Milk i am your father shirt
TheLeftSide
2019.03.12 18:12 comrade----- TheLeftSide
Marx to Millenials: I AM your father!
2012.06.24 04:34 zapff PlantBasedDiet - Whole Food Plant Based Diet subreddit (WFPBD)
Home of the Whole Food Plant Based Diet (WFPB)! A whole-food plant-based, low-fat diet could reverse heart disease and diabetes.
2017.03.06 20:40 the home of all CO2 milk memes
it's carbonated milk what else do you need
2023.06.02 01:36 Volitanic My Journey To Find Comfortable Wireless PS5 Headphones
I’ve recently started a search for some new headphones for my PS5 and wanted to share my results as it has been tough to find a set that is comfortable and doesn’t cause pain.
TL:DR – Start with the Sony InZone H7 (or even the H3 or H9).
For some background, I have a child under 3 and recently became able to play a bit longer each day. I am averaging around 1 hour a day using launch Pulse3Ds. Maybe once every week or two, I will have a longer session of up to 3 or 4 hours. Prior to this, I was at about half that time. As my playtime has increased, I have found myself getting headaches and ear pain. Specifically, pain in front of each ear near my temples and my left ear gets raw from rubbing the inside of the headphones. It seems that my shorter sessions were not an issue, but these longer sessions have added up to me being unable to wear headphones for days at a time while I recover.
I also work from home and wear a HyperX Cloud Stinger headset during meetings. This equates to around 4 or 5 hours a day of additional headphone time and I have not had this pair hurt or cause headaches.
Lastly, my rough head measurements are 23 inches around, 6 inches wide and my left ear (the one that rubs) sticks out around 2/3 of an inch.
Below are my thoughts on the headsets I’ve used in the order I tried them. I’ll try and cover what helped me land on a final set as it will hopefully help others with fit/pain issues. I am not covering sound quality much and will link to RTings for that. Given my head rejects most headphones, my focus is on comfort with sound quality and features being of much lower concern. My goal is to find the best headset I can that does not hurt me and will work wirelessly on my PS5 and possibly my Steam Deck (stretch goal). Sony Pulse 3D --Recommendation – I bought these at launch and would only buy them now if you are not sensitive to clamping pressure, have small-ish ears and do not want to buy anything of higher cost on this list. I sold my pair as these are what started this whole journey. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/sony/pulse-3d-wireless --Spent - $100 + $30 for third party ear pads. --Type – Wireless Dongle --My Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight - .65 pounds --Clamping pressure – .9 pounds --Cup Friction – Some rubbing pain after long sessions. --Testing Duration – 2 Years --Thoughts – I powered through these for ~two years. This is the pair that caused me a lot of pain now that I have more gaming time. I thought the sound quality was fine at the price point, but the clamping pressure felt higher than .9 as the original and third-party ear cups were not soft enough. They also rubbed my ears and never loosened up. The top headband would also hurt my head if I moved around a lot during a session (getting food, water, etc). The original ear pads broke down and I replaced them about 4 months ago. These helped make them more comfortable, but the clamping pressure overpowered them. Lastly, I had to run a USB extension cable away from the console to plug the dongle in to as they would cut out randomly from some sort of interference otherwise. I do have a lot of electronics near the PS5, but most are powered off when I play and the only active WiFi thing is a Harmony Hub so I’m not sure what is causing the issue. The extension did solve the issue about 99.9% of the time. HyperX Cloud Stinger --Recommendation – I’ve owned these for a long time and would buy them if you have basic wired needs. I’m keeping my pair for Zoom use only. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/hyperx/cloud-stinger --Spent - $30 --Type - Wired --My Usage – Zoom, 4-5 hours each workday. Experimented with them as an option for long term gaming. --Weight - .6 pounds --Clamping pressure – 1 pound (these are old, so this is probably less now) --Cup Friction – No rubbing pain. --Testing Duration – 1 Day --Thoughts – I bought these on a whim pre-child when I started playing PS4 games that needed a microphone. These worked fine for those rare cases. However, I would not recommend them for regular gaming use as there are many better wired options now. However, they are totally sufficient for zoom meetings as I don’t care about sound quality or the mic being excellent. The volume control on them is also handy for this use case as is the flip up mic. While it would be nice for them to be wireless, it’s not worth the money to replace them just for Zoom. They have not caused me any pain during long stints, and they have held up extremely well over the past 3 years that I have used them heavily for Zoom. Bose QuietComfort 35 II --Recommendation – I’ve owned these for years and I love them. Everyone with comfort issues should own a pair for anything other than gaming. I’m keeping them until they break and may stockpile a few depending on what Bose does with the QC line. Will use them as a backup set for gaming. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/bose/quietcomfort-35-ii-qc35-ii-wireless-2018 --Spent - $350 --Type – Wireless Bluetooth --My Usage – Mainly travel and focused listening. Stints of up to 10 hours at a time on planes. Have been using them as a backup set for gaming on the PS5 while testing everything on this list. --Weight - .54 pounds --Clamping pressure – .69 pounds --Cup Friction – No rubbing pain. --Testing Duration – 3 Weeks --Thoughts – These are the first set of quality headphones I ever purchased. I used them mainly for travel and focused listening and did not realize how spoiled I was. These are extremely comfortable, and I think are part of the reason that I have such high needs for comfort in headphones. The only negative is the slight “underwater” pressure feeling you get when the ANC is on. However, they do work in a pinch for gaming and are extremely comfortable. If Bose ever makes a set for gaming that works over 2.4, they will have my money immediately. They are Bluetooth and thus need an adapter or something to hook into your system. I pipe the audio through a Taotronics Bluetooth adapter hooked into the headphone jack on my TV and it works ok. I’ve owned these since 2018. Aftershokz Trekz Air (Now called Shokz OpenRun Pro I think) --Recommendation – I’ve owned these for many years, and you should try a set of bone conducting headphones if you have not. I will always own a pair of this type of headset mainly for their versatility in providing audio when you don’t want to fully disconnect. I’m keeping these for other uses and maybe for the steam deck on rare occasions but they are not suited for regular gaming. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/aftershokz/trekz-air-bone-conduction --Spent - $160 --Type – Wireless Bluetooth --My Usage – Cycling, walking the dogs, listening to things while watching the kid. Experimented with use on the Steam Deck and as a final solution for PS5, and they are meh. So basically, I will use them for listening to things where I still need to hear the world. --Weight - .06 pounds --Clamping pressure – .32 pounds --Cup Friction – N/A --Testing Duration – 1 Day --Thoughts – They will not blow you away with sound quality, but I do love them for cases where I want to listen to something but need awareness of the world. They are weird feeling if you are not used to them, but I find I use these the most in my daily life outside of my Stinger headset for Zoom meetings. They are great for walking the dog, cycling, or listening to a podcast while Paw Patrol is on. Seriously, try a pair if you never have. Not really an option for a gaming headset though. Steelseries Arctis Nova 7p --Recommendation – Would buy if you are not sensitive to clamping pressure. This seems to be the best set for the price of all that I tested, and I would have kept them if I could have solved the pain issue. Ended up returning them. