Has pete davidson ever been married

People Person's Paper People

2011.01.08 06:16 People Person's Paper People

Why waste time watch many show when one show do trick?

2013.05.13 11:21 myfavor8throwaway Surviving Infidelity

Welcome to Surviving Infidelity. If you're here, it's because you are surviving, or have survived, infidelity in a relationship that you thought was life-long. This is a support sub, a safe place to ask for advice and guidance. Regardless of your decision to stay in your relationship or to go, we are here to support you on your path to recovery. We ask that you please read our sub rules before posting.

2019.03.15 02:31 preposteroni Exposing Corporate MSM Bias Against The Left

This sub's original purpose was to document the intentional media blackout of Bernie Sanders, the hostile coverage he's received by the corporate pundit class, the distortion of his support and policy by 'liberal' MSM news outlets and their manufacturing of support for his opponents. We've since shifted focus towards documenting the corporate MSM bias against the left as a whole & their manufacturing of consent for the duopoly, military industrial complex, wall street and big pharma/tech.

2023.05.30 22:46 Fuschia_apple How to deal with insecurity over my (22F) weight gain and my partner’s (22M) newly-fit body?

I (22F) started dating my partner (22M) about 2.5 years ago. We are incredibly in love, and want to get married. We have a very happy and healthy relationship, but recently I’ve been dealing with insecurity issues over our changing bodies.
Since we started dating, I’ve put on about 25-30 (rough estimate) pounds, mostly due to health issues I’ve been dealing with for the past year or so. My health hasn’t been good enough for me to work out and be active like I used to be, and it sucks. It’s important to note that I’m still not overweight by doctor’s/society’s standards, but I definitely miss my former body.
My partner has also gained weight, but it’s almost all been muscle. He started going to the gym regularly about 6 months ago, and he is looking amazing and really fit. I’m so happy for him, but these changes in both of our bodies combined have me feeling pretty insecure. He tells me that I’m beautiful and perfect, but I can’t help but worry that soon, he’ll want to find a different, fitter, thinner girl. He has always been very handsome, but with his bigger muscles I know he’s had more female attention.
I feel bad, because I know he loves the gym and I support him being his best self. I’m just sad that I feel like our appearances are going in opposite directions. It doesn’t help that he told me about a conversation his friends were having a few days ago, where they were discussing if/when they’d break up with their girlfriends if they gained weight. He reassured me that he’d said he wouldn’t break up with me, and would only support me in losing the weight - but this didn’t help my insecurities, and I’ve been a bit reserved around him ever since. How can I manage my insecurities around our changing bodies?
submitted by Fuschia_apple to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:46 ArticFox0917 AITA for telling my mom she can’t be apart of my babies life if she doesn’t invite my grandmother to the baby shower (Part 2)

Coming on here for a part 2 because I realized I didn’t explain it well enough! My mother isn’t as innocent as she seems. My mother and biological father were married to each other for 3 years and he abused her for 1 of those years. Which I don’t really understand why they were married in the first place because everyone said they argued like cats and dogs from the beginning. The arguments between my mother and grandmother sprouted up mostly during the divorce even though they didn’t particularly like each other before then. My grandmother was more than fine with giving her mostly everything she wanted in the divorce beside the house and the car (that my grandmother paid for) and refused to pay for any of her bills including her phone bill, internet bill, etc. which she had paid for during the entirety of their marriage. During the divorce my mother got close to a half million dollar settlement because that is what she demanded of them to keep quiet about the abuse along with full custody of her children. My grandmother being worried about the upraising of her grandchildren agreed. My grandmother shut my biological father out her life (besides letting him continue to stay and use the house and car they had originally bought for them to raise the family in) so that she could continue to see us. Which was the agreement if she wanted to see her grandchildren then she had to shut her son out of her life and so my grandmother did. She has supported me and my brother throughout my whole life, coming to ever little league game, dance recital, and school event. Now back to my biological mother. We have never been on good terms. She always made me feel less than along with my brother. She continuously would not let us do normal things throughout our childhood stating that we weren’t smart enough. At one point I applied to join engineering club, super excited when I got in and told her all about it to which she said that I wouldn’t last a year before they kicked me out because I was talentless just like my biological father. As I grew older I began asking more questions and one day it just slipped out. “Why did you stay so long if he was hitting you?” She had laughed and looked around at the house we were living in. “I was getting fucking rich off it and I still am” later on she would tell me “it would be best if you did the same thing.” She had always been like this so when I turned 17 me and my brother decided to move out and leave her behind. She tried contacting us constantly and showing up at our places of work apologizing and saying she wanted us back in her life. Finally when I turned 19 I allowed her back into my life and we have since grown closer, but she still has a few sharp edges to her and it pisses me off seeing as she can be so joyful about how she “scammed” (her words not mine) my grandmother for close to half a million and not even allow her to come to my baby shower. I’ve decided I’ll be throwing one for myself, but have not decided if she’s invited yet or not.
submitted by ArticFox0917 to u/ArticFox0917 [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:45 ScantlyChad [DIPLOMACY] The End of the Ottoman-Safavid War of 1517-1518

Though Shah Ismail Safavid had won two great battles against the Ottoman-Georgian forces which had invaded his realm, his realm could fight no longer. These two victories had come at extremely high costs, rendering the Sfavaids unable to continue the war in any useful capacity. The remnants of Ismail's army was a force less than half of what it once was; it had been reduced not only by Ismail's costly losses on the field of battle but also through disease and desertions, both maladies which now plagued his realm at large. And though he might have wanted to try for a third great victory, it was only after a great deal of protest from his advisors that Ismail was convinced that it was not the external invaders which were the largest threat to his rule, but the rising challenges from within. It was time to make peace.
And so, the Shah dismissed his levies and nomads, wintered in the interior of his realm once again, and then sent representatives to Tabriz to make peace with the Ottomans and Georgians. Ismail's heavy losses, inability to liberate his occupied lands, and piling internal debts and threats meant that his negotiating position would be weak. But, to their credit, the representatives were able to avoid the most extreme of demands, such as the recognition of the right of Hasan Sultan to rule in Shirvan, as well as securing a peace treaty without the unpopular provisions of previous Ottoman-Safavid peaces.
And so, the following treaty had been agreed upon and signed by both parties:
Article I: All parties agree to total, unrestricted cooperation in protecting against pirates in the Persian Gulf and the Indian Ocean.
Article II: All parties agree to uphold the ancient rights of merchants in each other's realms. This includes providing for their protection, ensuring they are given the same rights as native merchants, and that all debts held by merchants in one realm is considered valid in the other realm.
Article III: Shah Ismail will cede the regions of Armenia and Far Northern Tabriz to Georgia, along with the Melikdoms of Karabakh (Guylistan, Jaraberd, Khachen, and Dizak). Shah Ismail will cede the regions of Van, Mosul, Baghdad, Basra, and Western Ardalan to the Ottomans.
Article IV: To promise peace, Shah Ismail agrees to send his nephews, Hosayn Khan and Durmeş, as hostages to the Ottoman court for the duration of this peace.
Article V: The existing peace will be renewed in five years, upon which, the hostages presented will either be still in their position or be replaced for the sake of peace.
Article VI: The Sublime Porte agrees to pay Shah Ismail 400,000 civilian florins to help rebuild Tabriz.
Article VII: Shah Ismail agrees for Georgian agents to locate and rescue captives within the Safavid realm for a period of five years.
However, with all such peaces, this was nearly immediately broken.
Durmish Khan Shamlu had spent the last year of his loyal service to Shah Ismail skirmishing against the forces of Prince Demetre and Hasan Sultan, and he had been winning! And now, there was news from the Shah that rather than rewarded, he and his brother would be removed from command and sent as prisoners to the Ottomans? The insult was too great.
In what appears to be the first of many such instances, Durmish Khan Shamlu and his brother have renounced their allegiances to Shah Ismail. With such great losses, this Shah Ismail cannot be the prophesized, ever-victorious Shia warrior that was said to be sent by God, and why follow anyone if not that great warrior? The prophecy of the Mahdi has not yet come to fruition, perhaps it will come about another day.
In an attempt to restore some of his prestige and reputation as that of a Shia Gazi warrior, Ismail has started to make good on his promise to his fanatical Ulema and Qizilbash followers that his heretical SUnni subjects will be converted to Shia Islam by any manner possible, no matter how harsh. Mass conversions of the Iranian population have only just begun, with some efforts more brutal than others, sparking yet another round of malcontentment amongst the ever-troubled populace.
However, even with this attempt to restore his reputation as a Shia warrior, Shah Ismail is still losing even his most trusted followers. Several Turcoman tribes have migrated away from his realm, some returning to the Ottoman Empire where the new rhetoric of the Sultan Korkut appeals to them, others to the freer territories of the North Caucasus, and some even pressing further east into central Asia. Some of these tribes remain within the realm, such as the Shamlu brothers, who have taken with them a few hundred followers and continue to make war in the north against not just Hasan Sultan but also the people of the countryside. Such acts are common among the now disgruntled class of Turcoman nomads. Brigandage is on the rise in Shah Ismail's troubled realm, spurred on by wild fanatical nomads and Sunni Gazi resistance.
Such issues of the breakdown of the realm peace have also spread to Georgia. Though Armenia was ceded to the Georgians in the peace deal, their grasp over this region is tenuous, as it remains plagued by marauders from Ismail's army who came to this region in chase of the Georgian army and never left after the war was ended. Now, they roam the countryside in search of revenge and plunder against the local Christian population.
submitted by ScantlyChad to empirepowers [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:45 -Speed-Of-Light Creepy leering neighbour up to no good

