I am so fucking down terrible, down horrendous, down abyssal, down chaotic, down to fucking hell and back for Yoru. Everyday I check 100 times just to see if a single new Yoru fanart has been posted. The moment I see those elegant ringed eyes and her beautiful black hair I feel like my heart would rip my ribcage open. I would jump into a industrial paper shredder so that there's a chance that my body is recycled into toilet paper that she might use, and if she use a bidet instead of toilet paper. I would dissolve myself in acid near her house. Hope some of my melted self gets in the water pipe. I even would drag my face through a mile of broken glass and nail just to have the chance to hear she laugh through a walkie talkie. I even had a dream where I was on my death bed and Yoru was comforting me she patted me after she finished her speech about why I am important to her.

Got a question about bats and rabies. I do have a fear of bats and rabies from childhood. Was walking through a parking lot with my son left hand holding phone on speaker other hand was holding my sons hand. While walking to the door I felt a ache or pain kinda of feeling less then a pinch was enough for me to look down but not freak or anything like ouch, looked down saw nothing my son is only 2 but would of thought if something hit me near him and fell he would say something I didn’t hear a bat didn’t see one , didn’t feel anything you know run into my arm of size It was a small area where I felt it, My son is 2 didn’t freak out as it was close to his head by my wrist lower to his level. Didn’t see any blood or anything once inside but since I’m a bit scared of bats and rabies I’m just looking at my arm searching and finding two dots freaking out. Is this something obviously talk with my counselor but first of all considered a bat exposure ? If I did not see a bat, hear a bat , didn’t feel like Something hit me except for the small area I felt something.

Long time lurker, first time poster! After typing this out for a different sub I thought, wow I mentioned MIL TOOOO many times for this to not be a post about her and not in this sub lol. I'm having trouble finding the vocabulary to tell off my MIL in a respectful way for her meddling and gossiping! My husband is sick of me talking about this and I would truly love and appreciate an outside perspective because I feel like I'm losing my mind.
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When my (34f) husband (35m) first got together, his mom did not like me. Early on I had met my SIL once and it seemed like we'd get along great, but by the next time I saw her, I would receive the cold-shoulder that has managed to last the last 11yrs. Eventually I ended up reconciling with my MIL, by this time my husband and I have been together for ~4yrs. Her and I aired everything out between us, and discovered during this time that the reason why my MIL and SIL didn't like me was because my husband was ranting/complaining about me and our issues within our relationship - to his mother, who would then go back and tell SIL. So they weren't getting a good image of me. He said I was nagging him, pushy, and confrontational. But not without reason of course!
I do want to touch on these issues a bit because they could come across ambiguous: we were 24 and 26 when bf and I got together. There was infidelity on his part and times when I held him accountable for his actions and behaviors. He didn't like this and would go back and whine to his mom about it. Before you jump down my throat - yes, he has learned through extensive couples/individual therapy that sharing with his mother like this was NOT ok, and does not do this anymore. In his defense, he didn't have boundaries with his mother, and thought he could trust her to give good advice, and to not put his business on front street!
We're great now relationship-wise. We were young when we got together, but we've gone on to build a terrific life together.
Anyway.
MIL begins to gently push us to reconcile with SIL. This started up soon after MIL and I made up, and I wanted to make the effort for my husband and his mom. To show that I was trying to 'be apart of the family.' I was apprehensive at first but she said it was important to her, and she didn't like her kids fighting. At the time I wanted very much for MIL to like me, to accept me and I felt like I was responsible for it somehow, so I gave in.
For a period of about 18mos we tried time after time to make up with SIL, I sent her messages on social media and never got a response. Relayed messages through MIL to her. My husband asked her for all of us to sit down and work out our issues, and got no response.Whenever I saw her, I was met with complete indifference. She would go out of her way to ignore me, act as if I didn't exist, wouldn't even look me in the eye or acknowledge me. Many of my efforts were shut down in front of their family members and my SIL would tell them - in front of me - that she didn't like me.
It was rude and embarrassing. I want to be super clear about this part - at this point, I had no expectations of having a real relationship with SIL. My personal opinion of it all was that we didn't have to like each other, or even talk much but that we'd have some sort of mutual respect for each other, and not treat me the way she does. I felt we should have been able to just say "hello" and keep it moving!! Literally, that's it.
I asked MIL whhyyyy she thought SIL was so resistant to making up and she looked at me and said: "Don't worry about it honey, she's a bigot anyway." My boyfriends family is white. I am black & Filipino. By all accounts, I present black, but have defining Asian features. I'm not sure why my MIL would tell me this unless it was a gentle way of telling me SIL didn't like me because of the color of my skin. My husband also confirmed this bit of information as well.
After some time, husband and I decide that we've made our effort, said our peace - its not us, it was her. We made the effort, and she didn't want that so we respected it and backed off. We let MIL know that we tried, but the ball was in her court and it was now up to her if she wanted any sort of relationship with us. My boyfriend said that we "wouldn't close the door" if she wanted to reach out at anytime.
But I did close the door. All this time later, I don't want anything to do with her.
I had time during those 18mo of basically groveling, to realize that I didn't even have anything to apologize for. I racked my brain for a million hours trying to figure out what I did. I never spoke to her after I saw her the first time, so what did I do wrong? She heard about (one sided) problems in my relationship and chose to hate me for that? Why was my MIL so insistent on ME apologizing?
Boyfriend and I decide to move away, out of state. A couple years later at the top of 2021, my boyfriend turns into a fiance, to a husband, to a dad and I get pregnant! I gave birth to our precious baby in September. Throughout my pregnancy MIL started to insist again on me and husband to reach out to SIL. This is put made me put MIL on ice kinda because she knows what we went through and she repeatedly asks us to make up with her. We got shut down and we accepted it. We told her we would no longer be extending any olive branch to her.
She will not stop bringing up SIL, ATP I'm not sure how to say it nicely anymore, me or my husband. I strongly believe that it's because SIL wants to meet our baby. MIL said in passing during a visist that SIL has the right to meet her nephew and if she had to apologize to do it, she would. Ohhhh so you wouldn't apologize before, but now that we have a baby and you feel left out....we should accommodate you? Because you've been SO accommodating to me.
SIL had been notified by family members of us getting engaged, married and now having a baby and she never once made an effort to extend HER olive branch to make up, and we're supposed to reach out to her?! NO!
I'm sorry, if you aren't cool with US, the parents of the child at the very least, why do you think you can see our baby? Because you're my husbands sister? She isn't anymore an aunt to my child than she is a sister to my husband. Someone whom she only reaches out to when SHE wants something. SIL has shown time and time again that she doesn't like me, doesn't respect me, and doesn't respect her brother.
And, for the cherry on top - why would I let a BIGOT even touch my child?! Why would I want me and my child, (both brown people) anywhere near near someone like her!? I really feel like they're playing in my face!!
My MIL wants us to stay with her at her house, shes being overly generous by offering her house and her car to us so we don't have to spend any money and only pay for our flights. She is so insistent on this, reminding us every time we talk that "we'll stay with her, right?" Money is not an issue, and because of how busy my husband is at work this will be our first visit home/vacation since the pandemic so "spending money" is no big deal if it means we're comfortable and have a good time. She also brings up SIL every call as well. Stop trying to make her happen! Its not going to happen.
Its all so triggering and frustrating, even in writing this my MIL is so involved as well and it freaks me out! Even my own mother is not this invested. I suspect that MIL feels guilty for painting me in a bad light to SIL so she's trying to force a reconciliation between us, but in doing so and trying to justify SIL's behavior has painted SIL in a bad light to me, completing the circle.
I feel like shes doing it again, I'm not even sure if she knows she's doing it or not.
I guess my question is:
Should I stand my ground about SIL not meeting my baby and stipulating that she needs to create a relationship with US the parents? How can I be firm and respectful (do I at this point??) and get my point across? Am I being difficult if I don't want to accept SIL's fake, half assed apology? If my husband wants a relationship with them, that's fine, that's his family, but I'd just realllllly like to be left alone to raise my baby with my husband in peace, and with literally NO interference from his mom/family.

