Manual gear shift car. When breaking until fully stopping, or nearly fully stopping, I was taught that you need to step down the gears one by one (or skipping if you're on 5/6) until you are on 2nd gear. If I'm on a downward slope for example, what's stopping me from just releasing into manual from let's say 4th gear, and just only using the brake in order to stop? I know this will take a heavier toll on the brakes in the long run, but I'm asking why this isn't a thing people do. This may be a dumb question, but I'm still learning to drive so asking things like this is better than guessing.
If you need a better explanation of what I'm asking just tell me.
Thanks

I’m from the Midwest (US). I booked a 35 night stay in Barcelona many months ago. 2 days before I’m supposed to fly in from a 3-week stay in London, the host reaches out and says there are plumbing issues and can not host me until 12 days after I was originally booked to be there. I’m forced to change that reservation to 24 days, I have to extend my current stay at $260. I have to book another Airbnb in London at $465. I have to change my flight dates, which adds $205 to the flight cost. I’m refunded $332 for the lost days on my original Barcelona stay. And after a week of communication with customer support where they try to have the host cover my losses and the host refuses, I get them to refund me $264 after I had asked them to cover all of my losses. All in all, I lose roughly $335 on a situation that was completely out of my control. The stress of navigating this in cities I’ve never been to put a big damper on the idea of continuing this DN journey beyond what I have mapped out. I spent January with family in the Midwest, February in Montreal, March and April in Brooklyn, May in London. I now have three more weeks in Barcelona and two back in southern England and then I’m back to the Midwest. I realize that $335 is a relatively small amount to lose, but I worry that this will happen again and cost me even more money. And what if I’m not able to pivot, housing-wise, as gracefully as I did this time? I’ve lost trust in Airbnb (host and company). Is this simply the cost of DNing? Simply the risk you take? Or is this just a random unfortunate situation I ended up in? Are there things I can do in the future to ensure I don’t lose money and end up in safe and secure locations should something go awry with the host? Are there more reliable room rental platforms? Thanks for any guidance you can toss my way.

Everyone dies and there are diff levels of grief. You have someone dying of natural causes. Someone in a horrible accident, but I feel the worst is if someone jumps off a building or shoots themselves in the head because that leaves everyone wondering "what could I have done differently to save them"
So I'm taking the middle ground approach and seeking to die from poor health. Idk if it'll shave 1 year, 10 years, 30 years off my life but for the last 5 years I have drank every day hard liquor. Average over a gallon a week so over 50 gallons of rum a week, for home consumption (not including social events parties etc). Just playing the slow game as I eventually obliterate my liver out of existence. Have had a DNR the whole time so if I collapse or something we're not dealing with the hospital trying to keep me alive.
I don't want to be here but I don't want to disappoint anyone who cares by jumping off a building so here we are with the long term unalive plan. AMA

Not that I think this was SA, but does talk about sex.
I matched with this guy who was coming into town from a neighboring major city. I realized I probably agreed to a hookup and so I messaged him saying I wasn't really interested in that. I'll be real, I'm very inexperienced, kinda asexual idk it's just not how I think, everything goes over my head tbh.
He said that's fine. The day comes he says he wants to meet at this bar downtown. Now... My city has had quite a few shootings. At the bars downtown. Knowing my luck today would be one of those days... Also my city is one of the top cities in the nation for police violence (lol) so I said hey y'know I'm fine if you want a low-key night and you can come over.
Yeah I don't think I knew what I was probably implying.
He said sure, came over. I have 3 pets, 2 cats and a dog. One cat is gone at first sight of people, that's who she is. Second cat is a 17 yr old senile grandma that doesn't care about a damn thing so long as you don't take her spot on the couch. My dog is a puppy who is a bit shy but loves everybody and wants pets.
Yeah my 17 yr old cat looked at him when he came in, hopped off the couch, starting yelling at us, then hid. My puppy wouldn't even get near him, instead sitting on the other side of me the entire time giving major side eye.
Should've trusted their judgment.
I mean, I agreed. I don't fucking know why. He was drinking fucking disgusting alcohol and idk if he threw up somewhere in my apartment or slightly on me or wtf because something smells bad and it's all over my blankets. I took a shower and I think it's on me still.
I want to throw up too.
Uguguguguguh. I made bad decisions.
I have paid laundry downstairs and shits expensive and I think I'm throwing everything I own that he even went near in it. Probably also going to go ahead and shampoo the carpets just in case.