I'm using a throwaway account for this, so bare with me. This will also be a longer post.
My partner and I (53M & 54M) have been dealing with this for quite some time now, a reoccurring issue if you will. Our neighbour, 58M, he and his now ex-wife moved in around the same time that we did, all was normal for only so long until they got comfortable. His ex wife would eventually try to invite us to a foursome, something that we denied, but at the time our neighbour didn't seem as keen as he is now. This was about 5 years ago, we've lived here for 15 years.
In the years following his wife making her departure, he has become increasingly leery and downright creepy towards us, especially my partner. Often lingering when we are out in our garden, or if my partner is working outside, he will take any excuse to interact with us and will often look a bit too long and make a few remarks that earn a side-eye. Not failing to mention that he has attempted to kiss us both, and has been shot down both times like an albino buck during open season. Any time we are out, and he is home, no matter if its just going to our bins or letting the dogs out for their business, he is there. He has his own trio of barky porch shitters that he uses as his alert system.
It has gotten now to the point that my partner isn't entirely comfortable in his own garden alone for the leering, I'm confident my husband would break every finger on his knuckles if he attempted to grope at him, but the constant watching is incredibly off-putting. He has taken complete disregard to my requests to piss off and leave us alone, each time increasingly more threatening than the last, yet he still persists. I'm not sure what will prevent me from knocking out every tooth in his skull at this point as I'm reaching the very end of my already frayed tether. Still, he won't admit he's gay yet, not that I care to be in his company for long enough to ask, but at this point you'd think he'd have seeked it out elsewhere as he certainly isn't getting it here.
Alternatively, my husband has schemed that we have a BBQ and beers in the evening, lure him in and corner him, to get his secrets out of him, finally allowing him to admit to his undisclosed sexuality secret. I firmly believe that if he has a drink in him and is offered the confidentiality of an evening, back garden fire pit, he might admit to his inclinations as they're most certainly not straight ones. I feel like he is edging closer to coming to terms with himself, perhaps when push comes to shove? I really do believe he is in dire need of someone to lay with and get it out of his system, but I don't think my poor husband will ever escape those watchful, albeit speccy, eyes of his.
TLDR: My neighbour probably might be gay, won't leave me or particularly husband alone and we're trying to get him to come out, in hopes of setting him on his path to self discovery.
submitted by -Speed-Of-Light to neighborsfromhell [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:45 throwRADazer My bf (M 21) is talking to his ‘girl best friend’ (F 21) a lot more and it is worrying me.

A bit of back story. Me (f 22) and my bf (m 21) have been together for over ten months and have had only little arguments along the way. He always had a girl best friend, let’s call her taylor (f 21) who has been there the whole time and has always been there for him, they had a bit of a falling out and the girl best friends bf made her cut contact with my boyfriend. Skip maybe 2 weeks and suddenly this new girl bestfriend (f 21) has shown up, she’s never been mentioned before but when originally mentioned he said he had met her online (a dating app) and they had never met in person.
Around 2 weeks later he mentioned might meet up with her to go on a walk like they used to, this flagged up to me as originally he said they had never met but apparently they had a few times before and nothing ever happened. Of course this turned into a conversation onto where I stated my perspective, I understand having best friends and meeting with people but I felt that this relationship formed more on a attraction basis, I was saying I trust him but feel if it was me in the situation and it was flipped I would never do that. Since then it was never mentioned and of my knowledge never happened, this was around 2 months ago and I noticed their convocation fizzled out.
Fast forward to a couple days ago on his phone popped up a message and as we have access to each other’s phones I never thought that anything would have come up to it, to my surprise they have been talking non stop for the past few weeks with a few messages being highlighted as ‘do you want to have some fun’ and a lot of compliments on her snap stories. I broke down immediately and spoke to him about this, apparently this was him flirting as a joke to her boyfriend, but obviously with those being the only messaged saved I immediately jumped to a conclusion. What do I do now? I’m trying to trust but I have this gut feeling that I’m going to get hurt as I’ve had this happen to me in the past with the ‘girl best friend’. I’m not sure how to set my boundaries anymore as I feel like if it was to her it’s emotionally cheating. HELP
submitted by throwRADazer to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:45 imp-sues My wellbutrin story, so that it never happens to someone else

Hello! This story is about a medical accident with wellbutrin that really affected my life and I want to share. It may contain triggering topics so please be warned. Stay safe

When I was 19 almost 20, I was about a year into my medication/mental health journey. I had found out I was bipolar, and had ADHD, and these were the main things I was treated for. I was taking ritalin, which for a bipolar person can be a risky choice as it causes mania, as well as lithium, to control my mania. Lithium was a little too good at its job though, and I quickly became only depressed, so, I got wellbutrin. And I liked it. It helped. I felt better. And happy. We kept trying out doses, going up slightly.

And then, I don't know.

