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2014.02.13 22:31 artisurn Cremation: Discussion & Cremation
Respectful discussion on the topic of cremation for your loved ones and pets.
2023.05.30 23:22 NinjaRadiographer John Wicks entire Timeline from Chapter 1 to Chapter 4 (updated) Part 1 of 2 (Chapters 1 and 2)
So, I had quite a few messages from people asking when I was going to update this to include chapter 4 and finally it was released on download in the UK (29th) so I could finally watch it and get around to it because I haven’t seen it until now. I’ve kept the original timeline here because I’m quite happy with it and I’m just adding on Chapter 4. I will add someone messaged me that during chapter 3 when the assassins are getting the kill order to kill John there’s a brief shot of an assassin’s phone saying the date was December. I’m happy to go with this because I think the first 3 films are set around October-November time but we see no x-mas stuff anywhere in chapter 1 to 3 so its debateable if you want to call this an x-mas film like Die Hard. Also, I watched an interview with the director this morning and he states that he thinks the first 3 films are about a week and a half but wasn’t certain which I feel gives my timeline some authenticity and accuracy.
P.s Ive had to break this down into two parts because the character limit is 40,000 characters and ive gone well over that
Warning Major Major spoilers for these films are here because I detail out the plot as I go.
A couple of assumptions are made. Fights scenes are probably longer than we seen on screen and often because of the pacing of the film we don’t need to see John get from point A to B. Conversations also probably took longer than we see if they are walking from area to area and discussing things. Location distances also take time to get to and from places and I don’t know where locations in New York and around the world are so I’ve made a lot up at a best sort of guess. Sometimes I’ve used what I think when there’s no real reference in the film to how long something took for instance for the time of day, I’ve looked at the skyline in the background and estimated what time of day it is judging by how much sunlight there is. Basically, I’ve guestimated a lot. Chapter 4 was a lot harder as they kept moving countries and places and its probably longer than I’ve made it. Also, some of the fight scenes are longer than the time they actually show in the film (6 minute fight is 13minutes in the film) so take everything with a pinch of salt.
TLDR: The films start in the mid-late autumn judging by the scenes that we see.
John Wick 1 starts on Monday Day 1 at 6am and ends Saturday Day 6 at 3.45am (6 Days).
John Wick Chapter 2 starts on Monday Day 8 at 10pm and ends Friday Day 13 at 5pm (5 Days).
John Wick Chapter 3 starts on Friday Day 13 at 5pm and ends Sunday Day 22 at 7.05am (9 Days).
John Wick Chapter 4 starts on Monday Day 205 at 7.20 pm (6 months later) and ends unofficially on Thursday Day 221 at 6.11am (when John passes out (16 days)) and officially at Thursday Day 228 12.00pm (23 Days).
John does have periods of down time and rest so it’s safe to assume he goes to the toilet in that time and maybe brushes his teeth once in a while
The first Film starts on a Monday. Not because there’s any reference to days of the week in the films (there wasn’t that I could find) but because, in my opinion, nothing good ever happens on a Monday.
John Wick Chapter 1
Monday Day 1 6am.
· John in his bathroom and has a flash back of his wife’s illness and death (assumption is made that this has happened over the past 6 months or so).
· Funeral of his wife. Marcus arrives “Just checking up on an old friend”.
· Wake at Johns house.
· People leave say 8-9pm ish
· Daisy the Dog is delivered and John reads Helens letter.
· John and Daisy got to bed at 10.54pm (clock on the bed).
Tuesday Day 2 6am.
· John wakes at 6am.
· Get the paper and the dog goes to the toilet, coffee and breakfast.
· Gets in car
· Getting petrol (assumption its about an hour after they’ve left prob around 8am) and meets the Russians arrive. Losef meets John “I love dogs”, “Beautiful car how much?”, “Not for sale.” “Not this bitch”. Victor arrives “You have a good day sir”.
· John leaves for the airfield- Crazy driving trying to/not to kill himself.
· Next scene is evening (don’t have time base upon previous night) in bed so assumption was that he went to be around 11pm.
Wednesday Day 3 Early am.
· Dog wakes John early am.
· John goes downstairs – Russians attack john, smash his stuff and kill the dog “Sleep tight bitch”.
· John wakes probably an hour or so later and cradles the dog.
· John buries the dog early am (judging by the skyline)
· 6.19am the alarm gets turned off.
· Angry cleaning with flash backs.
· Russians take Johns car to Aureilo’s garage (assumption is made that its around 8am and that it takes at least an hou maybe 2 to get there. Seeing as they stole it before 5am I assume that they took it for a joy ride and did doughnuts for a while first). “I want new vin numbers and new papers”- “Where did you get that car?” (John most likely still cleaning at this time) “Get it out of my shop” “We own you” Aureilo slaps Losef “Viggo not going to like this”.
· 5pm deduced from John leaving in car in next scene it’s probably taken all day to clean up and then he had to get the bus. John arrives at Aureilos garage after taking the bus “Is it here?”, “It was.”, “Losef Tarasov nicked it.”, “Viggo’s son?”, “I need a ride.”.
· John leaves in borrowed car around 6pm.
· Evening, not long after, Aureilo gets a call from Viggo (skyline time of day deduction) “I heard you struck my son. May I ask why?”
· Viggo to Avi “Have you seen my son?”.
· About 7.30pm Losef arrives (most likely he spent all day stashing the car with his uncle from John Wick 2 and hanging out).
· Viggo beats Losef. “What did I do” “That fucking nobody was John Wick” Explanation of the Bogey man and killing 3 men with a pencil.
· At the same time John is at home and goes into the basement with a sledgehammer smashes the floor and gets his equipment.
· 30 mins later Viggo gets his phone book and calls John. John hangs up.
· Viggo tasks a crew.
· John has a shower and suits up.
· Viggo sits by the fire.
· Juging by the light its 10pm ish when the kill crew arrives. (This doesn’t quite work because the house exterior shot is quite bright but when the crew arrives its dark night).
· The crew attack John and John kills the crew (due to films cuts to keep the action it probably takes about 20 minutes. Time enough for a noise complaint to be made).
· Jimmy the police officer arrives at 10.30 “Evening John”, “Noise complaint”, “You working again John?”.
· John goes downstairs and makes a dinner reservation for 12 (the amount of people he’s killed not the time).
· Assumption is made that it’s 1 hour for Charlie and the clean up crew to arrive at about 11.30.
· Assumption it takes 2 hours to clean the house of blood and bodies.
Thursday Day 4 1.30am
· Clean up crew leave about 1.30am.
· Viggo is still in front of the fire and is informed of the failure of the kill crew. The contract is put on Johns head for $2Million (the light in the room shot is bright he’s prob been there all night debating if he should put out the contract)
· Assumption is 6am John loads bags into car and drives to the Continental.
· Judging by the light its around 8am Viggo arrives at Marcus’s house whilst he’s cutting veg and juicing. “Would you kill John Wick for $2 million?”.
· Marcus cleans and polishes his guns after Viggo leaves.
· John arrives at the Continental at 8.30am (assumption).
· Perkins greets John. Concierge (Charon) “I have you for 2 nights sir”.
· Cuts to evening say 8pm assumption is John had some sleep.
· John looks at video of his wife and then goes downstairs to the bar and sees Winston “Johnathan as I recall wern’t you the one tasked to doll out the beating?”.
· (At the same time) Viggo learns that John is at the Continental “We have a contact there who is willing to take him out for us”.
· John is still talking to Winston. “Have a drink and relax…for now.”.
· John goes to the bar “It’s been 5 with change”. (Length of time John’s been a free man and Viggo has been in serious business learned).
· John gets Losef’s location with his drink “Compliments of the house”.
· John leaves the bar at 8.15 (assumption all this took 15 mins)
· John goes upstairs and suits up and we learn Losef is being guarded in a nightclub.
· John arrives at the nightclub. I’m assuming that it took an hour to suit up and 45 minutes to get to the club therefore its around 10pm-10.15 pm.
· John gets the drop on Francis the big bouncer that’s lost weight and gets inside.
· John kills Victor and lots of people in the spar area.
· John makes his way upstairs and enters the pool area where Losef is. This is most likely on the top floor. The way the films cuts means it probably took 30-45 mins to get up there and find him its about 11pm.
· John kills lots of people.
· Losef runs onto the dancefloor.
· John kills lots of people on the dancefloor, atrium and balcony.
· Losef escapes in a car driven by Gregori.
· John leaves with a phone call to Losef. (the fights probably took 30 mins so its around 11.30pm.
Friday Day 5 12.15am.
· John arrives back at the Continental 45 minutes later at 12.15am. “Is the doctor in?”.
· Assumption is the Doctor took 20 minutes to arrives and 30 minutes patching up John the time is probably around 1.05am
· Marcus arrives on the roof opposite and gets John in his sights.
· John tries to sleep.
· Perkins enters the room.
· Marcus shoots the pillow warning John.
· Perkins and John fight “Viggos giving me $4 million to break hotel rules”. The phone rings as the concierge rings.
· John beats Perkins and answers the phone (noise complaint).
· Marcus leaves.
· Perkins tries to crawl away. Pekins tells John about the Little Russia Church front.
· Harry holds up John “Catch and release”.
· Cut to Morning of Day 5. Bright light indicates its around 9am. John is at the Church who takes the pills for fully mobility, then kills lots of people and destroys the vault stash using the priest (probably takes about 30minutes).
· John leaves and then goes to a roof top to wait.
· No indication of how long until Viggo arrives I assume its an hour so the time is 10.30.
· Viggo arrives and kill the priest. Perkins escapes and kills Harry at around the same time).
· John attacks Viggo as he leaves the church.
· John Wick kills a lot of people
· John gets hit by a car, knocked out and captured by Viggo and wakes up tied to a chair in the church. The fight was about 10 minutes he’s been unconscious about 20 minutes so the time is 11pm “Yeah I’m thinking I’m back”.
· Marcus has already arrived (no idea when) and shoots the thugs chocking John. John escapes, kills other thug, frees his hands, runs out, chases down Viggos car killing thug driving it.
· Viggo gives up his son and pull the contract on John. (whole thing probably took 5 minutes).
· Cut to Losef in a Brooklyn safehouse. Not knowing where John actually is let’s say it took him an hour to go straight there so the time when John arrives is 12.05.
· Judging by the fact that explosives are set and it takes time to get into position its probably 12.45
· John kills guard and snipes Gregori playing COD at 12.45pm
· John snipers lots of people.
· John kills guard watching Losef.
· John kill Losef at 1.00pm
· Viggo finds out Losef is dead probably 30 mins later at around 1.30pm “Make the arrangements”.