Hello, I’m 21, recently diagnosed autistic and have been learning a lot about autism as a result since September. Before me, no one in my family acknowledged mental disorders and were very ableist.
Context: My young nephew was diagnosed as autistic very young, with PDA. He’s now nearly 10 but has a very troubled home life (one parent is emotionally unavailable and the other is mentally ill. They’ve also separated) He has a younger sister and she appears to be neurotypical. She, however, is becoming a physical and verbal punching bag for my nephew and it breaks my heart how used to it she is already. The family allow his behaviour because they don’t know enough about autism and don’t have the time or energy to learn more about it. The whole situation is very distressing but I don’t have a good relationship with either parent and as I’m not a parent myself they don’t value my opinion on things. I feel helpless and just do my best on the odd occasions I do see them.
The story: We were playing a game and he was being very good and kind for a while. She’s a bit slower as she’s younger and I can see it frustrates him sometimes. Eventually he punches her on the back, hard, and calls her stupid. Despite her not reacting I comfort her and tell him he can’t play anymore because of that. After some back and forth he is adamant that he is still playing, I can’t tell him otherwise and she deserves it because she’s his sister and she’s stupid. I’m doing my best to calmly, but assertively teach him morals and the importance of not being violent without any aggression. I hope some of it went in but in the moment he was certainly holding his pride.
I took her inside to play and he followed us wherever we went. When I thought he was playing with his dad we snuck off upstairs to finish the game and I barricaded the door just incase he came up.
Well, he did. And this is where I don’t know if I did more harm than I did good. He kept trying the door for ages, demanding I let him in. We continued the game, completely ignoring him. In the moment, I just wanted to give her my full attention. She always gets overlooked because he is more direct in his attention seeking (I don’t mean that badly, all children need attention) so I wanted some time with her undisturbed so she knew she was worthy of undivided attention. However he was getting increasingly distressed outside and I was incredibly torn on what to do.
After what felt like 15/20 minutes his dad finally came up in which he was apparently extremely rageful and biting, head butting and punching him. He got bundled into the car to calm down but yelled at me that he hated me and I’m stupid when I came outside with his sister.
Now, please if I handled this terribly I’d really appreciate being told in a nice way. I already feel terrible because the last thing I want to do is make things worse for either of them and I want to be a safe space for him in our difficult family system. I’m only young myself and trying my best but I need to know if I made mistakes so I can do better in the future.

I can't believe I'm writing this, but I am hoping that just getting it somewhere else other than my mind might be helpful.
In my early 20s, I was in a very abusive relationship and survived being raped by an acquaintance. The better part of the next decade was my life unraveling in every way a person could fathom. I didn't want to live. I gave up on everything, especially myself. I quit living and was essentially, a shell of a human being.
Over time, therapy, doctors, and the power of science and sheer stubborn spite? I was able to build a life for myself. It...is not always ideal, I still have trauma that I may never be able to fully heal from and depression along with anxiety still have huge places in my life, though I can handle it better now.
But, with each year that passes, I struggle the most near my birthday. I realize I essentially lost a decade of my life. Sure, I have overcome so, so, so much. But I hate that there's an entire ten years basically, that feels lost. It feels stolen. I know I could never get those years back and thinking about it really isn't doing me any favors. However, invasive thoughts are just that, invasive.
I wish I could make some kind of peace with myself about this very particular thing instead of struggling the closer it gets to my birthday every year and wishing so badly I could get those years back, turn the age dial back. Not the experience in life, but the number itself. I don't understand why I struggle so profoundly with this, but I do.
Mentally, some days I feel ancient as can be. Others I feel like time stopped emotionally around when I was raped. I have tried everything in the book to overcome and manage these feelings, but here I am, on Reddit after a night of insomnia running the show and now wishing vampirism was legit, because man, I'd be a pretty awesome immortal (Hey, gotta try to find the humor where I can, right). 🤣
All while telling strangers getting older physically while feeling stuck mentally crushes me for reasons I don't even understand.
Who knows maybe I'm not alone.

