​
Thirty-four years have passed since the June 4th anniversary. Although the Chinese Communist Party authorities have kept their secrets and prohibited discussion, there are still people commemorating it every year outside the wall.
But I want to say that the June 4th student movement was not "spontaneous by the masses", but a political movement initiated by politicians. Just like the Cultural Revolution was initiated by Mao Zedong, and the Fourth Five Movement was initiated by Deng Xiaoping, the June Fourth Movement was initiated by Zhao Ziyang to seek justice for Hu Yaobang and attack Li Peng, Chen Yun, and even Deng Xiaoping.
June Fourth was inspired by Deng Xiaoping's April Five Movement. Deng Xiaoping's inspiration for launching the April 5th Movement came from Mao Zedong's multiple student movements in 1966-68, or the Cultural Revolution.
Mao Zedong's inspiration for launching the 66-68 Student Movement came from the May 4th Movement. The May 4th Movement was actually a campaign initiated by Liang Qichao, Wang Daxie, and Lin Changmin against the then President Xu Shichang, the then Minister to Japan Zhang Zongxiang, and the then Minister of Communications Cao Rulin.
Liang Qichao launched the May Fourth Movement, which was inspired by the Boxers around 1900.
The reason why it is said that from the Boxer Rebellion to the June 4th Movement was manipulation by politicians rather than "spontaneity of the masses". These movements all have an essence. They are not opposed to the regime and strongly support the regime. They are only dissatisfied with certain specific issues. Issues are really just a matter for politicians.
Expressing support for the regime in the parade has a very heavy operational color. For example, the Boxer Rebellion’s slogan of “supporting the Qing Dynasty and destroying the foreigners,” June 4th’s actions of “supporting the party’s leadership” and “swiping away the counter-revolutionaries who stained Chairman Mao’s portrait with ink” all clearly showed that these movements supported the government.
This strange parade movement has been passed down. In ancient China, there was no concept of democracy, but it also paid attention to public opinion. That is what Confucianism calls "the people are the most important, the society is second, and the monarch is the least". "Whoever wins the hearts of the people wins the world." Theory.
So in an authoritarian era where there is no concept of voting, how do we reflect the hearts of the people? Of course, adjectives such as "auspiciousness" appearing in various places, common people "eat pots of pulp", "loyal to the emperor and patriotism" and "swear allegiance to the emperor to the death".
Of course, language is pale, in addition to adjectives, but also action. For example, the common people offered their most precious local specialties as tribute, and the officials wrote a persuasion form to express their loyalty with the sincerity of the tribute.
At least in the Han Dynasty, there were records of politicians forging public opinion to achieve their own goals. For example, when Wang Mang usurped the throne, people all over the world expressed their support, and there were various auspicious signs. These are obviously forged.
After understanding the tradition of falsifying public opinion, it is relatively easy to understand that the Qing Dynasty organized the Boxer Rebellion, Liang Qichao initiated the May Fourth Movement, Mao Zedong initiated the Cultural Revolution, Deng Xiaoping initiated the April 5th Movement, Hu Yaobang initiated the 1986 Student Movement, and Zhao Ziyang organized the 1989 Student Movement.
This is all in a place where there is no voting right, inciting the masses to create momentum.
Similar to this is the North Korean masses, who march against the United States at every turn, "spontaneously" for Kim Il Sung, and cry to death after Kim Jong Il's death.
In authoritarian countries without the right to vote, these masses incited by politicians are seen as "voting with action."
What is the real public opinion? In a democratic country, in addition to using polls to understand public opinion, of course there are parades to reflect public opinion.
It's just that in unmanaged democracies, people usually only march because of their own interests. For example, the North American truck driver parade is because of the vaccination mandate for the truck driver group and so on. The French demonstrations are mostly due to rising prices.
"Pro-government" marches occur only in authoritarian countries. The Boxers, the May Fourth Movement, the Cultural Revolution, August 6th, and 1989 were actually demonstrations in favor of the government. Because these demonstrations support a certain policy of the government and are controlled opposition groups. The Boxer Movement supported the government’s confrontation with foreigners, the May 4th movement supported the government’s external toughness, the Cultural Revolution supported the government’s (Mao Zedong) overthrow of Liu Shaoqi, the August 6th movement supported the government’s (Hu Yaobang) reform of the electoral system for people’s congresses, and the 1989 student movement supported the government’s (Zhao Ziyang) Discussing for Hu Yaobang is a step closer to suppressing "conservatives".
A truly uncontrolled demonstration will not be under the banner of "supporting a certain decision of a certain person in the government". Take Qing as an example:
In the Qing Dynasty, there were countless uncontrolled opposition groups before the Boxers. The early anti-Qing Fuming Triad Organization and the White Lotus Sect, Wu Sangui and other forces did not count. In the late Qing Dynasty, there were also Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, Xiaodaohui, Nian Army, Xinjiang Uncontrolled opposition forces such as the 70% khanate of Aquba and the so-called "Sun Party", that is, Sun Yat-sen's revolutionary party.
At this time, the Qing Dynasty needs to launch a mass movement so that the masses can find something to do and someone to vent their anger on. Otherwise, they might join some anti-government organization.
So the government took advantage of the desire of the masses to vent, organized a group of gangsters who practice martial arts, and made up some slogans to let these gangsters beat foreigners.
This trick was actually used before in Sanyuanli when fighting against the British. Mobilizing the masses to resist foreigners is an old routine of the Qing Dynasty. You can see the jingle compiled by the Qing Dynasty for the Boxers, "Red light shines, the world laughs. Kill foreigners first, then kill foreign religions" "God helps fist, boxers... demolish railways, pull wire poles, and urgently destroy steamers. Foreign devils, kill all Slogans such as "The Great Qing Dynasty will be able to unify the rivers and mountains" can be seen to be made up by educated people. At that time, the generation of farmers in the Yellow River Flooding Area in Northeast China, what kind of foreign religion did they know, what about steamships?
What foreigners endanger is the rule of the Qing Dynasty, not the peasants. You must know that farmers in normal countries protest, usually to protest against low food prices or land mergers and environmental pollution. In ancient China, it was fleeing famine and peasant uprising. The peasant movement, which took the initiative to support the government and help the government defeat its opponents, was the first of its kind in the Qing Dynasty during the two thousand years of imperial rule.
Farmers are farming in the fields every day, and they suddenly want to help the government against foreigners. Naturally, someone instigates and writes songs.
Nineteen years after the end of the Boxer Movement, when Liang Qichao was facing his political opponents, he suddenly remembered the Boxer's move to mobilize the masses. Therefore, students were mobilized to protest the Paris Peace Conference, and the May 4th Movement was launched.
In fact, students usually only protest the high price of food in the cafeteria and the bad food. Does the Twenty-One of the Paris Peace Conference have anything to do with students? Obviously someone provoked. If the students really cared so much about the territory, then Mongolia became independent, Manchukuo was established, and the Chinese Soviet was established, why didn’t there be large-scale demonstrations by students?
The May 4th Movement was quite a big mess, which left a deep impression on Mao Zedong, who was 26 years old at the time. He was addicted to rebellion and wanted to find an opportunity to engage in a movement like the May Fourth Movement all his life. So in order to defeat Liu Shaoqi, he finally imitated the May 4th Movement and instigated the 66-year student movement. It also has a nice name, the Cultural Revolution.
It was created by combining the New Culture Movement of the year and the creativity of the revolutionaries. The purpose, of course, is to defeat Liu Shaoqi. In fact, among those students who rose up to protest against Liu Shaoqi, how many of them could get in touch with Liu Shaoqi, why did they hate Liu Shaoqi so much? Of course it was Mao Zedong who did it.
While criticizing Liu Shaoqi, a Soviet cadre, he incidentally criticized Deng Xiaoping who carried out Liu Shaoqi's line. The students criticized Deng Xiaoping's younger brother, Deng Shuping, and committed suicide. His son jumped off a building and became disabled.
The student movement launched by Mao Zedong undoubtedly left a deep impression on Deng Xiaoping, so he also learned the technique of organizing the masses to "express public opinion", so he first wrote to Mao Zedong to show his weakness, and secretly cooperated with Ye Jianying, Chen Yun and others to try to launch a mass movement for revenge. The two political allies Chen Yun and Ye Jianying were carefully selected by Deng: Chen Yun offended Mao in the late 1950s when he launched an anti-adventurous movement, and his home was ransacked twice after the Cultural Revolution. Ye Jianying was criticized thoroughly because of the February countercurrent incident.
It can be said that Deng, Chen, and Ye belonged to the people who had been criticized by Mao Zedong and then came back to "make meritorious service". The three hit it off and imitated Mao Zedong's way of mobilizing the masses to launch the Fourth and Fifth Movement, trying to use public opinion to oppose Mao Zedong and the "Gang of Four". ".
As a result, the April 5th Movement in 1976 was broken up by Jiang Qing's mobilization of Beijing military police and workers with wooden sticks in just two days. Deng Xiaoping was defeated again. It's a pity that Jiang Qing and the others didn't see that Chen Yun and Ye Jianying belonged to Deng Xiaoping, which laid the groundwork for the subsequent crushing of the Gang of Four.
Next came the 86 Student Movement. In fact, Hu Yaobang Wanli thought that Deng Xiaoping was about to fight the conservatives to seize power, so he created a wave of "public opinion" to support Deng Xiaoping. Due to the huge momentum of the 86 student movement, Deng Xiaoping, who was unwilling to make a democratic transition in his heart, launched an action to criticize bourgeois liberalization without hesitation. In fact, it was criticizing Hu Yaobang.
The depressed Hu Yaobang died of massive myocardial infarction in 1989, so Zhao Ziyang organized a commemorative event for Hu Yaobang, imitating Deng Xiaoping's 1976 drama of using the dead to overwhelm the living. That is, the 89 student movement.
This time it was even bigger than the 86 student movement, so that in the end Deng Xiaoping had no troops to transfer in Beijing, so he could only put down his old face and send troops from other places to suppress it.
From the Boxers to the May 4th, from the May 4th to the June 4th, politicians manipulated public opinion time and time again, using the blood of the masses to achieve their political goals, which has to be thought-provoking.
The government's methods of inciting public opinion are also very similar: pulling one faction against another, compiling songs, leaflets, and big-character posters. Open one opening and close the others. The masses are limited to certain slogans and cannot oppose the government or someone in the government.
For example, the Boxers allowed you to kill foreigners but not to oppose the government, the Cultural Revolution allowed you to criticize Liu Shaoqi but not the party to criticize Mao Zedong, June Fourth allowed you to commemorate Hu Yaobang and even called for democracy, but you were not allowed to attack Chairman Mao or oppose the Communist Party, etc. You just have to think about it, whoever wrote the texts about helping the Qing Dynasty and exterminating the foreigners and distributed them among the people, and whoever wrote the texts commemorating Hu Yaobang took the lead in posting big-character posters in universities, you will know who is behind the scenes
We can say that most of the mass movements after the establishment of the Communist Party of China were not spontaneous, but belonged to the "controllable opposition".
The truly uncontrolled mass movements are the exile of the Dalai Lama in India, the repeated armed protests of the Uighurs, the armed protests in Shadian, Yunnan, the appeal of Falun Gong, the 315 incident in Lhasa in 2008, the July 5 incident in Xinjiang and a series of ethnic conflicts after that, To the recent Tonghaina family camp incident and so on.
It can be seen that these mass movements not controlled by the Communist Party are fundamentally different from controlled movements such as the Boxer Rebellion, the Cultural Revolution, and June 4th. The uncontrolled mass movement is more like a traditional peasant uprising, the Hui uprising.
With this understanding, when the next "mass movement" comes, you can simply judge whether it is led by some politicians or a movement not controlled by the government, and then decide whether to participate and how to participate.
It is not to say that the mass movement led by the government can only be used as a pawn. If you have a clear understanding, you can use it in reverse. The mass gathering of 100,000 people organized by Ceausescu is a good example.
And the recent mass movement to overthrow the government in Sri Lanka also illustrates the great potential of the power of the masses. If the millions of students and citizens had walked into Zhongnanhai instead of going on a hunger strike in the square on June 4th, perhaps the political situation would have changed long ago.

​
Thirty-four years have passed since the June 4th anniversary. Although the Chinese Communist Party authorities have kept their secrets and prohibited discussion, there are still people commemorating it every year outside the wall.
But I want to say that the June 4th student movement was not "spontaneous by the masses", but a political movement initiated by politicians. Just like the Cultural Revolution was initiated by Mao Zedong, and the Fourth Five Movement was initiated by Deng Xiaoping, the June Fourth Movement was initiated by Zhao Ziyang to seek justice for Hu Yaobang and attack Li Peng, Chen Yun, and even Deng Xiaoping.
June Fourth was inspired by Deng Xiaoping's April Five Movement. Deng Xiaoping's inspiration for launching the April 5th Movement came from Mao Zedong's multiple student movements in 1966-68, or the Cultural Revolution.
Mao Zedong's inspiration for launching the 66-68 Student Movement came from the May 4th Movement. The May 4th Movement was actually a campaign initiated by Liang Qichao, Wang Daxie, and Lin Changmin against the then President Xu Shichang, the then Minister to Japan Zhang Zongxiang, and the then Minister of Communications Cao Rulin.
Liang Qichao launched the May Fourth Movement, which was inspired by the Boxers around 1900.
The reason why it is said that from the Boxer Rebellion to the June 4th Movement was manipulation by politicians rather than "spontaneity of the masses". These movements all have an essence. They are not opposed to the regime and strongly support the regime. They are only dissatisfied with certain specific issues. Issues are really just a matter for politicians.
Expressing support for the regime in the parade has a very heavy operational color. For example, the Boxer Rebellion’s slogan of “supporting the Qing Dynasty and destroying the foreigners,” June 4th’s actions of “supporting the party’s leadership” and “swiping away the counter-revolutionaries who stained Chairman Mao’s portrait with ink” all clearly showed that these movements supported the government.
This strange parade movement has been passed down. In ancient China, there was no concept of democracy, but it also paid attention to public opinion. That is what Confucianism calls "the people are the most important, the society is second, and the monarch is the least". "Whoever wins the hearts of the people wins the world." Theory.
So in an authoritarian era where there is no concept of voting, how do we reflect the hearts of the people? Of course, adjectives such as "auspiciousness" appearing in various places, common people "eat pots of pulp", "loyal to the emperor and patriotism" and "swear allegiance to the emperor to the death".
Of course, language is pale, in addition to adjectives, but also action. For example, the common people offered their most precious local specialties as tribute, and the officials wrote a persuasion form to express their loyalty with the sincerity of the tribute.
At least in the Han Dynasty, there were records of politicians forging public opinion to achieve their own goals. For example, when Wang Mang usurped the throne, people all over the world expressed their support, and there were various auspicious signs. These are obviously forged.
After understanding the tradition of falsifying public opinion, it is relatively easy to understand that the Qing Dynasty organized the Boxer Rebellion, Liang Qichao initiated the May Fourth Movement, Mao Zedong initiated the Cultural Revolution, Deng Xiaoping initiated the April 5th Movement, Hu Yaobang initiated the 1986 Student Movement, and Zhao Ziyang organized the 1989 Student Movement.
This is all in a place where there is no voting right, inciting the masses to create momentum.
Similar to this is the North Korean masses, who march against the United States at every turn, "spontaneously" for Kim Il Sung, and cry to death after Kim Jong Il's death.
In authoritarian countries without the right to vote, these masses incited by politicians are seen as "voting with action."
What is the real public opinion? In a democratic country, in addition to using polls to understand public opinion, of course there are parades to reflect public opinion.
It's just that in unmanaged democracies, people usually only march because of their own interests. For example, the North American truck driver parade is because of the vaccination mandate for the truck driver group and so on. The French demonstrations are mostly due to rising prices.
"Pro-government" marches occur only in authoritarian countries. The Boxers, the May Fourth Movement, the Cultural Revolution, August 6th, and 1989 were actually demonstrations in favor of the government. Because these demonstrations support a certain policy of the government and are controlled opposition groups. The Boxer Movement supported the government’s confrontation with foreigners, the May 4th movement supported the government’s external toughness, the Cultural Revolution supported the government’s (Mao Zedong) overthrow of Liu Shaoqi, the August 6th movement supported the government’s (Hu Yaobang) reform of the electoral system for people’s congresses, and the 1989 student movement supported the government’s (Zhao Ziyang) Discussing for Hu Yaobang is a step closer to suppressing "conservatives".
A truly uncontrolled demonstration will not be under the banner of "supporting a certain decision of a certain person in the government". Take Qing as an example:
In the Qing Dynasty, there were countless uncontrolled opposition groups before the Boxers. The early anti-Qing Fuming Triad Organization and the White Lotus Sect, Wu Sangui and other forces did not count. In the late Qing Dynasty, there were also Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, Xiaodaohui, Nian Army, Xinjiang Uncontrolled opposition forces such as the 70% khanate of Aquba and the so-called "Sun Party", that is, Sun Yat-sen's revolutionary party.
At this time, the Qing Dynasty needs to launch a mass movement so that the masses can find something to do and someone to vent their anger on. Otherwise, they might join some anti-government organization.
So the government took advantage of the desire of the masses to vent, organized a group of gangsters who practice martial arts, and made up some slogans to let these gangsters beat foreigners.
This trick was actually used before in Sanyuanli when fighting against the British. Mobilizing the masses to resist foreigners is an old routine of the Qing Dynasty. You can see the jingle compiled by the Qing Dynasty for the Boxers, "Red light shines, the world laughs. Kill foreigners first, then kill foreign religions" "God helps fist, boxers... demolish railways, pull wire poles, and urgently destroy steamers. Foreign devils, kill all Slogans such as "The Great Qing Dynasty will be able to unify the rivers and mountains" can be seen to be made up by educated people. At that time, the generation of farmers in the Yellow River Flooding Area in Northeast China, what kind of foreign religion did they know, what about steamships?
What foreigners endanger is the rule of the Qing Dynasty, not the peasants. You must know that farmers in normal countries protest, usually to protest against low food prices or land mergers and environmental pollution. In ancient China, it was fleeing famine and peasant uprising. The peasant movement, which took the initiative to support the government and help the government defeat its opponents, was the first of its kind in the Qing Dynasty during the two thousand years of imperial rule.
Farmers are farming in the fields every day, and they suddenly want to help the government against foreigners. Naturally, someone instigates and writes songs.
Nineteen years after the end of the Boxer Movement, when Liang Qichao was facing his political opponents, he suddenly remembered the Boxer's move to mobilize the masses. Therefore, students were mobilized to protest the Paris Peace Conference, and the May 4th Movement was launched.
In fact, students usually only protest the high price of food in the cafeteria and the bad food. Does the Twenty-One of the Paris Peace Conference have anything to do with students? Obviously someone provoked. If the students really cared so much about the territory, then Mongolia became independent, Manchukuo was established, and the Chinese Soviet was established, why didn’t there be large-scale demonstrations by students?
The May 4th Movement was quite a big mess, which left a deep impression on Mao Zedong, who was 26 years old at the time. He was addicted to rebellion and wanted to find an opportunity to engage in a movement like the May Fourth Movement all his life. So in order to defeat Liu Shaoqi, he finally imitated the May 4th Movement and instigated the 66-year student movement. It also has a nice name, the Cultural Revolution.
It was created by combining the New Culture Movement of the year and the creativity of the revolutionaries. The purpose, of course, is to defeat Liu Shaoqi. In fact, among those students who rose up to protest against Liu Shaoqi, how many of them could get in touch with Liu Shaoqi, why did they hate Liu Shaoqi so much? Of course it was Mao Zedong who did it.
While criticizing Liu Shaoqi, a Soviet cadre, he incidentally criticized Deng Xiaoping who carried out Liu Shaoqi's line. The students criticized Deng Xiaoping's younger brother, Deng Shuping, and committed suicide. His son jumped off a building and became disabled.
The student movement launched by Mao Zedong undoubtedly left a deep impression on Deng Xiaoping, so he also learned the technique of organizing the masses to "express public opinion", so he first wrote to Mao Zedong to show his weakness, and secretly cooperated with Ye Jianying, Chen Yun and others to try to launch a mass movement for revenge. The two political allies Chen Yun and Ye Jianying were carefully selected by Deng: Chen Yun offended Mao in the late 1950s when he launched an anti-adventurous movement, and his home was ransacked twice after the Cultural Revolution. Ye Jianying was criticized thoroughly because of the February countercurrent incident.
It can be said that Deng, Chen, and Ye belonged to the people who had been criticized by Mao Zedong and then came back to "make meritorious service". The three hit it off and imitated Mao Zedong's way of mobilizing the masses to launch the Fourth and Fifth Movement, trying to use public opinion to oppose Mao Zedong and the "Gang of Four". ".
As a result, the April 5th Movement in 1976 was broken up by Jiang Qing's mobilization of Beijing military police and workers with wooden sticks in just two days. Deng Xiaoping was defeated again. It's a pity that Jiang Qing and the others didn't see that Chen Yun and Ye Jianying belonged to Deng Xiaoping, which laid the groundwork for the subsequent crushing of the Gang of Four.
Next came the 86 Student Movement. In fact, Hu Yaobang Wanli thought that Deng Xiaoping was about to fight the conservatives to seize power, so he created a wave of "public opinion" to support Deng Xiaoping. Due to the huge momentum of the 86 student movement, Deng Xiaoping, who was unwilling to make a democratic transition in his heart, launched an action to criticize bourgeois liberalization without hesitation. In fact, it was criticizing Hu Yaobang.
The depressed Hu Yaobang died of massive myocardial infarction in 1989, so Zhao Ziyang organized a commemorative event for Hu Yaobang, imitating Deng Xiaoping's 1976 drama of using the dead to overwhelm the living. That is, the 89 student movement.
This time it was even bigger than the 86 student movement, so that in the end Deng Xiaoping had no troops to transfer in Beijing, so he could only put down his old face and send troops from other places to suppress it.
From the Boxers to the May 4th, from the May 4th to the June 4th, politicians manipulated public opinion time and time again, using the blood of the masses to achieve their political goals, which has to be thought-provoking.
The government's methods of inciting public opinion are also very similar: pulling one faction against another, compiling songs, leaflets, and big-character posters. Open one opening and close the others. The masses are limited to certain slogans and cannot oppose the government or someone in the government.
For example, the Boxers allowed you to kill foreigners but not to oppose the government, the Cultural Revolution allowed you to criticize Liu Shaoqi but not the party to criticize Mao Zedong, June Fourth allowed you to commemorate Hu Yaobang and even called for democracy, but you were not allowed to attack Chairman Mao or oppose the Communist Party, etc. You just have to think about it, whoever wrote the texts about helping the Qing Dynasty and exterminating the foreigners and distributed them among the people, and whoever wrote the texts commemorating Hu Yaobang took the lead in posting big-character posters in universities, you will know who is behind the scenes
We can say that most of the mass movements after the establishment of the Communist Party of China were not spontaneous, but belonged to the "controllable opposition".
The truly uncontrolled mass movements are the exile of the Dalai Lama in India, the repeated armed protests of the Uighurs, the armed protests in Shadian, Yunnan, the appeal of Falun Gong, the 315 incident in Lhasa in 2008, the July 5 incident in Xinjiang and a series of ethnic conflicts after that, To the recent Tonghaina family camp incident and so on.
It can be seen that these mass movements not controlled by the Communist Party are fundamentally different from controlled movements such as the Boxer Rebellion, the Cultural Revolution, and June 4th. The uncontrolled mass movement is more like a traditional peasant uprising, the Hui uprising.
With this understanding, when the next "mass movement" comes, you can simply judge whether it is led by some politicians or a movement not controlled by the government, and then decide whether to participate and how to participate.
It is not to say that the mass movement led by the government can only be used as a pawn. If you have a clear understanding, you can use it in reverse. The mass gathering of 100,000 people organized by Ceausescu is a good example.
And the recent mass movement to overthrow the government in Sri Lanka also illustrates the great potential of the power of the masses. If the millions of students and citizens had walked into Zhongnanhai instead of going on a hunger strike in the square on June 4th, perhaps the political situation would have changed long ago.

​
Thirty-four years have passed since the June 4th anniversary. Although the Chinese Communist Party authorities have kept their secrets and prohibited discussion, there are still people commemorating it every year outside the wall.
But I want to say that the June 4th student movement was not "spontaneous by the masses", but a political movement initiated by politicians. Just like the Cultural Revolution was initiated by Mao Zedong, and the Fourth Five Movement was initiated by Deng Xiaoping, the June Fourth Movement was initiated by Zhao Ziyang to seek justice for Hu Yaobang and attack Li Peng, Chen Yun, and even Deng Xiaoping.
June Fourth was inspired by Deng Xiaoping's April Five Movement. Deng Xiaoping's inspiration for launching the April 5th Movement came from Mao Zedong's multiple student movements in 1966-68, or the Cultural Revolution.
Mao Zedong's inspiration for launching the 66-68 Student Movement came from the May 4th Movement. The May 4th Movement was actually a campaign initiated by Liang Qichao, Wang Daxie, and Lin Changmin against the then President Xu Shichang, the then Minister to Japan Zhang Zongxiang, and the then Minister of Communications Cao Rulin.
Liang Qichao launched the May Fourth Movement, which was inspired by the Boxers around 1900.
The reason why it is said that from the Boxer Rebellion to the June 4th Movement was manipulation by politicians rather than "spontaneity of the masses". These movements all have an essence. They are not opposed to the regime and strongly support the regime. They are only dissatisfied with certain specific issues. Issues are really just a matter for politicians.
Expressing support for the regime in the parade has a very heavy operational color. For example, the Boxer Rebellion’s slogan of “supporting the Qing Dynasty and destroying the foreigners,” June 4th’s actions of “supporting the party’s leadership” and “swiping away the counter-revolutionaries who stained Chairman Mao’s portrait with ink” all clearly showed that these movements supported the government.
This strange parade movement has been passed down. In ancient China, there was no concept of democracy, but it also paid attention to public opinion. That is what Confucianism calls "the people are the most important, the society is second, and the monarch is the least". "Whoever wins the hearts of the people wins the world." Theory.
So in an authoritarian era where there is no concept of voting, how do we reflect the hearts of the people? Of course, adjectives such as "auspiciousness" appearing in various places, common people "eat pots of pulp", "loyal to the emperor and patriotism" and "swear allegiance to the emperor to the death".
Of course, language is pale, in addition to adjectives, but also action. For example, the common people offered their most precious local specialties as tribute, and the officials wrote a persuasion form to express their loyalty with the sincerity of the tribute.
At least in the Han Dynasty, there were records of politicians forging public opinion to achieve their own goals. For example, when Wang Mang usurped the throne, people all over the world expressed their support, and there were various auspicious signs. These are obviously forged.
After understanding the tradition of falsifying public opinion, it is relatively easy to understand that the Qing Dynasty organized the Boxer Rebellion, Liang Qichao initiated the May Fourth Movement, Mao Zedong initiated the Cultural Revolution, Deng Xiaoping initiated the April 5th Movement, Hu Yaobang initiated the 1986 Student Movement, and Zhao Ziyang organized the 1989 Student Movement.
This is all in a place where there is no voting right, inciting the masses to create momentum.
Similar to this is the North Korean masses, who march against the United States at every turn, "spontaneously" for Kim Il Sung, and cry to death after Kim Jong Il's death.
In authoritarian countries without the right to vote, these masses incited by politicians are seen as "voting with action."
What is the real public opinion? In a democratic country, in addition to using polls to understand public opinion, of course there are parades to reflect public opinion.
It's just that in unmanaged democracies, people usually only march because of their own interests. For example, the North American truck driver parade is because of the vaccination mandate for the truck driver group and so on. The French demonstrations are mostly due to rising prices.
"Pro-government" marches occur only in authoritarian countries. The Boxers, the May Fourth Movement, the Cultural Revolution, August 6th, and 1989 were actually demonstrations in favor of the government. Because these demonstrations support a certain policy of the government and are controlled opposition groups. The Boxer Movement supported the government’s confrontation with foreigners, the May 4th movement supported the government’s external toughness, the Cultural Revolution supported the government’s (Mao Zedong) overthrow of Liu Shaoqi, the August 6th movement supported the government’s (Hu Yaobang) reform of the electoral system for people’s congresses, and the 1989 student movement supported the government’s (Zhao Ziyang) Discussing for Hu Yaobang is a step closer to suppressing "conservatives".
A truly uncontrolled demonstration will not be under the banner of "supporting a certain decision of a certain person in the government". Take Qing as an example:
In the Qing Dynasty, there were countless uncontrolled opposition groups before the Boxers. The early anti-Qing Fuming Triad Organization and the White Lotus Sect, Wu Sangui and other forces did not count. In the late Qing Dynasty, there were also Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, Xiaodaohui, Nian Army, Xinjiang Uncontrolled opposition forces such as the 70% khanate of Aquba and the so-called "Sun Party", that is, Sun Yat-sen's revolutionary party.
At this time, the Qing Dynasty needs to launch a mass movement so that the masses can find something to do and someone to vent their anger on. Otherwise, they might join some anti-government organization.
So the government took advantage of the desire of the masses to vent, organized a group of gangsters who practice martial arts, and made up some slogans to let these gangsters beat foreigners.
This trick was actually used before in Sanyuanli when fighting against the British. Mobilizing the masses to resist foreigners is an old routine of the Qing Dynasty. You can see the jingle compiled by the Qing Dynasty for the Boxers, "Red light shines, the world laughs. Kill foreigners first, then kill foreign religions" "God helps fist, boxers... demolish railways, pull wire poles, and urgently destroy steamers. Foreign devils, kill all Slogans such as "The Great Qing Dynasty will be able to unify the rivers and mountains" can be seen to be made up by educated people. At that time, the generation of farmers in the Yellow River Flooding Area in Northeast China, what kind of foreign religion did they know, what about steamships?
What foreigners endanger is the rule of the Qing Dynasty, not the peasants. You must know that farmers in normal countries protest, usually to protest against low food prices or land mergers and environmental pollution. In ancient China, it was fleeing famine and peasant uprising. The peasant movement, which took the initiative to support the government and help the government defeat its opponents, was the first of its kind in the Qing Dynasty during the two thousand years of imperial rule.
Farmers are farming in the fields every day, and they suddenly want to help the government against foreigners. Naturally, someone instigates and writes songs.
Nineteen years after the end of the Boxer Movement, when Liang Qichao was facing his political opponents, he suddenly remembered the Boxer's move to mobilize the masses. Therefore, students were mobilized to protest the Paris Peace Conference, and the May 4th Movement was launched.
In fact, students usually only protest the high price of food in the cafeteria and the bad food. Does the Twenty-One of the Paris Peace Conference have anything to do with students? Obviously someone provoked. If the students really cared so much about the territory, then Mongolia became independent, Manchukuo was established, and the Chinese Soviet was established, why didn’t there be large-scale demonstrations by students?
The May 4th Movement was quite a big mess, which left a deep impression on Mao Zedong, who was 26 years old at the time. He was addicted to rebellion and wanted to find an opportunity to engage in a movement like the May Fourth Movement all his life. So in order to defeat Liu Shaoqi, he finally imitated the May 4th Movement and instigated the 66-year student movement. It also has a nice name, the Cultural Revolution.
It was created by combining the New Culture Movement of the year and the creativity of the revolutionaries. The purpose, of course, is to defeat Liu Shaoqi. In fact, among those students who rose up to protest against Liu Shaoqi, how many of them could get in touch with Liu Shaoqi, why did they hate Liu Shaoqi so much? Of course it was Mao Zedong who did it.
While criticizing Liu Shaoqi, a Soviet cadre, he incidentally criticized Deng Xiaoping who carried out Liu Shaoqi's line. The students criticized Deng Xiaoping's younger brother, Deng Shuping, and committed suicide. His son jumped off a building and became disabled.
The student movement launched by Mao Zedong undoubtedly left a deep impression on Deng Xiaoping, so he also learned the technique of organizing the masses to "express public opinion", so he first wrote to Mao Zedong to show his weakness, and secretly cooperated with Ye Jianying, Chen Yun and others to try to launch a mass movement for revenge. The two political allies Chen Yun and Ye Jianying were carefully selected by Deng: Chen Yun offended Mao in the late 1950s when he launched an anti-adventurous movement, and his home was ransacked twice after the Cultural Revolution. Ye Jianying was criticized thoroughly because of the February countercurrent incident.
It can be said that Deng, Chen, and Ye belonged to the people who had been criticized by Mao Zedong and then came back to "make meritorious service". The three hit it off and imitated Mao Zedong's way of mobilizing the masses to launch the Fourth and Fifth Movement, trying to use public opinion to oppose Mao Zedong and the "Gang of Four". ".
As a result, the April 5th Movement in 1976 was broken up by Jiang Qing's mobilization of Beijing military police and workers with wooden sticks in just two days. Deng Xiaoping was defeated again. It's a pity that Jiang Qing and the others didn't see that Chen Yun and Ye Jianying belonged to Deng Xiaoping, which laid the groundwork for the subsequent crushing of the Gang of Four.
Next came the 86 Student Movement. In fact, Hu Yaobang Wanli thought that Deng Xiaoping was about to fight the conservatives to seize power, so he created a wave of "public opinion" to support Deng Xiaoping. Due to the huge momentum of the 86 student movement, Deng Xiaoping, who was unwilling to make a democratic transition in his heart, launched an action to criticize bourgeois liberalization without hesitation. In fact, it was criticizing Hu Yaobang.
The depressed Hu Yaobang died of massive myocardial infarction in 1989, so Zhao Ziyang organized a commemorative event for Hu Yaobang, imitating Deng Xiaoping's 1976 drama of using the dead to overwhelm the living. That is, the 89 student movement.
This time it was even bigger than the 86 student movement, so that in the end Deng Xiaoping had no troops to transfer in Beijing, so he could only put down his old face and send troops from other places to suppress it.
From the Boxers to the May 4th, from the May 4th to the June 4th, politicians manipulated public opinion time and time again, using the blood of the masses to achieve their political goals, which has to be thought-provoking.
The government's methods of inciting public opinion are also very similar: pulling one faction against another, compiling songs, leaflets, and big-character posters. Open one opening and close the others. The masses are limited to certain slogans and cannot oppose the government or someone in the government.
For example, the Boxers allowed you to kill foreigners but not to oppose the government, the Cultural Revolution allowed you to criticize Liu Shaoqi but not the party to criticize Mao Zedong, June Fourth allowed you to commemorate Hu Yaobang and even called for democracy, but you were not allowed to attack Chairman Mao or oppose the Communist Party, etc. You just have to think about it, whoever wrote the texts about helping the Qing Dynasty and exterminating the foreigners and distributed them among the people, and whoever wrote the texts commemorating Hu Yaobang took the lead in posting big-character posters in universities, you will know who is behind the scenes
We can say that most of the mass movements after the establishment of the Communist Party of China were not spontaneous, but belonged to the "controllable opposition".
The truly uncontrolled mass movements are the exile of the Dalai Lama in India, the repeated armed protests of the Uighurs, the armed protests in Shadian, Yunnan, the appeal of Falun Gong, the 315 incident in Lhasa in 2008, the July 5 incident in Xinjiang and a series of ethnic conflicts after that, To the recent Tonghaina family camp incident and so on.
It can be seen that these mass movements not controlled by the Communist Party are fundamentally different from controlled movements such as the Boxer Rebellion, the Cultural Revolution, and June 4th. The uncontrolled mass movement is more like a traditional peasant uprising, the Hui uprising.
With this understanding, when the next "mass movement" comes, you can simply judge whether it is led by some politicians or a movement not controlled by the government, and then decide whether to participate and how to participate.
It is not to say that the mass movement led by the government can only be used as a pawn. If you have a clear understanding, you can use it in reverse. The mass gathering of 100,000 people organized by Ceausescu is a good example.
And the recent mass movement to overthrow the government in Sri Lanka also illustrates the great potential of the power of the masses. If the millions of students and citizens had walked into Zhongnanhai instead of going on a hunger strike in the square on June 4th, perhaps the political situation would have changed long ago.

