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justin_herberts_hair
2021.02.10 15:12 bigman_jimmy justin_herberts_hair
In this subreddit, we discuss everything about being gay, & how to pass as a transwoman <3 (We have no affiliation with the NFL, Justin Herbert or the Chargers)
2019.02.23 08:12 redlineincense
An entire subreddit dedicated to the guy with the greatest hair in all of LA. Post pictures of your sightings and interactions with the legend himself
2018.01.06 01:38 Crisis_Redditor For the best of the worst LuLaRo patterns.
For the best of the worst LLR patterns and associated styling, and and occasionally the worst of the best. Now also accepting any LLR-related post. Don't forget the terrible hacks. LuLaRoe: Just like MacGyver, but sucky!™
2023.03.29 01:43 Frequent-Ad9493 Beta - Takeaways
It's been a bit since the beta, and I felt like it had been enough time that I had some takeaways to share from the experience.
First off, the game looks really nice. The graphics are clean and the game is visually a delight.
The sounds are good, too, but there is some clear work to be done here. Any time more than one player popped off on a large group of enemies, it was quickly clear the game couldn't handle processing all those sounds at once and resulted in some distorted static-y disaster that sounded like it could destroy my headset it it went on.
The story, such as we had access to, seemed okay though a bit formulaic and similar to Diablo 3. What's with this trend of young smart bookworm npc girl characters being 'secretly the key' in these games? I would've preferred to see them do something a bit more original. Likewise, while I find the character of Lilith as a villain to be interesting, the game is named Diablo and I would prefer to see Diablo, Lord of Terror, taking center stage as the antagonist. Hopefully this is something that will develop further along the story that we didn't get access to.
The map seemed alright. I'm not sure it's big enough for an open world game of this scope, but we'll see. It looked very well designed, but I would've much rather seen procedurally generated maps for areas over a fixed map. I mean, these games involve replaying a lot of areas and content, and having it procedurally generate a new layout and enemies kept going back to areas a bit new with some exploring to do. By the end of the beta and my 4th char, I was running on autopilot to various objectives and avoiding areas that would slow me down. Which isn't terrible, but I suspect this will harm replayability quite a bit.
Speaking of procedural generation, the dungeons were quite underwhelming. I did most of them, and they were all so similar that it started to get boring by the beta's end - which is a terrible sign. Every dungeon had similar layouts, many had the same mechanics for opening locked doors/barriers. Every dungeon was the same length: 2 floors and a boss room. Instead of sprawling dungeons with 1-5 levels of depth, these ones are all 2 levels deep with very linear maps and limited procedural variation.
Group events in the world were interesting, with some decidedly easier than others, but again without much variation. Just in one weekend I did enough of them that I repeatedly saw the same ones over a dozen times. I hope there's more variation in different regions, but...
The world boss fight was interesting, if a bit messy. The scale and scope of the fight was enjoyable, though, and hopefully other world bosses will be similarly interesting both visually and mechanically.
The classes are a interesting with decent variety to them and their unique play styles and builds, but the balancing seems a bit off with some builds clearly radically superior to others.
I didn't play as a rogue due to time constraints, so I can't speak to that class, but of the others, I found the druid to be disappointing. The abilities seemed a bit lackluster, and the class mechanics were a letdown. I had thought shapeshifting into werewolf or werebear sounded cool, and fighting as either creature would be exciting, but it isn't. The shapeshifting process is as underwhelming and lame as possible, with just a token animation and your character simply switches to werewolf of werebear skin for a few seconds and reverts back. What could've been a fun mechanic of changing into a werewolf or werebear and running around was reduced to little more than temporary visual flair for specific attacks. They could've at least made a cool transformation animation as your character grows hair, claws, fangs, and their body morphs... But instead you get a minor particle effect and temporary change to the character model. It's just a letdown that they didn't approach this more creatively.
I found the questing/mission system to be a bit lackluster. Very similar to WoW, but quests of 'go there, do the thing, come back' are only interesting so many times. I ran into so many of these, and it just wasn't very appealing, especially with the relatively useless rewards I got from most of them.
And then lastly: cellars. I don't get it. What's the point in making me load into a single room area just to find some generic enemies no more special than the random ones I find in the world? The loot wasn't any better, either. It literally felt like a pointless loading screen just to fight something I could've found and fought anywhere on the map. I suspect it's doing something extra under the hood, like mitigating server loads or shuffling players among world instances or something similar, because otherwise they serve no purpose other than to be a time waste.
And so overall, the game looks good and is fun to play, but I have some very serious concerns about long term replayability, and find some of the creative decisions disappointing. Time will tell if these things can be addressed and corrected before release, or if this is just another game franchise in its way to falling from grace.
And that's my $0.02.
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2023.03.29 01:43 gylisgod Help on Ships Progression
3 days into the game and I’m currently at company Lv15. I started as Ali in Ottoman and took the Trader route. I think I’m doing Okay as I’m already exploring the Dutch/Portugal area atm.
My question is what Ships should I be on right now? I have 4 atm Ali is on a Sloop the rest is on a La Pinta, Felucca and a Cutter. I just randomly built things and just aimed for those with bigger load capacities. I dunno if I’m doing things right.
My question is what should be the Ships Progression for a trader type (or maybe a general rule here). Should I just keep trying to use/build better ships. Im just following the main story and not sure how to invest or build on ships for the future.
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2023.03.29 01:43 theSawBit Funny Typo
2023.03.29 01:42 NaturalFit8049 32 [M4F] #Dallas, TX - Attractive, Hung, Fit. Looking for Wife, Homestead, Large Family
Hey there! Looking for a wife, large family and homestead/farm dynamic.
