Bad guys movie showtimes near me

Hi everyone,
I'm a 28-year-old guy from the UK who's looking to make some new friends. I love gaming, especially RPGs and co-op, and I also have a soft spot for horror movies - the scarier, the better!(although it's much more enjoyable when not watching alone!) In my free time, I enjoy cycling around the countrysideand beach, and spending time with my pets, who are my best friends in the whole world.
I'm a pretty laid-back person and enjoy chatting about all sorts of things, from deep and meaningful conversations to just shooting the breeze. I'm open-minded and non-judgmental, so don't worry if you're into something I haven't mentioned - I'm always up for learning about new things.
If you're interested in making a new friend who shares some of my interests, feel free to drop me a message. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!
Disclaimer: i'm pretty bad at writing about myself, so I did use AI to help me write the post, chatgpt is a GOD

So my ex and I broke up 2 months ago because her ex friends with benefits started sending her sexual messages she didnt do or reply anything wrong but she didn’t react,stop him or at least roast him and my problem was that there was no reaction So i sent him a message and she wanted me to delete it and shell send instead i was like okay…She did but I was still mad because her sending a message was only to delete mine and shes claiming that it was for me although i was begging her to react (before my message to him) and she was refusing And after all that she blamed me for my madness and reaction and said im harassing and abusive and CONTROLLING BOYFRIEND although I wasn’t calling her words or anything (she was) i was only speaking in a mad way Then she broke up because “im controlling” and blamed me again for what happened and everything ive done post break up like hanging out with girls, selling a gift she knew it was gonna be for her And at the end she was saying im a bad person although i was the sweetest guy with her because i loved her so much… blocked me everywhere but still stalking me… My friend is telling me shes a covert narcissists especially shes an introvert, how accurate is that?

When we think of economics, we think of markets, and when we think of markets, we think of private incentives moving towards a socially optimal allocation of resources through the invisible hand. Each firm sets its marginal cost equal to its marginal revenue and each consumer pays the price up to their marginal utility. We see in a Hayekian sense how the price system delivers information through no means of its own. Risk and return are adjusted towards equilibrium, and in viewing through this lens, we know how work in finance and asset pricing from Chicago to Yale can tie into the heart and roots of economics built by Smith and Hayek. It is through this lens we see risk and its compensatory returns
The Fama-French three-factor model is an economic model that arose from the need for an empirical asset pricing model to test the efficient-market hypothesis (EMH) in the 1990s. This model was proposed by University of Chicago professors Eugene Fama and Kenneth French in response to empirical evidence against the Capital Asset Pricing Model (CAPM), which initially worked as strong evidence in favor of EMH. However, the empirical evidence of volatility in stock prices and dividends inconsistent with market efficiency led to the development of the Fama-French model
​
The original Fama-French three-factor Model
Originally meant to be a counter to Robert Shiller's 1980 paper on discount rates, the three-factor model served as a response to plenty of empirical evidence against the CAPM.
In asset pricing, there is a famous theory developed by Fama known as the efficient-market hypothesis. There are three forms of EMH: the first one, the weak form, states that past prices do not predict future returns, i.e. they are independent of one another, the second one, the semi-strong form, says that asset prices reflect all publically available information, disincentivizing the public from active investing to the profit of private insiders.
The second form is the one most strongly supported by empirical evidence through event studies
The third form, the strong form, states that asset prices reflect all information. private or public, making inside trading unprofitable.
To test EMH, one needs an empirical asset pricing model, thus we have the Joint hypothesis problem.
The CAPM was developed in the 1960s to help explain stock-market returns; initially, it worked as strong evidence in favor of EMH
Only in the 1980s did empirical evidence against CAPM and thus EMH was born. A group of behavioral and Keynesian economists, including the great Robert J. Shiller, came in with evidence of volatility ins stock prices and dividends inconsistent with market efficiency. CAPM could now explain only 60% of stock-market returns.
Fama, Cochrane, et al. found it hard to reconcile with this until the early 1990s. Noticing various stock market risks and using factor-analysis Fama, et al. found three additional risk factors to explain over 90% of stock-market returns. This would lay the foundation for groundbreaking academic work in Fama and French (1992).
The Fama-French model is an econometric model in asset pricing used to predict stock-market returns based on three risk factors, with two additional risk factors added later. It considers the outperformance of small versus big companies, the outperformance of high book/market versus low book/market companies, and the market excess return as necessary to counter the additional risk. The model helped explain over 90% of stock-market returns, and the research behind it earned Eugene Fama, Robert Shiller, and Lars Hansen the Nobel Prize in economics in 2013.
While the Fama-French model was a major advancement in finance, it has also faced criticisms. Some argue that it relies too heavily on past performance data and ignores other relevant information
Shiller and Hansen's work on behavioral finance and econometric tests of asset pricing also contributed to the development of the Fama-French model. Shiller's research showed that investors do not always behave rationally and that their decisions are often influenced by emotions and behavioral biases. This finding challenged the traditional assumption of rational investors in economic models.
Hansen, on the other hand, developed statistical tools to test asset pricing models, which provided a more rigorous and accurate way to evaluate theories in finance.
With this new wave of research on factor premiums and the beginnings of financial economist Cliff Asness, behavioral finance proponents would need to come up with research against EMH that wouldn't show up nearly a decade later in the early 2000s
You'd think the Nobel committee would be against giving the prize to research opponents. Instead in 2013, the Nobel Prize in economics was awarded to Eugen Fama, Robert Shiller, and Lars Hansen, for their empirical work on market efficiency, behavioral finance, and econometric tests of asset pricing respectively.
​
The winners of the 2013 Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences
Their research would serve as the background for Fama and French (2015), where two additional risk factors were added.
​
The updated Fama-French model
Without this credibility revolution in finance, the capital markets would be less information efficient and result in less income per capita for not just the big guys and Wall St., but for the average Joe too. Through no altruistic motive of their own, the profit motive moves millions of traders towards optimal equilibria allowing low trading costs, speed of information, no Pareto improvements, and the free-riding of stock-market returns to savvy investors like you and me.