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/steelseries/arctis-nova-7-wireless-7-7p-7x --Spent - $140 --Type - Wireless --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight - .72 pounds --Clamping pressure – 1 pound --Cup Friction – Rubbing pain after long sessions. --Testing Duration – 2 Weeks --Thoughts – I was hoping these were the holy grail that everyone said. The sound was excellent, and the unit was well built. The headband was comfortable however, my ears still rubbed a tad but more importantly, they caused a ton of pain on each temple after only 1 hour. This seems to be due to the clamping pressure and the design of the pads (and possibly my head shape). My wife experienced the same issue though. I suppose I could have put them on a box to stretch them out and reduce the clamping pressure, but I experimented with manually reducing the pressure while they were on, and they still hurt my temples. It seems the pad/clamping combo does not work for me, and I really don’t want to gamble on the box method and buying third party pads as that seems like a lot to ask to make them work when there are other options. Astro A50 2019 --Recommendation – Skip these. I was extremely unimpressed compared to the cheaper sets on this list. Also, mine came with the headband busted which seems common and crazy as these launched in 2019 and this should be solved by now. I returned them. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/astro/a50-gen-4-wireless-2019 --Spent - $300 --Type – Wireless Dongle/Base --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight - .8 pounds --Clamping pressure – 1.3 pounds --Cup Friction – Rubbing pain after short sessions. --Testing Duration – 2 Days --Thoughts – Man I wanted to love these. They seemed full of features and of a high-ish quality. However, the headband constantly popped out, the cups kept sliding up and down when I took them off and on, my ears rubbed quite a bit and the sound was not particularly better than the Nova 7ps. Overall, I was thoroughly unimpressed by their price point and comfort. Lastly, the pads were a bit rough and had a weird smell to them that would probably go away but was noticeable from 2 feet away and was nauseating. Obviously, these were a huge letdown. Logitech Pro X Wireless --Recommendation – Probably skip these as they have a white noise hiss and clamping pressure issues. It’s sad as they sounded good, and I really liked the build. I returned these. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/logitech/g-pro-x-wireless-lightspeed-gaming-headset --Spent - $180 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .83 pounds --Clamping pressure – 1.1 pounds --Cup Friction – The white noise prevented a long session, but no rubbing pain after the short session. --Testing Duration – 1 Day --Thoughts – The build of these really impressed me when I took them out of the box. They felt sturdy and solid when moving it around. However, they hiss when turned on, which is crazy as these launched in like 2019. Apparently not everyone can hear it, but I can and it’s a common complaint for people who can still hear in that range. I tried updating the firmware sliding the volume around on them, the PS5, etc., and they just hiss. It’s like a light white noise that you can barely hear when it’s quiet. They also put a lot of pressure under my cheek bone after around 30 minutes. I’m not sure if that would be solved with some tweaking or using the second set of pads they came with as the headache inducing hiss was enough to send these back. Sony InZone H7 --Recommendation – These were my final pick after a couple of weeks of testing. The sound was a little less full than I would like, but it’s not noticeable unless directly compared to other headsets. I also felt the surround sound was better than most and these are really light and comfortable for a long time. I’d start here if you have similar issues to me. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/sony/inzone-h7-wireless --Spent - $200 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .71 pounds --Clamping pressure – .8 pounds --Cup Friction – No rubbing pain. --Testing Duration – 3 Weeks --Thoughts – I really did not want to like these at first as they look like shooting headphones and feel cheap. Also, you cannot adjust the EQ on the PS5. However, these are extremely light and comfortable, and the spatial audio is good. I’m not sure that they are worth $200 compared to some of the others on the list, but these were the only pair that worked well over long sessions for me. The Barracuda Xs were close, but those were a little uncomfortable at first but that faded away in long sessions. The thing that sold these were the slight edge in comfort and the dual audio with Bluetooth. Astro A30 --Recommendation – These a worth a try if you do not mind a rubbery material on the headband and earpads and have a head/ears in the medium/small range. I personally found the material bothersome, and the headband hurt the top of my head. Returned them. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/astro/a30-wireless --Spent - $230 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .76 pounds --Clamping pressure – .9 pounds --Cup Friction – No rubbing pain. --Testing Duration – 3 Days --Thoughts – At first, the material on the pads seemed neat. It felt nice in my hands but the second I put them on, I hated it. The ear cup openings were a smidge too small for me but did not hurt when wearing them. The sound profile was decent, but the headband ended up hurting me after a long session. If the cups were a tad bigger and the material on them was different, I think they would have worked and not caused me head pain. Razer Barracuda X 2022 --Recommendation – These were my #2 choice. I really did like these to solve my comfort issues, but there was some random interference and very slight comfort issues during the first 10 minutes of wear that made me send them back. If it weren’t for that, I may have kept them as they are the cheapest set with a low clamping pressure. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/razebarracuda-x-wireless-2021 --Spent - $100 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .59 pounds --Clamping pressure – .8 pounds --Cup Friction – No rubbing pain. --Testing Duration – 3 Weeks --Thoughts – This is a tough one. They were comfortable for long wear, but they caused interference with my controller and would cut out rarely even with the dongle on a long extension cord away from my entertainment center. I found these to sound slightly better than my #1 pick (H7s), but the Bluetooth was not active while playing and they could not have the EQ adjusted. It was by a slim margin that these went back. Razer Kaira Pro PlayStation Edition --Recommendation – They have a good all-around feature set, and I would try them only if you have a medium/small head and ears and are interested in the haptics as I don’t think the clamping would be an issue on a smaller head or maybe on someone with a different head shape. I sent these back but wished I didn’t have to. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/razekaira-pro-wireless-for-xbox (They didn’t have the PS5 specific review) --Spent - $200 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .73 pounds --Clamping pressure – 1 pound --Cup Friction – Rubbing pain after short sessions. --Testing Duration – 2 Days --Thoughts – I really liked the idea of these with the haptic feedback, but it ended up just feeling like extra bass shake. I suspect I would have disliked it of long sessions and turned it off immediately. They put too much pressure on the front of my ears and caused pain and made them feel clogged. They also made my ears hot and both ears scrapped a bit. However, the feature set, like being able to swap sound profiles with a button, was great as was the sound. HyperX Cloud Alpha --Recommendation – Hello white noise my old friend. While not as bad as the Logitech Pro X, it was still enough to make these a no if you can hear it. If you cannot hear it, and are sensitive to clamping, these are a great option. Since HyperX has no fix for the white noise, I returned them. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/hyperx/cloud-alpha --Spent - $200 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .7 pounds --Clamping pressure – .9 pounds --Cup Friction – The white noise prevented a long session, but no rubbing pain after the short session. --Testing Duration – 1 Day --Thoughts – I thought I would hate these as they looked really ‘gamer’, but the build quality was pretty good. I liked the sound profile, and they were comfortable. I would say that these would have been a front runner if not my final pick were it not for the white noise. It was just enough that I knew it would cause a headache, which is unfortunate as the cups and headband did not cause any pain. So, if you cannot hear the white noise and are sensitive to clamping, consider these. Razer Kraken v3 Pro --Recommendation – Basically the same as the Kaira. I was hoping that these would feel better as I like the Kiara, but no luck. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/razekraken-v3-pro-wireless --Spent - $180 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .8 pounds --Clamping pressure – 1 pound --Cup Friction – No rubbing pain. --Testing Duration – 2 Days --Thoughts – I really liked the Kaira ones and was hoping these would feel different. Like the Kaira, they put too much pressure on the front of my ears and caused pain and made them feel clogged. They also made my ears hot, but it didn’t scrape like the Kairas. Razer BlackShark V2 Pro --Recommendation – I tried these as I liked all the other Razer models other than their comfort issues. These also caused a lot of ear pain after about 20 minutes, so I sent them back. They were one of my favorites if you ignore the pain part. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/razeblackshark-v2-pro-wireless --Spent - $130 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .72 pounds --Clamping pressure – 1 pound --Cup Friction – Rubbing pain after short sessions. --Testing Duration – 2 Days --Thoughts – Again, the Razer headsets seem to have clicked with me other than the comfort issues. I ordered this one on a whim to see if it would be better than the others, but the wire cup mountings made them less adjustable, and I think are what caused the pain so quickly. I thought these were well rounded and was a bit sad that the pain hit so early. Razer Barracuda Pro --Recommendation – Since the lower end Barracuda X was a finalist for me, I threw a stab at these despite the higher clamping force. Sadly, the clamping force was an issue, and they made my ears hot. I returned them. --
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/razebarracuda-pro-wireless --Spent - $250 --Type – Wireless Dongle --Usage – Gaming, 1-2 hours a day with bursts of up to 4 hours. --Weight – .75 pounds --Clamping pressure – 1.1 pounds --Cup Friction – Rubbing pain on both ears. This was the only set to have that on both. --Testing Duration – 2 Days --Thoughts – It’s strange that these are so different from the 2022 X lower range model. I understand they have different drivers and features, but you wouldn’t think they would feel like a totally different line. However, they do and given the shallow cups and that they cause clamping pain and made my ear hot after only 30 minutes, these were a big disappointment.
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2023.06.02 01:36 CryptoEnjoyer24 Shaw or Telus
Hi everyone,
I am moving to Brookswood this month and am wondering which wifi provider we should go with
Right now we are on Telus 150 in Poco but I see that their fastest option is Telus 75 so I am thinking of switching to Shaw?
What are your experiences with either provider in or around the Brookswood area?
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2023.06.02 01:36 SnooGiraffes4936 Should I go to my fathers company picnic event?
Last week my dad invited me to his company's picnic event, I said I would go but he forwarded me the invitation yesterday and I'm questioning whether if it is even appropriate for me to go. The part that is making me question things is that the invite says bring your kids. I'm his kid but I'm also a 23 year old man so I'm having doubts that someone my age was included in that statement. Is my concern legitimate or am I thinking about this too much?
I'll talk to my father about this but I still want outside perspectives before I do that.
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2023.06.02 01:36 k0i308v3 Lost all of my furniture and personal belongings after a break up and need advice
Went thru a bad break up she was an alcoholic. The day of the break up I was going to move my furniture and belongings that were at her house in Indiana ( i moved from Kentucky to be with her) and put them in storage because I was debating to go back home to KY. The storage unit was located in the town she stayed at. I was working a weekend part time job at a gas station for extra cash. When I had mentioned to my boss at the gas station andninformed him about the situation in which I wasputting my stuff in storage he offered to let me keep it in the back of the stores storage unit, and some in his garage. I want to make it clear i never asked, I was ina tough spot and opened up to someone I had just started working for, he proceeded to tell me it would be fine to store it in the above mentioned locations. Two weeks after moving it there I was being threatened by my ex's friends and co-workers over Facebook, some even would come to the store. I suffer from severe PTSD I grew up in a war in my home country in the 90s and have very vivid memories of things I never wanted to live thru, so when the heckling began I would get triggers. I didn't like where it was going and how fearful I was getting. Instead it would be best to move back to KY before I had caused harm to someone. So I notified my boss at the gas station put my two weeks in at my full time job and moved back. However his wife started to ask when the stuff would be picked up, I told her of my financial situation, the harassment at the store she responded with, she didn't care about my issues and fair enough she didn't have to. She than proceeded to tell me my stuff would get tossed outside. Mind you again i never went to them to store the stuff they came to me and offered to let it stay there. With no timeline the words were "until you figure out your living situation and get a apartment" I wasn't trying to free load in my head i thought in two months I can get my apartment and get settled. I had lost almost everything i saved financially to my ex I take responsibility for that, it is what it is lessons learned. I was living out of my car during this. She than gave me an ultimatum that i would have to come get it that weekend because she was cleaning her garage, or again its being tossed. I told her I would try and come up that weekend to get my stuff, I had a friend who was going to loan me extra cash to cover the 4 hr U-Haul trip. That fell thru and I wasn't able to afford the U-Haul. She tossed my stuff, furniture,all my daughters clothing, their furniture, I had birth certificates and important documents in those drawers locked up stuff i can't replace that easily. What are my options? Am i SOL here?
