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The Ultimate Guide to Winning Big: Uncovering the Most Popular Casino Games

2023.06.07 14:08 Spinsvilla The Ultimate Guide to Winning Big: Uncovering the Most Popular Casino Games

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Welcome to the ultimate guide on winning big at the casino! For many of us, the thrill of gambling and the excitement of hitting the jackpot is an experience like no other. But with so many options available, it can be overwhelming to know which games to play and which to avoid. That’s why we’ve created this comprehensive guide to uncovering the most popular casino games, complete with tips and strategies for increasing your chances of success. From classic table games like blackjack and roulette to the latest digital slot machines, we’ll explore the ins and outs of each game and provide expert insights on how to beat the odds. So whether you’re a seasoned gambler or a beginner looking to hit it big, this guide has everything you need to know to increase your chances of winning at the casino. Let’s get started!

Understanding the odds and payouts

Before we delve into specific games, it’s important to understand the basics of odds and payouts. Every casino game has a built-in house edge, which means that the odds are always slightly in favor of the house. This is how casinos make their money, so it’s important to keep this in mind when playing any game.
One of the most important factors to consider when playing a casino game is the payout percentage. This is the percentage of money that the game will pay back over time. For example, if a game has a payout percentage of 95%, this means that over time, the game will pay back 95 cents for every dollar that is wagered. The higher the payout percentage, the better your chances of winning.
It’s also important to understand the difference between true odds and payout odds. True odds are the actual odds of winning a bet, whereas payout odds are the amount that a casino pays out for a win. The difference between these two numbers is the house edge.

Slot machines - how they work and tips to win

Slot machines are one of the most popular casino games, and for good reason. They’re easy to play, require no skill or strategy, and offer the possibility of hitting a huge jackpot with just one spin. But how do slot machines actually work?
At its most basic level, a slot machine is a random number generator. When you press the button or pull the lever, the machine generates a random number that corresponds to a particular combination of symbols on the reels. If the symbols line up in the correct combination, you win.
There are a few tips and tricks that can help you increase your chances of winning at slot machines. First, it’s important to choose a machine with a high payout percentage. Look for machines that have a payout percentage of 95% or higher. It’s also a good idea to bet the maximum amount on each spin, as this increases your chances of hitting a big jackpot.

Blackjack - rules and strategies

Blackjack is a classic casino game that has been around for centuries. The basic rules are simple – the goal is to have a hand that is closer to 21 than the dealer’s hand, without going over 21. But there are many strategies that can be used to increase your chances of winning.
One of the most important things to keep in mind when playing blackjack is to always assume that the dealer’s face-down card is a 10. This means that if the dealer is showing a 6, for example, you should assume that their face-down card is a 10, giving them a total of 16. This can help you make better decisions about when to hit or stand.
Another important strategy is to always split aces and 8s. This gives you two opportunities to get a hand of 21, and also helps to minimize your losses. It’s also a good idea to stand on a hand of 17 or higher, as the chances of going over 21 are high.

Roulette - types, bets, and tactics

Roulette is a classic casino game that is based purely on luck. The game consists of a spinning wheel with numbered slots, and a ball that is dropped onto the wheel. The goal is to place a bet on where the ball will land.
There are two main types of roulette – American and European. The American version has an extra double zero slot, which increases the house edge. It’s always a better idea to play the European version if it’s available.
There are many different types of bets that can be placed in roulette, including straight bets, split bets, and corner bets. It’s important to understand the odds of each type of bet before placing your chips.

Baccarat - gameplay and winning tips

Baccarat is a popular casino game that is often associated with high rollers and VIPs. The game is simple – the goal is to have a hand that is closest to 9. But there are many different strategies that can be used to increase your chances of winning.
One of the most important things to keep in mind when playing baccarat is to always bet on the banker. The banker bet has a lower house edge than the player bet, which means that you’re more likely to win.
Another important strategy is to keep track of the shoe. Baccarat uses a shoe of cards that is shuffled before each hand. By keeping track of which cards have been dealt, you can make better decisions about when to place your bets.

Poker - variations and skills required

Poker is a game of skill that requires strategy, patience, and a bit of luck. There are many different variations of poker, including Texas Hold’em, Omaha, and Seven Card Stud.
One of the most important skills in poker is the ability to read your opponents. This means paying attention to their body language, betting patterns, and facial expressions to determine what kind of hand they have.
Another important strategy is to know when to fold. Many players make the mistake of holding onto a bad hand for too long, hoping that they’ll get lucky on the next card. But in the long run, this is a losing strategy.

Craps - how to play and win

Craps is a fast-paced casino game that is popular among both beginners and experienced players. The game consists of a pair of dice and a table with various betting options.
One of the most important things to keep in mind when playing craps is to always bet on the pass line. This gives you the best odds of winning, as the house edge is only 1.41%.
Another important strategy is to take advantage of the free odds bet. This is a bet that can be placed after the point has been established, and has no house edge.

Other popular casino games - keno, bingo, and more

In addition to the classic casino games, there are many other popular games that can be found at casinos around the world. These include games like keno, bingo, and scratch cards.
Keno is a lottery-style game that is similar to bingo. The game consists of a board with numbers from 1 to 80, and players must choose up to 10 numbers. A random number generator then selects the winning numbers.
Bingo is another popular game that is based on luck. The game consists of a board with numbers, and players must mark off the numbers as they are called out.

Beginner's guide to casino etiquette

When playing at a casino, it’s important to follow certain rules of etiquette to ensure that everyone has an enjoyable experience. This includes things like not touching other players’ chips, not smoking at the table, and not using your cellphone while playing.
It’s also important to be respectful to the dealers and other players. Remember that everyone is there to have fun, and it’s important to be courteous and friendly.

Online casino games vs. land-based casino games

With the rise of online casinos, many players are now choosing to play their favorite games from the comfort of their own homes. But how do online casino games compare to land-based casino games?
One of the biggest differences is the atmosphere. Land-based casinos offer a unique and exciting experience that can’t be replicated online. But online casinos are convenient and offer a wider variety of games.
It’s also important to consider the safety and security of online casinos. Make sure to choose a reputable online casino that is licensed and regulated.

Responsible gambling practices

Gambling can be a fun and exciting activity, but it’s important to gamble responsibly. This means setting a budget and sticking to it, never borrowing money to gamble, and never chasing your losses.
It’s also important to know when to take a break. If you feel like you’re losing control, it’s important to step away from the game and seek help if necessary.

Conclusion

We hope that this guide has been helpful in uncovering the most popular casino games and providing tips and strategies to increase your chances of winning. Remember to always gamble responsibly, and have fun!
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2023.06.07 14:04 oleojang How to Buy Fashion Items for Women at Affordable Rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng

Meta Description: Discover how to buy fashion items for women at affordable rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng. This comprehensive guide walks you through the process, from creating an account to placing your order. Find trendy and budget-friendly clothing, shoes, accessories, and more. Explore the FAQs for common concerns. Start shopping on ileoja.ng and elevate your style without breaking the bank.
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Contents
Introduction. 1
How to Buy Fashion Items for Women at Affordable Rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng. 2
1. Visit ileoja.ng. 2
2. Create an Account. 2
3. Explore the Product Categories. 2
4. Refine Your Search. 3
5. Check Product Details. 3
6. Add to Cart. 3
7. Proceed to Checkout. 4
8. Enter Shipping Details. 4
9. Choose a Payment Method. 4
10. Place Your Order. 5
Why Sell Fashion Items for Women on ileoja.ng?. 5
Wide Customer Reach. 5
Targeted Audience. 6
User-Friendly Interface. 6
Marketing and Promotional Support. 7
Secure and Trusted Platform.. 7
Seller Support and Assistance. 7
Competitive Fees and Commissions. 8
Seamless Order Fulfillment. 8
Factors to Consider When Selling Fashion Items for Women. 9
Target Market Analysis. 9
Trend Research. 10
Quality and Durability. 10
Pricing Strategy. 10
Branding and Differentiation. 11
Online Presence and Marketing. 11
Customer Experience and Service. 12
Inventory Management. 12
Feedback and Adaptation. 13
When is the Best Time to Sell Fashion Items for Women on ileoja.ng?. 13
Seasonal Trends. 13
Festive and Holiday Seasons. 14
Fashion Weeks and Events. 15
Back-to-School and College Season. 15
Special Occasions and Weddings. 15
Sales and Clearance Events. 16
Customer Behavior and Analytics. 16
Frequest Asked Questions (FAQs) on How to Buy Fashion Items for Women at Affordable Rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng. 17
Conclusion. 19

Introduction

Fashion is an integral part of our lives, allowing us to express our individuality and showcase our personal style. However, finding affordable fashion items for women in Nigeria can sometimes be a daunting task. That's where ileoja.ng comes in. In this article, we will explore how to buy fashion items for women at affordable rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng, a leading online marketplace that offers a wide range of trendy and budget-friendly options. Whether you're looking for stylish clothing, accessories, or footwear, ileoja.ng has got you covered.

How to Buy Fashion Items for Women at Affordable Rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng

ileoja.ng provides a user-friendly platform that allows you to browse through an extensive collection of fashion items and make your purchases with ease. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to buy fashion items for women at affordable rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng:

1. Visit ileoja.ng

The first step is to visit the official website of ileoja.ng. Simply open your preferred web browser and type in "ileoja.ng" in the address bar. Press Enter, and you will be directed to the homepage of the website.

2. Create an Account

To enjoy a seamless shopping experience on ileoja.ng, you need to create an account. Look for the "Register" button on the homepage and click on it. Fill in the required details, such as your name, email address, and password. Once you've completed the registration process, you'll have your own personal account on ileoja.ng.

3. Explore the Product Categories

Now that you have an account, it's time to start exploring the wide range of fashion items available on ileoja.ng. The website offers various product categories, including clothing, shoes, bags, accessories, and more. Click on the desired category to browse through the available options.

4. Refine Your Search

To find the perfect fashion item at an affordable rate, you can use the search filters provided by ileoja.ng. Narrow down your search based on factors such as price range, brand, size, color, and style. This will help you find the best options that match your preferences and budget.

5. Check Product Details

Before making a purchase, it's essential to carefully review the product details. Click on the item you're interested in to access its dedicated page. Here, you will find information about the product's materials, sizing, availability, and customer reviews. Take the time to read through this information to make an informed decision.

6. Add to Cart

Once you've found a fashion item that meets your requirements, click on the "Add to Cart" button. This will add the item to your virtual shopping cart, allowing you to continue browsing for more products or proceed to the checkout process.

7. Proceed to Checkout

When you're ready to complete your purchase, click on the shopping cart icon at the top of the website. Review the items in your cart and ensure that everything is correct. You can also apply any applicable discount codes or vouchers at this stage. Then, click on the "Checkout" button to proceed.

8. Enter Shipping Details

During the checkout process, you'll be prompted to enter your shipping details. Provide accurate information, including your name, address, phone number, and any other required details. Double-check the information to avoid any shipping mishaps.

9. Choose a Payment Method

ileoja.ng offers various secure payment options to choose from. Select your preferred payment method, such as debit card, credit card, or bank transfer. Follow the on-screen instructions to complete the payment process securely.

10. Place Your Order

After successfully completing the payment, review your order summary one last time. If everything looks good, click on the "Place Order" button to finalize your purchase. You will receive a confirmation email with the details of your order.
Congratulations! You have successfully purchased a fashion item for women at an affordable rate in Nigeria on ileoja.ng. Now, all that's left to do is sit back, relax, and wait for your stylish new purchase to arrive at your doorstep.
You checkout other post on how to buy fashion items for men in Nigeria on ileoja.ng
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Why Sell Fashion Items for Women on ileoja.ng?

In today's digital age, online marketplaces have revolutionized the way we buy and sell products. One such platform that has gained significant popularity is ileoja.ng. With its wide range of fashion items for women, ileoja.ng offers a lucrative opportunity for sellers to showcase their products to a vast customer base. In this article, we will explore the reasons why selling fashion items for women on ileoja.ng can be a rewarding venture for aspiring entrepreneurs and established businesses alike.

Wide Customer Reach

One of the primary advantages of selling fashion items on ileoja.ng is the platform's extensive customer reach. With a large user base and a growing number of visitors each day, ileoja.ng provides sellers with the opportunity to showcase their products to a wide audience. This increased visibility can significantly boost the chances of making sales and expanding your customer base.