I would like to point out some Pros and cons to all off these ideas. (I was that guy in the past joking sailing would make for a fantastic new skill), (I was also one of those people who didn't like summoning), (I also stopped playing for sometime when PVP was in a funny place.. This was after they had the "PVP MODES" where the guards actually served a purpose for wandering.)
​
Taming (this was my original post)
My thoughts on this one are, a bit of an ah-ha moment, so I am proposing a thought it's not what I "want" to happen.
New skill Taming, now before you start writing how much you hate me hold on a moment I did start diving into this new idea, which my mind just happened to help me with. adding to it if you will, only make the idea stronger.
The ability to have any "NPC" take this as Frank as you'd like.
Example giving nieve a Bandos plate to have them follow you around. ( Stuck In their external loop of following u, because they in this case think you, will give them another one. )
Pros are the item will inflate in price this can generate an item sink.
Cons the item will not continue to be sunk as it would be one time achievable as a award for reaching certain levels.
Also could argue that's not a con.
As for basic leveling take an imp for instance, using "lore" god forbid I use this.
so I'll just say the drop tables... Find what item is dropped quite often and use this as the materials to also increase the demand of "Slaying monsters."
In the case of this monster my idea would be they charish beads so you would hoax them into taking the bead and they will follow you for a set time.
Set the time short for lower levels and longer for higher levels and that can be determined by the incentive given and gradually decreases over time ( this could be the taming part people would be interested in. )
I don't want to specualate to far. To help creativity tho, this skill would give the player a small advantage to help assist In the creation of being able to really change the way people think of the other skills.
Idea: sticking with the imps, have it so the imp following you gives you a "item find" ability. This would decrease drop table rates no lower then .01 percent is a sizable difference. Also the imp would have a time following till he gets bored and leaves. This would not have the same implement as a tamed NPC that's permanent solidifing the fact the they would denote you level visually but have stratigic buffs to counter the new equipment with is very overpowered.
To end this I also want to add making some of these NPCs wearable for cosmetic people as I know this would also drive the price of the dropped items to try and tame the NPC they want ( this idea is more satire then anything )
Idea: to tame a man or lady you give them coins until a successful lure then they follow you but for a short time or "in the area" asking for more money repeatedly and allowing you to give the one following you money but not giving experience.
​
After Watching the Pitch
​
​
Taming, The ability to catch "osrsmons" and level them. only, these monsters can hit other "Trainers" in PvP combat? This was not made clear but they did say "Don't worry - with this in mind, we plan to be very cautious with any changes that might effect combat"
Also in the pitch they spoke out that some of these pets are only going to be for Clout?
Another thing to consider is server performance as not everyone is walking around with a "pet" at the very moment. (not discussing the spooned people or very talented only the average player base) its already rare to have something follow you permanently. So what does really getting to know your pet mean?
Also how many tamed mobs can you have and would it be another tab that has a call ability, or do you have to go to your house to "Retrieve"?
Does the tamed pet have its own house in the "new areas"? (maybe this is how you can keep the homes for the Main reward for the lvls)
so to keep the value of the already content, this need to be addressed for sure. (one can also argue the fact that the "Pets" at least from skills aren't acquirable threw "taming/Attacking", well.... you are Technically attacking the trees, fish Etc. in some strange sublime way.)
This does however, create a issue for having a "tamed" -mob?
In my opinion, this shouldn't be a permanent, as they would have their own Traits. I am assuming but, if you have a "bird" maybe the trait is the creature can grab items for you, kind of like how tele grab works, to keep this exciting a suggestion could be the bird has a set amount of Hp and can be attacked. (Of course this is if they go with the ability to use tamed pets in PvP combat. I also feel this should only be able to happen in Multi combat areas, and the "tamed creature" Should be "Trained?" or take the level you are upon entering combat areas.)
To deal with this power creep in multi combat areas you and your "tamed creature" should take damage threw the same hp as we see in the mini map. (maybe with a split health allowing the defense oriented "tamed creature" to act like "Over eating", this would need to be balanced but, may present more options in the already broken power creep with the "right items", another feature could be stuns created much like a snare, or taunts that help pull the oppositions focus to the "tamed creature".)
From what everyone knows now though.
Pro: Ability to fly or ride mounts? (Like a teleport?)
Pro: Your companion could assist you in moving on to other content. (This could help with diversity in locations)
Pro: Actually benefits Mental health (Creating the caring response, and allowing for engaged learning)
Pro: Your companion might teach you a new trick (Fastest paths - Faster training methods - Dangerous activity stimulating)
Pro: "you can get that pet you always wanted."
Vague Pro: You will have a Pking partner always that also has its own RNG and Traits? (like making a "pure"?)
Pro: can limit the factor of necessary items. (EG. tele grab, snares)
Pro: more factors for aggressive players. (Rushers would now have to take into account for a taunting creature, which instead of just instantly dying or needing to always hover over "tabs" the taunting creature could aggress the attack taking a RNG damage Output. EG. upon aggressing the opponent takes the first tick no matter what this could include two attacks with the right timing, then your RNG factors whether your creature takes damage or you do.)
con: can create a stigma. (that is if you lose this create to neglect etc.)
con: performance to servers
con: can be abused, this will also create a new "skill threshold"
con: creates content that will become stale. (unless the outcome is detrimental to account, like raising a combat lvl, this will create new states of account.)
con: higher level pking will become obtuse. (not like it already isn't, power in this game should be treated as "Experienced" instead of Experience, this would create the award for experience allowing for new players to "feel" the power of Expertise.)
I'm going to stop adding to this as the idea isn't anything but vague.
​
Shamanism
This seems almost very much like a wild card that can go any way.
From what they tell us this can be very game changing helping with both the utility to help yourself in many ways to stop the power creep in the game, some ideas I have in mind is have a few more rare drops that you can modify your already collected items. (barrows items can be "blessed? Tributed? Enriched?")
Allowing for the older items to also hold new value be it a extreme this would be an option for people who acquire the level for the reward(s).
Another feature that could come of this is to be one with an element to increase the effect of specific spells, attack etc. much like the Charge spell.
Maybe deep delving the spirit realm can be the stronger approach to one side of something.
Shamanism Could be very helpful to fill in the "blanks".
From what we know.
Pro: Abilities to counter the already crazy meta.
Pro: Creates new content
Pro: Adds more depth to completion of tasks.
Pro: Can be used to influence other skills items etc.
Con: May make more clutter in the inventory during specific things
Con: May add a higher skill dependency due to things being untradable (unless the content isn't boring or complicated)
Con: Could be elaborate farming skill with benefits
I'm sure there is lots more to talk about but this one is by far the craziest idea that could idea split off into many factors like a shaman who appreciates the elements compared to a shaman that steals the life from creatures to benefit or you could have a shaman with only the goal to keep the team alive.
​
Sailing
This one by far is the one I joke about the most... but in the circumstances it will actually become pirates of the Caribbean we might as well discuss how practical it is from when we have been told.
For myself this one is the most confusing.
How would you buy, steal or hire the boat. if you hire a boat does this make it "peaceful" if you steal a boat is this from a hired boat, if you buy a boat can people hire you? .... this made my brain hurt. but only time can tell what this means.
On the other hand the new water would be a very interesting feature but leaving the awkward facts of what happens if you die at sea do you arrive in Lumbridge?
What happens to the boat?
can u ship wreck?
could this create more content around other skills that don't get trained as much threw the boring methods like "catching fish" or would this be a hunting ability that give fish as a reward and sometime loot with I could only assume would be a sailing reward.
Can we get mini bosses like a Tempoross but the elite version that you need full spirit angler to fight? or having a Kraken but you need slayer level to? (hunting elusive sea creature)
Or maybe a version of fishing trawler you can do on you own boat? (deep sea fishing)
Navigational challenges much like the crazy directions the ships go that you pay for, only this time since its free you have to do it! (navigating training!)
Navigational challenges just you get paid for it (Delivering packages from A to B)
New content! (new islands to explore) < --- Zeah
Sorry I really didnt want to meme this but I couldn't help it.
What we know tho.
Pro: You can own a boat
Pro: You can steal a bought
Pro: You can sail Beyond your wildest dreams
Pro: Raids might become PvP on the sea where you can have your friends conquer other peoples vessels and command a army bigger then in the wild only there will be no where to go, besides teleing out and Abandon ship!
Pro: Lots of new ideas
Con: Might change the outlook of the point and click structure.
Con: May increase server load as the sea would have a lot of animation.
really hard to think of all the bad things this would bring to be honest this one stumps me the most as it brings a lot of new content that may bring more people to the game due to the niche. (lets face it most of us are stuck playing the game we aren't leaving)
This is my opinion, so don't take it to heart and just know that its the future of the game.. i remember when everyone said they would quit if things got added look at us now!