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2023.06.02 01:36 Prash-Bit I would like some travel advice
Hello, my name is Adelaide. I am planning to go with my sister on holiday to the Czech republic soon. We're going by train from the Netherlands, we're planning to visit Prague, Liberec, Jablonec nad Nisou and Brno over the course of about 2 weeks, staying a few days in each place.
What are things that we should really visit/acitivities that we must try in these cities? Are there any places to avoid? Are there any transport problems we might face (I am particularly worried about Jablonec nad Nisou, as its unclear wheter the tram is running or not and if there is a train as well).
I am also quite curious about food, I normally like trying out some of the local food if its possible. Is there any food or drinks that I should try in your opinion (it can be dinner, snacks, pastries, anything really). My sister is vegetarian but I do eat chicken, turkey, lamb and seafood/fish. Are there any restaurants/cafes/snackbars that we should really avoid?
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2023.06.02 01:35 notreallymetree I am really pissed off
(Trigger warning, emotional abuse, health care neglect, gaslighting, a very incoherent post)
It started with my doctor not wanting to give me urgent care for therapy after I told him repeatedly that I was thinking about ending my life every day. "We can't ask for urgency unkess you are gonna jump in front of a train right now!," and then after I said I cannot have a crisis team over at my house due to the abuse at home, he said "well the abuse is in the past." And when I asked him about how I would like to GO to the crisis team myself and for them to not come at my house, he said "It is not a hotel, it does not work like that." And while I was crying and sobbing to him, telling him I have no idea what to do because I do not think I can make it until the end of the year, he said "I can't do anything about it." I walked out and he did not give a fuck. I spiraled completely and felt sick for 3 days.
I posted the incident on Reddit and one person had the audacity to say "You come off as being emotionally manipulative, probably due to your desperation and workers can sense that and not take you seriously." It pissed me off because I felt like I was being a gaslighter to my doctor and that it was my fault.
Again, I posted about my stress and worries and how I felt hatred towards my mother who is now hyper supportive of my cousin who is going through the same abuse I did as a kid, and calling it all out. It triggered me and I posted about how my niece showing up at our house constantly triggered me and how I started to feel hatred towards them, which was misplaced because it is actually towards my mother but I made that very clear in the posts that I emotionally support my cousin and would NEVER stand silently towards the abuse. (We have called cps many times, and have done it again and they are being emotionally supported by my mother, me and siblings) Someone said I was complacent in someone else's abuse and that I need to "work on my issues of hating a child," because the commentor had people stand by while they were abused. I made it very clear we never thought any of this is okay, it was just a vent. But putting me on the same level as someone who "accepts abuse" was just...not okay. They apologised, but it still made me think I was the abuser, like I was gaslighting and I was the problem. I talk to them on the phone everytime something hapoens and tell them. "You are worthy, you have value, you fucking matter and no one can tell you otherwise. The things that are happening to you are not your fault, and who you are from the inside is a kind, loving, strong person that has too much stuff on their plate. You fucking matter!" Basically telling them all the shit I was never told, but somehow I still feel disgusted with the emotions I had before due to that one commentor, even after I told them we are doing EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER to stop what is happening.
It has kind of been a pattern with psychiatrists, doctors and just random acclaimed "smart people," to either take my moms side, insult me at my lowest or just be disrespectful. And through all of this I can only think:
"Well, people who are actually abused and mistreated are way more quiet and not as angry or flamy in their posts, you ARE the problem." Which I know is just my trauma talking, but why are people so confortable making assumptions about other people's intentions. My inner voice is very tiny due to years of abuse, so whenever these things happen, I feel like I am suffocating.
I know I should probably go off Reddit, but it is the only support I have. So I wonder if any of yall have experienced that in this sub specifically. (I deleted all those posts because I felt evil posting it, despite those comments having been downvoted by the community.)
And even know I feel like people will judge me and say I am the problem or an ass for posting all of this and not having the "acceptable" and "softer" emotions of someone who has been abused. And how I should fight every battle, mistreatment and issue in the world or else I am an abuser and emotionally manipulative.