(Sorry for my poor english) Hi! I'm a 17 years old girl with body dysmorphia and I want to learn how to dance. I'm an amateur filmmaker and I recently saw the film "Dear Diary" by Nanni Moretti and this line hit me: "I always wanted to learn how to dance, [...], I've always reduced myself to watch other dancing, that is nice, too, but it's a completely different thing".
That was so relatable. Every time someone invites me at a party, I am the only one that's not dancing, not because I don't want to, but because I have zero confidence with my body. I've been to my friend's birthday, and everyone had to dance in a huge hall filled with mirrors. Mirrors are the things that terrorises me most, and while everyone was dancing, I was at the corner trying to find a point where I couldn't see my reflection on one of the mirrors.
When I'm home alone, without mirrors or reflecting surfaces, I often dance a little bit to the music I listen. I want to learn how to dance but I would die in those dancing school's halls filled with mirrors and teachers that judges your body. (Especially in Italy, where the dancing schools' teachers are known for their behaviour towards insicure people)
I write here to have some advices on how to start to have confidence in learning how to dance not only alone or in front of mirrors, but with people too. Youtube channels or videos are appreciated. Thank you.

I currently have a ssx23 and I'm realising it was a bad purchase as it is causing me near constant feeding issues. So I'm looking for a new pistol; something quiet and one I can stick a suppressor on. Any good ideas?

Im 18 and i swore to never drink or do any type of drugs and I am clean actually. Never touched any of it even once. I still go out to parties and hang outs but I just dont drink and it was fine. One thing I struggle at i getting girls. Each step of it. From talking to girls at a club, which has gotten a little bit better, to keeping her interested while texting and then, as a young man living with his parents and not too much money, how to take em on dates. I overthink all of that and i feel like if i start drinking at clubs, im going to get better at being with girls. Everyone says having a lot of girls isnt that cool but they can say it because they could if they wanted to. I actually look pretty decent, i dont think looks is the problem, its me.

I am a female aged 67. About three weeks ago i noticed a lump near my naval. It seemed to just appear all of a sudden. It’s not visible but can be felt when standing. I went to the doctor the next day and he said it’s the beginning of a umbilical hernia. My naval is not protruding and I’m not in any pain. He told me to he wasn’t recommending any treatment for now and to come back if I have pain or the lump starts growing. I had a colon resection a year and a half ago and this lump is close to the incision. Is this wait and see treatment the usual approach? If I need surgery to repair this it seems like sooner would be better. I would think he would at least send me for a CT scan to get a better idea of what’s going on. Any thoughts?

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I championed your cause and gladly turned my back on my only friends. They weren’t great people to begin with. But the two women we both agreed were toxic and effed up…you have invited back into your life. One who bullied me and threatened my life repeatedly and the other who broke your heart and slandered you viciously? I still have the police reports ready to file on them if need be.
Please give me closure. Is it fair for you to be friendly with them, yet shut me out completely? I just wanted a little of that most precious commodity - time. Please, please don’t keep me locked out. Please, one email or discord to patch it up better? I am so sorry for how it ended. It was my mistake to contact your friend when you went away. There were things I said to him in private while I was curled up in the darkest pit. When I was terrified that you left me pregnant. When I couldn’t sleep for days, throwing up and unable to talk to you? Looking up clinics and agencies and wtf was I going to do? When I couldn’t hide my grief and tears from my son getting ready for school every day? Because I miss(ed) you, and it felt like I was jilted and none of our love was real. I just wanted a minute of your time and soothing voice. A bread crumb. I apologized and begged you to unblock me. I said I would show you everything your friend and I said. And I didn’t know he was doing the crazy threats to you. I knew he was really mad. And I was too, but I was 10% mad, 90% sad. How are you doing? How do you feel?
Please dm me on discord. I need to move on from this. I’m shooting fvcking shields. Let me love you as a friend. The way it was before. I’m able to make your blanket now. It will be therapeutic. It is yours if you want it. When it’s finished, I can use a third party shipping service, so I won’t know your address. I respect your choices and respect you as a person.
I’m so sorry that I hurt you. Baby, please forgive me for doing what you asked me not to do. DM me? It isn’t as bad as what you think. I will tell you whatever you want to know. I’ve been talking to one of them, too. One of the effed up women. I’m an open book in front of you. Everyone just wants you to be happy and successful. Especially me. xoxo

Hello,
Please could I have some advce?
I have noticed a gap in the sealant of my plastic bathtub and am preparing to reseal it. The gap is only on the righthand side of the taps. The gap gets wider when I'm in a full bath.
I popped the side panels off and raised the right leg near the taps about 1.5mm (see the picture with the original height marked in red pen)
PICS: https://imgur.com/gallery/DUnCbKX
I have attached pics of the gap after raising the leg with and without a full bat (plus person). I belive the gap is improved.
Is this a sufficient fix or is the gap still too big for me to be sealing over?
Am I safe to just raise 1 leg like this or should I be doing something else?
Any advice or comments are appreciated. I am a novice DIYer with a few home repairs under my belt but a lot to learn. Ive never resealed anything or worked with baths before.
The bathroom is about 2-3 years old, we had it put in but the installers were about a 6.5/10.
Many thanks
Location: North East, United Kingdom. House is about 1930s constructon.

