Preface
I did a detailed writeup on my very first concert experience last year which was seeing Dreamcatcher's Apocalypse: Save Us concert in Reading and I got a positive response so I wanted to do it again for this concert. Hopefully this will help future Insomnia going to their first Dreamcatcher concert that are anxious about what to expect. Writing all this down is also a nice way for me to look back on the experience in the future. This is gonna' be another long read, don't think I can just TL;DR it so feel free to skip around to specific sections if you like. If you want to check out my previous concert writeup you can find it here:
https://www.reddit.com/dreamcatchecomments/vpzmqo/20220701_santander_arena_concert_in_reading_pa_my/
Ticketmaster
FUCK TICKETMASTER, ALL MY HOMIES HATE TICKETMASTER
I don't think there is too much to say here, Ticketmaster is already garbage about scalping bots and they continue to show their incompetence with this fuck up. It caused myself a good amount of anxiety like everyone else. I decided to wait till the day of the concert to see if they'd send the extra email with my printable ticket. Well that never happened, so I was debating calling Ticketmaster or just risk trying to pick them up at Will Call. That's when I saw people suggesting to make a separate new Ticketmaster account to transfer my tickets to. Lo and behold, it worked! Seriously, shout out to those suggesting that and whoever figured it out, real life saver! The only silver lining was that my seating got bumped all the way up front (third row specifically) smack dab in the center. So I can't complain too much but it sucks to everyone that got bumped out to much worse seating.
Concert Prep
Since attending the last Dreamcatcher concert in July, which was my very first ever concert experience, I've since seen Kard in Atlanta and Pixy, AleXa, and Rolling Quartz at Otakon in D.C. Not a veteran by any means but I've got a bit more experience going now. I work night shifts during the week so my sleep schedule is usually trash trying to readjust to days over the weekend. I woke up on the day of the concert at 3am and began doing some prep work. Charging my lightstick and battery brick (for charging phones), getting my ticket sorted, checking where I want to park once I get there, etc. I bought some equipment to attach my phone to mongmonie so I can record parts of the concert while keeping another hand free if needed. My original plan was to use all my lightstick extensions and use it as a sort of monopod setup for recording the whole concert. A few things made me change my mind, the first was that I couldn't find a clear answer on if extensions would be allowed at the concert, then there was the fact that my seat got changed and I felt like I'd be blocking people's view with it (plus I'd have to break it down every time we had to sit). It would've been a more ideal setup in a PIT area in the corner where I wouldn't be blocking people. I had planned on using a completely separate phone to record the whole concert so I cleared up a bunch of memory on it, but in the process managed to brick my phone 😒. So I had to resort to using my primary phone. Anyway, I felt like I somehow spent 10hrs. doing concert prep, not sure how lol. It was time to finally head out. It's only an hour and a half drive for me, think I left the house around 2:30ish in the afternoon.
Arrival in Reading
I arrived in Reading around 4pm. Reading Parking Authority recently switched to gateless parking which I've never used before. I downloaded the ParkMobile app before I left. When I got there it only let me pay for a 30min. increment on the app, so I used that time to get a bite to eat since I hadn't eaten anything all morning. Once I got back to the parking garage I noticed the little kiosk where you can pay for the full day, so that's what I did. After that I walked down the street to the venue so I could grab my VVIP bracelet which only took less than 5 minutes since there wasn't a huge line for it at the time. I wanted to chill in the short line forming outside the venue and chat up some Insomnia but decided I should probably go back to my car and get some rest since I had been up since 3am (shoutout to the Insomnia with the same Seven Spirits hoodie that I had who said hi to me on the way back though). After getting a bit of rest I went to go line up at the venue, the weather was a really nice mild day (55℉/13℃) with thankfully no rain like last time! There were so many nice Insomnia handing out banners and freebies in line. One was handing photocards/polaroids and asked me my bias, said I couldn't choose so just give me a random one, when I opened it up it was a choccy milk Gahyeon polaroid! Even if it wasn't official I got so hyped seeing that, haha. Someone else was handing out some cute DC anime stickers, this time I specifically chose Dami since there were only two of those left (person behind me snatched the last one). I signed the Dreamcatcher Reason flag while in line, it's super unfortunate they couldn't end up giving it to the girls! The line started moving around 6pm and moved pretty quickly, I was in the doors past security by 6:15pm.
Santander Performing Arts Center Venue review
I grabbed a Blue Moon and waited in the merch line. This venue was pretty small so they only had one spot to setup the merch table. The line was super long and wrapped around the entire venue starting on the first floor and leading up to the merch table on the second floor. The line moved at a decent pace considering how much it zig-zag'd around the place, shout out to the staff that were straight up sprinting around the line making sure to keep it orderly and moving it around so people didn't have problems accessing the rest of the venue. I got my merch by 7pmish so I waited in line for maybe 40min. There isn't too much to say about the venue itself, you can pretty much see the whole lobby in that pic I posted while waiting in line. There were easy to find bathrooms on a level lower than the ground floor, there were big signs to point you in the direction of each seating section and staff were great about helping people find there correct seats. For some reason the staff here felt even more proactive with helping everyone than the Santander Arena (though everyone there was also very friendly and helpful). I got seated at 7:05pm and the first thing I noticed was how cramped the seating was. Sitting down my shoulders were touching the shoulders of the people sitting to both sides of me, I feel like plane seating didn't feel as cramped. Once I got seated, the Insomnia next to me noticed my camera setup to record the concert and we had a nice conversation about photography and the gear we each use. Also talked about the messed up ticket situation with the venue change. One of my goals was to talk to more Insomnia this time around so thank you to the dude that chatted me up as I'm terrible at starting conversations myself but once I'm in it I could talk forever, haha.
The Concert
Once again, I noticed everyone's fits being on point at the concert. So many people with cool outfits, custom clothes, some people were wearing outfits that matched certain Dreamcatcher stage outfits, etc. Shout out to the bunny costume guy hyping everyone up before the concert! One thing I might've messed up on was footwear, whenever standing and jumping I could feel my feet killing me. I'm used to standing all day at work in these shoes, so I think it was the jumping up and down that really did it for me, not as comfortable as the UltraBoosts I wore last concert. Anyway, it was easy enough to ignore since the concert was so awesome! I was practically front row, which I never thought I'd get a chance to do. I'm really short for a guy, so I always worried about not getting a good enough spot in the PIT to see over people. Most people in front of me were taller than me but it wasn't a huge issue for the most part. The members entered and the hype begun, seriously never thought I'd get to be this close to them! One of my slight complaints from the last concert was that I am a bit nearsighted and it was hard to make out the members faces from where I was seated (although I know them well enough to pick them out on their gait alone). Now it was like seeing them in glorious 8k, and they all looked gorgeous! The setlist was so good, finally #justiceforWHAT! Plus getting to see the 'YOU AND I' choreo complete with props and Dami's awesome staff spinning! Everyone sounded so good and I was surprised that the acoustics sounded really good in such a small place not really designed for the type of music being played. Even during the songs with choreo you could here each member through the backing track at least a few times here and there. Like last time, the members I noticed really punching through the backing track the most were Siyeon and Dami. You can tell Dami goes all in on her raps at these concerts, to the point of bending over like 70° in order to really belt them out with as much power as possible. Also, OH MY GOD 'Reason' went as hard as I hoped it would live. They are pushing their vocals so hard during that song and the "woah" chanting parts get everyone so hyped. It was a fantastic idea to have the encore be all three fan songs. Celebrating Dami's birthday was so fun! Sua announcing herself as Dami's B-day present and her just ignoring it was hilarious, also Sua giving Dami the rights to being the Queen™ of Dreamcatcher while celebrating her birthday had me dying. I don't remember what song it happened during but at one point I'm pretty sure Yoohyeon's timing was off in one of the choreos and she completely bumped into another member (think it might have been Gahyeon but I don't recall) it was really cute as she quickly brushed it off with a smile. I thought I had recorded this part but can't find it so now I'm gonna' have to check other fancams to make sure I'm not going crazy, lol. During the last goodbye talks, Gahyeon cried saying she wasn't feeling well and hoped that it didn't show in her performing (it didn't, she did great!) and other members were tearing up too. It honestly feels so heartwarming as a fan getting to see Dreamcatcher's sincerity in their faces and words up close and personal, I'm surprised I didn't cry myself. Jiu especially goes the extra mile with her genuine facial expressions that show gratitude on the deepest levels. Another thing I loved about Jiu was her crowd control abilities, especially when it came to getting everybody to wave their lightsticks in synchronicity. Speaking of the crowd, I was pretty disappointed by the shrieking banshees that yelled over the members when they were talking. It's honestly super rude and makes the fandom look bad, it sucks that there isn't much you can do about it but to try and tell people near you to be quiet. You could see Dami was visibly annoyed by it and continued to make a shushing gesture at the crowd while pointing at the member currently talking. It doesn't help that the members also enabled the behavior by responding to a few people yelling things to them so that lead to others trying to grab their attention, it seriously got out of hand. Other than that slightly souring the experience, I still had a wonderful time. I will end this section by mentioning the only member I have yet to talk about here and I will will simply leave it with this; Handong's orange hair omfg?! 👨🏼‍🍳💋
Meet & Greet, Hi-Touch + Group Photo
After the concert ended, everyone started to line up for the VIP and VVIP M&G event. They lined up the VIP first since they were just doing the hi-touch. The VVIP participants were all seated and wherever you sat was basically the order they were going to have you go in with each row of seats being a section for the group photos, this way anyone in groups that wanted to stick together for it could figure out their order beforehand. Staff was great at giving everyone instructions and getting everything in order as fast as possible. I was so exhausted after the concert with running on little sleep that I just about snoozed off while sitting and waiting my turn. A weird thing I noticed was that I was seated towards the back of the venue and the seating seemed to be spaced out a bit better than where I sat for the concert. Anyway, it was my sections turn for the hi-touch. I kind of knew it was going to go by too fast to even get out anything meaningful so I tried to to be anxious about what I was going to say. The line moved so fast that when I got to the members I barely got to say "hi [member's name]!" in fact I remember getting to Sua and I think Siyeon was right before her and I called her Shua by accident cuz' I was trying to nail saying She-yeon previously, I felt so stupid but it is what it is, I'm laughing at it now looking back on it 😂. I also remember Jiu was first in line and I realized I gave her a pretty hard high five and ended up toning it down with each member till I got to Dami last and barely touched her hand. It was over as fast as it started, it went exactly how I thought it would but still left me a little disappointed. That was made up for with the group photo. As I waited back in line for the group photo, and was slowly approaching the line seemed to stop for a bit longer than it was before. It seemed that there was a group way ahead that didn't want to be separated for the group photo so they were looking for a single person to fill in the last spot. I stepped up and volunteered so we could get the line moving again. The staff were appreciative since they were on a time crunch, the people in line were happy to not get separated, and I got to skip like 30 people so win-win for everyone. That wasn't the best part though. Since the members were also waiting for a minute or two they all had their direction focused on the last person waiting to come up the stairs and that was me! Jiu gave me a very warm and cheery "hi!" as she was closest and was who I was going to sit in front of, needless to say my heart melted and I gave her an equally ecstatic "hello!" right back. I was going to ask her to do like a heart or something with me but since they were waiting I didn't want to hold them up any longer and decided to just quickly get seated so they could take the photos. Photo only took a sec and they we got up to let the next group in. I was the last person in line so I kinda' got selfish and took my time saying a few things to the members as we left. I got to look each one in the eyes and tell them what a great performance they put on, how cool they are, etc. Also told Gahyeon to feel better, and Dami was last so I got to personally wish her a happy birthday as well! Honestly made the VVIP package super worth it. I grabbed my VVIP merch on the way out and left the venue feeling great. The temperature had dropped quite a bit but it honestly felt really nice having the cool air hit my face after being packed like sardines for over 2hrs. I don't remember what time everything ended exactly but I headed back to my car by around 10:30pm. The drive back was a bit stressful as I was exhausted and we had a freak blizzard come out of nowhere. I didn't see anything about snow on the weather forecast for the day so I was surprised, but it was manageable for me since I live in the area and drive an AWD Forester with winter tires.
Final Thoughts
I got so busy with work, then my router shit the bed, then the great Reddit outage happened, then was busy at work again. I've been meaning to post this much sooner, it's crazy that it's already been two weeks since the concert. I surprisingly didn't get the usual post-concert depression this time, I think it was because this concert felt waaaay shorter to me for some reason. I kind of equate it to the feeling you get after watching a movie for the second time, you know what to expect and what scenes are coming next so the movie feels much shorter on the second watch-through. Everything straight up just felt like a 5min. dream to me it went by so fast. So it's a little sad in that sense but I still felt a feeling of fulfillment overall. Also, I thankfully didn't catch COVID this time so pretty happy about that .I should mention that masks were encouraged but not required, even for hi-touch/group photos. I wore mine all concert and for the hi-touch, but took it off for the group photo so I could see my face in the pic. I talked about my seating position off to the side giving me this weird feeling of disconnect from the performances last time, and this time felt much better as I was front and center and got to make lots of eye contact with the members the whole concert. I have no real regrets this time around, but my goals for my next concert are to talk to even more people and I kind of want to do something to give back to the community like the kind Insomnia that hand out cool freebies at the concerts. Not sure what I'm going to come up with yet but can't wait to get the creative juices flowing. Also, since I talked about photography with the Insomnia sitting next to me, it got me thinking about getting a press pass to shoot a Dreamcatcher concert in the future. I don't know how difficult that would be as an amateur with no real professional portfolio to speak of but it would be amazing if possible! I have to head off to work now, I'll probably fix some formatting to make this more readable and add other tidbits I forgot to add once I get off work.
Thank you to Dreamcatcher, DCC staff, Santander Staff, and all the wonderful Insomnia for another great and memorable experience!!

