Myself, my wife (in our mid-late 30s) plus a partially completed small human are considering relocating. We're currently near a very well-known college town in New Jersey and are looking for a change of scenery. My job is fully remote and wife's job (once she goes back to work) is highly mobile insofar that she will be able to find good employment in any moderate-to-large city. I apologize for being vague, but for Reasons(TM) we'd be easy to doxx if I went into too many details.
I made posts in different subs a while ago about Maryland and Northern Virginia, which seem to meet many of our wants. In particular, we're looking for family-friendly areas with educated population, good schools, good Asian food and hopefully a decently large Asian (ideally but not necessarily Chinese) minority. Neither of us is from the US so we don't have a ton of knowledge of all possible nice places.
Other areas we considered are Boston and the Research Triangle in NC, but we've never actually visited either (unlike the DC area) so it's hard to have strong opinions. We specifically don't want anywhere too warm or too humid. Everything else equal mild winters are better than super harsh winters, but it's a small factor. Ideally a more progressive than conservative environment would be good.
I have heard mixed opinions about Denver, and Chicago is one of those places where you hear about it but you don't know anyone who actually lives there. We're not particularly interested in California, but are open to being taught otherwise.
The last factor to consider is that given our current income, states that have lower state income taxes would be good. The way math works out for us at this time is that property taxes, sales taxes, etc, are essentially irrelevant compared to income taxes. None of the zero-tax states seem particularly appealing (maybe Washington?), but even a few percentage points of a difference would have an impact.
All possible recommendations or "under no circumstances move there" type of suggestions are welcome!

I'm fairly certain I'm going to be let go because I'm not moving to fulfill my jobs return to office requirements.
I was hired during COVID, and the location of the job is set to CT and not officially remote. They haven't required a move until recently, now that the pandemic is "over".
Due to life things, moving is not an option. Company policy is that they do not allow permanent WFH/remote work, so they will not accommodate me. As a result, I expect to be let go in the very near future.
I am job searching now, but I want to know what filing for unemployment looks like for me, if at all possible, because it's multi-state and a bit weird.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Today I visited my local NOIL and tried a wide variety of mid-tier to high-end used office chairs in good condition. Some of my thoughts on some of those chairs, in no particular order:
For reference: I'm 5'10" 220 lbs, and I consider the SitOnIt Novo and HON Ignition 2.0 to have "average" lumbar support tension.
Friant Tango – I'm impressed!

• The most flexible backrest of all mid-tier office chairs I've tried and it's not even close. Still very supportive for the full back, with slightly stronger than average lumbar support.
  
• Solid-feeling build quality
  
• Nice seat of average firmness
  
• Armrests are slightly hard but have good adjustability
  
• Short maximum seat height = estimated max user height of ~6’2”
  
• According to Friant's website, the seat foam is warranted for only 1 year, but I can tell it is high-quality will last much longer. The rest of the chair has lifetime warranty.
  

Global Tritek Ergo Select – surprisingly good all-around. Canadians rejoice!

• Backrest shape allows for good shoulder posture and full range of arm movement.
  
• Backrest’s ratchet height adjustment has HUGE range. Tall and short people alike can get the lumbar support just where they need it.
  
• Lumbar is tension-adjustable from average to strong.
  
• Multifunction mechanism allows for forward tilt! Great overall adjustability except for limited recline depth.
  
• Solid-feeling build quality
  
• Nice seat of average firmness
  
• Armrests are well-cushioned with great adjustability, but just slightly too forward
  
• A rare good office chair value in Canada? https://officeseating.ca/tritek-ergo-select-standard-seat/
  

Knoll RPM, Steelcase Criterion, and Haworth Improv HE are the trifecta of decent, sturdy old-school ergonomic office chairs.
Steelcase Leap V2 – “huggy” backrest and seat not recommended for those who run hot
Steelcase Amia - weaker than average lumbar support
Steelcase Gesture – armrests are well-padded and have fantastic adjustability range, but move too easily.
Herman Miller Aeron

• God-tier recline smoothness. Like I don’t understand how it can be so smooth. It’s somehow better than the super nice reclines of the Haworth Fern , Zody, Steelcase Karman, and Herman Miller Embody.
  
• Highly restrictive seat design due to the side bolsters.
  
