Enjoy your weekend Houston!
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THURSDAY - JUNE 1st

Rocky Horror Picture Show @ Rooftop Cinema Club Uptown @ 7:45PM
Astros vs Angels @ Minute Maid Park @ 7PM *Promotions: Alex Bregman Jump Throw Bobblehead and Coca-Cola Ballpark Bundle.
'Chocolat' Screening @ MFAH @ 7PM This classic 1980s film about the legacy of French colonialism in Africa is shown in new 4K digital restoration.
MusiqaLab @ CAMH @ 6:30PM Free concert by MusiqaLab collective.
Toy Story in Concert @ Woodlands Pavilion @ 8PM The Houston Symphony performs the award-winning score by composer Randy Newman live to the film.
Golden Dawn Arkestra @ Discovery Green @ 7PM / 9PM Virtuosos Golden Dawn Arkestra take listeners on a whirlwind adventure through musical genres and styles.
Matt Mathews Stand Up @ Houston Improv @ 7:30PM / 9:45PM
Ill Nino @ Warehouse Live @ 6:30PM

FRIDAY- JUNE 2nd

Astros vs Angels @ Minute Maid Park @ 7PM *Promotions: Lance McCullers Jr. '90s Throwback Replica Jersey, Pregame Happy Hour, Lou Gehrig Day, Friday Night Fireworks.
Playdate @ MFAH @ 11:30AM Through play and experimentation in programs like MFAH Playdate, toddlers have their first experience with art.
World Trekkers: Philippines @ HMNS @ 7PM Expand your horizons with an evening dedicated to the culture of Philippines- see a traditional dance performance and craft a special inlay box.
Classic Albums Live - The Beatles @ Miller Outdoor Theatre @ 8:30PM The beloved Classic Albums Live partners with the Houston Symphony musicians for an epic performance of the 1967 Beatles album 'Stg. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.'
Jay Wheeler @ Smart Financial Centre @ 8PM
Bryson Tiller @ House of Blues @ 7PM
Randy Rogers Band @ White Oak Music Hall @ 6PM
Dillon Carmichael @ Warehouse Live @ 8PM
Gareth Emery @ Stereo Live @ 10PM
Keeshea Pratt Band @ The Heights Theater @ 8PM
Dolly Parton Dance Party @ White Oak Music Hall @ 9:30PM

SATURDAY- JUNE 3rd

Astros vs Angels @ Minute Maid Park @ 3PM *Promotions: Jeremy Peña Gold Glove Bobblehead and Girls’ Night Out
Dash vs Orlando Pride @ Shell Energy Stadium @ 7:30PM
Double Exposure Portraits @ CAMH @ 2PM In this drop-in activity, visitors can create a digital double exposure portrait inspired by one of current museum exhibitions.
Ongoing - Saturday Stargazing @ George Observatory in Needville
Ongoing - Workouts in the Park @ Discovery Green @ 9AM / 10AM This week, enjoy Hatha Yoga and Tai Chi at the park!
Ongoing - Arte en el Parque / Art in the Park @ Discovery Green @ 12PM Students, ages 3 to 12 will create a unique art piece while improving their speaking and listening skills en español!
'Turning Red' Screening @ Discovery Green @ 7PM / 8:45PM Enjoy this Disney and Pixar movie at Discovery Green's Anheuser-Busch Stage.
Coffee and Cars @ POST @ 9AM Come out and enjoy an amazing display of machines at POST!
Accordion Concert @ Miller Outdoor Theatre @ 7PM Presented by Texas Folklife, this evening concert is a dedicated celebration of the unofficial instrument of Texas - the accordion!
Janet Jackson @ Woodlands Pavilion @ 7:30PM *With Ludacris
Rebelution @ Bayou Music Center @ 6:30PM
RUEL @ House of Blues @ 7PM
Doyle @ Warehouse Live @ 7:30PM
Rhapsody of Fire @ Warehouse Live @ 8PM
shame @ White Oak Music Hall @ 8PM *With Been Stellar
Paul Oakenfold @ Stereo Live @ 10PM
Hoang @ RISE Rooftop @ 10PM

SUNDAY- JUNE 4th

Astros vs Angels @ Minute Maid Park @ 1PM *Promotions: Astros Baseball Clutch, Kids Run the Bases, Yoga Day, and Family Sunday 4-Pack
'Dancing the Twist in Bamako' Screening @ MFAH @ 5PM This is a romantic story set against the backdrop of post-colonial Mali in 1960s on the cusp of dramatic political change.
Sunday Family Studio @ MFAH @ 1PM Spend time exploring the galleries with a teaching artist and then head to the studio to create your own artwork.
J. Worra @ Clé Pool @ 2PM

All Weekend

THURSDAY & FRIDAY - 'Sleeping Beauty' Ballet @ The Grand @ 7PM The classic tale performed by the Galveston Ballet.
FRIDAY & SATURDAY - Houston Palestine Film Festival @ MFAH The MFAH is hosting the opening weekend of the 16th Houston Palestine Film Festival with a trio of internationally acclaimed features.
FRIDAY & SATURDAY - Nimesh Patel Stand Up @ Houston Improv
SATURDAY & SUNDAY -Led Zeppelin Experience @ HMNS @ 5PM The music and lyrics of the classic rock group Led Zeppelin have been visually interpreted using three-dimensional fulldome technology.
All weekend - 'Wicked' Musical @ The Hobby Center A Broadway sensation, this musical looks at what happened in the Land of Oz…but from a different angle.
All weekend - 'Divergence' Ballet @ Brown Theater LAST CHANCE - This mixed repertoire program features Stanton Welch's explosive 'Divergence,' as well as several other exciting new performances.
All weekend - 'Torera' Play @ Alley Theatre LAST CHANCE - A world premiere play written by a stunning new voice in the American theatre, 'Torera' tells a poignant story about becoming your truest self by proudly stepping into the ring

Ongoing events

Ongoing - Impressionist and Post-Impressionist Masterpieces Exhibition @ MFAH NEW - See outstanding works by art stars including Cezanne, Degas, Gauguin, Van Gogh, Manet, and Modigliani presented within the context of their experiences.
[Ongoing - Si Lewen ‘The Parade’ Exhibition @ Menil] (https://www.menil.org/exhibitions/366-si-lewen-the-parade) Menil’s latest exhibition features 63 drawings by Polish-American artist Si Lewen, which compromise a graphic novel depicting WWII and the liberation of Poland.
Ongoing - ‘Hyperreal: Gray Foy’ Exhibition @ Menil The exhibition features American artists Gray Foy’s most important and celebrated works.
Ongoing - ‘The Curatorial Imagination of Walter Hopps’ Exhibition @ Menil The exhibition explores the influential vision of one of the most distinguished curators - Walter Hopps, and features artwork by Warhol, Kienholz, Gilliam, and many others.
Ongoing - 'Art of the Cameroon Grassfields' Exhibition @ Menil This exhibition celebrates the enduring artistic traditions from Cameroon and its global diaspora.
Ongoing - Wall Drawing Series: Mel Bochner @ Menil Drawing Institute The Menil Drawing Institute is proud to work with artist Mel Bochner on the fourth installment of the museum’s ephemeral wall drawing series.
Ongoing - 'Where Do We Go From here' Exhibition @ CAMH Contemporary Arts Museum Houston’s (CAMH) Teen Council presents their 13th biennial exhibition featuring work from Houston-area teen artists.
Ongoing - 'Ming Smith: Feeling the Future' Exhibition @ CAMH NEW - the exhibition explores artist Ming Smith’s unique, multi-layered work in various formats.

Here's my list for this weekend, I'm sure there is plenty I missed so please add it down below. Also, at popular request you can now get this as a newsletter. Sign up and maybe one day I'll be able to afford Dunkin' more than twice a week.

THURSDAY - JUNE 1

Red Sox vs Cincinnati Reds @ Fenway Park @ 7PM
Discussion: Black Art @ MFA @ 7PM Join this conversation with Boston community leaders about what it means to have a “seat at the table” and why representation is vital in art institutions.
Julieta Venegas @ Shubert Theatre @ 8PM Hear Julieta Venegas - one of the greatest pioneers of Spanish-language pop music, live in Boston!
The Music of George Gershwin @ Symphony Hall @ 8PM Two of today’s most celebrated artists—Jean-Yves Thibaudet and Michael Feinstein - come together to celebrate the legacy of Gershwin and his peers.
Hayley Kiyoko @ House of Blues @ 6PM
The Backseat Lovers @ Roadrunner @ 8PM
Panchiko @ Paradise Rock Club @ 7PM
Rosie @ Brighton Music Hall @ 7PM

FRIDAY- JUNE 2

Red Sox vs Rays @ Fenway Park @ 7PM *Promotion: Lou Gehrig Day
First Fridays: Poolside Pride @ ICA @ 5PM Start pride month with ICA’s monthly after-hours party where you can enjoy art, dance, try summer drinks, and watch a dazzling drag performance.
‘True Crime Obsessed’ Podcast LIVE @ The Wilbur @ 7:30PM ‘True Crime Obsessed’ is a leading podcast in its genre, with over 200 million downloads.
Ricardo Arjona @ Agganis Arena @ 8PM
Hippo Campus @ Leader Bank Pavilion @ 7:30PM *With Gus Dapperton
Logic @ MGM Music Hall @ 8PM *With Juicy J
Thrice @ House of Blues @ 7PM
ARMNHMR @ Big Night Live @ 9:30PM
Big Wreck @ Paradise Rock Club @ 7PM
Jake Swamp and the Pine @ Brighton Music Hall @ 7PM

SATURDAY- JUNE 3

Red Sox vs Rays @ Fenway Park @ 1PM / 6PM
Beyond the Spectrum Kids: Oceans & Boats @ MFA @ 10:30AM In this class, kids will explore the theme of the sea and boats in art and make their own acrylic paintings.
Red Bull’s Cliff Diving World Series @ ICA @ 10AM Catch the season opening of the Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series at the ICA
Stars On Ice 2023 @ Agganis Arena @ 7:30PM *Featuring Olympic Champion Nathan Chen and other U.S. Olympic Medalists.
Sam Jay Stand Up @ The Wilbur @ 7PM
New England Film Orchestra @ Hatch Memorial Shell @ 7PM Family-friendly show with sci-fi and space film music.
Video Games Live @ Symphony Hall @ 8PM Feel the adrenaline with this immersive concert experience featuring music from the most iconic video games of all time, soundtracked by the amazing Boston Pops.
Walker Hayes @ Leader Bank Pavilion @ 6:30PM
GRYFFIN @ MGM Music Hall @ 8PM
GRYFFIN @ Big Night Live @ 10:30PM
BANG YOUNGGUK @ Big Night Live @ 6PM
Y’all Out Boy @ Paradise Rock Club @ 7PM
Peezy @ Brighton Music Hall @ 7PM

SUNDAY- JUNE 4

Red Sox vs Rays @ Fenway Park @ 1:30PM
Artist Talk: Tabaimo @ MFA @ 2PM Tabaimo joins an MFA curator and a scholar to discuss her groundbreaking work in capturing contemporary Japanese society through unique video installations.
Yoga & Meditation in the Galleries @ Peabody Essex Museum Enjoy a peaceful morning at PEM doing yoga at 9AM, followed by a session of relaxing meditation at 10.
Baroque Masterpieces from Epic Films in Concert @ Berklee Performance Center @ 8PM For this intimate solo recital, the triumphant Polina Osetinskaya turns to a program of some of the most enduring musical masterpieces in history.
Symphony for Science @ Symphony Hall @ 3PM Symphony for Science is an annual benefit concert that aims to raise awareness, funds, and hope for healthcare and STEM education causes.
Billy Joel Tribute @ Hanover Theatre @ 7:30PM A band plays tribute to one of the foremost songwriters of the twentieth century, Billy Joel.
Full Spin Drag Show x Britney Spears @ Crystal Ballroom @ 8PM
Eladio Carrion @ House of Blues @ 7PM
Inner Wave @ Brighton Music Hall @ 7PM
‘Pride Calling’ Party @ Big Night Live @ 8PM

All weekend

All weekend - 'Evita' Opera @ Loeb Drama Center @ 7:30PM Inspired by the real life of the iconic Eva Perón, this Tony-award winning rock opera is remastered and back on stage after much anticipation!
All weekend - 'Sleeping Beauty' Ballet @ Citizens Bank Opera House LAST CHANCE - Hear one of Tchaikovsky’s greatest compositions performed live by the Boston Ballet Orchestra and witness magic and adventure unfold before you.

