Hilarious flirting meme

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Customer flirts with you. Did a delivery earlier, guy came out, looked me up and down and said “Oh my God, DoorDash done upgraded!”. Pretty hilarious.

Tl;DR Had an "argument" (she was laughing the whole time, we both were, it was pretty funny) about whether I should be trying to flirt with people in a bar and then I said I never dated before or anything which got her shocked and said "okay someone here finds you attractive" and grabbed my hand and started dragging me around (30M) to every table. I'm pretty sure I'm known as the local creep now but I'm not sure. I was about 4 drinks in, which is a lot for me, when this happened so I'm not sure if everything is totally correct.
There's a bar I like to go to near my house. I go there myself and when it closes (around 2) I bring my dog by and all the staff form a conga line to pet him and give him bacon while he very happily lays there getting pet. I'm decent friends with the bartenders I think I have a few of their numbers.
One of the bartenders is is an absolute magnet for women, over the course of last night there were like 4 women who threw themselves at him. I just like to sit there and see what happens because it's hilarious. I'm very...not talkative so I just watch. Sometimes the bartender attempts to introduce people to me but you can tell they're only kind of receptive, they're there to talk to him they have absolutely no desire to talk to me.
At near the end of the night there was one woman who was getting a lot of interest from a lot of guys (she was trying to talk to the bartender and they really liked each other obviously) so I asked her if that was annoying and she said kind of. I think I described it as "There was like a conga line of dudes one after the other trying to talk to you" and that made her laugh. And it really was a literal conga line for like an hour or two while she tried to talk to the bartender. But that she also kind of expects it and I said yeah I'm not about to hit on anyone here look at me. She replied it was about confidence, and I replied "I don't think so I think if I was as confident as [bartender name] and came up to you I'd get a very very different response" and she laughed (very drunk) and said very true and then I made the mistake of saying I never dated or done anything like that, nobody finds me attractive.
She started laughing grabbed my hand (and I'm pretty sure that's why I didn't stop her, that's never happened before) and basically dragged me around to everyone who was still in the bar at the time (it gets super crowded but they start clearing people out so there was like probably 10 groups in there like 40-60 people only) and basically dragged me over to random women and said "HEY THIS IS MY FRIEND [name] DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM" and then when they said no (or basically indicated no by body language) off we went to the next while I just kind of was dragged along behind her.
Once we had gone through literally everyone (I think?) we went back to our seats and she flirted with [bartender] a bit more and was weirdly cheery, I'm not really sure how she did that tbh, and said it's okay we'll help you, we'll figure this out are you hanging out with [bartender] we can all hang out and figure it out here's my number and she gave me her phone and I texted her so that's cool I guess...
But at the same time I feel humiliated being dragged around like that to random women who didn't want to talk to me . I'm not sure if it's going to give me a reputation in the bar or anything because I like sitting there on fridays and reading, I don't want people to like think I'm that creepy.

Some background: I was this guy’s boss for a few years, some years ago now. I’m in my 40’s - introverted, awkward, nerdy, not traditionally attractive by any means. He’s in his 30’s - hot, buff, outgoing, charismatic, and hilarious. When we worked together I always secretly had the hots for him, but we were both in relationships and I was his boss so I always kept everything strictly professional. It was one of those situations though where if, being the anxious weirdo that I am, I accidentally brushed his hand while handing him something, or if he caught me staring at him a little too long, I would turn beet red and get all flustered. I was just insanely attracted to this unobtainable man, but I did my best to put it out of my head and maintain a professional work environment.
We ended up both leaving that job a few years ago. I stayed with the company in a different department and he moved on.
So, I make a habit of giving all my directs my cell in case they need to call off or if there’s an emergency. I still have this practice today with my directs and for the most part, nobody abuses it. However, randomly last fall while I’m trying to get up the courage to leave my long term abusive relationship, my hot (now single), former employee texts me out of nowhere. We start chatting about random stuff. Mostly bitching about our jobs and chatting about some common interests. We chat relatively regularly, exchanging memes and shooting the shit.
Fast forward a few months. My relationship ended, I’d been single a couple months and my new buddy and I somehow end up sexting until 3 in the morning. It was completely out of the blue, too and ended up being a one time thing. He makes it clear he’s not looking to start seeing anyone, including me, and we table it as a one-off drunken mistake. My anxious ass absolutely obsesses about this for half a goddamned year, trying to maintain the friendship without making things weird.
Fast forward to 2 nights ago when he propositions me - once again out of the blue. We weren’t even sexting or flirting - I was bragging about how good of a cook I am. After approximately three seconds of hesitation on my part, I’m like “fuck it, let’s do this”. He shows up at mine shortly before midnight.
I had built up in my head what hooking up with my now-friend would be like - imagined it, berated myself for imagining it, and convinced myself it would never happen. I expected it to be intense and overwhelming; a quick fuck and then a goodbye. Instead it was awkward and weirdly tender. It was also stupid hot and hours long and he slept over. He made me feel sexy and I haven’t felt sexy in a long, long time. I feel on top of the world and I’m still riding that high.
I have no idea what’s going to happen next, but I’m sure it won’t be what I expect.