• It is clear why the hard front edge of the seat is problematic for so many users.
  
• Best-cushioned armrests, but positioned too far forward!
  

Herman Miller Embody – cool design but overrated imo

• Very open seat design is fantastic – opposite of the Aeron’s seat
  
• Lumbar support is positioned very low, is more like sacral support.
  
• Backrest flexibility is top-notch but creates a lot of creaks and cracks.
  
• Armrests are well-cushioned with easy adjustability BUT positioned way too far forward!
  

Haworth Zody (classic) and Very – the high-end crowd pleasers

• Zody – slightly more premium, with adjustable lumbar tension range of weaker than average to average tension
  
• Very – slightly less premium with adjustable lumbar tension range of slightly weaker than average to slightly stronger than average
  
• The Very does have true forward tilt! I’ve seen comments here claiming it does not.
  

Humanscale Diffrient Smart

• Lumbar support feels high and can’t be adjusted. The weird recline motion makes it even worse.
  
• The gel seat feels really nice.
  

Humanscale Freedom without headrest

• Without the headrest, the backrest has a HUGE height adjustment range, but it still doesn’t adequately support the center of the lower back.

Allsteel Acuity – solid chair but not recommended for overweight users

• I’ve previously said that I found the Acuity’s seat very firm. This apparently varies. The ones I tested today were of average firmness.
  
• The backrest mesh “hugs” my lower back too much, resulting in more pressure on my sides than on the center of my back; it probably wouldn’t have this effect for users of average weight.
  
• Armrests have good adjustability and feel very solid, but are unfortunately very hard.
  

Knoll Chadwick

• Typical mesh-seat issue of the front edge of the seat frame compressing the thighs.

Knoll Generation - I hate it but I'm not sure why.
Knoll Regeneration - Would be a good value at mid-tier chair prices, but alas...
SitOnIt Torsa - solid mid-tier crowd pleaser with somewhat weaker than average lumbar support tension. Don't pay more than $200 for a used one unless it's practically new.

Responsibilities:

• Answer telephones and respond to inquiries via telephone or email
• Book virtual meeting rooms, set up conference calls and take messages and minutes during meetings
• Perform administrative tasks, including filing and photocopying
• Write emails, memos and letters

Qualifications:

• Female
• College level
• Able to use Microsoft office tools such as word and excel
• Has google meet, zoom, skype or discord

This is a day shift work (part time or full time) that offers a competitive salary here in Bacolod City.
For interested applications. Kindly comment or DM me. Thanks.

I previously got compound semaglutide l through a local med spa but the price was getting insane ($450 a month) so I switched to henrymeds after reading good reviews on here. push health seemed confusing because I didn’t know what pharmacy to put in and who ships to california etc. so henrymeds seemed way more convenient. I just had my first appt today and it was super quick, the PA was very nice. anyway she said it would be a 10 week supply and i’ve only paid $275. not sure if it’ll charge me monthly but so far I’m happy with that price. my insurance won’t cover it. anyway just ranting and can answer ang questions anyone might have about using henrymeds

I was subpoenaed to testify in court as a witness for a criminal case today. However, when I showed up in court, we were told that the public defender issued a short continuance and that we were not going to be on call today. However, I looked online and it says she’s scheduled for a jury trial tomorrow. Is it possible that there will be another continuance tomorrow? Am I expected to be on call tomorrow as well?
I know every case is different but the office is closed for now and I need to figure some stuff out if I do need to go testify tomorrow. I live far away enough that simply being on call and showing up isn’t possible. From your experience, does it seem likely that I will have to go in and testify tomorrow?