Hey, I'm feeling fairly confident about myself and I just need to stop procrastinating on getting a driver's license so I feel a sense of safety about dating, but I'm planning to do that this year. I don't really want to do dating apps, and I hear it's best to meet people in mutual interests. So aside from jobs and school, what are some good examples?
I do think of myself as social, and I made a bunch of friends at a local video game scene, but apparently it has died down a bit recently. Long distance running is something I've done as a hobby and I hear there are running groups? But some of my girl friends and I are gonna go to the club soon and I do think it'd be really fun to meet a guy there. I might try to go there regularly when I can drive.
But anyway, those are just some ideas I have had, anyone else got any other good examples?

https://www.reddit.com/GachaClubPOV/comments/11w0eg8/a_conversation_between_two_old_friends/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/GachaClubPOV/comments/11vbyn3/pov_your_looking_for_your_friend_moss_and_find/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Dreamstage RP- Newly Wiped!!
We are a QBCore based semi-serious RP server with a realistic economy looking to expand our numbers. We have citizens from all timezones (US, EU, GMT, and AU). We have a very active, dedicated, and responsive staff team. We are streamer, e-girl, and LGBTQ+ friendly. We offer a range of custom import vehicles with new features each month! Also including the capability for custom tattoos
Starter
Everyone starts with a free apartment at the location of your choosing. You will have an ID, Drivers License, phone, and $20,000 in the bank to get you going.
Gangs
We have current spaces available for street gangs, cartels, and motorcycle clubs that we are looking to fill. Gang requirements are a minimum of three members, maximum of 10. Features capabilities for custom hideouts, clothes, tattoos, etc. Gangs have access to unlock the ability to craft custom weapons. Fight amongst other gangs for the territory and ability to control a drug route.
Jobs
We are looking to find owners for Bahama Mama Nightclub, Frey’s Bakery, KitKat Icecream Parlor, Blazeit Weedshop, and Henhouse bar. If you have any other business idea you would like to bring to the city we are open to making your passion come to life!
We have current player owned businesses that are looking for employees like restaurants, strip club, nightclub, mechanic shop, and tuning shop.
We have city jobs to make money as well such as construction worker, mail carrier, trash collector, or package handler. Don’t like working alone? These jobs feature being able to do them with groups of people!
We are actively hiring for whitelisted positions for Real estate, EMS, and PD with the capability of moving up in ranks (including high command). No experience necessary, we will provide training.
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With a wide range of custom criminal activities from robberies, car boosting, drug dealing and much more, we offer a range of illegal ways to make money.
Free time
Functioning skills system for driving, shooting, strength, stamina, and lung capacity. Heat to the gym or shooting range to work on these skills!
Camping store featuring items with a functioning camping script for those who like to step away from the city and enjoy nature.
To relax head over to Nikki Beach, casino, the drive-in movie theater, Maze bank arena, or family park to take a nice break.
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We have a functioning sex and pregnancy script with the capability to bring in custom peds for kids! Also featuring a new OB/pediatrician RP and functioning nursery items to decorate your house with!
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Requirements
You must be over the age of 18, have a working headset, and be able to communicate in english. For more information on how to join head on over to our discord: https://discord.gg/sy4R2CTtSt
Any questions feel free to reach out!