• This week’s guests were Loosey LaDuca & Salina EsTitties.
• Naysha asks the guests if they would go back to All Stars, and there is a long silence. Salina says doesn’t know where she stands with WOW after the Ross Mathews situation, but she’s being a “good girl” and seems like she would return if they let her. Loosey thinks she might need a couple years before returning.
• Batty Davis has had lip injections, her lips are now so big she can’t whistle anymore.
• Naysha is not tucked.
• Loosey said production would constantly ask her to talk about how many challenge wins she had in her confessionals, including minis.
• Naysha says she was too honest in her confessionals for AS8, which is why production didn’t use them. She says if production wanted her to “play ball” with them, she would be willing to do so. She says she just wishes production would tell her “Naysha I need you for two episodes, be ready for two episodes” instead of letting queens spend all their money on the show for no reason. She begins to insinuate that the queens who filmed the Fame Games were not paid for their time, but then brings up her NDA and stops talking.
• Naysha asks the guests about the recent Yvie drama, and reaffirms what Yvie said about production being rich while the queens are underpaid, saying that the Drag Race parking lot has lots of expensive cars in it.
• Naysha says she loves Jaymes Mansfield, despite what the audience thinks.
• Salina says the S15 queens were not allowed to impersonate Drag Race queens for Snatch Game.
• Loosey’s back-up Snatch Game was Ellen, she also had two other characters lined up which weren’t allowed by production. Salina’s back-up was a horny Mother Theresa.
• Loosey used to do stand-up comedy before Drag Race.
• Salina has been releasing episodes of her novella on YouTube, she says she asked “every freaking Latina drag queen” to star in it, including Alexis Mateo and Jessica Wild. She then looks at Naysha and says “did I ask you?”. Salina didn’t.
• Salina brings up Jaymes’ new Spanish song, and Naysha says “Jaymes just came out as Mexican”. The crowd goes wild. Naysha says Jaymes watches Roscoe’s, and that Jaymes just unfollowed her, and followed her again. Naysha says “Jaymes don’t you dare fucking unfollow me I love you!”
• The queens and most of the crowd did not understand the Golden Girls references in Alexis’ Snatch Game.
• Salina refers to the ‘Snatch Game of Love’ as “The Snatchelor.”
• Naysha says she is going to email production to check if she was meant to prepare a Snatch Game as part of The Fame Games. She says she already has a photoshoot planned as her Snatch Game choice, it’s someone everyone will know, but “you really don’t know what their behaviour was like” so she was able to create her own character for them.
• Salina “hates” track records, and said she would play strategically on All Stars.
• Off-camera, on the first day of AS8, two queens pulled out the exact same costume from their luggage. Naysha says the same designer made both of them, not realising they were for All Stars. The designer ended up calling one of them asking them to return it in exchange for another costume, but this didn’t end up happening. Naysha says one of these runways did get used by a queen on the show, she doesn’t reveal the identity of this queen, saying she is a future Roscoe’s guest and we will find out more then.
• The queens were all living for the drama this episode, and all commend Heidi for leaving on her own terms.
• Naysha says after Heidi cast her vote to eliminate Monica on the first elimination day, Heidi came out of the voting booth “bawling” saying “I hate this, I didn’t think we were gonna have to do this, we came from such a beautiful season and now we have to vote our sisters off, I hate this.”
• Naysha says Heidi is in a great place now, even if it took a while to get there. Heidi will be a future Roscoe’s guest this season.
• Batty brings up the story of Salina ripping up Loosey’s photo in the confessional. Loosey says the next day the photo was put back up on the confessional room wall held together by tape. Salina wrote Loosey a note after being eliminated which cleared the air and they have been all good with eachother since.
• Naysha thinks Heidi’s best Snatch Game moments may have been shown, and Jessica’s worst Snatch Game moments may have been shown, implying she thinks they edit they received may not reflect the reality of their performances.
• Loosey’s favourite colour is teal.
• An audience member ask the queens who the last person they would invite to their home for a BBQ would be from their Drag Race season. Salina says Irene, Loosey says Mistress, Naysha says Derrick.
• Salina auditioned for Survivor and Drag Race at the same time, and says she would love to do Survivor, especially with Monet X Change. She also comments on Jeff Probst’s massive penis.
• Salina knew Ariana was going to be on Season 15 before filming as they are friends, Salina was disheartened when Ariana entered the workroom in the other premiere, knowing production could’ve set up a moment with them together and chose not to.
• Next week’s guest is Kahanna Montrese.

• Link to this week's Roscoe’s Viewing Party on YouTube
• Previous Roscoe's Recaps: E1&2, E3, E4

At Royal Rumble 2023, Asuka returned after a brief hiatus, sporting a deranged look reminiscent of her days as Kana. And since that point, the Empress of Tomorrow has solidified her powerful aura, winning the Elimination Chamber match and avenging her disappointing loss to Bianca at WrestleMania 39 by dethroning the EST at Night Of Champions. And while Asuka has been Raw Women’s Champion before, this time feels…different…
Monday Night Raw (5/29/23):
Following Night of Champions with the crowning of Asuka, it would appear the landscape of the women’s division has changed. While some individuals are surely eager to go after singles gold, this isn’t initially the case for the Way. In a backstage interview with Byron Saxton, Candice LeRae and Indi Hartwell express their desire to go after the Women’s Tag Team Titles, only to be interrupted by the lunatic duo of Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville. Deville tries to get under the skin of the pairing, particularly LeRae, mocking her struggles to get victories as of late. However, Candice retorts that Sonya and Chelsea haven’t done anything either, their only actual success as a duo being making Adam Pearce question his own sanity. After a few more moments of bickering, Green tries to slap LeRae, but Hartwell blocks it for her, shoving Chelsea to the ground. Sonya shoves Indi back, and Candice in-turn attacks Deville, forcing several officials to have to separate things.
This results in a singles match later in the evening between Deville and LeRae, with Sonya trying to make an example out of the “Poison Pixie”. It’s a fairly back-and-forth encounter, with LeRae starting the match off hot, but Sonya is able to adapt, using her MMA background to her advantage with increasingly strong shots. However, as Sonya gains control, her emotions also start to fluctuate a bit. Rather than just go for the win at points, she decides to inflict further damage, regularly targeting the right arm in particular with a combination of stomps and armbars. However, the turning point of the match comes when Deville kneels down, once again looking to apply some type of submission hold…only for LeRae to transition it into the Garga-No Escape! While Sonya doesn’t submit, it gives her enough breathing room to mount a comeback, eventually hitting her signature springboard moonsault to finish things.
Candice LeRae def. Sonya Deville via pinfall
After the match, Candice and Indi take a moment to celebrate the win…BUT HERE COMES ASUKA! The Raw Women’s Champion is in the building, and she looks as maniacal as ever. She makes her way towards LeRae…and offers a handshake? Candice is definitely hesitant to accept, and for good reason, as when she starts moving her hand out…ASUKA HITS HER WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK! Indi tries to avenge her downed partner, but Asuka takes her out with a spinning backfist. The Empress moves back towards LeRae, staring at the injured right arm…AND SHE APPLIES A VICIOUS ARMBAR, SNAPPING IT IN THE PROCESS! Asuka eventually lets go, with Johnny Gargano and a medical official coming out to tend to LeRae while Adam Pearce wants to know what’s wrong with Asuka…to which she merely replies with a sinister smile…
Monday Night Raw (6/5/23):
About half-way through the show, Johnny Gargano comes to the ring, ready to give an update on his wife Candice LeRae. He says that while LeRae is unable to compete, it’s only for a short period of time, and the fracture to her arm was small enough as to where she won’t require surgery. However, Gargano also says that LeRae wanted him to pass along a message…which is why he’s calling out Asuka to the ring! On cue, the Empress comes out, looking at Johnny Wrestling with a curious look. Gargano says that once upon a time, he and his wife both had respect for Asuka’s accomplishments, especially her record-setting run in NXT. However, with the actions of last week, they no longer have those sentiments, and when LeRae returns from this set-back, she’s challenging you for that Raw Women’s Title! As Gargano says this, Asuka just begins giving a deranged laugh. No one in the arena knows what to make of this…until Asuka picks up a mic…to simply say…bye bye…
As Asuka makes her way to the ring apron, Gargano is left staring in confusion at what transpired…but suddenly, the lights go out! When they turn back on…a trio of masked men are destroying Johnny Wrestling! He tries to fight back, but he’s just overpowered, and left to be stomped on as Asuka just watches on from ringside, enjoying the carnage. The biggest of the three hits Gargano with a top rope splash, before what appears to be the leader hits…a wheelbarrow neckbreaker. As the individual hits this, Asuka comes back into the ring, standing alongside the figures. She whispers something to them, and they move their hand to the top of the masks, pulling them off to reveal…IT’S SAnitY! Eric Young, Alexander Wolfe, and Killian Dain are all back in WWE, and it appears they’ve aligned themselves with the Empress of Tomorrow. But the question left to be answered… Where is Nikki Cross in all of this?
Monday Night Raw (6/12/23):
In a backstage segment early in the show, the camera shows Nikki Cross backstage, alone and looking down, drowning in her own crazed thoughts…until Eric Young enters the shot. Cross raises her head, looking expressionless while a smile slowly creeps across the face of Young. He asks her…
“Won’t you join us?”
However, before Nikki can answer…HERE COMES JOHNNY GARGANO! He dives at Eric, looking to get revenge on one of the men who decimated him the week prior. He’s successful initially, but soon enough, Wolfe and Dain rush in, prying Johnny off Young and starting to beat him down. Luckily for Gargano, he came prepared, as he too has backup in the form of Dexter Lumis! SAnitY backs off as Dexter comes in with a steel chair, but not before Young mouths the words…This isn’t over…
Monday Night Raw (6/19/23): Johnny Gargano and Dexter Lumis vs. Eric Young and Killian Dain
With the tensions continuing to rise between the Way and SAnitY, it was inevitable they’d have to square off at some point, and Adam Pearce decides to see if a tag match can resolve this. The match starts off with Gargano and Young, Johnny Wrestling anxious to annihilate him while Young is more amused than scared. Johnny is able to get the upper hand initially, a superkick giving him the brief opportunity to then apply a Garga-No Escape. However, Killian Dain breaks up the hold by just hitting a Senton on Gargano’s back, a tactical maneuver to give Young the chance to gain control. However, Lumis enters the ring as well, grabbing Dain and trying to set him up for a side slam. However, Killian avoids it, and the pair move to the outside of the ring to brawl. By the end of the match, Gargano is weakened, but he’s still got the power of adrenaline on his side. He’s able to tag in for Lumis, getting in a flurry of offense against the big man Dain, including a pair of superkicks to knock him off his feet. However, as he goes for the One Final Beat, Young grabs his foot by the ring apron, preventing him from springboarding into the ring. Gargano’s able to kick him away, but when Johnny does go for the maneuver, Dain catches him, planting him in the center of the ring. He follows up on it with a splash from the top rope, with Young tagging in as he does so. And with Killian shoving Lumis off the apron, Young is able to hit the Wheelbarrow Neckbreaker to finish the match.
SAnitY def. Johnny Gargano and Dexter Lumis
After the match, Asuka makes her way to the ring, standing alongside SAnitY once again. She looks at the downed Gargano, now with a disgusted look on her face rather than an evil grin. She turns to Young, who nods and motions for Dain and Wolfe to pick Johnny up. But right before Asuka can seemingly hit him with the Mist…Here comes Nikki Cross! She rushes to the ring, sliding in and looking right at Asuka as she does so. Young walks up to her, asking her the question…
“Are you with us, Nikki?”
Cross stares at Young for a moment…then to Wolfe…then to Dain…then to Asuka. It’s to the Raw Women’s Champion that she gives the longest stare, Nikki’s eyes slowly growing wider and her expression becoming more intense. And with that, she mutters just a few words…
“You hurt my friends…she hurt my best friend… now she will pay.”
And with that, Cross dives onto Asuka, unleashing a flurry of strikes and catching everyone in the ring by surprise. However, Young pries Nikki off of the Empress, to which Cross responds by starting to attack him! However, it’s short lived, as Asuka runs up behind Nikki and drops her with a roundhouse kick. She quickly gets her locked in a crossface chickenwing as well, Nikki unable to escape and ultimately passing out. Before she fades, she’s left to only see the disappointed looks on the face of the SAnitY members…”You made the wrong choice Nikki”. But the attention soon shifts back to Gargano and Lumis now. They’ve slowly risen to their feet, and Gargano, looking directly at Young, demands another fight! Young sighs, seemingly bored at the prospect of SAnitY having to dismantle those two again…but it shall be done. However, before they can move in for the kill, we suddenly hear crashes echo throughout the arena. They happen for a few seconds, before the lights dim slightly. An unfamiliar melodic theme starts playing, sounding slightly reminiscent of that of a final boss, but as the lights turn back on, it changes back into the more recognizable song…
…NO ONE WILL SURVIVE! IT’S TOMMASO CIAMPA! After being on the shelf for months, he’s finally back, and as he gets into the ring, he looks at Johnny Gargano…there’s no shortage of history here. And while there’s a momentary tension as to what he’s gonna do, he sides with his former DIY partner, making it a more fair fight! Unfortunately, he doesn’t get the chance to lay into any of SAnitY, as they decide to make their exit, already having made a statement with the victory and assault on Asuka, nothing more needed to be done…tonight, at least.
Monday Night Raw (6/26/23): Indi Hartwell vs. Asuka - Non-Title Match
In her first match since beating Bianca at Night of Champions, Asuka looks to prove why she’s the champion. She starts off the match well, not letting Indi get any momentum by just rocking her with a series of kicks to the chest. After dragging Hartwell to the outside, Asuka begins going after the arm, slamming it several times into the ring post before deciding to inflict some pain to the skull with a tiger suplex. This momentarily causes the ref to check on her, potentially looking to end the match…but Asuka isn’t willing to let that happen. She gets Indi back in the ring, lining her up for a running hip attack…BUT HARTWELL TRANSITIONS IT INTO A GERMAN SUPLEX! Despite having just been on the ropes, Indi managed to use what she had left in the tank to take down Asuka, and as she gets to her feet, she feels the crowd surging behind her. She starts taking it to the Empress, getting her backed into the corner and landing a few solid chops. However, she gets a bit overzealous, trying to get Asuka on the top rope for a potential suplex attempt, only for the former Kana to kick her away and land a knee directly to the back of Indi’s neck. And with that, Asuka remains in the power position, eventually locking on the same Armbar that injured Candice LeRae and forcing Hartwell to tap or get snapped.
Asuka def. Indi Hartwell via submission
But before Asuka really has a chance to even get up…HERE COMES NIKKI CROSS! She runs out with a kendo stick, furious as to what transpired the week prior, and gets in a few shots on Asuka before Alexander Wolfe attempts to pry the weapon away. In response, Nikki shoves it into his gut, before hitting him with a swinging neckbreaker and sending a message to Asuka that she’s just as much of a force to be reckoned with. And it’s later announced that this match has been declared official for Money In the Bank: let’s see if these two dangerous competitors can live up to their classic from NXT…
Money In The Bank (7/1/23): Nikki Cross vs. Asuka (c) - Raw Women’s Championship
Despite not having a stipulation like their Last Woman Standing Match in 2017, the match is still intense from start-to-finish. Cross runs at Asuka immediately, getting in some shots with the elbow to the side of the face. Asuka is forced to a sitting position, allowing Nikki to gather some steam from running along the ropes before landing a kick to Asuka’s jaw! Unfortunately for Cross, her frenzied nature ends up backfiring, as when the action shifts to the outside, Asuka dodges a running attack and sends Nikki nearly head first into the barricade! With Nikki instinctively grabbing her head after the missed maneuver, Asuka sees what to target, dragging Cross to the ring apron and repeatedly crushing her skull into the ring post. And as the action shifts back into the ring, it’s just more of the same, Asuka being momentarily hit by mini-bursts of offense, but the damage inflicted on the skull clearly affecting her. This is evidenced when Cross has Asuka lined up for the swinging neckbreaker, potentially able to get her the win…only to collapse before she can properly hit it. With that, Asuka is able to apply the Asuka Lock, and as happened a couple of weeks ago, Cross passes out in the hold.
Asuka def. Nikki Cross via submission pass-out to retain the Raw Women’s Championship
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
On the Raw after Money in the Bank, Candice LeRae would make her return from injury, calling out Asuka for a match…only to learn she isn’t in the building. But she decides to still issue a challenge, saying that while she wanted the Raw Women’s Title initially…now it’s about more than that. Asuka took out Candice’s friends and family, and left her away from the ring for too long…now, she wants to beat Asuka for vengeance first, gold later. And later on, it’s confirmed that the match will be taking place when Asuka returns…except it’ll be for the title as well! Pearce claims that the decision is due to Asuka’s recent actions, as after all, letting someone try to break someone’s limb after a match with no repercussions is a pretty bad look. But while this choice of action would normally upset some superstars…it might just put a smile on Asuka’s face…
Monday Night Raw (7/10/23): Candice LeRae vs. Asuka
Before making her entrance, Candice LeRae gets herself prepared with the rest of the Way, with Nikki Cross sitting in a corner nearby as well. Indi tells her to be cautious…Asuka’s a very dangerous competitor. LeRae of course knows this, but she’s caught off-guard by some words of wisdom from Nikki several feet away:
“Destroy her.”
Candice looks at Nikki, who’s staring back at her with something in her eyes…A look of needing something… wanting Candice to kill the Empress. LeRae nods, and she heads out to the ring, more confident than ever…And she truly gives it her all. LeRae’s strategy is simple: prevent Asuka from using her signature kicks. And for most of the match, she executes on her plan, moving herself back whenever she senses a roundhouse coming and catching Asuka off-balance. However, this was never going to last, and once Asuka lands a kick to the gut, she’s able to gather steam. And while this doesn’t finish LeRae, the “Poison Pixie” even managing to hit a springboard moonsault AND lock in a Garga-No Escape at various points, Asuka eventually locks in an Armbar on the previously-injured limb that Candice can’t overcome.
Asuka def. Candice LeRae via submission to retain the Raw Women’s Championship
After the match, the rest of the Way comes out, helping Candice to her feet. As they do so, Asuka stares at them, and then begins…counting them? The Way and the commentary team are confused, but as Asuka only counts four people…a maniacal expression overtakes her. She starts walking quickly to the back, and a few moments later, it becomes clear what her intentions were…
As the Way walks backstage, they’re horrified to discover a brutalized Nikki Cross! They rush over to her, asking who did this…and to no one’s surprise, she says it was Asuka. However, it soon becomes clear to Gargano…Ciampa might be next! While Indi and Candice stay with Nikki, Johnny (and Dexter to a lesser extent) start rushing through the halls, trying to get to the right locker room…but it’s too late, as SAnitY and Asuka are seen moving away from it! While Lumis stands guard, Gargano rushes inside, and finds Ciampa not just taken out…but also sprayed by Asuka’s mist! Johnny rushes over, giving Tommaso a towel, but as Tommaso wipes the mist off his face…there appears to be a dark look in his eyes, something not seen in him since when he destroyed DIY…
Remaining Build To SummerSlam:
While Ciampa, Gargano, and Lumis keep their attention towards SAnitY for a bit, Asuka shifts away from LeRae, Hartwell, and Cross, having beaten all three after all. With an open mic, she begins giving one of her standard energetic promos, seemingly wanting to know who her next challenger is gonna be…even though no one is ready for Asuka. It’s not long before someone interrupts though…and it’s someone who Asuka has grown familiar with in 2023…It’s Bianca Belair! The EST remained off television for several weeks following Night of Champions, but now, she’s back and angrier than ever. Bianca grabs the mic straight out of Asuka’s hand, and cuts a quick promo:
“Asuka… you say no one’s ready for you. But you’re wrong… because I’ve ALWAYS been ready for you. I proved that at WrestleMania 39, when I beat you clean in the center of this ring. And what did you do? You had to use that mist, that cursed, blinding mist. And you know what? Congratulations, it got you the title, but not for long. Because I say we have ONE MORE MATCH. But I think it’s time to have a match where no excuses can be made, and there are no rules to be broken. Asuka… At SummerSlam…I challenge you to HELL… IN A CELL!”
The crowd are clearly in favor of this stipulation…And it appears Asuka is too! She starts nodding repeatedly, and Bianca just stares on with a prepared look, perhaps fazed in the past by Asuka’s personality traits but now just ready to finally vanquish her and get the Raw Women’s Title back in her possession. In the remaining weeks, Bianca competes multiple times, getting the ring rust off with multiple victories, while Asuka is content with sitting at ringside for both contests…studying her competition…
SummerSlam (8/5/23): Bianca Belair vs. Asuka (c) - Hell in a Cell Match for the Raw Women’s Championship
We’ve finally made it to the Biggest Party of the Summer, and what better of a place to host it than in Detroit at Ford Field (definitely no bias as a Lions fan)! Once both Asuka and Belair are locked in the cage, the match starts at a feverish place, Bianca hitting a strong shoulder tackle only for Asuka to respond with a spinning backfist a few moments later! As the dust settles on the first fifteen seconds, the competitors look at each other, giving a momentary smirk and scoff apiece before continuing with the action. Bianca showcases her power, getting the Empress lifted in the Gorilla Press position and just hurling her at the cell wall! The several-foot fall to the floor certainly adds to the blow, and Bianca continues the assault outside the ring, slamming Asuka’s head repeatedly into the cage! However, she decides to look under the ring for a weapon, a table quickly catching her eye. She pushes it into the ring, but makes the mistake of turning her back to Asuka while doing so, the former Kana grabbing her from behind and hitting a Tiger Suplex onto the floor!
With Asuka now the lone woman standing, she follows up Bianca’s decision to look under the ring, pulling out a kendo stick. She feels it around in her grasp, getting a good feel for the damage she’s about to inflict. Once Bianca groggily gets to her feet, Asuka just decimates her back, hitting the stick ten times in immediate succession! However, Bianca’s able to dodge an eleventh shot targeted towards the throat, pulling the kendo stick to her and snapping it in half! Asuka looks briefly stunned, but not before she gives a condescending set of claps. In response, Belair grabs her, picking her up for a powerbomb and sending Asuka’s back to connect with the ring apron! Bianca then drags Asuka into the ring, proceeding to set up a table and initially primed to hit a K.O.D. through it. However, Asuka grabs Bianca’s hair, weakening her grip momentarily and presenting an opportunity to escape. Upon doing so, Asuka roundhouse kicks Belair, before getting her positioned on the table, climbing to the top rope…AND HITS A SPLASH ON BIANCA RIGHT THROUGH IT! 1-2-KICKOUT!
Despite the table spot being unable to put away Bianca, Asuka appears unfazed. She exits the ring, bringing a pair of steel steps back into the squared circle. Asuka picks Belair up, seemingly trying to hit a brainbuster on it…But Belair dodges, landing backwards on the steps before turning around and hitting a mini-elevated Spear! This leaves both women down for a few moments, but Bianca rises to her feet first. She gets in some of her signature offense, including a spinebuster on the steel steps! However, her attempt at a K.O.D. on the steps doesn’t work in her favor, with Asuka once again avoiding it. And unfortunately for Belair, Asuka is able to hit her with a suplex on the steps, this being the key factor for the rest of the match-up. With Bianca’s power lessened a bit AND Asuka’s submission hold targeting the back, she faces a tall task, and is ultimately unable to overcome it, the Asuka Lock resulting in a pass-out.
Asuka def. Bianca Belair via submission pass-out to retain the Raw Women’s Championship
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After an impressive victory at SummerSlam, Asuka has definitely proven that she’s going to be difficult to beat. But soon enough, she finds herself confronted by a potentially harmful numbers game…
Monday Night Raw (8/7/23): Damage CTRL Promo
Despite recent events not going so well for Damage CTRL, with Dakota Kai tearing her ACL and neither Iyo Sky nor Bayley able to capture the Money in the Bank briefcase, they’re still determined to get momentum back on their side. Bayley makes the bold decision to call out Asuka, saying that if she were actually a fighting champion, she’d consider accepting a match for the title. Asuka comes out, grinning at Bayley trying to goad her into a title opportunity. Asuka looks at Bayley as just another poor soul to be destroyed, but Iyo…Iyo has potential. Asuka even tells Sky…”Bayley isn’t your friend…but I am…”
This seems to get in Iyo’s head, as she begins looking questioningly at Bayley, who attempts to diffuse the situation by just pointing out Asuka being a freak who gets in people’s heads. In response, Asuka kicks Bayley square in the gut, and when Iyo instinctively goes to fight, Asuka shakes her head…I don’t want to fight you… You don’t need to be part of this…
Remaining Build To Extreme Rules:
Over the coming weeks, Bayley becomes a little more sympathetic, her intentions appearing less out of pure arrogance and more about striving to win championship gold back and improve her honor. She goes on a winning streak, but when confronting Adam Pearce about getting a confirmed title shot, he says there’s one more person she has to beat…Iyo Sky.
At this same time, Iyo looks perturbed whenever she’s on television, still at Bayley’s side but signs pointing to her being less convinced than when Damage CTRL began. And after Bayley does defeat Iyo to earn the #1 Contendership, Sky is just left sitting in the ring, staring down at the mat whilst utterly disappointed. Bayley offers her a handshake, but Asuka stands at ringside, motioning her to come roll out of the ring and stand tall with her. In response, Iyo moves in neither woman’s direction, rolling out to the entrance ramp and walking away alone, uncertain of what her future holds.
But with Extreme Rules approaching, there must also be a stipulation, and after a set of assaults from Asuka leave Bayley staring at the lights, Bayley decides it’s in both of their best interest to settle on…A Last Woman Standing Match! Asuka can try to keep putting her down, but she’s gotten back up each time, and come the PPV…The reign of the Empress will be history.
Extreme Rules: Bayley vs. Asuka (c) - Last Woman Standing Match for the Raw Women’s Championship
In a rematch of their TakeOver: Dallas encounter, the feel of the match is similar to what it was several years ago. Bayley, despite having been around in WWE longer, is the underdog, looking to prove herself against a terrorizing monster who we’re unsure can truly be beaten. The action quickly spills out of the ring, with Bayley even managing to hit a quick Bayley-To-Belly Suplex. Unfortunately, Asuka gets up before even a count of 5, disturbing Bayley. The action spills into the crowd for a while, with Asuka suplexing Bayley on the staircase and the former “Hugger” sent tumbling down for a solid five seconds. But eventually, Bayley recaptures the momentum, finding a trash can with weapons and using a kendo stick to start wailing on Asuka. And as the action approaches a set-up table, Bayley is able to not just prop her up on it, but successfully hit an Elbow Drop from a ledge through it as well! Bayley gets up at a count of three, and while Asuka is left stunned by the move, she recovers at a count of 8, continuing the match-up.
From there, the match spills back closer to the ring, with Bayley putting Asuka in the ring before grabbing a table. She sets it up, but Asuka manages to recover in time to avoid a Bayley-To-Belly through it, instead tossing Bayley to the side momentarily before going at her with a running hip attack. Asuka keeps control for a bit, but as she looks to put Bayley through the table…Here comes Iyo Sky! She slowly walks to the ring, not attacking Asuka initially, but giving Bayley enough time to send Asuka off the top rope and to the floor. However, with the action back on the outside, Asuka looks to be a bit desperate, using her signature Mist to blind Bayley! After this happens, Iyo rushes over to Bayley to try and help…But Bayley shoves her down hard to the floor, thinking it was Asuka! Meanwhile, the real Asuka appears behind Bayley, dragging her back into the ring. Asuka decides to lock on the crossface chickenwing, attempting to pass out Bayley, but this seems to only increase the fire in her spirit, Bayley able to back her into a corner to break the hold. Bayley rubs her eyes, improving her vision, and she drags Asuka to the table, seemingly able to hit the Bayley-To-Belly through the table this time…
…BUT IYO HITS BAYLEY IN THE BACK WITH A STEEL CHAIR FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! Bayley falls to her knees, slowly turning around with a look of heartbreak and pain on her face. Iyo returns the look with an icy cold stare, before Asuka pops-up behind Bayley, applying the Asuka Lock to pass the former “Role Model” out. But given this requires a ten count for Bayley to be down, and Asuka wanting to see what Iyo can do…she motions to the table. Iyo nods, getting Bayley set-up, climbing to the top rope, and hitting a Moonsault, crushing Bayley’s ribs, her friendship, and her hopes of winning the match in one fell swoop.
Asuka def. Bayley via KO to retain the Raw Women’s Championship
After the match, Sky raises Asuka’s hand, signifying the start of an absolutely lethal new duo in WWE…
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With Iyo Sky now having made her allegiance clear, Asuka would appear set-up to remain dominating moving forward. However, the enemies she’s made over the past several months aren’t so quick to forget what transpired, which could potentially create problems…
Build To Survivor Series:
Despite having already made an impact to this point, Asuka and Iyo Sky aren’t just going to put away challengers…it’s time to take out everyone. After a singles win on Raw, Becky Lynch would be blindsided by Iyo, being laid out with several shots of the Steel Chair before a Moonsault to cap things off. The following week, Bayley expresses her dismay at being left alone, to which Asuka and Iyo interrupt, immediately kickstarting a brawl that would seem to favor them once again…Until out comes Becky Lynch! Despite having been bitter rivals earlier in the year, Becky makes the save for Bayley, the pair nodding at each other afterwards to signify a slight respect…We don’t have to like each other… but there’s a bigger threat to be stopped…
But soon enough, this action spills past just being a two-on-two situation. Zoey Stark, the former tag team partner of Iyo Sky in NXT, decides that Becky didn’t suffer enough during their rivalry after helping Trish at Night of Champions, and that it’s worth it for these veterans like her and Bayley to be ousted. Along with that, Asuka’s power and general craziness draws the interest of the Unholy Union known as Alba Fyre and Isla Dawn, the pair pledging loyalty to The Empress and perfectly willing to destroy Becky and Bayley. However, there are several other competitors backstage sick of seeing Asuka gaining an army, with Bianca Belair and the Way coming to the save to help even the odds. And of course, after a brawl featuring all of these competitors, William Regal comes out briefly to make his patented announcement:
“WAR GAMES!”
To determine which team gets the advantage leading into Survivor Series, we get ourselves a strong match in Iyo Sky vs. Becky Lynch, really the catalyst of what’s led into a two-on-one situation into an upcoming 5v5 match inside a destructive steel structure. Becky more than holds their own, but Iyo Sky shines even brighter, a cheap shot by Stark eventually allowing Iyo to hit the Moonsault and give the “heels” the advantage.
Survivor Series: Bianca Belair, Bayley, Becky Lynch, Nikki Cross, and Candice LeRae vs. Asuka, Iyo Sky, Zoey Stark, Alba Fyre, and Isla Dawn - War Games Match
Kicking off the match is Zoey Stark and Becky Lynch, with Becky initially successful in getting Zoey downed, but Isla Dawn coming in presents a problem. She’s initially able to hold her off, but a chop block by Zoey Stark and a subsequent attack of the leg leaves Becky in a rough spot. She’s able to get some assistance, with Nikki Cross coming in with a trash can lid and just whacking Zoey and Isla around with ease. However, Alba Fyre is next to come out, and upon seeing Cross staring her down from inside the cage, she grabs a kendo stick, ready to defend herself. While Nikki initially gets the advantage, Stark and Dawn are able to pull Nikki back, sending her into the steel cage repeatedly. Bianca coming in next is a game changer however, the EST taking control of the match-up and getting a slight breather while awaiting the fourth competitor…which is Asuka!
But as the rest of the field comes in, with Asuka being the last entrant for her team and Bayley for the opposite side, the action starts to get more and more intense. With all of the competitors brawling in one ring, Iyo sees the chance to hit a Moonsault from the top of the cage, wiping out everybody (including herself)! However, a table being brought into the mix benefits the bayfaces, Bayley hitting Fyre with a Bayley-To-Belly through it (she finally got to hit it… just not on Asuka). However, the ending sequence comes down to Asuka and Iyo on their feet against Bayley and Becky, back where it essentially first started…AND IT ENDS WITH IO HITTING A MOONSAULT ON BAYLEY! 1-2-3!
Team Asuka def. Team Becky via pinfall
Just like that, Iyo Sky has once again proved her worth, defeating her former stablemate to win the match for her team and cementing herself as a force to be moving forward. And though a fairly small shot, we can see Asuka glance over at Iyo, a slight frown on her face for a moment before moving back to stand with the rest of her team. What could that mean…
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Build To Royal Rumble:
Despite the result of the War Games Match, Becky Lynch isn’t through with either Asuka nor Iyo by a long shot. She fights off both of them over the coming weeks, along with picking up several singles victory, establishing herself as the next #1 Contender. And as Lynch points out, she and Asuka have history at Royal Rumble. Asuka beat her in singles action in 2019…before Lynch went on to win the Royal Rumble and headline Mania. But this isn’t about the Rumble match now…it’s time to put away the Empress.
As for Iyo, she also has a run of singles success, carrying a lot of momentum heading into the Royal Rumble Match. And soon, we learn that she requested training from one of the most respected female competitors in the locker room, a former NXT UK Champion…Meiko Satomura! While Satomura doesn’t intend to compete right away, she’s more than willing to help Iyo, with vignettes being shown of them together and Satomura even being at ringside for her matches. However, as this keeps happening, Asuka’s looks towards Iyo become more and more strained. Sky is abandoning me… after all I did for her… something’s going to change soon enough…
Royal Rumble: Becky Lynch vs. Asuka (c) - Raw Women’s Championship
Earlier in the night, Iyo Sky does indeed win the Royal Rumble match, punching her ticket to WrestleMania. This doesn’t seem to affect Asuka’s thoughts however, the Empress looking as ruthless and as calculated as ever en route to using an Armbar to submit Becky after a pretty back-and-forth encounter. And while Asuka proved herself the master of the Armbar between the pairing, Iyo Sky coming out with Meiko Satomura to acknowledge the title win seems to aggravate something in Asuka. Her grin has become a definite frown, and she stares an icy dagger through the pairing. Something isn’t right here…
Asuka def. Becky Lynch via submission to retain the Raw Women’s Title
Build To WrestleMania:
In a conversation between Meiko Satomura and Iyo Sky on an episode of Raw, Satomura asks if Sky would be willing to use her Rumble Victory position to challenge Asuka. Sky doesn’t look too convinced about doing that, which Satomura says is fine, but it’s advisable to weigh all her options. However, in the background, Asuka can be seen, carefully listening to the conversation.
A week later, Satomura addresses the WWE Universe. She’s made the announcement that she wants to have one last run before she retires, and wants to face some of the best names this women’s division has to offer…which is why she’s challenging Asuka for Elimination Chamber! Asuka comes out, her face paint being more red than usual…but while it looks like she’s having to contain herself, she shakes Satomura’s hand, seemingly paying respect to a legend.
Elimination Chamber: Meiko Satomura vs. Asuka (c) - Raw Women’s Championship
Unfortunately for Satomura, this retirement run of sorts looked to hit the ground before it could even get going. While she catches the Empress off guard at the beginning of the encounter, as time moves on, Asuka appears to be getting more and more angry. This comes to a boiling point when after one Tiger Suplex, Asuka hits another…then another…then another…then another! The ref pleads for Asuka to quit the assault, which she does…only to pull a Bryan Danielson and just start repeatedly kicking Satomura in the face! This goes on for disturbingly long, and when it’s become clear that Satomura is passed out, the ref calls for the bell, him having made the discretion for the match to end.
Asuka def. Meiko Satomura via ref stoppage
After the match, Iyo Sky rushes to the ring, checking on the woman who’s helped her out tremendously over the past couple of months. Asuka looks down at Iyo, a look of disgust on her face, before demanding to know who Sky is facing at WrestleMania. And it better be a specific answer…
Iyo Sky: “I… CHALLENGE… YOU!”
The crowd roar in approval, Asuka somehow shocked initially…until a smile comes across her face. I’m not surprised you made that choice…but unfortunately, it’s the wrong one...it’s a shame this has to happen Iyo…so much potential…
WrestleMania 40: Iyo Sky vs. Asuka (c) - Raw Women’s Championship
Despite that inner monologue running through Asuka’s head at Elimination Chamber, Sky proves why she’s not to be taken lightly. On the Grandest Stage of them All, Iyo just looks…better. Having been around Asuka for several months, she knows the mechanics of her offense, doing a good job at avoiding those signature kicks while also having the speed advantage. And at the end of the match, Sky proves herself superior over The Empress of Tomorrow, hitting the second Moonsault of the match to pin Asuka, and end a spectacular title run while opening a new chapter for another one.
Iyo Sky def. Asuka via pinfall to win the Raw Women’s Championship

What are your thoughts on the LSA format we’ve had since AS5?
Personally, while it brings us amazing performances and it’s such a joy to see familiar faces back like Laganja and Aja, I wish they’d revert to the top two format.
I found seasons that had a top two format were so much more compelling for a few reasons. First, there were twice as many chances to “win” (factoring in that in AS2 girls would refer to “top” placements as if they were wins even without winning the lip sync). It makes the season more dynamic and allows more queens to pull ahead and be in the running.
Second, I find it more interesting to see people actually in the running lip sync. I want to see them scrap it out, as opposed to wheeling out someone who isn’t competing and who, especially this season, is likely unbeatable by most of the cast.
And lastly, there’s more drama. The jury vote kinda added drama at the start, but I don’t think it does now because the responsibility of the vote is shared and almost immediately forgotten.
Anyway, like I said I do see it merits, maybe just for a couple of seasons instead of the “new normal”
What are your thoughts? TLDR I like it but I find it more interesting when competing queens have more chances to win and to perform.

