, then decides to follow. After traveling deeper into the woods than he's gone before, he stumbles upon the civilians destination: The Copse.
An idyllic home deep in the Colorado woods, Nick is greeted by an old eccentric man: Teddy. Teddy is kind and wise, offering to take Nick's weapons, as he won't need them there. Nick cautiously obliges, and after a few days, falls in love with the place. Everyone who's fled from the communities has come here, and it's perfect. Until John finds it.
With six rangers vs an entire commune, Nick prepares for battle. But Teddy tells him to stop, and to let happen what needs to happen. Confused by his order, he steps down. John sees the place, and realizes that this is what the communities can be. He decides not to tell Madison about the commune, and he returns to his wife, and they leave together in secret.
After more drama and death, Madison stops all her rangers from looking for Nick, and switches the mission to finding this rumored commune. Nick catches wind of this, and warns Teddy that this is coming. Teddy refuses to arm, but Nick circumvents this by talking to the people of the commune. He finally steps into a position of leadership, rallying the citizens into protecting what they have. The citizens come together and form a fighting force, right as the first Rangers arrive.
It's a bloody battle, but the Rangers are defeated. Nick realizes that the people cannot defeat 13 communities, but they can convert them. After more fights, persuading, and uprising, nearly half of all the communities have rallied under Nick against Madison and her army.
Eager to get out from under her thumb of oppression, people from within Lawton begin to revolt. Madison, of course, shuts this down--brutally beating anyone who stands against her. Alicia sees now that her mother is truly gone, and begins to communicate with Nick, planning a final stand.
After weeks of fighting and plotting, it all comes to a head. All of Nick's forces, now seven communities, rally together to charge, all at once, to Madison's six community army stationed at Lawton. Strand, however, attempts to sabotage Madison's army by destroying their ammo reserves. He's caught, tortured for his involvement in the civil war, and in one final act of brutality by Madison, beheaded in view of both her own and Nick's armies.
On this, both sides clash, resulting in a massive firefight. Hundreds are killed between the two groups, and in the end, Lawton is in flames and Nick is within Madison's home. They fight, and it's brutal and hard to watch as we see our once mother and son duo trade blows. Nick finally gets the upper hand, and a mortally wounded Madison makes one last remark, "I kept you and Alicia safe. I did that no matter what. I tried to keep us all together..." Nick shakes his head. "You tore us apart Mom. I love you, even after what you did to us. To me. But this can't go on."
Madison hears these words, and sheds a tear. Nick looks away as Madison Clark dies. Nick leaves the house, teary-eyed, and explains what happened to the people. The war is ended. The Communities are reunited.
A few weeks later, Nick and Alicia share one last moment together--embracing at Lawton's gates. Alicia has become the leader of these communities, and peace has now truly been established. But Nick can't stay. The memories here haunt him. He's decided to leave. Go north. He shares one last goodbye to everyone he's met over the past years, and he departs, once again alone and on the road.
TLDR: After a brutal betrayal by Madison, Nick leaves Lawton. After a long time spent in the woods, he finds a new home: a peaceful commune. but realizing his mother will never stop searching for him, he rallies together the people of the commune and half of all the others. After betrayals, beheadings, and losses. The war is ended, and peace returns to the Colorado Communities. Nick decides to leave, and he's once again alone on the road.
THE END
I know that this was a long read, and I appreciate all of those who did. A few parts need work, but overall, this is a very rough draft for how I would have handled Fear.
Thanks to AI, attached are some admittedly rough designs for what our characters could have looked like in the later seasons:
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Nick in season 6.
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Nick on the road.
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Alicia in Colorado.
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An older Travis and Madison in one of the Pioneer's communities.
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John Dorie at a snowy Lawton.

So I'm running a new campaign and 2 of my players are ex pirates whose ship crashed. I created some NPC's that would've been on the ship with them and 4 sessions in thought I'd give the party a little side quest that brings their backstory into the light. I never had anything solid planned for this, only that 2 of the NPC's will be there and maybe some fight with pirate ghosts maybe. However what I ended up doing was slightly different and it turned a silly little adventure a little dark.
So the party heard that a goblin called crinkle has been asking the town folk to join his new crew and some guards were worried he might do something bad so my players took a bounty to stop whatever the goblin is doing. When they got there, one of the players heard a rumour about the little kobold that was with the goblin being arrested, the party went and bailed him out and my portrayal of him was a sort of fast talking puppy with too many injuries to count. The kobold told them that the goblin friend changed after going inside a cave and he keept following him to talk but he was always ignored and he doesn't know what's happening. The party fed him, took care of him, checked out the cave but couldn't get in so went to grab a dispel magic scroll as they were too low level. They didn't have enough money but the shop keeper is a powerful creature who sort of like a hag wants deals too so she asked for blaze to be her pet/servant. The party refused so another deal was made. At this point the party has spent just around a day and felt like he was cute enough to keep, I eluded to the idea that blaze might go to the shop owner anyway since his family, the crew, is kinda gone but wanted to help the party with the crinkle goblin situation.
So the get to the cave and find a siren (different monster stats and slightly home-brewed stuff ,because the players are not newbies) roll initiative. They try to keep blaze safe, however one of the players prompts him to stab the enemies and he manages to finish one of the lackies off and goes for the next one being the big siren creature. Crinkle being under the charm attacks blaze and rolling a nat 20, blaze has kobold stats... He goes down, I roll a save and fail. Now here's where I don't think if I went with the right option. Crinkle with a rage that his lady siren is being attacked hits blaze again. Now I think it's just 1 extra death fail but a player corrects me and it hits me. I just killed the party's puppy.
The siren is killed, crinkle now free from the spell sees the carnage of his actions. His former friends call him weak for not being able to break from sirens call and the same player, a druid, primal savegry attacks and ends his life without crinkle protesting.