[TLDR at the end] i have no idea how it all works but im looking for a new place to live as my current landlord is selling the house, i cant really get a mortgage yet (at least a year maybe 2 before im ready) but while looking at rentals i saw a mobile home for sale, it was £30k and looked nicer than a lot of the houses ive been looking at renting at £600 a month plus, ideally i want to stay in the area so i can still walk to work but not many places come up round here for rent in general and when they do theyre often pricey and much larger than i need.
so i started looking at others out of curiosity and then noticed the log cabins many of which are like very nice little houses and can be had for about £15k obviously you have to build it and kit it out etc but even adding the extra for that which can be done over time its cheap i also know professional plumbers, electricians and a few other tradesmen to help. while i cant get a mortgage i could likely do that much across a few credit cards and just do extra on my side hustle to get it paid off instead of renting, theres plenty of space, a bathroom, a kitchen, pretty much all i need really. the only problem, where to put it?
now my mum has finished paying her mortgage on what was a council house with quite a large back garden which could easily accommodate such a cabin and lives in the area (id ask to buy some of the garden or pay her rent but i know she wont accept it) so are there any legal issues with me living in one of these things? is planning permission needed? (L8.5m x W3.5m x H2.9m) would it alter the council tax band or anything? (my sister also lives there so she doesnt get single person discount etc)
the house did used to be 3 bedroom but was converted to 2 bed, also about 10 years ago planning was granted for an extension that never got done (so i assume if its needed it could be gotten but i think it was a grand or two back then) it seems like a pretty easy way for me to sort of cheat the system and build my credit rating and deposit savings for a few years while the bad things drop off my credit record, im thinking there must be some sort of catch here? what am i missing?
[TLDR] can i legally build and live in an L8.5m x W3.5m x H2.9m log cabin in my parents garden?

I wanna try DMT, but everyone that has “done it” that i know says “no you don’t” maybe they think i want to use it to party, but i want to use DMT to try and learn something or fix something, weather its about myself, something in this world or something in the DMT plane. IDK, personally i think dmt will find me when im ready, what do you think?

I keep trying to block STIMPY_StimpsonJCat, but it won't let me! And I thought 3rd-party apps would allow you to block people once and for all when the official app won't cut it!

I’m 30M and my GF is 28F. We’ve been together for 2.5 years now and have lived together in a New Build rented flat for nearly 1.5 years. Before we moved here, she’s always been saying that she’s always wanted to part buy and part rent. We nearly ended up buying a house together after just 9 months of being together. All my friends and family said do not do it as it’s way too soon and too rushed. So I told her I think we should rent first and see how the relationship goes.
She listened to me and now we’ve been renting for 1.5 years. The terms of our flat is, we have to either move out by the end of the 5 years, or buy a share of anywhere between 25%-75%.
She’s currently going through a bad migraine issue and she’s been given a sick note to work part time instead of full time for 3 months. She’s so far done this and is happy working 3 days a week and wants to stick with it.
Now she’s wanting to rush to buy 25% of the flat because she says once she goes to part time, her pay slips will show less earnings and she won’t be able to buy. Plus she also says we are wasting money every month paying for rent when we could be putting that on the mortgage.
My problem is, I want to buy my mums council flat because they’re giving a huge discount of £127k as me and my mum have been living there for more than 20 years. Only issue is I’d get that discount after having it for at least 5 years. And with both flats, I can’t be a current homeowner, so I can only buy one.
My priority is to buy my mums flat, so after 5 years, I can make that £127k when I sell it. My GF doesn’t seem to want me to buy it as she says she also wants stability and wants me to buy our flat with her. Also because she’ll be going part time soon. And she knows I can’t buy both at once.
I’ve told her maybe she has to buy the flat herself but it seems unlikely that they’d give it to just her as she isn’t earning enough. After discussing with her, she knows she can’t get a big mortgage by herself so she sort of is pressuring to do it with me, even though I’ve been told to never buy with someone unless married. I still plan to buy my mums flat.
Today, she just spoke with her mum about it and her mum suggested they buy a house together to fix up, then sell on. My GF asked if I’ll be okay with that. A day before, I spoke with my mum about the issue, and asked if she could help me buy her flat, and help pay for the mortgage every month.
Difference is, my GF’s mum earns a lot of money. If they did buy together, my GF would probably pay 25% of it, and her mum pays 75% of both deposit and monthly mortgage payments. With my mums flat, it’s the other way around - I’ll pay 75%, she’ll pay 25% as she doesn’t work.
Is this a problem if this was to happen? Would it affect our relationship? She’s always wanted to do things with me but she thinks I’m letting her down now and she still wants a future with me, so she’s trying to find ways to buy a house anywhere before she goes part time and because she hates wasting money renting.