I work in finance currently, and travel alot, so if you can put up with that for a little bit, Ultimately I want nothing more than a wife, large family and some land to homestead and raise our family on. I am both ambitious and Entrepreneurial, so chances are we'd be doing more than just homesteading, but I want that place we can call home and the self reliance and security of being able to produce our own variety and quality of food. I grew up in a large family and love having siblings their my best freinds and I'd want that for our children as well.
A bit about me, I'm 5'10, 165 lbs, Fit, Hung, have Blond Hair and Deep Bue Eyes. I was very athletic growing up, I played every sport I could (mostly a runner, soccer, volleyball, but loved everything). I love the outdoors, Entrepreneurism, I'm a big fan of economic development, I believe strongly in building up the community and those around you and reaching out to those in need. I get along great with every religious belief, whats important to me is that you are honest and sincere and a seeker of truth, if your at least that, wherever you are in your beliefs or relationship with God, we'll get along fine.
Looking for an attractive women who wants a large family and a intimate lasting marriage, who beliefs in self sacrifice and building eachother up. I understand everyone is coming from different places and has different levels of experience and maturity and at different ages, that said I am looking for a mature women. So If your younger but mature for your age and just looking for somthing real, let's connect, I'd love to get to know you! :)
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2023.03.29 01:41 Future_Primary_6882 ADHD Symptoms but diagnosed with “Unspecified Disorder of Psychological Development”
I am debating on getting a second evaluation as the first neuropsych evaluation I received lead to an Unspecified Disorder of Psychological Development. I’m 22/F and my family doesn’t “believe” in mental health so I wasn’t tested as a kid, even though my mom had told me others recommended an evaluation for ADHD for me. I finally got an evaluation last year at 21 y/o (after failing several classes during online schooling) but ended up with that diagnosis, and haven’t gotten any treatment for it. I still struggle a lot with my symptoms (I’ll list them below) and am wondering if it would be beneficial to get a second opinion. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve had several emotional breakdowns due to the feelings that I am incompetent because there are so many areas I have been struggling in and have been heavily considering getting medicated (but Im also in grad school and don’t know if it’s just imposter syndrome and overall stress). I haven’t really interacted with the mental health care system though and don’t even know if medication is an option with the diagnosis that I currently have. Please help!
My list of symptoms: Emotional Dysregulation (to the point that it seems like BPD, but without the anxiety of losing people) Bad hygiene (not good at showering, brushing hair or teeth) Not eating consistently (won’t eat until i’m extremely hungry) Same problem with going to the bathroom Lack motivation Get depressed (self harm in the past, still get urges too, bang head when can’t process emotions/ extremely frustrated) Get hyper fixated on things Bad with socializing/making and keeping friends (I find it hard to stay connected with others, I either talk to someone all day every day or once a year) Impulsive (spend money, do or say things i regret later) Disorganized Get distracted My mind thinks faster than i can speak Mix up and jumble words Really hard to verbalize what i’m thinking Sometimes i’ll be talking and forget what it is that i’m about to say Can’t always understand things when people say them Procrastinate too much Perform under pressure (only with other people around me) ex: staying still in meetings, when i’m alone i’ll stand up and walk around, fidget tend to zone out, even when people talk to me get frustrated when someone won’t get to the point i’ll finish others sentences (only with people i know and am comfortable with) Bad time management -always late, forget to clock in Day dream a lot
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2023.03.29 01:41 Reeroo44 Was on the lowing end of the week 18 beat down
2023.03.29 01:41 nuttalltom Would I suit a buzz cut?
2023.03.29 01:41 secreterotica69 Date Night
It's Saturday. It's date night. To keep things a surprise I haven't told you what I've got planned for the evening, only telling you a rough idea of how to dress and to meet me at Brighton station at 6pm. I have even made a point to get an earlier train down purely to increase the tension. You get through the gates, and I can see walk turn into a run as you spot me. I can immediately smell your perfume. Then I notice your outfit. You are wearing a black bra under your bodysuit, and a short leather skirt; I'm wearing my black jeans and a white shirt.
I tell you that we have a table booked for 7pm, so we head to a bar for a drink beforehand. We sit down and order drinks. Your cleavage is on show through your bodysuit, already distracting me from our conversation a little. You notice me staring and we laugh about it, giving your boobs a subtle squeeze whilst I watch. Our drinks arrive as you're pestering me to try to tell you where the table is booked for. I tell you that I want to keep it a secret for you. We finish our drinks and get ready to leave for dinner. I help you with your coat, brushing my hand against your boob as you put it on.
You place your hands around my bicep as we walk over to the restaurant. I finally tell you that the table is booked at Burnt Orange. We arrive at the restaurant and are seated. We both order cocktails. We flirt as we wait, going as far as telling me how you expect we’ll be having a lot of fun tonight when we get home. You catch me staring at your cleavage again and playfully kick me under the table, starting a game of footsie. You decide to wind me up slightly more, kicking your shoe off and running your foot up the inside of my leg. We finish our food and I tell you the next part of our date, it's mini-golf. We get up to leave, again brushing your boobs as I help you with your coat.
We leave the restaurant and I kiss you on the cheek. You respond to this with a peck on the lips. My hands are now on the small of your back, pulling you close to me. We kiss for longer this time, smudging your lip gloss across my mouth. It's only a short walk to mini-golf, where we order more drinks, collect our putters and then start at the first hole. By this point in the night, I'm almost constantly holding one hand on your waist. I make a joke about getting a hole-in-one when we get home, giving your bum a gentle squeeze as you walk up to take your turn. You get the ball in straight away and jump up and down in celebration, making your boobs bounce with you. As you bend over in front of me to retrieve you ball, your skirt rides up and exposes your bum slightly. You then head to the toilet quickly, when you come back you tell me you have a surprise for me, but that I have to work out what it is.