Targeted Audience

When it comes to selling fashion items for women, it is crucial to reach the right audience. ileoja.ng caters specifically to individuals looking for trendy and affordable fashion options. By listing your products on this platform, you can target customers who are already interested in purchasing fashion items. This increases the likelihood of attracting potential buyers who are actively seeking the products you offer.

User-Friendly Interface

One of the key factors that contribute to the success of any online marketplace is its user-friendliness. ileoja.ng is designed to provide a seamless shopping experience for both buyers and sellers. The platform offers intuitive navigation, easy product listing tools, and efficient order management systems. Even if you are new to online selling, you can quickly adapt to the platform's interface and start listing your fashion items without any hassle.

Marketing and Promotional Support

Selling fashion items on ileoja.ng comes with the added advantage of marketing and promotional support. The platform invests in advertising campaigns and promotional activities to attract more customers. By listing your products on ileoja.ng, you can leverage the marketing efforts undertaken by the platform, thereby increasing your product visibility and sales potential. This saves you the time and resources required to market your products independently.

Secure and Trusted Platform

Trust and security are vital factors when it comes to online transactions. ileoja.ng prioritizes the safety and security of its users. The platform incorporates robust security measures to protect customer and seller information, ensuring a safe and trustworthy environment for conducting business. This sense of security helps build trust among buyers, leading to higher customer confidence and increased sales for sellers.

Seller Support and Assistance

As a seller on ileoja.ng, you can benefit from the platform's seller support and assistance. The dedicated support team is available to address any queries or concerns you may have throughout your selling journey. Whether you need help with product listings, order management, or resolving customer issues, the support team is just a message or call away. This level of assistance can be invaluable, particularly for sellers who are new to online selling.

Competitive Fees and Commissions

Selling fashion items on ileoja.ng is also financially rewarding. The platform offers competitive fees and commissions, allowing you to maximize your profits. With transparent pricing structures and reasonable commission rates, you can ensure that your hard-earned revenue remains intact while taking advantage of the platform's extensive customer base and marketing efforts.

Seamless Order Fulfillment

Efficient order fulfillment is crucial for customer satisfaction and repeat business. ileoja.ng streamlines the order fulfillment process, making it easier for sellers to manage their inventory and promptly ship products to customers. The platform provides clear guidelines and tools for tracking orders, generating shipping labels, and managing returns or exchanges. This streamlined process minimizes potential errors and ensures a smooth customer experience.

Factors to Consider When Selling Fashion Items for Women

Selling fashion items for women can be a profitable and rewarding venture. However, the fashion industry is highly competitive, and it's essential to consider various factors to ensure the success of your business. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur or an established seller, this article will explore the key factors to consider when selling fashion items for women. By understanding and implementing these factors, you can effectively navigate the market and maximize your chances of success.

Target Market Analysis

Before diving into selling fashion items for women, it's crucial to conduct a thorough analysis of your target market. Understand the preferences, needs, and purchasing behaviors of your potential customers. Consider factors such as age group, style preferences, price range, and geographical location. This analysis will help you tailor your product offerings to meet the specific demands of your target market, ensuring higher customer satisfaction and increased sales.

Trend Research

The fashion industry is ever-evolving, with new trends emerging regularly. Staying up-to-date with the latest fashion trends is essential when selling fashion items for women. Conduct thorough trend research to identify popular styles, colors, patterns, and materials. This knowledge will guide your product selection and help you offer trendy and in-demand fashion items to your customers. Stay connected with fashion publications, influencers, and industry events to stay ahead of the curve.

Quality and Durability

In the competitive fashion market, quality and durability are key factors that can set your products apart. Invest in sourcing high-quality materials and work with reliable manufacturers and suppliers. Ensure that your fashion items are well-crafted, durable, and capable of withstanding regular wear and tear. Delivering quality products will earn you a reputation for excellence and encourage repeat purchases and positive word-of-mouth referrals.

Pricing Strategy

Setting the right price for your fashion items is crucial for sales success. Consider factors such as production costs, market demand, competition, and perceived value when determining your pricing strategy. Striking a balance between affordability and profitability is essential. Conduct market research to understand the price range for similar fashion items in the market. Offer competitive prices that appeal to your target market while ensuring your business remains profitable.

Branding and Differentiation

In a crowded marketplace, effective branding and differentiation are essential for standing out from the competition. Develop a strong brand identity that resonates with your target market. Craft a unique selling proposition (USP) that highlights the distinctive features of your fashion items. Whether it's the use of sustainable materials, innovative designs, or a specific niche focus, find ways to differentiate your brand and create a memorable impression on your customers.

Online Presence and Marketing

In today's digital age, having a strong online presence is crucial for the success of your fashion business. Create a visually appealing and user-friendly website or online store to showcase your fashion items. Utilize social media platforms to engage with your audience, share product updates, and create a community around your brand. Implement effective digital marketing strategies such as search engine optimization (SEO), content marketing, influencer collaborations, and targeted online advertisements to increase brand visibility and attract customers.

Customer Experience and Service

Providing an exceptional customer experience is vital for customer satisfaction and brand loyalty. Ensure that your customers have a seamless shopping experience, from browsing your fashion items to making a purchase and receiving their orders. Offer multiple communication channels for customer inquiries and support. Provide detailed product descriptions, accurate sizing charts, and high-quality product images. Promptly address customer concerns and provide efficient after-sales service, including hassle-free returns and exchanges.

Inventory Management

Efficient inventory management is crucial for maintaining a steady supply of fashion items and avoiding stockouts or excess inventory. Implement inventory management systems that allow you to track product quantities, monitor sales trends, and make informed purchasing decisions. Regularly analyze your inventory data to identify popular products, slow-moving items, and seasonal trends. This data-driven approach will help you optimize your inventory and ensure a healthy balance between supply and demand.

Feedback and Adaptation

Listening to customer feedback and adapting your strategies accordingly is a key factor in the long-term success of your fashion business. Encourage customers to provide reviews and ratings for your fashion items. Pay attention to both positive and negative feedback, as they offer valuable insights into customer preferences and areas for improvement. Use this feedback to refine your product offerings, enhance your customer experience, and adapt your marketing strategies.
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When is the Best Time to Sell Fashion Items for Women on ileoja.ng?

Timing plays a crucial role in the success of any business, and selling fashion items for women on ileoja.ng is no exception. While the online marketplace offers opportunities throughout the year, there are specific periods when sales tend to soar. In this article, we will explore the best times to sell fashion items for women on ileoja.ng. By understanding these optimal periods, you can strategically plan your inventory, marketing campaigns, and promotions to maximize your sales potential.

Seasonal Trends

One of the key factors to consider when determining the best time to sell fashion items for women is the seasonal trends. Fashion preferences and needs change with each season, and aligning your product offerings with these trends can significantly impact your sales. For example, during the spring and summer months, customers are likely to be looking for lightweight dresses, sandals, and vibrant accessories. In contrast, fall and winter call for cozy sweaters, boots, and cold-weather essentials. By adjusting your inventory and marketing strategies to match the seasonal demands, you can attract more customers and generate higher sales.

Festive and Holiday Seasons

Festive and holiday seasons are known to be prime selling periods for fashion items. Events such as Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, and other cultural and religious celebrations create a surge in consumer spending. During these times, people are more inclined to purchase new outfits, accessories, and gifts. Capitalize on these festive seasons by offering special promotions, discounts, and themed collections. Plan your inventory and marketing campaigns well in advance to ensure you have a diverse range of fashion items that cater to the specific needs and desires of customers during these celebratory periods.

Fashion Weeks and Events

Fashion weeks and events are significant milestones in the fashion industry, attracting attention from fashion enthusiasts, influencers, and media outlets. These events showcase the latest collections and set trends for the upcoming seasons. As a seller on ileoja.ng, it is advantageous to align your product releases and promotions with these fashion weeks and events. Capitalize on the buzz and excitement generated during these times to increase brand visibility and attract customers who are eager to stay on-trend.

Back-to-School and College Season

Another opportune time to sell fashion items for women on ileoja.ng is during the back-to-school and college season. As students prepare to start a new academic year, they often seek new clothing and accessories to make a stylish impression. This period presents a great opportunity to target young customers who are looking for trendy and affordable fashion items. Offer special promotions, discounts, and student-friendly collections to attract this demographic and increase your sales.

Special Occasions and Weddings

Special occasions such as weddings, parties, and formal events create a demand for elegant and sophisticated fashion items. These events often require attendees to dress up and make a fashion statement. As a seller on ileoja.ng, you can leverage this demand by curating a collection specifically tailored to special occasions. Offer a wide range of formal dresses, evening gowns, accessories, and shoes that cater to various tastes and budgets. Promote your special occasion collection ahead of the event season to capture the attention of customers planning their outfits in advance.

Sales and Clearance Events

While it's essential to focus on peak selling periods, it's equally important to capitalize on sales and clearance events throughout the year. ileoja.ng and other online marketplaces often host sales events such as Black Friday, Cyber Monday, end-of-season sales, and flash sales. These events create a sense of urgency and excitement among customers, driving them to make impulse purchases. Participating in these events by offering discounts and special deals can help you attract bargain-seeking customers and clear out excess inventory.

Customer Behavior and Analytics

To determine the best time to sell fashion items for women on ileoja.ng, it's essential to analyze customer behavior and data. Utilize analytics tools to track customer engagement, website traffic, and sales patterns. Identify trends in customer browsing and purchasing behavior to understand when your target audience is most active. Use this data to schedule promotions, product releases, and marketing campaigns during the times when customer engagement and conversions are highest.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) on How to Buy Fashion Items for Women at Affordable Rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng

Here are some frequently asked questions about buying fashion items for women at affordable rates in Nigeria on ileoja.ng:
  1. Is ileoja.ng a reliable platform for buying fashion items?
Absolutely! ileoja.ng is a trusted and reliable online marketplace that prioritizes customer satisfaction. They have a reputation for offering high-quality fashion items at affordable rates, making them a go-to destination for fashion enthusiasts in Nigeria.
  1. Can I return or exchange a fashion item purchased from ileoja.ng?
Yes, ileoja.ng has a return and exchange policy in place. If you're not satisfied with your purchase or need a different size or color, you can initiate a return or exchange request within the specified timeframe. Make sure to carefully read the terms and conditions of the policy for a hassle-free experience.
  1. Are there any discounts or promotional offers available on ileoja.ng?
ileoja.ng frequently runs special promotions, discounts, and sales events. Keep an eye on their website or subscribe to their newsletter to stay updated with the latest deals. This way, you can grab your favorite fashion items at even more affordable rates.
  1. Can I track the status of my order on ileoja.ng?
Yes, you can easily track the status of your order on ileoja.ng. Once your order has been shipped, you will receive a tracking number that you can use to monitor the progress of your delivery. Simply enter the tracking number on the courier's website for real-time updates.
  1. How long does it take for the fashion items to be delivered?
The delivery time depends on various factors, such as your location, the shipping method chosen, and the availability of the product. Typically, ileoja.ng strives to deliver fashion items within a reasonable timeframe. However, unforeseen circumstances or external factors may sometimes cause slight delays.
  1. Can I contact customer support if I have any questions or concerns?
Absolutely! ileoja.ng has a dedicated customer support team that is available to assist you with any queries or concerns you may have. You can reach out to them through their website or contact them directly via email or phone. They are committed to providing excellent customer service and ensuring a positive shopping experience for all their customers.