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2023.06.02 01:35 throwawayquestionsa I spent my life fighting to survive with dreams of someday feeling alive and I never will have the chance
My body is dying, my brain is alive, and I'm only 27y/o
All of my life I've fought alone, I lived in the projects with my mother not being in my life and my father trying his best but was never around
So I pushed through all of the horrors and managed to graduate high school even after not completing a single class in my junior year because I was in-and-out of a psych hospital for 4 months because of 3 suicide attempts
I was given my old medical records a few months ago and apparently had taken an IQ test while I was inpatient and was never told my score - apparently I was well into the genius level with a note from doctor that it would most likely be higher if I was in a less shattered state of mind
I can't ever claim to have considered myself dumb, and I have an unmeasured but obviously apparent EQ as well. I am hyper analytical and perceptive of the world and the people in it, to the point that I could read any person's emotional state just by their presence
It made me incredibly introverted as I am an empath I would feel the pain of those around me and the pain of living in this fucked up world and it was too much to bare so I would hide myself away because I couldn't turn it off and I couldn't cope with it either
I wanted to do something go in this world, I wanted to be able to fight for those who grew up in even worse situations than me, I wanted to help millions of people in even less developed countries because I knew the pain of never having help
I tried to go to college like I was supposed to, and would have had maximum financial aid but my grandfather passed away the year before I started and left my father money which was promptly stolen in a legal dispute from a greedy aunt, yet it showed his income as much higher for that year
I was told that I would receive no financial aid as a result, so I reversed my decision to go but they promised my naïve self that they could fix it and it's a common thing that happens, so I decided I would still go, a month before I was supposed to begin they told me they couldn't fix it and I once again reversed my decision, and shame on me but I fell for it again when they told me they could fix it
As I needed to register for classes I signed up, moved into a dorm, and was told they couldn't do anything about it and I'd need to take out private loans, $28k in total for 1-year of college that I medically withdrew from after planned suicide attempt in my second semester
I went inpatient again, but because of the private loans stipulations if I was out of school for 6 months I would be required to pay them back, because of the timing of when classes next started and when I went into the hospital, that 6 months hit where I was "out-of-school" and the private loans placed a hold on my transcripts and restricted me from applying anywhere else, and blocked my from registering for classes until I paid them off
I did the only option I could and looked for work, and because of my terrible emotional state I was rejected from even gas station jobs because my heart just wanted to be able to use my brain and not waste away behind a counter but I had no access, no connections, no financial help
I eventually had one hiring manager at a retailer give me a chance and I rapidly climbed to an assistant manager role after 6 months having no prior experience because of my ability to handle so much, I had fought all of my life so a busy and overloaded work day wasn't daunting, it was just my norm
I rode my success and with my ability to work with and understand people and what they wanted to hear I managed to work at Microsoft with no degree at only 21 and rode that throughout Covid - I had finally started to make it, I was making the most I ever had but my city is in the top 3 most expensive places to live in the US and I still struggled financially
But I managed, I worked two jobs to try and pay off the student loan debt faster while also completely supporting myself with no aid from family
I continued to develop my skills and I continued fighting my way upwards in corporate, with the dreams that someday I would make enough to have breathing room and finally escape the life of poverty
But as soon as I starting making more, the unpaid hospitals bills from 4 inpatient stays came back to haunt me - $60k in debt with nothing to show for but being alive to pay off the debt
So I fought for the last 7 years and I've still been fighting - I have $10k of debt left, I make slightly over 6 figures and I still have never had the chance to breath and because of this fucked up economy and the greed of the ultra rich I can't get promoted fast enough anymore to make enough to save and I've only been surviving and living paycheck to paycheck
And I know this isn't unique but I had set a goal 7 years ago to pay it all off and then start to build a life for myself then, I scarified having relationships, having friends, spending time with family, and really any forms of happiness because I just wanted to be free and give myself the chance to LIVE and not just SURVIVE
I was so close, I was so fucking close to finally getting to a networth of 0, I had fought for my life with not a single dollar of support from anyone, and I was counting down the months until I would make that final payment
But over the last few months I had begun developing pain in my back and just kept working and fighting through it, I'd wake up in pain, go to sleep in pain, but in my mind I just wanted to be free of the debt so kept on pushing myself anyway, pain be damned
Until 2 weeks ago when the pain had reached a point where I couldn't sit at my desk anymore without feeling a fire in my back, and I finally went to the doctor - my reluctance from doing it sooner was the fear of more medical bills after I had been working so hard to pay them off
Well hindsight is 2020 and maybe things would be different if I stopped fighting but come to find out I have stage 3 lung cancer
I've still been processing it, and maybe i'll survive, but I've simply lost the will too
27 years of fighting without reprieve, 27 years of trying to see above the water line, 27 years of dreaming of someday not being in the noose that is money, and 27 years wasted with no friends and most of my family already gone
All I wanted to do was help people, all I wanted to do was break away from this fucked up game of money, I just wanted to feel an ounce of freedom
and now my outcomes are simply die or fight more, possibly live, and restart my nightmare of leaving medical debt as we go into another financial crisis and I still have no financial support or savings
I just wanted to feel alive and be able to live an average life and I got neither
I've lost my will to live and my will to keep fighting, this world is so fucked up and I can still realize my situation is far from the worst and there are people out there who suffer even more and will continue to because of this horrible fucked up game of money
fuck
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throwawayquestionsa to
offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:34 FluffyExcitement7887 Urgent vent!!
| This client said the craziest thing to me today. I groomed her doodle for the second time, he is now 12 months old. Both times he has been severely matted, and I have had to use a 10 blade for his entire body. This time was different though because his ears were so matted that when I shaved them, they were balding in some spots because it was getting pulled out with how tight the mats were. Anyways, I shaved the dog down, and bathed him. In the bath I noticed his ears getting more purple and hematomas started to form. I’m not gonna lie, I was getting pretty frustrated with the condition of this dog, and how neglectful his parents had been, especially because I did his first ever groom at 7 months old back in January. So anyways, when the client came to pick the dog up, I told her again about the pain that matting can cause and as we were talking his ears were turning more purple on the edges. After I gave the lady all the information, she proceeded to say… under her breath!!! “I don’t think he’s in pain.” So I said, pardon me? And she repeated the same sentence. Oh man the fire in my blood lol. I assured her that he is definitely in pain, and even showed her his ears and pointed at the bruising that was beginning to form. The conversation ended with her saying she would come in more, and book an appointment tomorrow, but I honestly felt like she just didn’t believe me! It is so hard not to get frustrated with these doodle owners who just don’t seem to understand.. why would I say your dog is in pain when it’s not? That wouldn’t make sense. I am a professional and I work with dogs everyday, I can tell when they’re in pain!! Ugh 😑 I wish I had photos of how the ears were turning purple after, but this is during the first shave down submitted by FluffyExcitement7887 to doggrooming [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 01:34 Abeville5805 Greatest Classic Rock Songs
I am putting together a playlist just for my own enjoyment. I’ve added several things but I’m sure I’m missing a ton of things. I thought some suggestions would be fun for variety. What’s your favorite song from the 60’s, 70’s, or 80’s?
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Abeville5805 to
Music [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:34 Bigdjhony Young guy looking for any lonely mature married or single women
Heyy I’m a young guy average build 6,1 height 85 kg 6 inch thick cut and clean tool I last about 25-30 mins each round for multiple rounds I am into older women as I am 19 about to turn 20 I would like to meet a women 30 years or older I can travel all around gta and even to some places outside gta I cannot host unfortunately pls let me know thanks if you would not like to contact here you can let me know and I can share my contact info I am respectful and discreet so it doesn’t matter if you are married or single your privacy is my full concern
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Bigdjhony to
dating [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:34 GeorgeneKeck Snake checksum!
