From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.

From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
TL;DR: We're both 32. She escaped a miserable marriage in a foreign country (Turkey) and we met half a year afterwards, falling completely in love with each other, speeding past each relationship step until we were in each other's arms and seeing one another every single week, for eight months. I was under the impression this whole time that she'd be going to Turkey to divorce, yet four patient months after she left... I find out she's staying, for religious reasons, and possibly the pressure of her parents. I have never felt so betrayed and used, by someone I thought truly loved me, for the first time. There is still reason to believe she isn't doing this entirely of her own choice, because I get the strong sense she has no love for this man—who is a conniving manipulator who acts like he has morality on his side all because of religion—and her own parents have shown themselves to be suffocatingly overbearing and controlling.

I might have to explain some stuff about myself to clear any potential confusions you may have, so do please read till the end.
​
General Info

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: Asian
• Residence: Asia (though I am a US citizen by birth so I think that would make me a domestic applicant? idk)
• Income Bracket: $100k/$200k+
• Type of School: private + competitive (one of the best in the city where I live) It only offers the British high school curriculum (Cambridge O and A levels).
• Intended major: Biology/Biological sciences (I plan to stay on the pre-medicine track)
• Note: I did apply to some combined BS/MDs (combined bachelors and med school programs) which guarantees you a spot in medical school unless you maintain your GPA and other stuff in undergrad. I'm not sure if I was even eligible to be considered in it because only one of the programs mentioned about details for selection criteria of oversea US applicants while the others weren't specific about this. (Only US citizens can apply to these type of programs)
• GPA: N/A (my school doesn't do GPAs, but I was able to calculate it on my own and came out at around 3.7-3.8 though I'm not entirely sure if it this accurate. In general, I did have straight A results for the past three years after a rocky start at high school.)
• Academic honors: distinction in my Biology O level examinations (top in the country) and first position in my school's Biology A level first year examinations (mocks + midterms exams)
• Standardized testing scores (SAT): 1450 (790 M, 660 RW)

Activities/Extracurriculars:

• Took part in multiple MUNs (did get some small personal awards and was the marketing director for my school's MUN event once)
• participated in my school's community service society. (We would invite children from a nearby underprivileged community and do many activities with them)
• took part in a special internship and observer ship program at one of the best medical schools in my city (I collaborated with the medical school's community medicine society and was able to learn & discuss about various topics, attended lectures and was able to get a glimpse of medical school life. This lasted a few weeks and was really fun :))
• took part in a community outreach program at the same medical school (coincidentally it happened during my internship and observer ship. It was more of a community service activity)
• was part of my school's science society and our team once won runner up position at a local Olympiad (didn't get to participate too much in it though)

Letters of Recommendations:

• Chemistry teacher: 9/10, he is honestly my favorite teacher. Since the start of my A-Levels he really motivated me a lot to do my best and I was able to strive in Chemistry under him (even though he spoke more in the local language here which I don't really understand very well). I was also among his personal favorite students in class and while I did not get to see what he wrote, I bet it was great. I still of course have to work hard for my A-Level CAIEs now and maintain my consistency in the subject.
• Biology Teacher: 7/10, he did not really know how to write it, so I sort of had to give him a rough draft but at the same time I was busy with my assessments and other things that I feel that I could've given him a better draft lol.
• Internship/Observer ship supervisor: 9/10, I had a good relationship with him and was able to work on so many things with him and his department. I am really glad he took out the time to write it out as he was really busy at the time :)

Essays

• 8/10: I wrote about my motivation of doing medicine which came through by seeing the poverty and poor healthcare infrastructure in the country where I'm residing in. My parents and counsellors liked it, but I think it was a bit too general....
• 7/10: I had A LOT of supplements to prepare, especially for the BS/MD programs. They were not too bad but not too good either as most of them were aimed at my extracurriculars which was honestly one of my weaknesses in my application....

Interviews
With the one and only WashU and I took my chance. I would give it a 7/10 as I feel like I could've asked more questions as my interviewer led the conversation more than I did.
Decisions (RD/EA/ED/Rolling)

• University of Missouri-Columbia (Mizzou): Rolling - accepted and awarded with $22.5k scholarship.
• University of Missouri-Kansas City (umkc): RD - rejected by BS/MD program but accepted to regular undergrad.
• Maryville University of St. Louis - Rolling: accepted and awarded with 14k scholarship.
• Siena College: RD - rejected by BS/MD program but accepted to regular undergrad.
• University of Iowa: EA - accepted (scholarship yet to be specified)
• University of Pittsburgh: Rolling - waitlisted
• WashU St. Louis: RD - Rejected (this hurt me the most as my dad did his post graduate fellowship from here)
• John Hopkins: ED - Rejected (Didn't expect to get in anyways lmao)
• Case Western University: EA - deferred and then waitlisted after going into RD.
• NYU NYC (main campus): RD - Rejected literally just one hour ago lol while I'm writing this post (depressed though)
• IUPUI (Indiana University Purdue University Indianapolis): rolling - accepted.
• Stony Brook University: RD - Accepted (might have a scholarship didn't check yet)
• University of Connecticut: RD - Rejected by BS/MD but was surprisingly accepted to undergrad with 19k scholarship. (Though it's still really expensive)
• St. Bonaventure University: RD - Rejected by the BS/MD program.

Waiting on: Duke, Yale (no hopes for these two in a realistic sense) and Saint Louis University (maybe might have a chance on this one)
Personal things to add:
So, I am from the United States but had to move to Asia a couple of years ago due to personal family circumstances. But the thing is that I've never felt adapted to the new environment and people here. It was and is honestly tough to make friends and develop connections here as I'm not too fluent in the local language either. This is the main reason that I feel like made my high school journey was quite turbulent. During my first two years I was a below average student in terms of grades (with a lot Bs and Cs) and found it hard to motivate myself to do more in extracurriculars. While the pandemic helped me change my academic strategies and perform much better in the remaining three years of high school, I just didn't put in the effort in my extracurriculars (which was due to the different environment and type of people here and the fear of not being to balance it out with my academics as I did not want to take any chances if my grades fell again).
You may also be wondering why I applied to some of the T25/T50 colleges too. Well, honestly, I only wanted to apply to Yale and Johns Hopkins (based on my personal interest even though I never stood a chance) but my parents kind of pushed me to apply to other top colleges too (as they thought I would have a good shot since I come from a pretty complicated Asian background and other stuff) But even despite that I feel like I should've gone test optional for these top colleges as the medians were clearly higher than 1450. However, my counsellor continued to persuade me to send them to these top colleges as it would make me a better applicant than those who did not submit (idk if that's true lol). I should've known better tbh as I was pretty clueless about this. But my extracurriculars were pretty weak too.
I plan to do medicine and now that I have some acceptances at some middle tier to average schools, I'll have to decide soon. I also have the option of doing medicine from the Asian country where I'm currently residing in (which unlike the US does not require any undergrad prior to med school and you can directly matriculate after completing high school). It also takes 5 years (vs 8 years in the USA) and is much cheaper too. But because of my experiences here in middle school and high school outside the classroom and realms of academics and with the lack of connections and issues I've faced, I'm kind of unsure if I want to even consider it here as med school life is really challenging.
Anyways, I've just always wanted to go back to the United States to not only do medicine but also to bring a change in myself both personally and for my family after living here in Asia and now I have the chance to do so (even though it might be a bit more expensive). I feel like I had the potential to do so much better, but I feel my personal circumstances really brought me down. I apologize if this all felt too personal and came across as being cringey and ungrateful. It's just that this has all been over my head for the past few months and did not have anyone other than my parents to discuss this with as I don't really have any close friends here and I thought this would be a great opportunity to share this with you all on this subreddit page which is mostly full of people with 1500+ SAT scores, perfect GPAs and stellar ECs (no hate to them though, they are honestly pretty motivating to me Haha).
I would appreciate any feedback from y'all!
Thank you and good luck with your applications everyone :))

From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.

From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life. She'd say she'd never felt as alive, happy, and free as she was with me; that I was her favorite person. I definitely felt the same about her.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.

I’ll start.
Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon? More like “holy crap I wish I had gotten the last bus back out of the station before going on this rich girl’s treasure hunting role play scenario”. Like Damn, you wanna recreate the old western times by lounging around on a couch all day then you can just put on “Gunsmoke” reruns or something.
Not only that, the entire game’s plot hinges on a cheeseburger. Not even joking. And no it is most certainly not charming and funny in the moment, no sir.
You are imprisoned in a metal death trap that can’t even apply the goddamn brakes without falling off the damn tracks, like what engineers did Lori hire to refit this thing? And why did none of them solve the pipe connection puzzles and make the train’s steam system work while doing so? Also hold the Damn phone (to the engine) you need more than one crew member to run an operating passenger train.
While in this death trap, there is no one to interact with except an author with terrible social memory, a paranormal con artist, the aforementioned rich girl, and a cop who accidentally rear-ended some robbers and swelled his head by 5X. Just kill me now.
Worst of all, the moral of the story is “friendship is the greatest treasure”. I have the sudden urge to vomit.
Oh and the Hardy Boys are there too I guess. Except even that is a let down, with Joe not knowing who Mark Twain is like a total scrub, and Frank….actually he’s cool but flashbacks to Creature of Kapu Cave still haunt me. Anyways, they barely matter as Nancy rips apart the entire train while they take hours and hours to find the source of a picture, over-shining their detective skills so hard that they only rarely appear in the rest of the series due to pure shame knowing how this girl one of them has a crush on just kicked their butts.
All in all a totally trash game.
10/10 easy.

Notes:

• I am EXTREMELY busy, but I check my messages and DMs at least ONCE per day. Please be patient and wait at least 24 hours for my response if I don't get back to you immediately.
  
• I buy only in Unrevealed Key Link Format or Plain Steam Keys. No gift links.
  
• For PayPal, I am in the US region and I only send via G&S. Please note there will be PayPal fees (including international/conversion and purchasing fees) to consider.
  
• All games that you sell to me should ideally be REGION-FREE. Please ensure the games are not region-locked/bound to a specific country.
  
• You must be willing to fill a spreadsheet with steam keys.
  