Year 1 Update
Long time lurker, 1st time poster. I, 41/M was floxed last year around this time. The usual story, was given Cipro for suspected epididymitis which I did not have (big surprise). I’ll keep my story short as it’s similar to most on here except my symptoms are like 99% musculoskeletal.
What I had/Or mostly gone:
Eye problems (felt like I constantly had sand in my eyes) – Gone
Photosensitivity - Gone
Heart Palpitations – Mostly gone depending on diet. Fried foods and too much sugar will cause this to flare.
Tingling in my left hand and feet – Mostly gone, flares up here and there but not painful.
Brain Fog – Gone
Depersonalization - Gone
My current Symptoms:
Pain in my upper back – Constant, pain varies to certain degrees
Right Hamstring – Near constant but not everyday
Pain in shoulders – Intermittent
Bicep Pain – Intermittent
Calf pain – Intermittent
Rotating pain – Intermittent (sometimes neck, hands, elbows, feet, etc.)
None of the above pain is particularly intense but it is annoying and enough to make me avoid exercise and other activities. For a while I could not stand for long periods of time (at the grocery store, at work, around the house) because my shoulders, back or my calves would start aching. That is pretty much resolved and I am functional and can work, drive, and do most normal things. I’m not where I want to be, but I am happy with the improvements. As of now, I am pretty much stagnant and have not gotten worse or better and coming off a bad flare.
What’s Helped:
Possibly Supplements but it is hard to gauge (I have tried so many)
Red Light Therapy
Saunas
Stretching
Epsom Salt Baths
Icing the problem areas
Magnesium Spray
Cleaning up my diet
And most of all… TIME
My Stack:
Magnesium Glycinate
Calcium
ALA
Vitamins – Multi, C, B, D, & E
CoQ10
Turmeric
Probiotics
Flairs:
The weather (Rain, snow, and/or cold really affect me)
Fried and/or sugary food
Stress
Sitting too much/Inactivity
Doom scrolling – That post about Bobby Caldwell really affected me
Injuring myself rolling over in bed – Happened twice and recovered both times
Dehydration
I am looking into trying NAC and ordered some Astaxanthin. Given my age I am not looking to get back to 100% but if I can get some of this chronic pain under control, I would be happy. I have had some symptom free days and a few days when I forgot I am floxed but I still get flares. I am also thinking about trying LDN, but not sure how to get it.
I want to thank everyone in this group for the information provided and the overall support. Everywhere else is doom and gloom and I do not really have that outlook. I did have some dark days where I felt hopeless but I seem to keep bouncing back from these flares, so I do have hope and have been able to manage. Any suggestions would be welcome. If you have any questions feel free to DM me (as long as it is positive and not negative stuff, I have read the post on this and it made me hesitant to post my story). Thank you for reading and I will continue the good fight. I refuse to let Cipro win at this point.

Me [19f] and my ex [20m] had been dating for nearly 7 years . We got together at 13/14 and the early years of our relationship were nothing but pure bliss. We were often referred to as “end game” and our peers, family and even teachers would often command us for being able to maintain such a solid and consistent relationship at our young age especially in todays day and age. Going to the same school, having the same friend group and sharing the same hobbies were in my opinion, the things that attributed to our relationship being able to last for so long. Though young and naive , him and I would always express how we felt like God brought us together and that our relationship was uniquely important. We would spend all night chatting and pouring our hearts out , we went on adventures and dates and he knew that ANYTIME he needed ANYTHING I was a phone all away . I would do anything to see him smile and I would give my life if that ment that he would survive. I wasn’t only I love I genuinely felt obsessed with him. As we got older , our relationship began to change and his eyes started to wander . Social media came into play and hormones began to rage more than ever . Eventually he ended up cheating on me with someone he claimed to be “just a friend” which ended up shattering my heart and our relationship. In an effort to convince me otherwise , he got down on his knees and started to cry like I had never seen before and kept repeating that “he only loved me” blah blah blah . We broke up for a few months after I found out but ended up getting back together soon after. Ever since , he would “conveniently” end up in situations where he would have to work with her or was around her. He’d constantly make me feel bad to doubting his loyalty even after he cheated on me after being together for so long . We would constantly argue over him adding her back on social media after swearing that he would never or him texting his sister asking about her and her family. I always felt as though I was the side chick in my own relationship. About a year after he cheated , his childhood best friend [17m] , which he still was extremely close with , got into a tragic accident while on his way home from school . An ambulance hit him and rolled over his body and he died on impact. The news absolutely destroyed my boyfriend and our school. The night of the accident my boyfriend laid up all night crying and pacing up and down . The days following the accident were extremely tough for my boyfriend and he spent hours trying to rationalize his best friends death through many hours of tears. My heart broke for him and his classmates, as his best friend was in his class. The night of the viewing came and my boyfriend attended without me. One of my friends texted me during the viewing and told me that the girl that he had cheated on me with was crying and he went over to hug her . Apparently they were sobbing and embracing each other for a good 10 minutes, he wiped her tears and rubbed her back and vice versa. Though in hindsight , the embrace was justified being that they were both grieving a good friend , the news infuriated me and I felt like I needed to talk to him when he got home . I expressed how the embrace made me feel uneasy and uncomfortable and how I felt as though many other people could’ve comforted her ie her close girlfriends and parents so why did he have to ? Again he put on a whole performance and cried and begged me to just relax because although he cheated they were “just friends” and that the hug meant nothing. Given the circumstances I decided to leave it alone and believe him. I still felt uneasy about the funeral the next day but I shut my feelings off and focused on the real matter at hand ; my boyfriend about to burry his best friend in less than 12 hours. He did assure me that he would stay far away from her at the funeral. The day of the funeral came and I spent the entire morning praying with my boyfriend, wiping his tears and trying to do all that I can to make him happy. I had brought breakfast and hot coco to his house and even ironed his tux for him . I did not go to the funeral myself because I struggle with extreme social anxiety but I was going to watch the funeral online . My boyfriend understood and told me that he appreciated my efforts to support him even though I wouldn’t be there in person. He left and I went back home so that I could watch the funeral . The funeral was beautiful but the entire time I couldn’t stop worrying about him and her. I tried to pan the audience and hoped that the camera would glance over to where he was seated but it didn’t . Finally , 30 minutes before it ended I spotted him on the camera . Seated right next to her … with his arm around her I quickly texted him a long and detailed message with very colorful language. I blew up his phone and threaten to leave him if he didn’t move away from her . He ignored my texts all day and I continued to curse him out and call him constantly. When he got home he said that I could go to hell and told me that I was an ass for blowing up at him on the day of his best friends funeral . We dated for a couple more years and he continued to “conveniently” be around her and every time I would confront him he would tell me to get over it and bring up how I wasn’t there for him on the day of the funeral while she was… needless to say we broke up . But still to this day I wonder AITAH for starting an argument on that day ?