· Cut to John checking out of the Continental (It’s only been 1 night). Prob took him an hour to be there and an hour to clean up and pack however when he leaves its getting dark so he probably fixed himself up and rested for a while and so the time is around 5pm.
· John gets a new car and meets Marcus around 5.30-6pm “How many times do I have to save your ass?”.
· Perkins watches them and turns Marcus in (assumed but likely).
· Cut to night so 8pm ish. Marcus walks home and Viggo and his thugs surround him.
· John driving home gets aphonecall on his mobile from Viggo. Shows scene of Viggo having bruised knuckles from beating Marcus so assume 1 hour has passed (9pm).
· Marcus tries to escape. Perkins wounds him and Viggo kills him so Marcus dies around 9.15pm “Well played old friend”.
· John turns the car around and Viggo leaves “Fuel the chopper”.
· 45 mnutes-1 hour later John arrives at Marcus’s house (10.15pm).
· Concierge calls Perkins who watches John arrives.
· John finds Marcus.
· John leaves (not shown and Perkins leaves)
· Perkins arrives (no time reference so assume 30 mins) to meet the concierge and has her membership to the Continental revoked at 10.45pm. Clean up crew arrives.
· Couple of minutes must have passed. Ohn is called by Winston to tell him where Viggo is.
· John drives like a nutcase and crashes into Viggo at docks probably 45 minutes away so it’s 11.30.
· John kills many people with his car and guns.
· Viggo tres to kill John with his car and the stands waiting for him. “No more guns John. No more Bullets”.
· John kills Viggo 5 minutes later. The whole fight from his car arriving to Viggo dying was about 30 minutes so the time is 00.05am on Day 6.
Saturday Day 6 00.05am
· John kills Viggo at 00.05am “Be seeing you John.”.
· John gets up and leaves taking Viggos cars.
· Opening scene of John crashing into the vets. John is unconscious. He could have been out for a while so im assuming 3 hours because it’s still night.
· John breaks into vets and treats himself (probably 30 minutes).
· John rescues his dog (another 10 minutes).
· John leaves and walks home with his new dog at 3.45am on Saturday Day 6 since his wife’s funeral.
John Wick Chapter 2
John Wick Chapter 2 starts with him chasing down a motor cyclist whilst he looking for his car. We know that this film is a direct continuation of the first film so we can assume that a little time has passed for him to heal, bond with the dog and make investigations into where his car is (this is probably because he’s not the type to stop for anything judging by the first film). Assuming that he took a day to rest and make investigations its probably been 2 days since the end of John Wick so we start on Monday Day 8 since his wife’s funeral at 10 pm because its night in the opening scene and it all fits nicely with the idea that the first film is a week long.
Monday Day 8 10pm
· John chases down biker in Aureilo’s borrowed car. (We never actually see what became of it in the first film because he gets a new car due to “Last nights unpleasantness” with Perkins in the first film as he checks out. Probably takes about 30 minutes.
· John hits the biker, takes the gold card and heads to Abrams Warehouse. He arrives say 30 minutes later.
· “My fucking nephew killed a dog and stole a car”. John arrives, kills thugs and looks for his car (30 mins).
· John calls Abram “You have my car”.
· John finds the car and takes it back.
· John uses his car to try and escape and kill people.
· John kills lots of people (approx. 30 minutes has passed).
· John makes peace with abram at 00.00am.
· John leaves and takes his car.
Tuesday Day 9 7.30am
· Johns car is wrecked and he gets home in the morning. Judging by the light I’d say early morning. We know he lives about 2 hours from the city so assuming it took 7 hours and 30 mins (shown in a later scene) to get home because his car was barely crawling up the driveway (being a man of focus he was getting that car back).
· John goes and cleans up. The clock on his table says 7.30am. Showers and sleeps.
· Next scene is Aureilo arriving to pick up Johns car. I’m assuming its mid to late afternoon around 4.30pm. John is playing with his dog and we have a continuity error here because in John Wick 1 the dog was a puppy and here it is clearly an older dog but ‘Im choosing to ignore this because movie land reasons.
· Cut to next scene. John cleans up his suit and sorts out the basement from the first film. He makes cement and it probably takes him 3 hours so time is 8pm.
· Santino arrives at 8pm (its night out). Coffee and conversation about markers (probably 20 minutes).
· Santino leaves and blows up Johns house.
· John sees his house burn at 8.30.
· Cut to fire engine still fighting the fire so say the response time ect is about 30 mins later. Jimmy the cop is here “Gas leak?”.
· John leaves with the dog and walks off.
Wednesday Day 10 9am.
· John arrives at the continental early morning (looks around 9am so he walked for 12 hours as busses probably aren’t running and he’s a man of focus). “How good to see you again so soon Mr Wick”.
· John meets with Winston and converse about Santino D’antonio and the marker.
· 10 minutes later John boards the dog with Charon the concierge. John leaves for the national gallery.
· Probably 30 minutes to the gallery he gets frisked and meets Santino.
· They talk about the job for 10 minutes “My hands”.
· John leaves and travels to his deposit box “59.035” say another 30 minutes to get there.
· He suits up (another 30 minutes) “happy hunting Mr Wick”.
· Next scene hes in Rome so assuming an hour to the airport. Google tells me New York to Rome direct is an 8 hours and 15 minutes flight and an hour to the continental of Rome meaning total travel time is 10 hours and 15minutes because he had no delays or hold ups and everything happened perfectly because its movieland and therefore assuming every part of his trip was flawless. Rome is 6 hours behind New York (thanks to google again) so John arrives at his destination at 2.25 pm Rome time which fits with the film.
Wednesday Day 10 8.25pm USA, 2.25pm Rome.
· John is observed by Ayres the mute woman arriving at the Continental. “Welcome to the Continental of Rome”.
· He meets the manager “are you here for the pope?”.
· Next scene John is getting supplies and equipment. He must have checked in so I assume its an hour later.
· Suit, Guns and catacomb plans must have taken some time, Rush suit could have taken an hour to measure and 4 hours to make, Guns must have taken an hour along with the catacombs “Mr Wick do enjoy your party”.
· Ayres watches John leave 3 hours later.
· John suits up that night say 8pm Rome time (Which is Thursday Day 11 2am USA time)
· John enters the catacombs and takes about an hour and 30 mins to reach his target whilst leaving his weapons around.
· Gianna enjoys her party and meets Mr Riconi and then leaves to freshen her makeup.
· 10.30 Rome John meets Gianna in the bathroom. They talk for 10 minutes and she slits her wrists. John shoots her and leaves.
· John bumps into Cassian “You working?” they shoot each other and John runs.
· John kills a lot of people escaping.
· Cassian find Gianna.
· John gets to catacombs and meets Ayres “Loose ends?”.
· John kills a lot of people It takes about 30 minutes for John to escape the catacombs from killing Gianna.
· Cassian tries to run John over. They fight and crash through the window of the Continental. They wernt far from it so its assumed Joh had been walking for 20 minutes and they were fighting for 10 mins. Hey crash through about 11.40pm Rome which again fits with the film.
· In the bar they talk for about 5 minutes. Cassian leaves and Ayres is there as John goes to bed “Not if I see you first”.
· Its about 00.00am when Santino phones. John hangs up on him. Santino calls the exchange and puts a bounty on John. John phones the desk and says he’ll check out in the morning. So all this makes the time Thursday Day 11 0.005 am Rome and Thursday Day 11 6 am USA. The text messages go out at this time because they would have done it then and there was no delay despite this being shown in a later scene.
· Next scene is early AM assumed around 6am because that’s when John usually gets up so its Thursday Day 11 6am Rome and 12pm USA. John sorts his stuff and is escorted out by the manager “May you have a safe journey Mr Wick”.
· It takes 10 hours and 15 minutes to get back to New York making it 10.15pm. Cassian is seen in New York so it’s assumed he got the contract text and headed to the airport straightaway to beat John back knowing he wouldn’t be able to get him in Rome.
Thursday Day 11 10.15pm.
· Santino completes the marker book “you stabbed the devil in the back”.
· John walks through Chinatown and the train station, kills lots of people (some with a pencil) and finally faces Cassian on the tube where he stabs him in the Aorta as a professional courtesy. Judging by how beat up he is and how many people he faced it probably took him 2 and a half hours.
Friday Day 12 00.45am
· John escapes 2 assassins at the train station and gets taken by the homeless man to the Bowery King.
· Its early am say around 7 am when John wakes up. Hes had medicine and has been patched up so therefore its Friday Day 12 7am. John and the king talk for an Hourish “$7 million Dollars gets you 7 rounds”.
· John leaves for Santinos coronation.
· John arrives at the NYM meausum Mirror art exhibit . No way to judge it so im guessing it took 3 hours having traveled by tunnels and sewer making it about 11am.
· Santino sees john.
· John kills lots of people probably takes about an hour.
· Santino escapes and runs to the continental John kill Ayres at 12.00pm
· John follows Santino to the Continental which probably took an hour to get to as Santino was eating and waiting for John.
· John arrives at the hotel and kills Santino at 1pm whilst eating lunch “What have you done?”.
· John leaves, collects his dog and goes home.
· The next scene is a bit difficult to place John sits in his ruined house looking at his wifes necklace and its raining. He could have walked for 12 hours but its more likely (as he’s in the next part of the scene) that the concierge took him and waited for a call. This doesn’t quite fit as the conversation about the dog staying with him implys that he had just arrived but im assuming that john was mute the whole way there in the car. “Would you be so enclined”.
· They travel back 2 hours (2 hours there 2 hours back) which makes it exactly 5pm when they reach Winston.
· Theres a continuity error here as John Wick 3 starts at 5pm but Winstons watch clearly shows 4pm in this scene I imagine his battery has died an hour before is all I can think of.
· Wick and Winston talk and John gets a marker and the starts running “I’ll kill them all”.
· Here ends John Wick Chapter 2 Friday Day 13 at 5pm.
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2023.05.30 23:16 Alli-exe WIBTA for wanting to kick my uncle out of my grandmother’s house?