I didnt think I'd be this sad about this but I am. They couldn't bring him back, they gave him a funeral but I am very sad.

Please see my previous post for the whole story, but tl;dr my estranged dad left me a note in my mailbox that my estranged mom died.
I never contacted my Uncle (NMom’s brother) as the note instructed. A few days later he showed up AT MY HOUSE. I was caught off guard and didn’t answer the door. I figured my silence would’ve sent the message that I wanted no parts of this. When he left, there was another note to tell me to call the funeral home for her arrangements. I called the funeral home directly and was informed that they needed me to sign off on her cremation forms. Medicaid covered her cremation, but her family also wanted a viewing and a service (which is what they needed my permission to do and also pay for).
I wouldn’t have been contacted otherwise. Shitty, but not surprising.
The funeral home was wonderful to me and said that her family “isn’t entitled to anything” and they are not “the decision makers” I am. I said no to the funeral and everything else and they informed her family for me. They called me when her ashes came in and I picked them up. If anyone thinks I’m being petty here, yes I am. The audacity to not just leave me alone. When my younger brother died, my Nmom and her family went to the funeral home and made all the arrangements without consulting my dad and I- but had them send my dad the bill. Spelled my son’s name wrong in the obituary too. None of them including Nmom paid a dime, my dad and I did. So this was my payback.
I’ll be sending her ashes to my estranged Aunt in another state. What I was told from her son (also doesn’t talk to anyone like I do) was that none of my NMom’s brothers even called her to inform her that she had died. Hence cementing my suspicions they only contacted me to do something for them. My aunt will get her ashes and if the rest of her shitty family wants to see them or ask for some they’ll have to call their sister and probably explain themselves. From what I hear she’s really pissed. Whatever, it’s off my plate now and not my problem.
I found out where she lived and contacted her landlord to ask if anyone has been in touch to clean out her apartment. He said that my uncles have been but he needed my permission. My uncles haven’t contacted me any further because I’m assuming they’re pissed off I shit all over their funeral plans and we’re trying to figure out a way around this without informing me. I did give the landlord permission for them to clean out her space. They’re greedy but what they don’t realize is that my mother didn’t have anything of value, she sold anything for drugs years ago. They can do the legwork and pick the scraps and fight amongst each other. I don’t want anything of hers anyway. I am listed on her death certificate and I’ll be closing her bank accounts tomorrow. There’s probably very little if anything in there anyway, but they won’t get to have it. I’ll be using it for the shipping fee for her ashes.
I’m doing okay though.

I´ve been thinking about posting this for a while now. Throwaway account for reasons you will come to understand quite clearly. It’s gonna be a long one so pls bear with me, this is the story (history) of one of the most painful parts of my life and I could really use some help. I’ve been thinking on going no contact with my mother (60) who I will refer to as M., for a really long time now. The communication with M. has been really seldom for maybe 8 years now and I haven’t confided in her with any problems or advice in over 15y. A little back story: I (35 F) grew up in a medium class family, private schools and university, etc. I mention this because I believe its one of the reasons making me feel guilty, as if granting food, clothes, a home and education had created “debt” I will always carry with my parents, mainly because my mother constantly made my sister and I aware of that. Dad worked long hours but he was my rock through my childhood and adolescence. He passed away, did it himself a couple years ago, but that’s a story for another post. So since I can remember my mother made me responsible of caring for my sister who is 5 years younger than me. The fact that my sister has a psychiatric condition made it a little harder i believe, thou she’s not disabled or anything (she’s one of my best friends now) it was extremely challenging to be around and/or control her as a kid/ teenager. Every time my sister would make her nervous she would call me and shout and demanded I come back or handle the situation being a kid myself.
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.

I´ve been thinking about posting this for a while now. Throwaway account for reasons you will come to understand quite clearly. It’s gonna be a long one so pls bear with me, this is the story (history) of one of the most painful parts of my life and I could really use some help. I’ve been thinking on going no contact with my mother (60) who I will refer to as M., for a really long time now. The communication with M. has been really seldom for maybe 8 years now and I haven’t confided in her with any problems or advice in over 15y. A little back story: I (35 F) grew up in a medium class family, private schools and university, etc. I mention this because I believe its one of the reasons making me feel guilty, as if granting food, clothes, a home and education had created “debt” I will always carry with my parents, mainly because my mother constantly made my sister and I aware of that. Dad worked long hours but he was my rock through my childhood and adolescence. He passed away, did it himself a couple years ago, but that’s a story for another post. So since I can remember my mother made me responsible of caring for my sister who is 5 years younger than me. The fact that my sister has a psychiatric condition made it a little harder i believe, thou she’s not disabled or anything (she’s one of my best friends now) it was extremely challenging to be around and/or control her as a kid/ teenager. Every time my sister would make her nervous she would call me and shout and demanded I come back or handle the situation being a kid myself.
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.

I´ve been thinking about posting this for a while now. Throwaway account for reasons you will come to understand quite clearly. It’s gonna be a long one so pls bear with me, this is the story (history) of one of the most painful parts of my life and I could really use some help. I’ve been thinking on going no contact with my mother (60) who I will refer to as M., for a really long time now. The communication with M. has been really seldom for maybe 8 years now and I haven’t confided in her with any problems or advice in over 15y. A little back story: I (35 F) grew up in a medium class family, private schools and university, etc. I mention this because I believe its one of the reasons making me feel guilty, as if granting food, clothes, a home and education had created “debt” I will always carry with my parents, mainly because my mother constantly made my sister and I aware of that. Dad worked long hours but he was my rock through my childhood and adolescence. He passed away, did it himself a couple years ago, but that’s a story for another post. So since I can remember my mother made me responsible of caring for my sister who is 5 years younger than me. The fact that my sister has a psychiatric condition made it a little harder i believe, thou she’s not disabled or anything (she’s one of my best friends now) it was extremely challenging to be around and/or control her as a kid/ teenager. Every time my sister would make her nervous she would call me and shout and demanded I come back or handle the situation being a kid myself.