long post
first, a backstory on how my relationship with my bf came to be (fake names)
I met my boyfriend, Justin at my cousin Ruby’s birthday party. Justin is childhood friends with Ruby and Ruby’s husband. Justin and I never got each others number or anything that night, but Ruby posted something and tagged everyone there and from process of elimination, he found me, considering I was the only one without a pfp. We started messaging, he wanted to hang out with me and I didn’t at the time and it was a lot of back and forth. I had just got out of a long term relationship so I was being complicated, but even before we saw each other again, we were both messy and toxic with each other. I don’t know how or why, but it was just red flags all around. Even with all that, I knew I wanted him some way somehow. He then became my “sneaky link”, but that’s after the main part of this story. Before we met again and he became that, I noticed he added one of my cousins that was also at the party (let’s call her Bianca). I see her as a sister so one day, her and I were on the phone and I asked her about him following her and if he messaged her or anything. She said no, but she thought he was cute so she added him back. I told her him and I are talking and I know it kind of surprised her but that’s all that was said.
A few days after, him and I got into an argument and it was bad. About what? Who knows. Later on that night, Bianca sent me screenshots that he liked all her selfie posts and story selfies. I was hurt, but for what? Justin and I really were nothing. We had no title and I hadn’t physically seen him since the party and at this point, it’s been 2/3 weeks. I did confront him about it and we had this whole talk and he removed her which in turn made her remove him, end of story.
This was nearly 2 years ago. My boyfriend and I are about to celebrate our 1 year anniversary this month. We were extremely problematic and petty at the beginning, obviously, but we’ve built trust and a foundation and I know this is who I want to be with. We are not perfect, but we are not the same people we were in the beginning and we often laugh about it. We are both secure with each other.
The thing is, Bianca doesn’t approve of him or our relationship. She has never told me, but it is painfully obvious. Not going to lie, I still feel some SLIGHT hurt from when that happened, towards Justin AND Bianca, because she “hearted” those likes he sent to her story selfies and it’s like he made some pass at my sister, but I see it as I am still choosing to be with him and it’s not going to work out if I hold on to it, so I don’t let that hurt phase me. I expect and want everyone to be amicable and move on. I don’t bring him up to Bianca but at family parties, my mom has brought him up a couple of times and Bianca gives major side eye and avoids any conversation involving him. Ruby even had a baby shower a month into my relationship and all of my family went, including Justin. It was where her party was when I met him, so it felt full circle. I was sitting with Bianca when I first got there and Justin showed up late because of work and once she saw him, she moved and didn’t talk to us at all.
I am not scared of confrontation but I just don’t know how to without it becoming a bigger thing. I haven’t even told Justin this feeling I’m getting from Bianca and how she sees him and but I need this to be settled and for this to be buried already. I eventually want to start living with Justin and want to include Bianca in things I do and invite her to things but also have my boyfriend there as well, but I’m not sure how to go about it. How do I approach asking Bianca what her actual deal is? How do I bring it up to my boyfriend?
TL;DR: My cousin doesn’t like my boyfriend because he liked her posts while he first started talking to me, making it awkward and uncomfortable when we’re all in the same place and I don’t know what to do to make it not weird.

I've been playing Legend Of Zelda: Breath of The Wild with ZERO issues. Today I log in as usual and now any time I aim (while using my pro controller as the controller for use) my game bugs and spins as if having a seizure. The controller doesn't bug with any other game and the game functions regularly with other controllers. What can I do to fix this?? I've restarted the game multiple times, tested the controller on other games, restarted my switch, and NOTHING is working. Please her d The save file I loaded btw was one while I was in a shrine near some dude that would stand outside it who was looking for a way into the desert village (near gerudo with everyone going there for work or something)

Found near 15th street waterfront. Doesn’t look like it has any inscription on the metal so likely might just be costume jewelry. If you lost a ring recently near there send me a description and I’ll let you know if it’s yours.