What's the most unexpected thing you've ever found in food?

What's the most impressive talent you have?

Welcome to the subreddit of hilarious classic memes where dead or old memes come to play bingo.

What's the most awkward date you've ever been on?

Postgame Thread 6/3/2023

Final Score: Orioles 3, Giants 2
Purpose of this thread

• Discuss developing baseball action LIVE
  
• Discuss the Giants game
  
• Post hilarious memes / images / gifs / information that may not deserve a front-page post of its own. If it's big news, feel free to do both! This, and the gameday thread, are good places to post your Dodger jokes and memes.
  
• Discuss ANYTHING as long as it follows the rules of conduct.
  

Highlights

Description	Length	Video
Bullpen availability for San Francisco, June 2 vs Orioles	0:07	Video
Bullpen availability for Baltimore, June 2 vs Giants	0:07	Video
Fielding alignment for Baltimore, June 2 vs Giants	0:11	Video
Fielding alignment for San Francisco, June 2 vs Orioles	0:11	Video
Starting lineups for Orioles at Giants - June 2, 2023	0:09	Video
The distance behind LaMonte Wade Jr.'s home run	0:12	Video
LaMonte Wade Jr.'s home run through bat tracking data	0:09	Video
Measuring the stats on Gunnar Henderson's home run	0:11	Video
Analyzing Gunnar Henderson's home run through bat tracking	0:09	Video
Breaking down Dean Kremer's pitches	0:08	Video
Dean Kremer's outing against the Giants	0:23	Video
Breaking down Logan Webb's pitches	0:08	Video
Logan Webb's outing against the Orioles	0:22	Video
LaMonte Wade Jr. hammers a solo homer to right field	0:24	Video
Ryan O'Hearn grounds an RBI single up the middle	0:17	Video
Jorge Mateo dribbles an RBI infield knock	0:25	Video
Giants fans cheer as the Splash counter hits 100	0:46	Video
Orioles nab Wisely at home after a single from Davis	0:24	Video
Yastrzemski's RBI double	0:19	Video
Giants challenge a safe call on a Mateo steal attempt	0:30	Video
Gunnar Henderson drills a go-ahead home run in 7th	0:25	Video
Crawford robs Rutschman of a hit with a stellar play	0:19	Video
Brett Wisely takes a homer away from Aaron Hicks	0:25	Video

Nominate your Player of the Game (POTG). Upvote your choice if it's posted, or add your own!
For more off-topic fun, check out /SFGSocial!

What is the most meaningful or sentimental gift you have ever received?

Have you ever tried a "ghost pepper" and if so, what was your experience like?

So, this happened a few years ago when I was working at a Dairy Queen. It was the 2nd job I've ever had and I wasn't very experienced with much of anything, but making Blizzards was surprisingly easy and actually kinda fun! Issue was my co-worker, let's call him Pillsbury. Pillsbury was a year or two younger than me, but because he worked there ONE more month than me he had this attitude of being superior despite having the personality of mosquito larvae. He'd always dawdle on tasks, take ages to reply to anything, and usually flirted with girls in the back while playing on his phone. Well, one day I noticed him subtly flicking bits of our cookie dough bits into another poor girls hair and because her hair was long and a bit wavy (she worked register so not really any reto tie it up) she didn't notice a thing. Well I've had enough of this stereotypical douchebag so I started doing the same to his own dumb broccoli hair (y'know, the average white guy douchebag cut that's been making the rounds lately). He also didn't notice anything until I accidentally flicked one right into his mouth after he unexpectedly turned around. He choked a bit before getting all pissy with me where I just shrugged and said "Your fault for not noticing." at which point he seemed to catch on and pulled a wad of maybe 20 bits of dough from his hair. Fortunately, he's not smart, and ended up just dragging at all through his hair and making a HUGE mess. My wonderful manager came to me later that day and said, while it was hilarious and deserved (he watched everything almost on the camers), he'd have to write me up. The girl apparently wasn't too mad about it because she wanted an excuse to get a pixie cut anyway, but nontheless his actions bothered me so there we go.
Edit: Kinda hope Rslash finds this, lol
Extra edit: Please feel free to point out typos, I have a habit of typing too fast and I'm not great at spelling to begin with 😅

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Hey nerds
I would like to make a meme Atogatog deck to bust out every once in awhile for some laughs. Looking for some ideas/ deck techs on how to combo out with constantly sacrificing and bringing back my permanents. I thought it would be hilarious to eat my entire board and tutor up a [[Barren Glory]] for the win. Or maybe just pump [[Atogatog]] up and swing in for massive commander damage.
Please share your decklists/ideas!

