I have really greasy hair. Hair so greasy I can brush it back like a 50s greaser after two days without a wash. This alone wouldn’t be an issue if I didn’t have super dry ends. I’m going back to my natural blonde after having every color of the rainbow, and every natural color. I color stripped my black, then bleached to a light, natural looking ginger. After all the dying and bleaching, my hair is super dry. I can’t find any products that get rid of the grease without drying out the reset of my hair, nor can I find products that moisturize my ends without somehow spreading to my roots as well. I do my best to keep the conditioner on the ends and the shampoo on the scalp, but my hair is shorter from chopping off dead ends, so it’s kind of hard.

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 62%. (I'm a bot)

The Russian region of Belgorod has again come under attack from across the Ukrainian border, with at least eight people reportedly hurt in shelling.
Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said Russian President Vladimir Putin was aware of the situation in Belgorod and criticised the international committee for failing to condemn Ukraine.
There have been a spate of attacks inside Russia in recent weeks.
Earlier this week, Russian President Vladimir Putin accused Ukraine of trying to frighten Russians following drone attacks in the capital, Moscow.
The US is investigating whether any of its military equipment was used in the earlier incursion in Belgorod on 22 May and said it did not support any attack on Russian soil.
An 11-year-old girl is reported to be among the dead. It is the fourth attack on the city this week and comes after 17 strikes were launched on Kyiv throughout May. It comes as the country's president, Volodymyr Zelensky, again called for Ukraine to be allowed to join Nato and the EU. He was visiting Moldova for the European Political Community summit, where he also met European Commission President Ursula von Der Leyen.

Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: attack^#1 Ukraine^#2 Russian^#3 reports^#4 Russia^#5
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If I had to pick an embarrassing moment which will haunt me until I die—it has to be the time I tried out for The Sunbeam cheer squad last year. I was a freshman, and I wanted community. Friends.
I heard the cheer squad were just an extra-curricular group rather than an actual majoring level class, so I figured I’d give them a shot. It’s not like I could ignore them.
On my first day when I was moving into my dorm room, I must have walked into the same girl three times. I am in strict belief that it is not possible for a human being to be permanently happy.
And yet that was her. She wandered around like the sun shone right out of her ass, and it was both endearing and terrifying.
The girl resembled the sun herself, a halo of golden curls held in a scrunchie and a flaunting sundress, matching ribbons wrapped around her. The Sunbeam Squad were easy to spot because they were all wearing insanely bright yellow—waving around gold streamers, ribbons tangled in their hair. They all spoke in insanely high pitched voices like they inhaled helium for a living, but that must have been their shtick, right? It was kind of cute. I wasn’t expecting such a welcome in the shape of guy’s and girl’s looking like they had just stepped off of ABC Kids. The girl who handed me a flyer and yelled in my face about school spirit was practically hopping up and down, a bright grin splitting her lips apart.
I nodded and smiled politely, stuffing the flyer in my bag and heading into my room to finish moving my stuff in. When I looked out of my window a few hours later, the Sunbeam squad was still threaded through the crowd, each of them wrapped in glittering fairy lights illuminated in the late evening sunset glow. Sunbeam. Yeah, I got it, but it was still kinda overkill. They were starting to remind me of a cult.
That, however, didn’t stop me trying out. I’m fairly athletic, and they were exactly what I wanted. I’ve never had a group of people I could call friends.
Though it’s not like I could blame anyone but myself. I was a shut-in for most of high school. I either worked or preferred my own company in my room. One of my biggest regrets is pushing people away, friends I wanted to get even closer to. Because now they had built these lifelong friendships and relationships, and I was stuck at 18 years old with nobody but childhood friends I spoke to once a year when we sent mutual holiday greetings to each other. But college could change that.
At least, that’s what I hoped. I spoke to as many people as possible on my first day—and in my head I was making them. Slowly but surely I was actually making friends in my classes I wanted to hang out with.
Sunbeam were my attempt to go even further and join a club. Through word of mouth in my first few weeks of classes, I learned they were more of an extra-curricular group for fun.
They didn’t cheer competitively and had been formed in the mid-90’s by some kids who wanted to make a community out of positivity and school spirit. Sunbeam had a reputation for being Watson State student body’s beacons—and their team’s good luck charm. It was well known across campus that the squad was the reason behind the college’s fortune.
It had been like that since they formed 30 years ago, with members through the generations carrying out that pledge to spread as much pep as possible. While I say that they seemed nice judging from what I heard from others, they weren’t exactly the easiest clique to get into. Unless you were on the squad.
I saw them around campus between classes. They always moved as a group, the six of them with their arms wrapped around each other, brandishing the school colours. The guy’s in loose fitting varsity jackets, while the girl’s flaunted cheer skirts.
The way they acted was a little too close, like they were more than friends—and community and friendship had bled into something else. Like they had just walked out of an early 2000’s teen movie. Not that I was complaining. Their style was intriguing. They were like this untouchable group of god’s who had been placed on the highest pedestals. They ruled over campus, which made me want to get to know them even more. So, I tried out. Which was my first mistake of many in my freshman year.
It didn’t hit me that I was in way over my head until I was in the college gymnasium, standing in front of a four person panel like I was auditioning for a Hollywood movie. Sunbeam took their try-outs incredibly seriously. Which was weird considering they were known to be the complete opposite.
There were maybe fifty or so applicants, and we had to stand near the back wall and watch others try out one by one. Which was already setting off my anxiety. Weren’t they supposed to be closed try-outs? Initially, I was excited.
I had my routine in my head. What I had learned from watching the squad at my old school. High V, Low V, followed by a Touchdown, and then a backflip. I was confident. I mean, it ticked most cheer moves off, and even had a flip to complete the routine. My high school were a multi-sex quad, so I learned a lot from watching the guy’s moves during pep rallies.
I wasn’t really worried about the quality of the moves since they were known not to take everything too seriously. But watching the others try-out, impossible flips without crash mats and twisting their bodies in ways I didn’t know was possible, I quickly realised I was screwed. My competitors were acting like they were auditioning for an Olympic level team. My gut was dancing when I took centre stage.
The panel were made up of four members of the squad. Two boys and two girl’s, including the blonde who handed me the flyer on my first day. I was surprised when her eyes lit up with recognition.
"Oh, I know you!" She squeaked. Leaning forward, her smile seemed to brighten, illuminating her features. All four of them seemed to emanate a warm glow.
I felt myself relax slightly, the knot in my stomach loosening. Maybe their heightened positivity thing wasn’t a shtick, after all. The girl, as well as the other members of the team seemed genuinely happy to see me trying out. “What’s your name?” Her voice reverberated off of the walls, and I was suddenly aware of a dozen other students watching me.
“Alex.” I said, offering a shy wave. “Hey.”
Still grinning, she nudged a redhead next to her playfully. The guy was like no other I’d seen before. He was a god damn traffic light. He was easy to spot in a crowd and was usually one of the low-key members who kept his head down. All of those colours painting him, and yet somehow he wasn’t blinding people.
Though admittedly, he suited them; bright red hair clashing with the blue and gold of his football jersey, pasty skin and dark eyes drinking me in while the blonde girl pulled at his sleeve. “See, I told you annoying freshmen would work!”
In response, he chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Whatever you say, Evie.” The guy straightened up, leaning his chin on his fist, a curious spark in his eyes. “Alright.” Twisting around in his chair, he signalled for music. When it started, the beat slammed into me, rumbling under my feet. “Let’s see what you’ve got!”
I’m not going to describe my routine because I don’t have time to describe how fucking bad I was. In my head, I was doing okay. I was ready to finish with my back flip, but the music abruptly cut off and I found myself struggling to find my breath with my hands in the air, panting like an idiot. The blonde maintained her smile, but it was slightly strained. I could tell she was struggling to keep the façade of a Sunbeam member while also retaining critical thinking.
The redhead looked like he was in pain. He was first to speak, and I could tell by his sympathy smile I’d screwed up. The others who I hadn’t fully taken in until that moment, an asian American guy, and a girl with pigtails, were laughing like pre-schoolers. And they didn’t stop until the redhead shot them the warning eyes.
Weirdly enough, the crowd of onlookers didn’t join in. I expected the redhead to politely tell me I sucked, but instead he cocked his head, chewing on his pen. “You’re good.” He said. “You’re a good dancer, and I liked your moves…”
He trailed off. “But it’s positivity we’re looking for. And you didn’t smile once through your whole routine which made you look stiff. Like you weren’t even enjoying it.” He shrugged helplessly. “I like you, and I like your dancing. And I’m sure you could be better if you worked on it. There are countless dancing clubs here, so maybe you might be better fitted there.” After exchanging a look with the blonde, he sighed. “Unfortunately, you’re not the type of person we’re looking for.”
Evie nodded. “I agree. We pride ourselves on staying positive and smiling. I didn’t see that on you, Alex.”
“Same here.” Pigtails, still giggling, joined in. “I don’t think you’ve got enough school spirit.”
The other guy scoffed. He looked to be of Korean descent. Unlike the redhead, he was always at the centre of their group, always joking around and laughing. Just looking at him told me he was the leader. “Bullshit!” He slapped the table with one hand, running his hands through thick dark hair with the other. “I liked it. Fuck pep, amirite?” He threw his pen at the blonde, who retaliated in a squeak, lobbing hers at him. “Ignore these clowns. I think you’ve got what it takes. We just gotta work on you, y’know? All you’re missing is a cheesy grin.”
He pointed to himself, stretching his lips into the widest smile he could muster. “See? Like this.”
“Clowns?” Evie shook her head. “I didn’t see one smile. Sunbeam is all about smiling!”
“You make us sound like a cult.” The Korean-American caught my eye. “Which we’re not, by the way. These guys are just scared of change.”
“Okay, that’s too far.” Pigtails shot him a scowl. Are you seriously disrespecting the alumni who created us? Who birthed us?
“Well, yeah!” He threw his paper at her. “Sunbeam is a pep cult. We get high off of happiness. I thought we distinguished that.”
“Take that back!”
“Never! Why do you think I joined? To get high! Do you really think I joined for the cheering?”
They were joking around. I could tell by the smiles on their faces—a smile I knew I would never be able to mimic.
“Quiet.” The redhead shushed them. The guy had been sitting silently. Studying me. He leaned back, folding his arms.
“See, even now—even when I’m considering giving you a chance, there’s no hope in your eyes. Not even a glitter of excitement. You’re still not smiling and that’s what we want, Alex. We want people who will embody what Sunbeam is all about. Even if I give you a second chance to brighten up your routine your smile will be fake. And that’s not what we want. We want people who are willing to shed their humanity and become beacons.”
Beacons, huh?
And they were seriously saying they weren’t a cult?
The redhead stabbed at his sheet of paper with the end of his pen. “Can’t you just give us one smile? It won’t kill you.”
It was then when the others watching started to laugh—and I wanted to punch the asshole in the face.
“Dude, chill.” The Korean-American played with his pen, twirling it between two fingers. “He’s right, as much as I hate saying it. We do need smilers, unfortunately. But hey, you can try out next year! Just remember to smile, alright?” He threw something at me. A squashed candy bar.
Which made me look even more pathetic.
I found myself nodding, even when I knew it was all bullshit. Still though, what each member had told me hit me harder than it should have. They were just words, what could they do? It turned out, words were far more powerful than I realised—I just didn’t know it yet. I didn’t wait for the others to speak and made a quick getaway, my gut twisting and turning.
They were a cult. That is what I decided. These guys were a cult who needed members willing to throw away their souls. Probably for ritualistic sacrifice.
They needed weak people, I thought. Even when part of me knew they were right. I wasn't a smiler. Every photo I'm in, I'm either frowning or look constipated. Still though, I didn't dwell on the try-outs for too long. By the time a week had gone by, I had mostly forgotten about it and threw myself into my studies and college life.
Though something was wrong with me. It was as if the world had slowed down, had stopped making sense completely. Every day felt like a dream, and I myself felt like I was a ghost, like I was disassociating from my own body. Conversations with people felt fake. Like I was making them up.
I remember waking up day after day in a daze I couldn’t get myself out of. It was only several weeks later did the thick mind fog which had been blanketing my brain finally lift—only for me to hear the news that all six members of the Sunbeam squad had disappeared. I don’t know how I didn’t notice, how I didn’t see the police investigation, or hear rumours being spread around like wildfire.
According to the college, it wasn't technically considered a disappearance since the members were all over eighteen, no longer minors. However, an investigation was conducted, with a statement being released that they were due to be performing at Knoxville College, cheering on our football team. But they never turned up. And what made it worse, was their bus was found abandoned on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Sounds bad, right?
Well, that's what we all thought. Vigils were already being held, and bodies weren't even found yet. Every time I walked back to my dorm after classes, the night would be lit up in warm golden light, candles flickering in the breeze. I'm not sure how many days had gone by-- they all seemed to blur into one-- when our college made another statement. The members of the Sunbeam squad were alive and healthy and had been sent to a training academy for professionals.
When the student body responded with confusion and scepticism, the college reassured us they were coming back once they were finished training. And while my classmates were relieved, I found myself confused. Sunbeam didn't cheer competitively. Their whole thing was that all they wanted to do was spread cheer and pep, regardless of how good they were. I had seen them perform, and they were good, sure. They were better than average. But definitely not good enough to be trained into pro’s. Their moves were too clumsy, too half assed—which I was convinced they thought overwhelming amounts of positivity could fix. So it didn’t make sense that they had been sent to some training academy. I kept up my scepticism until I saw them for myself.
The college were right. Sunbeam returned a week later like nothing had happened.
I did see a change in them. I think that was a universal opinion though. Sunbeam were well known for their pep and cheer, their constant smiling faces which drove me crazy—and it’s not like that stopped. They still smiled. They still walked around campus laughing together, in their own little world. That was when people were watching. When they had an audience. I caught them when they didn’t have an audience. Without eyes on them, they detached from each other, their eyes darkening, expressions twisting, like each of them could smell something rotten in the air. I started noticing they were getting progressively clumsier at keeping up that Sunbeam façade they must have pledged when they joined the group. I figured it was just tiredness. They must have been through some pretty intense training.
Anyway, months went by. I started to feel less distant, and the fog which had been choking me faded, thankfully. I started my junior year moving into a shared house with my roommate, and the only talk I’d heard about Sunbeam was that one of their ex members was rumoured to be pregnant. As for the rest of the squad, they were still popular, still talked about—but their disappearance had definitely made people wary of them. I even heard someone say they were considered bad luck. I guess people thought they had sold themselves out for a chance to get into the big leagues. And it wouldn’t surprise me.
Forced positivity can get you a long way, sure—but recognition can get you further.
It was just a few weeks ago when I was invited to a game. Our first of the season, thanks to delays due to cuts in the sports department. I’m not much of a sports fan, though I needed a distraction from the copious amounts of assignments I’d let pile on my desk.
When I sat down with a chilli dog and Coke, I wasn’t expecting to get so invested in a game where I had no idea what was happening. It was loud and obnoxious and I was choking on the stink of fried food, but it was fun. It was fun until Sunbeam walked out onto the side-lines. I glimpsed them in a blur of blue and gold, and a dull pain crawled across the back of my head. “You okay?” My housemate’s voice was barely distinguishable in my ears, when I found myself transfixed by the way they moved in erratic jumps, quickly taking position. They had gotten better. Everything which was Sunbeam had been stripped away. Their smiles were forced. Wrong.
I remembered they used to push and shove each other, making the crowd laugh. Now though, they were in almost perfect sync in the way they moved, no longer shakily, sometimes stumbling into each other. Their routine was longer than it usually was—and when the Korean-American guy perfected a triple flip, the crowd went crazy. I expected him to smile when he landed, grinning into the audience to generate what Sunbeam was made for. But his expression stayed stoic. Robotic. They were stiff. Heads up, backs straight, staring ahead of them. I was told when I tried out that fake smiles weren’t allowed, and yet that was all I was seeing. I was seeing egotistical grins and curled lips, quick glances between each member.
I expected looks of reassurances, and in jokes only they found funny. Instead, it looked like a mutual agreement.
They were planning something. From the looks on their faces, it wasn’t a firework show.
Sunbeam used to generate happiness. Their smiles, even under a façade, had always been real.
These guys emanated power. The way they stood. The guy’s at the front, readying what I guessed was a lift, and the girl’s on top of them.
Their routine ended with the music reaching a climax, and the two main girl’s being lifted into the air while performing High V’s.
But they didn’t stop there.
When the crowd exploded with applause, one of the girl’s slowly raised her right arm and shot into the crowd with finger guns.
She shot twice—and with every time she pulled that imaginary trigger, her painted lips stretched into a maniacal grin.Until her gaze was on me. And then behind me. I could see it in her glittering eyes I could no longer call human. I met Evie at the start of my freshman year, and then at the disastrous try-outs.
I knew her wide smile, and the glint of passion twisting her expression—a love for the group and the members she couldn’t put into words. Right then I wasn’t seeing Evie, a Sunbeam cheerleader. I was seeing something else entirely, a being scanning faces in the crowd for a victim.
Her expression seemed to melt, from a gleeful grin, to something twisted and putrid, someone who craved the exact opposite of what Sunbeam preached. I watched her lips. I watched the words pop into existence, drowned into nothing by the crowds cheering. But I saw them in perfect clarity. “Drop.” She said, before pulling the imaginary trigger again.
No sooner had the words left her mouth before someone screamed behind me. I twisted around to see a guy had collapsed. He was pronounced dead five minutes later by his sobbing girlfriend who had attempted CPR. When I twisted back to look out onto the field, the Sunbeam Squad were gone. It didn’t make sense that they were the ones to cause the guy’s death—but it couldn’t have been a coincidence, right? Evie had shot into the crowd at the exact same time the guy had dropped dead. Finger guns weren’t a weapon of course, but the timing was too coincidental. I already knew there was something wrong with Sunbeam. And this just strengthened my claims.
Obviously, when I tried to tell people this, I was called crazy. Delusional. I reported it to the student information building and just got a blank stare.
The woman wasn’t even attempting to hear my story. She just heard “murder” and “Sunbeam” and her lips curved into an amused smirk. “You know, you are quite fascinating,” leaning back against her chair, the woman frowned at me through wonky glasses. "First you unexpectedly quit, and then you accuse them of murder. Which I can tell you is false.”
She flipped through a notebook in front of her. “According to the autopsy report released a few days ago, the young man died of a brain haemorrhage, not the result of being pretend shot at by a cheerleader miming finger-guns.” The woman cleared her throat.
“Tell me, what exactly do you have against the Sunbeam squad?"
“What?”
“You quit the squad at the end of your freshman year,” she said, “And now you’re trying to accuse them of murder? Fascinating.”
Her words struck me, a shiver sliding down my spine. The office was cosy, and when I sunk into the rich leather of the couch in front of a roaring fire I recognised the book on her desk. It was a dog eared copy of Harry Potter. I’d seen it before. But that was impossible. I had never been in her office. “Quit?” I shook my head. “No, I don’t…” I trailed off, stumbling over my words. “I’ve never been part of Sunbeam.”
“Were you not?” She shook her head, a crease forming between her brows. “Ah, I must be getting you mixed up with someone else.”
I nodded. “Just… can you just listen to me? That Evie girl was fucking—”
She cut me off. “Language.”
“Sorry. Evie. She was… I don’t know what she was doing... she was doing like... like voodoo?”
“Are you sure you didn’t dream it?”
“Yes!"
“Mmm hmm.” The woman cleared her throat, dismissing my protests. “I’m not a doctor, but If you’re experiencing memory loss and confusion, I suggest you go to the hospital. As for your ludicrous claims, you should keep them to yourself. That poor young man died due to a brain haemorrhage. Terrible and tragic, yes. But it was accidental, and not the work of… I’m sorry, what were you claiming it to be?”
“Voodoo.” I said, again.
When she raised her brow, I couldn’t resist a groan. “I saw her! She shot into the crowd and mouthed something!”
“She… mouthed something?”
“Yes! But—"
Again, her words sliced into mine. “Okay, let’s say you were right,” she said. “If you are saying this girl shot into the crowd with her imaginary gun, wouldn’t it be a gun shot which would have killed him? You said it yourself—it was voodoo, some kind of witchy magic to kill him. So, where was the bullet wound?” When I tried to speak, she raised her arm to shut me up.
“Exactly. There was none. Because the man suffered a haemorrhagic stroke, and nothing could be done to save him. Your claims a group of young people carried this out as a murder is not only blatant defamation, but also disrespectful to the young man and his family. Now, please leave my office. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” The woman nodded for me to stand up. “I think you have been watching too much TV. Might I suggest focusing on your studies?”
I left her office, slamming the door.
My housemate wasn’t helpful when I told him. He told me I was maybe a little too obsessed with Sunbeam. He headed to work, and I ended up in the lounge trying to focus on an episode of Criminal Minds. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Evie.
I saw what she said.
Drop.
But it wasn’t the force of her imaginary finger-guns ricocheting back. It was the word. Drop.
It had been alive on her lips like it was a sentient thing bleeding into existence. I managed to fall asleep, twisted like a pretzel in my housemate’s favourite chair, when three loud knocks on the door tore me from slumber. I was on my feet, blinking, disoriented. It was rare when we got a visitor. Stumbling over to the door, I had a moment of hesitation. I imagined Evie on the other side.
I imagined her raising her arm and shooting her pretend finger-guns directly into my head.
When I opened the door, I was surprised to see three little kids. The youngest must have been maybe nine years old. To my surprise, they were dressed in Halloween costumes. There was a little witch, a ghost, and a scarecrow all carrying pumpkin shaped holders It took me a moment to realise I was staring at a group of Trick or Treaters. It wasn’t even mid-October yet.
“Hey there,” I said, “Uh, you guys are a little early.”
The little girl’s eyes were wide and unblinking. “We want candy.” She held out her candy holder. “Now.”
I decided to be firm with them. “It’s not Halloween.” I said, taking a small step back. I was grasping the handle, ready to slam it in their faces. These little shits were freaking me out. Not just their tone, but their expressions were vacant. There were no lights on and that terrified me. “Sorry kids, I don’t have any candy. But like I said, come back when it’s actually Halloween, and I’ll have candy bars for all of you. "
What I wasn’t expecting was for the Scarecrow to pull a knife out of his pumpkin shaped candy holder. He didn’t hold it like a kid should, clumsily, confused. There was a strategic way the way his fingers were wrapped around the handle—like he’d brandished one before. The kid held the knife up to his own neck and made a slicing motion. Like the little girl, his eyes were blank. Unblinking. There was something wrong in the way he was standing. Stiff, like a puppet on strings. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He squeaked out a laugh. I didn’t see him lunge forward, I was already moving back, stumbling, losing my footing.
The kid moved with impossible speed—and before I knew what was happening, the hilt of the knife was buried in my lower leg. I didn’t even feel pain. My body was being driven by adrenaline, pushing me to get away from him. I remember falling back. I remember my own trembling hands grasping hold of the handle and pulling out the knife. Red was pooling down my jeans and onto our hardwood floor. The little kids turned around and ran back down the steps into the night, and I watched them in a sort of daze.
They didn’t move like normal.
They stalked down the sidewalk like video game characters. The witch shoved a passing old man before pulling out a gun and pointing it at his head. But she didn’t shoot. The three of them ran off—and it was only when I was watching the top of the girl’s witch hat disappear into the night, when I glimpsed something—or someone—at the corner of my eye.
Before I heard laughter. The tree in front of me moved. At first I thought they were shadow’s. Before the shadows bled into figures. Four of them. I glimpsed the school colours. Blue and Gold. I saw twin ponytails, velvet and blonde-- as well as the tell-tale Sunbeam varsity jacket. The group were laughing, whispering to each other. Not exactly doing a good job of hiding. When they slipped from their hiding place, I recognised Evie. Her fingers gingerly on her nose while intense red pooled down her chin.
The others were the same, swiping at their faces with jacket sleeves. They didn’t seem fazed. The redhead’s gaze was latched onto the retreating children, his lips curling. I could sense he was still tethered to them. He was still commanding them to act out grand theft auto. They had caused the man’s death at the game and had controlled those children.
I wasn’t crazy or delusional. Evie had killed someone by simply shooting imaginary finger guns, and somehow the others were able to bleed into children’s heads, taking them over.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I heaved out a breath. The pain was starting to hit in waves I had to grit through. I couldn’t move. I was stuck, curled up on my floor. While they laughed.
I was halfway through stabbing 911 into my phone when one of them came over. It was the Korean-American. The one who had been the nicest to me out of all of them. The real smile I remembered was gone, replaced by something inhuman. Something I didn’t want to question.
With his hands stuffed in his varsity jacket pockets, he approached me with mocking eyes, almost an attempt at trying to mimic his old self.
The guy knelt in front of me with a chuckle. “Kids these days, right? They’re animals.”
His voice, no, his words, were hurting me. I felt each one penetrate me like gunshots.
My wound wasn’t bad. That’s what I estimated, anyway. I don’t think the kid had hit anything vital. But I needed the emergency room. I still had one hand grasping at my side, drenched in red.
I managed a hiss, grasping for my phone when he pulled it out of my grasp and waved it in the air. “Fuck off. What did you do to those little kids?” I gritted out, trying to reach for my damn phone. I was starting to feel the pain in my side and it hurt like a mother fucker—dizzying bolts of electricity which felt like waves of boiling hot water slamming into me one by one. I tried to get onto my knees, but he pushed me back down again. The guy cocked his head to the side, confusion creasing his expression.
“Ouch. That must hurt.”
"What did you... what did you do?" I hissed out.
His presence was hurting me. Every time he opened his mouth, it was agony. Somehow, it was worse than the stab-wound. This kind of pain was no other I’d felt before. The type I’d rather die than feel. A cry was clawing at my throat, fight or flight taking over. Again, I tried to move, I tried to get away from him. But he was holding down my arms and prodding at my side before sticking his finger in the cut and twisting. "I didn't do anything, Alex.”
His voice barely hit me when my vision blurred and I screamed. Like a fucking animal, I screamed. But not because his fingers were digging around in my insides.
Because my brain was suddenly boiling, a metal rod piercing my skull and stirring it into a soupy mess. His voice was inside me. It was bleeding into me, taking over me. But not just his voice. The world blurred around me and I was no longer in my doorway, bleeding out against the wall.
Instead, I was moving. I was… I was walking. No, I was being dragged. Except these weren’t my memories. This wasn’t my mind. I could see bare feet beneath me delicately slapping on white tiles. When I looked up, I saw an expanse of white like I was being led straight into the clouds. This was a building. There were glass doors and electronic panels, people in black guarding each one. It took a while for me to gain my senses—or him to gain his.
We could smell something like chlorine and taste rusty coins at the back of our throat. Feel the ice cold tiles against our bare toes. A strange feeling at the back of our head. We kept wanting to run our fingers through our hair, but every time we did, our fingers only touched bare skin. Scuffed and rigged skin. Tight fingers were wrapped around our arm, dragging us further and further into a white oblivion. Until a glass door seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
From now on, I am going to describe his memories very vaguely. I’m just going to tell you what I saw.
The room we walked into reminded me of a classroom—but there were no desks. In front of me were the other members of Sunbeam pressed against the back wall. They faced forwards, their gazes penetrating nothing. But I saw they were trembling. Terrified. The squad were dressed in pale white shorts and t-shirt, ugly red spattering the front. There were still traces of blue and glitter on their faces, ribbons hanging from bedraggled curls.
Their feet were bare and filthy like ours. When we were shoved forwards, we took our place next to Evie who had half of her hair shaved off. Her arms were folded across her cheer uniform, her bare feet tapping a beat against the floor. When a woman with dark red hair held in a strict ponytail entered and asked if either of us wanted to show her what we had learned, Evie eagerly raised her hand. “Okay, Evie.” The woman’s voice was too sweet. Sickly sweet. She gestured for the girl forward. “Show us what you’ve got.”
The door opened, and a man stepped through. His hands were tied in front of him, his eyes blank.
Evie nodded, her eyes set in determination. She cleared her throat. “Shatter.”
Nothing happened.
“Intent, Evie.” The woman said. “It doesn’t matter how you say the word unless you use proper intent. Try again.”
The girl did, growling in frustration.
"Shatter.”
The man’s head flew from his torso suddenly in a river of red, and the girl squeaked in excitement.
While we watched in horror, the rest of the squad gave in to their own despair.
Different days bled into one—and we watched faces change. Heads were shaved. Hair grew back. Fear turned to joy.
A blonde girl exploded into bloody chunks, splattering against the walls.
“Yes!” The redhead high-fived pigtails, the two of them locked into some bizarre handshake. “That’s what I’m TALKING about!”
“Bang!” One of the girls used finger guns, and with each “shot” innocents dropped against the wall one by one, their heads blown through.
She jumped up and down in glee. “Bang, bang, bang!”
“Keep going,” the voice of the woman crackled through the speaker. “You’ve almost got it.”
“Divide.” Pigtails used her pointer finger at an old man who was skewed by an invisible force sending bloody chunks of him to the floor.
"Show off.” The redhead said in a sing-song voice. He was slumped against the back wall using his jersey to wipe blood from his face while the others painted the room scarlet. With simple words of intent and a hand gesture, they were able to take people apart piece by piece.
Pigtails snorted when another “test subject” was brought in. "Oh, you think you can do better?”
“Think I can? I know I can.”
This time he plunged two fingers into his temples. He was centre stage, the others against the back wall with their arms folded.
“Rip it out.”
The test subject’s eyes widened, her trembling hands clawing at her own head, fingernails digging into flesh. “Rip…rip it out?”
His lip curved. “That’s what I said.”
We didn’t see the test subject rip her own brain from her skull. We were already burying our head into our knees and screeching into the floor. Another flash. Like watching a movie.
This time we’re cutting into our wrist with shards of glass. Pulling back fleshy flaps of our flesh, there are two wires entangled with muscle and bone. One red and one blue. “Why won’t you submit?” A sharp growl, and I can feel our body pressed against metal. Our arms are restrained. “Out of all of them, you refuse it.” A hand slaps our face. “You don’t want it!”
He started to laugh.
“You don’t want… control?”
He leaned his face closer. “Tell me to mutilate myself. Tell me to… to tear out my brain stem! That’s the beauty of it! No matter how impossible the order is, it will be completed! Control, my boy. Use it. Do you even understand how much you are going to shape the world? Words! Do you know how powerful they are? When said from the right mouth, with the right intent, they can cause bloodshed, pain and misery-- a despair drowning our already shattered earth. And you will be the centre of it. You will bring this world to its knees, Jason."
"Now, do it. We call it cutting, but you will find familiarity in referring to it as erasure. You can make up your own words if you would like. What matters is the intent.” I feel something slicing into our arm. It’s nothing medical. It’s torture. He plunges something sharp into the same spot and twists the blade until we throw our head back and scream at the ceiling.
“You’re the last one.” The man hissed. “Do it.”
“No.” I heard his—our—voice. “I… I can’t!”
“Do it!”
He’s dragging us again, forcing us down a long winding corridor until we reach another door.
"Drown." The boy - - Jason's-- voice was suddenly in my head. I could sense it was trying to hold back, attempting to peel back whatever power his own words had. But the word came again and again until it was suffocating his mouth. “Drown. Drown. Drown. Drown.” We were standing in the doorway of a smaller room. In the corner there was a figure curled up with their head pressed against the wall.
It was a guy.
I recognised our school colours, a bloodied varsity jacket over shorts and t-shirt. When he lifted his head and twisted to face the boy whose mind I was in, I noticed he had an uncanny resemblance to me. His eyes wide, frightened. They were my mother's.
This guy looked exactly like me.
No, it WAS me.
My eyes were shadowed and haunted.
Like I had been drained of everything I was.
As quickly as the memories came crashing into me, they were yanked away when the guy must have pulled back.
I blinked rapidly, and Jason looked as confused as me. Slowly, he pulled his finger from my cut. The man's voice was in my skull, and it was agonising. I felt the command in my head, my body instantly reacting to... to nothing. I had my hands out, ready to do.... do something.
"That was… just a trick,” He said. “Yeah! Just a trick!”
I found myself nodding, echoing his words. Something warm ran from my nose.
"Just... a trick..." I whispered, the words forced from my lips.
Blood spattered down my chin.
“Louder.” He said.
"JUST A TRICK!" I yelled, the force of the wail sending me my knees, panting. The guy was frowning, seemingly unsure what to do with me.
He wrapped up my wound and told me it wasn’t bad—and it wasn’t. I watched in disbelief as my skin stitched itself back together.
"Go into your kitchen." Jason said, and I felt the power of his words ripping through me like bullets. My body moved on its own, and I got to my feet and stepped into my kitchen. He followed me, grabbing a scarf off of the table.
"Get on your knees." I did, dropping to my knees, my breath in my throat, my mouth sealed shut. I could sense the others in the doorway as he wrapped the scarf around my eyes, the heel of his shoe slamming into my neck forcing me onto my stomach.
"I want you to wait for me to kill you."
His words pierced into me. I did. Even when I knew he was gone, the door slamming shut-- I waited. I waited until the next morning, until I regained control over my own body and pulled the scarf from my eyes. I'm still waiting, my brain in constant panic, twisting around when I'm alone, looking into every corner.
I was roped into going to Friday's game against Harrington. During Sunbeam’s routine, they did it again. They had the crowd's attention, and Evie was mouthing something. I felt her words, sharp like needles cutting into me. But they didn't penetrate. They have done something to the student body. Ever since, I’ve been catching looks around me. Those whose heads they have crawled into. Mindless eyes. Every so often an arm will touch mine, fingers will wrap around my neck. I can hear their feet pitter pattering after me. Those little kids from that night. I keep seeing the little witch girl in the corner of my eye. They’re creating an army who are coming for me once he decides to kill me.
If only I knew what happened to the Sunbeam squad. Maybe I can help them somehow.
But something tells me they’re way past help.
And so am I.
I wonder if one day, I might be allowed a glimpse of my memories. What really happened to me during my freshman year.
And why, ever since going into his mind, I dream of a white room.