Welcome to June, and also the latest Project: Gorgon update! This update contains a new much-requested skill, Angling, as well as new UI features, quests, balancing, and a ton of bug fixes.
Bugs!
Update: the following are known bugs in this update -- no need to report them. If you see OTHER bugs, please report them!

• Animal forms are able to angle - kind of - and that is unintentional. Angling is intended to require hands.
• The Angling ability 'Catch and Release' gives 25% XP, not 25% bonus XP.
• You can target certain angling fish before they exist. You shouldn't be able to target them at all.
• Some of the angling abilities have old test descriptions.
• The new AoE indicator doesn't display in some outdoor areas.

Main Story

We've expanded the main story quest-line by a few steps. If you've already reached the point in the storyline where you were asked to have dinner with Jessina (via a hang out), the hang out is now available, and you should log in to see that your character has a "reminder quest" to hang out with Jessina.

New Camera Types

Players come to us from different games with different control schemes and camera views, and they often ask us if we can imitate the camera styles they're used to. So we gave it a try! We know that getting movement behavior just right can be tricky, so please give us feedback on how these work for you.
There are now 3 camera types to choose from, located in Settings > Controls:

• Traditional Camera: How the camera has always worked. Right-click rotates your character, left-click rotates only the camera. Mouse is always available.
• Free Camera: Camera control is completely separate from character control. Mouse is always available.
• Action Camera: Mouse movement always controls character. Mouse cursor is only available when a UI window is open, or when the Toggle Cursor key is pressed (configurable). NOTE: only available in the new selection system!

AoE Visibility

Area-of-Effect abilities that are centered on the caster now have a visualization for their range.

• When an ability is used, the AOE range briefly displays on the ground as a circle.
• When an AOE ability icon is hovered over, its AOE range displays on the ground for as long as it's hovered over.
• Visibility is configurable via Settings > GUI > Windows & HUD > Abilities & Items > "Show Beneficial AOE Areas" & "Show Detrimental AOE Areas". By default they are "Party Members Only" & "Self Only" respectively. Detrimental enemy AOEs will always display.
• Many "aura"-type pets display their aura ranges in a similar fashion, such as a druid's Healing Sanctuary or a fairy's Fae Conduit. These should also follow the visibility settings described above.
• Note: as of this update, all AoE abilities are centered on the caster, except for two Weather Witching abilities that are explicitly centered on the target. Previously, all AoEs were centered on the target, but the game didn't say that anywhere, and most players assumed it was centered on the caster! So this seems much more intuitive. But if there are specific AoE abilities that you feel should be centered on the target instead of the caster, please let us know and we'll consider it.

Angling

Traditionally, fishing in Project: Gorgon has involved scooping fish up out of the water with your bare hands -- what we might call 'tickling' the fish. And that's fine, as far as it goes. It takes real skill! But not all fish can be caught this way. (And more importantly, players have told us that an MMO "needs" to have traditional fishing in order to feel like a complete MMO.)
So we've expanded Fishing with a new sub-skill: Angling. All you need is a fishing pole, some bait, and a body of water with catchable fish. (Also Fishing 15. And hands!) In order to get started, talk to Roshun the Traitor in Serbule.
The precise mechanics of Angling aren't spelled out in the game at the moment. Since this game focuses on exploration, we expect players to be able to figure out how Angling works. Please let us know what parts of the system were hard to figure out, and we'll work to make those bits more obvious.

Skills & Abilities

From here out (and probably through the rest of beta), we'll be making small balance changes. We don't want to overnerf/overbuff things, so most changes will be relatively modest, and then we'll re-evaluate and adjust further after more observation.
Warden:
We've revised the formulae used for damage reflection, which resulted in nerfs to Privacy Field. On the other hand, multiple bug fixes actually increase the Warden's power significantly in other ways.

• Privacy Field abilities: reduced base ability damage (Privacy Field 5 changed from 196 -> 138)
• Treasure: "Privacy Field deals +60 damage to all melee attackers, and the first melee attacker is knocked away": 60 => 42
• Treasure: "Privacy Field also deals its damage when you are hit by burst attacks, and damage is +86": 86 => 47
• Treasure: "Privacy Field also deals its damage when you are hit by ranged attacks, and damage is +57": 57 => 48
• Treasure: "When Privacy Field deals damage, it also ignites the suspect, dealing 156 damage over 12 seconds": => 156 => 80. Note: previously this effect did not work at all, so this is technically a huge buff, not a nerf!
• Treasure: "While Privacy Field is active, melee attacks that hit you have a 100% chance to restore 20 Power to you" : 100% chance => 75% chance. Note: previously this effect did not work at all, so this is technically a huge buff, not a nerf!
• Treasure: "Apprehend deals +48 damage and hastens the current reuse timer of Controlled Burn by 2 seconds (so it can be used again more quickly)" : 2 seconds -> 1.5 seconds. Note: previously this effect did hasten Control Burn at at all, so this is technically a huge buff, not a nerf!
• Controlled Burn: area-of-effect reduced from 15 meters to 10 meters.
• Aggression Deterrent: area-of-effect reduced from 10 meters to 6 meters.

Weather Witch:

• New ability Summon Sandstorm: This is a variant of Summon Tornado intended to be more convenient in groups. It does not knock back foes, instead dealing bonus Armor damage. All tiers of this ability can be learned from the Sand Seer in Ilmari.
• New rare ability Summon Doomstorm: This is a variant of Summon Tornado. It does not knock back foes. Instead it deals Darkness damage. Damage is improved over base version. This pet is marked as undead for purposes of ability targeting. In other words, heals that don't work on undead don't work on this pet either. Buffs that work on undead DO work on this pet. For now, all tiers of this ability can be found as loot scrolls.
• Fixed bug that caused high-level summoned tornados to move incredibly fast. Normalized tornado speeds.
• Summoned tornadoes accidentally had vulnerability stats for Cold Spheres. They now correctly have vulnerability stats for Tornadoes.

Giant Bat:

• "Your Confusing Double deals +67% damage with each attack": 67% => 45%
• "Confusing Double summons an additional figment. Each figment deals +77 damage with each attack": 77 => 50
• "Confusing Double Reuse Timer -15": -15 => -10

Fire Magic:

• "Fire Breath hits all targets within 8 meters and deals +30.5% damage, but reuse timer is +3 seconds and Power cost is +33%" => "Fire Breath hits all targets within 8 meters and deals +60 damage, but reuse timer is +3 seconds and Power cost is +40"

Settings

• The "Reset" button in Settings now resets the currently-selected tab to its default settings. The old functionality, undoing all current changes, is still doable by simply closing the window.
• Added new experimental settings for Tab Targeting. You can find them in settings under GUI > Targeting > Tab Targeting (Experimental).
  • Combat Range: Control the max range of tab targeting when you are in combat.
  • Combat Lock: If your current target is in combat, only other in-combat enemies will be targeted via tab, unless none are in view.
  • Prioritize Unlooted Corpses: When tabbing through corpses, should all un-looted corpses be targeted before looted corpses?
  • You can now tab through targets as quickly as you can press the button.
• Overwriting a keybind that's already bound now shows a confirmation prompt, including the name of the keybind being overwritten.
• Reorganized and renamed several Settings, to make them more intuitively grouped and easier to find.

UI Changes

• "Controls" settings have been organized into Camera & Character controls, with sub-menus.- Allow clicking through entities in the new UI, similar to how it works in the old UI. If you click on something that's already selected, it selects the entity behind it (if there is one).
• Reduced precision of click-selecting entities, so they can be selected without hovering directly over them.
• All stat bars (and globes) now smoothly animate when they change, instead of statically changing to the new value.
• Item stack size font now resizes properly for vaults (including saddlebag).
• Fixed nameplate placement for mounted humanoids.
• Fixed bug causing mouse cursor to disappear completely if mouse-dragging while zoning.
• Fixed bug that caused very large tooltips not to display sometimes.
• Removed hover-text about avatar portraits coming soon -- because they're here now! We live in the future!
• Ability tooltips now display Special Values before Special Info, as those make more sense grouped together with the other numerical data.
• Polished the lootable-corpse particles a bit.
• Nameplates now fully fade out with distance instead of just the names.
• Better handling of left-clicking nothing to deselect your current target.
• Improved display of Crafting button when no hotkey is assigned.
• Fixed quest window display bug when objective count number was very large.
• Removed the "1" from the item slot in the bug report window.
• Fixed bug causing stack sizes of items in the sidebar to get out of sync.

Graphics & Animation

• Wolves & cows now animate at proper speed when going up and down hills.
• Replaced wolf's Hunting Speed animation with a howl animation.
• Polished bard animations, so they flow together better now. The play-lute animation now always plays when you are playing a bard song, even if you use other abilities while playing the song.
• Improved instrument-playing animations.
• New VFX (animations, particles, & shader effects) for all Battle Chemistry abilities.
• You can no longer auto-move while jumping. Doing so previously resulted in some very strange-looking animations.
• Fixed weird animation bug when trying to do certain things while sitting or kneeling.
• Failure to interact with something now returns the player to idle stance.
• Fixed bug with Thentree armor causing weird shadows on male characters.
• Mage Armor is now more polished, a bit darker, and has glowier gems
• Fixed bug that would cause a dancing pig's mud to stick around forever.
• Fixed bug where mounting while dancing would continue some dancing effects.
• Improved texture for Spring Fairy armor.
• Fixed face cam for Pigeons.

Other Bug Fixes & Tweaks

• Some legacy equipment that should have been Mastercrafted wasn't. Those items should be fixed now.
• When you un-legacy equipment by pulling an invalid power off of it at the transmutation table, the legacy and broken state of that equipment is now properly updated.
• Fixed bug allowing recipe items to be summoned from anywhere.
• Updated Shadow Feint tooltip to display the correct AOE distance for blinking back to position.
• Phrenology-based Mentalism & Psychology bonuses to critical chance now properly affect heals.
• Improved logic related to channeling abilities; this should hopefully fix stuck-in-channel bugs.
• Modified Mutation Injection ability descriptions to make it a bit clearer how they work.
• Lycanthropy ability "Become Wolf": the skill check to disable wolf mode is no longer downleveled when your combat skills are downleveled.
• Newly learned abilities, Wild Endurance, & First Aid should now correctly auto-rerank.
• Dying by falling through the world now shows a special button in the death window, "Teleport to Last-Touched Ground", which teleports your dead body to the last ground you were standing on. While this isn't an ideal solution, it should allow you to be revived in party situations
• Fixed bug causing skeleton warrior pets to repeatedly retreat a short distance when fighting something.
• Astounding Cloth Shirt (Max-Enchanted) and Camouflaged Astounding Shirt (Max-Enchanted) recipes now require the correct ingredients.
• Pressing spacebar while in an animal-mount form will no longer play the horse neighing sound.
• Fixed typo in Evasion Boots (Enchanted) recipes.
• Changed icon color for Acid Bomb to more of an acid-y color (and match the new VFX).
• Acid Boost Potion recipe now correctly states that it lasts 30 minutes.
• Fixed typo in quest "Holistic Wellness: Yarn" (twelve -> twenty-four balls of yarn).
• The tsys mod, "Psi Health Wave grants all targets +X Mitigation vs. Electricity, Acid, and Nature attacks for 20 seconds" now displays in the effects list when it's active.
• Fixed Dwarven Fixer causing screen brightness (instead of hiding it).
• "Toxic Flesh" tooltip now takes poison damage buffs into account.
• Using Objective Orienteering on "The Borghild Lead" quest now leads to the correct area.
• Fixed typo in quest "The Borghild Lead" (south -> north).
• Harry now hints more strongly that his Minor Panacea will not cure ALL curses, just a specific one.
• The quest "Goblin Avenger: Ratkin!!!" now correct gives 10 Xedrite.
• JSON users: Note that in skills.json's level-up rewards, "Ability" can now refer to a single ability or an array of abilities.

For anyone in town for the summer who's looking for events to enjoy this weekend, here's 25 local events you can enjoy and participate in on Saturday & Sunday.
1. 2023 Pulaski County Spring Flea Market New River Valley Fairgrounds, Dublin Saturday, June 3, 2023 and Sunday, June 4, 2023, 7:00 AM - 5:00 PM Admission: $2.00, Kids 6 and Under: Free The Dublin Lions Club presents the 2023 Pulaski County Spring Flea Market celebrating 48 years. With over 20,000 visitors and 700 vendors spaces, more than a dozen different food vendors offering varied food options and the chance to eat a few of the famous "Lion Dogs", you will not want to miss this event. Check out vendors with crafts, antiques and more at the semi-annual Pulaski County Flea Market. Although over 100 spaces are under roof, it is a largely an outdoor event. The terrain is varied from asphalt, gravel and grass. Parking is free. All proceeds go to the Dublin Lions and their numerous community causes such as eyeglasses for the needy and hunger relief in the community. The event is rain or shine. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708165
2. Kunga Fest 2023: Two-Day Donations Yoga Festival In Balance Yoga Studio, Blacksburg Friday, June 2, 2023, 4:00 - 10:00 PM and Saturday, June 3, 2023, 8:30 AM - 5:00 PM Yoga classes and events are by donation. In Balance Yoga Studio presents their 10th Kunga Fest, a two-day Donations Yoga Festival with 100% of the donations donated to directly support the Homes of Hope Orphanage in India. Homes of Hope is a safe space for orphaned, abandoned, or trafficked young girls in India. In Balance Yoga is offering 15 donation-based classes throughout the two-day event. Hot yoga, ariel yoga, yoga classes with live music and gentle flow, are just some of the options offered. A silent auction will also be offered with bidding open until 6:00 PM on Saturday, June 3rd. Over 20 items are in the auction including a private ariel yoga session, a one-hour reiki session, an acupuncture session and more! Yoga classes and events are by donation though registration is required. Membership is not required to attend however new students will have to create an online profile in order to register. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708207
3. National Trails Day: Appalachian Trail Volunteer Trail Work Pearis Cemetary / Appalachian Trailhead Parking, Pearisburg Saturday, June 3, 2023, 9:00 AM - 4:00 PM Admission: Free The Outdoor Club at Virginia Tech is hosting Appalachian Trail Volunteer Trail Work for National Trails Day meeting at the Appalachian Trailhead Parking at Pearis Cemetary. The first Saturday of June each year is designated as National Trails Day, a day to celebrate our National Trails. There are a variety of volunteer opportunities available throughout the Trail. Essential trail maintenance helps protect natural resources and improves the hiking experience. Activities planned for the day include removing tress that have fallen across the Trail and are obstructing its path, cleaning out water bars and other trail tread structures of debris so that they can effectively divert water from the Trail and continue to help reduce erosion, as well as trimming back woody bushes that might be encroaching on the sides of the Trail. This work will be taking place on Hemlock Ridge, the stretch of Trail between the Celenese plant and Clendennin Road. There will be a shuttle planned to allow for a 3-mile hike through, performing work along the way. No previous experience required and all ages are welcome. The club will provide tools, training, and personal protective equipment. While it is free to volunteer, registration is required to ensure enough supplies will be available. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708056
4. American Red Cross Blood Drive with Brunch Meadowbrook Public Library, Shawsville Saturday, June 3, 2023, 9:00 AM - 2:00 PM Admission: Free Meadowbrook Public Library and the Meadowbrook Center hosts an American Red Cross Blood Drive. Help save a life by donating blood. Brunch will be provided for donors and they may select a used book to take home. Books compliments of Friends of the Library-Meadowbrook Chapter. The blood drive is sponsored by Craighill Masonic Lodge and Meadowbrook Library. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708083
5. CIMA Open House Christiansburg Institute Museum and Archives, Christiansburg Saturday, June 3, 2023, 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM Admission: Free Christiansburg Institute Museum & Archives staff will lead museum guests on a behind the scenes tour of our archives and explain the digitization process. Explore the history of Christiansburg Institute and African American history in Southwest Virginia. No registration is required. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708171
6. Survival Skills Workshop Series: Part 2: Edible and Medicinal Plants Pulaski County Library, Pulaski Saturday, June 3, 2023, 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM Admission: Free The Pulaski County Library continues their Survival Skills Workshop Series with "Part 2: Edible and Medicinal Plants". Learn about edible and medicinal plants and enjoy some pine needle tea. Join them to learn important survival skills from a Claytor Lake ranger. This is the second part of a four-part course that will help you to brush up our survivalist knowledge and skills. All are welcome but these will be gauged for adults. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=707463
7. 2023 Gospel Sing St. Luke and Odd Fellows Hall, Blacksburg Saturday, June 3, 2023, 12:00 - 4:00 PM Admission: Free Blacksburg Museum and Cultural Foundation presents the annual Gospel Sing. The afternoon will be filled with singing, dancing, and fellowship as six local groups including Simple Gifts, Indian Run, Glorylanders and soloists perform their favorite current and old-time gospel favorites. Food and beverage will be available for purchase. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708172
8. Historic Smithfield's June Crafters' Stitch Along Historic Smithfield, Blacksburg Saturday, June 3, 2023, 12:00 - 3:00 PM Admission: Free Historic Smithfield presents June's Crafters' Stitch Along. You don't have to stitch to participate. Bring whatever craft you would like to work on and feel free to bring your paints, pencils, hooks, yarn, needles or fabric. This event is free to attend though pre-registration is appreciated. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708189
9. Music at the Villa with Craig Vaughn Villa Appalaccia Winery, Floyd Saturday, June 3, 2023, 1:00 - 4:00 PM Admission: Free Relax and enjoy some great music along with great wine and food. Craig Vaughn is a musician that combines extraordinary musicianship with heavy-duty fun. His high energy blend of rock, blues, pop and acoustic music equals unforgettable moments for audiences. He seamlessly goes from playing Bob Marley to The Eagles to Johnny Cash to Tom Petty to Ed Sheering to Journey to Newgrass to The Steve Miller Band without missing a lick. Kids and well-behaved dogs welcome. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708180
10. Genealogy Saturdays Alexander Black House & Cultural Center, Blacksburg Saturday, June 3, 2023, 1:00 - 4:00 PM Admission: Free Ancestry experts will be on hand to assist you as you explore your family tree. Come with questions about research and discovering your roots. Join them on the first Saturday of every month for Genealogy Saturdays. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708173
11. Puzzle Swap Christiansburg Library, Christiansburg Saturday, June 3, 2023, 1:00 - 3:00 PM Admission: Free Bring your puzzles to swap for new-to-you puzzles. Please make sure that all pieces are there. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708134
12. June 2023 Cruiser Night Scoops Arcade, Pembroke Saturday, June 3, 2023, 5:00 - 8:00 PM Admission: Free Scoops Arcade continues their Cruiser Nights on Snidow Street in downtown Pembroke, VA. Show off your classic, modified, or new cars, trucks and bikes. Ride in style down the street and/or park and enjoy the atmosphere and oldies music. All vehicles and spectators are welcome. Hotdogs, corndogs, pizza, nachos, drinks and Scoops old fashion hand dipped ice cream and shakes will be available inside Scoops. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708196
13. Bobby and Blake Parker in Concert Rising Silo Farm Brewery, Blacksburg Saturday, June 3, 2023, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Rising Silo Farm Brewery presents Bobby and Blake Parker playing cozy folk music, blues and ragtime on 6- and 12-string guitar and more. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=707876
14. Chico and Willie in Concert Outerspace, Floyd Saturday, June 3, 2023, 6:00 - 9:00 PM Admission: Free Chico & Willie perform Americana music to make you smile outside at Outerspace. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708185
15. John McEuen & The Circle Band in Concert Floyd Country Store, Floyd Saturday, June 3, 2023, 7:00 - 10:00 PM General Admission: $38.00, Reserved Seating: $45.00 John McEuen has performed for 50 years worldwide with his banjo, fiddle, guitar, and mandolin. Often referred to as ‘the String Wizard’, he humorously weaves stories of his travels and family life (he has raised 7 kids), taking us on a multi-media show through where his musical path has taken him. A founding member of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band in 1966, John realized his teenage dream: to record with Earl Scruggs and Doc Watson. When he initiated the 1972 classic "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" album with his band the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Earl and Doc with Roy Acuff, Mother Maybelle Carter, Jimmy Martin, Merel Travis, Vassar Clements, Norman Blake gathered for an historic week in the studio. The album has been inducted in to the Library of Congress as "one of America’s most important recordings" and the Grammy Hall of Fame. John has continually performed since 1963, doing over 11,000 concerts, 300 television shows, 10,000 interviews and flown more than 4 million miles. McEuen’s rich history of creating, producing and preserving original and traditional folk music earned him the 2013 Charlie Poole Lifetime Achievement Award. He has made over 46 albums (7 solo) that have earned four platinum and five gold records, multiple Grammy Awards and nominations, CMA and ACM awards, an Emmy film score nomination, IBMA record of the year award, and performed on another 25 albums as guest artist. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=707453
16. The CC Coates Band in Concert Dogtown Roadhouse, Floyd Saturday, June 3, 2023, 8:00 - 11:00 PM Admission: $8.00 The CC Coates Band performs blues, soul and rock n roll. Sung by the real deal and backed by a hell of a band. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708190
17. 2023 Check Farm Trail Downtown Check, Check Sunday, June 4, 2023, 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM Admission: Free Floyd Country Tourism presents the 2nd Annual Check Farm Trail at seven participating farms and businesses throughout Check, Virginia including Lil Valley Farm, Weathertop Farm, Grateful Produce, I-Tal Acres, Seven Spring's Farm and The Soup Shop. This family-friendly experience is an up-close chance to learn about agriculture through demonstrations, tastings and farm tours and more. Food and/or products will be available for purchase at most of the farms and businesses. Times and available hours vary by farm and tour stop. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708205
18. 2023 Rotary Club of Floyd Dog Show Warren G. Lineberry Memorial Park, Floyd Sunday, June 4, 2023, 12:15 - 3:00 PM Dogs: $5.00 entry per class, Spectators: Free though donations encouraged The Rotary Club of Floyd County presents their 4th Annual Rotary Dog Show. Bring your dog, puppy, and/or faithful canine friend to compete in one or more of the dog show classes and ribbons will be awarded for each class. Classes for Dog Show include Best Tail, Best Treat Catcher, Best Smile, Best Owner-Dog Look-a-Like Contest, Best Trick, Cutest Puppy Under One Year Old, Best Bark, Best Mixed Breed Dog, Best Purebred Dog, Best Child Handler Under 12 Years Old and more. All dogs must should be on a short leash and up to date on vaccinations. The Humane Society will also have a table and possibly dogs to adopt. Adults and children ages 9 and older are welcome to participate with their dog in the various classes. Proceeds will be used to help build a dog park in Floyd. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708176
19. Music Jam and Car Cruise-In Wildwood Farms General Store, Floyd Sunday, June 4, 2023, 1:00 - 4:00 PM Admission: Free Enjoy a cruise-in with a variety of classic cars, motorcycles and other vehicles from 1:00-4:00 PM. All are welcome to bring their vehicles. And, bring your instruments and join in the music jam from 2:00-4:00 PM. Admission is free and all are welcome including non-musicians. The event is weather permitting. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708018
20. Clay Blevins in Concert Buffalo Mountain Brewery, Floyd Sunday, June 4, 2023, 1:00 - 4:00 PM Admission: Free Clay Blevins performs a signature mix of old and new country, pop and singer songwriter tunes. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708153
21. Book Club Meeting: Corkscrew Blacksburg Wine Lab, Blacksburg Sunday, June 4, 2023, 1:00 - 3:00 PM Admission: $40.00 Blacksburg Wine Lab presents their June Book Club Meeting featuring the book "Corkscrew" by Peter Stafford-Bow. Josh from Well Crafted Wine has picked this book specifically for the book club and will be hosting the event. The book includes a whole chapter on South Africa and Josh is inspired to share a tasting of his favorite bottles with participants from this region, along with a selection of crafted bites from Chef Bryan. The ticket price includes the wine tasting, book discussion and crafted bites to accompany the wine. RSVP is required. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708208
22. Matt Mullins in Concert Rock House Marina, Pulaski Sunday, June 4, 2023, 3:00 - 5:00 PM Admission: Free Matt Mullins performs multiple genres of music and now resides from Beckley, West Virginia after a stay in Southwest Virginia. A loud and sometimes profanity filled personality, you can't help but love to hate his shake, rattle, and roll nonsense. By spending the better part of the last decade creating songs with some of his favorite artists, (in particular The Boatmen) it has helped shape this songwriters methodology. Relating to back porch memories, and moving listeners to undoubtedly feel that he's got music in his bones. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708090
23. Sunday Mountain Music Series with Kris Hale Mountain Lake Lodge, Pembroke Sunday, June 4, 2023, 4:00 - 6:00 PM Admission: Free Kristopher Hale is a native of Roanoke, Virginia. Currently a Adjunct Professor of Music at both Radford University and Lynchburg College in Virginia, he also teaches guitar and music theory privately throughout the New River Valley and Roanoke areas. He is a sought after performer, appearing in public and private events throughout Virginia playing classical music to The Beatles. Stop by Salt Pond Pub every Sunday starting Memorial Day weekend through Sunday, August 20th for live music and delicious food and drinks. Perfect for relaxing with the whole family (furry friends welcome too). Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=707866
24. Open Mic Night (Family Friendly and 18+ Segments) The Beast of Blacksburg Pizzeria & Bar, Blacksburg Sunday, June 4, 2023, 4:00 PM - 01:00 AM Admission: Free The Beast of Blacksburg Pizzeria & Bar kicks off their Open Mic Nights with two segments offering a full evening of local talent. From 4:00-8:00 PM, family friendly material will be performed and then from 9:00 PM - 1:00 AM, the open mic is open to adult material for ages 18 and up. Note: Any group acts of more than two performers should message them on Facebook to make the necessary arrangements. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708201
25. Mist on the Mountain in Concert Palisades Restaurant, Eggleston Sunday, June 4, 2023, 5:00 - 7:30 PM Admission: Free Mist on the Mountain is an Irish Traditional Music group based in the New River Valley of southwest Virginia. From lively jigs and reels to heartbreaking laments and rollicking ballads, Mist on the Mountain provides great Irish music for any occasion. Reservations are not required, but recommended for dining area seating. Link: http://www.nextthreedays.com/FeaturedEventDetails.cfm?E=708177
Have a great weekend and thanks for reading!

Robert's Rebellion Theme Song: The Czar Mastodon

Don't stay; run away He has ordered assassination Don't stay; run away The henchmen are gathered and waiting Don't stay; run away Your role as usurper is found out

This is part of a series exploring the hidden motives and actions of the main players during Robert's Rebellion, named LBJ in reference to the influence of Lyndon B. Johnson and the Vietnam War on GRRM's views and writings on war. LBJ also indicates considerations over whether Lyanna + Bobby B = Jon Snow. Previous installments include:

• Rhaegar Had To Be A Warrior
• Why Did Rhaegar Crown Lyanna?
  • Ice, Ice Baby?
  • Political Suicide?
  • Was She 'A Very Kinky Girl'?
• The Forging of Lightbringer: Blue Flowers & Narrow Visors
• Rhaegar Mistakenly Crowned Lyanna
• I am not fond of fish, but when fish is served, I eat it.
• All is fair in love and war...
• Kingsguard Loyalty
• Southron Ambitions & Lies
• The Return of the Prince: Éowyn at the Trident
• Mirror on the Wall: King Robert vs. Queen Cersei

Previous parts argued that Robert Baratheon was complicit in a plot to overthrow the Targaryen dynasty. This scheme used Rhaegar's mistaken crowning of Lyanna at Harrenhal to form a believable, malicious lie that the crown prince abducted her. Certain members of the infamous STAB alliance, with assistance from the Martells and Tywin Lannister, all secretly conspired together to place a pliable pawn as king, wrestling control from a dynasty that no longer had dragons to enforce their rule. Lurid evidence was given which shows Robert had Rhaegar tortured, as Cersei tortured the Blue Bard, and we also saw more subtle hints that Lyanna herself attempted to avenge her family at the Trident, with the aid of innate skinchanging abilities.
This part aims to provide additional evidence that Robert lived up to his moniker, the Demon of the Trident, casting him as close to black as grey can get. King Robert is an avatar for all the worst flaws of Westerosi culture, a man enabled to wield massive power who yet skirted any sense of responsibility and chose to commit a mountain of moral transgressions in service to his personal desires.

Robert's face was dark with anger. "How many times must I tell you to hold your tongue, woman?"
Cersei's face was a study in contempt. "What a jape the gods have made of us two," she said. "By all rights, you ought to be in skirts and me in mail."
Purple with rage, the king lashed out, a vicious backhand blow to the side of the head. She stumbled against the table and fell hard, yet Cersei Lannister did not cry out. Her slender fingers brushed her cheek, where the pale smooth skin was already reddening. On the morrow the bruise would cover half her face. "I shall wear this as a badge of honor," she announced.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard X

The Horned Demon of the Trident

Next had come King Robert himself, with Lady Stark on his arm. The king was a great disappointment to Jon. His father had talked of him often: the peerless Robert Baratheon, demon of the Trident, the fiercest warrior of the realm, a giant among princes. Jon saw only a fat man, red-faced under his beard, sweating through his silks. He walked like a man half in his cups.

- A Game of Thrones Jon I
tenor.com/view/gaston-antlers-gif-23720815
Robert Baratheon bears a striking resemblance to Gaston from Beauty & the Beast, who imprisons his romantic interest and lies to incite violence against a rival. Gaston is driven by jealousy of the Beast and humiliation over Belle's rejection. Disney’s adaptation of Beauty & the Beast was released in 1991, just five years before A Game of Thrones was published.
Video: Gaston Beauty & the Beast
Video: George RR Martin on Writing for Beauty and the Beast
Martin has shown keen interest in Beauty & the Beast; adapting the tale for TV in the late 80s was a high point of his career. He even named his bookstore in Santa Fe Beastly Books, and named the cinema next door for Jean Cocteau, who also adapted the tale and created an earlier version of Gaston). This concept of kidnapping one’s romantic interest and blaming it on a rival to incite violence also crops up in The Princess Bride, which Martin has stated is his favorite fantasy film after the Lord of the Rings series.
Behaving like Prince Humperdinck from The Princess Bride or Gaston from Beauty & the Beast, driven by rage over the incident at Harrenhal and a family history of Targaryen betrayal, Robert lied about his queen of love and beauty and made Rhaegar out to be a beast, having them both kidnapped (with the help of his allies) but pretending otherwise as a pretext to win the throne. He then had to bury this secret, as he would lose support if it was known that the rebellion was built on such a malicious lie.
Martin is obviously inspired by Disney. In the last part, we showed how the torture of the Blue Bard, ordered by Cersei to extract a confession to undermine Margaery, is meant to reflect the story of Snow White, in which her vain and wicked step-mother is told by a magic mirror that the princess is more beautiful, leading her to send a huntsman to kill her. The huntsman takes Snow White into the deep of the wood but lets her flee, presenting a boar’s heart to the evil queen instead. Similarly, Robert is a huntsman who is killed by a boar, with the aid of strongwine supplied by his evil queen. Additional elements of Disney's Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs can be seen in parallels between Robert's only loss at Ashford and Dunk's trial at the Ashford Tourney in The Hedge Knight.
When Dunk travels to the Ashford Tourney, he recites lyrics from the Seven Dwarf's song Heigh-ho.

Off to Ashford to see the fair maid, heigh-ho, heigh-ho, Dunk thought miserably as he dug.