Conclusion

Buying fashion items for women at affordable rates in Nigeria has never been easier, thanks to ileoja.ng. With its extensive collection of trendy and budget-friendly options, you can find the perfect fashion pieces to enhance your wardrobe. By following the step-by-step guide outlined in this article, you can navigate the ileoja.ng platform with confidence and make your purchases hassle-free. Start exploring the vast array of fashion items available on ileoja.ng today and elevate your style without breaking the bank!
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2023.06.07 13:44 jacobscott854 6 TIPS FOR ACCOUNTING FIRMS TO ATTRACT & RETAIN TALENT

In recent years, businesses such as accounting and CPA firms (https://www.entigrity.com/) that are heavily reliant on skilled professionals have faced significant challenges in attracting and retaining talent. The consequences of talent shortages are straightforward but impactful: they impede business growth. According to PwC, approximately 25% of CEOs have had to cancel or postpone critical strategic initiatives in the past year due to a lack of qualified personnel.
Fortunately, there is time to address this issue proactively. Let's explore a few strategies firm owners can employ to navigate the skills shortage and benefit their businesses and financial performance.
**An overview of the worldwide shortage of accounting talent:**
There is a notable global talent shortage, which has reached its highest level in 16 years across various industries. The ongoing phenomenon known as the "Great Resignation (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Resignation)" shows no signs of slowing down.
The ManpowerGroup's (https://workforce-resources.manpowergroup.com/accelerate-your-talent-strategy/q3-2022-employment-outlook-survey) 2022 Global Talent Shortage Survey has identified the most challenging skills to find in today's job market, and it reveals that accounting and finance positions (such as certified accountants, auditors, and financial analysts) rank among the top seven most challenging roles to fill globally. Moreover, these roles are anticipated to be the second-most in-demand positions in over 40 countries in the upcoming quarters.
**The origins of this talent shortage can be attributed to two primary factors**
The two primary drivers affecting the talent shortage in the accounting industry are: **technological advancements** and **evolving needs**.
**1. Technological Advancements:**
In the past, the primary requirement for accounting firms was the ability to perform numerical calculations. However, with technological advancements, this requirement has evolved. Today, applications and automation can process numbers significantly faster than any human worker.
Consequently, accounting firms are now seeking candidates who possess a greater ability to derive meaning, identify trends, and detect patterns in data. Moreover, these candidates should be able to apply their findings within a broader business context.
This shift in demand highlights the increasing importance of data science and analytics skills, which accounting professionals may have yet to develop extensively due to limited time and resources.
**2. Evolving Needs:**
In today's job market, candidates have clear preferences regarding their desired positions. While competitive compensation and benefits are undoubtedly important factors, the findings of the Manpower (https://web.manpowergroup.ca/hubfs/Campaign%20or%20Program-Specific%20Assets/MPG%20-%20Talent%20Shortage/manpowergroup-2020-canada-talent-shortage-report.pdf?hsLang=en-ca)survey indicate that candidates are more likely to accept a job offer and remain committed if the role also provides flexibility, a sense of purpose, and personalized opportunities.
Additionally, candidates value access to career insights, educational support, diverse experiences, and exposure to new opportunities as significant considerations in their decision-making process.
Indeed, it is possible to address the talent shortage by understanding employee needs and effectively meeting them. By doing so, accounting firms can combat the loss of valuable talent and gain an advantage in the ongoing competition for skilled professionals. While finding a balance may require compromises, the long-term benefits are rewarding.
**1. Objective:**
To provide employees with a meaningful sense of purpose, being transparent and genuine about your organization's mission is essential. Clearly communicate this mission on your website, through marketing materials, and during candidate interviews.
**2. Upskilling/Training:**
According to the Manpower (https://workforce-resources.manpowergroup.com/accelerate-your-talent-strategy/q3-2022-employment-outlook-survey)survey, *“81% of employees expect training programs from their employers to help keep skills up to date”*. Meeting this expectation increases the likelihood of retaining employees in the long term, providing your firm with greater confidence in retaining the skills it has invested in through training and development.
**3. Adaptability:**
In 2020, a significant shift towards remote work took place, leading professionals to recognize the time saved from commuting and the increased autonomy over their schedules. Candidates are expected to inquire about job flexibility during interviews, seeking a clear response that can ideally meet the needs of both parties involved. Therefore, it is crucial to have a well-prepared response that can address these inquiries and satisfy the mutual requirements.
**4. Company ethos:**
Take a moment to contemplate how outsiders perceive your firm. If you were to assess it objectively, what would your conclusion be? The stereotype of buttoned-up professionals often characterizes how accounting firms are viewed.
While elements of formality may still exist in many firms, the importance of image must be considered in a highly competitive market. It is crucial to tailor your firm's image and proudly display your brand, effectively conveying the authentic experience of working within your organization. This approach allows you to differentiate yourself and attract top talent.
Employees are no longer just working for a 9-5 paycheck. They want to work with a brand that they believe in. Understanding how to make the most of your brand can make the difference when it comes to attracting and retaining team members.
**5. Feedback:**
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submitted by jacobscott854 to OutsourcingforCPA [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 13:11 WildernessTech physical symptoms only, no trigger, but on a schedule?

I'm working on getting this sorted with medical help, but any advice (even random thoughts, I'll chase down whatever research I need to confirm or deny) is appreciated. I get physical symptoms only, although it's worth noting that I've spent a lot of my adult life training in high-stress situations, so we are talking adrenaline dump feelings, but no increase in heart rate, but guts go bad, body clenches, generally on edged-ness, at worst some change in recall (names or details can get difficult) or speech when it gets really bad (I have the words, but my brain decides that everything else is more important than speaking) No "mental" symptoms or triggers, and the pattern is about 12 hours of intermittent "attacks" every three weeks or so, almost to the day. In general, it's just an inconvenience (again, I've trained in this realm a lot, so I have a lot of really well-developed coping skills that happen to apply). Every symptom I get is pretty typical for your "way out of comfort zone" or "first ride at the carnival in years", not full "fight/flight/freeze" level, but I know that everyone's scale is different (I did spend the better part of a decade training people in dealing with this sort of thing) I'm just out of my depth when it comes to having no outside stimulus at all (and I'm absolutely serious, sometimes the 12 hour cycle will start a couple hours before I wake up in the morning, sometimes it starts in the middle of the day, and I have to fall asleep to the tail end). It's weird, maybe I'm just an odd little duckling, but if anyone has any ideas I'm all ears. I don't want to color the pool with any of my other medical info, so let's leave it at "comfortable with chronic illness" (although I'm pretty open on other subs, so if you really want to know, it won't be hard to figure out) It's a shot in the dark. I'm sorry I don't have a lot to add back to this sub, apart from saying that there is no shame in the struggle. I know myself enough to know that my ability to help is limited to where I am and what I can be a part of, unlike some of the other subs. So with that said, thanks in advance for any ideas at all.
submitted by WildernessTech to PanicAttack [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 11:50 johntheh4cker Trying to build docker image using jenkins getting strange error, please help me.

