Bad cvt stepper motor symptoms

On January 19, my (26f) dad (62) came over to help me hang my tv. He called me after with a heavy slur and telling me he was having a really hard time talking. I called my mom who took him to the ER, feeling pretty confident he just had a mini stroke. All signs pointed to a mini stroke. I so badly. so. badly. wish it was a mini stroke.
They did an MRI, then a contrast MRI, then a CT. They sent him home after a day saying that his symptoms say a stroke but his scans say otherwise. They scheduled some more tests and set him up with a neuro-oncologist for over a month out.
It became a waiting game. His speech would go in and out, some days he was fine, other days he sounded like he was drunk. My dad was convinced it was nothing and he was fine but we all knew it was going to be something.
After his appointment with the neuro oncologist, she said this was a case unlike she’s ever seen and she brought it to the state board for review. A brain biopsy was scheduled to find out more.
March 15th, we finally had answers. Stage 4 glioblastoma. A fast moving, aggressive brain tumor that creates legions and spreads rapidly. Typically treatment entails removing as much of these lesions as possible and doing radiation/chemo to slow the growth, but it will never fully go. Most people make it 12-18 months most with the treatment, and that’s if the tumor responds, which it often doesn’t. The physicians assistant giving these results sounded more positive than what was probably truthful. “We treat this all the time,” she said, “he’s in good hands and his symptoms will be mild with this type of radiation and chemo.
By the time we finally got these answers, his speech was slurry more often than not and he was losing his ability to use his right hand. They scheduled radiation and chemo to begin April 4. Three more weeks of regressing before treatment starts. Three fucking weeks.
My parents decided to get a second opinion at a brain cancer specialty clinic, praying they might have more answers or other treatment options. The neurologist here finally gave some honesty. He told us to enjoy as much time as we can with him. Do all the things he enjoys and take in every moment. He said to get our affairs in order. He said to just be present and love. He said this all through tears, unable to promise a time frame.
Earlier my dad fell when taking out the recycling. He wasn’t able to move his right leg. He was at the house alone, stuck for some time before he could get back inside. He said he was trying to write a message in the rocks because he thought that would be it. Thankfully it wasn’t.
Tonight, he made the decision that he no longer wants to do treatment. He doesn’t want to deal with burns on his scalp and the nausea and exhaustion. He doesn’t want more time if his time is left with half of his body working. He wants to ride out the time he has.
With no treatment, they said most people make it 4-6 months from the first sight of symptoms. We are in month 2 and he has already declined so so much. 2 months ago he was hanging a tv. Playing golf. Hosting parties. Today he can hardly walk.
I am so angry and so sad and feel so hopeless right now. If these doctors knew so early that this was something serious, why the fuck has it taken this long? Why the fuck are we just learning the reality? Why would they schedule radiation 3 weeks out after watching the lesions go from 4cm to 26 in 4 weeks? Why is this happening to my dad? How am I supposed to cope with the fact that I have no idea how much time I have left with him, not to mention how much time it will actually BE him.
My dad will probably not see me get my masters degree in two months. Or pass my boards. Or meet the person I fall in love with. Or walk me down the isle. He won’t meet his future grandkids.
He won’t be there to answer my dumb questions about what tools to use to fix my breaking furniture. He won’t be there with his truck to help me move. He won’t be there to tell me what the sounds my car makes means. He won’t be there to give me hugs and tell me he’s proud of me and make me breakfast when I’m sick. I just bought that online storytelling guide that puts all of his memories into a book at the end of the year. But it’s pointless because he won’t even be here by the end of the year, or even the summer.
I need to get this out because I’m not good at taking the love from the people that care about me even though I have so many that do. I have no idea how to let them love me. I’ve only told maybe 6 people, one of which was my boss. I feel like crawling out of my skin and running away when I’m faced with talking about it. I am devastated and lost as I try to prepare for a world without the man who gave me unconditional love my whole life. The only who ran out of the hospital room when I was born right after I was clean, before my mom even got to hold me. and my mom… how is she supposed to go another 20 years without her person? How is she supposed to live in her home alone when 3 months ago they were traveling and living their best lives together?
I hate what the universe has given to my family. I have no ability to be excited for any of my or my family’s upcoming milestones because I feel hallow and powerless and lonely. So, all I can do is share all of this here, to a group of strangers so I don’t have to make my reality aware of how fucking angry and sad and hopeless I really am.

On January 19, my (26f) dad (62) came over to help me hang my tv. He called me after with a heavy slur and telling me he was having a really hard time talking. I called my mom who took him to the ER, feeling pretty confident he just had a mini stroke. All signs pointed to a mini stroke. I so badly. so. badly. wish it was a mini stroke.
They did an MRI, then a contrast MRI, then a CT. They sent him home after a day saying that his symptoms say a stroke but his scans say otherwise. They scheduled some more tests and set him up with a neuro-oncologist for over a month out.
It became a waiting game. His speech would go in and out, some days he was fine, other days he sounded like he was drunk. My dad was convinced it was nothing and he was fine but we all knew it was going to be something.
After his appointment with the neuro oncologist, she said this was a case unlike she’s ever seen and she brought it to the state board for review. A brain biopsy was scheduled to find out more.
March 15th, we finally had answers. Stage 4 glioblastoma. A fast moving, aggressive brain tumor that creates legions and spreads rapidly. Typically treatment entails removing as much of these lesions as possible and doing radiation/chemo to slow the growth, but it will never fully go. Most people make it 12-18 months most with the treatment, and that’s if the tumor responds, which it often doesn’t. The physicians assistant giving these results sounded more positive than what was probably truthful. “We treat this all the time,” she said, “he’s in good hands and his symptoms will be mild with this type of radiation and chemo.
By the time we finally got these answers, his speech was slurry more often than not and he was losing his ability to use his right hand. They scheduled radiation and chemo to begin April 4. Three more weeks of regressing before treatment starts. Three fucking weeks.
My parents decided to get a second opinion at a brain cancer specialty clinic, praying they might have more answers or other treatment options. The neurologist here finally gave some honesty. He told us to enjoy as much time as we can with him. Do all the things he enjoys and take in every moment. He said to get our affairs in order. He said to just be present and love. He said this all through tears, unable to promise a time frame.
Earlier my dad fell when taking out the recycling. He wasn’t able to move his right leg. He was at the house alone, stuck for some time before he could get back inside. He said he was trying to write a message in the rocks because he thought that would be it. Thankfully it wasn’t.
Tonight, he made the decision that he no longer wants to do treatment. He doesn’t want to deal with burns on his scalp and the nausea and exhaustion. He doesn’t want more time if his time is left with half of his body working. He wants to ride out the time he has.
With no treatment, they said most people make it 4-6 months from the first sight of symptoms. We are in month 2 and he has already declined so so much. 2 months ago he was hanging a tv. Playing golf. Hosting parties. Today he can hardly walk.
I am so angry and so sad and feel so hopeless right now. If these doctors knew so early that this was something serious, why the fuck has it taken this long? Why the fuck are we just learning the reality? Why would they schedule radiation 3 weeks out after watching the lesions go from 4cm to 26 in 4 weeks? Why is this happening to my dad? How am I supposed to cope with the fact that I have no idea how much time I have left with him, not to mention how much time it will actually BE him.
My dad will probably not see me get my masters degree in two months. Or pass my boards. Or meet the person I fall in love with. Or walk me down the isle. He won’t meet his future grandkids.
He won’t be there to answer my dumb questions about what tools to use to fix my breaking furniture. He won’t be there with his truck to help me move. He won’t be there to tell me what the sounds my car makes means. He won’t be there to give me hugs and tell me he’s proud of me and make me breakfast when I’m sick. I just bought that online storytelling guide that puts all of his memories into a book at the end of the year. But it’s pointless because he won’t even be here by the end of the year, or even the summer.
I need to get this out because I’m not good at taking the love from the people that care about me even though I have so many that do. I have no idea how to let them love me. I’ve only told maybe 6 people, one of which was my boss. I feel like crawling out of my skin and running away when I’m faced with talking about it. I am devastated and lost as I try to prepare for a world without the man who gave me unconditional love my whole life. The only who ran out of the hospital room when I was born right after I was clean, before my mom even got to hold me. and my mom… how is she supposed to go another 20 years without her person? How is she supposed to live in her home alone when 3 months ago they were traveling and living their best lives together?
I hate what the universe has given to my family. I have no ability to be excited for any of my or my family’s upcoming milestones because I feel hallow and powerless and lonely. So, all I can do is share all of this here, to a group of strangers so I don’t have to make my reality aware of how fucking angry and sad and hopeless I really am.

The School of Life has posted an article with 10 ideas for people afraid to exit a bad relationship. The article suggests that the emotional loneliness one feels in a bad relationship is worse than the practical loneliness one may experience after leaving. It encourages people to trust and like themselves, and to consider what they would really like to happen next if practical hurdles were not an issue. The article asserts that conquering the fear of being alone will ultimately lead to satisfying love in the future.
This really helped me, coming out of an unsatisfactory relationship.
10 Ideas for People Afraid to Exit a Relationship 1. You are, to a far greater extent than you perhaps realise, already alone. The condition you fear will happen has already happened. To be formally alone would merely mean concretising something that has been your reality for a long time anyway and, paradoxically, would be the first step towards helping you to bring the isolation and agonising frustration to a deserved close.

1. The emotional loneliness you currently feel cannot end until you bring yourself to endure a period of practical loneliness; which is, as you of course know (but are terrified of knowing), the lesser of the two evils. The awkwardness of dinner by yourself is as nothing compared to the soul-crushing horror of feeling repeatedly and existentially misunderstood by the central person in your life. Someone who stubbornly doesn’t get it is a greater rebuke to who you are than an empty chair.
   
2. You are spending a lot of energy defending yourself against legitimate hope by leaning unfairly on some undoubted general truths: that all lovers are flawed and that all honeymoon periods end. To tease out this reassuring but ultimately self-serving exaggeration, change ‘lovers’ to ‘movies’ or ‘holiday destinations.’ It is as factually correct to insist that there are no perfect lovers as to point out that there are no perfect films or resorts. But this is no argument for refusing ever to change TV channels or for denying that there might be an appreciable difference between Birmingham and Lake Como. There is, simply and squarely, such a thing as, ‘better’ and ‘worse’, a truth no less correct for being – as yet – hugely difficult to contemplate.
   
3. It is worse to be ostensibly together while privately disconnected than to be properly, publicly, firmly by yourself, just as it is better to be allowed to cry than forced to smile while burning inside.
   
4. What is really holding us back is something a little unexpected in the background: that we don’t trust or like ourselves very much, that we feel underserving and ashamed of ourselves (it’s to do with childhood). Our inability to leave is a symptom of self hatred. If we were firmly on our own side, it would be immediately evident that we deserved and could lay claim to something a great deal more sustaining.
   
5. Complete the following sentence: ‘If all the practical hurdles could be taken care of as if by magic (the agony of telling them, the difficulty of finding a new place, the embarrassment of breaking the news to mutual friends etc), what I would really like to happen next is…’ Ignoring your reply means sacrificing yet more of your life on the altar of a tricky chat with certain acquaintances who don’t care anyway or of a boring afternoon or two with an estate agent. Your most precious commodity is time. And on death beds, no medals are handed out for endurance and a limitless capacity to consume bowls of misery.
   
6. The suffering caused by being alone is far easier to endure and assuage than the suffering of a bad relationship. Compared with the appalling impact of squabbles, misunderstandings, bitterness and coldness, being on your own is a condition unworthy of serious concern. The only thing that truly deserves our terror is the prospect of life without a connection to someone we can admire and adore.
   
7. You are implicitly assuming that being alone in the future will be an exact replica of how being alone felt before this relationship. And yet your experience in this couple will forever alter how you interpret the discomforts of the single state. The time before you were in this will not be the same as that which will follow once you are out of it: without noticing, silently, you have been acquiring an advanced diploma in compassion, gratitude and contented aloneness.
   