- The Hedge Knight
Like Snow White had Seven Dwarfs to defend her, Dunk defended himself in a Trial by Seven at the Ashford Tourney, and Rhaegar was accompanied by half a dozen companions when he went missing, enough to defend himself in a Trial by Seven. A troupe of a half dozen comic dwarfs also appear in The Mystery Knight, using pig bladders, like Robert was piss-drunk when he was killed by a pig. Dunk was championed by Robert's grandfather, Lyonel Baratheon, who defeated Robert Ashford during the tourney. Lord Lyonel later rebelled against the Iron Throne, after Duncan the Small betrayed the Laughing Storm by breaking off a betrothal to his daughter, similar to how Rhaegar betrayed Robert by crowning his betrothed at the Harrenhal Tourney. Duncan the Small's betrayal led Egg to arrange a marriage between his daughter Rhaelle and Lyonel's heir, which put Robert Baratheon in the line of succession; this family history would color Robert's perception of Rhaegar's betrayal, driving him to improve upon his grandfather's revenge.
Steffon was the name given to Robert Baratheon's father; Dunk was betrayed by red-apple Steffon Fossoway at Ashford, which led his cousin Raymun to create an offshoot branch, the green-apple Fossoways. A tender, protective Fossoway husband is used at the Purple Wedding to demonstrate how callous it would have been for Rhaegar to intentionally crown another women with his pregnant, delicate wife Princess Elia present. A poison apple brings down Snow White, after the evil queen discovers the huntsman replaced her heart with a boar's heart, conjuring up Robert's death scene which reminds Ned of his promise to Lyanna:

“Serve the boar at my funeral feast,” Robert rasped. “Apple in its mouth, skin seared crisp. Eat the bastard. Don’t care if you choke on him. Promise me, Ned.”
“I promise.” Promise me, Ned, Lyanna’s voice echoed.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XIII
"The quarrel between Green and Red Apple Fossoway in the Hedge Knight story is another example of 'discordant apples'... At a tournament of all places." - The Blue Rose of Discord by u/Bronze_Age_472

The reason for the Trojan War according to myth, was a beauty contest. Three contestants were seeking someone to judge their beauty; Hera, Athena and Aphrodite. Aphrodite won the contest, but only after she bribed Paris with Helen wife of Menelaus. Paris the judge, votes for Aphrodite by giving her an Apple. The other goddesses were furious and the conflict escalated out of control. The Greeks rallied around Menelaus and went to war with Troy.
The Blue Rose is a metaphorical "apple of discord". Like the apple of discord, it is nothing by itself, but in the right context leads to a larger conflict. It symbolizes how small things can create huge conflicts, how things quickly spin out of control. When Rhaegar gave the crown to Lyanna, nobody was happy... Just like the Judgement of Paris right before the Trojan War.

Like Rhaegar and Lyanna are often compared to Paris and Helen, figures of the mythical Trojan War, Robert is clearly meant to be considered relative to a maiden's fantasy, such as Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs or Beauty & the Beast:

Would that Ned had been able to say the same. Fifteen years past, when they had ridden forth to win a throne, the Lord of Storm’s End had been clean-shaven, clear-eyed, and muscled like a maiden’s fantasy. Six and a half feet tall, he towered over lesser men, and when he donned his armor and the great antlered helmet of his House, he became a veritable giant. He’d had a giant’s strength too, his weapon of choice a spiked iron warhammer that Ned could scarcely lift. In those days, the smell of leather and blood had clung to him like perfume.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard I
In the last part, we used the evil queen's magic mirror from Snow White to provide insight into Robert through Cersei. Like he projected Lyanna onto Cersei on their wedding night, Robert projects his own actions onto Rhaegar, while caressing the cheek of Lyanna's statue and secretly lamenting to himself that he was with her sexually just once:

The king touched her cheek, his fingers brushing across the rough stone as gently as if it were living flesh. “I vowed to kill Rhaegar for what he did to her.”
“You did,” Ned reminded him.
“Only once,” Robert said bitterly.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard I
This subtext is mirrored by Jon Connington's love for Rhaegar, as he laments that Rhaegar ass-ended his tower only once. Connington then states that all the women cried to Rhaegar's music, like Lyanna cried at Harrenhal, reinforcing the link between this passage and the scene in the crypts.

Yet when they parted, Jon Connington did not go to the sept. Instead his steps led him up to the roof of the east tower, the tallest at Griffin's Roost. As he climbed he remembered past ascents—a hundred with his lord father, who liked to stand and look out over woods and crags and sea and know that all he saw belonged to House Connington, and one (only one!) with Rhaegar Targaryen. Prince Rhaegar was returning from Dorne, and he and his escort had lingered here a fortnight. He was so young then, and I was younger. Boys, the both of us. At the welcoming feast, the prince had taken up his silver-stringed harp and played for them. A song of love and doom, Jon Connington recalled, and every woman in the hall was weeping when he put down the harp. Not the men, of course. Particularly not his own father, whose only love was land. Lord Armond Connington spent the entire evening trying to win the prince to his side in his dispute with Lord Morrigen.

- A Dance with Dragons The Griffon Reborn
Robert's false accusation of rape mirrors Lord Mathis Rowan's daughter's lie which landed Dareon, a singer and harpist, like Rhaegar, on the Wall.

It made her angry to see Dareon sitting there so brazen, making eyes at Lanna as his fingers danced across the harp strings.

_

He is a man of the Night's Watch, she thought, as he sang about some stupid lady throwing herself off some stupid tower because her stupid prince was dead. The lady should go kill the ones who killed her prince. And the singer should be on the Wall.

- A Feast for Crows Cat of the Canals
Jon Snow ends up at the Wall as an indirect consequence of Rhaegar being falsely accused of the rape of Lyanna. Jon later betrays the Watch to save (fake) Arya and is murdered as a result, like Arya murders Dareon for desertion; if she understood why Dareon took the black, maybe she'd be more forgiving of his betrayal. She might not be, because of the same conditioning that prevents Ned from showing mercy to Gared after he was chased south of the Wall by a direwolf. Likewise, if Rhaegar told Robert that he crowned Lyanna by mistake, Robert would still be unable to forgive the public humiliation he suffered as a result. And so despite Rhaegar's willingness to defend himself in a Trial by Seven, Robert went along with the rebel's plot to overthrow the Targaryen dynasty, which involved abducting both Rhaegar and Lyanna, and stashing her in a tower for the duration of the rebellion.

He found himself thinking of Robert more and more. He saw the king as he had been in the flower of his youth, tall and handsome, his great antlered helm on his head, his warhammer in hand, sitting his horse like a horned god. He heard his laughter in the dark, saw his eyes, blue and clear as mountain lakes. “Look at us, Ned,” Robert said. “Gods, how did we come to this? You here, and me killed by a pig. We won a throne together …”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XV
Horny as ever and near the tower of joy, travelling alone to maintain his secrets, Robert sought out his lady love after his only defeat at Ashford; fear of death has a way of driving men back into the womb. Robert claimed Lyanna at the tower she was imprisoned in, and she used his hunting knife, the one given to him as a gift from Jon Arryn, to defend herself.
Remember what Ygritte told Jon Snow, outside of the tower Queenscrown?

“A man can own a woman or a man can own a knife,” Ygritte told him, “but no man can own both. Every little girl learns that from her mother.”

- A Storm of Swords Jon V
https://preview.redd.it/eu2s4590dn3b1.jpg?width=953&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ccfb8d31abe50ef2b7c5201a7dd3addc95a2f02f

A teenage human trafficking victim who was initially charged with first-degree murder after she stabbed her accused rapist to death was sentenced Tuesday in an Iowa court to five years of closely supervised probation and ordered to pay $150,000 restitution to the man’s family.

Speaking of knives...
★ King Robert sent the Catspaw by u/M_Tootles:

• In this scenario, Robert’s “mad”, wine-soaked “master plan” was to arm his mercy-dealing catspaw with a Valyrian steel and dragonbone dagger for which he personally had no use but which he decided in his pie-eyed state would, when intentionally left at the scene of Bran’s unfortunate but ultimately justifiable end, look like the “signature” of a retribution-seeking Targaryen sympathizer, for It Was Known that the Targaryens hated not just Robert, but also Ned Stark, one of “the Usurper’s Dogs” whom they held personally responsible for the murder of Rhaegar’s children.
• And then there is the tourney he throws in honor of Ned, whose prizes just so happen to add up to exactly one thousand gold dragons for every silver stag the catspaw was paid, which looks an awful lot like the act of a man suffering from a guilty conscience. As does Robert drinking and hunting himself to death.

If blaming a Targaryen for his own misdeeds worked once, why wouldn’t Robert try it again?

This was something else: poison in the dark, a knife thrust to the soul. This he could never forgive, no more than he had forgiven Rhaegar. He will kill them all, Ned realized.

- A Game of Thrones Eddard XII
Sometime after his loss at Ashford, Robert appeared at Stoney Sept wounded and alone, while waiting for Ned to bring reinforcements from the North.

He had lost it all at Stoney Sept, in his arrogance.
Robert Baratheon had been hiding somewhere in the town, wounded and alone. Jon Connington had known that, and he had also known that Robert's head upon a spear would have put an end to the rebellion, then and there. He was young and full of pride. How not? King Aerys had named him Hand and given him an army, and he meant to prove himself worthy of that trust, of Rhaegar's love. He would slay the rebel lord himself and carve a place out for himself in all the histories of the Seven Kingdoms.

- A Dance with Dragons The Griffin Reborn
Robert fathered his bastard Bella in a brothel before the Battle of the Bells, a nod to Belle from Beauty & the Beast. This is just one of many acts that depicts his bestial nature; despite being in the midst of a war he claims to be fighting for Lyanna, Robert still found time to fuck all the whores at the Peach:

As she sat in the common room in her stupid girl clothes, Arya remembered what Syrio Forel had told her, the trick of looking and seeing what was there. When she looked, she saw more serving wenches than any inn could want, and most of them young and comely. And come evenfall, lots of men started coming and going at the Peach. They did not linger long in the common room, not even when Tom took out his woodharp and began to sing “Six Maids in a Pool.” The wooden steps were old and steep, and creaked something fierce whenever one of the men took a girl upstairs. “I bet this is a brothel,” she whispered to Gendry.
“You don’t even know what a brothel is.”
“I do so,” she insisted. “It’s like an inn, with girls.”
He was turning red again. “What are you doing here, then?” he demanded. “A brothel’s no fit place for no bloody highborn lady, everybody knows that.”
One of the girls sat down on the bench beside him. “Who’s a highborn lady? The little skinny one?” She looked at Arya and laughed. “I’m a king’s daughter myself.”
Arya knew she was being mocked. “You are not.”
“Well, I might be.” When the girl shrugged, her gown slipped off one shoulder. “They say King Robert fucked my mother when he hid here, back before the battle. Not that he didn’t have all the other girls too, but Leslyn says he liked my ma the best.”
The girl did have hair like the old king’s, Arya thought; a great thick mop of it, as black as coal. That doesn’t mean anything, though. Gendry has the same kind of hair too. Lots of people have black hair.
“I’m named Bella,” the girl told Gendry. “For the battle. I bet I could ring your bell, too. You want to?”

- A Storm of Swords Arya V
This bestial nature and Ned's willingness to enable it is put on full display when Robert returns to the Trident in A Game of Thrones. Robert allows Lady and Mycah to be killed as vengeance for Joffrey’s injury, despite later admitting he knew his heir was lying. Joffrey sustained this injury at the Trident because he drunkenly misperceived the fight between Arya and the butcher’s boy, and cruelly acted on his ‘chivalric duty’ to defend noble ladies. Likewise, Robert (and everyone else) misperceived Rhaegar’s intent when he crowned Lyanna, and his fervor for vengeance led him to go along with a plot to abduct her and pin the blame on Rhaegar, like Joffrey lied about what transpired during the fight. Both Lady the direwolf and wolf-blooded Lyanna were held accountable for crimes they were innocent of; Lyanna’s crowning may have suggested to Robert that she actively enticed Rhaegar, like rape victims are routinely scrutinized for their attire and other non-sexual behaviors to suggest they somehow invited their rapes. Ned went along with these obviously unjust actions, out of loyalty to his friend and king, and to prevent further harm to his family.

All Ned could do was take her in his arms and hold her while she wept. He looked across the room at Robert. His old friend, closer than any brother. “Please, Robert. For the love you bear me. For the love you bore my sister. Please.”
The king looked at them for a long moment, then turned his eyes on his wife.
“Damn you, Cersei,” he said with loathing.
Ned stood, gently disengaging himself from Sansa’s grasp. All the weariness of the past four days had returned to him. “Do it yourself then, Robert,” he said in a voice cold and sharp as steel. “At least have the courage to do it yourself.”
Robert looked at Ned with flat, dead eyes and left without a word, his footsteps heavy as lead. Silence filled the hall.
“Where is the direwolf?” Cersei Lannister asked when her husband was gone. Beside her, Prince Joffrey was smiling.
“The beast is chained up outside the gatehouse, Your Grace,” Ser Barristan Selmy answered reluctantly.
“Send for Ilyn Payne.”
“No,” Ned said. “Jory, take the girls back to their rooms and bring me Ice.” The words tasted of bile in his throat, but he forced them out. “If it must be done, I will do it.”
Cersei Lannister regarded him suspiciously. “You, Stark? Is this some trick? Why would you do such a thing?”
They were all staring at him, but it was Sansa’s look that cut. “She is of the north. She deserves better than a butcher.”
He left the room with his eyes burning and his daughter’s wails echoing in his ears, and found the direwolf pup where they chained her. Ned sat beside her for a while. “Lady,” he said, tasting the name. He had never paid much attention to the names the children had picked, but looking at her now, he knew that Sansa had chosen well. She was the smallest of the litter, the prettiest, the most gentle and trusting. She looked at him with bright golden eyes, and he ruffled her thick grey fur.
Shortly, Jory brought him Ice.
When it was over, he said, “Choose four men and have them take the body north. Bury her at Winterfell.”
“All that way?” Jory said, astonished.
“All that way,” Ned affirmed. “The Lannister woman shall never have this skin.”
He was walking back to the tower to give himself up to sleep at last when Sandor Clegane and his riders came pounding through the castle gate, back from their hunt.
There was something slung over the back of his destrier, a heavy shape wrapped in a bloody cloak. “No sign of your daughter, Hand,” the Hound rasped down, “but the day was not wholly wasted. We got her little pet.” He reached back and shoved the burden off, and it fell with a thump in front of Ned.
Bending, Ned pulled back the cloak, dreading the words he would have to find for Arya, but it was not Nymeria after all. It was the butcher’s boy, Mycah, his body covered in dried blood. He had been cut almost in half from shoulder to waist by some terrible blow struck from above.
“You rode him down,” Ned said.
The Hound’s eyes seemed to glitter through the steel of that hideous dog’s-head helm. “He ran.” He looked at Ned’s face and laughed. “But not very fast.”

- A Game of Thrones Eddard III
Most assume Gregor Clegane is the giant in armor made of stone in Bran’s vision of the Trident… yet he wasn’t present during the events Bran envisions. This dark shadow is a better fit for Robert, a veritable giant who won the throne at the Trident, who is first introduced as having gained eight stone, with a girth to match his height (like a mountain), and whose blood turns black when he is mortally wounded by a boar.

He looked south, and saw the great blue-green rush of the Trident. He saw his father pleading with the king, his face etched with grief. He saw Sansa crying herself to sleep at night, and he saw Arya watching in silence and holding her secrets hard in her heart. There were shadows all around them. One shadow was dark as ash, with the terrible face of a hound. Another was armored like the sun, golden and beautiful. Over them both loomed a giant in armor made of stone, but when he opened his visor, there was nothing inside but darkness and thick black blood.

- A Game of Thrones Bran III
It would not be unusual for Bran to see both a person’s physical form and their shadow at the same time; this is how shadows work. Ned undoubtedly experiences inner turmoil in this scene, going along with injustice in service to a cowardly king despite the pain it causes his daughters. So, it's easy to see how the shadow with the face of the hound and the golden shadow are both cast by Ned, depicting a light and dark side at war within himself, representing his competing duties to his king and children which led him to execute Lady and accept Mycah's unjust death. It's not unusual that Ned would have multiple shadows, a dark and a light side making him grey as the direwolf on his sigil; recall, Stannis tells us that some lights cast more than one shadow:

King Stannis pointed a finger. “There you err, Onion Knight. Some lights cast more than one shadow. Stand before the nightfire and you’ll see for yourself. The flames shift and dance, never still. The shadows grow tall and short, and every man casts a dozen. Some are fainter than others, that’s all. Well, men cast their shadows across the future as well. One shadow or many. Melisandre sees them all.”

- A Clash of Kings Davos II
https://preview.redd.it/g7kdw91ycn3b1.png?width=602&format=png&auto=webp&s=a654ddd47e8089aba8f5955974a7080102aee922
Alfie Allen: You know, I asked him about who Jon Snow’s real parents were, and he told me. I can’t say who, but I can tell you that it involves a bit of a Luke Skywalker situation. It will all come to fruition eventually.
This series will conclude next time with a foray into Ned's inner turmoil, examining thoughts and actions which indict his friend and king. To preview where this series is headed, in its full audio/visual glory with greater detail, look here.

Friday 6/2

• 14:00 khyber mini mardi gras featuring jester king
• 15:08 standard tap hog relay, new kids on the block featuring newer local breweries https://www.instagram.com/p/Cs34XJ-OjtL/
• 16:00 tradesmans pbw kickoff with half acre brewing http://www.phillylovesbeer.com/copy-of-submit
• 17:00 Bru Dewey brewing tap takeover https://untappd.com/v/bru-craft-and-wurst/634511/event/674194
• 17:00 Good Dog Yards brewing "game night"https://www.instagram.com/p/CsNHPk1NwvG/
• Khyber Hammer of glory with jester kinghttps://www.instagram.com/p/CsRV7wzOlRh/
• 17:00 monk's cafe foam brewers pop-uphttps://monkscafe.com/events

Saturday 6/3

• Khyber kegs and eggs with mahou Founders, Avery, Mahou https://www.instagram.com/p/CsRV7wzOlRh/
• Lucky's (Queen Village) Locals only, burger booster dipa launch with neshaminy creek. beers from new ridge, wissahickon, love city, sir charles, second district, dock street, mainstay, sly fox, two locals.
• 11:00 standard tap cider brunch Cider http://www.phillylovesbeer.com/copy-of-submit
• 12:00 Brothers Kirschner Still waters brewfest $55 https://stillwatersbrewfest.com/
• 12:00/13:00 Cherry Street Pier Logjammin3 $80 - $150 Lager https://www.facebook.com/events/557407636527860/
• 12:00 Varga Block Party https://www.facebook.com/events/619550186456644/?ref=newsfeed
• 12:00 Interstate Drafthouse Family/Kids themed quizzo http://www.phillylovesbeer.com/
• 15:00 tradesmans tour de founders, bicycle raffle and founders brewing Founders http://www.phillylovesbeer.com/copy-of-submit
• Khyber Jammin After hours - Log Jammin After Party https://www.instagram.com/p/CsRV7wzOlRh/
• 19:30 fat lady brewing Strike A Pose! FLB kicks off pride month with a celebration of queer culture, a good old fashion lip sync smackdown! 6 contestants go head to head in a runway and lip-sync challenge. $20 https://www.instagram.com/p/CsRPbYcO5a_/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Sunday 6/4

• 9:00 victory rooftop yoga, ticketed $20 https://www.eventbrite.com/e/rooftop-yoga-at-victory-brewing-philadelphia-tickets-631647052337
• Lucky's (Queen Village) (day 2) Locals only, burger booster dipa launch with neshaminy creek. beers from new ridge, wissahickon, love city, sir charles, second district, dock street, mainstay, sly fox, two locals.
• 11:00 standard tap stout brunch Stouts http://www.phillylovesbeer.com/copy-of-submit
• 12:00 Varga Mainstay & Slay... Drag brunch with mainstay and miss troy Mainstay https://www.facebook.com/events/568639015197066/?ref=newsfeed
• 14:00 attic brewery Food Truck Festival Attic
• 16:00 Bru total eclipse: 50/50 eclipse, black butte, abraxas imperial stouts https://untappd.com/v/bru-craft-and-wurst/634511/event/674195
• 14:00 interstate Cornhole tournament sponsored by boston beedogfish Boston Bee Dogfish Head http://www.phillylovesbeer.com/copy-of-submit
• 17:00 Cook & shaker - Other half mini takeover
• 18:00 Varga Murder Mystery Dinner w/sacred vice & carbon copy Sacred Vice & Carbon Copy https://www.facebook.com/events/1266338443989441/?ref=newsfeed

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Memory transcription subject: Professor Haeli, Galactic Music Professor at White Hill University
Date [standardized human time]: September 7, 2136
I've always taken my work seriously. Music might not be as directly applicable as engineering or business but it does have influence over the public. Even as an entry-level professor, I put forth great effort in my work. Even if it was for my own desire for integrity.
Still, Blyne’s expectations were surprising.
It's not that I felt incapable. Rather, no one had ever approached me with something so…delicate. This was a new development, something that had been lacking in my field for as long as I could remember.
So, naturally, I found myself completely and utterly stumped.
I was glad to see such importance placed on my position. I was often used to music being overlooked. For as much as the Federation touted the cultural advantage of prey species over the dreaded Arxur, songs didn’t defend the planet from raids. Guns did. I recognized that reality but often felt as though musical education was overly neglected. Despite the promise of newfound attention, being in such an unfamiliar situation had my nerves frazzled.
I was hoping Grace, being a professional Human musician, could offer me some insight on what I should do.
“The headmaster wants me to prove that Humans and Venlil have a place in one anothers’ societies. I can’t figure out how I’m supposed to prove that. I teach music, not socioeconomics.”
“I think he’s just looking for something practical, love. Maybe I could do a little virtual performance for him over video; show him that Humans are perfectly capable of cultural intelligence, and that we can be cordial in a performance setting.”
I still wasn’t used to her calling me ‘love’ like that. Apparently it was a dialect thing.
“That might help my case if it’s not too much trouble. He seems genuinely interested in what Humans are capable of.”
Could I even get Blyne to watch something like that though? He said he supports my efforts but still…
“Which reminds me, we still haven’t done a video call yet.”
I had tried so desperately to avoid the topic but she was always steering our conversation toward that fact. She was within her rights to desire such a thing. That was, after all, the point of the program.
“Grace, I know it’s only a matter of time. I just…It’s scary.”
“I assure you I don’t pose any threat. Look, if you’re going to get through all of this, you’ll need to make peace with our faces. Your student has already managed it. As his teacher, you shouldn’t let him overtake you so easily, in my honest opinion. You should be able to surpass him.”
“Sounds like an awfully competitive approach. Are all Humans that way?”
“You call that competitive? I’d call it a simple expectation. You’re supposed to be the one paving the way. That’s why you came up with this project, yeah?”
I sighed. She was right. It was my cowardice that was barring me from progressing. I’d decided to start this study and now I was being passed up by my own students.
“Alright. You win. Just…could you turn to the side at first. I don’t want to be met with predator eyes immediately.”
“Of course. I’ll turn the camera off if it goes to shite. But, I think you’ll find I’m less monstrous than you might imagine.”
I’d seen reference images. In some way, they were rather flimsy looking. Despite the piercing binocular eyes, they didn’t have the long claws or powerful builds of the Arxur. Still, even the still reference photos had sent a shiver down my spine.
This is Grace, though. You know her. It’s not some unnamed Human model.
I pulled the exchange app up to the computer screen, bracing myself for the Human visage.
“I’m ready.”
“Very well. I’m putting it on.”
The screen changed to reveal a Human side profile. Instantly, my heart rate shot up and I gripped the sides of my chair.
“Haeli, love? Are you alright? I actually can’t tell since I’m looking the other way.”
“I-I’m fine. I j-just need to a-adjust.”
“Take your time. It’s alright.”
Grace had switched from her regular voice to the sing-song voice she had used when I’d first spoken to her. The melodious tone helped to put me at ease.
I took deep, slow breaths to steady myself. My muscles began to relax and the shaking receded. I looked down to find that my claws had torn through the fabric on the armrests of my seat involuntarily.
I didn’t know my claws could even cut that well.
The realization gave me enough of a distraction to steady myself completely. I focused on the screen and took the image in. Grace’s one visible pupil and skin were different shades of brown. She wore a gray artificial pelt that ran over her shoulders and down out of the frame. Her hair, a deep black, sat tied back and drooping down behind her head. Her nose jutted outward to about the average length I’d seen in the references. Just as well, her mouth was fairly small, not lending itself to the idea of a jagged-toothed predator.
Her eyes remained fixed off to the side, trying not to look at me.
Welp. Here comes the hard part.
“I’m calm, I think. Please, turn to face me. I know that’s how Humans usually communicate.”
“Alright, I’ll turn my eyes first by themselves slowly. Then I’ll turn my whole chair.”
I flicked my ears in acknowledgement though she was no doubt unable to see it. In fact, she was probably unfamiliar with the motion in the first place.
How unfortunate to not be able to communicate in such ways. I wonder how Humans read each others’ body language?
As I considered such a thing, her one visible eye slowly swept towards the camera. After a moment, it was trained on me. I flinched slightly at the realization but stayed firm, continuing my deep breathing.
“I’m turning the chair now.”
Slowly, her whole body turned to face me, her eyes, now both visible, remained trained on the camera as though they were locked in their orientation. I shuddered at the sheer accuracy of her vision, letting out a slight whimper by accident.“Too much?”
“N-no. I-I’ll get through th-this. I h-have to.”
Grace slowly nodded her head in a motion I didn’t recognize. Submission? Concern?
Wait…I think I read that it was acknowledgement. Maybe I should do that in place of ear flicks. It’d be something we can both do and read easily. That is, if I can get through this without having a fucking heart attack.
Grace’s face was fully facing the camera. Part of me expected something terrible to happen, like my subconscious was warning me of impending doom even as my logical mind knew that it was just a video call. I held my eye up to her predatory stare, gripped by terror but unmoving regardless.
Of course, nothing actually happened. As I sat there in my office, far from any threat, I began to slowly let myself go slack. The tension I’d been experiencing left my body in increments. I took the time to study her more closely as curiosity got the better of me.
As I’d expected, the eyes were really the only threatening thing about her. Granted, her mouth was closed so I didn’t get a look at her teeth. From what I had heard, the Human canines were rather small and they also had teeth for crushing plant matter similar to our own.
“Are you…s-seriously an apex predator?”
The words had left my mouth before I had a chance to consider them. Even in my fearful state, I managed to question a predator’s ability to hunt. Was I out of my mind? Would that make her angry?
Her hand shot up to cover her mouth as she giggled in response. She was laughing at me?
“Oh, trust me, love. We didn’t become apex predators with our natural armaments. We were just smart enough to use strategy. That, and we can put just about anything on a hell of a flight path. Humans are rather well-versed when it comes to throwing.
Throwing things? There’s no way that’s all it takes.
“H-how does throwing things m-make you a good predator?”
“Prey animals on Earth can be dangerous up close. I know that’s a foreign concept for the Venlil but such wildlife can be difficult to hunt for that reason. Can’t get close? Fashion a spear and strike from afar. Simple as that.”
Dangerous prey? Humans must not be that naturally threatening if they consider prey dangerous.
As she gave me her explanation, I found myself beginning to fully relax. Despite the fact that she was talking about hunting, it was still her voice, one I’ve become familiar with over the last few paws. That recognition became my anchor, allowing me to make peace with her visage. It helped that she lacked the massive fangs and claws of an Arxur. It would take some time to adjust but I could accept the forward-facing eyes. That wasn’t enough to make a Human dangerous by itself.
I slowly raised my ears from the top of my head and tried to sit with the confidence befitting a professor.
“I a-apologize. I’m usually n-not such a mess.”
“I’ve heard plenty of disastrous stories about partner introductions. Comparatively, I think you’re doing quite well.”
“Th-thank you.”
I was doing it. I was speaking with a predator. This is what I’d expected of myself at the beginning but I still felt surprised. My desire to converse with Humans had come from my passion, my drive to make a difference and learn new things. My aversion had come from my experience, having only known predators as evil monsters for all my life. The two lines of reasoning were clashing in my mind. But, I could feel the optimism winning out. I could do this.
“So,” Grace continued. “How about we drum up a catalog I can play for the headmaster? I’m sure between the two of us, we can make something appealing.”
“R-right. That’s a good idea.”
Can I really get Blyne to listen to her? I guess I have no reason not to try. He's been supportive thus far.
Part of me wished the doubters had been right; that Humans would have no musical complexity. Now I’m faced with a daunting challenge. I could only hope that I had the capabilities to succeed, not just for my own sake, but for our chances of working with Humans in the future.
-
Memory transcription subject: Kila, Venlil Engineering Student (First Year) White Hill University
Date [standardized human time]: September 7, 2136
If the simulations were trustworthy, the slender metal tubing I’d left laying in my dorm room should work well enough.
Theoretically, of course.
Unfortunately, I was still missing the most important part. The vibration mechanism was continuing to act as my biggest roadblock. I’d been engrossed with the project against my better judgment since my call with Brad. I would probably benefit from a break but the frustration of not being able to figure it out had taken me hostage. Even in the midst of lectures, I was playing with the simulation rather than taking notes.
“Kila, the lesson ended some time ago. Are you stumped by something?”
The words of Professor Gretty snapped me out of my focus. Despite my wide field of vision, I’d still somehow managed to ignore the entire lecture hall being vacated. I felt my face turn orange with embarrassment.
“No, sir. Actually, I was working on my own project. Sorry, I might have not been paying as much attention as I should have been.”
He flicked his tail in a motion of indifference.
“You’re one of the more capable students in this class. Not many students attend office hours for the first five sessions.”
It was no exaggeration. As the term had begun, I’d confided in Professor Gretty for an early engineering project. It had been my goal to overachieve initially to give myself a buffer in case I struggled later on. All in all, I was glad for those efforts now that I was most definitely slacking in regards to my school work.
“I’m glad you think highly of me sir. You’re a capable teacher in your own right.”
“I appreciate the compliment but I must say I’m curious. What exactly are you working on that has your attention so captivated that you don’t notice that you’re in a room devoid of people?”
“I’m trying to figure out how to redesign a h-”
Probably shouldn't bring up the specifics. It's a touchy subject.
“-an instrument for Venlil use. It typically uses a method of playing that we can’t naturally replicate. Basically, I need to cause buzzing at this point to vibrate the air column in the instrument.”
I motioned to the point on the model. The mechanism needed to be small, able to fit into the end of the tubing. I’d been hashing out ideas for far longer than I would have liked.
“The main trick,” I continued. “Has to do with the changing frequency. See, it has to change along with the slide as it moves in and out. Also, it has to be able to change harmonics depending on each position. The player needs to push air through the system to maintain the internal state. So, I need a way to create the vibrations independent of that while still allowing air to pass through. As of right now, I'm just trying to work through the math and figure out what frequencies I need at what lengths to get everything resonating properly.”
Gretty studied the design closely, taking stock of the model thus far.
“Odd. I’ve never seen an instrument like this before. Why rework an instrument anyway? You're not a music student. Is it a personal project?”
Glad that he didn’t pry anymore into the origins of the device, I answered before he could decide to.
“Yes, it’s a personal project. A friend of mine actually is a music student. I thought he might enjoy using an exotic instrument but it’s proving difficult to accommodate for our anatomy.”
“I’m not much of an engineer but I could maybe help you figure out the frequencies required to create the right resonance. Send me the dimensions and I’ll see what I can do.”
“Oh, it’s not that big of a deal, professor. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Nonsense. I’m happy to see my students applying what they learn even for personal projects. After all, what good would an education be without practical use? Send me the dimensions. I insist.”
I flicked my ears in affirmation.
“Thank you, professor! I’ll get those to you right away.”
“Remember, Kila,” he leaned in for emphasis. “If you run into any issues you think I can help with, I’ll lend you a paw. Just make sure to do your best.”
Flicking my ears one more time, I picked up my belongings and made my way for the exit.
Maybe I should have been less secretive with him. No. I can’t risk it. Human integration is a controversial topic right now. It’s good to know he’s willing to help, though. Having the numbers mapped out would make it way easier to design the mechanism.
I could probably emulate the vibrations easily enough. It’d take some tricky robotics to get the different frequency options working. The real question was how to handle the controls. A Venlil player wouldn’t just be able to move the muscles in their mouths the same way a Human can. I’ll need to find a way to get it to respond to the movement in the slide automatically. Then, maybe I could place buttons on the slide itself to change the harmonic up or down. It'd probably have to be a short-range wireless setup. I'd need to make sure there isn't a noticeable delay too.
It’s going to take some finnicking with electronics. I hope I remember how to design compact circuits. Plus there's the code to write. Should be simple enough.
All of this for something a Human can do with their lips. I was really running against the wind for this.
-
Memory transcription subject: Professor Haeli, Galactic Music Professor at White Hill University
Date [standardized human time]: September 8, 2136
Entering Blyne’s office, the plateau of paperwork seemed to have only gotten taller. He peaked up over the impending workload, eyes even more tired than before.
“Hello, Professor Haeli. I hope the paw has treated you better than it’s treated me so far.”
I took a seat across from him, just barely able to make him out over the wall of documents.
“Judging by the new height of your desk, I’d say it probably has, headmaster.”
He chuckled at the comment, though the fatigue crept through his features.
“I’m still determined to make time for you. After all, most of this paperwork is awaiting your conclusions anyway.”
I swished my tail in understanding but he may not have noticed given the stacks were impeding his vision.
“Honestly, headmaster, I’m somewhat surprised that you agreed to this. It took me several paws to work up the courage to enter a video call with my partner. Are you sure that this is a good idea?”
“I trusted you to be head over Human studies for the time being. And, I told you that I’d support you where I could. Hundreds of Venlil have entered visual contact with humans. If the integration continues as it has, that number will only grow. I’ll handle it. I trust your judgment. Also, I think I'm too damn tired to bolt from my desk at the sight of your partner.”
Flicking my ears in acknowledgement, I turned my attention to my pad. Navigating the app, I initiated a video call with Grace. Hopefully, she hadn’t forgotten about the time we’d decided on.
I was satisfied to see that she had remembered as her side profile appeared on the screen. I flinched slightly but stayed composed. This time, the camera seemed further away, able to capture the image of both her and her piano. The device was one of the more recognizable Human instruments. According to Grace, it was standard for songwriters to have one. Easy to learn but incredibly difficult to master.
“All set here, love,” she spoke without turning to face me. Instead, her binocular eyes were trained on the pages in front of her.
“Headmaster Blyne, are you ready?” I questioned, giving him one last chance to back out.
“Turn the pad to me, Professor Haeli. I’m prepared.”
I slowly spun the pad around to face Blyne, propping it up against a tower of paper. He tensed up and inhaled sharply at the sight. However, after a moment, he began to relax his muscles.
“G-greetings. My name is B-Blyne. I'm the headmaster at W-White Hill University. To whom d-do I owe the pleasure?”
“My name is Grace Patel. But, I know the Venlil typically only use one name. You may refer to me as just Grace. I'm a professional musician that specializes in this: the piano.”
“W-what a peculiar device,” he observed. “Quite large for a musical instrument, no?”
Despite the initial quiver in his voice, by the time he reached the end of his thought, it already carried the same confidence that was typically present.
He got over it that fast? I guess I should expect nothing else from the headmaster. He’s used to dealing with stress.
“Yes, sir,” came Grace’s response. Though, she continued to face the pages. “A grand piano is among the largest despite its commonality. It owes its size to the fact that it’s technically somewhat of a string instrument. Each key moves a small hammer that strikes long, taught strings inside.”
“Fascinating. Could you show me what it sounds like before moving into a full piece?”
“Of course.”
Grace’s hands flew lightly across the keys, rolling up and down scales with ease. I couldn’t imagine Venlil paws being so dexterous. She made it look effortless.
She’s a professional alright.
Grace also tapped the keys with different amounts of force, putting the breadth of dynamics on display. Then, she played some chords. At first, they were small and simple but they quickly grew to massive complex variants.
Initially, the fact that they used only half the tones we placed between sets made me believe that their harmonic practice would be lacking. It seemed that was rather short-sighted.
Blyne appeared to be rather entranced by the sound.
“What immense range. You said this was called a grand piano?”
“Yes, sir. There are many variations on the piano but this is the most common for symphony orchestras and solo pieces.”
Blyne flicked his ears in acknowledgement.
“I must say I'm rather impressed thus far. It may come as a surprise but I used to play a couple instruments myself in my younger years. I can tell that you're very technically proficient even by that little demo alone.”
“I like to think that I am. After all, I do this for a living.”
“How fortunate that Human society accommodates for that,” I interjected. “I think most Venlil would expect there to be no room for such a thing in a predatory society.”
Grace squinted her eyes but they remained trained forward.
“It's not exactly an easy occupation, I’m afraid,” she responded. “It's a lot of hours and not always great pay. In the end, it usually gets sidelined for jobs that are considered more practical.”
“It's a similar story within the Federation too. After all, music doesn't grow crops or fight Arxur.”
Blyne seemed to look sympathetic to my plight. He no doubt felt guilty of such standards. Time and time again, the budget had found its way to other departments. Not that I blamed him. There was always pressure from donors and the government. I new technological advancement would always take priority over musical capabilities. That was the truth. And, in all honesty, I couldn't bring myself to disagree completely with the principle.
“Music has its applications,” Grace continued. “It can bridge cultural differences or improve morale in dark times. For Humans, it can also be used to bring awareness to social issues. I'm not sure if that's standard practice for you, though.”
Using music as a form of protest? I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of such a thing.
“I understand that Humans have a rich musical history,” Blyne spoke. “I'm intrigued to know what you've selected for us today, Miss Grace.”
“I'm very excited to play for the both of you. I don't believe Haeli has heard this first song yet, either.”
We’d already selected a few pieces some time before. I'd heard each and every one. Yet, she was going beyond our list? I hoped that she knew what she was doing.
“This piece,” she continued. “Was written by Claude Debussy a little over two hundred years ago during the standard Human year of 1905. It was made exclusively for piano. Today, it’s regarded as a classic.”
Grace sat up in her seat and hovered her hands over the keys.
"The title of this piece is Moonlight."
She scooted herself ever so slightly closer to the behemoth of an instrument and entered a state of visible focus.
Then, gently, she pressed down on the keys.
The sound was nearly inaudible. Grace’s dexterous hands tapped gently along the instrument, leaving ample space between the groupings of tones. It didn't seem like she was abiding by any particular rhythmic structure. It was loose but not in a chaotic sense. The tune drifted lazily from each point to the next like petals in a breeze. Harmonically, it felt melancholy; not bright and cheerful but not necessarily dark either.
This changed for a brief moment where the chords became somber. However, the higher tones returned with a kind of arcing motion to counterbalance it. Grace’s timing lent itself to a rising and falling motion to match the tonal development.
Soon, those arcs turned into cascades, starting slowly and gradually increasing in tempo. I almost didn't notice the volume increasing alongside it. The chords began to feel more foreboding. I could feel my heart rate rising as Grace vaulted into increasingly dark tonal motion.
Then, suddenly, she played a bright pattern in an upwards motion, much more lightly than the cascades before. The motion was repeated a few times, each one lower in volume.
After a moment of blissful serenity, Grace’s playing took on a quality that I could only describe as wonderment. Once again, the piece became dynamically louder. The rate of tones increased but didn't carry the darkness from before. Instead, the harmonies were bright and easy on the ears.
The speed at which she played was impressive, though unconventional. Nothing she'd played for me had reached that pace. I wondered if Blyne could handle the sudden jump in tempo. But, when I stole a glance at him, he seemed just as entranced as I was.
For a moment, the tiredness in his eyes seemed replaced with wonder.
The music seemed to falter, not in the executive sense but rather there was a feeling of specifically designed instability. It was as though the piece was portraying a loss of balance, just barely leaning over a sharp edge.
But, just as it seemed about to fall, the volume once more dropped to near silence as it returned to its melancholy origin. It seemed to be nearly identical to the opening. And, after drifting between patterns for a moment, each reminiscent of a broader section of the work, it ended as meekly as it began. I was briefly unsure that it was actually over. It was like it just slipped right out of the room. I only had my confirmation when Grace slid away from the piano.
Blyne and I sat in silence momentarily, soaking in the experience.
“It's been many years since I've heard something so immersive,” Blyne’s voice took on the sound of nostalgia. “Truly, that was encapsulating.”
I flicked my ears in acknowledgement.
“I'm not sure I fully understood the symbolism though. It's likely a planetary difference. How do Humans interpret the moon?”
Grace tilted her head to the side in a look I assumed was confusion until realization hit her.
“Ah, I almost forgot that's what it translates to. See, the title is in a different language than the one I speak. I speak primarily English but the title is French. Your translators seem not to discriminate. If you wouldn't mind, turn them off for just a moment and I'll say the title verbatim.”
Blyne and I both complied with the request, powering them off and flicking our ears in a ‘go ahead’ motion. After the motion was lost on her briefly, Grace realized we were ready and spoke the title once more.
“Claire de Lune.”
It sounded starkly different to the Venlil sound that it had been translated to. Though, it sounded almost melodious in nature.
After we turned the translators back on, Grace continued her thought.
“To answer your question, Haeli, the moon can mean a number of different things depending on culture. But, one thing that is constant is its association with the night. I'd say in this context, it served as the inspiration in a sort of atmospheric sense. You may equate it to a picturesque street illuminated only by a few lamps and the moonlight from above. It's serene in that regard.”
“It was a beautiful piece,” I assured her. “But, it wasn't one we selected beforehand. What made you want to perform it?”
“Honestly, I would have very well suggested it earlier had I remembered it. It just popped into my head after the fact and I thought it would be a perfect introductory piece.”
“To that, I can agree,” Blyne offered. “I can tell that immense thought was put into the composition of the piece. And, I can tell that you have spent much time honing your craft. As such, I have a request.”
A request?
“Please, miss Grace, turn to face the camera.”
I tensed up. Even after already exposing myself to her face, I felt reluctant to have her eyes burrow into me again.
“Are you sure about that, sir?” Grace asked tentatively.
“I understand that you haven't been able to see us so far. And that, for Humans, looking away is often considered rude. It's probably been difficult to remain facing away from us this whole time. The least I can do for such a stunning performance is to look you in the eyes.”
Grace looked unsure but slowly she turned to face us. I felt my muscles tense further and Blyne stiffened across from me as well.
“You really needn't subject yourself to this,” Grace spoke, clearly noting our collective discomfort.
“I f-feel inclined to disagree,” came Blyne’s response. “If we are to live and w-work with Humans, we will need to overcome our instincts. I'm willing to give that an honest try just as Professor Haeli here is too.”
“I appreciate the effort. Truly, I do. But, save your energy. That song is not all I intend to play for you. Haeli and I selected quite the program.”
I flicked my ears in acknowledgement and accompanied it with a head nod for Grace.
“Yes, indeed. I believe you'll very much enjoy the rest of these, headmaster.”
And so we continued, traipsing through various piano melodies. From the slow, methodical sounds of Gymnopédie No. 1 to the almost haunting motion of Arietta, we sat enamored by Grace’s playing until, finally, we ran the established catalog dry and she bid us farewell before signing off.
Now in the silent office, Blyne suddenly fell against the wall of papers.
“Stars,” he spoke through the now collapsed pages. “I'm too old for this, Haeli. Her playing was incredible. And, I think I did well as a professional but her eyes are still terrifying.”
“I know how you feel. My student says you get used to it pretty fast, though.”
“To be young and have that kind of flexibility. It's going to take me some time, I think.”
“You held together well all things considered. I cut into the fabric of my chair with my claws just from tensing up so much.”
“Don't go destroying university property, now. We just got those chairs two terms ago. Also, about that student of yours, he's made quite the amount of headway, yes?”
I thought back to Mezil’s progress. It had certainly been more than I’d expected from any of my students.
“Yes. Grace was encouraging me to get him more involved. I can only really think of one way to do it. Actually, after her performance, I have a pretty ambitious idea.”
Blyne lifted his head from the paperwork and eyed me warily.
“You need my help, I assume.”
“I'll definitely need the go-ahead from you for this one. That, and I'll probably need some help figuring out the logistics.”
He sighed and started straightening out the stack he'd toppled.
“Alright then, Professor Haeli. What is your plan?”
-
First / Prev / Next

