I've been friends with this girl for 5 years now, we are part of the same group of friends at uni and we've always had a good relationship. When we met 5 years ago she started liking me and I kinda liked her too, but I was just too much of a mess at that point to do something about it, and so time went by and nothing ever happened between us. However, she had always been into me since then.
Recently I've been learning to appreciate things more and, long story short, I've ended up falling pretty hard for her without even realising. We started talking more and I asked her out to dinner, which she accepted. Date went great, but then she started having doubts about the situation and everything got weird. I should probably mention that she is a very anxious person and overthinks everything too much, plus she went through an annoyingly similar situation (guy she used to like finally asks her out) like a year and a half ago and it didn't go too well. So in the end we talked about it, she told me that she wasn't sure enough to keep going and that was it. To be clear about this: I completely understand her, I know that the main problem here is me being so late and the last thing I want is to be a problem for her.
However, I just can't get over the whole situation. When we talked about this I told her that my door would still be open, but I think that's pretty unfair for both of us if her decision was final and she is moving/has moved on. But on the other hand, if she still has feelings for me and might change her mind at some point, I really want to be there when it happens. I don't want to be that guy who can't take no for an answer, and most importantly I don't want to put her through an uncomfortable situation again, but I really feel like there's still something to fight for. So I've been debating whether I should just forget about it and move on, or if it would be fine to ask her once more to at least know if that open door means anything to her. I'm fine with her taking her time if she needs it, but I feel like I really need to know if there's still a chance.
So, is it fine if I insist a little bit? Or should I just let her be and not bother her anymore with this? We are still great friends after all and I don't want to lose that because of being too selfish about this, but I don't think I've ever liked someone like this before.
I'm sorry if this was a little bit too long, I just thought the whole story was relevant. Thank you so much for your help.
TL;DR - She was into me but I was too much of an idiot to realise I was missing a great opportunity. Now that I like her she is not sure about it. Idk if I should just accept it and move on or if there's still something to fight for.

I was wondering if I could get tips on weight loss or different approaches; I am willing to try anything. First, a bit about me, I am a 5"2 female that was roughly 180 pounds, and I got down to 150 pounds last year. I was eating approximately 1200 calories. I am also a master's student, working out regularly throughout the academic year. Still, I have gained a bit of weight (currently at 160 pounds), I am not too stressed about it, but it seems like the weight this time around isn't working. A bit about my fitness journey. I work out in the morning (roughly 5-7 am). Then, my routine is biking to and from the gym (10 minutes). My weight training routine divides my workout into upper and lower body days, then focuses on the back and core. I usually walk about at my workplace and sometimes go on a walk or bike ride when I return from work. I have an Apple watch, and I know they aren't the most accurate way of indicating my burning calories. When it comes to food intake, I am pretty meticulous about it. I cook my own food, mostly fish and chicken with rice and many vegetables. Breakfast consists of either egg, boiled or scrambled with toast, or I make oatmeal with protein powder and almond milk. Lunch is usually a protein with rice and vegetables, nothing too much, so I'm not sluggish at work. And dinner consists of protein and vegetables. I'm not a fruit person for snacks; I prefer vegetables or plain yogurt. I want any advice because it feels like a plateau, and I want to change it up. My goal is to get down to 140-145 pounds. Now I am willing to compromise that to be physically strong, but muscly persa but to build muscle. I am taking weight training trips from my brother, but we have two goals in mind. As I said, I would like any advice, even looking to change my workout routine. Thanks for coming across, and I will try to answer your questions.

Pretty my hairline started to recede when I was 12 years old, I've never had a chance to conscioussly have my hair done like I enjoy cause I was too young when it was non receding. I have an extreme sebderm which is being treated, My hairline pretty much hasn't changed since I was 14, hair the temples was thinner but I made it that dense with natural oils. Now I've been taking topical minoxidil 5% 3 times a week (my derm told me to do that), I'm planning starting finasteride when I trun 20 or something idk. My dad is 45 years old and something and pretty much he has exactly the same hairline as me now, like his left temple is also receded more, he has no thinning elsewhere Paternal grandfather 70 years old full dense hair, maternal grandfather - here comes the shit - norwood thinned 4 but crown is full, hes 70. What the fck do I do? It's freaking frustrating knowing that I will probably like like the freaking Smurf's Gargamel not long in the future. I also have dense body hair and thick bardzo on sideburns.

My partner is threatening me by sending a 3 months notice on the flat we rent together. This is due to me saying I am too busy to take photos for him, to which he responded in a very entitled way that annoyed me. This very childish back and forth fight led to him very suddenly saying that because of what "I've done" he's sending a 3 months notice.
Last year he found our current flat on Rightmove, he strongly persuaded me to move in with him as it is affordable and meant we could live very close to where we work. The flat is part of an intermediate housing scheme helping people live close to where they work. I am a 15 minute walk away from my work, outside of the practicalities I really love where I live.
He has mentioned wanting to move to another country for some time. He is currently in discussion with his work about working remotely. He has been very vague on how I fit in this, one thing he mentioned is that he’ll continue to contribute to the rent so it doesn't mean I have to lose the flat.
But in moments when he has been unhappy about something I have or haven't done, he's often blamed me for being the reason he's still in the UK. He claims that I am a liability to him, that I have been preventing him from moving abroad, and I am the reason he is stuck, depressed and angry.
After what I thought was a silly argument he’s claiming I'm to blame for us agreeing to sign a contract to this flat.
The agreement was entirely mutual, and he strongly pushed for us to secure a 5 year contract on this flat. Prior to this, I had suggested many times that we should move to separate places knowing how much he wants to move to another country, but he strongly expressed how much he wanted me to live with him and rent this flat together.
I'm very worried about the impact this can have on my life, especially financially. I am not on a high wage, I am trying to live in London during a cost of living crisis. Renting the flat I am in now saves a fortune on travel costs as I'm walking distance from work, I won't be able to afford this place alone and I don't know how I'd find somewhere else in 3 months. I have an art project coming up over the next 3 months that can be life-changing, but I also can't drop this project because I'm in agreement with them. Trying to relocate to a new flat and the financial impact of this could mean I'd lose this project, it would be an opportunity I could never get again, and it could be up to £8000 I owe the company for not being able to stick to my promise on completing this art project.
I really hope I can get help! Instead of me responding to the company of this art project I am writing a draft letter to citizens advice and on here for help. He has already got in the way of one of the most important things to happen in my life, if not the most important thing.
This could ruin my life, and it's over a very pathetic argument.