 
I pay with the following:
TF2 & PayPal
 

I BUY HB Games	with TF2	with PayPal	Currently Active Humble Bundle?
- Ratz Instagib -	0.8 TF2	$1.7 PP	-
20XX	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel	2.4 TF2	$5.14 PP	-
60 Parsecs!	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
7 Billion Humans	1.4 TF2	$2.9 PP	-
7 Days to Die	1.0 TF2	$2.1 PP	-
A Game of Thrones: The Board Game - Digital Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.42 PP	-
A Juggler's Tale	0.5 TF2	$1.06 PP	-
A Plague Tale: Innocence	1.4 TF2	$3.04 PP	-
AMID EVIL	0.5 TF2	$1.17 PP	-
AO Tennis 2	0.7 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
Absolver	0.8 TF2	$1.71 PP	-
Age of Empires Definitive Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.97 PP	-
Age of Wonders III Collection	0.9 TF2	$1.84 PP	-
Age of Wonders: Planetfall - Deluxe Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Age of Wonders: Planetfall	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Airport CEO	1.0 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Alan Wake Collector's Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.65 PP	-
Alien: Isolation	1.6 TF2	$3.45 PP	-
Aliens: Colonial Marines Collection	1.2 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
Among Us	1.4 TF2	$3.02 PP	-
Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey	2.0 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
Aragami	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Arizona Sunshine	2.0 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
Arma 3 Apex Edition	1.5 TF2	$3.3 PP	-
Arma 3 Contact Edition	2.3 TF2	$4.89 PP	-
Arma 3 Jets	0.9 TF2	$1.9 PP	-
Arma 3 Marksmen	0.8 TF2	$1.66 PP	-
Arma 3	1.7 TF2	$3.6 PP	-
Assetto Corsa Competizione	2.5 TF2	$5.36 PP	-
Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition	2.6 TF2	$5.56 PP	-
Assetto Corsa	0.8 TF2	$1.8 PP	-
Automobilista 2	3.2 TF2	$6.89 PP	-
Autonauts	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
BATTLETECH - Mercenary Collection	1.3 TF2	$2.88 PP	-
BIGFOOT	3.5 TF2	$7.52 PP	-
BIOMUTANT	1.6 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$3.48 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Mar 2023)
BPM: BULLETS PER MINUTE	0.6 TF2	$1.22 PP	-
BROFORCE	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Baba Is You	1.5 TF2	$3.3 PP	-
Back 4 Blood	4.4 TF2	$9.34 PP	-
Bad North: Jotunn Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition	0.3 TF2	$0.72 PP	-
Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
Bang-On Balls: Chronicles	2.9 TF2	$6.12 PP	-
Banished	2.1 TF2	$4.4 PP	-
Barotrauma	4.7 TF2	$10.15 PP	-
Batman - The Telltale Series	0.9 TF2	$1.9 PP	-
Batman Arkham Collection	1.1 TF2	$2.44 PP	-
Batman: Arkham Knight	0.5 TF2	$1.12 PP	-
Batman: The Enemy Within - The Telltale Series	0.9 TF2	$2.0 PP	-
Batman™: Arkham Knight Premium Edition	1.8 TF2	$3.74 PP	-
Batman™: Arkham Origins	0.6 TF2	$1.35 PP	-
Batman™: Arkham VR	0.7 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
Battlefleet Gothic: Armada II	1.5 TF2	$3.22 PP	-
Battlefleet Gothic: Armada	0.8 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Battlezone Gold Edition	2.0 TF2	$4.26 PP	-
Besiege	1.5 TF2	$3.23 PP	-
Beyond Blue	1.9 TF2	$3.99 PP	-
Beyond The Wire	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PP	-
Beyond Two Souls	1.7 TF2	$3.58 PP	-
BioShock Collection	1.0 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
BioShock Infinite	0.8 TF2	$1.79 PP	-
Bioshock Infinite: Season Pass	0.7 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
Blacksad - Under the Skin	0.4 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
Blair Witch	1.1 TF2	$2.26 PP	-
Blasphemous	0.9 TF2	$2.0 PP	-
Blood Bowl 2 - Legendary Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.61 PP	-
Blood Bowl 2	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night	1.2 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Boomerang Fu	0.6 TF2	$1.27 PP	-
Borderlands 2 VR	5.7 TF2	$12.21 PP	-
Borderlands 2	0.9 TF2	$1.85 PP	-
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition	2.8 TF2	$6.05 PP	-
Borderlands 3	1.4 TF2	$3.01 PP	-
Borderlands 3: Director's Cut	1.3 TF2	$2.84 PP	-
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection	2.8 TF2	$5.99 PP	-
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel	0.5 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
Brutal Legend	0.6 TF2	$1.22 PP	-
Bully: Scholarship Edition	2.9 TF2	$6.12 PP	-
Bus Simulator 18	1.7 TF2	$3.56 PP	-
CHUCHEL Cherry Edition	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
Call of Cthulhu	0.7 TF2	$1.56 PP	-
Call of Cthulhu	0.7 TF2	$1.56 PP	-
Call of Duty: WWII	11.0 TF2	$23.51 PP	-
Call of Juarez: Gunslinger	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
Call to Arms - Basic Edition	2.3 TF2	$4.89 PP	-
Call to Arms - Gates of Hell: Ostfront	5.2 TF2	$11.21 PP	-
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018	0.7 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics	0.6 TF2	$1.21 PP	-
Celeste	1.0 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Chess Ultra	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Children of Morta	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
Chivalry 2	3.2 TF2	$6.88 PP	-
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare	0.5 TF2	$1.05 PP	-
Chronicon	1.5 TF2	$3.25 PP	-
Cities: Skylines Deluxe Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.98 PP	-
Clone Drone in the Danger Zone	3.0 TF2	$6.43 PP	-
Code Vein	1.5 TF2	$3.28 PP	-
Coffee Talk	2.0 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
Company of Heroes 2 - Ardennes Assault	2.0 TF2	$4.36 PP	-
Company of Heroes 2 - The Western Front Armies	0.8 TF2	$1.7 PP	-
Company of Heroes 2	0.5 TF2	$0.99 PP	-
Company of Heroes 2: Master Collection	5.9 TF2	$12.54 PP	-
Company of Heroes Complete Pack	5.3 TF2	$11.3 PP	-
Company of Heroes	1.6 TF2	$3.35 PP	-
Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts	0.8 TF2	$1.61 PP	-
Conan Exiles	1.5 TF2	$3.27 PP	-
Construction Simulator 2015	1.2 TF2	$2.47 PP	-
Contagion	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Control Ultimate Edition	1.2 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$2.63 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Heroines: Warriors, Dreamers, and God Slayers
Crash Bandicoot™ N. Sane Trilogy	7.1 TF2	$15.2 PP	-
Creaks	0.3 TF2	$0.74 PP	-
Creed: Rise to Glory™	2.1 TF2	$4.53 PP	-
Crusader Kings II: Royal Collection	2.6 TF2	$5.55 PP	-
Crusader Kings III	3.8 TF2	$8.1 PP	-
Crysis® 2 Maximum Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Cultist Simulator Anthology Edition	2.3 TF2	$4.89 PP	-
Cultist Simulator	0.7 TF2	$1.41 PP	-
DEATHLOOP	1.8 TF2	$3.88 PP	-
DIRT 5	3.8 TF2	$8.06 PP	-
DMC - Devil May Cry	0.5 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
DRAGON BALL FIGHTERZ - Ultimate Edition	3.6 TF2	$7.76 PP	-
DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2	1.6 TF2	$3.42 PP	-
DRAGONBALL XENOVERSE Bundle Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.32 PP	-
DRIFT21	0.5 TF2	$1.03 PP	-
Dark Deity	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin	8.0 TF2	$17.12 PP	-
Dark Souls III	11.1 TF2	$23.63 PP	-
Darkest Dungeon	0.6 TF2	$1.3 PP	-
Darksiders Genesis	0.8 TF2	$1.77 PP	-
Darksiders II Deathinitive Edition	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Darksiders III	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Day of the Tentacle Remastered	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
DayZ	5.8 TF2	$12.41 PP	-
Dead Estate	1.5 TF2	$3.23 PP	-
Dead Island - Definitive Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Dead Island Definitive Collection	1.5 TF2	$3.27 PP	-
Dead Island Riptide - Definitive Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
Dead Rising 2: Off the Record	1.0 TF2	$2.16 PP	-
Dead Rising 3 Apocalypse Edition	1.9 TF2	$4.09 PP	-
Dead Rising 4	0.8 TF2	$1.71 PP	-
Dead Rising	0.9 TF2	$2.0 PP	-
Dead Rising® 2	1.0 TF2	$2.1 PP	-
Death Road to Canada	0.6 TF2	$1.21 PP	-
Death's Gambit	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
Deep Rock Galactic	3.7 TF2	$8.02 PP	-
Descenders	0.4 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Desperados III	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Destroy All Humans	0.7 TF2	$1.41 PP	-
Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Director's Cut	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Devil May Cry HD Collection	1.4 TF2	$2.9 PP	-
Devil May Cry® 4 Special Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Dinosaur Fossil Hunter	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Distance	0.7 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Distant Worlds: Universe	0.6 TF2	$1.3 PP	-
Doom Eternal	2.0 TF2	$4.19 PP	-
Door Kickers	1.0 TF2	$2.2 PP	-
Dorfromantik	1.9 TF2	$4.04 PP	-
Dragons Dogma - Dark Arisen	0.8 TF2	$1.67 PP	-
Drake Hollow	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Drone Swarm	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
Duck Game	2.2 TF2	$4.7 PP	-
Dungeon Defenders: Awakened	3.3 TF2	$7.08 PP	-
Dungreed	0.9 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
Duskers	0.5 TF2	$0.99 PP	-
EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair	2.2 TF2	$4.63 PP	-
ELEX	0.7 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
EVERSPACE™	0.7 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Elite: Dangerous	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
Endzone - A World Apart	0.6 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
Euro Truck Simulator 2	1.1 TF2	$2.43 PP	-
Europa Universalis IV	1.0 TF2	$2.22 PP	-
Exanima	2.3 TF2	$4.82 PP	-
FTL: Faster Than Light	1.2 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Fable Anniversary	2.6 TF2	$5.56 PP	-
Fantasy General II	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
Farming Simulator 17	0.5 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Firefighting Simulator - The Squad	3.9 TF2	$8.26 PP	-
First Class Trouble	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
For The King	0.8 TF2	$1.81 PP	-
Forager	1.3 TF2	$2.84 PP	-
Forts	2.6 TF2	$5.54 PP	-
Friday the 13th: The Game	2.3 TF2	$4.89 PP	-
Frostpunk	1.2 TF2	$2.48 PP	-
Full Metal Furies	0.5 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Furi	0.7 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
GOD EATER 2 Rage Burst	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
GRID - Ultimate	1.0 TF2	$2.04 PP	-
GRIS	0.4 TF2	$0.85 PP	-
Gamedec	0.4 TF2	$0.77 PP	-
Gang Beasts	2.9 TF2	$6.15 PP	-
Garden Paws	0.8 TF2	$1.77 PP	-
Gas Station Simulator	1.4 TF2	$3.05 PP	-
Gears 5	4.5 TF2	$9.54 PP	-
Gears Tactics	4.1 TF2	$8.86 PP	-
Generation Zero®	1.1 TF2	$2.37 PP	-
Genital Jousting	0.5 TF2	$1.09 PP	-
Goat Simulator	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Godlike Burger	1.4 TF2	$2.89 PP	-
Golf With Your Friends	1.1 TF2	$2.38 PP	-
Gordian Quest	1.6 TF2	$3.51 PP	-
Gotham Knights	4.9 TF2	$10.54 PP	-
GreedFall	0.6 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
Grim Dawn	2.2 TF2	$4.61 PP	-
Guacamelee! 2	0.6 TF2	$1.27 PP	-
HITMAN™2 Gold Edition	2.7 TF2	$5.83 PP	-
HIVESWAP: Act 2	1.9 TF2	$4.16 PP	-
HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™	1.5 TF2	$3.16 PP	-
Hacknet	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Haiku, the Robot	1.5 TF2	$3.14 PP	-
Hard Bullet	0.9 TF2	$1.97 PP	-
Hearts of Iron III Collection	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Battle for the Bosporus	1.4 TF2	$3.08 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet Edition	1.6 TF2	$3.36 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor	0.8 TF2	$1.72 PP	-
Hearts of Iron IV: Waking the Tiger	1.4 TF2	$2.99 PP	-
Heave Ho	0.5 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
Heavy Rain	1.7 TF2	$3.62 PP	-
Hell Let Loose	7.6 TF2	$16.18 PP	-
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice	0.8 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.72 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Heroines: Warriors, Dreamers, and God Slayers
Hello, Neighbor!	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Hero's Hour	1.0 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$2.19 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Mar 2023)
Heroes of Hammerwatch	0.5 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Hitman Absolution	0.8 TF2	$1.6 PP	-
Hitman Blood Money	0.6 TF2	$1.35 PP	-
Hitman Game of the Year Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.53 PP	-
Hollow Knight	2.3 TF2	$4.89 PP	-
Homefront	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
Homefront: The Revolution	0.8 TF2	$1.78 PP	-
Homeworld: Deserts of Kharak	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number Digital Special Edition	0.5 TF2	$1.09 PP	-
Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number	0.5 TF2	$1.0 PP	-
Hotline Miami	0.7 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
House Flipper VR	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
House Flipper	2.5 TF2	$5.23 PP	-
Human: Fall Flat	0.7 TF2	$1.51 PP	-
HuniePop	0.4 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Huntdown	1.2 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
Hurtworld	1.9 TF2	$4.09 PP	-
Hyper Light Drifter	0.9 TF2	$1.84 PP	-
Hypnospace Outlaw	0.7 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
I Am Fish	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
I Expect You To Die	1.3 TF2	$2.7 PP	-
I-NFECTED	5.8 TF2	$12.38 PP	-
IL-2 Sturmovik™: 1946	0.8 TF2	$1.77 PP	-
INSURGENCY	1.5 TF2	$3.26 PP	-
Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Imperator: Rome	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.44 PP	-
Injustice 2	0.7 TF2	$1.51 PP	-
Injustice: Gods Among Us - Ultimate Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.24 PP	-
Into the Radius VR	5.1 TF2	$10.76 PP	-
Ion Fury	1.5 TF2	$3.09 PP	-
Iron Harvest	0.9 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
Jalopy	0.5 TF2	$1.06 PP	-
Job Simulator	8.5 TF2	$18.19 PP	-
Jurassic World Evolution 2	1.8 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$3.87 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Choice (Mar 2023)
Jurassic World Evolution	0.4 TF2	$0.93 PP	-
Just Cause 2	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Just Cause 4: Complete Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.09 PP	-
KartKraft	2.9 TF2	$6.22 PP	-
Katamari Damacy REROLL	1.0 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Katana ZERO	1.0 TF2	$2.11 PP	-
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes	2.5 TF2	$5.29 PP	-
Kerbal Space Program	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
Killer Instinct	5.7 TF2	$12.21 PP	-
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.87 PP	-
Killing Floor 2	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PP	-
Killing Floor	0.6 TF2	$1.17 PP	-
Kingdom: Two Crowns	0.7 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
King’s Bounty : Ultimate Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.73 PP	-
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham Premium Edition	0.5 TF2	$1.07 PP	-
LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
LEGO Batman Trilogy	1.4 TF2	$2.93 PP	-
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4	0.5 TF2	$1.03 PP	-
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7	0.7 TF2	$1.48 PP	-
LEGO Lord of the Rings	0.4 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
LEGO® City Undercover	0.7 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
LEGO® DC Super-Villains Deluxe Edition	1.8 TF2	$3.9 PP	-
LEGO® DC Super-Villains	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
LEGO® Jurassic World™	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
LEGO® MARVEL's Avengers	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PP	-
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2 Deluxe Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.34 PP	-
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2	0.4 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
LEGO® Ninjago® Movie Video Game	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
LEGO® Star Wars™: The Force Awakens	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
LEGO® Worlds	1.7 TF2	$3.6 PP	-
Labyrinth City: Pierre the Maze Detective	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Last Oasis	0.5 TF2	$1.12 PP	-
Late Shift	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
Layers of Fear 2	3.3 TF2	$7.1 PP	-
Layers of Fear	0.5 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Legion TD 2	0.9 TF2	$1.97 PP	-
Len's Island	2.9 TF2	$6.23 PP	-
Lethal League Blaze	0.9 TF2	$1.91 PP	-
Lethal League	0.7 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
Library Of Ruina	3.0 TF2	$6.36 PP	-
Life is Feudal: Your Own	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
Little Misfortune	3.2 TF2	$6.89 PP	-
Little Nightmares Complete Edition	1.5 TF2	$3.26 PP	-
Little Nightmares	0.8 TF2	$1.64 PP	-
Lobotomy Corporation Monster Management Simulation	4.8 TF2	$10.21 PP	-
Lords of the Fallen Game of the Year Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.7 PP	-
Lost Ember	1.3 TF2	$2.73 PP	-
Lost Planet™: Extreme Condition	0.8 TF2	$1.81 PP	-
Luck be a Landlord	2.5 TF2	$5.45 PP	-
METAL GEAR SOLID V: THE PHANTOM PAIN	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience	1.2 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
MORTAL KOMBAT 11	1.6 TF2	$3.44 PP	-
MX vs ATV Reflex	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PP	-
MX vs. ATV Unleashed	0.3 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Mad Max	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Mafia II: Definitive Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.62 PP	-
Mafia III: Definitive Edition	1.9 TF2	$4.09 PP	-
Maneater	0.5 TF2	$1.08 PP	-
Manhunt	1.2 TF2	$2.52 PP	-
Mars Horizon	1.0 TF2	$2.04 PP	-
Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite - Deluxe Edition	2.7 TF2	$5.79 PP	-
Mass Effect™ Legendary Edition	6.3 TF2	$13.54 PP	-
Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PP	-
Max Payne	0.9 TF2	$1.85 PP	-
MechWarrior 5: Mercenaries	2.3 TF2	$4.84 PP	-
Medal of Honor	1.9 TF2	$4.14 PP	-
Mega Man Legacy Collection	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 - Deluxe Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.21 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 War Chest Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Men of War: Assault Squad 2	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Messenger	0.4 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Metro 2033 Redux	0.6 TF2	$1.31 PP	-