She never made me feel accepted, understood or welcomed being myself. She just showed affection the way she likes to give/receive it, not caring that I never felt comfortable with it. She would shout she hatted me, that im stupid, that she never expected a daughter like me. All this in the “heat of the moment” while she was angry. She also physically abused us (hitting us with her hands mainly). She stopped this one day that I stood up and took her wrists in my hands, preventing her punches (I was finally taller and stronger than her). That night she was angry ‘cause I wasn’t talking and my face made her nervous while dinner. she through me out and I went to my dads. I was 13 y/o.
So, to more recent events: the ones that really took me to a breaking point where two: 1, My dad was in a ver bad car crash (they were divorced since 3 years by then and we had had a fallen out, he was depressive and an alcoholic his entire life but I still loved him with all my life), this was in 2015. I was living in this other city and my dad was in the ICU so I called her and told her I was gonna come to see him and that a coworker whom I was dating (not officially) at the time offered to take me there (4hs car ride). So she proceeded to shout during more than 2hrs over the phone, the most horrible things I ever heard in my life. Stating I was not welcomed in her house with my coworker cause he was my 3rd “boyfriend” “already “and that she didn’t see the point on me risking my life in the highway for a man who didn’t even care if I was dead or alive ‘cause he refused to talk to me, that man being my dad. All of the time I was bawling my eyes out. You know when you cry so hard you have trouble breathing? 2, about two years later my dad ended himself and since they were divorced my sister and I were the solely responsible for everything. I mean I even payed for the funeral and arrange it while being in another country (holidays) while looking for ways to get back. As I mentioned before, my dad was wealthy (yes, that does not save you from being miserable) so after some months I made up my mind to sell all his properties and means of income. But I needed my sister’s approval on everything. So M. Decided to do an “intervention” on me with my sister present (who just kept staring at the floor) and shouted, on Christmas Day btw, that I was being irresponsible, a little brat who had no idea about life and that I had always been pedantic and ungrateful. Just bc she was not ok with me selling his things. I have many more things to share, but I don’t wanna make this endless for you.
M. Loves to pick fights, argue and she goes completely crazy and violent if you so much as disagree. She hates her own mom (my only grandma whom I love) and would constantly monitor me if I was visiting her. She has complete disregard of one’s feelings or opinions. I have asked her to go to a psychologist countless times, each time receiving either screams or disregards as answer. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade now and my sister for more than 3 years.
Truth is the only reasons I haven’t follow through with NC are plain guilt and the fact that I come from a country where going NC is almost none existent. Family is never questioned. So this would be completely “unexpected”. Going low contact she can disguise, but NC no.
I am certain with the years she has come to acknowledge the distance my sister and I have taken from her, but she lives in a fantasy-like alternate reality where we all love and miss each others. My sister was always her golden child, so she didn’t really care about me distancing until sister did, to be honest. But now she’s old and alone and she’s not doing well (mentally, physically she’s excellent). And all I can think of is, why do I still pick up the phone when she calls? It’s not out of love to be completely honest, it’s guilt. Guilt bc she believed she made her best, guilt bc she’s not a sane person and guilt bc if I cut contact, I’m afraid she will not really understand the motives.
If you’ve come this far, THANK YOU. Any response will be much appreciated.

My dad had a terminal brain cancer and we knew he was going to die for the last few months since he was sent to the hospital, unable to speak or move anymore. He suffered for months and we couldn’t even hear his voice, he was just in home hospice. I was home one weekend a month ago and he was significantly worse, and I was awoken in the middle of the night to his death. I didn’t see him pass but my entire family did, and I think I even feel a little guilty that I wasn’t with him even though it would have hurt me so badly to be there. For the past month, I’ve been trying to numb myself because I was hyper aware of everything when he was dying and I needed a break. I’ve been playing a ridiculous amount of video games to run from my feelings and avoiding home a bit because it feels empty and I become irritable. I had a complicated relationship with my family that I also feel rather guilty about. 12 days after he died, I graduated college which was way more bitter than sweet, as I’m not prepared for the real world at all. I don’t have much experience other than working a retail job, and didn’t apply to any jobs the past few months because I’ve been so focused on my dad and just barely getting by with my school work. I also have 0 passion and got the most general degree possible, so no job is calling to me because I want my own business. I have to start paying my own way soon because my family helped me get through college, and I barely have savings. Yet, in my grief and constant distraction, I can’t even make myself apply to a single goddamn job. I’ve shut down entirely and there’s no grace for me because of the timing. I’m so scared of going on without my father and carrying this all with me. I’m scared for my relationship too. I’m with the love of my life, I’ve wanted this man since I met him 4 years ago and we’ve been together a year and a half. I know it’s been kinda 90/10 recently and I’ve really been doing nothing for our relationship despite wanting to make him happy. He’s abroad for a month right now and it’s killing me too, because I feel like I don’t have my main support system with me. My best friend is out of town a lot and she’s about to leave for 5 months abroad too. My bf offered to not go before my father died, but I wanted him to experience that. He says he understands why I’m like this but forgets at times because I’m numbing and pretending I’m okay around everyone, he thought I was back to normal. I know I’m frustrating him and I know it’s a result of my grief but he seems more frustrated with me with the distance. He came to my dads funeral and saw how broken I was, he cried as he watched my family say my last goodbyes to my fathers body. I went through every stage of grief before his death, but I’ve felt nothing but depression since he died. I feel so alone in this, and everyone seems to have slowly stopped asking how I am. I’m in therapy and it helps but one hour a week can only do so much. I’m just rambling now I just need to get this out somehow.