Ongoing events

Ongoing - Musical Shows @ MoS Planetarium Museum of Science puts on special experiences adapting the music of Coldplay, Rihanna, Pink Floyd, and Prince to immersive visuals in the Charles Hayden Planetarium
Ongoing - ‘Wedding Fashion and Traditions Exhibition @ MFA NEW - The exhibition explores the origins and development of wedding customs in the United States through fashion, jewlery, and photography.
Ongoing - 'E.Jane: Drenched in Light' Exhibition @ MFA E. Jane's work explores the labor and inner lives of Black women and the future of Blackness and queerness.
Ongoing - ‘Otherworldy Realms of Wu Junyong’ Exhibition @ MFA Inspired by Chinese folklore and Greek mythology, Wu Junyong’s mixed-media works seamlessly blend diverse historical traditions with his contemporary experience to express human emotions, conflicts, and aspirations that transcend time and borders.
Ongoing - 'Touching Roots' Exhibition @ MFA This exhibition traces narratives of Blackness across the Atlantic world by bringing together work from artists who absorbed and reinterpreted African artistic practices, sacred customs, and cultural expressions.
Ongoing - 'Hokusai: Inspiration and Influence' Exhibition @ MFA The exhibition explores Katsushika Hokusai's impact during his lifetime and beyond. More than 100 woodblock prints, paintings, and illustrated books by Hokusai are on view alongside about 200 works by his teachers, students, rivals, and admirers.
Ongoing - 'Who Holds Up the Sky' Exhibition @ MFA Organized in partnership with a Ukrainian NGO, this exhibition presents the work of artists who have been documenting the war—providing testimony of Russia’s crimes and a glimpse into many Ukrainian citizens’ lives.
Ongoing - 'María Berrío: The Children’s Crusade' Exhibition @ ICA Innovative, unique, and touching, María Berrío's work is a blend of watercolor painting and collaging inspired by poetry, folklore, and realms of magic and how these elements are woven into our reality.
Ongoing - Simone Leigh Exhibition @ ICA Simone Leigh’s landmark masterpieces from the 2022 Venice Biennale are now on view along her other key works.
Ongoing - ‘American Art from the Spanish Empire’ Exhibition @ Harvard Art Museums The exhibition showcases Spanish colonial paintings from South America and the Caribbean and reflects on the colonial past of the America’s and the role of art in imperialism.

Seeing Haken in Chicago on the 3rd and this is my first solo concert (without a parent) and first concert where I have a vip ticket! Any suggestions on what to have them sign? Anything I should prep for in advance?

Period: 1185.51 days

	Submissions	Comments
Total	998	46187
Rate (per day)	0.84	38.95
Unique Redditors	417	5087
Combined Score	132595	380655

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1. 2631 points, 24 submissions: DMananK
   
   1. Story Behind the Cover of Hard Disk Vol. 1 by Raftaar (186 points, 12 comments)
   2. Top DHH Albums of 2022 (167 points, 61 comments)
   3. Dissecting the Super Sonic bar from Seedhe Maut’s 101 (164 points, 23 comments)
   4. Top DHH EPs of 2022 (163 points, 33 comments)
   5. Cool Detail in F16 from Raftaar’s Hard Drive Vol. 1 (157 points, 14 comments)
   6. Dissecting the Virat Kohli bar from Prabh Deep’s Taqat (142 points, 21 comments)
   7. 101 by Seedhe Maut (139 points, 12 comments)
   8. Tabia by Prabh Deep (127 points, 39 comments)
   9. Tadipaar by MC Stan (127 points, 26 comments)
   10. Prabh Deep - Bhram (99 points, 69 comments)
2. 2536 points, 13 submissions: GantaiREAPER
   
   1. Found this Haryanvi drill on ig and it sounds so dope. (Song: Bagheera Artist: VAMP (ig- @isthisvamp)) (358 points, 41 comments)
   2. Seedhe Maut x Young Stunners dropping this year (350 points, 30 comments)
   3. Young Stunners at the Wireless Festival truly representing DHH internationally (322 points, 43 comments)
   4. Seedhe Maut performed an unreleased track at chandigarh (255 points, 28 comments)
   5. Talha Anjum's Worth the Wait EP's Cover Art is a picture from 2015. This man is the definition of perseverance. (209 points, 20 comments)
   6. Spot the rappers (190 points, 89 comments)
   7. Deep Kalsi collabing with Umer Anjum and Panther on his next track (184 points, 36 comments)
   8. Seedhe Maut performed yet another unreleased track named "Sun Toh" at Chandigarh (162 points, 31 comments)
   9. Paradox performed an unreleased track at his latest concert (128 points, 30 comments)
   10. Is Umair the biggest producer as of now in DHH? (122 points, 30 comments)
3. 2182 points, 1 submission: TempestAmit
   
   1. Bajrang dal cancelled mc stan's Indore show (2182 points, 597 comments)
4. 2128 points, 16 submissions: JNJ1105
   
   1. Krsna - Time Will Tell (336 points, 305 comments)
   2. Beef Squashed .......The Positivity We Need ! (238 points, 28 comments)
   3. Kr$na - No Cap (175 points, 128 comments)
   4. Guneghar - Divine Prod by (HIT - BOY) (161 points, 54 comments)
   5. Brodha V Kr$na - Forever (152 points, 144 comments)
   6. KR$NA - OG (152 points, 94 comments)
   7. Kr$na - I Guess (146 points, 209 comments)
   8. Divine - Gunehgar (134 points, 114 comments)
   9. Krsna- Fall Off(Extended) (107 points, 84 comments)
   10. Takiya Kalaam - EP By Yashraj (103 points, 17 comments)
5. 1964 points, 16 submissions: tangrikebab
   
   1. Prabh announced the tracklist and features for Bhram Deluxe! (227 points, 32 comments)
   2. Prabh Deep has left Azadi Records. (203 points, 105 comments)
   3. Divine defends Indian Hip Hop after Drake's alleged sarcastic story (189 points, 130 comments)
   4. This is for all the "critcs", especially for Hustle. Y'all are boxing up what rap as a concept is, and trust me, the opinions that I've seen on this sub about a lot of performances, would discredit SO many artists from being in hip hop. (167 points, 44 comments)
   5. Thoughts? (163 points, 82 comments)
   6. Drop your favourite quotables from Talha Anjum's Open Letter (134 points, 142 comments)
   7. Stats enthusiasts in this sub - is this a record? Curious to know! (122 points, 23 comments)
   8. Prabh Deep's story. Do you think it's about the poor numbers that Bhram got? He absolutely deserves much more, just hoping he doesn't get discouraged - it's been a long time. (110 points, 54 comments)
   9. Bhram Deluxe Release Date Announced: 02.03.2023 (91 points, 18 comments)
   10. This sub is about to overtake JCole in sometime. Insane. (87 points, 12 comments)
6. 1839 points, 17 submissions: Interesting-Force347
   
   1. Awaam vs Carriappa is coming. One of the most ironic twists in the tale for DHH. Can't wait to see him put KLS #2 and well above lil bunty and M4(K). (179 points, 162 comments)
   2. Isko bhut zorr se beef chahiye (158 points, 37 comments)
   3. YS performing Afsanay Live(From TY 's Insta) (155 points, 18 comments)
   4. Seedhe Maut on Launch of Coke Studio Bharat. There maybe better pics (141 points, 20 comments)
   5. Rooh ko Shanti mil gyi logon ko? (122 points, 11 comments)
   6. Would this type of vibe suit Krsna Or any rapper? I didn't like it at first but it kind of isn't that bad. [Credit: Remix By - Decade Ft. Krsnaupdates] (122 points, 47 comments)
   7. Kr$na bhaiya finally using twitter for the right purposes other than being a creeps for girls. (116 points, 11 comments)
   8. Be ready, now that DHH is getting popular, both the left and right extremists will be involving DHH into their agenda. (115 points, 86 comments)
   9. Talha Anjum is going to drop his album. (110 points, 30 comments)
   10. Social media par mohabbat hi krte rahoge ya collab bhi aayega? (93 points, 16 comments)
7. 1771 points, 1 submission: HarpyRox
   
   1. Straight talk ! Even HoneySingh was surprised (1771 points, 134 comments)
8. 1699 points, 11 submissions: ___sohammmm
   
   1. Haath Varti - Kshmr X Mc Stan Out this Friday (352 points, 76 comments)
   2. Thoughts ?? (279 points, 66 comments)
   3. KR$NA - Kaha Tak Music Video Time Will Tell EP (218 points, 56 comments)
   4. HONEY 3.0 Date Announced!!!! (172 points, 72 comments)
   5. Thoughts ??? (143 points, 61 comments)
   6. DIVINE Mumbai Show Entry (114 points, 10 comments)
   7. Encore Abj taking shots on rolling stone India (111 points, 36 comments)
   8. Thoughts? (90 points, 24 comments)
   9. Ammy Virk X Divine - 27th April (75 points, 14 comments)
   10. Ab 17 X Panther Prod by. Sezonthebeat coming on 02.03.2023 (73 points, 7 comments)
9. 1683 points, 11 submissions: Puneet_7164
   
   1. Dino is talking shots on whom ? (383 points, 53 comments)
   2. Opinion on Biggest Indian Hip-Hop artist and some artist rankings !!! (309 points, 117 comments)
   3. Seems like Badshah Bhai read our comments ;) (191 points, 19 comments)
   4. Difficult to Digest (145 points, 53 comments)
   5. King's latest tweet ! Was Travis's performance really underwhelming..Because i also saw a lot of stories people saying that. (142 points, 27 comments)
   6. Legends - "New Life" Album 2023 snippet (95 points, 24 comments)
   7. Why Munawar Faruqui is desperately trying to get included/involved in DHH. It is really annoying to me seeing him doing "Zabardasti ka" hiP-hOp except comedy. What do you guys think ? (95 points, 63 comments)
   8. KSHMR Album's another track (93 points, 12 comments)
   9. Honey Singh has definitely misused some artists good intent including Raftaar, Badshah and many more. Another one added in the list👇 (86 points, 38 comments)
   10. Final Artist added to Wireless Festival Lineup !!! (73 points, 19 comments)
10. 1668 points, 20 submissions: Ok-Tonight-8723
    
    1. Shah rule spiting bars infront of KRSONE (143 points, 8 comments)
    2. Live reaction of Machayenge 4 (118 points, 9 comments)
    3. RIP MC Todfod (107 points, 24 comments)
    4. Khale ke ladke ko bura lag gaya tha...i guess. (103 points, 26 comments)
    5. Mai to minor bhi nahi hu. (98 points, 109 comments)
    6. Divine miles ahead of everybody (90 points, 25 comments)
    7. Fall off love performance (89 points, 11 comments)
    8. Rohan Carriapa Supremacy (78 points, 9 comments)
    9. Raftaar on his way to Russia and Ukraine border with his diplomacy skill (77 points, 17 comments)
    10. Show love to the creator (76 points, 19 comments)
11. 1530 points, 9 submissions: stg_676
    
    1. Happy for him to achieve this in such short span of time!!! (403 points, 49 comments)
    2. Your take? (307 points, 56 comments)
    3. Someone in this sub said ki koi nahi gaya tha panther ke Kota live mein. (176 points, 40 comments)
    4. W?? (176 points, 42 comments)
    5. Upcoming Song from Yungsta's album (129 points, 21 comments)
    6. seedhe maut coke song to drop tomorrow. Woohoo!!!!! (110 points, 15 comments)
    7. Your opinions?? (98 points, 55 comments)
    8. Song from Yungsta's upcoming album (67 points, 3 comments)
    9. Would you guys attend my concert?? (64 points, 57 comments)
12. 1362 points, 9 submissions: lolxdmekaisemaanlu
    
    1. STAN doing Netflix show-JAMTA₹A promo (326 points, 50 comments)
    2. youngest Indian to feature on Billboard (258 points, 47 comments)
    3. twitter pe trending ⛷️ (173 points, 34 comments)
    4. FUCK- (126 points, 79 comments)
    5. stan gained 300k+ followers in just 4 days 😶 (126 points, 39 comments)
    6. thoughts? (117 points, 58 comments)
    7. KSHMR × MC ST∆N ?! (96 points, 32 comments)
    8. Stan crossed a mill on Spotify. (76 points, 12 comments)
    9. Top Albums Debut "Global" (64 points, 17 comments)
13. 1352 points, 1 submission: dollarsign1time
    
    1. I’m KR$NA and I’ve kept it a hundred all my life. AMA. (1352 points, 349 comments)
14. 1302 points, 6 submissions: SaintedTainted
    
    1. Mc Stan Officially the winner of biggboss 16! W dhh! (812 points, 387 comments)
    2. KR$NA - No Cap (Live) (160 points, 10 comments)
    3. SAMAY RAINA - KOHINOOR (Parody) (88 points, 32 comments)
    4. RAJA KUMARI - ON FT. KR$NA (87 points, 65 comments)
    5. Seedhe Maut x Sez on the Beat - 'Anaadi' (Music Video) (80 points, 38 comments)
    6. Shah Rule - United by Drip (75 points, 3 comments)
15. 1225 points, 4 submissions: Amu_1310
    
    1. Raftaar on Instagram: "Woke up, heard Cole and did this." (547 points, 46 comments)
    2. Raftaar's tweet from 2016. This was 2 years before Emiway dissed him. (294 points, 27 comments)
    3. Raftaar on Facebook. 2013. (240 points, 14 comments)
    4. Super Mario- Hanumankind. (144 points, 14 comments)
16. 1164 points, 7 submissions: Puzzleheaded-Act-10
    
    1. Two Tone extended version coming soon ft. Talhah Yunus (293 points, 27 comments)
    2. Chorni - Divine ft. Sidhu Moosewala (Dropping Soon) (232 points, 21 comments)
    3. Still going on! Reply from Rohan. (215 points, 66 comments)
    4. Something good cooking (158 points, 20 comments)
    5. Two Tone Extended Version coming tonight (117 points, 14 comments)
    6. Next Album track. (78 points, 22 comments)
    7. Isn't the price on the higher side. What do you guys think? (71 points, 78 comments)
17. 1114 points, 5 submissions: thanosbutthicc
    