The ledges he goes out on are so insane and old, I couldn’t believe the shit he was arguing for in the last Improper Improv. The way he kept flirting with Mel was making my skin crawl. Like I get it you’re 60 but that doesn’t excuse you shamelessly making people feel uncomfortable with your shitty opinions.he needs to be like a once a month guest on improper improv or something because I can’t listen to his geriatric tangents. They need a segment where he says his crazy old man shit and they explain to him why you can’t say shit like that. Flip actually did a great job breaking down his argument and telling him why his opinion on Eric garner and Rodney king is wrong.
Side note: I’ve never seen Parks turn so red as he did when Shammy said what he said about Rodney King. Hilarious. You don’t want to be involved in that.

How do I convince my brother that hate is not the answer? My (25M) brother (27M) and I grew up Presbyterian. We also grew up in a relatively conservative small town. While I ended up going to college for biology, he joined the marines and is now back trying to become a firefighteemt.
My views have changed a decent amount since I was a child, but I don’t identify as either super far right or left. I believe in science, and I believe that people should be free to do as they please so long as they’re not hurting anyone else.
My brother, on the other hand, was always a pretty mean hearted person in my opinion. He has anger issues, and has a history of saying offensive things in person and online to evoke reactions from people for his entertainment.
On occasion he’ll still make offensive jokes and send me memes that are anti gay, race related, etc. Most of the time I ignore them, but last week he sent some meme about “klling them all” in reference to trans people. He said that he was thankful that *insert word here do most of the work themselves by means that I’m sure you all know about. I told him that was wrong and he said verbatim, “guess I’m wrong then, I think it’s hilarious and can’t get enough of it.” And “42% is too low.”
I was deeply disturbed by this and tried to reason with him. He flipped the whole debate into how trans people are evil and how groomers are converting these children and how giving groomers even an inch is a betrayal to younger generations. He also said that a crusaders approach needs to be taken and that he would never feel bad taking pleasure in the “defeat of Gods enemies.” He said it was “creepy that I was defending them.”
I don’t claim to be an expert on the Bible, but is this not disturbingly wrong? Even if being trans is a sin in the Bible, how could you possibly justify thinking that a child is evil and needs to die bc they’re trans?
That debate baffled me as i knew he was always an offensive jerk, but that fact that he stood his ground on the basis that he is a righteous person feels incredibly wrong to me.
TLDR: my brother has a hatred for trans people, and justifies it with religion. I can’t convince him otherwise.

Who remembers chat rooms. The fun kinds without the creepy predators. That's what a married group chat is all about..we weed out the duds for you
We're a community of married people who found ourselves in one place. Whether it's to make friends, forge a new connection in a safe friendly environment or break up the day...we have it. For some it's a secret, for others they're open. We don't let in couples that share a profile due to consent issues (consent is key in our book) nor are you expected to bring your partner or any other friends (unless you like us...then that's pretty cool).
We're an active group that's fueled by caffeine and sarcasm. Although we have our spicier moments with occasional games and themes, you won't find a pickle pic here, nor do we take kindly to lurkers and people that conveniently "pop in" at the right time. We're friendly, not thirsty, your ultimate hype team. All we ask from you is that you're active and respect our rules.
We like; nerds, food, accents (we have members worldwide), sharing our days and lots and lots of coffee. We love faces so if that's your limit and you don't want to share yours then it's not going to be the group for you
We do; occasional games and themes (no pressure on anyone, your comfort level is your own but don't judge anyone elses), share memes and banter, flirt and share music (our shared Spotify playlist is a wild ride)
We've worked hard to make this a safe supportive environment for everyone. We don't do drama and we don't do egos so check all that at the door.
Please be 25+, Married (no LTR, engagements please) and have a love for socializing with fellow people in the same kinda situation.
Send me a message if you're interested. I do try not to add too many new people at once because it can be a bit much for our current members so just bear with me