Pipelines are failing and in logs it is showing no such method found, i am pasting the logs below. Please help me-
Started by user Zen Admin > git rev-parse --resolve-git-dir /valib/jenkins/caches/git-4a497cbeca7fbace311ce2fe6be29d0e/.git # timeout=10 Setting origin to https://gitlab.com/org/no-framework.git > git config remote.origin.url https://gitlab.com/org/no-framework.git # timeout=10 Fetching origin... Fetching upstream changes from origin > git --version # timeout=10 > git --version # 'git version 2.34.1' > git config --get remote.origin.url # timeout=10 using GIT_ASKPASS to set credentials gitlab-credentials > git fetch --tags --force --progress -- origin +refs/heads/*:refs/remotes/origin/* # timeout=10 Seen branch in repository origin/AddField/AttachEmail Seen branch in repository origin/Feature/Postman_collection Seen branch in repository origin/add-client_name-and-customer_name Seen branch in repository origin/add-customer_name-client_name Seen branch in repository origin/adding_qa_image_promotion_stage Seen branch in repository origin/aws_from_dev_config Seen branch in repository origin/aws_from_master Seen branch in repository origin/ayush_sphinxDocumentation Seen branch in repository origin/char-limit Seen branch in repository origin/cicd_rules Seen branch in repository origin/correct-loggers-notifications Seen branch in repository origin/defectdojo_jobs Seen branch in repository origin/dev-env-testing Seen branch in repository origin/dev-sc-POC Seen branch in repository origin/dev_config Seen branch in repository origin/dockerfile-non-root-user Seen branch in repository origin/email-char-limit-problem-notifications Seen branch in repository origin/emailID-limit-change-migration-test Seen branch in repository origin/endpoint_update Seen branch in repository origin/final-sms-daily-reporting Seen branch in repository origin/final-sms-daily-reporting-with-dev-config Seen branch in repository origin/fix-build-image Seen branch in repository origin/fix-migration-tracking Seen branch in repository origin/fix-notification-upgrade Seen branch in repository origin/fix-security-notifications Seen branch in repository origin/fix-ses-email-exception Seen branch in repository origin/fix-sonarqube-defectdojo-notitifications Seen branch in repository origin/fix-whitenoise Seen branch in repository origin/helm-fix Seen branch in repository origin/helm_security Seen branch in repository origin/integrate-swagger Seen branch in repository origin/integrate-vodafone-api Seen branch in repository origin/international_isd_code_support Seen branch in repository origin/local_test Seen branch in repository origin/logger-error-fix Seen branch in repository origin/logger-handle-bounce Seen branch in repository origin/master Seen branch in repository origin/new_pg_chart_15.1 Seen branch in repository origin/non_root_poc Seen branch in repository origin/notification-dev Seen branch in repository origin/notification_qa Seen branch in repository origin/pg_test_15 Seen branch in repository origin/python-django-upgrade Seen branch in repository origin/remove-extra-added-loggers Seen branch in repository origin/remove-extra-loggers Seen branch in repository origin/remove-international_isd_code_support Seen branch in repository origin/rishi_logging_duplicate_messageContent Seen branch in repository origin/s3_secret_update Seen branch in repository origin/sms-daily-reporting-satyam Seen branch in repository origin/sms-reporting-enhancement Seen branch in repository origin/sms_daily_reporting Seen branch in repository origin/sms_daily_reporting-with-dev-config Seen branch in repository origin/sonarqube-changes Seen branch in repository origin/subchart_integration Seen branch in repository origin/subchart_update Seen branch in repository origin/test Seen branch in repository origin/test-image-local Seen branch in repository origin/test-migration Seen branch in repository origin/turn-off-mail-admins Seen branch in repository origin/upgrade-postgres Seen branch in repository origin/vault_v2 Seen 61 remote branches Obtained Jenkinsfile.Build from efd6ca96c51d2bbebf5f523c28d0f9eb0e4f4b01 Loading library [email protected] Attempting to resolve testsonaar from remote references... > git --version # timeout=10 > git --version # 'git version 2.34.1' using GIT_ASKPASS to set credentials gitlab-credentials > git ls-remote -h -- https://gitlab.com/org/common-library.git # timeout=10 Found match: refs/heads/testsonaar revision bc3f74b58072bd6f208c2b55aad11e59bd17f957 The recommended git tool is: NONE using credential gitlab-credentials > git rev-parse --resolve-git-dir /valib/jenkins/workspace/[email protected]/19e1f074e72b9c95c7402648f84f95c2705487f5be8df1aa9345c2affee7bf38/.git # timeout=10 Fetching changes from the remote Git repository > git config remote.origin.url https://gitlab.com/org/common-library.git # timeout=10 Fetching without tags Fetching upstream changes from https://gitlab.com/org/common-library.git > git --version # timeout=10 > git --version # 'git version 2.34.1' using GIT_ASKPASS to set credentials gitlab-credentials > git fetch --no-tags --force --progress -- https://gitlab.zenatix.com/devops/common-library.git +refs/heads/*:refs/remotes/origin/* # timeout=10 Checking out Revision bc3f74b58072bd6f208c2b55aad11e59bd17f957 (testsonaar) > git config core.sparsecheckout # timeout=10 > git checkout -f bc3f74b58072bd6f208c2b55aad11e59bd17f957 # timeout=10 Commit message: "commented sonarqube" > git rev-list --no-walk bc3f74b58072bd6f208c2b55aad11e59bd17f957 # timeout=10 [Pipeline] Start of Pipeline [Pipeline] node Running on Jenkins in /valib/jenkins/workspace/ramework_01_-_Build-Image_master [Pipeline] { [Pipeline] checkout The recommended git tool is: git using credential gitlab-credentials > git rev-parse --resolve-git-dir /valib/jenkins/workspace/ramework_01_-_Build-Image_maste.git # timeout=10 Fetching changes from the remote Git repository > git config remote.origin.url https://gitlab.com/org/no-framework.git # timeout=10 Fetching without tags Fetching upstream changes from https://gitlab.com/org/no-framework.git > git --version # timeout=10 > git --version # 'git version 2.34.1' using GIT_ASKPASS to set credentials gitlab-credentials > git fetch --no-tags --force --progress -- https://gitlab.com/org/no-framework.git +refs/heads/*:refs/remotes/origin/* # timeout=10 Checking out Revision efd6ca96c51d2bbebf5f523c28d0f9eb0e4f4b01 (master) > git config core.sparsecheckout # timeout=10 > git checkout -f efd6ca96c51d2bbebf5f523c28d0f9eb0e4f4b01 # timeout=10 Commit message: "Merge branch 'adding_qa_image_promotion_stage' into 'master'" > git rev-list --no-walk efd6ca96c51d2bbebf5f523c28d0f9eb0e4f4b01 # timeout=10 [Pipeline] stage [Pipeline] { (Executing pylint on python scripts) [Pipeline] libraryResource [Pipeline] writeFile [Pipeline] libraryResource [Pipeline] writeFile [Pipeline] sh + chmod +x pylint.sh + ./pylint.sh + execute_pylint ++ find . -type f -name '*.py' + python_files='./notification_app/models.py ./notification_app/tests.py ./notification_app/migrations/0002_auto_20210819_0612.py ./notification_app/migrations/0007_auto_20230117_0756.py ./notification_app/migrations/0005_auto_20221107_0659.py ./notification_app/migrations/__init__.py ./notification_app/migrations/0003_auto_20210819_0636.py ./notification_app/migrations/0004_auto_20220309_1344.py ./notification_app/migrations/0006_auto_20221209_0859.py ./notification_app/migrations/0001_initial.py ./notification_app/email_utilities.py ./notification_app/apps.py ./notification_app/email_views.py ./notification_app/admin.py ./notification_app/serializers.py ./notification_app/__init__.py ./notification_app/views.py ./notification_app/utils.py ./notification_app/urls.py ./notification_app/management/__init__.py ./notification_app/management/commands/zenmigrate.py ./notification_app/management/commands/sync_customer_am_emails.py ./notification_app/management/commands/__init__.py ./notification_app/management/commands/daily_sms_reporting.py ./Dockeanalytics/jupyter_notebook_config.py ./Docke__init__.py ./notifications/wsgi.py ./notifications/settings.py ./notifications/asgi.py ./notifications/__init__.py ./notifications/urls.py ./manage.py ./docs/source/conf.py' + for file in $python_files + true + pylint --rcfile=./pylintrc ./notification_app/models.py + true [Pipeline] } [Pipeline] // stage [Pipeline] } [Pipeline] // node [Pipeline] End of Pipeline Also: org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.actions.ErrorAction$ErrorId: 23031cc0-2923-4598-b1ad-e5b49d42a449 java.lang.NoSuchMethodError: No such DSL method 'pyLint' found among steps [acceptGitLabMR, addGitLabMRComment, ansiColor, ansiblePlaybook, ansibleVault, archive, bat, build, catchError, checkout, compareVersions, container, containerLog, deleteDir, dir, dockerFingerprintFrom, dockerFingerprintRun, dockerNode, echo, emailext, emailextrecipients, envVarsForTool, error, fileExists, findBuildScans, findFiles, getContext, git, gitlabBuilds, gitlabCommitStatus, input, isUnix, jiraComment, jiraIssueSelector, jiraSearch, junit, library, libraryResource, load, lock, mail, milestone, node, nodesByLabel, parallel, podTemplate, powershell, prependToFile, properties, publishChecks, pwd, pwsh, readCSV, readFile, readJSON, readManifest, readMavenPom, readProperties, readTrusted, readYaml, resolveScm, retry, script, sh, sha1, sha256, slackSend, slackUploadFile, slackUserIdFromEmail, slackUserIdsFromCommitters, sleep, sshagent, stage, stash, step, tar, tee, timeout, timestamps, tm, tool, touch, unarchive, unstable, unstash, untar, unzip, updateGitlabCommitStatus, validateDeclarativePipeline, verifySha1, verifySha256, waitForBuild, waitForQualityGate, waitUntil, warnError, withChecks, withContext, withCredentials, withDockerContainer, withDockerRegistry, withDockerServer, withEnv, withGradle, withGroovy, withMaven, withNPM, wrap, writeCSV, writeFile, writeJSON, writeMavenPom, writeYaml, ws, zip] or symbols [GitUsernamePassword, agent, all, allBranchesSame, allOf, always, ansible, ant, antFromApache, antOutcome, antTarget, any, anyOf, apiToken, apiTokenProperty, aquaMicroscanner, architecture, archiveArtifacts, artifactManager, artifactsPublisher, assembla, attach, authorInChangelog, authorizationMatrix, batchFile, bitbucket, bitbucketPush, bitbucketServer, booleanParam, branch, brokenBuildSuspects, brokenTestsSuspects, browser, buildButton, buildDiscarder, buildDiscarders, buildRetention, buildSingleRevisionOnly, buildUser, buildingTag, builtInNode, caseInsensitive, caseSensitive, certificate, cgit, changeRequest, changelog, changelogBase, changelogToBranch, changeset, checkoutOption, checkoutToSubdirectory, choice, choiceParam, cleanAfterCheckout, cleanBeforeCheckout, cleanWs, clock, cloneOption, command, concordionPublisher, configFile, configFileProvider, configMapVolume, containerEnvVar, containerLivenessProbe, containerTemplate, contributor, credentials, cron, crumb, culprits, default, defaultFolderConfiguration, defaultView, demand, dependenciesFingerprintPublisher, developers, disableConcurrentBuilds, disableRestartFromStage, disableResume, discoverOtherRefs, discoverOtherRefsTrait, docker, dockerCert, dockerServer, dockerTool, dockerfile, downstream, dumb, durabilityHint, dynamicPVC, email-ext, emptyDirVolume, emptyDirWorkspaceVolume, envVar, envVars, envVarsFilter, environment, equals, expression, extendedEmailPublisher, file, fileParam, filePath, findbugsPublisher, fingerprint, fingerprints, fisheye, frameOptions, freeStyle, freeStyleJob, fromDocker, fromScm, fromSource, git, gitBranchDiscovery, gitHooks, gitHubBranchDiscovery, gitHubBranchHeadAuthority, gitHubExcludeArchivedRepositories, gitHubExcludeForkedRepositories, gitHubExcludePrivateRepositories, gitHubExcludePublicRepositories, gitHubForkDiscovery, gitHubIgnoreDraftPullRequestFilter, gitHubPullRequestDiscovery, gitHubSshCheckout, gitHubTagDiscovery, gitHubTopicsFilter, gitHubTrustContributors, gitHubTrustEveryone, gitHubTrustNobody, gitHubTrustPermissions, gitLab, gitLabConnection, gitList, gitSCM, gitTagDiscovery, gitTool, gitUsernamePassword, gitWeb, gitblit, github, githubProjectProperty, githubPush, gitiles, gitlab, globalConfigFiles, gogs, gradle, groovy, headRegexFilter, headWildcardFilter, hostPathVolume, hostPathWorkspaceVolume, http, hyperlink, hyperlinkToModels, ignoreOnPush, inbound, inheriting, inheritingGlobal, installSource, invokerPublisher, isRestartedRun, issueCommentTrigger, jacocoPublisher, jdk, jdkInstaller, jgit, jgitapache, jgivenPublisher, jnlp, jobBuildDiscarder, jobDsl, jobName, junitPublisher, junitTestResultStorage, kiln, kubeconfig, kubernetes, kubernetesAgent, label, lastDuration, lastFailure, lastGrantedAuthorities, lastStable, lastSuccess, legacy, legacySCM, lfs, list, local, localBranch, localBranchTrait, locale, location, logRotator, loggedInUsersCanDoAnything, mailer, masterBuild, maven, maven3Mojos, mavenErrors, mavenGlobalConfig, mavenLinkerPublisher, mavenMojos, mavenWarnings, merge, modernSCM, multibranch, myView, namedBranchesDifferent, never, newContainerPerStage, nfsVolume, nfsWorkspaceVolume, node, nodeProperties, nonInheriting, none, nonresumable, not, onFailure, openTasksPublisher, organizationFolder, override, overrideIndexTriggers, paneStatus, parallelsAlwaysFailFast, parameters, password, pattern, perBuildTag, permanent, persistentVolumeClaim, persistentVolumeClaimWorkspaceVolume, phabricator, pipeline, pipeline-model, pipeline-model-docker, pipelineGraphPublisher, pipelineMaven, pipelineTriggers, plainText, plugin, podAnnotation, podEnvVar, podLabel, pollSCM, portMapping, preserveStashes, previous, projectNamingStrategy, proxy, pruneStaleBranch, pruneStaleTag, pruneTags, pullRequestReview, queueItemAuthenticator, quietPeriod, rateLimit, rateLimitBuilds, recipients, redmine, refSpecs, remoteName, requestor, resourceRoot, retainOnlyVariables, rhodeCode, run, runParam, sSHLauncher, schedule, scmGit, scmRetryCount, script, scriptApproval, scriptApprovalLink, search, secretEnvVar, secretVolume, security, shell, simpleBuildDiscarder, skipDefaultCheckout, skipStagesAfterUnstable, slackNotifier, slave, snapshotDependencies, sourceRegexFilter, sourceWildcardFilter, sparseCheckoutPaths, spotbugsPublisher, ssh, sshPublicKey, sshUserPrivateKey, standard, status, string, stringParam, submodule, submoduleOption, suppressAutomaticTriggering, suppressFolderAutomaticTriggering, swapSpace, tag, teamFoundation, teamSlugFilter, text, textParam, timestamper, timestamperConfig, timezone, tmpSpace, toolLocation, triggeredBy, unsecured, untrusted, upstream, upstreamDevelopers, url, userIdentity, userSeed, usernameColonPassword, usernamePassword, viewgit, viewsTabBar, weather, withAnt, withSonarQubeEnv, x509ClientCert, zip] or globals [airflowCron, buildImage, commonUtils, configureLocustMasterSlave, createCluster, currentBuild, deployAirflow, deployControl, deployDashboard, deployDeviceMonitor, deployMakerSuite, deployServerMonitor, deployV2Server, deployWeatherDriver, deployWebTNT, docker, dockerOperation, env, fetchDynamicImage, helm, imagePromotion, inspec, issuesDeploy, locustDeploy, nodeJSPipeline, notification, params, pipeline, pythonCIPipeline, scm, setupDruid, setupDruidPub, setupFlask, setupIstio, setupKafka, setupKafkaAlertDriver, setupKeycloak, setupKubernetesDashboard, setupLogging, setupMonitoringStack, setupRedis, sonnarScanner, terraform, zenalytixBuildImage, zenalytixDeploy] at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.DSL.invokeMethod(DSL.java:219) at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.CpsScript.invokeMethod(CpsScript.java:124) at groovy.lang.MetaClassImpl.invokeMethodOnGroovyObject(MetaClassImpl.java:1295) at groovy.lang.MetaClassImpl.invokeMethod(MetaClassImpl.java:1184) at groovy.lang.MetaClassImpl.invokeMethod(MetaClassImpl.java:1034) at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.PogoMetaClassSite.call(PogoMetaClassSite.java:41) at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.CallSiteArray.defaultCall(CallSiteArray.java:47) at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.callsite.AbstractCallSite.call(AbstractCallSite.java:116) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.sandbox.DefaultInvoker.methodCall(DefaultInvoker.java:20) at pythonCIPipeline.executePylint(pythonCIPipeline.groovy:114) at ___cps.transform___(Native Method) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.impl.ContinuationGroup.methodCall(ContinuationGroup.java:90) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.impl.FunctionCallBlock$ContinuationImpl.dispatchOrArg(FunctionCallBlock.java:116) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.impl.FunctionCallBlock$ContinuationImpl.fixArg(FunctionCallBlock.java:85) at jdk.internal.reflect.GeneratedMethodAccessor155.invoke(Unknown Source) at java.base/jdk.internal.reflect.DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.java:43) at java.base/java.lang.reflect.Method.invoke(Method.java:566) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.impl.ContinuationPtr$ContinuationImpl.receive(ContinuationPtr.java:72) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.impl.CollectionLiteralBlock$ContinuationImpl.dispatch(CollectionLiteralBlock.java:55) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.impl.CollectionLiteralBlock$ContinuationImpl.item(CollectionLiteralBlock.java:45) at jdk.internal.reflect.GeneratedMethodAccessor152.invoke(Unknown Source) at java.base/jdk.internal.reflect.DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.invoke(DelegatingMethodAccessorImpl.java:43) at java.base/java.lang.reflect.Method.invoke(Method.java:566) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.impl.ContinuationPtr$ContinuationImpl.receive(ContinuationPtr.java:72) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.impl.ConstantBlock.eval(ConstantBlock.java:21) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.Next.step(Next.java:83) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.Continuable$1.call(Continuable.java:152) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.Continuable$1.call(Continuable.java:146) at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport$ThreadCategoryInfo.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:136) at org.codehaus.groovy.runtime.GroovyCategorySupport.use(GroovyCategorySupport.java:275) at com.cloudbees.groovy.cps.Continuable.run0(Continuable.java:146) at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.SandboxContinuable.access$001(SandboxContinuable.java:18) at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.SandboxContinuable.run0(SandboxContinuable.java:51) at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.CpsThread.runNextChunk(CpsThread.java:187) at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.CpsThreadGroup.run(CpsThreadGroup.java:420) at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.CpsThreadGroup$2.call(CpsThreadGroup.java:330) at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.CpsThreadGroup$2.call(CpsThreadGroup.java:294) at org.jenkinsci.plugins.workflow.cps.CpsVmExecutorService$2.call(CpsVmExecutorService.java:67) at java.base/java.util.concurrent.FutureTask.run(FutureTask.java:264) at hudson.remoting.SingleLaneExecutorService$1.run(SingleLaneExecutorService.java:139) at jenkins.util.ContextResettingExecutorService$1.run(ContextResettingExecutorService.java:28) at jenkins.security.ImpersonatingExecutorService$1.run(ImpersonatingExecutorService.java:68) at jenkins.util.ErrorLoggingExecutorService.lambda$wrap$0(ErrorLoggingExecutorService.java:51) at java.base/java.util.concurrent.Executors$RunnableAdapter.call(Executors.java:515) at java.base/java.util.concurrent.FutureTask.run(FutureTask.java:264) at java.base/java.util.concurrent.ThreadPoolExecutor.runWorker(ThreadPoolExecutor.java:1128) at java.base/java.util.concurrent.ThreadPoolExecutor$Worker.run(ThreadPoolExecutor.java:628) at java.base/java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:829) Finished: FAILURE 
Please help me.
submitted by johntheh4cker to sysadmin [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 09:05 twitchRivalOCE Why were these decisions Nintendo made?