Wish List: Teslas below and rare apparel/masks
I still need the following Teslas: GS/50L/15r,,, H/50c/25,,, Jug/50c/25,,, Med/50L/15r,,, Troub/50c/25
Complete Trade List: (Thank you for your time browsing this huge list!!!)
FIXERS: AA/25/15r,,, AA/25/15v,,, AA/50c/15v,,, AA/50vhc/25,,, AA/50L/25,,, AA/AP/25,,, AA/E/Dur,,, Ari/25/15r,,, Ari/E/15r,,, Ari/E/25,,, B/25/15v,,, B/50L/25,,, BAP/25,,, Exe/50c/25,,, Exe/AP/25,,, Exe/E/25,,, F/50c/25,,, GouE/25,,, GS/25/25,,, GS/50c/25,,, GS/E/25,,, H/50c/25,,, Jug/50c/25,,, Jug/AP/25,,, Junk/25/15r,,, Junk/50c/15v,,, Junk/50c/25,,, Junk/50L/25,,, Junk/AP/25,,, Junk/E/15v,,, Med/25/25,,, Med/50c/25,,, Med/AP/25,,, Mu/AP/25,,, MS/50c/25,,, N/AP/25,,, N/E/25,,, Q/25/15r,,, Q/25/15v,,, Q/AP/25,,, Q/E/50,,, St/50c/25,,, St/AP/25,,, St/E/25,,, Su/50c/25,,, Su/AP/25,,, Su/E/25,,, T/AP/25,,, TS/25/15r,,, TS/25/15v,,, TS/50vhc/25,,, TS/AP/25,,, V/AP/25,,, Z/25/25,,, Z/E/25
HANDMADES: AA/E/15v,,, Junk/25/15r,,, MS/E/25,,, Mu/E/25,,, Mu/50c/25,,, Q/50vhc/25
HEAVY WEAPONS: AA/25/90 AGL,,, AA/25/15r Cryolator,,, As/25A/90 Fatman,,, B/E/Gho 50cal,,, B/25A/90 Missile Launcher,,, B/50vhc/90 Missile Launcher,,, B/50L/90 AGL,,, Exe/50c/15r Flamer,,, Exe/25A/90 Gatling Plas,,, Exe/E/25 LMG,,, Q/25/15v LMG,,, Q/25/Dur LMG,,, Q/50L/90 Minigun,,, TS/50vhc/90 Broadsider,,, TS/25/15r Gatling Gun,,, TS/25/15r Gatling Laser,,, TS/25/25 LMG,,, TS/E/25 Minigun,,, V/25/15r 50cal,,, V/25/25 Gatling Gun,,, V/50L/90 Harpoon Gun,,, Z/E/90 LMG
MELEE: AA/SS/1S Death Tambo,,, AA/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, AA/40P/1S Gulper Smacker,,, AA/SS/1S Pole Hook,,, AA/50c/15v Power Fist,,, AA/SS/1S Super Sledge,,, Ari/SS/1S Shovel,,, Ari/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, As/40P/1S Chainsaw,,, As/40P/1S Drill,,, B/SS/1S Bowie Knife,,, B/40P/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, B/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, B/SS/25 Gulper Smacker,,, B/SS/25 Meat Hook,,, B/SS/1S Power Fist,,, BSS/1S Power Fist,,, Exe/50c/1Sv Power Fist,,, Ext/SS/1S Drill,,, GS/SS/1S Chainsaw,,, I/SS/1S Death Tambo,,, I/SS/1S Golf Club,,, I/SS/1S Power Fist,,, I/SS/1S Super Sledge,,, Jug/SS/1S Power Fist,,, Junk/SS/1S Power Fist,,, Junk/SS/1S Security Baton,,, Mu/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, Mu/SS/1S Power Fist,,, MS/SS/1S Shishkebab,,, Su/SS/1S Power Fist,,, Su/SS/1S Spear,,, Troub/SS/1S Bowie Knife,,, Troub/SS/1S Golf Club,,, V/SS/1S Combat Knife,,, V/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, V/SS/1S Mole Miner Gauntlet,,, V/SS/1S Pole Hook,,, V/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, Z/SS/1S Fire Axe,,, Z/SS/1S Knuckles,,, Z/SS/1S Pipe Wrench
RAILWAYS: AA/50vhc/25,,, AA/E/15v,,, Ari/25/15r,,, B/50vhc/25,,, B/E/15r,,, B/E/90,,, F/50c/25,,, F/E/25,,, GS/50c/25,,, H/25/25,,, H/50c/25,,, I/25/25,,, I/50c/25,,, Junk/E/25,,, Q/50L/15r,,, Q/50L/90,,, Q/AP/25,,, St/50c/25,,, Su/25/25,,, Su/E/25,,, TS/50L/25,,, TS/50vhc/25,,, TS/50c/15r,,, TS/AP/25,,, TS/E/Dur,,, V/25/25,,, V/50c/25,,, Z/E/90
TESLAS: AA/25/15r,,, AA/50L/15r,,, AA/AP/25,,, B/25/25,,, Exe/25/15r,,, Ext/25/15r,,, F/25/15r,,, I/25/15r,,, Q/AP/25,,, TS/25/15r,,, TS/25/25,,, V/25/250,,, V/25/Dur,,, V/50L/15r,,, Z/25/15r
AA/E/25 Assault Rifle,,, AA/25/25 Assultron Head,,, AA/50c15v Crossbow,,, AA/50L/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, AA/25/25 Gamma Gun,,, AA/E/15r Hunting Rifle,,, B/AP/25 Compound Bow,,, B/25/25 Gauss Rifle,,, Exe/50c/25 Combat Rifle,,, Exe/E/25 Hunting Rifle,,, Exe/E/25 Lever Action,,, F/50c/15v Thirst Zapper,,, Gou25/25 Lever Action,,, Junk/50c/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, Mu/50c/25 Crossbow,,, Q/50c/25 Assaultron Head,,, Q/25/15r Combat Shotgun,,, Q/25/15r Plasma Rifle,,, St/50c/25 Crossbow,,, TS/25/15r Combat Rifle,,, TS/50c/25 Combat Rifle,,, V/50c/25 Bow,,, V/AP/25 Crossbow,,, V/50c/25 Gauss Rifle
ARMOR: Aristocrat's Heavy Robot left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Assassin's Heavy Raider left leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Assassin's T-45 right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Auto Stim Raider Power left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Auto Stim USA right arm with AP/WWR,,, Bolstering FSA chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Bolstering Sturdy Combat left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Bolstering Trapper chest with AP/Cavalier,,, Bolstering Trapper right arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Chameleon Raider Power right leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Chameleon Robot chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Chameleon USA chest with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Chameleon USA left arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Cloaking Raider Power right leg with 7%LED/WWR,,, Mutant's Excavator left arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Mutant's FSA chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Nocturnal Excavator right leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Nocturnal USA right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Excavator right leg with luck/cavalier,,, Overeater's Heavy Robot chest with +25 Rad Resist/Sentinel,,, Overeater's T-60 left arm with +25% env resist/WWR,,, Overeater's T-60 left arm slowed hungeWWR,,, Overeater's USA chest with slower hungeSentinel,,, Overeater's USA left leg with Agility/WWR,,, Overeater's USA right arm with Endurance/Sentinel,,, Regenerating Heavy Raider right arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Troubleshooter's Marine left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Troubleshooter's Sturdy Metal right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Heavy Raider left arm with Luck/Cavalier,,, Unyielding Metal chest with AP/HDT,,, Unyielding Robot right arm with Agility/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Sturdy Leather left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Trapper right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Unyielding Wood left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Vanguard's Excavator right leg with Intelligence/Cavalier,,, Vanguard's Heavy Leather right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Vanguard's Heavy Robot right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Vanguard's Raider power right arm with 7%LED/FDC,,, Vanguard's Sturdy Robot left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Vanguard's Sturdy Robot right leg with 7%LED/WWR,,, Vanguard's USA right arm with AP/Cavalier,,, Vanguard's Wood chest with Strength/Sentinel,,, Zealot's FSA left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Zealot's USA right leg with AP/WWR
PLANS: Assault rifle,,, Barbed walking cane,,, Baseball bat rocket,,, Baseball bat searing puncturing rocket,,, Bear arm,,, Bear arm heavy mod,,, Boxing glove lead lining,,, Camo Backpack,,, Cave cricket tube,,, Civil war era suit,,, Civil war era top hat,,, Confederate hat,,, Deathclaw gauntlet,,, Dense marine armor torso,,, Dense trapper armor torso,,, Fire station bell,,, Flannel shirt & jeans,,, Halloween skull mask,,, Hatchet electro fusion,,, Junkyard fountain,,, Machete sacrificial blade,,, Meat Tenderizer,,, Nuka Girl area rug,,, Pepper shaker,,, Pitchfork Flamer,,, Protective lining Marine underarmor,,, Puncturing pole hook,,, Radioactive barrel,,, Raw cement barricade,,, Scorchbeast queen plushie,,, Scorched tube,,, Sheepsquatch staff,,, Shielded lining casual underarmor,,, Shielded lining Marine underarmor,,, Skeleton costume,,, Skiing outfit,,, Sledgehammer heavy searing sharp rocket,,, Small vault girl statue,,, Snallygaster plushie,,, Spiked walking cane,,, The Fixer,,, T-60 BOS knight paint,,, TV Aquarium,,, Ultracite emergency protocols,,, Undershirt & jeans,,, Vintage water cooler,,, Witch costume,,, WV state bird rug,,, Yao Guai tube,,, Cranberry Bog Healing Salve recipe,,, Fasnacht donut recipe,,, Fasnacht sausage recipe,,, Formula P recipe,,,Stimpak Diffuser recipe,,, Tato salad recipe
APPAREL: Asylum Uniform Pink,,, Clean Spacesuit,,, Emmett Mountain hazmat suit,,, Fasnacht Craxy Guy mask,,, Fasnacht Deathclaw mask,,, Fasnacht Raven mask,,, Grey Fishermans Overalls,,, Hunter's Long Coat,,, Longshoreman Outfit,,, Straight Jacket Clean,,, ,, Winter Jacket and Jeans
CHEMS: Addictol: 145,,, Berry Mentats: 288,,, Buffout: 1366,,, Calmex: 292,, Daddy-O: 965,,, Day Tripper: 510,,, Disease Cure: 385,,, Mentats: 1000,,, Overdrive: 450,,, Psycho: 2527,,, Psychobuff: 1241,,, Psychotats: 1009,,, Super Stimpak: 2500,,, X-cell: 302
FOOD: Canned meat stew: 45,,, Salt: 1394,,, Spices: 841,,, Sugar Bombs(w/rads): 239,,, Pepper: 1375
Enclave plasma aligned flamer modx2,,, Enclave plasma aligned sniper barrel mod

my girlfriend wanted to post some photos in an outfit that she said she’d avoid wearing in front of relatives or my family. I then asked why she would post the pictures publicly if she wouldn’t wear something like that around those who will probably see it. She then blew up and said I’m insecure and that her morning is ruined. She said she can post what she wants. Obviously she can do that, she’s her own person. I just said that I don’t think it’s a good idea since she doesn’t want some people seeing her like that anyway. I feel like my thoughts were shut down and i’m now in deep shit for a comment that I thought was reasonable. What are y’all’s takes on this?
tl;dr : my gf got mad that I told her she probably shouldn’t post herself in clothes she wouldn’t wear around my family.

I'm thinking about buying FM 2023 on my PS5, but I've read that the difference is that the PS5 version can only load 10 nations at once, and I have no idea what that means lol.. I'm wondering though does that mean that it doesn't have all the same clubs or leagues or is it something connected to scouting or something like that? Either way, the league I'm interested in the most is the Bosnian league and my favorite football club FK Željezničar. Hope someone can tell me if my club is playable, because if it is, I'm definitely buying the game ASAP. Thanks.

This happened almost a year ago.
The first time I went clubbing I got nearly blackout drunk. I started dancing with another girl who was also nearly blackout, and we started grinding, and I ended up grabbing her breasts. Her friends got upset with, and I got asked to leave by security. Her friends came to the conclusion we were both just too drunk, and I didn't get in any trouble.
A different night I ended up drinking way too much and going out with a group of friends. Me and this girl had made out the night previously and i kinda assumed the same thing would happen again. We started dancing and she was not interested in me. I realize in hindsight how obvious this was. She clearly was into another guy there and wanted nothing todo with me. She was working at a hostel i was saying and she said she was working that night and couldn't do anything (which i understand now was a polite way or saying no.) I at some point leaned in and kissed her. She smiled gently and kept dancing. At the end of the night I asked her for a kiss again and she smiled and we made out again. I felt so horrible the day after. I never held her or anything. But it was so painfully obvious how weird and creepy my behavior's was in hindsight.
Over the last year I came to understand just how scared girls are of guys in general. And i definitely pressured her into doing something she didn’t want to. Nothing like this has happened since. And i still have times where i feel horrible about it. I really wish i could apologize to her, but i feel reaching out now would be super weird. I recently gave up drinking, i just never want to ever put someone in that situation again.
I talked to a few of my female friends about this incidents, many of them victims of sexaul assault, they said that while theses incidents are bad it is pretty minor on the scale of stuff they have experienced, and that I should let go of the guilt as long as I never do anything like that again. I am having so much trouble accepting this, I feel deep down I am a monster. I never wanted to pressure these girls into doing things they didn't want too, and I thought what I was doing at the time was just how guys got girls in clubs. Hell I even remember my dad telling 15 year old me grabbing girls asses was just something that happened in clubs and it was okay. None of this to justify what I did, I had such fucked ideas of what consent meant back then I don't know if I can ever move on.

Hello everyone! I need some help building a strong trickery domain cleric for my dnd club I would love to hear any idea you have. The rules of the table: Lvl 5 Point buy or standard array No multiclass All races from books but no flying I think that's it
Tnx ahead for any replays!!!