What do you think of this: ``` get memory address; get memory length;
declare long var1, var2, index, result;
for (n <- 0) increase n until n is equal to memory length: set index to n; copy memory at index to var1; set index to (memory length - n); copy memory at index to var2; mod-2-add var1 and var2 (var1 xor var2); add the result of mod-2-add to result;
result is now our checksum;
```
I have implemented this (including with 512, 256 and 128 intrinsics), and I'm currently testing it. What do think? I know it's basic but it's a good checksum+CRC hybrid right? Please give me your opinion. I am not at all a very knowledgeable person and I am seeking to learn. Thank you.
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GeorgeneKeck to
compsci [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:33 radertron the space queen is here
| hi it’s rader from diazepam. you can see my previous posts i am decent. stars are good, celeste is here (you gotta find her, i am not into “trapping”). DIYs to learn or take on the beach in front of nooks (on your right out of the airport). if you need a few million bells lmk. i would LOVE to pay your loans / get you something nice. feel free to fish, bug, interact with villagers, shop (able’s has the 1.2 mil crown today). PLEASE DO NOT RUN. i beg you. i’m rebuilding the 2nd & 3rd tier of my island & i ask that you don’t run. or dig. NO TIPS! i need NOTHING! feel free to sign my board, i love that. my flag flies 365 days per year. this is an ADULT island. queer / 420 friendly / the theme is cultcore (humorously). and YES, i have spies… lol, but seriously. don’t be a d-bag. that’s all i ask. chat request me for a dodo, first come first in. will keep it as chaotic-free as possible. xo, rader from diazepam submitted by radertron to BuddyCrossing [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 01:33 the-nopal Double dipping activities on primary app
Hey all, I have a question about activities on the primary.
I’ve seen people strongly advise against listing an activity under two different categories, but I am in a gray area. I volunteer at a free medical clinic abroad (we go once a month) and have a wide array of duties, in my activities I listed it as volunteering in which I triaged, organized donations, helped in the pharmacy, and translated/shadowed only around 5 hours for 3 providers (don’t have their contact info as the organization paired volunteers with the physicians and we rotated out). So I chose to simply list it as volunteering. However, one of the schools I am applying to requires shadowing specifically, do I need to have a separate activity section for shadowing in this case? If I did, it would have the same contact information as the already listed volunteer organization, as their coordinator was the one who assigned me to shadow. I am also a virtual scribe for a major hospital in my state, and I have technically had to undergo shadowing as paid training but don’t think I can list this.
Can anyone advise on this or experienced something similar? Would appreciate your thoughts! :)
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the-nopal to
premed [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:33 hotsquatch Me (37M) and me ex (37F) are working things out, but questions on pacing.
So, dated my ex (37F) for from September-ish 2021 into Feb of 2022. Things were great but she carried heavy baggage from health issues and previous relationships. I was instantly enamored by her. Conversation flowed, interests are in line with one-another and we genuinely loves spending time together. We had taken a break due to her baggage once in November of 2021 for a few days. In February of 2022 she cut it off right before my birthday which was a tough pill to swallow, but I spent that time from then on searching, on my own, for happiness, healing and paths through life. I've found a good bit of serenity and internal peace as well as self love on the way. I had gone into the relationship with her with some baggage on my end with my father passing and the stress of keeping my mother emotionally stable, starting a company, and in general being a 'worrier' for so long.
Fast forward through that year to now. I'm in a much better head-space, have learned a lot about self love and found peace in my life! Ayo! I used our breakup as a means to get myself better.
About two months ago she asked if we could meet up as friends which I agreed to. She was coming to me for advice on her life situation, getting her life on the track she wants, and starting a new career. I was nervous to see her, wondering if I would break down or say something dumb, but it was like two friends meeting up. After spending the evening talking over a few drinks on my end and sushi all-around, we went our separate ways but kept texting; again, only as friends. I did establish a hard-fast rule that I wasn't willing to discuss relationships she or I may have been in or could be in, I felt because I still have feelings for her it wouldn't be right for me to offer my skewed view.
I did not make that part known to her, but instead politely said that I'm not the right person for that sort of advice. She accepted that proverbial line in the sand, which made me happy and feel great for honoring and respecting myself enough to do that.
A couple weeks after we met up, she is texting me about a guy who she only ever intended to be friends with is trying to manipulate her into a relationship. I tell her I'm sorry that's happening to her, to follow her heart and, unfortunately, I'm not the right person to ask for advice in this situation because my track records with relationships are not the best as a joke to try and lighten the situation.
As I send that I get a text that says "I honest to god want to be with you, but I don't know, I feel like I shouldn't be in a relationship."
So when I read that I suggest we talk in person so nothing is misconstrued via text. She agrees, but is starting her new career so it will be a couple days. I joke that "Well, that's ok! It will give us both time to think and you may even realize you want to take that back." I get an immediate reply "Nope. It's been thought about a lot. I mean what I said."
So, we meet up at my place. Small talk, joking around, and I finally crack the glass and ask "So... What are we supposed to do now that this new information is out there?" and I explain why I've been hesitant to give her any relationship advice. She listens and understands then says "Maybe we can take things slow and see where it goes." I agree, we relax on the couch and she takes off after we cook some dinner together.
That was a month ago, and we've been spending a good bit of the weekends together, and a weeknight here and there. However, when we're together on the weekends, she's been saying things like "We should do a saltwater tank together!" or on the conversation of a dog I was looking at but didn't get because I'm never home, "If we were living together I'd love to adopt or rescue." I figure it's innocuous playful chat - I'm not trying to push the envelope and fall head over heels immediately.
I guess it wouldn't be out of pocket to say that there is a lot of cuddling, holding hands and sharing a bed, but we've both held off on physical intimacy. But she has mentioned she wants to get back on birth control sooner rather than later.
But, last night as I'm at her place, we're cooking together and while I can't remember what I said she said "Oh yeah, practice for when I move in," followed by a noticeable pause, then, "With myself." We joke it off and continue the night.