We play the next hole, and once again you bend over, this time lifting your skirt up slightly yourself. As you bend over, I notice you have undone your bodysuit, with nothing underneath. I immediately get a semi. I ask if that is the surprise and you wink at me, telling me that I'm not allowed to touch it until you tell me that I can. We finish our game, and head to another bar for one last drink before catching the train home.
We sit down, this time next to each other. I place my hand on your thigh. You tell me how turned on you are, and I try to move my hand up your leg, but you stop me and tell me that I'm still not allowed to touch it yet. I grumble about how horny I am, but you tell me that I've got to wait. We walk back to the station and get on the train. As soon as it starts moving, you lean towards me and whisper into my ear, "Touch me.” You open your legs apart. I can feel where your juices have dripped down the insides of your leg. Trying our best to be as nonchalant as possible, I trace my fingers up the inside of your leg, around your lips, and onto your clit. You hold your breath in an attempt to suppress the moans. I slide my middle finger inside you, stroking the inside of your pussy. You grab my wrist in an attempt to stop me before you moan too loudly, but it only encourages me more. We arrive at our station and get a taxi home. We sit in the back, you’re sat on my hand. On the short journey, I run my fingers around your vagina with one hand, and pull your left hand to my lips for me to kiss with the other.
We get inside the house and race upstairs. You tell me that you have another surprise for me, but that I have to get in bed and wait for you. After a few minutes, you walk into the bedroom, wearing a new babydoll. I'm so turned on, I feel ready to explode before we've even started. I stand up, place my hand on the side of your face and pull you in for a kiss. With my other hand, I start playing with your pussy.
"You look amazing", I just about manage to mumble between kisses. You then take my erect cock and start to play with it, before pushing me back onto the bed, with you now on your hands and knees in front of me. You lean over and kiss down my body, kissing up my shaft and then the head. You start by wanking me off, before sucking. I hold your hair in a fist, pulling it slightly as you circle my head with your tongue. You hold my balls in your hand, squeezing them gently, before kissing them a little. As I start getting close to orgasm, you stop, telling me that it's my turn now. You lay down and open your legs apart. I start with kissing your stomach, and get lower and lower, until I reach your pussy. I rub your clit with my fingers, before licking it in small circles. I start fingering you at the same time, I can see your back beginning to arch and your body wriggle slightly. I then grab your vibrator and use it on you whilst still eating you out. I come up to kiss you, and slide my cock inside of you. I start thrusting slowly, playing with your boobs at the same time. I then suck on your boobs, causing you to moan, and ask me for more. I keep playing with your clit as I start pounding harder and faster. As I lean in to kiss you, you grab my head with both hands and hold me in, not letting the kiss end. I then roll you over and start to fuck you from behind. You grab your vibrator and place it on your clit, before using it on my balls and cock. I cum inside of you.
You roll back over, and I start kissing you again. We keep kissing, until you are begging to go again. I tell you that you have to be in charge this time, you agree.
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2023.03.29 01:40 NewtoThis679 AITA for mistaking a colleague for a student and asking if they are lost?
I (60s F) have been teaching as at a small liberal arts college for many years. I’ve found myself in a situation so my niece suggested I post here. Due to budget, professors from the same department all have an open desk format in our office.
One day, I walked into the office and saw someone who was sitting at a desk. They had a lunch out and were working on a laptop at the desk. They had hand tattoos which is common for many of our students and looked young, and were twirling their hair and doing repeated weird movements. If I had to guess this person looks like he is in his young 20s. So I assumed too young to be a full professor, maybe an adjunct or student?
I set my stuff down at my desk and then walked up to the person and asked “Are you lost? Is there a professor you are looking for and can help you find?”
They looked at me wide eyed and answered “I’m a professor here…”
I didn’t know what to say. I nodded and walked back to my desk. A couple weeks passed and I saw them again in the office today. And asked “What do you teach?” They answered what they teach and kept it at that. I tried to make small talk but they wished me a good day and packed up their stuff and left.
Turns out they have been a professor here for a few years with top scores, remarks from students, and top fellowship/scholarship/research. And apparently a lot of the faculty in the department have stories of how their students say how much they adore this professor and my colleague found it odd I never heard of them. Some colleagues feel like I messed up and some said it’s excusable because they look so young for a full professor. AITA? And if so, any advice on how to make amends would be appreciated.
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2023.03.29 01:40 PokingDogSnouts My "girlfriend" of one year has been in Turkey the past four months. Every single day of those four months, she has fed me the mistaken impression she was divorcing from an old marriage of years ago. It turns out she is staying.