We are a QBCore based semi-serious RP server with a realistic economy looking to expand our numbers. We have citizens from all timezones (US, EU, GMT, and AU). We have a very active, dedicated, and responsive staff team. We are streamer, e-girl, and LGBTQ+ friendly. We offer a range of custom import vehicles with new features each month! Also including the capability for custom tattoos
Starter
Everyone starts with a free apartment at the location of your choosing. You will have an ID, Drivers License, phone, and $20,000 in the bank to get you going.
Gangs
We have current spaces available for street gangs, cartels, and motorcycle clubs that we are looking to fill. Gang requirements are a minimum of three members, maximum of 10. Features capabilities for custom hideouts, clothes, tattoos, etc. Gangs have access to unlock the ability to craft custom weapons. Fight amongst other gangs for the territory and ability to control a drug route.
Jobs
We are looking to find owners for Bahama Mama Nightclub, Frey’s Bakery, KitKat Icecream Parlor, Blazeit Weedshop, and Henhouse bar. If you have any other business idea you would like to bring to the city we are open to making your passion come to life!
We have current player owned businesses that are looking for employees like restaurants, strip club, nightclub, mechanic shop, and tuning shop.
We have city jobs to make money as well such as construction worker, mail carrier, trash collector, or package handler. Don’t like working alone? These jobs feature being able to do them with groups of people!
We are actively hiring for whitelisted positions for Real estate, EMS, and PD with the capability of moving up in ranks (including high command). No experience necessary, we will provide training.
Our food businesses need fresh ingredients and rely on those who enjoy activities like farming, fishing, and hunting to gather and sell them. These activities can be done by anyone as an additional source of income.
With a wide range of custom criminal activities from robberies, car boosting, drug dealing and much more, we offer a range of illegal ways to make money.
Free time
Functioning skills system for driving, shooting, strength, stamina, and lung capacity. Heat to the gym or shooting range to work on these skills!
Camping store featuring items with a functioning camping script for those who like to step away from the city and enjoy nature.
To relax head over to Nikki Beach, casino, the drive-in movie theater, Maze bank arena, or family park to take a nice break.
Family Life
We have a functioning sex and pregnancy script with the capability to bring in custom peds for kids! Also featuring a new OB/pediatrician RP and functioning nursery items to decorate your house with!
Take your kids to one of the playgrounds, or join us at the drive in for a family movie night!
Requirements
You must be over the age of 18, have a working headset, and be able to communicate in english. For more information on how to join head on over to our discord: https://discord.gg/sy4R2CTtSt
Any questions feel free to reach out!

We are a QBCore based semi-serious RP server with a realistic economy looking to expand our numbers. We have citizens from all timezones (US, EU, GMT, and AU). We have a very active, dedicated, and responsive staff team. We are streamer, e-girl, and LGBTQ+ friendly. We offer a range of custom import vehicles with new features each month! Also including the capability for custom tattoos
Starter
Everyone starts with a free apartment at the location of your choosing. You will have an ID, Drivers License, phone, and $20,000 in the bank to get you going.
Gangs
We have current spaces available for street gangs, cartels, and motorcycle clubs that we are looking to fill. Gang requirements are a minimum of three members, maximum of 10. Features capabilities for custom hideouts, clothes, tattoos, etc. Gangs have access to unlock the ability to craft custom weapons. Fight amongst other gangs for the territory and ability to control a drug route.
Jobs
We are looking to find owners for Bahama Mama Nightclub, Frey’s Bakery, KitKat Icecream Parlor, Blazeit Weedshop, and Henhouse bar. If you have any other business idea you would like to bring to the city we are open to making your passion come to life!
We have current player owned businesses that are looking for employees like restaurants, strip club, nightclub, mechanic shop, and tuning shop.
We have city jobs to make money as well such as construction worker, mail carrier, trash collector, or package handler. Don’t like working alone? These jobs feature being able to do them with groups of people!
We are actively hiring for whitelisted positions for Real estate, EMS, and PD with the capability of moving up in ranks (including high command). No experience necessary, we will provide training.
Our food businesses need fresh ingredients and rely on those who enjoy activities like farming, fishing, and hunting to gather and sell them. These activities can be done by anyone as an additional source of income.
With a wide range of custom criminal activities from robberies, car boosting, drug dealing and much more, we offer a range of illegal ways to make money.
Free time
Functioning skills system for driving, shooting, strength, stamina, and lung capacity. Heat to the gym or shooting range to work on these skills!
Camping store featuring items with a functioning camping script for those who like to step away from the city and enjoy nature.
To relax head over to Nikki Beach, casino, the drive-in movie theater, Maze bank arena, or family park to take a nice break.
Family Life
We have a functioning sex and pregnancy script with the capability to bring in custom peds for kids! Also featuring a new OB/pediatrician RP and functioning nursery items to decorate your house with!
Take your kids to one of the playgrounds, or join us at the drive in for a family movie night!
Requirements
You must be over the age of 18, have a working headset, and be able to communicate in english. For more information on how to join head on over to our discord: https://discord.gg/sy4R2CTtSt
Any questions feel free to reach out!