My doctor was moving me from 150mg to 300mg, and then to 450 mg. Easy enough. But, he had given me two sets of pills to achieve this. 150s and 300s. I was supposed to use them to transition upwards. Every other day, taking 300 + 150. I don't know how, but something was lost in translation. I started taking two of the 300s, thinking that was what he told me to do. I was taking 600mg (too much) everyday, and then taking 60 (sometimes 90) mg of ritalin.
I felt crazy.
I was home for the summer, but terrified of the house. Couldnt leave my bedroom after my parents had gone to bed. I kept my toothbrush in my bedroom and locked my door each night. I would see shadow people out of the corner of my eye, walking in the dark. I saw their feet outside my door. I heard them whispering in the hall.
I would sit on the ground just take tweezers and pull out all my leg hair. I dont even know why. It became a terrible habit, and a strange way to soothe myself.
While doing this, I started to hear something. It was in my head, like I was going to sleep and thinking of random things. But the thoughts weren't mine. I wasn't thinking those words.
I could hear two men arguing, and then it was like they noticed me. They knew I was listening, and they didn't understand how.
Over the next few days of exploring this new ability I heard lots of conversations, even had them recount childhood memories to me. I would hear them scream and yell at me. I would feel them inside me trying to get my attention. I would close my eyes and see impressions of screaming faces, people trying to get me. Loud yelling. Then, it was like they would possess me, and it was like I wasn't there anymore.
I didn't understand what was happening. And it only got worse.
I went on a trip with my father and forgot my ritalin. Luckily, I had more than enough wellbutrin, which I knew treated ADHD. I started taking a little extra. I would crush it to make it work like instant ritalin. If 600mg wasn't hurting me, 1000mg certainly was.
my friends would call me to play minecraft and my fingers couldnt even operate the keys correctly. I was always shaking. The voices in my head were telling me they were worried for me, and possessed me to "help". I would walk around the beach house, terrified of any dark corner or unoccupied room. Even watching my father wash dishes made me nervous he was only pretending to come scare me (why would he do that?). I heard laughter, and whispers, and there weren't in my head. It was like a person was right on my shoulder, or like I was always in sleep paralysis. I would look in the mirror and swear my reflection was doing something I wasn't.
I went home, and told my doctors. They thought I had lost it from the ritalin and took me off it. Permanently. I was livid and so sad. It had helped me so much and now they said it was making me psychotic and they wouldnt put me on it. I told them I didnt even have any at the beach. No matter what I said, they wouldn't change their minds.
My emotions were so high. I would sob and sob and scream on the phone with them. And yet no one caught what was really happening.
I stayed with my boyfriend at the time while recovering from being cut off my meds, and I would swear he got in bed with me. I could feel the bed move. feel him breathing. and then I would hear the shower cut off- I was hallucinating him. I kept feeling someone grabbing the blankets, tugging at my feet. I would look and the shadow hallucination would hide from me as all the shadow people would. Fast. Uncatchable.
I kept hearing voices. Kept feeling like they were in my head. Kept feeling paranoid every second of the day. And kept taking those pills.
And then at some point, my doctor was confirming my medications.
"Are we at 300mg of wellbutrin? or 450, right?"
"Uh, 600 I think"
"I take 600 in the morning"
"I take two of the 300s. Right?"
"how long have you been doing this?"
Turns out, 600 was not the right answer. That amount can cause siezures. And I had been taking up to 1000 everyday. Everyday for over a month.
They stopped me taking it, but never brought back the ritalin. Said my mind had become fragile from the wellbutrin. I was in a full blown psychotic episode and now lost my adhd medication along with my sanity.
Without meds, my first semester that year was hard. I was tired all the time. Fell asleep at the wheel. I struggled to be an RA at college, and struggled to talk to people. My mind just felt cloudy 24/7. And it was like I couldn't think anymore, couldn't do math, or study. I was a physics major, and it seemed like that was going to be something undoable. Everything, all my memories and skills, has been scrambled by wellbutrin. I failed my classes. Almost got kicked out of being an RA.
It was like I couldn't do anything.
I have continued therapy, but within a year they diagnosed me with OSDD, and a year later full blown D.I.D (dissociative identity disorder). Of course, wellbutrin did not cause that, but I had no idea I had multiple personalities until the OD. Wellbutrin had taken down all the walls in my mind, and I had heard the personalities talking. And once the toothpaste was out of the tube, I couldn't put it back in: no matter how long I tried to ignore the voices. I had DID. I have DID.

I tell you all this for two reasons. For a warning: to READ YOUR INSTRUCTIONS and to never diy your doses. Make sure you write down what you need to take. And if something it wrong, go to the doctor fast and tell them whats happening. The longer, the worse damage your mind could get.
The other reason, is what I needed to hear that semester: you can get better.
It has been 2 years next month since the incident. And I have done what I thought I would never get to do. I am back on ritalin (but extended release now) and I even am back on a lose dose of wellbutrin, which I never thought I'd say. I completed my physics degree in 3 years, which is relatively uncommon, and something I would never dreamed I could do. I am alert. I am a quick thinker again. I am myself again. And I am happier than ever.
I still have D.I.D. And its something I am working on a lot. I also still have some brain scramble, not all the memories are right. But I am aware again, and what they expected to be permanent brain damage just turned into a rough memory. Now doctors have me talk to their medical students about what happened to me, and when I tell them and they gasp I am even able to laugh about it. Its become a silly story for doctors in training to learn from.
So if you had something like this happen, its gunna be okay. you can survive this. and you can get back to living your life. The fog will clear, you just have to wait for the sun.

Thank you for reading. this is a really hard incident I usually keep a secret, but it was the hardest time in my life. Please be safe with your wellbutrin, and remember, 600 is too. much. wellbutrin.
submitted by imp-sues to Wellbutrin_Bupropion [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:45 Fun_Temperature_1568 He badly bruised my ego, twice in 16 years

This is my first try at posting something.
I (32F) have always been very conscious about my appearance and not so good looks, as a fat girl among a bunch of healthy and fit relatives. I always knew that I will never be successful in the romance department, no guy would ever want me. I have heard comments about my looks from people from a very early age. So, all these resulted in low self esteem, and confidence. I had crushes on boys when I was 14/15, but never let anyone know because I was afraid of judgmental eyes.
But somehow I got confessed to when I was 14, by a boy who was a neighbor of my then bestie. He was my age, good looking, and very smart. I knew he was above my league, and I happened to be crushing on one of my classmates at that time. So, I rejected him. Just after my 15th birthday, I got a written confession from another boy (he was almost 21), he said in the letter that he had loved me for 3 years at that time. (I know it sounds fross now, a 18 yo falling in love with a 12yo, but it didnot at that time.. Also it's fairly normal in our country/society.) I was well acquainted with him, and I tbought of him as a brother. So rejected him too. Though I rejected these two, they gave boost to my self esteem. "So I don't really look that ugly" was what I thought.
A year later, I was 16, and one day one of my classmates and myfriends (Call him B) confessed his love to me. He had written a love letter actually. I was attracted to B already, and after reading his heartfelt declaration of undying, everlasting love for me, helped me make up my mind. I was ready to accept him as my bf, but I still said I need some time to process. He told me, "Take as much time as you need. I will wait for you no matter how long." For a teenaged me, he sounded so convincing that I told my then bestie that I was going to say yes. But unexpectedly, two days later I found out he confessed to and got together with another girl (P). That girl was way way better than me in every thing. My bestie advised me to take the love letter to that girl, so that she knows what a jerk B is. But I didn't, why break up two people who love each other! But I expected an apology from him, turned out he was worse than I thought. B took back his love letter from me through a mutual friend giving me a flimsy excuse. I knew then, I don't have a chance in hell against P. I was hurt beyond what I could understand at that time, as this was the incident which led to many of the terrible mistakes I made later on in my life. Only now I'm beginning to realize how that blow to my self esteem had changed me inside. The hard earned confidence was all but gone.
Few months after that I fell in love with a guy (R). He knew I loved him, he rejected my love. But kept me strung to him by trying to be my bff. He would share everything with me, every little thing that happened on day to day basis. Once I asked him very sad and tired, "Why can't you just love me?" He immediately told me that our friendship was over, since he didn't want to keep hurting me.( At that time he had no gf.) But almost a week later he contacted me again, sayong he couldn't live without me as his friend. I stayed as hisfriends, sometimes he would act as though he loved me back, but hadn't realized yet. Then one day I was told by a mutual friend that he has a gf, they had even spent nights together. This I considered as breaking my trust, since he never told me about any gf and instead was behaving as if he was falling in love with me too. That was the second and even more powerful blow, because soon after Iwenrt back to normal, I confessed to a guy (H). I was 18, he was 26. After just a little over a year, we got married. It was rushed, I was in a hurry, to not be left behind again. I once told H that if he ever falls in love with someone else, just let me know. I will leave without making a fuss. He was not happy that I said it. Couple years later he cheated on me, multiple times. Once when I was pregnant. Another blow. Not only this blow, H had burnt out the last bit of confidence in me. I grew insecure, I felt inferior to everyone. Years later I gathered enough courage and left him.
A year later, I was healing from all the trash I have been through. One day B called me, said he regrets playing with my feelings like hedisd years ago. Then he confessed to me, again. Like the first time, he said all the right things, did all the right things. I was thinking of giving him a second chance, but suddenly he left from my life. I was worried at first, may be something bad had happened. But now I know better. He comes online on Whatsapp, facebook. But never sends any reply to my sent messages, forget about him sending me something, anything .But he hasn't called/texted anything since last saturday. I have a feeling that history is repeating itself, he found someone else. I understand that. This time too Im expecting an apology from him, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
I only hope that that vicious cycle of betrayals that started with him, ends with him this time. I wanted to tell him all these at first, but I know now, he doesn't deserve to know.
(Will update y'all if there's any news.)
submitted by Fun_Temperature_1568 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:45 alexspyforever ESC 1957 Germany (Frankfurt)