    1. MC Stan new song snippet from ig live‼️ (671 points, 128 comments)
    2. Raftaar new drop date and time announced! (179 points, 49 comments)
    3. Ye NBD kya hai yaar? No big deal? (103 points, 43 comments)
    4. What do y’all think this means? Via Seedhe maut ig story (88 points, 54 comments)
    5. Shlovij- Arjun Vishad (73 points, 22 comments)
18. 1097 points, 6 submissions: 9ighteye
    
    1. ig_story: here's how QK demands votes for hustle (280 points, 181 comments)
    2. damn (229 points, 26 comments)
    3. azooz keeps improving damn (176 points, 21 comments)
    4. Let's go Nayaab (146 points, 32 comments)
    5. violens of violence was a track by necro (140 points, 23 comments)
    6. why? (126 points, 33 comments)
19. 1075 points, 5 submissions: adolf-dumblewhore
    
    1. Iconic photos of Desi hip-hop. (455 points, 124 comments)
    2. Talha Anjum - Open Letter (299 points, 291 comments)
    3. Black or White? (135 points, 109 comments)
    4. Indianhiphopheads now has 69k members 😝 (96 points, 62 comments)
    5. Artist Introduction - Ahmer (90 points, 32 comments)
20. 1063 points, 7 submissions: Cyranizzyyy
    
    1. Kshmr x Raftaar - Unreleased track (253 points, 61 comments)
    2. Update on KSHMR'S DHH Album (220 points, 22 comments)
    3. KSHMR talking about the tracks with MCstan and Kr$na (185 points, 18 comments)
    4. Kardo comment ! (152 points, 55 comments)
    5. Joyner Lucas - Devil's Work 2( S/O to SIDHU MOOSE WALA ) (120 points, 22 comments)
    6. KSHMR's upcoming hip-hop album will be released in the beginning of 2023 . Also he will be teasing some tracks on his show on 10th Dec in Mumbai (68 points, 4 comments)
    7. Kshmr x Hanumankind x Yashraj (65 points, 1 comment)
21. 948 points, 5 submissions: CaterpillarFinal2451
    
    1. TB to when Bala brought Rishu on the mic 🤝🏾🔥🔥. Wushang Live scenes 🤑 (357 points, 25 comments)
    2. PHO Music is the next wave of insane female artists in the scene. Her Live performances are really worth attending (243 points, 42 comments)
    3. Scenes from foooosieee gang gig 🤑Bala and Bhappa killed it 🤝🔥🫡 (147 points, 24 comments)
    4. MEEN is a straight up banger album and gonna go as a DHH all time classic. (133 points, 22 comments)
    5. Snippet of E.M.F vs Siyahi (Spitdope - 18.03.2023) (68 points, 19 comments)
22. 937 points, 8 submissions: RandomRandomrhymes
    
    1. Mumbai se Karachi (Credits : EminemChacha) (225 points, 18 comments)
    2. I checked, she is right. But what the reason is behind Bella not getting in the Spotify playlists? (191 points, 36 comments)
    3. Post links of rare videos of rappers freestyling/rapping ? (128 points, 12 comments)
    4. Uncle's Monthly Abhi main Zinda hun update : October (95 points, 12 comments)
    5. Divine and Young Stunners will perform on the same show! (91 points, 20 comments)
    6. Yunus is a beast : Performing Besabar + Aazma Le verse on Ye Duniya's beat live (82 points, 11 comments)
    7. Predicting what will happen next in Emiway Bantai vs Krsna (64 points, 41 comments)
    8. Before saying Krsna gave shots again first, Emiway never stopped, he starts his shows with dollar burning and KR Loda sign. (61 points, 38 comments)

Top Commenters

1. Interesting-Force347 (5831 points, 348 comments)
2. dollarsign1time (4732 points, 19 comments)
3. Big_a_zoid11 (4360 points, 383 comments)
4. 9ighteye (3601 points, 361 comments)
5. NH_hostel (3533 points, 247 comments)
6. astrollogger (3533 points, 122 comments)
7. adolf-dumblewhore (3500 points, 150 comments)
8. rewanshh (3453 points, 195 comments)
9. shutupmatsuda (3026 points, 269 comments)
10. Noeljino (2805 points, 238 comments)
11. No_Preparation9143 (2803 points, 222 comments)
12. ADITYA290804 (2367 points, 277 comments)
13. JODDUNMOIST (2338 points, 150 comments)
14. GlassEast5641 (2198 points, 194 comments)
15. Accomplished-Ad-6007 (2094 points, 155 comments)
16. DenkDawer (2087 points, 96 comments)
17. M_A_G_M_A (1858 points, 150 comments)
18. belikepac (1853 points, 84 comments)
19. Superb-Barracuda-924 (1852 points, 221 comments)
20. stg_676 (1817 points, 167 comments)
21. Industry-Beautiful (1811 points, 227 comments)
22. GantaiREAPER (1792 points, 97 comments)
23. Electrical-Spare-973 (1779 points, 90 comments)
24. TheKingAlchemist (1771 points, 158 comments)
25. mohdsureshsinghdcruz (1739 points, 170 comments)
26. chicku_chacha (1722 points, 147 comments)
27. Ok-Tonight-8723 (1705 points, 286 comments)
28. ChutiyaChutney420 (1683 points, 111 comments)
29. Famous_Amphibian2385 (1638 points, 192 comments)
30. thanosbutthicc (1611 points, 104 comments)
31. Impressive_Camera173 (1551 points, 92 comments)
32. couchfrenchfry (1527 points, 106 comments)
33. anotherKM7124 (1527 points, 99 comments)
34. ShadowLegend444 (1450 points, 160 comments)
35. frikuser (1444 points, 168 comments)
36. SAYmyNAME041 (1413 points, 70 comments)
37. tsumyoki (1353 points, 63 comments)
38. Basic-Biscotti-3915 (1260 points, 97 comments)
39. anujmaral12 (1234 points, 58 comments)
40. pawan270319999 (1233 points, 106 comments)
41. lujolka (1199 points, 136 comments)
42. ajaysassoc (1196 points, 95 comments)
43. ken_kaneki07 (1158 points, 118 comments)
44. Even_Positive_756 (1158 points, 51 comments)
45. shades09 (1144 points, 146 comments)
46. en1_gma (1140 points, 83 comments)
47. CheckQuick (1129 points, 159 comments)
48. Adventurous-Guava981 (1118 points, 103 comments)
49. InstructionHot9577 (1117 points, 103 comments)
50. Manisheesh (1110 points, 67 comments)
51. dedlife18 (1100 points, 135 comments)
52. obscure-reality (1095 points, 202 comments)
53. SnooWoofers455 (1083 points, 78 comments)
54. insignificantt (1074 points, 129 comments)
55. That_Soil6113 (1053 points, 101 comments)
56. akshroom (1049 points, 63 comments)
57. px1618 (1046 points, 73 comments)
58. GaneshRasal (1038 points, 295 comments)
59. WADE_- (1031 points, 83 comments)
60. Responsible-Shop-700 (995 points, 61 comments)
61. Salt_Instruction_555 (972 points, 80 comments)
62. MrKayPavlov (952 points, 90 comments)
63. bucck2929 (939 points, 83 comments)
64. The_singularity_1173 (938 points, 96 comments)
65. No_Raspberry_9514 (918 points, 23 comments)
66. GodKodse (903 points, 81 comments)
67. Exotic_Phone2651 (900 points, 57 comments)
68. lolxdmekaisemaanlu (892 points, 105 comments)
69. Due-Pianist-8135 (881 points, 81 comments)
70. Known_Assumption_383 (871 points, 78 comments)
71. Express-Experience71 (859 points, 163 comments)
72. Bitter_Piece3943 (857 points, 53 comments)
73. aryan_gami (842 points, 89 comments)
74. Andhainsaan (829 points, 51 comments)
75. Lamb_Shiftquantum (822 points, 47 comments)
76. RichieSmellsNice (814 points, 76 comments)
77. Vineet-88 (812 points, 50 comments)
78. Weeblyweird (799 points, 165 comments)
79. Yungstahiphop (798 points, 68 comments)
80. Guilty_Surprise5534 (798 points, 41 comments)
81. Yashraj_28 (795 points, 35 comments)
82. NAMO_Rapper_Is_Back (792 points, 113 comments)
83. frizzled_sm (789 points, 52 comments)
84. MasterpieceUnlikely (788 points, 157 comments)
85. WarmRelationship8483 (787 points, 64 comments)
86. tangrikebab (786 points, 57 comments)
87. Cyranizzyyy (781 points, 135 comments)
88. JNJ1105 (780 points, 51 comments)
89. Puneet_7164 (778 points, 46 comments)
90. doja_cataract (777 points, 97 comments)
91. Final-Sample- (770 points, 37 comments)
92. okk_123 (763 points, 78 comments)
93. Pale_Beautiful75 (762 points, 54 comments)
94. slashinghunter45 (758 points, 84 comments)
95. Thatdesibro (756 points, 64 comments)
96. buildingpanther (743 points, 33 comments)
97. noob_coder696969 (733 points, 119 comments)
98. garvitsbhati (733 points, 39 comments)
99. jim-jam-biscuit (730 points, 69 comments)
100. Gandi_Aulaad (727 points, 112 comments)
101. Prabhdeepmusic (727 points, 23 comments)
102. r0cks33n9915 (724 points, 68 comments)
103. theAppleboy (722 points, 73 comments)
104. Bhel- (722 points, 41 comments)
105. s0md3v (717 points, 20 comments)
106. Shot-Witness2132 (703 points, 88 comments)
107. Metal-Banana-72 (698 points, 58 comments)
108. DankKid2410 (697 points, 37 comments)
109. Unbiased-_- (696 points, 50 comments)
110. oichu (694 points, 81 comments)
111. SiriusBhund (660 points, 104 comments)
112. Loan-Fast (652 points, 53 comments)
113. Additional-Peak-1755 (650 points, 52 comments)
114. PrettyIntrovertMe (646 points, 30 comments)
115. io866 (644 points, 29 comments)
116. adilreyaz_award (640 points, 32 comments)
117. harshwardhannnn (632 points, 47 comments)
118. Lost-Vermicelli-4840 (628 points, 50 comments)
119. LordJ92 (628 points, 46 comments)
120. theIYD_ (614 points, 57 comments)
121. ek_aur_insaan (613 points, 89 comments)
122. Ambitious_Tough_4219 (596 points, 35 comments)
123. Ok_Proposal_9149 (595 points, 19 comments)
124. Suspicious_Ad_1185 (586 points, 73 comments)
125. DaKeiser (584 points, 49 comments)
126. Grizzlyrang (575 points, 115 comments)
127. hedwig03 (570 points, 43 comments)
128. Skipper1010 (569 points, 57 comments)
129. yaaasiiir007 (560 points, 53 comments)
130. puwali_of_dp (560 points, 35 comments)
131. MajdoorHaqSe (552 points, 24 comments)
132. ShahRuleMusic (549 points, 28 comments)
133. tiryank7 (546 points, 42 comments)
134. Equal-Information749 (543 points, 108 comments)
135. Aggressive_Camel_394 (539 points, 44 comments)
136. nankusharma (538 points, 51 comments)
137. Far-Fondant-72 (536 points, 45 comments)
138. funny_acolyte (534 points, 77 comments)
139. surnaldo (520 points, 39 comments)
140. maemeguyy (519 points, 104 comments)
141. daimaou_sama (518 points, 58 comments)
142. sidd_007_ (517 points, 26 comments)
143. DMananK (516 points, 91 comments)
144. HeartNeither (509 points, 42 comments)
145. Rayyanmir (505 points, 54 comments)
146. flyZerach (500 points, 55 comments)
147. thesujithkumar (498 points, 50 comments)
148. EveryNameIsTaken142 (496 points, 57 comments)
149. goku_69420 (489 points, 78 comments)
150. lethal_7 (487 points, 44 comments)
151. ppllqq (484 points, 23 comments)
152. dreamermanm (479 points, 22 comments)
153. Actual_Employment_89 (476 points, 48 comments)
154. DocDiffer (469 points, 66 comments)
155. Xx_PussySlayer030_xX (469 points, 58 comments)
156. Vast-Professional-82 (464 points, 23 comments)
157. ks00347 (460 points, 56 comments)
158. RemarkableRooster301 (460 points, 43 comments)
159. THEBOYINDOUBT (458 points, 17 comments)
160. Embarrassed_Inside_7 (457 points, 72 comments)
161. Avinash_Paryani (456 points, 51 comments)
162. Nishant_Dave (456 points, 29 comments)
163. spacemonkey___ (456 points, 18 comments)
164. spharaoh1 (454 points, 81 comments)
165. Hungry-Grocery-2646 (449 points, 54 comments)
166. REALISMONPEAK (444 points, 52 comments)
167. ahmerkmr (442 points, 39 comments)
168. Trick-Bodybuilder487 (442 points, 28 comments)
169. Beginning-Kick1946 (439 points, 54 comments)
170. eliotok09 (437 points, 24 comments)
171. sir_charge_ (435 points, 62 comments)
172. sezonthebeat (428 points, 13 comments)
173. aneesh131999 (423 points, 35 comments)
174. FlakeVordin (420 points, 44 comments)
175. DAWGJI (419 points, 83 comments)
176. Bhutiya_Memer (419 points, 61 comments)
177. devil_senpai_ (418 points, 46 comments)
178. Your-Fat-Mother (416 points, 48 comments)
179. noobbodyjourney (414 points, 51 comments)
180. PuzzleheadedCan4466 (412 points, 20 comments)
181. Adorable_Set7546 (411 points, 43 comments)
182. itsDRVforreal (411 points, 27 comments)
183. anotherFatDeveloper (408 points, 52 comments)
184. MasalaBoi (402 points, 54 comments)
185. DontKillUncleBen (402 points, 30 comments)
186. onredditforsometits (401 points, 42 comments)
187. itzSKIT (399 points, 40 comments)
188. Patient-Pride6024 (398 points, 27 comments)
189. mostylesuk (398 points, 11 comments)
190. NasEscobar_1994 (396 points, 29 comments)
191. noteprocupes (392 points, 63 comments)
192. theRealMadridGuy (391 points, 36 comments)
193. BlaBlaMukul (390 points, 46 comments)
194. comic_tak (390 points, 38 comments)
195. OGxSaitama (389 points, 25 comments)
196. bronzegods (386 points, 43 comments)
197. Stunning-Structure-5 (386 points, 21 comments)
198. ankubhagat (386 points, 6 comments)
199. BigBlrrDShiesty (384 points, 83 comments)
200. jaiyaxh (384 points, 45 comments)
201. SaintedTainted (381 points, 47 comments)
202. Junior_Astronomer_52 (381 points, 40 comments)
203. No_Boat_3622 (381 points, 39 comments)
204. Dense_Ad9824 (380 points, 34 comments)
205. yourdaddyaditya (379 points, 82 comments)
206. MoneySkin (379 points, 29 comments)
207. Ok_Editor4792 (378 points, 44 comments)
208. Mudroid_slays (378 points, 20 comments)
209. DramaticNewspaper515 (377 points, 37 comments)
210. No-Excitement9065 (377 points, 17 comments)
211. Harsha_Bhosde (372 points, 15 comments)
212. theycallmemadman_ (371 points, 27 comments)
213. MilkImpossible7022 (370 points, 24 comments)
214. Puzzleheaded-Act-10 (370 points, 22 comments)
215. dexter2503 (367 points, 64 comments)
216. jaaaduuu (367 points, 45 comments)
217. Rishab_Roy (367 points, 40 comments)
218. lovi_sh (365 points, 34 comments)
219. The-Volumee (362 points, 51 comments)
220. 2ded4u (362 points, 31 comments)
221. Agent47_hitman-43 (358 points, 36 comments)
222. HeavenShatteringGod (358 points, 34 comments)
223. Terrible_mushroom808 (357 points, 36 comments)
224. TempestAmit (355 points, 34 comments)
225. Tanish1308 (355 points, 25 comments)
226. lying_hips (354 points, 27 comments)
227. tushar_mahalya (351 points, 49 comments)
228. Mammoth_Attention_73 (351 points, 26 comments)
229. Logical-Highway2763 (349 points, 34 comments)
230. moit12345 (349 points, 33 comments)
231. Y0han_liebert (348 points, 29 comments)
232. talentlessdoomer (347 points, 21 comments)
233. Fresh_Aide_2436 (346 points, 41 comments)
234. BhargavK_18 (346 points, 28 comments)
235. aryaman03 (346 points, 22 comments)
236. Archiet_Tanwar (345 points, 63 comments)
237. International_Emu947 (341 points, 16 comments)
238. WhoimPS (339 points, 30 comments)
239. Lopsided-Data-2699 (333 points, 49 comments)
240. alex2093 (331 points, 23 comments)
241. ac_2424 (330 points, 30 comments)
242. narrendarmudiji (330 points, 22 comments)
243. No_Towel5111 (327 points, 44 comments)
244. muscularleanelephant (326 points, 72 comments)
245. Vegetable_Aside8351 (326 points, 18 comments)
246. abhaykhetan07 (324 points, 36 comments)
247. FantasticDesign5825 (323 points, 27 comments)
248. eyepatch_29 (323 points, 26 comments)
249. thatsnehguy (322 points, 4 comments)
250. kshmrmusic (322 points, 3 comments)
251. dark_king_2002 (321 points, 40 comments)
252. laststan01 (320 points, 28 comments)
253. aryaannnn (320 points, 25 comments)
254. AdPrestigious2587 (318 points, 49 comments)
255. mrbruh29600 (314 points, 37 comments)
256. Whole-Advance3133 (314 points, 27 comments)
257. PoundFront (313 points, 23 comments)
258. organic_mineral (313 points, 9 comments)
259. AnkitGargOP (312 points, 43 comments)
260. Maleficent-Alps3441 (312 points, 27 comments)
261. AviCstrike (311 points, 57 comments)
262. Blaze-2005 (310 points, 46 comments)
263. _Fuzzy_Focus (310 points, 43 comments)
264. Nerracui0 (310 points, 39 comments)
265. RandomRandomrhymes (310 points, 21 comments)
266. DrOjasRDeshapnde (310 points, 16 comments)
267. wellyesido (309 points, 35 comments)
268. deba2607 (308 points, 37 comments)
269. Famous-Duty9583 (308 points, 28 comments)
270. Lit_Extreme05 (307 points, 40 comments)
271. LazyZzzzzzz (307 points, 26 comments)
272. rittesh1234 (306 points, 36 comments)
273. NightAxeblad3 (305 points, 65 comments)
274. Im_Savvage (305 points, 45 comments)
275. Fuzzy-Woodpecker-673 (304 points, 8 comments)
276. No_Leopard_7000 (301 points, 36 comments)
277. KaranKanchan_music (301 points, 9 comments)
278. Xomet (298 points, 27 comments)
279. soumya6097 (297 points, 76 comments)
280. Xcrules_TheDaddy (297 points, 34 comments)
281. CulturalResort6 (296 points, 61 comments)
282. Aarav_Parmar (296 points, 56 comments)
283. KrishnaDube (296 points, 19 comments)
284. Square_Internal2989 (293 points, 28 comments)
285. CRAzY_praZ_204 (291 points, 21 comments)
286. AK010101 (291 points, 9 comments)
287. DeadKrish (290 points, 24 comments)
288. Decent_Avocado6139 (289 points, 19 comments)
289. Haunting-Muffin784 (288 points, 20 comments)
290. MlonEusk420 (287 points, 4 comments)
291. new_user090320 (285 points, 13 comments)
292. ___sohammmm (282 points, 21 comments)
293. Sure_Good_3807 (282 points, 20 comments)
294. movie_freak69 (279 points, 54 comments)
295. GardenPlenty3627 (279 points, 45 comments)
296. _im_adi (279 points, 30 comments)
297. KabKaregiShaadi (278 points, 57 comments)
298. No_Introduction_2021 (278 points, 57 comments)
299. venix124 (276 points, 48 comments)
300. PARTH-BHARDWAJ (276 points, 30 comments)