The saga is ongoing. Lots of updates. Lots of flowery language. Cheerleading.
I'll post the 32 OP posts in comments so save you all going through the whole thread if you're not MN members. Eta - couldn't add as a comment so here's the longest post ever.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4756410-he-has-run-off-with-the-kids-advice-needed-and-handhold
The saga is ongoing.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4756410-he-has-run-off-with-the-kids-advice-needed-and-handhold
He has run off with the kids, advice needed and handhold 32 replies Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 09:30
Posting for traffic. Apologies, its long.
Some might remember my previous threads. Basically I separated from my controlling ex in February. Things moved really quickly. And I managed to find a house. I moved out on Thursday. Instead of taking the kids out whilst I moved to make it less distressing for them which we had previously agreed, he stayed and made me take all my stuff out in front of them, and put it into the front garden. My friend and her children came over to help load her car up with my stuff. As awful as it was I stayed strong for the kids, they were excited about the new house, their new bedrooms and where choosing which toys to bring as well as playing with their friends in the front garden. Once my stuff was out (not much, he refused i take any furniture), he demanded my keys back, demanded the kids go inside, and literally pulled my 4 year old away from me, she was screaming and crying. He slammed the door in my face and shut the curtains. In hindsight I should have called the police then, believe me I realise that now. However i was trying to cause as least stress as possible. Due to previous advice on here I have recorded him on multiple occasions. I recorded the children Thursday morning whilst they were playing whilst I was moving my stuff out. You can see my stuff in the front garden and the kids happy and playing. When he took my daughter off me and put the other two inside and slammed the door on me, I started recording then too. You can clearly see and hear my daughter screaming behind the door , (part frosted glass door) and him pulling her as she's holding onto the front door handle from the inside. You can also hear him say you will see mummy tomorrow. Him and I had agreed that they would come to my new house on Friday morning whilst he goes to work. He has been using my past mental health against me, (see previous threads, I will try to link,) since I told him I wanted to separate, he wanted me to provide him a letter from a medical professional saying im sane 🙄. My cpn is dicharging me next week, so he will have that on paper - i know i dont have to do that but I will send him a copy because i have nothing to hide. On Thursday afternoon he phones me asking when will I be giving him half the child benefit. I tell him I am arranging mediation and we can discuss it there as he keeps ranting at me down the phone. So, Friday morning comes around. I message to double check what time he is dropping them over. I get back one message saying the kids are safe, I'm not taking any calls. He then ignores my texts and calls. I got round to his house and the car is gone, the curtains are drawn. He has done a runner with the kids! I phoned police and social services. As we have only just separated there is no child arrangements order in place. I'm absoloutely heartbroken. I've never known pain like it. They are 1, 4 and 6. They spend the majority of the time with me. Nearly 4 years ago he built and insulated a shed in the bottom of the garden. He has slept out there 99% of the time since. Leaving me to do all night time childcare since then. The girls who are 4 and 6 sleep in the bedroom next to me, the 4 year old wakes almost every night and comes and spends the rest of the night with me. My one year old has been in my bed since birth, what must my poor babies be thinking? He also works part time where I have the children on my own. The 4 and 6 year old are homeschooled. I take them to all activities and clubs and play dates etc. I know this is 100% about control, that he is using the children to try to break me so that his "she's an unstable mother" claims come true. I am 100% confident in my ability to parent my children. I am 100% confident that there is no issue with me, infact I've never felt stronger, my mh has never been better. That's why I knew I had to leave, because I knew I could be a strong single mother to my beautiful babies and I didn't want them witnessing his toxic behaviour any more. I will not have my children growing up thinking his behaviour is acceptable. I have a solicitors appointment Monday morning at 9am. All services have been informed, mediation is booked for 2 weeks time. I have phoned the police 4 times since Friday, who advise its a civil matter. I have spoken to social services who have said I'm doing everything right and have contacted every one I need to. I have even contacted universal credit. I believe part of the reason he has taken the children is because he won't receive the child element of universal credit anymore. He has Been begging for half the child benefit which thankfully is in my name. I was receiving pip due to my previous mental health issues, and he claimed carers element in universal credit. Obviously now I've moved out, and said he isn't my carer since we split, he doesn't get that anymore. He was only having to work part time because of this, despite claiming to be my carer, I was doing the vast majority of child care and household chores, whilst he slept in the shed so his sleep wasn't disturbed.
I have never felt pain like this. Being away from my children and wondering what they must be thinking, why they aren't seeing me, what he's filled their heads with is breaking my heart. I know and I will be strong and get through this short time until the courts decide on child arrangements. I'm also realistic about the fact that he could keep them until that date, in which case it could be at least a month before I see them again. Even when I had pnd 4 years ago, I went to a mbu with my daughter, they knew it was imperative that she be with me. I did end up being sectioned but my medication was adjusted and I made a rapid recovery. I was allowed to leave early from the section and even then all my children were allowed to visit me in the family room next to the unit as everyone knew how important it was they and I have regular contact. I was never a danger to my children, I just felt that I wasn't good enough to be their mother. However I've worked hard on myself, I am fully recovered. I engaged in all therapy, took the medication properly and came off it under their advice. I look after myself because I know that to be a good mother to my kids I need to be good to myself. I since have had my 1 year old and there's been no issues at all. Infact as 'my carer' he never once phoned any services or teams on me with any concerns regarding my mental health in an extremely long time, years, So there is also evidence of this.
I have my furniture being delivered today, the girls Bunk beds and sofa, tables etc. I will make this house a special and safe home for my babies, where they feel respected and loved.
I'm sorry for the huge post. Please if anyone has any more advice on what I can do, Or any questions for the solicitor appointment tomorrow I would so appreciate it. I need all the support and advice I can get. Thankyou
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Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 10:52
NEmama · 05/03/2023 09:46
Stay strong. Are his family involved? Would ex mil speak to him . Awful situation for you op x
Nope, no one is answering or responding. I have absoloutely no idea where they have gone. My guess is he's spoken to a solicitor and they've told him he is legally with in his rights to take the kids as he has parental responsibility and there is no court order in place
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 14:48
Dartsplayer · 05/03/2023 14:43
Unfortunately, having gone through the same thing with a family member, this is correct and there is nothing the police can do.
@Iamworthit you need to download a C100 form and submit it to your local family Court for an emergency hearing to have the children returned to your care as soon as possible. This group were invaluable in guiding us through the process from the children being taken to getting a Child Arrangement Order in place. You sound like you are doing everything right
www.facebook.com/groups/488124058749486/?ref=share
Show quote history I have my solicitor appt Tomorrow. Will she do that?
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:08
CalamityClam · 05/03/2023 10:19
Hold tight. My ex did the same thing. I had to leave without them. The DCs were safe with him even though I knew he was an absolute controlling TWAT - I knew they’d be upset, but I knew they’d be safe. I did everything you’re doing, determined to have it sorted legally so he couldn’t do it again, even if it meant waiting to see them. Believe me, the novelty will soon wear off for him when he realises he’s stuck with the kids and you’re as free as a bird.
It resolved for me quite quickly- within a couple of weeks. We shared care going forward. The DCs are adults now and have a very distant relationship with their dad.
So reassuring to speak to someone who has been through this and there was a positive outcome. I haven't spoken to them at all or seen them since Thursday morning, this is the longest its been. I'm assuming he has gone to his parents over an hour away. The police managed to get hold of him today and will be doing a welfare check tonight or tomorrow. They can't give me his wareabouts. Im terrified my kids are going to forget me, especially the one year old, other than a handful of nights where he agreed to have him for a night or 2 whilst I visited friends/ family, he's always been with me. And what if he turns them against me. I'm so scared they will think I've abandoned them and hate me or forget me. It could be weeks before a court hearing. Can a 1 year old Remember that long. I don't know.
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:23
Sunriseinwonderland · 05/03/2023 11:27
Take a deep breath and step back OP. My ex pulled this stunt more than once and the judge awarded me full custody and him none because DS was so traumatised by him. It took a while but it was ok. Well done for recording it. Your solicitor will advise you.
How long did he keep your son away from you for? I'm so scared they will forget me x
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Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:29
macncheeeesey · 05/03/2023 12:34
He's trying to punish you and unfortunately you have to abide by the system.
He will likely realise how hard it is very soon and won't be able to keep up with the homeschooling and caring for three little ones - especially as you say he sleeps in a shed normally.
Use this time to make the house a home for them. You can apply for an emergency family hearing - I'm sure your solicitor has advised on that.
He's an evil man who is damaging your kids but he won't be able to keep them. You've done everything you need to and informed the right people.
Try to distract yourself and use this time to work on your plan of attack to get them back and get yourself right.
My ex took our DD and wouldn't give her back but did eventually. Police wouldn't get involved after they did one welfare check. I would call them and ask them to do a check and say he is mentally unstable and you're worried about the kids. This will be logged and hopefully will scare him a bit.
I know the feeling, my DD wanted to come back but ex wouldn't let her. When she did some back she was super clingy. She knew what her dad did was wrong.
You've got this and you'll get them back.
I'm sorry you went through this too. How old was your daughter when he did that? How long was she away from you for. I'm scared they will hate me, god knows what he's telling them about why they can't see me
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:33
liveforsummer · 05/03/2023 12:47
Presumably he was taking care of them while she was sectioned so whilst he may not look after them when she’s gone he clearly can.
He looked after 1 dc then, not 3. He has become increasingly abusive since then
No, he went to work when I was in the mother and baby unit with my 2nd daughter. My mum and mil took it in turns to look after our eldest and he would look after her when not at work. Even when i went away for a couple of kights for my friends wedding my mum came to help him look after the kids
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:40
Springchicken75 · 05/03/2023 19:36
Op I would also strongly advise you to contact women’s aid after your appointment with the solicitor, they will offer some much needed support and advice.
www.womensaid.org.uk I did this a few weeks ago and I just got an email back with endless other support agencies, solicitors to call.
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:45
OhmygodDont · 05/03/2023 20:00
Snatches children like some mad man on the street. Or a father having his children for the weekend or maybe even being the resident parent.
With this whole women and men are equal they are aLeo equal parents 🥱. He text saying they were safe and he would not be taking her calls. Police have been called 4! Times and don’t seem to think there is any issue. Op willingly left them on the Thursday.
Im sure op will hear find out more Monday morning but nothing makes her the better or more superior parent in the eyes of the law currently.
The police got back to me today. They are doing a welfare check tonight or tomorrow. I didn't Willingly leave them on Thursday. I left them heartbroken, not wanting to cause any more distress and with a stupid idea he would do the right thing and give them to me the next day as planned.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 05:16
Sami561 · 05/03/2023 20:22
I am so sorry you are going through this OP. The pain is like nothing else.
I have been in the same position as you and, unfortunately, as you have probably found, The Police have no powers if the father has parental rights. They say it is a civil matters for the courts.
All I can say is that this will massively go against him in family court proceedings- it did for my estranged husband. He was banned from having our child overnight for a considerable amount of time until he could prove he was trustworthy again. The courts and professionals also named that he was using our child as a emotional weapon towards me by doing this. Your husband will be viewed in exactly the same way by all involved. He isn't thinking about the children at all, he is thinking about himself and getting one over on you.
Brilliant that you have a solicitors appointment tomorrow, they will give you the advice you need.
Stay strong and get that child arrangements order in place💐
I really hope they do the same. I'm sorry you had to go through this too. It so incredibly cruel and unfair to the children.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 05:46
Kinneddar · 05/03/2023 21:49
Probably because it doesn't meet the criteria. The children are with their Dad, there's nothing to suggest they're at risk. Just because their Mum doesn't know where they are doesn't mean there's anything wrong.
The other thing is the police will look at the history of the family in assessing things. They've been called out before because the OP was threatening self harm. She's still currently under a MH section & despite being told its not a Police matter has phoned numerous times today. Regardless of what anyone here thinks they'll make the assessment based on the information they have, which from the sounds of it possibly doesn't look great for the OP. AND the other thing is, we only know OPs version of events. I'm not saying they're not accurate but we have absolutely no way of knowing
Police don't do a welfare check just because someone wants them to, there has to be grounds.
If for instance they don't turn up at school tomorrow that would have things reassessed.
Even if officers did go out to the house tonight & noone was home they're not going to turn it into a misper enquiry at this stage.
Show quote history The police were never phoned with regards to my mental health. I always went through the proper channels with the perinatal team. Yes I did have the crisis team involved but that was 4 YEARS AGO. I was in a mother and baby unit and the medication they gave me to treat it was to low a dose. I was always with my daughter at the mbu. I got sectioned 4 years ago, and once there, my dd went back to the family home with her dad. My mum and mil also took it turns to stay with them for extra support. My section was supposed to last 28 days. I was released at day 14 due responding so well to the medication. I had been observed with my children by the nurses and Dr's theres (yes I still got to see my kids, and kept breastfeeding her and pumping the whole time) even during that period I have never been away from the kids for this long. Everyone in my care knew I was a brilliant mother, I have documents from being there. I struggling with pnd, and never a harm to my children. We were very much bonded, I just felt absolutely not good enough to be their mother. I have engaged with services at every single point along the way. I since had another baby - the one year old, and I was put under the perinatal mental health team again for precaution, but due to me doing really well during that pregnancy my contact with them was very little and the discharged me a year after birth with a plan to come off my medication, which I have done. Even after all this I'm still strong because I know I have to be there for my kids when I do get them back they will need me more than ever. Yes he was claiming carers allowance. However he hasn't phoned any mental health team in years with any concerns about me. He is trying to gaslight me to say that he has concerns, well than why as he only just raised concerns since I told him I was leaving ? Thankfully this is all fact and documented. My cpn has been phoned by my ex regularly since for the last few weeks since I said I'm leaving. My cpn has received calls from my ex and his family claiming I needed a welfare check. I arranged for my cpn to see me, who agreed that I'm fit and well and will be discharged this week. My cpn told me he said to the mil that they are all wasting his time and to stop calling him. My cpn visited me on Friday when I phoned him to say my ex had taken the children, he came over straight away, and is still satisfied I can be discharged. I've had a traumatic childhood, pnd was almost inevitable I've been told, however I have worked bloody hard on myself and am a credit to my children. Any one else reading this thread in the future who has to go through similar, please do not let posters like this wear you down. I have had PREVIOUS mental health issues. My mental health now is better than its ever been.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 08:55