Metro Exodus	1.4 TF2	$3.04 PP	-
Metro Redux Bundle	1.1 TF2	$2.3 PP	-
Metro: Last Light Redux	1.0 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.65 PP	-
Middle-earth™: Shadow of War™	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
Middleearth Shadow of War Definitive Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.48 PP	-
Mini Ninjas	0.4 TF2	$0.94 PP	-
Mirror's Edge	2.3 TF2	$4.85 PP	-
Miscreated	1.4 TF2	$2.88 PP	-
Monster Hunter: World	3.3 TF2	$6.96 PP	-
Monster Sanctuary	0.4 TF2	$0.96 PP	-
Monster Train	0.4 TF2	$0.77 PP	-
Moonlighter	0.4 TF2	$0.93 PP	-
Moons of Madness	1.7 TF2	$3.74 PP	-
Mordhau	1.6 TF2	$3.41 PP	-
Mortal Kombat X	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
Mortal Kombat XL	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
Mortal Shell	1.5 TF2	$3.18 PP	-
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Motorsport Manager	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Move or Die	0.9 TF2	$2.0 PP	-
Moving Out	0.7 TF2	$1.49 PP	-
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden - Deluxe Edition	1.4 TF2	$3.04 PP	-
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden	0.9 TF2	$1.93 PP	-
My Friend Pedro	0.6 TF2	$1.27 PP	-
My Time At Portia	0.5 TF2	$0.96 PP	-
NARUTO SHIPPUDEN: Ultimate Ninja STORM 4 Road to Boruto	2.2 TF2	$4.72 PP	-
NASCAR Heat 5 - Ultimate Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker - Deluxe Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.63 PP	-
Naruto to Boruto Shinobi Striker	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
Necromunda: Hired Gun	0.7 TF2	$1.56 PP	-
Neon Abyss	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
Ni no Kuni™ II: Revenant Kingdom - The Prince's Edition	2.5 TF2	$5.33 PP	-
Nine Parchments	1.4 TF2	$3.0 PP	-
No Time to Relax	1.7 TF2	$3.57 PP	-
Northgard	4.0 TF2	$8.55 PP	-
Not For Broadcast	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
ONE PIECE BURNING BLOOD	0.8 TF2	$1.69 PP	-
ONE PIECE PIRATE WARRIORS 3 Gold Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Offworld Trading Company™	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
One Step From Eden	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
Opus Magnum	1.2 TF2	$2.56 PP	-
Orcs Must Die! 3	1.6 TF2	$3.42 PP	-
Outlast 2	0.4 TF2	$0.91 PP	-
Outlast	0.4 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
Outward	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Overcooked	0.7 TF2	$1.49 PP	-
Overcooked! 2	1.4 TF2	$3.1 PP	-
Overgrowth	0.5 TF2	$1.08 PP	-
Overlord II	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
PC Building Simulator	0.8 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Paint the Town Red	2.0 TF2	$4.23 PP	-
Parkitect	4.5 TF2	$9.55 PP	-
Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.11 PP	-
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous	0.9 TF2	$1.89 PP	-
Pathologic 2	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
Per Aspera	0.7 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
Phantom Doctrine	0.3 TF2	$0.73 PP	-
Pillars of Eternity Definitive Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.55 PP	-
Pistol Whip	5.7 TF2	$12.21 PP	-
Plague Inc: Evolved	1.5 TF2	$3.27 PP	-
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
Planet Coaster	1.6 TF2	$3.48 PP	-
Planet Zoo	1.8 TF2	$3.79 PP	-
Planetary Annihilation: TITANS	4.5 TF2	$9.55 PP	-
Portal Knights	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid	3.3 TF2	$7.15 PP	-
PowerBeatsVR	0.9 TF2	$1.97 PP	-
PowerSlave Exhumed	1.6 TF2	$3.51 PP	-
Praey for the Gods	0.6 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.32 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Heroines: Warriors, Dreamers, and God Slayers
Prehistoric Kingdom	1.4 TF2	$2.9 PP	-
Pro Cycling Manager 2019	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Project Cars 3	10.4 TF2	$22.11 PP	-
Project Hospital	2.3 TF2	$4.83 PP	-
Project Wingman	1.0 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
Project Winter	0.9 TF2	$1.97 PP	-
Propnight	0.6 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.36 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Scary Games to Play in the Dark Bundle
Pumpkin Jack	0.4 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
Quantum Break	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
RESIDENT EVIL 3	2.1 TF2	$4.41 PP	-
RUGBY 20	1.2 TF2	$2.55 PP	-
RUINER	0.4 TF2	$0.84 PP	-
RWBY: Grimm Eclipse	3.1 TF2	$6.56 PP	-
Ragnaröck	3.2 TF2	$6.8 PP	-
Rain World	1.2 TF2	$2.57 PP	-
Raw Data	1.0 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Re:Legend	1.0 TF2	$2.12 PP	-
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered	0.4 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
Red Matter	4.1 TF2	$8.83 PP	-
Resident Evil / biohazard HD REMASTER	0.9 TF2	$1.86 PP	-
Resident Evil 0 / biohazard 0 HD Remaster	0.6 TF2	$1.3 PP	-
Resident Evil 5 GOLD Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.83 PP	-
Resident Evil 5	0.9 TF2	$1.92 PP	-
Resident Evil 6	1.3 TF2	$2.82 PP	-
Resident Evil: Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition	2.0 TF2	$4.23 PP	-
Resident Evil: Revelations	0.5 TF2	$1.02 PP	-
Retro Machina	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Risen 2 Dark Waters	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
Rising Storm 2: Vietnam	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
River City Girls	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos	0.5 TF2	$1.1 PP	-
RollerCoaster Tycoon Deluxe	1.0 TF2	$2.1 PP	-
Rollercoaster Tycoon 2: Triple Thrill Pack	1.2 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Rubber Bandits	0.7 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
Running with Rifles	1.8 TF2	$3.86 PP	-
Ryse: Son of Rome	1.6 TF2	$3.49 PP	-
SCUM	2.7 TF2	$5.72 PP	-
SHENZHEN I/O	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PP	-
SOMA	2.0 TF2	$4.19 PP	-
SONG OF HORROR Complete Edition	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
STAR WARS® THE FORCE UNLEASHED II	0.8 TF2	$1.7 PP	-
STAR WARS™: Squadrons	1.9 TF2	$4.17 PP	-
SUPERHOT VR	2.1 TF2	$4.49 PP	-
SUPERHOT	0.7 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE	0.4 TF2	$0.87 PP	-
Sable	0.5 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.04 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Heroines: Warriors, Dreamers, and God Slayers
Saint's Row The Third Remastered	2.1 TF2	$4.48 PP	-
Saints Row 2	0.6 TF2	$1.23 PP	-
Saints Row IV	0.9 TF2	$1.82 PP	-
Saints Row: The Third	0.6 TF2	$1.29 PP	-
Sanctum 2	0.5 TF2	$1.08 PP	-
Satisfactory	5.9 TF2	$12.71 PP	-
Scarlet Nexus	2.7 TF2	$5.84 PP	-
Secret Neighbor	0.5 TF2	$1.14 PP	-
Serious Sam 2	0.7 TF2	$1.53 PP	-
Serious Sam 4	2.6 TF2	$5.47 PP	-
Serious Sam: Siberian Mayhem	2.1 TF2	$4.5 PP	-
Severed Steel	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Shadow Man Remastered	0.9 TF2	$1.98 PP	-
Shadow Warrior 2	0.8 TF2	$1.73 PP	-
Shadow of the Tomb Raider	3.2 TF2	$6.78 PP	-
Shantae and the Pirate's Curse	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
Shenmue 3	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Shenmue I & II	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Shining Resonance Refrain	0.4 TF2	$0.94 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization V	0.8 TF2	$1.65 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization VI : Platinum Edition	2.7 TF2	$5.87 PP	-
Sid Meier's Civilization® V: The Complete Edition	1.9 TF2	$4.15 PP	-
Sid Meiers Civilization IV: The Complete Edition	0.8 TF2	$1.74 PP	-
Siege of Centauri	0.5 TF2	$1.15 PP	-
SimCasino	0.6 TF2	$1.35 PP	-
Skullgirls 2nd Encore	0.9 TF2	$1.97 PP	-
Slap City	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PP	-
Slay the Spire	2.6 TF2	$5.56 PP	-
Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
Slime Rancher	1.5 TF2	$3.3 PP	-
Sniper Elite 3	0.5 TF2	$1.14 PP	-
Sniper Elite 4	1.2 TF2	$2.67 PP	-
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered	0.8 TF2	$1.72 PP	-
Sniper Elite V2	0.4 TF2	$0.94 PP	-
Sniper Ghost Warrior 3	0.6 TF2	$1.37 PP	-
Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts	0.5 TF2	$1.11 PP	-
Sonic Adventure DX	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PP	-
Sonic Adventure™ 2	0.5 TF2	$1.16 PP	-
Sonic Lost World	1.6 TF2	$3.44 PP	-
Sonic Mania	0.7 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Sorcery! Parts 1 & 2	0.6 TF2	$1.27 PP	-
Soul Calibur VI	1.1 TF2	$2.34 PP	-
Source of Madness	0.5 TF2	$1.13 PP	-
Space Engineers	2.1 TF2	$4.56 PP	-
Space Haven	0.6 TF2	$1.33 PP	-
Spec Ops: The Line	0.8 TF2	$1.65 PP	-
SpeedRunners	0.6 TF2	$1.38 PP	-
Spelunky	0.7 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
Spirit Of The Island	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Splendor	0.6 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated	1.2 TF2	$2.6 PP	-
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy	3.5 TF2	$7.48 PP	-
Star Renegades	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
Star Trek: Bridge Crew	3.5 TF2	$7.49 PP	-
Star Wars Republic Commando™	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
Star Wars® Empire at War™: Gold Pack	1.0 TF2	$2.07 PP	-
Starbound	0.7 TF2	$1.58 PP	-
Starpoint Gemini Warlords	1.6 TF2	$3.44 PP	-
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition	2.8 TF2	$6.08 PP	-
Staxel	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
SteamWorld Quest: Hand of Gilgamech	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
Steel Division: Normandy 44	0.6 TF2	$1.38 PP	-
Stellaris Galaxy Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
Stellaris: Lithoids Species Pack	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
Stick Fight: The Game	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
Strategic Command WWII: World at War	2.0 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection	2.3 TF2	$4.82 PP	-
Street Fighter V	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
Streets of Rogue	1.1 TF2	$2.44 PP	-
Stronghold 2: Steam Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.95 PP	-
Stronghold Crusader 2	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PP	-
Stronghold Crusader HD	0.5 TF2	$1.07 PP	-
Styx: Shards Of Darkness	0.6 TF2	$1.29 PP	-
Subnautica	4.0 TF2	$8.55 PP	-
Summer in Mara	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Sunless Skies	0.6 TF2	$1.36 PP	-
Sunset Overdrive	1.3 TF2	$2.67 PP	-
Super Meat Boy	0.3 TF2	$0.72 PP	-
Superliminal	1.9 TF2	$4.11 PP	-
Supraland Six Inches Under	1.6 TF2	$3.34 PP	-
Supreme Commander 2	0.9 TF2	$1.93 PP	-
Surgeon Simulator: Experience Reality	0.9 TF2	$1.82 PP	-
Survive the Nights	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Surviving the Aftermath	0.4 TF2	$0.95 PP	-
Sword Art Online Fatal Bullet - Complete Edition	5.1 TF2	$10.86 PP	-
Sword Art Online Hollow Realization Deluxe Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Syberia: The World Before	0.9 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.84 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Humble Heroines: Warriors, Dreamers, and God Slayers
Synth Riders	3.2 TF2	$6.89 PP	-
TEKKEN 7	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
THIEF	0.8 TF2	$1.61 PP	-
TT Isle of Man Ride on the Edge 2	1.7 TF2	$3.56 PP	-
Tales of Berseria	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Tales of Berseria	0.8 TF2	$1.76 PP	-
Tales of Symphonia	1.5 TF2	$3.25 PP	-
Tales of Zestiria	0.6 TF2	$1.24 PP	-
Talisman: Digital Edition	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PP	-
Tank Mechanic Simulator	1.0 TF2	$2.13 PP	-
Team Sonic Racing™	1.8 TF2	$3.9 PP	-
Telltale Batman Shadows Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.9 PP	-
Terraforming Mars	0.9 TF2	$1.88 PP	-
Terraria	1.7 TF2	$3.71 PP	-
The Ascent	1.0 TF2	$2.09 PP	-
The Battle of Polytopia	0.4 TF2	$0.9 PP	-
The Beast Inside	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
The Blackout Club	5.7 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$12.21 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Scary Games to Play in the Dark Bundle
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Medan	1.6 TF2	$3.46 PP	-
The Darkness II	0.5 TF2	$1.0 PP	-
The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos	0.5 TF2	$1.08 PP	-
The Escapists 2	0.9 TF2	$1.83 PP	-
The Escapists	0.6 TF2	$1.34 PP	-
The Henry Stickmin Collection	0.7 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
The Intruder	1.1 TF2	$2.38 PP	-
The Jackbox Party Pack 2	1.2 TF2	$2.58 PP	-
The Jackbox Party Pack 3	3.2 TF2	$6.87 PP	-
The Jackbox Party Pack 4	2.0 TF2	$4.21 PP	-
The Jackbox Party Pack 5	3.2 TF2	$6.8 PP	-
The Jackbox Party Pack 6	2.6 TF2	$5.53 PP	-
The Jackbox Party Pack	1.1 TF2	$2.33 PP	-
The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
The Long Dark	1.9 TF2	$4.17 PP	-
The Long Dark: Survival Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PP	-
The Ship: Murder Party	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
The Stanley Parable	2.2 TF2	$4.69 PP	-
The Surge 2	0.7 TF2	$1.46 PP	-
The Survivalists	0.9 TF2	$1.99 PP	-
The Talos Principle	0.7 TF2	$1.41 PP	-
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
The Walking Dead: The Final Season	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
The Walking Dead: The Telltale Definitive Series	1.9 TF2	$4.17 PP	-
The Witness	4.5 TF2	$9.48 PP	-
The Wolf Among Us	1.1 TF2	$2.34 PP	-
This War of Mine: Complete Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.56 PP	-
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.36 PP	-
Tomb Raider	1.4 TF2	$3.02 PP	-
Torchlight II	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PP	-
Total Tank Simulator	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
Total War SHOGUN 2	1.5 TF2	$3.23 PP	-
Total War Shogun 2 Collection	1.6 TF2	$3.44 PP	-
Total War: ATTILA	1.8 TF2	$3.93 PP	-
Total War: Empire - Definitive Edition	1.4 TF2	$3.07 PP	-
Total War: Napoleon - Definitive Edition	1.4 TF2	$3.0 PP	-
Total War: Rome II - Emperor Edition	2.4 TF2	$5.17 PP	-
Total War™: WARHAMMER®	2.9 TF2	$6.17 PP	-
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator	3.2 TF2	$6.8 PP	-
Tour de France 2020	0.6 TF2	$1.33 PP	-
Tower Unite	3.5 TF2	$7.55 PP	-
Townscaper	0.6 TF2	$1.17 PP	-
Trailmakers Deluxe Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.91 PP	-
Trailmakers	0.9 TF2	$1.91 PP	-
Train Simulator Classic	0.7 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$1.44 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Train Simulator Classic: On the Fast Track Bundle
Train Station Renovation	0.4 TF2	$0.93 PP	-
Tribes of Midgard	0.7 TF2	$1.52 PP	-
Tricky Towers	1.7 TF2	$3.57 PP	-
Trine 2: Complete Story	1.1 TF2	$2.3 PP	-
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PP	-
Tropico 5	0.3 TF2	$0.74 PP	-
Tropico 5 – Complete Collection	0.8 TF2	$1.65 PP	-
Tropico 6 El-Prez Edition	2.4 TF2	$5.24 PP	-
Tropico 6	2.2 TF2	$4.61 PP	-
Turmoil	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PP	-
Turok	0.4 TF2	$0.92 PP	-
Two Point Hospital	2.2 TF2	$4.65 PP	-
Tyranny - Gold Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.39 PP	-
Ultimate Chicken Horse	1.5 TF2	$3.24 PP	-
Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3	1.6 TF2	$3.37 PP	-
Undertale	2.0 TF2	$4.19 PP	-
Universe Sandbox	3.3 TF2	$7.15 PP	-
Unrailed!	1.0 TF2	$2.04 PP	-
Until You Fall	0.6 TF2	$1.39 PP	-
VTOL VR	4.8 TF2	$10.16 PP	-
Vacation Simulator	4.8 TF2	$10.21 PP	-
Vagante	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PP	-
Valkyria Chronicles 4 Complete Edition	1.1 TF2	$2.37 PP	-
Valkyria Chronicles™	0.9 TF2	$1.98 PP	-
Vampyr	1.4 TF2	$3.04 PP	-
Visage	5.8 TF2 Refer To My Other Thread	$12.24 PP Refer To My Other Thread	Scary Games to Play in the Dark Bundle
Viscera Cleanup Detail	1.9 TF2	$4.09 PP	-
Void Bastards	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PP	-
Volcanoids	0.9 TF2	$1.91 PP	-
Vox Machinae	3.1 TF2	$6.74 PP	-
WRATH: Aeon of Ruin	0.4 TF2	$0.82 PP	-
WRC 8 FIA World Rally Championship	1.0 TF2	$2.23 PP	-
Wargame: Red Dragon	6.2 TF2	$13.18 PP	-
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War - Master Collection	1.3 TF2	$2.77 PP	-
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II - Grand Master Collection	1.7 TF2	$3.62 PP	-
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II: Retribution	0.6 TF2	$1.18 PP	-
Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War	0.6 TF2	$1.23 PP	-
Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Tyranids	2.7 TF2	$5.78 PP	-
Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine Collection	1.5 TF2	$3.3 PP	-
Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine	1.5 TF2	$3.27 PP	-
Warhammer: Chaosbane - Slayer Edition	1.0 TF2	$2.11 PP	-
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide Collector's Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.33 PP	-
Warhammer: Vermintide 2 - Collector's Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.51 PP	-
Warhammer: Vermintide 2	1.1 TF2	$2.41 PP	-
Warhammer® 40,000™: Dawn of War® III	1.6 TF2	$3.42 PP	-
Warpips	0.7 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
Wasteland 3	1.2 TF2	$2.48 PP	-
We Happy Few	0.7 TF2	$1.54 PP	-
We Need to Go Deeper	1.4 TF2	$2.91 PP	-
We Were Here Too	1.5 TF2	$3.23 PP	-
White Day : a labyrinth named school	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PP	-
Who's Your Daddy	2.0 TF2	$4.23 PP	-
Wingspan	0.9 TF2	$2.02 PP	-
Winkeltje: The Little Shop	1.0 TF2	$2.09 PP	-
Witch It	1.8 TF2	$3.93 PP	-
Wizard of Legend	0.9 TF2	$1.91 PP	-
World War Z: Aftermath	3.8 TF2	$8.2 PP	-
Worms Ultimate Mayhem - Deluxe Edition	0.3 TF2	$0.74 PP	-
Worms W.M.D	1.0 TF2	$2.17 PP	-
Worms World Party Remastered	0.4 TF2	$0.88 PP	-
Wrench	2.9 TF2	$6.23 PP	-
Wurm Unlimited	0.7 TF2	$1.5 PP	-
X4: Foundations	5.3 TF2	$11.34 PP	-
X4: Split Vendetta	1.8 TF2	$3.83 PP	-
XCOM 2 Collection	1.1 TF2	$2.24 PP	-
XCOM: Enemy Unknown Complete Pack	0.7 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
XCOM: Ultimate Collection	0.9 TF2	$1.86 PP	-
XCOM®: Chimera Squad	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Yakuza 0	1.3 TF2	$2.74 PP	-
Yakuza 3 Remastered	1.2 TF2	$2.53 PP	-
Yakuza Kiwami 2	1.7 TF2	$3.57 PP	-
Yakuza Kiwami	1.6 TF2	$3.44 PP	-
Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles	1.9 TF2	$4.17 PP	-
YouTubers Life	0.7 TF2	$1.57 PP	-
Yuppie Psycho	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
ZERO Sievert	3.5 TF2	$7.56 PP	-
Zeno Clash 2	0.3 TF2	$0.71 PP	-
Zombie Army Trilogy	0.8 TF2	$1.67 PP	-
biped	0.9 TF2	$1.86 PP	-
rFactor 2	1.1 TF2	$2.44 PP	-
while True: learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.6 PP	-