hello hello! first time posting on something like this :) little bit of backround, i’ve known my best friend for 5 years. she has had her fair share of shitty boyfriends and has also gone through traumatic experiences with 2 but that is certainly not my place to divulge into. i love her dearly and would do anything for her, and i know she just wanted love like anyone, but this is just not the way to go about it.
focusing back on this relationship, he was one of her higher ranking officers in rotc when she was a sophomore and he was a senior. they DID NOT date then, they just knew of eachother and she was dating her other physically abusive boyfriend at that time, nothing ever happened in high school with them. fast forward 2 and a half years later, he walked into the bar that she works at and they hit it off great to say the least. i was suspicious a bit but if she was happy, then i was happy.
three days later, they’re dating. and he starts saying inappropriate things like, “we can fix those later on down the line” referring to her breasts when she was commenting how they were small. and how he already wanted to have sex with her on their next date, which she wasn’t ready for. also made a comment on her ED “helping her out a bit.” i had consoled her with these and she didn’t talk to him for a few days.
around a month ago (2 weeks into their relationship) he cancelled on their date to the movies when she told him she was on her period. after a long talk with her, she finally broke it off with him, or so i thought :(
i don’t mean to make her sound like the bad guy either, she’s been going through more than anyone ever should right now. we have been going distant with college and i have my group of friends i’ve had since high school as well (they know all of this as well) and her whole family is in scrambles right now, which is another reason i feel i cant leave her, due to her past severe mental health issues.
today, i got home from a really long day at work (pre-k teacher 🫠) and she had texted me asking when my period ended since we usually have the same timing. i told her and she didn’t text back for a few minutes until she said she was late. i apologized since i know she does have some medical problems and said she replied “either that or i’m pregnant” i responded by saying she hadn’t had sex (in my mind her and this guy haven’t takes for a few weeks)
yeah you can guess what she said next. she informed me they’ve been fwb for 3 weeks and she has had sex. she started going off on apologies and how she knew it was a bad idea. to add on, a week ago he saved one of her nudes and 5 minutes later she got 15 follow requests from his military friends. context clues :) that was one reason why i was mad. but it wasn’t mainly that. i don’t care about the sex, or the photos, or the fwb, i’m heartbroken she lied to me. i love her dearly and only want the best for her, which obviously isn’t him or any of the other abusive exes she’s had in our half-decade or knowing eachother.
i told her that i was more hurt she lied than getting back together with him and told her i needed a minute to calm down and that was the last we talked (about an hour ago) after crying to my mom, here i am!
i feel awful because i know her past mental health struggles and i just walked away from the conversation. i just don’t know if this relationship is healthy for me anymore, but i’m terrified to leave her due to her past. all my friends and boyfriend have told me to distance myself but i’m just not that kind of person. i’m angry, i’m heartbroken, but i just know i cant leave her.

I suck at conversation, a conversation with me is more like a question and answer session. I rarely ever I initiate conversation. All my conversation revolves around pre-written scripts and deviation from said scripts results in a brain malfunction and I go mute.
But today not only did I speak to multiple people but we had good back and forths and I initiated the conversations.
Its my second day in a new job and when my colleague asked me questions I actually answered them and expanded on my answers rather than simply answering the direct question she asked, and we spoke for nearly 30 minutes. I didn't really ask her any questions though.
When I got home I bumped into a guy I've spoken to once or twice before but never really had a long conversation with him. He initiated the conversation and I didn't really ask him many questions but we talked about a range of things in detail and ended up talking for 3 hours about the most random stuff.
I also spoke to another guy I know. We speak regularly but he always initiates the conversations and I struggle to expand on my answers and never ask him question for fear of being too nosey. But today I actually asked him questions back and initiated some of the conversations and we had a good back and forth going and it wasn't just him asking me questions

Okay, take 2. My previous post was taken down due to it reading like a 'fishing expedition'. That's fair. I could have phrased that post much better, added more details, and taken the time to explain myself, instead of writing a quick hit and run sort of thing. In hindsight I realize that is how it came off to most.
I assure you, my heart is in the right place on this. So I will try to frame this discussion in terms of addressing at least one response that caught my attention from my previous post. I think that is a good starting point.
Also, I can't possibly take offense at comments made by people I never met who don't know me as a person. Every guy out there isn't looking to fetishize and abuse women, despite all of the unfortunately cynical responses that were previously offered. Let's see if we can all do better this time. ;)
Reading through the responses, I think u/petitepineux offered some good points that I want to respond to:

OP, I don't mean this in a bad way, but as a woman who dated a lot of men who wanted "intellectual women" over the years, a few patterns emerged that make me wary of people who post this way., and maybe other women can chime in.