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Part 1: Intro/Gripes
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I love this game, but there is so much wrong/thoughtlessness with end-game completionist questlines and armor sets.
Firstly, why is the spirit sage a robot? Noone likes or uses this sage and it doesn't fit in with the ghostly thematic of the other sages in combat not to mention it's size not fitting. And ain't noone piloting this thing. It literally nerfs you by getting in it.
The sage should've been the end-game Zonaite warrior you get for completing the shrines. Size/theme would've fit and would've been more cohesive in battle, not this huge cumbersome robot that hits you sometimes.
Next, it feels so random to find legendary/highly coveted items like old Link sets in random chests in unguarded mines? Why do I find some of the coolest items in such random places, these should each be a reward of at least a side adventure or a reward for long collectible questlines (the wells/signposts/blupee/bubbulfrog/koroks/lightroots) all yield basically no reward for what they are and, unless you're a completionist, have 0 incentive.
There's no item or reward that people actually want for finishing these. Why is the Fierce Deity armor where it is? Why is this not the reward for all shrines, something people actually want/will use? It's literally the armor of a god and fits having the stats the other one does. Also why is the sword so boring? Give it a master sword beam on every strike like MM or at least give the Set that bonus, everything is so nerfed in this game.
I found the sea-breeze shield, one of the coolest, strongest, most nostalgic items literally in a random stump guarded by 1 (one) tree in the middle of nowhere significant?
Menu/organisation needs streamlining (add favorites/alphabetise, better categorisation. C'mon Nintendo I consistently use 10 of the hundred+items/attachements in the game)
ADD AN EQUIP ALL ARMOR SET BUTTON Y DO I HAVE TO DO EACH ONE INDIVIDUALLY?!
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Part 2: Rewards
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My suggestion for these, and just adding more exciting items that're worthwhile are as follows, but would be endgame items for balancing (noone is going to get all 1000 koroks in a speedrun just to get a good item only to be used when you basically have everything anyway)
Hover boots- using these either gives bullet time/double jump mechanic (I strongly believe double jump mechanics are one of the most fun in any game and would just work well in the environment)
Iron boots- you can now explore underwatedifferent combat aspects (can't be blown/knocked away etc)
Bunny hood- just a flat tier 1 speedboost at all times that gives like 1/2 armor for balancing
Ocarina/instrument- controls weather (song of storms etc/day night without campfire so you can actually use it in the rain)
Some kind of item that draws loot
^ but draws rupees (these can both be toggled on/off. Maybe you get this for shooting every blupee in the game once, it turns white or s/t to signify)
Hookshot- just a bit better traversal in general, can hook onto basically anything, not just wood.
Elemental arrows- no longer have to fuse to be able to use elementals
Mirror shield- looks cool, deflect enemy attacks without parry
Yiga scroll- make this useable? Why is it so heavily nerfed? At least make it create a gust out of the ground or break ore? Such a cool concept that noone uses.
List goes on and on of things you could add that I'd actually be excited to find.
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Part 3: Armor sets
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A lot of the best and most exciting armor sets are completely nullified by their own features.
With each of the elemental dragon sets, which look amazing (love the dynamic pattern changes) and have decent effects, you have to be in an element that makes you take damage (heat/ice/thunder) in order to use it, and ain't noone using a tonic just so you can. The tradeoff isn't there. Just make it so the effects are passive always but have a cooldown like normal elemental weapons do.
WHAT IS WITH THE MYSTIC ARMOR?! I get hit once and lose 200 RUPEES?! For a pretty substantial questline this was the most disappointing reward and one of the armors I was most excited for from an aesthetic standpoint. It also can't be upgraded, so if you want to lose less rupees by increasing it's defensive value, well bad luck. Would've been a good opportunity for an endgame rupee sink to upgrade.
Any item that can't be upgraded, even if they're just cosmetics?! Like now I can't even wear them while just doing quests and endgame filler unless I wanna get 1 shot lynel farming. Nintendo, it doesn't break the game to make each set have a fully upgraded base of 60. There're much better things if I actually want combat stats. I also love the archaic set but there's 0 reason to ever use it?
Why does the slipsuit barely work? I was convinced this is bugged but it's just bad. Why does the zora armor barely speed up swimming? Give me majoras mask swimming.
Miner set...??????? Brightblooms outshine (lol) this in every single way.
Tunic of memories is worse than champion leathers in every single way, why would we ever use it? Let it show hitpoints again.
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Part 4: Sweats
Please add something to accomodate to those wanting to test their skill apart from Lynels.
As an avid enjoyer and believer that proving ground shrines are the best part of the game, I REALLY would LOVE a Cave of Ordeals (Twilight Princess) type of deal. Floor 1 you spawn in with 3 hearts and a stick, descending down a deep tunnel/cave floors 30-100. Each floor has a new challenge (you fight in the dark/on floating platforms, w/e) vs. increasingly harder enemies. Every 5-10 floors has a cooking pot where you can cook viable recipes to prepare with the scarce food/resources you loot and are forced to use your game survival mechanics to their fullest to complete.
The reward would be something insane like hover boots for double jump, maybe great fairy sword, fierce deity set, fierce deity sword, ocarina etc.
Sidequest based so it can be ignored.
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Part 5: End
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I have no intention of doing all the Koroks, but I definitely would if it gave me an item that vacuumed loot to me. Or all the wells, but definitely would if it gave me the bunny hood. Or all the bubbulfrogs, but definitely would for a Mirror Shield. Or all the blupees (this isn't a quest, but it could be) and gave me an item for vacuuming rupees.
None of these things would break the game because you get them so late, and they just make late game farming/traversal easiemore enjoyable/smoother.
Feels like they didn't think about a lot of these things. Probably a lot of issues I had but you get the point. To reiterate, I LOVE this game, one of the best I've ever played. There just feels to be a lot of thoughtlessness behind a lot of endgame decisions (ANOTHER KOROK POO? AN ALL'S WELL SNOWGLOBE?!)
Thoughts?
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2023.06.07 08:38 GavinGaming4536 Nah 💀

Nah 💀
Bruh
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2023.06.07 08:31 Pete-zaTime Please god, I want to impregnate Falling so bad.

Please god, I want to impregnate Falling so bad.
Please God, I want to impregnate Falling Devil so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips. That beautiful, radiant chef. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins.

She's perfect!
Falling is beyond divine. I can’t help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure. I yearn for her in a way both primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than every president in United States history just to lick the sweet, glistening sweat from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her, I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal union.
I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich coconut milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging erection. I would stir her velvety cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with a building just to be near her for a brief moment.

She's also very cute!
She’s so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her pure, white pantsuit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak such filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my gaping pisshole.
I want to fuck her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or cock rings. Whichever would please her more.
God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase myself in cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I don’t know what I’d do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it.

I want to penetrate her so bad!
My queen, my goddess, the light of my life. Please God, let me have her. I want her to be mine and only mine. I would lick the blood from her fingers and fill her belly button with honey mustard to dip my tendies in. I would give her a sponge-bath with my tongue every morning and serve her breakfast in bed. I would let her eat her eggs and pancakes off my body if it pleased her, no matter how painful the third-degree burns would be.
I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the her butt but once. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her, nothing I wouldn’t say. I would beat my own mother to death with my engorged penis if it would bring a smile to Falling's shining face. I wouldn’t even let myself cum until she gave me permission. I love you, Falling Devil. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my lover, my everything. Say yes. I see it in your eyes, when you’re up there making food for the guy Bob. Please be real, respond to me. Something. Give me a sign, Falling.
I’m waiting for you. I’ll always be waiting for you.
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2023.06.07 07:01 4ShotBot My Roommate is Slenderman: Finale/Epilogue