You, shmungus, are eating a hamburger on a boat when suddenly, a woman walks up to you. She asks you to help find her child. You told her you would, and she led you to where she last saw her kid. It was the back of the boat. All of a sudden, she pushed you off. You looked for something to grab onto, and you found the anchor. You held on to the chain for dear life. The ship came back to land and you hopped off and swam to shore. People started looking at you strangely. A child walked up to you and asked if you were okay. Offering her hand, the child smiled. You took her hand and she was shining with happiness. Her mom came over and picked her up. The child protested and you heard her say she liked you. You smiled, and sat down on the beach.
Chapter 2: You went to the resturaunt and sat down. A waitress came to your table and you realized that she was the woman who pushed you off the boat. You saw that her name was Kimberly. You decided to order a hamburger and when you finished eating, you exited the resturaunt and called the police. When you explained the situation, they said they'd look into it. Later, you were wandering around the city when you got tired. You had a bit of money. You decide to go to a hotel and rent a room. Later that day, you find out that there is a pool. When you're going down to the pool, you see the girl from the beach and her mom. The girl notices and waves. You wave back. You both go to the pool, and while the girl plays with the other kids, you and her mom begin to talk. You explain that you were walked out on by your wife, who took your son. The woman introduced herself as Kylie, and her daughter's name was Cynthia. The two of you talked about some fun adventures, and you find out that you like her.
Chapter 3: after a few hours of talking, you asked for Kylie's number to stay in touch. To your disbelief, she said yes. You returned to your room, and went to bed. When you woke up, you saw a text message from your son. It says "hey pops. I miss you and am going to a small resturaunt tomorrow. Can we meet?" You went to the resturaunt your son was going to, and you saw him.
Chapter 4: "Hey, champ. How you doing?" You asked. "Good. Finally moved out. Mom desperately wanted to keep me from seeing you but I miss you." Yout son replied "Jeremy, I missed you. Glad you reached out to me." You said. You and Jeremy caught up with eachother. He now has a loving wife who is expecting a baby in 4 months. You smile and look at how much Jeremy's grown. Suddenly, Kylie and Cynthia come in, and notice him. They wave and come to talk. Jeremy flashes you a look, and you shake your head, laughing. The two girls meet Jeremy, and then he goes home to care for his wife. You, Kylie and Cynthia finished eating and walked back to the hotel. It was time for you to be on the move again. You never really had a chance to live somewhere permanently. You accidentally blurted it out and Kylie offered for you to stay at their place. You scratch your neck and smile in embarrasment.
Chapter 5: When the two girls took you to their house, Kylie apologized for it being small. You told her not to be sorry for giving you a place to live. You smile and decide that you are cooking dinner tonight. You went out and bought some groceries, and whipped up some burgers. You, Kylie and Cynthia all dig in. They are joyous with how good it is. It soon became late, and Cynthia was told to get ready for bed. Kylie then asks what led you to wish ashore that day. You decided to tell her that you were pushed off of a boat. Kylie looked at you and you could tell in her gaze that she felt sorry. You told her that she didn't need to be sorry and you were grateful for Cynthia's kindness. You then fell asleep.
Chapter 6: You were having a dream of warmth all around you. No pollution or crime. It was the ideal life. When you woke up, you found Cynthia and Kylie sleeping right next to you. When Kylie woke up, you said good morning and she started apologizing. You said it was okay as long as she slept well. When Cynthia woke up, you decided to make breakfast. Afterwards, you look for a job, and find three to go for. Our of the three choices, you choose to go for welding. After a bit of training and research, you try and get the job, and qualify immediately! You're quite shocked. On your first day of work, you do so well, that the boss wants to promote you! HR doesn't allow it because it's your first day. A week later you get your first pay. You got a good sum of money, and are considering moving out. When you tell Kylie and Cynthia, Cynthia asks you to stay, and Kylie just says it is your choice.
Chapter 7: You decide to stay because of Cynthia asking. You keep making money to help with rent and you look for houses to buy, because the apartment the three of you are staying in is really loud. You find 5 houses. You choose one with two floors, two bedrooms, and three bathrooms. When you, Kylie and Cynthia moved in, you all stared in amazement. It looked magnificent. After exploring and playing around, night rolls around. You claim a bedroom, and Kylie takes the other one. Cynthia asks to go in with you. You tell her that she should accompany Kylie. She nodded and said goodnight, then you slept like a baby.
Chapter 8: The next morning you are working out and Kylie and Cynthia join. You let Cynthia and Kylie join you, and you teach them stuff from when you were a kid learning fighting. You taught them how to punch properly, throw good kicks, and trained their endurance. Weeks go by, and one day, after a workout session, Kylie and Cynthia walk over to you and give you a hug, thanking you for being there and helping them. You hugged them back, smiling. The three of you stood there for three minutes, and when you all let go, everybody smiled. You got a text from Jeremy, and it was a photo of him, his wife, and their first-born son. Beaming with pleasure, you congratulate him and his wife. He then asks if you want to come down.
Chapter 9: When you came to the hospital, you met Jeremy's wife, Amie. She was a sweet girl with a soothing aura. Amie held the baby and you took a look at it. "It's a boy. We named him Drake." Amie said. You picked up the baby gently, and held it in the air. "This baby will be spoiled rotten." You said enthusiastically. Everyone shared a quick laugh. "Mom was here earlier. She never seems to want to meet you." Jeremy said solemnly. "Never mind that Jeremy. You've got your kid and wife to take care of now." You said, hand on Jeremy's back. When you get back home you get a text from a number. It said "hey. If you're alive, head to the alley between the mall and the office building. I know this is the right number, because Jeremy had it on his phone."
Chapter 10 (finale): You go to the alley with a metal pipe and a kitchen knife. A figure in a hood stands at the other end. The figure whipped out a knife of her own and lunged at you. You blocked with the pipe and jabbed the knife out, catching the mask that the silhouette was wearing. The person jumped back, but you went forward again, underhand slashing at the mask. The mask falls and behind it lies your ex-wife's face. She charges at you, screaming. "I should've made sure you were dead when you were on the boat!" She shouted at you. You kicked the knife out of her hands and tried to go for her again, but she pulled out another knife and stabbed you in the shoulder. You wonder if you should pull the knife out and use it. You decide not to pull out the knife. You take your pipe and lunge, but soon you realize that was a mistake. Kimberly (your ex) slashed your left eye and stabbed you with another knife she had hidden. You wobbled forward and she kicked you into the ground. You lay on the ground, staring at Kimberly. She walks toward you, twirling a butterfly knife she lunges, and then something drives into her. Jeremy stands in front of your Kimberly and Kylie and Cynthia drag you back. "Mother or not, I'll hurt you if you hurt someone I love." Jeremy said, glaring. He leapt forward and kicked Kimberly. She dropped the knife and Jeremy picked it up, slashing her tendons so she can't move. "We saw the text." Kylie said. Jeremy knocked Kimberly to the ground and tied her up with a rope and called the police. They came and arrested Kimberly, and you blacked out. (Two years later...) "Honey get up." Kylie said. In the two years after the incident, you and Kylie got married, and were raising Cynthia together. You, Kylie and Cynthia were going to a meeting with Jeremy, Amie and Drake. The six of you asked someone to take a picture, and you put your arm around Kylie and Cynthia, smiling when the camera took the picture. The end.