I started Mirtazapine (7.5mg) in May 2021- I have severe sleep anxiety, and after a particularly bad run (3 night no sleep in a row, and constant panic attacks), my GP prescribed me Mirtazapine.
It was a godsend- basically I have every now and then a bad night and decided to increase to 15mg (but in hindsight should have stayed on 7.5 because it was fine), but for the most part Mirtazapine gave me my life back!
Fast forward to March 2023, I decided to taper- I felt ready, and wanted to be medication free (also I want to try to have a baby in a few years and you can’t be on Mirtazapine and pregnant apparently)
I stupidly altered doses (half one more dose each week), this really kicked me in the ass 7 weeks later (managed to get to 7.5mg 4x a week) when my anxiety and insomnia came back in full force. So I went back to 15mg.
It took me around 2 weeks to stabilise, and last week I felt back to my old self.
HOWEVER
these last 3 days have been a nightmare, anxiety is definitely back along with my insomnia (maybe 3 hours a night if I’m lucky- and thats only after lying in bed until 4am)
I am pretty unhappy with my life at the moment, but Mirtazapine always helped me through those problems
Does anyone know why all of a sudden this is happening? (And yes I take valerian root, Magnesium, Cherry extract and every now and then CBD oil for a while - with no effect)

I, seemingly like most people online, have an issue with procrastination. Whether I like what I am doing or dislike it, I don't tend to finish what I have to do in a reasonable amount of time.
When I enjoy a task, I usually start, get it about halfway done, laze about for a while, then, when it's almost time to hand it in, rush the other half. Sometimes I do complete stuff early or on time , but it tends to feel weird. The last time I completed something important in a reasonable amount of time, it felt wrong in a way. When I got my assignment back, I had actual right answers, but I felt almost unworthy. So, I only didn't do that again for the semester.
When I don't like something, I typically don't start until like 2 days before the due date. This habit has definitely somewhat burned me more than once. I'm passing all of my classes, but my grades aren't anything to brag about, but I have yet to turn an assignment in late because I know that leads to an automatic zero. Which brings me to the fact that I self sabotage enough to potentially ruin my life, but not so much that it's an immediate emergency.
Where I live, you can fail a class 3 times before they "forbid" you from taking it again. If you passed it, regardless of your grade, you can't retake it. Your future success does not replace or erase your past failures so if you fail, it's on record for life. I have yet to fail a class, but have barely passed many. It's not looking good for my average score because although I excel in some classes, others are bad enough that my overall scores are average at best.
I've though on it a while and it bothers me that when I'm on my own it's as if I don't care for my wellbeing. (I'm fairly certain that should I fail a class someday that my parents will kick me out.) It's a habit that formed over my high school years that I am trying to fight, but it's not easy. I have acquired the bad habit of saying that I will do stuff only to never follow up on my word when I am the only person who would benefit from it. Many friends and my parents do this and I do too, but I don't want to be like this.
My last problem is that I don't like change. I don't hate it but I certainly never seek it out. When something requires some effort, I tend to wait for it to come to me, until I realize that I'm not 5 anymore and that I have to do stuff if I want to be someone accomplished. Tldr: I tend to neglect the things I need to do even when I could do them easily because I often feel unworthy of success. It currently hurts my schooling and I have a suspicion that it will affects my professional life later on if not addressed. Any advice that could help?
(I graduated high school about a year ago and have one more year of college before university. I am not American.)

I just joined to group to hopefully connect with some individuals who know cameras a lot better than I do. I hope I’m not posting to the wrong group; if so, I apologize and I’ll remove this post.
I purchased my Sony a6000 in 2021; this past October, I went to Scotland, camera in tow. I tried to take a panoramic photo of some scenery, but the camera couldn’t capture the photo. When I went to take another photo (manual exposure, aperture, etc.), the camera couldn’t focus. To this day, I still can’t focus my camera lens.
I’ve googled, I’ve read blogs and Sony ‘help’ guides on the internet, I’ve taken the lens off and put it back on, took the battery out, changed it to manual focus, reset the entire camera…NOTHING WORKS. The only ‘focusing’ the camera does is if an object is placed 5-10 inches away from the camera (holding my hand up in front of the camera looks crystal clear).
Have I screwed up the lens? Did I wreck the camera entirely? This was my first ever camera purchase, and I’m just frustrated that I can’t use it. I’ll try anything at this point.
Can anyone help me? Has anyone else ever had this problem?
Side note: my sister has the same camera, and I tried her lens in my camera. It still wouldn’t focus.
Any help is greatly appreciated!

I, seemingly like most people online, have an issue with procrastination. Whether I like what I am doing or dislike it, I don't tend to finish what I have to do in a reasonable amount of time.
When I enjoy a task, I usually start, get it about halfway done, laze about for a while, then, when it's almost time to hand it in, rush the other half. Sometimes I do complete stuff early or on time , but it tends to feel weird. The last time I completed something important in a reasonable amount of time, it felt wrong in a way. When I got my assignment back, I had actual right answers, but I felt almost unworthy. So, I only didn't do that again for the semester.
When I don't like something, I typically don't start until like 2 days before the due date. This habit has definitely somewhat burned me more than once. I'm passing all of my classes, but my grades aren't anything to brag about, but I have yet to turn an assignment in late because I know that leads to an automatic zero. Which brings me to the fact that I self sabotage enough to potentially ruin my life, but not so much that it's an immediate emergency.
Where I live, you can fail a class 3 times before they "forbid" you from taking it again. If you passed it, regardless of your grade, you can't retake it. Your future success does not replace or erase your past failures so if you fail, it's on record for life. I have yet to fail a class, but have barely passed many. It's not looking good for my average score because although I excel in some classes, others are bad enough that my overall scores are average at best.
I've though on it a while and it bothers me that when I'm on my own it's as if I don't care for my wellbeing. (I'm fairly certain that should I fail a class someday that my parents will kick me out.) It's a habit that formed over my high school years that I am trying to fight, but it's not easy. I have acquired the bad habit of saying that I will do stuff only to never follow up on my word when I am the only person who would benefit from it. Many friends and my parents do this and I do too, but I don't want to be like this.
My last problem is that I don't like change. I don't hate it but I certainly never seek it out. When something requires some effort, I tend to wait for it to come to me, until I realize that I'm not 5 anymore and that I have to do stuff if I want to be someone accomplished.
​
Tldr: I tend to neglect the things I need to do even when I could do them easily because I often feel unworthy of success. It currently hurts my schooling and I have a suspicion that it will affects my professional life later on if not addressed. Any advice that could help?
(I graduated high school about a year ago and have one more year of college before university. I am not American.)