Right after dinner, brushing my teeth she pops in the bathroom for a floss pick and there's a birth control box in there that is expired. She quickly says "It's not what you think, it was right after we broke up, see the expiration date?" and she shows me. Yup. Checks out. She says she was nervous cause she was late right after we broke up and I joked "Well I mean I guess it worked out cause if you were pregnant that would have been an angry phone call to me, huh?" and she replies "I wouldn't of been mad, you know I've always wanted kids. But I'd have been scared shitless!" and I laugh. We joke, lay down, cuddle up and we crash out because I have to be up at 5am and she has to be up at 5:30am.
So I guess my question is - am I now the one moving too slow? Are these hints to pick up the pace on my end? Or is she testing the waters to see if I'll move too fast? I genuinely fell for this woman the moment I met her, and even though my year of self reflection and soul searching put me in a much better place, mentally and physically there was not one single day I did not think of her or miss her.
TL;DR My ex and I are trying things out again now that we're both in a better place and she outlined taking it slow, but is saying things that seem to be hinting that I should pick up the pace. I'm comfortable responding either by picking up the pace or staying in my current lane. But to me it seems like she has a mixed signal of what this moving slow may be. Does it appear that I'm handling this correctly and most important to me RESPECTFULLY?
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hotsquatch to
relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:32 Downtown-Book3105 So many gays 🌈🏳️🌈
2023.06.02 01:32 xKitten01x STALKING
TW: stalking,
[email protected],mask,BDSM,Daddy,-KINK
Btw english isn't my first language.. so I'm sorry for mistakes. If you don't like the topic then don't read it. It's my fantasy and if I like it then so be it. Have fun while reading. ;)
Part 1:
"Same routine every morning.. boring." I muttered to myself and sighed. I was putting things on the shelves and looking at the clock. I was about to finish my shift... Finely.. I looked to the left and saw a handsome man, around 25 years old. He was wearing a suit and had short blond hair. ,,Wow very handsome.." I whispered to myself and looked over at him again. Our eyes met for a moment and I looked away in embarrassment. I slowly shook my head and focused back on my work. ,,20 minutes left... Almost done." -end of work- I put on my jacket and closed the deal. I walked slowly through the alleys and tilted my head back. ,,Gosh... Im so tired.." The moon looked really nice today, I thought and went on. I had a very strange feeling.. like someone was watching me.. I had this feeling for a long time.. But today that feeling was very strong.. like it was right behind me. I turned around but when I didn't see anyone I breathed a sigh of relief. I only had to go through one alley and then I would be at home.. my poor cat is waiting for me.. I heard another noise behind me and turned around again, but again I saw no one. My heart was pounding in my chest and I just ran. I ran as fast as I could and when I finally saw my house I grabbed my keys from my pocket in a flash. My hands were shaking and I was panicking. When the key finally fit in the keyhole, I unlocked the door and ran inside. Immediately I looked through the spy hole but nobody was there... Did I just imagine it...? I breathed a sigh of relief and my cat came up to me and meowed. "What's the matter my darling. Are you hungry?" I said to my cat in a sweet voice and she meowed again. ,,Aww your so cute!" I mumbled and stroked her. I went into the kitchen and put wet food in my cat's bowl. She ate everything up straight away and I giggled. "I'll have to put you on a diet soon." My cat looked at me wide-eyed as if she just understood what I said. I giggled. I slowly went to my room but I still had a very bad feeling.. My window was open when I walked into my room and I shook my head. ,,I'm so stupid. Why am I leaving my window open?" I went to the window and quickly closed it. ,,So stupid.." I mumbled. If I'm not more careful I might get killed one day.. I yawned and slowly took off my clothes. I slowly went to my closet and put on a white t-shirt. I was only wearing my panties and the t-shirt which was way too big for me. I quickly jumped into bed and closed my eyes. And so.. I fell into a dreamless sleep..
BOOM I woke up and looked at my alarm clock. It was 3 o'clock in the morning. What was that noise?! .. was that my cat..? I called her name but she didn't come here as usual. ,, Darling? Where are you. Come here my sweetheart." But she didn't come... What was going on? Still a little sleepy, I rubbed my eyes and got up from my bed. I slowly walked towards the door and when I wanted to open it, the door jumped open and I screamed in terror. Someone was holding my mouth it was dark and I was so fucking scared.
,,One peep and I'll hurt you babygirl~" He whispered in my ear and I felt goosebumps over my body. I kept my eyes shut And made no noise. When nothing happened for a few seconds, I slowly opened my eyes and saw A man wearing a balaclava. I could feel his muscles pressing against my body and I was breathing fast. He took a step and pulled me with him. I whimpered but stopped because be clamped his hand over my mouth. The man pushed me onto the bed and my eyes widened in shock. I couldn't see much but his eyes.. His eyes pulled me under a spell I couldn't break.. I was scared but felt safe in a different way. I think now all my brain cells are burned away.. why should I feel safe.. He broke into my house.. who is this guy. Okay everything will be fine everything will be fine I'll give him all my money and then he'll go.. I thought to myself. He cleared his throat and stroked my head. He slowly lowered his hand from my mouth. My first intention was to scream but I didn't want him to hurt me. I kept quiet. ,,Good girl.. keep quiet." I nodded and I wanted to talk but I noticed tears starting to fall from my eyes. I saw the guy's eyes he looked shocked for a moment but then he had a cold gaze. "J-Just take wha-whatever you want. I'll g-give you all my mo-money but p-p-please don't hurt me!" I begged him and more tears fell down my cheek. I heard him sigh and he lovingly brushed my tears away. "Oh no my kitty.. I don't want any money. I want you." He said with a dominant undertone that gave me goosebumps. My heart was beating wildly in my chest. I didn't understand myself and my body it was exciting but I was scared.. a strange man was in front of me but I liked it in some way.. I think now I'm completely insane. "Will you be good kitten?" he asked, pinning my chin with his index and middle fingers. I couldn't do anything but nod. ,,Good girl." He ran his hand down my body and stroked my chest. He slowly slid under my t-shirt and a small moan escaped me. My whole body is shaking.. But it felt good.. slowly he ran his hand down to my panties. He chuckled and whispered, "You're wet.. does it turn you on when a strange man comes into your house and rapes you?" And with these words he drove two fingers into me. Tears rolled down my cheeks but I enjoyed it. I groaned and tried to push his hand away but he pinned me with his other hand on the bed. I couldn't move he was too strong. I slowly adjusted to the darkness and could see that he had a muscular build... I'm crazy I should scream... but why cant I? He continued to finger me and when I realized that I was almost at the peak I groaned loudly. But the man withdrew his fingers from me and I could literally feel his grin. ,,Do you like that little one? You're so naughty." He Chuckled. I couldn't say a thing.. I was exhausted and I just wanted to sleep.. yes sleep.. it's all getting so dark... has it always been this dark?.. I feel so light.. so light.... ,,Hey wake up." I heard a voice.. it was so far away.. I'm tired.. I don't feel any emotions.. was it always so empty in my thoughts?... ,,HEY?! KITTEN? WAKE UP!" Who's screaming like that... Too loud.. just a little sleep..