I was diagnosed at the age of 30
My life didn't change overnight as most autistic influencers. No one taught me what Autism is. I've had to figure out over time what it means to me.
I'm not ashamed to be Autistic. I publicly own it on my LinkedIn profile.
I work as a freelance social media writer + as an FT SEO Strategist (fancy names for strategy and execution roles in digital marketing)
I have too many struggles with my executive functioning already. But I get by. It's hard but I'm trying. It'll probably never get any easier. I am willing to accept that. I do need to set better routines. I'm shit at them.
But what I don't want to accept is that I'm somehow disabled coz I'm Autistic.
I seek to work with my brain. But personally speaking, I'm 33 year old male with almost zero friends. Both my parents are dead and my brother is estranged. I'm lonely as fuck. I need friends. I need assurance that I will be alright. I need emotional validation. I need motivation that I can tackle the challenges that Autism brings.
My mental health is not as bad as before. My anxiety is okay.
Yet my therapist keeps bringing up meds and Autism over and over again and it irritates me to no end.
I don't need constant reminders that I'm disabled. I accept that I'm Autistic and I am not ashamed about it. But constant reminders are psychologically grating to my brain. I need soothing people not annoying people in my life.

Hey! I am just feeling too depressed and searching for advices to move on. It happened a bit more than one week ago and, honestly, I don't know what I feel at all. My ex bf (17M) was my (17M) first serious love and I had felt too romantic and emotional (in a good sense) for all time spent together with him (almost 4 months). And it was almost the same for him (except the 'first love' part). We really had great relationship or maybe it only seems so for me rn. My mental health got better cuz of him, I started liking my appearance, my personality and such things. He really helped me to overcome my insecurities, so did I. I also tried to help him with this and it seemed to work like he always told that my support meant a lot for him and etc. He has problems with his mental health (bipolar disorder) and sometimes it bothered us and our relationship a lot. We had almost never had arguments or smth like that, we didn't escape from this, we just were supporting each other while there were difficult times. With him I found out some new things in my personality and I changed a lot. In the beginning everything was really perfect, but then there were always studying and other things that made us both busy. He didn't make time for me cuz of everything of that, but I was always accepting it and waiting for him. And in the end of April his mental health got much worse and he was just ghosting me after one dialogue. It had continued for almost one week and I was too depressed and suicidal, I was texting him almost everyday even knowing that he wouldn't read and answer it, but he did... He said about thoughts in his head and etc, he really felt too guilty and I sure forgave him and things again got much and much better. We were spending more time with each other and I didn't expect what happened later. Since that I had never mentioned the topic about not having enough time from him cuz I was too afraid that it would make him feeling like a problem (btw, his mental health got worse that time not cuz of it, but still), but I felt weird too. Tbh, I was crying almost everyday since the beginning of April (when he started not giving enough attention to me), but I didn't care about myself while being with him, however, exactly few hours before the breakup I even prepared some words to say about that later to him. And then I didn't get messages from him almost the whole day and when he finally texted me he seemed very cold. At first, we just discussed our moods, nothing special and then he said that wanted to stop our relationship. He said that he didn't want long term relationship, didn't feel as before and couldn't get comfortable with me. I couldn't believe, even asked him if it was a joke, but, unfortunately, it wasn't. Later I just was in a panic and asked him about becoming friends then cuz I didn't want to lose such a person in my life and he said that we could. Then I got emotional again and said that I put much effort to our relationship to make it work out, that I had already planned my future with him and etc and he left me and started ignoring. He didn't read my messages about how I am thankful to him and that it was actually good experience and that's nice that he understood such a thing. And I asked him to tell everything, all of his thoughts about this situation if he could. On the next day he read these messages, but didn't answer anything and I got more upset. I tried to understand and accept that everything is over and I even felt a bit better. After few days I deleted out chat for both of us understanding that I will never get an answer, but knowing him he really can text me soon and it frightens me a lot, but at the same time I want him to return to me, not like a friend, as a partner. And now I feel much better while days cuz I get busy and distract myself such ways, but when there are nights I just again think about him, my brain still thinks that he will return, I dunno why, and I miss him a lot. I know that time heals, but I have exams soon and I can't concentrate at all. And cuz of thoughts that he can text me one day in the future I can't normally move on and forget him, but I understand that I need to do it. That I have all my life in the future and many ppl, but exactly now I want only me and him in this future... Also I can't stop myself from checking his social medias even tho I know that it is too stupid and it only reminds me him. So, I wish you all a good day and much love!!

So basically I fucked up my first year (2.6) and I’m looking for advice on how to study but I kind of feel hopeless because to get 4.0s for the next 3 years (plus retaking a C- in a prereq) is very challenging and I would only have a cGPA of 3.66. Granted one of my exams was lower than I expected and I suspect it to be a huge scantron error, costing 40% of my exam (happened to my midterm in the same class btw, got tons of marks back from it) so I’m in the process of sending a reread request for an extra 0.03 boost for my gpa, but at this point I’m gonna assume my gpa won’t change either way :/ Also my sGPA would be ~3.6 since I’ll be taking mostly science courses, idk if it’ll help me though. I’m not even at the point of the mcat and I’m stressing heavily on all this premed shit. Im wanting to achieve 520+ and i can’t even get above 3.0 first year??? I really want to be a doctor and I know how stressful it is to go to med school and residency, let alone actually working as a doctor. I know I have the potential to excel in all these things but when it comes to study or any other activity, I just lose focus very easily and binge watch YouTube for long periods of time, either that or i keep hyping myself over these posts on Reddit that got into md with a <3.5 gpa and commenting online about how a low gpa can still yield success in md, it’s useless. I try to stop these habits but it’s fruitless. I know stats aren’t everything and you don’t need a 4.0 but let’s be serious… they make up a majority of your application and high stats gives you a realistic chance of getting into us md. The only things I have going for me so far is having research experience this summer, volunteering in a pharmacy for 3 years now, did shadowing at a hospital during summer before gr 12 and I’m gonna be volunteering at my church later this summer, but of course I still need more than that, really need to start clinical hours soon. I keep on taking about MD when I could apply to DO. A part of me wants to go to DO but I want to stick to MD because 1. There aren’t as many countries I could practice in than MD 2. MD had more options for residency 3. family pressure for me to get into MD in case we have to move to another country (a good point ngl) You wanna know something funny? My parents and my sister (who’s a doctor in the US btw) are highly encouraging me to apply right after third year, my cGPA would be a 3.53 at best at that time, and they believe that I have a legitimate chance at getting into us md with THAT…. Even if I got 520+, it may be possible, but I’m most likely to not even get a single interview. The only thing I could think of is doing a masters and getting a 4.0 in that or taking an extra year to boost my gpa. I’m very open in spending more time to improve my application for med school but my family disapproves. At one point they seemed to agree but then disagreed because “this guy got in to us md with a <3.0” type shit, and if I don’t get in by the end of fourth year, they want me to go to the Caribbean, at that point, I’d rather go to DO if there was no other option for me even though it would limit my residency options. I did some research on the Caribbean and i don’t find it reliable to give me a stable future (yes, even the top Caribbean schools, I’m sure u guys know that).
Idk. I never realized there was a problem with me mentally and though I was just lazy until after first year. Maybe I’m overthinking this. Used to get 97 in gr 12 bio and in freshman I got 60 in bio. I heard this is generally a normal transition from hs to uni but I was inactive for most of the time in first year when I comes to studying. I gave up exercising before exams and didn’t return to it. I don’t even draw as much as I used to. I used to draw so much when I was in highschool, but I just stopped… Tbh I think I might have mental issues because every single time I try to stick to a plan to study (or do anything in general) it doesn’t work (as evident by my shitty first year gpa), even second semester I improved in the assignments, but I had family issues during exams (not being able to spend family time as well as missing church to study, still fucking up exams, guess I should never skip church again) I’m currently looking for advice on how to study better and planning to go see a therapist or something cause I really need to get 4.0s in the next three years to even have a reasonable chance at applying to US MD…. Oh and did I mention I was in Canada, making applying to the US that much harder (fuck Canada, fr wish I wasn’t born here)