I've (F26) never been certain of my mum's (F50ish) narcissism. She's never been an aggressive narcissist. In fact, it took going to therapy for me to even identify her as one, and even then I still feel unsure. I faced more neglect than abuse. To a degree I believe she's been aware of her habits and has been in programs like ACA, AA and NA for my entire life. In that I see proof of a want to get better. But I struggle to identify issues as they happen, struggle to bring those issues up and when I do they often go ignored or challenged. Nothing spiteful or outright threatening, but they have often been things that left me vulnerable or unsafe. For example, when my brother was old enough that we couldn't share a room, "my room" became an old carravan in the backyard. And when an extension was finally built on the rest of the house my room was never fully water sealed.
So far I've been no contact for over a year after another year of trying. But a growing sense of lonliness has made it harder to maintain. I miss my family a lot. My dad is worse than her, and my brothers and sisters still live at home. I've been out of home for nearly 10 years now but its suddenly become harder than ever before. I feel stranded without roots.
The big thing that's come about was that I recently sent her a letter where i brought up a number of issues. Her reply was very love-bomby but didn't meaningdully address anything. I want to have a better relationship but I don't see things changing. But i'm also not there to change things, y'know?
I think my big questions are: is this much doubt around it normal? Am i valid in my worries of narcissism?

Tl;dr child told me that they went to teacher’s house
My child goes to daycare 4 times a week since she was 2 yrs old. She is now 4 yrs old. My husband brings her to school 3 times a week and i bring her once a week. Husband told me that he like this particular teacher because of how she takes care and pay attention to our daughter. I can tell that he is really fond of her. Sometimes he would ask me if i saw her after I dropped off our daughter or I would hear him asked our daughter if that particular teacher was in school that day. One particular activity i noticed that he now do more often is hiking. He usually do it 1-2 times a month or every other month. he will be gone like 6-8 hours then back home. We live near the mountains. He does this even before our daughter was born. He goes with a male friend who i know but we’re not close. For the past couple of months I noticed that he goes hiking once a week. Sometimes even twice a week. What i find weird is he brings a backpack but no water and food. I would know because we have cases of water and snacks in the pantry that were not used. And when he goes home, he does not look like exhausted. I mean 8 hrs of hiking you gotta look sweaty, tired. Anyway, Me and daughter was watching a disney movie and she just randomly told me that she and her dad went to the teacher’s house. She doesn’t know the days of the week yet so I can’t really ask when. I asked him in front of our daughter about this and he denied it. I asked our daughter in front of him and she said the same thing, they went to the teacher’s house. He just laughed and brushed it off. He doesn’t seem concerned about this but i am. He thinks our daughter is mistaken or confused.

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is undoubtedly a powerhouse, if not the powerhouse of the indie perfume world. Who else (like me) came to indie perfume at least in part from the hat-tip to BPAL in the acknowledgements of Erin Morgenstern's The Night Circus? I actually still have never ordered from BPAL directly, but I have amassed a fair few samples and decants thanks to Ajevie, Arae, and swaps. And it's always fun to read through the names and notes of each new collection release!
My general thoughts about BPAL are these: they clearly know what they're doing and have an enormous library of notes for them to draw upon. Sometimes new releases feel very much like they just sort of reached into a dark cupboard and combined whatever bottles they happened to grab (particularly the Ménages à Trois), and yet sometimes the unexpected combinations are genius. (Sometimes they are very much not.) BPAL's perfumes tend to work okay for me, but they're not one of my top houses (that list is made up of Nui Cobalt, Poesie, Arcana, and NAVA), although a few BPAL scents have turned out to be holy grails for me (Drow Yoga Instructor, Mouse's Long and Sad Tale). Oddly enough, their florals often tend not to work well on my skin, which is hugely disappointing especially since I deliberately sought out a lot of their ethereal-sounding florals and then a lot of them failed for me. However, their sandalwood incense is astounding, and I love their sweet pea, plum, and pink sandalwood notes.
My preferences: I especially love snuggly scents, incense, golden amber, cardamom, black tea, beeswax, non-gourmand vanillas, and white florals (though sadly I am allergic to lilies and jasmine doesn’t usually work on me). I don't like hay, overly sweet gourmands, excessive musk, leather, dragon’s blood, patchouli, labdanum, or any really dark scents in general.
So here are 27 reviews, organized roughly by category:

Ambers

And With My Spade I Delfe My Landys [Snow-capped golden amber with snowdrop, winter gardenia, hellebore, and iris] - First off, I'm a scholar of Renaissance music, with a real fondness for medieval Books of Hours. Second, I get obsessed with snowdrops in the late winter when the cottagecore-y, hobbit-y, linen-enthusiast circles of Instagram that I haunt fill with photos of snowdrops in February. So how could I pass this one up? I get golden amber and floral as anticipated, and also (just on application, then it recedes) a very resinous, citrusy, herbal scent that I can't quite place - rosemary? Pine? Some combination of the two? It's also a bit powdery (iris has a tendency to pull powdery on me, and as a lover of powdery florals that's just fine with me). And With My Spade is so very reminiscent of those first tentative flowers pushing up through whatever snow still lays on the ground and it's absolutely bonkers wonderful for that transitional season between winter and spring, which is of course what I bought it for.
Bastet [Luxuriant amber, warm Egyptian musk, fierce saffron and soft myrrh, almond, cardamom and golden lotus] - On application, that golden amber reads as powdery honey. As it dries, a sophisticated Egyptian musk and a hint of lotus floral emerge. This perfume is not really gourmand despite the notes. I wish the incense or spices had more presence. As it is, this perfume is nice but it feels a little thin.
Cathedral [Venerable and solemn: the scent of incense smoke wafting through an ancient church. A true ecclesiastical blend of pure resins] - Ohhh, it's pretty. Golden and resinous with only the slightest hint of smokiness. These resins feel closer to tree sap than a dark or spiced incense, so while it's not like any church I've ever experienced, Cathedral is gorgeous and uplifting. I got one scant wear out of my sniffie and would definitely consider getting another sample.
Golden Priapus [A truly carnal, energetic men’s blend: vanilla and amber with juniper, rosewood and white pine] - My experience with this was so puzzling that I went to look up reviews on the BPAL forum, which only puzzled me further! On me, Golden Priapus is an extremely resinous, rosewood-y and tree sap-y golden amber not altogether dissimilar to Hexennacht Baltic Amber [Thick rivulets of golden amber, pinus succinifera, cedarwood, jammy fir absolute, oakmoss absolute, tree moss, verdant musk, cardamom, balsam, lightning-scorched ancient boughs] but with more tree resin and less verdant evergreen. "Carnal" and "energetic" it is not - so off to the forum, where I consistently saw reviews calling this "masculine" and even "a more masculine Snake Oil". I've sniffed Snake Oil (just in the vial, not on my skin) and it had a very red musk + spices vibe, and I don't really see a similarity to Golden Priapus. Nor would I call this "masculine" unless you're the sort who views resinous, sappy golden amber as a more stereotypically men's scent.
The Sun Rising [Three shades of tawny amber radiating with orange blossom, Italian yellow bergamot, saffron, and mandarin] - Golden amber and citrus, with a lot of the saffron. I tested what little was left in the free sniffie in late August, and it was absolutely perfect for the heat of late summer, though I don't think I'll bother buying more because the citrus overpowers the amber a bit (especially the prominent bergamot, not my favorite note).
My Wise Beauty [A simple scent for a quiet memory: white sandalwood and sweet amber] - Resinous golden amber and creamy sandalwood…and vanilla frosting? The "sweet" part of "sweet amber" isn't just flowery adjective but actual description. My Wise Beauty is simple and straightforward but really pretty, wrapping me in a blanket of coziness. The sugary frosting aspect will keep me from seeking out more when this little decant is exhausted, but I will happily wear what's here.