From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
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2023.03.29 01:40 AllenHana426 An unexpected update
About 2 months ago, I made
a post about a lady who called to ask if she was on our DNR list. Spoiler: She was, but I just been told there was a lot of suspicious behavior and probable drug use. Since then, my boyfriend has started working in housekeeping here and today while he was talking to the housekeeping manager (HKM), her side of the story came up. If she (or honestly any housekeepers) sees this, please know I have the utmost respect for every single one of you. Without further ado, here is the 3rd hand update on this tale:
So, HKM goes into the room and notices a distinct haze and smell in the air. The guest claims that it's just her hairspray, but between the smell and the fact that the guest in question has very short, unstyled hair, it seems highly unlikely. As she's cleaning, she notices some really odd things: A layer of powder on almost every surface, dryer sheets about a half an inch thick shoved into the AC unit, and weed on the floor. I'm not sure what quantity or packaging the weed was in; it could have been trace amounts that fell from a joint or bowl, it could have been stacks upon stacks of bricks, it could have been something in between. For comedic value, I'd like to imagine it was some egregious amount, no matter how unlikely it is. HKM is doing her thing and gets over to the AC unit. She removes some of the dryer sheets and is met with a cloud of powder. HKM calls her boyfriend to alert him to the situation (and presumably that she'll need a ride home) and tells the manager on duty as well. Authorities are called, the powder is tested, and lo and behold, HKM has, in fact, met the guest's near friend Charlie. Thankfully, HKM was permitted to go home immediately and likely received medical attention
HKM is still here and still doing an amazing job, but thankfully, that guest will never step foot on our property again
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2023.03.29 01:40 Ok_Pie6735 I (16f) need advice about my mother Idk what I did wrong
My mom and I just go into a disagreement and it’s making me question if I’m going to be able to live with her for the next upcoming years of my life. This all started because she was telling me about her day and she mentioned a boy that’s gay and she talked about how loudly he spoke on the phone in the lunchroom and that he was airing dirty laundry in public and that’s messy , I started to defend him because somewhere in the mix she called him the ex slur( I’m bisexual) she knows and idk whenever she uses that word it makes me feel shitty but I started to defend him by saying that they were in his business and should’ve left him alone , she started to get angry and started to degrade me she called me a slut and I told her that I’m not a slut she said that I am what she says I am so ig I’m a slut now( I’ve literally never had sex) , she goes on to say this so why we don’t get along and that I can never shut and that I always want to debate and that I’m naive because I’m always defending people I told her that that’s not true and I always defend people because she’ll meet one bad person and group a whole bunch of people together just because she met one gay man that was sassy and loud? She said all gay men are like that and that they are messy then she took all the body lotion and body srub out the bathroom and told me that I can’t use it she then said that I’ll be just like my sisters ( my sisters and her fight a lot and stay away from her we also fight but I agree with everything she says so I won’t be involved and so she won’t be mad at me it’s very hard to be around her when she’s mad at you)she said that I shouldn’t talk to her anymore and to stay away from her all that because I was trying to defend him she also said wouldn’t pay to get my hair done and implied that I was a failure and played victim because I have to go to alternative school first two years of high-school I was depressed and tried to kms so yeah and this year I’ve been putting school on the back burner so I failed some classes my mental health has be soo good before this argument I knew in my heart wouldn’t survive if I kept shutting down and having depressive episodes tbh idc I don’t want anything from her bc she always does this she’ll say that she get me something or pay for something but take it back when she’s upset idk it’s just to much for me I keep just swallowing the things she says bc I promised myself I wouldn’t cry about it anymore bc it would always lead to some type of panic attack some worse than others also because she would come into my room while I was crying and tell me to stop crying bc it isn’t a big deal and that im being dramatic she also says I don’t take care of my dog and tbh that’s semi true but not really I tried my Best I think we should give him up because this is just another things she can hold over my head and i think it’ll be better for him , I overheard her telling my nana what happened and she told her complete bs it doesn’t matter if I try to go talk to my nana no matter what she says that she’ll stand by her daughter so she’ll never take mine or my sisters side so idrc what she thinks anymore , how can I move out being here kills me all my self love and confidence flies out the window when my mom talks about me I don’t think my mental health can take it , I’m ready to give up on our relationship she’s amazing on her good days but the bad days out number the good I’ll take any advice
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2023.03.29 01:39 feelinrealsnacky Help me, grad school experts!
Decision time.
After convincing myself I wouldn’t get into a program this year, I ended up with two options: a Clinical Mental Health Counseling program and a Marriage and Family Therapy program. Im interested in both approaches to therapy for different reasons. I’m so, so torn. Help me make the right decision, please!
Main factors:
- Commute. It’ll be a 45 minute drive to either school, but one program is a four-day evening class schedule and the other is a two-day entire day schedule. The first would likely allow me to hold a job more easily, though the commuting time would add up.
- Accreditation. Neither is currently accredited, but one is very likely to be by the time I graduate. The other likely not, but would be soon afterward.
- Interview vibes. I liked a lot of the people I interviewed alongside at one program, but I like the faculty a bit better (only by a hair) at the other.
There are other small things too, but these are the big ones. Thoughts on how to weigh these variables?
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2023.03.29 01:39 Ok_Examination8810 Ariel x Jasmine 🧜♀️🧞♀️
This takes place in a modern-day au
Ariel had been living on the coast for about 3 years. She liked it there because her house was right on the beach, so she could surf nearly everyday. One day, around one o'clock, she was just coming in from the surf when she looked up and saw a beautiful woman doing yoga on the balcony of the house right next to hers. Her skin was smooth with a caramel complexion; her raven hair was drawn up into a ponytail, revealing her big golden earrings. She wore skin-tight teal yoga pants with a matching sports bra, which left her stomach bare.
The woman then noticed her and said hello. Ariel blushed with embarrassment, this woman probably knew she was staring at her. But she let her know it didn't bother her and actually invited her up to her house for sweet tea. So Ariel washed the sand off her feet, climbed up the stairs onto the balcony, and into the woman's living room. Once inside, the woman introduced herself as Jasmine, and explained that she moved to the coast 2 months ago and was working as a belly dancer at the new Arabian themed nightclub Genie's. "I'll bet you're really good at it" said Ariel; all the while stealing glances at Jasmine's exposed belly. "If you don't mind my asking, could you show me some your moves?" She asked in a way that she hoped came off as casual. Jasmine however seemed happy to oblige, and got up from the couch that they were both sitting on.