8. Conquering the fear of being alone will be the ultimate guarantee of satisfying love henceforth. People who feel they have no choice make bad choices
   
9. The relationship that is right for you isn’t the one without problems, isn’t the one where you won’t occasionally be desperate, lose your temper and behave atrociously, it’s one where you will never feel – as you do now – the constant doubt as to whether or not you should even really be here. You will be unhappy sometimes, but you’ll know in your marrow that getting out isn’t what you secretly long for; you will (fortunately for you) never want to read, or get anything out of, an essay like this again.
   

https://www.theschooloflife.com/article/10-ideas-for-people-afraid-to-exit-a-relationship/

On January 19, my (26f) dad (62) came over to help me hang my tv. He called me after with a heavy slur and telling me he was having a really hard time talking. I called my mom who took him to the ER, feeling pretty confident he just had a mini stroke. All signs pointed to a mini stroke. I so badly. so. badly. wish it was a mini stroke.
They did an MRI, then a contrast MRI, then a CT. They sent him home after a day saying that his symptoms say a stroke but his scans say otherwise. They scheduled some more tests and set him up with a neuro-oncologist for over a month out.
It became a waiting game. His speech would go in and out, some days he was fine, other days he sounded like he was drunk. My dad was convinced it was nothing and he was fine but we all knew it was going to be something.
After his appointment with the neuro oncologist, she said this was a case unlike she’s ever seen and she brought it to the state board for review. A brain biopsy was scheduled to find out more.
March 15th, we finally had answers. Stage 4 glioblastoma. A fast moving, aggressive brain tumor that creates legions and spreads rapidly. Typically treatment entails removing as much of these lesions as possible and doing radiation/chemo to slow the growth, but it will never fully go. Most people make it 12-18 months most with the treatment, and that’s if the tumor responds, which it often doesn’t. The physicians assistant giving these results sounded more positive than what was probably truthful. “We treat this all the time,” she said, “he’s in good hands and his symptoms will be mild with this type of radiation and chemo.
By the time we finally got these answers, his speech was slurry more often than not and he was losing his ability to use his right hand. They scheduled radiation and chemo to begin April 4. Three more weeks of regressing before treatment starts. Three fucking weeks.
My parents decided to get a second opinion at a brain cancer specialty clinic, praying they might have more answers or other treatment options. The neurologist here finally gave some honesty. He told us to enjoy as much time as we can with him. Do all the things he enjoys and take in every moment. He said to get our affairs in order. He said to just be present and love. He said this all through tears, unable to promise a time frame.
Earlier my dad fell when taking out the recycling. He wasn’t able to move his right leg. He was at the house alone, stuck for some time before he could get back inside. He said he was trying to write a message in the rocks because he thought that would be it. Thankfully it wasn’t.
Tonight, he made the decision that he no longer wants to do treatment. He doesn’t want to deal with burns on his scalp and the nausea and exhaustion. He doesn’t want more time if his time is left with half of his body working. He wants to ride out the time he has.
With no treatment, they said most people make it 4-6 months from the first sight of symptoms. We are in month 2 and he has already declined so so much. 2 months ago he was hanging a tv. Playing golf. Hosting parties. Today he can hardly walk.
I am so angry and so sad and feel so hopeless right now. If these doctors knew so early that this was something serious, why the fuck has it taken this long? Why the fuck are we just learning the reality? Why would they schedule radiation 3 weeks out after watching the lesions go from 4cm to 26 in 4 weeks? Why is this happening to my dad? How am I supposed to cope with the fact that I have no idea how much time I have left with him, not to mention how much time it will actually BE him.
My dad will probably not see me get my masters degree in two months. Or pass my boards. Or meet the person I fall in love with. Or walk me down the isle. He won’t meet his future grandkids.
He won’t be there to answer my dumb questions about what tools to use to fix my breaking furniture. He won’t be there with his truck to help me move. He won’t be there to tell me what the sounds my car makes means. He won’t be there to give me hugs and tell me he’s proud of me and make me breakfast when I’m sick. I just bought that online storytelling guide that puts all of his memories into a book at the end of the year. But it’s pointless because he won’t even be here by the end of the year, or even the summer.
I need to get this out because I’m not good at taking the love from the people that care about me even though I have so many that do. I have no idea how to let them love me. I’ve only told maybe 6 people, one of which was my boss. I feel like crawling out of my skin and running away when I’m faced with talking about it. I am devastated and lost as I try to prepare for a world without the man who gave me unconditional love my whole life. The only who ran out of the hospital room when I was born right after I was clean, before my mom even got to hold me. and my mom… how is she supposed to go another 20 years without her person? How is she supposed to live in her home alone when 3 months ago they were traveling and living their best lives together?
I hate what the universe has given to my family. I have no ability to be excited for any of my or my family’s upcoming milestones because I feel hallow and powerless and lonely. So, all I can do is share all of this here, to a group of strangers so I don’t have to make my reality aware of how fucking angry and sad and hopeless I really am.

Are there any ex smokers out there that are past the 2 year clean mark after smoking heavily for 15+ years that are one of the lucky ones to not suffer severe symptoms but know they’ve passed the healing checkpoint of 2 years and can chime in on their journey even though their symptoms didn’t get near the ones that are unfortunate to have it very badly?

I 24f tested positive for HSV2 about three weeks ago, I had a swab test done due to an outbreak I was having. I had never had symptoms before. My current partner went to get tested a couple days after finding out I tested positive but we are very confused about the test results. I’m not sure if anyone on here would be able to help me with them? HSV 2 IgG 104.000 does that mean he’s positive also? I know the blood test results can sometimes be false. I just feel really bad because he is not taking it well like I imagined. Which I understand, I felt the same way once I found out. We’re just trying to figure out if I had been having it before I started dating him or he’s the one who gave it to me.

Almost a year ago, I confided in a therapist that I experience neither empathy nor guilt, and she diagnosed me with Antisocial Personality Disorder.
While I do not experience guilt, if I had a time machine and could go back and fix my mistakes, I would. A person doesn't need to feel like shit to know they did wrong. For my own ego, for my own selfish reasons, I wish I could have lived a life in which I was truly harmless and caused no hurt to anyone. I wish I could live a life from now on where no one is ever hurt because of me.
While I do not experience affective empathy, cognitive is easy. People's emotions make sense, even if they themselves don't believe them to.
The thing about my lack of empathy, however, is that I would feel it if I could. I value human life as much as a person can without the emotion of love. I have no desire to harm anyone. I would prefer to have lots of friends whom I love and who love me. If I could push a button to give me those feelings, I would press it in a heartbeat. I don't WANT to use and manipulate others. I want to love. I want to love genuinely.
I've since come to understand that people with ASPD are NOT bad people, that having it doesn't make you evil, and that, if I do have it, it's not the end of the world.
However, a number of other factors have caused me to wonder if I was misdiagnosed. I exhibit a LOT of ADHD symptoms, and ADHD occurs frequently with autism. Some individuals with autism ALSO have low/no affective empathy. I had believed it was unlikely that I had autism, as I believed I was great at social interaction, to which my brother informed me that I am, in his words, "one of the most socially inept people he knows." I also recently found out that my habit of repeating a word someone just said to me--for example, just recently my mother said a sentence with the word socks, and I, having nothing to add, just replied "sooocks!"--is something autistic people might do.
And today, my step mother also informed me that she sees similarities between me and my manager, who has autism.
Again, if I truly am Antisocial, it's okay. I've learned that I can't just go demonizing people like that. It's not fair. I'm not evil, whatever I am. Still, is it possible that the label I was given is incorrect?

inguinal lymph nodes constantly sore/ tender 1 year after surgery.
Long story short I have idiopathic scrotal lymphedema. My scrotum was removed and reconstructed by a plastic surgeon with skin that wasn't affected by the lymphedema. This was 13 months ago. My issue is ever since the surgery my inguinal lymph nodes are constantly sore/tender. They sometimes get really bad and I get an infection which I believe is called Cellulitis. I get a crazy fever and infection like symptoms. I have Antibiotics on hand that I can take but would really rather not. The issue seems to be getting worse rather than better the last 4-5 months.
Also over the last 4-5 months I've been getting allot of cold's. Feels like twice a month. I also had strep throat in February which is not common for me. Something tells me my immune system is worn down.
I'm dying to know what causes my inguinal lymph nodes to often be sore and tender? and why it may contribute to a worn out immune system. l'm getting pretty concerned since it seems to be getting worse and I hate taking the antibiotics !
M42 and I'm in pretty good shape. Lift weights, active and eat well. I don’t smoke or do drugs. overall I'm healthy other than this issue and my Lymphedema .....
Any ideas?

TL;DR My gf (29)decided that love alone isn’t enough. She’s exhausted and tired of feeling like I’m (36) hiding things with my ex (38) who I’m divorcing and have 2 kids with.

Ok. First time ever doing this. Here goes:
We met online in October and spoke for 3 weeks before meeting. She lives outside NYC and I’m in NC. We had instant chemistry. She opened up to me about things she’s never shared with anyone. We had so much fun together. I’m pretty low key and she made me feel like a kid again. I scared the shit out of her. She told me a month into dating that she’d never felt this way before, even when she was engaged to a guy she dated for a couple years. It terrified her because she felt like she wasn’t in control of her emotions for the first time in her life. She was doing things she wasn’t used to. Our sex life was amazing. She came every time after claiming she’d had less than 5 in her life.
She gave me a chance she’d never given anyone. See, I’m separated (8 years married) with two sons (6 and 8). She’s never dated anyone who was married or had kids. She played Roblox with my kids on FaceTime and her nephews played with us too. She talked about moving here and told me she wanted kids in 2-3 years with me, something she was surprised about herself bc she didn’t want kids with any relationship previous. She was willing to move here in a year or so once her business was doing well. She’s very successful and is on her third company. I do well enough to have a collection of exotic cars and am building my real estate business which employee 20 people and growing.
With all that said, we were madly in love and every moment together felt like that teenage love I hadn’t experienced since I was like 16. We also pushed each other and helped each other grow. I picked up good habits from her and she did too.
The problem: she’s got a lot going on in her life. Her family burdens her a lot. She supports and caretakes for her sisters kids a lot. She has a key role in their family business. And she’s trying to buy a home now and start own in things because she feels like at 29 she’s behind and this is the most critical time of her life to make something of herself. I knew in the beginning that she’s feeling like everyone relies on her and puts pressure on her and she puts pressure on herself. I wanted to be her comfortable space, but instead I became another stressor.
I’ve hidden a lot about my relationship with my ex. We’re not friends anymore, but are trying to coparent. We didn’t hire lawyers and share 50/50 custody. But my ex decided to become a shaman and changed her entire personality after we split to where she’s doing shrooms and smoking weed all day and posts about healing people. I take the perspective of “I don’t care, she can do whatever” but my gf thinks she’s toxic and is trying to control me still. She has always felt like I’m too accommodating to my ex and I don’t set boundaries. My gf told me many times she didn’t want to be in the middle of things and involved in stuff with a “crazy ex” so I deleted texts with my ex where my ex would go off on me and call me names and threaten to hire a lawyer and drag this out. I told my gf things were smooth and she always had a feeling I wasn’t be truthful about it. She said she doesn’t trust my judgement in dealing with my ex and also has caught me in a couple white lies where I downplayed things like how hard my ex was making our divorce. I saw it as I need to keep this under the radar for 2 more months until the paperwork is done, then I’ll cut the cord with my ex with no fears.
Anyway, 4 days ago, my gf said that she loves me but she can’t take the stress she feels anymore. It’s making her feel toxic, like she wants to do things she never would normally do like reading text messages. She concluded, while crying, that it’s all too much for her right now and she’s got to end it.
So, I’m in love with this woman. I had plans for the future with her in my heart. But I know I need to work on some things. I need to establish boundaries with my ex and cut the cord finally. I need to figure out why I struggle to be 100% transparent until confronted and trust that someone can handle what I tell them even if it’s bad news. I also know that there’s nothing I can say to her right now that would make her stress go away. She’s given me chances. I thought things were better. I’d fix whatever was brought up but that was just one symptom of the root cause. So I don’t think winning her back right now would help bc the root cause hasn’t been solved.
I’m thinking of taking a month to work on myself. Give her time to destress. Hope that we’re meant to be and that she doesn’t move on.
She’s trying to quit me cold turkey and isn’t communicating right now, btw.