Her name was Amelia. Giles had never heard of her, but he could tell that she was strong. With a single swing of her rusty blade, she had easily deflected Eloise the Dark Wizard’s black lightning.
Giles himself could barely even react to it— despite his speed and agility as a Level 57 [Daggermaster], he had only been able to gape in awe as the dark spell shot through the air at him. And yet, Amelia had somehow been able to stop it.
No— she didn’t just stop it. She did so much more. She had intercepted the black lightning bolt, before cutting it in half with a decrepit sword that looked like it could shatter at any moment.
The Flying Blade didn’t comprehend. He couldn’t comprehend it. How did she get here? Did she teleport in with a spell while he was distracted? That was the only explanation.
He rose to his feet as she swept her gaze over her surroundings. The entire battlefield came to a halt to face this third party— every soldier in the convoy had their sword and their bow and their staff aimed at her. Rokh the Bludgeoning Striker raised a pair of metal gauntlets, and Seth the Battlemage conjured another frost broadsword.
The Clawed Hands had been thoroughly defeated— except for Giles himself. Nevertheless, it was not like there was anyone else for the legion of soldiers from the Kingdom of Kal to turn their attention to; they focused their gaze on their lone enemy.
Even Eloise tilted her head curiously to face the brown-haired woman.
“Who are—” the Dark Witch started.
And Amelia blinked as she looked down at Giles. “Wait, you’re not Evan.”
“Evan? You mean the guildmaster?” He stared at her, taking a step back in confusion.
“Yeah— you’re Giles, right?” she said as she helped steady him. “Where’s Evan? I’m here to free him.”
Giles shook his head, glancing back at the armored wagon at the center of the convoy. “He’s locked up over there. But…”
He pursed his lips as he watched Seth take a step forward. The Battlemage was bruised— hurt from the brief scuffle with Giles. And yet, despite the injuries he had sustained, Seth looked ready to go for a round with Amelia.
An armor of ice began to form around him as he grinned. “I have been entrusted by my King to protect the cargo with my life. I will not let you even get close to—”
And Amelia appeared right next to him, with a finger raised to his chest. Seth blinked. Giles stared in shock. The legion of soldiers looked on with wide eyes as she poked his ice armor.
Seth took a step back as his ice armor began to crack— and a moment later, it shattered into thousands of pieces. He looked down in horror as his staff too began to crumble.
“What?” He stared at himself for a moment. And his clothes fell apart next, leaving only his underwear to cover his privates. “H-how…?”
“That was a warning,” Amelia said as she drew back from him. “I’m not going to hold back if you guys get in my way.”
Giles couldn’t believe his eyes— it took some of his best Skills to break through Seth’s ice armor. And yet, she was able to shatter it with just a finger.
Was this an illusion? A trick? Did Giles die, and was he imagining this whole situation up? He couldn’t believe it. But it was happening.
“T-t-that was my [Armor of the Frost Lord]!” Seth exclaimed. He looked down at his shredded robes and broken staff. “And those were A-grade artifacts… how did you…?”
The Battlemage couldn’t comprehend it either. But Amelia didn’t seem to care. She rubbed her chin in thought as she murmured to herself.
“...well, alright, maybe I’ll hold back. I don’t want to accidentally kill everyone, you know?”
Seth gritted his teeth. He raised a hand as a ball of mist coalesced in the palm of his hand. He unleashed a blast of frost at Amelia— the spell engulfing her point-black.
“Take this, you monster!” he screamed. “[Frost Wyvern’s Breath]!”
Giles staggered back as he felt the chilly winds reach him. Even from a distance, he could feel the intensity of the spell that was unleashed— a powerful attack for an A-rank. But as the dust settled, Amelia stepped out of a small crater, completely unscathed.
Eloise narrowed her eyes. Seth stumbled back in horror. Because the brown-haired woman suffered not a single scratch— even her clothes escaped unharmed.
“Are you serious?” she said flatly. “I gave you a chance to give up, and you try this shit? Are you an idiot?”
Giles himself winced from her words. Even though they weren’t direct to him, it still stung— because he knew he would have tried the same thing out of pure disbelief or what was happening.
Seth tried to work his jaw as he stared at her. But nothing came out. She just sighed as she took a step forward.
“Look, if you get out of the way now, I’ll—”
But a booming voice interrupted her. “Oh? Very interesting!”
Rokh laughed wildly as marched forward. He slammed his gauntleted fists together, and a sharp metallic sound rang out. A crimson aura overcame him as he smiled savagely. Eloise just looked on.
“I am Rokh the Bludgeoning Striker!” He smirked as he walked straight up to the brown-haired woman. He raised a fist, ready to swing down at her. “I am going to enjoy pummeling you to death—”
And he was cut off. Quite literally. His head was cut cleanly off in an instant. Blood splattered on the ground as Amelia lowered her blade.
“Must I literally kill every single one of you here to prove my point?” She shook her head as she swept her gaze over the legion of soldiers. “No more warnings— I’m freeing Evan. Don’t get in my way.”
Amelia spun around to face the armored wagon. Seth stumbled back away from her. He looked like he wanted to run— Giles himself wanted to run too in the face of this overwhelming power.
She had killed Rokh the Bludgeoning Striker just like that.
He was a high-leveled captain. He had been the one in charge of the small army Kallistus Kal had led to Windrip. Giles had heard of his fighting prowess. Even though they were of similar level, the [Daggermaster] hadn’t been sure if he could defeat the Bludgeoning Striker.
But Amelia defeated him. She killed him before he could even react. He didn’t even put up a fight. He lay slumped over on the ground, headless as his legion looked on. A susurration swept through their numbers. They whispered amongst themselves.
They looked like they didn’t know what to do. Their leader was dead, and they were lost. They exchanged nervous glances as Amelia strode forward to the armored wagon. She walked past Seth as he gritted his teeth.
And he spun around, raising a sphere of frost. “Don’t let her—” he started.
But Amelia swung back with her sword, cutting his head off without even looking his way. Giles flinched at the suddenness of it. The watching soldiers winced too— reaching their wits’ end. And she glanced dismissively at them.
“I suggest the rest of you run away,” she said simply.
And with that, they shattered. The legion of soldiers ran for it as they cried out in terror. Giles wanted to join them, but he was petrified. He couldn’t even move. He watched as they fled into the distance as the brown-haired woman just sighed.
“Good,” Amelia whispered to herself. “At least those guys have common sense. Now—”
She paused when she saw a figure descend from the sky just before her. Eloise landed right on top of the armored wagon, raising her staff. Amelia massaged her temples.
“Oh my god, please just stop…”
Giles blinked, looking between the Dark Wizard and the brown-haired woman. Neither of them attacked each other. Not just yet.
“I have to admit, I am impressed— no, I am not impressed.” Eloise tilted her head back. “I am absolutely terrified by what I have just witnessed. You slew both Rokh the Bludgeoning Striker and Seth the Battlemage with ease. I can’t lie and say that I am looking forward to facing you in battle.”
Amelia just looked back at her with a deadpan expression. “Then… why don’t you just not do that? It’s very simple— you step to the side, and we’ll all be happy.”
“Unfortunately…” the S-rank mercenary said as she shook her head. “Even if you are quite the monster, I have no choice but to stop you. My contract demands it so.”
“That’s really fucking stupid,” the brown-haired woman sighed, unsheathing her blade once again. “Are you seriously going to be risking your life because of a contract?”
“Yes,”came the response.
Giles watched on as Amelia continued to walk forward, while Eloise raised her staff. He pursed his lips, not knowing what was going to happen next. After all, the Dark Wizard was S-rank in level.
But Amelia? Well… Giles just didn’t know.

Author's Notes:
Start of the new month! Just so you know, book 3 has started over on patreon if you subscribe now :)
You can read up to 15 chapters ahead on my patreon here!
Join my discord and subscribe to my subreddit!
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Previous Next Read Ahead on my Patreon

Hi folks!
Welcome to Pan those Eyeshadows! Feel free to join in any time!
Rules of the project (feel free to change them to fit your needs best!):

• Randomly choose 5 eyeshadows to work on at a time. You should always have the same number of eyeshadows in your project.
• You can roll out an eyeshadow and select a new one once you have:
  • hit pan on the eyeshadow OR
  • used the eyeshadow at least 15 times.

Feel free to upload pictures if you would like! I will likely do so on and off.
I plan on keeping this project going on a rolling basis, so feel free to set goals for the year but also know that I don't consider this a "year-long" project and will just keep on posting it every month. Let's see how many updates we can rack up, shall we?
---
MY UPDATE
I think this year I will focus on rotating through as many eyeshadows as possible, so I will have to balance that goal with hitting pan. I started about a month ago, so I do have some pans hit already!
Shadows Rolled Out:

• Shroud Cosmetics Rati, from the Divinity Palette: used this 15 times!
• Victoria Beckham Oxblood, from the Tweed Palette: also used this 15 times! I ended up really enjoying this little palette!

Current Eyeshadows in Project:

• Melt Radon: Used this total 4 times. I enjoy this shadow but it's so powdery now. I wouldn't be surprised if I hit pan only because there is soooo much kickback. I really think the shadow dried out as it aged. Bummer!
• Adept Cosmetics ACI21, from the Ninhydrin Palette: Used this another time for a total of twice and I absolutely love the way I figured out how to wear it but it's a pretty intense look so it takes me some extra time. Would like to challenge myself to do it five more times this month.
  
• Eunique Beauty Massage, from the Me, Myself, and I Palette: Used this 3 times! I just need to find ways to not wear neutrals all day.
  
• Bahama Mama mini sample: rolled in this month, used it 3 times so far. I think this will be another 15 and out.
  
• Jaclyn Hill x Morphe MFEO: rolled in this month, haven't used it yet. I have hit pan in this palette before but it was in a shimmer shade, so we will see how it goes!
  

Pans hit so far: 2
Eyeshadows rolled out after 15 uses: 2
Bonus pans (pans hit on eyeshadows outside of this project): 0
Total eyeshadows used throughout the project (including current ones): 9

my aunt whom i was very close with committed suicide a few days ago. my uncle called me right after it happened and honestly told me way too much (no blame to him as i’m sure he was in complete shock from finding her - it was just very detailed and it haunted my brain). the first day all i could see/think about was her body and how it all went down. her suicide was a complete shock to everyone, as she had zero history of mental health issues. i guess over the last (almost) 2 months, due to an incident, she had been in extreme distress, and from what it sounds like her mental health just completely deteriorated. in her note she said that she just couldn’t live in fear anymore. the call notifying me of her death was the first time I had heard about the incident and her not doing well, i guess she even tried to commit suicide via hanging herself a few days before she ended up shooting herself. from what i’ve been told she felt like she failed my uncle and then became very paranoid. i know it happened, i know she’s dead, but somehow it’s just all so unfathomable to me. her (private) funeral is tomorrow with just her small immediate family and honestly i’m just dreading going. they’re doing a viewing which i won’t partake in but i know i’m just going to lose it at the funeral and i don’t want too. she will then be cremated and then we’ll have a public funeral for her in a few weeks, which i also don’t want to attend. i just want to be done with it all and begin moving on from the pain. i’m 3 months pregnant and also worry about stressing out my baby too much.
when does the pain and anxiety begin to subside? when will i stop thinking about the gruesome scene that i picture in my head? how do i hold it together at her funeral tomorrow?
i’m sorry this was so rambly - my brain just doesn’t stop and i felt like this was the place to ask these questions/vent