There was no music playing, but it didn't matter. Ariel was transfixed on Jasmine's beautiful brown torso. She did all the best moves: hip-lifts, undulations, belly-pops, shimmying, belly flutters, both vertical and horizontal figure 8's, all performed perfectly as if she was Shakira herself. Ariel was getting hot (in more ways than one) watching Jasmine dance, so she took an ice cube from the pitcher and began to rub it against her neck. What she didn't know was that the entire time Jasmine was stealing glances at her belly too, since she was only wearing a purple bikini top and green swimming trunks. And when she saw the water from the melted ice going down into her cleavage, she bit her lip suggestively.
Regardless, she finished her dance, and sat back down next to Ariel. "Did you like watching my belly dance?" She asked nonchalantly. "Very much so" Ariel answered, "you have a very sexy belly" she added barely concealing how horny she was. Jasmine then confessed, saying that she found Ariel's belly sexy too. This gave Ariel an idea, and she immediately took Jasmine's yoga mat from the balcony and laid it out in front of coffee table. She then poured some sweet tea onto her slim belly. Jasmine instantly picked up on what Ariel wanted her to do, and began to lick the sweat tea off her milky skin.
Ariel arched her back and began to moan with satisfaction. Jasmine continued to kiss and lick Ariel's navel and belly long after all sweat tea was gone. So Jasmine carefully poured some more right into Ariel's belly button and sucked the tea right out of it. After 30 minutes, Ariel decided it was her turn to return the favor. So she quickly pinned Jasmine down to the mat, gave her quick kiss on the mouth, and started making out with her beautifully brown midsection.
Both woman were in total ecstasy, especially Jasmine; she had been crushing on this redheaded surfer girl every since she moved to this seaside town. And now this redhead was fulfilling her greatest fantasy. This continued for another 30 minutes until Jasmine climaxed.
For that day forward, the two women have been dating. Twice a week they would meet at Esther's house and play with each others navels.
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2023.03.29 01:39 Ralfop Easy-To-Wear Stylish Hair Scrunchies With our Messy Bun, rock that beautiful hair updo confidently again while enjoying the attention its getting! FEATURES: Easy To Apply: You can save extra time by attaching our hair scrunchies in just a few seconds. Without having to redo your hair updo constantly
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2023.03.29 01:38 P1k4chu2102 [yatoracat]
2023.03.29 01:37 ZhangtheGreat Of all the women that Brock has hit on, who likes him back the strongest?
I likely missed a few, since I haven’t seen every Brock episode (do bring up the ones I missed), but I can recall only four women who showed any form of affection toward Brock: Suzie, Temacu, Wilhomena, and Pike Queen Lucy.
Of the four…
- Temacu is likely out, since she’s just the female Brock who smothers every attractive guy.
- Suzie was trustful enough in Brock to let him care for Vulpix and stay in touch with him via email. She may also be the best overall character given her skills and wisdom, but when she decided to open a salon with Zane, that left Brock in the dust.
- Wilhomena expressed interest in meeting Brock again. I’ll have to rewatch the episode, since it’s one that I don’t remember much from.
- Lucy never said anything IIRC; she just blushed at Brock’s constant swooning, but it’s clear she’d fallen for his non-existent eyes.
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2023.03.29 01:36 Moldova_history_861 I will shave my head in my birthday!!!
Next month is my birthday (April 27), so I will have a special birthday gift for myself, the gift is “shave my head off” !!! Why? Because my friends, my parents, my younger brother and my relatives think I am beautiful in short hair, and I think maybe I can change other hairstyles, but I don’t know which hairstyle fit me? My friends think maybe can be shorter, like shaved head. And I think sounds great! Girls with bald heads can be beautiful, too and maybe it can be a good present for myself in my birthday. But I couldn’t dare to do it. How do you think? Is it a good present for myself? Sorry I am bad in Chinese, I am a Taiwanese.
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2023.03.29 01:35 willneverdiebc13 22 [F4M] KS/USA - What's your favorite Zelda game?
Ayo ayo my name is Hope, I'm 22, and I'm replaying Skyward Sword because I never beat the final boss last time. I only wish Twilight Princess was on switch because that's my favorite and I never got to finish it
Anyway here's some shit about me:
*My birthday is next month
*If you wanna see what I look like, feel free to ask or check my bio!
*I'm only looking for people 23-28 years old and in the US
*I have one brain cell and it bounces around my skull like a Windows 7 screensaver
*I have two cats who, though I love them to death, have contributed greatly to the lack of brain cells in my head. I'm a law-abiding citizen so if the cat tax needs to be paid, I'm more than happy to pay it
*Show me you read this by letting me see who I'm talking to!
*I'm a pretty big anime nerd. I even have an FMAB tattoo
*Speaking of tattoos, I have 9
*I'm a creative person, but unfortunately a Jack of all trades which means I just barely don't suck at everything I do
*If music could get blackout drunk and puke everywhere that would be my spotify playlist
*Testimonials:
"You're not an object to be reviewed, you're a beautiful soul. I'm not gonna treat you like an object or a thing" -my mom, who refuses to go along with the joke
"10/10 product, hair changes colors which is badass and comes with friendly hardwiring" -M
"Solid friend, not as mentally ill as you'd expect for someone who's like emo/alt" -C
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2023.03.29 01:35 PokingDogSnouts My "girlfriend" of one year has been in Turkey the past four months. Every single day of those four months, she has fed me the mistaken impression she was divorcing from an old marriage of years ago. It turns out she is staying.