I posted this long multi-comment thread on the megathread last Sunday, and several people suggested that I make it its own post, so here goes. Note this post is lightly edited from the original comment to improve readability and preserve some arguments made by another commenter in that thread without me having to do the hard work of editing the whole post to reflect their well-taken counterpoints. For those who read the original, it hasn't changed in any significant way except that one link. This post is largely my own analysis supported by links to a variety of credible sources.
Dr. Sovietlove; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Bakhmut
Many people on the daily megathread or on Twitter have been arguing that holding out in Bakhmut has caused enormous and unsustainable Ukrainian losses which will compromise their future offensive potential, and/or that Soviet-style leadership is the only reason the Ukrainians have held on to Bakhmut for so long. Much like during the Battle of Severodonetsk, I think a lot of people are overreacting to events in the Donbas and that the Ukrainians might have a perfectly reasonable strategic justification for continuing to defend Bakhmut. I have a few hypotheses about the situation and put together some analysis and sources to support those conclusions below.
My hypotheses in brief:

1. Ukraine effectively has two armies, one post-Soviet and one NATO. UAF high commmand has recognized that they have to fight the Russians with an only partially modernized military which includes significant numbers of officers, soldiers, and equipment not suitable for NATO-style warfare. They recognize that you can't "beat a large Soviet army with a small one." They have therefore formulated a strategy to use the post-Soviet and NATO-style units where their particular strengths are most relevant, and are largely resourcing and employing them separately as a result.
2. The UAF is aggressively applying economy of force principles, which dictate that an army should devote the maximum amount of resources to their primary effort, while allocating the smallest amount possible to any secondary efforts. Thus, the Ukrainians are committing the fewest possible resources to holding the line of contact in the Donbas while reserving as much as possible for their primary effort, which is the coming counteroffensive.
3. Ukraine along with their allies and soft power proxies such as friendly journalists, whether knowingly or not, have been engaged in a disinformation campaign designed to lure Putin into committing the last of his mobilized reserves to an assault on Bakhmut in the last days of the mud season before the Ukrainian spring counteroffensive.

I'd like to emphasize that these are assessments backed by analysis and facts which you can check yourself below, but are definitely not by any means 100% certain.
Two Armies
The post-Soviet army can be characterized by its leadership, organization, and resources.

• Leaders tend to be older senior officers trained under Soviet regime pre-2014, although the culture also pervades lower ranks (although that is unsurprising given leadership influence). These officers are often difficult to retrain in the field, tend to punish rather than encourage junior officer initiative, and prefer top-down command-and-control style.
• These units include many irregular formations, e.g. TDF and National Guard. Of the regular army units in this mold, they tend to be those low on the priority list for upgrades, e.g. motorized brigades that haven't been uparmored to mech brigades yet, and/or ones with the largest proportion of Soviet-derived equipment.
• Many such units are organized as light infantry, typically either motorized or TD brigades, sometimes airmobile. So not much armor or IFVs, unlike what is seen with the regular army mech brigades. Instead they largely rely on many of the thousands of IMVs and APCs donated by western allies for some amount of armored mobility.
• Much less training than regular army in some cases. In the first few days of the war, many of these units were literally just the volunteers that showed up and were handed rifles with no questions asked.
• More conscripts and fewer volunteers being used to provide replacements for these units.
• Fewer professional military officers. Hence reports like this one about an officer seeing 100% turnover in his battalion until he was the only professional officer left.