Part 26: https://www.reddit.com/Viidith22/comments/141nvay/my_roommate_is_slenderman_part_26/
(Terry)
I awoke an hour later, brain pulsing. I was in the back of the van laying on the floor, “The prodigal son returns, welcome back you crazy son of a bitch!” Tucker laughed.
“Took on a god face to face. Pretty sure the only one with bigger balls than that would be Abraham. Though, balls didn’t save you.” Doc said, looking up from his book.
“Took the last core I had, but at least I can say I’ve killed a god now.” Tucker snickered with a smirk.
“Concentrated light, can’t say it’s what I would have thought of, but it was effective.”
“Yeah, wasn’t effective portably until we came across some anti-matter from a crashed–”
“What?” I tried sitting up but failed.
“Right.” He stood, propping up the left row of seats, and pulled out a black case. Flicking it up he aimed it down at me, “Anti-matter annihilation laser. Think you can piece it together.” There were about five lenses that each shrunk, narrowing the barrel to a tip. Everything but the lenses was coated in a vanta black paint, “Each lens reduces the energy state while also–”
“I couldn’t give less fucks if I pulled them out of Doc’s patients. You killed him with that thing?”
“Yup, his head’s probably gettin' breathed in from the wildlife out here.” He clicked the case shut, put it back in place, and sat.
“And the data is intact?”
There was a brief pause, “While it is, I feel it’s important to be more concerned about yourself. You have major skull fractures, a concussion, you’re missing your face flesh, your back had to be clotted to avoid you bleeding out, and you are severely low on blood. You should be sleeping right now.”
“I just, I had to know.”
“Knowing you, you’ll be back on your feet in–”
I passed out again before he finished talking.
---------------------------------------------
When I awoke, I was on my bed, Sepratine was applying herbs to my face, “Ho–”
“16 hours, Doctor Sadist and Rachel are busy. You really ought to be more cautious, this isn’t one of your video games.”
“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind. You heard from Jones?”
“No, apparently he passed out at the wheel after he parked. The Sadist said they’d be out for a while. He’s having Rachel look them over once she finishes a project she’s working on.”
“Shouldn’t you be helping her?”
She put her mortar down and sighed, “Flip onto your side, I need to replace the bandages on your back, then you need to eat.”
She finished tending to me in silence, then went to cook. The whole time, I just wanted to get up and finish everything. But even if I did, the data wasn’t fully recovered until it was sifted through. So I resigned to wait until the detective got back to me.
Sepratine came back a while later with a plate toppling over itself and a glass of water. Not to get too detailed, but both were empty in a matter of… 30 seconds or so? “Now get back to sleep. Your face should be back to normal in another day, and your skull is still fusing back together.”
“Let me know when Jones has the info.” She stood, taking my plate and cup.
“Someone will I’m sure. Get some rest, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t. You were reckless enough… Whatever, goodbye.”
-------------------------------
When I came to again, my face was dry, the medicine Sepratine had put on felt like a cracked desert, leaving a green crust behind. I stood, heading to the bathroom to wash my face. I took my meds, then removed the bandages from my back. Heading back to my room, I grabbed my phone, seeing several missed calls and texts. I immediately opened the message from Jones.
Call me when you wake up, I’ve got it, you’re not gonna believe where it is.
The phone rang four times, “Eh? Terry, that you?” He yawned.
“Yeah, what’s the deal?”
“You remember when you first met me?”
“No.”
“Well, I was headed to a town down in southeastern Oregon, one that wasn’t on any maps. And you’re not gonna believe this shit, but Tenyit Lane, the place I went, that’s where he’s being held.”
“So you know where I need to go?”
“Yeah, the place is a hot zone for organizations. There’re at least seven that I’ve recorded since I first went, and that’s not including–”
“And?”
“Well, point is, there’s security everywhere, people are gonna be everywhere, and the police and government officials are gonna be too busy counting bodies to care about one missing person.”
“Send me the coordinates.” I took a picture of my wall, putting the phone back against my ear.
“I’ll do you one better, I still have an old map to the place, I’ll send it over.”
“I don’t care what you say, I am paying you after this.”
I was already out the door, wearing nothing but a hoodie and sweatpants. I started the car, threw on EDM, and headed down to find Joseph.
------------------------------
A grey smoke rose in the night air above the town. I had a good ten miles left on the empty road before getting to the one stop on the entire strip. As I climbed the mountain, I turned my windshield wipers up more and more. The road was coated in a light crust of white, the speckles dropping ever so carefully in the light wind.
As I rounded a bend, I saw a flicker of headlights through the pine trees. Rounding the next one, I saw the lights again, this time coming around their own turn, before heading in my direction. The snow picked up as I met the gaze of the other driver, it was her.
I screeched to a stop, whipping a U-turn that nearly sent me into the rails. I stopped, having noticed her car was pulled over to the railing too. I jumped out of my car, running over to her, and grasping her in my arms, “I thought I’d killed you Tresca!”
Setting her down, my brain fully processed its surroundings. The person in front of me was Joseph, he was a bit shocked, but the rest of him reminded me of how he looked when we first met, “I-I’m sorry, I just–”
“Look, Terry. Honestly, it’s great to see you, great to have clear evidence I’m not crazy, great to know all those fun ass memories at the apartment were real. But…”
“I’m just so glad you’re okay.”
He smirked, but his eyes were hollow, “Yeah, okay…”
“I mean, you’re alive though!”
“Terry, this isn’t going to work.” He looked up, “I can’t ignore what you said when you saw me.” He looked back at me, nervous, “I read up on you, it was intrusive, and I’m sorry for that, but I can’t keep being a replacement. I need to live my own life, I need to get away from all this, I…” His eyes filled, but refused to streak, “I want to live a life away from all of this. I know a normal life isn’t really an option anymore. But I still wanna do what I can.”
“You… read my files?” I glanced at my phone, thinking about the picture I’d taken before leaving, “Which ones?”
“Your old life, hers too. Once I got ahold of my files, I decided to do some digging. I was me, but not I guess, I had to get an understanding of who the people I used to know were. I know about Tresca, I remember your conversation with Maerod.”
“I…”
He waited for a while, a few cars flew by us before he took the rope, “I will never regret the time we had. We had fun, we had some adventures and even a few emotional tipping points. Without you and everyone else, I’d probably have a slab of a ruck on top of me now. I don’t feel like dying anymore, but I also don’t feel like living. I’m sorry, but… I need to find my life out there.” He threw his arm up, gesturing around, “But if I stay with you, I’ll never get that chance.”
I tried to maintain myself, for seemingly the first time, taking Joseph as a person in. His overgrown brown hair, his blue eyes, broad shoulders, bland outfit. “You look different from before.”
“I feel different.” He shot a breath out his nose.
I staggered, “Let me grab something from my car before you go. You mind coming with?”
He nodded, gazing up at the grey sky. Several more cars flew past us as we made our way to mine. When we got there, I pulled out a small bag,
I reached into my car, pulling out the contract, “This was the guy that placed a hit on your wife. He’s dead now.”
A car flew by, lighting up his face to reveal his frozen face, “Y-you mean it? Who killed him?” He snatched the paper from my hand, looking over the entire sheet.
“The detective put on her case, the original guy is my understanding. Goes by Jones, he’s a P.I. now.”
“Really? Where is he?”
I cleared my throat, “You su–”
“Positive, where is he?”
I rubbed my arm, but looking at his hopeful face, I caved, “Apex Investigation Office, downtown Albany.”
He hugged me, “Thank you… Seriously, this…” He cried into my stomach for a time before pulling back and recomposing himself. Rubbing his nose dry, he turned around.
“Wait!”
He stopped, turning his head to me, “Yeah?”
I held onto my phone, debating to show him the picture or not. We stood still as two more cars flew by, followed by one with sirens. I pushed my phone back into my pocket, “Where are you going?”
He turned back to his car, holding up the contract, “To repay a debt. You’ll get yours too one of these days.”
Sitting in his car, he drove off without another word.
I sat in mine, pulling the phone from my pocket, and opened the gallery. I had one recent picture, it was one of the walls in my room, one with several posters. All of which were had drawn anime style portraits of Tresca. “Maybe Abraham was right, and maybe, Joseph has the right idea too.”
----------------------------------------
(Joseph)
Epilogue:
I dried my face as I left him behind, unsure of what to do first. I sat with music blasting for the first hour, mind flashing through the events like a slideshow. When I eventually came across a convenience store. It was a 24/7 place, the kind that had hot dogs on the roller for days at a time, and the only people that worked there couldn’t get a job anywhere else.
I pulled into a parking space and picked my phone off the passenger seat. I’d already decided I’d go to the detective’s place last. But I’d never been to Rachel’s before, and I didn’t remember her phone number. “What if I?”
I dialed a number, letting it ring a good five times when “Chad’s Cads how can I help you?”
“God, tell me that isn’t the name of your shop.”
“Joseph? Is that you bro?”
“Yeah, it’s been a while, good to hear from you.”
“Where the hell have you been man!? Terry’s out look–”
“It’s all sorted now. I don’t mean to be callous, I promise I’ll catch you up to speed later. But do you have Rachel’s number?”
“Oh, yeah. Everything good dude?”
“Yeah, she apparently told Terry to have me see her when he found me, so…”
“Oh for sure.”
“So can you send me her number?”
“Oh right, yeah. Good luck bro, come by when you have time. I wanna see how strong you are.”
“Sounds good Chad.” I hung up, smiling. A minute or so later, I had her number.
“Joseph?” Her voice was smooth.
“Hey Rachel I…”
“Chad messaged me.”
“Gotcha, Terry said you wanted to see me?”
“Yes, there’s a lot you need to know biologically if you want to pass for human.”
I sighed, rubbing my side, “Where should I meet you?”
“I’ll send you the location, Sepratine will be here too.”
“Oh, yaaaaaay.” She was alright, but she always had a whole bag of chips on her shoulder.
“See you soon. Oh, and did you happen to feel an aching in your right side at any point?”
“More than you know.”
“How frequently?”“Well, I was starved for a few days at one point, aside from that though I’d say a couple times a week if not more?”
“...Was that the entire time you were gone?”
“Not entirely sure, the first month or so is still kind of hazy, but since I was moved into town yeah.”
“...Okay, just… See you when you arrive.” Click
“I thought Doc was supposed to be the cryptic one of the bunch,” I smirked, a tear forming in my eye. “Goddamnit.” I wiped it, clicking the address she’d sent me, and heading on my way. Only after I picked up some gas station food.
-----------------------------------
“Oh my.”
“It’s me.” I did jazz hands, wearing a faux smile.
“Your soul is much… larger than I anticipated. Come inside, I’m sure you’re hungry.”
A whiff of cedar and sweetgrass slapped me in the face, “Wow, that’s… pungent.”
“Apologies, my sense of smell isn’t very strong, and Sepratine is….”She took a sharp intake of breath, closing the door behind me.
Looking around, the house seemed pretty standard, aside from the greenhouse in the living room, “So uh, what’s this you got goin here?”
“Take your shoes off please,” She did the same, “Creating chemicals from what’s in the air is taxing, it’s more convenient to just have the plants you need on hand.” She headed toward a door down the hall, “My equipment is downstairs.” She opened the door and I followed.
The air was a solid 80 or so, with humidity so thick it was like snorkeling, pollen so strong it activated allergies I hadn’t had since I was five. “Quite the quaint home you have here.”
“Oh right, sorry again.”
“No, you’re good, I’m just gonna need a few boxes of tissues is all.”
“Oh Jo–Joseph, my gods, you’re… wow. Different is a word, what happened to your soul?” Sepratine was turned to us, standing in front of a table with apparently every plant unknown to man of it.
“That’s kinda why I’m here.”
“Oh right, don’t mind me, just running a few experiments, Rachel has the perfect climate down here for a few plants.”
“Alright Joseph, hop on the bed.” Rachel stood in front of a wooden table, I couldn’t help but notice vials and jars stacked neatly on a counter that circled half the room, as well as a set of tables that held assorted plants with different lights hovering over them.
I sat on the table, “You need me to turn my head and cough?”
“No, first I need you to eat. It’ll be easier if you’re digesting food.”
She headed to a small closed-off area, then came back, plate in hand. Mostly just leafy greens. Maybe some kind of bean too?
“Go ahead, this should pass through you at just the right speed for me to catch it.” She turned, heading to another room, “Oh right, when you’re done I’ll need you to take off your shirt and lie down.” Then she headed through a door.
A few minutes passed and I finished the salad. Putting my plate on an open section of a counter and throwing my shirt to the side, I laid down, “Sepratine, you know anything about Vampirism?”
“Only rumors, they’re rare, so you’re the only one I’ve met.”
“Rarer than what you are?”
“Dryads are uncommon for sure. But given my personal experience, I’d say you’re one of a kind.”
“Awwwe, thank you.” I said sarcastically, “But is that all? They’re rare?”
“You’re here for Rachel because they’re rare. She’s met something like five, even got to do a lab experiment on one of them, saw how their stem reacted to stimulus. She’s the closest thing to an expert I can think of.”
Rachel made her entrance with the smack of the door on the wall, “Alright, don’t worry Joseph, I’m not going to cut you open today, I just want to see how large your stem has gotten. Based on your soul, you might be around half to ¾ vampire. But the only way to tell for sure is to see the size of your stem.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask, but everyone else I’ve met who knows about it has been a psychopath. What’s a stem?”
“Oh, kind of like a parasite is my current understanding.” She picked up a large metal plate, pressed it against my stomach, and used a metal rod to probe my right side.
“Come again?”
“Well… it’s more like a symbiotic relationship? Consider it another organ, only it’s wrapped around a portion of your large intestine. A full vampire has them fused, and it becomes an addition. But a partial, you can still see where they are two entities.”
“So you can cure me?”
She scoffed, “No.” Putting the plate and rod away, she pulled out a roundish object and squeezed some kind of gel onto the end before rubbing it against my right side. “If it’s removed, both entities die. You’re a symbiote now, you each rely on each other. In return for giving it nutrients, it gives you cells that allow you to regenerate anything short of half or more of it. They’re akin to stem cells, but enhanced. It extracts your DNA and replicates what it needs to to keep you alive for as long as possible. That’s the working theory I currently have anyway.”
“So I have a parasite in me?”
“A symbiote, you two aid each other, there are only benefits for each of you. Not to mention the enhanced soul… which I’m not entirely sure what causes that yet. Though the more vampirized you are, the more spiritual power a vampire seems to have. Considering that’s how it’s been with the last five, it’s only an assumption. But if that is the case, I am curious about the correlation.” She put the device down, handing me a towel, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to see the images I got back. Time to see how far along you are.”
Patting me on the stomach, she walked out of sight, and I wiped my side down. Sitting up, I hopped off the table, picked up my shirt, throwing it back on. Then, it was dark.
---------------------------
My eyes shot open, I was upright on the hardwood table, eyes darting around for the threat.
“Relaaaax, you’re fine.” Rachel and Sepratine stood beside me, and I loosened up, wired as hell.
Standing, I regained my balance, “Which one of you knocked me out?”
“Neither.” Rachel said, offended, “You fainted, you had several nutrient deficiencies, and call me crazy, but I don’t think you were willing to hear what I had to say.”
I mulled it over, a burst of panic surging when I thought about the thing inside me. But I managed to push it back into its little jar. Which I promptly placed back on the shelf with the rest of my emotions. “I’m fine.”
“Yes, now. But I have to be honest with you, the ultrasound came back more worrying than I expected. You’re only about ¼ so far. Your soul is far larger than any of my calculations suggested.”
“Right on.”
“Joseph, you have far more potential than I expected. While I advise safety, occasionally fasting may build up your soul to around as strong as Smudge.”
“Cool beans.”
“The issue is that you have an extremely high-functioning stem. You’ll need extremely nutrient-dense foods with extremely specific nutrients to maintain yourself as you are, let alone grow stronger. I’ll have what you need, but if you don’t want to go on a killing spree every few days, you’ll need an extremely strict diet.”
“How much is that gonna run me?”
She sighed, rubbing her eyes, “Quite frankly, I’ll charge you what it costs me. I don’t want you going on a murder frenzy. You’re my friend, but that’d also guarantee your death. As not only an alchemist, but a scientist, I can’t allow that. I’ll charge you at the end of each month. How does that sound?”
“Cool, do you have an estimate?”
“Joseph I feel you are hearing me but not listening.”
“No, I’ve got it.”
“This will be in the ballpark of 1500 dollars a month, and that’s alongside normal meals. Which should help you not only maintain but build up. The pain will feel like you’re being digested if you get to the point of dangerous starvation. Now, repeat everything I just said back to you.”
When I did from start to finish, she rubbed her face, “Alright, you can pick up your supply weekly from here. For now, though, I have something that should hold you over until next Friday, when I’ll have the actual supplies.”
She helped load a few milk crates into my overstuffed car, and when I went to start my car, she gestured for me to roll the window down. “Yes?”
“There are places you can get help you know?”
“I think I can handle the vampirism thing.”
“Joseph…” She stared at me, tugging at my bucket of guilt, tipping it ever so slightly.
“I’ll be fine. Thank you Rachel.” I flicked the button up and the window went with it as I pulled out of her driveway in the suburbs of West Salem.
-----------------------------
“Joseph?” The familiar guy behind a desk just across from me stared, eye agape.
“D-Detective? What uh… what happened to your erm… you?”
“Long story. What happened to you?”
“Long story.”
He chuckled, “Guess you were in that town for a while. What are you doing here?”
I held up the contract, “I’ve got a debt I needa pay.”
-------------------------------------
Author’s Note:
Hey guys, 4Shot speaking. Holy FUCK guys. This has been my longest-running series, it’s been 3.5 years in the making. Hell, it was the series that got me into this whole writing shebang. It feels weird to be saying goodbye to Joseph, given this series has been with me since the start. I’ve seen my ups alongside this story, and those who read or listened to the poker scene in my detective series will know I’ve had my downs.
Though, it’s not exactly the end. I have one final series I’ll be writing to wrap everything up. Those who have followed my first three may notice a trend. And yes, the final series will be a continuation of Jones’ tale. It’s been a long time coming, and I hope to complete it before february, which is when I’ll be taking an extended hiatus. I’ll be back, but I have some things I want to do first. This entire unraveling story will have been a part of my life for over 4 years by then, something like that is hard to just let go, and I have some life I wanna experience. So I may be gone for around 6 months to a year when I’ve finished the Detective’s story.
I’m glad so many of you have enjoyed my stories. I honestly never expected to go anywhere with any of this, thought I’d give this series up around part 3, and writing would just be another dead hobby of mine. But here we are. Honestly, there are a lot of people to thank, but the main people are my boy TeeStache who got me into writing, NaturesTemper who picked up my terrible rough draft of this series, and Viidith who first found my detective series and asked to narrate it, and proceeded to narrate my Lighthouse series.
It’s been a crazy ride out there, and I only intend to make it crazier in the future. Thanks again guys, cheers.
submitted by 4ShotBot to Viidith22 [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 05:55 TheMostGiftedSeraph Jagex Launcher and RS Game Client on Linux Using Bottles