Thankyou. Omg 8 months your poor baby
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 10:28
UPDATE solicitor was great. She will apply for an urgent hearing today. Expensive, but my mum will pay this initial fee. Hopefully be seen by the court today 🙏 With a predicted respond date by Friday from him. I don't know when this means I will get them back, but at least the ball is rolling She will also put in a Prohibited Steps Order to stop him from changing their gp, Registering them for school, or taking them abroad.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 10:38
SchoolTripDrama · 06/03/2023 10:36
Fantastic news, I'm pleased for you.
Also, him doing this, will MASSIVELY negatively affect his chances of getting access in the future, via legal routes. Judges look extremely dimly on parents who pull this stunt
Show quote history Thankyou. I hope this can be resolved ASAP. I think she said she's going to request an urgent live with order too
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 13:46
mucky123 · 06/03/2023 13:33
I have no actual knowledge of the Court system in these circumstances or anything helpful to say but I just wanted you to know that I have read the whole thread and I think you are incredibly brave and strong. I think lots of people would have crumpled at this and maybe gone back to him or just broken down. Well done, keep fighting, hope it is all over soon.
Thankyou. Don't get me wrong I've sobbed huge tears of grief this weekend and been full of panic and worry, one thing I will not do is let him break me. My kids need the best version of me right now, and so that's my focus x
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 19:25
Another update Not so great. He also did a Prohibited Steps Order. So the judge received them both today. They decided to see us together but the quickest available date is on the 21st of March! I've seen a copy of his order and requests. He wants me to admit I'm unstable. He wants confirmation from mh professionals I'm OK. It looks like he says I can have Supervised contact and calls. So obviously yes I'll take anything I can get, but need solicitor to confirm this. Also made allegations about how "unstable" I am. That I'm a suicide risk, that I've done x,y,z... BUT there's no record of him phoning my gp or cpn or anything, so hopefully that can quash that! He also keeps phoning my cpn telling him he is going for custody or he is giving me the order, or he is hiding away with the kids... So obvious he wants me to crack in front of the cpn. With regards to my cpn he is telling me he is putting my case to the team for discharge tomorrow, there is a chance they won't agree, and with the luck I'm having atm I'm beginning to think that they are going to say they won't discharge me.
Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate everything you ladies have said. I will update tomorrow with any news.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:30
Nope not since Thursday morning
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:46
Scalessayeek · 06/03/2023 22:00
OP I can’t believe how some people are trying to bring you down. I would have completely fallen apart in your situation. You just need someone to see your posts on here to see how centered you are at the moment.
Sending you all the strength and luck in the world!
Thankyou. My kids have never needed more. All his behaviour is doing now is showing me just how controlling he is, and that getting out of that relationship is the best thing for me and the kids long term.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:48
P3N · 06/03/2023 19:42
Stay strong OP. You are doing amazing. Have the police got back about the welfare check? Your ex is disgusting trying to use your MH against you.
Yes. They saw the children and reported they aren't in harms way.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:54
Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:48
Yes. They saw the children and reported they aren't in harms way.
Show quote history Physical harm that Is. I said I'm guessing they are at the grandparents then and his expression told me everything I needed to know. At least they know them. Although they are nearly 80.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 15:57
Whiskeypowers · 08/03/2023 15:47
Hope you are holding up ok @Iamworthit
have you had any updates from the police or your solicitor etc?
No more information from police. He came back last night to his house, was there this morning amd gone this afternoon. I was notified by my friend who lives close by. No idea if the kids are with him. Waiting to hear if I can have Supervised visits before court hearing on 21st. Tonight will be night 7..
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:08
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 08/03/2023 19:19
Just for my own understanding, why do you need supervised visits?
Show quote history I don't. He is claiming I'm mentally unstable and a flight risk because he's a controlling, pathetic excuse of a man. He vanished with the kids and put an application for a Prohibited Steps Order that I can't have the children back until he sees a letter from a medical professional to state otherwise.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:10
MaireadMcSweeney · 08/03/2023 19:54
Honestly I would probably do this too, but I don't know how that would impact on the court hearing. Remember now the process has started you can't just pull out and cancel it.
Show quote history This. I can't do anything because it's with solicitors, police and social services.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:33
Hi ladies. My cpn came over today. He isn't going to discharge me for another few weeks. This is positive, because it means he can tell the courts/judge that he is having the most recent interactions with me and there for can give an honest and open account of how I am. He phoned My solicitor personally and she agreed this would help my case. He has written a letter for this interim period to say he has no concerns. My solicitor believes if he with holds supervised visits before the court date he will be doing himself no favours at all. My cpn also told me that in his notes he has written that in his professional opinion my ex is mentally unstable (he has been pestering my cpn every few days for the past few weeks, since I told him I wanted to leave, however not once in over 3 years before I wanted to split was he concerned). Also that he is bring coercive, he is controlling, and the fact he sleeps in a shed 🤣🤣!! My cpn has Been brilliant throughout this whole thing. It's a case of playing the long game at the moment, I can't do anything to jeopardise seeing my kids. This is night 7. I last saw them a week ago tomorrow at around 11. I will not let him break me. He is using every tactic he can think of.
Go to post Iamworthit · 09/03/2023 11:33
cpphelp · 09/03/2023 08:03
The update about your CPN is fantastic. You are doing everything right. I think you're amazing, and all of this will be working in your favour. Maybe once all of this is over, they will insist on supervised visits only for him! How's the house coming along? Charity shops and the British heart foundation furniture shops are great for filling up a house xx
Thankyou. Yes my cpn has been great! Every second that goes by is another second without seeing my children, but it's also one second closer to getting them back in My arms.
Today marks a whole week since I last saw, held, played with, cuddled or even talked to my beautiful babies.
Go to post Iamworthit · 13/03/2023 20:34
UPDATE So, I got to see them this weekend!!! Supervised with my mum present at his request, but after 9 long days I finally got to see them, hold them, tell them I love them and they didn't forget me! ❤️ They loved the house, and their new bedroom 🤗 it was magic!
I'm hopeful for more contact this week which solicitor is hoping to negotiate. I'm STILL waiting for my letter from the CPN!. He was told by his manager to go through the NHS solicitors to make the letter water tight so that ex/his solicitors can't pick holes in it, so I'm actually waiting on the NHS solicitors now, its frustrating... They have had a similar case happen before, so want to do as much for me as possible.
However, ex agreed to contact this weekend, both days, due to my CPN speaking on the phone with my solicitor, and informing her I am well, capable, of sound mind, has seen me / spoken to me every few days since ex started with these mind games a month ago.
The kids were very anxious about going back to him, which was heartbreaking, but at the very least they know I'm always here, I have a safe home and I'm going to fight for their right to be with me, their mum.
Thankyou for all your support ladies. The first "urgent" hearing is next week, and then it's dealing with cafcass, social services etc for the next (and hopefully final) hearing in 2 months time where we will find out the child arrangements order.
Still a bloody long way to go till this is sorted, I don't trust that he won't do anything he can to get at me. He is already disputing the kids living with me and now my benefits may be stopped or suspended until this is sorted, which is just another form of him trying to control me.
I will never go back to him. I have lost all respect, faith, trust and any love I had for him is well and truly gone. He was able to hide behind clever words, confuse me, manipulate me and control me for far too long.
I hope the kids will forgive me for this upheaval in their lives, and I hope beyond all hope that they are back with me on a regular basis and that the judge can see him for what he is and that his actions have impacted our children's emotional well being significantly. But, until I have the judges decision, I know I won't take anything for granted. Anything could happen and now I know ex is capable of this, he could be capable of more and throw something else at me.
As always, thanks for checking in on me and your support xxx
Iamworthit · Yesterday 18:44
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · Yesterday 10:33
@Iamworthit your court case is Tuesday I think? How are you doing? Have you seen your children again?
Hi, nice username, dd2 loves hungry caterpillar!
I saw them once in the week aswell as yesterday and today. All had to be supervised by my mum, despite his solicitor confirming she sent him the letter from my CpN on Tuesday lunchtime, and me also sending him a message to say he now has it. However this letter he so desperately said he needs for me to have unsupervised and overnight visits he hasn't even responded to. I'm presuming he is waiting till court on Tuesday.
Yesterday the girls informed me that daddy left them at a strange woman's house whilst he went to work...
The time has been wonderful and I've really treasured every moment. Yesterday my one year old was in desperate need of a nap, he snuggled up to me in our new king-size bed in our new house and he slept peacefully for well over 2 hours. I feel so blessed to be their mummy and am thrilled at how comfortable they have been when back with me for these times. If anyone reads this in the future going through something similar - they don't forget you. That was my biggest fear, but I have more faith now that the bond between a mother and her children will always be there, no matter what or who stands in the way. Love is love.
So, our new magic house (the girls named it) is empty again for now. I'm just counting down the time until Tuesday afternoon and hoping/praying/wishing/ that the judge sees him for what he is and what he has put the children through. My solicitor is hopeful, but obviously no one knows what's going to happen on the day. I never thought my ex was capable of what he has done, but here we are.
I hope everyone has had a lovely mother's day 💗
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 11:18
Thankyou for all your messages and words of support for tomorrow. The police know everything, they did their welfare check on the children whilst he was staying at his parents house in their old country farm house with the attatched holiday home for them to stay in surrounded by their 40 acres of land. Not in the home where he and I lived with his shed at the bottom of the garden and no doubt chaos in the house where for the first time he is having to do all housework, laundry and cooking. They have been back at his for almost 2 weeks now. I have found a small comfort in them choosing games on their tablets and me getting the notification to approve their choices. The fact that I left with barely anything means they have the majority of their toys there, beds, tv etc and to them it was our home where we all lived together so at least they have familiarity. Cafcass will probably be doing a Section 7 report in which case they will meet with us and the kids in both houses so can make their own assessments from that.
They love our new house and I've explained to them the benefits of two houses, bedrooms, toys, Christmas, birthdays etc. They are being so resilient and brave through it all. I'm hoping for them it's just been a bit of an adventure.
The children filled me in on their day at the 'stranger ladies' house, where there was other children, guinea pigs a cat and a dog. They watched telly and played with the other kids and the animals and they gave dd2 a dress she particularly liked. They were very animated about it. I guess at the very least they had fun, I imagine they've been pretty bored with him. We had to drive past his house and up the road next to ex's house to get to mine yesterday and dd1 proudly pointed out 'that ladies house'. Would you believe it's almost directly behind his house!! For all I know he's been seeing this woman behind my back. She could have been hopping over the fence every night and going into his shed for all I know. I can't believe this is my life right now, you couldn't make it up. But as I've come to learn the hard way I certainly can't trust him, and I won't put anything past him.
Literally just counting down till tomorrow now.
X
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:28
I have no idea who she is. I did however do a Facebook search of the local "Andreas" in the area and the kids pointed to who she was and pointed to the children who they recognised. It took all of about 60 seconds to find her. And the kids named the kids correctly to what she had shared publicly on her fb page. There's even a picture of her 'cheers-ing' her primary aged son both of them holding glasses of red wine. I've taken screenshots. Her name isn't on any registered childminder lists.
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:29
ThreeLocusts · Today 12:12
Will light a candle for you tonight. You've kept it together amazingly through all this. Here's hoping your kids will be back with you tomorrow.
Thankyou x
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Iamworthit · Today 13:41
Ilovethewild · Today 13:10
Op, stay true to yourself and your children.
don’t get caught up with what ex is doing/seeing/sleeping with. It is irrelevant! You can’t control it and the kids are ok. It will just muddy the waters. As others say it’s another twist from ex to distract you and send you off the rails.
focus on what you can do and what’s in the childrens best interest.
good luck with tomorrow, I hope the kids come home to you asap.
I genuinely don't care what he's up to relationship wise, I've been hoping he'd find someone else for a long time and leave me alone.
What I do care about is him leaving the kids with someone they don't know for whatever reason, when I'm round the corner desperate to see them, and him thinking he can do whatever he likes without any consideration for them, me or my mum who's had to drop everything (shes been brilliant in all this) without question, to supervise time for me to have my own children.
I will definitely be asking for first refusal of child care as some other posters have suggested.
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:42
Sunriseinwonderland · Today 13:20
My ex hid him for a month. DS was desperate to see me. My ex is a very wicked man.
Show quote history That's despicable. I'm so sorry x
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 19:19
Tomorrow is an urgent hearing to sort out the interim child arrangements before the first official hearing in May after cafcass have done their reports. It's possible there will be another 2 Hearings after that and this could take anywhere from 6 months up to a year to resolve.
Because he did a runner with the kids first, filed a Prohibited Steps Order to stop them living with me because he is saying I'm mentally unstable.
Best case scenario they return to live with me and the judge sees through his controlling behaviour and that he doesn't have the kids best interests at heart. Worst case scenario it stays as it is.
I suspect he has something else up his sleeve to throw at me tomorrow. Its clear he wants me to suffer as much as possible.