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1. Bajrang dal cancelled mc stan's Indore show by TempestAmit (2182 points, 597 comments)
2. Straight talk ! Even HoneySingh was surprised by HarpyRox (1771 points, 134 comments)
3. I’m KR$NA and I’ve kept it a hundred all my life. AMA. by dollarsign1time (1352 points, 349 comments)
4. Mc Stan Officially the winner of biggboss 16! W dhh! by SaintedTainted (812 points, 387 comments)
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6. emiway bantai, badshah, raftaar and more. by No_Towel5111 (690 points, 80 comments)
7. MC Stan new song snippet from ig live‼️ by thanosbutthicc (671 points, 128 comments)
8. I'm just speechless broo by GreenCucumber1677 (659 points, 148 comments)
9. Hot take : MC Stan’s ground level impact is the same as once Honey Singh used to have. by Rayyanmir (568 points, 185 comments)
10. Raftaar on Instagram: "Woke up, heard Cole and did this." by Amu_1310 (547 points, 46 comments)

Top Comments

1. 618 points: dollarsign1time's comment in Thank you KR$NA, Thank you Talha Anjum
2. 564 points: dollarsign1time's comment in I’m KR$NA and I’ve kept it a hundred all my life. AMA.
3. 508 points: dollarsign1time's comment in I’m KR$NA and I’ve kept it a hundred all my life. AMA.
4. 502 points: dollarsign1time's comment in I’m KR$NA and I’ve kept it a hundred all my life. AMA.
5. 320 points: adolf-dumblewhore's comment in Bajrang dal cancelled mc stan's Indore show
6. 302 points: dollarsign1time's comment in I’m KR$NA and I’ve kept it a hundred all my life. AMA.
7. 274 points: Trick-Bodybuilder487's comment in stan performed for Sania Mirza farewell
8. 264 points: sir_charge_'s comment in Straight talk ! Even HoneySingh was surprised
9. 263 points: TempestAmit's comment in Bajrang dal cancelled mc stan's Indore show
10. 257 points: ken_kaneki07's comment in Haan emiway bhai maan liya ki aap jeet gye...ab bas kar jao plzz 🙂🙏

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I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full [R-word censored by jobs] to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

Anybody in the Chicago area aware of any bars/restaurants near Wrigley Field that will be doing any sort of events prior to the show? We'll be flying in from Florida for the concert and were looking for a place to pre-game beforehand. We were hoping to find some sort of ticketed/wristband event that we could book ahead of time to have access to instead of fighting crazy crowds. Any suggestions of places to hang or any events the morning of? Thanks!