• #50: Texas Is The Reason - A Jack With One Eye (1996)
• #49: Have Mercy - Let's Talk About Your Hair (2013)
• #48: Hotel Books - I Died With You (2015)
• #47: You and I - Saturday's Cab Ride Home (1997)
• #46: I Hate Myself - Caught In A Flood With The Captain Of The Cheerleading Squad (1997)
• #45: Say Anything - Plea (2007)
• #44: Cross My Heart - Tonight We'll Light Ourselves On Fire (2000)
• #43: American Football - Never Meant (1999)
• #42: The Hated - Someone (1989)
• #41: The Saddest Landscape - ...The Stars In January (2003)
• #40: Piebald - American Hearts (2001)
• #39: Still Life - A Song About Love (1993)
• #38: Planes Mistaken For Stars - Staggerswallowswell (1999)
• #37: Christie Front Drive - Saturday (1997)
• #36: Transit - Skipping Stone (2011)
• #35: As Friends Rust - The First Song On the Tape You Make Her (1999)
• #34: Orchid - Destination: Blood! (2000)
• #33: Rockets and Bluelights - Andee (2003)
• #32: Evergreen - A Couple Curled Up Pictures (1994)
• #31: Restorations - The Red Door (2018)
• #30: Raein - Tigersuit (2003)
• #29: Jimmy Eat World - What I Would Say To You Now (1997)
• #28: September - Cyrus the White Rabbit (1996)
• #27: The Get Up Kids - Michelle With One "L" (1997)
• #26: On the Might of Princes - For Meg (2001)
• #25: Penfold - Microchip (1999)
• #24: mewithoutYou - A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains (2006)
• #23: Braid - The New Nathan Detroits (1998)
• #22: Portrait - Constellations of a Stargazing Iris (1999)
• #21: Mineral - Unfinished (1998)
• #20: The Pine - In The Breeze (2002)
• #19: Cap'n Jazz - Little League (1995)
• #18: Funeral Diner - Yeah, You Remember That (2004)
• #17: Embrace - No More Pain (1987)
• #16: You and I - 143(jcm) (1999)
• #15: Saetia - Venus and Bacchus (1997)
• #14: Portraits of Past - Bang Yer Head (1996)
• #13: Christie Front Drive - Valentine (1996)
• #12: Moss Icon - Lyburnum Wit's End Liberation Fly (1993)
• #11: Taking Back Sunday - You Know How I Do (2002)
• #10: The Hotelier - Dendron (2014)
• #9: Thursday - Understanding in a Car Crash (2001)
• #8: Rainer Maria - The Awful Truth of Loving (2003)
• #7: The Appleseed Cast - Fishing the Sky (2000)
• #6: Rites of Spring - For Want Of (1985)
• #5: Jimmy Eat World - Just Watch the Fireworks (1998)
• #4: Jawbreaker - Accident Prone (1995)
• #3: Sunny Day Real Estate - Seven (1994)
• #2: Mineral - Take The Picture Now (1997)
• #1: Indian Summer - Woolworm (but you we call it Angry Son) (1993)

To preface I’m 16F on moblie so formatting is probs fucked
I do love my dad. I think thats why it’s so hard with him. I can’t imagine treating the people I love like this, but we are all different.
He’s been engaged for a month and didn’t tell me. I only found out when I called him. I’ve never met, seen, or spoken to the chick. I haven’t even seen a picture and she has three kids (20f, 17f, and 9f I think) like he literally has new children (one my age!!!) and a life and I’m just fucking sitting here. I asked him when he was gonna tell me and “I meant to last weekend but forgot” bitch. Bffr
Before me calling we haven’t spoken since January 6th or 7th.
When I turned 16 he sent me a text later in the day. That was it. I shaved my head the day after my 16th birthday for NEUROSURGERY!!! And face timed him after and he said, IN THE CAR WITH MULTIPLE COWORKERS, that he didn’t like it. I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR NEUROSURGERY LIKE WTF ASSHOLE
My friend died. Like literally fucking died at 14 and she was an incredible light and I love her sm. Obviously there’s been a lot a grief, and she and I were really close. I told my dad and he asked how she died. Like bro even I know not to do that. He tried calling me so I said I was about to go to her funeral (like… your child is going to her child friend’s funeral) and I quote:
“Again babe, I'm so sorry. I hope that it was a beautiful service. It was pretty bad at the camper yesterday, course it's not much better today with the wind blowing 🥶🥶🥶”
SAME. TEXT.
Fucking sickened. First off, he says again. I had talked about my friend ONCE. This was the second time I mentioned it, before her FUNERAL. But again, BABE (which he has always called me. Gross. It’s like the girlfriend experience but he is my father 🤢🤢)
He didn’t ask about it. He never asks about anything. I understand now it’s because he doesn’t give a fuck but still. Complaining about his life in the same text.
Those emojis are aggravating.
I haven’t seen him in over a year even though we used to live two hours away from each other. Key word is used to, because within months of me moving FROM ACROSS THE COUNTRY so we could be closer he leaves. I literally don’t know where tf he lives and he has made an effort to not let on about where he is.
Before I moved to my current state he saw me 1-2 times a year, and we’d call sometimes. When he would see me it would usually be for thanksgiving with his family, since that’s in the custody agreement, and the only time he’d actually try to see his kid.
He has a disabled child (me) and he has never been to a single doctor’s appointment. He’s called me a drug addict for taking my medication and insisting he needs to buy my medication when on trips together.
Like I read this thing by Bell Hooks about love vs shame, humiliation, and care. How you can care for someone without loving them, but he doesn’t even fucking care about me. I was sick as FUCK on the last family trip I went with his side on (they aren’t much better than him but like love and light) and he told me it was mental. Literally was very ill and could barely go to the bathroom (with a past of related issues!!!) he did jack shit. Took me to the doctor after I called my mom and told her (guilted me the whole time too. Fuck you man idgaf if it’s expensive my mom pays more for neurologist appointments regularly and he makes significantly more. )
He told the doctor I was faking so they didn’t even do anything just sent me out after talking to him.