From the month we started phone calls (February, 2022), I was assured that she never felt a drop of love for this person. He had manipulated her out of her first abusive marriage—guiding her through the divorce process. Her sole source of support through a very trying time, he also would completely disappear on her when she didn't do what he asked of her. When her first divorce was finalized, he convinced her to hop onto a plane to Turkey, and marry him immediately. The faulty reasoning he gave for such a wild and ill-advised idea (that her therapist strongly urged against, saying she needed time to heal and process the dissolution of the first marriage) was that if she were to live with him, she needed to undergo a marriage ceremony to make it permissible within their faith (Islam).
When I first heard this, I already thought that this was one of the worst decisions a person could ever make for themselves. A woman of few friends, she was going to isolate herself further in a country she did not know the language to, with a man whom she'd only met once. Making another marriage commitment, fresh out of the first failed one.
Another saddening aspect to her history is that this isn't the first time. The first husband had also, years and years prior, convinced her to move to Turkey. They came back, and she processed a green card application for this man. The same thing she's now doing for this guy.
But the second marriage also didn't work out. She was there for almost two years, and was having panic attacks all of the time. Fainting in the bathroom. Stuck there due to COVID lockdowns. She and the guy were wholly incompatible. She'd mentioned how she couldn't even be intimate with him because of how tensed up he made her feel. She'd told me she wasn't attracted to him, and that she cried at the ceremony, knowing she was making a huge mistake, but was so numb and expected to go through with it, at this point, that she did. She told me things in this vein, over and over again.
How utterly numb she was over there, unfeeling, disassociating and just doing what people expected of her. Living as a scraped-out shell of herself.
She returned home to New York in July of 2021. She'd still kept up the pretense with him, of being in a stable marriage, and continued to process his green card application, but knew even by December (according to what she told me) that she did not want to return and that she could not fathom living her life with this person.
We met in January of 2022. Not in-person, yet, but right here on Reddit. Innocuous enough, at first. I had been recovering from long-COVID, with no one in my life believing me. I was searching for both love and friends to see me through the most difficult time in my entire life. She replied to one of the friendship posts, and we bonded through a shared love for music, older music in particular.
She zeroed in on me from the start, telling me later on about how she'd sifted through all my social media and talked with her cousin, her best friend, about the kind of person I was.
The conversation moved to Discord. I was streaming a lot, then. One of the foreign friends I was talking to, said I had a voice that would go perfectly with book-reading, and that I should stream myself doing it. During a lonely end to the December of 2021, I decided to give it a try. I even did one on New Year's Eve, hoping to unite all of the lost souls, who, like me, didn't have any gatherings to attend.
In February, the streams were still going strong, and she seemed to enter every single one of them—constantly there for me, constantly wanting to not only spend her time with me, but to get my attention. And there's one incident that finally made me realize just how much she felt for me.
One late night, I told her politely that I'd be playing Minecraft with somebody else (we had been messaging daily by this point in early February). She had been engaging extensively, sending me a lot of caring advice on dealing with my symptoms, but I needed to rest myself from all the texting.
It was only two hours, but it clearly hurt her. I didn't hear from her until late the next day, when she spilled out her feelings in a message she deleted only moments later. I only caught the notification preview, but the gist of it seemed to be that she felt "disposed of", discarded, and she had cried over it.
This was a shock for me. I seriously didn't think it was that grave an error to commit (it wasn't), but nevertheless, I empathized. I, too, know fully well what it's like to be completely discarded (also see: the end of this story). I certainly didn't want someone coming out of interactions with me, feeling that way. And I resolved within myself not to hurt this person again. I was beginning to develop an affinity towards her—spurred by the obvious interest, and her qualities of both acute sensitivity, and a willingness to be open and vulnerable, something I deeply value. I wanted to become her source of comfort, too. To help her feel safe in a world that can often be cruel and insensitive. That is the decision I made for myself on that day.
Later in the month, nightly phone calls began. The first time we'd spoken through voice. Well into the nights, we talked for hours, a clear close bond beginning to form. She eventually confided that she was developing feelings for me; I said the same. One night, she brought up an obligation in Turkey, unfinished personal business that she would have to take care of, soon. I froze. It sounded like another person was involved with her. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, I told her I was going to go. She was talking around it and I assumed the worst. She told me everything. And she insisted that she had no love for this person, never desired to be with him again, and that the "business" she had there was in divorcing him.
Her family's faith complicated things. Even if she was only technically legally married (i.e., not living with him for almost a year, by that point), they would not allow her to be in a relationship while the marriage contract was still in effect. She was attempting to hide even her communications with me. This is a 32-year-old woman, by the way. Her parents had always been overbearing and controlling. She was not to talk to strangers on the internet. I witnessed her being treated like a minor half her age, numerous times over the course of our relationship.
She clearly wanted to be with me, but this got in the way of it, and a few times, we parted ways. But our link just couldn't be snuffed out—we always found a way back towards one another. In mid-March, we decided, finally, to be together. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we would remain in contact, and we would acknowledge our feelings, which we previously tried to put aside (which obviously cannot work; you cannot deny feelings like these).
I did have to push for it, by then. She was clear her parents wouldn't approve. But at 32 years of age, and with a divorce that wasn't even able to be set in motion—if it was a definite eventuality, wouldn't it make sense to still live your life in the meantime? Divorces can take years to go through. Grown adults don't put possible new relationships off because of a technicality. The marriage was already over in their hearts—if it ever even existed within, and not solely on paper.