My (26F) uncle (don’t know his age but he is grown enough to be my father) stays in the house owned by my grandmother, my mother, and now my siblings and I (19M and 22F). It’s a 4-bed house with a garden and when my grandmother passed away, my mother allowed him to live there for 3k a month. I am South African, so let me tell you this is absolute pennies for rent, even if the neighbourhood is a teensy bit sketchy (for my fellow SAns, it’s in Bosmont). My mother’s family came from very little, and that house means a lot to us. I moved out of my family home after my mother passed away because I needed space to deal with my issues with my family away from them. I have since moved back home, but I am already desperate to move back out and have my own space. We are considering fixing up the house to rent out but someone would need to stay there while repairs are underway, and since Uncle has lost his job, and can’t even afford to pay those peanuts, I am considering giving him a month’s notice to find a new place. I’m part, his losing his job was the first irk I caught. It happened in the first month we were upping his rent since he moved in. He did not tell me, he came to speak to my father; and relied on him to convey this news even though I came home during this conversation. He is not close to us at all. Didn’t even come by after my mother’s funeral, and we have no relationship with him. I should also mention that he was fired from his job after a sexual harassment allegation (which he is adamant was a misunderstanding and has even gone we far as to take them to the CCMA) He has also very nearly cost us the house by lying about paying his rates and taxes, and my father has come home fuming about the state of the house when he has gone to visit my uncle. I don’t want to kick a man out when he’s clearly got few other options, and my motivation for moving back into the house I grew up in were that I could be closer and more available to my family. But I also feel no inclination to make this decision based around a grown man infamously known for his poor sense of responsibility and dishonesty. We would have substantially more space (which was a big contributor to family squabbles no matter how much we do love each other) and I could have my independence back. The house is paid up and only utilities and such would cost me. I am a musician and currently finishing my studies to qualify as a therapist so as you can imagine, I’m not exactly rolling in dough. Family is important to us, but I will not give up something left to me, least of all for a creepy deadbeat of a man I have zero relationship with outside of funerals and weddings. My parents worked so hard for the 3 of us to have first world privileges, and I think this is one of the few I really want to cling to. However, since it is a decision my siblings and I need to make, we wanted to know if we would be the assholes for kicking him out.
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2023.05.30 22:58 10Kfireants Shiv can still work for Waystar Roco Gojo
Everyone keeps saying Shiv is just like Caroline now -- the wife of the CEO -- OR that she could get back into politics or do her own thing.
She could do all that, but everyone seems to forget she and Tom have been colleagues the whole series. Karolina gave Shiv a heads up about Hugo acting different before the board vote, and the FIRST person Tom asked for was Karolina, as if Shiv gave briefed him as soon as she cast her vote.
Yes, they've both gunned for the top position and thrown each other under the bus doing it. But I don't see why she can't, at the very least, switch roles with Tom and gun for something high-up-ish in the company, like he did with the television division or any other roles?
Matsson never told Tom he didn't want Shiv anywhere , just not in the top spot. In fact, even when he was saying he wants to fuck her, he was speaking highly of her business-wise; not about firing her. She just wasn't the person for CEO.
AND if you think switching to her brothers' side for a few hours would ruin her employment chances, that doesn't track at all with the show. Everyone from Frank to KENDALL got as far as they did after blatant betrayals and fuckery. Tom congratulated Greg on his first blackmailing. And Matsson said nothing about Shiv after she flipped -- it was Greg he called Judas and Greg still has a job. If anything, Matsson knows why Shiv temporarily took her brothers' side and will appreciate still giving him the vote.
If nothing else, Shiv can hold her last-minute vote above Tom's and Lukas' head to get a nice spot in the company, play the card she did at the funeral that her liberal politics won't affect her loyalty to the viewers and become the absent #BossMom she promised to be. Not as CEO. But something, somewhere.
She PROBABLY would get even farther than she would ever have with Ken. Go back to those at-home work conversations with Tom as they bounce ideas off each other, or become divorced co-parent colleagues with a ton of mutual respect. It's not CEO. But it's not immediately Caroline.
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2023.05.30 22:56 ferocious_puppy Eulogy for my Father
My father passed away last month at the age of 60. Although he had a number of illnesses, with one being from a young age, his death was unexpected. This is incredibly hard to come to terms with as I expect anyone on this subreddit would appreciate. Reading posts of some people on here who have lost loved ones at a young age or in terrible circumstances puts my loss in perspective but its still no less raw or devastating. I read a eulogy at my fathers funeral which I'm going to add below. It's long and most people won't read it but I just want to tell as many people as possible how amazing my father was. I have omitted any names from the eulogy and replaced with NAME. I will say though my dads name was Mark and I hope anyone who reads this sees how incredible he was.
Thank you all for coming.
My Dad was the person I looked up to the most, especially the older I got where I grew to appreciate the incredible man he was and how he lived his life. He had things very hard from a young age with multiple conditions, but he never let that define him. He appreciated the good things in his life, and not once did I ever hear him dwell on the bad that happened to him, his attitude was always to enjoy what he could surrounded by the people he loved for as long as he could no matter what was thrown his way. My dad possessed many qualities which include being kind, thoughtful, funny, loving and he is the strongest person mentally I’ve ever met and I’m proud and fortunate that he was my dad. The challenge to show those qualities became harder especially in the last few years but he never stopped living and being the man he always was, laughing, joking, and enjoying himself around his family.
His sense of humour was witty and dark, and he loved to wind people up, especially my mum. Even in his final hours he had his sense of humour. He was lying in bed that morning and he had a remote to move the bed into different positions. My mum heard him call her, so she went in and the remote was on the floor. My dad said sorry NAME can you pick it up, so she did. 10 minutes later she heard my dad call her again, so she went back in, the remote was on the floor again this time my dad had a grin on his face, my mum picked it up and gave it to him and warned him not to drop it again. He did of course drop it again and my mum saw a big smile on his face like he always had as she came back in. She knew he was winding her up and was smiling as well and I’m sure my dad thought about doing it again, but he knew one more time and it would be wrapped around his neck.
Two of my oldest memories I have of my dad are of stories he liked to tell because he found them funny to talk about over the years and I know he would like me to mention them. I don’t know whether it’s a coincidence they both involve alcohol, but he was a SURNAME so of course he enjoyed a drink.
The first is when I was around 5 and my dad and I were watching tv and he was enjoying a glass of whiskey. He went out to go to the bathroom and I seized my opportunity, grabbed the whiskey, and had a swig. My Dad came back into the room with me screaming it burns it burns pointing at the glass. My dad knew what needed to be done and rushed into action grabbing a can of lager and having me drink some to get rid of the whiskey taste. It did work to be fair and when I was older, I hated whiskey and enjoyed lager, which explains a lot.
The second story I want to share is another from when I was young. My dad would always go out drinking with his brothers NAME and NAME on boxing day. It was usually a nice casual drink and a chance for them to spend time together. However, on this occasion my dad got very drunk. So drunk his brothers had to carry him home which was an incredible feat by itself as he was not a small man. What was even more impressive is they managed to get him home but avoid my mum. They achieved this by leaving him sitting by the bins outside and knocking the door and running off. I don’t blame them, and I think it was a very smart move. However, what they didn’t expect was my dad to get up and manage to fall inside the bin. That was the sight that greeted my mum.
My dad was a great father to me and my sister NAME. He was limited physically in some of the things he could do with us but he more than made up for it in other ways and he was always there for us when we needed him. The only thing my father got wrong when NAME and I were growing up in my opinion is he should have been a bit harsher on NAME. She was always terrorizing me, and I was always calm and never did anything to instigate things, but she couldn’t be stopped. I think my father showed a bit of favouritism there.
At Christmas and other occasions, he enjoyed having everyone around and eating, drinking, playing games and having fun. Trivial pursuit was something he always wanted to play, probably because he would often win. He would always play as the blue counter, his favourite colour and if my nan was there which she usually was she would go on his team as she knew he would get everything right and she could sit back and sip her dissarano. I’m sorry nan but I really don’t think your going to win many games in future.
A memory of Christmas that sticks out is when we were playing a golf game on the Nintendo wii and it was my dads go. He was very competitive and put a lot of effort into his swing as he had to make up for the fact, he was playing sitting down. On this occasion he tried a bit too hard and also forgot to tighten the strap causing the wii remote to go flying off his wrist and straight into the tv destroying the screen. I will never forget the look on his face, a combination of shock and disbelief.
My dad also enjoyed playing real golf, many times with me and his son in law NAME but always with his mum. He caught the golf bug later in life but would play almost every week, sometimes twice a week for the part of the year they could use a buggy on the course. His father also used to go with them to drive the buggy and the sight of it all on the course was terrifying for others playing. A typical sight would be his father with his sunglasses on no matter the weather, driving the buggy with my dad in front and my nan sitting at the back trying to hold on as his father drove way to fast hitting every bump he could find and just about staying upright. He would then drop them off next to their drive which had gone maybe 50 yards at most, which considering their limitations wasn’t bad. They would play their shots with his father laughing hysterically and taunting them from the buggy as their balls went another 50 yards. To just be on the golf course playing with the pain my father was in and the limitations he had was an inspiration to me. He didn’t care what anyone else thought as he was doing what he enjoyed.
There are many more memories I could talk about and many more things he enjoyed doing but we’ll be here hours if I go into everything, and nobody wants that including me. NAME will go into more of my dad’s hobbies and life later, but I hope what the memories I’ve talked about show is how my dad loved being around his family and always lived life to the fullest. I wish we had more years with him, but I can say with confidence that he was happy and content that he had an excellent life.
There are a few milestones I want to talk about that I know would be important to my dad.
My Mum and Dad met working in a bakery. The day he got married to my mum I know he would have felt so lucky to have found someone he loved and could spend his life with or as my nan put it when preparing for today, he married the best tart in the bakery. They were always there for each other, and I know my dad would have very much appreciated the emotional support she gave him especially the last few years. It wasn’t easy for her either dealing with my dad’s illness but I’m so proud of my mum and dad for how they dealt with everything. Susan and I could not have wished for better parents.
The day my sister NAME and I were both born but especially me were big moments for my dad and changed his life forever, hopefully for the better but maybe not always. Also, important moments were when his Grandchildren NAME and NAME were born who may not know how lucky they are to have had my dad around for the time they did but they will when they are older as they look back to Grampys example and guidance.
My dad was so happy that NAME and I had both found what he had with my mum. For NAME it was NAME and for me it was NAME. NAME and I have chosen the easier option of having dogs rather than children which my dad, despite saying he never wanted a dog around or had any interest in them ended up loving having both NAME and NAME around. He would play with them despite it being hard for him and enjoyed taunting them with toys and chews and they would taunt him back by leaving things just out of reach for him.
The day my sister NAME and NAME got married was an emotional and wonderful day for my dad. Getting to walk his daughter down the aisle was a happy and proud moment for him. we didn’t know if he’d be able to do it beforehand, but he wasn’t going to miss the chance, so he got through it as he always did. My dad was not known for speaking in large crowds or being confident at it, in fact it was the opposite. However, the speech he gave at NAME wedding was incredible, funny, emotional, and memorable. He spoke from the heart without anything prepared and I am so proud he not only got through it but delivered an unforgettable speech.