We have 1 baby and live in a small house (1 bedroom 1 bathroom, we could convert the ‘office’ into a bedroom if needed). We’ve stayed here because the house is totally paid off and we have no bills which is amazing and I can be a SAHM because of this.
But we want to have another baby soon and I don’t know how we’ll fit here. Our LO still sleeps in our bedroom and I was planning on giving him his own room when he turns 1, but it’s not looking possible unless we dig out another egress window to make our basement office another bedroom. If we have another baby, I’m literally not sure where we’d all sleep. We have enough room in our bedroom for another crib, but I wouldn’t want the little one to wake up our toddler.
Does anyone here live in a 1 bedroom house or apartment and have 2 or more kids? How do you make it work?

Here’s the situation:
I have two years of experience as an electrical engineer designing industrial control panels. Current job: Electrical engineer, specifics aren’t really important but it’s been pretty easy going, everyone at the office is super relaxed, and work is very slow paced, great work-life balance, I haven’t had to travel very much my first year (last year) and I honestly have only one complaint about the job: it’s a little too far away. I only have to go into the office 3 days a week, but my drive is 40 miles one way. (About 50 minutes)
New job: Associate Electrical Controls Engineer, very similar to what im already doing, but instead it’s only 17 miles away from home. (Roughly 30 minutes). They also offered me $4k higher than I’m making currently. Benefits, 401k, etc are mostly the same or better. The only issue with this job is that on the listing it says travel is required up to 35%. So if there are 260 work days in a year that is 91 days/year of traveling. So I will be out of town far more than I currently am just to save a money on gas and be getting paid more. (Sort of like a double bonus).
I accepted the new one but haven’t done any onboarding yet and I’m having second thoughts. What if I’m traveling out of town a lot more than my current job? What if I have a lot more responsibilities for only $4k more?