Went home early and had a really obvious and bad infection, my mom picked up the pieces.
There’s just a lot. He lied about the woman he had been talking and apparently engaged to. I kept asking him because he always lies and doesn’t tell me if he is seeing someone. At first he said a fee days, then only over two months, and then finally I got him to be honest with the engagement timeline. He had been seeing her for two years. He had been building a relation with her children for two years.
He’s missed nearly all my birthdays
Anyway there’s more, but isn’t there always? I don’t want to give anymore energy to this today because I have a lot of wonderful stuff in my life. I start my first job today!! I told him I got a job but he didn’t ask about it.
Love and light to anyone who reads. I recommend Sara Bareilles breath again for the girlies with daddy issues. Anything by her is good, same with mitski. Peace ✌️

Long ago there was a girl name anabeth a young girl who was destined for greatness she had beutiful white hair and a beautiful red eyes her skin pale as moonlight and teeth sharp like a shark. many expected so much of this young girl as she was an heir to a great family corparate busniess the young girl would be taught how to play sports, cook, sing, dance, write, ect but most importantly how to be a good girl and a elegant lady throughout her life she did nothing but repeat these classes and the same mondaine day. when she started going to school while everyone was still learning about basic math and shapes anabeth was performing high caliber math equations and solving complex equations for a child her age. she would always get A+ in everything she was assigned too she was what her teachers would describe her as a Model student as with that her teachers and instructors expectations grew more and more.
One day when anabeth would arrive at school she would find writings on her desk saying many cruel words "Shark face" "Retard" "Albino Freak" "Pig Face" "Yeti girl" "Teachers pet" "Good doggy"
and so on this made anabeth confused and sad as she didnt knew what was going on at first and ignored the writing and would just smile through it all but over time more and more people wrote on her desk saying even more worse things about her as it hurt her heart each time as she couldnt do much of anything about it.
As the years went by the bullying got worse and worse as it wasnt just writing on desks as it led to more physical abuse as other students would even try to find her alone and beat her up as well as take pictures of her albino body. the teachers wouldnt do anything as they didnt notice it that much but once in a while one or two of them would call out her bullies but that adds more fuel to the fire so most teachers ended up ignoring the constant harrasment but even then annabeth herself couldnt bring up the courage to push her teachers to action as she was too scared to stand up to her bullies as she doesnt want to cause further trouble to anyone around her. yet she still smiled like nothing happends. at home when she isnt doing any of her lessons and at her room staring at the ceiling she would constantly as she wonders
"Is life worth it?"
as time went on as the harrasment got even worse her heart wavered slowly losing motivation to keep on going with her studies and lessons as her grades suffered and got worse overtime and so did her mind. yet she still smiled.
One day after school anabeth would be walking home through her usual routine as she went over the bridge as she did she saw a girl who looked like her but wored black clothing like she was about to go to a funeral both of them stop right in front of each other as anabeth smiled and stared for a bit till the girl in black spoke
"your smile isnt a genuine one, its fake" said the girl in black
"How can you tell?" said annabeth
the girl in black didnt respond but went and climbed up on the edge of the bridges railings as she stood on top the wind blew as her dress flew in the wind as
"Hey get down there its dangerous" said anabeth
"Asnwer me this" asked the girl in black
"Huh?"
"do you think its nice to be a fish?" asked the girl in black
"A fish?" questioned anabeth "hey wait nows not the time for that get down yull hurt yourself"
"I figured you wouldnt" said the girl in black
"I think its nice to be a fish you get to roam free in a large ocean in a huge world and go were ever you want" said the girl in black
"i guess so? but if you become a fish you cant go back to being human, you wont be able to accomplish your own hopes and dreams you wont be able to leave a mark in this world" questioned anabeth
as anabeth asked that question there was a small silence
"what dreams? my life was nothing but paved out in front of me i never had a choice to do anything in this life nothing but expectations after expectations and responsibilities thrusted upon me since i was born in life with a predetermined destiny is no life at all" said the girl in black
"Yet you think turning yourself into a fish can solve all your problems?" asked anabeth
"as a fish i could be free to explore and life the live i want to be hell maybe i can actually smile for once after all even that was taken away from me" said the girl in black
"even then have you bothered actually trying to seek help? theres still others out there who probally do care for you" said anabeth
"you really think that? that theres others? then where were day during does days of suffering i endured they turned a blind eye to us after all we are just a burden after all" said the girl in black
"Then do you think its ok to run away then?" asked anabeth
"All i ask is to be free and live a life of my own" said the girl in black
"and you think you can do that as a fish?" asked anabeth
"Yes" said the girl in black
"well if thats what you wish for that means even i couldnt convince myself from making a grave mistake" said anabeth
the girl in black turns around as her face shows is anabeth as she looks at a girl in white as she wore black and the girl in white stares back the wind howls loudly as the wind died down a spalsh could be heard underneath the bridge as fish swim in the river below and the girl in white on top of the bridge slowly fades away
the end
short story written by shintaro
------
It was the year 2020 agust 15th there was a boy with blond hair and a black jacket and jeans as he had lifeless eyes as he walked down a bridge and beneath him a river as he stared down on it staring at its reflection as he stared off into space thinking and wondering as he watched the fish swim in the river
"I wonder.....what would happen to me if i fall of here right now?" he said to himself
he leaned onto the bridges bars wondering and seeing if these bars could break and see if he could survive a fall of over a 100 ft. as his mind wandered a yell could be heard beneath the bridge as it took shintaro out of his trance and notices a group of bullies picking on a boy they seem to be around the same age as shintaro around 16
"hey there Kenny we saw you around and we were wondering if you could give us some cash?" said one of the bullies
"Yeah kenny can you bring us the cash" said the other bully
"please can you guys leave me alone i already gave you cash today simon please dont hurt me" said the boy crying
"looks like we got a cry baby here bois" said what shintaro would assume it would be the boy named simon
"oh does kenny want his mommy"
the bullys would laugh and keep on with the sly remarks but the were so damn loud and hearing their words irritated shintaro
"now come on kenny well let you go if you do us one last favor" said simon
"and that is?"