Florals

Alice [Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot] - Soft florals, with the carnation a little more present than the rose. I'm always wary of milk or dairy notes, but the milk and honey here simply serve to mute the rose and carnation, both of which can go strongly green or spicy. I don't dislike this perfume, but as a person who doesn't much love these particular floral notes (I'm much more into white florals, especially tuberose and tiare), it's a little bit boring for me and I ended up destashing this one.
Juliet [Sweet pea with stargazer lily, calla lily, heliotrope, honeysuckle, white musk and a touch of fresh pear] - Disappointingly nondescript. Nonspecific white florals and a hint of pear sweetness. It's dainty and feminine but not memorable. For sweet pea, I'll get my fix with Mouse's Long and Sad Tale.
Lady Amalthea [A luminous white winter musk with lilac, wisteria, white chocolate, white mint, and tuberose] - When it first goes on, the different elements - the florals (I definitely get tuberose, and another floral that must be wisteria, which I'm unfamiliar with), the camphoric spearmint, the white chocolate, and the musk just barely brushing animalic - fight with each other, but it quickly dries down to a much more seamless whole, pretty winter florals over a comforting and Poesie-like white chocolate musky base layer.
Maiden [A gentle vision of purity, goodness and virtue: white tea, carnation and Damask Rose] - It's a lovely combination of rose and carnation, much like Alice, with a slight hint of the green stems but mostly the fragrant flowers (and without the sharp spiciness carnation can sometimes get). On application when it was extremely and uniformly floral, I thought that this perfume needed some vanilla or amber or sandalwood to give it dimension, but as it dried, the white tea emerged to do exactly that - it's not a bitter, astringent white tea, but more the feeling of steam rising from a pale tea in a china teacup. Still, I'm ambivalent at best about rose and carnation, so I destashed it.
Mouse's Long and Sad Tale [Vanilla, two ambers, sweet pea and white sandalwood] - This one is so pretty, delicately sweet and floral, and a staple of my spring perfumes! (Meanwhile, Husband says it smells like talc powder, acknowledging that I like exactly that kind of thing.) I don't get amber or sandalwood individually, but they lend the vanilla a mellowness and warmth. Several hours later, it lingers as a warm sandalwood-amber-vanilla. I love this one so much that I sought out a decant of Mouse's Long and Sad Pumpkin, which I'm saving to try this fall.
Pele [Muguet and Hawaiian white ginger enveloped by warm, damp tropical blooms] - So pretty! This is entirely a white floral perfume, tiare backed by tuberose (I think? A second white floral, definitely). If there's any ginger in there, I don't notice it. I adore tiare so I am entirely happy, though I can also acknowledge that this perfume lacks depth or complexity. I love this and other tropical white florals for summer.
Zorya Polunochnaya [Pale amber and ambergris, gossamer vanilla, moonflower, and white tobacco petals] - A crowd favorite, and I wanted to see what everyone was talking about! This has a sweet + salty, white amber + pink cotton candy effect. The slight tinge of butter and salt to this white amber (no doubt amplified by the ambergris) reminds me of the Alkemia white ambers, Luminae especially. I actually don't really get any florals from this one, which is a pity because I love the moonflower in Nui Cobalt Crown of Hekate [Moonflower and myrrh over shining white amber on a pillow of sheer vanilla] though I find the myrrh in that one quite overpowering. I had been hoping this would be a nice alternative. As Zorya P starts to dry, the tobacco starts to emerge and replaces the initial pink cotton candy effect. It's gentle as tobacco goes, but still more than I would prefer. All in all, it's been really fun to try this one since everyone's been talking about it - and it is indeed just as "gossamer" as the notes description says, though it has a really surprising longevity! But it's not ultimately going to find a place in my collection, since I have other, equally ethereal vanillas that I prefer, and I'm really not into tobacco.