1. The guys who were smart and wanted a woman who was only "smart enough to understand how smart he was" (but he is the arbiter of what is considered "smart")

I don't know any women who could possibly go along with such a sad and controlling routine for longer than an hour before red flags go off all over the place. How does this man even determine if she is 'smart enough' but not too smart to catch on to his game? Seems like a very specific psychological high wire act to me. There are a lot of controlling men to be sure, but this specific premise seems quite specialized to me. But, I'm not a woman, so there's that.
​

1. Really intelligent academic men who had fascinating conversations but were not emotionally on the same level of maturity

Some of my male friends definitely fit this role. Highly developed intellectual men in general can be emotionally under developed, and be super awkward around women. A mature INFJ male has the opposite problem. Highly developed emotionally, but doesn't always have his facts in order, can miss details, etc. Personally, most of my good friends (male or female) are highly developed intellectually, but not as emotionally developed as I am. *Cue the cynical comment about me selling my amazing self blah blah blah. It's just true. Notice I also said I'm not highly developed intellectually, but I am always looking to grow in that area by being around my smart and to the point amigos.
​

1. Smart men who had a fetish (not in the consensual or good way) for breaking down smart women to get an emotional rush

Yeah, this one is just a form of misogyny no? The adult male getting back at his mother over issues of neglect, abuse, and or trauma. To dominate another with either the intellect or the emotions screams of insecurity and early childhood issues. A lot of women have tried that stuff on me over the years. I would say there is a lot of emotional gas lighting coming from women on to men as well.
​

You might want to word it a bit differently if you want to lead with that criteria as a result.

So, hopefully this helps clear up the confusion I have caused. I take responsibility for that. Something I need to work on is to better explain myself, as so much of natural inter-personal communication is lost online in text. As an emotional person I sometimes forget that.

So i’ve been having trouble with my identity for a while now. From everything ranging from pronouns,sexuality, and gender For context i’ll do bullet points because i’m better at explaining with bullet points

• Sexuality: So i’ve been struggling with my sexuality for some years now. I’ve only had 2 crushes my entire life, both male. The strange thing about these crushes was that I never actually wanted to date them, it was more of a “you’re really pretty let’s be friends “ situation. During the time that I liked them I only wanted to be friends and I never actually wanted them to like me in a romantic way. I’m really uncomfortable with the idea of both dating and sex. I’ve had people ask me out before but it makes me very uncomfortable and even a little sad? Idk how to deal with this and it feels a little strange to me. I think I might be aromantic and asexual but i’m unsure. I’ve thought people were attractive before but it was just that, they were just an attractive/pretty person. I find both women and men attractive. However whenever i find a woman to be attractive i feel really strange, like i’m doing something wrong. I have a really homophobic family so maybe that’s why? I dunno it just feels like whenever I find a woman attractive I feel like im doing something bad or something I shouldn’t be doing.

I wanted to add that sometime I want to be into a relationship but at the same time I feel like i don’t actually want that

• Gender: Sometimes I get VERY confused with my gender identity. One minute I want to be a very masculine guy and then the next i want to be a very feminine girl. My face is naturally very feminine and round so whenever i want to feel like a masculine guy and i look and the mirror and see my feminine face i get sad and frustrated. On the other hand when I want to feel like a feminine girl my face appears to be too masculine so i get upset. I also sometimes get confused on why i hate certain parts of my body. For example, one minute i want to have a completely flat chest and but, then the next minute I don’t. This is very confusing to me 😅

If anyone has any advice about what I should do or what I might be pls let me know <3

I tried ordering from a fast food place near me a few times but it keeps going bad (drivers being at the place and then cancelling 3-4 times in a row and it going on for over an hour, which the place closed then) so I contacted a service agent to ask if there were any prior problems and I explained the situation to him. He responded with "oh no. It's hard to wait an hour for your order when you are hungry." Might just be me being defensive but it sounds sarcastic to me. Like 'oh no, it's sooo hard to wait for your food.' again, I might just be being defensive and it might be nothing but it seems sarcastic to me.
If it isn't just me, it might help for customer service to try to be more understanding. I understand that there are a lot of annoying people who you really wanna just stop talking to or cuss out but some people actually use it for the reason it's intended and shouldn't be treated with disrespect and sarcasm.
If it is just me and I'm overreacting, then Im sorry. I understand that it is difficult to express tone through text.
Also, if this belongs somewhere else then could you please tell me before you remove it? Thank you.

Me [19f] and my ex [20m] had been dating for nearly 7 years . We got together at 13/14 and the early years of our relationship were nothing but pure bliss. We were often referred to as “end game” and our peers, family and even teachers would often command us for being able to maintain such a solid and consistent relationship at our young age especially in todays day and age. Going to the same school, having the same friend group and sharing the same hobbies were in my opinion, the things that attributed to our relationship being able to last for so long. Though young and naive , him and I would always express how we felt like God brought us together and that our relationship was uniquely important. We would spend all night chatting and pouring our hearts out , we went on adventures and dates and he knew that ANYTIME he needed ANYTHING I was a phone all away . I would do anything to see him smile and I would give my life if that ment that he would survive. I wasn’t only I love I genuinely felt obsessed with him. As we got older , our relationship began to change and his eyes started to wander . Social media came into play and hormones began to rage more than ever . Eventually he ended up cheating on me with someone he claimed to be “just a friend” which ended up shattering my heart and our relationship. In an effort to convince me otherwise , he got down on his knees and started to cry like I had never seen before and kept repeating that “he only loved me” blah blah blah . We broke up for a few months after I found out but ended up getting back together soon after. Ever since , he would “conveniently” end up in situations where he would have to work with her or was around her. He’d constantly make me feel bad to doubting his loyalty even after he cheated on me after being together for so long . We would constantly argue over him adding her back on social media after swearing that he would never or him texting his sister asking about her and her family. I always felt as though I was the side chick in my own relationship. About a year after he cheated , his childhood best friend [17m] , which he still was extremely close with , got into a tragic accident while on his way home from school . An ambulance hit him and rolled over his body and he died on impact. The news absolutely destroyed my boyfriend and our school. The night of the accident my boyfriend laid up all night crying and pacing up and down . The days following the accident were extremely tough for my boyfriend and he spent hours trying to rationalize his best friends death through many hours of tears. My heart broke for him and his classmates, as his best friend was in his class. The night of the viewing came and my boyfriend attended without me. One of my friends texted me during the viewing and told me that the girl that he had cheated on me with was crying and he went over to hug her . Apparently they were sobbing and embracing each other for a good 10 minutes, he wiped her tears and rubbed her back and vice versa. Though in hindsight , the embrace was justified being that they were both grieving a good friend , the news infuriated me and I felt like I needed to talk to him when he got home . I expressed how the embrace made me feel uneasy and uncomfortable and how I felt as though many other people could’ve comforted her ie her close girlfriends and parents so why did he have to ? Again he put on a whole performance and cried and begged me to just relax because although he cheated they were “just friends” and that the hug meant nothing. Given the circumstances I decided to leave it alone and believe him. I still felt uneasy about the funeral the next day but I shut my feelings off and focused on the real matter at hand ; my boyfriend about to burry his best friend in less than 12 hours. He did assure me that he would stay far away from her at the funeral. The day of the funeral came and I spent the entire morning praying with my boyfriend, wiping his tears and trying to do all that I can to make him happy. I had brought breakfast and hot coco to his house and even ironed his tux for him . I did not go to the funeral myself because I struggle with extreme social anxiety but I was going to watch the funeral online . My boyfriend understood and told me that he appreciated my efforts to support him even though I wouldn’t be there in person. He left and I went back home so that I could watch the funeral . The funeral was beautiful but the entire time I couldn’t stop worrying about him and her. I tried to pan the audience and hoped that the camera would glance over to where he was seated but it didn’t . Finally , 30 minutes before it ended I spotted him on the camera . Seated right next to her … with his arm around her I quickly texted him a long and detailed message with very colorful language. I blew up his phone and threaten to leave him if he didn’t move away from her . He ignored my texts all day and I continued to curse him out and call him constantly. When he got home he said that I could go to hell and told me that I was an ass for blowing up at him on the day of his best friends funeral . We dated for a couple more years and he continued to “conveniently” be around her and every time I would confront him he would tell me to get over it and bring up how I wasn’t there for him on the day of the funeral while she was… needless to say we broke up . But still to this day I wonder AITAH for starting an argument on that day ?