Episode 01: Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er!
The scene faded into a shot of the Earth from space, an astronaut banging on a small communications satellite in the foreground with a wrench. The satellite had the letters 'TDRI' scrawled on the front in black.
"We've been to the movies," the voice of Chris McLean began as the satellite seemed to whir into function, lights on either end of it glowing green. "We've been around the world!" Just as the astronaut gave the camera thumbs-up, the satellite suddenly failed with a jolt of electricity and broke apart, the astronaut palming the visor of their helmet. "And this season," Chris said as the camera rapidly began to zoom in towards northern Canada, "we're going right back where it all began," the camera past through layers of cloud to reach a beautiful morning sky, then panned down to an all-too-familiar island, "at Camp Wawanakwa!"
Chris McLean was already standing just off-center on the dock, right by the 'Wawanakwa' sign – both of which looked like they'd gone through some heavy wear and tear. "I'm Chris Mclean," the host formally introduced himself, "and as you can see, things have changed since we've been away." He walked down the dock to where a male red-shirted intern of southeast Asian descent waited with a coconut drink on a platter; the right side of the camp's sign fell down as he passed by, taking out a small piece of the dock.
"And by changed," the host said with a darkly expectant smile, "I mean gotten really, really, dangerous!" He took the coconut drink from the intern. As soon as he did so a giant pink tentacle rose from the lake with a terrifying roar, and slammed down on the dock – Chris calmly sidestepped it, but the intern and a sizable chunk of the end of the dock were smashed into the water. "Good stuff," the host laughed.
"But the rules of the game remain the same," he told the camera, the scene changing to a panning shot of one of the cabin rooms, a cockroach scurrying over the lens. The room itself looked about the same as it had three seasons ago – decrepit and old-fashioned, but boringly so. "A handful of unsuspecting teens will bunk with complete strangers," Chris explained during the pan, the shot cutting to a stained piece of male underwear nailed to a wooden door that promptly opened to reveal the old outhouse confessional within, "air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional, and compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island," the camera cut to a long-distance shot of the thousand-foot-high-cliff, zooming in on the gleamingly jagged rocks in the water below it, "and risk being voted off," Chris continued as the shot cut to the clearing, firepit, oil drum, and eleven stump-seats used for Campfire Ceremonies of the past.
"Last one standing wins," the shot cut from the elimination area to a still image of a wheelbarrow overflowing with money, "one, million, DOLLARS!" A short, grand, and victorious tune blared as the shot zoomed in on the prize money.
"Speaking of our cast," Chris said back on the Dock of Shame as a cool rock theme began to play, "here they are now!"
The shot cut to a small but luxurious red-striped yacht where the twenty-four contestants of the past three seasons could be seen more-or-less enjoying themselves. Brick and Courtney were making out on the starboard side while Ella, Ezekiel, and Sadie danced nearby, Eva looking away from them. On the stern deck, Mike, Owen, and Sky were dancing and Izzy was hanging upside down swinging life rings with Noah watching with disinterest. On a higher sternward balcony, Dawn was meditating, Beth was reading a book, and Cody and Harold played with video game handhelds. Shawn dropped down on the group unexpectedly from even higher up, startling all four. And at the bow, Heather leaned coolly against the port-side railing and smiled at the camera, Topher was looking at his reflection in a mirror, Jo and Lightning arm-wrestled on the railing next to them, Amy and Rodney were dancing to music that Duncan was setting up on his boombox, and Lindsay sat on the very foremost point of the railing posing.
Chris waved at the yacht as it approached...and kept on going, the music scratching to a halt instead of the ship. "NOOOO!" Owen hollered in surprise in anguish as the boat sailed off-screen, and Chris laughed.
"No, not them," he told the camera as it zoomed back in on him. "This season, we've got all new players, fighting for the million!" he announced as the music turned tense and grandiose. "And here they come now, for real!"
The shot cut to another yacht approaching, similar to the last one but with its stripes a pale teal instead of red. Several teens could be standing along the bow, port-side, upper deck, and stern, and the camera cut to those at the head of the ship – Molly and Dave.
"Meet Molly," Chris said, the girl noticing the boy next to her feeling scared.
"What’s the matter? We’re just going to compete where the show started," Molly assured the boy.
"Dave," Chris continued, and the boy blinked.
"Yeah, but I didn't know that the island would consist of toxic waste," Dave told the girl before breaking out the hand sanitizer and rubbing his hands and arms with it, causing the indie girl to raise an eyebrow.
The camera panned to the right to show the next two campers in line – Scott and Trent.
"Scott! And, Trent!" Chris continued.
"Why are you carrying a guitar around?" Scott asked Trent, who was happily tuning up his guitar.
"So I can practice my songs at camp," Trent smiled at the grumpy boy.
"Max!" Chris announced next, the pale boy in question suddenly and without warning popping up between Scott and Trent with enough force to knock the two to the sides with startled cries. From the evil smile he was sporting to the pale skin, everything about him radiated villainy.
"These compestants have no idea what awaits them when we arrive," Max said, speaking darkly as a dark tune played in the background. "For I am the definition of pure evil!" Max degenerated into laughter as the camera panned away from him, showing Leshawna and Sammy, the next contestants.
"Leshawna," Chris introduced the large girl witnessing Max's introduction.
"That boy is not right in the head," Leshawna shook her head with disapproval.
"Sammy," Chris introduced the nervous cheerleader.
"He is a bit free-spirited," Sammy said timidly while holding her left arm.
The camera panned right again to show B. He snapped his fingers for the audience.
"B," Chris finally introduced, "and Scarlett," he added, the camera panning further right to show the girl next to B reading a book.
"You seem confident to be here," Scarlett said dryly without taking her eyes off her book. "Do you know about the substance of toxic waste and radiation?" B nodded in agreement, impressing Scarlett. "That's good to know."
"Katie," Chris continued as the scene cut to a spot further down the yacht, showing the girl holding her tablet.
"Just in," Katie waved pleasantly at the camera. "I'm about to be competing for a million dollars, I-"
As she spoke the camera panned away to Anne Maria spraying her hair.
"Anne Maria," Chris introduced.
"Oh yeah!" Anne Maria looked at the camera. "Three more coats oughta do it."
She was interrupted when Katie walked back into the shot. "Not to be rude," she looked at the camera, "but you panned away before I could finish my introduction."
"Sorry, viral," Anne Maria smirked. "The camera just loves me more."
"Geoff," Chris introduced next as he dashed onto the scene, putting himself next to the two girls.
"Okay, girls," Geoff said in what was a chill tone, "let's not get off on the wrong foot. You'll get more camera time after we're all introduced."
Anne Maria proceeded to spray her hair again, the cloud causing Geoff and Katie to cough profusely.
"Sierra," Chris introduced next, the camera panning up to the girl standing on the upper balcony.
She was hurriedly typing into her phone. "I can't wait to step foot on Camp Wawanakwa and talk about it on my blog!" Sierra said, looking around in amazement until a small flock of pigeons flew past and knocked her over the railing with a scream.
"And DJ," Chris finished as Sierra landed next to the fourteenth and final competitor of the season.
DJ looked down as Sierra landed and gasped. "Oh snap! Let me help you up!" DJ quickly bent down and helped Sierra up. "There you go."
"Yup!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him on the Dock of Shame. "It's our roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever!" He took out a remote control, and pressed the large central button with his thumb.
The yacht that the new contestants were sailing in on suddenly exploded, sending all fourteen of them flying and screaming in every direction.
Chris took a casual sip of his coconut drink, then looked at the camera and raised a finger high. "Right here," he said as a faint version of the series' capstone theme played, "on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!" The shot jumped outward as the title was said, showing Wawanakwa island in its entirety with a few plumes of smoke in the distance marking where the yacht had exploded.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
[The sequence begins much as it did three seasons ago, with an open into letterbox format as the camera focuses on the tops of a few distant pine trees. A rusty stage light rotates up and turns on; then the shot changes to a cobwebby spotlight swinging down and turning on as well; then a small security camera popping out of one of several leaky toxic waste barrels; then another camera bursting out of a tree hollow, held by an octopus tentacle and dislodging a few bones; then a pair of fair-skinned arms clapping a film slate in front of the camera which switches to a shot of the island, briefly showing a giant octopus looking out of the lake to the right, then flying forward down the dock and past the buildings, passing under a totem pole that Chris was sitting on and which was being carried by a trio of male interns of mismatched heights.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
[The camera rapidly flies through the trees as the lyrics begin, quickly reaching the top of the thousand-foot-high cliff.]
You guys are on my mind!
[It looks down at the ring of buoys in the water below and dives, immediately cutting to an underwater view as the bubbles disperse to reveal Sammy gagging with several vicious-looking fish watching her hungrily until a claw-like machine grabbed her and pulled her up to the surface.]
You asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
[Up in a canoe, B tinkered with the machine, and looked up as it pulled Sammy out of the water and into the sky.]
I wanna be...famous!
[The scene lingers on Sammy in front of the sun for a moment, then quick-pans left to Katie in the middle of the woods posing as she is filming herself; a falling Sammy abruptly hits her on the back and knocks both to the ground. Katie lifts her head to look at the cheerleader, who just smiles bashfully. Geoff runs past them as the camera pans left to Sierra sitting on a tree branch and texting on her phone. Gophers suddenly pop up from the ground and roar, causing Sierra to flee.]
I wanna live close to the sun!
[At the top of a waterfall, Molly and Trent float downriver in a canoe. Trent was playing a song on his guitar, to which Molly was vibing to until she finally spotted the waterfall. Both screamed as they went over the edge.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
[The camera pans down to DJ, balancing a log on his finger. Though he does not see the canoe falling behind him, he does see Molly and Trent as they fall right on top of him, breaking the log he was holding onto and sending all three into the water.]
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
[Scott is laughing at the three's misfortune, and a monstrous shark with arms and legs bursts out of the outhouse with a toothy grin, making Scott run away.]
I'll get there one day.
[The camera pans to the Mess Lodge, Chef Hatchet's silhouette visible in the window. Zooming in to the room shows him stirring a pot of some greenish slop with a dark grin, and the shot pans over to show Max cackling wickedly until Chef shoves a spoon full of slop into his mouth.]
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
[Another pan to the left reveals Anne Maria spraying her hair. Once she realized she was being recorded, she glared at the camera and sprayed it with her can. The spray cloud moves the scene out of the lodge and into the beach, where Scarlett is calmly reading her book – until a hawk flew right in just to snag it and flew away, much to Scarlett's unamusement.]
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera pans away from Scarlett and on to Dave applying hand sanitizer. A furry hand taps him on the shoulder, distracting the germaphobe and allowing the arm to snatch away the sanitizer. Dave realizes what's happened, and rushes angrily at the large hairy ape-man now using the hand sanitizer.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera pans down to the end of the dock to show Leshawna, blowing a kiss before taking a few steps back. She busts out a few dance moves of her own.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[A sudden splash of water comes down on the sista, interrupting her dancing and causing her to send a frown upward – Chris is hovering above him in a jetpack and helmet, holding an empty bucket. He drops the bucket then flies off, the flames from his jetpack taking over the screen. It becomes night as they peter out, and the camera pans down across the stars and treetops and full moon to Anne Maria and Geoff sitting at a campfire together. As they lean towards each other with expectant smiles they are interrupted and separated by Chef Hatchet, wearing a hazmat suit and holding a glowing green marshmallow between them with a pair of heavy tongs.
The shot zooms out to show the rest of the cast looking shocked, whistling the last few notes of the song – Trent, Leshawna, B, Scott, Dave, and Katie on Anne Maria's side; Max, Sammy, Molly, Scarlett, DJ, and Sierra on Geoff's side; and Chris standing next to Chef on Geoff's side as well. The shot continued to zoom out until a signboard was shown marking the presumed entrance to the fire pit; it read 'TOTAL DRAMA REVENGE OF THE ISLAND' in block letters, the third word being the largest and the last word relegated to a board tacked on at the end.]
XXXXX
"AAAAHHH!" Max screamed, the episode fading in to him landing hard on a rock jutting out of the water. "Why must a villainous mastermind suffer like this?" he groaned, pitifully sliding into the water as Anne Maria swam past in the background.
"Chris is so getting a beatdown for this!" Anne Maria said to herself.
Sammy was shown swimming by clinging to a piece of driftwood, then looking to the side at the sound of someone coming up behind her. "Sorry about this!" Trent shouted as he shot past like a torpedo.
The camera followed Trent as he swam past Molly. "There is a thing called open space!" Molly said before continuing her swim.
The shot cut back to Max, now flailing his arms as he struggled not to drown. "Spaz," Scott said as he swam past him.
Max finally sank below the water, but fortunately Scarlett quickly swam over and dived down.
"I pity you, and I also don't want you dead," Scarlett informed as she surfaced, pulling a coughing Max back up with her.
"Get me to land now!" Max demanded.
The camera cut to Geoff. He reached another rock jutting out of the water and pulled himself up onto it. "Okay. How am I gonna get myself to shore?" The party guy then saw a long piece of wood shaped like a surfboard and grabbed it. "I think I know what to do!"
Positioning himself on the rock while laying belly first on the wood, Geoff boosted himself off the rock and rocketed through the water, even managing to get up and maintain himself.
The shot cut to Scarlett helping Max swim to shore, only for a surfing Geoff to unknowingly splash water onto the both of them, causing them to fall under the water.
Leshawna sputtered as she sank and struggled to stay afloat. "I don't think I can stay up for much longer!"
"I'm on it!" DJ and Katie said, appearing out of nowhere and swimming to the girl.
"Oops. You can go first. Sorry if I interrupted," Katie apologized.
"No no. You can go instead. I think it was the other way around," DJ offered.
"Well, I mean, if you insist," Katie chuckled until the hand of Leshawna held onto Katie's head for support, dragging her down.
DJ panicked. "Hang on! I'm coming!" He dived down and got both Leshawna and Katie, the former spitting out water.
"If we weren't in water right now, I'd be tweeting about you saving me," Katie commented.
Confessional: DJ
"So this is my first confessional," DJ opened while looking around the outhouse confessional. "I've watched the first season, and this is where the contestants come in to talk about their feelings or strategy or whatnot."
"We're all newcomers here, so if I see anyone struggling, I'll be there to help them out," he continued with a smile before frowning. "Right after I get used to this island first."
Confessional: Katie
"Hello," Katie said in the next confessional to her tablet. "This is the first time I am in the Total Drama confessional. It's a little disgusting, but that's for another time!" She continued with her perky smile and put her tablet away. "I came onto this show in order to promote my vlogging expertise and gain more followers. I'm a bit of an advice guru, so don't be surprised if I have a solution for some sticky situations." She laughed blissfully. "That was so alliterative!"
Confessionals End
The footage resumed with a rather wet Trent on shore. He looked around, then cheered in victory. "Yes! I'm first!" he cheered. "And my guitar is in one piece-"
His face dropped as he looked to his left, and the camera panned to show Sierra fixing her wet hair.
"How did you get here before us?" Trent asked.
"I practiced swimming back home in case we have a beach episode," Sierra explained happily.
Dave was the next to come to shore, crawling out of the water. "I'm here!" he panted before falling on his face.
Confessional: Dave
Dave squirted hand sanitizer on his hands, and set his pocket-sized bottle aside on the seat, beginning to rub his hands together to spread the cleaning product. "How did I not read my contract fully? I never would've signed up if I had known how unclean the environment was gonna be."
Confessional Ends
B and Max were the next to make it to dry land, the quiet genius dragging the super villain up the beach on his head with the super villain coughing out water.
Confessional: Max
"I do not like yachts, so it was very enjoyable to have it be destroyed," Max grinned. "I just wish it was me who blew the yacht up instead of being on the receiving end like those other fools," he complained briefly.
"I guarantee you, everybody will be frightened by my abnormally large brain and my super advanced hearing. No one has ever, ever been able to sneak up on me!" he declared confidently just as an orange butterfly flew over him. It landed on his head...and with a sickening bone-crunch, Max started to tilt over. "Begone, brutal butterfly!" he cried in pain, falling over onto the seat under the butterfly's weight.
Confessional Ends
The footage cut back to the beach, showing Trent, Sierra, Dave, B, and Max loitering around a large rock further up the beach and revealing that Scott, Scarlett, Anne Maria, Sammy, Molly, Leshawna, Katie, and DJ had all made it to shore as well.
"This is preposterous!" Max ranted, pouring water out of his shoe. "I am not to be treated with disrespect! Chris will rue the day he met Max Mayhem!"
Molly was sitting next to Max and listening without a care. "Is your last name actually Mayhem? If it's not, I'd respect you for creating your own nickname."
Max was about to answer, but a wave and a dramatic riff signaled that another person had washed up.
It was Geoff, who coughed out a small fish.
Confessional: Geoff
"I wiped out for a while," Geoff confessed. "I’m more into parties and having a good time. As long as I get along with everyone and not be harsh, I can last up to the tenth or eleventh episode."
Confessional Ends
"I can't believe we were blown up before we even got on the island," Sammy said, Katie sitting near her. "I've been watching Total Drama for a while, and I can't even tell what's going to happen next," she looked at the girl.
"It's not your fault. None of us can look into the future," Katie told her before looking at her tablet. "Katchy Katie here, and so far, the island is looking pretty bland," she told her viewers.
"Katchy Katie?" Sammy wondered. "What's that about?"
"That's just my vlog name," Katie explained. "I usually record what's going on in my life so I can tell my viewers what to do and not what to do."
"Could you send me a link to your vlog?" Sammy asked the influencer. "It sounds interesting."
Katie gave a slip of paper with her name on it to Sammy. "Here you go. It's best to always keep track of what you see and know on paper so you won't forget in the future."
"Attention, fresh meat!" Chris announced, the shot cutting to a pair of loudspeakers on a tree nearby, then panning down and right to show that all fourteen campers were now waiting around on the rocky beach. "See that trail leading into the forest?" the host continued, the camera following the contestants' gazes right as they looked at where the beach, trees, and rocks met. "Race to the end of the trail," Chris commanded, "and do not disturb the wildlife! That would be bad."
"Does he seriously think that will frighten us?" Scarlett blew him off.
"The tiniest sound can set them off," Chris continued. "Liiike...THIS!" He blew an airhorn over the intercom, forcing all fourteen campers to cover their ears.
The camera panned over to the distant treetops on the left, the airhorn fading in to a loud, terrifying roar that startled a flock of birds to flight. The music became tense as one tree was knocked over, then another closer to the beach. Finally, the cast screamed and fled into the woods.
\
A clock wipe transitioned the footage ahead to an adorable little purplish bird singing on a branch...until a frog-like tongue snapped out of a hollow behind it and dragged the bird into darkness.
The camera panned down to a finish line, just as Geoff and DJ ran past it with the brickhouse in the lead. "Alright! First place!" DJ turned to the party guy. "Don't worry. Second's not that bad."
"I know," Geoff smiled. "I don't get why people are worked up over it though."
It was then that Chris rode up on a red ATV, his usual smile on his face. "Party Time, two steps left. You're on Team A," he directed, Geoff nodding happily and walking a few steps back towards the finish line. "Big Friendly Giant? Move right. You're on Team B," he told DJ, directing him to the right; he complied just as Scott crossed the finish line, skidding to a stop next to Geoff.
"Pit Sniffer," the host told him, "you're on Team A." Molly slid in next. "Free Spirit, Team B," Chris told her.
"Alright then," Molly said with a smile and ran off to the right. B stopped running and came to a halt.
"Silent Treatment, Team A," Chris told him, causing him to give his signature greeting to Geoff and Scott before Trent arrived. "Guitar Hero, Team B," Chris told him.
"Okay!" Trent went to his designated team.
Sammy and Katie arrived next, the nervous cheerleader bending over to catch her breath and the influencer clutching her chest. "Sour Sport. Team A. Perky Influencer. Team B," Chris said.
"I'm not that bad," Sammy mumbled while Katie ran to her team.
"Blogspot, Team A," Chris continued over a shot of Sierra running and stopping at her team. Dave arrived next. "Germ Avoider, Team B."
The camera zoomed out a little ways from Team A just as Leshawna ran up, panting and out of breath.
"Loud and Proud, Team A," Chris said. "Tan in a Can, Team B," Chris continued as Anne Maria arrived, walking rather than running.
"I'm… so… tired!" Max moaned while dragging himself through the floor.
"Maniacal Max, Team A," Chris directed. As Max joined his teammates they all looked back towards the finish line, with Scarlett simply walking to the finish.
"Aaand Quiet Genius, Team B," Chris finished with a smile.
"What was that thing in the forest?" Sierra said, trudging past her teammates.
"I'm pretty sure that cry does not sound like any normal animal," Trent added.
"Relax, it'll all make sense eventually," Chris explained, his impish smile quickly degenerating into long, evil laughter that caused the two teams to stare at him and look at each other in awkward, nervous confusion.
Chris finally stopped laughing, and wiped a tear from his eye. "Now, this season of Total Drama will be a little bit different," he explained. "For example, in every episode, someone will be eliminated."
The campers gasped, and an ominous chant played in the background. "It's never been that hard before," Sammy remarked in shock.
"I know," Chris told her with a smug grin, "I'm good. But since you're all first-timers, I'm gonna cut you a break and hide this bad boy somewhere in the campgrounds." He held up what appeared to be a small wooden carving of his head, and the shot cut in for a close-up. "A genu-ine McLean Brand Chris Head! Your free ticket back into the game!" The small carving was shown against a radiant white and blue background, an angelic chorus playing as images of Chef Hatchet dressed in a lavender leotard and tutu, angel wings, and a halo flew into the corners of the screen while holding harps and singing.
"Even if your teammates vote you off," he added as B and Geoff were shown staring with wide eyes. "Whoever finds it," Chris continued over a shot of DJ, Dave, Scarlett, and Molly also watching with wide eyes, "will become the most powerful player in Total Drama history!" Both Sierra and Max were shown smiling in awe.
The angelic chorus ended as Chris brought the statue in for a closer look. "Is the cleft on my chin really that big?" he asked in concern.
"Yep, and it looks like a butt," Scott answered, earning an annoyed glare from the host.
"Moving on," Chris said forcefully, "time for the team names!"
"I hope the names won't be stupid!" Molly immediately said. "I don't want to be defined by a name like the Silly Bunnies?"
"You got that right Molly," Chris told her, "The names have been chosen by moi. Team A, you shall henceforth be known as, the Toxic Rats!" A short but energetic riff played as the screen switched to a green, red, and yellow starburst-patterned background, a green logo spinning up to the front. It bore the image of a six-limbed rat standing up on its hindlegs and bearing its teeth menacingly.
The Toxic Rats stared blankly for a moment before Max laughed and said "How evil!"
"And Team B," Chris continued, turning his head to the other six, "you are hereby dubbed, the Mutant Maggots!" A different energetic theme played as a teal, yellow, and orange sunburst-patterned background took over the screen, and a red logo spun up to the front. This one depicted the head of a three-eyed maggot, its mouth frozen in a gaping hiss.
The Mutant Maggots stared blankly for a second as well. "What's with all the chemical waste references?" Dave asked.
The perspective switched to a group shot as another loud roar shook the area. "It's the monster!" Anne Maria shouted in terror, making the others look around in shock.
The shot cut to some distant trees, a flock of birds flying away as one fell, then the camera panned to the right as another closer tree fell. Dave, DJ, and Katie gasped in fear, the brickhouse quickly grabbing the influencer's arm for comfort, and the camera zoomed in on a bush in front of the last fallen tree.
A small hairless squirrel with big yellow eyes jumped out and looked around.
"So we panicked over a small squirrel?" Scarlett said in disbelief.
"Aww, it's kinda cute!" DJ gushed...until it blinked sideways, and he cringed audibly.
"What happened to it?" Katie asked from off-screen as the squirrel happily blinked and looked around some more.
"While we were gone," Chris explained, "I rented the island out to a nice family-oriented biohazardous waste disposal company." As he spoke, the camera cut to a pile of oil barrels stashed in and around a tree. All of the barrels had a hazard sign on them, and most were leaking some sort of foul bubbling green liquid. "Sweet people," the host remarked.
"But," he added as the focus cut back to him on his ATV, "the waste is having a teensy bit of an impact on the flora and fauna." The hairless squirrel was shown again, blinking as a monarch butterfly flew close to it. It snapped out its tongue like a frog, and swallowed the butterfly up.
"This may be odd, but that squirrel is cool!" Geoff said with a grin as Max and Sammy gave him odd looks.
"You know," Leshawna said, cautiously approaching it with a smile on her face, "it looks weird but I'm sure it's perfectly harmless! Am I right?" She reached out to pet it, and it roared the same deep and terrifying roar that had scared them all earlier, then shot lightning from its eyes at the ground Leshawna was standing on. Leshawna screamed and ran away, and the squirrel blew her a raspberry before hopping back into the bush.
Chris was laughing hysterically as the shot cut to Leshawna jumping into the arms of a surprised Geoff in fear. The camera cut back to Chris as he stopped laughing, then in an elated and dramatic tone said "Most. Danger. Ev-er~!" as an equally sharp and dramatic tune played.
Confessional: Leshawna
"That guy is some kind of crazy," Leshawna confessed to the outhouse camera in outrage. "Adding toxic waste to the island? That's gotta be a criminal offense if it endangers us."
Confessional Ends
"Now," Chris said with a wide smile as the scene cut back to him once again, "before we start our very first challenge of the season, let's give out some rewards. DJ," he turned to the left, "because you made it up here before anyone else, your team gets a trampoline!" A grand tune played as the shot cut to a close-up of the trampoline, and moments later Chef Hatchet bounced down upon it. "And the Rats, get a hacksaw," Chris added, the shot cutting upwards to show his glowering assistant holding the tool in question.
Chef suddenly lost his balance and fell with a crash; Max laughed and had the hacksaw thrown at his head for it; and Scarlett silently laughed too, and in turn got crushed by the trampoline that was thrown at her, making her groan in pain.
"What do these items have to do with this bomb?" Chris asked, holding up a square of plastic explosives with a wireless timed detonator attached to it.
"Uhh, he's not gonna blow us up again, is he?" Trent nervously asked an equally nervous Scarlett.
"Who knows," Chris said with a sly smile, leaning in between the two with the bomb. "Find out when we come back!"
(Fade to Commercial)

I work in a quiet office setting with at most 3 other people at a time. 1 of those people, we will call her Debra. Debra is a very nice person. She is my supervisor. She is a kind and considerate boss, and one of the best bosses I've ever had, honestly. In every other way than the that she is a misophonia monster. She is like a misophonia machine designed to tick every box of my misophonia triggers, at all time, through every work day. She sniffles all day, she smacks her mouth when she eats and you can hear every wet chew. She has a large drink on her desk at all times, and after every sip of the straw she loudly smacks her lips. I have not known anyone else to do that. Whenever she eats, she likes to talk through her mouthful of food. It is almost as if she prefers to talk when she's eating. She will be quiet for awhile, then start eating and start talking. She squeaks her shoes around on the floor mat and leans around in her chair causing squeaking. She also pronounces words the wrong way often, which sets off a similar but not quite as strong feeling to me than the eating and sniffing noises.
This is the worst thing about my job. I can deal with everything else, angry customer service phone calls, tedious tasks, etc. This is the worst thing. I even made a little song that goes through my head as I am being barraged with misophonia sounds "sniff sniff sniff, smack smack smack, this is going to give me a heart attack"
I got earplugs..they are called "Eargasm High Fidelity Earplugs" and they have helped a lot..at first I was like..these are a lifesaver. And yet, it is almost as if Debra is trying to find a way around my defenses. The earplugs do successfully block eating sounds but still allow me to hear talking. However, when I am wearing the earplugs I can still hear the sniffling and it is as if the sound filtering on the earplugs *highlights* the sniffling more than when I am not wearing them. Also, if she has a tropical smoothie, she will make a louder smack on the straw when sipping and I can definitely hear it through the earplugs. So what will happen is I will have the earplugs in when she is eating because I hate the sound of chewing more than the sniffling, but then I will take them out when she is not eating so the sniffling won't bother me as much. If she is having a smoothie, I will hear it either way.
She seems to always bring food in, breakfast and lunch, and when she goes to lunch she will go out to lunch for the full hour but then bring food back to eat it in the office. Why can't she just eat when she is at lunch.
She had tic-tacs for a straight couple of weeks once before I found the earplugs and would open mouth suck and crunch them and it was torturous. I would go hide in the bathroom for a break for as long as I could reasonably or find an excuse to walk somewhere. I am glad she is through her tic-tac phase.
Anyway. I have just wanted to vent. I like this job overall. But this is just wearing on me.