 
IGS Rep Page:
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ggsaik/fappidydats_igs_rep_page/
 
SteamTrades Rep Page (1000+):
https://www.steamtrades.com/use76561198097671494
 
GameTrade Rep Page:
https://www.reddit.com/GameTradeRep/comments/ggrz1y/fappidydats_gametrade_rep_page/?
 
SGSFlair Rep Page:
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/ggag04/flair_profile_ufappidydat/

Demographics

• Gender: Male
• Race/Ethnicity: Nepalese/Asian (rip)
• Residence: North Carolina
• Income Bracket: ~130k (upper middle)
• Type of School: semi-competitive public (Sends a few to T20s but most of the smart kids end up at UNC/NCSU)
• Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): None

Intended Major(s): CS (rip)
Academics

• GPA (UW/W): 4.38W/3.79UW
• Rank (or percentile): 86/415 (barely outside of top 20%). Hasn't updated tho.
• # of Honors/AP/IB/Dual Enrollment/etc.: 7 APs, 7 DEs, 15 honors by end of high school
• Senior Year Course Load: 3 APs (Psych, Stats, CSA) 3 DEs (5 including summer after Junior year) and 2 honors.

Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.

• SAT I: 1500 (710RW, 790M) superscore, highest single was 1460 (670RW, 790M)
• ACT: 29 didn't submit (was half asleep)
• SAT II: N/A
• AP/IB: APWH (4) CSP (3), Calc BC (3 w/ 4 AB subscore)
• Other (ex. IELTS, TOEFL, etc.): N/A

Extracurriculars/Activities
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.

1. Foundepresident of STEM club in school (more theoretical/conceptual STEM)
2. Temporary teacher at my hometown in Nepal
3. Internship at SW startup
4. Crypto trading, 45k+ revenue
5. Online tutoring younger cousins from back home
6. Virtual Camp counselor
7. Initiated a school-wide vigil for Uvalde Shooting Victims (didn't wanna list but everyone told me including counselor)
8. DECA Member
9. Key Club Member
10. Photog acc, amassed a decent following

Awards/Honors
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.

1. NHS
2. AP Scholar
3. Some Python certification
4. Some AutoCad certification

my awards were ass
Letters of Recommendation
DE Supervisor: Read the rec, also my club advisor, everyone who has read it said it was very well-written
English Teacher: Heard she writes solid recs but was kind of in the background in the class, mostly slacked off but still did well, can't say for sure how it was
Counselor: Had a really good relationship w her, she helped me through tough times and I just had an overall really good relationship with her.
Interviews
Didn't have any
Essays
Think these were my strongest piece. My personal statement was sort of relatable but also somewhat unique (talked about a teacher who helped me find my voice and how I dealt with switching to 12 different schools and the growth that ensued. Most of my essay focused on my growth). Everyone who has read it so far has said it's incredible.
I think my strongest supplements were my UMD Supplements by far but all of them were also really well written.
Decisions (indicate ED/EA/REA/SCEA/RD)
Acceptances:

• Northeastern (ED1). Admitted to Boston for CS+Econ but switched to CS+Business (comitted)
• Pitt (Rolling) admitted CS
• ASU (Rolling), 16.5k/yr scholly, admitted CS
• CU Boulder (EA) not for CS though, Exploratory program and 6.25k/yr scholly
• UMD (EA) L&S undecided
• Rose-Hulman (EA) 25k/yr scholly+really good aid, also admitted CS

Deferrals:

• NC State (EA). This kinda hurt ngl
• Ohio State (EA). Who tf wants to go to Ohio.
• UW-Madison (EA). Expected it.

Waitlists:

• UNC (EA). Didn't have high hopes even as an in-state applicant, the cutoff seemed to be 4.4 since nobody with a gpa lower got in and pretty much everyone with that gpa or higher did. Same with NCSU.

Rejections:

• Case Western (EA). Didn't hurt in the slightest
• Grinnell (RD). Didn't even realize I applied lmfao

​
Other:
Withdrew all my applications. Northeastern initially gave me 77k/yr and to say those 9 days were pretty hell for me would be an understatement. Thankfully the appeal worked, and now it'll put me in less debt than my state flagship :D. Think there was an error when doing some calculation w/ CSS, not sure if the error was on my part or theirs, but it doesn't matter anymore. My NPC was met on the dot.
My advice: Don't panic, it'll all work out, one way or another.

Although I've never used a dating app once, I hate them. I hate the thought of how disposable I am. I hate the thought that I'm just an option who will be compared to all the other person's matches if we get together. I hate the hookup culture side of things. I hate how looks-based they are. I could go on and on. On a separate note, I have so much stuff I want to do/learn but I wish there was someone to accompany me through the whole process.
This is kind of what fuelled one of my ideas: You match with people based on your hobbies and interests and talk about them, but you are able to map out what free time you have to spend and schedule a time with one of your matches. During this time you cannot match with or talk to other matches, or each other. You tell each other what you're going to do in this time, i.e in one hour person A studies a lecture while person B works on an art piece they're doing. Then after that hour, they go back online and update one another on their progress. This shows the more time a person spends with you, the more they're interested in you. Even if things don't work out, your time was still spent productively.
I really want to make a dating app which focuses more on productivity and leaves apps like Tinder purely for hookup culture. I feel like this could be a good solution.

Hey all, thanks for any help you can provide. I'm at my wits end with this, system has been in operation since being built in 2021 without any issues, then suddenly started freezing at startup.
Motherboard: Gigabyte X570 AORUS MASTER ATX AM4 Motherboard Rev 1.2 BIOS ver F37b (already RMA'd to Gigabyte who confirmed it's working normally)
CPU: AMD Ryzen 9 5950X 3.4 GHz 16-Core Processor
CPU Cooling: ARCTIC Liquid Freezer II 420 72.8 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler
GPU: MSI Suprim 3080Ti
RAM: Corsair Vengeance LPX 64 GB (2 x 32 GB) Part# CMK64GX4M2E3200C16
OS SSD: Western Digital Black SN850 1 TB M.2-2280 (disconnected for testing)
PSU: SeaSonic PRIME PX 1000 W 80+ Platinum Certified ATX Power Supply
Case: Fractal Design Define 7 XL ATX Full Tower Case (all case fans disconnected)
Issue and steps taken
System began freezing within 60 seconds or less of loading Windows - mouse/keyboard frozen, system frozen, forcing hard reset, no error message on motherboard except 9E (reserved, not an error code).
Loads to BIOS normally, BIOS runs normally, does not freeze in BIOS. All temps normal. No OC or custom settings used, loaded optimized defaults, cleared CMOS at board and by battery removal.
Removed all storage media including OS SSD, loaded Windows 10 install USB (original from MS), system freezes in the same manner. Installed new SSD to attempt fresh Windows 10 install, system freezes. USB media tested in every USB port front/back.
Removed RAM, tested 1 stick in each slot, tested alternate stick in each slot, system freezes in all configurations.
Re-seated and re-pasted CPU 3 times so far, system still freezes.
Loaded memtest86 from USB, ran full test over 15 hours with zero (0) errors.
Replaced GPU with alternate (MSI R9 290X), system freezes.
Tested PSU in alternate test system, appears to be fine, alt test system did not freeze running stress test over 24 hours.
Motherboard was RMA'd back to Gigabyte and returned as working normally.

(This is copied from a comment I wrote in another thread, I apologize for the somewhat scattered formatting)
​
Located in VA, 5-30k (depending on the car). prefer to buy but if it's a newemore expensive car I'd be financing. hatch, sedan, coupe,wagons, convertibles are all fine. must be: somewhat entertaining, somewhat reliable, somewhat affordable to keep on the road. I wfh so no commute, just driving to get groceries, see friends/family, and occasionally go get dinner outside of some occasional backroads driving. doesn't have to be practical, but does need to not have wacky insurance costs for a 22-23 year old. no pref between manual and auto.
my Honda Fit got hit by a deer and will likely be totaled. I liked the car, but now with a fulltime job out of college and some disposable income I'd like to have something that's similarly fun to toss around but a smidge faster.
considered:
2006-2015 Civic SI: I would like one but good examples near me are hard to come by.
Fiesta ST: Top choice, but similar situation. hard to find good examples near me. there's a few further up in the state and it's a bit difficult to travel right now w/ the situation I'm in. There's a decent one about an hour and a half away that's about 15k w/ 55k miles that seems like the "sweet spot", but I'm unsure. That's approaching my limit to what I'd like to spend if I did pay in cash
Focus ST: No quality examples near me.
MazdaSpeed 3: hard to find a good one near me, looks like every one that's for sale in a 200mi vicinity is on the brink of needing a grand in maintenance.
2006-2014 WRX: everything available looks like it's a couple thousand miles away from needing some major service
128i/135i: most on the market are deferred maintenance timebombs
replacement Honda Fit: prices have gone up about 3k on average what I paid for mine in 2019 at least for comparable examples near me. hard to swallow paying 9-10k for a fit with 100k+ on the clock.
New WRX: I really don't like the idea of financing when I'm so young but subaru is running a 2.9% apr incentive if you finance a 2022 which is likely a better rate than anything else I can get, even with a good credit score for my age range. these cars have pretty good residuals which is a plus. quite literally a good one 20 mins away from me. insurance will probably be a nightmare, so I think that knocks this out of the list. quite ugly but checks off a lot of the tickboxes.
I can do basic maintenance. if a car is manual, would prefer if it's easy to learn on (never owned a manual car before).
is it best to just buy a shitty beater and wait out this market? it seems like everything for sale right now is 3-5k above what I thought was reasonable. makes me understand why so many people are buying new right now
​