The second edition of ESC took place in Frankfurt, Germany. Does that mean one of the German songs won in 1956 as the usual tradition is? Well no it was Switzerland who also hosted the first edition but apparently didn't want to host another the next year. To this day rumours persist that Germany got second place probably with "Im Wartesaal zum großen Glück" from Walter Andreas Schwarz but since no ranking was released to this day we can't know for sure. Some even believe Germany won. Anyway the good thing about this contest is that this contest can be fully watched with moving images. The director of this was Michael Kehlmann, an Austrian movie director. I sinceryly hope he was better at camerawork for his movies as it was filmed rather static and with a persistence of keeping the artists heads in close-up for lengthy periods which felt rather disturbing to me. Quality wise the songs were in my opinion a lot weaker than the previous edition with most contestants playing it rather safe and with little variety.
1957 saw the introduction of a real jury system where each country had to divide 10 points over the rivaling countries. So here it was made clear you can't vote for your own country, a rule which probably was not in place in 1956 but as of 1957 it was set in stone and never changed. Don't really know if that meant that 1 country could give the full 10 points to just 1 country. I notice however that only France divided their points over 2 countries while all other countries divided their points over 3 to 6 countries. No one ended up with 0 points and every country got points from at least 2 countries. Strange system but at least better than the shady backroom voting from the previous edition, which certainly was put into question and led to protest. To this day there is still a points system and no matter the result there is always people not understanding why song X ended up so low and song Y so high. Some things never change and this adds to the fun. Apparently the points system was borrowed from UK's 'Festival of British Popular Songs' which decided on the entry representing the UK in the ESC. So a scoreboard was introduced which was adapted after each call (by a traditional phone) from one of the juries of the competing countries.

With the 3 countries broadcasting but not sending a song for various reasons (UK, Austria, Denmark) last year now joining the competition there was no more need for each country to send 2 songs. So 1 song per country (and this remained so for later editions) but 2 people were allowed on stage (in 1956 only solo artists on stage). So more countries involved (10 vs 7 in 1956) but less songs (10 vs 14 in 1956). Last change was a rule stipulating that songs could not exceed 3 minutes but a few countries really went over that limit by quite a margin. Maybe that rule was introduced quite late and therefore no one was disqualified for exceeding it.

We saw a first duet with Denmark. Italy and the Netherlands had a musician accompanying the singer. We also saw a first prop emerging (Germany) and some other costumes than the traditional tuxedo or evening gown (Denmark).

For those wanting more info about this edition check the wikipedia page:

The full show can be watched here:

  1. Belgium - Straatdeuntje - Bobbejaan Schoepen (32 years) starts at 3:15
    Language: Dutch - Result: 8th (tied) - Points: 5
Just like previous edition the ESC kicked off with a song sung in Dutch however this time it comes from the Dutch/Flemmish speaking part of Belgium (Flanders). Bobbejaan Schoepen was the first Flemmish singer to try. Even though his success period was far before my time I knew that whistling was a trademark of his. He even had a song dedicated to whistling 'De jodelende fluiter' (The yodling whistler). Bobbejaan had an obsession with the Far West and often dressed with a cow-boy hat and later founded a theme park with a Wild West theme giving it his name 'Bobbejaanland'. Here of course he was as expected in a suit but with his hands in his pockets immediately giving him a pretty laid back attitude. The song is indeed a happy one about a melody he hears everywhere he goes making him happy. Don't think this had a chance winning, enjoyable definitely but in the end a bit too simplistic.

  1. Luxembourg - Amours mortes aka Tant de peine - Danièle Dupré (29-30 years) starts at 7:25
    Language: French - Result: 4th (tied) - Points: 8
Just like last year Luxembourg send a female French singer to represent them. As expected she went for a French chanson about a break up. I'm absolutely no fan of these type of songs unless it has some quicker pace. Also I often compare French chansons with Edith Piaff whose famous hits at least had some recognizable melody and chorus. Danièle's birth date varies from the source. The most common is that she was born in 1927 but other sources say her birth year is 1938 which is a huge difference. Looks to me 1927 is correct as she already had quite a bit of songs as a minor star and retired from the music business in 1958. She would during the show become long lasting friends with her compatriot entering for France Paule Desjardins.

  1. United Kingdom - All - Patricia Bredin (22 years) starts at 10:55
    Language: English - Result: 7th - Points: 6
Patricia Bredin had the honour to be the UK's first ESC entry. She won as part of the Malcolm Lockyer Quartet the first Festival of British Popular Songs convincingly. Patricia was in the first place an actress (Malcolm Lockyer was a film composer and conductor so makes sense) but also did musicals. Presenter Anaid Iplicjian (from Armenian descent) referred to the UK as England a few times. With a duration of 1'52 this song remained the shortest in ESC history until 2015 when Finland came with a song of only 1'27. So yeah I can be pretty short about this entry too. She has a high soprano voice so even if your English is good it's just hard to understand what she is singing most of the time. It felt more like an opera song and I guess that's why it didn't do too well here. Was the disappointing result the reason UK didn't enter in 1958 and also didn't organise the Festival of British Popular Songs? However from 1959 they wouldn't miss a single ESC. Patricia's song was never recorded or released on a single.

  1. Italy - Corde della mia chitarra - Nunzio Gallo (28 years) starts at 13:35
    Language: Italian - Result: 6th - Points: 7
In previous edition two young females were sent, this time a male artist got a try. Nunzio Gallo was accompanied by a guitar player who gets quite a bit of exposure with some solos (a really long one at the start). Nunzio sings a ballad which gave me much more latino/Spanish vibes than Italian. He sings a love song not for a woman but for his guitar. This theme actually reminds me of the Belgian entry of 2010 Tom Dice with "Me and my guitar". The biggest problem is the song's duration with over 5 minutes going well beyond the maximum time limit. Also its very slow pace makes it very hard to sit through. Fortunately Italy would bring a real hit in the next edition.

  1. Austria - Wohin kleines Pony - Bob Martin (34 years) starts at 19:45
    Language: German - Result: 10th - Points: 3
Debut for Austria but Bob Martin wasn't the first Austrian performing in ESC. That honour goes to Freddy Quinn entering in 1956 for Germany with "So geht das jede Nacht". The song is accompanied by jazzy music. Of course a 30+ guy singing about riding his pony through the fields is a tad weird but at least he seems to be having a good time smiling a lot during his performance. It's also the only song which is (slightly) more uptempo than the other entries. A last place is rather harsh but I can understand this song perhaps didn't really fit well in the contest. After ESC he remained popular in southern Austria. His real name was Leo Heppe.