Hello world (guardians)!

After seeing Jagex will not support Linux, I set out to find a way to get the Windows versions to run on Linux. I am not the first to try to find such a solution, but I wanted to share.
I'm running the Windows version of the Jagex Launcher and RS3 game client on Linux using Bottles, a wine prefix manager. Here's how I got it set up:
  1. Escape wine dependency hell using Glorious Eggroll's guide here.
  2. Install Bottles (And since Bottles is a Flatpak, installing Flatseal is a good idea, too).
  3. Create a new bottle using the 'Gaming' preset. I recommend the soda-7.0-9 runner.
  4. Install dotnet48 in Dependencies (This might take a while, don't panic! It also could probably be replaced with mono, but I haven't tested it myself yet).
  5. Copy over the Jagex Launcher installation files from Windows to your Bottle.
    1. In Windows, default path of these files is C:\Program Files (x86)\Jagex Launcher Copy the whole folder!
    2. In Linux, default Bottles path is ~/.vaapp/com.usebottles.bottles/data/bottles/bottles
      1. You can also click the three vertical dots at the top of the Bottle Details window, and 'Browse Files'
  6. Run JagexLauncher.exe by clicking 'Run Executable...' and navigating to the .exe in the bottle.
    1. It will attempt to update, and ultimately fail. Force quit, close, etc if prompted, and run it again. The second time should run properly.
  7. Login, install the game client via the launcher like you would on Windows, and continue your adventures in Gielinor!
OR, if that seems like a lot, you can import this config file in Bottles by following these steps:

  1. Escape wine dependency hell using Glorious Eggroll's guide here.
  2. Install Bottles (And since Bottles is a Flatpak, installing Flatseal is a good idea, too).
  3. Copy/paste the YAML file below into your favorite text editor, and save it as JagexLauncherBottleConfig.yml
  4. In Bottles, click the hamburger button at the top of the window and 'Import' JagexLauncherBottleConfig.yml
  5. Copy over the Jagex Launcher installation files from Windows to your Bottle (See above for path info)
  6. Run JagexLauncher.exe by clicking 'Run Executable...' and navigating to the .exe in the bottle.
    1. It will attempt to update, and ultimately fail. Force quit, close, etc if prompted, and run it again. The second time should run properly.
  7. Login, install the game client via the launcher like you would on Windows, and continue your adventures in Gielinor!
Jagex Launcher Bottle Config YAML:
Arch: win64 CompatData: '' Creation_Date: '2023-06-03 15:14:32.775792' Custom_Path: false DLL_Overrides: {} DXVK: dxvk-2.2 Environment: Gaming Environment_Variables: {} External_Programs: {} Installed_Dependencies: - d3dx9 - msls31 - arial32 - times32 - courie32 - d3dcompiler_43 - d3dcompiler_47 - dotnet40 - dotnet48 - andale32 - arialb32 - comic32 - georgi32 - impact32 - tahoma32 - trebuc32 - verdan32 - webdin32 Language: sys LatencyFleX: latencyflex-v0.1.1 NVAPI: dxvk-nvapi-v0.6.3 Name: Jagex Launcher Parameters: custom_dpi: 96 decorated: true discrete_gpu: true dxvk: true dxvk_nvapi: false fixme_logs: false fsr: false fsr_quality_mode: none fsr_sharpening_strength: 2 fullscreen_capture: false gamemode: false gamescope: false gamescope_borderless: false gamescope_fps: 0 gamescope_fps_no_focus: 0 gamescope_fullscreen: true gamescope_game_height: 0 gamescope_game_width: 0 gamescope_scaling: false gamescope_window_height: 0 gamescope_window_width: 0 latencyflex: false mangohud: false mouse_warp: true obsvkc: false pulseaudio_latency: false renderer: gl sandbox: false sync: esync take_focus: false use_be_runtime: true use_eac_runtime: true use_runtime: false use_steam_runtime: false versioning_automatic: false versioning_compression: false versioning_exclusion_patterns: false virtual_desktop: false virtual_desktop_res: 1280x720 vkbasalt: false vkd3d: true vmtouch: false vmtouch_cache_cwd: false Path: Jagex_Launcher Runner: soda-7.0-9 RunnerPath: '' Sandbox: share_net: false share_sound: false State: 0 Uninstallers: {} Update_Date: '2023-06-04 00:36:36.242621' VKD3D: vkd3d-proton-2.8 Versioning: false Versioning_Exclusion_Patterns: [] Windows: win10 WorkingDir: '' data: {} run_in_terminal: false session_arguments: '' 
Ok, sorry for the long post...I'm still working on this, and plan to host a more detailed guide someplace smarter than a Reddit post, but wanted to share what I've got now. A few things I'm already tracking:
Happy to help troubleshoot any issues whenever I can, but I'm also a noob, so suggestions are always welcome!
submitted by TheMostGiftedSeraph to runescape [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 05:42 ode2the2ndhour Life beyond

It's funny how one discovery can change the entire human races perspective on life. Monday June 5th of 2023, my wife and I were doing our normal routine, her relaxing from a long day at work and I the same. "Oh my god" she exclaimed, intrigued I asked what was up, she tossed her phone at me and on the screen was an article published today on microbial life found on Mars. I threw her phone back and pulled mine from out from in between the couch cusions and began my journey down the rabbit hole to figure out if that was real. It was. Nasa has published their own statements and every news channel I could think of was reporting on it. "This is insane" my wife shouts from across the room. "I can't believe it" I replied. June 6th reports from Nasa came out explaining that the "organism" was found on the ships outer hull and likely was picked up during travel, it also doesn't display and distinctive patterns with similar life on earth, so it most definitely wasn't brought from Earth and is likely dormant. Quite frankly I wasn't impressed, I am definitely an "I want to believe" guy, I had always imagined this is how we'd find our first signs of life outside our own, but held out hope for little Grey men. Now so more than ever. June 7th was the day man lost all power. An alert came to my phone in the early hours, something around 4AM, normally I'd fall asleep but as most people know it's hard to ignore the amber alert notifications. "FEDERAL ALERT SYSTEM: STAY INDOORS AND AVOID ALL CONTACT WITH ANYONE OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOME" my heart dropped pretty hard and I was confused, covid 2.0? Closing the alert snd opening the browser app I was immediately met with news reports that all employees and personnel of Kennedy Space Center had suddenly died, and those near the center or those that came into contact were dead or dying. The local government was said to be working on a way to quarantine the area. It was too late though. Today is June 12th, everything around the country is shutdown, except for those out looting and doing what ever their hearts content. It's reported that the entire southern portion of the U.S and Northern Mexico is likely dead. It's spreading fast. Today's the first reports came out that this "organism" was the cause. This unimpressive microbial piece of shit reportedly rapidly evolved to its new environment, going from something that had to be put into a petri dish to be observed into something akin to the parasites that infect praying mantis. Except being nearly the size of a car after ejecting from its host. It starts out as small as an apple seed and makes its way into one's ear and that's it, internal incubation. When it's all grown up which merely takes 40 minutes to an hour it climbs on out in a horrifying fashion normally reserved to indie horror films, coated in little apple seed babies to find their next host. There's no cure, no anti-virus. Nothing. The local governments have completely given up. What more is there to stand up for when your death is inevitably close? I don't know anymore. The first reports have appeared in the next town over. My wife took the shotgun to herself last night. I spent the whole night with that barrel inches from my forehead but I'm a pussy, although nobody alive will read this, it's oddly satisfying to get it out. We humans are so frail, just one mistake and your life's over. You spend your whole life worried about the tasks your day requires, work, school, sex, drugs, and BAM! Black slithery space worms burst your fucking seams.
My ear itches like hell.
submitted by ode2the2ndhour to scarystories [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 05:12 bleppieeee hippospace discovered secrets so far