These units are generally not going to be as useful for offensives, but are certainly capable of holding a fortified defensive line, albeit likely at dreadfully high cost in some cases. Light infantry are surprisingly resilient to artillery fire when dug in properly, and so are an effective check against the (apparently declining) Russian artillery advantage. ATGMs and mines also make it possible for them to resist all but the most carefully coordinated combined arms assaults, which are a vanishingly rare occurence coming from the RuAF. And these units were relatively cheap to equip and quick to train. So they are well-suited for countering the three primary Russian numerical advantages in artillery, armor, and raw manpower, at least while fighting defensively in prepared positions.
On the other hand, their NATO-style forces are better suited for combined arms maneuver warfare and thus offensives. They emphasize distributed decision making, tactical flexibility, and robust communications between different units and levels of the command. That enables flexible coordination of multiple capabilities on the attack, such that defending against one capability makes defending against the others harder. e.g. suppressing entrenched infantry with artillery while mechanized units traverse open killing ground during an assault in order to bring their tank and IFV guns to bear on those infantry to suppress them after the artillery lets up. Ukraine is in the process of building out or deploying around 20-28 new brigades of this type. I feel a little bad sourcing to a comment from this megathread rather than a credible third-party source, but offogredux puts together truly excellent summaries of the current structure of Ukrainian forces, so why reinvent the wheel? Plus their information matches what I've seen elsewhere, including the less consolidated information available here on militaryland. Notably, some units are being built around smaller veteran battalion- or regiment-sized separate units that are upsized to brigades, while others are entirely new formations, but likely include substantial numbers of veteran leaders at all levels.
Ok, so where is this "NATO" army?
There are reports of extreme deficits of NATO-trained personnel at the front, which are typically presented as a sign of Ukrainian weakness (n.b., see below for more on why to treat any Ukrainian-sourced reports of Ukrainian weakness with a healthy dose of skepticism). Often sources attribute the deficit to high casualty rates among those personnel during the earlier stages of the war. Best estimates are that the Ukrainians have lost around 120k soldiers. They started the war with around 250k personnel, of whom perhaps 20k were US-trained veterans.
Since then, the UK, EU, and US have trained something like an additional 20k+ soldiers (possibly with some overlap with the other 20k, but likely insignificant numbers if so), with plans to expand training for tens of thousands of additional troops over the next year. So even if every single one of the pre-war NATO-trained personnel are casualties, the total number of NATO-trained personnel in the UAF has at worst remained constant, at best it has doubled, and in any case it will only continue to grow as the western training programs ramp up and the Ukrainians disseminate those skills by assigning NATO-trained personnel to their own training centers. (Note: when I first posted this, VigorousElk made an excellent counter-argument to this point here which is worth considering and I didn't want to cut out of the conversation by moving this to a text post. I don't think it undermines the overall thrust of the argument, though.)
However, the overall proportion of NATO-trained personnel in the UAF has almost certainly declined because mobilization has likely increased the total size of their forces by more than a factor of two, so the overall proprtion declined even if the total number of NATO-trained soldiers actually did double (which is very, very doubtful and the 40k number should be treated as an extremely loose upper bound). That proportion is probably even lower on the front lines if the UAF have allocated those soldiers to new unit formation and units held in reserve for the upcoming offensive. So even if the Ukrainians haven't experienced particularly high casualty rates among such soldiers, we should expect to see far fewer of them on the lines right now. Meaning we can't infer the execess casualty rate from the composition of front line units, as many commentators have, nor do we need a particularly high casualty rate to explain why there are so few of them at the front. Just the formation of so many new brigades must have sucked up all of the available experienced junior officers and NCOs, especially if the UAF are trying to concentrate NATO-trained personnel into specific units. Again that doesn't mean they haven't experienced high casualties, just that the issue probably isn't as bad as some of these articles have made out.
I suspect some of the authors of these articles have taken that position because of selection bias, e.g., Franz-Stefan Gad, who visited the front near Bakhmut with Michael Kofman recently. If you are only visiting the units that are intentionally being staffed with fewer NATO-trained personnel, you shouldn't be surprised to see fewer NATO-trained personnel. Their absence doesn't indicate permanent backsliding across the entire UAF, demonstrate the incompetence of the Ukrainians, nor prove that the Ukrainians have suffered anything near 100% casualties among their NATO-trained NCOs. Instead, it just reflects the relative prioritization of scarce resources by UAF command. In a recent War on the Rocks podcast episode, Kofman specifically pointed out that his visit (and by extension his companions' visits) did not involve any kind of general or systematic survey of the Ukrainian forces, and so any conclusions based on his observations should not be taken to be totally representative of what is happening across the entire UAF right now.
Cool. Where are the "Soviet" units then?
It helps to put yourself in Zaluzhny's shoes here. You have two big chunks of your armed forces that operate in very different ways and which are suitable for very different tasks. You are finding it difficult to encourage the newly mobilized senior officers to let go of their Soviet habits, but you also need them because there is no one else who is immediately prepared to lead newly mobilized formations. So you make the obvious, logical decision to use the Soviet-style mobilized commanders how and where you can best make use of them, while hopefully keeping their habits contained and isolated from your more professional units. The best place for those commanders in this war is probably on the defensive in the trenches, where rapid decision-making around complex maneuvers is less often necessary, light infantry can be effective at attriting enemy armored and maneuver forces, individual soldiers don't need as much training to be effective, combined arms operations are less frequent and more easily choreographed, the risk of catastrophic failure is less, and logistics are dramatically simpler than for an offensive force on the move with many vehicles requiring ammo, fuel, and maintenance.
The allocation of armored assets supports this conclusion. Per Oryx, Ukraine has received almost exactly the same number of Soviet-derived tanks from their western partners as they have lost so far in this war (488+ donated Soviet-variant tanks versus around 477 lost). Plus captured Russian equipment, they almost certainly have more armor available now than they did at the beginning of the war, not even taking into account the impending introduction of western tanks. Yet there are reports from the front lines that armor is relatively scarce and lightly used. It seems the UAF have combined multiple brigades into ad hoc corps or divisions along stretches of the line of contact (what Jomini calls a "defensive grouping") to fill in the gap left by the absence of real formations above brigade size in the Ukrainian ground forces TOE.
That grouping often consists of several lighter brigades holding the front line backed by a smaller number of more professionalized and/or heavily armored mech or armor brigades as the reserve. e.g., the UAF defensive grouping around Bakhmut in February, which consisted of two mech brigades backing two TDF brigades, one airmobile brigade, and one marine brigade, all equipped exclusively with Soviet-derived armor and IFVs, along with limited quantities of older western IMVs and APCs like the M113. So light infantry in the trenches, with armor in the rear to plug holes or provide indirect fire support. This approach allows the UAF to allocate the fewest number of regular mechanized and armored army units to the front, freeing up capacity for re-equiping and training for an offensive. It also puts the least amount of strain on their tank and IFV supplies, by making heaviest use of their soon-to-be legacy vehicles, which are also conveniently the ones more Soviet-minded commanders are most familiar with. Hence the relative dearth of armor at the front, even though we should expect more tanks and IFVs than were available at the beginning of the war. The reduced armor commitment comes at the expense of the light infantry in the trenches, who absorb Russian attacks without the benefit of enough tank or IFV support. Further evidence for the idea that lighter forces reliant more on IMVs/APCs form the bulk of forces around Bakhmut includes the UAF charging Russian lines riding M113s in the vicinty of Bakhmut literally yesterday. Which feels a bit like the modern equivalent to the apocryphal story about Polish cavalry charging tanks during WW2, but I guess they have to make do with the tools available.
Does the presence of Soviet-influenced commanders at the front indicate that the decision to hold Bakhmut was made by such officers blindly applying Soviet doctrine? I would argue probably not. Syrsky and Zaluzhny have long-established reputations as very much not that sort of officer, and both have reviewed and approved the decision to hold in Bakhmut. More importantly, and without relying on an appeal to their authority, there are sufficient strategic and operational justifications to continue the defense there, even if it is on less favorable terms than other defensive efforts across the front. Specifically, attriting Russian reserves to reduce their resistance to an offensive, much like what happened in Kharkiv last August.
If attriting Russian reserves is the goal, how can these conscript-heavy formations with Soviet-style leadership best do so?
Right now, Russia only has a single division held in reserve. That would be the 2nd Motorized Rifle Division, elements of which have likely been committed to combat already. This reserve exists to exploit any breakthroughs achieved by assaults on the Ukrainian defenses and to plug any holes in the Russian lines resulting from UAF attacks. If the reserve is depleted before the Ukrainian counter-offensive, the UAF will be able to achieve much more progress much more quickly. Once they breach the Russian lines, there is nothing to stop a penetration into operational depths. Even though the Russians have fortified extensive fallback positions on secondary lines throughout occupied Ukraine, they need reserves to hold those lines if the front lines are penetrated and the Russian units there are unable to withdraw to secondary positions in good order. Withdrawal under fire is a challenging task and one for which only the VDV has demonstrated any capacity on the Russian side. There is also no new wave of Russian mobilization yet to provide any further reserves any time in the near future. Thus, the more Russian reserves the UAF can burn through now, the better their chances on the offensive will be.
There's been a lot of talk about the loss ratio between the belligerents and how that ratio makes a retreat from Bakhmut likely necessary, but ultimately the loss ratio matters less than absolute numbers of Russian reserves attrited. Because the Russians are nearly out of reserves, a UAF attrition strategy may tip them into a full-on rout. If the Ukrainian leaders knew objectively they needed to inflict 1000 more casualties on the Russians to achieve victory, it would be worth losing many times as many Ukrainian soldiers to inflict those casualties. Achieving victory is often worth accepting unfavorable loss ratios, otherwise no one would ever go on the offensive. In any case, the friendly-to-enemy casualty ratios are still almost certainly in Ukraine's favor simply because they are defending, and there have been no serious reports at all that suggest any departure from that norm. So we aren't even talking about the Ukrainians suffering an unfavorable loss ratio at all, just a slightly less favorable one when compared to real ratios from different areas of the front or when compared to hypothesized loss ratios at proposed fallback defensive positions. Rob Lee and DefMon thus both make variations of the same error. They failed to compare the loss ratios around Bakhmut to the expected loss ratios for the offensive, because ultimately the Ukrainians face a choice between attriting the Russian reserves around Bakhmut now, or when they are on the offensive.
Why don't the Ukrainians retreat and get an even more favorable ratio in a better position?
First, because the Russian offensive will culminate in Bakhmut (or it already has) and the RuAF will likely enter an operational pause because of depleted offensive power. That pause will likely last longer than the Ukrainians plan to wait for their counterattack. Basically, only the possibility of victory in Bakhmut can induce the Russians to continue wasting their soldiers lives so recklessly before the spring. Second, because the current loss ratios are pretty well understood and relatively predictable, which is not necessarily true if they retreat. Retreating under fire is challenging even for elite units, and results are naturally unpredictable. Assessing the hypothetical defensibility of any fallback positions is also challenging, especially with sufficient accuracy to be able to meaningfully predict what kind of loss ratio improvements you might gain from repositioning. Third--and this reason is entirely hypothetical--it is possible that the Ukrainians have sufficient intelligence about Russian reserves to know exactly how long they need to hold out, and so perceive the hopefully quite proximate end to a battle that appears to us as outsiders as a limitless meatgrinder that will continue to waste Ukrainian lives indefinitely into the far future. Essentially, they know the price they are paying and what they are getting for it more precisely than we do.
In contrast, on the offensive, the UAF will likely experience a loss ratio that favors the Russians, even if the offensive is generally successful. The exchange in Bakhmut will be particularly favorable if they are able to trade less well-trained conscript formations for the few remaining high quality Russian formations such as Wagner's assault units and the remnants of the VDV. Notably the VDV played a critical role in holding the line in Kherson and delaying the UAF's offensive there until the successful Russian withdrawal across the Dnipro, and it seems reasonable that the Ukrainians don't want to see a repeat delay that may buy time for subsequent waves of Russian force generation. Bottom line, the Ukrainians need to fight these Russian reserves no matter what, and it will nearly always be more favorable to fight them on the defensive than offensive. The challenge with fighting them on the defensive is that the Russians need to agree to go on the offensive first, which means the Ukrainians need to fool the Russians into thinking an attack benefits their strategic objectives. Blessedly, the "we are lucky they are so fucking stupid" guy continues to be the reigning champ of summarizing this war in a single laconic sentence and the Russians have been willing to oblige the Ukrainians with attacks all throughout the mud season.
But by "fool the Russians", I really mean fool Putin. He is micromanaging the war, even dictating decisions at the level of colonels or brigadiers such as when to commit reserves, and that likely includes the much more momentous decision to commit the very last of their available combat reserves. He has repeatedly pushed the RuAF to make objectively poor military decisions for political purposes, and he does not receive reliable information, because he has reduced his circle of confidants to only a couple of advisors who largely tell him what he wants to hear and he does little to gather his own independent information.
Putin is also a classic bully in the distinctive style of the KGB, as Yale professor of history Timothy Snyder describes in an interview here. Their method is always to look for an opponent's weaknesses, and then to ruthlessly expand and exploit those weaknesses. Probably worth mentioning that Timothy Snyder has met with and advised Zelensky directly, so his views aren't just an academic theory, they reflect and influence the views of the actual Ukrainian decisionmakers. Those decisionmakers clearly understand that Putin's instinct is to attack weakness with maximum force, and therefore carefully shape perceptions of Ukrainian weakness to mislead Putin into attacking the wrong targets. I mean, it's pretty widely accepted that the Ukrainains signal weakness intentionally when trying to attract western support, so why should it be surprising that they apply the same techniques to deceiving Putin?
And that is also another reason why the Ukrainians can't just throw their best troops into the battle. If there were no weakness around Bakhmut, the Russians would simply stop attacking with those critically valuable remaining high quality VDV formations.
What weaknesses should the Ukrainians use to mislead Putin?
Putin is not an idiot, so the UAF can't simply invent weaknesses out of thin air. Instead, they have to find ways to exaggerate some real weaknesses while downplaying others. In this case, I think they are combining their very real Soviet-hangover leadership weakness with their related difficulties around conscription to lure the Russians into attacking Bakhmut under unfavorable conditions. Specifically, I am referring to the stories around conscription problems which imply manpower deficits across the board for the UAF and stories suggesting the defense of Bakhmut will compromise future UAF counteroffensives. Playing up those particular weaknesses presents an ideal picture to appeal to Putin's prejudices and his desperation for a politically palatable conclusion to the hostilities. If you blame Soviet-style leadership, it makes the Ukrainians look dumb and incompetent for not retreating, and suggests they remain saddled by the same legacy that has so limited Russian military capabilities during this war, which plays to Putin's belief in Russian superiority. It also suggests to Putin that not only can he achieve the minimally viable political victory he so desperately needs by taking Bakhmut, he can also compromise the Ukrainian ability to conduct future counteroffensives with the very same blow, opening the way for a negotiated settlement that freezes the current lines (plus/minus changes around Bakhmut). It's really the best remaining even theoretically conceivable outcome for Putin, and many of the recent stories and leaks from Ukrainian-aligned media seem perfectly crafted to suggest continuing to attack Bakhmut could very well achieve that outcome. Suspiciously perfect, I would argue.
There have been few reports of widespread difficulty around draft dodging in Ukraine until quite recently, well into the battle for Bakhmut, when suddenly a flood of stories appeared in the media about people avoiding conscription and Ukrainian officials aggressively conscripting people against their will, e.g. from the Economist and Newsweek. Which struck me as odd, considering that the Ukrainians have more than a million reservists and earlier in the war had far more volunteers than capacity to train them for at least the first six months of the war. Even as recently as December, Zaluzhny said that the UAF does not have manpower issues so much as a need for armor and munitions. So where are the volunteers, why are the units around Bakhmut being reinforced with untrained conscripts, and why all the news stories about aggressive conscription? My hypothesis is that the volunteers are funneled into the more NATO-style units, most of which are currently in reserve or training behind the lines, while the Soviet-influenced commanders are given conscripts (at least as a preference if not as a hard rule) and are burning through them faster than other units, mostly in the Donbas meat grinders around Avdiivka and Bakhmut. The prioritization of allocating volunteers to the more NATO-oriented units makes a lot of sense in that context. Mission command requires motivation and self-direction, which you are more likely to find in volunteers. Conscripts can perform at wildly varying levels, and generally can't be relied on as much to take initiative, and so are a better fit for the top-down Soviet command style. This preference or bias could also come about naturally because of self-sorting, as more Soviet-style commanders may be more willing to take on reluctant conscripts than more NATO-oriented leaders, and older officers steeped in Soviet doctrine will have more relevant experience for leading formations with older Soviet kit.
If that's how recruits are being allocated, it explains some of the resistance to conscription, because conscripts are disproportionately funneled straight into the meat grinder by default. For example, the story that has made the rounds of a soldier who received only five days of training before being deployed to Bakhmut. That soldier's experience doesn't mean the regular army volunteer units are having difficulty filling out their TOE or training their soldiers, just that some of the units most reliant on conscripts are. Notably his formation was the 101st Brigade for the Protection of the General Staff, which may be just about the most irregular unit in the entire UAF command structure, outside whatever chaos-demon worship seems to be happening over in the Ministry of Interior. The 101st is actually directly part of the General Staff, rather than assigned to an operational command, unlike every single other combat unit in the regular army.
So I don't know that his experience can be considered particularly representative, although it very well might be for conscripts with the bad luck of ending up in a Soviet-style unit that also happens to be committed to intense combat operations. But that's not all the units by a long shot. It's likely that for every soldier like that around Bakhmut, there are multiple comparable conscripts assigned to relatively quiet or less intense AOs where they are given the opportunity to learn some basic military skills on the job from the more senior members of their unit. So this would actually be a good way to increase their training pipeline, if somehow they could both predict where attacks would come with 100% certainty to avoid allocating untrained conscripts there and yet still somehow need to maintain high force density throughout the front, which seem like mutually contradictory propositions. It's a morally questionable but potentially effective technique for growing the training pipeline if they allocate excess untrained conscripts evenly across the front without regard to the risk that they will be thrown into combat unprepared, which this story seems to suggest may be their practice. It would also be an excellent way to make use of excess conscripts who were recruited primarily to mislead Russia about the level of manpower issues the UAF are experiencing, too.
This strategy of allocating resources across units suggests losses around Bakhmut won't compromise any offensive, because the offensive units are drawing on entirely different recruitment streams, training resources, and equipment types than the defensive units are. The conscript-heavy formations on the frontline at this very moment are serving to absorb Russian attacks and burn through Russian reserves while the more professional units prepare for an offensive that has the potential to be decisive. If it seems unfair to give worse equipment to the people doing the harder fighting right now, just remember economy of force. Bakhmut is secondary to the offensive. In the longer term, the recruitment challenges won't matter as much once the current Russian reserves are exhausted because the meat grinder will be over, and the UAF will no longer need to feed it. By the time Russia can generate any further forces for their own offensives, the Ukrainians will be over the hump in terms of adopting western tanks, IFVs, and combined arms doctrine and will have slack to retrain the units currently holding the lines to meet the same standards.
But what about the spring offensive?
The only contrary evidence to that assessment are reports, usually sourced from anonymous US or NATO defense officials, that western officials are telling the UAF that defending Bakhmut may compromise their ability to conduct a spring counteroffensive. Which really makes no sense at all to me, based on what formations and equipment types are allocated to Bakhmut. The reports are anonymous and lack any supporting detail beyond the basic claim. As I described above, the units around Bakhmut aren't the kinds of units the Ukrainians are likely to use on an offensive in the near future. I therefore tend to dismiss those anonymous reports as leaks intended to spread disinformation, and in particular to invite the Russians to feel confident in committing their reserves to an attack on Bakhmut.
The Russians (and more to the point Putin) may conclude that it's worth burning through their reserves if doing so compromises the Ukrainian ability to counterattack, and these leaks seem suspiciously well designed to invite that conclusion. If the leaked reports about compromising the offensive were true, they probably would not have been leaked at all, because they reveal an actual Ukrainian weakness in a manner which does nothing to protect that weakness. Contrast that scenario to leaks about the dire need for more long range artillery from about a year ago. Russia could absolutely figure out that the Ukrainians needed better long range fires on its own, so the leaks didn't risk revealing new information, yet did actively invite a solution in the form of western donations. Whereas the leak about Bakhmut (if true) just airs Ukrainian dirty laundry, with no real hope of changing the Ukrainian decision or bringing in additional western support. Meaning, it would be a disloyal leak, of which we have not seen many if any from the US/NATO side during this war (potentially not including the general jockeying between the allies for position around major weapons contributions like tanks). Basically the leak was like saying, "Oh no, Putin, whatever you do please don't attack Bakhmut, anywhere but there!" Something tells me the Ukrainians aren't inclined to give Putin good advice about how to hurt them.
Playing the conscription issues up in the media only serves to draw Russian attention to that weakness, too. So why are the Ukrainians permitting these stories to leak, or at least not taking any measures to limit their impact on the information space? One such story was about a man with no hands being denied an exemption from conscription, despite having been classified officially as permanently disabled for his entire life. It is an insane and ridiculous story of bureaucratic incompetence, which if true I would have expected the Ukrainians to suppress during war time because it makes them look so incompetent (again, note how the whiff of corruption and incompetence appeals to Putin's preconceived notions about Ukrainians) and because it was limited enough in scope that it could have been kept away from western reporters (unlike something as pervasive as widespread resistance to conscription). Instead the story was almost actively promoted by UAF-friendly sources like the Economist, which I believe broke the story originally. The Economist is quite explicitly pro-Ukrainian and is also cozy enough with the Ukrainian leadership to have gotten exclusive in-depth interviews with Zelensky, Zaluzhny, Budanov, Syrsky, and others, some of which I even linked as sources above. So it is out of character for them to publish such a lurid anecdote of Ukrainian incompetence.
On the other hand, if the Ukrainians wanted to convince the Russians that they are having manpower issues, one of the easiest ways to do so would be to send out their recruiters and encourage them to employ excessive aggression. Then to leak, plant, falsify, or simply permit publication of stories about the absurd lengths those officials are going to conscript new troops. The Russians would then pick up on the stories and possibly inaccurately infer manpower deficits. Even if the Russian intelligence agencies interpret the stories differently, Putin is more likely to disregard them and rely on media reports than he would have been in past years, before the FSB's incredibly inaccurate pre-war assessments of Ukraine contributed to his decision to invade. It would not surprise me at all to learn that Putin regularly reviews Russia-related press clippings from the Economist to understand how critical issues are being presented in the western media, even if only as part of a larger security or political briefing packet. In fact it would surprise me if he doesn't review at least a sampling of stories from western media, likely heavily biased toward traditional print media with wide influence like the Economist. Which makes it a viable channel for shaping Putin's perceptions, and the man without hands seems like the perfect attention grabbing detail to make sure he sees that particular story.
So basically, propaganda cuts both ways. We are operating in an information space that is quite intentionally shaped by Ukraine, and so should be careful in our conclusions about what is happening beneath the fog of war. Although, I would suggest that it's probably a good starting assumption that the Ukrainian leaders have not become suddenly much less intelligent or less capable than they have been over the last year of this war. Which isn't to say they are perfect, or that we won't see them lose their edge over time. Just that a sudden, rapid, simultaneous decline in Zaluzhny's, Zelensky's, Syrsky's, Budanov's, and the rest of the Ukrainian leadership's intelligence, judgment, and ability would be extremely unlikely. Especially if that decline persisted for a long time, as the decision to hold Bakhmut has, with ample opportunity for correction based on the widespread alarm about UAF losses.