  1. Netherlands - Net als toen - Corry Brokken (24 years) starts at 23:20
    Language: Dutch - Result: 1st - Points: 31
The winning song and this time even a critical one like me will find it hard to disagree. If they stuck to the rules this entry would be disqualified as it is going approximately 1 and half minute over the 3 minutes time limit. However it doesn't feel like ever lasting like Italy's due to a good pacing, great vocals and some really good music accompanying the song. Dutch conductor Dolf van der Linden was so eager to start making the orchestra start before Corry Brokken reached the microphone. Corry's previous entry was a break up song now it's again about a relationship but one that is already lasting a very long time. So yes the couple especially the man have become old (and grey) and their love has become a bit stale. But since he can still flirt (with other women I suppose) his wife wishes he would be sweet and gallant towards her, give her roses, say she is beautiful and all that jazz just like the time they first fell in love (referring to the song's title). Yes it's kinda weird given the young age of Corry and it's rather schmulzy. Also the style is a bit the same as her 1956 song "Voorgoed voorbij". However her vocals and the accompanying music really make up for that. About halfway a violin joins her on stage who also gets a solo towards the end. I'm not surprised this won quite convincingly and deservedly.

  1. Germany - Telefon, Telefon - Margot Hielscher (37 years) starts at 28:30
    Language: German - Result: 4th (tied) - Points: 8
Host Germany did the opoosite of Italy after sending 2 men in 1956, now a woman was selected. Margot Hielscher already tried her luck at the German National final in 1956 but was unsuccessful. In 1957 she won and became the first woman to represent Germany at ESC. She was the first artist to use a prop on stage. What was more applicable than a telephone since that was the instrument for many years to come for the juries of the participating countries to send their points. Margot used the phone for another purpose though, expecting a call from her lover. Between talking in several languages (mostly saying hello) she sings in a calm and soft voice. The song in itself is not that special but the phone as gimmick is cool. Her song was also too long almost like 4 minutes. Placing 4th wasn't too bad and we would see her return the next year with a more uptempo song (and another prop). For the German audience she was no unknown being active since the 1940s as both singer and actress.

  1. France - La belle amour - Paule Desjardins (34-35 years) starts at 33:40
    Language: French - Result: 2nd - Points: 17
A song about love in a French café. I liked this one more than the French song from Luxembourg. It came second and I don't think that is undeserved given she has a lovely voice even though the song in itself quickly fades from my memory. Paule had moderate success with a musical career lasting until 1962. When she married she stopped singing and started working as designer for the lingerie company of her husband. Her full birth date is unknown, Spanish wiki mentioned she was born in 1922.

  1. Denmark - Skibet skal sejle i nat - Birthe Wilke (20 years) and Gustav Winckler (31 years) starts at 38:00
    Language: Danish - Result: 3rd - Points: 10
Denmark made its debut bringing the ESC its first duet. They were actually the only contestants in the first Dansk Melodi Grand Prix where 6 songs were entered 2 by them as duet and 2 by each as solo artists. As native Dutch/Flemmish speaker I can clearly hear it's from the same language family (German) as mine even though I hardly understand a word of it. I like the sound of it though and while it's nice that the presenter tells us that the translation of the song is "when the ship is sailing out" looking at the man's uniform it's pretty clear he is a sailor saying goodbye to his beloved girlfriend and future wife who is also wearing a typical dress from the country. There is also some gestures like him kissing a picture of her indicating he will be thinking about her on his trip and putting a ring on her finger meaning they will marry when he comes back. Actually the sailing theme is already clear before we see the couple as the orchestra starts with the sound of a ship's horn. It's all lovey dovey and cute but it works and they sing in harmony, complementary. A top 3 placing was well deserved in my opinion. Oh yes and there was in the end an 11 second kiss which definitely shocked the audience. They were applauded anyway. Did that hamper their chances to win, nah I think the Dutch entry was just too strong.

  1. Switzerland - L'Enfant que j'étais - Lys Assia (33 years) starts at 42: 30
Language: French - Result: 8th (tied) - Points: 5
Lys Assia returned to defend the ESC crown of Switzerland. The new crown however went to the other returning performer from 1956 Corry Brokken. Interesting to note that her birthday was the 3rd of March, the same day as the the contest of 1957 took place. I can't think of any other reason why the ESC took place so early (usually it's in May). She wasn't however gifted a good end result finishing a tied 8th with Belgium. Hard to understand as I found this song about a happy childhood very sweet and more captivating than her entries from 1956. However it was also too long about 4 minutes. But vocally I found her a lot better than the French songs from Luxembourg and France. Was it perhaps too childish or too happy? Notice that the other 2 songs in the bottom 3 were Belgium and Austria both upbeat songs. However Lys would still come back for a third consecutive time in 1958 just like winner Corry Brokken. Lys would do well a year later but Corry suffered even a worse fate as title defender than Lys.

My top 10 was a bit harder to compile except the top 2 which stuck with me after 1 hearing. The rest is not too memorable for me.

  1. Netherlands
  2. Denmark
  3. Switzerland
  4. Germany
  5. Austria
  6. Belgium
  7. France
  8. Luxembourg
  9. Italy
  10. UK

Deceased artists
Paule Desjardins (1962) 39-40 years (only the Spanish wiki has a year of decease)
Gustav Winckler (1979, cause: car crash) 53 years
Bob Martin (1998) 75 years
Nunzio Gallo (2008) 79 years
Bobbejaan Schoepen (2010) 85 years
Danièle Dupré (2015) 88 years, French wiki has birth year 1938 and decease in 2013 (75 years)
Corry Brokken (2016) 83 years
Margot Hielscher (2017) 97 years
Lys Assia (2018) 94 years

Alive artists
Patricia Bredin (88 years)
Birthe Wilke (87 years)
submitted by alexspyforever to RelivingEurovision [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:44 -summer-death i hate when women are tall and muscular and beefy yk thats so unattractive i literally hate buff muscly women so much there has never been an attractive muscular girl ever prove me wrong

and now we wait
submitted by -summer-death to teenagers [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:44 AwakenTheNarrowRoad I have no romantic interests

According to my churches doctrines because the bible tells us we will be like the angels it is strongly believed that upon entering heaven when we meet our husband's and wives...
Well will likely speak
"I have no romantic interests."
"Neither do I"
"There is no physical attraction"
"It doesn't exist"
"Isn't this bliss?"
"Heavenly bliss" 😃😵‍💫
Some state we may have no memories of our earth lives or we will have very little memory of life before death. Minds wiped clean the ultimate brainwashing....
As such my church, and many others I've encountered have had strong beliefs against marriage relations. The sleeping in separate beds. The stern "SEX IS FOR PROCREATION ONLY"
......... I cannot buy into that. Honestly just no it doesn't sit well with me and in my mind.. yeah thats not heaven at all thats some messed up fever dream for those who utterly despise intimacy or have strong asexual values they wish to impose upon all of the world 🌎. I mean it's no wonder the world has gone full blown NSFW injecting it into absolutely possible venue.
I think when Jesus said "we will be as the angels" he meant immortal, perfect un-aging bodies. I also think the was trolling the Pharisees who were trolling him lol. While we may forget the sins of our pre-death life I believe memories will remain. I strongly believe we will continue on marrying and birthing children and filling in the infinite space in the universe. Telling the redemption story to generation after generation of humanity as we explore our infinite universe.
Why is God building each of us a mansion without the need or desire to fill them with the life and laughter of future generations? So we can sit alone in them 1 to a mansion contemplating bliss and the why of the universe? Hardly... the bible seems to strongly indicate the possibility of a low amount of believers to be saved in the end. That we would be suprised at those who don't make it. Consider the story of the scattered seed. At the same time it is indicated that heaven itself will be infinitely large beyond our wildest dreams as well as the earth being rebuilt 8.5 billion people and still we occupy a very small percentage of the earth.
Forgive the long post, down vote me if you must but I just cannot fathom the future or immortality being a asexual paradise and I honestly see that as more of a Hell than a heaven lol. Why should the bible contain some of the most NSFW romantic poetry on the beauty of intimacy and male female relations as well as the most romantic stories ever told if God in his infinite mercy plans to abolish that very thing in heaven?
submitted by AwakenTheNarrowRoad to Christian [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:43 highlighteronfleek Workout for someone with limited knee flexion