There was never any pressure put on me or NAME. The only thing he wanted for us was to be happy and if we were happy that was ok for him.
I want to finish by sharing what some of his closest family wanted me to say on their behalf. This is their words read out by me.
His Wife NAME says, Mark was the love of my life, my soulmate with so many happy years together. Those years were rich with happy memories with our family. No more pain and suffering now my darling, rest now. My everlasting love always.
His daughter NAME says, I could not have asked for a better dad. You were always supportive and patient in everything I did. Your Grandchildren NAME and NAME will remember you as wise and funny, you always took an interest in what they liked. I will miss you incredibly, but you will forever be in my heart.
His Mother NAME says, Words cannot say how much I will miss you. I get comfort that you are not in any pain now. Sleep my darling until we are together again.
His brother NAME says, I will love and miss you always, brother.
His Brother NAME says, Dear Brother I will start by saying at least you are now at peace and pain free. You will be deeply missed by us all, after all you were the diplomatic one of the family. Mark was the most patient and calm member of us all and nothing was any bother for him to do. Love you Mark God bless you and thank you for being my brother, Love NAME.
His Son in law NAME says, thank you for welcoming me into your family with nothing but love and kindness. We shared a love for formula 1 and I’ll think of you whenever I’m watching a race.
His Niece NAME says, Uncle Mark was always kind and caring to me and you could tell how much he loved his family. Whenever I visited and complained about something he always found a way to spin it in a positive light and give me a new perspective. My last memory is of him in his chair putting his jumper on which got stuck after his arms were through. He made me jump because I thought he was headless and gave us all a good laugh. I feel lucky to have had him as an uncle.
Finally, for me he was my hero. I owe him everything. I couldn’t have wished for a better man to look up to and learn from. My respect for how he lived his life despite the challenges he faced is immeasurable. He never complained, never worried, never gave up, he lived his life to the maximum he could, doing the things he enjoyed around the people he loved right until the very end.
Dad I’m going to miss you beyond words and its going to be hard, but I will draw from what you taught me and live my life the best I can. It is said that a person is never truly gone as long as they are still talked about. Well, the impact You had on those around you means stories of you will be passed down for generations. The memories I have of you will stay in my head and the love and respect I have for you will remain in my heart forever.
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2023.05.30 22:55 ferocious_puppy Eulogy for my Father
My father passed away last month at the age of 60. Although he had a number of illnesses, with one being from a young age, his death was unexpected. This is incredibly hard to come to terms with as I expect anyone on this subreddit would appreciate. Reading posts of some people on here who have lost loved ones at a young age or in terrible circumstances puts my loss in perspective but its still no less raw or devastating. I read a eulogy at my fathers funeral which I'm going to add below. It's long and most people won't read it but I just want to tell as many people as possible how amazing my father was. I have omitted any names from the eulogy and replaced with NAME. I will say though my dads name was Mark and I hope anyone who reads this sees how incredible he was.
Thank you all for coming.
My Dad was the person I looked up to the most, especially the older I got where I grew to appreciate the incredible man he was and how he lived his life. He had things very hard from a young age with multiple conditions, but he never let that define him. He appreciated the good things in his life, and not once did I ever hear him dwell on the bad that happened to him, his attitude was always to enjoy what he could surrounded by the people he loved for as long as he could no matter what was thrown his way. My dad possessed many qualities which include being kind, thoughtful, funny, loving and he is the strongest person mentally I’ve ever met and I’m proud and fortunate that he was my dad. The challenge to show those qualities became harder especially in the last few years but he never stopped living and being the man he always was, laughing, joking, and enjoying himself around his family.
His sense of humour was witty and dark, and he loved to wind people up, especially my mum. Even in his final hours he had his sense of humour. He was lying in bed that morning and he had a remote to move the bed into different positions. My mum heard him call her, so she went in and the remote was on the floor. My dad said sorry NAME can you pick it up, so she did. 10 minutes later she heard my dad call her again, so she went back in, the remote was on the floor again this time my dad had a grin on his face, my mum picked it up and gave it to him and warned him not to drop it again. He did of course drop it again and my mum saw a big smile on his face like he always had as she came back in. She knew he was winding her up and was smiling as well and I’m sure my dad thought about doing it again, but he knew one more time and it would be wrapped around his neck.
Two of my oldest memories I have of my dad are of stories he liked to tell because he found them funny to talk about over the years and I know he would like me to mention them. I don’t know whether it’s a coincidence they both involve alcohol, but he was a SURNAME so of course he enjoyed a drink.
The first is when I was around 5 and my dad and I were watching tv and he was enjoying a glass of whiskey. He went out to go to the bathroom and I seized my opportunity, grabbed the whiskey, and had a swig. My Dad came back into the room with me screaming it burns it burns pointing at the glass. My dad knew what needed to be done and rushed into action grabbing a can of lager and having me drink some to get rid of the whiskey taste. It did work to be fair and when I was older, I hated whiskey and enjoyed lager, which explains a lot.
The second story I want to share is another from when I was young. My dad would always go out drinking with his brothers NAME and NAME on boxing day. It was usually a nice casual drink and a chance for them to spend time together. However, on this occasion my dad got very drunk. So drunk his brothers had to carry him home which was an incredible feat by itself as he was not a small man. What was even more impressive is they managed to get him home but avoid my mum. They achieved this by leaving him sitting by the bins outside and knocking the door and running off. I don’t blame them, and I think it was a very smart move. However, what they didn’t expect was my dad to get up and manage to fall inside the bin. That was the sight that greeted my mum.
My dad was a great father to me and my sister NAME. He was limited physically in some of the things he could do with us but he more than made up for it in other ways and he was always there for us when we needed him. The only thing my father got wrong when NAME and I were growing up in my opinion is he should have been a bit harsher on NAME. She was always terrorizing me, and I was always calm and never did anything to instigate things, but she couldn’t be stopped. I think my father showed a bit of favouritism there.
At Christmas and other occasions, he enjoyed having everyone around and eating, drinking, playing games and having fun. Trivial pursuit was something he always wanted to play, probably because he would often win. He would always play as the blue counter, his favourite colour and if my nan was there which she usually was she would go on his team as she knew he would get everything right and she could sit back and sip her dissarano. I’m sorry nan but I really don’t think your going to win many games in future.
A memory of Christmas that sticks out is when we were playing a golf game on the Nintendo wii and it was my dads go. He was very competitive and put a lot of effort into his swing as he had to make up for the fact, he was playing sitting down. On this occasion he tried a bit too hard and also forgot to tighten the strap causing the wii remote to go flying off his wrist and straight into the tv destroying the screen. I will never forget the look on his face, a combination of shock and disbelief.
My dad also enjoyed playing real golf, many times with me and his son in law NAME but always with his mum. He caught the golf bug later in life but would play almost every week, sometimes twice a week for the part of the year they could use a buggy on the course. His father also used to go with them to drive the buggy and the sight of it all on the course was terrifying for others playing. A typical sight would be his father with his sunglasses on no matter the weather, driving the buggy with my dad in front and my nan sitting at the back trying to hold on as his father drove way to fast hitting every bump he could find and just about staying upright. He would then drop them off next to their drive which had gone maybe 50 yards at most, which considering their limitations wasn’t bad. They would play their shots with his father laughing hysterically and taunting them from the buggy as their balls went another 50 yards. To just be on the golf course playing with the pain my father was in and the limitations he had was an inspiration to me. He didn’t care what anyone else thought as he was doing what he enjoyed.
There are many more memories I could talk about and many more things he enjoyed doing but we’ll be here hours if I go into everything, and nobody wants that including me. NAME will go into more of my dad’s hobbies and life later, but I hope what the memories I’ve talked about show is how my dad loved being around his family and always lived life to the fullest. I wish we had more years with him, but I can say with confidence that he was happy and content that he had an excellent life.
There are a few milestones I want to talk about that I know would be important to my dad.
My Mum and Dad met working in a bakery. The day he got married to my mum I know he would have felt so lucky to have found someone he loved and could spend his life with or as my nan put it when preparing for today, he married the best tart in the bakery. They were always there for each other, and I know my dad would have very much appreciated the emotional support she gave him especially the last few years. It wasn’t easy for her either dealing with my dad’s illness but I’m so proud of my mum and dad for how they dealt with everything. Susan and I could not have wished for better parents.
The day my sister NAME and I were both born but especially me were big moments for my dad and changed his life forever, hopefully for the better but maybe not always. Also, important moments were when his Grandchildren NAME and NAME were born who may not know how lucky they are to have had my dad around for the time they did but they will when they are older as they look back to Grampys example and guidance.
My dad was so happy that NAME and I had both found what he had with my mum. For NAME it was NAME and for me it was NAME. NAME and I have chosen the easier option of having dogs rather than children which my dad, despite saying he never wanted a dog around or had any interest in them ended up loving having both NAME and NAME around. He would play with them despite it being hard for him and enjoyed taunting them with toys and chews and they would taunt him back by leaving things just out of reach for him.
The day my sister NAME and NAME got married was an emotional and wonderful day for my dad. Getting to walk his daughter down the aisle was a happy and proud moment for him. we didn’t know if he’d be able to do it beforehand, but he wasn’t going to miss the chance, so he got through it as he always did. My dad was not known for speaking in large crowds or being confident at it, in fact it was the opposite. However, the speech he gave at NAME wedding was incredible, funny, emotional, and memorable. He spoke from the heart without anything prepared and I am so proud he not only got through it but delivered an unforgettable speech.
There was never any pressure put on me or NAME. The only thing he wanted for us was to be happy and if we were happy that was ok for him.
I want to finish by sharing what some of his closest family wanted me to say on their behalf. This is their words read out by me.
His Wife NAME says, Mark was the love of my life, my soulmate with so many happy years together. Those years were rich with happy memories with our family. No more pain and suffering now my darling, rest now. My everlasting love always.
His daughter NAME says, I could not have asked for a better dad. You were always supportive and patient in everything I did. Your Grandchildren NAME and NAME will remember you as wise and funny, you always took an interest in what they liked. I will miss you incredibly, but you will forever be in my heart.
His Mother NAME says, Words cannot say how much I will miss you. I get comfort that you are not in any pain now. Sleep my darling until we are together again.
His brother NAME says, I will love and miss you always, brother.
His Brother NAME says, Dear Brother I will start by saying at least you are now at peace and pain free. You will be deeply missed by us all, after all you were the diplomatic one of the family. Mark was the most patient and calm member of us all and nothing was any bother for him to do. Love you Mark God bless you and thank you for being my brother, Love NAME.