1. First, during "Kiss the Girl," Ariel figures out how to tell Eric her name by moving his lips after he points out the constellation for Aries. In the original movie, Sebastian whispers Ariel's name to Eric.
2. Ariel is the one who moves away from Eric when they almost kiss for the first time during "Kiss the Girl." In the original, Eric is the one who pulls away, and Ariel is sad over it.
3. The live-action The Little Mermaid adds an entire scene where Prince Eric and Ariel get to know each other when Ariel stumbles into Eric's study and Eric teaches her about the world. In the original, after Eric finds Ariel, their next scene is eating dinner and then the following day.
4. Prince Eric and Ariel also have more in common in the live-action remake, which just amplifies the feeling that they are soulmates. For starters: They both collect treasures from their adventures. Eric's study is filled with them, and Ariel, of course, has hers in her grotto, which are on full display during "Part of Your World."
5. And, adding to this, Eric's collection is filled with trinkets he found from his various voyages at sea, while Ariel's are all items she found from the human world, aka on land. Meaning they each collect items from each other's worlds, which is a small detail that just connects the two of them even more.
6. Also, the remake makes Eric's feeling of being out of place and wanting to find his own adventure more apparent than in the animated film. In the new The Little Mermaid, Eric is adopted after a shipwreck killed his parents, and he feels out of place in the world he's grown up in, similar to Ariel.
7. The Little Mermaid live-action adds in a song for Prince Eric titled "Wild Uncharted Waters," which just really adds to Eric's longing to find the girl who saved him, aka Ariel. In fact, Ariel's siren song can be heard in "Wild Uncharted Waters," too.
8. Prince Eric and Ariel go off on a more elaborate adventure in town during the remake, which allows them to continue to get to know each other. Namely, Eric's able to see firsthand Ariel's curiosity with the world for a longer period of time.
9. When Ariel finds out that Eric and Vanessa, aka Ursula's alter ego, are engaged, the live-action adds in a heartbreaking second reprise of "Part of Your World," which didn't happen in the animated movie.
10. In the animated movie, when Vanessa tricks and seduces Eric, he's pretty much obsessed with her and doesn't think about Ariel. Also, Grimsby supports this sudden wedding. However, in the remake, Eric keeps asking where Ariel is, even while being under Vanessa's curse, and Grimsby is basically the captain of the Ariel and Prince Eric ship and doubts this sudden relationship.
11. In the live-action The Little Mermaid, when Ariel turns back into a mermaid, Eric runs to Ariel and holds on to her even tighter. Unlike in the animated movie, where Eric lets go of Ariel and, kind of, just stands there stunned.
12. Also, in this same scene, in the original, Ariel is immediately swept up by Ursula and taken back to the ocean, while Eric just, well, stands there. In the live-action film, Eric tries to put himself between Ursula and Ariel, and is ready to fight to keep Ariel safe.
13. In the animated movie, when King Triton gives Ariel back her human form, she walks right into Eric's arms. But, for the new version, Eric can be seen missing Ariel at the palace while playing with Max, and she sneaks up on him. It's such a small change, but really shows how much Eric loves Ariel as he hugs her.
14. In the animated movie, Ariel's fascination, and ultimately love, for Prince Eric hinges a lot on his looks. For the live-action, Ariel falls in love with Eric more so after hearing him talk to Grimsby about the world, caring for other people, and more.
15. And finally, The Little Mermaid movie ends with Ariel and Prince Eric getting married, but also setting out on their own adventure and traveling the world, which isn't shown in the animated movie. This added little detail perfectly connects to how they fell in love with each other's passion for exploration.

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This post is the last post in a series looking at the massive amount of 'rhyming' recursivity I believe exists between (a) the homecoming of Petyr Baelish to the Fingers and (b) the homecoming of Theon Greyjoy to Pyke.
While this series/post can be read simply as a study 'for its own sake' of the curious recursion between these storylines, it is my belief that the 'rhyming' explored here between the stories of Petyr and Theon may exist (at least in part) to foreshadow that, like Theon, Petyr Littlefinger, is (among other things) a scion of ironborn kings, because Petyr is Hoare-ish: I.e. because Petyr's blood is (in some part) the blood of the ironborn kings of House Hoare of Orkmont and, later, Harrenhal.
This post is also post 25 of 25 in my broader series on the topic of a Hoare-ish Littlefinger, which is indexed [HERE].
Even if I'm wrong about Littlefinger's lineage, the 'rhyming' recursivity between the homecomings of Theon and Petyr detailed in this series remains, and certainly merits attention.
NOTE: In what follows, all uncited quotes are from ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Petyr's homecoming to his "Drearfort" tower of the 'Smallest Finger', or ACOK Theon I, which describes Theon's homecoming to "drear" Pyke.
As in past posts, I sometimes use "→" as shorthand for "'prefigures' and/or 'informs' and/or 'is reworked by' and/or 'finds a recursive rhyme in'.
As in: ACOK Theon I → ASOS Sansa VI.
This post picks up straight-away from where Part 9 left off. You can read Part 9 [HERE].
If you want to begin at the beginning, Part 1 is [HERE].

Aeron & Oswell

After Theon's homecoming chapter opens with Theon thinking "There was no safe anchorage at Pyke", which is copied nearly verbatim during Petyr's homecoming with Sansa, we see Theon anticipating his first glimpse of Pyke castle, and read this sentence:

Theon drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray, and looked for home.

That line proves to be a key part of a pun-tastic 'rhyme' between (a) Theon coming ashore from the Myraham and meeting Aeron and (b) Sansa coming ashore from the Merling King with the aid of Oswell.
I'll explain.
Note first that Oswell, who is…

…tall and gangling, with long white hair and a great hooked nose, with eyes shaded by a cowl [like a monk's cowl!]… (ACOK Theon V)

—clearly 'rhymes' with Aeron, an ascetic priest (see Oswell's monk-ish cowl) who is…

Tall and thin, with… a beak of a nose… [and] ropes of dried seaweed were braided through his waist-long black hair and untrimmed beard.

They're set up as yin and yang: Tall and similarly built with notable noses and long hair… but one has "long white hair", the other "long black hair", and Aeron has an "untrimmed beard" while Oswell is clean-shaven.
Aeron's beard is not simply a beard, though, but a beard with seaweed in it, which 'rhymes' with Oswell being not simply clean-shaven, but clean-shaven in a sea-faring way, as his "windburnt face"—

She studied the old man's lined windburnt face, hook nose, white hair, and huge knuckly hands. (ASOS Sansa VI)

—prefigures the "wind-chafed skin" of Aeron's niece Asha, which is tagged as typical of the sea-faring ironborn—

Ironborn, he knew at a glance; lean and long-legged, with… wind-chafed skin, strong sure hands….

—as are her notably "strong sure hands", which similarly 'rhyme' with Oswell's notably "huge knuckly hands".
SIDEBAR: As for Aeron's robes here being "green and grey" ("and blue"), this underlines that Petyr's oft-mentioned "grey-green" eyes are like the sea, which (as I've mentioned in previous posts) suggests per Archmaester Haereg's maxim—

"You may dress an ironman in silks and velvets, teach him to read and write and give him books, instruct him in chivalry and courtesy and the mysteries of the Faith… but when you look into his eyes, the sea will still be there, cold and grey and cruel." (TWOIAF)

—that Littlefinger is, at least in part, an ironman.
END SIDEBAR
The first thing we're told about Aeron after Theon realizes who he is is that "he washed up safe on shore"—

A memory prodded at Theon. In one of his rare curt letters, Lord Balon had written of his youngest brother going down in a storm, and turning holy when he washed up safe on shore. "Uncle Aeron?" he said doubtfully.

—which prefigures Oswell splashing his way ashore at the Smallest Finger:

Oswell and Lothor splashed their way ashore, as did Littlefinger himself.

(If Oswell is Aeron-ish, surely Petyr making like Oswell and splashing about in the surf here could foreshadow that he is Hoare-ish. And perhaps some kind of religious figure as well.)

Drawn Up Hoods

With that Oswell/Aeron 'rhyme' in mind, consider again that, as Theon approaches castle Pyke on the Myraham…

Theon drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray, and looked for home.

Sound familiar? That's because it's reworked when Sansa is rowed ashore by the "gangling", Aeron-esque Oswell:

Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore. Sansa huddled in the bow under her cloak with the hood drawn up against the wind….

When Sansa gets to shore, "two old men" help to make sure she doesn't get even a little bit wet—

The two old men waded out up to their thighs to lift Sansa from the boat so she would not get her skirts wet.

—which was, of course, exactly the thing Theon was trying to avoid back in ACOK when he "drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray", as Sansa drew hers "up against the wind" when Oswell rowed her in.

Gangplank → Gangling.

GRRM is just warming up. When Theon reaches Lordsport and disembarks from the Myraham, he, too, avoids getting wet. At least initially. Where Sansa uses "gangling" Oswell to come ashore, Theon uses… a "gangplank":

Without waiting for a reply [from Myraham's captain], he strode down the gangplank. "Innkeeper," he barked. "I require a horse".

Kneeling Servants

The innkeeper never gets Theon his horse, of course (of course), because Aeron shows up. And what does gangling white-haired Oswell's black-haired physical mirror Aeron do? He makes Theon get wet after all.

"Kneel."
The ground was all stones[!] and mud. "Uncle, I—"
"Kneel. Or are you too proud now, a lordling of the green lands come among us?"
Theon knelt. He had a purpose here, and might need Aeron's help to achieve it. A crown was worth a little mud and horseshit on his breeches, he supposed.
"Bow your head." Lifting the skin, his uncle pulled the cork and directed a thin stream of seawater down upon Theon's head. It drenched his hair and ran over his forehead into his eyes. Sheets washed down his cheeks, and a finger crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine. The salt made his eyes burn, until it was all he could do not to cry out. He could taste the ocean on his lips. "Let Theon your servant be born again from the sea, as you were," Aeron Greyjoy intoned. "Bless him with salt, bless him with stone, bless him with steel."

Note that Theon kneeling on "stones and mud… and horseshit" before a priest with "seaweed" in his beard is reworked even as Oswell rows Sansa ashore and she huddles in her cloak like Theon, when the Baelish household kneels on rocks covered by nasty seaweed and Sansa dodges sheepshit:

Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore. Sansa huddled in the bow under her cloak with the hood drawn up against the wind, wondering what awaited her. Servants emerged from the tower to meet them…. When they recognized Lord Petyr they knelt on the rocks.
[Petyr] led them up the strand over rocks slick with rotting seaweed. … Sansa had to step carefully; there were pellets [i.e. sheepshit] everywhere.

Blessings

Meanwhile, Aeron giving Theon his holy "bless[ing]" is reworked just before Sansa is rowed ashore, when Petyr asks for Sansa's "blessing" after he tells her they're not going to Winterfell and that he's going to wed Lysa:

"So silent, my lady?" said Petyr. "I was certain you would wish to give me your blessing. …"
"I . . . I pray you will have long years together, and many children, and be very happy in one another.

Sansa's reluctant acquiescence — both to giving the blessing and to going ashore and going along with Petyr's plan, which she had not anticipated — echoes Theon's reluctant acquiescence to both Aeron's blessing and Balon's plan of invasion, which he hadn't anticipated.
I suspect Littefinger was fed the line, "So silent, my lady?" before asking for Sansa's blessing as a nod to several pertinent silences in ACOK Theon I. First, the "sullen silence" of the Myraham's captain when he reluctantly acquiesces to Theon taking his would-be salt wife daughter below deck to get a blowjob; second, the "gloom of silence" between Theon and Aeron as they make the final approach to Pyke, post-blessing; and finally, Theon marking the absence of Euron's 'lady', Silence, as he sails into Lordsport:

Theon searched for his uncle Euron's Silence.

Truly, all things come round again.

Getting Wet & Staying Dry 1

But what about Aeron getting Theon pointedly wet? Aeron not only making Theon kneel but getting him wet and then riding with him to Pyke, is reworked (and reversed) not just by Oswell and Lothor rowing Sansa ashore — note the "rode" → "rowed" wordplay:

They [Aeron and Theon] rode in a gloom of silence.
Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore.

— and not just by Sansa being carried ashore and kept pointedly dry by two old men who were, seconds earlier, kneeling reverently on the seashore, but also by Aeron-ish Oswell helping Sansa "up" onto The Merling King from his rowboat while assuring her he won't let her fall into the sea, which he makes sure she doesn't:

The rower shipped the oars and helped Sansa to her feet. "Up now. Go on, girl, I got you." Sansa thanked him for his kindness, but received no answer but a grunt. It was much easier going up the rope ladder than it had been coming down the cliff. The oarsman Oswell followed close behind her… (ASOS Sansa V)

So: Where Oswell-ish Aeron forces Theon to kneel and then wets him down with seawater, ceremonially "drowning" him after he comes down the "gangplank", the "gangling" Aeron-ish Oswell helps Sansa "to her feet" and then "up" while promising not to let her fall in the sea, where she could drown.

Getting Wet & Staying Dry 2

Aeron forcing Theon to kneel and getting him wet before he "rode" with him to Pyke is also reworked/reversed inside Petyr's tower, when Sansa's 'other' rower Lothor protects Sansa from Marillion's rape attempt— from being (like Theon) forced to get "wet", so to speak:

"My blood is stirred. And yours, I know … there's no wench half so lusty as one bastard born. Are you wet for me?"
"I'm a maiden," she protested.
"Truly? Oh, Alayne, Alayne, my fair maid, give me the gift of your innocence.

The wetness motif is played up again:

"He put a hand on her breast, and squeezed. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes. You wouldn't want them ripped, I know. Come, sweet lady, heed your heart—"

He wants to "get [her] out of [her] wet clothes" so he can get her "wet", so to speak. But where Aeron forced Theon to "kneel" and get wet in language that suddenly reads as quite rapey and spine-chilling—

Sheets washed down his cheeks [which cheeks?], and a finger[!] crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine."

—before he "rode" with him to castle Pyke, Lothor Brune, who "rowed" Sansa ashore, keeps her safe and 'dry':

Sansa heard the soft sound of steel on leather. "Singer," a rough voice said, "best go, if you want to sing again." The light was dim, but she saw a faint glimmer of a blade.
The singer saw it too. "Find your own wench—" The knife flashed, and he cried out. "You cut me!"
"I'll do worse, if you don't go."
And quick as that, Marillion was gone. The other remained, looming over Sansa in the darkness. "Lord Petyr said watch out for you." It was Lothor Brune's voice, she realized.

Dagmer Cleftjaw → Lothor Brune

And what do you know? Oswell's rowing partner Lothor Brune is also prefigured by Theon's homecoming. Not by Aeron, but by Dagmer Cleftjaw, who Theon thinks of as he approaches Lordsport on the Myraham. In fact, there's a huge 'rhyme' between (a) Dagmer Cleftjaw and his "gut-churning scar", on the one hand, and (b) the beginning of ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Lothor Brune and Sansa's upset stomach (i.e. her churning guts) and seemingly permanently scarred psyche, on the other. I'll try to lay out now.
Consider first that as Theon approaches Lordsport on the Myraham, he goes below deck, where he thinks about Dagmer Cleftjaw (along with the sour-like-Aeron Sylas Sourmouth, who was discussed in Part 8):

As the Myraham made her way landward, Theon paced the deck restlessly, scanning the shore. He had not thought to find Lord Balon himself at quayside, but surely his father would have sent someone to meet him. Sylas Sourmouth the steward, Lord Botley, perhaps even Dagmer Cleftjaw. It would be good to look on Dagmer's hideous old face again.

We meet Dagmer in ACOK Theon III,

He smiled himself to show how it was done. It made for a hideous sight. Under a snowy white mane of hair, Dagmer Cleftjaw had the most gut-churning scar Theon had ever seen, the legacy of the longaxe that had near killed him as a boy. The blow had splintered his jaw, shattered his front teeth, and left him four lips where other men had but two. A shaggy beard covered his cheeks and neck, but the hair would not grow over the scar, so a shiny seam of puckered, twisted flesh divided his face like a crevasse through a snowfield "We could hear them singing," the old warrior said. "It was a good song, and they sang it bravely."
…Dagmer grinned more often and more broadly than Lord Balon ever had.
Ugly as it was, that smile brought back a hundred memories. Theon had seen it often as a boy, when he'd jumped a horse over a mossy wall, or flung an axe and split a target square. [More fond memories of Dagmer.]

We later learn that Dagmer is "fearsome" and a "fierce fighter" as well, despite being marked as aged by his "white mane of hair". (ADWD The King's Prize)
Dagmer's ship is named Foamdrinker, a double-entendre about ale-drinking, as he likes drinking, as well as reaving songs — especially the one a singer wrote about him:

He knew that would give Dagmer pause. A singer had made a song about the axe that cracked his jaw in half, and the old man loved to hear it. Whenever he was in his cups he would call for a reaving song, something loud and stormy that told of dead heroes and deeds of wild valor. (ACOK Theon III)

Balon puts Dagmer in Theon's reaving detachment. Theon foolishly resents this, not accepting that he is inexperienced and needs and could benefit enormously from a seasoned number two with whom he has a good relationship:

"You are to harry the Stony Shore, raiding the fishing villages and sinking any ships you chance to meet. … Aeron will accompany you, and Dagmer Cleftjaw."
…Theon felt as if he'd been slapped. He was being sent to do reaver's work, burning fishermen out of their hovels and raping their ugly daughters, and yet it seemed Lord Balon did not trust him sufficiently to do even that much. Bad enough to have to suffer the Damphair's scowls and chidings. With Dagmer Cleftjaw along as well, his command would be purely nominal. (ACOK Theon II)

Balon gives Theon Dagmer to help him, but Theon can only see it as an affront, so he tries to sideline him:

Dagmer Cleftjaw stood by the high carved prow of his longship, Foamdrinker. Theon had assigned him the task of guarding the ships; otherwise men would have called it Dagmer's victory, not his. A more prickly man might have taken that for a slight, but the Cleftjaw had only laughed. (ACOK Theon III)

That Splintery Ladder Again & Lothor's Hand Up

Now, remembering that we're introduced to Dagmer Cleftjaw while Theon is still aship en route to Pyke, consider again the first paragraph of Sansa VI, plus a bit more (which of course takes place while Petyr and Sansa are still aship en route to Petyr's Drearfort):

The ladder to the forecastle was steep and splintery, so Sansa accepted a hand up from Lothor Brune. Ser Lothor, she had to remind herself; the man had been knighted for his valor in the Battle of the Blackwater. Though no proper knight would wear those patched brown breeches and scuffed boots, nor that cracked and water-stained leather jerkin. A square-faced stocky man with a squashed nose and a mat of nappy grey hair, Brune spoke seldom. He is stronger than he looks, though. She could tell by the ease with which he lifted her, as if she weighed nothing at all. …
She had seldom ventured out on deck herself. Her little cabin was dank and cold, but Sansa had been sick for most of the voyage . . . sick with terror, sick with fever, or seasick . . . she could keep nothing down, and even sleep came hard. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw Joffrey… dying….
…Even this close to shore, the rolling of the ship made her tummy queasy.…
[Petyr] put a sympathetic arm about her shoulders. "Are you quite well? You look so pale."
"It's only my tummy. The seasickness."

We're subsequently reminded of Brune's "squashed nose" and "mat of nappy grey hair", and told of his "square jaw" and more:

With his squashed nose, square jaw, and nap of woolly grey hair, Brune could not be called comely, but he was not ugly either. … Sober, he was a quiet man, but a strong one. (AFFC Alayne II)

Recall too that Brune saves Sansa from Marillion, who tries to use her as Theon used the captain's daughter.
Having surveyed the field of (word)play, we can now see the 'rhyming':

• Where Theon goes below deck as he approaches Lordsport and thinks about Dagmer, whose jaw is (verbatim) "splintered", Sansa, with Brune's help, climbs up to the deck using a (verbatim) "splintered" ladder as she approaches the Drearfort.
  
• Where Theon spurns the 'hand up' Dagmer and his splintered jaw could have given him, "Sansa accept[s] a hand up from Lothor Brune" and climbs the "splintered" ladder.
  
• Where Theon think of the Cleftjaw, who has a "gut-churning scar", Sansa thinks about her literally churning guts — her upset "tummy".
  
• Where Theon thinks that Cleftjaw's "gut-churning scar" resulted from his being "near[ly] killed as a boy", Sansa's churning guts are related to the evident psychic scar she's suffered, which causes her to see a boy killed over and over again.
  
• Dagmer's "shattered" teeth and "splintered" jaw (and Dagmar being sent to "Torrhen's Square") → Brune's "squashed nose" and "square jaw"
  
• Where Dagmer is ironborn, and had his jaw "cracked… in half", Brune wears a "cracked and water-stained [as if from the sea]" jerkin.
  
• Dagmer's "snowy mane of white hair" → Brune's "mat of nappy grey hair"/"nap of woolly grey hair"
  
• Despite their 'old hair', Dagmer is "fierce" and "fearsome", Brune "strong".
  
• Where Dagmer's smile is "ugly" but nonetheless fills Theon with warm memories (defying its appearance), Brune, who "could not be called comely, but… was not ugly either", is "stronger than he looks".
  
• Where Dagmer "covered his cheeks and neck" with a beard but can't grow a 'proper' one due to his scar, which appears as a "seam", Brune doesn't look like a "proper knight" in his "patched… breeches" and "scuffed boots". (Note the sewing language — "seam" → "patched" — and the lexical similarity: "cheeks" → "breeches".)
  
• Both men seem to have a penchant for drink (per the implications of Sansa commenting on Brune's nature "when sober") and a foregrounded relationship with singers. (Where Dagmer loves singers and songs, Brune is in conflict with Marillion — although the deeds of "Lothor Apple-Eater" are likely sung of, like Dagmer's exploits.)
  

Thus just as the Aeron of Theon's homcoming 'rhymes' with the Oswell of Petyr's homecoming, so is Theon's Dagmer Cleftjaw reworked in the person of Petyr's Lothor Brune.
And thus everything about Petyr's homecoming continues to remind us of Theon's homecoming, which makes sense… if Petyr is likewise a scion of ironborn royalty (e.g. if he's Hoare-ish).

The End, and The Distinct Possibility That The Rhyme Between Petyr's and Theon's Homecomings Isn't (Just) About Petyr Being Hoare-ish, After All

That's it. That's all I got regarding the recursively 'rhyming' homecomings of Theon and Petyr. For me, the insane scope and depth of the 'rhyming' between Petyr's homecoming and the homcoming of a scion of ironborn kings is entirely consistent with my broader hypothesis: that the blood of ironborn kings likewise flows in the veins of Petyr Littlefinger — namely "the black blood" of House Hoare of Orkmont.
And yet . . .
It remains that notwithstanding that my Hoare-ish Littlefinger posts connected virtually everything we're told about House Hoare and its various historical kings with things we're told about Petyr Baelish, this (sub)series has detailed recursion not between Petyr and the Hoares, but between Petyr and Theon Greyjoy, who is like the Hoares in that his blood is that of ironborn kings, but who is, nonetheless, a Greyjoy.
It also remains that Theon is the grandson of Quellon Greyjoy, and that [as I show here] — or just scroll down, I'll reproduce that post in the comments — Quellon Greyjoy as described in both TWOIAF and in ASOIAF is nothing if not incredibly Hoare-esque, and not just because his policies and biography in TWOIAF 'rhyme' with the policies and biographies of various Hoare kings, but because ASOIAF proper subtly suggests he was something of a 'whore' in that AFFC makes it abundantly clear that Quellon was a prolific sperm cannon by repeating over and over that he sired nine sons we know of (on three different wives).
Recall that we saw in [Part 2 of the original 'Littlefinger is Hoare-ish' series] that Petyr is in certain striking respects similar to Balon, to Euron, to Aeron, to Asha, and even to Victarion.
This all gives rise to the question: Does all the 'rhyming' between the homecomings of Theon Greyjoy and Petyr Baelish as detailed in this series 'merely' (further) hint that Petyr is (literally) Hoare-ish, and hence that he is like Theon in that he, too, is the scion of ironborn kings?
Or do all the Petyr-Greyjoy connections, coupled with Quellon's foregrounded fecundity and the presence of a barely concealed metaphor for an ocean-based sperm (whale) cannon on Petyr's estate (alongside a reminder of invaders from the sea)—

There was one place where the tide came jetting up out of a blowhole to shoot thirty feet into the air, and another where someone had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder. Petyr said that marked one of the places the Andals had landed, when they came across the sea to wrest the Vale from the First Men.

—hint that at some point during his travels, Quellon Greyjoy bedded Petyr's mother Alayne (or perhaps Petyr's father's mother), cuckolding her husband and impregnating her with Petyr (or Lord Baelish)?
Note that Quellon was a direct, analogous contemporary to Petyr's 'father': Both are said to have fought for the Targaryens in the War of the Ninepenny Kings.

The Mockingbird & The Cuckolding Cowbird

Here we must consider that Petyr's sigil is the mockingbird, and that certain species of mockingbirds (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-tailed_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilean_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-banded_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalk-browed_mockingbird) are well-known as hosts for the [brood parasitism] of certain [cowbirds]. That is, it is well-known that mockingbirds frequently care for the eggs of cowbirds and feed the hatched chicks of cowbirds as if they were their own offspring.
In short, mockingbirds accept being cuckolded.
Recall here that the men of Pyke greeted Theon with "bovine [as in cow, as in the cowbirds that cuckold mockingbirds] eyes", and that the o.g. brood parasites are cuckoo birds, from whence we derive our term "cuckolding".
Recall, too, that the Greyjoy banner over Pyke weirdly takes on the appearance of a bird during Theon's homecoming, which I've just spent 10 posts comparing to Petyr's homecoming:

Above the Sea Tower snapped his father's banner. The Myraham was too far off for Theon to see more than the cloth itself, but he knew the device it bore: the golden kraken of House Greyjoy, arms writhing and reaching against a black field. The banner streamed from an iron mast, shivering and twisting as the wind gusted, like a bird struggling to take flight.

Thus the possibility that Petyr's nominal "father" Lord Baelish (or Petyr's nominal paternal "grandfather") was cuckolded by Quellon Greyjoy, the Hoare-esque sperm cannon from the land of cowbird-evoking "bovine eyes", whose sigil is likened to a bird, is right there in his mockingbird sigil.
Indeed, I very much wonder whether we're not told all about the super-pollinator Garth Greenhand in part as a 'rhyming' hint that Quellon Greyjoy was a super-pollinator who spread his "seed" amongst the ladies of what the ironborn call the "green lands".

The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo

The notion that Petyr's mockingbird sigil may nod to Petyr's supposed father (or supposed paternal grandfather) getting cuckolded by Quellon Greyjoy reminds me of a song brought to my attention by MaxPayload: The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo was recorded in the 1930s by at least two acts, including the British movie star [Gracie Fields] — the highest paid film actress in the world c. 1937 — and an act called "The Two Gilberts".
[HERE] is a link to the Fields version.
To say the lyrics of the song remind me of Littlefinger's story is if anything an understatement, beginning with the opening image of "a lovesick youth and maiden":

A lovesick youth and maiden (down on the farm)
With hearts so heavy laden (down on the farm)
They held each other's hands and looked into each other's eye
And started to tell each other lies

To say the least, Littlefinger is closely identified with being a lovesick youth and with lying (including about his sexploits with the sisters Tully). And notably, he and Sansa practically begin their relationship by agreeing to lie about her being his daughter. (Sansa's heart is notably 'heavy laden' when this happens upon arrival at Littlefinger's tower — and sheep farm.)
Regarding the "down on the farm" setting, ASOIAF makes regular reference to the bountiful crops and rich farmlands of the Tullys' Riverlands, and we see the courtyards of Riverrun "teem[ing] with… cows, sheep, and chickens" in ACOK Catelyn V.
The song continues with a first kiss "by the cowshed door" (recalling that we're told that Petyr's estate has "a sheepfold"):

He kissed her by the cowshed door
She said "I've not been kissed before"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

Petyr was, of course, Lysa's first kiss, and probably Catelyn's as well, as well as Lysa's first fuck (regarding which, rest assured that the song gets deep into sexual double-entendre soon enough):

[O]ver there, beneath that bower, she and Lysa had played at kissing with Petyr.
She had not thought of that in years. How young they all had been—she no older than Sansa, Lysa younger than Arya, and Petyr younger still, yet eager. The girls had traded him between them, serious and giggling by turns. It came back to her so vividly she could almost feel his sweaty fingers on her shoulders and taste the mint on his breath. There was always mint growing in the godswood, and Petyr had liked to chew it. He had been such a bold little boy, always in trouble. "He tried to put his tongue in my mouth," Catelyn had confessed to her sister afterward, when they were alone. "He did with me too," Lysa had whispered, shy and breathless. "I liked it." (AGOT Catelyn XI)
"Petyr's breath is always fresh … he was the first man I ever kissed, you know." -Lysa (ASOS Sansa VI)

Next we see the maiden tease the eager "lovesick youth", as Cat ostensibly teased Petyr:

He said "My love I'll swear to you"
She said "I'll smack you if you do"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly, said "Oh how you tease me"
"I'm so shy, I'm so shy, when you start to squeeze me"
He said "Come tell me pretty miss"
"Where did you learn to squeeze and kiss"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

I'd heard the name "Nellie Bly" before in the version of Frankie & Johnny recorded by the legendary father of country music, [Jimmie Rodgers], so hearing it again made me look it up. It turns out the name in both songs was borrowed from [a world-famous American journalist]. (Recall that GRRM went to school for journalism.)
The real Nellie Bly first became famous for writing an expose of conditions in a lunatic asylum for women in New York City. Her fame redoubled after she traveled around the world in 1889. She went on to write pulp serial novels and — notably, given Petyr's apparent designs on Sansa — to wed a much older millionaire man named . . . (wait for it) . . . "Seaman".
(Obviously "Seaman" resonates with the idea that Petyr is ironborn, with the sea in his eyes, and with the sperm-whale like "blowhole" on Petyr's lands, which recalls Theon's foregrounded semen from ACOK Theon I. It likewise suggests a reading of the song per which an older "Seaman" is seducing the "Nellie Bly". Could this presage Quellon seducing original Alayne, who I happen to believe has very intrepid genes herself?)
Anyway, back in the song, things take a "dark" turn:

She said "I love the twilight," down on the farm
Said he, "The dark is my light," down on the farm

My original Hoare-ish Littlefinger series highlighted various ways in which Petyr Baelish is Satan/Lucifedemon-coded, so the lovesick boy saying "The dark is my light" absolutely leaps out to me.
Especially because the couplet it's part of smells like it may well have informed a certain infamous exchange:

"Are you the Sword of the Morning now?"
"No. Men call me Darkstar, and I am of the night." (AFFC The Queenmaker)

Consider that the Sword of the Morning wields dawn, which colloquially coincides with (the maiden's preferred) morning "twilight", while we are clearly supposed to suspect that "Darkstar" (who is "of the night" a la the lovesick boy) — who is for some reason "the most dangerous man in Dorne" and who apparently resembles a "Dragonlord" — was sired by Aerys during his 270 visit to Dorne, with Aerys cuckolding, presumably, a man of House Dayne. (AFFC The Princess in the Tower; The Queenmaker) Note the double-entendre of laying pipe here — life-giving, fertilizing pipe, no less:

In 270 AC, during a visit to Sunspear, he told the Princess of Dorne that he would "make the Dornish deserts bloom" by digging a great underground canal beneath the mountains to bring water down from the rainwood. (TWOIAF)

There's a clear symmetry between the notion that Aeyrs cuckolded a Dayne to produce Darkstar and the idea that the noted Aerys-supporter and loyalist Quellon Greyjoy cuckolded a war hero small lord on the Fingers to produce Littlefinger. Doubly so if Littlefinger's mother was (as I have speculated elsewhere) the daughter of Duncan "the Small" Targaryen, Prince of Dragonflies.
If that couplet (in a song that otherwise smells Littlefingerian) reminds us of Darkstar, isn't it curious that the basic structure of Darkstar's implied origin (in the cuckolding of a small lord by a far greater lord) may (also/instead?) apply to Littlefinger's origin?
Back to The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo. The next line reads like a reference to Lysa's opinion of Petyr:

Said she "You seem to big and brave and mighty strong to me."

Compare with Lysa's very personal opinion of Petyr:

"He may not look as tall or strong as some, but he is worth more than all of them." (ASOS Sansa VI)

The song's next line is wild given Petyr and Lysa's history with moon tea (a tea brewed with certain plants not used in ordinary tea) and especially my conviction that [Petyr dosed Sansa with moon tea] during their voyage on the Merling King so as to make sure she was not pregnant with Tyrion's child:

Said he "Yes, I had onions for my tea."

(By the way, onions in ASOIAF are of course all about Davos. And who do I think Davos is? A possible Hoare-son or Quellon-son, and the Sailor's Wife's sailor, i.e. a sailor who sired a child and abandoned the mother, as, perhaps, Quellon sired Petyr on original-Alayne before leaving her to raise him on the Smallest Finger. Surely coincidence . . . unless this strange, weird old song has been informing George's Song since the mid-1990s.)
The lyrics continue with more Catelyn-esque teasing:

He said "I love you, yes I do"
She said to him "Oh yeah, says you?"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
He said "You're sweet beyond belief!"
Said she "You said it! OK, chief!"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

The lovesick boy is then encouraged to "walk 'round the houses"—

Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly, said "Walk 'round the houses"

—which 'just so happens' to recall rather closely Petyr and Sansa's sight-seeing tour of his lands, when "Petyr walked with her around his holdings", which include not just houses, but a symbolic sperm cannon and a reminder that foreigners sometimes land on these shores:

When the rains let up, Petyr walked with her around his holdings, which took less than half a day. He owned a lot of rocks, just as he had said. There was one place where the tide came jetting up out of a blowhole to shoot thirty feet into the air, and another where someone had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder. Petyr said that marked one of the places the Andals had landed, when they came across the sea to wrest the Vale from the First Men.
Farther inland a dozen families lived in huts of piled stone beside a peat bog.