A month ago i sent my mother an email because she consistently downplays the abuse i went through and uses my dead father as a scapegoat for every issue. She doesnt even remember or recognize some of the things she did as abusive. An example would be her talking about how good it is they changed the working age in my province from 13 to 16, when she would kick me out of the house from the age of 12 until i got a job, which i did, a full time one she made me work while going to school while she completely stopped paying for anything for me and went jet setting across the world with her new husband. I genuinely cannot begin to tally up the amount of times id come home and theyd be gone. for days from a very young age. Sometimes weeks. One time they said theyd be back in two weeks — 5 weeks later they came home because they just had to ride around the Caribbean in a private catamaran for another few weeks. I was 14. (Theres alot more i wont get into)
I also told her that after she let me be in the vicinty of my rapist grandfather and i fell, when she took me too the doctors and left the room he sexually assaulted me and that i dont view her as the main offender but i do view her as at fault for letting that entire situation transpire and letting me be around my grandfather ( she saw first hand him SA’ing two people while passed out, and heard from one of his child victims) which led to me needing to be rape checked by someone who then actually assaulted me. I told her i dont want to talk about it past this. I just need to know the name. Apologize and we can move on. I said i didnt want to rehash all of this but it was hurting my recovery being around someone who hurt me like that, who refuses to acknowledge the reality and consistently warps facts in order to not feel bad. I told her i loved her no matter what, but this stuff is really effecting me and i cant ever say what needs to he said in person.
She never responded. And i know thats not the point. And i was fine with that. I also was expecting it to take awhile before she came to terms and wasnt expecting her to be able to answer back for awhile. But this morning she messaged me saying that shes thinking of me and she loves me and i guess im just feeling really hurt because she didnt mention it at all, and i feel like she’s going to try and brush it off and make light of the abuse again like shes done in the past.

Recently received a perma ban for a bug exploit in destiny. When did they start dishing out punishments this severe?
I've never heard of anyone being permanently banned for any other exploit in the past?
I understand if someone uses a third party program to change code in the game itself. But a bug exploit?
I've appealed, and was turned down.
Is there any other route I can take, or is this it for my 5 year destiny journey?
EDIT: This was the Ikora quest bug that was active for a few hours a couple days ago before being patched.