I had a surgery last year for a cyst in my femur bone, since then my knee flexion has been limited I have been working on my range of motion with my physiotherapist but to no avail.
Due to limited movement I have gained weight (like 12lbs) too. Can someone suggest the modifications I can do to regular workouts or help me out with workouts? I cannot afford to get a trainer right now since I left my job cause my (married) boss was a pervert and I sorta called him out. I have been replaced with an ‘easy’ person who is going out with him.
submitted by highlighteronfleek to workout [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:43 ASICmachine Reflecting on the 2021 Bull Market and how that may as well has been the biggest catalyst for Crypto adoption to ever be seen. (x-post from /r/Cryptocurrency)

Reflecting on the 2021 Bull Market and how that may as well has been the biggest catalyst for Crypto adoption to ever be seen. (x-post from /Cryptocurrency) submitted by ASICmachine to CryptoCurrencyClassic [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:43 FantasyWriter1987 Any recommendations for "Game of Thrones style political intrigue and warfare"?

I saw this in an OP I came across yesterday:
"Most of the fantasy novels I am aware of now are about Game of Thrones style political intrigue and warfare"
And well, if anyone has done this well I'd love to get the name of their series! Massive bonus if they use third person limited. It's very difficult for me to get into a story if the author is constantly telling me what is happening, telling me what a character is feeling.
I've been looking (maybe not hard enough) for another ASOIAF ever since I first read it in 2011. One thing that makes it so difficult to read anything else is in ASOIAF you feel like you're right there in the scene in the character's head. Another is I'm much more into low magic than high magic. I'd like to expand that but it would probably have to be done a certain way for me to enjoy it. I just can't get into a book that has emotion spryn popping up every 15 seconds.
Has anyone else written a huge medieval fantasy series with a rotating cast of POVs that have their own voice instead of them all sounding basically the same?
I'm sure that nobody has copied exactly what GRRM has done with ASOIAF, but if there is anyone anywhere near the ballpark I'd love to check out their series!
submitted by FantasyWriter1987 to Fantasy [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:43 Ellie_Bear_K Wedding blues

Should a second marriage be as important as a first?! My fiance and I will be getting married in October of this year (2023). We have both been married once before, to other people. Already our wedding has had so many sad and disappointing turns, and it hasn't even happened yet! My MOH was my brother's fiancé (mother to my beautiful niece), but she dropped out!!! She said she can still be in the wedding party as a regular bridesmaid, but it was too much stress to plan my bridal shower AND hers and my brother's wedding (which is also happening just a bit before mine). I was, understandably, sad about this but I also could see where she was coming from. I gracefully accepted, and then appointed my soon to be sister in law as my MOH. After assuring me she could handle this task SHE TOO dropped out as MOH! She said she would still do the roll, but couldn't plan anything that was the MOHs job. I was so angry and heartbroken that the women I thought were special enough to be in my wedding party couldn't come through for me! The other major issue is that my groom (bless his wonderful heart) has been dealing with family that doesn't care! We have a small budget and an even smaller circle of family and friends we'd want around us for such a sacred day. So imagine, you only invited a small amount of people and almost half of them won't be attending! No one in his family seems to think this wedding is a big deal! We assume they think, because it's his second wedding, they don't need to take it seriously! He's heartbroken at this! Our wedding is only a 50 minute drove from the town his entire family lives in! There's no reason they should miss this wedding! My family is spread out and most live about 2 hours away depending on traffic. They all still plan to be there! My fiancés PARENTS are the MAIN ONES treating this wedding like it's not important! We rent our home from them (as they have many properties they rent to people), and his dad continues to treat us like it's just a waste of perfectly good rent money in his eyes. To clear one thing up, he has no idea how much we are or are not spending, so therefore has no idea if we're wasting money! (Luckily my aunt and grandmother have graciously paid for many of the larger priced items for the wedding, saving us from going broke!) It's so easy to just say "F them, we'll be fine without them", but it doesn't make my fiances heart hurt less! We are completely, madly in love and everyone can tell! My family and our friends are all overjoyed to see us both finally happy with our true love! We just don't understand why (mostly his parents) don't care! His parents have seen him struggle time and time again in his previous relationship, and yet they show no support or happiness in seeing him Finally happy and loved the right way! What do we do? How do we move forward? How can I help him to hurt less?
submitted by Ellie_Bear_K to wedding [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:43 Illustrious-Bunch277 I’m 19 years old, and dating and finding friends are quite difficult for me. I’m going to commit suicide soon. Thundernut. Your new born baby don’t need your attention you goofy fuck.

I have no friends, have never had a girlfriend, and have forgotten how to converse with others. Every time I go for work or college, I check social media and see couples laughing, hugging, kissing, and doing other things that excite me despite the fact that I'll never be in one. Despite the fact that I am only a few years old, love has always been a major concern for me. However, despite the fact that others compliment my nature, they rarely exhibit romantic interest in me, and I have come to the conclusion that unless this changes, I will remain lonely. I'm not going to find love. Despite your conventionally attractive features, you have very limited chance of attracting a love interest.
People, contrary to popular belief, care significantly more about appearances than they do about personalities. I doubt I'll ever feel returned love because I lack the conventionally appealing appearance that would entice someone to date me.
submitted by Illustrious-Bunch277 to confessions [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:42 CommandNo3498 Can’t face a girl who reminds me of my mom

My boyfriend has a good friend, and him and his girlfriend are having a baby soon. Although our boyfriends are closer with each other, we got to know each other better through our boyfriends. We hung out with them for a while when we first started dating but after a few years it slowed.
We never had a conversation about it or agreed to stop seeing them or anything like that. That’s why I didn’t understand why I was so anxious, panicked and averted to attending their baby shower once we found out they were pregnant a year or so later.
Then I remembered a time when we had heard that these two got into a domestic dispute. She hit him for spilling hot food on their bed and promptly called her father to their home to essentially jump the man she is now having a child with. He did not press charges once the police arrived, they stayed together, and the next big thing to happen between them was the conception of their child. I know I don’t know all of the details so I won’t and cannot judge. All I know is that he made her angry at what I’m assuming was a bad time and he paid the price for that.
A big reminder of what it was like growing up with my mom unfortunately. Didn’t realize it reminded me until much later.
I was extremely overwhelmed by the idea of attending their baby shower. I didn’t know why but the shame of physically not being able to force myself to go was ruining my life for months. I felt terrible and ashamed for being as afraid as I was. I didn’t realize merely hearing about that incident triggered me until my friend mentioned that this may be the reason I don’t want to see them again while they’re in the process of having the baby.
We didn’t go to the baby shower. My boyfriend assured them that we have a lot of shit going on in our lives right now which is why we couldn’t make it, which is true. I’m currently in treatment for PTSD and he’s been working to the ends of the map all year. Still got them gifts and everything. I still feel extremely guilty for making assumptions by seeing my mom in her. I feel sympathy for my moms mistakes in life so I feel compelled to feel the same about this girl. The last thing I would ever want to do is compare her to my mom and how my mom treated me. I understand we’re in two very different parts of our lives but I hate that I’m making my issues hers without her even knowing it.
I know there will be a day where I have to face her again. I know it’s soon because we have a mutual friends wedding coming up. I don’t want to feel this way the next time that happens. I’m currently in somatic therapy trying to find some ways to cope and live with my triggers. I’m also trying extremely hard not to feel guilty for separating myself from what feels like an unsafe position. I feel selfish but I know my body and mind is just trying to keep myself safe and out of harms way. I’m trying to show myself kindness because of that.
submitted by CommandNo3498 to CPTSD [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:42 lainetn Sleep training help!! Advice appreciated!