The song then references farm work and (via double-entendre) sex:

"Just while I, just while I go and milk the cowses"

Milk cows are, of course, linked to wet nursing and babies. And remember: It's cowbirds who make like cuckoos and cuckold mockingbirds.
The double-entendre gradually becomes obvious:

As they sat 'neath the stars above
She says to him "Oh, what is love?
And the mockingbird went hee-haw and the donkey went cuckoo [note the reversal!]
Well she sat there and milked the cow [lol]
"I'll do my bit" said he, "and how!" [lmao]
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
He found an old three-legged stool
And sat right down to milk the bull [come on!]
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

A milked bull? Quellon's son Victarion is linkened to a bull. Was Victarion's sire "milked" of his "seed" by Alayne Baelish? Did Quellon not only marry a woman of House Stonetree, but bone a woman wed to a man whose sigil was a "stone head"?
Regarding that "three-legged stool", recall that the dragon must have three heads, that a cuckolder turns a partnership into a three-legged affair, so to speak, and that a man with a large penis (see: "Littlefinger"?) is sometimes said to have [a third leg].
From there the song grows only more suspicious as potential inspiration, as it makes explicit reference to concealed paternity, and implicitly to an improper sexual relationship involving a "father" (which see Littlefinger and "Alayne"):

Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly went all in a lather
Began to cry, shouting "Why, that's the cow's father!"
He turned white and looked surprised
Then to the bull apologized
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

The closing line about apologizing to the bull resonates with Petyr's dealings with Hoster, and perhaps with cuckoldry as well, as a trespass against patriarchal rights of possession over a woman.
The foregoing represents the seemingly better known Gracie Fields version. [The Two Gilberts version] is mostly the same, save for a few passages in the middle.
Sidebar: Regarding "The Two Gilberts", there 'just so happens' to be exactly two Gilberts in the ASOIAF canon.
One of ASOIAF's two Gilberts 'just so happens' to be one of the legendary scions of legendary sperm cannon and possibly Quellon Greyjoy analogue Garth Greenhand, Gilbert of the Vines, who 'just so happens' to be responsible for all that good Arbor wine Petyr loves so.
The other Gilbert is Gilbert Farring, who Stannis tells us "holds Storm's End for me". (ASOS Davos IV) Repeating that: ASOIAF'S second Gilbert "holds" something that belongs to Stannis in lieu of Stannis holding it himself. Almost like he's cuckolding him.
There are two other Farrings (like Gilbert) in the canon. One is Godry, "the Giantslayer", which sounds like something one might nickname a guy who cuckolded a guy with the Titan of Braavos on his shield. The other is Annara Farring. She was Lord Frey's seventh wife, and guess what she 'just so happens' to be known for? If you said "cuckolding her lordly husband", congratulations. And guess how we're told that? Via, of all things under the sun, a milk cow analogy:

[Black Walder had] had Edwyn's wife too, that was common knowledge, Fair Walda had been known to slip into his bed from time to time, and some even said he'd known the seventh Lady Frey [Annara Farring] a deal better than he should have. Small wonder he refused to marry. Why buy a cow when there were udders all around begging to be milked? (ASOS Epilogue)

(It was at this point that I went from "Maybe George has heard this song" to "George is 100% familiar with this song.")
End Sidebar
Right after the line about the onion tea, The Two Gilberts version sees the lovesick boy promise riches and wealth, recalling Petyr's lifelong interest in making money:

He said "I'll buy you furs and gems"
"And all the pretty thees[?] and thems[?]"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

CONTINUED & CONCLUDED IN OLDEST REPLY, BELOW or HERE

This post is the last post in a series looking at the massive amount of 'rhyming' recursivity I believe exists between (a) the homecoming of Petyr Baelish to the Fingers and (b) the homecoming of Theon Greyjoy to Pyke.
While this series/post can be read simply as a study 'for its own sake' of the curious recursion between these storylines, it is my belief that the 'rhyming' explored here between the stories of Petyr and Theon may exist (at least in part) to foreshadow that, like Theon, Petyr Littlefinger, is (among other things) a scion of ironborn kings, because Petyr is Hoare-ish: I.e. because Petyr's blood is (in some part) the blood of the ironborn kings of House Hoare of Orkmont and, later, Harrenhal.
This post is also post 25 of 25 in my broader series on the topic of a Hoare-ish Littlefinger, which is indexed [HERE].
Even if I'm wrong about Littlefinger's lineage, the 'rhyming' recursivity between the homecomings of Theon and Petyr detailed in this series remains, and certainly merits attention.
NOTE: In what follows, all uncited quotes are from ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Petyr's homecoming to his "Drearfort" tower of the 'Smallest Finger', or ACOK Theon I, which describes Theon's homecoming to "drear" Pyke.
As in past posts, I sometimes use "→" as shorthand for "'prefigures' and/or 'informs' and/or 'is reworked by' and/or 'finds a recursive rhyme in'.
As in: ACOK Theon I → ASOS Sansa VI.
This post picks up straight-away from where Part 9 left off. You can read Part 9 [HERE].
If you want to begin at the beginning, Part 1 is [HERE].

Aeron & Oswell

After Theon's homecoming chapter opens with Theon thinking "There was no safe anchorage at Pyke", which is copied nearly verbatim during Petyr's homecoming with Sansa, we see Theon anticipating his first glimpse of Pyke castle, and read this sentence:

Theon drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray, and looked for home.

That line proves to be a key part of a pun-tastic 'rhyme' between (a) Theon coming ashore from the Myraham and meeting Aeron and (b) Sansa coming ashore from the Merling King with the aid of Oswell.
I'll explain.
Note first that Oswell, who is…

…tall and gangling, with long white hair and a great hooked nose, with eyes shaded by a cowl [like a monk's cowl!]… (ACOK Theon V)

—clearly 'rhymes' with Aeron, an ascetic priest (see Oswell's monk-ish cowl) who is…

Tall and thin, with… a beak of a nose… [and] ropes of dried seaweed were braided through his waist-long black hair and untrimmed beard.

They're set up as yin and yang: Tall and similarly built with notable noses and long hair… but one has "long white hair", the other "long black hair", and Aeron has an "untrimmed beard" while Oswell is clean-shaven.
Aeron's beard is not simply a beard, though, but a beard with seaweed in it, which 'rhymes' with Oswell being not simply clean-shaven, but clean-shaven in a sea-faring way, as his "windburnt face"—

She studied the old man's lined windburnt face, hook nose, white hair, and huge knuckly hands. (ASOS Sansa VI)

—prefigures the "wind-chafed skin" of Aeron's niece Asha, which is tagged as typical of the sea-faring ironborn—

Ironborn, he knew at a glance; lean and long-legged, with… wind-chafed skin, strong sure hands….

—as are her notably "strong sure hands", which similarly 'rhyme' with Oswell's notably "huge knuckly hands".
SIDEBAR: As for Aeron's robes here being "green and grey" ("and blue"), this underlines that Petyr's oft-mentioned "grey-green" eyes are like the sea, which (as I've mentioned in previous posts) suggests per Archmaester Haereg's maxim—

"You may dress an ironman in silks and velvets, teach him to read and write and give him books, instruct him in chivalry and courtesy and the mysteries of the Faith… but when you look into his eyes, the sea will still be there, cold and grey and cruel." (TWOIAF)

—that Littlefinger is, at least in part, an ironman.
END SIDEBAR
The first thing we're told about Aeron after Theon realizes who he is is that "he washed up safe on shore"—

A memory prodded at Theon. In one of his rare curt letters, Lord Balon had written of his youngest brother going down in a storm, and turning holy when he washed up safe on shore. "Uncle Aeron?" he said doubtfully.

—which prefigures Oswell splashing his way ashore at the Smallest Finger:

Oswell and Lothor splashed their way ashore, as did Littlefinger himself.

(If Oswell is Aeron-ish, surely Petyr making like Oswell and splashing about in the surf here could foreshadow that he is Hoare-ish. And perhaps some kind of religious figure as well.)

Drawn Up Hoods

With that Oswell/Aeron 'rhyme' in mind, consider again that, as Theon approaches castle Pyke on the Myraham…

Theon drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray, and looked for home.

Sound familiar? That's because it's reworked when Sansa is rowed ashore by the "gangling", Aeron-esque Oswell:

Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore. Sansa huddled in the bow under her cloak with the hood drawn up against the wind….

When Sansa gets to shore, "two old men" help to make sure she doesn't get even a little bit wet—

The two old men waded out up to their thighs to lift Sansa from the boat so she would not get her skirts wet.

—which was, of course, exactly the thing Theon was trying to avoid back in ACOK when he "drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray", as Sansa drew hers "up against the wind" when Oswell rowed her in.

Gangplank → Gangling.

GRRM is just warming up. When Theon reaches Lordsport and disembarks from the Myraham, he, too, avoids getting wet. At least initially. Where Sansa uses "gangling" Oswell to come ashore, Theon uses… a "gangplank":

Without waiting for a reply [from Myraham's captain], he strode down the gangplank. "Innkeeper," he barked. "I require a horse".

Kneeling Servants

The innkeeper never gets Theon his horse, of course (of course), because Aeron shows up. And what does gangling white-haired Oswell's black-haired physical mirror Aeron do? He makes Theon get wet after all.

"Kneel."
The ground was all stones[!] and mud. "Uncle, I—"
"Kneel. Or are you too proud now, a lordling of the green lands come among us?"
Theon knelt. He had a purpose here, and might need Aeron's help to achieve it. A crown was worth a little mud and horseshit on his breeches, he supposed.
"Bow your head." Lifting the skin, his uncle pulled the cork and directed a thin stream of seawater down upon Theon's head. It drenched his hair and ran over his forehead into his eyes. Sheets washed down his cheeks, and a finger crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine. The salt made his eyes burn, until it was all he could do not to cry out. He could taste the ocean on his lips. "Let Theon your servant be born again from the sea, as you were," Aeron Greyjoy intoned. "Bless him with salt, bless him with stone, bless him with steel."

Note that Theon kneeling on "stones and mud… and horseshit" before a priest with "seaweed" in his beard is reworked even as Oswell rows Sansa ashore and she huddles in her cloak like Theon, when the Baelish household kneels on rocks covered by nasty seaweed and Sansa dodges sheepshit:

Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore. Sansa huddled in the bow under her cloak with the hood drawn up against the wind, wondering what awaited her. Servants emerged from the tower to meet them…. When they recognized Lord Petyr they knelt on the rocks.
[Petyr] led them up the strand over rocks slick with rotting seaweed. … Sansa had to step carefully; there were pellets [i.e. sheepshit] everywhere.

Blessings

Meanwhile, Aeron giving Theon his holy "bless[ing]" is reworked just before Sansa is rowed ashore, when Petyr asks for Sansa's "blessing" after he tells her they're not going to Winterfell and that he's going to wed Lysa:

"So silent, my lady?" said Petyr. "I was certain you would wish to give me your blessing. …"
"I . . . I pray you will have long years together, and many children, and be very happy in one another.

Sansa's reluctant acquiescence — both to giving the blessing and to going ashore and going along with Petyr's plan, which she had not anticipated — echoes Theon's reluctant acquiescence to both Aeron's blessing and Balon's plan of invasion, which he hadn't anticipated.
I suspect Littefinger was fed the line, "So silent, my lady?" before asking for Sansa's blessing as a nod to several pertinent silences in ACOK Theon I. First, the "sullen silence" of the Myraham's captain when he reluctantly acquiesces to Theon taking his would-be salt wife daughter below deck to get a blowjob; second, the "gloom of silence" between Theon and Aeron as they make the final approach to Pyke, post-blessing; and finally, Theon marking the absence of Euron's 'lady', Silence, as he sails into Lordsport:

Theon searched for his uncle Euron's Silence.

Truly, all things come round again.

Getting Wet & Staying Dry 1

But what about Aeron getting Theon pointedly wet? Aeron not only making Theon kneel but getting him wet and then riding with him to Pyke, is reworked (and reversed) not just by Oswell and Lothor rowing Sansa ashore — note the "rode" → "rowed" wordplay:

They [Aeron and Theon] rode in a gloom of silence.
Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore.

— and not just by Sansa being carried ashore and kept pointedly dry by two old men who were, seconds earlier, kneeling reverently on the seashore, but also by Aeron-ish Oswell helping Sansa "up" onto The Merling King from his rowboat while assuring her he won't let her fall into the sea, which he makes sure she doesn't:

The rower shipped the oars and helped Sansa to her feet. "Up now. Go on, girl, I got you." Sansa thanked him for his kindness, but received no answer but a grunt. It was much easier going up the rope ladder than it had been coming down the cliff. The oarsman Oswell followed close behind her… (ASOS Sansa V)

So: Where Oswell-ish Aeron forces Theon to kneel and then wets him down with seawater, ceremonially "drowning" him after he comes down the "gangplank", the "gangling" Aeron-ish Oswell helps Sansa "to her feet" and then "up" while promising not to let her fall in the sea, where she could drown.

Getting Wet & Staying Dry 2

Aeron forcing Theon to kneel and getting him wet before he "rode" with him to Pyke is also reworked/reversed inside Petyr's tower, when Sansa's 'other' rower Lothor protects Sansa from Marillion's rape attempt— from being (like Theon) forced to get "wet", so to speak:

"My blood is stirred. And yours, I know … there's no wench half so lusty as one bastard born. Are you wet for me?"
"I'm a maiden," she protested.
"Truly? Oh, Alayne, Alayne, my fair maid, give me the gift of your innocence.

The wetness motif is played up again:

"He put a hand on her breast, and squeezed. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes. You wouldn't want them ripped, I know. Come, sweet lady, heed your heart—"

He wants to "get [her] out of [her] wet clothes" so he can get her "wet", so to speak. But where Aeron forced Theon to "kneel" and get wet in language that suddenly reads as quite rapey and spine-chilling—

Sheets washed down his cheeks [which cheeks?], and a finger[!] crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine."

—before he "rode" with him to castle Pyke, Lothor Brune, who "rowed" Sansa ashore, keeps her safe and 'dry':

Sansa heard the soft sound of steel on leather. "Singer," a rough voice said, "best go, if you want to sing again." The light was dim, but she saw a faint glimmer of a blade.
The singer saw it too. "Find your own wench—" The knife flashed, and he cried out. "You cut me!"
"I'll do worse, if you don't go."
And quick as that, Marillion was gone. The other remained, looming over Sansa in the darkness. "Lord Petyr said watch out for you." It was Lothor Brune's voice, she realized.

Dagmer Cleftjaw → Lothor Brune

And what do you know? Oswell's rowing partner Lothor Brune is also prefigured by Theon's homecoming. Not by Aeron, but by Dagmer Cleftjaw, who Theon thinks of as he approaches Lordsport on the Myraham. In fact, there's a huge 'rhyme' between (a) Dagmer Cleftjaw and his "gut-churning scar", on the one hand, and (b) the beginning of ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Lothor Brune and Sansa's upset stomach (i.e. her churning guts) and seemingly permanently scarred psyche, on the other. I'll try to lay out now.
Consider first that as Theon approaches Lordsport on the Myraham, he goes below deck, where he thinks about Dagmer Cleftjaw (along with the sour-like-Aeron Sylas Sourmouth, who was discussed in Part 8):

As the Myraham made her way landward, Theon paced the deck restlessly, scanning the shore. He had not thought to find Lord Balon himself at quayside, but surely his father would have sent someone to meet him. Sylas Sourmouth the steward, Lord Botley, perhaps even Dagmer Cleftjaw. It would be good to look on Dagmer's hideous old face again.

We meet Dagmer in ACOK Theon III,

He smiled himself to show how it was done. It made for a hideous sight. Under a snowy white mane of hair, Dagmer Cleftjaw had the most gut-churning scar Theon had ever seen, the legacy of the longaxe that had near killed him as a boy. The blow had splintered his jaw, shattered his front teeth, and left him four lips where other men had but two. A shaggy beard covered his cheeks and neck, but the hair would not grow over the scar, so a shiny seam of puckered, twisted flesh divided his face like a crevasse through a snowfield "We could hear them singing," the old warrior said. "It was a good song, and they sang it bravely."
…Dagmer grinned more often and more broadly than Lord Balon ever had.
Ugly as it was, that smile brought back a hundred memories. Theon had seen it often as a boy, when he'd jumped a horse over a mossy wall, or flung an axe and split a target square. [More fond memories of Dagmer.]

We later learn that Dagmer is "fearsome" and a "fierce fighter" as well, despite being marked as aged by his "white mane of hair". (ADWD The King's Prize)
Dagmer's ship is named Foamdrinker, a double-entendre about ale-drinking, as he likes drinking, as well as reaving songs — especially the one a singer wrote about him:

He knew that would give Dagmer pause. A singer had made a song about the axe that cracked his jaw in half, and the old man loved to hear it. Whenever he was in his cups he would call for a reaving song, something loud and stormy that told of dead heroes and deeds of wild valor. (ACOK Theon III)

Balon puts Dagmer in Theon's reaving detachment. Theon foolishly resents this, not accepting that he is inexperienced and needs and could benefit enormously from a seasoned number two with whom he has a good relationship:

"You are to harry the Stony Shore, raiding the fishing villages and sinking any ships you chance to meet. … Aeron will accompany you, and Dagmer Cleftjaw."
…Theon felt as if he'd been slapped. He was being sent to do reaver's work, burning fishermen out of their hovels and raping their ugly daughters, and yet it seemed Lord Balon did not trust him sufficiently to do even that much. Bad enough to have to suffer the Damphair's scowls and chidings. With Dagmer Cleftjaw along as well, his command would be purely nominal. (ACOK Theon II)

Balon gives Theon Dagmer to help him, but Theon can only see it as an affront, so he tries to sideline him:

Dagmer Cleftjaw stood by the high carved prow of his longship, Foamdrinker. Theon had assigned him the task of guarding the ships; otherwise men would have called it Dagmer's victory, not his. A more prickly man might have taken that for a slight, but the Cleftjaw had only laughed. (ACOK Theon III)

That Splintery Ladder Again & Lothor's Hand Up

Now, remembering that we're introduced to Dagmer Cleftjaw while Theon is still aship en route to Pyke, consider again the first paragraph of Sansa VI, plus a bit more (which of course takes place while Petyr and Sansa are still aship en route to Petyr's Drearfort):

The ladder to the forecastle was steep and splintery, so Sansa accepted a hand up from Lothor Brune. Ser Lothor, she had to remind herself; the man had been knighted for his valor in the Battle of the Blackwater. Though no proper knight would wear those patched brown breeches and scuffed boots, nor that cracked and water-stained leather jerkin. A square-faced stocky man with a squashed nose and a mat of nappy grey hair, Brune spoke seldom. He is stronger than he looks, though. She could tell by the ease with which he lifted her, as if she weighed nothing at all. …
She had seldom ventured out on deck herself. Her little cabin was dank and cold, but Sansa had been sick for most of the voyage . . . sick with terror, sick with fever, or seasick . . . she could keep nothing down, and even sleep came hard. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw Joffrey… dying….
…Even this close to shore, the rolling of the ship made her tummy queasy.…
[Petyr] put a sympathetic arm about her shoulders. "Are you quite well? You look so pale."
"It's only my tummy. The seasickness."

We're subsequently reminded of Brune's "squashed nose" and "mat of nappy grey hair", and told of his "square jaw" and more:

With his squashed nose, square jaw, and nap of woolly grey hair, Brune could not be called comely, but he was not ugly either. … Sober, he was a quiet man, but a strong one. (AFFC Alayne II)

Recall too that Brune saves Sansa from Marillion, who tries to use her as Theon used the captain's daughter.
Having surveyed the field of (word)play, we can now see the 'rhyming':

• Where Theon goes below deck as he approaches Lordsport and thinks about Dagmer, whose jaw is (verbatim) "splintered", Sansa, with Brune's help, climbs up to the deck using a (verbatim) "splintered" ladder as she approaches the Drearfort.
  
• Where Theon spurns the 'hand up' Dagmer and his splintered jaw could have given him, "Sansa accept[s] a hand up from Lothor Brune" and climbs the "splintered" ladder.
  
• Where Theon think of the Cleftjaw, who has a "gut-churning scar", Sansa thinks about her literally churning guts — her upset "tummy".
  
• Where Theon thinks that Cleftjaw's "gut-churning scar" resulted from his being "near[ly] killed as a boy", Sansa's churning guts are related to the evident psychic scar she's suffered, which causes her to see a boy killed over and over again.
  
• Dagmer's "shattered" teeth and "splintered" jaw (and Dagmar being sent to "Torrhen's Square") → Brune's "squashed nose" and "square jaw"
  
• Where Dagmer is ironborn, and had his jaw "cracked… in half", Brune wears a "cracked and water-stained [as if from the sea]" jerkin.
  
• Dagmer's "snowy mane of white hair" → Brune's "mat of nappy grey hair"/"nap of woolly grey hair"
  
• Despite their 'old hair', Dagmer is "fierce" and "fearsome", Brune "strong".
  
• Where Dagmer's smile is "ugly" but nonetheless fills Theon with warm memories (defying its appearance), Brune, who "could not be called comely, but… was not ugly either", is "stronger than he looks".
  
• Where Dagmer "covered his cheeks and neck" with a beard but can't grow a 'proper' one due to his scar, which appears as a "seam", Brune doesn't look like a "proper knight" in his "patched… breeches" and "scuffed boots". (Note the sewing language — "seam" → "patched" — and the lexical similarity: "cheeks" → "breeches".)
  
• Both men seem to have a penchant for drink (per the implications of Sansa commenting on Brune's nature "when sober") and a foregrounded relationship with singers. (Where Dagmer loves singers and songs, Brune is in conflict with Marillion — although the deeds of "Lothor Apple-Eater" are likely sung of, like Dagmer's exploits.)
  

Thus just as the Aeron of Theon's homcoming 'rhymes' with the Oswell of Petyr's homecoming, so is Theon's Dagmer Cleftjaw reworked in the person of Petyr's Lothor Brune.
And thus everything about Petyr's homecoming continues to remind us of Theon's homecoming, which makes sense… if Petyr is likewise a scion of ironborn royalty (e.g. if he's Hoare-ish).

The End, and The Distinct Possibility That The Rhyme Between Petyr's and Theon's Homecomings Isn't (Just) About Petyr Being Hoare-ish, After All

That's it. That's all I got regarding the recursively 'rhyming' homecomings of Theon and Petyr. For me, the insane scope and depth of the 'rhyming' between Petyr's homecoming and the homcoming of a scion of ironborn kings is entirely consistent with my broader hypothesis: that the blood of ironborn kings likewise flows in the veins of Petyr Littlefinger — namely "the black blood" of House Hoare of Orkmont.
And yet . . .
It remains that notwithstanding that my Hoare-ish Littlefinger posts connected virtually everything we're told about House Hoare and its various historical kings with things we're told about Petyr Baelish, this (sub)series has detailed recursion not between Petyr and the Hoares, but between Petyr and Theon Greyjoy, who is like the Hoares in that his blood is that of ironborn kings, but who is, nonetheless, a Greyjoy.
It also remains that Theon is the grandson of Quellon Greyjoy, and that [as I show here] — or just scroll down, I'll reproduce that post in the comments — Quellon Greyjoy as described in both TWOIAF and in ASOIAF is nothing if not incredibly Hoare-esque, and not just because his policies and biography in TWOIAF 'rhyme' with the policies and biographies of various Hoare kings, but because ASOIAF proper subtly suggests he was something of a 'whore' in that AFFC makes it abundantly clear that Quellon was a prolific sperm cannon by repeating over and over that he sired nine sons we know of (on three different wives).
Recall, too, that we saw in [Part 2 of the original 'Littlefinger is Hoare-ish' series] that Petyr is in certain striking respects similar to Balon, to Euron, to Aeron, to Asha, and even to Victarion.
This all gives rise to the question: Does all the 'rhyming' between the homecomings of Theon Greyjoy and Petyr Baelish as detailed in this series 'merely' (further) hint that Petyr is (literally) Hoare-ish, and hence that he is like Theon in that he, too, is the scion of ironborn kings?
Or do all the Petyr-Greyjoy connections, coupled with Quellon's foregrounded fecundity and the presence of a barely concealed metaphor for an ocean-based sperm (whale) cannon on Petyr's estate (alongside a reminder of invaders from the sea)—

There was one place where the tide came jetting up out of a blowhole to shoot thirty feet into the air, and another where someone had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder. Petyr said that marked one of the places the Andals had landed, when they came across the sea to wrest the Vale from the First Men.

—hint that at some point during his travels, Quellon Greyjoy bedded Petyr's mother Alayne (or perhaps Petyr's father's mother), cuckolding her husband and impregnating her with Petyr (or Lord Baelish)?
Note that Quellon was a direct, analogous contemporary to Petyr's 'father': Both are said to have fought for the Targaryens in the War of the Ninepenny Kings.

The Mockingbird & The Cuckolding Cowbird

Here we must consider that Petyr's sigil is the mockingbird, and that certain species of mockingbirds (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-tailed_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilean_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-banded_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalk-browed_mockingbird) are well-known as hosts for the [brood parasitism] of certain [cowbirds]. That is, it is well-known that mockingbirds frequently care for the eggs of cowbirds and feed the hatched chicks of cowbirds as if they were their own offspring.
In short, mockingbirds accept being cuckolded.
Recall here that the men of Pyke greeted Theon with "bovine [as in cow, as in the cowbirds that cuckold mockingbirds] eyes", and that the o.g. brood parasites are cuckoo birds, from whence we derive our term "cuckolding".
Recall, too, that the Greyjoy banner over Pyke weirdly takes on the appearance of a bird during Theon's homecoming, which I've just spent 10 posts comparing to Petyr's homecoming:

Above the Sea Tower snapped his father's banner. The Myraham was too far off for Theon to see more than the cloth itself, but he knew the device it bore: the golden kraken of House Greyjoy, arms writhing and reaching against a black field. The banner streamed from an iron mast, shivering and twisting as the wind gusted, like a bird struggling to take flight.

Thus the possibility that Petyr's nominal "father" Lord Baelish (or Petyr's nominal paternal "grandfather") was cuckolded by Quellon Greyjoy, the Hoare-esque sperm cannon from the land of cowbird-evoking "bovine eyes", whose sigil is likened to a bird, is right there in his mockingbird sigil.
Indeed, I very much wonder whether we're not told all about the super-pollinator Garth Greenhand in part as a 'rhyming' hint that Quellon Greyjoy was a super-pollinator who spread his "seed" amongst the ladies of what the ironborn call the "green lands".

The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo

The notion that Petyr's mockingbird sigil may nod to Petyr's supposed father (or supposed paternal grandfather) getting cuckolded by Quellon Greyjoy reminds me of a song brought to my attention by MaxPayload: The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo was recorded in the 1930s by at least two acts, including the British movie star [Gracie Fields] — the highest paid film actress in the world c. 1937 — and an act called "The Two Gilberts".
To say the lyrics of the song remind me of Littlefinger's story is if anything an understatement, beginning with the opening image of "a lovesick youth and maiden":

A lovesick youth and maiden (down on the farm)
With hearts so heavy laden (down on the farm)
They held each other's hands and looked into each other's eye
And started to tell each other lies

To say the least, Littlefinger is closely identified with being a lovesick youth and with lying (including about his sexploits with the sisters Tully). And notably, he and Sansa practically begin their relationship by agreeing to lie about her being his daughter. (Sansa's heart is notably 'heavy laden' when this happens upon arrival at Littlefinger's tower — and sheep farm.)
Regarding the "down on the farm" setting, ASOIAF makes regular reference to the bountiful crops and rich farmlands of the Tullys' Riverlands, and we see the courtyards of Riverrun "teem[ing] with… cows, sheep, and chickens" in ACOK Catelyn V.
The song continues with a first kiss "by the cowshed door" (recalling that we're told that Petyr's estate has "a sheepfold"):

He kissed her by the cowshed door
She said "I've not been kissed before"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

Petyr was, of course, Lysa's first kiss, and probably Catelyn's as well, as well as Lysa's first fuck (regarding which, rest assured that the song gets deep into sexual double-entendre soon enough):

[O]ver there, beneath that bower, she and Lysa had played at kissing with Petyr.
She had not thought of that in years. How young they all had been—she no older than Sansa, Lysa younger than Arya, and Petyr younger still, yet eager. The girls had traded him between them, serious and giggling by turns. It came back to her so vividly she could almost feel his sweaty fingers on her shoulders and taste the mint on his breath. There was always mint growing in the godswood, and Petyr had liked to chew it. He had been such a bold little boy, always in trouble. "He tried to put his tongue in my mouth," Catelyn had confessed to her sister afterward, when they were alone. "He did with me too," Lysa had whispered, shy and breathless. "I liked it." (AGOT Catelyn XI)
"Petyr's breath is always fresh … he was the first man I ever kissed, you know." -Lysa (ASOS Sansa VI)

Next we see the maiden tease the eager "lovesick youth", as Cat ostensibly teased Petyr:

He said "My love I'll swear to you"
She said "I'll smack you if you do"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly, said "Oh how you tease me"
"I'm so shy, I'm so shy, when you start to squeeze me"
He said "Come tell me pretty miss"
"Where did you learn to squeeze and kiss"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

I'd heard the name "Nellie Bly" before in the version of Frankie & Johnny recorded by the legendary father of country music, [Jimmie Rodgers], so hearing it again made me look it up. It turns out the name in both songs was borrowed from [a world-famous American journalist]. (Recall that GRRM went to school for journalism.)
The real Nellie Bly first became famous for writing an expose of conditions in a lunatic asylum for women in New York City. Her fame redoubled after she traveled around the world in 1889. She went on to write pulp serial novels and — notably, given Petyr's apparent designs on Sansa — to wed a much older millionaire man named . . . (wait for it) . . . "Seaman".
(Obviously "Seaman" resonates with the idea that Petyr is ironborn, with the sea in his eyes, and with the sperm-whale like "blowhole" on Petyr's lands, which recalls Theon's foregrounded semen from ACOK Theon I. It likewise suggests a reading of the song per which an older "Seaman" is seducing the "Nellie Bly". Could this presage Quellon seducing original-Alayne, who I happen to believe has very intrepid genes herself?)
Anyway, back in the song, things take a "dark" turn:

She said "I love the twilight," down on the farm
Said he, "The dark is my light," down on the farm

My original Hoare-ish Littlefinger series highlighted various ways in which Petyr Baelish is Satan/Lucifedemon-coded, so the lovesick boy saying "The dark is my light" absolutely leaps out to me.
Especially because the couplet it's part of smells like it may well have informed a certain infamous exchange:

"Are you the Sword of the Morning now?"
"No. Men call me Darkstar, and I am of the night." (AFFC The Queenmaker)

Consider that the Sword of the Morning wields dawn, which colloquially coincides with (the maiden's preferred) morning "twilight", while we are clearly supposed to suspect that "Darkstar" (who is "of the night" a la the lovesick boy) — who is for some reason "the most dangerous man in Dorne" and who apparently resembles a "Dragonlord" — was sired by Aerys during his 270 visit to Dorne, with Aerys cuckolding, presumably, a man of House Dayne. (AFFC The Princess in the Tower; The Queenmaker) Note the double-entendre of laying pipe here — life-giving, fertilizing pipe, no less:

In 270 AC, during a visit to Sunspear, he told the Princess of Dorne that he would "make the Dornish deserts bloom" by digging a great underground canal beneath the mountains to bring water down from the rainwood. (TWOIAF)

There's a clear symmetry between the notion that Aeyrs cuckolded a Dayne to produce Darkstar and the idea that the noted Aerys-supporter and loyalist Quellon Greyjoy cuckolded a war hero small lord on the Fingers to produce Littlefinger. Doubly so if Littlefinger's mother was (as I have speculated elsewhere) the daughter of Duncan "the Small" Targaryen, Prince of Dragonflies.
If that couplet (in a song that otherwise smells Littlefingerian) reminds us of Darkstar, isn't it curious that the basic structure of Darkstar's implied origin (in the cuckolding of a small lord by a far greater lord) may (also/instead?) apply to Littlefinger's origin?
Back to The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo. The next line reads like a reference to Lysa's opinion of Petyr:

Said she "You seem to big and brave and mighty strong to me."

Compare with Lysa's very personal opinion of Petyr:

"He may not look as tall or strong as some, but he is worth more than all of them." (ASOS Sansa VI)

The song's next line is wild given Petyr and Lysa's history with moon tea (a tea brewed with certain plants not used in ordinary tea) and especially my conviction that [Petyr dosed Sansa with moon tea] during their voyage on the Merling King so as to make sure she was not pregnant with Tyrion's child:

Said he "Yes, I had onions for my tea."

(By the way, onions in ASOIAF are of course all about Davos. And who do I think Davos is? A possible Hoare-son or Quellon-son, and the Sailor's Wife's sailor, i.e. a sailor who sired a child and abandoned the mother, as, perhaps, Quellon sired Petyr on Alayne before leaving her to raise him on the Smallest Finger. Surely coincidence . . . unless this strange, weird old song has been informing George's Song since the mid-1990s.)
The lyrics continue with more Catelyn-esque teasing:

He said "I love you, yes I do"
She said to him "Oh yeah, says you?"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
He said "You're sweet beyond belief!"
Said she "You said it! OK, chief!"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

The lovesick boy is then encouraged to "walk 'round the houses"—

Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly, said "Walk 'round the houses"

—which 'just so happens' to recall rather closely Petyr and Sansa's sight-seeing tour of his lands, when "Petyr walked with her around his holdings", which include not just houses, but a symbolic sperm cannon and a reminder that foreigners sometimes land on these shores:

When the rains let up, Petyr walked with her around his holdings, which took less than half a day. He owned a lot of rocks, just as he had said. There was one place where the tide came jetting up out of a blowhole to shoot thirty feet into the air, and another where someone had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder. Petyr said that marked one of the places the Andals had landed, when they came across the sea to wrest the Vale from the First Men.
Farther inland a dozen families lived in huts of piled stone beside a peat bog.