Lavender

TKO [No official notes - people agree that it's lavender and marshmallow] - Yep, lavender and marshmallow. A particularly herbal, astringent lavender, which cuts beautifully through the sweet powderiness of the marshmallow. I'm also getting a sort of dusty background incense, which makes this scent remind me of Stereoplasm Lavender Scarab [Golden amber, English lavender, blackberry, incense], but with marshmallow instead of golden amber
A Place of Seeing [Pink rosebuds and lavender with amber-gilded sandalwood, vanilla bean, bergamot, and marshmallow] - It goes on with the same sleepy lavender as in TKO, made more detailed and complex with the addition of the gentle pink rose petals and the amber-sandalwood-vanilla base. It wafts around me a haze of femininity. As it dries, the marshmallow emerges too, and it becomes obvious that this is literally TKO with the addition of rose and those warm base notes. Very pretty!
The Air and the Ether [Gentle, almost imperceptible, permeating all things: pale amber vibrating with ambergris and a thread of lavender] - Lavender, one that sits midway between herbal and floral, and skin musk. It's an incredibly skin-hugging scent, but has excellent longevity.
On Wednesday, I Will Promise You a Phantom [A gust of luminous lavender, the spectral skin musk of a gently curving ghostly hand, a melodic twang of wisteria and ylang ylang, and a murmur of myrrh-touched vanilla husk] - Another "sleepy lavender" scent - I have several of these in my perfume collection and I love them all. This is a really ghostly, ethereal scent, wafting elusively around me. On Wednesday is primarily a lavender + vanilla scent, but with a bit of complexity. The lavender is the herbal sort, but it's so soft that it's not at all astringent, and the faintest hint of the other florals makes the lavender sometimes smell like the floral sort. Adding just a touch of myrrh was a really clever choice on their part - there's so little that it doesn't make it smell earthy or smoky, but it grounds it and gives it complexity and richness. It's really quite a lovely, ghostly scent.

Fruits

Drow Yoga Instructor [Wild plum, indigo lavender, and a tranquil tendril of sandalwood incense] - A dusty and purple scent with an absolutely gorgeous gentle incense note (I love sandalwood incense!) backed up by lavender flowers (sort of midway between floral and herbal), and a plum note that is intense fruity candy for about 2 seconds when applied, and then merely makes this scent truly purple. When I say "dusty", I actually mean it - after about half an hour, the sandalwood incense really does start to include an actual dust note. This is a stunning scent for yoga practice, or any day you want a gentle purple incense scent. It is the yoga perfume for me, gorgeous and meditative and containing possibly my favorite-ever incense note (sorry, NCD cathedral incense, I promise I love you too!). I don't wear this one as often as I'd like to because I also have other yoga perfumes and I like to rotate through them, but honestly this is my holy grail yoga scent. Even though it has low longevity on me; it'll last through a yoga class and then some, and that's really all I need from it. I'm seriously considering buying a full bottle, which (since I'm a person who full-sizes hardly anything) tells you something about how essential it is for my collection.
Painted Scars [Wild plum and white sandalwood with lavender bud, white musk, and blackberry wine] - I snapped up a half-ml decant of this as soon as I saw the notes, because it reminded me so much of both their Drow Yoga Instructor and also Stereoplasm Lavender Scarab [Golden amber, English lavender, blackberry, incense], both scents I really like. This is a much brighter, fruitier scent than Drow Yoga Instructor, the plum and blackberry combination going on as brash fruity candy (I don't love this stage). But it does dry down to a very calming scent, those dark fruits joined by a bit of grounding lavender and sandalwood. Unlike the two others I thought this would be similar to, Painted Scars noticeably lacks incense, but it definitely lives in their same family. I quite enjoy it (once it has dried down) but won't need to seek out more. I do wonder if layering this with Drow Yoga Instructor might improve the latter's longevity, which would be thrilling if it works.
Titania [A nocturnal bounty of fae dew-kissed petals and pale fruits: white grape, white peach, iced pear, musk rose, sweet pea, moonflower and snapdragon] - It goes on with a blast of fruits too sweet and fruit snack-like, mostly that white grape, but as it sits the florals suddenly emerge with a great whack of petals, and at this point I'm very puzzled because the particular combination of fruit and indistinct white florals reminds me a great deal of mint toothpaste. Another one that's a nice idea but doesn't really work for me on execution.

Greenery

Elf [Pale golden musk, honeycomb, amber, parma violet, hawthorne bark, aspen leaf, forest lily, life everlasting, white moss, and a hint of wild berry] - Wet on my skin, it's pine needles seen through a soft, gauzy veil - it's a strange but lovely effect, the pine needles muted by fruit and amber. Dry, the pine needles disappear entirely, and the perfume is an indistinct but really pretty mix of greenery, floral, berry-like fruit, and glowing golden amber. The overall effect is pretty muted, and by this I don't mean that it lacks throw, just that all of the elements are soft and gentle. It does feel undeniably elfin. I thought it would be a spring perfume but then never wore it the next spring, and when I tried it in early summer, it was much too tree-ish for me - but Husband loved it and happily took ownership.

Beeswax

The Lights of Men's Lives [The wax and smoke of millions upon millions of candles illuminating the walls of Death’s shadowy cave: some tall, straight, and strong, blazing with the fire of life, others dim and guttering] - I love beeswax notes and was excited to try a perfume that I'd read is the perfect epitome of a lit beeswax candle. It's a honeyed beeswax with an unmistakable candle-ness to it even though I don't smell any smoke. It's an extremely atmospheric scent and one that is very situational for me, not for daily wear. I especially love it for Good Friday.
The Little Owl [Tonka bean and vetiver with brown sandalwood, oak bark, almond, and beeswax] - Not going to lie; I was completely suckered in by the cuteness of the name and concept. This scent feels extremely Nui Cobalt-ish: woodsy but also cuddly, featuring honey + almond (like Silver Fox, Chionophilia, and so on) and also some earthier notes, and the beeswax is strong. This is absolutely going to be a fall perfume for me.