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

I know quitting your job as a cook usually simply comes with two weeks notice or a ragequit walkout, but for eleven months I worked at a new franchise that had such potential which was being squandered by the incompetence of upper management. I present the nearly 6000 word thesis I turned in on my last day. Locations and names have been changed to cartoon references. Brackets represent ambiguous information in place of specific details.
Krusty Krab Careers Jobs
Opening in [Month/Year], Krusty Krab (KK) Bikini Bottom is on its 4th kitchen manager in less than a year. Krusty Krab O-Town has recently let go its inaugural kitchen manager and sous chef. Almost no member of the Bikini Bottom opening management team remains employed by KK. There is a pattern developing where one must question both the choice of employee and the directive given to new franchises. These lingering issues I brought concerns about in the first weeks of opening but was disregarded at every turn despite my experience with festival traffic. As a result I decided this was not a place I wanted to advance, but with a good-enough paycheck I’d be a lowly grunt in the kitchen four days a week, at five days a week I would have quit or been fired over a public outburst long ago. If Krusty Krab alters course slightly while being true to the brand this could be a successful chain.
My unique employment history in brick and mortar restaurants, food trucks, pop up culinary concepts, trade shows/conventions, and the film industry make me an ideal candidate to be on the opening team for new KK locations. My outgoing nature and foresight are valuable assets. For example, on training week before opening when I was standing around idly without a task I took it upon myself to organize the disarray that was dry storage. Overhearing Krabs tell another manager where he wanted the cleaning products placed, I had a jumping off point and the organization I created nine months ago is still largely in place. Since returning from my vacation in early February I have made it my mission to keep the storage area organized because it was again starting to resemble a hoarder’s house rather than a commercial kitchen. This is now part of my weekly routines because every time I turn my back there is more product being placed haphazardly just anywhere with little regard. I also recently reorganized the walk-in cooler because of problematic stocking with items being placed on the same shelf or below raw proteins. I also simply put all the like products together such as cheeses or fruits that were scattered amongst several shelves. With recent overordering I cannot keep up with the organization of the walk in cooler. The pattern recognition of food types and even simple shapes appears to be lost on the Bikini Bottom crew. My daily reorganization of containers is proof of this. Most days I’ll take a few minutes to put all cylinders together, all cambros together in descending volume, all deep and shallow pans next to each other rather than intermixed. My decision to be a kitchen manager at age 19 from 2005 thru 2008 and rarely enter restaurant management since is very calculated.
With my prior knowledge of professional kitchens I was becoming Bikini Bottom’s resident nag to coworkers as I made note of health department violations on a daily basis. I stopped after being largely ignored for two weeks. My regular health department nags include; a battle with jackets and hats being placed only in the designated area (a designated area that did not exist until I created a place for personal items a in January by neatly organizing the dry storage area again), waiting until prepped items are cooled before a cover is placed on top, placement of raw seafood, open containers (very often sugar, flour, and pancake mix bags ripped open and left), and dirty dishes/containers placed back in rotation. The dirty dishes and containers in rotation with the clean ones are at an atrociously high number. I have given up on making the 4th fryer seafood allergy safe too. With the low volume of seafood allergy safe items Bikini Bottom should purchase smaller baskets to visually discourage cross contamination with the other fryers and baskets. My skills to organize the kitchen do not end with simply where to store products to meet minimal health department standards.
Half of the space in the Bikini Bottom kitchen is completely wasted on an ill-advised walkway to the dishpit. An intelligent design would place a second doorway directly to the dishpit connected to the bar or where the bathrooms reside. Numerous times during the opening week of KK Bikini Bottom I said, yelled, sang, and muttered that we have too many food items for the amount of space we have. Icus stated that there was more space than Bluffington. Is Bluffington intelligently designed? Because Bikini Bottom most certainly isn’t. So Bikini Bottom actually has less space even if there is more square footage. See the attached diagram for an intelligent design that could potentially house a menu of this size. Bikini Bottom forces a line design on this kitchen when an open concept is needed for this menu. It’s as if this floorplan was created by a person who had only ever seen one commercial kitchen previously and couldn’t think 4th dimensionally to understand the needs of the workers to smoothly serve customers.
There is not enough counter space for pizzas without getting off the line, the microwave is placed completely out of the way, the freezer’s curved design is a waste of potential counter space and a falling hazard for containers stored on top of it, the toaster is an overcomplicated and overexpensive piece of machinery that serves exactly one purpose when a flat top could be used to toast bread and other purposes like a quesadilla special, sautee was designed without an overhang for spices, the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter for seafood allergies, there are no Frialator fryers which I have worked with at every single kitchen job previously instead we got the cheap Vulcan model (is that logical), the cheap low boy in pantry that doesn’t drain excess water anywhere it’s just supposed to evaporate somehow but doesn’t, the grill and fryer should be placed next to each other (with a higher volume of crossover than other stations), the floors are flat instead on having a mild decline towards the drains (just look at the standing water residing behind the oven right now), in the dishpit the spraying area and the filled sinks are backwards of a logical dipshit, the ramp to the back door is on the wrong side, there is no refrigerated place downstairs to stage extra food for busy shifts (the beer cooler is once again used for such food items because of this massive oversight), the prep station is an afterthought and miniscule, the dishes on the line are difficult to grab for anyone under 5’11” and inaccessible for anyone under 5’6” (instead of putting them underneath tables that also give that desperately needed counterspace I spoke of), there is not enough space to store to-go containers or boats behind the line, expo is lacking a low boy for the numerous items that are supposed to be cold but are instead kept at room temperature all day long, no one in management thought about buying shelves until right before Bikini Bottom opened as a result the clean full sheets sat on the floor for days, we had only the exact amount of 1⁄6 pans for an absurd amount of time making it impossible to rotate and clean them when necessary (which is daily), we still struggle with 1/9 pan supply. And just when I thought I documented all the poor design choices possible I stumbled upon a person whose office holiday party was booked at KK Bikini Bottom. The deck space works just fine as a deck. It does not double well as a gathering space. The space is too long and narrow for parties, it promotes little splitoff groups rather than a coming together of a larger gathering. It may be advantageous to contact a social psychologist for help designing a private party space that promotes intermingling rather than enforcing small pockets to form. The reorganization of the physical kitchen isn’t all that screams for an overhaul.
There are six positions on the line at the Krusty Krab; expo, oven, grill, sautee, fryer, and pantry. But the pantry and fryer positions are forced together like a bad remix. Everyone who mainly works pantry deserves a $6 raise immediately because it is a station and a half. Both Icus and Krumm, while kitchen manager, kind of acknowledged the pantry is too big for one station without outright mentioning the lopsided distribution of work. I imagine in the only location where this works, Bluffington, a second person joins the pantry at noon because of the unreasonable amount of items one person is tasked with. Bikini Bottom only has one person in this position at all times, maybe modify it for one person? The excess of items on the pantry position largely resembles a position I would call “set-up” or “build” at a previous job that made sensible choices. This build position should have tostadas, tacos, butcher’s blocks, toast, salads, lettuce wrap set ups, and preparing plating for whichever station is most bogged down. I have absolutely lost my mind yelling about salads at least once a month, ranting that they do not belong on the fryer position because of how illogical it is that five salads are included on the mountain of other items the pantry has. I have always considered working in a kitchen a kind of dance, and the pantry station demands an unnecessarily convoluted dance to keep up with the demand. Without the salads, tostadas, and tacos the station is already the busiest. Do we really need to combine ballet and swing by including these extra awkward dance steps in this single station? For a kitchen designed this poorly I suppose it is. Again, see attached document for an intelligently designed kitchen that might be able to accommodate this menu. Unless Bikini Bottom is going to close for a month to fix the baffling floor plan design the menu is shouting to be reduced to 30-36 items.
The menu is too big. Krusty Krab is the jack of all foods, master of none. In general I believe individual locations should be allowed 18% omissions, and 18% unique items to this wildly unwieldy menu sitting around 50 food items including sides. The insistence on keeping menu items that don’t sell at Bikini Bottom because of Bluffington is mind boggling. Chicken tenders do not sell at Bikini Bottom. fried sushi does not sell at Bikini Bottom, not enough to justify their place on the line. I don’t care how well these items work in Bluffinton. They. Do. Not. Work. At. Bikini. Bottom. If the KK location in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean sells an incredible amount of live krill does that mean Bikini Bottom and O-Town must sell live krill too? Take the fried sushi off the menu. I had a complete meltdown about this during a Dimmadome service and my valid point was met with indifference. Replace the kid’s tenders with a kid’s fish sticks. We already have the tilapia fish sticks on the line for tacos. Or make the kid’s fish sticks cod. We cut cod to order for fish tacos in spite of health code violations because it is too rare of an order to make beforehand. Saffron in mashed potatoes? If you must. Why are green tomatoes only on the menu during lunch? Bikini Bottom throws away a sizable amount of spoiled green tomatoes each week. Have green tomatoes on the menu all day long or don’t have them at all. The smoked salmon could go on salads or a special taco to justify its place on the line. The corn pico’s place on the line is unjustified. It only goes on one item, tostadas, which are not particularly popular. If we had a taco salad we could throw the corn pico on there. We also have unreasonable waste from unusable taco shells, smash up those imperfect taco shells and throw them on said taco salad. But before we add salads, let's get rid of the pear and kale salads. The pears' position on the line are unjustified, if we threw them on a taco variation maybe their place on the Bikini Bottom line could be argued but for now they only go on a salad that isn’t particularly popular. The kale salad is an issue of space for a 4th green for salads is too much. The krusty salad is my most hated house salad of all time. And it comes down to the toast with goat cheese. This ancillary step of spreading goat cheese on a cracker is an unnecessary step for an overly complicated dance and should be part of the expo dance if expo wasn’t a shoddily designed afterthought lacking a low boy.
There are a plethora of squeeze bottles on the pantry station that have no place on the overloaded station. They belong to an expo station with a low boy to keep them cold. Pantry has an overwhelming ten squeeze bottles: chipotle crema, sweet chili vinaigrette, buffalo, korean bbq, ranch, caesar, wine vinaigrette, lemon vinaigrette, honey mustard, and lemon aioli. Only the first four are justified on an intelligently designed fryer section, the second four belong on the build station, the last two have no place anywhere but expo. With this extra space sautee could keep their bottles and two purees cold in the fryer's lowboy instead of leaving them at room temperature all day inviting a pathogen party. This theorized intelligently designed expo would have room to keep these four squeeze bottles and a double of every sauce chilled to pour them into ramekins, a move that is highly common in the expo dance. The fact that expo doesn’t have a double of all squeeze bottles is foolish. Expo has to bother an overloaded station to pour these side sauces instead.
How many gallons of basil aioli has Bikini Bottom thrown away in 11 months? Four aiolis in general is way too many and most go on a single item; basil aioli on the incredibly unpopular veggie burger, lemon aioli for calamari, sweet chili aioli for the BLT that is only served half of the day, and garlic aioli actually goes on two items…I believe. What a colossal waste of precious little space, lose two aiolis and then you can sing the logical song with me. Perhaps we can put garlic aioli and sweet chili vinaigrette on the BLT separately and accomplish the exact same thing the sweet chili aioli does. The wings too have unneeded complications. Having worked at a sports bar specializing in wings for the better part of a decade I find KK’s plating of wings to be overly pretentious. The carrots, celery, and blue cheese have lost function. Heffer Wolf always said no one eats the carrot/celery julienne with blue cheese. It’s a complete waste of all the ingredients because you’ve gone too far with the presentation. Wings aren’t fancy. Wings are supposed to have a small pool of sauce and be sloppy. It’s like a sloppy joe that’s not sloppy, an unsloppy joe is a failure to sloppy joes just as the KK presentation of wings is a disparagement to the dish. Ever since training week back in 2022 I have used a scale to give Bikini Bottom a passing or failing grade.
Chokey Chicken to Chum Bucket is the scale I use to judge efficiency and sanity at Bikini Bottom. Both establishments are upscale casual dining experiences in Capitol City in the same vein as KK. Chokey had high employee retention and relatively smooth openings for new locations. Chum Bucket’s employee turnover was high and every location opening was chaotic. Which one sounds closer to KK? Chokey Chicken was filled with chefs I respect including Chef Ren Hoek who remains a close friend to this day. Ren lost his lifelong passion for kitchen work after working management at Chum Bucket. He’s actually seeking work in Bikini Bottom. Call him up at [phone number], but KK will give him Nam’ flashbacks of why he chose driving for a living rather than cooking for five years. The pair of us together helming Bikini Bottom with the ability to omit and create 18% of the overloaded menu can bring success to this franchise. We have worked well numerous times in the past on various concepts in the past including creating The Attack of the Pickled Tomatoes Burger for [Promotional live performance of a TV show] at the Capitol City Theater. We served 100 people in 60 at the [sitcom filming] lunch. That’s physically impossible but somehow we did it quite a few times.
A fun anecdote about Ren Hoek’s KK experience from the soft launch; on training week numerous times I brought concerns about being seafood allergy safe that were dismissed. As mentioned earlier the pantry station lacks the counter space to have two containers of flour and two containers of batter, one each of which seafood never touches. Before the soft launch Chef Stimpy from Bluffington insisted all customers just kind of know everything is prone to be seafood contaminated. Well, chef Ren was a customer that night and this absolutely was not communicated to customers. He claimed to have a slight seafood allergy and was not informed of what the crab soup was. In reality he does not have a seafood allergy. I didn’t discuss the seafood issue with Ren, separately we noticed egregious violations of food safety standards and we each responded in our own way. The soft launch service was so awful that night Chef Ren walked out of a free meal to pay for some ramen, never to return to Bikini Bottom. I attribute this oversight, and many of Bikini Bottom’s (and probably O-Town’s) problems to hubris over the Bluffington location.
Chef Chokey would also be hesitant to join the KK team. It will cost a finder’s fee just for me to reveal Chef Chokey’s name. Chef Chokey was a lead in the rapid expansion of Chokey Chicken restaurants. He opened numerous restaurants and was big on the philosophy that each restaurant must have its own personality in order to fit the unique local culture and the variety of working spaces. This is in direct conflict with the KK way that everything must be exactly like the Bluffington location no matter what. There was only one Chokey Chicken location that had the full menu, Chokey Springfield. Chokey Springfield had a large space which was intelligently designed to accommodate such a large menu. The KK menu is all over the place, closing in on 50 menu items which comes up as a failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale. This is not the only area KK comes up as a major failure on the Chokey Chicken/Chum Bucket scale.
Has anyone in this company ever worked festival traffic before? Does anyone have the experience of working next to a major venue with 8000 seats before this one? The way Bikini Bottom handles Dimmadome services it certainly appears that the decision-makers fall on the wrong side of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Having all 50 items available during such massive traffic is completely asinine. An unwillingness to serve a partial menu is hindering the Bikini Bottom kitchen staff. I have worked festival traffic before, and Dimmadome events bring in festival traffic. I’ve worked inside a festival whose line never ended but every customer got their order in 5 minutes or less because the line kept flowing with only four items on the menu as that’s what was warranted at the B-Sharps Music Festival. I refuse to be set up for failure the way Bikini Bottom sets up Dimmadome services for failure. The entire week of concerts in [summer] 2022 I was set up for failure every day (it was after this I modified my availability to keep my sanity and my paycheck). When I brought my concerns about running efficiently during Dimmadome services I was labeled a B-worker for the first time in my employment history by Icus and Krabs. It is that moment which I was either going to holler at them both for being 2-dimensional thinkers who were obviously unqualified for the positions they accepted in this company, or just put my head down. If Bikini Bottom has a successful concert day service, hail your team because they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. They swam with concrete shoes. I often wonder how many customers had bad experiences and never returned after concert days. A Dimmadome service should have no more than 25 items and have one or two specials to divert traffic towards an area the kitchen can keep moving. An Open Cup Open Plate (OCOP) special for foot traffic is absolutely needed. When I suggested OCOP special, Heffer was intrigued by this idea and immediately named burgers as the special to keep foot traffic flowing. Smithers wouldn’t hear this idea, babbling on about what’s advertised instead of hearing out a sound idea. This prattle despite radio commercials having inaccurate hours and social media promoting Bikini Bottom’s steak tacos to this day. I always found Smithers to be a better fit as a middle management office pencil pusher than as a hands-on restaurant manager. Overall I find KK managers are selected to be automatons not to question their orders rather than critical thinkers who could take the restaurant to the next level. During brunch service is another period of time that must be modified to lessen the heft of items. Having a full menu that barely works plus brunch is so deep into Chum Bucket territory, in my opinion we now have to use the Tropic Thunder scale of full retard to describe a 60-plus-item brunch. Chef Ren hired back a Chum Bucket cook who had a mental breakdown and stormed out during brunch (plus full menu) service because Ren knew the employee was justified and upper management was completely unreasonable in their brunch requests. It’s not just questionable decisions that hinder KK staff but improper equipment as well.
This is the first restaurant I have worked at which uses a touch screen on the line rather than tickets. From day one I found this to be technology for technology’s sake inferior to tickets. Chef Ren forced a new Chum Bucket location to rip out touch screens from the line and bring in ticket printers because of the higher efficiency. The touch screen is a great idea for expo, not the entire line. My biggest gripe is that each station does not get all the information. Early on I was regularly yelled at for not staggering my items, well I can’t see the rest of the order; a problem I have never had with a ticket system. Touchscreen software is also much more prone to errors and glitches. When I reported an error during a heavy service Icus and Krabs blamed my skills on the line without looking into the malfunctioning screen further. It was glitchy for weeks before the two finally investigated and corrected the issue I brought to their attention long before. Those two gave me an immense amount of ammunition to dislike them in the opening weeks until I stopped caring. The issue I had with being unable to scroll beyond the bottom of a completely filled screen has returned and is still there as of [my last day]. There are also important details that get buried. A frequent meltdown I have is that sauce on side requests and other important modifications are not capitalized or in red to catch the eye as they have been at jobs with tickets. These details get lost on Bikini Bottom’s touchscreens. A sauce on side salad made by me will be wrong 50% of the time because of the instructions being camouflaged in a word salad. This goes for coleslaw on the side and drizzle on the side too. Drizzle in general I dislike because of the pretentiousness, but whatever, drizzle it on top rather than putting it in a ramekin if you must. There are numerous places where Bikini Bottom overcomplicates matters for reasons I cannot ascertain.
Why is there such a large variety of plates? Why do we have a medium circular plate for salads and a large bowl for salads with protein? This just confuses the simplest of matters. I was told this is done because of the high price hike with protein, a larger presentation was desired. But that price hike is the price of protein in 2023. Bikini Bottom should put all salads in the large bowls and use all the circular salad plates in a skeet shooting promotion. I understand why we have both a circular platter plate and a pizza plate but in my restaurant the circular platter plates must go...or maybe the large platter plate instead. Is the large platter used for anything besides fish and chips? That extra space on fish and chips plates are only used for side sauces which can easily be delivered to customers on small circular plates. What is the medium oval plate doing that the medium rectangular plate isn’t? And vice versa. Why do they both exist when they are approximately the same size? Let me write an internet commercial where we break a lot of plates so we can get some logical use out of the superfluous plates. I don’t care which one is destroyed, the ovals or the rectangles but one of them is an unnecessary redundancy in excess done again. Speaking of commercials, the unimaginative radio advertisements for Bikini Bottom are doing little to lure new customers to the restaurant.
The three radio spots I have heard on KBBL all sound like they were produced by a marketing 101 student who wasn’t a natural in the field. The voiceover actor was so uncharismatic I was certain someone from the office was chosen at random to read the copy. Then I heard that same voiceover actor selling pool supplies on another radio station so I concluded that Bikini Bottom must have hired the cheapest guy in town to produce the most basic of commercials. Perhaps there is someone else you could hire more qualified to voiceover these commercials, an actor with experience on an Emmy award winning cable program whose unique place in the film industry was written about on [website] would be a much wiser choice to be the voice of the KK? (See external link). In the ad there was no catchphrase, no jingle, no music whatsoever. This simple approach to commercials lacks the pizazz to catch the attention of radio listeners. The first two commercials I heard would get a C in marketing 101 as they were nearly the exact same and accomplished the bare minimum to sell wares, the third one would maybe get a B- because there was some sort of attempted gimmick with the voiceover whispering to represent thinking inside his head about what he was going to eat later at KK. Not only does this commercial give no reason for the man to think inside his head, the outside world still and unpopulated. To see what a creative person would do with this concept see the attached script. There is an attempted slogan that could become part of an ad campaign. Commercials aren’t the only lost opportunities in promotions.
There are numerous promotional celebrity tie-ins at Bikini Bottom’s fingertips with Dimmadome performers. The restaurant could have a Phish sandwich as a OCOP special on [Phish performance dates], or a pretentious Jelly Roll on [Jelly Roll performance date]. Has anyone reached out to the Dimmadome theater or talent management for approved special menu items to be promoted inside the dome? Perhaps a special 20% discount to ticket holders? Is Bikini Bottom capable of getting permits to extend Open Container hours beyond [cutoff time] for an afterparty or block party throughout a Dimmadome concert? I see additional marketing opportunities left on the table for all new locations.
I believe new KK locations are missing out on a marketing campaign by opening with the entire cumbersome 50 item menu. This is a staggering amount of menu items which is too much to ask new staffers to perfect all at once. After a few months expanding the menu by approximately ten items is catching to customers who haven’t returned after a single visit or infrequently stop into KK. There are ten new food items that might appeal to them. Just like it appears KK doesn’t know what it’s looking for in a good commercial spot, this company doesn’t appear to recognize a talented from an untalented worker until it’s too late.
It is my understanding that KK had a headhunter to find Icus, the first Bikini Bottom kitchen manager. If it were up to me I’d hire someone to break the legs of that headhunter for bringing in a subpar kitchen lead. We are still attempting to recover from the lousy choices she made in the floor plan. If anybody responsible for Bikini Bottom’s floor plan is still giving input, stop them immediately. Once the doors were open to the public Icus had his head in the clouds to a point where I questioned if he saw the writing on the walls of an imminent demotion and stopped trying as a result. I had a full deck of 3x5 cards in an archaic powerpoint presentation bringing numerous concerns to light that he kept putting off listening to until he was fired. Those same cards were broken out for this essay. The second kitchen manager, Krumm, is a good lesson in honesty. According to Heffer, Krumm was given a bill of goods about how smoothly KK Bikini Bottom was running. Since Krumm stepped into a latrine pit which he was led to believe was a heated pool, he left in short time. Krumm also had plans to modify the menu but when his bosses told him to be a rodeo clown rather than a cowboy Krumm didn’t take too kindly to that. Meanwhile Heffer was the savior of the Bikini Bottom kitchen. I didn’t agree with every single decision he made, but I did with a majority of them. Heffer’s overhaul was such a blessing so I didn’t have to fiddle with the organization of 60% of the equipment anymore, only about 20% now. Too bad Heffer’s crippling depression came back after bashing his head into the wall out of frustration with the shackles KK restrained him with.
The current management team is enthusiastic but inexperienced. I see an accumulation of small infractions that might bring down Bikini Bottom’s health department rating significantly. I see the entire management team being inattentive or unaware about organizational issues. Whatever bureaucratic nonsense corporate tasks everyone with from the original sous chef Skeeter to Patty Mayonnaise that makes them walk away from the line between 11am and 1pm especially is infuriating. I have never been left alone on a multi-person line during peak hours so regularly, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. As much as I believe in his drive, I imagine our current kitchen manager SpongeBob will be let go after a disastrous service during the Dimmadome concert season that someone has to take the fall for. Chef Ren and I could help bring experience in management and dealing with festival traffic...if corporate does not force us to follow a failing strategy.
After working nearly a year at KK you may ask why I’m not proficient on more than one station. Excellent question. First, when I move over to another station the squeeze bottles are never labeled (until Stu Pickles was hired, now they’re sometimes labeled), so I always looked at the glut of unlabeled sauces and I’d go back to my station because the basic information is missing (also a health department violation for having numerous unlabeled, unchilled bottles). In his first week the new general manager Stu Pickles pulled out 90% of the containers under the grill station because they were lacking labels despite an expected health department visit. The second reason for my menu ignorance is the mountain of prep for my own and upcoming shifts I have piled up on my station throughout service. My attention to detail appears to be next level with my ability to anticipate stocking all items for all shifts including the weeknd. The third reason I wouldn’t learn multiple stations is a defense against the afternoon conference calls. In [month] the Bikini Bottom line was unprepared for a busy post lunch because one cook was cut and our expo person was busy with a conference call. The two of us remaining on the line had a miserable slog through an unexpectedly busy afternoon. When I brought this up to Krabs he disregarded me, being a good bean counter he quoted the cost percentage. What he didn’t take into account was the missing expo person who could have jumped on the line and expo to help the understaffed two man team. That person was stuck on a conference call. Just recently I saw the company actively lose money because of this poorly thought-out meeting during business hours. A customer wanted to order a dessert that was 86ed but had been restocked by our prep cook an hour before. The server was unable to sell them their dessert because the only person in the building who could help un-86 an item was on a conference call. This conference call calamity is another bone-headed choice that speaks to a larger decision-making problem within the corporate structure. Finish the conference calls by 10:45 am eastern.
In conclusion, I quit my position as a lowly grunt for this company because of its unwarranted perplexing dance steps and below average management. I don’t care how much varnish and lacquer is supplied, I refuse to polish this Bikini Bottom turd as a manager or full-time employee under the current circumstances. You would have to take a pickaxe to the floor, possibly relocate the bathrooms to add a door to the dishpit, get rid of the cheap low boy that doesn’t properly drain excess water, and Mr Gorbachov knock down that wall in the middle of the kitchen to give the proper amount of space to work. Or simply reduce the menu to 36 items (including sides) because that’s the amount of space this dreadful design can comfortably output. Would Gordon Ramsay compliment KK for all the unnecessary convoluted complications abound, or would Chef Ramsay yell about keeping it simple and demand KK chuck it in the flip? Thanks to the numerous pop up restaurants I have been a part of and the hectic world of trade shows/conventions, I may have more experience than anyone else employed by KK in smoothly opening a new location. I would enjoy being part of the opening team to ensure new locations have an efficiency Bikini Bottom lacks, and to keep upper management away from their worst instincts. Work with me and Chef Ren and we will help you become a well oiled machine like Chokey Chicken instead of the Chum Bucket cesspit Bikini Bottom currently embodies.