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We have current player owned businesses that are looking for employees like restaurants, strip club, nightclub, mechanic shop, and tuning shop.
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my girlfriend wanted to post some photos in an outfit that she said she’d avoid wearing in front of relatives or my family. I then asked why she would post the pictures publicly if she wouldn’t wear something like that around those who will probably see it. She then blew up and said I’m insecure and that her morning is ruined. She said she can post what she wants. Obviously she can do that, she’s her own person. I just said that I don’t think it’s a good idea since she doesn’t want some people seeing her like that anyway. I feel like my thoughts were shut down and i’m now in deep shit for a comment that I thought was reasonable. What are y’all’s takes on this?

Not sure if this is the right place. Been interested in rugby for a while now, I found a club willing to let me come to training and meet the other girls so I can get a feel for it before the new season.
I've never played before and I've no idea what to expect. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

There's a specter haunting the sub... the specter of... Oh fuck, this bit is played out, isn't it?
Hello everyone, it's been a couple years since my piece asking people to chill about calling things fascist. Just long enough for everyone to forget it and the problem to come right back!
But that essay is a companion to today's topic, as is this ever relevant video by FoldingIdeas about The Thermian Argument.
Today, I want to talk about diegetic essentialism, how it poisons discourse, and is a cynical ploy by corporations to get you to mindlessly consume their products. And, especially, how it's managed to infect Warhammer and Sigmarxism in particular.

Introduction: Don't be a DEckhead

If you Google the term "Diegetic Essentialism," the first result is....this sub? What the fuck? Did we make up this term? Shit, that can't be right.
Ok, so there are actually a lot of other terms to describe this phenomenon, which has become pandemic over the past decade. Lore brain, Wookipediaism, the Thermian Argument, Cinema Sins-esque, Funko Pop Sunnism (ok, I made up that last one too).
But being the fucking insufferable, over educated losers that we are, we decided the best label was diegetic essentialism. The perfect academia poisoned definition. Exactly descriptive, but so wrapped up in jargon, it can't be understood on its own. So what does it mean?
The diegesis is a work of fiction's "universe." It is the imaginary place where the story is unfolding. There's a joke that's common in movies that explains the concept perfectly. A soundtrack is played over the intro, and when the credits are finished, a character leans over and turns off the radio, cutting the song short. The joke being, you thought it was the film's soundtrack, something the characters can't hear, but it was actually diegetic sound, sound that existed "in that universe." The joke being that there kind of isn't a real difference (hyuk hyuk).
Essentialism just means the only valid thing. To be essentialist is to say that something has an underlying, a priori nature that cannot be denied.
Put em together? It means someone who thinks the only way to analyze, critique, or understand fiction is as though it were real. To the DEckhead (how I'll be referring to the diegetic essentialist from now on), a work of fiction is like a keyhole into an alternate universe as real as ours.
There's nothing inherently wrong with this, it's often how we enjoy something as a consumer. And the DEckhead is nothing if not a consoomer.
While we're watching a movie or reading a book, we allow ourselves to pretend like it's real. It's fun.
But when a normal person returns to reality, they understand that fiction not only isn't real, not only can't be real, but isn't intended to be, beyond the fun of enjoying it.
It is something which is produced by artists, authors, actors. It may or may not have clarity of purpose, themes, intended takeaways, cultural criticisms, etc. It might just be something someone thought was cool.
In a movie like, say, Scott Pilgrim (I know but it's a good example here), when Scott punches someone they burst into coins. This is obviously not intended to be real. In the "universe" of Scott Pilgrim, people are not made of coins, it's just a fun video game reference, an absurdist joke.
But this is true even in something like Superman. When Supe punches someone, he's not really punching someone. The physics of that would be like being impaled by a telephone pole. No, the punch is essentially metaphorical. Evil is defeated by the strength of justice. A punch is the psychologically satisfying, "non violent" way to do that. IRL it actually very easily could kill the petty criminal the same way a knife or a gun could, but it's something our brains can passively accept, it feels right.
This is a critical aspect of media comprehension. Most aspects of a story are thematic. They're not meant to be understood as literally real, but rather meant to evoke the feeling of something real.
The DEckhead does not understand this, or, chooses not to, and gets angry at people who don't follow along. To them, a fictional universe is a consistent, coherent place that exists beyond the boundaries of the text in question. And the only thing you're allowed to do is contribute to "the canon." A term which was literally invented as a joke that is now taken 100% seriously. Welcome to the internet, enjoy your signal decay.
Our sub's eternal enemy, 40klore, is a perfect example of this.
Always are they searching for "evidence" of what something is "really" like, or who would win what fight. You know the type.
Which primarch has the biggest dick? What does Shadowsun eat for breakfast? Questions that, even if an author explicitly spells them out, do not have answers, because they are not real.
Let me give you some other examples to give you an idea how absurd this exercise is:
Does Gandalf have colon cancer? Does Pikachu like dubstep? Did Captain Ahab have imposter syndrome? Hopefully, you're getting the idea. Characters exist to serve a story, they don't have a reality independent of that.
And the only thing that determines what happens next in a story is what an author decides will happen next. That's it. This is true even of historical fiction or works like The Martian, in which the original author went to great lengths to make it as "realistic" as possible. But "Realism" is essentially a genre trapping. It's like a lightsaber color, it's just there to help you enjoy the work. It can't be real.
So here's a great example from the sub that everyone isn't sick to death of, female space marines!
What does the DEckhead say? There can't be female marines because there's no geneseed for them. What does the other DEckhead say? Cawl could totally do it if he did primaris!
These answers are categorically wrong. There were female marines, but they didn't sell as well, and for logistical reasons, they were dropped. Lore was invented to justify this. And it stays that way because the cultivated identity of your marine consumer expects it to stay that way (we will talk about this term later), and would go Gamergate on GW if it changed. GW likes money, and not rocking the boat, so without a compelling reason to blow up their current fanbase, they maintain a piece of fluff so that it's "impossible." ("It's an easy fix! One line of dialogue, thank God we invented the uhh.. You know... Whatever, device.")
This is the only coherent answer. "Lore" reasons are for idiots, and are literally wrong. It's like thinking that Toucan Sam controls what goes into froot loops.
Of course, I'm not saying you can't enjoy fiction on its own terms. But when criticizing it, you must think of it in material terms, as a production made by authors with intent. Lest you fall into this mental trap.
So how is this relevant to us, and why is it bad? Seems straightforward right? Can we be done here?
Well, unfortunately, DE is the tip of a very ugly cultural iceberg. We have a lot to talk about. About late capitalism, about the tendency of the rate of profit to fall, and about how one of capitalism's new frontiers is our brains, and how they've been fully colonized.
Ugh, fuck, like my sister essay, this is way too long. We will break it up with memes and jokes. Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.

Media saturation and the attention economy

Have you noticed recently that there's just, like, way too much shit?
Pick any medium: TV, streaming, books, games, movies, music, fuck, even board and tabletop games.
The production and sale of entertainment products is more voluminous than ever. The sheer quantity of things released, even good things, is so large, that even if it were your full time job, you couldn't keep up with just one of these mediums, let alone multiple.
Sometimes people in the same hobby, that like the same genre, maybe even the same property, won't have anything in common with each other.
It did not used to be this way. For better or for worse, "pop culture" used to mean pretty much everyone had seen something. In 1991, 22 million people watched the season finale of Dallas. Now, something with a 2 million person fanbase is considered strong.
As more and more media is produced, it is competing with an ever shrinking attention span. You literally don't have time for this shit.
What results is an alienated, fractured fan "community," one in which you're forced to seek out other atomized individuals to even know someone who's experienced the same thing as you.
And this problem is only getting worse. With the proliferation of choices, not only is there an ocean of garbage to wade through, but a calculation has to be made whether that thing is even worth experiencing if you'll never even meet someone else who has as well.
Ever scrolled through Netflix for hours and found nothing to watch? Ever paid good money for a game on steam and never once played it? How many books are you planning to eventually read, only to find that by the time you start, they're not relevant anymore?
There used to be a thought experiment in philosophy like this: if you had a superpower where you could make any movie you want, but only you could see it, would you want it?
That's not a thought experiment anymore, it is functionally true.
As a result, very few cultural properties have any lasting impact, and fewer still will even experience them. And so they become shallower as a result. They need to appeal to ever increasing crowds of people but still have nothing to say. How can you make a resonant cultural impact, when the culture is essentially a shattered mirror of little cultivated fandoms? How can you even know how to speak to people? This is, not coincidentally, why every show sounds like Twitter now.