Hi everyone,
As of late, I have dreaded every moment of my job. I work part-time while in school as an office assistant at a doctor’s office making $16/hr.
There have been a few instances with my boss (also the doctor) that have rubbed me the wrong way. I feel taken advantaged of and overworked. The job is severely understaffed and zero work-life balance. Everyday, I’m on constant edge and worried I’ve done something wrong. My boss often finds dumb things to criticize or complain about.
Today was been the tipping point. It was my day off and I was bombarded with calls from my boss regarding misplaced medication that I was being blamed for. Eventually, the medication was found but I didn’t receive any apologies or explanation besides a text saying “Found it. It was on the floor.” I was so stressed and worried that I had somehow lost it or miscounted the amount of medication we received that my body was shaking.
I don’t want to go into work tomorrow because I know my boss ask me to come into his office and I’ll get scolded. A part of me wants to go in and just wait it out until I find another job but another part of me just physically can’t go in. I’ve had enough.
I’m contemplating sending a message tomorrow morning letting my boss now I quit. This is what I’m thinking of sending “Good morning, as of this moment, I formally resign effective immediately. Please make sure I receive payment for any unpaid hours I have worked. Thank you.”
The only thing stopping me is that I will be leaving my coworkers hanging. It’s only four of us right now and one of them is away on vacation. Another one only works on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so I’ll be leaving the third one by herself the other days.
I’m so anxious just thinking about going in. Any advice or words of encouragement are appreciated, thanks.

Basically what the title says but about a year and half ago my aunt passed away in Mexico due to complications with covid.
She held dual citizenship between Mexico and the United States but her death was never reported to the US Embassy and we are only now finding out we had to have done that.
Right now my uncle is the US to have his green card renewed and he brought along my aunt's Mexican death certificate so we can report her death.
When I looked into it though I discovered we basically have to had reported it right away to the US Embassy but that never happened so I'm wondering how we can properly report her death to the appropriate authorities?
There is a social security administration office in our town so I'm wondering if they will be able to help us or what other options do we have to report inside the country a US citizen's death that happened aboard.
Thanks in advance.

Hey everyone. It’s been almost five weeks now since I’ve seen my therapist and for three of those weeks I have been trying to organise an appointment with him. He prefers text to organise appointments so I have been contacting him on there. The first time I messaged he came back with saying he was out of the office and hoped to be back soon. I texted him a week later asking again and he said he wasn’t back yet but hopefully he would be soon. I messaged yet again a week later to ask him to schedule in but this time he hasn’t replied at all. I’m going through a very rough period at the moment and his unavailability is definitely making things worse. Should I be honest and tell him I’m doing poorly and really need to speak with him? I’ve tried to be accomodating and told him I could call but he hasn’t replied. I don’t want to come off as desperate or disrespectful of boundaries but I am just asking for a little clarity on his part. Any advice on what I could say would be greatly appreciated

“James Hype bitch, James Hype bitch. James Hype bitch, James Hype bitch.”
It’s actually sad how often this runs in my mind while at the office.

>**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.** * 100 chrome tabs, a few extensions as well, large excel models and multitasking - could be chrome, excel, large PowerPoint presentations, etc. >**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?** * $500-$550 USD >**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.** * ASAP >**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)** * Case, cpu, gpu, ram, motherboard, power supply, ssd >**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?** * USA and yes to micro center >**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.** * bluetooth kb w/out dongle, logitech mouse. 2x 32up850 monitors >**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?** * open to it but not a requirement >**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)** * nope >**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?** * like mini tax but open to micro atx >**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?** * no, have license >**Extra info or particulars:** Looking to put together a desktop that can handle 100 chrome tabs, a few extensions as well, large excel models and multitasking - could be chrome, excel, large PowerPoint presentations, etc. M1 MacBook Air 8gb ram was actually not bad but can’t stand using it for MS office. Same for my base model M1 Mini. Also have a thinkpad x1 i7-1165g7, 16gb ram, 1tb ssd that’s feels close to being able to handle everything BUT notice a slow down frequently enough. Would like to keep it under $500 Saw a budget build on YouTube using an i3-1300f that seemed promising. Should be a 20-25% bump in power compared to the laptop? Figuring 32gb ram 512gb ssd minimum Driving 2x 32” 4K monitors Wi-Fi Like mini atx form factor but open to micro What do y'all think?