This is the ULTIMATE Sim Racing Mistakes List. If you want to become the best racing driver you can be, this is for you. If you just want to have fun and don’t care about your sim racing performance, then skip it without going to the comment sections saying "I just wanna have fun" lol. Some things are just not going to be easy to solve so get ready to get out of your comfort zone.
Ready? Ok, let’s go.
1- DO NOT use the ideal racing line! This completely fucks up your vision technique and you create terrible habits. Train your eyes and learn how to scan the track!
2- Do NOT use Driving Assists! Should I really explain this one?
3- Do NOT use the Chase camera. Onboard cameras like hood, bumper or cockpit view will be much better for performance and precision.
4- Look forward! Try to aim where you want your car to go. Scan the track, don’t just keep looking right in front of your hood. Your eyes have to be looking to the next target every second. Ever heard of Guitar Hero? The good players look at the notes as high as possible, as soon as they show up on the screen!
5- Don’t get right away in a race without practicing! Learn the track and be consistent before racing to make sure you improve as a driver in the future and prevent getting bad habits!
6- Don’t turn graphics up if you can’t keep your FPS high! High FPS is essential, and if you’re stuck with 60hz, turn V-Sync off to minimize input lag.
7- Don’t get used to a wrong posture just because you started with it first and it feels natural! Make sure your seating position is proper to prevent getting hurt in the future!
8- You’re not making sure you’re using ALL the track. When I say ALL the track, I mean AAAAAALL the track. To the centimeter! You may think you are but you are NOT. Align the white lines or grass to something in cockpit view to improve your track usage consistency.
9- STOP changing your line or angle expecting the car to behave exactly the same way! Find a line, align the car with the entry kerb or something and DO THAT lap after lap!
10- STOP Braking Randomly! Find braking references to the meter and brake there lap after lap!
11- Stop holding your breath while driving into corners! This makes you tense up more than necessary and your driving will be worse. Try to breathe normally while driving. Depending on how bad your habit of tensing up is, you should be slower for a few days until you get used to it.
12- Stop releasing the brakes quickly from full pressure to zero! You’re just popping up the front tires and understeering terribly, and you’re losing many seconds per lap because of this. Learn how to trail brake!
12 - STOP STRANGLING THE STEERING WHEEL! You’ll hurt yourself and have a much less fun experience driving. Instead, use the Light Hands Technique and feel what the car wants from you.
13- Stop doing blind laps! Just doing 500 laps without analyzing your driving is the easiest way to become a terrible driver. If you only believe in talent and nothing else, you might be creating bad habits that you’ll carry forever in your driving. FIND THE INEFFICIENCIES!
14- Stop applying the brakes too slowly. There are places to be smooth, but brake application should not be slow. You should take no more than half a second between initial application and peak pressure.
15- You’re using the wrong settings because you were lazy to research the right ones! Take some time to make sure everything is perfect, and that includes steering range, linearity of the pedals, deadzones, calibration, force feedback!
16- You’re using the wrong Field of View. Use a FOV Calculator and find your ideal one. You can increase it a bit, like 10% more, but keep it close to the ideal to be more precise, even if it feels a little bit too slow!
17- Stop keeping the steering fixed while turning into the corner! You should only keep the steering fixed if your speed is fixed, and this is very rare in motor racing! You should almost always increase your steering on corner entry and decrease your steering on corner exit, continuously!
18- KEEP THE HEEL OFF THE PLATE WHILE BRAKING! Unless you’re driving with an extremely light brake pedal, you should feel the pressure on the ball of your foot, and it should naturally lift your heel just a little bit!
19- STOP turning in with 100% brakes and relying on ABS. Learn how to control the brakes with finesse. Drive cars with ABS as if they didn’t have them.
20 -Stop looking directly at other cars while racing! Your peripheral vision is good enough to know they’re there. Keep looking for useful places on the track to know where you are.
21- Stop giving way too much space when fighting for position. This makes your pass actually more dangerous as you will most likely run wide on the exit and hit your fellow competitor.
22- DO NOT downshift randomly! Pay attention to the timing of your downshifts, they’ll play an essential role in the car balance on all stages of the corner, and have an impact even on exit, of course!
23- Stop practicing if you’re tired! If you’re plateauing and not improving at all, don’t let the frustration consume you. Take a break, watch a team mate driving, get up, stretch, have some sleep!
24- Don’t turn in fast while trail braking. Your front tires don’t have infinite grip! If you’re braking, turn-in slowly. If you’re coasting, changing direction, or accelerating, turn in fast.
25- Do not drive alone all the time! Try to compare your driving with teammates, help them improve and let them help you improve. This is a win-win for everyone.
26- If you go off-track, PLEASE don’t try to desperately come back on track. If you keep turning too much back to the inside, you’ll spin right away!
27- Stop releasing the brakes in a High Downforce car consistently! You should release it slowly on a straight line as you lose downforce, but then more quickly as you turn in, so your braking trace should have TWO lines, the second one being steeper!
28- Stop releasing the brakes too much on a straight line in a low downforce car! You should keep your brakes fairly flat on the same pressure, so release no more than 10% in that phase! Start actually releasing the brakes only when you start turning in!
29- Stop driving the same way in cambered or off-cambered corners! If there’s more grip, you should force the car more, if there’s a hill, or a crest, or off-camber, you should ask for less rotation, less deceleration, less acceleration!