His Son in law NAME says, thank you for welcoming me into your family with nothing but love and kindness. We shared a love for formula 1 and I’ll think of you whenever I’m watching a race.
His Niece NAME says, Uncle Mark was always kind and caring to me and you could tell how much he loved his family. Whenever I visited and complained about something he always found a way to spin it in a positive light and give me a new perspective. My last memory is of him in his chair putting his jumper on which got stuck after his arms were through. He made me jump because I thought he was headless and gave us all a good laugh. I feel lucky to have had him as an uncle.
Finally, for me he was my hero. I owe him everything. I couldn’t have wished for a better man to look up to and learn from. My respect for how he lived his life despite the challenges he faced is immeasurable. He never complained, never worried, never gave up, he lived his life to the maximum he could, doing the things he enjoyed around the people he loved right until the very end.
Dad I’m going to miss you beyond words and its going to be hard, but I will draw from what you taught me and live my life the best I can. It is said that a person is never truly gone as long as they are still talked about. Well, the impact You had on those around you means stories of you will be passed down for generations. The memories I have of you will stay in my head and the love and respect I have for you will remain in my heart forever.
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ferocious_puppy to
grief [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 22:16 Zaaz- Urgent help needed
Salam, I hope the reader of this message is well and safe. إِنَّا لِلَّٰهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُون. My uncle passed away this weekend in adel, georgia and is currently at a funeral home, he had no family there and the closest people of blood he had to him was me and my mother who are in vancouver. We are currently in adel trying to find someone who can do ghusl for him as we need to transport the body back to pakistan. We don’t know anybody over there and would be grateful for any guidance on where to find someone to do ghusl for him. The funeral home is also not allowing us to take him to the closest shia mosque which is in atlanta. Any prayers or help to finding such services would be greatly appreciated, jazakallah khairun.
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Zaaz- to
shia [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 21:51 quXIIXup I might have killed my girlfriend..
I don't want this to be too long because I'll probably get emotional.
I'm still pretty young and English is my third language so there might be some errors or incorrectly used words/expressions.
To start it off- I knew my ex for around a year and a few months when we really started to talk a lot and flirt (casual teenage stuff lmao) and when I realized that i was madly in love with her i asked her out asap because i hate playing around and as you guessed it, she accepted and we were a couple. Some rough moments go by but we got through it but then.. disaster struck. She was abused by her father because she god a 16/20 in lieue of a 18/20 and she also got punished for it. I kinda annoyed her brother so badly that he decided to give my now ex her phone back to talk to me. I asked her if she was okay, if she'll press charges and call cps (i live in France so the system is different). She said no. At the time ideas were racing through my mind about what he'll do to her so i, after a lot of thinking, i decided to give her an ultimatum: either she presses charges and calls cps or it's over. She told me that she was going to off herself and all and since at the time there was and still is nothing keeping me in this world i told her that I'll do it too if she does it.. dumb move probably. A night went by and she finally decided to take the right choice (in my opinion) and pressed charges. 00:37 hit and she fell unconscious. She was sent to the hospital; both lungs punctured and a few broken ribs. 3 days later she was finally operated and then she had a heart attack. She got revived and was well. 4 days later she was out of the hospital and told me that she was drinking at a party because she got out of the hospital. I urged her to stop but she didn't listen. I told her that she's gonna have another heart attack and she continued on drinking. After a few minutes her friend got on her phone and told me that she had a heart attack and she's getting loaded into the ambulance. I was acting really cold because i was mad at her and told her friend that she deserved it and i told her that it will happen. Then it turned into a fight because she asked me if I cared (i forgot my response) and then she revealed that it was still her and she was mad at me (like wtf??). Few hours go by, she comes back as if nothing ever happened. i was colder than ever and she got mad at me again . We sorted through it (i forgot why) . We got into another fight a few days after because she was never replying to my texts (it always took her like ~7hours) and she wasn't even in school. It was i think 2am and she woke up her older brother by accident. Her brother, from what I've been told, was really angry and kicked the living hell out of her and she went back to the hospital on the 11/04. I daily asked her younger brother if she was okay and if she woke up to tell her that i love her. He told me that she was getting better but still hasn't woken up. 9 days go by and i decided to break up with her because the mental dread was just too much for me. 21/04, her younger brother told me that she died on the 17/04. She woke up then her father and older brother decided to beat her to death. She was only 16 years old..
I couldn't calm my mind because something wasn't right in this story. I did loads of research and found nothing about murders within her area nor anything like that. Looked through countless articles and countless funeral homes. I found nothing. The way her younger brother wrote was strange. I decided to confront him with my info and he got super mad and defensive. He was telling me that the hospital hadn't have anougj cameras to witness how she died and that it won't ever be on the news because they don't consent to have it published which is super strange (in my opinion.). I was acting like a total jerk. 02/05 struck and her younger brother told me that his older brother and father were being detained in jail (not prison) and that her funeral was on the 26/05.
I wasn't the best boyfriend, i know. I added all the details. Nothing has been left out. There has not been any updates since. Thank you for your time and give my your thoughts in the comments or DMs. If you might have any other things to tell me, tell it in the comments or I'm my DMs.
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2023.05.30 21:44 TheUncrownedStag Damon Morrigen, Heir to Crow's Nest
Discord Username: FireCrimson#1915
Character Name and House: Damon Morrigen
Age: 24
Appearance: https://imgur.com/a/5G1naST Gift: Champion
Skills: Swords (o), Knightly, Defender, Tactician, Cautious
Talent(s): Singing (x2), Hunting
Starting Title(s): Heir to Crow's Nest
Starting Location: The Feast
Family Tree: https://www.familyecho.com/?p=BFQ8M&c=14cgd1pvu0x&f=640928101225140445 (work in progress, some placeholder names or unnamed characters)
Dead Kinsman: Almost everyone in the family tree.
Damon Morrigen was born in the 183rd year of Aegon’s Conquest to Jack Morrigen, the youngest son of Theo Morrigen. Normally, that would be the end of any mention of him. The son of the fifth son is not usually worth much of note. But unfortunately for the House of Morrigen, history and cruel fate decided otherwise.
The first four years of Damon’s life, he does not remember. And without the foresight of days to come, neither does anybody else. He had no siblings, though a few cousins, and enough uncles to fill up a hand with fingers. And an aunt, though she had been married to William Baratheon before he was born, so Damon knew nought of her.
It was during the Red War that Damon’s fate began to settle into place, with the unofficial birth of the ‘Curse of the Crows’ during the Red War in 187 AC. His two eldest uncles, Alester and Harlan, were slain, and the third eldest was crippled to the point he could no longer have children. Theo Morrigen, his grandfather, was distraught. Even without what was to come, this would be enough to put an old patriarch to tears.
But unfortunately, one bad war does not a curse make. The sons of uncle Harlan found that their boat sank in the sea during a particularly rough storm, though rumors persisted for awhile that it was not the storm, but a man with the ruthlessness to put a hole in the boat, with Richard Morrigen as the usual culprit. But there was no evidence to ever link him to any such crime, so the rumors eventually died down, as the curse of the crows continued.
It was uncle Selwyn who was next. Still young enough to be a bachelor, he reportedly drank too much and choked on his own vomit. This appeared to do Theo Morrigen in, as when he went to sleep after the news he never woke up, with his wife following along within weeks in 190 AC. Of Theo’s children, there were only three remaining. Richard, the current eldest who was crippled in the war, Jack Morrigen (Damon’s father) and Ravella, who was married into Baratheon.
There was peace for little Damon for a time; no more funerals, until 194 AC, when his parents died. A sickness. One could say it swept through the family, though that would exaggerate, for it was only those two and uncle Richard who had caught it, giving him another lifelong health issue to contend with, leaving him coughing blood.
Lord Richard, the last of the lord’s sons, sent his heir to Storm’s End to squire under Lord Baratheon. For Damon, these were his roughest but perhaps most tenderly remembered years. No more familial death to deal with. He got along with his aunt’s family, and even saw Lord William as a second father. However, his worst traits were starting to develop. He was becoming anti-social and paranoid, continuously worrying about when his time would come. To a child, the whims of death were chaotic; he put them in order by convincing himself it would be his time eventually, and likely sooner rather than later.
At 18, in 201 AC, he was knighted, and went home to Crow’s Nest. In celebration, he was given Loyalty, the Valyrian steel longsword of House Morrigen. In one of his uncle’s celebration events, he met Sylas, who became his confidant and informant. A lowborn man, he had nonetheless gained the trust of Lord Richard, and was allowed to remain as a servant, of sorts, and was one of the most valuable men Morrigen had at their disposal.
The next few years, Damon remembers as games. Lord Richard, well aware that Damon was the last hope for their house to continue in the male line, tested him again and again. Sometimes in his ability to defend himself, sometimes in his ability to rule. Some rumors suggested that his ability to continue the line was tested, but they were quashed.
Now it is 207 AC. Some must wonder if the curse of the crows will continue, or if the young heir will manage to halt it in its tracks.
https://www.familyecho.com/?p=BFQ8M&c=14cgd1pvu0x&f=640928101225140445
Character Name and House: Sylas
Age: 34
Appearance: A stooped, balding man. He doesn't seem particularly interesting or notable.
Gift: Ruthless
Skills: Espionage, Torturer, Subtle
Talents: N/A
Starting Title(s): None
Starting Location: With Damon.
Lord Richard Morrigen - Subterfuge
Ser Alaric ‘Pennypointer’ - Architect
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2023.05.30 21:30 versedhelplessness RIP: Luke Burland Death Reason, Accident Details, Nitro Circus Member Dead, Funeral & Obituary!
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2023.05.30 21:29 versedhelplessness RIP: Luke Burland Death Reason, Accident Details, Nitro Circus Member Dead, Funeral & Obituary!
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2023.05.30 21:27 Most_Swordfish4519 Need advice and prayer. Caution this could be triggering
This maybe a long post and possibly triggering for some. I apologize for the length it feels good to get this off my chest. My life from the outside looks pretty normal I guess you could say. My parents are still married after 42 years of marriage. Mom was a stay at home mom. Dad worked full time. We never went with out anything. So to the world we looked good. Behind closed doors it was another story. I have a stepsister who created total havoc on my family when she would come for visits. Knock down fights with my mom, name calling, yelling screaming. It was awful and very traumatic. She had a child and left the baby with my grandparents and I have not seen her since about age 16. I also had a cousin who sexually abused me until about the age of 9 or so. I didn’t realize what this was happening to me and didn’t say anything to anyone. I have not seen this cousin in at least 25 years if not longer. Here’s the problem and the challenge I’m trying to work through: my grandmother passed away and we are having her funeral soon. My sister will be there, my cousin will be there as well as the child my sister gave away. I want to be there for my dad, but I’m really struggling with how to be around these people who caused such trauma in my life and I just don’t know how to be.. any advice would be welcome. At this point I am not planning on talking with either one of them but is this the right thing to do? Is there a right or wrong thing? I’m just very confused or in a state of depression over this whole thing. Sorry for the rambling and if you made it this far thank you for reading. God bless each one of you.