Miscellaneous

Baobhan Sith [Grapefruit, white tea, apple blossom and ginger] - I'm not really one for ginger-heavy scents, and somehow my skin always seems to amp ginger notes even if, as in this one, they're last on the list. (Isn't that always the way?) This one doesn't go on with too much ginger, but even just fifteen minutes later it becomes primarily ginger on me, backed with the astringency of acidic grapefruit citrus and white tea leaves. I really love apple blossom but I don't get much if any here; it's overwhelmed by the more assertive notes. Another half hour later, Baobhan Sith is actually nearly gone (or perhaps I just grow anosmic to it?). Meanwhile, at that stage, Husband tells me he can still smell it (so yeah, I've probably just gone anosmic), and that it reminds him of the lime oil in the furniture wax he uses - and he says he quite likes this perfume on me. Overall, it's a lovely idea, and I still think a white tea + apple blossom scent would be just fabulous but this is not it for me.
Bliss in the Pumpkin Patch [There's all manner of shenanigans in this year's pumpkin patch! Pumpkin'ized hybrids of GC BPAL scents abound! BLISS: A shot of pure, self-indulgent euphoria! A scent that is very, very wicked in its own way: the serotonin-slathered scent of pure milk chocolate.] - Oddly enough, I don't actually get milk chocolate; I get cinnamon and espresso over a creamy, foody pumpkin - all told, a bit too gourmand for me, but it was tremendous fun to try. (Less fun: the cocoa solids had separated from the oil, which also left unappealing chocolatey smears on my wrists that I later had to go wash off.)
Lust [Uncontrollable passion and insatiable sexual desire: red musk, patchouli, ylang ylang and myrrh] - This combination of red musk, patch, and myrrh smells to me a lot like dragon's blood. Husband says he likes this one but wouldn't wear it himself; meanwhile it's very very not for me and I didn't bother skin-testing it, red musk and patch being two of my death notes.
Vasilissa [Creamy skin musk and blushing pink musk with soft sandalwood, white amber, dutiful myrrh, and star jasmine] - My immediate response: "Ooh, pretty!" And even Husband graced it with a "yeah, that's nice." A dainty, feminine, slightly floral but mostly pink sandalwood scent with just enough resin and earthy myrrh underneath to ground it.
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Personally...

I absolutely positively cannot do without Drow Yoga Instructor and Mouse's Sad and Long Tale. Other BPAL favorites include A Place of Seeing and Vasilissa, and probably also The Little Owl (we'll see how much I reach for it in autumn). I'm sad that most of the floral ones I tried don't really work for me. I can also commend BPAL for their pretty and often very clever approach to gauzy, lavender-forward scents.
Thank you to everyone who sold or gifted me these samples and decants!

I’m a 23 F who survived 4 years of being sexually abused by someone I called stepfather. He brainwashed me into believing that it’s okay for a 12 year old to be raped by a 40 year old man. His brainwashing techniques were calculated and cold, the police believe I am not the only victim.
I finally reported and pressed charges against him about a year ago today but I don’t feel better yet. I’m angry and overwhelmed by nearly a decade of emotions. I was in therapy but unfortunately my therapist no longer became available and I’m on a waiting list for another. It’s been over 2 months since I talked to someone about how I’m feeling. Recently, my significant other and I got into a very nasty fight. I was explosive and he felt I was using him as a punching bag even though it wasn’t my intention. I just needed someone to talk to but he wasn’t in the right mind to help me. I was too much for him to handle. I lost control and became the very monster I was fighting so hard against. I’ve been struggling with it since the fight and I don’t really see a way out of this. I thought with all that I have done I would be better now but it seems like I’m just getting worse. Does anyone have any tips on breaking the cycle or maybe a way to get my emotions out without hurting anyone else? I have tried writing in a journal but I become so overwhelmed that I can’t write everything down and end up having panic attacks.
Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated. I know what I did to him is wrong and I know that it’s not an excuse. I just want to have control over myself again.

I am filing for divorce from my narcissist husband and I am scared at the financial uncertainty.
He would rather me to go to court, get an index number and go through the headache of filing for divorce; getting a free attorney because I haven’t worked in nearly 2 years to stay home and care for our son. Than to sign the divorce petition and have an amicable separation. He wants me to file for a restraining order “in order to know the relationship is really done”.
He wants to make it hard for me and punish me for wanting to leave. As if he’s the reason I am alive and fed. I feel so stupid for having another baby and losing my autonomy, income and freedom.
I am embarrassed I had children with him. If he does this to me and claims to love me I can’t imagine how he will treat our children.
I hate his guts he’s so despicable and disgusting. Instead of walking away peacefully since he’s the one that cheated & failed to keep his word at reconciling, respecting me, meeting my needs and putting in effort.

So I've been a jerk lately. I was projecting my insecurities and fears onto the others, worried that they hate me due to lack of help when stressed (which is basically for a lack of communication which is a ridiculous thing to become fearful from), accusing them of hating me and ignoring my deliberately, etc.
I've been a complete and utter ass and while I've tried apologizing, that's not enough; it was terrible of me to accuse them of hating me for basically no reason; just because they weren't actively verbally communicating or hanging out near the front didn't mean they weren't helping in other ways--they're the most helpful buncha people I know. But I've been curt with them, I broke a promise on watching a T.V. show I know one of the littles loves, etc. I've been so rude and caught up in my own feelings of insecurity that I've just been, as I already said, an asshole.
I apologized, but obviously it feels forced and like putting a bandaid on an open wound. Since out communication needs a lot of work and I can't just ask them how to help, do you guys have any tips for how I can make things up to them? I'm worried my upset mood the past few days may've driven a wedge between us and it'd break my heart if so, so I want to do some things for them to make up for it, and then in the future obviously not get mad at them for no reason ('cause they don't deserve that).

I was laid off from my manager-level biotech job on Jan 1, 2023. I’ve had little interest/few interviews after the nearly 200 applications I sent out, and no luck ultimately landing a new job. Everyone wants to interview me for manager-level jobs, but I only have 2 years of higher level experience, and I honestly hated being a manager so I’m looking for more of a lead-level job. These seem very hard to come by.
Anyway, since being laid off, I’ve become a personal assistant and professional dogwalker to pay the bills. Should I put this on my resume? Or just leave it as a gap and say that I’m still currently unemployed?