after Covid I was bed ridden and had symptoms 24/7.
I’m month 14 now with my LC and I feel 80% better, energy wise, brain fog is 80% gone (unless I have days where I crash), anxiety is also 80% gone (happens once a month).
I can tolerate most food, even high histamine 80% of the time.
As you can see I’m stuck on 80%. I don’t complain, cause comparing to being bed ridden I am happy I’m 80% recovered.
BUT I am tired of the last 20% of the symptoms.
What I experience is:

• some days (gnawing pain, burning pain on the left side of my upper abdominal, just below left rib cage, it feels like a stitch / a sore wound, maybe a stomach ulcer??) when doctor pressed mildly it felt uncomfortable 😢
  
• nausea / early satiety / slow digestion / need to take a break sometimes when eating until there’s more room.
  
• stomach acid / burning gut if I eat tomato, onion, lemon, etc. If I don’t eat food like these I am fine.
  
• brown stool 80% of the time, but if I have eaten lemon, tomato or something that cause my gut to burn my stool turns to golden 🏆 (sometimes it’s dark green, when I have a flare up)
  
• constipation (3-4 days is the maximum length I go where I don’t poop)
  

I can poop every day, every morning after breakfast but then twice or three times a month 4 days goes before I can pass a BM.

• so I made prune smoothie, and it did make me go, this time (soft stool mostly)… BUT I experience burning intestine every time I drink or eat something that causes my stool to soften and go.

1. I can’t heal my gut because I can’t go without food for maximum 3 hours before a burning / gnawing pain starts.
   
2. I can’t hasten the motility of my intestine because whenever I drink prune smoothie or prune juice and kick start soft stool / diarrhea my intestine burns and I rather want constipation the then 🥵
   

The left side of my colon, (descending colon) is where I experience the burning and belly button.
How on earth am I supposed to heal when I’m unfortunately stuck in a bad circle like this?
Health info;
Ct scan with contrast clear, ultrasound clear, blood test clear, no diabetes, my metabolism is ok, no vitamin deficiency, urine test clear, stool test for h pylori, bacteria and parasite clear.

1. See a physical therapist. (Not a chiropractor!)

It's possible that your bad posture, weak neck/back muscles are causing your headaches.

1. Massage: The physical therapist will help you loosen the tight muscles through stretching and massage.
2. Strengthening exercises: He will also have you do strengthening exercises for your posture, back and neck.
3. Dry needling: some PT’s are licensed to stimulate your muscles which can loosen them.
4. Biofeedback: Your PT should be able to do biofeedback with you. This is a device that hooks up to your body and alerts you when you are subconsciously tensing up. This will help you learn to stop tensing all your muscles which may be causing your headaches.

Even if your muscles aren’t causing your headaches, seeing a physical therapist can make you feel safe or have a placebo effect and turn off the fear response I mention later in the TMS section.
It's also possible that you might have TMJ/TMD (mentioned later) and the PT will also give you exercises, massages and stretches for that.

1. Acupuncture. I was extremely skeptical of acupuncture and believed it to be a placebo but surprisingly it worked. It was even better then physical therapy. Either it’s not a placebo or placebos still work when you know it’s a placebo? I was later told acupuncture was shown to be a placebo because they measured how it work’s incorrectly. I believe they found that it’s not just working the muscle but actually rewiring the brain somehow. I guess I believe in it now and it does seem unlikely a placebo could last 1000’s of years.
   
2. Rule out all medical causes.
   
3. MRI: Get an MRI done to rule out any brain tumors or other problems of the brain.
   
4. Get checked for TMJ/TMD. This is a jaw issue that's caused by defective Temporomandibular joints. I was personally diagnosed with this through X rays and other imaging. I did not have many symptoms of this, but I got checked anyway and sure enough I had it. Most people have physical problems that don’t cause pain and does not mean you found the cause. (My TMJ was not causing my headaches) You will be prescribed physical therapy for your jaw along with wearing a special mouth guard orthotic that will take pressure off your jaw and realign it while giving it a chance to heal. You will wear it a certain number of hours of the day, depending on how bad a case of TMJ you have.
   
5. See an ENT specialist for reoccurring sinus infections if you have those symptoms. Which can cause headaches. Apparently earwax buildup from using a-tips can also cause headaches.
   
6. Allergies: get yourself allergy checked as certain allergies, such as being gluten intolerant can cause 24/7 headaches, or just headaches after you eat or exposed to the irritant.
   
7. Sleep apnea: Sleep apnea has been known to cause 24/7 headaches. A sleep study could be beneficial to rule this out. Surprisingly a lot of people don’t even know they have it.
   
8. Get blood work done: A vitamin deficiency or other irregularity in your body could be a factor.
   
9. Get your eyes checked: eye strain or other eye dysfunctions could potentially be causing your headaches and is something you could easily rule out.
   
10. Check for a CSF leak: You could have a CSF leak or high intracranial hypertension. You can find out by getting a spinal tap. If you do in fact have one of these things, then that will drastically change how you're treated for headaches. As far as any medical diagnosis that could be causing your headaches, I think this would be the most likely. And is worth at least getting checked out.
    
11. Do Pain reprocessing therapy, look into Tension myositis syndrome (tms), and download the curable app. (IGNORE AT YOUR OWN RISK)
    

TMS is a Mindbody syndrome that keeps your brain in the fight or flight response and traps your brain in a chronic pain cycle.
This is most likely what is causing your chronic headaches and should not be overlooked.
You have to realize that there is most likely nothing structurally/medically wrong with you and its most likely your brain (overactive amygdala) causing this. The godfathers of TMS therapy, such as Dr. Howard Schubiner, Dr. Alan Gordan have estimated through studies that physical causes are not causing chronic pain in 80% of the time.
The good news is that you can rewire your brain and turn off the fear response. This can be done through somatic tracking, brain rewiring exercises, journaling and meditation.
In the following experiment 66% of the participants were “cured or almost cured” in ONLY 4 WEEKS (others improved but not significantly) so just imagine what a year of this therapy could do!
https://www.colorado.edu/today/2021/09/29/how-therapy-not-pills-can-nix-chronic-pain-and-change-brain
This study took participants with at least 4/10 pain and have been suffering for at least a year.
They also theorize that even if you find a physical deformity (bulging or herniated discs in this case) that it’s still most likely not what’s causing your pain. I cant remember the exact numbers but it was something like 90% of Americans have some kind of back issue yet only 20% experience chronic pain.
It’s widely shown that physical treatments don’t work for most to all chronic pain. Hence the opioid crisis. Thinking it’s just a bunch of addicts trying to get high is a gross misinterpretation of the issue. (Although that is also a significant but much smaller then commonly thought part of the issue)
Only a small portion of doctors are aware of pain reprocessing therapy and TMS but all of them know that there is a psychological aspect of chronic pain. Don’t miss out on your chance to be cured because you think this is too far fetched. Chronic pain sufferers should be extremely opened minded.
I've seen firsthand that these exercises work. I can do somatic tracking and literally make my headache go away all with the power of my mind.
This is the link to the app https://www.curablehealth.com/?gclid=CjwKCAiAprGRBhBgEiwANJEY7BbhXki4bGuYy9QIGVG20uW22-mnf-FtAmLzsGc1bNycNDurslWbXhoCYiMQAvD_BwE. The app is a bit costly now (due to popularity because of its legitimacy) but knowing what I know now I would have paid 5k for it.
You can also supplement the app with a TMS therapist that can help you determine if you do have TMS, give you advice and guide you through it. You can find a list of all the TMS therapists on the TMS Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TMS
If you're not convinced listen to the “tell me about your pain” podcast or read the books “ unlearn your pain” by Dr. Howard Schubiner, “the way out” by Alan Gordan or any of John Sarno’s books. Look up everything related to them.

Disclaimer: these are some of the steps I took to cure my Chronic headache disorder and are only my personal opinion of what someone should do if they develop a headache disorder.
Summary: See a headache specialist, a good physical therapist, rule out all medical causes and most importantly do pain reprocessing therapy through the curable app and Dr. Howard Schubiner’s book “unlearn your pain.”