Use this monthly thread for all your transactional needs. Feel free to post what you have and what you want for any show date, not just shows taking place this month.
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BUYING TICKETS
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• IF YOU ARE LOOKING TO BUY TICKETS, post the name of the show and the date in your comment.
• BUYER SAFETY- Report anything that seems fishy/scammy.
• If you are buying from someone on here please check out their post history. If they are a brand new account and they haven’t posted anything aside from a ticket sales comment chances are they are trying to scam someone. Obviously this isn’t always the case. But if I were buying a ticket I’d feel more comfortable buying from someone who has been active on here for a while.
• I would highly advise against paying with Venmo, CashApp, wire transfer, etc.
• If you pay with PayPal make sure you pay as goods/services NOT as a gift.
• REMOVE YOUR COMMENT AFTER YOU HAVE BOUGHT TICKETS!
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SELLING TICKETS
If you have tickets that you are looking to exchange or sell for FACE VALUE, do it here. Please read the following rules before posting:
• DO NOT SELL TICKETS OVER FACE VALUE – This is against ChicagoConcerts rules, convictions, philosophy, morals. We’re about the music… man. See Craigslist or StubHub if you’re trying to make some cash. You will be banned if caught selling above face. Please report any posts that are above face value!
• DON’T POST YOUR PERSONAL INFO - Please don’t add your phone number or email in this thread, if you end up getting a buyeseller send all that info through DM’s. This is only to protect you and is a site-wide rule!
• REMOVE YOUR COMMENT WHEN YOU’VE SOLD OR TRADED!
• Everyone always talks about being scammed while buying a ticket, but you can also be scammed while selling a ticket. It doesn’t happen as often, but it’s still possible.
• Keep in mind that transactions on PayPal (maybe other platforms as well? I’ve heard stories about Venmo) can always be reported as fraudulent.
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We will do our best to keep this thread cleaned of scammers, but please realize all transactions are out of our control. Please be kind and be safe.