Hello Reddit,
I'm reaching out in the hopes of finding someone who can share stories or offer advice for a situation similar to mine. I'm a 24-year-old male, and both of my parents are facing serious health issues. My mother has various mental and physical ailments, while my father has been battling cancer, including lymphoma and bone cancer, for the past ten years. Unfortunately, his condition has worsened, and it's been especially challenging since September last year when I was trying to pursue my college education (in the UK).
Currently, I find myself in a difficult position, feeling powerless, financially strained, lonely, and lacking hope. I'm struggling with a £1200 debt that I can't pay off due to my insufficient income. After enduring a year of mental abuse and manipulation from my ex-partner of three years, I suffered severe depression, resulting in reduced working hours and frequent absences. I blame my ex-partner for the situation, not my employer. Additionally, my father's health requires constant attention, preventing me from increasing my work hours. Living on my wages alone is nearly impossible, and I frequently find myself in overdraft, barely able to afford anything.
I believe that working from home would be the ideal solution, but I have no experience outside of retail/food service. I'm currently studying social sciences/humanities with the hope of pursuing psychology at university next year. However, I'm unsure if I'll be able to leave home due to my father's condition. Moreover, if he passes away this year, I fear I'll be completely shattered, making it even more challenging to consider university. I anticipate my mother will require my full support in that case.
I'm uncertain about the specific advice I need, as I may be rambling due to my ADHD. However, I'm seeking guidance on my options, available assistance, and how to make progress in clearing my debt, saving money, and providing more for my parents. They are also struggling with debt, particularly my mother, who has exceeded the credit limits on multiple cards. Daily living has become a struggle, and while we receive help from food banks, it's still challenging. Any advice or assistance would be greatly appreciated. Please feel free to ask for any additional details regarding my situation. Thank you in advance for your support.

I got so desperate I actually saw a doctor over my skin. She says I have sebum dermatitis.
I’ve had gorgeous porcelain skin my whole life, albeit with a bit of redness. At 24, one day everything went completely downhill.
Now I’m dealing with severe dryness, dehydration & often itchiness. Some days it’s not so bad, but for 8 months now no matter what I’ve done it hasn’t gone away. Improved, but not disappeared.
I assumed it was from starting a salicylic acid cleanser daily, I realized I was doing WAY too much & stopped all active ingredients, from retinal to vitamin c to hyaluronic acid etc. I then tried a plethora of products trying to remedy what I thought I did & nothing has fixed it.
Atp, I cleanse every night with a gentle lorache cleanser, use rose water all day, byoma squaline + glycerin serum, byoma shae butter + kopari coconut water moisturizers, cannabis calming face oil, Vaseline (some days). Possible TMI but just in case. I use a clay exfoliator with tiny tiny exfoliants twice a week. & occasional LED mask mostly for healing since this started.
The derm appointment. The young nurse was super nice & listened a lot.
The doctor didn’t ask any questions regarding my skincare routine. She asked what’s been wrong, looked at my skin, said I had this dermatitis in some areas & informed me I’d now be a lifelong costumer. Huzzah.
I’d apply ketocoazole to some random areas of my face I wasn’t aware were an issue 💀 & hydrocortisone cream for itching as need to areas. So the whole face?? It’s not ITCHY tho. & she recommended I get the CeraVe hydrating cleanser + moisturizer. This will fix me? I’ve been “keeping it basic” as she said for months now with lorache posay..
I have so many questions. I should’ve spoken up but saying I was going to apply a medicine every. day. was when I stopped listening.
She asked if I was itchy anywhere else & after looking up dermatitis I hardly believe I have it. I was asked multiple times if I’m sure I don’t itch anywhere else. I don’t, lol. I swear. My legs itch rn bc I shaved recently & have since taken multiple hot baths but it’s nowhere near like my face.
I don’t understand why she didn’t ask anything about my skincare. I think it’s kinda wild to go from damn near perfect skin to you have a condition without even attempting idk, suggesting a specific product first. Asking anything about my health, diet, skincare. This is what I mean I should’ve spoken up for myself. Because this is what doctors do.
When I went in today I was hoping for a diagnosis of sorts, & a treatment plan from there. I have a diagnosis I guess now, & more products to spend money on but way more confusion.
-Can I use my other products?
-What about exfoliating, with this build up I literally have to?
-A single Cerave moisturizer cream is meant to fix 8 months worth of intense dehydration/dryness? 💀 Nothing else at all lmao. So when I go back & it still isn’t fixed I’ll be doing something wrong. Oh I have a “condition” it’s totally working it just isn’t gonna go away.
-Probably the biggest question of all. I was told to apply the products to under my nose & on my eyebrows. What about the rest of my fuckin face???? My entire nose & forehead flares up & it’s ALL dry. That may fix the extra sebum in those tiny areas but what about the dryness on my entire face??? I’m to believe a cerave cleanser + moisturizer will be enough to fix that??? I was using Cerave when this started.
More than anything, I don’t want to make her money selling me drugs. Sorry. I’m looking for educated product recommendations before I dedicate the rest of my fucking life to being a derm patient over fucking dryness. I don’t need hydrocortisone. & the way she’s suggested applying it to random areas I hardly think she knew a single thing about me just winged it.
I cannot wash my face twice instead of once as usual, & use a single moisturizer, no serum nothing & believe this will go away bc of the ✨miracle✨ cerave & the cream on my eyebrows. I’m so pissed.
Idk what I’m going to do. Idk if I’ll even try tbh, the reason I saw her was bc I can’t afford to play product roulette anymore, my closet is just filled with half used products. Including cerave. After the appointment I just cried & accepted I’m screwed.
Please please help. Anyone with any info on this. I have so much going on, but I’m trying to have my first good summer ever & I don’t wanna look like hell while I do it & spend all my money battling my face drying off instead of other shit I need. It’s been 8 months, & it sucks still being young & looking at pictures of yourself a year ago & thinking damn I wish I still looked like that.