1. Enroll in PPO insurance. The reason I was able to cure myself so quickly was because I had PPO insurance and was able to see a bunch of specialists right away. I lived in Iowa at the time but was able to access one of the best headache clinics in the world in Chicago (details later) because could see out of state providers with PPO. If you have to wait on your PCP to approve every test and specialist you want to see the duration of your suffering will be prolonged and you may never know what’s causing your headaches.
   If I had an HMO insurance I would have been stuck with an incompetent neurologist and I can almost guarantee my hypothetical PCP wouldn’t have approved a majority of the tests I had done and I would have been stuck believing something was physically wrong with me.
   

Extreme steps you can take to get PPO insurance (only do if they are chronic to the point where your quality of life is ruined, your now disabled or suicidal) 1. Pay lots of money for private insurance outside of your employer. 2. Get married or adopt a kid. This is a way to game the system so there’s a qualifying event that lets you enroll. (Not illegal) This will allow you to get long term disability, PPO insurance, and whatever else your company offers of value.
If you’re not as lucky as me and there is something physically wrong with you e.g a csf leak or brain tumor and your PCP doesn’t think a spinal tap (very invasive) or MRI is necessary then you’re just screwed. I hear so many stories of people who say their PCP won’t order them a test or let them see a specialist.
Extreme steps you can take to get an MRI when your PCP won’t order it (only do if they are chronic to the point where your quality of life is ruined, your now disabled or suicidal) 1. Look up the symptoms of a brain tumor. 2. Go to the emergency room after 12am. 3. Fake having a brain tumor stating you have x symptoms. 4. If they can’t recognize the symptoms, aggressively advocate for one. An overworked PA at 3am dealing with a stern patient is gonna fold like a cheap tent. 5. Mentally justify your actions. Your suffering for whatever life sins you committed 5x over, you’ll still have karmic CREDIT not debt after this.. (also you might actually have a brain tumor)

1. See a headache specialist. Before I knew better, I went to a neurologist. She offered me bad advice, a bad plan and was not able to answer 1/10th of my questions.

My headache specialist, Dr Christopher Ryne from the diamond headache clinic in Chicago https://www.diamondheadache.com/ (They do virtual appointments) is a genius compared to my last neuro. Literally the first medication (Lyrica 100mg 3x a day) he put me on (plus pain reprocessing therapy) was able to cure me. He’s an expert and was also able to answer every single question I had.
It's very important that you get over your fear of medication and start the process as soon as possible, so that you can reduce the duration of your suffering.
Disclaimer: Lyrica (pregabilin) is the most effective drug for headaches because it’s the strongest and therefore it can come with a cost. It is serious medication which can be addictive and comes with withdrawal symptoms if you stop taking it rapidly. To come off this drug requires a long regulated taper. The benefits far outweigh the costs but if your not comfortable going that route a good second option would be gabapentin. It’s about 6x less strong per mg so you will have to go on a much higher dose and you still may not get the same results. Talk to your headache specialist about the cost benefit comparison.
If you aren't as lucky as me and medications don’t help, there are still many things you can do.

1. Botox, it will freeze your muscles from tightening which could be causing your headaches. To know if this will work they will give you muscle relaxers first to test if your muscles are the culprit. For insurance to cover botox you will need to try two medications without success first.
   
2. CGRP shot (for migraines only) This is a recent option that is absolutely killing it. This is cured more migraine sufferers faster then anything before it by a factor of 10. Like botox you will also need to fail 2 prior meds for insurance to cover it. It’s anecdotally helped people with normal headaches too but is more of a throw shit at the wall and see what sticks method. If my meds wouldn’t have worked i would have went the botox option first.
   
3. Try at home treatments while you're waiting to see the headache specialist.
   
4. NSAID’s: Tylenol, ibuprofen etc.. Do not take more than 2x/week or you will get rebound headaches, stomach ulcers, etc..
   
5. Supplements: Butterbur, Magnesium, 5HTP, fish oil, vitamin D. The Butterbur and magnesium are known to help with headaches, the fish oil and vitamin D you should just be taking anyway and the five HTP and other mood supplements can reduce your anxiety. (Which cause headaches).
   
6. Sleep on your back. Stomach sleepers have more headaches on average.
   
7. Do neck stretches. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWNf6Khc9go
   
8. Buy a cervical neck pillow. https://backpainsleep.com/the-best-pillow-for-occipital-neuralgia/
   
9. Do TMJ stretches and strengthening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM18snVgV_c
   
10. Try different diets: Low histamine, fasting, carnivore. (If they are migraines)
    
11. Use massage tools: Massage gun, jade roller for jaw, massage tool for neck https://www.google.com/search?q=massage+tools&sxsrf=APq-WBtiXwCxHH5FhiJkqKkZ6yVwkE3WLQ:1647204045508&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiv7ISg-cP2AhUWV80KHT5kCe4Q_AUoAnoECAEQBA&biw=1440&bih=821&dpr=2#imgrc=qFQoI2CAPznezM
    
12. Use ice and heat packs, tiger balm, and other numbing agents.
    
13. Meditate
    
14. Get massages: These will not cure your headaches but could provide you with short term relief and pain management to get you through this long, grueling process.
    
15. Get a Night guard: grinding your teeth at night could potentially be giving you headaches. The TMJ orthotic will also help with this, and it would be better to just get checked for TMJ.
    
16. Get a special pillow that's advertised as being able to treat headaches.
    

Hi everyone,
New to fodmap and am currently in the elimination phase. Finding it really frustrating and getting mixed results of feeling really good but also getting some bad symptoms without any reintroduction foods.
Wondering how long symptoms can take to come on. I had avocado about 36 hours ago and then woke up this morning feeling really nauseous and bloated. Could this be due to avocado or more likely something else?
I had dark chocolate last night but sometimes this has caused me issues.

Haven’t posted on here in a while. Been going through alot of personal issues and have not been using ketamine nearly as much as I should have been, partly due to me just being an emotional depressed mess, and partly due to bladder issues from ketamine.
Today I almost had a psychotic break. Not sure how many of you have experienced one of those before, but they are terrifying. At the end of my work day, one of my good friend and co workers was still there and I asked if he could hang around and talk to me. I was at the point of a psychotic break, and if he didn’t stick around, I really don’t know what I would have done. I’m living in a new city where I don’t know many people and I feel very alone at times. And when I feel very alone and crazy, my mind can take me to some serious dark places
We went out to dinner after work and went back to my place afterwards and I figured I’d do my ketamine, so as I started doing it, he decided to stick around and just talk to me. He also suffers from severe depression and is familiar with ketamine and how it helps with depression symptoms.
Typically my ketamine sessions are alone in bed with a mask on and earphones. This time, I was totally coherent having the deepest conversation I’ve ever had with another human being. I haven’t connected with someone like that in years ( and he was totally sober through the whole thing) . We both talked about depression, suicide, all the bad shit, BUT then we talked about the ways out. What we need to continue to do to get better. The positive things life has to offer as well. Etc etc. we talked about so much.
I have a horrible habit of saying I’m gonna do all these positive things but never do them. This time, I need to make that change and actually put 100% effort in to change. Like they say, if nothing changes nothing changes. After he left, I just balled my eyes out and cried for hours and it was beautiful. Haven’t cried like that since I was a kid.
I don’t know if this was the ketamine, the conversation, or just simply another human being willing to give up some of his time to help someone he knew was struggling, but I am forever grateful for all 3. ❤️❤️❤️

1. See a physical therapist. (Not a chiropractor!)

It's possible that your bad posture, weak neck/back muscles are causing your headaches.

1. Massage: The physical therapist will help you loosen the tight muscles through stretching and massage.
2. Strengthening exercises: He will also have you do strengthening exercises for your posture, back and neck.
3. Dry needling: some PT’s are licensed to stimulate your muscles which can loosen them.
4. Biofeedback: Your PT should be able to do biofeedback with you. This is a device that hooks up to your body and alerts you when you are subconsciously tensing up. This will help you learn to stop tensing all your muscles which may be causing your headaches.

Even if your muscles aren’t causing your headaches, seeing a physical therapist can make you feel safe or have a placebo effect and turn off the fear response I mention later in the TMS section.
It's also possible that you might have TMJ/TMD (mentioned later) and the PT will also give you exercises, massages and stretches for that.

1. Acupuncture. I was extremely skeptical of acupuncture and believed it to be a placebo but surprisingly it worked. It was even better then physical therapy. Either it’s not a placebo or placebos still work when you know it’s a placebo? I was later told acupuncture was shown to be a placebo because they measured how it work’s incorrectly. I believe they found that it’s not just working the muscle but actually rewiring the brain somehow. I guess I believe in it now and it does seem unlikely a placebo could last 1000’s of years.
   
2. Rule out all medical causes.
   
3. MRI: Get an MRI done to rule out any brain tumors or other problems of the brain.
   
4. Get checked for TMJ/TMD. This is a jaw issue that's caused by defective Temporomandibular joints. I was personally diagnosed with this through X rays and other imaging. I did not have many symptoms of this, but I got checked anyway and sure enough I had it. Most people have physical problems that don’t cause pain and does not mean you found the cause. (My TMJ was not causing my headaches) You will be prescribed physical therapy for your jaw along with wearing a special mouth guard orthotic that will take pressure off your jaw and realign it while giving it a chance to heal. You will wear it a certain number of hours of the day, depending on how bad a case of TMJ you have.
   
5. See an ENT specialist for reoccurring sinus infections if you have those symptoms. Which can cause headaches. Apparently earwax buildup from using a-tips can also cause headaches.
   
6. Allergies: get yourself allergy checked as certain allergies, such as being gluten intolerant can cause 24/7 headaches, or just headaches after you eat or exposed to the irritant.
   
7. Sleep apnea: Sleep apnea has been known to cause 24/7 headaches. A sleep study could be beneficial to rule this out. Surprisingly a lot of people don’t even know they have it.
   
8. Get blood work done: A vitamin deficiency or other irregularity in your body could be a factor.
   
9. Get your eyes checked: eye strain or other eye dysfunctions could potentially be causing your headaches and is something you could easily rule out.
   
10. Check for a CSF leak: You could have a CSF leak or high intracranial hypertension. You can find out by getting a spinal tap. If you do in fact have one of these things, then that will drastically change how you're treated for headaches. As far as any medical diagnosis that could be causing your headaches, I think this would be the most likely. And is worth at least getting checked out.
    
11. Do Pain reprocessing therapy, look into Tension myositis syndrome (tms), and download the curable app. (IGNORE AT YOUR OWN RISK)
    

TMS is a Mindbody syndrome that keeps your brain in the fight or flight response and traps your brain in a chronic pain cycle.
This is most likely what is causing your chronic headaches and should not be overlooked.
You have to realize that there is most likely nothing structurally/medically wrong with you and its most likely your brain (overactive amygdala) causing this. The godfathers of TMS therapy, such as Dr. Howard Schubiner, Dr. Alan Gordan have estimated through studies that physical causes are not causing chronic pain in 80% of the time.
The good news is that you can rewire your brain and turn off the fear response. This can be done through somatic tracking, brain rewiring exercises, journaling and meditation.
In the following experiment 66% of the participants were “cured or almost cured” in ONLY 4 WEEKS (others improved but not significantly) so just imagine what a year of this therapy could do!
https://www.colorado.edu/today/2021/09/29/how-therapy-not-pills-can-nix-chronic-pain-and-change-brain
This study took participants with at least 4/10 pain and have been suffering for at least a year.
They also theorize that even if you find a physical deformity (bulging or herniated discs in this case) that it’s still most likely not what’s causing your pain. I cant remember the exact numbers but it was something like 90% of Americans have some kind of back issue yet only 20% experience chronic pain.
It’s widely shown that physical treatments don’t work for most to all chronic pain. Hence the opioid crisis. Thinking it’s just a bunch of addicts trying to get high is a gross misinterpretation of the issue. (Although that is also a significant but much smaller then commonly thought part of the issue)
Only a small portion of doctors are aware of pain reprocessing therapy and TMS but all of them know that there is a psychological aspect of chronic pain. Don’t miss out on your chance to be cured because you think this is too far fetched. Chronic pain sufferers should be extremely opened minded.
I've seen firsthand that these exercises work. I can do somatic tracking and literally make my headache go away all with the power of my mind.
This is the link to the app https://www.curablehealth.com/?gclid=CjwKCAiAprGRBhBgEiwANJEY7BbhXki4bGuYy9QIGVG20uW22-mnf-FtAmLzsGc1bNycNDurslWbXhoCYiMQAvD_BwE. The app is a bit costly now (due to popularity because of its legitimacy) but knowing what I know now I would have paid 5k for it.
You can also supplement the app with a TMS therapist that can help you determine if you do have TMS, give you advice and guide you through it. You can find a list of all the TMS therapists on the TMS Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TMS
If you're not convinced listen to the “tell me about your pain” podcast or read the books “ unlearn your pain” by Dr. Howard Schubiner, “the way out” by Alan Gordan or any of John Sarno’s books. Look up everything related to them.