Dunno if y'all will like this, or if it will even remain up, but a bit of a DISCLAIMER; The first chapter is more akin to a prologue than an actual part of a story, but it is required for the story to make sense, as the story needs a lot of world building and explanation for everything to work out, and unless y'all wanna be confused for the next three chapters, then I suggest you read, unless you aren't interested of course. Oh yeah, it was so long that I needed to post the first chapter in multiple parts, so get comfy, and prepare to read almost forty pages in total.
​
​
​
Chapter One - Part One
Extremely Lengthy Exposition
​
​
​
​
​
He didn’t know how to describe it.
A sort of lucid state in which he was only partially aware of who and what he was? Maybe. A condition of some sort of brain death, it being a result of gazing upon an entity far too complex for the human mind to ever even dream of conceiving? Perhaps. Or maybe it was a sign. A sign from whatever gods or higher beings that were our forefathers, our creators. The very things that created the universe, and all others as we know it. Perhaps it was a sign from Them, of his ascension, his final evolution into a being so superior, that to others, he could be considered a god himself. Yes, that was right. He could feel it, the power. Not in a way of touching something with a hand, but in a more metaphysical way, one far better than the crude grasping tools that humanity has had to work with for far too long.
It was so close, the innate understanding that was intrinsically tied into the human genome from eons ago, the inheritance he was meant to receive, what he DESERVED to receive, was right there. All he had to do was reach out, and touch it. He did just that, his mental probes extending outwards towards it, to claim what was rightfully his. He closed his fingers around it, and-
“Jacob, wake up. The doctor is trying to say something to you.”
Or it could just all be a construct of his dying brain, one that was futilely trying to sort the things that he was experiencing into something that could be translated and read.
“Jacob?” His mother repeated, with a more stern note entering her voice.
“Oh uh, sorry. What were you trying to say?” Jacob leaned forward, clasping his hands together, placing his elbows on his knees and leaning on his arms.
“I was asking you how you’ve been feeling recently, as it does pertain to the conversation I am having with your parents.” The doctor smiled patiently, expertly hiding most of his probable frustration behind a veneer of placidity.
“Relatively well, though I have been having a good amount of headaches, considerably more than usual.” Jacob responded, plastering a nonchalant expression onto his face.
“And what about that little . . . episode you had a moment ago?” The doctor questioned, leaning forward expectantly.
“Oh yeah, that. I guess I just kinda zoned out there for a second, you know?” Jacob replied casually.
“Zoned out for over half an hour?” The doctor tilted his head.
“Yep.” Jacob wasn’t going to fall for the bait.
“Hmm.” The doctor leaned back. “Well, I'm fairly sure that ‘zoning out’ for over half an hour with absolutely no idea what's going on in the outside world isn’t exactly normal behavior typical for a boy of your age, Jacob. Did you perchance have any sort of feeling that you can’t explain, or something similar to an out of body experience? It could even just be similar to lucid dreaming.” The doctor appears to be very insistent, Jacob, why don’t you take care of him? You could be out of state within a day or tw-
“Well when you put it like that, sure.” Jacob decided that he would indeed play the doctor’s game.
“Hmm. Well Mrs. Pattine, you heard it from him. When we did our testing last week, we noticed extremely irregular brain patterns that would normally indicate extreme stress upon the brain. However, Jacob here seemed perfectly fine, aside from a rather annoying headache.”
“Now, I’m fairly sure that anybody could deduce that that type of behavior from the brain isn’t good at all. In fact, the tumor that we had diagnosed Jacob the same week, being practically the size of a peanut, has now doubled in size. In fact, the growth appears to be scaling upwards in terms of the growth rate. What was doubling in size per week, will quickly grow to quadrupling, and then quintupling. Soon, Jacob will have to undergo intense chemotherapy.”
Jacob’s mother did not seem placated, like what the doctor was trying to do, but in fact appalled.
“Why are you saying all this in front of him!? He’s just a child for damn sake!” Jacob's mother clutched Jacob tighter, much to his both amusement and frustration after she refused to let go.
“I’m sorry Mrs. Pattine, but all parties involved here have to know what’s at stake here, including young Jacob here.” The doctor, to his credit, did seem genuinely remorseful, yet not really backtracking enough to make an effective apology, more like creating a plausible justification for his actions.
Jacob didn’t really care either way. Well, he did care that he was probably going to die and was thankful that the doctor had decided to be blunt, but not caring about his mother’s rather extreme outburst in his supposed defense.
That had been the case as of late, not really caring about his loved ones. Well, he DID care, at least he thought he did, but why did they always have to be just, so, well, like that all the time? Jacob was rather exasperated from the whole ordeal, and plus, the doctor was talking again.
“-however, we have a solution to this problem of Jacob’s.” The doctor reached out to the briefcase on the table to his right, opening it. He then extracted what appeared to be a syringe filled with clear liquid.
“This is a prototype we, us being ANTI, have been working on for a long time. You might have learned what this is from various pop culture and media sources, but if you don’t, I’ll explain what it is now.” Without giving anybody in the room time to protest, he continued on.
“This is a syringe full of nanobots. Yes, honest-to-god, genuine nanobots. We’ve been working on these for a good amount of time, since around 2000, yet no significant headway had been made towards making a nanobot serum cost-effective enough to employ in more, liberal, uses.”
“However, when Russia annexed Crimea back in 2014, Congress decided that a viable threat was rising, and revived the program with a stimulant called cold hard cash. When another budget increase came with the Russian invasion of Ukraine, it didn’t exactly hinder us, and a year later, we came up with the first effective prototype of nanotechnological biological cellular regeneration to date. And now, we're gonna give it to Jacob.”
Mrs. Pattine didn’t appear to care about all of the war stuff or fancy political words, only really catching onto the words of, “give it to Jacob” and responded accordingly.
“I don’t believe it. What's the catch?” Mrs. Pattine glared suspiciously at the doctor.
“No catch, just the requirement that we are given full liberty to experiment on the tumor in Jacob’s head, within legal bounds.” The doctor appears to be trying to brush over that fact, but Mrs. Pattine also catches onto the important bits.
“You want to experiment on my son!? That sounds like a pretty big catch to me!” Mrs. Pattine screeches in protest.
“It’ll be within full humane laws, nothing illegal, I promise you. In fact, we’ll give you even more incentive.” The doctor pauses, seemingly for dramatic effect.
“So, out with it!” Mrs. Pattine seems to be quite stressed, and most likely wants nothing more than to just go home already.
“We will give you a sum of thirty million dollars, with no tax put on it.” The doctor says plainly.
Mrs. Pattine doesn’t react for a moment, seemingly processing what she just heard.
“Th-th-thirty million dollars!?” Mrs. Pattine splutters in disbelief. “You can’t be serious!”
The doctor chuckles. “Oh but I am. We’ll place it directly into your bank account, as liquid assets would likely be hard to manage for you. It’ll even be covered by insurance.”
Mrs. Pattine clearly is still suspicious. “This is too good to be true.”
“I can assure you, Mrs. Pattine, it is not.”
She looks unsure as to whether or not to take the deal, and looks at Jacob.
“Go ahead.” Jacob shrugs, hoping to maybe NOT die.
Mrs. Pattine then gets up. “I need to go over this with my family.”
They accepted the deal.
* * *
Three days later, Jacob was inside a chamber packed with men and women in lab coats, all of them seeming to be doing something important. The room was about twenty feet in diameter and in height, circular, with a large ten-foot-high blast door being the only intentional access point that could be used to enter the chamber. A large secure industrial vent was inset into the ceiling, also covered with a steel mesh to prevent something from getting in, or perhaps out. In the center of it all was a large contraption, with many pipes, hoses, and wires protruding from various access ports around the machine. It all seemed a bit too militaristic for a minor cryo experiment, but what did he know?
On the front of the machine in the center of the room was a thick plastic cover that exposed the interior, the interior being a cavity about eight feet tall and two feet wide. It appeared to have been designed to allow a human to rest upright inside the machine, and rest comfortably to boot, utilizing a foam mold to mimic a bed. In fact, the little foam mold appears to be fitted to Jacob’s exact dimensions. Jacob, being the ever-curious fellow, inquired as to what the strange doohickey.
“So uh, what am I looking at here?” Jacob gestured to the machine in the center of the room.
“This is, for all intents and purposes, a cryo pod. It can effectively freeze a human being, preserving them for extended periods of time, without them growing or aging at all.” The doctor, who appeared to be in charge of this whole ordeal, answered him.
“And you’re putting me in there?” Jacob asked.
“Yes. We are hoping to learn more about that little tumor-that-isn’t-a-tumor in your head, as it's something that we haven’t ever seen before. Since the tumor is progressing at an alarmingly fast pace, and since we don’t want you to die, we will be placing you in this for a single year, on the dot. The freeze will stop the progression of the tumor, and the nanobots will keep you in top shape even if something goes wrong with the pod, and they will even combat the tumor, so you aren’t in any danger.” The doctor replied.
“Huh. And you’re gonna find some sort of miracle cure for the tumor while I’m on ice?” Jacob asked, wanting to get all of the essential information.
“Yes.” The doctor didn’t elaborate this time.
“Uh, cool. So we’re starting now? I was wondering why I was in this weird looking wetsuit thingy.” Jacob pulled at his sleeves, the tightness of them a little uncomfortable.
“Yes. Once the specs have been fully calibrated, we can place you in the pod, and you can say goodnight.” The doctor nodded to himself. “Yes, it should only be ten more minutes.”
* * *
Fifteen minutes later, a bit over schedule, everything was set up. Jacob was standing in front of the cryo pod, talking to one of the doctors.
“So I just step inside, right?” Jacob inquired.
“Correct you are. We’ll strap you up, run diagnostics, and then see you in t- a year.” The lady, Dr. Sophia Vasel by her nametag, appeared to have stopped herself from saying something was either a simple misspoken word, or something she wasn’t supposed to say. It didn’t really matter to Jacob, since you could just kill her, now and be done with it. It would be so easy, to ju-
“Alright, nice.” Jacob stepped up inside, a little stepladder conveniently set into the machine. He turned around and shifted a little, trying to get comfortable. Dr. Vasel and one other doctor began strapping him in, hooking little electrodes and wires up to him to do all sorts of technical mumbo jumbo. After a minute of attaching devices to him and making sure everything was in order, they began to run diagnostics to make sure everything electronic was working. After an agonizingly long ten minutes of affirming and reaffirming, the first doctor that he had met with walked up to the plastic clear door with a microphone in his hand.
“Can you hear me Jacob?” The doctor asked.
“Yeh.” Jacob replied lamely
“Uhm, OK, it seems like everything is alright on our side, so without further ado, I think we’ll be seeing you in a year.” The doctor nodded to his colleagues next to him, and they started to press buttons on the console. A loud alarm started blaring, and a hissing noise spread throughout the pod. Devices began to inject what was probably some sort of powerful anesthetic, considering he began feeling extremely drowsy a moment later.
The last thing he saw before he fell asleep was the plastic cover being coated in frost.
* * *
Three weeks after that, a government official of the program that had taken Jacob Pattine in for treatment and experimentation contacted the Pattine family to offer their condolences, as they had to inform them that due to a malfunction in the systems of the nanobots, Jacob Pattine had unfortunately died in testing, and that they hoped this won’t sour relations between them.
However, it did sour relations between them, as the subsequent lawsuit against them proved all too well. It had even progressed to a Supreme Court case called Pattine v Army Nanotechnological Initiative, which ended up with a seventy-two million dollar payment towards the Pattines, and a ruling that outlawed any and all with the use and/or experimentation on humans with nanotechnology, as it was deemed too dangerous to use on humans. A deep-dive into the records of the ANTI yielded many discoveries, the most notable of them being the many deaths of humans in the testing trials of the nanobots. This also led to the dissolution of the ANTI, and shaped the future of nanotechnology for years to come.
However, using nanobots for the use on humans didn’t stop there. In fact, some would say it thrived, just in a different way than imagined. Like many other creations that were found to be too radical or immoral for the majority of the populace, the CIA was the one to collect the scraps, and make it their own. By using their own funding to revive the unofficially named Nano-Cryo project, they resumed research, employing many of the original members of the infamous project, with the doctor being put back in charge of the currently unnamed project.
That left only Jacob to deal with. Luckily for him, Jacob wasn’t so disposable as some might believe, as certain conditions on his being made his potential quite desirable to some shadowy heads of certain organizations. This led to the CIA creating a cover story about the unfortunate death of the boy, which would allow them to both obtain the asset, and snip off the loose thread that was ANTI, killing two birds with one stone. They continued testing within CIA Black Site-046, which was located within the city known as New Jersey, which would later influence the name of the secretive project.
One more alteration would be made to the test. As Jacob had now been cut off from the outside world and was presumed dead, the CIA had no worry about public retribution, allowing them to extend his period in the cryo pod from one year to ten. At the end of the ten years, Jacob would be woken up from stasis, and testing would be enacted, with various procedures analyzing how his physiology had reacted to the tumor and the extended stay in cryostasis. The nanobots were there to ensure that Jacob didn’t die from the tumor, but also to make sure he didn’t die from the long periods of time spent sleeping. After twenty-four hours had passed, Jacob would be placed back within the cryo pod, and be woken up again when another ten years had passed, with this cycle repeating for the foreseeable future.
In the development of the cryostasis model, one thing had persisted throughout the trials. When the testers had been subjected to extended periods of time within stasis, once unfrozen, the brain would refuse to reactivate. No matter what measures were taken, the brain would simply not resume biological function, and the subject would be effectively dead. The leading theory on this was that the brain had been “dead” for so long, that it simply couldn’t remember that it was alive. This is the same reason why cavemen, even if perfectly preserved in ice, couldn’t be simply revived with a shock paddle or some adrenaline.
So, the nanobots were there to stimulate and keep the brain semi-active during time spent sleeping, keeping the brain alive through the barest of actions, making it more akin to sleep instead of simply dying and then being revived with a perfectly preserved body and brain. However, this led to the tumor being slightly active as well, so it would still progress while within stasis, albeit at an incredibly glacial pace. This would likely cause problems in the future, but a solution is bound to come up at some point.
Right?
* * *
Invariably.
What an interesting word
And a nice one at that. It really just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? A word that most people probably can’t even recall the meaning of, yet is seen so commonly in works that are often above the skill of your average eighth grader. It means for something to happen a lot, or always. For instance, you could say, “Oh, whenever I go to my friend's house, the meals his mother makes are invariably burnt.” or something along those lines.
Jacob couldn’t apply that word to his situation.
That would imply that he had been doing or experiencing something for long enough that he could use that word as a hyperbole. However, he hadn’t. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Imagine blinking your eyes. Now try to recall how long the moment between opening your eyes and the light reaching your eyes was. Now that's a more accurate comparison.
Right when Jacob closed his eyes, he had been hearing a hissing sound, expecting sleep to take him. Then a slight, rather odd blip in his awareness caused him to lose his bearings for a moment, but quickly regained them. The hissing continued, and became rather annoying after a bit, considering the nasty headache he currently had. Did he have that before he entered the pod? He wasn’t sure, but he was having a hard time remembering his last moments before he entered the machine, which was odd, as that was just a moment ago. Oh, now the hissing noise is stopping, so Jacob guessed that the doctors realized there was a problem, and were now spooling down the machine to take him out before something disastrous happened.
The hissing noise stopped, and the sound of pistons groaning filled the small cavity instead, along with a notable difference in the positioning of the cryo pod door, specifically moving upward. Ah, now the door is opening, fantastic. Jacob hoped that he could just get this damn experiment underway, without any more delays.
Goddamn the door is slow. At least he could see somewhat outside, as the door had opened up enough to let him see the feet of two people standing outside his little home. Actually, scratch that, three people standing outside, as the door had opened more up to let him see a third person standing behind the pair that were closest to him. He blinked several times to clear the fog from his eyesight, his eyeballs feeling pretty cold, as if he had spent a little in pure winter weather with his eyes open, letting them freeze a bit. Matter of fact, as feeling returned to his body, he felt cold all over. Not so cold that it was painful, but more of a cool uncomfortableness.
Speaking of feeling returning to his body, he felt a rather unpleasant prickling sensation throughout himself, like his entire body had fallen asleep, or if he had just returned from the cold after a long stay in the frigid winter air. He flexed his fingers, or at least tried to. His fingers were encased in a hard plastic glove, molded to fit his hand. It was the same story with the rest of his body, many straps fastened tight enough to restrict his movement, but not enough to restrict his blood flow. He tried to see more than the feet of the unknown people in front of him, as the door was open about halfway now, but the fog, or maybe steam, wafting up from his pod was masking everything else.
Oh yeah, the hissing was back too.
After another eternity of the door just slowly opening, the long-awaited event finally arrived. The door clanked to a stop, now resting somewhere on top of the cryo pod. The hissing noise also came to a stop, seeming to have been the cause of the fog as well, considering how it began to clear up with the end of the abhorrent hissing sound. The fog cleared up fully, allowing him to see a rather strange sight.
Three people in full hazmat suits were standing in front of him, one of the two in front holding an odd device that looked vaguely like a heart monitor. The one with the heart monitor stepped up to him, uttering a single word.
“Please hold still.”
Jacob naturally held still as the person wrapped a sensor on his wrist, then one on his neck. The man then pressed a few buttons on his little machine, and then watched some sort of readout on the screen that Jacob couldn’t make out from his angle. The man stayed like that for about half a minute before taking off the little sensors from his wrist and neck, and then put the device down on some sort of table that Jacob also couldn’t see due to his angle, before nodding to the man beside him.
The pair moved into action, unstrapping and unclamping him in various areas around his body, unrestricting his movement. Jacob didn’t move yet though, as once the pair were done taking off the various inhibitors, the third man in the back stepped up, as if he wanted to speak. The unnamed man grabbed the bottom of his visor, where a small lip was present. The man then used that lip to pull up the plastic covering his face, or at least the layer that was preventing Jacob from seeing his face. The man pulled it up, revealing the doctor, who’s name he still didn’t know. However, something was off about him, though Jacob couldn’t put his finger on it.
“Long time no see Jacob.” The doctor smiles disarmingly, which makes Jacob beg the question of why he would need to be disarmed.
“What do you mean, ‘Long time’? It hasn’t even been half an hour.” Jacob frowns, tilting his head questioningly, though Jacob is pretty sure he already knows the answer to his own question.
The doctor’s smile wavers, and his eyes turn downcast, avoiding Jacob’s.
“Well, ah, you see Jacob, it HAS been a long time. I imagine you just didn’t notice, due to no little input on our part.”
Suddenly, Jacob realized what was off about the doctor. When he had seen him last, the doctor had a look about him that made him seem like he could be in his early thirties or late twenties, with a little margin for error, of course.
However, The doctor now looked like he had aged around a decade, sporting a few new wrinkles that definitely weren’t there before. Instead of being a man just entering his more mature ages, he looked more like a man entering a higher, more responsible position in your standard American technical corporation. To put it shortly, he looked like he was in his forties.
“So you're saying that it's been a year already, and I was just too out of it to notice?” The doctor winced, and opened up his mouth to speak, but Jacob continued talking.
“However, I have noticed that while you said I was supposed to be in here for a year, the actual reality is different. Unless you somehow had a growth spurt, or decided that looking older was a new fashion trend, it's odd that you seem to have aged a decade in what was supposed to be a year of stasis.” Jacob tilted his head, focusing a stare on the doctor. “Tell me, doctor, how long was I out?”
The pair in front of him, having been listening this whole time, looked back at the doctor expectantly. The doctor shook his head, and attempted a smile, though the result looked more like a pained grimace. The doctor then looked up at Jacob, giving him a strange look.
“Noticed that, did you? Well, I suppose you do deserve an explanation. Let's talk about this in a more, comfortable, area.”
* * *
Jacob fixed the doctor with another bland stare for the fifteenth time in four minutes.
“So you’re telling me, that the damn CIA kidnapped me, your government organization was dissolved, and now I’m officially dead to the outside world? Not to mention I was asleep for not a year, but a decade?” Jacob said all of this with a tone that might have implied disbelief and anger.
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds, well, exactly like what happened I suppose, but I wouldn’t put it, well, any sort of other way, so yes.” The doctor, contrary to the facade he was still bravely trying to put up, didn’t appear too comfortable with telling Jacob all of this. After all, who would want to tell an innocent, carefree, bright-eyed young boy, that his family thought him dead, and that he was asleep for a decade as well.
Jacob leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and breathed out the air he had been holding in.
“Huh.” Jacob didn’t elaborate.
“I’m sure that this might be very alarming to you, but remember that this wasn’t in our control. I’m very sorry for your loss, but just know that we do have therapists and other people that you can talk to on hand, just let us know.” The doctor didn’t seem very proud of this series of unfortunate events happening to the aforementioned carefree child.
“Well, as long as they aren’t dead yet, I’ll be fine.” Jacob shrugs.
The doctor blinks in surprise.
“I- what? Are you sure? Your mental health is very important, and despite what our higher ups at the CIA might say, you are also important as a person.” The doctor had an increasingly worried expression on his face.
“Nah, I think I’m pretty good for now.” Jacob remained seemingly uncaring for his current status as perceived dead by his family, or for his mental health. “So, what happens to me now? I’m assuming I’m not getting executed for lack of further usefulness, or else you wouldn’t be offering me therapists, and I’m not exactly going back out into society, as that would be a rather awkward situation for the CIA. So, that leaves only one more avenue of action.” Jacob leaned forward. “I’m going back in the machine, aren’t I?”
“. . . yes.” The doctor seemed put off by Jacob’s lengthy statement.
Jacob leaned back and nodded, satisfied by his answer. “I have just one question then.”
The doctor cocked an eyebrow.
“Why am I so important? Plenty of people have brain tumors, and yet you guys aren’t kidnapping those people, right? So, what makes this one special?” Jacob tapped the side of his head.
The doctor cleared his throat, seemingly more comfortable to be conversing over a topic more familiar to him, like neuroscience.
“I can do that. Follow me.”
* * *
The doctor led Jacob to a room with only one other person inside, that person being an assistant. The lights were off, the only source of illumination being a projector shining on a blank whiteboard, the image being an x-ray of what looked like a brain.
“Well, as I’ve said before, that so-called tumor in your head isn’t exactly behaving like a tumor normally would. In the beginning, when it first appeared, it looked like any old brain tumor, forming in your cerebral cortex. It grew a bit abnormally, but nothing too out of the ordinary.” The doctor pointed at a small marble sized mass that was present inside the aforementioned section of the brain on the projection. “However, that's when things took a turn for the stranger.” The doctor motioned for the assistant to switch to the next slide, which he did.
The diagram now showed the same image as before, which Jacob now knew to be his brain, with the sole difference being that the mass had now enlarged, seemingly spreading what looked like feelers or tentacles outwards, the longest one stretching towards a middle section of the brain.
“After this happened, we were notified through plants, and we took over your medical case, observing the growth of your tumor.” The slide switched again, now showing a larger tumor. It had grown even more feelers, now numbering at five, and the longest one was now in the middle of the brain.
“The tumor had spread itself out, and the longest appendage of it had now entered what we call the anterior insular cortex, or, “ The doctor looked at Jacob. “the empathy center.”
Jacob stared back at the doctor, not showing any outward form of reaction. The doctor looked back towards the projection, clearing his throat.
“Ahem, anyway. As you can probably guess, this was highly irregular behavior from what was supposed to be a simple tumor. And what we realized next was even more shocking.” The assistant clicked to the next slide, this one showing . . . nothing.
Actually, it did show something, Jacob just didn’t notice at first. The tumor was now not a simple mass, but instead had somehow become, fainter, he supposed. It didn’t have any clear separation from his brain, instead, only sections could be made out from the former tumor. It seemed like it had merged with his brain, which wasn’t exactly comforting to Jacob.
“The tumor now couldn’t be described as a simple tumor. We had to deduce that it had somehow become part of your brain, as we couldn’t find any clear definition of where the tumor began and where it ended. We could still technically see the tumor, though it was like it had faded its edges in with your brain, merging with it.” The assistant shut off the projector, and turned the lights back on.
The doctor turned back towards Jacob, with what looked to be a sympathetic expression on his face.
“Now I hope you understand why we want to know what the hell this thing is. If this was some sort of parasite, and if it could spread . . “ The doctor let Jacob figure out the rest on his own.
“Huh, yeah. I wouldn’t really want the world to turn into a reenactment of a certain hit TV adaptation of a certain hit zombie game.” Jacob nodded. “So, how are you gonna go about solving, “ Jacob gestured haphazardly to his head. “This?”
“We . . . aren’t sure yet.” The doctor grimaced. “However, it has only been, well, it's been quite awhile, but we learned a lot from the first go around. We are hoping to gain more data from the next decade, with some new technologies to be used.”
Jacob nodded his head, looking around. “So do I just go back in now?”
“No, actually. The planned procedure is to keep you awake for a minimum of twelve hours, with us taking several tests to determine if any changes have been made to your mental or intellectual state. And also, you are going to have to visit some therapists, that's non-optional.” The doctor replied.
Jacob only grunted in response to that last statement.
* * *
Jacob is running on a treadmill, with several devices measuring his various functions.
“Just let us know when you’re getting tired.” The man, Dr. Markus Vasquez by his nametag, repeated for the fifth time.
“And that would be right around now, actually.” Jacob stopped running when Dr. Vasquez pressed the off button.
“Hmm, alright. You’re operating at standard rates for a boy of your age.” Dr. Vasquez writes down notes on his clipboard, probably about him. Or maybe some sort of weird fan fiction about some US president, you never know.
Dr. Vasquez motioned for Jacob to follow him, which Jacob does.
“And that should conclude your physical testing regimen for today.” Dr. Vasquez leads Jacob into a square room about six feet wide, with a couch, a chair, two tables, a bookshelf, and a TV on the wall opposite from the couch.
Then, another doctor walks into the room, holding a clipboard and a sheet of papers. Dr. Vasquez and the new doctor share a few silent words, ones that Jacob can’t make out, before Dr. Vasquez walks out of the room. The new doctor, a Dr. Sophia Vasel by her nametag, sits down on the chair next to the couch.
“Hey again Jacob. I’m here to-” Dr. Vasel begins, but Jacob cuts her off.
“Oh wait, aren’t you one of the people who strapped me in that pod a decade ago?” Jacob tilts his head questioningly.
Dr. Vasel blinks. “Erm, yes. Anyway, I’m just here to give you a couple tests, alright? Just standard procedure.” Dr. Vasel flips through her clipboard. “Here is the first one.”
Jacob started again. “No signing any forms or asking for consent or anything?”
Dr. Vasel hid her apparent frustration admirably. “Uh, no. Our policy doesn’t require us to do that. Anyway, if we could get on with the test?” Dr. Vasel pulled out a pen. “Just some questions for the first one.”
* * *
Jacob was a bit bored.
Actually, that was an understatement. He was VERY bored. There, a much more apt statement.
After a large amount of rigorous testing, physical, mental, biological, the whole shebang, they had basically left him in the small room and told him to entertain himself for the remaining eight hours, twenty-seven minutes, and five seconds. After that, he would be going back into cryosleep. They gave him access to a good amount of literature from his time, as well as giving him a rather generous library of online media, also from his time. However, they had severely underestimated his preferences, as the majority of the online material consisted of children for the age of ten, and all the good books he had already read several times over.
So yes, he was quite bored. So bored, in fact, that even pacing around and thinking couldn’t sate his hunger for entertainment, as the intense migraine he had prevented him from running any sort of complicated scenario that could even mildly entertain him. So, he was forced to turn to his old friend.
History.
A decade ought to have yielded a good amount of entertaining historical fruit, especially when you consider the rather hot pot that was world politics at the time of the beginning of his short nap. So, he had requested a book that recapped everything important that had happened in the last ten years. And how interesting it was.
Standing out the most in terms of the global stage, the American intervention in the Russo-Ukrainian war, pushing the Russians not just out of Ukraine, but also reclaiming Crimea for the Ukrainians as well. This had happened due to Russia repeatedly threatening to use nuclear weapons in the war, and so America finally had to intervene, managing to push them out of Ukraine in just two and a half months. And it seems Russia was bluffing, as no nukes were ever launched.
However, war wasn’t the only highlight of the last decade, as a miniature space race actually occurred not between the East and the West, but SpaceX and NASA were both racing for the clout and money that being the first to have a human land on Mars would be. It ended up with a SpaceX victory, and not a small amount of a budget increase.
Nanotechnology had also progressed, yet not as much as other avenues, as it's mostly been used for small-scale construction supposedly. Congress was being quite strict on the Supreme Court’s ruling. However, some small advancements had been made in the effectiveness and build of a standard nanobot, making them considerably cheaper and easier to make. However, the availability of nanobots was mostly limited to either private firms or large corporations willing to invest in the product.
As entertaining as history was, it wasn’t enough to sustain him for more than an hour, so he resigned himself to sitting, standing, pacing, and occasionally watching kids cartoons for the rest of his time. He wasn’t going to ask for his benefactors to obtain some new content for him to watch, not because they couldn’t, no, they likely could do anything, but because his pride would be too injured if he did. Yes, a truly brilliant mind we have here.
* * *
“This feels familiar.” Jacob mused, his words certainly pertaining to the scenario that he was currently in.
Dr. Vasel and another doctor were strapping him in, securing his hands and feet in molded plastic to restrict movement, and straps to secure his arms and legs. This time, a little hat with a dozen blinking electrodes was added to his menagerie of devices. They had also given him a fresh edition of nanobots, these ones supposedly more efficient by two percent. Yes, such a great increase. However, they also fed off the energy his own body produced, so that theoretically gave them an infinite life, as long as he was alive.
The doctors finished up strapping him into the machine, giving him a final once over to make sure nothing bad happens again. They stepped back, and began to run diagnostics on their computers to make sure everything electronic was in order as well.
Jacob sighed. He had a feeling that this set of actions would become an agonizingly long procedure.
After a very long fifteen minutes, the unnamed doctor, who had come down during the diagnostics, nodded to an assistant, and he began pressing buttons. The machine clicked and hissed, and the door came down, blissfully quicker this time. After just thirty seconds, the door sealed shut, and Jacob saw the doctor through the plastic. The doctor walked out of sight, as the foggy plastic couldn’t see that far, though the doctor clearly went somewhere where he could talk to Jacob, as he heard the doctor’s voice over what sounded like an intercom inside the pod.
“You can hear me, right Jacob?” The doctor asked.
“Uh, yep.” Jacob replied.
“Very good. As there isn’t anything else we have to do on our end, we’ll be sending you off right about now. Any questions before you’re frozen?” The doctor inquired.
“None that I can recall.” Jacob said.
“Then we’ll see you again in ten years.” The doctor said.
The intercom shut off with a crackle, and the hissing noise came back, probably meaning he was gonna fall asleep any time now. He wondered what the world would look like in another decade, bu-
Oh wait, he did have a question. What WAS the doctor’s nam-
-------------------------------
​
Part Two is gonna come, maybe in a day. I've already finished it, but the first part will serve to as a way to observe this communities reactions to this little thing, and see if I should post another. I expect about ten to twenty chapters, with hopefully not all of them being as long as this one, so yeah, hope y'all like this.