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2023.05.30 21:19 lavenderdilemma what would you do in this situation?
I'm currently studying for my Boards and was caught off guard by this sample question from the ICFSEB study guide. I was wondering what you all thought about this:
The hand may be restored if missing or completely mutilated by:
a. Making a plaster cast
b. Covering with a sleeve
c. Wrapping the stump with bandage
d. Positioning so it is out of sight
Answer: a. Making a plaster cast
I was really surprised, my best guess was d. Never have I ever heard of that method being used in the funeral home I work at, we don't even have the materials to do it. And if this method was used, wouldn't the deceased end up with 2 left or 2 right hands? I was wondering if this was standard practice for anyone in this situation? And if not, what do you do instead?
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2023.05.30 21:02 Dr_AK_Myst I'm a doctor who can't heal himself. I'm a mental health advocate with his mind in the gutter. Wanna hear my story ?
I don’t know what I'm doing here. But I'm taking a leap of faith anyways. I want this post to be considered Entry 1 of a public diary that I wanna share in this subreddit. If this post gets enough comments and upvotes, I want to make this a regular series. Because I want the world to know my story.
So here's where I right now- I'm a 26Y (M) freshly graduated doctor in Bangladesh. My father passed away last year after battling cancer for 9 months. I used to run a fairly succesful mental health startup that helped young adults & adolescents battle depression. But I needed a lot of money for my father's treatment and thus I had to sell off my startup, merge with a bigger company and join them as a consultant. I had to lay off my team and lose ownership of my projects.
After my father's death, my mother (also a doctor btw) became suicidal. It took me 6 months to get her in a better place and she is doing good nowadays. But in the process I graduated 6 months later compared to my colleagues since I had to take an academic gap.
And it is during that gap that my girlfriend abandoned me. In fact, she didn’t even show up at my father's funeral.
There is a LOT to unpack here, especially about my mental health crisis and my journey if rebuilding myself. Here I am- a junior doctor in a workplace he doesn’t like, far away from home in a different city, with no long-term plans and a lot of responsibilities. I really don't know where to begin, so let me know in the comments about which part of my life you wanna hear about.
That's my intro. So...... wanna hear my story ???
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2023.05.30 20:59 thebowedbookshelf [Discussion] Bonus Read: The Winners by Fredrick Backman, chapters 29-43
Welcome back to our story. Let's jump right in with the summary:
Amat runs on a road into the woods but can't outrun the negative thoughts and comments. Less than a year ago, he had spent too much time in the gym lifting weights that he fell on the way home and sprained his wrist. Amat kept the injury to himself. He self medicated with painkillers and alcohol. All the expectations weighed him down. Tails told his mom that if he was drafted, he could continue to play for Beartown. The club would get three hundred thousand dollars, and Amat would get more experience and wins for the team.
On the train, the secret reporter asks Maya about her dad. The reporter takes notes about Ramona because she was on the committee and still talked with Peter.
Peter visited Amat to suggest what agent he should contact. He comments that he can smell alcohol on his breath. Peter is just like the others making money off him.
Matteo's sister had gotten a butterfly tattoo on her shoulder in secret. His sister ran away two and a half years ago by saying she was to be staying at a church for "problem" kids. Then she left the country. The next call about her was news of her death. "The devil took her" according to his mom. Matteo wishes they had been born somewhere else to different parents like the Anderssons.
A mysterious man watches Amat practice. He was Lev, a "trash bandit" from a trailer park near Hed with a bad reputation. It was because he was a poor immigrant like Amat. Lev prevented Amat from buying pills. Amat confronted him the next day. Lev is only trying to help. He gives him rides home and can get proper meds for him. Lev actually listens to him and understands. Lev takes the calls from agents now.
Teemu drives through the wreckage after the storm. He has Peter take the wheel so he can text someone. The match schedule is changed so Beartown will play against Hed. Teemu tells him there are rumors that Beartown will merge with Hed now that their club's roof collapsed. Tails is behind it. Teemu hates the idea. Peter tells him he could be a tool or a weapon for the town. Teemu says it's only a temporary truce between Beartown and Hed.
At the game, they were tied and had a face off. Zackell asked Amat's opinion, and he said to give him the puck. They won, but it felt hollow. It was a test, and Amat lost.
The reporter reunites with his daughter. She tells him that how he talked to Maya was unethical. But Maya would have been on her guard if he told her the truth about himself. People think Peter is above reproach. If the two clubs merge, the evidence will be buried. The daughter has to be careful how she gathers intel or it could be taken personally. She has to live in the area. The reporter dad wants to ruin them.
Johnny comes home late in the evening from clearing the roads. Big sister Tess takes on more responsibility which makes Hannah feel guilty. Ted is obsessed with hockey and is better at it than Tobias. Ture pipes up that they have to practice in Beartown now. He overheard his dad on the phone earlier. Ted wants to see Amat train. Tobias gets in a fight with his brother. They are sent a message on their phones of a picture of the town sign with green scarves and a "GO HOME" sign below it. What a welcome. /s
Adri Ovich cleans up after the storm. The older dogs start barking because Benji came back riding a bike. He breaks into the club and sneaks onto the ice thinking of old times. He doesn't feel anything but numbness.
Maya gets a ride into Beartown from a neighbor. The door to her old home is unlocked which is only something people do in Beartown. She surprises her dad as he's getting ready for the day. He didn't think she'd know when the funeral was. Her mom comes home and tackles her in a hug.
Benji had stolen Mateo's bicycle and left it at the rink. He had fixed the chain. It figures that an entitled hockey player would steal it. On the first frost of the year, Benji visits his dad's grave.
Amat lost his temper at another player and insulted assistant coach Bobo. He sat out the rest of the games. Rumors spread that he wasn't really injured and was ungrateful to the club. Lev told him the rich men would tell him to settle for less. Peter tells Amat that he will be lower in the NHL draft but should still take it seriously. The next day, Lev sent a dishwasher for Amat's mom as a loan for when he goes pro.
Lev couldn't go to America with him. Lev's friend didn't help him much. The man he met in the hotel gym was friends with Peter and only interviewed him as a favor. Amat wasn't picked. It was all for nothing. Lev misled him, and his friend wasn't a real agent at all. Amat drank all night and was too drunk the next morning for a second chance. He came home and drank all summer.
Amat texts Bobo for help. Amat has gained weight and is out of shape. Bobo runs with him til they can't anymore. He compares Amat to the lupine, a hardy flower that grows in the ditch. He has ten months until the next NHL draft.
Mateo's sister helped him to survive school. She told him the hiding places and to stay away from the hockey guys. His sister didn't take her own advice.
Lev visits Peter to thank him for trying to help Amat. He mocks Peter when it was
his fake agent who messed up Amat's chances by asking for payment from the clubs. Lev claims Ramona owed him a bunch of money. He wants to own her bar, but he doesn't have any proof. Lev uses Peter's motives for helping Amat against him. Lev threatens his wife, and Peter pushes him in a rage. The young gangster in the car comes near. Lev leaves, and Peter calls Teemu.
Maya can't believe her dad is now friends with Teemu. Ramona had to borrow money from Lev because she gave all her money to help Teemu's friend's mom. Teemu says to let him handle it.
Tess is a figure skating coach and Ted and Toby have hockey practice. But this time it will be in Beartown. Ana surprises the family when she drives their van back to their home. Tess feels like Ana should have been Hannah's daughter. Johnny shouts more at Ted because he has more to lose on the ice.
Zackell tells Bobo they will be last on the ice. She is looking to replace Amat. If he needs encouragement, it's already too late. Amat is tortured by the word "almost" and negative self talk.
Ana reunites with Maya. He dad isn't drinking the day before the funeral. Maya hears of the possible merger between Beartown and Hed. Maya talks about how people get radicalized and sectarian violence.
Teemu visits Hog at his garage. He asks for a favor: to borrow a vehicle. A man in a suit from the funeral parlor comes to Lev's scrap yard to pick up a vehicle. Teemu snuck into Lev's house and left keys and a beer glass. The vehicle is in back, and it's a hearse.
The day the rink opens to Hed, all the old rivalries and grievances come roaring back. The parents act the most immature. Bobo helps Tess and her brothers get into the locker room. They all take their turns on the ice until the figure skating practice. A fight starts, and both blame the other side. Bobo breaks it up. Tobias got a black eye. Johnny wants to fight them all, but Tess appeals to his protective instincts. As he drives back to Hed, Teemu and company threaten them.
Tails is nervous about what happened. He tells the caretaker that the two teams could be dissolved and a new club could be formed in Beartown. Teemu makes the club look bad. A council member accuses Tails of being sentimental. Tails gives Mumble a ride back to Hed.
Johnny argues with Hannah that Toby fought out of self defense. Hannah has to agree. Toby got suspended from the team. Hannah tells Johnny not to do anything stupid with his coworkers against Beartown. Ted was the one who charged out to fight, but Toby finished the job to protect Ted from getting suspended.
Extras Marginalia Lupines Bigleaf lupine is an invasive species in Maine.
Questions are in the comments.
Join me next week, June 6th, for chapters 44 to 59.
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2023.05.30 20:56 ColdBlackWater Just wrong.
My dad is a chef in a busy hotel and after a busy day in work, it was late and he was heading home. It was dark but a normal drive home -- we live in the country a twenty minute drive from town. Around one that night, my dad pulled into our drive and got out of the car and into our house. He had only just closed the door behind him and had stepped away from it when there was a knock on the door.
He turned around and answered the door, and in front of him stood a very tall, very thin, very pale man, in a black funeral-type suit that was far too small for him. His eyes were inexpressibly dark...
My dad just looked at him and said, Yes?
In a low, almost expressionless, voice, the man asked for the directions. My dad knew the place; but it was in Galway, absolute miles away.
Dad just said, Yes, and gave him fairly rough directions, as there was no way the guy was walking there. The man stood looking at my dad, said nothing, and then, very slowly, turned and walked straight through the garden, flower beds and all, climbed over the fence, and left our property, continuing down the rural lane.