The walled garden, the cultivated consumer identity

Corporations have a term they use, cultivated identity, to describe a marketing and sales strategy for how you break through an environment like this.
Now this part of things I'm not an expert in. A lot of people make a lot of money figuring this shit out. But the outline of it isn't hard to understand.
If you're selling people a product, you're kind of a sucker. The buyer gets to evaluate whether that product is worth their money, and you have to convince them that it is, based on its quality, with consequences involved for lying or falling short.
But what if instead, you could convince someone that the product is part of their identity? You're not a customer, you're a blorbo! And you can't wait for blorb 13, the blorbening!
What does it matter if it's good? A blorbo blorbs. Duh.
Obviously, I made this sound as stupid as possible. And yet, how many people call themselves gamers? Hobbyists? Superfans? YouTubers? Even "nerd" and "leftist" can fall into this category.
This isn't like being a film buff, which has expectations of expertise involved. And it's not like an ordinary fandom or genre appreciator, e.g., a metalhead. This is merely a consumer category. You get in the club by being someone continually buying into something, regardless of quality or expertise.
It's pernicious, and it's a highly effective way to cut through all the noise.
Why buy the next thing? Because it's your identity. You could avoid it, if you wanted. But then you're back to that screaming void of attempting to parse through an ocean of stuff based on its quality, which no one else may even know about. Worse, the more people become like this, the less you can relate to them unless you become the same thing.
How many of you have read all of the Horus Heresy novels, all 60-something of them, even though you can count on your fingers which ones aren't complete dogshit?
I own all the Broken Realms books, and I sit and defend AoS on this sub all the time. Why? That shit is online somewhere for free, and I don't give a shit what redditors think about a game I enjoy playing.
It's because GW colonized our brains. In order to keep you onboard, they want you thinking about Warhammer all the fucking time. They want it to be the only thing you consume.
Have you ever looked at something in real life and said, "hey! That's just like Warhammer!" But no, it obviously isn't. That's their marketing with its hooks in you. That's the brainworm they inserted so you'll keep coming back.
And now that I've mentioned this, you probably see it everywhere. Video games that demand they be the only things you play. Endless manga and anime that never has a satisfactory conclusion. TV or books that go on forever and have spinoffs and sequels and tie ins and etc etc etc.
This differs from just making more content for things that are popular. The goal of these kinds of franchises is to be totaling. Warhammer, in particular, is so impenetrable that you can't know it all (even if it is a mile wide and an inch deep, which is actually intentional.)
Marvel of course is the clear juggernaut here. You could live your entire life in a Marvel bubble, if you wanted to. There's that much content.
Shit, even things like apps have the same strategy. Endlessly consuming your attention, refusing to let you go long past when you're getting any use out of it. How often do you even remember what memes you looked at an hour after you put your phone down?
How do they cast this spell on us? Why does this work?

Competitive identity and fandom

And now we return to D.E., and its role in this.
Real media criticism is like the product comparison we made before. Is this a good fiction? Are its themes coherent? What were the authors trying to say? Were the performances good? Etc etc.
You may notice, these are essentially subjective questions, which are the bane of both capital and the hopeless nerd.
If I judge something as bad, it's not easy to convince me otherwise. So you need to pull the conversation away from that, into something "objective."
Enter diegetic essentialism. The goal here is not to evaluate any substantive question. The goal is to establish canon. Quality and artistic merit are essentially irrelevant. And the author might as well be god himself. Aloof and unknowable.
In a deeply bitter form of irony, many DEckheads actually invoke death of the author as evidence for why a story can only mean what its "canon" implies it means. Symbolism? Allegory? Metaphor? These things don't exist. Only "details." Details established by fan arguments.
In this environment, it becomes very difficult to relate actual media criticism to the cultivated identity DEckhead. It tends to annoy them, or "spoil the fun." You're evaluating quality and artistry? That's not why we're here, bucko.
For you to fit into these properties, and therefore not be lost in the cultural wasteland, you begin to compete to be the biggest "fan." The best lore understander, the most details knower, the most hours logged on, the takes haver.
What becomes important is not actual construction of meaning, talent in performance, or even just having a good time, it's constructing the cultural justification for why it's worth it to stay in this identity.
I know you know what I mean.
How often have you been roped in to an argument about the Tau? How long have you spent memorizing the details of battles that did not happen and aren't even consistent? How many marketing names do you know for troops that have slightly different weapons?
When you're trapped in DE, all you can do is talk about the details. Everyone is in the walled garden. You're not a visitor here, you're trapped.
When we say 40k sucks, what we mean is the vast majority of it is zero effort reactionary garbage. Sure, some of it isn't, but that's the exception.
GW rarely or never credits their authors and artists anymore (their newest paint teacher is hands only lmao). They regularly shit can excellent story ideas if they can't connect to minis sales.
How can this dreck be worth thinking about? It's not just that it isn't real, that's obvious. It's not even really trying.
And yet that won't stop 40klore from furiously discussing the implications of bimchus boltbutt falling to chaos, all one paragraph written about it. And it won't stop someone else from spending two hours digging through wikis (which are like religious monuments dedicated to DE) to "prove" or "disprove" something that was never real and will be overwritten by the next book anyway.
Most of you are subconsciously aware of this. Be honest, when was the last time you really read any of the books? Compare that to how often you read a wiki instead, or, god help us, watched a "loretuber."
It's not your fault, it's because it's bad. It's not worth reading 80% of these things. Your brain rebels against it.
At one point, they existed to help you tell a cool story while you were playing a fun game.
Now? They exist to perpetuate a corporate juggernaut with a 30% profit margin. The game is deliberately designed to be miserable to incentivize new model purchases. And Black Library greases that engine.
Influencers and superfans consume and regurgitate "information" and "lore" to a series of people who've decided they "like" something that they literally don't like.
And you keep up with it because otherwise, you don't get to be in the "fandom." Hilariously, a lot of the arguments people make on here are incorrect even in DEckhead terms. Like it's obvious to someone who has read lore when someone else has not. But accuracy isn't even important to the DEckhead. Not really. Just that it exists to argue about.
And now we come to it. The conclusion that will piss a lot of you off.

""""""""""Leftist"""''"""""" Diegetic Essentialism

Leftist is essentially in this category too. Because it doesn't have a strict, coherent meaning like, say, Marxist-Leninist or Anarcho-Communist.
Despite being nominally anti capitalist, after the honeymoon period of escaping to the left, there is a lingering "what do I do now" that this same market mechanism is happy to latch onto.
"Breadtubers," shitty podcasts, awful electoral politics horseracing, they all fit into this same niche. An endless stream of content to deliberate on, but not act on or organize for.
Worse, since people falsely associate liberalism with the left, and liberals have increasingly become hysterical about the need to "improve" media, rather than improve material conditions, people start using diegetic essentialism to police their own fiction for elements that aren't in it.
How. Many. Fucking. Times. Have you read a thread, on this sub, from people who definitely should know better (and I do not exempt myself one bit) about how X faction is (fascist, capitalist, cringe, based, comrade, etc.) because of some snippet of their lore that clearly no author was trying to communicate, and that the story barely supports?
It's ok if you're just having fun, but we are so far past that point.
Stir made a joke a long time ago about how often the word "anarchy" is used in the Beasts of Chaos and Tzeentch battletomes in Age of Sigmar, and how it would be funny if someone thought that made them anarchist comrades instead of the clearly negative connotation GW puts on the word.
Only that's not a joke, that eventually did happen.
It's ironic that despite how saturated the internet is now with media analysis types with related degrees from universities, media literacy is probably worse than it's ever been.

The takeaway: Thematic/Material Analysis, vs diegetic essentialist problematic interpretations

Fuck, are we at the end yet? Thank God. The tl;dr is almost here.
When you make an argument like "Salamanders are comrades because in this book they did a thing that was nice, and that's like communism, so they're communists," you are doing the leftist version of DE to keep this consumer identity going. It is exactly the same as a shitty 40klore thread (redundant, I know).
It is the "leftist" version of "no female space marines."
Or, not to put this user on blast, but the recent "Chorfs are capitalist?!??" post is another great example. It would be one thing if we could examine the story and see their mode of production and, wow, look, the author included enclosure of the commons and theft of surplus value, I wonder if that was intentional? But no. The argument is "Chorfs are greedy industrialists. Capitalism has greedy industrialists. Chorfs capitalist?!??"
Lost in this kind of nonsense are basic critical questions. E.g., what was the author(s)' intent? What is the value of this criticism? Is this what the story is about, or is there only incidental interpretive evidence?
What's happening here, is leftists are using the Thermian Argument in reverse. They're using DE to say a story objectively has a message that it does not possess, and that no author intended. And, even worse, that even the interpretation is an idiotic stretch. All this to keep the fan content churning.
Do you see how foolish this exercise is? Do you see how the point isn't to critique or analyze or enjoy a work, but to create a competitive context to keep people trapped in these consumer categories?
It would be one thing if, like is the case with Krieg and Space Marines, people were deliberately misinterpreting lore as an endorsement of fascism (using an admittedly lazy and inconsistent framing where they're arguably not wrong). Especially since there's a material effect that misinterpretation(?) has on our lives.
But if we're just arguing about the fucking lore, the answer is that's it's just a bunch of shit designed by Tory adjacent Anglos to sell toys. That's it. Most Warhammer fluff isn't even worth analysis or critique, it's got nothing in it. Even the DEckhead has to scrape the bottom of the barrel most times. Sometimes literal sentences are their only "evidence."
If you want to break out of this hell, you have to start using actual tools of critical media analysis. And absolutely the first step of that is throwing Diegetic Essentialism out the window.
Don't think about lore as real, think of it as decoration for a product, made by tired authors and artists who largely aren't getting any credit.
When you want to have one of these silly takes, ask yourself instead, "what was the person writing this lore trying to accomplish?"
The answer typically, in Warhammer's case, is not much.
This is not to say there's nothing about it to discuss, far from it. We could talk all day about what Warhammer considers normal and what it says about Western values.
But there's no intelligent things to glean from the lore itself.

The tl;dr

There is no canon. The lore is not real. It cannot mean or imply anything not expressed by the authors and artists, or so strongly evident in the assumptions of the story, that it's an inescapable facet of it (e.g. Imperium and fascism).
If you don't want to be a consumer brained moron, stop asking """''factual""""" questions about the lore, and ask instead, "what did the author mean?" "How was this work produced and for what reason?" "Who made it?" "How does it make me feel and what are its themes?" And, most importantly, "is this even good? Is it even worth my time or analysis?"
Otherwise, you're just trapping yourself into a series of pointless arguments to justify your consumption, forever. And you'll be polluting the sub, and dragging everyone else down with you.
Peace, thank you for reading this incredibly stupid essay.