30- Don’t coast. Having no brakes and no throttle should be a rare situation. For 99% of the cars, you should be trailbraking until you get back on power to get proper rotation and be able to brake later.
31- Stop driving purely through understeer. This means you’re not properly using the rear grip and carrying less speed through all corners. Rotate that thing!
32- Stop relying only on steering to rotate the car! Make sure you’re also consciously using engine braking and trail braking as tools for rotation!
33- Please don’t change your line if you’re the slower car in a multiclass being overtaken by a faster class. Let them do the job and prevent crashes!
34- Don’t forget to practice your pit entries! This can save previous seconds and penalties in endurance events!
35- Stop being under the limit for the sake of consistency. You’re in a simulator, if you’re practicing, abuse the car as much as possible. You’ll learn when sliding. You will NOT learn when not sliding.
36- Stop getting on half-throttle and understeering like a pig mid corner. Find the traction limit and stay there, so you keep the rotation where it was before!
37- Stop trying to gain rotation on throttle! This is one of the most dangerous ways to spin. You’re probably doing it because the car is understeering on entry and you’re compensating that. What about making the car rotate more on entry in the first place?
38- Do not turn in slowly in flat-out corners! You should turn in slowly if you’re braking, but much more quickly when accelerating!
39- Stop changing the car setup to solve your bad habits. Try to correct the balance of the car through driving inputs before you make changes. This will help you be more liked by your teammates in endurance events.
40- Don’t increase the brake pressure mid-corner too much! Although in some cases, you have to do it to compensate for a mistake on corner entry, trying to gain rotation on the brakes mid-corner should be avoided. Use it as a sign that you made something wrong on turn-in. The perfect line has your brake trace going DOWN and only DOWN all the way to the apex.
41- Applying the brakes too fast while coming from another corner. If you start braking as fast as if you were in a straight line but with the car completely unloaded on one side, you’ll instantly lock up the unloaded side or get into ABS and unsettle the car.
42- DO NOT go straight in between compound corners! If you’re sacrificing the line of a corner to improve the next one, use the lateral grip in every inch in between to improve your exit speeds!
43- Stop using the throttle on corner entry! Only a few cars with open-differential require maintenance throttle to control the balance. In most cars, braking and accelerating are like asking them to do opposite things at the same time. And the result is a lazy and unresponsive car.
44- Do NOT turn the steering linearly on corner entry in Low Downforce cars. If the car is low downforce, it’ll have V-shaped lines, which means your steering trace should be progressive and exponential, not linear.
45- Stop relaxing and hesitating after turn-in oversteer, which makes you under the limit for a fraction of a second before you turn-in again mid-corner. Try to make micro-corrections on entry but immediately come back to using the rears, so you keep them busy at all stages of the corner!
46- Stop correcting oversteer with Active Countersteer, where you’re actively turning towards the outside. Let the force feedback do the correction for you!
47- Stop braking the same way in elevation changes! If the track is going up into a compression, sometimes you can brake up to 20% more, and if the track is going over a hill, sometimes you should brake even 50% less!
48- Stop doing the same lines in double-apexes in cars with different downforce levels! If the car is high-downforce, the distance between the apexes should be smaller, and if the car is low-downforce, the distance should be much bigger!
49- When accelerating, make sure you time the speed of the first vertical application to the traction limit from corner to corner. If the corner tends to be oversteery on exit, apply it a little bit slower, like over three tenths of a second, but if the corner tends to be understeery on exit, apply the throttle more quickly, like over one tenth of a second, to keep the car rotating!
50- When correcting oversteer on entry, focus on inducing understeer with the brake release by letting the rotation of the car be a trigger for your brake release. This will make sure your front tires are busy and optimal at all times while you manage the rear tires and oversteer with your pedal release!
If you want to be a good driver, write down the ones that you identified with, then put them to practice. You won’t magically improve, so get your shit together and be disciplined.
A bit of advertising on my coaching work: I have complete and detailed lessons ready to go on my online course, The Motor Racing Checklist. They cover all of these tips in-depth. The course has 1750 participants so far with incredible feedback from drivers of all levels. I’m also writing a book version of The Motor Racing Checklist that is being developed for years and is in its final publishing process with the editor.
If you have any question, leave a comment and I’ll respond as soon as possible!
Remember to have fun on track ;)
Suellio Almeida Racing Driver, Coach, Content Creator

I had a trip planned that contained taking an IC train to then change to a TGV train (in France), eventually changing to another TGV (so IC -> TGV -> TGV). The IC was announced to be ca. 100 minutes late and I had no possibility to get to the train station where the TGV departed on time but to take a taxi, which cost me around 180 €. Also, it was early in the morning and DB customer service at my initial train station was closed, so I had to make a decision on my own rather quickly.
I now filed the Fahrgasterechte form to get reimbursed but apparently I cannot be sure that I will get the full amount back by DB. But I cannot find out what my other options would have been and if DB would have fully reimbursed me for any other additional cost. There would have been another connection but I would have arrived at my final destination ca. 5 hours later (at ca. 21:30 instead of 16:30) and I had and still have no idea if I could have simply taken another TGV (due to the obligation for seat reservation) or not. The whole trip was booked via DB. Does anyone have a link that explains what one can do when a TGV is missed due to a delay by a DB train and what one's respective rights are?