Hey peeps, this turned out to be much longer than I expected and I just kinda needed to vent. Hope that's okay. Background: I work for a big electronics shop that runs its own delivery service in western Europe. Delivery is done by bike, it's hard physically demanding work in wind, rain, snow, heat etc and bikers are expected to be available weekdays, evenings, and weekends. The company does not pay anything extra for working evenings, or weekends, or even holidays. The company does award a slight performance based raise every year ranging 3 to 5% but there are no other financial bonuses for good performance. Not even in the shop where sales are made. The shop employees are often induced to get as many sales as possible by getting them to compete with one another for who can get the highest number of sales. The reward for adding all this extra value to the company? A few minutes extra break time. Because the delivery job is physically demanding very few people if any do the job full time. Because of the limited hours it's not really enough to get by on without a second source of income or very low costs of living.
Lately the company has been implementing all sorts of new processes and setting new much tighter targets as well as bike maintenance cutbacks to reduce the costs of the operation. There was a pay raise a little while ago which the company pretended was an act of generosity, but it was because there was a national minimum wage increase coming a month later they would have fallen below if they had not done that, so the supposed generosity was entirely fake. Bikers have become wary of all these changes, they're often implemented hastily with the promises that should the changes result in worse working conditions they can be easily reversed. When it becomes clear the changes do result in worse working conditions, such as constant overtime, breaks being messed etc, it takes weeks, if not months to badger management into undoing them. They're also keenly aware everything is done to extract more labor and more value from them, more time on the bike, more parcels, for the same pay. This has made them predictably cynical and they're not buying into the fake clap-happy corporate "we're such a big happy family!" nonsense that the company tries REALLY hard to placate its low-wage employees with. When another such change predictably fucked up (which both me and the bikers saw coming a mile away) and messed up with biker's break times I kinda lost it. I was mad, they're my team, when I started there I was doing their job, I know how much it can suck. And I let people know I was pissed off.
It was then that I got a call from one of my own supervisors asking why I was being so hostile and negative. And that I was sabotaging my team's morale and setting a "negative tone" and that I was failing at properly selling all the new changes to my team. I told them I can't fool these guys and girls, yeah they're young but they're not stupid. They look right through the corporate bullshit and see that it's all about extracting more from them for the same pay. This made him quite mad and he began wondering out loud whether or not I am committed to the company and if I shouldn't look for another job. I told him I was committed to my team and I saw trying to protect them from management's overreach as one of my most important roles. This...did not go over well and he took it as a personal insult. Thankfully because this is western europe they can't fire me easily, but I bet they're already starting to build their case. Next week's meeting is going to be fun :P