its so weird to me how you reached out after blocking me because my bf at the time called you out on your shitty behaviour and how you treated me to apologize for everything and make amends, but when things go bad you blame me for all of it, tell me i should be grateful for everything you tried to do and then block me again.
I have nothing to be thankful for. You weren't a good friend to me ever and your selfish attempt to get me back to how it used to be didnt work. You didnt care about me at all, you just wanted someone to go with you to a bootycall just like when we were 15 and you made me sit downstairs while you had sex with random guys because you wanted a baby. And when i left because i felt overwhelmed by everything you call me stuck up and block me again.
Nobody is on your side. Your bootycall didn't even put in the effort to see you, but you went all out for her. I tried my best to support you even though you put me through shit, werent there for me in the hardest time in my life and then you block me because i stand up for myself for the first time. You're just as immature as you were when we were teenagers. You're just as selfish. You dont care about anyone but yourself. Im glad we're not friends anymore. You dont deserve a second of my time

Ok, please hear me out, the title sounds really bad and I don’t know if this is the right subreddit.
Info: My parents own a seafood restaurant chain in TX and we hire undocumented immigrants to work as cooks or dishwashers. We also have a few houses.
Let’s call the guy I’m trying to deport T. About a year back my parents hired T to come work as a chef in the restaurant my mom managed. At first, I really liked T. He was hardworking, nice and didn’t cause any trouble. But after hiring T we my parents bought an old house. The lawn was overgrown and it was trashed on the inside. on the weekends, my mom and I would go there to do yard work and clean up the house. After a few weeks T was recruited to come help us. He was really helpful and helps us get the job done faster. T kept on helping us with other work and any other stuff we needed to get done. After a while I just had this strange gut feeling, for some reason I started to believe that T liked my mom and my mom liked him back. I brushed it off at first but then my suspicions were confirmed. One night I borrowed my moms phone for something and a text popped up. It was from T.
Here’s some of the stuff he said word for word -how can i kiss you now -I want us to go, where we can be together, sweetheart, you don't know when I want to hug you, kiss you, touch your hair, tickle your waist, I want to show you what I feel for you, I have never loved a woman, how I love you ati, I think you feel the same with me -Every time your husband is not there call me to talk for a while, I'm glad when I talk to you
And also this one. This is the one that sent me over the roof and seething even more -I love you so much, I don't know how to tell you more, I like it a lot, I want to start a family with you
I feel so mad and I want to get revenge on both my mom and T, but T first. To be completely honest, I wanted to kill him. He was undocumented and my mom had no way of seeing T again. But then I thought about it and I realized how irrational that would be. I wanted to get rid of T for good, so I thought of the second best option, deporting him.
The problem is T lives in one of the houses we have for employees and there are other undocumented people in there who I really like and don’t want them deported. So how can I deport T without deporting other people? Is there a better way to get rid of T?

Tonight's the night it ends. All these years of stuggle, all these tears and pain. Of being invisible, you will have heard of me after tonight. I'm at my absolute limit and I know the correct course to take. I'm never bring another soul to this torment. Too this hell. It ends with me. Life was supposed to be easy and I made it complicated out of fear, I have no fear left. You won your words did there job I got the messege ynever again will you have anything bad to say. You looked me in the eyes and said you would care for me and you lied to my soul. Never again are we ever going to make anyone have to worry again it ends tonight. Wednesdays are my lucky days it's the day I met you and you made me feel free and safe it's the day you decided I didn't matter. I know I'm going to a better place from here and non of you guys are welcome to join . Our last breath will be of the cold night air on street where you think I belong. I have no other options existing is hell and I'm out of here