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ExpressVPN
Imagine you're trying to sprint a marathon on stilts - pretty inconvenient and unstable, right? Now swap those stilts with a pair of world-class running shoes, and suddenly you're Usain Bolt. That's precisely the upgrade ExpressVPN offers when you're trying to subscribe to Hulu or streaming in Ultra High Definition.
In a test of virtual athleticism, ExpressVPN's New York, Dallas, and Chicago servers gave a stunning performance. Clocking in at an average speed of 91 Mbps, they fell only a hair short of my prime 100 Mbps connection. It’s like running a race and placing a close second to a cheetah. Given that you need merely a humble 25 Mbps to stream in UHD, this VPN crosses the finish line with excessive energy to spare. Even when I indulged in a hair-raising episode of American Horror Story, buffering was a foreign concept.
In addition to its impressive speed, ExpressVPN offers a roster of 24 US locations, akin to a digital buffet of options for connecting to Hulu on your world travels. Even from the other side of the world (9,153 km away, to be exact), my New Jersey server stood like a steadfast guard, ensuring my connection remained unbroken.
What's more, ExpressVPN’s MediaStreamer acts as a secret decoder ring, enabling you to watch Hulu on devices that usually don't shake hands with VPNs. PlayStation, Xbox, or even that one smart TV you got at a Black Friday sale years ago; all can be brought into the fold. The setup process was quicker than making a microwave popcorn bag. Simply jot down a code from your ExpressVPN account dashboard, feed it into your smart TV’s network settings, and voila! I found myself catching up on Hulu shows on my antiquated Samsung Tizen TV with no hiccups.
While ExpressVPN might ask for a few more pennies than its fellow VPN services, the sheer performance justifies the price tag. It's like paying extra for a VIP concert ticket - you're assured of the best experience. And with a 30-day money-back guarantee, you can test drive it on Hulu, no strings attached. And if you decide it's not your cup of tea, their customer support is there to process your refund without quibble. They’re rather nice about it, really.
CyberGhostVPN
Picture CyberGhost as the highly competent butler of your digital mansion, ensuring a seamless Hulu streaming experience. This ace up the VPN sleeve not only provides fast and reliable connections but serves them with a silver platter specifically designed for Hulu. Imagine a world where buffering is as extinct as dial-up internet, all thanks to CyberGhost’s Hulu-optimized servers. I frolicked in this paradise while renewing my subscription using their Miami server.
Using CyberGhost's Hulu-optimized servers is like walking through an automatic door; it's a breeze. The interface is as user-friendly as a Labrador puppy. A simple peck on your keyboard typing "Hulu" in the search bar under the "For streaming" tab, and you're given a list of servers that are specially designed to work magic on Hulu. Better still, some of these servers have undergone a digital personal training regimen to optimize their performance for Fire Stick and Android TV specifically.
While CyberGhost may not be as predictably consistent as ExpressVPN, akin to a weather forecast, its connections still hold strong. Think of it like a relay race with the US, UK, and Australia servers, each passing the baton without letting the speed dip below an 82 Mbps average. I was treated to uninterrupted feasts of "Santa Evita" and "House of the Dragon" in Ultra High Definition, without so much as a single awkward pause or hiccup.
Private Internet Access
Imagine a scenario where you have a myriad of IP addresses at your disposal for streaming Hulu like a monarch, that's exactly what PIA offers. This VPN is a playground teeming with server options in the US, reducing your chances of being in the middle of an overcrowded digital mosh pit. Trust me, you'd prefer your own breathing room when renewing your Hulu subscription, which I did with as much ease as butter sliding off a hot knife. With such an extensive server network, you have a buffet of alternative routes should Hulu unexpectedly pull the roadblock on one.
What sets PIA apart from the crowd is its penchant for personalization. Think of it as the bespoke suit of VPN apps. This little wonder comes with an array of widgets that are as flexible as a yoga instructor, ready to twist and bend to suit your interface aesthetic. Additionally, it hands you the reins of encryption, allowing you to choose between the Fort Knox of security - the AES 256-bit encryption, or the slightly more fleet-footed but still quite secure AES 128-bit encryption.
Now, this plethora of customization options could be a bit like being lost in a tech version of Narnia for the newly initiated. It's a lot to take in. But give it a little time, a few exploratory clicks and swipes, and you'll find the app's interface becomes as familiar and easy to navigate as your favorite neighborhood bistro.
Five Secret Passages to Hulu Land Without a US Credit Card in 2023
Juggling through the nuances of signing up for Hulu, especially without a US credit card, can make your head spin faster than a hamster on a wheel. So let's pop the lid off Pandora's box and unveil the five undercover methods to bring Hulu to your fingertips.
Before you sprint into action, let's cross off a couple of quick checks:
Make sure to equip yourself with a VPN. Any VPN on my coveted shortlist should do the trick, but I would tilt my hat towards ExpressVPN. It zips along at breakneck speeds and boasts a generous offering of US servers to select from
Now you're in the right gear, but you need to be in the right place. As Hulu only pays house visits to those who reside in the US (virtually, of course), that's where you should connect.
With these quick checks done and dusted, you're ready to proceed. Brace yourself as we unveil the five secret scrolls to gain access to the tantalizing world of Hulu.
MyGiftCardSupply: Your Key to Unlock Hulu's Magic Box
A Hulu gift card from MyGiftCardSupply is your golden ticket to the land of unlimited entertainment.
Step 1: Buying a ticket. Venture into the online bazaar of MyGiftCardSupply, and procure a Hulu gift card ranging from $25 to $100. The amount depends on how deep you want to dive into the ocean of Hulu content. Be sure to sign up if you haven't already - think of it as a friendly handshake.
Step 2: Sniff out the code. Once the gift card purchase is complete, you'll receive an email with the precious code. Open it, and gently copy the code.
Step 3: Claim your prize. Stride confidently to Hulu's redemption page, type in your hard-earned code, and create your account. Do remember to use a US address and zip code when signing up – they are quite particular about that.
Step 4: Let the show begin. Slide into Hulu's log-in page and gently type in your shiny new credentials.
Step 5: The Grand Finale. Now it's time to sit back, relax, and bask in the glory of endless entertainment on Hulu. Step into your personal streaming universe and enjoy the show!
Hitching a Ride on iTunes US: Your Unconventional Route to Hulu
Now, let's stroll down a different route, this time, a path known as 'iTunes US.'
Step 1: Set up camp in the Land of Apple. Visit Apple's website and pitch your digital tent by creating a new account. Consider this your personal American outpost in the universe of iTunes.
Step 2: Stock up on provisions. Replenish your digital coffers either directly through iTunes or via a US iTunes gift card, which is akin to your secret stash of apple cider in the cellar.
Step 3: Summon Hulu. Type "Hulu" into the search bar and download the app. Much like calling a pet, it'll come running and install itself onto your device.
Step 4: Enter the realm of Hulu. Use your iTunes funds to either get a shiny new plan or renew an existing subscription, and then log into your Hulu account. This is you officially checking into the grand Hulu Hotel.
Step 5: Savour the spectacle. With all these steps complete, you're now in a position to pay for and enjoy your Hulu account. It's time to kick back and indulge in the smorgasbord of entertainment that Hulu has to offer.
Hopping onto the Hulu Train with a Prepaid US Card: A Thrifty Globetrotter's Guide
Let's now venture down a pragmatic avenue, namely the 'Prepaid US Card' route.
The first station is "Prepaid US Card Central". You'll need to navigate your way to VISA or MasterCard, where you can choose your ticket – the prepaid card.
Next, we arrive at "Funds Station". Here, you need to fuel up your prepaid card. This can be done directly or by transferring money from your bank account, given that your card of choice supports such cheery transfers.
Having acquired your ticket and made sure it's packed with funds, it's time to board the Hulu Express at the "Hulu Account Terminal". Here, you'll need to check-in, select a subscription plan, and jot down the necessary particulars.
We're almost there. The last stop before you start your entertainment journey is "Registration Point". Here, you pay for the service using your shiny new prepaid card. Now, if this doesn't work for some reason, perhaps the ticket machine is being obstinate, don't fret – just try the gift card method instead.
With the ticketing process complete, you're all set to start watching. It's time to sit back, kick off your shoes, and let the Hulu Express whisk you away into a world of non-stop entertainment, right outside of the USA.
PayPal Your Way to Hulu Paradise: A Modern Maverick's Approach
Welcome to the "PayPal method", a trail favored by modern mavericks, digital nomads, and online shopping aficionados.
Begin this journey by constructing your own digital finance fortress – a PayPal account. You'll need to swing by PayPal and ensure you're setting up a US account. Now, it's imperative that you get this right, because Hulu can be a bit snobbish when it comes to foreign PayPal accounts. If setting up a US PayPal account starts to feel like trying to lasso a greased pig, simply revert to our old reliable – the gift card method.
Having established your PayPal account, you're now ready for the next leg of the journey. Head on over to Hulu, strut your stuff, and log in using your credentials.
Next up, it's time to pay the piper... or rather, the subscription. If your account is a newborn, fresh out of the internet womb, you can also kick off a free trial.
With these steps accomplished, it's time to kick back and start watching. Dive headlong into the ocean of your favorite Hulu shows, and swim around in the thrill of it all.
StatesCard: Your Magic Carpet Ride to Hulu Bingeing
Behold, the wonders of StatesCard, the 21st-century magic carpet ride to the land of Hulu bingeing!
Your journey starts at the port of StatesCard, where you'll need to carve out your digital presence by clicking the "Sign Up" button. Having successfully become a part of the club, add a little bit of that digital money to make it official.
Your next stop is Hulu. Log in with your carefully crafted credentials or take a bold step and create a whole new identity for yourself (strictly on Hulu, of course).
Once settled in, it's time to pay the virtual ferryman. Use the card information you secured from your new friend, StatesCard, to pay for or renew your Hulu subscription. If you do this right, you'll have successfully purchased your ticket to endless entertainment.
Having accomplished these milestones, you're now fully armed and ready to embark on the Hulu adventure. Sit back, relax, and let the world of your favorite Hulu shows envelop you.

(See the Known Issues post for 0.21.5 here.)
Shared by TGC on all major communication. Check out their tweet here:

Good news, Sky kids! 📣
We have a new patch update for Sky:
🌈 Days of Color
🎵 Days of Music
✨ Other improvements
See the patch notes for more 📬 bit.ly/SkyPatch0215

Patch notes transcript:
Greetings, Adventurers! In our latest update, prepare to head into the remaining Season of Passage quests, plus two colorful and musical events. We also introduce a feature to make it easier to get new in-game currency items during events, a new way to create music, plus another round of bug fixes.

The Final Lessons of Season of Passage Lie Ahead

The second half of Season of Passage is here! The final Seasonal Quests approach, with new lessons awaiting. As you progress through the quests, don’t forget to check in with the Passage Guide in Isle of Dawn. Not only will you be able to receive hearts and unlock masks, you may even find a prop you can use to share a game of footbag with other players.
The lesson of each Seasonal Quest is best experienced when completed with groups of other players, but all of these passages can be completed independently if desired. Except for the first quest, all quests are held at set intervals every 15 minutes.
Be sure to unlock expressions and exchange Seasonal Candles for any cosmetics you want from the Seasonal Spirits before the Season ends at 23:59 on June 25th (all times PDT, UTC -7). Content can be enjoyed by all players who have progressed to at least Hidden Forest.
Players with a Season Pass will also have the opportunity to unlock all items from the Seasonal Spirits and the Ultimate Gifts available through the Season of Passage Guide.

Introducing Event Currency

As you may have read in our recent blog post, in this update we’re introducing event currencies, a new category of currency to make it easier to get new in-game currency (IGC) event cosmetics. The aim is to make it easier to unlock new IGC event items simply by playing most of an event, without feeling pressure to save up Candles or Hearts in advance.
Event currencies can be exchanged for new IGC cosmetics or event-related spells. They can be found in the main area where the event is played, or in some cases, alongside the event’s themed daily quests, so you won’t need to go out of your way to add this currency to your inventory. In the levels, event currencies vary in appearance to fit the theme of their event. In your inventory, they'll appear as a ticket icon with a symbol on it that will be related to its specific event.
The basics:

• The currency for a specific event is available only while that event is being held.
• Currencies won’t carry over from one event to another, but enough are available during an event to unlock this year’s new IGC cosmetics.
• You won’t need to get all the event currency available every single day to unlock new event items.
• Currencies are placed in set locations each day, and their location in an event will rotate.

Event currencies have some similarities to Seasonal Candles. However, they have some key differences, like:

• At the end of an event, unused event currencies do not convert to Candles or anything else.
• From one event to another, there may be a different total number of event currency available each day.

Please note that there’s a limited amount of event currency available for each event, so if there’s a new IGC cosmetic you want, take note of how much event currency you’ll need to unlock it before deciding whether to spend a lot of that currency on event spells.
Be sure to check out our blog post and FAQ page for more info!

Rainbows Return in Days of Color

The most colorful time of Sky’s year is about to begin. From 00:00 June 1st until 23:59 June 14th, join in a celebration of the diversity that makes our shared world so vibrant. This year’s update further builds on the core themes that have been the focus of the event since its debut in 2020 as Days of Rainbow, celebrating diversity, hope, and above all making the world inside and outside of Sky more inclusive for everyone.
Two event guide Spirits greet a double rainbow in Home that offers Light to collect. Talk to them for the option of teleporting to where the main festivities will be held: an area high above Daylight Prairie, expanded specially for the occasion.
During the first eight days of the event, colorful platforms will gradually become available one-by-one. Charge them with the aid of other players, and once enough people have gathered to charge each platform, receive a reward of Light—or, once all eight platforms are charged, something even more lofty and brilliant. A nearby closet and magical spell-lending geyser can help if you need to make a quick cape change.
As you explore the event area and complete themed Daily Quests, keep an eye out for small iridescent, bubble-like spheres. These are the special event-themed currency you can use to unlock this year’s new IGC Days of Color cosmetic. Players can collect 8 every day during the event—and on days with themed Daily Quests, up to 12 each day! Explore a bit more on the weekends and you might find an extra bubble or two…
Note: The total number of event currency intended to be available during the event is affected by a bug. To offset that bug, we’ll add 8 event currency to the inventory of all players who log in during Days of Color. The only thing you need to do to receive this is to log into the game.
This year we’re proud to share that we’ll once again be supporting The Trevor Project, the world’s largest suicide prevention and mental health organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) young people. The Trevor Project’s programs include crisis services, education, peer support for people around the world, and other efforts to ensure young people can have the chance to thrive no matter who they are. You can read about our 2022 campaign with the Trevor Project here.
2023 Days of Color Campaign Items

• Dark Rainbow Pack $9.99 (all prices USD)
  • As a token of gratitude in return, 40 regular Candles are included with the purchase of this campaign pack
  • $5.00: Days of Color 2023 campaign
  • $3.00: platform fees
  • $1.99: development
• Rainbow Pack flower hair accessory: $19.99 (returning item)
  • As a token of gratitude in return, 75 regular Candles are included with the purchase of this campaign pack
  • $10.00: Days of Color 2023 campaign
  • $6.00: platform fees
  • $3.99: development
• Double Rainbow Pack flower hair accessory: $9.99 (returning item)
  • As a token of gratitude in return, 40 regular Candles are included with the purchase of this campaign pack
  • $5.00: Days of Color 2023 campaign
  • $3.00: platform fees
  • $1.99: development

Other Days of Color Items
The cosmetics below will be offered for sale or in exchange for in-game currency. They can be found from the event guide Spirits, or from the in-game shop. (Please note that these are not campaign items.)