I just didn't want this to slip away. She made her interest in me very obvious, and had persisted enough for me to return her feelings. She continued to feed that previously empty part of me—the part of me that never, not once in my life, had been shown real love, by any woman. I didn't want to lose her. I have been used, and discarded multiple times, by people I'd barely ever met, but who'd kept me in a misleading cycle of hope and despair. This felt real, for once. This felt like it could be something.
The phone calls evolved into something deeper, at her instigation. She'd cutely suggested falling asleep together over Discord in late March: whispering goodnights, giggling when we were both unable to fall asleep, and greeting each other first thing in the morning. It felt like a dream, to me. I had never felt so loved, cherished, valued. She went far out of her way for me, and I was willing to do the same for her. We continued this nightly ritual throughout the entirety of our relationship—breaking it, occasionally—but for the first few months afterwards, there wasn't a night we didn't spend together.
The "I love yous" came next. I was adamant that, as much as I wanted to say it, I wanted to hold off, to tell it to her in person. She couldn't control herself, and gently said it to me one night as we were falling asleep. Our bond felt cemented. Talk of meeting increased.
If you'll notice, a pattern emerges here, where every subsequent higher step in this relationship was initiated by her. The clinginess, the admission of feelings, the phone call, the nightly ritual of sleeping on the phone, and now the "I love yous". I was overjoyed to be on the receiving end of each of these, and yes, I did fight for the relationship to stick in the first place, but in hindsight, it seems ever more crueler that she could've done all this, only to completely ditch me at the end.
We were across state lines. I was in New Jersey; she in New York. I knew of a bus that could take me to Manhattan. From there, it was just a hop, skip away to where she resided. She, once again, took the real initiative. We had originally planned to meet in the summer, perhaps at a café or library or amusement park. But she was telling me she only had to take one subway to end up at the bus I was speaking of. Early April, completely out of the blue, she sent a photo of that subway, asking if she should do it? That all I had to do was answer in the affirmative, and she would. I was in the shower, but I actually had this hunch that that was going to happen. For no reason whatsoever. There was no indication. I hadn't seen the message. I just somehow knew, and I was shivering in the shower at the thought of meeting her that day. Of course, it was too late by the time I was able to reply. However, we still met, the very next week.
We met at a large and lovely park, the only escape to nature you can truly get to in my town. She looked so lonely, staring at the stream, her backpack on. I came right up to her, and the sweetest meeting of my life ensued. We both somehow seemed cut from the same cloth. Both tall, but lanky—slimmer than most examples of our respective genders. Darker hair and eyes. And kind of a sensitive, hesitant disposition. The result of too much overexposure to the deafening hostility that can strike in this world, from all directions. We walked awhile, sat on a bench and somehow managed to hold hands to quell the shyness and nervousness that we both seemed to share (though her to a much greater extent). It was surreal. The day was a dream, but a dream that extended into most of the year.
We met again only two days later. She wasted no time in instantly coming back. We baked brownies together, and, probably too much information, but we became intimate from this day on. Once again, the bond went to another level. We were both hooked on each other: emotionally, and physically.
I don't need to go into the many months we spent together. There's simply too much to say. I met her in the city, and witnessed her father scream at her on the phone, bringing her to tears for daring to spend time in Manhattan with me. According to her, the divorce was now out in the open, and all parties involved knew of its inevitability. The husband wouldn't talk to her, so nothing could even happen. He told her to just worry about herself. But the parents weren't having it.
We met every single week up to November at least twice, barring one or two where she had a surgery take place in late April. We roamed down so many paths in my own town, and all over Manhattan. Experienced more restaurants than I'm sure I have in the past five years. Went to Coldplay at MetLife Stadium; it was also the first night she stayed over, again to her parents' ire. She would continue to stay each weekend. They were the loveliest times of my life. But her parents gave her hell every time she returned. They treated her like a complete outcast, giving her the silent treatment for days on end. A grown adult capable of making her own decisions for herself, being pressured by childish, immature parents who constantly filled her head with horrible advice about trusting nobody, keeping no friends, and adhering to a religion that I believe is an extremely harmful force in this world.
I had never felt so close to somebody before. She was as seemingly gentle as they come, and we were both extremely generous and caring to one another. Which is why the next part of this absolutely shocked me and sent my heart into a downward spiral I still struggle to soothe.
This past November, she finally left back to Turkey, the place she was formerly so miserable in, supposedly to take care of the divorce. She assured me all the processes were in motion—the search for a lawyer, setting of a court date, and the eventual date itself, somewhere in February. These were all lies. I don't know exactly what happened, but sometime in January she made the decision to remain faithful to both her religion and the marriage, yet she continued to lie to me daily about what was going on. One point of contention that came up again and again between us was the lack of phone calls from her, all of a sudden. The first few weeks, I understood it was because her dad was there, but in the months succeeding that, the situation hardly changed. I'd get hung up on out of nowhere, I'd get excuses such as depression—she even wrote a post on an alternate Reddit account asking for advice: how to assure a loving boyfriend that she's too miserable to call due to the circumstances surrounding divorce, and that it's no cause for insecurity. All while knowing that she was not divorcing... I was misled so cruelly. The web of lies is just immense, and I can't believe she was even capable of all this.