No, I don't look anything like my meitu pic in person. Yes, changing my looks, so dudes find me attractive will make me a one happy girl. I don't feel wanted yet before my surgery. 😔 I know changing my looks is going to get men for sure. I know this is going to work for me. I deserve to feel attractive. I am thinking of surgery already. I am not going to feel comfortable in my own skin. Sorry, but it's unlikely to change anything. My mind's made up. If you don't understand why I am going under the knife or try to talk me out of it, then you clearly don't know me or how I think. Surgery is going to change the rest of my life around and I know this is the path to take! 💯 I deserve to live a happy life and not live a shitty one. My looks are destroying my life and holding me back from things from like guys.. everything. It's the truth. I decided to do something about my looks for good! I am going to look so different after surgery. Transcend from ugly to pretty in person for once is one of my goals I can and I will be achieving. Did it ever occur to you surgery is an adult choice? You don't know. what's best for me.. I sure as hell do! Also, I shouldn't be dating people I'm not attracted to anyway. I can't help but cry all the time because of how I look, but I will be altering my looks so drastically on the outside and men will find me attractive enough to date me in the future. I want to date because I want to get to do what others get to do, and not feel left out! Nothing's wrong with that having surgery to land dates and perhaps partners. My standards will be so much higher in terms of looks when dating men, especially altering my looks drastically on the outside! This girl on reddit did the exact same thing she went from ugly to pretty, received the pretty privilege, treated much better, and all that good stuff. c: I was way picky before I even read what she posted. Why should it be any different with me? 🤔 I want to be pretty and I obviously want it so goddamn bad. I'll do whatever it takes to become a pretty girl with makeup, filler, surgery (change my features drastically), etc. That's how much altering my looks mean to me. I was crying hysterically earlier. People have had surgery (their makeovers) to get partners, land dates, etc.. and all of a sudden I can't have anything done? Pfffttt... whatever. No, I am not going to stay like this and somehow be happy. That's not fair to me especially when all my future paychecks working temporarily will go towards my surgery fund and other expenses too, but not when I get my working german shepherd. Working meaning busting my ass off to craft my looks on the outside (more tattoo ink: german shepherd sleeve, change my wardrobe: find my clothing/style, etc.) I don't look anything like my meitu photo in person. Just so people know. I could be "worse kind of ugly". I just want to be a dating material kind of girl for a change and hopefully the surgeon will make me a pretty and attractive girl. I am going to go out there, get what I want, and deserve in life! That's just how it's going to be. I am making me happy for a goddamn change. I've been past my breaking point. My appearance pisses me the fuck off! I go off looks. Don't like it? Kiss my ass. I don't care about you, nor do you mean anything to me. It's my turn to be attractive. I'm not going to be dead last anymore. Oh, hell no!

Short background info: I'm 19M with no job, no driver's license, and am not in college, due to the fact that I keep ending up in these situations, and I've lost all trust for any system that's supposed to help me.
The first instance of this phenomenon really happening was when I was 17 and in my senior semester of high school (I was in online school and had voluntarily opted to graduate a semester early as I thought it would be helpful). It proved more difficult than I had anticipated, but not for reasons you would initially think. Not only did the school decide to TRIPLE the amount of written assignments that year for everyone, but my town specifically was also having near-weekly power outages that just so happened to occur during this period of time, and caused me to miss a whole bunch of work, significantly impacting my grades. The cherry on top was that, at the end of the semester, the testing center for the ACT/SAT was too far of a drive, and iirc my family was having issues with our car anyway, so I never got to take either. I did manage to scrape by, barely graduating with all C's for the semester. However, my options for college have been significantly limited forever, due to this convoluted situation of external factors.
The next instance of this happening has to do with my first (and only) semester of college. It was an online school with a 100% acceptance rate. I was studying accounting but it ended up being confusing and had less to do with math (which I enjoyed) than I had thought. Still, I persisted and was on track to do fine for the semester. That is until my family decided to move across the country on a 2-week-long road trip, and I had no choice but to go with them as I live with them. Due to being on the road all day and only staying at hotels at night, I had practically no internet access once again. It was kinda like my high school situation all over again, but for a different reason. When I finally got internet access again at the new house, I realized I had missed pretty much the most important work of the semester, and all my A's and B's had turned into F's. The semester was almost over too, leaving me no time to realistically raise my grades enough to pass, so I sucked it up and failed and never went back. Almost a whole semester worth of college work for nothing, leaving me back at square one, just older.
The third, most recent, and arguably most tragic instance of this happening just happened last year. I can't really go into much detail regarding the opportunity that was affected, but I can share what happened to me individually. Basically, I was in a really rare but cool opportunity right up my alley that lasted a few months and would benefit me forever. For the first half, it was going smoothly. I was also just learning to drive and had just scheduled my road test. However, Hurricane Ian eventually decided to strike and take out the power pretty much the day before my road test and also interfere with said opportunity. Simultaneously, I started experiencing many strange health issues. Over the next few weeks they got worse. To put a long story short, eventually I couldn't fall asleep at all, was having seizures (or at least something similar), was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, and put in a mental ward for 10 days. I eventually came back to normal, but I strongly believe I was misdiagnosed and still haven't received closure or a real second opinion. You can find more about this in my post history. My best guess is that I had a blood clot in my brain/head, because immediately after one of the seizures, I felt a crack in the back of my head which triggered a really bad nosebleed, and after that I gradually started getting better. This seizure also happened WHILE in the mental hospital and they said I was FAKING all of it. They actually kept me longer because I "faked" that seizure (When I didn't, it was real. Maybe it wasn't a seizure, but whatever it was, it was similar and wasn't fun). I'm still really mad about that, because I probably could have died from their negligence had it been something worse. Anyways, the opportunity I was in just kept going on without me because there were other people in it, but it was pretty much over by the time I got out, which felt really isolating and basically ruined what was left of it for me specifically.
But yeah, to sum up, every time I think I'm doing something to move forward with my life, something else always comes along and interferes to the point of sabotage. I'm sick of this happening and have made no further efforts to improve my life anymore because something stupid always happens that sets me back to where I began. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of mooching off my parents and feeling embarrassingly inferior and increasingly incompetent compared to my fellow young adults, but it's still better than going through these types of experiences repeatedly and wasting my time.

I just got off my 2nd phone interview and I think I did good, and they invited me for a “sit-down interview” but the odd part is that when I received the email notifying me where the interview would take place, it was nowhere NEAR the McDonald's I plan to work at (like a 30-minute drive away from each other) and I'm wondering is that normal? I even checked out the location on Google Maps, but I didn't see a McDonald's in that area, and before I got off the phone, near the beginning, the guy on the phone even repeated where I was applying to work at, and what he said was right, but the email that told me when the sit-down would be, says otherwise? Is that normal? If it does turn out to be an error, how would I get back in contact with the person I talked to get that fixed? Can I just recall the number that called for the phone interview in the first place? (if I'm overreacting just tell me please lol, thank you)