Arcanemigration ch4 Room to grow
As I sit at the edge of a stream near the entrance of my cave i Cast my gaze upon the tranquil scenery, I realize that it holds a newfound significance for me. It has provided me with sustenance, a source of water, and now a temporary respite from the stress of constant work. The fish continue their rhythmic dance in the water.
I reach for my fishing spear, determined to catch a meal to replenish my strength. As I prepare to strike, I hear a faint rustling from the nearby bushes. Instinctively, I grip the spear tighter and scan the surroundings. The eyes of the goblins still haunt my thoughts, reminding me that danger lurks even in the most peaceful moments.
Instead of a goblin that emerges from the brush. It is a creature unlike any I have encountered before—a majestic white pearlescent stag with antlers that seem to reach towards the heavens. Its eyes are filled swirling waves of a blue wisdom and a green of serenity that I have rarely witnessed.
The stag approaches the stream, its graceful movements leaving me in awe. It drinks from the water with a glowing reflection shimmering in the gentle ripples. I watch in silence, a mix of reverence and curiosity stirring within me. Could this be a sign? A guiding presence in this harsh world?
The stag lifts its head, its gaze meeting mine. For a brief moment, time stands still. And then, as if acknowledging my presence, it takes a step closer, its hooves barely making a sound on the soft earth.
In that moment, a realization dawns upon me. The goblins, the battles, the struggle to survive—they are but a small part of a much greater tapestry of the journey to come. There are forces at play beyond my comprehension, and while they may not have taken notice of my deeds, they have sent me a message through this ethereal encounter.
I lower my spear, a newfound sense of purpose coursing through my veins. I will not only defend this sanctuary against the goblin hordes but also strive to understand the mysteries that surround me. I will seek knowledge, forge alliances, and uncover the truths that lie hidden within this world.
With renewed determination, I set my sights on fortifying the cave, transforming it into a stronghold that not only protects me but also serves as a beacon of resilience and defiance. The goblins may still pose a threat, but I am no longer just a survivor—I am a warrior with a purpose.
The stag watches me closely and thoughtfully As I prepare to embark on this new chapter, I offer my silent gratitude to the creature before it gracefully disappears into the depths of the forest.
The journey ahead will be arduous, and the trials I face will test my strength, both physical and spiritual. I may be alone but With the spirit of the stag guiding me, and the scars of my past battles etched into my flesh, I step forward, ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead.
I am the defender of this sanctuary, the seeker of truths, and the embodiment of resilience. And as I move forward, I carry with me the wisdom of the stag and the unwavering determination to protect what is mine.
Inside the cave, I take stock of my resources. Though limited, they are enough to begin the task at hand. And get to work smoothing down the hard stone again until it is the right shape. Then heat up the rock in my fore and then drip cold water along the edge to shatter bits off to make a sharp edge. Then I find the largest bone in the bone pile seemingly a femur and with some work and supplies I bind them together. Lastly I char the bone to seal it.
{Crude woodcutting axe} Wood-damage : +50% Range:3 Bone: +1 durability Char: +1 longevity
Using this makeshift tool, I venture into the surrounding forest, seeking sturdy trees suitable for reinforcement. With each swing of the axe, I feel a sense of empowerment. It is not just the physical act of cutting wood but also the symbol of taking control over my environment. I am no longer at the mercy of nature; I am the one shaping my destiny.
The axe bites into the wood, and with each felled tree, I feel like it's getting easier. Then chopping the tree into logs and branches. I gather logs and branches, forming a stockpile near the cave entrance. I return multiple times, driven by a relentless determination to create a formidable barrier against any future onslaught. I also collect large rocks from the nearby riverbed, utilizing them to strengthen the cave's entrance.
Hours turn into days as I toil, the sweat mingling with the dirt on my brow. With each passing moment, the cave transforms into a sanctuary that reflects my resilience. The once-vulnerable entrance is now fortified with thick logs and sturdy rocks, creating a formidable barrier that would give even the most determined goblin pause.
As I stand back to survey my handiwork, a sense of accomplishment washes over me. The cave, once a mere shelter, has evolved into a stronghold—a testament to my will to survive and protect what is mine. The scars on my body are mirrored in the scars on the land, each a reminder of the battles fought and won.
With the physical defenses in place, I turn my attention to the interior of the cave. I make a simple stone chisel with a replaceable head and useing the same sharp stone, I shape smaller logs into makeshift furniture—a crude bed, a rough-hewn table, and even a shelf to store my meager belongings. I carve niches into the walls to hold torches, their flickering light banishing the shadows that once haunted this place.
As I sit on my newly crafted bed, a flicker of the white stag's presence dances in my mind. I realize that my soul has been blessed with a simple yet useful ability—a keen intuition that guides me in times of danger. It is as if the spirit of the white stag has bestowed upon me a heightened sense of awareness, allowing me to anticipate danger before it strikes.
(Blessing of the stag) Soul trait The user knows when immediate death is near.
With the cave fortified and made livable, I find a moment of respite. I lay on my rough bed, the scars on my body throbbing with both pain and pride. The journey has been grueling, and the battles have taken their toll, but I am ready to face whatever lies ahead. In that moment I notice some notifications I may have ignored or didn't see before.
{Shelter -> Home} Sufficient upgrades have been made do you accept the ownership of this new Home. YES : NO
It doesn't take long but I say yes after I do other pop-ups make themselves know.
HOME This designation partains to places meant for long term living not just survival and can have major improvements and is meant for months to years of living. Many improvements can be made, few expansions can be made tho and only minor differences can be erected. If major improvements are made until there are none left to make and all minor traps are established then it will automatically move into the [BASE] designation. This designation can trigger only minor events.
There now seems to be a few tabs available to me including (defenses),(furniture),(waist room),(pool room),(the pit),(main room)
[You have now made the first step to living in this world and have gained one new skill and 1 level]
Learned skill [ wood working] Rarity: uncommon The user can efficiently cut trees down and work them into anything from small art pieces and furniture to walls and defenses.
And I guess I need to now see what leveling up is like. It can't be that hard I'll also need to go through my windows and learn everything I can about this system.
STATS LV:6 CLASS:NONE NAME: WILLIAM RACE:HUMAN [WHITE] AGE: 23YEARS OLD WEIGHT: 250LB HEALTH :(LV6 * CON14)= 84 ARCANA :(LV6 * INT33) 198 -198=0 PHYSICAL : (LV6 *DEX10)= 60
STRENGTH : 15 DEXTERITY :10 CONSTITUTION :14 INTELLIGENCE :33 WISDOM :27 CHARISMA :-2 LUCK :10
STAT POINTS :5
I close my eyes, allowing the exhaustion to wash over me, knowing that tomorrow will bring new challenges. But with the wisdom of the stag etched into my soul and the strength of my defenses surrounding me, I find solace in the knowledge that I am prepared. And with 5 stat points I should be able to see a difference after using them.
The goblins may regroup and seek revenge, or another threat can raise it's ugly head but they will find a changed man awaiting them—a warrior with a fortified sanctuary, a soul.