This is the second idea I'm presenting here. If you want to check my other idea, click here
Expansion Idea: Journey to the Center of Azeroth (Jules Verne inspired set) : hearthstone (reddit.com)
(Imitating Jaster Gallywix)
Intro: Welcome! Are you'se a bored hero with a ton of free time and lots o' cash? Then come down to my Pleasure Palace! Jaster Gallywix here, reknown cartel leader, big military boss, and all around lovable billionaire! And my Pleasure Palace is the ultimate in luxury and all around good time!
Come to our tables and take part in exciting high stakes games, which fortune can be won with a single roll of a dice or flip of a card! Or perhaps youse are more into something more engaging and unpredictable? We've got races featuring the best ridahs all over Azeroth for betting and winning loads of cashola!
When yer done with our fine gambling activities, we got loads more to entertain ya! Watch our exciting magic shows and our live trick animal acts! Come to our luxury spa, run by the lovely Madam Izu-Mi and her husband, Zieg. Feel like cutting loose? Our night club hosts an assortment of great talent, such as our resident singah, Sarah Screachsong! And feel free to take part in our nightly dance competition against our resident champion, Aviss Speedstep!
Feelin' hungry? We've got da best restaurants on Azeroth too! First, we've got the Felgirl Grill, run by our 7-star chef, Greeta Felgrill, who uses actual fel fire for dat extra smokey taste! Want something a little more fancy? We also have Chez Frostoven, run by our other 7--star chef, Tilly Frostoven! She serves da finest and fanciest dishes, the coldest desserts, and the best aged wine and cheeses all around!
And don't worry about your safety; I've hired da best security in all of Azeroth, so no would-be thieves are gonna break into my super secure vault!
Come to Gallywix's Pleasure Palace! We've got it all! (...Except refunds)
Explanation: This idea is based on Gallywix's actual existing Pleasure Palace, and doing the Hearthstone twist of altering it for the game. Here, Gallywix has turned his base of operations into a luxury casino resort for the wealthy. The cards will be themed around different parts and characters of the resort, as well of the idea of "gambling".
The Classes: Each class will be based on a specific character for that part of the casino. To give some variety, especially since these characters have potential to be hero portaits, I picked new race/class combos not in the game yet to stand out.
Death Knight: Chef Tilly Frostoven. Gnome. Supposely she is claimed to be the personal chef of the Lich King in her previous job. She is a fancy and quite haughty chef, whose specialties are the bloodiest meats (blood), coldest desserts (frost), and most aged cheeses and wines (Unholy). Has a heated rivalry with Geeta Felgrill, whose restaurant is right across from hers. Gambling angle is preparing food without ruining it.
Demon Hunter: Aviss Felstep. Blood Elf. The current champion of the resort's dancing contest. With his incredible footwork and aerial manueveribility, he is a tough contender for anyone seeking the trophy. Gambling angle is not missing a step and scoring in the contest.
Druid: Sieg Moontea. Worgen. The husband of Madam Izu-Mi, he helps his beloved wife run the spa, using animal and plant-based therapies for weary and stressed customers.
Gambling angle is making guests happy.
Hunter: Ra'gor. Troll. Is the head of the animal-based acts. His menagerie of well-trained and beloved pets entertain all with their beauty and intelligence. Gambling angle is entertaining the crowd with the proper tricks.
Mage: Fenn. Night Elf. Aided by his silent vulpera partner, Jeller, the two put on a magnificent magic show. Gambling here is about entertaining the folks without them figuring out their tricks.
Paladin: Kacie Metalflash. Dark Iron Dwarf. The champion of the races. She and her personal ram, Dark Comet, have won more races than any other rider. Gambling here is keeping their place in the race without tiring.
Priest: Sarah Screachsong. Undead. The lead singer of the night club. Despite being dead, her voice still attracts all who hear her sing...even if she also have a deadly wail that can shatter glass and ear drums when she's angry. Gambling is moving the crowd.
Rogue: Flynn Fairewind. Kul Tiran/Human. (The only character here who actually exists in WOW). While coming as a guest, this sneaky rogue has come to loot both the tables and the secrets in Gallywix's vault. The gambling here is outwitting the dealers and navigating the security.
Shaman: Izu-Mi. Pandaren. The head of the Gallywix's Spa, she prides herself on her elementals making the most comfortable conditions for her customers, such as steam for steamrooms, fire for saunas, and water elementals for soaking. She also makes a delicious tea, helped brewed by her beloved husband, Zieg.
Warlock: Greeta Felgrill. Goblin. The head cook of Felgirl Grill. It is said she made certain deals with demons to cook the best food that would bring tons of cash into her wallet. Her more flashy and commerical cooking puts her at ends with rival chef, Frostoven. Gambling is cooking her food without burning it.
Warrior: Kalandu Staffsword. Nightborne. The head of Gallywix's security, he heads all of the muscle to boot out any troublemakers and would-be thieves to his boss's casino. He has combined his people's anti-arcane technology with Gallywix's (bargain bin) goblin tech to keep even mages out. Though that may not be such a reliable idea...
The story here is Flynn Fairewind is on a heist of Gallywix's casino. The other characters will be his partners in the heist, secret security, and/or rivaling treasure hunters.
The term here is "Gamble"; the game does have some random chance in it, but mostly its not really penalizing beyond not getting the cards you want on time. Here, whether you choose to gamble can be a game-changer for you or your opponent.
Gamble is basically a term for an effect (such as battlecry, deathrattle, attack, etc) that has an additional effect if you decide to take the risk. Basically, it will be a coin flip, and you're betting one additional mana and possibility a backlash effect if you fail. This is always optional, but the idea is to add a risk and rewards twist to the game.
Example:
High-roller Pit Boss. Warrior. 5-mana. 5/5. Any excess damage done between this and another monster is directed to the owner of the losing monster. Gamble: When this monster attacked or is attacked, flip a coin. Heads: Double this monster's attack. Tails: Double opposing monster's attack. (Basically, you can choose to make this monster stronger for a chance to cause more damage and possibly destroy a powerful monster, as well as cause excess damage to your opponent. But you also run the risk of making your enemy's monster stronger instead and doing excess damage to you instead)
Boxes of Vanishing: Mage. 3-mana spell. Arcane. Target one of your minions and one of your oponent's minions. Remove both from the game. Gamble. Win: Only your opponent's minion is removed. (Artwork is Fenn and Jeller standing in front of two boxes covered with sheets)
So some gambles will be more powerful and will carry an extra risk beyond spending one more additional mana to use. Also, gambles can never cost 0, so you always put in one (so they can't be cheated somehow)
Not all cards will be gambles though, obviously. Here's one non-gamble I thought of:
Kitten Treatment: Druid. 3-cost spell. Nature. Give all your minions this deathrattle: Summon a level 1 1/1 Kitten. Its keeps all enchantments from this monster except for deathrattles (so basically, you give your minions a deathrattle where they summon kittens that keep all the special buffs and effects you gave the original monsters, such as increased health and attack. Other deathrattles don't count to prevent abuse, such as doing two Kitten Treatments and getting an endless barrage of kittens) (Artwork is a night elf man, pandaren woman, and orc woman in spa robes with multiple cats all around them. The night elf man has two in his arms and smiling, the pandaren woman is petting the one on her lap, and the orc woman is blushing as she struggles to try and pet a sleeping one by her)
Gallywix himself will be a neutral legendary with a powerful effect for gamblers, but also worked so he will not become another Dentharius or Renethal. (In fact, he'll fit the theme while being opposite)
Gallywix, Casino Boss. Neutral. 7-star. 6/8. If this card is in your deck, you can only have 20 cards. As long as this minion is on your field, all gambles will be successful (so basically you have to cut your deck shorter as another gamble, and he only works as long as he's on the field. He gets removed, your gambles go back to normal). (Artwork is Jaster in a blinged out mech suit, wearing sunglasses and furs)
Feel free to comment and add your own ideas!

I went on a road trip vacation in Texas and 'coincidentally' Dead and Co. were playing in Dallas to end the week on a high note. The people of Texas are great, I posted 4 songs recorded that night on YouTube : Uncle John's Band, Touch Of Grey, Jack Straw and Lost Sailor / Saint of Circumstance. The band was on fire as they have been all tour.
"Jack Straw" Dead and Company - May 26 2023 Dallas Texas - The Final Tour - Smokin' opener Set 2 - YouTube
"Uncle John's Band" Dead and Company - May 26 2023 Dallas Texas - The Final Tour - Amazing version - YouTube
"Touch Of Grey" Dead and Company - May 26 2023 Dallas Texas - The Final Tour - YouTube
"Lost Sailor / Saint of Circumstance" Dead and Company - May 26 2023 Dallas Texas - The Final Tour - YouTube

Over the past few weeks I've seen a lot of players from HSR coming over to the various HI3 subreddits and asking various, but generally similar questions. I'm not sure if this has been done before, but I thought I'd make a post with all the information you need to know if you're a HSR player interested in HI3.
There are 3 main reasons I've seen for why HSR players are interested in HI3.

1. You want to learn more about Welt and his past/power.
2. You want to learn about the parallels between the characters in HI3 and HSR(Bronya, Seele, etc)
3. You are interested in HI3, the game itself.

I will provide resources for each of these reasons.

1) You're interested in Welt.

Welt is quite the character. He is the only character(that we've seen in-game so far) in HSR that is directly from HI3. As in, they are the same person. There is a lot to him but you won't find much information about him in HSR. There are 2 main manga which heavily feature Welt:

1. Alien Space (17 Chapters) This manga serves as the bridge between HI3 and HSR, showing why Welt and Void Archives travelled there in the first place. You'll also get to see some of the backstory of HI3's Himeko, and her little adventure with Welt. Even with no knowledge of anything HI3, you should be able to understand this manga fairly well and enjoy it.
2. Second Eruption (66 chapters) This manga features Welt in his prime, during the war between humanity and the Herrscher of the Void during the 2nd Eruption. Welt uses his powers to the best of his ability here, and if you recognize the line "I am Welt of Humanity!...", yeah, that's here. Do note however, this manga will be very difficult to understand without any knowledge of HI3. If you just want to see Welt doing cool stuff, then by all means go ahead and read, but just be prepared to be confused. This is the best HI3 manga in the eyes of most, and also the longest by far, so maybe it might get you interested in HI3's story, for which, you can check the next the section.

There is more to Welt, but this is all you'll get without playing the game.

2) You're interested in the characters/story

If you're interested in what the HSR characters are like in HI3, you'll have to go through HI3's story. But you don't actually have to be playing the game to do so! For the first 6 chapters, you can easily finish them with just the starter characters, and after that, the game will give you trial characters to use for every story chapter. So you can just login whenever you want to do story and not have to worry about actively playing the game.
The story is very highly praised by the community, but it's definitely not easy to get into. In order to get the full experience, you'll have to be jumping between different forms of media, as it is a multimedia story. There are the in-game chapters, several manga, 3 visual novels, anime(yes actual anime), and some amazing YouTube animations. The story is very long, and it will take some effort to go through. But it's definitely worth it. Hoyostans has put together an amazing story guide that you can follow, with everything linked right in the guide so you don't have to be searching for things yourself. Here is the guide
Do note that the early stuff(about the first half of Phase 1 in that guide) is pretty bad in comparison to what comes later, so don't let that discourage you from moving on. The story jumps in quality after chapter 7 and will keep getting better from there. (Ofc, this is an opinion)

3) You're interested in the game

Now if I were to talk about every aspect of the game in detail, this post would be like 10x longer. So I'll try to keep it short(I failed lol) . I will also be making some comparisons to HSR and by extension Genshin(yes yes I know) since this post is mainly targeted towards those players.
Honkai is difficult. As a F2P new player, it will definitely take you a long time to catch up. Powercreep is very present in this game, and characters get replaced fast(within 1 year even). But once your account gets the ball rolling(As in you get 3 teams fairly well built) things get alot easier and you''ll be able to keep up. The endgame starts post level 80, and you will get to level 80 very quickly with the amount of EXP you'll be flooded with. Luckily at level 80 its optional to breakthrough to higher levels and "enter the endgame". So you can remain at level 80 until you feel comfortable with your account to breakthrough.
Team and character building In terms of team building, you don't have much diversity. The teams are pretty much set in stone and there isn't much room for experimentation. "This character only does this and must go on this type of team and is pretty useless elsewhere" is the case for the majority of characters. Of course you can still mix and match but the ideal teams will always be the same. Characters however have alot to them, not just 3 moves. Like, alot. For example, there's a character with 4 different weapons and different movesets for each. (Yatta!).
In terms of character building, unlike Genshin and HSR, we don't technically have 5* gear. Signature gear is actually 4 star. You know the guaranteed 4 star every 10 pulls? You got a pretty good chance of pulling a character's signature gear from that. Unfortunately, every DPS needs their signature weapon. There isn't really any F2P alternatives that can come close to the signature for the majority of DPS, so you'll have to pull it. Supports have some more leeway with weapons but some still require their signature to work.
Artifacts/Relics Unlike Genshin and HSR, we don't have artifacts/relics. We have stigmata(stigma for short). Each character can be slotted with 3 stigma, with 2 piece and 3 piece set bonuses. You have to pull stigma and all signature stigma is 4 star. Therefore on your 10 pull 4* pity, you might either get a stigma or a weapon. Luckily stigma is not as mandatory as weapons, and there is a lot of craftable stigma that can substitute for signature.
Banners There is no 50/50 on character banner. Same 90 hard pity, 75 soft pity. Equipment banners have 5 stigma sets and 5 weapons in the pool, with 1 stigma set and corresponding weapon rate up. Which means your 4* can be 20 different things, and if you only want 1 specific thing, yeah its tough, but there's a chance you might end up fully gearing another character by complete accident because of this. We also usually know the schedule for the next patch and maybe even the following patch, with all the banner details and events, so it's easy to plan your spending.
Events Honkai has events very often, and they are quite fun and sometimes "inspired" from other games. We essentially had a Fall Guys event, a Plants vs Zombies event, a somewhat Pokemon event and others. Event dialogue is usually pretty humorous and light hearted, and are pretty fun to read through.
End Game Activities There is alot to do in endgame.
Superstring Dimension AKA Abyss Every abyss cycle, you get grouped with a certain number of players, and you compete for score on a leaderboard tied to your group. Depending on your placement, you will earn trophies and either move to higher abyss levels, stay where you are, or move down, with different rewards for each level. Therefore Honkai can be said to be a competitive game. Every 3 days we get a new abyss cycle (not as long as Memory of Chaos or Spiral Abyss of course) and hence rewards.
Memorial Arena Every week, there are 3 bosses which players can compete for score on a global leaderboard(tied to your server like NA, SEA etc). This gives you the opportunity to use your various teams every week as each boss has their own weaknesses. Your score determines your rewards(not relative to other people's score) and your ranking affects some rewards as well but that one isn't really much of a deal.
Elysian Realm This is HI3's equivalent of Simulated Universe, with some slightly different mechanics. This technically isn't an endgame activity, but getting higher scores will require you to have good gear. Its a weekly thing with good rewards, and the way characters play in Elysian Realm is fundamentally different from the regular game, since they might get new abilities specific to each character.
Raids Honkai has Co-op. Every week you can team up with 2 other players to go through 6 stages for rewards. To be very honest, Co-op is pretty meh. You'll be able to matchmake with other people easily but alot of people kinda just ignore this.
Oh, and we also have a customizable housing system with Chibi characters, and a global chat where people talk about all kinds of usually crazy stuff(looking at room 1). These are the real endgame activities 👍.
That's the main content besides the dailies, which you can finish with just a few mouse clicks. You will find lots of useful resources in the pinned post on this and the houkai3rd subreddit, so be sure to read through them if you get into the game.
Thank you for reading! I hope this information will be of use to anyone interested in HI3, and if you have any other things you may want to know, please leave a comment.