• New This Year—Dark Rainbow Cape: 104 Days of Color currency
  • This is earned through our brand new event currency
• Rainbow Cape: 175 Candles
• Rainbow Trousers: 95 Candles
• Rainbow Braid Accessory: 20 Hearts
  
• New This Year—Dark Rainbow Tunic: $14.99
  
• Rainbow Earring: $2.99
  
• Rainbow Headphones: $9.99
  
• Rainbow Hat: $9.99
  

Free trial spells for all items are available from the Sleepy Traveling Merchant’s Boat in Home. For more details about this year’s Days of Color, check out our recent blog post!

Melodies and Harmonies in Days of Music

New songs are about to ring out to introduce a cozy event! From 00:00 June 26th until 23:59 July 9, Harmony Hall in the Valley of Triumph is hosting Days of Music, a laid back gathering for players of any (or even no) music experience.
A Jam Station in Harmony Hall allows you to easily create music of your own. This new feature lets you dabble out tunes for solos, duets, or even four-part ensembles with an interface that makes it simple to loop them together and adjust as you go along.
A group of four Spirits from the Seasons of Gratitude and Rhythm will also arrive for the occasion, each one offering an instrument to unlock. New music sheets have been added to the music sheet challenges, which will also give each Sky kid an extra boost of Light if they sit down to try their hand at one, no minimum skill level needed!
Two new instruments will be added to Harmony Hall's lineup: a saxophone for event currency, and a violin as an IAP added during the second half of Days of Music.
With the brand new event currency feature, we’re still working to make sure the final balance for everything will be in order—we’ll share those details on our News page closer to the start of the event, so stay tuned!
These event items can be found at the counter (or Spirit standing nearby it) in Harmony Hall:

• Music sheet: 5 Candles
• Harmony Hairpin: 50 Candles (returning item)
• Event currency items: stay tuned for details when the event approaches!
  • Marching Band Hat
  • Saxophone
• Planned to be available from July 7—Triumph Violin: $19.99
  • Please note that our recent development server accident may cause a delay in the violin’s release.
  • The violin will continue to be available after the event as well.

Apart from the music sheet, free trial spells for these items (and the violin, once available) can be found at the counter. Days of Music content is available to all players who have progressed to at least Valley of Triumph.

More Updates

• A lot of features that have been added to Sky are directly based on player feedback—expanding the Friendship Constellation, in-game translation, even being able to interact with Spirits with hugs and high fives (as just a few examples). The latest addition based on player requests: Huggable plushie props. Go forth and show love to your stuffed crab anywhere you go!

Developer Note: Many players love taking their plushie friends around Sky, so we added new ways to play with them! Plushies can now be picked up, hugged, and more. This is our first crack at the plushies and we plan on tinkering with them some more as we see players interact with them. Keep an eye out for more plushie updates in the future!

• A monument has been added to the Starlight Desert area of Vault of Knowledge in honor of a late beloved coworker, and others to whom we’ve had to say goodbye. “In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so, it will be as if all the stars will be laughing when you look at the sky at night.”

Improvements and Bug Fixes in this update include:

Highlights:

• Various improvements to reduce players being separate from their friends when meditating to go to the seasonal area of Isle of Dawn or to join the Seasonal Quests.
• Changes to make it easier for friends to teleport to a player in Festival Tech mode.
• In Festival Tech mode, a player's own avatar will not be obscured from view by avatars from the crowd.
• When standing near a player using the Do Not Disturb spell, the spell's icon appears above their head.
• Updated music sheet rotations in Harmony Hall.

Want to know more about some other fixes in this patch? Find further details below!

Season

• The Overactive Overachiever's hair no longer has a gap when worn with the chibi mask.
• Adjusted the alignment of the Tumbling Troublemaker's earrings.
• Fixed Isle of Dawn Temple music playing instead of seasonal music in that level's seasonal area.
• Update for timer text visibility in second Seasonal Quest.
• Adjustments to ultimate mask to reduce clipping with various hairstyles.

General Fixes and Improvements:

• [PlayStation] Savior achievement reliably granted.
• [iOS, Android, Huawei] Added the option for players on mobile devices to link their Sky account to a Steam account.
• Honking is very important, but not so important that it should interrupt Sky kids’ movement. So now, Sky kids no longer stop rolling, skipping, and doing any other traversal emote to stand up straight when they honk.
• Friends and others should correctly see the stance a player is using, and that stance should no longer reset to default when going between areas or restarting the game.
• Trial of Water opening cutscene is skippable.
• Friendship should raise you up, not pull you down, so we fixed the bug causing a player to sink underground if they accepted a friendship request or unlocked a friendship interaction while being carried by piggyback.
• Similarly, a player leading a friend by handhold won’t sink below the terrain when the person they're holding hands with dives deep underwater.
• When two Spirits are standing close to each other and a player opens one of their Friendship Trees and then selects the other Spirit, the display correctly switches to the Friendship Tree of the selected Spirit.
• Player will not leave edit mode if they tap outside of the keyboard when naming a Shared Space.
• When recording Shared Memories, chatting will pause the recording while the avatar is standing still. Chat is disabled during a recording when swimming, flying, or otherwise moving.
• Music sheets stop playing when you equip a new prop.
• Spirits in Harmony Hall now use their instruments properly during a jam session.
• Removed the mysterious invisible lead boots bug that made players walk underwater in one of the waterfall ponds in Sanctuary.
• Friendship menu now closes automatically when two friends swim away from each other.
• Duration of Kizuna AI STAR Pin effect updated from three seconds to 1 minute.
• Fixed a bug causing avatars that were sitting or lying down to stand up when using an emote.
• When a group of players is handholding or using piggyback, the players following in the chain will automatically attempt to join the Shared Space the group's leader is in.
• Even though red notification dots that never ever ever ever go away are surely the most beloved thing that could appear in a menu, we have ultimately decided that the red dot for new inbox messages should not wear out its welcome. Thus, that red dot now disappears after reading the message.

Audio & Appearance

• Fix to reduce flickering lighting on capes in bright environments.
• Reduced the sound effects radius of instruments being played by other players.
• Fixed a bug causing pillars and other objects in front of the first gate in Forest to be unusually dark or oddly lit.
• Fixed clipping issues with Nature sunglasses and Sanctuary sunglasses masks.
• Instrument no longer misplaced during the Hairtousle Teen's Spirit memory sequence, better suited to entertain us.
• When two friends follow each other in the AURORA concert, doing so no longer leads to visual corruptions in cutscenes or transitions.
• Fixed some missing and discolored polygons here and there, like behind the stage in the Village of Dreams Theater area and the Daylight Prairie Village area.
• Fixed some gaps and pits that could trap players in Eden, plus some other clipping issues with the terrain.
• Small fixes for visual effects affecting capes, with small changes such as gold diamonds on the Thoughtful Director's cape appearing metallic, and improvements to the visual recharge effect on the Season of Shattering Ultimate Light Cape.

Please refer to this page for known issues ongoing or introduced with this patch: Known Issues Patch 0.21.5
As always, we look forward to hearing your feedback, and encourage you to join the community discussion on our official Discord server at discord.gg/thatskygame!
^{Reminder I’m not TGC staff, just reposting their announcements :D}

TLDR: If you’re dying to see this show but can’t avoid the outrageous prices on the secondary market, here’s a friendly reminder that the ticket takers at Soldier Field just work there, and they’re not paid enough to care. Some will accept some cash instead of a scannable barcode or just wave you through if you make a fuss. Below are a couple personal experiences I’ve had that I’m basing this on, as well as some additional suggestions.
To be clear, I’ve not ever actually tried this myself, but I’ve had a few experiences that suggest it’d work.
Fare Thee Well, 2015 – The Grateful Dead’s final “official” shows were at Soldier Field. Stubhub prices were easily 10 or 20x face value in the days leading up to the show. I had a ticket, but on my way into the venue, I casually asked a couple ticket takers how much they’d take cash in hand if I didn’t have a ticket. I was quoted anywhere between $20 and $100.
Beyoncé, 2016 – I had a paper ticket, which I had to pick up at the box office before I went in. There’s a bunch of paths that lead into Solider Field and staff kept providing me with wrong directions as to how I could get to the box office to collect my ticket. They also sometimes have people checking just to make sure you have a ticket to let you pass. This is before they scan them. I came to a gate and insisted that the taker give me actual, proper directions to the box office. I showed her my ticket receipt on my phone. She just waved me into the venue. Realized once I got passed her, I was actually just inside the venue. She couldn’t be bothered.
Coldplay, 2022 – I was late to the show, so I was walking up to the venue while Coldplay was playing their first or second song. My designated entrance was a walk around the building. While walking, I asked a staff member standing by an open door. “Is this the way to Gate X?” He replied, “Yeah, but it’s far, for $15, I’ll let you come in this way.” Highly doubt he was planning to scan or even check my ticket.
I wouldn't suggest traveling to Chicago, then depending on this method. But if you don't have tickets and you live here, you could show up at the venue with cash in hand and give this a shot. I expect the worst that'll happen is you don't get in. And if that happens, you can always try another door. If you want to elicit some additional sympathy, you can create an image of a ticket and have on your phone and pretend that you paid for a ticket but were worried you got scammed so you have some cash as well. This can also help you navigate to different section once you're in the venue. They won’t check your ticket to get into the upper levels, but you’ll def need to show (prob not scan) a ticket to get onto the field and probably some of the lower levels as well.
Now keep in mind, you don't actually have a seat anywhere, and you can't park yourself in someone else's seat. So you might need to move around the venue throughout the show so no one notices that you don't have a place to sit. So not the best way to enjoy a show, but better than not being there at all.
You can also try to scalp a ticket on your way into the venue. You never know who might have an extra because someone had to bail at the last minute. Good luck.

I was lucky again after 2019 (Copenhagen) and 2022 (Hamburg) and was able to get tickets for Berlin - Block N1.
I guess the view will be absolutely fine. However, I have only read bad things about the acoustics so far. The Olympiastadion is supposed to be a real "sound tomb".
Have any of you already had experiences in Berlin? Rammstein is usually known for its excellent sound.
It was fantastic in Hamburg in 2022, but 2019 was an absolute disaster. The vocals were barely audible, I couldn't hear Flake at all. All in all, it was just a mash of electric guitars that were completely overdriven. As it was my first R+ concert, I was very disappointed.
I'm very happy to hear about your experiences.

I'm stuck what kind of tickets I should get. Went to the show in Chicago and had a great experience being up close but wondering what kind of crowd BVB brings? I wouldn't think there'd be moshing but the Riser tickets are almost $200. Has anyone been to either a BVB concert or the Egyptian Room that could tell me what it's like?

I’m going to the June 4th concert in Chicago which will be my first Taylor show and I’ve been trying to avoid spoilers on socials so I have a lot of questions would appreciate any answers/tips for any of these:
-how can I try to get the last minute Ticketmaster tickets I’ve seen for other dates for face value for the show on the 3rd?
-what time does it open each day/when do I have to be there to get the blue tour creeneck
-is stock saved for each day? I’m not going until the final show in the city will I miss out on anything
-I have vip package, is there different things I should do for merch
-is the poster available at show? It is better to get online?
-is there any way to bring in water? An empty bottle to refill? Are there places to refill?
-what time do lines to enter start/what should I be doing differently for VIP?
-Can I carry in a portable charger without a clear bag (like in a pocket)?
-what food/drink is available inside?
-how do tayl-gates work for nights I don’t have tickets?
-other general tips?

Hi all - hoping someone can help calm my anxieties. Back when Taylor Swift initially announced her tour, we ended up buying 4 “backup” tickets to her Detroit show as that is the fan presale code we received, in case we were unable to get Chicago tickets during the Citi presale. We successfully got the Chicago tickets, so listed the Detroit ones on StubHub. We listed them a bit lower than the going rate at the time so they sold quickly - we are still making a very decent profit. Once they were purchased I transferred them to the buyer via TicketMaster. For this particular event, StubHub stated I will not receive the money from the sale until the concert is over and they’ve confirmed the purchaser did not have issues / I wasn’t scamming them.
As the show inches nearer I am starting to have anxiety about the initial sale. Tickets in a similar section are selling for substantially higher now, and I’m worried that whoever bought my tickets may re-sell them and then try to claim that they didn’t work for them at the show, and I won’t get my payout. Like, what is stopping the buyer from re-selling them, transferring them to someone else’s account, and then claiming to StubHub that they didn’t work at the door? Would there be a way for TicketMaster to track that the tickets I sent to the buyer were then transferred to someone else?