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/valvereplacement/comments/1363zn2/surgery_in_2_weeks/
Bio: male, early 30s, bicuspid aortic valve, severe aortic regurgitation, severe 6.9cm LVEDD, 3.5cm mild ascending aorta aneurysm, no symptoms other than a significant heart murmur and a visible bounding pulse in my neck. I had the David procedure done, which is an open heart surgery where they repair the aortic valve and replace the aorta root with a synthetic graft. The native valve is placed inside the graft.
Day before surgery: I spent the day hanging out with my wife and daughter. My parents also flew in the night before to help take care of my kid while my wife and I would be in the hospital. I'm quite fortunate to have had essentially no anxiety leading up to the day. From my point of view, I didn't really have to do much of anything so there was nothing to be anxious about :) I tend to only get anxious before a performance or presentation or things like that where I'm responsible for executing something.
Before bed, I washed with the special antibacterial soap and we changed the bed sheets, pillow cases, and my PJs. Chugged a good liter of water before going to bed.
Day of surgery: Woke up at 4:30am. Showered again with the special antibacterial soap. Said bye to my parents and drove with my wife to the hospital for 6am check-in. The surgery itself would start at 8am. They called my up at around 7am to start prep. I hugged my wife in the waiting area and followed the nurse into the pre-op area where they shaved my chest and legs, wiped me down with some antiseptic wipes, and placed an IV. I waited for about 30 minutes once I was prepped, mostly browsing reddit on my phone and sending funny faces to my wife since I was wearing a dorky shower cap thing, before a team of 2 anesthesiologists came and confirmed all the details about the procedure. They wheeled me off into the OR. The last thing I remember is an anesthesiologist apologizing for all the "stickers" (ECG electrodes I think?) they were putting on me. I have no memory of them starting the anesthesia itself (like the mask or IV; no memory of counting down from 5 or anything like that).
A blink of an eye later, I had teleported to the ICU and woke up with a breathing tube, 3 chest tubes, a Foley cather, and like 3-4 more IVs and arterial lines that I had no memory of (left wrist, right wrist, right elbow, right side of the neck, possibly left elbow? Can't recall). It was slightly uncomfortable but absolutely no pain at all. The most uncomfortable thing was that the breathing machine seemed to have its own cadence for breathing and I wanted to breath my own way. I asked them to remove it but the ICU nurse said it was still too early and they wanted to wait another couple of hours. I was still pretty out of it and I'm pretty sure I was falling asleep here and there. My wife told me that the surgeon had come by and said the surgery went very well, and they were able to repair my valve. There was still some mild regurgitation remaining apparently, but nothing to worry about.
That evening, they removed the breathing tube and I had a bit more awareness. The anesthesia was wearing off and I was starting to feel pain in my lungs, which turned out to be from the chest tubes. Initially it wasn't too bad but over the next couple of days it got quite painful if I ever tried to take a deep breath. So I was taking quite shallow breaths and didn't really want to use the incentive spirometer
Woke up in the middle of the night with severe pain in my right lung and summoned my nurse, who administered dilaudid through my IV and it quickly got better.
Day 2: I was surprised to learn that the pain meds weren't scheduled, and they would only administer them if I asked for it. I was approved for 650mg Tylenol every 6 hours, 10mg oxycodone every 6 hours, and some amount (can't recall) of dilaudid and gabapentin. My recommendation would be to set some timers to ask for the pain meds on a regular cadence to avoid it getting out of hand. My right lung was by far the worst, spiking up to 7-8 on the pain scale whenever I took a deep breath, and holding at 3-4 during shallow breaths. No real pain anywhere else, including the incision.
One of the medicines they administered twice was a day was a Heparin shot, which reduces blood clots. It has to be administered subcutaneously which I found to be quite painful, and I grew to look forward the least to this medication. They also had me on metoprolol for blood pressure.
Around mid-day, they removed the Foley catheter which I would miss -- it was quite nice not to have to worry about urination. They had me get up for the first time, drink some chicken broth, and get weighed. I had gained 16lbs in fluids (160lbs -> 176lbs) so they started me on lasix to eliminate some of that. A PT guy came and had me walk to the neighboring unit and back (about 1 minute of walking) and told me to start practicing my incentive spirometer. I wasn't able to get it any higher than 500 before my right lung would start to hurt.
Soon after, they said I was ready to move out of the ICU. A transport person came, helped me into a wheel chair, and wheeled me off. I settled into the new room. Someone came to take some chest X rays with a mobile X ray machine. It shows I had a mild pneumothorax in my right lung; maybe that was why it was painful. They didn't seem concerned about it and said it would hurt less once the chest tubes came out.
Day 3: One of the chest tubes seemed to be done draining, so they came to remove it. It honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. They had me exhale and hum while they pulled it out in one go. Took about 3 seconds and felt funny, but no pain. My right lung pain immediately got better. I was suddenly able to breath a lot deeper than before and was getting my incentive spirometer up to 1000.
After this point, I never really experienced much pain ever again. Except for the god damn Heparin shots.
I kept drinking chicken broth and apple juice as my only source of calories, and the lasix were in full effect at this point so I was getting up every couple of hours to pee. I was something like 168lbs at this point (lost 8lbs of fluids).
I did 3 walks around the nurse station. About 5 minutes each. Had my first bowel movement somewhere around here. By evening time, my doctor cleared me for a regular diet and I ordered a bunch of fruits and a barley soup.
Getting in and out of bed was a chore -- I had to get help from a nurse every time. It took a good 5 minutes to organize all the tubes every time.
Day 4: The other 2 chest tubes came out, and also the pacing wires. Again no pain, just feels strange and ticklish. Easily tolerable. I suddenly had a ton more freedom. Without the chest tubes, I no longer needed the nurse to get in and out of bed. Tried to get in a couple of longer 10 minute walks, but it was definitely a lot harder. My heart rate would go up to 130 and I would need to go back to bed and lie down to get it back under 100.
I also noticed that sitting upright in a chair and eating food would also spike my heart rate, up into the 120s. I would be a little bit out of breath after eating and would need to lie down.
At mid day, they wheeled me off to get my first post-op echocardiogram. The echo results were very surprising: it showed mild-to-moderate regurgitation, and a completely normal LV size -- 4.5cm LVEDD. My surgeon's PA came by to talk about it, and said that the surgeon disagrees with the echo tech's interpretation of the images and would still classify it as mild regurgitation. More importantly, during surgery when direct visual inspection is possible, it apparently looked quite good. They think once the lasix fully drain me of all the excess fluid, there will be less regurgitation. I asked if it's really possible for the LV to shrink so dramatically in just 4 days (6.9cm to 4.5cm) and she said yep, and in fact it's a sign that the valve is working well. I think I wont really find closure on this until my next echo which is probably many months away so I'm putting it out of mind.
They did say they would switch me from metoprolol to hydralazine, which also reduces blood pressure but has the side effect of increasing the heart rate. Apparently a faster heart rate would be good in my situation to help the valve heal (I guess because faster heart rate = lower volume of blood that is pumped?).
To my surprise, the PA said they were going to discharge me ahead of schedule since I met all the necessary criteria. My blood pressure was pretty steady at around 120/80. I was a bit conflicted since it felt safe at the hospital, but I also did not want any more god damn Heparin shots so I agreed to go home.
At home, I had a wedge pillow but it was a royal PITA to get in and out of bed so I impulse ordered an power lift chair rental which they dropped off the next day.
Day 5: The lift chair arrived, which was amazing. I no longer needed help from my family to get in and out of a horizontal position. I did find that it was important to be horizontal to get my heart rate under control with the hydralazine. Lying completely flat, I was at 100 BPM. Sitting up would take me to 110. Eating would get me to 120 and walking would get me to 130. I would need to go lie down after eating or walking to catch my breath and get my heart rate down.
I went for my first outside walk, where I walked about 4 houses down and back (5 minutes).
I took my first shower sitting on a shower stool. I was very cold after -- probably another side effect of the hydralazine as well -- and struggled to warm back up in bed. I was shivering and was worried for a bit whether I had an infection, but my temperature was normal so I think I was just cold.
My appetite wasn't very good and didn't want to eat what my family had cooked for me. I preferred cold, sweet things and ate a lot of honey net cheerios with cold milk.
I filled my hydralazine in oxycodone prescription, and picked up some tylenol as well. I used the oxy once on day 5, and didn't find the need for it after. I was able to get by just fine with tylenol.
Day 6-10: More of the same. Appetite got a lot better and started eating normally. By day 10, I was able to slowly walk a good 15 minutes in one go, about .5 miles. Around this time I also stopped using the lift chair and was able to get in and out of bed solo without too much difficulty. I also no longer needed the shower stool. It was a bit of a regret to spend a bunch of money on the stool, wedge pillow, and lift chair only to use them for 3-4 days, but they did make those few days quite a bit easier so I'm convincing myself it was money well spent.
Day 11-14: Rapid improvement -- on day 14 I was able to walk 1 mile in 20 minutes, and did it 3 times that day. Heart rate is down to 90 at rest now, and eating doesn't really increase it much. I feel good enough to go back to work honestly (just a desk job, and can work from home). I was half thinking I should try jogging, but I have cardiac therapy starting in a couple of weeks so I'll save my energy for that.
I'm still on the hydralazine and tylenol. I have essentially no pain as long as I'm maintaining the sternal precautions. I'm considering stopping the tylenol to see how it goes.
All in all, I have to say it was a pretty smooth experience and wasn't that bad at all. It seems like it's not completely unlikely that I'll need another surgery in the far future, though hopefully it's at least 15-20 years away. But if it's going to be anything like this, then I really have nothing to worry about. My wife tore her ACL in a skiing accident a few years ago and I have to say the recovery from ACL reconstruction surgery was a lot harder than this!