Hey everyone!
I forgot to put location and say that I am looking around the Western USA, but I am open to anywhere!
I'm stepping my foot back into the dating pool and I'm in search of a meaningful connection with someone who shares my appreciation for authenticity, adventure, and laughter. As an overweight, tall guy acknowledging the extra weight I carry, I'm determined to make a positive change by embracing a healthier lifestyle. I like me but want to make changes for my health and longevity.
So I will get into a bit about me. I think the most important thing is to be honest with who you are and where you are at in life. I currently work in IT and while it’s not bad pay and the hours are tolerable, it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am pursuing my loves while continuing to grow my IT portfolio. Which has been creating, whether that be a canvas and paint, a tabletop RPG book, or a model. I like working with my hands.
My free time is often spent indulging in these nerdy hobbies, such as painting, writing, model building, visiting museums, and engaging in tabletop games. While I enjoy discussing these interests, I don't expect my match to share the same passions. Instead, I'm hoping to connect with someone open to exploring our individual interests and weaving them into a colorful tapestry of shared experiences.
Another hiccup for some people is that currently living with family may not be everyone's ideal situation, but for me, it's a conscious decision until I find a path with someone else. I help care for my physically disabled parents, offering them support while benefiting from the sense of community that comes with being part of a close-knit family including my brother and his wife. I'm seeking a kind and caring person who values compassion and understands the importance of family ties. The world can be very judgmental but I am not.
In summary, I'm looking for a genuine connection with someone who isn't afraid to embrace life's adventures and appreciates a good laugh along the way. If the prospect of forging a unique path with a down-to-earth, tech-savvy dork piques your interest, I'd be delighted to hear from you. Together, let's navigate this journey, discovering where it takes us one step at a time.
If you have read this far, I hope you're having an amazing day and find what you are searching for in life and love.

Hey everyone!
I forgot to put location and say that I am looking around the Western USA, but I am open to anywhere!
I'm stepping my foot back into the dating pool and I'm in search of a meaningful connection with someone who shares my appreciation for authenticity, adventure, and laughter. As an overweight, tall guy acknowledging the extra weight I carry, I'm determined to make a positive change by embracing a healthier lifestyle. I like me but want to make changes for my health and longevity.
So I will get into a bit about me. I think the most important thing is to be honest with who you are and where you are at in life. I currently work in IT and while it’s not bad pay and the hours are tolerable, it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am pursuing my loves while continuing to grow my IT portfolio. Which has been creating, whether that be a canvas and paint, a tabletop RPG book, or a model. I like working with my hands.
My free time is often spent indulging in these nerdy hobbies, such as painting, writing, model building, visiting museums, and engaging in tabletop games. While I enjoy discussing these interests, I don't expect my match to share the same passions. Instead, I'm hoping to connect with someone open to exploring our individual interests and weaving them into a colorful tapestry of shared experiences.
Another hiccup for some people is that currently living with family may not be everyone's ideal situation, but for me, it's a conscious decision until I find a path with someone else. I help care for my physically disabled parents, offering them support while benefiting from the sense of community that comes with being part of a close-knit family including my brother and his wife. I'm seeking a kind and caring person who values compassion and understands the importance of family ties. The world can be very judgmental but I am not.
In summary, I'm looking for a genuine connection with someone who isn't afraid to embrace life's adventures and appreciates a good laugh along the way. If the prospect of forging a unique path with a down-to-earth, tech-savvy dork piques your interest, I'd be delighted to hear from you. Together, let's navigate this journey, discovering where it takes us one step at a time.
If you have read this far, I hope you're having an amazing day and find what you are searching for in life and love.

This is a little long, I cut so much out and tried to only leave the information needed for context.
I (34f) have been married to my husband (35m) for 10 years. We did not see his family a lot when we were dating because we were both finishing up college and working. Once we got engaged and started forming our own family things started to go nuts with my In laws, but mainly my MIL.
The first glimpse of hell I saw was with our wedding. She informed us the week of that her family was coming in town from Illinois so neither she nor her husband would be at any events because she had to “host her family”. She did not attend the bridesmaid luncheon, the day off get ready, and did not allow her husband to attend the get ready day with my husband. She also decided that her parents were not going to go to the rehearsal anymore and she was going to push the rehearsal dinner back 45 minutes so her sister could get to the hotel and get a nice nap in. Which caused issues because we set the rehearsal based on the rehearsal dinner time so that would have resulted in all my family and friends (because she made the executive decision that would not be involved in the rehearsal) would have no where to go for 45 minutes. And she then decided they would not come to the venue a little early to get pictures taken. Which she still to this day complains about how she is so sad she didn’t get a picture at our wedding with husbands dad (FIL), my husband, and husbands brother (BIL). Which we ignored because I sent out a detailed photo schedule based on what our photographer told us would work. 3 days before we got married she informed me that she made a seating chart for the rehearsal dinner with place cards without talking to me at all. I asked her to see the seating chart as we have some family members who had contentious divorces and could not be placed at the same table. When she showed me the seating chart she had put every single groomsman at our table and all my bridesmaids at a table away from ours. She put all of her family in primary locations and mine in the back dark corners. And she had the divorced couple and their new spouses at the same table. With me having 3 days before I was getting married I said “no, we can’t do name tags and a seating chart. I don’t have time to deal with re-arranging it. And this arrangement won’t work”. She flipped out. She called my husband threatening him and demanding that he get me in line because she was putting those place cards out. As a 23 year old whose frontal lobe was not fully developed yet I dug my heals in. I told her that if she put the name tags out I would have my bridesmaids gather them up and dispose of them. And she lost it. She was constantly calling and sending text messages berating and cursing at my husband. He ignored the behavior. So she then called the day after we got married and demanded that I meet up with her for lunch so she could have “a conversation about my behavior”. I also later found out that when I did not respond to her, she called my mom (who she does not have a relationship with) and said “I want to get this all fixed. I am very upset she would not do what I wanted. I get people to do what I want them to for a living. And I am very good at it”. To which my mom simply responded “I don’t know what to tell you, you have never had a girl child.” I told my husband and BIL about the message she left me and my BIL (he lived with us at the time) immediately said “You better call her back now and set that up.” To which I said “She is not my mom, she has behaved despicably, and I am about to go on my honeymoon. I will do no such thing.” And he said with a concerned face “You have to call her back or she is going to be very mad. And you don’t want her to be mad. It’s not a good thing.” I kind of laughed it off and thought man my BIL is really dramatic. Well he wasn’t being dramatic. She then proceeded to “punish” me, and continues to do so to this day.
She ostracizes me at any chance she can get. Coordinating and then leaving me out of family pictures, changing the days of vacation plans last minute and “forgetting” to tell us when until it’s to late for me to change my days off as she knows I work in healthcare and have to request days off weeks in advance, and a million other little things that were designed to separate me from their family. Fast forward 5 years and surprise surprise, my husband and I are having marital difficulties. My MIL wrote my husband a letter telling him how she feels divorcing me is the right decision. We go to therapy and we easily fix our marriage. But what therapy did, was shine a bright light for both me and my husband on how dysfunctional his family was, and how that damaged both our marriage and mental health. As well as the childhood trauma my husband has unknowingly been carrying around his whole life. Once my husband got therapy and we presented a United front, she began to punish him as well. This all came to a head at a vacation in NYC in October of 2018. We ended up leaving early and told them that we were no longer interested in having a relationship filled with dysfunction. We told them that coming to therapy with us to work on our communication so we wouldn’t continuously have these issues with them was a non negotiable for continuing our relationship. My MIL lost it, she said she didn’t have time and started a silent treatment. Months went by, no contact from her on my husbands birthday, thanksgiving, Christmas. We had been trying to have a baby for over a year and that December we found out we were pregnant. We were so excited despite all the turmoil with his family. When I was about to be 3 months along, we wanted to announce it to our family and friends publicly on Facebook. We had already told his brother and wife who we had a separate Christmas with. And all of my family already knew. My mom said we could not put that on Facebook without telling his parents first. My FIL was slightly maintaining contact so my husband asked him to meet him for lunch. He told him we were having a baby and I was 3 months along and we were going to publicly announce my pregnancy. Since his mom was still giving us the silent treatment we weren’t sure how to go about that and asked him if he had any ideas on what to do as far as us telling her we were having a baby. He immediately (without our consent as we felt that was rude and wanted to tell her ourself) went home and told her we were having their first grandchild and things really went south then. She called my BIL and berated him for knowing and not telling her. She started sending messages to us saying she was going up to Illinois to see her family and would not be back for a while. No congratulations I might add. From Illinois we started getting messages from her saying that the stocks his grandfather had given him (that he pays the taxes for) were actually hers and he needed to sell them and cash them out and give that money (which she has plenty of money and didn’t need it) to her. She then had her husband drop off the few childhood toys/pictures she had. It was literally 1 small box. And when we kept standing our ground, she FINALLY in February agreed to go to therapy. Well that was a huge mistake. Because she brought her “victim” tears as opposed to the controlling, domineering, manipulative, confident, cold personality she always presents to her family. She refused to acknowledge there were issues and eventually the therapist asked us to have a session with just me and my husband. She told us that his mom was a piece of work who will never change. So we had 2 options; we could end that relationship and likely she would ensure that ended my husbands relationship with any extended family, his dad, and brother. Or we could engage in minimal contact with her while setting strong boundaries with a United front. And if she violates them, Follow through with the consequence stated for the boundary every time she violated one. But that having a normal 2 way relationship with her was probably not likely. And to put this in further perspective, I was pregnant this whole time we are dealing with them. And once they started therapy and she was so awful during the sessions my husband was having continuous and valid meltdowns mourning the loss of ever having a functional relationship with his mom and dad. Their antics continued through out almost my entire pregnancy. It took a toll on my health and I ended up with pre eclampsia and subsequently hemorrhaged after an emergency c section and almost died giving birth. At the insistence of my mom and also because it’s hard to believe that any human is irredeemable we decided to take the boundary setting path.
Things were actually really good for bit when our daughter was an infant. They remained involved and did not play any of the terrible games they did in the past. We were so happy and thought ok maybe it was us. We just didn’t know how to set boundaries. About a year and a half later my SIL (who is an angel on earth and I absolutely adore) got pregnant and had a baby. We were so excited our kids would be close in age and that they lived only 20 minutes away. But apparently my MIL saw that as her opportunity to grow a relationship with her other son who previously did not engage with her like that as a means to punish my husband and I. She would come into town and keep their baby, buying the baby things, buying them things, and really pouring into their child and them. And I guess having a replacement grandchild and son effectively removed her motivation to have a healthy relationship with her oldest son. And it also gave her another tool to use to inflict pain, upset, and turmoil on my husband and me and effectively our child. We continued maintaining our boundaries (which aren’t many) cheerfully but firmly. And this was working until January of this year.
My SIL confided in me that my BIL was not being involved enough with parenting and that resulted in her essentially being a single parent. And that she wanted another baby, but refused to have one with him unless they were closer to family so they could help her with the kids. I adore her and my nephew so much, so without thinking I immediately went to work trying to help them find a good house in our area. We ended up helping my BIL and SIL get a house in our fairly small (100 houses) neighborhood. It is a very nice and unique neighborhood with large lots that are not typical in our area. The houses typically don’t have to be put on the market to be sold because it is such a desirable neighborhood/school district. We did not fully think this through, as our relationship and issues with his parents have always been so separate from our relationship with his brothewife. Mainly because him and his brother don’t have a relationship because my MIL designed it that way. But my SIL and I do. But things have started to change recently.
In January of this year they moved into their new home. And that’s when all the issues cranked back up. It came out that they gave them $250,000 to be able to afford this home. Not loaned, gave. And said it was an inheritance from his grandparents who just died. They gave us $100,000. It is very generous of them, but an indicator of how grossly disproportionate the relationship is. It also became very clear how much time, energy, and money my MIL was pouring into my BIL/SIL. Which my SIL reports is new and somewhat odd behavior. Some of the glaring disparity we have noticed; most of which has occurred since January are as follows. She will come over while they were at work and do their yard work. Which we only knew about because she called us repeatedly asking to use our yard tools for their yard. Which is the first call we received from her in 3 months. Our daughter got sick and got pneumonia, she found out when visiting my nephew because my SIL mentioned it. She called to see how our daughter was and said “I’m not going to come over because I don’t want to get your sickness.” Then literally 2 hours later she was at their house playing with/taking care of our nephew who actively had a fever because he had the same sickness from playing with our daughter. We regularly pass her in the neighborhood leaving their home, yet we hear nothing. They buy our nephew t-shirts when they go on vacations and say they don’t get them for our daughter because my brother sends a bunch of his child’s hand me down play cloths for my daughter. They take him to parks, breakfasts, and events. She bought our child a $25 gift from Marshall’s for our baby shower and our nephew a $200 bouncer. She demanded we take our car seat out and put it in her car so she could take our daughter around when she was going to watch her one morning. My husband explained how hard it was to get them in and out and that my mom had bought a car seat for her car for that reason. She refused, until our nephew came around. Then she immediately went out and got a car seat. We offered to let her keep our daughter overnight when things were good because I didn’t want it to hurt her feelings that my parents get (they are very involved, healthy, loving grandparents and surrogate parents for my husband) her one night a week. And she told us “Oh no, I’m not going to keep any kids here until they are night potty trained and sleeping through the night”. But what she really meant is she isn’t going to keep our child unless she is night potty trained and sleeping through the night. Because she keeps our nephew overnight regularly. Who is not day or night potty trained. Our daughter has been day potty trained since 18months and night potty trained since she was 3. This has also shed some negative light on my FIL as well. We do not see him unless it’s a holiday. And the excuse is always that he golfs 3 days a week at the club and 2 of those days (mondays and fridays) are the days I don’t work and our daughter is home so that they can come (and my MIL does, used to be about 1x a month until this most recent silent treatment) so that’s why he never comes with her. Yet now we see that he is regularly at my BILs house on Friday’s who also doesn’t work on fridays. When our child was little she did not have much to do with my FIL when she saw him because she couldn’t remember him, and he actively admitted “well she doesn’t ever really see me, it’s ok”. Yet he has ensured that he has a relationship with our nephew, and makes sure he gets time in with him. I admit that there has been tension, and I am not one to “fall in line” because someone tells me I should. I have read many of these threads, and she has employed almost all of the tactics that a narcissist and emotionally immature person would use to maintain control. Keeping tax documents, using money/gifts to punish or reward compliance, huge disparity in treatment of one son/his family vs her other son (my husband), unannounced drop bys, leaving SOs out, playing the victim when she gets caught, gifting awful gifts and demanding you display them, playing siblings against each other, and on and on. I have always wanted a big and close family, coming from a small one myself. Yet rejection, pain, and stress is all I have gotten. And we tolerated it prior to it being so continuously rubbed in our face thinking it was cruel to deny our daughter access to her grandparents. We have held on to this relationship because until recently they had not been bad grandparents, and seemed to really love and care for our daughter. And we felt that by going no contact we were removing our daughters chance to make her own decision about her grandparents. But at this point, even our 3.5 year old daughter is noticing that they don’t visit her. And now that my husbands brother lives in our neighborhood that makes things so much more complicated. Can we even go no contact with them? What will we tell our child when she sees her grandparents passing us in the neighborhood? Or her uncle/aunt/cousin, because I feel strongly his mother will not allow his brother to have a relationship with us if we don’t have one with her. And she has a $250,000 guilt trip to hang over his head. Because recently things have gotten a little weird with our BIL/SIL since they moved in and my husbands mom has been around them so much. Our daughter has also formed a relationship with my BIL/SIL and cousin. She loves them so much. This is so distressing, and has been a point of contention and stress since the day we got married. And now that we have a child who we let know them, it feels like an impossible situation to get out of. On top of the whole we physically can’t get away from them now that my BIL/SIL live in our neighborhood. Any advice, insight, or encouragement would be so appreciated. Or if you have any ideas for how to keep the relationship with my BIL and SIL if we decide to go no contact with his parents? Thank you so much if you made this far!