Dad was speechless -- first of all, on the drive home, he'd seen no one on the roads, then saw no one around our house when he pulled in. Our sensor light didn't react to the man at all, and he had been at the door just seconds after my dad was. It was almost impossible to fathom how that could have been the case.
And the man himself -- in general, the man himself was just -- wrong.
edited for clarity
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2023.05.30 20:55 GG88888888 Is it possible to maintain a healthy and happy marriage if your mother-in-law despises you?
Hi everyone. I have a question that's weighed heavily on me for some time: is it possible to maintain a healthy and happy marriage if your mother-in-law despises you?
I've been with my husband for nearly 10 years. We're college sweethearts. He's an awesome person--kind, smart, loyal, goofy, sweet, romantic. The works. He's my best friend and a great partner. We support each other's careers and goals, hang out with friends and neighbors, and enjoy a lot of overlap in our hobbies and passions. We've purchased a small home together and have a cat who we adore. In general, I feel grateful and lucky to be with him, and he regularly tells me how happy he is with me and how I'm the love of his life.
Of course, we have small fights here and there, but over the past decade, there has been one topic which has triggered potentially relationship-ending fights: his mom (my mother-in-law). Before I proceed, I want to put out a disclaimer that she is a good person with good qualities and I feel a debt of gratitude towards her for raising my husband. I don't want to demonize her. I'm just at the end of my rope. I've shed too many tears over this situation and I feel like I can't see a way out.
So, MIL was the only parent of ours that had an unhappy reaction to our engagement. Our other 3 parents (my mom and dad as well as his dad who is divorced from his mom) were all overjoyed and cried happy tears. His mom got very quiet. Then first thing she said was, "I thought you were already engaged!" which took the wind out of our sails. She followed that up with, "I guess I'll be having grandchildren soon!" which is another point of contention because we don't have kids yet (by choice) despite being together for so long. She boils this down to my fault. She angrily told him on multiple occasions, "you always wanted to be a father before you met her!" We were both approximately 20 years old when we met. Other things she's done behind my back:
- MIL instructed husband to "test me" before marrying me. She told him, "don't do whatever she wants you to do, and see how she reacts!" This may have been triggered by him telling her he's very happy with me because she responded with "I'm sure you're very happy right now but only because you do whatever she says". She told him in the middle of the night afterwards that she "had a terrible dream about him" and wanted to know if he was okay with me.
- MIL told husband I "clearly need Jungian therapy" because I'm "out of touch with my dreams and my shadow", I might "need to be medicated", and she's "more emotionally mature and honest" than me due to her years of therapy and her age. For the record, I have had therapy and counselling, I have tried medication for anxiety, and I respect mental health treatment.
- I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called psoriatic arthritis by a rheumatologist. I went through blood tests and consultations. Flare-ups are occasionally very painful and physically off-putting. MIL verbatim told my husband, "she's probably faking her illness for attention or manipulation or something". I think maybe she was feeling insecure because her siblings and her ex-husband accused her of overexaggerating her health issues, so I get that she was triggered, but it was very painful to hear her comment via my husband. It is probably one of the meanest comments I've received in my lifetime. I was shocked and ruminated for a long time about why someone would think so little of my character.
There's much more, of course, as MIL has sent no shortage of "accidental" mean texts and impulsive emails ranting about me (typically sent midnight to 5AM because she "just can't fall asleep" thinking about me). Here's the thing: I've never had a negative interaction with her in person. She has always been polite. I have never even exchanged a text with her or had a call with her beyond generic well wishes for holidays and birthdays. However, because I am aware of this pattern of behavior she has exhibited behind my back over the past decade, I have increasingly declined most social invites from her. Of course, I never prevent my husband from going to family functions--he goes to maybe a dozen a year between holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, etc. since he has a big family on both sides.
The kicker is, MIL constantly complains that I don't attend family functions, which to her indicates that I don't "make an effort to become part of the family". From our perspectives, we married each other, not our families. My family is much smaller, but when I hang out with them, my husband doesn't always tag along. He does not feel that I have an obligation to attend his family functions, but he does feel very angry and then sometimes sad when his mother (and increasingly sister) guilt trip him about me not visiting. MIL likes to say she's "lost a son" and SIL texted my husband that he is "the biggest disappointment of mom's life" and "he'll regret everything when she's dead."
I don't know what to do. I don't want to put my husband in the middle of this situation when his family so clearly despises me. In turn, I no longer want to interact with them. I love this man. I want our relationship to be happy and healthy. But the thought of having to interact with my MIL for the rest of my life is so anxiety-inducing that I honestly sometimes consider divorce. I am a people pleaser and conflict avoidant, and I understand these are bad unassertive traits which don't lead to conflict resolution. I just don't know what confronting her would accomplish at this point and I fear it would make the situation much worse as she might feel criticized. I can't envision my MIL becoming a grandmother to my future children when she has already sent long angry texts about "just knowing" how I won't respect her as a grandma.
I'm so sorry I ranted so much. I thought I was going to be much more concise and organized with my thoughts. I would really appreciate any advice you guys have.
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2023.05.30 20:52 GG88888888 Is it possible to maintain a healthy and happy marriage if your mother-in-law despises you?
Hi everyone. I've gleaned so much wisdom from this sub. I'm not sure if this is too personal to be posted here, but I have a question that's weighed heavily on me for some time: is it possible to maintain a healthy and happy marriage if your mother-in-law despises you?
I've been with my husband for nearly 10 years. We're college sweethearts. He's an awesome person--kind, smart, loyal, goofy, sweet, romantic. The works. He's my best friend and a great partner. We support each other's careers and goals, hang out with friends and neighbors, and enjoy a lot of overlap in our hobbies and passions. We've purchased a small home together and have a cat who we adore. In general, I feel grateful and lucky to be with him, and he regularly tells me how happy he is with me and how I'm the love of his life.
Of course, we have small fights here and there, but over the past decade, there has been one topic which has triggered potentially relationship-ending fights: his mom (my mother-in-law). Before I proceed, I want to put out a disclaimer that she is a good person with good qualities and I feel a debt of gratitude towards her for raising my husband. I don't want to demonize her. I'm just at the end of my rope. I've shed too many tears over this situation and I feel like I can't see a way out.
So, MIL was the only parent of ours that had an unhappy reaction to our engagement. Our other 3 parents (my mom and dad as well as his dad who is divorced from his mom) were all overjoyed and cried happy tears. His mom got very quiet. Then first thing she said was, "I thought you were already engaged!" which took the wind out of our sails. She followed that up with, "I guess I'll be having grandchildren soon!" which is another point of contention because we don't have kids yet (by choice) despite being together for so long. She boils this down to my fault. She angrily told him on multiple occasions, "you always wanted to be a father before you met her!" We were both approximately 20 years old when we met. Other things she's done behind my back:
- MIL instructed husband to "test me" before marrying me. She told him, "don't do whatever she wants you to do, and see how she reacts!" This may have been triggered by him telling her he's very happy with me because she responded with "I'm sure you're very happy right now but only because you do whatever she says". She told him in the middle of the night afterwards that she "had a terrible dream about him" and wanted to know if he was okay with me.
- MIL told husband I "clearly need Jungian therapy" because I'm "out of touch with my dreams and my shadow", I might "need to be medicated", and she's "more emotionally mature and honest" than me due to her years of therapy and her age. For the record, I have had therapy and counselling, I have tried medication for anxiety, and I respect mental health treatment.
- I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called psoriatic arthritis by a rheumatologist. I went through blood tests and consultations. Flare-ups are occasionally very painful and physically off-putting. MIL verbatim told my husband, "she's probably faking her illness for attention or manipulation or something". I think maybe she was feeling insecure because her siblings and her ex-husband accused her of overexaggerating her health issues, so I get that she was triggered, but it was very painful to hear her comment via my husband. It is probably one of the meanest comments I've received in my lifetime. I was shocked and ruminated for a long time about why someone would think so little of my character.
There's much more, of course, as MIL has sent no shortage of "accidental" mean texts and impulsive emails ranting about me (typically sent midnight to 5AM because she "just can't fall asleep" thinking about me). Here's the thing: I've never had a negative interaction with her in person. She has always been polite. I have never even exchanged a text with her or had a call with her beyond generic well wishes for holidays and birthdays. However, because I am aware of this pattern of behavior she has exhibited behind my back over the past decade, I have increasingly declined most social invites from her. Of course, I never prevent my husband from going to family functions--he goes to maybe a dozen a year between holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, etc. since he has a big family on both sides.
The kicker is, MIL constantly complains that I don't attend family functions, which to her indicates that I don't "make an effort to become part of the family". From our perspectives, we married each other, not our families. My family is much smaller, but when I hang out with them, my husband doesn't always tag along. He does not feel that I have an obligation to attend his family functions, but he does feel very angry and then sometimes sad when his mother (and increasingly sister) guilt trip him about me not visiting. MIL likes to say she's "lost a son" and SIL texted my husband that he is "the biggest disappointment of mom's life" and "he'll regret everything when she's dead."
I don't know what to do. I don't want to put my husband in the middle of this situation when his family so clearly despises me. In turn, I no longer want to interact with them. I love this man. I want our relationship to be happy and healthy. But the thought of having to interact with my MIL for the rest of my life is so anxiety-inducing that I honestly sometimes consider divorce. I am a people pleaser and conflict avoidant, and I understand these are bad unassertive traits which don't lead to conflict resolution. I just don't know what confronting her would accomplish at this point and I fear it would make the situation much worse as she might feel criticized. I can't envision my MIL becoming a grandmother to my future children when she has already sent long angry texts about "just knowing" how I won't respect her as a grandma.
I'm so sorry I ranted so much. I thought I was going to be much more concise and organized with my thoughts. I would really appreciate any advice you guys have.
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2023.05.30 20:34 lluv77 Two HOA issues and looking for advice.
I have posted in here before but I was dealing with my mothers passing and a fiancées murder so I was a bit incoherent. I am again clearly (hopefully) stating the issues and asking for advice. Thank you in advanced for reading.
I own a SFH in Central Florida with an HOA. In 2020 they changed management companies. The new management company stated I had not paid fees to the previous management company. However the old companies accounting was incorrect. My mother (who I co-owned the home with) passed in May of 2020 and because she paid the HOA fees with her account it was taking a long time to get proof.
I Waited for the paperwork did not contact the HOA until the end of 2020 because I was not in the right mental state. My fault I know. I told the management company I was behind in fees and wanted to make a payment plan.
Now we only pay twice a year and the fees are about 600 a year. After my mothers death her funeral and with COVID I wanted to establish a payment plan.