Received an email this morning saying my account has been banned for cheating. I've been playing FIFA for 10+ years and never experienced this issue, last night I played my FUT champs matches and ~70% of my opponents quit against me, I've got nearly 2000 games played this FIFA and finish minimum rank 3 in FUT champs. The only out of the ordinary thing I've done this past week is spend 2mil+ on gold players for the upgrade SBCs. I've never used cheats and the only reason I can think of me being banned is because my opponents quit out against me after going a few goals down. Already submitted my appeal and waiting for my response, but this is ridiculous.

In many areas of the game, it can be extremely difficult to obtain location/map-context information while not actively staring at the full-screen world map. The map is mostly monochrome blobs with binary information; traversable or not. The mini-map also often feels claustrophobic.
I do appreciate the desire to create a desperate/personal/survival experience by limiting this type of information to a point/distance from the player but we're starved for info here. I haven't directly compared the amount of information conveyed by the mini-map in D3 but I hardly ever struggled there - it wasn't great but it was enough to not drive me mad.
Nearly all the directional information we get from the map is based entirely on PoI icons. While we're away from any icons on the map, the mini-map becomes practically useless.
The only compensation Blizz added for the reduction in information compared to D3 (dimming the environment/vignette/color-palette etc.) is the auto-pathing waypoint. It works for medium-long journeys but isn't useful for momentary decisions and is still hampered by having to set it in the full-screen map.
There's excellent contextual information in the portions of map that transition from one color to the next, based on ground color (snow/dirt/red sand etc.). Sadly that information only exists at the transition and there aren't that many in the world.
However it's accomplished, the solution should provide the player with quickly recognizable awareness of their location in the world, simultaneously on large (zone) and small (path/route) scales.

Solutions

I believe it would go far enough, without upsetting any players, to negate the problem by "simply" (expertly) improving the map texture. If the colotexture/appearance of the map could provide more contextual information it would improve every situation. The mini-map would be far more useful relative to the full-screen map.
The first idea that comes to mind is utilizing the negative space on the map to provide more context without affecting the area we travel through. There are dozens of simple ways to do this and perhaps combining multiple techniques would provide substantial awareness. I'll go over some methods now.
The negative space must never be confused with the positive, so it can't simply be the texture of the environment or it would all blend together. Perhaps simply using additional colors/gradients to convey relative zone coordinates/portions, similar to the snow/dirt transition.
You could also try conveying general x/y coordinates using colors/icons to recognize at a glance along the bordeperimeter of the mini-map. It's hard to imagine how accurate/useful this would be overall.
I also hold the opinion overlay maps detract from the overall game by redirecting focus from the game world to the map for easy recognition/efficiency. This behavior effectively turns it into a 2-dimensional game with a dot (you) running between the lines. I'd much rather be navigating and appreciating the artful environment/enemies, while tracking threats more carefully. Despite that, I'd prefer overlay maps to the emergent behavior of spamming the map button between actions, sometimes 3-6 times in a few seconds. Hopefully, overlays aren't necessary.