This is my first post so I’m not sure if I’m doing this correctly but I am looking for a little advice! 😊
My son (only child so far) is 7 months old. He was always a good sleeper and slept in his bassinet with no issues up until he was about 4.5-5 months old when we were on vacation and he ended up in the bed with us after he woke up in the middle of the night. That split decision changed everything.. That was first time he slept with us and ever since that day he has not been able to sleep alone. We transitioned from a bassinet to a crib because I thought he needed more room to sleep and was uncomfortable but he seems to hate his crib. We have a set bedtime routine- around 7:30-8pm we give him a bath, I turn sound machine on & dim lights in a room to feed him. He’s formula fed. He falls asleep easy & I place him in his crib. Turn on the monitor & leave. This used to last a couple of hours before he’d wake up crying & we’d move him to our bed but now it’s gotten a lot worse. We recently had to move into my parents for a few months while we are buying a house so the environment is different for him but now he wakes up after 30 minutes of being in his crib & cries hysterically. It breaks my heart. But once I place him in the bed, he’s back to sleep in minutes & sleeps great. We never intended to co-sleep and even though I love the extra snuggles, I want to get to a place where he can sleep on his own & in his crib. I should also mention the crib is in the room with us & next to my side of the bed which I thought would help him feel comforted but it clearly doesn’t lol. I’ve also bought sleep sacks (weighted & not) & he seems to hate them. He doesn’t take pacifiers either.. we’ve tried many times but he just doesn’t like them. Now, my husband has to sleep in a separate room from us because if little one feels that he can’t move around as much like he can when it’s just him & one of us then he wakes & cries until one of us leaves the bed which is typically my husband. We’re really struggling to find a way to do this that helps us all sleep better. I’m not at all against anyone who chooses to do CIO but I do not think it is for us.. I have started to look into Ferber or takingcarababies but not familiar with any sleep training practice other than CIO. Are there other sleep training methods to recommend or are we just doomed? We’re new at this & both work full time & desperately want to fix this sleep chaos so we can all sleep better 😭
Also wanted to add nap schedule. He usually takes one long nap around 11-11:30 for 1-2 hours when he’s home on the weekends with us and then at daycare they do nap time around the same time and it usually lasts for 1-2 hours as well (on most days). So we try to be consistent with that but other than that he doesn’t nap much the rest of the day aside from 20-30 minutes here & there when he tires himself out. I’m not sure if this is something we need to change as well which we’re open to do if it helps! We just took the advice of the daycare at the time & tried to stay consistent with that time frame.
Thank you so much for any advice!! 😊
submitted by lainetn to NewParents [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:42 Throwaway_6807 Intellectual differences?

I'm (24M) dating someone (22F) who is intellectually very different to me and it's leading to communication issues. What should I do?
Sarah is my first proper girlfriend and after a year of online-dating it was great to find someone who I gelled with pretty well. I realised that I was never that nervous on our dates and could be myself, which was a huge thing. I suffer from a medical condition (nothing major) that her family member has too, and so we weirdly bonded over that and I felt incredibly comfortable around her.
We've been dating for 4-5 months however, I'm finding I am having communication issues with her more and more. Which I think might be an intellectual gap. She has dyscalculia and struggles to tell the time, which she can't help. But there's other issues. If I ever bring up a topic I often say it and then have to repeat in a more simpler version for her. She's Spanish, and I first thought it might be a language barrier but honestly I think it's just that she has big gaps in her knowledge. For example:
- She asked me what part of a cow pork came from
- Didn't realise that trains run on tracks, she thought they were called 'train trails'
- Sometimes we'll be talking about a topic and she'll need me to repeat individual words and explain what they are (not a language barrier, as she doesn't know what it means in Spanish either)
- Doesn't know who the general government are
- Believes gemstones have an impact on someone manifesting love
- Doesn't understand more complicated plot lines in films and needs them explained
I realise this might sound condescending and I'm really trying not to be. It's just it hit me when we were at a meal together the other day that there was a lot of silence in the conversation because I didn't want to bring up topics or things that she might not get. So I'm constantly self-censoring myself. After I've spent a few hours with her, I can see myself getting frustrated (although I don't show it) at having to repeat myself or not really connecting with her.
It's so difficult because she honestly is the nicest and most loving person I've ever met. She always puts other people first and has such a wholesome view of the world. She gets on with all my friends and family, and they like her.
We're incredibly compatible in every other way: we both aren't huge into drinking, we love walking in nature, not huge partiers, have a similar view of people. But the communication thing is getting to me. What should I do?
submitted by Throwaway_6807 to dating [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:42 experimenta_l My life is imploding, what do I do?

Hi! For context, I am a guy in my early 30's. I was an overachiever in my 20's, built a successful company, travelled the world, had the most incredible experiences, met a girl, bought a house and was earning a nice income and living a wonderful lifestyle. I hit 30 and suddenly things didn't feel right anymore. I'm now 32 and I've been ignoring it, hoping it will go away but the call is getting louder and I feel like I'm imploding and I feel so lonely in this and like nobody understands. What should I do and what is going on?
In more detail...
We've been together for 6 years. She was always less driven and less mature than me and has spent most of the relationship studying. She's about to finally graduate. She causes a lot of petty conflict in the relationship and sometimes it feels like it's low-level emotionally abusive. She's promised to go to therapy but it never really happens. I'm sad because I've grown a lot and I don't feel like she has and I'm pulled often into her trauma. I get a lot of attention from other girls and she will sometimes say things to make me doubt myself and it's starting to affect my confidence. But the idea of breaking up is devastating because I love her and I want this to work but I don't know how much longer I can carry her for.
I've lived in my city for most of my life. I bought a house and it's a little far out and I'm not loving it. I know I don't want to live in this city for my entire life but my company and staff are based here and my GF likes it. Uprooting is possible but it would mean replacing most of my team. I'm increasingly unhappy with where I'm living and not even sure I still want to live in the same country anymore. I hate the idea of spending my whole life in the same country but my GF doesn't ever want to leave.
My company is digital so I can work pretty much from anywhere. It's reasonably successful but if we relocated to a bigger economy, I believe it could be much bigger. I've been doing it a long time and know I don't want to do it forever, but I still have a lot more I want to do and achieve with it. I feel dissatisfied with the growth and don't feel particularly challenged anymore, although I am still passionate about it and want to see it/me grow. The pandemic hit us hard and lost quite a bit of momentum.
Overall I feel like things aren't right and like I'm suffocating. I'm so unhappy, and the idea of not changing things pains me. But the idea of changing things also pains me. I'm so confused and I wondered if anyone had any advice or had experienced anything similar? What would you do in my situation?
submitted by experimenta_l to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:42 NoInstruction8466 US Permanent Residency Application

My employment is sponsoring my permanent residency in the US and the attorney hired by my employer has been working on the application. I am currently a Canadian citizen if it matters. Ever since October of 2022, when I asked for updates, the response from the attorney had been "We are waiting for the U.S. Department of Labor to issue the prevailing wage rate, which is required before we can file". I was wondering if it's normal for it to take such a long time? Any advice is appreciated!
submitted by NoInstruction8466 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:41 _sarahgeddon My (29f) friend (33m) broke my rib when we were early on in dating. (Hanging out a few months) He’s been detached ever since and has hurt me emotionally. What now? Do I bill him for the hospital stay?