To be continued....
-Kitten/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ<3
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xKitten01x to
KinkyShitposts [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:32 KoolaidDye I am not mentally ill
I know this is controversial because my own family doesn't understand. They seem to think I lose grip with reality. I know what reality is. I have learned not to talk about this. My interest is spirituality and paranormal stuff. Ever since I was a child I have been open to different things. I am having a major breakthrough and it is being labeled as mental illness. I don't need that. It doesn't affect my life negatively. I can function just fine. I know what psychosis is. I know I am experiencing none of that. I know not to talk to my family about my experiences, plus you're not supposed to anyway.
I feel amazing. I feel like I've learned to accept myself. I feel the presence of love. I just want to show it. I am learning not to feel anger. I am not manic either. I am not depressed. I'm learning my true self. I am worthy of love and I need to do what Im passionate about. Honestly it's kinda obvious that I'm not in psychosis, because I have insight and I posted here. I just feel like a light has been turned on. I will not tell people I am wise though, I am far from that. I made that mistake a few years ago. I believe I am harnessing some abilities. I am satisfied. I no longer feel so much physical pain. I even will take my meds because they don't stop this. My inner growth is not impeded by meds.
I just need to convince people that maybe I don't need them at all. I'm very misunderstood and lost. Plus if I don't need them, they could be causing harm. I am not antipsychiatry at all, I just believe they are not right for me and that I must discover myself. I just feel so grateful for being here and able to post. I love life today.
I have no reckless urges, no impulsive ideas, no depression, no anger, just positivity. Hugs to anyone who is not feeling the best today. Hugs to everyone. I do not encourage anyone to go off medication.
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mentalillness [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:31 trash_crow Hydrangeas in a bad way!
| Hello all! I recently went on vacation for a few days and came back to my hydrangeas looking like this! I don’t know if my mom overwatered them or underwatered them or what! I am in zone 7a (I think…) and they are planted outside in my courtyard. They get I would think 4-6 hours of sun, perhaps a bit more. I planted them around May 9th, left over the holiday weekend and came back to them like this. I usually water them when they get droopy; I use tap water and a watering can and water overhead. I also noticed a slug on one of the plants at night, but I only saw one and it wasn’t that big. But I’m not going to rule anything out! Thank you all for your help! submitted by trash_crow to plantclinic [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 01:31 CaliCanuck What is the effect of the Hedge on humans?
I am a first time storyteller, and I am having my group of Hunters go up against a changeling (one of my personal favorite splats other than mages) and I am planing their confrontation and where they decide what to do with them and their victims. If the changeling escapes I am having them run away into and through the hedge. And now to what I am trying to figure out, as I always plan for the party doing something stupid, which in this case would be chasing them into the hedge. I am currently drawing up a list of denizens of the hedge they might encounter, but I am not sure of the hedge's effect of standard humans. From what I understand traversing the hedge can be quite arduous for a changeling, but there are creatures that live within it.
How bad will this be for them if they enter? Will it be like putting your hand on a hot stove where you instantly know you made a really bad decision, or will it take time for that to become apparent? Will it drive them mad slowly? Or will it be pretty much a TPK guaranteed if they do that?
I don't think they would do this, but I want to plan for it somewhat thoroughly before they hit this point in their chronicle. We are using Hunter 5th edition and its all of our first times in WoD. I come from a GURPS background, and my party is split between Pathfinder, DnD, GURPS and a load of free browsetext based RPGs.
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WhiteWolfRPG [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 01:31 kylexyz001 23 [M4F] [Relationship] Ohio/Worldwide- Let's Be Each Other's Everything (Longest post ever?)
Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like:
https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t (5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.**(6)Expectations of You (Relationship Only):**I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!
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2023.06.02 01:31 Neither_Accountant97 25 (F)4M I’m horny down to swallow loads ❤️ I'll fuck you and milk your cock, I wanna worship my ass and get freaky night hmu on Snapc::tinawillamzz
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2023.06.02 01:30 Apprehensive_Web2295 An active father with 1/3 days a year but makes 4k a month with ex who makes 8k a month. Should he really be paying 350/month for that one child and on top of that he covers her dental/medical insurance and her phone and phone bill.
Question…. As someone who really advocates for men’s rights and men’s mental health I find it highly disturbing…if a man makes 4k gross a month and also provides medical/dental insurance $160 a month for all kids, and 460 for two children a month but also pays 350 for one specific child a month. Now listen the kids 1&2 receiving 230 a month, their moms make less than 3k a month and less than 2k realistically for many years. Now, the woman of the child receiving 350 a month makes over 7k a month and doesn’t pay the child’s health/dental insurance, doesn’t pay her phone bill and that child is also with that dad paying 350/mo at least 1/3 of the year so he isn’t some weekend dad. Tell me how someone can be so greedy and entitled?!?! More importantly, DONT ALLOW IT. When i’m making 7k plus/mo and the ex is making substantially less (ie 2-3k less a month) while also having our child 1/3 of the time and being a stand-up father, then HECKKKK NOOOO I am going to request support be mute or give him whatever payments I get… back! I know i’m not your typical woman i guess and some may have opinions on support however i just think making an VERY ACTIVE dad pay support in hypothetical situations like above IS A JOKE!
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