Disclaimer: these are some of the steps I took to cure my Chronic headache disorder and are only my personal opinion of what someone should do if they develop a headache disorder.
Summary: See a headache specialist, a good physical therapist, rule out all medical causes and most importantly do pain reprocessing therapy through the curable app and Dr. Howard Schubiner’s book “unlearn your pain.”

1. Enroll in PPO insurance. The reason I was able to cure myself so quickly was because I had PPO insurance and was able to see a bunch of specialists right away. I lived in Iowa at the time but was able to access one of the best headache clinics in the world in Chicago (details later) because could see out of state providers with PPO. If you have to wait on your PCP to approve every test and specialist you want to see the duration of your suffering will be prolonged and you may never know what’s causing your headaches.
   If I had an HMO insurance I would have been stuck with an incompetent neurologist and I can almost guarantee my hypothetical PCP wouldn’t have approved a majority of the tests I had done and I would have been stuck believing something was physically wrong with me.
   

Extreme steps you can take to get PPO insurance (only do if they are chronic to the point where your quality of life is ruined, your now disabled or suicidal) 1. Pay lots of money for private insurance outside of your employer. 2. Get married or adopt a kid. This is a way to game the system so there’s a qualifying event that lets you enroll. (Not illegal) This will allow you to get long term disability, PPO insurance, and whatever else your company offers of value.
If you’re not as lucky as me and there is something physically wrong with you e.g a csf leak or brain tumor and your PCP doesn’t think a spinal tap (very invasive) or MRI is necessary then you’re just screwed. I hear so many stories of people who say their PCP won’t order them a test or let them see a specialist.
Extreme steps you can take to get an MRI when your PCP won’t order it (only do if they are chronic to the point where your quality of life is ruined, your now disabled or suicidal) 1. Look up the symptoms of a brain tumor. 2. Go to the emergency room after 12am. 3. Fake having a brain tumor stating you have x symptoms. 4. If they can’t recognize the symptoms, aggressively advocate for one. An overworked PA at 3am dealing with a stern patient is gonna fold like a cheap tent. 5. Mentally justify your actions. Your suffering for whatever life sins you committed 5x over, you’ll still have karmic CREDIT not debt after this.. (also you might actually have a brain tumor)

1. See a headache specialist. Before I knew better, I went to a neurologist. She offered me bad advice, a bad plan and was not able to answer 1/10th of my questions.

My headache specialist, Dr Christopher Ryne from the diamond headache clinic in Chicago https://www.diamondheadache.com/ (They do virtual appointments) is a genius compared to my last neuro. Literally the first medication (Lyrica 100mg 3x a day) he put me on (plus pain reprocessing therapy) was able to cure me. He’s an expert and was also able to answer every single question I had.
It's very important that you get over your fear of medication and start the process as soon as possible, so that you can reduce the duration of your suffering.
Disclaimer: Lyrica (pregabilin) is the most effective drug for headaches because it’s the strongest and therefore it can come with a cost. It is serious medication which can be addictive and comes with withdrawal symptoms if you stop taking it rapidly. To come off this drug requires a long regulated taper. The benefits far outweigh the costs but if your not comfortable going that route a good second option would be gabapentin. It’s about 6x less strong per mg so you will have to go on a much higher dose and you still may not get the same results. Talk to your headache specialist about the cost benefit comparison.
If you aren't as lucky as me and medications don’t help, there are still many things you can do.

1. Botox, it will freeze your muscles from tightening which could be causing your headaches. To know if this will work they will give you muscle relaxers first to test if your muscles are the culprit. For insurance to cover botox you will need to try two medications without success first.
   
2. CGRP shot (for migraines only) This is a recent option that is absolutely killing it. This is cured more migraine sufferers faster then anything before it by a factor of 10. Like botox you will also need to fail 2 prior meds for insurance to cover it. It’s anecdotally helped people with normal headaches too but is more of a throw shit at the wall and see what sticks method. If my meds wouldn’t have worked i would have went the botox option first.
   
3. Try at home treatments while you're waiting to see the headache specialist.
   
4. NSAID’s: Tylenol, ibuprofen etc.. Do not take more than 2x/week or you will get rebound headaches, stomach ulcers, etc..
   
5. Supplements: Butterbur, Magnesium, 5HTP, fish oil, vitamin D. The Butterbur and magnesium are known to help with headaches, the fish oil and vitamin D you should just be taking anyway and the five HTP and other mood supplements can reduce your anxiety. (Which cause headaches).
   
6. Sleep on your back. Stomach sleepers have more headaches on average.
   
7. Do neck stretches. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWNf6Khc9go
   
8. Buy a cervical neck pillow. https://backpainsleep.com/the-best-pillow-for-occipital-neuralgia/
   
9. Do TMJ stretches and strengthening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM18snVgV_c
   
10. Try different diets: Low histamine, fasting, carnivore. (If they are migraines)
    
11. Use massage tools: Massage gun, jade roller for jaw, massage tool for neck https://www.google.com/search?q=massage+tools&sxsrf=APq-WBtiXwCxHH5FhiJkqKkZ6yVwkE3WLQ:1647204045508&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiv7ISg-cP2AhUWV80KHT5kCe4Q_AUoAnoECAEQBA&biw=1440&bih=821&dpr=2#imgrc=qFQoI2CAPznezM
    
12. Use ice and heat packs, tiger balm, and other numbing agents.
    
13. Meditate
    
14. Get massages: These will not cure your headaches but could provide you with short term relief and pain management to get you through this long, grueling process.
    
15. Get a Night guard: grinding your teeth at night could potentially be giving you headaches. The TMJ orthotic will also help with this, and it would be better to just get checked for TMJ.
    
16. Get a special pillow that's advertised as being able to treat headaches.
    

1. See a physical therapist. (Not a chiropractor!)

It's possible that your bad posture, weak neck/back muscles are causing your headaches.

1. Massage: The physical therapist will help you loosen the tight muscles through stretching and massage.
2. Strengthening exercises: He will also have you do strengthening exercises for your posture, back and neck.
3. Dry needling: some PT’s are licensed to stimulate your muscles which can loosen them.
4. Biofeedback: Your PT should be able to do biofeedback with you. This is a device that hooks up to your body and alerts you when you are subconsciously tensing up. This will help you learn to stop tensing all your muscles which may be causing your headaches.

Even if your muscles aren’t causing your headaches, seeing a physical therapist can make you feel safe or have a placebo effect and turn off the fear response I mention later in the TMS section.
It's also possible that you might have TMJ/TMD (mentioned later) and the PT will also give you exercises, massages and stretches for that.

1. Acupuncture. I was extremely skeptical of acupuncture and believed it to be a placebo but surprisingly it worked. It was even better then physical therapy. Either it’s not a placebo or placebos still work when you know it’s a placebo? I was later told acupuncture was shown to be a placebo because they measured how it work’s incorrectly. I believe they found that it’s not just working the muscle but actually rewiring the brain somehow. I guess I believe in it now and it does seem unlikely a placebo could last 1000’s of years.
   
2. Rule out all medical causes.
   
3. MRI: Get an MRI done to rule out any brain tumors or other problems of the brain.
   
4. Get checked for TMJ/TMD. This is a jaw issue that's caused by defective Temporomandibular joints. I was personally diagnosed with this through X rays and other imaging. I did not have many symptoms of this, but I got checked anyway and sure enough I had it. Most people have physical problems that don’t cause pain and does not mean you found the cause. (My TMJ was not causing my headaches) You will be prescribed physical therapy for your jaw along with wearing a special mouth guard orthotic that will take pressure off your jaw and realign it while giving it a chance to heal. You will wear it a certain number of hours of the day, depending on how bad a case of TMJ you have.
   
5. See an ENT specialist for reoccurring sinus infections if you have those symptoms. Which can cause headaches. Apparently earwax buildup from using a-tips can also cause headaches.
   
6. Allergies: get yourself allergy checked as certain allergies, such as being gluten intolerant can cause 24/7 headaches, or just headaches after you eat or exposed to the irritant.
   
7. Sleep apnea: Sleep apnea has been known to cause 24/7 headaches. A sleep study could be beneficial to rule this out. Surprisingly a lot of people don’t even know they have it.
   
8. Get blood work done: A vitamin deficiency or other irregularity in your body could be a factor.
   
9. Get your eyes checked: eye strain or other eye dysfunctions could potentially be causing your headaches and is something you could easily rule out.
   
10. Check for a CSF leak: You could have a CSF leak or high intracranial hypertension. You can find out by getting a spinal tap. If you do in fact have one of these things, then that will drastically change how you're treated for headaches. As far as any medical diagnosis that could be causing your headaches, I think this would be the most likely. And is worth at least getting checked out.
    
11. Do Pain reprocessing therapy, look into Tension myositis syndrome (tms), and download the curable app. (IGNORE AT YOUR OWN RISK)
    

TMS is a Mindbody syndrome that keeps your brain in the fight or flight response and traps your brain in a chronic pain cycle.
This is most likely what is causing your chronic headaches and should not be overlooked.
You have to realize that there is most likely nothing structurally/medically wrong with you and its most likely your brain (overactive amygdala) causing this. The godfathers of TMS therapy, such as Dr. Howard Schubiner, Dr. Alan Gordan have estimated through studies that physical causes are not causing chronic pain in 80% of the time.
The good news is that you can rewire your brain and turn off the fear response. This can be done through somatic tracking, brain rewiring exercises, journaling and meditation.
In the following experiment 66% of the participants were “cured or almost cured” in ONLY 4 WEEKS (others improved but not significantly) so just imagine what a year of this therapy could do!
https://www.colorado.edu/today/2021/09/29/how-therapy-not-pills-can-nix-chronic-pain-and-change-brain
This study took participants with at least 4/10 pain and have been suffering for at least a year.
They also theorize that even if you find a physical deformity (bulging or herniated discs in this case) that it’s still most likely not what’s causing your pain. I cant remember the exact numbers but it was something like 90% of Americans have some kind of back issue yet only 20% experience chronic pain.
It’s widely shown that physical treatments don’t work for most to all chronic pain. Hence the opioid crisis. Thinking it’s just a bunch of addicts trying to get high is a gross misinterpretation of the issue. (Although that is also a significant but much smaller then commonly thought part of the issue)
Only a small portion of doctors are aware of pain reprocessing therapy and TMS but all of them know that there is a psychological aspect of chronic pain. Don’t miss out on your chance to be cured because you think this is too far fetched. Chronic pain sufferers should be extremely opened minded.
I've seen firsthand that these exercises work. I can do somatic tracking and literally make my headache go away all with the power of my mind.
This is the link to the app https://www.curablehealth.com/?gclid=CjwKCAiAprGRBhBgEiwANJEY7BbhXki4bGuYy9QIGVG20uW22-mnf-FtAmLzsGc1bNycNDurslWbXhoCYiMQAvD_BwE. The app is a bit costly now (due to popularity because of its legitimacy) but knowing what I know now I would have paid 5k for it.
You can also supplement the app with a TMS therapist that can help you determine if you do have TMS, give you advice and guide you through it. You can find a list of all the TMS therapists on the TMS Wikipedia page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TMS
If you're not convinced listen to the “tell me about your pain” podcast or read the books “ unlearn your pain” by Dr. Howard Schubiner, “the way out” by Alan Gordan or any of John Sarno’s books. Look up everything related to them.