What do you guys think about this?

[WP] The Elven Kingdoms call their old allies the Humans for aid. Expecting medieval armies, they get a modern 21st century one instead.

Portal - 1

"Test 28-1-AGJ-4, commencing!"
The Gateway was an interdimensional portal opened during Roman times, which closed for unknown reasons. We finally knew why the Roman Empire had spontaneously started to collapse.
As the rig in the center of the field started to spin up, the inside started to glow. Electricity flowed through wires, taking energy from a fusion/fission reactor built not too far away. We'd discovered the ruins of the Portal in 2048 in the height of World War 3, and now, in 2057, a unified Humanity was crawling closer to forcefully opening the portal from our side.
KABOOM!
The rig exploded into fly pieces of shrapnel that bounced off the blast shielding in front of me, I sighed. "Clear 28-1-AGJ-4," I called out over the site's PA, "Next test, 28-4-AA!"
Technicians ran over to clear the debris as more began to pull another rig into the field. For some reason, this field was the only one where most of these experiments even powered up. As 28-4-AA was being secured to the ground, something else happened.
In a circle around the stone ruins at the center of the field, runes appeared. Latin runes. Our translators got to work quickly.
Help invasion demons daemons need military humans help
I swore to myself. "This is Site Director George Unoid, Quantum Team Inter-Dimensional Research Site One is entering a code orange, I repeat that is a code orange. Test 28-4-AA is not cleared to commence." I entered into the PA, before joining the ring of scientists circling the field looking for what was about to happen.
Portal portal portal portal portal go away come help help army dead
In the middle, a shimmering white dot appeared, before quickly growing to the size of a house. Runes covered the edges, and inside, we could see a medieval-looking city.
At that time, some other researchers had finished briefing the military detachment from the TFSU, who had arrived a few minutes prior.
"Site Director Unoid, what did you- Oh. They weren't joking." The squad leader said, looking at the field, before back at their helicopter. "I'm going to call a Red here."
"Red! Are you nuts?" I asked, shocked.
"Buddy," The squad leader explained, "we just made interdimensional first contact, and they're going on about the military. The last time they were here was two millennia ago; they're probably expecting to contact the Roman Empire. We need the Electorate on the line, live."
I sighed. Legally, I couldn't stop him from calling a Code Red if I wanted to. Which I did; nobody wants a Code Red on their record, or even being close to one in real-time; the whole definition was that the scenario was very dangerous.
More soldiers were dispatched, and we waited, staring into the portal. On the other side, more people stared back at us, each entranced by the other. As more helicopters landed, and Electorate Kala rushed out of one to see the portal, the people on the other side gestured for us to come to their side.
Alpha Squad moved up. I watched as the portal swallowed them. Not four seconds later, the sound of a war became audible from their side.
Behind me, SWAT teams rushed up from the closest city. Beside me, researchers and the leader of Humanity both stood mouths agape at the sight we saw. And in front of us, enough known laws of physics were breaking for me to reconsider my career.
-----
"Welcome to the Infinite Prison, gateway to the Underdark. We could survive a full-on demonic invasion, actually. This is one of the most fortified locations in the Lands."
The King of Rafalio nodded, looking across the field. Suddenly, a loud boom! echoed inside the cavern. The next thing he knew, the gate was being assaulted, He watched as siege machines started to come out of the darkness before running for his horse. "Who even built a gate this large here anyway!?!" he shouted, fleeing the devastation.
The sound of breaking stone echoed throughout the valley as the King fled. The moment he approached the border from the Borderlands and into his kingdom, he sent out a full mobilization order.
It has been ages, two thousand years since they came. Two thousand years since we were forced to close the Portal. Two thousand years of stagnation; when was the last time anyone did as much as invent a new hammer design! And nobody listens to me. Well, not properly anyway.
Racing into the capital a day later, King Rafalio the Nine Hundredth and Ninety-Ninth began to organize the war effort.
"My liege! The Orcs are being pushed back! They will be out of the borderlands within the week!"
The King sighed, looking beyond the castle and to the main plaza. There, the stone circle of a portal stood, as tall as a house, and unpowered for centuries. A reminder of the pact that they had signed.
"We don't have a choice. The others are still moving their armies, this takes time. Does anyone have any ideas?" The King asked.
"Hmm... well..." One of the court magicians said, "We could power the portal back up."
"Are you mad? The Daemons will come right for us!" Everyone in the throne room chorused. It wasn't the first time this had been suggested.
"Ah, but you see... they already are."
Now the room was quiet, as everyone turned this logic chain over in their heads.
"How do we power to Portal? The network has been offline for so long we don't have the source materials to do it." Archmage Valkiar said.
"We source them, open the portal, and get help within the next month before the city comes under assault." the magician said.
"But-"
"Does anyone else have a single other idea?" the magician pressed. "No? Well then, I think it's decided."
-----
It took time, lots of time, to source the materials. It became a common sight to see clouds of smoke to the west, growing ever larger as the Rafalio Army was pushed back. Eventually, they were pressed against the city walls, but the portal was ready.
"Porta aperta, porta aperta, ad alteram rationem. Non magia, sed homines, sed homines potius. Desperans proicio, potentiam animae meae ad nutriendum ianuam in aeternum, ut nunquam claudat dum vixero. Sol et eorum sol luceant, lunae et earum luna rutilent, et hi mundi denuo iungant. Rogo, renuntio, auxiliO; Exercitu opus est. venerunt daemones."
The chant continued, filling the entire city. The land itself began to pulsate with light as the spell finished, and with it, a small white light that quickly filled the stone circle.
On the other side, they saw Humans. Most of them were wearing white robes, but some were wearing a green-and-gray splotch of color. More arrived in contraptions as the Humans watched the portal with wide eyes.
But the King instantly knew something was wrong. The portal on their end was in ruins, and Romans nowhere to be found. He knew instantly that they had collapsed; they had been somewhat unstable already, according to his studies. But someone else, dressed differently, came forward, and the King was at least happy to see that some civilization had survived.
He beckoned them forward, and a group of splotchy ones stepped through the portal. And at that moment, a catapult hit one of the walls, and the city shook.
-----
As I stepped through the portal, my body went numb. Then I was there, on the other side.
I looked at the leader of the elf people. He looked tired. A bit too tired, but my translator earpiece chimed in.
"Greetings, Humans of the Alternate Realm. I am King Rafalio the Nine Hundredth and Ninety-Ninth. We are in desperate need of your military services." the leader said. "The Daemons have attacked without end, and we are about to be overrun. There are almost a hundred million refugees here, and we cannot afford to fall back."
"Greetings... your highness, I guess? Excuse me, it's been a long time since we Humans had royalty." I said, choosing my words carefully. "Archaeological records indicate that this portal was last activated during Roman times, and its closure propagated the fall of the Roman Empire, and not many historical records survived that time. We would gladly assist your request for arms; I'm going to head back and talk to Electorate Kala, but, given the circumstances regarding millions of civilians, I can guarantee that we will provide aid, and- wait, what!?"
I spun around to walk through the portal and instead saw Electorate Kala and the Site Director walking up to it. They stepped through, and I stepped aside. "Well, um, Electorate, I'm surprised at your willingness to just walk into a confirmed active warzone, but um... King Rafalio, meet Electorate Kala, elected leader of the TFSU, and by extension, Earth and Humanity."
-----
The Humans hadn't had Royalty in quite some time, so it made sense that they were being a bit disrespectful, but I passed that off.
"Yeah, um, hi... OK, could we get a full mobilization of the military out here now, emphasis on special ops and aerial assault. Not orbital, that'll take too long." the Electorate said, tilting her head to the side and pressing a hand against her ear.
"Right, sorry about that," she said to me. "You might want to clear out, we're going to move through in five minutes. There's too many people here to evacuate through the portal. Um... anyway. I'm Electorate Kala, and... yeah. We have a lot to talk about."
I looked at the Electorate skeptically. She seemed to not care of my royal standing. "Electorate Kala, perhaps we can talk elsewhere."
"Elsewhere is good," she agreed. "I'm going to hand off the co-ordination to the army, a portable command post is going to arrive shortly. It would be best if the bystanders here cleared a path to whatever gate is in that direction," she said, pointing towards the cloud of smoke. On cue, there was another loud bang as another lucky shot from a catapult slammed into the gates.
As we walked towards the Place, I asked her, "Are you certain you can mobilize enough troops in time?"
"Enough? Yes. Fitting them all through the portal? No." She replied. For all her attitude, she at least was smart. "As for your next question of our military prowess, given that this city is under siege by catapult, the TFSU Armed Forces will be fine. We won't even be pulling out doomsday weapons for this one - not that we could, World War Three destroyed every last nuke we had, we only made a couple afterwards, and we don't have orbital access."
"Doomsday?" I asked for clarification.
"Doomsday. As in, end-of-the-world. We haven't used any of the modern ones, and even nukes were used in combat only twice. Twice was too much, though."
"Too much?"
"A nuclear warhead has the ability to wipe out an entire city by creating a miniature sun for a fraction of an instant. We're not going to use them, though. Twice was too much."
I noted the tale in my head. Miniature sun. May as well be able to fly without magic! "You mentioned World War Three...?"
"Ah, yes. Also called the First Unification War, World War Three led to a new country with a new constitution controlling half of the world. World War Four, which wasn't really a war, saw the total unification of Humanity. That ended roughly five years ago, though, so it's still a sensitive topic."
We continued to talk. Some things I found primitive, others I was sure were mere tales. But I started to think that the Electorate's blunt honesty was more than just how she spoke, but what she spoke of as well.
I shoved that thought out of my head.
-----
Ralkia watched the splotchy green hunks of metal noisily rumble through the city, down the main road and to the west. Accompanying them were soldiers wearing more green clothing. They marched down the street in loose formation, not timing their steps. With the giant machines, they didn't need to.
Fwump-fwump-fwump-fwump-fwump. Ralkia turned her eyes towards the sky, and saw a floating black metal box racing towards the western wall. It must be some contraption the mages made, she thought.
The sound of the gate opening knocked her out of her fascinated observation of the Humans' military. Being in the slums closest to the West Wall, she was able to peek out and see the battle beyond. Catapults and trébuchets hurled rocks across the field as the Rafalio Army pushed against the Daemons. Mages cast spells, light flared across the battlefield, and bodies littered the hill up towards the city gate.
The sound of some indescribable roar turned her attention back towards the Human army. The metal hunks moved faster, large nozzles pointing towards the battlefield as they split ranks and began to form a rear line. The infantry carrying those smaller metal contraptions also moved faster, running to keep up with the large metal hunks and forming not a battleline, but a line of clusters.
The flying mage-craft began to descend towards the new line, others hovering above. But looking at them then at the metal hunks, and finally back at the infantry, they all shared the same symbol, and the same series of letters. TFSU. These were Human craft. Perhaps, in their time isolated from Ethiria, they had found their own magic?
More soldiers poured out, but then Ralkia heard a different sound. A louder, more uncontrolled roar. Ralkia saw something fly faster than a Dragon could ever hope to. It didn't slow down, it didn't look like it could slow down; it shot towards the Daemons, and she lost it in the smoke.
The Humans began to shout something to each other. As one, they began to prepare.
And Ralkia saw Human warfare.
-----
King Rafalio the Nine Hundredth And Ninety-Ninth was pissed.
The Human leader was blunt. Too blunt. Was she not familiar with the intricacies of a court? He could understand the military being removed, but not the leader themselves!
She had told him he needed to sign treaty documents before they joined the war. That was fine, but being talked to as a common person was getting to him.
"Speaking like normal people increases the speed of a conversation, so I can get stuff done faster." Electorate Kala replied.
"Right, then. Fine. You haven't been honest with me," He accused. Maybe this would teach her some lessons; given that the Human Army was already here, he was confident they had enough time for others to come to Rafalio's aid. "Your people can unleash the power of the sun the very same way you can fly; you can't."
"About that," Kala said. That's when King Rafalio heard it. Fwump-fwump-fwump-fwump-fwump. Glancing towards the window, he did not like what he saw.
First, the Humans had taken over a good portion of the market square with a set of inflated, interconnected tents, and a couple metal units covered in contraptions. 'Portable command center.' Kala had called hit. It was ugly.
Second, a black oval was now flying towards the west wall. A second one emerged from the portal, through which the 'tanks' had stopped flowing, and joined the first; then another, and another.
"That's a 'helicopter.'" Kala said. "It's an artificial metal dragon that can't breathe fire, but we managed to bolt other weapons to it. This is all old weaponry, though; special ops are arriving soon, it's been an hour, that's plenty enough time for them to come. And of course I've been trying to get orbitals here as fast as possible, but we've been short on Hard-Light everything ever since it was invented a year ago, and our only non-launchpad-requiring spaceships are busy."
"I... You've changed since the Romans." The King said. "They were respectable, treated us with respect, and didn't use your mad..."
"Science," Kala supplemented.
"Yes, yes, that. But you, 'Electorate,' may as well have been elected by the dumb common folk instead of the senate!" The King shouted. Then stopped. He did not like the look on Kala's face.
"Yes, yes I was. That's what a democracy is." Kala agreed.
The King was silent, mouth agape. Finally, he found the words to express himself. "You let the uneducated masses decide your leaders? Please tell me you have prerequisites to becoming Electorate." The King pleaded.
"First, the TFSU offers free education including university to all citizens, and second, you have to be a citizen of the TFSU. Which everyone is."
"TFSU, TFSU, What does that even stand for!?!" The King was getting desperate, hoping that the Humans had kept their ways from before.
"Terra Firma System's Union. But beggars can't be choosers," Electorate Kala stood up and walked up to the window showing the west wall. "Besides, we've changed for the better; that much I'm sure of."
The King slumped. To whom had he asked for help?
Next