"How about do you and your retarded ass go fetch us some drinks now" said simon
Does words that simon let out angered shintaro as he got on top of the bridges rails and jumped and fell down the bridge a hundred feet high up in the air and a huge splash erupted that the bullies noticed
"hey boss what was that?"
"I dont know?"
"You dont think someone jumped? right?"
"Of course not! do you think someones stupid enough to do that?!" simon would yell at the other bullies
they would look at the direction of the splash and stare as shintaro comes out of the water soaking wet seemingly pissed
"Who-who is that guy?"
"Yo sorry guys i thought i would drop by seems like some of you guys are having fun" said shintaro to the bullies
"Holy shit how did he survive a fall like that?"
"WHo cares listen punk get out of here or else we'll give you a hell of a beat down!" said simon
"oh you beat me? how cute" said shintaro as he cracked his knuckles
"ok you asked for it!" simon grabed his bat lunged at shintaro
Shintaro would dodge and hit simon several times around his body and then in the face sending him back crashing into the wall of the bridges pillar the other bullies looked in awe on how he quickly took down their leader
"Phew so whos next" said shintaro as he smiled as he had his fists up
The rest of the bullies looked at shintaro and charged at shintaro as there was a huge brawl between shintaro and the bullys as shintaro would get ganged up by all of them but still put up a good fight but would get hit several times by their chairs and bats but in the end he managed to beat up all the bullys but with many bruises around his body and him being extremely tired after letting out a bunch of pent up anger at them
"aint so tough after dealing with someone your own size huh?" said shintaro as he had his bloodied fists faced to them
​
"Now you guys better leave this kid alone or else i'll come finding you guys and beat you up myself again" he said onfidently and cockily
"y-yes sir!"' said the bullies as they quickly got up and ran away along with simon as far away as they could
after the bullies left shintaro fell on his butt being extremly exhausted from that fight
"man they were a pain in the ass" as shintaro layed there on the ground
"Thank you sir" said kenny the boy who was getting bullied earlier
End of part 1

Sorry for typos in advance. I have dyslexia and English is not my main language😅
I have never met such evil as my mother-in-law. Story time! When I met my husband, he had no contact with his mother. Our relationship was explosive in the most positive way. From the moment we met, we were on our knees for each other and in the last 5 years we have hardly been apart. Quite early on we moved in together. I had 2 children from a previous relationship. My husband took us all by storm. My children loved him. Not long after we moved in together, we talked about having children together. I said I wanted him to try to make things right with his mother, who he hadn't spoken to since he was 16. He was a bit unsure, but agreed when I said I wished he had at least tried before we brought a grandchild into the world. Ah, how much I regret it today. She was a bit willful and a bit ugly at times, but usually a good support for us. She was quite generous with money, among other things. He was careful not to be happy about his relationship with her, but after a few years he started to become positive and talk about maybe she had actually changed. Well... a few years into the future, I was expecting child number 2 and we agreed that he should be sterilized when we vere happy whit the kids we hadd. For some reason I cannot understand, my husband shared this with his mother. Of course, she lost her mind and shouted things like that he shouldn't permanently destroy his body for me and that he would regret it the day we break up. Note that we were married at this time and had been married for 3 years. soon after that argument, the childcare center comes to the door after receiving an anonymous report that we did not take care of our children. The report was filled with half-truths and stories from times the mother-in-law had visited. we immediately saw that this was coming from her. I ask my man what he wanted to do. He said we need to cut contact. This was the reason why he broke the first time. Mother-in-law is the kindest and most generous person you will meet until you say no to her. Then you get to see the real person.
Fast forward a few months. Or daughter is born and the child protection agency is closing the case as there was nothing to deal with. The day before my daughter turns six months old, I come home to find my beloved dead in our bed. Acute cardiac arrest. Things are moving fast and of course I'm calling around to family and friends with this tragic news. I call my mother-in-law, who immediately asks to see him. I quickly say that it won't be possible until he has been sent back for an autopsy. I am letting you know that as soon as I get his body sent back I will arrange for a wake and she will be the first to see him. The next day I get a phone call from the funeral home informing me that a wake had been set up at the hospital. Of course they ask if this was me. I start crying and say that it wasn't me who was behind that wake and that no one can see my husband yet. Mind you, I said no because my husband didn't look good when I found him and I didn't want his family to see him like that. It turned out that my mother-in-law had lied to the hospital and said he wasn't married and set up wake behind my back. Fortunately, it was discovered and stopped before she could do anything. I think that this could of course be the grief that controls her and she leaves it behind to try to support during the difficult time. I call and invite her to join me in planning the funeral, but she doesn't want to. Then I call to ask if she could come and talk to the priest to share a little about who my husband was as a child for the speech in church... she said no. Then the mother-in-law says that she would like to carry the coffin. This felt incredibly wrong to me as my husband had clearly said she was not coming near us again and he was going to therapy to work through the childhood he had had with her. I politely said no, of course, as it felt like it was too much at my expense. I will carry the coffin myself and together with his closest friends and his father. When I said no, my mother-in-law roared every soulful word you can think of and hung up.