Anecdotes and additional considerations

With enough movement speed in D3, (combined with the lack of fear of dying on the given difficulty) I always resorted to staring directly at the mini-map which provides less information than the game world but at a much greater distance from the character (?double?). This turned D3 into a monochrome 2-D game of avoiding walls and finding doors, at a fraction of the screen space. I rarely played this way, relative to my total play time, but It was certainly faster and more efficient. This should be avoided but it's not necessarily bad if it happens at the extremes - preferentially less often than D3 and others. The world map flickering meta is a horrible experience. Players didn't need to check so frequently in D3 because the cartoonish lighting and tile-sets were easier to navigate. Fans cried for darkness and now we can't read where to go on the fly. It's all the more irritating that opening the map prevents character movements/actions, sometimes resulting in truly jarring stutter-step behavior, especially while approaching forks in paths. It's harmful to the experience but also intentional behavior compensating for rudimentary navigational tools.
I was disgusted by this experience when I played during the server slam but didn't spend the time evaluating why it was so offensive to me until today. All the early-access players I've seen, behave the same way and I've heard the same complaint repeatedly. Perhaps the first time I heard it vaguely referenced by someone other than myself, was in Rhykker's review. He acknowledged that he relied on opening the world map considerably more than in D3 and he speculated it could be a result of the mini-map being smaller.
Without giving my opinion on the level of effort that went in to the current map texture, *cough*, I do wager Blizzard created dozens of iterations of map textures. They might even already have one that accomplishes everything I described but instead they implemented the most minimal one they could agree upon to avoid overstimulating/confusing new players, particularly because almost everyone is currently a new player. It's generally the Blizzard way, to start low and offer more in reaction.
3rd-party modders are probably trying everything they can to replace/add maps/navigation functions and Blizzard might just unofficially let them handle it. However, anyone who's familiar with D3 modding already knows where that leads... It's not very competition-friendly to say the least.
I still haven't heard anyone discuss why this behavioexperience is emerging through play so I figured I'd suggest myself. There are many more important aspects of the game to improve in my opinion but there's a disturbing lack of awareness about this issue everywhere I look. Even if nothing I've typed accomplishes change, at least someone in the community will have gained an understanding.

Id been dating this girl for nearly a year. A couple of months after we started dating it was her birthday I sent flowers to her workplace on her birthday as a nice surprise and took her for dinner a few days later where I presented her with a gift that she had mentioned on her twitter feed that she liked.
My birthday was nearly 8 months later and we’d had some ups and downs but I’d gotten her a bag for Christmas and was always generous when we went out paying mostly for meals and drinks. Although we did split other means too.
I would also add that we had an argument about gestures whereby I was being taken to a very fancy restaurant for work. Few days before the dinner she kept sending me messages saying that it would be a good gesture if I took her along or had food sent over for her. I knew she was joking but she kept going on about it until I snapped and told her that gestures work both ways… she still didn’t get it and made a joke saying something like it’s thumb wars. I sent her a voice mail saying look I know you’re just joking but you literally went to Paris a month ago and didn’t bring me anything back despite me saying that I loved French wine. She bought the cheapest bottle she could find for 8-10 euros (her words) for us to share…
She apologised and we made up. But what made me upset was that she didn’t just get it and apologise she made it about her which she has done in the past. Prior to that she had messaged me saying that she’d watched a tv show about working in finance which is what I do. I sent her a funny video of me receiving an award and an old report I’d written to give her context about what I do given she was interested. She didn’t respond even just to say thanks I’ll take a look or whatever. Couple of days go by it was the weekend so I left it. Monday morning I sent her a message saying hello everything ok? She responded but didn’t mention my message regarding the video or report.
I sent her a voice message on WhatsApp telling her I was upset at her non response to my earlier message. She responded by saying that she’s rubbish at communication and emotion and apologising saying that she was waiting to come back regarding the video and report as she didn’t know what to say. This maybe should have been a red flag for my birthday…
So I was planning to go away for my birthday with friends but then didn’t and my gf asked if she could take me to dinner.
She was away the week before in Greece seeing her dad but we had agreed a date for my birthday diner not on the day itself but towards the end of that week.
Day of my birthday she texts me at noon all of my friends and family had texted or called earlier.. to say happy birthday can I book the restaurant now. I was a bit surprised she hadn’t done it earlier but ok.
Day of my Birthday we meet for dinner no card or present but she did pay for dinner. Couple of days later she’s like she would like to surprise me with some new lingerie and asked me what I liked. I’m like whatever you like but she insisted that I give her some options - sent her some and said should I get it for you? She was like yes. Few days later after discussing with some friends I asked why no card on my birthday.
She told me she didn’t think she had to as she was meeting me after my birthday and that she never does blow out dinners like this so I should be lucky. We been out for dinner before so didn’t get this…- subsequent arguments about this and fact I’ve brought her lingerie she finally mentioned that she doesn’t do gifts as she thinks their tokenistic but she does experiences instead. For me dinner on someone’s birthday is a low bar… she told me I should draw a line and she’d do better next time but thanked me for letting her know…
This is something I couldn’t get over and while she offered to return the lingerie we continued to have massive arguments where she finally told me I need to just draw a line under it.
I think my gf likes receiving gifts more than she likes giving them. Should I dump her or try again to explain why I’m hurt?