We were in talks for a payment plan at the beginning of September and then they filed a lien.
I was shocked. Asked them why it was filed if we were doing a payment arrangement? Well we agreed I’d pay all HOA assessments they said were owed (even the two years they other property management company stated I owed) and they would remove the lien.
I agreed and paid it at once just to get it over with. I just kept other costs down for a few months.
2021 comes around, HOA assessments are paid. I am served a foreclosure in April 2021. Come to find out they did not honor our agreement and the layers were charging fees the entire time. This means I now owed over 3k in fees.
We (property management lawyers and I) discuss this again and came to a second agreement where I would split lawyers fees with the HOA. Guess how that went? They switched management companies a second time because of to many financial mistakes (like mine).
The new management company now wants me to pay 6k in fees, filed foreclosure again and, I had to hire a new lawyer.
Lawyer says I have no case because they had no legal responsibility to honor any agreement we made.
I am about to do a payment arrangement with the management company. However, do I have any recourse against the HOA or management company?
As a separate issue - The HOA has been treating the neighborhood like their own dictatorship. They (President CP and two other members) are harassing residents (e.g., screaming at me for walking my dog, jumping fences to take pictures of people’s backyards going through peoples trash) so much so that the local Police Department has advised us to file orders of protection. The president has also had his grown children chase residents with metal pipes due to disagreements.
Can these people be removed from the board? Can we get the HOA dissolved?
Florida has very strong HOA laws. Is there anything that can be done in either situation? Thank you.
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lluv77 to
legaladvice [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 20:26 lluv77 HOA is out of control in FL. Looking for Advice.
I own a SFH in Central Florida with an HOA. In 2020 they changed management companies. The new management company stated I had not paid fees, however that was an error. My mother (who I co-owned the home with) passed in May of 2020.
Because she paid the HOA fees with her account it was taking a long time to get proof. I did not contact the HOA until the end of 2020 because I was not in the right mental state. My fault I know. I stated I was behind in fees and wanted to make a payment plan.
Now we only pay twice a year and the fees are about 600 a year. After my mothers death her funeral and with COVID I wanted to establish a payment plan.
We were in talks for a payment plan at the beginning of September and then they filed a lien.
I was shocked. Asked them why it was filed if we were doing a payment arrangement? Well we agreed I’d pay all HOA assessments they said were owed (even the two years they other property management company stated I’d owed) and they would remove the lien.
I agreed and paid it at once just to get it over with. I just kept other costs down for a few months.
2021 comes around, HOA assessments are paid. I am served a foreclosure in April 2021. Come to find out they did not honor our agreement and the layers were charging fees the entire time and now I owed over 3k in fees.
We discuss this again and came to a second agreement where I would split lawyers fees with the HOA. Guess how that went? They switched management companies again because of to many financial mistakes (like mine).
The new management company now wants me to pay 6k in fees, filed foreclosure again and, I had to hire a new lawyer.
Lawyer says I have no case because they had no legal responsibility to honor any agreement we make.
I am about to do a payment arrangement but do I have any recourse against the HOA or management company?
As a separate issue - The HOA has been treating the neighborhood like their own dictatorship. They are harassing residents le.g., screaming at me for walking my dog, jumping fences to take pictures of people’s backyards and other issues) so much so that the local Police Department has advised us to file orders of protection.
Florida has very strong HOA laws. Is there anything that can be done in either situation? Thank you.
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lluv77 to
HOA [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 20:26 missnorden Should I stay working in cannabis or return to funeral directing?
What would you do?
I went to Worsham and graduated in 2007, did my apprenticeship and after some thought, got out of the business. Mostly due to the extreme anxiety it gave me, terrible co workers and schedule.
Now I work in legal cannabis in a semi- management title. I make around 40k a year plus a lot of free product. It's fun and lax, but of course has some down sides.
My family has always encouraged me to go back into the funeral industry. They don't like that I'm wasting my degree. If I got back into the funeral home I would be starting from the bottom again. Is the "money" worth it enough to go back?
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2023.05.30 20:13 Able-Answer-8826 Sister with trauma is acting insane
Okay so it's long one, and I feel like I've took a wrong turn in a parallel universe but here it goes.
It started last summer when my(24m) sister(20f) went on a holiday. During that time a friend of hers(20f) asked me out. We had an awesome day and we both wanted another date. A week later we had a second one and it went really good again. We decided not to tell my sister yet because we wanted to figure it out, and as it was kinda weird she being a friend of my younger sister.
After a couple weeks we figured we should tell her that it was getting more serious. Well we did and she did not take it well. My now gf (let's call her Jackie), told my sister (let's call her Hannah). She couldn't really find a good way to react and just something like, well uhm welcome to the family I guess.
After that I asked her what she thought and she became really angry at me. Saying she found it disgusting, gross and asking me how could I be so stupid. She also mentioned the girl code multiple times and that we broke that.
After that me and Jackie decided we should probably let it sink in with Hannah. And we would give her a week to let it sink in. Me and Jackie would not contact each other as to make it easier for her. But after some talking we figured that that makes no sense and we hung out being Hannah's back. Well Hannah and her friend (who were also Jackies friends) found out, kinda stalky but yeah they found out.
After that me and Jackie just started dating more and we went to a museum together. During our trip to the museum I got the worst phone call of my life. My father had passed away from a heart attack.
During the time of handling everything to do with the funeral my sister and I acted normally. I stopped contact with Jackie for a little while. Jackie was not invited to the funeral as I also thought that would be to upsetting for my sister. I did give Jackie a link to see the funeral via livestream, Hannah was also not happy about that.
A few weeks after the funeral I wanted to see Jackie again, and I told Hannah that and after that she ignored me for 2 months. I tried multiple times to talk to her, telling her that talking is way better and that will help. And not to bottle up her feelings but rather tell me or my mother. Nothing changed.
After a couple months my mother told me that she couldn't handle the tension at home between me and my sister and she needed it to be resolved, or else we might lose her too. Well I took initiative again and told Hannah, okay we don't like each other but for the sake of my mother let's just act normale and say hi to each other.
That went on for a couple of months.
Another thing was that during all this time, I could not bring Jackie to my home. My sister is very scary and holds a lot of power in my home. I also find that she mentally abuses my mother. And has been for a couple of years. I've told her that as well but she won't change.
A couple of weeks ago it was my birthday and I thought I was in my right to want Jackie to come eat with me and my friend at my home.
Well, when we three came home. Hannah immediately became extremely angry, demanding Jackie to leave her house. We rejected and told her mom said it was okay and it was my birthday. My mom also said we could to her and for her to go to her friends house, who was with her. Hannah would not let it go and became agressieve. She told Jackie that she hopes she dies, that she hopes she cuts her wrists deeper next time and that she'll be happy when she is dead. She also tried to attack her two times. During these attempts she ripped my shirt, cut open my neck. And gave my mother bruises. She did not hit Jackie thanks to me and my friend stopping Hannah.
That was kind of the story.
Jackie is now considering going to the police and filing for assault. But she doesn't want Hannah to have a criminal record. We all want Hannah to get psychological help, but she refuses.
I know my sister is holding in a lot of trauma and part of me still wants to protect her as I've done since I was 15. But even when writing this I don't understand why.
She needs help but refuses.
What should we do.
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2023.05.30 20:02 Able-Answer-8826 Sister with trauma assaulted me, my mother and my girlfriend
Okay so it's long one, and I feel like I've took a wrong turn in a parallel universe but here it goes.
It started last summer when my(24m) sister(20f) went on a holiday. During that time a friend of hers(20f) asked me out. We had an awesome day and we both wanted another date. A week later we had a second one and it went really good again. We decided not to tell my sister yet because we wanted to figure it out, and as it was kinda weird she being a friend of my younger sister.
After a couple weeks we figured we should tell her that it was getting more serious. Well we did and she did not take it well. My now gf (let's call her Jackie), told my sister (let's call her Hannah). She couldn't really find a good way to react and just something like, well uhm welcome to the family I guess.
After that I asked her what she thought and she became really angry at me. Saying she found it disgusting, gross and asking me how could I be so stupid. She also mentioned the girl code multiple times and that we broke that.
After that me and Jackie decided we should probably let it sink in with Hannah. And we would give her a week to let it sink in. Me and Jackie would not contact each other as to make it easier for her. But after some talking we figured that that makes no sense and we hung out being Hannah's back. Well Hannah and her friend (who were also Jackies friends) found out, kinda stalky but yeah they found out.
After that me and Jackie just started dating more and we went to a museum together. During our trip to the museum I got the worst phone call of my life. My father had passed away from a heart attack.
During the time of handling everything to do with the funeral my sister and I acted normally. I stopped contact with Jackie for a little while. Jackie was not invited to the funeral as I also thought that would be to upsetting for my sister. I did give Jackie a link to see the funeral via livestream, Hannah was also not happy about that.
A few weeks after the funeral I wanted to see Jackie again, and I told Hannah that and after that she ignored me for 2 months. I tried multiple times to talk to her, telling her that talking is way better and that will help. And not to bottle up her feelings but rather tell me or my mother. Nothing changed.
After a couple months my mother told me that she couldn't handle the tension at home between me and my sister and she needed it to be resolved, or else we might lose her too. Well I took initiative again and told Hannah, okay we don't like each other but for the sake of my mother let's just act normale and say hi to each other.
That went on for a couple of months.
Another thing was that during all this time, I could not bring Jackie to my home. My sister is very scary and holds a lot of power in my home. I also find that she mentally abuses my mother. And has been for a couple of years. I've told her that as well but she won't change.
A couple of weeks ago it was my birthday and I thought I was in my right to want Jackie to come eat with me and my friend at my home.
Well, when we three came home. Hannah immediately became extremely angry, demanding Jackie to leave her house. We rejected and told her mom said it was okay and it was my birthday. My mom also said we could to her and for her to go to her friends house, who was with her. Hannah would not let it go and became agressieve. She told Jackie that she hopes she dies, that she hopes she cuts her wrists deeper next time and that she'll be happy when she is dead. She also tried to attack her two times. During these attempts she ripped my shirt, cut open my neck. And gave my mother bruises. She did not hit Jackie thanks to me and my friend stopping Hannah.
That was kind of the story.
Jackie is now considering going to the police and filing for assault. But she doesn't want Hannah to have a criminal record. We all want Hannah to get psychological help, but she refuses.
I know my sister is holding in a lot of trauma and part of me still wants to protect her as I've done since I was 15. But even when writing this I don't understand why.
She needs help but refuses.
What should we do.
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Able-Answer-8826 to
Advice [link] [comments]