my first memory was in 2010, when i was 1-2 years old. i was sitting on my dads knee at our imac 2007 which was positioned right outside of the kitchen. my mom was going from couch to kitchen doing something i can’t remember, and my dad had opened youtube and pulled up interstella 5555. he wanted to show me what he listened to in college, and introduce me to his-and my-definition of good music. i was instantly captivated, and glued to the screen. i remember being particularly fascinated by the harder better faster stronger music video, and getting really mad whenever earl de darkwood was on screen. eventually, my dad got tired, underestimating how long the album was, and we stopped watching at veridis quo. he said we would finish the next day, but we never did. that moment permanently imprinted the band and album in my mind. whenever i listen to discovery, i get full body goosebumps.
another memory i have with the band, was watching the technologic music video at 10:00 at night (much past 7 year old me’s bedtime) every friday night, we as a family would go out to dinner, and when we got home, would watch music videos for hours. this eventually stopped when i started middle school. i had friends, and plans, and freedom, and was usually out somewhere, hanging out, and getting dinner with them. this particular night, my mom wasn’t home, so it was just me and dad. my dad was only allowed to watch one daft punk music video, since my mom wasn’t the biggest fan. my dad always played one more time much to her dismay. since she wasn’t there, we watched all the daft punk music videos we wanted, and when we ran out, i suggested we watch technologic. as soon as i saw the little white robot, my blood ran cold. my dad asked me if i was scared, to which i said no, but that thing freaked me to my core. i was so fucking scared of it, that i couldn’t be alone for the next 6 months. i carried this fear inside of me, and never told anyone about it, because i didn’t want to seem weak or childish. whenever i had to traverse my house alone, i carried a giant plush of bomb from angry birds, which my parents threw away one day, which somehow ended my fear streak.
yay, story number 3. when i was little, maybe 4, i was at my grandmas condo. my grandma is a strong chinese woman who immigrated from taiwan to south korea to america 30 years ago. she left her abusive husband, found new love, and raised 2 sons in a foreign country, where she didn’t even speak the language. she was the business owner of a chinese take out restaurant in the slums of atlanta, ga. she was robbed, held at gunpoint, and shot at multiple times, but still persisted. anyway that was completely off topic, i just wanted to talk about how amazing my grandma is. we were in one of the rec rooms of the condo, and i was pretending to be arpegius in the aerodynamic music video, and i was vocalizing the song the best toddler me could. my grandma, in broken english, asked what i was doing. i tried to explain it to her, but it was just too much. i had to first explain daft punk to her, then what an album was, then who arpegius was, and whatever lore 7 year old me could understand, to a old (but wonderful) chinese woman who could barely speak english. eventually i gave up, and just started doodling in a tom and jerry coloring book.

Just starting part 3 of book number 7 and this is it, I am determined to finish it tonight.
I need to know how it all ends! (Or begins? Theres been some hints about renewal i find super suspicious.) Posting as a spoiler just in case im actually right.
Also finding the whole stephen king storyline super meta, and its amusing how critically the characters see king. But then its also sad because they are representations of king and so thats how he must see himself... brain is breaking lol
Love Oy so much, i really hope nothing happens to him. However, I feel like it's all going to end with the entire tet dead except Roland and him at the Dark Tower alone. (But please let Oy survive!)

Welcome back to the Popheads Jukebox! Here are last week’s results:

• Jonas Brothers - Waffle House: 8.33
• Miley Cyrus - Jaded: 7.58
• Janelle Monáe - Lipstick Lover: 7.42
• Remi Wolf - Prescription: 6.92
• Dolly Parton - World on Fire: 3.88

• Monica & Brandy - The Boy Is Mine: 10.00
• Tkay Maidza - Shook: 9.57

Though the Jonas Brothers haven't seemed to make much noise with their most recent comeback, our reviewers at least are enjoying their latest single as it manages to be the top track of hte week. Miley and Janelle get respectable enough scores around 7.50, solid efforts but not their best. Remi Wolf's latest track isn't too far behind, but for poor Dolly it's a terrible week as she scores one of the lowest of the year thus far. We love her but we don't love her new music.
In the throwbacks, it's a great week as we get the 3rd ever perfect score, tying Amy Winehouse and Donna Summer. Tkay Maidza's 2020 banger also does incredibly well and earns itself a spot among the highest catch-up tracks.

Rules Refresher

1. Rate the songs a score from 1 to 10. Please keep it to one decimal place at the most (so 7.5 is fine but 7.58 is not). Also don’t get too hung up on the final scores. This is a fun exercise and not a competition so don’t worry about oveunder rating things. Just give what you think the song is to you.
   
2. For your review, reply to the comment that will be posted by one of us for each song. Avoid posting your reviews as a top level comment cause we probably won’t notice them if you do. Non-reviews such as questions or general commentary as upper level comments are fine.
   
3. Must have some sort of justification. Try to be a bit more concise than “It’s a bop!” or “I don’t like it”. Explain why! It doesn’t have to be long, two or three sentences can be plenty (though more is definitely allowed). We reserve the right not to include a review in the final total if proper justification is not given.
   
4. You don’t have to review each song to participate! You can do all of them or only the ones you’re familiar with.
   
5. The thread will be open for 6 days and close the following Wednesday at 9PM EST. The scores will be calculated and a new post will come up the next day (Thursday) at 5PM EST with the next week’s tracks.
   

This Week’s Tracks

• Bad Bunny - WHERE SHE GOES
• Conan Gray - Never Ending Song
• Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha
• Kylie Minogue - Padam Padam
• Zara Larsson - End of Time

Throwback:

• The Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up

2020/2021 Catch-up:

• MARINA - Venus Fly Trap

—

Next Week

Next week we’ll be rating the following:

• Beyoncé - AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM (feat. Kendrick Lamar)
• Dua Lipa - Dance the Night
• (G)I-DLE - Queencard
• Taylor Swift - Karma (feat. Ice Spice)
• Tove Lo - I like u

Throwback:

• Lorde - Royals

2020/2021 Catch-up:

• Chloe x Halle - Ungodly Hour

Spotify playlist, updated weekly with new tracks that are being rated

Jukebox wiki, where you can find all results

Reminder Discord Server, where you can join to get bi-weekly ping reminders for when new posts go up and when they’re about to close.