I am trying my best to plan a nice funeral and memorial service and have no one to help me. I attend all meetings alone and send out invitations to the memorial gathering to everyone in both my family and his. Everyone from his mother's side agrees to come to the memorial service. well... 2 days before the funeral, the father-in-law comes to visit. He says that the mother-in-law has arranged her own memorial service and everyone has agreed to come to mine, but the no noe had plans to meet. They planned to just leave me alone with lots of empty tables and lots of leftover food. At this point in time, it felt like I was going to lose my temper. I had four children and lost my husband, but everything was about her. I calmly call to ask if it was true that she had planned her own where she hesitates before saying YES. I say it's good to know to hang up. eh Well, at the funeral itself, I've had enough to stand on my feet. I felt like everyone in the church were watching me.
This is the heaviest thing I've done. I stand alone in the church and hear everyone crying behind me. I carry my husband out of the church and into the car that will take him to cremation. I get a moment alone over the coffin in the back of the car. There I get to say my last goodbye to the great love of my life. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it all! When I turn around, my mother-in-law has started her own condolence queue. people go to condole her while I am left alone. Of course, people panicked when they saw they were queuing for the wrong person, but there were many who didn't notice when the crowd was so large. My mother begged me to just go back into the church. I refused. I was to stand there to represent my husband. And damn if my mother-in-law was allowed to take this moment away from me. My whole body trembled in pain when I see her whole family looking at me standing there alone and turned there backs on me leave me there. My husband's close friends came to embrace me and we went to the memorial service.
We obviously had no contact since that day. She sends money occasionally, but I just sends it back.

My cousin who lives in Scotland is having a bit of a nightmare with his council flat. During some maintenance work in winter they discovered some structural work needed done to the main walls of the building. They told him that he would have to leave the flat while they do this - probably for a week or so, as all the floors need torn up. This was a few months ago it was discovered. He said that’s fine just let me know with enough notice.
Barely any communication at all then suddenly he gets a letter saying building works start this week, you need to move all of your belongings out of the flat by this weekend (including all furniture). He works full time and has no time to do this, would probably lose his job if he took last minute time off and they’re no way going to allow him any time off. The council said he can leave some things in one bedroom if need be, but they don’t take any responsibility if anything gets stolen while all these workmen are in and out for 2 weeks with their own keys to the property. So essentially he’s responsible for all his belongings. With zero notice to make any other plans.
They’ve told him they can put him up in a cheap b and b for the time it will take, which is likely minimum 2 weeks, but haven’t accounted for the fact he will have to buy takeaway food for at least 2 weeks and also won’t have access to a washing machine at all during this time. He works in healthcare and needs to do washings every day or two. He asked re the food, they said he’ll get a £12 per day food allowance - remember this is for takeaway food not home cooking.
They are also ripping off his laminate flooring that he paid for (floor was bare when he moved in) and have said they won’t be replacing it, all they are willing to lay down is Lino. This is obviously allowed by them but is a seriously shitty thing to do to someone when they’re paying millions to fix the building block. If he had more time maybe he could have painstakingly removed the laminate piece by piece and replaced it by himself but there’s clearly not time to do this.
Is this even legal that they’re doing this to him? Like of course the building work needs done but it was found by chance and none of the other residents in the building need to move out so it’s clearly not a dangerous building or needing evacuated. It just seems like they don’t give a fuck about anyone and think the people affected are sub human. I just can’t believe they are being asked to move all their belongings out with less than a weeks notice. Like what if you had a medical issue? What if you had a funeral to attend? What if your dog was sick? This isn’t some junkie this is a hard working man who has worked full time his whole life.
I said to him to look at his tenancy agreement but it doesn’t help. It just says things like “a reasonable amount of time to vacate” and doesn’t say what reasonable is. I also called round lawyers for him but nobody is available to give advice at a couple of days notice so we have come here with the hopes someone here would know what rights a council flat tenant has.
Just to add, he had a meeting with them in person and they just shrugged and wouldn’t answer any of his questions. Just said sorry that’s how it is. We aren’t paying for your laminate flooring. And “we will see what we can do” about the washing machine situation. But then haven’t bothered to get back to him about it at all. They basically do not care and aren’t remotely worried about any backlash. It’s really annoying me because it feels like my cousin is being F’d over by THE MAN!

TLDR: If I tried to create some kind of funeral professional focus group would anyone join? Or would I just be noise?
I have an opportunity to acquire a website with content on funeral, memorial service & end of life planning.
The previous owners did not monetize it well, they basically sold a service to create online memorial pages for your loved ones. Nice idea, but never turned a profit.
They did, however, build a great audience and still receive 100k visitors/month (over 3k unique users/day) most of whom are actively planning a funeral or memorial service.
Here's some problems I've seen in the funeral world from my own experiences, online research, and lurking in this subreddit. - People planning a funeral are doing so at one of the hardest times in their life. The result is that the service is not always... everything it could be. Planning a funeral or memorial that reflects both the joy you associate with our loved one's life and the grief that you feel at their loss is just plain hard. I've sat in so many folding chairs and asked myself "is this the best we can do?" - The funeral business is becoming more of a grind, with long hours for margins that are shrinking, influence by everything from the rise of cremations to the lingering disruption of the covid epidemic.
I'm convinced that if I can combine access to that audience with access to real funeral industry professionals there's an opportunity to discover an opportunity to address both of those problems. Something that funeral homes can offer to customers that makes it easier for them to have a ceremony that's everything they'll want it to have been when they look back AND easier for the funeral directors to capture sustainable revenue in a changing landscape.
I don't know if that takes the form of a package of services, a tested system, a coordinated network of vendors, a "product" or something else entirely... But I have seen enough successful businesses to know that if you can solve a painful problem you can find a way to fund it.
Access to the customers is an easy path - I have an opportunity to just buy the audience.
Access to the funeral directors & other industry pros is the hard part, and that's where I need your advice. Imagine I set up some kind of focus group to chat with you about your business needs - or discussion group to connect you with real customers.
Is that something you'd be excited about?
Is that something you can't imaging taking a time out of your already busy day for?
Somewhere in the middle?