This is a slightly petty thing to be annoyed about. I’m going to law school in the fall and I am signed on for an apartment with 3 other people and we have been looking for a fourth. I’ve been doing all the undertaking for finding the last person and so far I’ve been ghosted twice. I just don’t understand why a courteous no can’t happen instead of leaving me wondering for days, especially when it’s so late in the housing cycle that spots are filling up very quickly and we are more and more likely to be placed with someone random.
As I mentioned before, since it’s getting really late we aren’t being super picky with compatibility as long as the people seem relatively clean/normal. We’re all going to be super busy. The first time I wasn’t super bothered because we had just been messaging back and forth on Facebook and then she stopped answering, but there were some other people I was speaking to so I wasn’t super upset.
The latest instance has really annoyed me though and is the reason i’m venting. The girl spoke to us for about a week, Facetimed, etc. and began the application for the lease. She seemed completely on board, got along really well with us and seemed relieved to have found people so late. I told her to just let me know when her application was done so I could call our apartment building and confirm we’d be placed together, and she said she’d send it in the next morning.
The next day at around 3pm I still hadn’t heard anything from her. I didn’t wanna come off too pushy, but like i mentioned earlier spots are filling up really fast. I just sent her a message asking if she’d applied yet and if not that’s fine since the office didn’t close until later in the day. She didn’t respond for 3-4 days after constant messaging all day before, but it was over the weekend so I figured she might have just been busy or not checked the app I messaged her on. I sent her a quick text asking if there was any updates, and she did not respond for another 4 days but began posting on Instagram (where I sent her my first message) so I’ve taken that as my sign.
To be clear, even after talking for a little while I would be more than okay with a courteous “no thanks, i’ll keep exploring my options” — in no way is she entitled to sign with us especially so quickly. it’s just really frustrating to be in this guessing game (part of me is really hoping she somehow didn’t see my messages and hasn’t thought to reach out lol). It’s also kind of awkward considering our law class is pretty small so I’m definitely going to see her often.
That’s about it. Thanks for making it this far if you somehow did

As the title says I am looking for a budget but quality color laser printer for my office which can print on transparency films. I am not too worried about throughput as I already have enterprise laser printers for normal printing. I just want one for occasional printing on transparency films. Thanks in advance for the inputs.

TW sexual assault, interpersonal violence**
I spent nearly 2 years of my life with a man who subjected me to unspeakably cruel emotional and physical abuse. I stayed. I believed him when he said it was my fault. He is powerful, professionally speaking. It thrills him. I admire his work ethic. I admire his confidence. He is one of the smartest people I have ever met. I believe that anyone who knows him, except the few of us who have lived it, would never believe that he has the capacity to intentionally harm his intimate partners in order to dominate and control them. He is a democrat. He never hit me. I have no evidence.
The first time that he held me down during an argument, pinning me to his couch by my ankles so I could “calm down,” was 12 months before I moved into his home. When he apologized I told him I loved him. I knew long before the first time he pounded on my front door at 2:00 AM screaming “you better let me in” with such force it shook my windows that his former partner had written accounts detailing how he subjected her to physical and sexual violence. I’m embarrassed, mortified really, that I believed his explanation of these events. 10 months before he forced me to have sex with him while I showered as his entire immediate family ate breakfast downstairs, the sex become so rough and so violent that I would often urinate blood after. When my doctor asked me if I was experiencing violence, I said no. She told me she’d be in her office if I decided I wanted to talk to her once I dressed. I know I’m not the only woman who knows what the phrase “I’m sorry you had sex you didn’t want to have” sounds like coming out of his mouth.
It’s been months since he decided to end things and I while I am so ashamed that I spent the last few months begging and pleading to him that I could “be better,” I know (academically) that the psychological warfare he inflicted made it impossible for me to regulate my own emotions. It doesn’t make it any less embarrassing though. My desire to share my story, publicly- or even privately to mutual friends does not come from a desire to ruin his life or his career or the careers of the powerful people in our community/state who hire him. I feel I have an obligation to protect other women, and I’m so afraid that as he becomes more powerful the tactics he will employ to dominate and control his partners by any means necessary will only become more severe and more dangerous.
AITA?