Inside the boundless expanse of Loria Online, Guspy the elven mage drained the last of his mana vaporizing a Vickerbite. It was his third hour of grinding this particular mob, and he was getting tired.
“What’s the drop rate on this thing again?” he asked Collins.
Collins cleaved another Vickerbite with his greataxe. “0.02% or something. Getting bored?”
Guspy was indeed getting bored. Despite their grotesque appearance (they looked like flying crocodile heads with mosquito feet), Vickerbites were pushovers.
“Yeah, I might only have a few minutes’ more patience for this.”
Collins slammed his axe into the ground, causing a shockwave that killed another three. “That’s ok, we’ve been playing for a while. It just kind of feels like wasted time if we quit now, though.”
“Are you getting close to leveling?”
“Nope.”
“Me neither.”
A Vickerbite burst when he swatted it with his staff. A loot bag dropped onto the rust colored dirt.
Probably another Vicker Tongue or leg or something, Guspy thought. He almost didn’t bother to check. But when he did, he found what he and Collins had been seeking for so long.
“I got it! The belt dropped!”
“Thank God, let’s get out of here,” Collins said, regrouping with the mage he protected.
Guspy read the item description for The Belt of Endurance.
The Belt of Endurance Slot: Belt Rarity: Very Rare Earth Resistance: %%0 Air Resistance: %%0 Fire Resistance: %%0 Water Resistance: %%0 Physical Resistance: %%0 Magic Resistance: %%0 Debuff Resistance: %%0
“What the hell?” Guspy said.
“What’s wrong? Is it the wrong belt?” Collins casually swatted two final Vickerbites.
“The stats are glitched or something. It’s supposed to be 5% resistance to everything, right?”
“The BoE? Yeah, 5% resist all. Is it not?”
“It shows ‘percent percent zero’.”
Collins shrugged. “Put it on, see what happens.”
Guspy equipped the belt and checked his character’s stats. “Ha, that’s so weird. All of my resistances show backslash, open parenthesis, ‘N’, close parenthesis.”
Collins used the Warrior’s Assessment ability on Guspy. “Huh. When I analyze you, I see hashtag ‘null’.”
“That’s either really good or really bad,” said Guspy.
Collins raised his sword and struck Guspy on the shoulder.
Collins attacks you for 0 damage
“There are safer ways to check!” Guspy said.
“It didn’t hurt you, weird. Mind if I use a little Fire Fan scroll on you?” Collins asked with a toothy grin.
“You have one? Aren’t you a little over leveled for that?” Fire Fan produced a tiny cone of flame that did very little damage.
“I’m a hoarder. So, can I?” Collins wiggled the scroll between his fingers.
Guspy agreed.
Collins casts Fire Fan for 0 fire damage
“Guspy, I don’t want to alarm you, but I think that belt makes you invincible,” said Collins.
Guspy began to bounce up and down in excitement. “Oh man, think of the possibilities! I can solo raid a guild hall. The Nighthawks deserve that kind of ass whupping,” he said, referring their rival guild in Loria. “Or I can loot an end-game dungeon! We’re not far from The Death Pit.”
Collins looked into Guspy’s eyes and gave him the smile a parent gives a child when they ask where rainbows end.
“Oh, you asshole!” said Guspy.
“I think you should turn it in,” said Collins.
“Why?! Why would I do that?! The Nighthawks have been bullying us for months now. With this, I could walk right in their guild hall, wipe them out, and tear the whole thing down. They wouldn’t be able to stop me! You can’t tell me they don’t deserve it.”
“Not saying they don’t,” said Collins.
Guspy pressed, “I can farm The Death Pit for Soulflayers. Everyone in our guild could have a Soulflayer, even the newbies. They’d finally be tough enough to join us on raids. You know how they’ve been dying to play with us in high level zones. Think how happy they would be!”
“Oh, they’d be awfully happy,” said Collins.
Guspy unleashed his coup de grace. “And! I can go to Fort Murder, stroll through it without a care in the world, kill the general, and not have to split the loot with anyone. That means I would get a Headsman’s Axe, which I would of course donate to my dear friend Collins. Wouldn’t you like a Headsman’s Axe?”
“I absolutely would,” said Collins.
“Ok, good. So, I’ll just—"
“Turn it in, Guspy,” said Collins.
Guspy stamped his feet in frustration. “Why though? You just said you were on board with the Nighthawks and the Soulflayer and the axe!”
“Oh, I am. The Nighthawks need to get taught. Having the newbies be tough enough to join us would be great. I’ve been dying for a Headsman for months now. But you’d be cheating. Momma didn’t raise no cheater, and daddy didn’t raise no troll,” said Collins.
“That’s so backward. You know the Nighthawks would do that to us if they got it,” said Guspy.
“Sure enough. But we can’t control what they do, and I can’t control what you do. I just want you to remember what I’ve said before: there’s a person on the other end of that character. A person just like you. I can only imagine how tilted you’d get if someone cheated to become invincible and killed you. Or farmed their whole guild ultra-rares and used them on you. I’m just asking you, as a friend, to turn it in. Please.”
Guilt. He’s put the guilt in me, thought Guspy. What an asshole.
“Fine, I’ll head to Pokate and turn it in,” said Guspy, pouting and kicking an errant stone.
“Thanks, Gusp. I promise I’ll help you find a legit one. I gotta go, though. Play later?”
“You know it,” said Guspy, and he watched Collin’s avatar dissipate.
Guspy walked back to Pokate City, the largest player hub in the area. The journey was a particularly hazardous one. Wild beast attacks, an assassin, a rockslide, even an errant fireball from an ongoing battle, all harmless in the face of his perfect resistance. He crossed into the city proper, whitewashed buildings that held little shops and extra dimensional guildhalls. Pokate Palace loomed over all of this like a resplendent sundial. The stained-glass windows shimmered in the sunlight.
Guspy approached a beggar in the street. The beggar’s body was gaunt. His dirty rags and matted beard spoke of hungry days and cruel nights. The beggars of Loria Online were portals to moderator attention. Speaking to a beggar cued a request. A moderator would eventually take control of the beggar and offer assistance.
Guspy knelt before the beggar.
“I’d like to speak with a moderator, please.”
“All in good time, my boy,” the beggar wheezed.
Guspy felt an itch in his legs. There was still time to run wild, to reap the rewards of his lottery ticket. He cursed Collins for guilting him and attempted to distract himself. Guspy admired the features on the beggar. His eyes traced cavernous wrinkled flesh. Saw the tiny movements of lice in the filthy thick beard. Saw the faintest deposits of salt in two long tracks leading down from the cloudy blue eyes.
The beggar had been crying. Why would they include such a heartbreaking detail? Why haven’t I ever noticed this before? Guspy thought.
The clouds in the beggar’s eyes parted, revealing a bright blue sky. “Thank you for waiting, this is Raymond. How can I help you?” A voice as crisp as autumn wind now spoke through the beggar.
“Uhh, hi. I’ve got a problem with an item I found?” Guspy spoke at the mouth of the beggar.
“Sure thing! Is it an item you have equipped right now?”
“Yeah, The Belt of Endurance. The values look wonky, and It makes me immune to every element. I’m immune to physical and magic damage now too.”
There was a long pause, the beggar’s eye fluttered. “You’re reporting that an item is broken in your favor?”
Guspy winced. “Umm, yes sir? It basically makes me immortal.”
Guspy waited patiently. The moderator was using his tools to see Guspy’s menu screens, something that was normally private.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” the beggar said. “It’s a null shunt error.”
“A null shunt error?”
“Yeah. Sometimes during a drop-roll, the system shunts over a clipped value that…sometimes it breaks.”
“Ah.”
“They’re a bitch to fix. Thankfully very rare. This one is particularly bad, and I’m at the end of my shift.” The mod let out a sigh that prophesized an exhausting tedious future.
“Well…thank you for your honesty! Usually when an item glitches in a player’s favor, they keep it a secret for as long as they can. Then they have a temper tantrum when we take it away. Alright, Guspy, I’m on morning shift tomorrow. I don’t want to deal with this right now. I’m giving you eight hours of god mode. Can I trust you not to make me regret it?”
Guspy was stunned. A mod was allowing immortality for eight hours? Trusting him? Why?
“You can trust me,” Guspy said.
“I hope so. I’ll fix this in the morning, don’t take the belt off or you’ll have negative infinite resistance and die from a sunburn.” The beggar’s eyes clouded back over.
Guspy threw a gold piece into the beggar’s bowl, a good luck ritual that even the highest level raiders did before a dangerous run.
He was in the clear. A mod had okayed him having god mode. Anything I do is the mod’s fault now! Guspy thought, but the thought gave him a queasy feeling the moment it passed through his mind. He was being trusted. He had promised to not make the mod regret it.
What was the mod’s name? Randy? He remembered Collins's words about there being real people on the other end of the game. He supposed that meant Randy too. He imagined telling someone to their face that his actions were their fault, like trust somehow absolved him of responsibility. He imagined someone else doing that to him. Or doing that to his little sister…
He spent a fair amount of gold on fast travel scrolls, valuable, single-use items that would transport the player anywhere in Loria. Guspy now stood on the craggy lip of Salamander’s Eye. The massive active volcano dominated the primordial jungle landscape. A vast column of ebony smoke rose from the lava pit, the birthplace of thunderclouds. Guspy spread his arms wide and fell into the heat, letting simulated gravity carry him downward to the roiling floor of liquid earth.
At the last moment he reflexively raised his hands to shield himself. Lava was instant death in Loria, doing an infinite amount of damage per second. Guspy was now sinking slowly in this most dangerous of elements unharmed. He raised his hand in a thumbs up as he sank beneath the surface.
Whorls of incandescent crimson, brown, and orange materialized and dispersed endlessly. It was like looking into the fickle furnace of creation, so eager to invent but too chaotic to design.
Guspy wondered if he’d fall forever. At last, his feet settled on something solid. He was the first player to set foot here. A unique accomplishment, one he could keep. He moved through the lava as though it was water. Must not have been a very important thing to program considering you die as soon as you touch it, he thought.
Guspy explored the floor of the volcano. It was perfectly smooth and without texture, an entire volcano held up on a pane of glass. But then he found something. A deformity in the bottom of the world. He explored it with his hand. It felt like a solid bubble sticking up out of the flat plane beneath him. It moved a little.
It’s a doorknob! Guspy realized. He turned it and felt it fall away beneath him. He sank further and dropped into a vast open room, the lava didn’t follow past the entry. Guspy cast a series of Light spells, banishing the darkness to the black obsidian of the walls and floor.
A giant floating sign that hung suspended in midair grabbed Guspy’s attention.
“IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO GET HERE.”
“Shows what you know, sign,” Guspy said, and began to explore.
In the secret chamber Guspy found dozens of monster models from the surrounding area, frozen in the sterile T-position. He took the time inspect them in the minutest detail. He saw the way salamander skin glittered with the luster of countless ruby gemstones. He watched the dancing flames of fire elementals, and discovered their heat rose above the limitation of their hitbox. He looked deep into the eyes of a stone golem and saw that they were prisms. They split the blue glow of the golem’s magical core into a frigid winter sunset, whites and blues dancing and concealing a secret whisper of deep red.
I don’t think I ever really looked at the models before, he thought. Even now he couldn’t recall any specific details of any monster he had fought. They were all colored blurs in his mind, faceless values and blocks of information.
Despite his immortality, he still froze in fear when his spell illuminated a colossus of steel tucked away in a corner of the room. It was a broad suit of cold iron armor, bereft of adornment and pockmarked with the careless ministrations of a thousand hammers beating the metal into shape. In one clenched fist it carried a wicked looking cleaver, one that belonged in a giant’s butcher shop, used to crack the toughest dragon bones and partition the choicest bits.
Guspy had never seen or heard of this creature in his life.
You must not have made it into the final game. At least not yet, thought Guspy. Despite its beastly ugliness, Guspy felt a pang of remorse. Someone worked to design every aspect of this monstrosity to evoke the feelings of fear and disgust, and they had been very successful. But it had gone unused and unseen since the game’s inception.
I remember the Christmas ornament I made in middle school. A Christmas light made to look like a reindeer, googly eyes and fuzzy brown pipe cleaners for antlers. I was so proud. But when Christmas came, they didn’t want to put it on the tree. They thought it looked too silly.
Guspy left a gold coin at its feet, alms for unsung effort.
He was preparing to depart when he noticed an unadorned chest had appeared beneath the presumptive sign. Guspy was certain it hadn’t been there before. He approached, circling the chest, before reaching out and lightly tapping it. He may invulnerable, but this was a developer’s world. Who knows what treachery could hide here? He lifted the lid, tilting his head and peeking at its contents with one eye shut. Inside was a billiard sized ball of translucent glass. Guspy recognized a Title Sphere. These rare items would grant a moniker to the character’s name. It was a single use item worth tens of thousands of gold. Too curious to resist learning what it would bestow, he shattered the sphere in his palm. Red dust flowed between his fingers like Martian sand. His name had changed from Guspy to Guspy the Wanderer.
Guspy used his next scroll and teleported to the shipwreck of the Soothsayers Doom. A brig suspended above the ocean on a monstrous coral bed, the ship itself was a mid-level dungeon. Players could fight their way from deck to deck, battling undead crewmen that fired grapeshot salvos into crowded rooms, shredding players into bloody clouds. The Captain was the boss of the dungeon, and part of his loot was a map that would send players on a quest line that eventually led players to the halls of the merfolk king, an extremely high-level dungeon at the bottom of the ocean.
Being immortal, Guspy took what players called the ‘express route’, swimming directly downward from the open sea. It was suicide. Besides suffocation, players had to contend with titanic carcharodons, giant squid, invisible water elementals, and elite merfolk guard. These creatures had mastery of the terrain, and few players were accustomed to attacks that could come from any direction.
Beneath him, the phosphorescent glow of the Coral Castle overpowered the distant sun for dominion of the depths. Guspy slipped into a castle window, ignoring the tridents of the pursuing Knights of Pearl. The Castle was a dungeon that needed to be completed quickly, lest the player’s water breathing magic wear off. That made it the perfect sight-seeing location for someone who didn’t need to breathe. Guspy examined the meticulously decorated royal bedrooms. The books in Loria were filled with open source stories from the real world. Players spent hours in this fantasy world engrossed in the prose of Tom Sawyer and Paradise Lost. But yellowed letters fell from between the pages like autumn leaves.
Never whole without you, my beloved Jennifer,
B.C.
Guspy didn’t know the merfolk princess even had a name. Neither had he any idea who B.C was, or if these pages were part of some fetch quest he had never come across.
Deeper in the palace he found the throne room of the merfolk king. The king was gigantic, of course, all raid bosses were. The king was also an enemy that demanded constant focus and attention to defeat. He cycled seamlessly through attack patterns, buffs, and stage activations. Missing the tell-tale signs would leave you a step behind the dance and doomed to failure.
Guspy now had a unique opportunity. He ignored the king completely. The throne room was heaped with chests of gold and artifacts plundered from sunken ships. But they were only decorative, ersatz décor designed to regale the room with the trappings of wealth and luxury. Being worthless, players ignored them. Guspy took the time to closely inspect the mountains of coins and bejeweled quillions that rose from the coin piles. Ignoring the world-shaking bolts of lightning, magical rays, and great sweeps of the merfolk king’s trident, he crouched to the level of a single coin.
There, in the face of the coin, were three smiling children. The normal relief of Empress Aubrianna, a mythical figure in Origin’s history, was replaced with a picture of a family. The normal Latin phrase, “A solis ortu usque ad occasum”, had been replaced with, “Jason, Melody, Brock”. He moved from one coin to the next. Families, pets, and selfies looked back at him. Some had names written, others messages, “Thx Mel, my rock <3” “Joe & Cara 4 eva” “We did it!”
Guspy wondered if any player had ever seen these. Maybe, but he hadn’t, and that made it special to him. He wondered what he would put on his own coin. Me, Collins, and Becca at the beach, he thought. A picture that had been his desktop background for years. The only evidence of a perfect day.
Having taken his fill of the throne room, Guspy pulled out another scroll and teleported away.
Hogglerock dungeon was an aberration. Most dungeons tried to evoke a sense of awe or fear, but Hogglerock was just gross. Its entrance was at the center of a mud-smothered swamp. Poisonous insects and carnivorous slugs roamed the wastes searching for carrion to strip or making their own if none could be found.
To descend into the putrid depths of Hogglerock, you entered the mouth of a great saurian beast. It was long since dead, its flesh in a perpetual state of decay. Down its mucus-caked throat, you entered a dungeon that had been created from the offal that remained of its digestive system. Noxious acid pools, monstrous parasites, and bloated scavengers challenged players that came to plunder the carcass.
Guspy had to stop and think before entering the sixth stomach of the beast. He had no idea if his plan would work, or even made sense. Guspy removed all his armor and weapons, save for the Belt of Endurance. He entered the dungeon’s final room, aggroing a great bipedal minotaur and its bovine kin. Guspy sat and crossed his legs. He closed his eyes and focused on slowing his breath and his heart. Aggro in Loria was based on a series of factors: proximity, source of damage or debuff, equipment levels, class, movement, and supposedly even biometric data the VR rig was able to obtain.
The monsters were instantly aggroed when the rubbery sphincter of the sixth stomach was touched, converging on their only target. Guspy’s lack of equipment, aggression, and stillness would reduce his aggro over time. He waited and he watched. In time the monsters lost interest, ceasing their attacks and wandering back to their starting positions. Guspy continued to watch. For a time, they only bobbed in place, replaying idle animations and howling blistering war cries. But, in time, Guspy saw a strange behavior begin. One smaller minotaur creature pulled out a hunk of meat, clutching it by the pure white protruding bone. It chomped a piece and munched in contentment, eyes closed in blissful indulgence. The giant boss minotaur began to sniff the air, and a game of keep away began. The smaller minotaurs tossed the meat between themselves as the boss zeroed in on the source of the smell.
Who is this for? wondered Guspy. Who was meant to see this? And how? Why hide it? How many monsters of Loria Online had these little secrets? Tiny moments of humor buried in terabytes of code, only visible in a state of extreme passivity. Once the capering script had completed, the bovines returned to their normal places and continued to cycle basic idle motions.
It’s for me. Since I’m the one watching it, that means it’s for me, thought Guspy.
Guspy pulled out his final scroll, completing the spell just before he was beset again.
Guspy the Wanderer appeared back in Pokate City. His new title drew lingering looks from other players who searched their memories. Guspy’s time was running low, and fatigue massaged his mind and eyes. There was more he could search for. He could run down the hours until the mod logged back on and set things to rights. But he didn’t want the last moments of such an enlightening day to be a race against the clock. It would spoil the sense of calm and contemplation he had cultivated. Instead he sat down next to a beggar and composed a message to Collins.
“I won’t be joining you today, Collins, but I’ve got so much to tell you about when I do.”
He had seen beyond the veil. He witnessed tiny miracles of creation hidden from mortal sight. Sparks of love that flickered once more when observed. For a precious few hours, he was blessed with a peace that allowed him to fall in love with the game all over again, to appreciate its creation like a benevolent god.
Collins and Guspy returned to the red rock canyon. Guspy admired the visible strata of the walls. Simulated eons left perfect layers of color stacked like the pages of a book. Little details, so insignificant yet so engrossing. He appreciated the work that went into this game. The efforts of artists always caught his notice.

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• Knights of Pen and Paper 2
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Digital Art Book
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Soundtrack
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Epic Mount
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - DDE Location
  
• paradox dummy app sub/99331
  

ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove
1993 Space Machine
911 Operator
Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack

• X-Morph: Defense
  
• X-Morph: Defense - Soundtrack
  
• X-Morph: Defense - European Assault
  
• X-Morph: Defense - Survival Of The Fittest
  
• X-Morph: Defense - Last Bastion
  

Golf With Your Friends - OST
Chroma Squad
Click and Slay
Marooners
Guts and Glory
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Valhalla Hills
Jagged Alliance 2 - Wildfire
Blackguards
Broken Age
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Hiveswap Friendsim
Beholder
Monaco
Soulblight
Telefrag VR
Ruins to Rumble
AI War: Fleet Command
Last Resort Island
Draw Slasher
Boreal Blade
Crash Drive 2
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Drawful 2
Orbital Racer
Oh My Gore!
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Patrician IV: Steam Special Edition
GameGuru Classic
Slinger VR
TRAUMA
Earth 2160
GOG
Wanderlust Travel Stories

cryptid's Tradable https://barter.vg72d3/t/?filter=0,9,0
1685652476 (Unix timestamp)
Steam
DEATH STRANDING
Praey for the Gods
Monster Hunter: World
Syberia - The World Before
Devil May Cry 5
Deep Rock Galactic
Orcs Must Die! 3
DOOM Eternal
Devil May Cry HD Collection
DEATHLOOP
Superliminal
Sable
GreedFall
River City Girls
Mafia: Definitive Edition
Baba Is You
Planet Zoo
Ion Fury
Ghostrunner
Gang Beasts
Wasteland 3
Besiege
Desperados III
Destroy All Humans!
Creaks
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
DUSK
HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™
SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated
Ghost of a Tale
Sunset Overdrive
AMID EVIL
House Flipper
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
The Last Campfire
Batora: Lost Haven
We Were Here Together
INMOST
Metro Exodus
Starbound
DARQ
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning
Necromunda: Hired Gun
Fallout 76
The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos
Monster Sanctuary
Monument Valley
The Surge 2
Project Wingman
Dread Templar
Pumpkin Jack
Hedon Bloodrite
Monument Valley 2
Vagante
Second Extinction™
ECHO
The Long Dark
Surviving the Aftermath
Phoenix Point
The Falconeer
LIBERATED
Tribes of Midgard
Wingspan
Eldest Souls
Sonic Mania
Project Winter
DIRT 5
The Survivalists
Othercide
Carto
Intravenous
Heat Signature
The Henry Stickmin Collection
Descenders
ScourgeBringer
Miscreated
Monster Train
We Need To Go Deeper
Forgive Me Father
Shady Part of Me
UnMetal
DESYNC
Aragami
Timelie
Shortest Trip to Earth
People Playground
Black Book
Cube Escape Collection
Raji: An Ancient Epic
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
TOEM
Yes, Your Grace
Them's Fightin' Herds
Encased
Disciples: Liberation
Partisans 1941
Styx: Shards of Darkness
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Wizard of Legend
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun - Aiko's Choice
Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition

• Borderlands 3
  
• Borderlands 3: Season Pass
  
• Borderlands 3: Toy Box Weapons Pack
  
• Borderlands 3: Gearbox Cosmetic Pack
  
• Borderlands 3: Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot
  
• Borderlands 3: Retro Cosmetic Pack
  
• Borderlands 3: Neon Cosmetic Pack
  
• Borderlands 3: Guns, Love, and Tentacles
  
• Borderlands 3: Digital Deluxe Extras
  
• Borderlands 3: Butt Stallion Pack
  
• Borderlands 3: Booster Pack
  

Kingdom Two Crowns
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Drake Hollow
Street Fighter V
FTL: Faster Than Light
Hellbound
Maid of Sker
Blacksad
WRATH: Aeon of Ruin
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Secret Neighbor
DmC Devil May Cry
Chicken Police
The Darkside Detective
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
Greak: Memories of Azur
BioShock: The Collection

• BioShock 2
  
• BioShock
  
• BioShock Infinite
  
• BioShock Infinite: Clash in the Clouds
  
• BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea - Episode 1
  
• BioShock Infinite - Season Pass
  
• BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea - Episode 2
  
• BioShock 2: Minerva’s Den
  
• Bioshock Infinite: Columbia's Finest
  
• BioShock 2 Remastered
  
• BioShock Remastered
  
• Minerva's Den Remastered
  
• Bioshock 2 Pre-order
  
• BioShock Infinite - Upgrade Pack
  
• BioShock Infinite - Comstock's China Broom Shotgun
  
• BioShock Infinite - Comstock's Bird's Eye Sniper Rifle
  
• BioShock Infinite - Industrial Revolution Rewards Pack
  
• Bioshock Infinite - Industrial Revolution
  
• BioShock Infinite - OSX CE Upgrade Pack
  
• BioShock Infinite - OSX Industrial Revolution
  
• BioShock Infinite - OSX China Broom
  
• BioShock Infinite - OSX Birds Eye
  
• BioShock Infinite - OSX Season Pass
  

Just Cause 4 Complete Edition

• Just Cause 4
  
• Just Cause 4: Digital Deluxe Content
  
• Just Cause 4: Golden Gear Pack
  
• Just Cause 4: Expansion Pass
  
• Just Cause™ 4: Deathstalker Scorpion Pack
  
• Just Cause 4: Renegade Pack
  
• Just Cause 4: Neon Racer Pack
  
• Just Cause 4: The Dragon
  
• Just Cause 4: Dare Devils of Destruction
  
• Just Cause 4: Los Demonios
  
• Just Cause 4: Toy Vehicle Pack
  
• Just Cause 4: Soaring Speed Vehicle Pack
  
• Just Cause 4: Adversary Vehicle Pack
  
• Just Cause 4: Danger Rising
  
• Just Cause 4: Sea Dogs Vehicle Pack
  
• Just Cause 4 : Shark & Bark Vehicle Pack
  
• Just Cause 4: Brawler Mech
  

Finding Paradise
Ultra Street Fighter IV
Duskers
Red Solstice 2: Survivors
Minoria
Roboquest
Sunless Sea
Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl
NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
Resident Evil Revelations
Call of the Sea
Blade Assault
I Am Fish
Nobodies
If Found
ATOM RPG Trudograd
PLANET ALPHA
Crown Trick
Raw Data
Pathway
SUPERHOT
Hammerting
OlliOlli World Rad Edition

• OlliOlli World
  
• OlliOlli World "Close Encounter Skate Deck"
  
• OlliOlli World Expansion Pass
  
• OlliOlli World: VOID Riders
  
• OlliOlli World: Finding the Flowzone
  

Project Warlock
Hokko Life
Save Room - Organization Puzzle
In Sound Mind
Paradise Killer
Police Stories
HITMAN: Game of the Year Edition

• HITMAN
  
• HITMAN: Episode 2 - Sapienza
  
• HITMAN: Episode 3 - Marrakesh
  
• HITMAN: Episode 4 - Bangkok
  
• HITMAN: Episode 5 - Colorado
  
• HITMAN: Episode 6 - Hokkaido
  
• HITMAN - Bonus Episode
  
• HITMAN: Episode 1 - Paris
  
• HITMAN - GOTY Suit Pack
  
• HITMAN - Bonus Campaign Patient Zero
  
• HITMAN - GOTY Clown Suit
  
• HITMAN - GOTY Raven Suit
  
• HITMAN - GOTY Cowboy Suit
  

Omno
Killsquad
Astronarch
The Serpent Rogue
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION

• XCOM: Enemy Unknown
  
• XCOM: Enemy Within
  
• XCOM: Enemy Unknown Elite Soldier Pack
  
• XCOM: Enemy Unknown: Slingshot DLC
  
• XCOM 2
  
• XCOM 2: Reinforcement Pack
  
• XCOM 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
  
• XCOM 2: Anarchy's Children
  
• XCOM 2: Alien Hunters
  
• XCOM 2: Shen's Last Gift
  
• XCOM 2: War of the Chosen
  
• X-Com: Enemy Unknown Pre-Purchase
  
• Elite Soldier Pack
  
• XCOM 2 Development Tools
  
• XCOM 2 War of the Chosen Development Tools
  
• XCOM 2: War of the Chosen - Tactical Legacy Pack
  
• XCOM: Chimera Squad
  
• XCOM: Chimera Squad Development Tools
  

Legend of Keepers
Torchlight II
Due Process
Suzerain
Necronator: Dead Wrong
Before We Leave
Not Tonight
First Class Trouble
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
Shu
Everhood
Rebel Cops
Railroad Corporation
Bee Simulator
Hob
Tools Up!
Mind Scanners
Lacuna
CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
Beyond The Wire
Sundered: Eldritch Edition
John Wick Hex
PGA TOUR 2K21
Lumini
Nebuchadnezzar
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Backbone
RAD
Orcs Must Die! 2
Voidigo
As Far As The Eye
Pawnbarian
Truberbrook
Black Future '88
Supraland
Ittle Dew
Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition Pirates of the Sword Coast
Five Dates
Undead Horde
X Rebirth
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
Conan Chop Chop
ELDERBORN
Farmer's Dynasty
Nowhere Prophet
Boundless
Orcs Must Die 2 - Complete Pack

• Orcs Must Die! 2
  
• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Are We There Yeti?
  
• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Family Ties Booster Pack
  
• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Fire and Water Booster Pack
  

Kill It With Fire
TOHU
Nex Machina
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE
AI War 2
8Doors: Arum's Afterlife Adventure
Embr
Tooth and Tail
Hello Neighbor: Hide and Seek
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe DLC
Electronauts
Ring of Pain
Post Void
Blue Fire
In Other Waters
At Eve's Wake
Cosmonautica
Hoplegs
Super Magbot
shapez
Tower of Time
Retrowave
ADOM (Ancient Domains Of Mystery)
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Battlewake
The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR
Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons
Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden - Fan Edition
Pizza Connection 3
Sprint Vector
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Tyranny - Deluxe Edition

• Tyranny
  
• Tyranny - Overlord Edition Upgrade Pack
  
• Tyranny - Official Soundtrack Deluxe Edition
  
• Tyranny - Ringtones
  
• Tyranny - Wallpapers
  
• Tyranny - Digital Collector's Guide Book
  
• Tyranny - Original Soundtrack
  
• Tyranny - Digital Art Book
  
• Tyranny - Digital Short Story Collection
  
• Tyranny - Faction Banners
  
• Tyranny - Digital Game Map
  
• paradox dummy app sub/133812
  

Cannibal Cuisine
Nimbatus - The Space Drone Constructor
Railway Empire
Midnight Protocol
Tales of the Tiny Planet
Emily is Away <3
The Doctor Who Cloned Me
The Lovable Rogues Pack
Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Rustler
Unexplored
Hard Reset Redux
Shing!
Neon Chrome
FRAMED Collection
EarthX
Paradise Lost
Duke Nukem Forever
Duke Nukem Forever: Hail to the Icons Parody Pack
Epic Chef
Out of Space
Syberia 3
Surviving Mars
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
CivCity: Rome
Baby Dino Adventures
XCOM 2: Reinforcement Pack
Hero Defense
WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS - Ultimate Brawlers Pass
TaniNani
West of Dead
Möbius Front '83
Calico
Tacoma
The Way
112 Operator
This War of Mine
Lust for Darkness
shapez - Puzzle DLC
WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS
F1 2018
Evoland Legendary Edition
Aviary Attorney
Treasure Temples
Journey For Elysium
Levelhead
Golf Gang
The Walking Dead Onslaught Deluxe Edition

• The Walking Dead Onslaught
  
• The Walking Dead Onslaught - OST
  
• The Walking Dead Onslaught - Art Book
  
• The Walking Dead Onslaught - Deluxe Bonuses
  

Army Men RTS
BATTLETECH - Shadow Hawk Pack
State of Mind
Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
Explosionade
Deadly Days
Fling to the Finish
GRIP: Combat Racing
Desolate
ibb & obb - Best Friends Forever Double Pack

• ibb & obb

Radio Commander
XCOM 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Evan's Remains
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Effie
Paw Paw Paw
Iron Danger
The Amazing American Circus
GARAGE: Bad Trip
Railroad Tycoon 2: Platinum
AWAKE - Definitive Edition
Swag and Sorcery
Popup Dungeon
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!!
Between the Stars
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Amnesia Collection

• Amnesia: The Dark Descent
  
• Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
  

Tropico 4 Collector's Bundle

• Tropico 4
  
• Tropico 4: Modern Times
  
• Tropico 4: Apocalypse
  
• Tropico 4: Propaganda
  
• Tropico 4: The Academy
  
• Tropico 4 DLC Junta
  
• Tropico 4: Megalopolis
  
• Tropico 4: Pirate Heaven
  
• Tropico 4 Plantador DLC
  
• Tropico 4 DLC Quick-Dry-Cement
  
• Tropico 4: Vigilante
  
• Tropico 4: Voodoo
  

Sid Meier's Railroads!
Star Vikings Forever
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition with An Automaton with a plan DLC

• Syberia 3
  
• Syberia 3 - Deluxe Upgrade
  
• Syberia 3 - An Automaton with a plan
  

Fury Unleashed
Moon Hunters
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Torchlight
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Fallout
GemCraft - Chasing Shadows
Layers of Fear (2016)
Cygon Customisation Pack
Corridor Z
Family Man
Yoku's Island Express
Guppy
WARSAW
Crying Suns
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Railroad Tycoon 3
Vintek Customisation Pack
Terra Customisation Pack
Retimed
Divekick
X-COM: Complete Pack

• X-COM: UFO Defense
  
• X-COM: Apocalypse
  
• X-COM: Enforcer
  
• X-COM: Interceptor
  
• X-COM: Terror from the Deep
  

Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Deluxiest Edition

• Knights of Pen and Paper 2
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Digital Art Book
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Soundtrack
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Epic Mount
  
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - DDE Location
  
• paradox dummy app sub/99331
  

ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove
1993 Space Machine
911 Operator
Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack

• X-Morph: Defense
  
• X-Morph: Defense - Soundtrack
  
• X-Morph: Defense - European Assault
  
• X-Morph: Defense - Survival Of The Fittest
  
• X-Morph: Defense - Last Bastion
  

Golf With Your Friends - OST
Chroma Squad
Click and Slay
Marooners
Guts and Glory
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Valhalla Hills
Jagged Alliance 2 - Wildfire
Blackguards
Broken Age
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Hiveswap Friendsim
Beholder
Monaco
Soulblight
Telefrag VR
Ruins to Rumble
AI War: Fleet Command
Last Resort Island
Draw Slasher
Boreal Blade
Crash Drive 2
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Drawful 2
Orbital Racer
Oh My Gore!
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Patrician IV: Steam Special Edition
GameGuru Classic
Slinger VR
TRAUMA
Earth 2160
GOG
Wanderlust Travel Stories

Jackal was an assistant of High Evolutionary who was inspired by Nathaniel Essex aka Mister Sinister.
Jackal has failed many times to create perfect, stable clones. His best clone has complicated history and was screwed by Marvel several times.
OG Essex created 4 perfect clones in his basement in the end of 19th century and all of them eventually became really successful and are alive now.

I went on a road trip vacation in Texas and 'coincidentally' Dead and Co. were playing in Dallas to end the week on a high note. The people of Texas are great, I posted 4 songs recorded that night on YouTube : Uncle John's Band, Touch Of Grey, Jack Straw and Lost Sailor / Saint of Circumstance. The band was on fire as they have been all tour.
"Jack Straw" Dead and Company - May 26 2023 Dallas Texas - The Final Tour - Smokin' opener Set 2 - YouTube
"Uncle John's Band" Dead and Company - May 26 2023 Dallas Texas - The Final Tour - Amazing version - YouTube
"Lost Sailor / Saint of Circumstance" Dead and Company - May 26 2023 Dallas Texas - The Final Tour - YouTube
"Touch Of Grey" Dead and Company - May 26 2023 Dallas Texas - The Final Tour - YouTube