Irshaad Ikbal was last seen around 2 a.m. on April 29 near the Plaza of Nations. He was missing nearly three weeks before being found deceased in False Creek in late May.
https://www.vancouverisawesome.com/local-news/body-found-false-creek-missing-vancouver-man-7026786
So then when it was announced that Suleiman Khawar had gone missing after a night out in Vancouver in May, I had a bad feeling he'd end up in False Creek. And here we go, as of today:
https://bc.ctvnews.ca/body-of-23-year-old-man-who-went-missing-after-night-out-in-vancouver-found-in-false-creek-police-1.6429444
"The search for a 23-year-old man who went missing after a night out in Vancouver last month has come to a tragic end, police confirmed Tuesday.
Suleiman Khawar’s body was discovered by a boater in False Creek near Granville Island shortly after 8:30 a.m. Monday, according to a statement by the Vancouver Police Department.
His remains were found just one day after Khawar’s family held a large search party on Granville Island, which included 32 people in kayaks searching False Creek.
No one had heard from Khawar since around midnight on May 25, when he told his family he was on his way home from Mansion Night Club near West Georgia and Thurlow Streets."

Welcome back to this hat trick of a book. (See what I did there?) Let's get to it.
Summary:
Tails gives Mumble a ride home. He points out the business park and tells him that he uses Mumble as an example of funding talent. Tails thinks the merger will make them stronger. Mumble had trained with Amat in the past. Tails had ulterior motives to drive into Hed. He meets a friend for coffee then breaks his own car window with a rock to drum up a news story about conflict with Hed.
The reporter guy is immediately suspicious of the story. The newspaper editor calls Tails for his version. At the end of the call, she asks about the club's finances. It catches Tails off guard. He acts nervous and angry. Her dad said several hundred thousand dollars were spent but weren't accounted for. He suspects money laundering and corruption.
Matteo's parents came home with his sister's ashes. His mother thinks he has friends and could ride bikes with them. His sister drank too much and was called a whore by his mom. Matteo found her diary after she ran away. She was raped, but her parents didn't believe her. His parents won't even have her funeral in the church they attend because it is too shameful. They will go on to pretend that she's still living abroad and sending postcards. Matteo wants to avenge her.
It's the day of Ramona's funeral. It's bigger than she would have wanted. Benji regrets coming back to Beartown. He recalls a friend he made abroad who he eventually left. The black jacketed men say hi and joke around and treat him like a person.
Johnny's boss Bengt asks him to pick up some winter tires at the trash bandits' scrapyard. He doesn't lock his van and leaves his phone on the seat. Lev is amused. He tells Johnny about the message Teemu sent with the hearse.
Peter gets dressed for the funeral. Kira adjusts his clothes. Peter tells her he loves her. Maya walks with Ana on the track where she threatened Kevin in book one. They greet Benji at the church. He gives Maya the white tie that only his family wears. Leo is smoking in secret.
Ruth was the name of Matteo's sister. His mother sees the flags at the rink at half mast. She thinks it's for her daughter. They have the service in the chapel because Ramona's service is bigger. Matteo runs and hides behind a tree to grieve. Leo is smoking behind a tree nearby then leaves when Maya comes after him. Matteo smokes what's left of the cigarette.
The black jackets reserved a parking spot for Peter. Maya gives him the white tie. Teemu tells him he sent a message to Lev. Peter is nervous at the altar making a short speech. Teemu breaks the tension with a joke. Afterwards, Maya composes a song about the town and her parents.
The reporter father attends the funeral undercover and takes pictures. He found contracts between the council, the factory and the club that are incriminating. The thing is, there is no training facility at all.
At the end of the funeral, men suggest that Peter could take Ramona's spot on the council. He's receptive to the idea. Zackell awkwardly talks to him. No one replaced him as director after he resigned. Zackell signed a new five year contract but assumes she'll be fired after that. She's under investigation for insulting a mother who complained.
Tails jumps Kira while she's waiting in the car. He shocks her when he suggests she be on the committee. He needs a lawyer to counter media scrutiny of their accounts. The club will hire her firm to help with building the business park, too. She can't tell Peter though. The reporter dad got pictures of it all.
Peter will be away for a day with Zackell to look at a player. Perfect timing for Tails to visit Kira. The funeral empties out the town including the factory. A woman from Hed fills in on a shift and is injured in the machinery.
Amat and Mumble were too uncomfortable to attend. He asks Mumble if he could train with him. Bobo loudly reunites with Benji then sees Amat and Mumble. Bobo has a girlfriend, Tess, who texts him. Bobo drives an old camper van into Hed. Mumble knows it's a bad idea.
Johnny and Hannah get out of work at the same time but then have to go back to work at the same time, too, because of the injury at the factory. The woman was pregnant.
Two young construction workers from Beartown are near the hospital, and the woman's brothers beat them up. That leads to one of the Hed brothers' girlfriend getting her car vandalized. The woman who was injured lost her baby. The Beartown woman who gave birth in the windstorm worked on the same machine. People from Hed believe that if the same thing happened to the Beartown woman, things would have went better.
Bobo and crew parks near Tess's house. Tobias is scared of Benji. Ted is starstruck by Amat. Bobo brought food in a basket to cook for dinner. Amat plays hockey with Ted and gives him pointers. Tobias said his father liked Benji the best for an opposing player. Benji teaches Tobias how to fight on ice. Bobo drops Mumble off at his apartment in Hed. A rock with the words "Judas! Die!" written on it is thrown through his window.
Hannah is drained from her shift. She found out Tess had a boy over and said things to Tess in anger that she regretted. Tess stormed out and called Bobo to pick her up. Benji offers to buy the campervan. Bobo will give it to him instead.
Extras:
Marginalia
Join u/eternalpandemonium next week, June 13th, for chapters 60-73. See you in the comments. That's where the questions are.