She argued with me over asking for more calls, pleading for me to understand her, and assuring me that she wasn't hiding anything. She would even randomly blurt out harsh things like...that she didn't trust me, or anyone...or that love can't always be there for you. She was slicing up my feelings and toying with my heart. Sensations that were all too familiar, from the wounds of my past. This wasn't the care a loved one is supposed to show, but out of trying my best to understand her side of it, I decided to stop asking for calls.
We went all of February and half of March without a single phone call. Not even on Valentine's Day. But I was only bottling up just how much it hurt to be so neglected. Surely two people in love both crave to hear each other's voices, more than this? She once told me my voice was like listening to the sound of the ocean through a conch shell. Comforting, yet fleeting. What was going on?
Another argument ensued, and this one led to a break-up. I realized through talking with a friend who asked about how we were doing, that I was immensely down about our only communication happening through a few daily texts. I wasn't given many updates on what was going on. She claimed in December that she was staying with the husband's family at night because he refused to fix the broken heating in her apartment. She was now staying there full-time. I tried to just trust her about it, but it looks like that was a mistake. She was isolated from any voice of sense, and only had pressure and religious guilt-tripping paving the path for her. I still don't believe she has any love for him whatsoever. He is a clumsy manipulator, who practically bragged to me on Reddit about luring her away from her first husband, while attempting to condescend to me about intelligence. Her few current Facebook posts all seem curated to highlight just how miserable she was over there the first time around, and that the same now continues. Her life is not her own, and I'm reminded of all the times she told me she was in chains. The one positive-appearing post was put up during our many days of vivid and lively exploration.
She always seemed easy to influence...often by people who never truly cared for her. I can't believe she would be duped by someone so obviously conniving that he convinced her to marry straight out of a divorce in the first place. She probably needs real help and people to look out for her...but her parents will not take up that mantle. She is, however, very conditioned to seek their advice, and treat their words almost as a decree from god, itself.
We broke up a little over a week ago. She still did not reveal the truth to me; she only acted as if I was asking for too much, all because I wanted some phone calls. She even argued, all this time, knowing she was deceiving me. And she put her all into her arguments, trying to portray herself as a decent person who held no blame. This is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. And just like always, I'm expected to just accept it, with little explanation or apology given. She claims she wanted to live a sinless existence within her faith, but what she did so blatantly to me will never make her sinless. I poured my heart for the first time into somebody who I thought wanted to be with me for life.
I don't even know what to think, anymore. She did claim her feelings for me were all true. In a final phone call that the husband initiated to tell me off, she said outright she'd be able to get over him, if he passed away. But that the same wouldn't happen with me. She also claimed she would never be able to truly be her own self with me, but that's not true. Happiness reveals your true identity; following your heart. But going against your inner nature, to please the whims of controlling people... that can never lead to happiness or truth, and is only ever going to slowly kill a person. I just wish I could've helped her. She never deserved such toxic people around her, but as long as she keeps choosing them, she'll have to live with the consequences of it.
TL;DR: We're both 32. She escaped a miserable marriage in a foreign country (Turkey) and we met half a year afterwards, falling completely in love with each other, speeding past each relationship step until we were in each other's arms and seeing one another every single week, for eight months. I was under the impression this whole time that she'd be going to Turkey to divorce, yet four patient months after she left... I find out she's staying, for religious reasons, and possibly the pressure of her parents. I have never felt so betrayed and used, by someone I thought truly loved me, for the first time. There is still reason to believe she isn't doing this entirely of her own choice, because I get the strong sense she has no love for this man—who is a conniving manipulator who acts like he has morality on his side all because of religion—and her own parents have shown themselves to be suffocatingly overbearing and controlling.
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PokingDogSnouts to
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2023.03.29 01:34 onlybrittanyalice My bangs are banging today :) i am loving the little blonde highlights in my red hair
2023.03.29 01:34 Anxiety_Cookie Flair up when stressed? What tests to run?
I'm (F27) gonna ask my (new) doctor about all this tomorrow, but I would like to hear your feedback as well.
I've suspected that I had hypothyroidism (or similar) or an autoimmune desase for years now, but since my TSH levels looked alright and burnout is also true. The doctors I've met has not been interested in looking into it further other than testing me 1-2 times/year. I do experience pressure over my thyroid occasionally.
It usually goes like this.. I'm stressing out about something, I then feel sick and absolutely exhausted, after a while I feel a pressure on m throat where my thyroid is and something feels swollen. I make a doctor's appointment which takes ~2 weeks. The pressure goes away after 1-3 days so I don't have the chance to really "show" them. It's worth mentioning that I have most discomfort in the evening, and less in the mornings (perhaps due to stress/muscle tightness?)
However, today, something showed up on my blood samples.. Although it's very minor.
TSH: 5.5 mg, While T4 and T3 are normal.
I read that you can see if you have any antibodies attacking your thyroid by running TPO-ab tests, which I will talk to her about. But it makes me wonder, are there any other tests they should be running? I've not met this doctor before so I'm unsure if they're gonna take my issues seriously or not.
My main issues are fatigue, anxiety, brain fog, fever like symptoms when stressed/overwhelmed, hard to loose weight (but for some reason lost a whole lot without trying after my burnout, now hard to loose it again), IBS (but been constipated for about a month), mild hair thinning, and easily getting getting overheated.
To describe my fatigue, I have a standing desk at home that I can't use since it feels like I'm having a fever attack after a couple of minutes and I need to sit down due to dizziness, headache, like I'm about to throw up, and overheating. Light walking is fine but standing still is rough for me for some reason(??) That one is a mystery but I do get the same symptoms when I'm stressed/overwhelmed. It's like my body is very allergic to stress.
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Anxiety_Cookie to
Hypothyroidism [link] [comments]