Me (21,M) and my ex girlfriend (19,F) are attempting to get back together, we started dating again about a week ago after talking for about 2 months again, things have been going really well, my birthday just passed and she spent all week with me, the only issue we’ve been running into is when I ask her about her past, now she has made it clear she doesn’t want to talk about it, but me being the man I am and loving to hurt, I ask anyways and even though she does not want to talk about it she does, (some back story) we met in high school when she was a freshman and I was a junior, we hung out the summer between her sophomore year and my senior year, we spent almost everyday together within a friend group we had, but it didn’t work out, she actually dated a guy (my arch nemesis) in a spiteful manner to get back at me for getting a blow job from one of her friends, we still liked each other though and kept in small contact whenever we could, eventually at the beginning of 2020 when Covid happened it was my senior year and school and all got cancelled, being away from everyone we reconnected and and started talking for months before starting to date in may of 2020, we dated for a little while and we had our ups and downs, she was 16 I was 18 she was still kid and I was trying to grow up, eventually near the end of February of 2021 we decided to take a week break and I decided at the end I wasn’t going to get back with her, we split off and as the memes go I was ok at first and she wasn’t, but the script quickly flipped and I found myself in a world of pain while she had taken her time and gotten over things, she informed me that she had sex with 2 of the guys I “shouldn’t be worried about” who ultimately caused our breakup in the first place, this was within the first 2 months of us breaking up, I had already had fun of my own but it wasn’t with anyone who interfered with our relationship, so this news made me very upset, we had nasty words with each other and went out separate ways, again we had light contact and saw each other a few times throughout the last 2 years occasionally hooking up but not discussing anything in our personal lives, she graduated summer 2022 and went off to college about 2 hours away, while I stayed in our home town working, about 5 months ago we really stared talking again and realized we missed each other at the end of April I went up to her college to see her and we had a great time, it’s now June 2023 and we are dating again, she has slowly revealed things she had done in our 2 years apart, and every once in a while I pry at her and get more info on all the guys she slept with and how many times and when , all this information hurts me but I can’t help myself, although it is in a way helping me get over it, but she hates it when I bring stuff up and ask her about it, but I just can’t help myself, this is causing a strain on my relationship but I don’t think I can stop asking until I’m fully over it and I tried to explain that to her, she slept with 11+ people in 2 years, I was originally her 3rd sexual partner, it bothers me and makes me feel insecure and I just don’t know how to move forward or how to get over it, sorry for the long explanation. Should I keep trying to make it work?

Timestamps and Photos
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Olympus OM-D E-M1 Mark II: ~$445 shipped

• Overall great condition, there's a couple of scuffs on the bottom and top edges where you'd expect. All the buttons and dials work perfectly. I bought it used, so I can't remember if the rear display has any light scratches, but if it does, you can't see them through the screen protector on it. Comes with the box, strap, two OEM batteries, battery charger, and USB C cable.

Olympus 25mm f/1.8: ~$180 shipped

• A few faint marks on the body, glass is in perfect condition. It always had a filter on it.

Olympus 9-18mm f/4-5.6: ~$230 shipped

• A couple of scuffs near the lettering, glass is in perfect condition. Always had a filter on it. Comes with the box.

Olympus 40-150mm f/4-5.6 R: ~$60 shipped

• Looks brand new.

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Bundle of everything: ~$855
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Let me know if you want any more info or photos of anything.

I 29f am a kind person, working in social work field. One thing I will say that is prob a huge red flag to guys is that I still live at home at my moms place. I have lived on my own but was back in school til recently which is why I am living at home til I save up for a few months. I have never had a committed relationship and it is really getting me down lately.
I am turning 30 in a couple months is getting me down bc I finally have my job sorted out, things are pretty good w my friends and family, my mental and physical health, but what I really want is a partner and to fall in love. Pretty much every guy sees me as just casual and the types of guys who go for me typically seek out younger girls. I look a lot younger than my age and so men will approach me thinking I am 21 then lose interest when they find out I am nearly 30. But even when I was younger, guys would lose interest quick or only pursue me for something casual. It makes me feel not good enough. I tend to overthink about my life dissatisfaction, but I know I would be happy with almost everything if I just had a positive relationship. Guys will ask me on a date and appear interested at first, compliment me a lot, then over a matter of days or weeks their interest drops, they start replying slower and it just fizzles out no matter how hard i try. This happens both on hinge and with guys I meet IRL ex. bars, through friends, etc. They always meet someone better looking and stop putting in effort with me.
I wanna give up and feel that I have missed the boat on finding love. I never am valued. maybe 1 guy in my whole life has treated me like I could be more than just a fling. I don't have too many problems having guys attracted to me but they never stay. I know I have good interpersonal skills as I am well liked by friends and colleagues, even strangers. Many of my friends are guys. But I cannot keep a guy's interest in me. Even guys who I have slept with but didn't want to date me will say "how do you not have a bf you are so cool, attractive, cute, funny etc". Yet they are not seeing that I would date them. They would sleep with me after some dates, tell me they dont want serious, then date another girl seriously the next week. its always like "Youre so great...for someone else...." I tend to get invested in 1 guy at a time only. But why does that have to be a bad thing? I value love and relationships more than money, career, etc. Yet I want a monogamous relationship so why is it impossible for me?
I feel cursed or something.

Hello all. First time caller, long time listener. Sorry for the poor formatting, I am on mobile.
I am seeking advise or suggestions on how to eat enough while on medication.
TL;DR: My medication is making me lose my appetite and it’s now affecting my health. What are ideas to help to eat when I don’t feel like eating?
For context, I have been taking Concerta name brand for over 20 years. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was a young child and have been taking the medication ever since. However, due to getting a new job - I had to get new health insurance. Previously, my insurance only covered name brand. Generics were considered too poor of quality for Aetna to cover.
Now, my new insurance covers only the generic and I have tried two different manufacturers version. Both are unreliable. The generics have an inconsistent extended release mechanism that you wouldn’t find with the name brand. Some days I find that I will peak around 3 hours but the next day I won’t peak until 6 or 7 hours in.
I have always struggled with my weight. I finally reached a healthy weight last year. Now, I have lost nearly 15 pounds in the last 6 or 8 weeks because I’m not able to eat as much as I used to.
Normally, I was able to comfortably eat 2-3 times a day with snacks in between and water. Now I am eating once every 24 hours, less water, ect.
I feel like if I start my mornings off right, and actually eating something when I take my medication, it’ll help reduce the lack of appetite symptoms I am feeling.
Any advise would be appreciated.

Was just walking in Waterloo park right on the new boardwalk, near playground, around 10:00pm with my sister, 4/5 large Eastern European/Russian men were catcalling, leering and following us. Please be careful!
Called WRPS non-emerg line to maybe get someone out there, they told me to file a report online lol.
Be careful ladies!!!

I feel like this is one of my worst matchups as a Testament player. Her crackhead mobility makes it damn near impossible to keep her out with my usual spread of projectiles and normals, and she can cross the screen too fast for me to consistently charge fireballs for lingering space control. Once she gets in, her ridiculous left/right/high/low/strike/throw mix that she can loop over and over again feels completely inescapable unless I just get lucky. How do I make this matchup more fun or at the very least manageable?