Even as a PvP main, the rewards for the battleground bonus event and arena skirmish event are so abysmal that it is not worth your time. 5 mark of honor and a smidge of conquest that most PvPers will be capped on by the time they finish the quest. I don’t think it would take much effort to either change the quest or change the reward.

So, like the title says. I'm an Allo partner who is in committed relationship with an Ace partner. We all know asexuality is a spectrum and for her it comes in the fact that she is hypersexual but does not experience sexual attraction to other people. She knows she finds me sexy and hot but in terms of sexuality she doesn't experience the attraction - or at the very least the concept seems extremely difficult for her to grasp. That is all fine by me, I know it's the way she is with everyone, it's a part of her not just a part of our relationship so by no means do I take it personally.
The issue/thing that I'm currently struggling with is the balance of needs and compromise in our sex life. Like I said I'm not ace. And I'm a borderline sex addict tbh. I do not put this on her or demand more of her. I wish I could prove it for sake of the post but I know for a fact. I will let her know whenever I'm in a mood but just as a statement of how I'm feeling (not more than once in a day tho that's pressuring in my head) and let her choose to engage it or not. Every now and then I will let her know if I'm wanting her help with it since she has expressed sometimes I just need to be explicit. And she almost has never chosen to engage in it besides once in our entire relationship. I don't feel bitter or frustrated by this. If anything I'm very very happy and proud of her. She has had issues in the past with setting those boundaries with partners cause she was still finding herself. So I'm extremely, incredibly, amazingly proud of my partner for feeling safe and comfortable enough to chose not to push herself while with me. And it makes me feel very proud of myself for not putting too much pressure on her in this mismatched sexuality situation.
The one caveat is her own hypersexuality mixing with my own trauma. She does not engage when I have a need just for the sake of making me happy, which I love, but she frequently has sexual needs in her own way. Now I'm able to accommodate this. It doesn't feel needy to me. I enjoy helping. It makes me happy, and I feel capable of it without pushing myself like she would have to. I just have a history though. A history of people using me for my body and partners taking more from me than I get in return. She does not do this. I know she doesn't do this. But from my own trauma it feels very hard not to feel this sometimes when sexuality always has to be met on her terms. It would be easier I feel like if she didn't engage it so frequently ironically, altho then we would have the issue of me needing more so I guess we take the strife we are given. But since we do engage in sexuality A LOT. And it's never on my terms. And it requires me to be doing all the physical and mental effort. It's hard not to feel those same feelings I did when I was being used by past people. Like ghost feelings. She's not doing that. Nowhere near close. But I do feel it.
Sexually active at least twice a week over text, once a month in person (since we don't live together and she has strict parents) and many many different ways of showing sexual affection outside of "sessions". We getting it dirty a lot. But she doesn't feel capable of touching me, she doesn't feel capable of knowing I finished or helping me finish, and she doesn't feel capable of formulating words or descriptions for me to get turned on by. I don't blame her nor is that anything I take offense to. But quite often to no fault of her own and definitely factored by my own past, it feels like my enjoyment in our sex life is not a priority but rather an incidental result. Obviously she wants me to be happy. No question. But weirdly enough - in an allo/ace relationship we have sexual interactions a fuck ton...but it feels like none of it is an activity that that is intended to be helping me or even like it's a good thing if I get off during it. Most allo/ace partners struggle with the ace partner having sex to make the allo happy but it is really really a funny issue that in my case we have sex and my happiness feels inconsequential LOL. It sounds terrible but it feels like she's getting to have sex, and I'm masturbating. If we aren't in front of eachother and she wants to get off it feels like I'm porn. When I want to get off it feels like I'm single. Which I know. Following her pace when it comes to sex is something that I will have to adjust to and will be a core part of our relationship. I can do it. I know I can. No doubt. And it helps that she wants it so much. Definitely. Down the line. But rn. I feel like the allo sex doll and not in a fun way. Now I know that's not what she is doing or feeling. But that doesn't change that the feeling is hitting me yk.
I'm a firm believer that for a healthy relationship, that requires at it's core compromise, you don't just need to respond to each according their needs but their ability as well. It can't be one or the other. Sometimes you push yourself for things to work and many times you shouldn't have to do anything you aren't able to do. So I'm able to match her needs. That's something I'm capable of. It also will help us further down the line in which we will be very fortunate that we won't have to make as many compromises as most allo/ace partnerships because I can still get my satisfaction just not alwaya on my own terms. But rn. It NEVER feels like it's on my own terms. It's never a burden helping her. I'm a fucking nymphomaniac I'm always gonna be happy to help lol. But in the nicest way possible it feels like I'm getting a lot demanded of me and I don't feel comfortable or nor do I want to push for more. I also don't wanna be used less. I just want it to feel less like I'm being used.
I know I'm more capable because our personal boundaries and trauma are completely different. So I don't mind in the end if in our form I have to do more work and make more sacrifices. They won't feel like sacrifices to me. But in terms of talking to her about this, she also has some major anxiety issues from people not respecting her boundaries and relationships punishing her being who she is. She never would be angry at me for needing more. She would only feel sorry and worry that it means I'm unhappy. She is someone I've loved unlike anyone else before. She is someone who sex was never a factor or a condition in my interest in her. She is someone who makes me very happy and that I have no doubt will work in spite of anything I just typed. I know we will work it out. I just don't know how to proceed in the meantime. We have made great strides in communication. But due to that anxiety communication is like a 5 day process. If I tell her something is wrong before I can even get out my feelings she is in a panic attack and crying and feeling as if she has made my life terrible. No matter how I put it. This is okay. We process things differently. I know why she is responding that way. Doesn't make it fair to me but I make sure at some point I communicate that the response is bigger then the issue.And after 5 days of back and forth and different levels of anxiety on both our ends - I'll be able to make myself heard a little more, but honestly to make sure it's okay I'll probably have compromised my original statement and feelings more. It'll have become more about the response and how we acted during the communication rather than what I was trying to tell her about how I felt in the first place. It is a challenge. But one we welcome and can manage in our relationship. But with this feeling right here rn. I really. Really. Really want to be oh so careful. I don't want this to feel like a challenge. I don't want anything I say to make her feel like she's not doing enough, like she needs to change for me, like I'm unhappy, or that me feeling the way I feel is her fault. At the core. I don't want to do anythign that validates a single thing those fucks she has had experiences in the past with, said to her or demanded of her. Because she won't be angry at me if she feels that way. She will just feel responsible and feel like they were right all along. And I will not accept her feeling like that. I will not make her feel like that.
So I ask for anyone that dedicated time to read this for help. I'm sorry it was so long. At the end of the day just being able to rant it helps more than anything . Having the thoughts written down is good for me and I hate writing things down for no one to read. It doesn't accomplish anything in my brain. So if anyone has any suggestions on ways that I can approach this specific topic or feeling I would love the advice. I know the key in ace/allo relationships is communication. We have communicated. We do communicate. We will communicate. We have talked about this specific thing before lightly with me feeling she demands a lot of me sexually. But that was a while ago and it was a rough time for her so I'm scared/I want to do this efficiently. She's also on a trip with a big time zone difference so issues taking 5 days to talk through due to anxiety, certainly is something to be wary of/avoid when we are asleep and awake at different times. But I need either more reassurance or something else. Honestly the other option is I can do what I know will happen. And just we work with our lot one day at a time and more and more through our relationship. We don't have a big talk. I just have to - know my feelings, be aware of them, and without having a big dramatic talk about how she did nothing wrong; make little changes to my lifestyle/mindset. In that case I just need help coping with this current feeling.
So either or. If you have advice how to approach this, advice on how to adapt my behavior in a way that is more respectful to my own trauma and not just hers, or advice on how I can cope with these feelings. All are welcome
At the end of the day. I'm in love. I'm confident in us. And I'm not frustrated or annoyed by my partners sexuality. So that at it's core why I want to make sure everyone knows I don't feel like my partner is doing anything wrong and I'm not "sad cause my ace partner doesn't wanna fuck me". I'm just feeling like my sexuality is being used without it being for myself. I feel a part of my sexuality is useful in our relationship, but harms my own mental in the process. And honest to god. Thats probably my fault. I give, a lot. And I think I'm more capable of what I give from myself than I am. I'm worried and anxious because I've been used for my body many times before. And my partner would never. But fuck, maybe I am using myself lol. Using my body and how much I enjoy things as a means of "compromise" so that I cause less issues. But anyway yeah. Thanks for listening! Love to all

I’m 28 and have ~5 years plus a few internships of engineering office/manufacturing experience. When it comes to professional development, I realized a couple years in that being technically smart and communicative are not the only things that matter out here! I have felt embarrassed by things like caring a lot more than necessary, being too intense, and not having the same level of social and relationship awareness/skills that other adults have more of. So that sparked a lot of self awareness research and valuing connecting with others over my own “righteousness” the last few years. At the same time, i know i need to stand by my decisions, and that’s something that is hard for me as a woman engineer too. I also know that i have high expectations of myself and others, and often feel dissatisfied with my job and the world because i feel like things could be so much better if I could connect with a few like minded people. I’m finding it difficult to know if I still need to work on accepting the reality that work is just kind of really far from my idea of optimal, or if i need to go take the plunge and flounder around and fail a bunch to see that what i have is about as good as it gets, or if things really could be better out there. This is kind of intertwined with personal insecurity about being an entitled millennial and expecting a “dream job” to fall into my lap or something. Has anyone else experienced anything similar? How have you found connections with like minded people to help change things for the better? I worry I’m internally becoming a cynical asshole and am ungrateful for the well paying job i have!