Hi, I met this guy on tinder in the winter. He was very sweet and we hit it off so well. Mutual chemistry, attraction, and flirting. He even sang me a birthday song on my birthday like right at midnight, as a text.
I found him to be so thoughtful and interesting to talk to. I got a huge smile on my face when he’d messaged and I was growing to trust him.
We met up in April and had two amazing dates. Lots of chemistry, great conversation, fun flirty friendship. We kissed and on the second date, I actually grew to really have a crush on him. We sat on his couch for 7 hours and just talked. He played my favorite album for me and we talked and talked about music. We kissed and cuddled, and tbh I felt wonderful. I felt like it was an easy, mutual connection. I really enjoyed him, his thoughts and opinions, and his energy.
I don’t want a really serious relationship, and neither does he. So we kinda just kept it a flirty and fun thing. Until the third date. Tragically during a weird bear hug, he broke my ribs. He popped my sternum pretty badly and the other rib is so injured. It’s been five weeks and I’m in so much pain sill.
I’ve been a vet tech for years. I moved up Here to work and to heal from past bad relationships. I got very emotional from not being able to work. And not being able to have my life: had to quit aerial yoga, no bike riding, chores and activities hurt, and I was in pain so much those first weeks. Initially, I was like “boy goodbye you suck”. But I changed my mind when he began to help me. I think I may have trauma bonded with him.
He would lift things I couldn’t, help me grocery shop, help with my household and all along we were really bonding. Or I believed we were. We cuddled and I felt so safe to talk to him. To open up to him and show him parts of myself and my world. I made it known that despite what happened, I wanted us to get through it together since it involves us both. And I let him know consistently that I had feelings for him. A crush on a boy who seemed willing to help make up for his mistake, and who seemed genuinely interested in me.
But since the rib incident maybe I was in my own head. He started getting detached. There was a moment he wasn’t offering any emotional care, he was distant and far away. If I asked him to help me do things he’d come right away and make time. But if I asked him to hang out with me or do something romantic with me he’d said no. I brought it up and he said it wasn’t me and he wasn’t pushing me away. But obviously I felt that way. The more and more he detached, the more I attached. Hot and cold relationships are very dangerous for me. He made me feel so comfortable, and then he was distant. I felt so confused. Addicted to the chase. For weeks. Until last week when I brought it up.
I went out and bought him a lovely turtle flower pot and gave him some mint I had grown myself. I wrote him a handwritten card about how much I cared about him, how open I was to hear how he was feeling, and that my heart was open to him if he wished.
He said thank you, was beyond the moon it seemed for the gift. But never responded to my feelings. Only kept saying how he was happy I consider him a friend. So I needed clarity. I asked for clarity and he said that since the rib he’s withdrawn. Too wracked with guilt to be there for me. He is the type that vanishes. Detaches. He’s not interested anymore in anything romantic. But he wants me in his life and wants to be my friend.
I was hurt because I really needed him to communicate that earlier, before I opened myself up further. I thought we were connecting but all along it was one sided. It hurt a lot and still hurts.
I asked for space to think and decided if I wanted to be friends. Truthfully, I had a hard time making the decision. I like him a whole bunch but he is very capable of hurting me, isn’t a safe emotional person, and his detachment is super triggering to me. I’ve been so triggered since that I’ve had many panic attacks and anxiety. I also just feel BAD. Like he was so into me at first then gradually stopped being present. It was mean and I felt like if he wants to be friends I need him to be aware of how he can hurt me.
Last night I saw he had unfollowed me on Instagram. So I check and he’s unfollowed me on everything. Blocked on Tik tok. And he even went as far as to unmatch me on tinder (we matched months ago in December ish and so for him to go out of his way to specifically not interact with me hurt so bad. I sobbed last night)
Im at a loss. He said he wanted to be friends and I seriously considered it given the chemistry, the conversations, and the effort I’ve already put in. I cherished his help while I healed. I’ve been helpless at work and so depressed since the injury. I wonder if I was too much. If I was too depressed or rocked by the broken rib for him. Like, did it make me not interesting anymore? Did it make him stop liking me? Did my pain make me unattractive and too much for him?
I don’t want to feel this way so I’m going no contact now. It feels forced… like he put me in this position with no agency. Clearly he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore or see me. He’s made it clear with his actions, even if his words are different.
I got a bill for $1,400 for the er visit. I need to know if I should ask him to compensate me at this point. He obviously doesn’t want any emotional or physical connection to me and I want to save myself from the pain of further rejection. But do I ask him for money since he caused the injury? What should I do?
I know it was an accident. I know he feels really bad. I know he’s said sorry countless times. And I have a huge part of my heart that says “forgive him, move on , ask for nothing”. But he really hurt me and affected my quality of life. I can’t afford $1,400 of hospital bills. What do I do?
Tl:dr my friend who I was initially dating broke my rib by accident. I felt really bad about it, but I accepted his apologies and help. He grew distant and stopped being present. Then I saw he blocked me on my social accounts. I am physically injured and emotionally hurt. I can’t afford the 1,400 hospital bill. I need help, what do I do?
submitted by _sarahgeddon to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 22:41 Waterbrick_Down In which a conversation was had and truths were shared

Context: Married 8 years, 4 kids, both in 30's, me HL, her LL/NL/LL4U? DB on and off since the beginning.
Upon the advice of u/sweet_other_yyyy I wrote an email to my wife talking about implementing a month of us intentionally showing two love languages at the same time in our expressions of affection (written notes as opposed to conversation tends to work better for us and keep conversations from spiraling). The hope being this would help each of us grow in our awareness of the affection we were showing each other even if we weren't feeling it. This kicked-off a couple hours conversation about why that may not really address the issues underlying our relationship.
While I shared I had a hard time recognizing when she was showing affection and feeling loved even when I mentally knew she did love me, she shared sort of the opposite problem. She had no problem recognizing when I was showing affection, she struggled more accepting it as honest affection. It turns out that honesty/emotional safety was a bigger issue in our relationship than I gave it credence. It wasn't really a big instance of her loss of trust in me, but more hundreds of little interactions that added up in her perspective. I was encouraged to go talk with a therapist and vent to them (as opposed to my spouse about my spouse, valid) and work out if there were ways to be more honest and open. The revelation shook me for a good 24hrs, the idea that a loving hug or compliment of mine might be seen as a lie hurt. I felt like I couldn't even discuss the issue further with her for fear she might think I was manipulating her. So now I'm scrounging the local counselor options and contemplating if it's better to find someone remote that aligns more with my preferences or find someone I can see in person. In retrospect it makes complete sense why our love life has always been tepid, my tendency to out talk anyone no matter what, led to her feeling less trusting and safe (she felt like a debate partner, not a valued lover), that built up her walls, which made true intimacy difficult where, while she could be accommodating, never felt any desire or any interest of her own in sex, to the point where it seems to have spilled over into hesitancy to initiate any expression of affection.
I'd be curious what things you all have found that helped build trust and safety in your relationships. With some self reflection and remembering past conversations I came up with a few things that I'm sure she feels contribute to our dynamic (she asked that I speak with a therapist first before she generated her own list of things that make trust/safety difficult).
submitted by Waterbrick_Down to DeadBedroomsOver30 [link] [comments]