The song then references farm work and (via double-entendre) sex:

"Just while I, just while I go and milk the cowses"

Milk cows are, of course, linked to wet nursing and babies. And remember: It's cowbirds who make like cuckoos and cuckold mockingbirds.
The double-entendre gradually becomes obvious:

As they sat 'neath the stars above
She says to him "Oh, what is love?
And the mockingbird went hee-haw and the donkey went cuckoo [note the reversal!]
Well she sat there and milked the cow [lol]
"I'll do my bit" said he, "and how!" [lmao]
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
He found an old three-legged stool
And sat right down to milk the bull [come on!]
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

A milked bull? Quellon's son Victarion is linkened to a bull. Was Victarion's sire "milked" of his "seed" by Alayne Baelish? Did Quellon not only marry a woman of House Stonetree, but bone a woman wed to a man whose sigil was a "stone head"?
Regarding that "three-legged stool", recall that the dragon must have three heads, that a cuckolder turns a partnership into a three-legged affair, so to speak, and that a man with a large penis (see: "Littlefinger"?) is sometimes said to have [a third leg].
From there the song grows only more suspicious as potential inspiration, as it makes explicit reference to concealed paternity, and implicitly to an improper sexual relationship involving a "father" (which see Littlefinger and "Alayne"):

Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly went all in a lather
Began to cry, shouting "Why, that's the cow's father!"
He turned white and looked surprised
Then to the bull apologized
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

The closing line about apologizing to the bull resonates with Petyr's dealings with Hoster, and perhaps with cuckoldry as well, as a trespass against patriarchal rights of possession over a woman.
The foregoing represents the seemingly better known Gracie Fields version. The Two Gilberts version is mostly the same, save for a few passages in the middle.
Sidebar: Regarding "The Two Gilberts", there 'just so happens' to be exactly two Gilberts in the ASOIAF canon.
One of ASOIAF's two Gilberts 'just so happens' to be one of the legendary scions of legendary sperm cannon and possibly Quellon Greyjoy analogue Garth Greenhand, Gilbert of the Vines, who 'just so happens' to be responsible for all that good Arbor wine Petyr loves so.
The other Gilbert is Gilbert Farring, who Stannis tells us "holds Storm's End for me". (ASOS Davos IV) Repeating that: ASOIAF'S second Gilbert "holds" something that belongs to Stannis in lieu of Stannis holding it himself. Almost like he's cuckolding him.
There are two other Farrings (like Gilbert) in the canon. One is Godry, "the Giantslayer", which sounds like something one might nickname a guy who cuckolded a guy with the Titan of Braavos on his shield. The other is Annara Farring. She was Lord Frey's seventh wife, and guess what she 'just so happens' to be known for? If you said "cuckolding her lordly husband", congratulations. And guess how we're told that? Via, of all things under the sun, a milk cow analogy:

[Black Walder had] had Edwyn's wife too, that was common knowledge, Fair Walda had been known to slip into his bed from time to time, and some even said he'd known the seventh Lady Frey [Annara Farring] a deal better than he should have. Small wonder he refused to marry. Why buy a cow when there were udders all around begging to be milked? (ASOS Epilogue)

(It was at this point that I went from "Maybe George has heard this song" to "George is 100% familiar with this song.")
End Sidebar
Right after the line about the onion tea, The Two Gilberts version sees the lovesick boy promise riches and wealth, recalling Petyr's lifelong interest in making money:

He said "I'll buy you furs and gems"
"And all the pretty thees[?] and thems[?]"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

CONTINUED & CONCLUDED IN OLDEST REPLY, BELOW or HERE

So there was this song on early tiktok days which pretty girls used to lip sync. It went something like 'kiss him on the cheek ya'. I am sure there was the word 'kiss' in the song and many lines ended with 'ya'. Not sure if it was cheek or lips though. Also it had the word 'boyfriend' in it and had pauses between lines , kinda felt like rock. It was widely popular and used by many girls for lipsyncing tiktoks

With ChatGPT blowing up over the past year, it seems like every person and their grandmother is launching an AI startup. There are a plethora of AI tools available, some excellent and some less so. Amid this flood of new technology, there are a few hidden gems that I personally find incredibly useful, having reviewed them for my AI directory. Here are the ones I have personally integrated into my workflow in both my professional and entreprenuerial life:

• Plus AI for Google Slides - Generate Presentations There's a few slide deck generators out there however I've found Plus AI works much better at helping you 'co-write' slides rather than simply spitting out a mediocre finished product that likely won't be useful. For instance, there's "sticky notes" to slides with suggestions on how to finish / edit / improve each slide. Another major reason why I've stuck with Plus AI is the ability for "snapshots", or the ability to use external data (i.e. from web sources/dashboards) for your presentations. For my day job I work in a chemical plant as an engineer, and one of my tasks is to present in meetings about production KPIs to different groups for different purposes- and graphs for these are often found across various internal web apps. I can simply use Plus AI to generate "boilerplate" for my slide deck, then go through each slide to make sure it's using the correct snapshot. The presentation generator itself is completely free and available as a plugin for Google Slides and Docs.

• My AskAI - ChatGPT Trained on Your Documents Great tool for using ChatGPT on your own files and website. Works very well especially if you are dealing with a lot of documents. The basic plan allows you to upload over 100 files and this was a life saver during online, open book exams for a few training courses I've taken. I've noticed it hallucinates much less compared to other GPT-powered bots trained on your knowledge base. For this reason I prefer My AskAI for research or any tasks where accuracy is needed over the other custom chatbot solutions I have tried. Another plus is that it shows the sources within your knowledge base where it got the answers from, and you can choose to have it give you a more concise answer or a more detailed one. There's a free plan however it was worth it for me to get the $20/mo option as it allows over 100 pieces of content.

• Krater.ai - All AI Tools in One App Perfect solution if you use many AI tools and loathe having to have multiple tabs open. Essentially combines text, audio, and image-based generative AI tools into a single web app, so you can continue with your workflow without having to switch tabs all the time. There's plenty of templates available for copywriting- it beats having to prompt manually each time or having to save and reference prompts over and over again. I prefer Krater over Writesonic/Jasper for ease of use. You also get 10 generations a month for free compared to Jasper offering none, so its a better free option if you want an all-in-one AI content solution. The text to speech feature is simple however works reliably fast and offers multilingual transcription, and the image generator tool is great for photo-realistic images.

• HARPA AI - ChatGPT Inside Chrome Simply by far the best GTP add-on for Chrome I've used. Essentially gives you GPT answers beside the typical search results on any search engine such as Google or Bing, along with the option to "chat" with any web page or summarize YouTube videos. Also great for writing emails and replying to social media posts with its preset templates. Currently they don't have any paid features, so it's entirely free and you can find it on the chrome web store for extensions.

• Taskade - All in One Productivity/Notes/Organization AI Tool Combines tasks, notes, mind maps, chat, and an AI chat assistant all within one platform that syncs across your team. Definitely simplifies my day-to-day operations, removing the need to swap between numerous apps. Also helps me to visualize my work in various views - list, board, calendar, mind map, org chart, action views - it's like having a Swiss Army knife for productivity. Personally I really like the AI 'mind map.' It's like having a brainstorming partner that never runs out of energy. Taskade's free version has quite a lot to offer so no complaints there.

• Zapier + OpenAI - AI-Augmented Automations Definitely my secret productivity powerhouse. Pretty much combines the power of Zapier's cross-platform integrations with generative AI. One of the ways I've used this is pushing Slack messages to create a task on Notion, with OpenAI writing the task based on the content of the message. Another useful automation I've used is for automatically writing reply drafts with GPT from emails that get sent to me in Gmail. The opportunities are pretty endless with this method and you can pretty much integrate any automation with GPT 3, as well as DALLE-2 and Whisper AI. It's available as an app/add-on to Zapier and its free for all the core features.

• SaneBox - AI Emails Management If you are like me and find important emails getting lost in a sea of spam, this is a great solution. Basically Sanebox uses AI to sift through your inbox and identify emails that are actually important, and you can also set it up to make certain emails go to specific folders. Non important emails get sent to a folder called SaneLater and this is something you can ignore entirely or check once in a while. Keep in mind that SaneBox doesn't actually read the contents of your email, but rather takes into consideration the header, metadata, and history with the sender. You can also finetune the system by dragging emails to the folder it should have gone to. Another great feature is the their "Deep Clean", which is great for freeing up space by deleting old emails you probably won't ever need anymore. Sanebox doesn't have a free plan however they do have a 2 week trial, and the pricing is quite affordable, depending on the features you need.

• Hexowatch AI - Detect Website Changes with AI Lifesaver if you need to ever need to keep track of multiple websites. I use this personally for my AI tools directory, and it notifies me of any changes made to any of the 1000+ websites for AI tools I have listed, which is something that would take up more time than exists in a single day if I wanted to keep on top of this manually. The AI detects any types of changes (visual/HTML) on monitored webpages and sends alert via email or Slack/Telegram/Zapier. Like Sanebox there's no free plan however you do get what you pay for with this one.

• Bonus: SongsLike X - Find Similar Songs This one won't be generating emails or presentations anytime soon, but if you like grinding along to music like me you'll find this amazing. Ironically it's probably the one I use most on a daily basis. You can enter any song and it will automatically generate a Spotify playlist for you with similar songs. I find it much more accurate than Spotify's "go to song radio" feature.

While it's clear that not all of these tools may be directly applicable to your needs, I believe that simply being aware of the range of options available can be greatly beneficial. This knowledge can broaden your perspective on what's possible and potentially inspire new ideas.
P.S. If you liked this, as mentioned previously I've created a free directory that lists over 1000 AI tools. It's updated daily and there's also a GPT-powered chatbot to help you AI tools for your needs. Feel free to check it out if it's your cup of tea

The city of Caligo, capital of the magical kingdom Luminis Obscurum, sat nestled at the heart of a labyrinthine mountain range. Its ominous silhouette sprawled in every direction, its myriad structures draped in dark violet hues, gleaming under the eerie light of a moon perpetually shrouded by a veil of foreboding crimson clouds. The city was surrounded by an intricate lacework of floating islands, shrouded in perpetual twilight, held aloft by a blend of mystical forces and practical alchemy. Like a thousand demon eyes, the lights of Caligo blinked and twinkled in the perpetual night.
At the center of the city rose the Coliseum Arcanum, a gargantuan amphitheater that dominated the skyline. Its impossibly tall spires pierced the heavens, each adorned with statues and banners that howled in the ceaseless wind. Built from dark obsidian stone that seemed to drink in the light, the coliseum was the heart of the city, pulsating with the rhythm of the wild and brutal contests it hosted.
The air was thick with anticipation as the annual Grand Arcana Tournament was about to begin. Warriors from every corner of the kingdom and beyond had gathered to partake in a ruthless test of strength, endurance, and arcane mastery. The stakes were high, for the winner would be granted one wish — any request within the realm of possibility, as promised by the arcane potentates who ruled Luminis Obscurum.
And so, five extraordinary individuals found themselves on the cusp of the city, overlooking the sprawling urban expanse. The depth of their bond was reflected in the aura of resilience they radiated, a testament to the hardships they had weathered together.
Askari, the warrior monk, was the group's spiritual compass, guiding them through their trials with an unwavering determination reminiscent of his celestial forebear, Sun Wukong. His build was sinewy, every muscle carved from a lifetime of discipline and dedication. He carried the Ruyi Jingu Bang, an unyielding staff as flexible in combat as the very air, a symbol of his birthright and testament to his strength.
Skyblitz, an Aarakocra of intimidating stature, stood beside him. His feathers were as sharp as razors, their metallic sheen reflecting the enigmatic moonlight. He was a master of the turbulent winds, manipulating the very air around him into deadly weapons or sturdy shields. His eyes held a hint of wisdom that belied his avian wildness.
Next stood Redroot, the Goliath, towering over his companions. His skin bore the weathered marks of the mountain he hailed from, and the deep, unyielding roots that had fostered him. His magic was as much a part of him as the very rock he could command — sturdy, unwavering, and titanic in its ferocity.
Joneson, the Oathbreaker, was a stark contrast to the rest. A former Paladin who had turned his back on his sacred vows, he was a mystery, even to his closest friends. The void he mastered was as perplexing and enigmatic as the man himself. His aura was dark, pulsating with an energy that sent shivers down the spines of even the bravest.
Lastly, there was IraTater, the Poison Dragonborn, a creature of mischief and mayhem. His scales shimmered an iridescent green under the glow of the distant city, a signal of the deadly toxin that coursed through his veins. His crooked grin revealed rows of sharp teeth, a sign of his nonchalant attitude towards the world and its troubles.
Their gazes were collectively locked on the imposing structure at the heart of the city, an ominous sense of destiny pervading their silence.
"Y'all ready for this?" IraTater broke the silence, a playful grin spreading across his face.
Skyblitz responded with a solemn nod, his avian eyes reflecting a hardened resolve. "It's why we're here, isn't it?" His voice was calm, a lull in the storm.
Redroot's massive hand came to rest on the Aarakocra's shoulder, his deep voice rumbling like a landslide. "We face this together. As always."
Askari turned towards Joneson, his eyes searching the Paladin's shrouded countenance. "What of you, Joneson? Are you prepared to stand with us once again?"
The Oathbreaker turned his gaze away from the city, looking into the eyes of his comrades. His eyes held a profound sadness, but beneath it lay a flicker of defiance. "The void in my past may never be filled. But today, I fight for you, my brothers. For us."
A shared grin spread among them, and they extended their hands into a joint fist bump, their pact reaffirmed. They had faced challenges before, but the battles that lay ahead were unlike any they had experienced. The stakes were high, the odds were daunting, but the strength of their bond held firm.
As the first rays of false dawn cast their ethereal light on the city of Caligo, the friends stepped onto the path leading into the heart of Luminis Obscurum, their hearts aflame with determination and camaraderie. The Grand Arcana Tournament awaited, and the fate of five friends was about to intertwine with the destiny of an entire kingdom.
Having traversed the twisted maze of Caligo's cobblestone streets, the friends found themselves at the foot of the Coliseum Arcanum. Up close, its enormity was almost incomprehensible, the structure dwarfing everything around it.
The surrounding area was a riotous carnival, alive with an intoxicating mix of excitement and dread. Vibrant market stalls, whimsical parades, and arcane showcases adorned the streets, a tumultuous celebration of the upcoming bloodshed. Over the cacophony of jubilations, the friends could hear the roar of the crowd within the coliseum, their excitement a palpable force in the air.
As they entered the coliseum, a servile goblin ushered them to a preparation chamber. The room was dimly lit, the air saturated with the metallic tang of past battles and the musk of warriors preparing for combat.
"The matches will be one on one," the goblin's voice crackled, his eyes filled with a strange blend of fear and respect. "You'll be facing the Revenant Reapers. They're a brutal team—"
"No need to worry, friend," IraTater interrupted, flashing the goblin a toothy grin. "We can handle a bit of brutality."
The goblin nodded nervously, taking a few steps back before scurrying away.
"The Revenant Reapers, huh?" Skyblitz murmured, the name rolling off his tongue like a curse. "I've heard rumors. They're supposed to be ruthless."
"Most competitors here are," Redroot rumbled, his massive hands balling into fists. "But so are we."
Askari nodded, the warrior monk's eyes reflecting a deep-seated determination. "We will face this challenge as we have faced all others - together."
The air in the chamber vibrated with their shared resolve. The friends began to prepare for the upcoming fight, the sounds of their armor and weapons echoing in the chamber.
---
Meanwhile, in a similar chamber on the opposite side of the coliseum, a team of formidable warriors prepared for combat. The Revenant Reapers, a team as ruthless as their moniker suggested, were eager to engage in the deadly dance of the tournament.
There was Grimmhilt, a necromancer dwarf whose powers had brought him an unsettling semblance of immortality. Aridorn, an Elven sorcerer with the essence of elemental fire at his fingertips. Shifty Snigg, a halfling rogue with a penchant for bloodshed. Zul'Kur, an Orc shaman capable of summoning the wrath of the ancients. And finally, Galros, a tiefling warlock whose pact with a powerful demon endowed him with a frightening array of dark magic.
"Got our match-ups for the first round," Grimmhilt's gravelly voice resonated in the chamber, his hands holding a piece of parchment. "I've got Askari, the warrior monk. Aridorn, you're up against Skyblitz, the bird-man. Snigg, you'll take the Goliath, Redroot. Zul'Kur, you have the Oathbreaker, Joneson. And Galros, you get to play with the poison Dragonborn, IraTater."
A chorus of anticipatory laughter echoed through the chamber. These were fighters who lived for the thrill of the fight, the rush of blood, and the sweet taste of victory.
---
The time for the first match approached, and an electric tension filled the air. As the friends exited their preparation chamber, they stepped into the staggering expanse of the Coliseum Arcanum.
High above them, in a throne overlooking the entirety of the Coliseum, sat the announcer, an eccentric gnome by the name of Razzle Fizzlebop. With a voice amplified by magical means, he welcomed the crowd to the grand spectacle about to unfold.
"Welcome, one and all, to the Grand Arcana Tournament!" His voice boomed across the Coliseum, echoing off the obsidian walls. "In this corner, a team like no other, bonded by courage, a quintet of outstanding warriors: Askari, Skyblitz, Redroot, Joneson, and IraTater! And in the other corner, a ruthless band of hardened fighters, known for their merciless tactics: the Revenant Reapers!"
A deafening cheer erupted from the spectators as the two teams stepped into the arena, each fighter sizing up their respective opponent.
"May the best team prevail!" Razzle Fizzlebop's voice rang out, a signal of the brutal spectacle to come. "Let the Grand Arcana Tournament commence!"
The friends shared a final look of camaraderie, each promising the other that no matter what happened, they would face it together.
As the echoes of the crowd's cheers filled the air, the friends braced themselves. The stage was set. The dance of death was about to begin.
With the commencement of the tournament, the atmosphere within the Coliseum Arcanum transformed. The anticipation reached fever pitch, the audience holding their collective breath as the first combatants took center stage.
"IraTater of the Brotherhood!" Razzle Fizzlebop's voice resonated through the coliseum, his enthusiastic tone whipping the crowd into a frenzy. "Versus Galros of the Revenant Reapers! A venomous dance with the flames of the inferno!"
IraTater walked into the spotlight, his scales shimmering like deadly emeralds. He offered the crowd a cheeky wave, his usual levity on full display despite the high stakes.
Across the battlefield, Galros stood, a menacing figure swathed in a cloak of shadowy flames. His eyes glowed with a fiery intensity, a visual testament to the infernal pact that fueled his magic.
"As per the rules of the Grand Arcana Tournament," Razzle continued, "The fight will go on until one fighter yields, is incapacitated, or… worse."
IraTater couldn't help but roll his eyes at the gnome's dramatic flair. "Alright, big guy," he called to Galros, "Let's give 'em a show."
The tiefling merely smirked, his hands beginning to dance in the intricate patterns of arcane sigils, summoning the deadly magic of his infernal pact.
The match began in earnest, Galros opening with a volley of "Hellfire Bolts", flaming projectiles that exploded upon impact. IraTater nimbly evaded, his agile form a blur on the battlefield.
With a growl, IraTater retaliated with a "Venomous Torrent," a wave of toxic energy that radiated from his outstretched claws. Galros, however, was quick to erect an "Infernal Barrier," absorbing the brunt of the toxic assault.
The two continued to exchange blows, Galros utilizing destructive pyromancy, while IraTater countered with his unique blend of agility and venomous magic. Despite his playful demeanor, IraTater's prowess was undeniable, his movements punctuated by fluidity and precision.
However, as the battle progressed, it became apparent to IraTater that he was gradually being outmatched. Galros' infernal magic was relentless, and while IraTater's agility and venom-based attacks were formidable, they were not enough to keep up with Galros' fiery onslaught.
Spotting his opportunity, Galros decided to play dirty, casting a "Shadow Bind," an underhanded spell designed to immobilize his opponent by exploiting a moment of weakness. The crowd gasped as dark tendrils snaked from Galros' fingers, aiming to entrap IraTater.
But the Dragonborn was not so easily subdued. A deep, guttural growl escaped him as he looked into Galros' smirking face. "You want to play dirty?" He hissed, his scales standing on end as a surge of poisonous energy coursed through his veins.
Embracing his raw power, IraTater unleashed his "Basilisk Strike." His form became a blur, moving with such speed that it seemed to split into multiple images. In the blink of an eye, he closed the gap between him and Galros, his claw striking true. A potent burst of venomous energy erupted from his fingertips, the impact rocking the entire arena.
Galros' smirk was wiped clean off his face as he was thrown backward, crashing into the arena's boundary with an impact that left a crater in the obsidian. The tiefling's body was immobile, his defeat unmistakable.
"And the first round goes to IraTater!" Razzle Fizzlebop's voice echoed throughout the Coliseum Arcanum, the crowd erupting into cheers.
In the shadows of the entrance to the arena, Askari watched with a stormy expression. His fists clenched at his sides, his gaze fixed on the incapacitated form of Galros. He had always believed in the sanctity of honorable combat, and Galros' underhanded tactic had struck a nerve.
As Razzle Fizzlebop announced the next match - Askari versus Grimmhilt - the warrior monk stepped onto the battlefield, his gaze determined and unwavering. He had always held himself to a code of honor, and this fight would be no different. He would win for his friends, and he would do it with dignity.
And so, as the crowd's cheers echoed through the grand Coliseum, the stage was set for the next deadly dance in the Grand Arcana Tournament.
A tense hush fell over the spectators as the next combatants were announced. "Ladies and gentlemen, the next duel in the Grand Arcana Tournament," Razzle Fizzlebop's voice rang out, clear and resonant. "Askari of the Brotherhood versus Grimmhilt of the Revenant Reapers!"
Askari moved to center stage, his warrior monk training evident in his fluid grace. The crowd watched in anticipation as an ethereal golden aura shimmered around him, an echo of his inherent power. Even from a distance, the intensity of his aura was palpable, a testament to his descent from the legendary Sun Wukong.
Opposite him stood Grimmhilt, a dwarf necromancer shrouded in an aura of decay and death. His eyes glowed with an unnatural light as he prepared his formidable defenses.
"Hey, Grimmhilt," Askari called out, his voice carrying over the silence of the coliseum. "I hope you're prepared. Because I plan to end this quickly."
A sinister grin spread across Grimmhilt's face, his voice raspy with cruel amusement. "We'll see about that, monkey boy."
With a resounding gong, the duel began. As expected, Grimmhilt wasted no time in erecting his "Undead Bastion," a towering barrier of necrotic energy intended to shield him from Askari's attacks.
However, Askari was not deterred. With a deep breath, he centered himself, focusing his energy as he had been taught in the monasteries of his homeland. His aura shimmered and intensified, the spiritual energy forming a colossal image of a multi-armed deity, an embodiment of Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Infinite Compassion.
Grimmhilt's grin faltered as he beheld the spectacle. But before he could react, Askari launched his attack.
"Avalokiteshvara Strike!" Askari roared, the ethereal deity mimicking his movements as they launched a barrage of attacks. Each strike was a concentrated blast of his aura, a devastating assault that battered Grimmhilt's barrier.
The "Undead Bastion," despite its formidable defenses, crumbled under the onslaught. Grimmhilt, robbed of his protective shield, was at the mercy of Askari's barrage. The warrior monk's assault was relentless and in an instant, it was over.
Grimmhilt was left sprawled on the ground, his defenses shattered, his energy depleted. The crowd erupted into cheers as Razzle Fizzlebop announced Askari's victory. "Askari of the Brotherhood is the winner!"
As Askari made his way back to his friends, he was met with high fives and words of praise. The victory, however, brought him no joy. His face remained stern, his mind already on the upcoming battles.
As Skyblitz stepped forward to take the stage, Askari extended his fist to his oldest friend. Skyblitz bumped it with his own, a silent promise of the fight to come. Askari could only hope that the rest of their battles would be fought with honor, for the sake of their brotherhood and the sacred principles they upheld.
"Prepare yourselves, for the gust of competition is about to take flight!" Razzle Fizzlebop's enthusiastic proclamation echoed throughout the coliseum, whipping the spectators into a whirlwind of anticipation. "Skyblitz of the Brotherhood versus Aridorn of the Revenant Reapers!"
Skyblitz emerged onto the battlefield, the embodiment of avian majesty and power. His feathered form shimmered as a warm gust swirled around him, a tangible display of his command over wind magic.
His opponent, Aridorn, carried an imposing aura of his own. His silver hair seemed to flow like mercury, capturing the ominous sheen of his cold eyes. As an Elf warrior, he drew upon the arcane forces at his command, his body language exuding icy determination.
As the starting signal echoed across the coliseum, the tension morphed into a dazzling spectacle of magical prowess. Aridorn was swift, initiating the duel with a "Frost Edge" attack that transformed his longsword into a chilling blade of freezing energy.
Skyblitz, ever the master of the wind, reacted with perfect timing. His "Wind Blade" took form, a blade of compressed air that met Aridorn's icy onslaught head-on. The crowd erupted into cheers, the sheer display of magical mastery a feast for their eyes.
The battle raged on, morphing into an intense back-and-forth between the two combatants. Aridorn kept on the offensive, wielding his chilling magic to launch a series of potent attacks. His "Glacial Wall" forced Skyblitz to keep his distance, while his "Frost Spears" kept the Aarakocra on his talons.
Skyblitz was not to be outdone. His mastery over wind magic was a spectacle in itself. His agile movements, augmented by "Gale Dash," allowed him to evade Aridorn's icy attacks with an effortless grace that seemed almost choreographed. His "Tempest Cyclone" countered Aridorn's defenses, the swirling vortex of wind magic breaking through the icy wall Aridorn had erected.
This thrilling exchange of magic and martial prowess continued, each warrior holding his ground. The crowd watched, breathless, as the two powerhouses collided, each new clash raising the stakes.
Eventually, however, Skyblitz decided it was time to end the match. Channeling his wind magic, he executed his final move, an attack he had perfected over years of rigorous training. "Twister Throw!" he bellowed, the powerful shout resonating across the coliseum.
In a swift, fluid motion, Skyblitz seized Aridorn, his powerful wings carrying them high above the arena. The crowd watched in stunned silence as he summoned a powerful tornado around them, his wind magic swirling with an intensity that left everyone breathless.
The force of the wind spun them around, accelerating until Aridorn was a mere blur in the eye of the storm. With a final, powerful shout, Skyblitz threw Aridorn, propelling him with the force of the swirling wind.
Aridorn plummeted to the ground, his descent marked by a tailwind of force. The impact echoed throughout the coliseum, the ground quaking beneath the force. Dust and debris filled the air, obscuring the view as the crowd held its breath.
When the dust finally settled, Aridorn was revealed, unconscious and defeated, cradled in the heart of a massive crater. Skyblitz landed elegantly on the battlefield, his victory secured.
"Victory to Skyblitz of the Brotherhood!" Razzle Fizzlebop's voice echoed around the arena. The crowd erupted into cheers, their exhilaration shaking the coliseum.
Skyblitz, despite his victory, did not celebrate. His expression was serious, his gaze focused. His mind was already on the battles to come. The Grand Arcana Tournament was far from over, and the Brotherhood was ready to face whatever came next.
As the dust from the previous battle cleared, the Brotherhood gathered in a huddle. Their attention was fixated on Redroot, the Goliath, whose presence was as sturdy and intimidating as a fortress of stone.
"Redroot," Askari began, looking up at his towering friend. "We've seen you hold back, always opting to shield rather than strike. This time, let them witness your true power. Be the landslide, not just the mountain."
Skyblitz joined in, a spark of anticipation illuminating his avian eyes. "You've got this, Red. Make the ground tremble beneath your might."
Redroot nodded solemnly, acknowledging the encouraging words of his companions. "The earth shall quake in my honor."
The crowd's excited chatter fell silent as Razzle Fizzlebop made the next announcement. "Step forward, Redroot of the Brotherhood and Snigg of the Revenant Reapers!"
Snigg, a small yet wiry goblin, walked onto the battlefield, an air of dark magic surrounding him. Redroot followed, his imposing figure causing a wave of silence to sweep across the spectators. The air around him rippled with earth magic, projecting an image that was equal parts awe-inspiring and terrifying.
With a mighty roar, Redroot charged at Snigg, his fist colliding with Snigg's in a thunderous impact that sent shockwaves pulsing through the coliseum. It was a clash of raw strength against potent magic, and the crowd watched in awe as the battle unfolded.
Snigg was swift and cunning, employing his dark magic with a surprising finesse. His "Shadow Warp" allowed him to dodge Redroot's massive strikes and retaliate with "Abyssal Shards." However, Redroot was no easy target. His earth magic countered Snigg's attacks, his "Stone Fist" shattering Snigg's dark energy projectiles while his "Earth Shield" offered unyielding defense.
Despite Snigg's agility and cunning, Redroot stood firm, countering with powerful attacks of his own. He used his "Granite Grasp" to trap Snigg, while his "Boulder Bash" sent the goblin sprawling across the battlefield.
The back-and-forth continued, each fighter displaying their unique set of skills to the fullest. Snigg continued to exploit his nimbleness and dark magic, but Redroot remained a formidable opponent, his resolve as unshakeable as the earth he commanded.
As the battle reached a fever pitch, Redroot decided to end the duel. Gathering his earth magic, he channeled it into a final, devastating attack. With a roar that echoed throughout the coliseum, Redroot slammed his fists into the ground, calling out, "Tectonic Rupture!"
The ground beneath them trembled and shook, a wave of stone and earth erupting beneath Snigg. The goblin had no time to react as the force of the attack knocked him off his feet, sending him crashing onto the battlefield.
When the dust finally settled, Snigg lay unconscious, the aftermath of Redroot's attack evident in the crater surrounding him. Razzle Fizzlebop's announcement of Redroot's victory echoed across the coliseum, met with a deafening roar of approval from the crowd.
The Brotherhood cheered for their friend, their voices drowned out by the thunderous applause. Despite his victory, Redroot remained humble, a gentle smile playing on his lips. His victory wasn't for himself; it was for his friends and the bond they shared. For the Brotherhood, this was just the beginning, and they were ready for the challenges that lay ahead.
As the dust from Redroot's battle settled, the Brotherhood gathered once more. This time, their focus was on Joneson, the Paladin oathbreaker, a man whose past was filled with guilt and redemption, and whose power stemmed from the void itself.
His fellow warriors gave him a solid, reassuring clap on the shoulder. "You've got this, Joneson. You're a Paladin, through and through. Oathbreaker or not, you uphold honor and justice like no other," Skyblitz said, his avian eyes flicking with a hint of admiration.
The others nodded in agreement. Redroot’s gravelly voice echoed Skyblitz's sentiment. "You're not just a warrior, Joneson. You’re a protector. That's your strength."
The air filled with anticipation as Razzle Fizzlebop's voice once again echoed across the coliseum. "Ladies and gentlemen, the final bout of this round. Step forward, Joneson of the Brotherhood and Zul'Kur of the Revenant Reapers!"
Zul'Kur was a towering figure, adorned with intricate tribal tattoos glowing with an arcane energy. He was an orc shaman, known for his potent spirit magic. A formidable opponent, one who had won his previous battles with a ruthless and savage efficiency.
Joneson walked onto the battlefield, his aura of void energy cloaking him like a shadow. Despite the cheering crowd, a sense of stillness enveloped him. His expression was calm, his gaze steady, the air around him seeming to warp slightly as his void magic reacted to his focused state of mind.
The fight began with a massive clash of magic, Joneson's void energy colliding with Zul'Kur's spirit magic. The crowd gasped as the arena filled with a blinding light, both fighters' powers creating an awe-inspiring spectacle.
Joneson was adept with his void magic, utilizing "Void Shield" to block Zul'Kur's spirit attacks, retaliating with his own "Shadow Strike." Zul'Kur was equally skilled, his spirit magic taking the form of ancestral warriors through his "Spirit Summon," each one engaging Joneson with ruthless ferocity.
Back and forth they went, each clash more intense than the last. Zul'Kur’s spirit magic was relentless, but Joneson’s void manipulation allowed him to absorb and deflect the attacks with increasing ease.
However, as the battle wore on, Joneson's void energy started to dominate the field. His "Abyssal Chains" attack ensnared Zul'Kur's spirit warriors, dissolving them into nothingness. His "Black Hole Strike" pulled Zul'Kur off balance, allowing Joneson to land a decisive "Void Punch."
Just as it seemed that Joneson was gaining the upper hand, a commotion stirred from the sidelines. The previously defeated members of The Revenant Reapers rushed into the arena, their expressions desperate and wild.
The crowd gasped as Galros, Grimmhilt, Aridorn, and Snigg stood beside Zul'Kur, their powers radiating menacingly. The odds had abruptly shifted. Joneson, though strong, was now standing against the full force of The Revenant Reapers.
The anticipation was thick as the crowd watched in shocked silence. The Brotherhood stood at the sidelines, their expressions a mix of concern and determination. The stage was set for a showdown like no other, the true test of the Brotherhood's unity and strength yet to come.
The Revenant Reapers' aggressive entrance onto the stage was met with mixed reactions from the crowd, the Brotherhood, and most interestingly, from Joneson himself. The Reapers exuded a sinister, dark energy as they joined Zul'Kur in facing Joneson.
In the Brotherhood's corner, Skyblitz was already halfway into his takeoff, his wings ruffling in anticipation, ready to swoop down and help Joneson. Redroot had tightened his grip on his massive boulder hammer, his eyes reflecting a fierce determination.
But, it was Askari who raised his hand, signaling them to halt. His eyes were locked onto the scene unfolding before them, a calm yet intense look etched onto his face.
"This is his fight," Askari's voice cut through the rising tension. The words were met with immediate confusion and even protest.
"But they're outnumbering him, Askari," IraTater argued, his draconic eyes glaring towards the spectacle in the arena.
Askari, however, was resolute. "Joneson has a strength we've not yet seen. He's been holding back, for reasons only he knows," he continued, his gaze never leaving the center of the coliseum.
There was a pause before Askari recounted a tale, one of a Paladin who had broken his oath to protect those he loved. It was a tale of guilt and redemption, of strength and love. The tale of Joneson, their comrade, their brother in arms. The Brotherhood listened in silence, their eyes now understanding the depth of Joneson's power that lay dormant.
Back in the arena, Joneson stood steady, his gaze meeting Askari's. There was a silent communication, a nod of acknowledgement, and an understanding. It was time.
Without breaking his gaze from the Reapers, Joneson muttered an incantation under his breath. As the words left his lips, the air around him started to warp, and a cold chill swept across the coliseum. His eyes began to gleam with an ethereal light as the Oathbreaker's Seal began to break.
"Void Infinity," he whispered. The two words carried a weight, a promise, and a threat. The darkness swallowed the arena, blotting out the light and encasing the battleground in an impenetrable shroud. The Reapers, about to attack, found themselves in a sea of uncertainty.
Out of the engulfing void emerged figures, formless yet formidable, each a living embodiment of void energy. With every word of Joneson's continued incantation, they grew stronger, their presence more intimidating.
The Reapers tried to retaliate, but their attacks were swallowed by the void. The shadowy figures closed in, a relentless storm of dark energy that crushed their resistance and drowned their cries. The sheer force of the onslaught sent shockwaves through the arena, causing the crowd to gasp in awe.
When the darkness finally receded, the scene that emerged was one of utter devastation. The Reapers lay strewn across the battleground, their energies depleted, their pride shattered.
The crowd erupted into cheers, the echo of "Joneson" resonating throughout the arena. As the Brotherhood rushed to join their victorious comrade in the center, their smiles were as wide as they were proud.
With his friends surrounding him, Joneson looked at each one of them, his eyes softening. The void magic around him faded, replaced by a warm aura. This was more than just a victory. It was a testament of their friendship, their trust, and their unyielding brotherhood. They had emerged triumphant, and for the time being, they could bask in their victory.
It was a powerful conclusion to a stunning display of magic and camaraderie. The Grand Arcana Tournament was far from over, but the Brotherhood had made their mark, and they were ready for whatever came next.