i started liking this guy two years ago, and it was pretty dumb. he was very attractive in my opinion and i just liked everything about him. anything he did made me melt and want to scream.
earlier last year, some of my friends told him (an old friend had the year before too, so, he already knew) and the one who did said he "told him because he knew he'd like me". eventually we started talking and although it wasn't too often, it made me really happy.
later in the year, i got more confident with our relationship because he had rejected one of my friends saying that he liked me and not her, and he told me that he liked me directly. but, even though it seemed like he had feelings for me because he would say nice things or tell me not to give up hope for finding love. he said he had gotten me a gift for christmas and would give it to me the next time he saw me, but we never spoke again.
thats it. he just stopped speaking to me. a few people said that it was because i didnt try, but i was the last one to text him three times. and he never interacted with me in person, he just acted like i was not there. i was just in the background when i thought i meant something.
it really did something horrible to my already low self esteem. i hated the feeling of having so much love to give and just having to hold it in. i would never talk to him again, i would never get attention from him again, he would never tell me he liked me again. it sucked to know i would never talk to him again. and the worst part, he would talk to my friends right in front of me and not even acknowledge me. even if he didnt like me anymore, we still couldve been friends.
i talked to my closest friend about it a lot, and she told me to ask one of his friends if he still liked me but it wouldve been too embarrassing. today, she told me that she asked one of their mutual friends to ask him. she told me what he said and it was one of the first times in a long time that i wanted to cry immediately.
he said he never liked me. not once in that entire time did he like me. none of the stuff he said was real. i can imagine him sitting behind his phone laughing at how stupid i was to believe him. it was the first time i thought someone liked me and they were lying. its hard to believe but it also makes so much sense. its the worst feeling to know that he never cared, and sometimes i could feel that. like under his words he felt dumb saying it. and i felt dumb believing it. maybe it was just his voice, but he never seemed genuine. there were only a few times when it truly seemed like we were friends.
but why would he do that and lie all that time? what was the motive? no one made him do that. no one made him start anything. no one made him talk to me. and thats why it felt real. but maybe someone did tell him, make him. why cant i just experience real love? why cant i have any sort of romantic interaction without it being orchestrated? why cant i have something real?
i hate this existence of just being in the background of everything. i felt so good about myself this morning, and now i feel like nothing. i just want to know why he did that. why he made me believe i had a chance. is he just rude? is he just a bad person? but i dont want to believe that. some part of me still wants to believe that hes a good person and not as rude as i know he is. that was really messed up. and i dont like him as much. but some part doesnt want to give up.
im so so so dumb. absolutely stupid. why would i believe that? i just liked him so much i wanted to trust him. he doesnt deserve this amount of love from me, but im still going to give every bit of my love to him because i dont know what else to do. i hate him, but it feels dumb because i dont think i have any real reason. i guess i do. it doesnt matter, he sucks.
i just know my friend is gonna shoot her shot again because she just broke up with her boyfriend. its gonna suck watching that. i dont know if i'll live through it. i just want to make it to the point where things get better. i hope they do.

So i beat the game already, but last time i forgot to wait near the helipad and there was only like 40 seconds from my save in the main lobby to get to the helipad
i was able to make it to the helipad in time, with like 5 seconds to spare, and i would stand on the helipad
But, hilariously, the helicopter pilot looks through his binoculars at the rooftop, and says something like "well i guess he risked it all for a scoop" and the game just ends.
apparently theres a whole nother part with a commander fight and a tank, i want to experience this.
So i did another playthrough (god this one was sooo much easier) and it says ALL SCOOPS CLOSED BUT...
I just saved after the cutscene where the military guys drop in the glass dome from above, and i just killed two with my machete.
I gotta ask, did i already "meet isabella at 10am"?? I keep reading that on posts and stuff.
​
Is that what i didnt do last time? Ive done everything the game points me to. Is there some sort of additional unmarked easter egg quest where i need to meet her at 10am in order to beat the game?
Any help would be greatly appreciated, i want to grind some military guys to level up more but i dont want to mess up again

I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I last saw you, sometimes I wonder if you're creating these visions in my mind. somehow you're more spiritually aligned and psychic these are things I know in my heart are true about you these are things that I love about you, the way you can say so many things without saying anything at all. you say it all with how you look at me with those eyes. its incredible to experience, so in a way I can believe that you are sending me visions telepathically as well. i feel like you must've casted a spell on me. this love that I have always felt for you felt so strong and the last time I saw you I wasn't expecting for those feelings to be reignited. how do you do that? you fall asleep and I'm suddenly falling in love with you all over again? i feel so crazy. and irrational. and all i want and all that would satisfy me is just to be around you. you're so beautiful and so cool..
When i wake up i want to turn around and be able to tell you how I've been dreaming of you since i met you,
Last night i had a dream that, you were there and i was trying to figure out a way to get to you but you were surrounded by so many people. it was hard to get through. and what was weird is even though you have so many options, your attention was on me. like you were trying to get to me too. it reminded me of all those times we were drinking and even though there was a party of people anytime we would talk it just felt like there was no one in the room but us
remember the time we were comparing our hands? did you feel that it was electric too? I wish i could touch you more i was so excited to get your hands on mine. i wanted to do more. and i really hope you know that if i had the nerve i would've kissed you a long long time ago. especially when your friend told me how you felt. I wanted to hear you say it. I wanted to see your beautiful face that morning and watch your pretty mouth form the words that said " yes, yes i do have feelings for you" i wanted to kiss you that morning regardless of the consequences that would happen next.
I don't care who youre in a relationship with i have never met a person like you. the amazing H. I want you so badly that i need you and I feel like we've had this lifetimes ago if you believe in that.
The next time that i wanted to kiss you was that trip we took together just you and i. i remember i was just staring at you because the way you get shy and the way you care about everyone. how you are so sweet i just love that about you. it makes you so much more beautiful than you already are, gorgeous and breathtaking, and i couldn't help myself feel like falling for you all over again, you are someone that i feel I've never experienced in anyone else you are truly one of a kind, a rarity and i feel like this is something that you know. and you looked at me smiling and you said "what?" remember? and there was so much i couldn't say then, i wanted to kiss you then, right there. you are so kissable i don't know if you know that but i feel like you walked out of my dream and stumbled into my life. its insane how you make me feel so attached and yet we haven't been able to express how we feel to each other. i mean i think you feel the same. i feel at least you would kiss me back which that feeling alone is so irresistable. I'm surprised i managed this long with all the times i actually wanted to kiss you
and you know what... I'm really tired of being the good guy Why and what is that getting me? I miss you and i want you and i want you now. i cant wait any longer. i feel that i am going to lose you
actually that's why I'm writing is that last time really scared me into feeling like I'm really close to losing you
even tho you were just as beautiful hot irresistable as much as any other time, there was this level of being far away in your behavior. maybe its because you were tired that it felt like distance for me. and maybe its because i miss you. but it felt like you were emotionally leaving me behind. it felt like you lost hope in us ever being a thing maybe you lost your patience with me. like i ran out of time to tell you how i felt because i barely realized what you meant to me when i saw you last. it just all came rushing in why i love you.why i fell in love with you
I just felt like shit about the situation i felt like i shouldn't be feeling the way i feel for you because youre with someone else. and i have just been working on being a better person but that meant denying that this connection had anything more than what felt like intrusive lust for you.
please don't let me go. I'm coming over and I'm going to tell you then, I'm actually packing now. and i want things to be okay between us because i love you and i want you to know how much you mean to me. ill be there soon