The Greatest Headache Recovery Guide Ever Created (updated)
Disclaimer: these are some of the steps I took to cure my Chronic headache disorder and are only my personal opinion of what someone should do if they develop a headache disorder.
Summary: See a headache specialist, a good physical therapist, rule out all medical causes and most importantly do pain reprocessing therapy through the curable app and Dr. Howard Schubiner’s book “unlearn your pain.”

1. Enroll in PPO insurance. The reason I was able to cure myself so quickly was because I had PPO insurance and was able to see a bunch of specialists right away. I lived in Iowa at the time but was able to access one of the best headache clinics in the world in Chicago (details later) because could see out of state providers with PPO. If you have to wait on your PCP to approve every test and specialist you want to see the duration of your suffering will be prolonged and you may never know what’s causing your headaches.
   If I had an HMO insurance I would have been stuck with an incompetent neurologist and I can almost guarantee my hypothetical PCP wouldn’t have approved a majority of the tests I had done and I would have been stuck believing something was physically wrong with me.
   

Extreme steps you can take to get PPO insurance (only do if they are chronic to the point where your quality of life is ruined, your now disabled or suicidal) 1. Pay lots of money for private insurance outside of your employer. 2. Get married or adopt a kid. This is a way to game the system so there’s a qualifying event that lets you enroll. (Not illegal) This will allow you to get long term disability, PPO insurance, and whatever else your company offers of value.
If you’re not as lucky as me and there is something physically wrong with you e.g a csf leak or brain tumor and your PCP doesn’t think a spinal tap (very invasive) or MRI is necessary then you’re just screwed. I hear so many stories of people who say their PCP won’t order them a test or let them see a specialist.
Extreme steps you can take to get an MRI when your PCP won’t order it (only do if they are chronic to the point where your quality of life is ruined, your now disabled or suicidal) 1. Look up the symptoms of a brain tumor. 2. Go to the emergency room after 12am. 3. Fake having a brain tumor stating you have x symptoms. 4. If they can’t recognize the symptoms, aggressively advocate for one. An overworked PA at 3am dealing with a stern patient is gonna fold like a cheap tent. 5. Mentally justify your actions. Your suffering for whatever life sins you committed 5x over, you’ll still have karmic CREDIT not debt after this.. (also you might actually have a brain tumor)

1. See a headache specialist. Before I knew better, I went to a neurologist. She offered me bad advice, a bad plan and was not able to answer 1/10th of my questions.

My headache specialist, Dr Christopher Ryne from the diamond headache clinic in Chicago https://www.diamondheadache.com/ (They do virtual appointments) is a genius compared to my last neuro. Literally the first medication (Lyrica 100mg 3x a day) he put me on (plus pain reprocessing therapy) was able to cure me. He’s an expert and was also able to answer every single question I had.
It's very important that you get over your fear of medication and start the process as soon as possible, so that you can reduce the duration of your suffering.
Disclaimer: Lyrica (pregabilin) is the most effective drug for headaches because it’s the strongest and therefore it can come with a cost. It is serious medication which can be addictive and comes with withdrawal symptoms if you stop taking it rapidly. To come off this drug requires a long regulated taper. The benefits far outweigh the costs but if your not comfortable going that route a good second option would be gabapentin. It’s about 6x less strong per mg so you will have to go on a much higher dose and you still may not get the same results. Talk to your headache specialist about the cost benefit comparison.
If you aren't as lucky as me and medications don’t help, there are still many things you can do.

1. Botox, it will freeze your muscles from tightening which could be causing your headaches. To know if this will work they will give you muscle relaxers first to test if your muscles are the culprit. For insurance to cover botox you will need to try two medications without success first.
   
2. CGRP shot (for migraines only) This is a recent option that is absolutely killing it. This is cured more migraine sufferers faster then anything before it by a factor of 10. Like botox you will also need to fail 2 prior meds for insurance to cover it. It’s anecdotally helped people with normal headaches too but is more of a throw shit at the wall and see what sticks method. If my meds wouldn’t have worked i would have went the botox option first.
   
3. Try at home treatments while you're waiting to see the headache specialist.
   
4. NSAID’s: Tylenol, ibuprofen etc.. Do not take more than 2x/week or you will get rebound headaches, stomach ulcers, etc..
   
5. Supplements: Butterbur, Magnesium, 5HTP, fish oil, vitamin D. The Butterbur and magnesium are known to help with headaches, the fish oil and vitamin D you should just be taking anyway and the five HTP and other mood supplements can reduce your anxiety. (Which cause headaches).
   
6. Sleep on your back. Stomach sleepers have more headaches on average.
   
7. Do neck stretches. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWNf6Khc9go
   
8. Buy a cervical neck pillow. https://backpainsleep.com/the-best-pillow-for-occipital-neuralgia/
   
9. Do TMJ stretches and strengthening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM18snVgV_c
   
10. Try different diets: Low histamine, fasting, carnivore. (If they are migraines)
    
11. Use massage tools: Massage gun, jade roller for jaw, massage tool for neck https://www.google.com/search?q=massage+tools&sxsrf=APq-WBtiXwCxHH5FhiJkqKkZ6yVwkE3WLQ:1647204045508&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiv7ISg-cP2AhUWV80KHT5kCe4Q_AUoAnoECAEQBA&biw=1440&bih=821&dpr=2#imgrc=qFQoI2CAPznezM
    
12. Use ice and heat packs, tiger balm, and other numbing agents.
    
13. Meditate
    
14. Get massages: These will not cure your headaches but could provide you with short term relief and pain management to get you through this long, grueling process.
    
15. Get a Night guard: grinding your teeth at night could potentially be giving you headaches. The TMJ orthotic will also help with this, and it would be better to just get checked for TMJ.
    
16. Get a special pillow that's advertised as being able to treat headaches.
    

Hello,
So my GP thinks I (22M) most likely have mono. I believe I caught it when I kissed a girl 4 weeks ago. Three weeks ago, I visited family for one night (I came back from uni), I kissed my brother (16M) on the cheek (Mediterranen greeting), used the same toothpaste tube as them and also my brother gave me back my room for the night and I slept in my bad (which he usually sleeps in when I'm away).
Whats the likelihood that I transmitted mono to my brother - is mono very infectious from incubation or from symptom onset? I'm very scared that I transmitted it to him given that he has very important exams coming up soon.

We're serious and planning kids in the future. I freak out over a fuckin cough and this is driving me crazy.
For me, the worst part is that my boyfriend is an absolute flegmatic and works on "don't think about what you can't solve" approach. I almost broke down when he brought the results home and he was just like... "We'll see what to do when it happens, it's not like there's something we can do about it" and then I saw in the report that they offered him an assisted reproduction option when we'll want kids and asked him if he'll want to go down that route and he said "Dunno" and it was obvious that he's not too excited about it". But, like, how can you even THINK about risking 50% chance of it being inherited by our child??? It drives me absolutely bonkers. Why would you even be willing to RISK it when there is way safe option that is not that natural but would ensure that we'll have a thriving, healthy baby? And especially when the other alternative is pretty miserable, both physically and mentally?
We've been together for years and at this point I know him. I know he only seems to not care because he has a hard time explaining and showing his emotions. I also know I am being terribly, terribly unfair towards him for feeling frustrated at him. He just found out something so crucial! He needs time and space to deal with it and he needs my support. Instead I am the one demanding emotional support from him (I am demanding it only here don't worry, I don't plan to freak out on him while he's going through this). I don't understand why I am being so selfish when usually I put others first automatically.
But most anxiety inducing thing about it is, he mentioned some of my health issues to the genetic center and now they want to see me too because they have "a small suspicion" that there might be something from my side too. Total health anxiety moment. Of course, I googled the signs of what he has and, well, I am not surprised they want to see me:

• not hitting milestones and speech/motor delays? Check
  • mental health issues? Check.
• ADHD/autism/bad sensory issues? - check
• skeletal malformation and easily breakable bones? - check
• heart issues? - check - usually aortic insufficiency? Check
• eye and ear issues? - check
• sleep disturbances? Check
• urinary tract abnormalities? Check
• aaaaall of these not appearing only with me but randomly popping up for my siblings too - Check

I was searching it to calm myself down and, of course, the absolute opposite happened.
What's keeping me sane is the knowledge that the disorder is incredibly rare and that neither of my siblings show any obvious signs of it. That in itself should logically be enough to reassure me that I am FINE, but my brain refuses to accept it. I feel like someone took me, stuffed me into a washing machine and turned on a turbo wash. And I want to scream.
AAAAAAAAAA
Whew, thank you for letting me get it all out.

FT3 1.027 (1.40-4.20 pg/mL)
FT4 2.297 (8.50-22.50 pmol/L)
TSH 17.021 (0.40-6.00 uiU/ml)
M22, 38kg, 5'5 (BMI 14.0)
Symptoms are:
Breathing problem
Fast heart rate
Underweight
Irregular bowel movement
(No health problem in family history)
Got diagnosed with hypothyroidism this week. I'm pretty aware that my body is unhealthy. I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, I don't have any bad habits except for my very sedentary lifestyle. I've decided to finally take my health seriously and seek professional help. Not to mention, healthcare in the Philippines is atrocious. Expensive, no easy access, etc. Main concerns were about bowel movement and the recent heart related problems. And this is what I got.
Initially wanted to get my GI tract and kidney checked just for a general check-up. I don't poop regularly since I was a kid and I've had UTI but nothing serious with those. Only risky health issue I have is my low potassium. Wherein my body cramps like crazy. Been hospitalised 3x for that but never diagnosed with any. Just a Dextrose and I'm off. I've learned to live with already. And it usually attack when I'm not feeling well in general. But surprisingly it never occurred once throughout this period.
And then the heart concern came. It started on Feb. 25 when my BP went to 136 over something. Never had any heart/breathing problems in the past. And that was the only time I had that kind of BP. Leading me to address it first. Even before this I'm cold intolerant, I get cold even when its hot. Sometimes will feel like feverish every now and then but will last for only a few minutes. I constantly monitor my heart rate and it's always within the range of 80 not going up to 90 as my resting heart. Low 70-ish on propranolol (though if you look it up on the internet 60-100 bpm is pretty normal). However I was only able to take it for 3 days. As it's hard to find within my area unfortunately. Doctor ruled out on the first consultation that all those symptoms I've been feeling might have something to do with my thyroid. Turns out, it was true and I hope that's the only cause. Doctor went straight to blood chemistry and CBC. As well as X-ray and ECG. All tests are normal except for the thyroid.
Though the doctor is also somewhat a bit perplex cause I'm showing symptoms of hyperthyroidism, we'll follow with what the lab results presented.
I'm starting medication as of today. 50mcg of Levothyroxine once a day before breakfast I also have Propranolol 10mg 3x a day prior this week. But it got changed to Ivabradine 7.5 mg once a day but need to split it in half and take it in morning and night after meal. Will take this for 6 weeks and come back again with another thyroid function test for a follow up.
Will still take many other test and consultations to address all of my health concerns. But I don't want to put too much stress on my body especially right now. I also want to see a Psychiatrist as my mental health is the one that's really making this whole situation hard for me.
Not really looking for answers or whatsoever. Just wanted to share this and maybe someone here to relate to (though I hope nobody should experience this suffering). Just to somehow ease my anxiousness and whatnot. I always say I'm broke both literally and figuratively. Sometimes as a joke, sometimes seriously. Never thought my thyroid would be this broke.
This is my first time posting. Never thought I'd use reddit for something like this. I pray everyone a good health and stay healthy. And for those who are not, I hope you/we get better.