disclaimer: this is a collection of the super secret stuff to do with the command terminal and the traffic light machine, this is not related to the achievements.
if a duck floats into the giant dome through the tunnel (the door keeps closing and opening so it might take a while) it will find a giant room with a machine filled with lights in traffic light colors that can be turned on, you will not be able to access this machine until a duck gets there to load the area. there is a button on the top right you can press to get a special tv duck which will be important later. if you copy the pattern from the dominos (from the secret room in the first map) with the light, the screen on the left will give you a code which is unique for every save, you will need to keep this code for later.
now go to the big silver robot you can launch a duck from, on the right there is a command terminal which asks for a username, this can be found on the tv duck you found earlier but it is a pigpen cipher, decoded it says g.toto (this is always the same), input this as the username, and it will ask for a password, this will be the code you got from the light machine, once your in youll be able to use commands (case sensitive!) to view folders and a few files, the current known commands are:
dir (shows available folders and files once youve accessed those folders)
cd [folder name] (takes you into the folders)
cd.. (exits the folder)
open [file name] (lets you see most files)
currently the sys folder and log folder is empty, the sounds file contains 3 midi files that can be played by simply typing the file name in the folder, by opening the files you can see the notes played:
1.midi (D-G-A#-C)
2.midi (F-D-A-C-A-G)
3.midi (D-A#-A-G-A#)
the last folder is the forsaken folder, if you have not pressed the button in the infinity cool secret room, this folder will be empty, but if you have then there will be the Texture.db file, if you try to open the file it will tell you the file is corrupted and cannot be opened, however, a new error log will now appear in the log folder, by opening this file you will be shown a code which is unique for every save but follows a set pattern:
there will always be 3 sections of x y and z letters starting with a g. there can be between 1-4 of each of the x y z letters. at the end of the log there is a 3 digit number code which seems to be randomized. this is hard to explain so heres a few examples of codes people have gotten to give you an idea of the general pattern:
GXXGYYYYGZZZ619 (mine)
GXXGYYGZZZ976 (carnidoof)
GXXXXGYYYGZ881 (ilikecorndogs)
GXXXXGYYYYGZZZ735 (JorgeGameDev)
GXXXXGYYYYGZZZ509 (kraboo)
we have not discovered anything else yet, weve tried many combinations on the light machine using the error logs and the midi files but no luck. if anyone has any ideas or solutions your help would be much appreciated on the discord where most of the discoveries are happening, (in the-campfire channel), discord would also be much better considering all the drama following reddit right now.
p.s. the pigpen cipher on the outside of the dome translates to LETMEIN but currently we have not discovered if this is linked to the secrets or if it was simply the duck just wanting to get into the room.
quack
edit: look at KK964's comment she pretty much solved the rest! (the 264 is from using the placement of the g note from each of the midi songs)
submitted by bleppieeee to Placidplasticducks [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 04:25 dollcollective I Was a Last-Minute Replacement in an Off-Broadway Play. Something Else Was Backstage With Us.

When I was getting started, an actor I knew gave me some really good advice. While deciding whether or not to take a certain role, consider three factors: the money, the show, and the people. If at least two of those things are good, accept the job. If they’re paying you well and you love the play, you won’t mind putting up with shitty people. If it’s a great show with a cast full of friends, but you’re not getting paid so well, that’s still alright, it’ll be artistically fulfilling. If it’s a bad show but you love the cast and you’re making money, you’ll probably have the time of your life making fun of the playwright backstage and laughing all the way to the bank.
What my friend failed to mention is that as an aspiring actor, you don’t usually get to be that picky. When I got the call from my agent that a production of The Bacchae was urgently seeking a new chorus member, all I could see were dollar signs. My survival job had just fallen through (the family I nannied for was moving upstate, insisting that Manhattan had just gotten “too dangerous” for their toddler), and my savings were only going to cover my rent for another month.
It was raining the day of my audition, and my train got delayed. I showed up panting (I had to run from the subway station) and my hair a disaster. Luckily, in The Bacchae, the chorus is full of… well… Bacchae. Fervent followers of Dionysus, wild women, drunk and running through the countryside. In the climax of the play, they crowd the protagonist in a frenzy, literally ripping him limb from limb.
I’ll never know if it was my frenetic energy from barely making it to the theater on time, or my actual acting, but I got the part. My costume fitting was the next day– they weren’t kidding about urgently needing a replacement. Which thrilled me, because I wasn’t kidding about urgently needing the money. At the fitting, I discovered something my agent failed to mention about the production: this wasn’t just any version of The Bacchae, it was a recreation– an attempt to perform the play in the traditional Greek style. In other words, everyone was wearing masks.
I’ve never been fond of masks. We had to do a few assignments with them in my college acting courses; covering your face can enhance the physicality of your body, something like that. But I never liked wearing them, or seeing other people wearing them. It wouldn’t be fair to call it a full-on fear, but the stiffness, the lack of expression, gives me a weird feeling in my stomach. And wearing one, your field of vision limited, your mouth covered, making it harder to breathe, harder to project your voice– I don’t like it. It’s as simple as that.
But I needed the money. My costume wasn’t ugly, per se, just strange: a long white dress, or maybe toga is a better word, the fabric about the thickness of a burlap sack. My mask, stark white, paper mache, covering my entire face except my eyes, the mouth carved to imitate a grin. No shoes. My hair tucked into a wild black wig– we wore wigs, they explained to me, so the chorus could be identical, indistinguishable. We moved as one, spoke as one, and were meant to look like one. They even made sure to cast women of the same height. In our costumes, it was impossible to tell which of us was which.
It didn’t help that I was an outsider to the rest of the cast, joining the show weeks into rehearsals. Everyone seemed annoyed that they had to teach me the blocking, the inflection of the lines (so my voice didn’t stick out from the other chorus girls), and where to go backstage during scenes with no chorus. A few people tried to be nice to me, but quickly gave up when they realized I knew nothing about Greek theater, or masked theater, or the avant garde. My last show had been a regional production of Cats, for God’s sake. I was totally out of my element.
Things got especially sour when I tried to ask what had happened to the girl I was replacing. Nobody wanted to talk about it. People gasped when I brought it up. The clearest answer I got was a whispered, hesitant, “she fell,” but the person wouldn’t elaborate any further. The cast seemed superstitious, uncomfortable, like talking about her would cause them to suffer her fate: removal from the show. And it was clear that, aside from me, everyone else loved this show. The actor playing Dionysus, the couple of times he deigned to talk to me, just kept gushing about how honored he was to play this role, how electrifying it felt to put his history minor to use, to show people a piece of the world’s theatrical beginnings.
I thought the show was fine. Kinda boring, kinda scary. I don’t think I “get” The Bacchae. In brief, the story is about Dionysus, son of Zeus, disguised as a human. He and his followers (the chorus) show up in a town, but the leader of the town, Pentheus, is upset about it. He doesn’t understand why all these women are acting crazy, and he arrests Dionysus, not believing him to be an actual God. As punishment, Dionysus possesses Pentheus’s own mother with the same madness as his followers, and together, with their bare hands, they rip Pentheus apart. His mom walks back into town holding her son’s head, thinking it to be, in her madness, the head of a lion. When she realizes what she’s done, she is overwhelmed by grief, and futilely attempts to put Pentheus’s mutilated corpse back together. Dionysus returns, basically saying, “well, he said I wasn’t a God, and that’s blasphemous, so he got what was coming to him.” Pentheus’s mother is exiled.
It’s incredibly dark. In the reviews, critics called it daring, challenging, a bloody spectacle, a feminist masterpiece. I don’t really get what part of “a man who’s a God possesses women’s minds, driving them to murder” screams “feminism,” but hey, I’m the girl who commuted to New Jersey every day for four months to do Cats, what do I know?
Here’s something I do know: the other chorus girls did not like me. And they took their jobs seriously. As we waited to enter for each scene, there was dead quiet in the wings. Usually, there’s some light joking, maybe quickly running lines, maybe physical warmups, shaking out your nerves– I tried to do this once. Before our entrance at the top of the show, we all gathered in the stage right wing, all twelve of us, a perfect and identical dozen. It was a dress rehearsal. No audience. I did a few jumping jacks, trying to hype myself up. Another masked girl grabbed my bicep, hard. When I turned, she just shook her head “no.” Just a simple, silent, “no.” We don’t do that here. We stand silently in the wings, focusing on our craft, breathing, waiting for our entrance. I never tried it again.
When you can’t talk to your coworkers, acting becomes a lot less fun. The collaboration element is totally gone. And honestly, the “acting” element was gone for me, too. How am I supposed to find my character or sense of identity in a role when my role is “don’t let your voice stick out, don’t take a wrong step, blend in perfectly with eleven women who dislike you?”
So before the shows, instead of chatting, or doing jumping jacks, I wandered the theater. I’ve always loved theaters; the dramatic architecture, the ornate prosceniums, the stark contrast of backstage, so dark, so dusty. The theater was no Broadway house, but it had a fly system (which we didn’t use, because the Greeks wouldn’t have been able to fly anything in), just over three hundred seats (including a mezzanine– fancy!), and lots of backstage space. I could say more about it, because I spent hours during the run of the show wandering, but it wouldn’t be terribly interesting to anyone who’s not me. Just know, it was a beautiful old theater– and I mean OLD. Built in the 1910s, just before the Great Depression. I used to love imagining how many generations of people had performed on that stage, imagining what they’d think of this show, or what they’d think of me.
About a week into my wandering, on some fifteen-minute break, I was looking at the ladder that led up to the catwalk– a long, thin metal walkway stretching across the stage from above, usually used for hanging lights. I wondered how long it had been since it was used during a show. I wondered if it was even safe. What would the view be like from up there, seeing the entire stage from thirty feet in the air?
I slowly looked up the ladder. I wouldn’t actually climb it. That would be crazy, right? I’m not particularly good with heights. As my eyes lifted, I made eye contact– or rather, mask contact– with someone. A fellow chorus girl, up on the catwalk.
I stopped breathing for a second. What was she doing up there? I started to say something stupid, like, “Why are you up there?” when just as quickly as the face appeared, it vanished. I saw her white robed form retreat down the catwalk, heading for a different ladder, probably. It was weird. Why did she run? Embarrassed to be caught somewhere she shouldn’t be?
I allowed myself to entertain a little fantasy: maybe she was just like me. Maybe she also hated the other chorus girls, and didn’t “get” The Bacchae. Maybe she was exploring the theater for fun on our break, enjoying the old architecture, like I did. I had no idea who she was under the mask, and she had no idea who I was. She probably thought I was one of the normal judgemental girls, and ran off before I could tell on her to the stage manager.
I was filled with unfounded hope. Could I make a friend here? Was it possible? After two and a half weeks of silence from the other girls, it was hard to imagine. How would I find her? How would I let her know it was me– that I had seen her on the catwalk, and we were the same?
After that day, I got much more observant. When the director called for a break, instead of immediately retreating into the depths of backstage, I watched my eleven doppelgangers carefully, tracking who went for water, who went back to the dressing rooms, who ran off towards the vending machines. It was hard to tell everyone apart, but people had to take their masks off to drink water eventually. I memorized faces and tried to keep track of them. I started to get a handle on everyone’s patterns, narrowing down potential adventurers.
It was impossible. Eleven people is too many to observe. But I’m an actor. Memorizing shit is literally my job. By week four, just days from opening, I had three potential girls. I tried to stick close to them during rehearsals, picking one to follow each day, but nobody ever wandered towards the catwalk. Maybe the girl, whoever she was, had been scared away from adventuring when I caught her. I started to lose hope. We were opening soon– I should focus on making my entrances, not making friends.
But then I saw her again.
This time, it was half an hour before the curtain went up for our invited dress rehearsal. The press was there. I was nervous. I knew I had my part down, but when you’re doing a show, no matter how prepared you are, there’s always the lingering fear that you’ll freeze up, forget everything, and ruin everyone’s hard work. It just means that you care. I was surprised that I cared so much. I still didn’t even get the play. I couldn’t let the other girls see me weak. I barely show my real feelings to people I care about, much less mean actresses who look down on me. To get away from it all, I wandered down to another unused part of the stage: the orchestra pit. We did have music in the show, but the Greeks didn’t have orchestra pits. So it was closed off, being used as storage.
I loved it down there. I loved looking through the storage bins, finding props from long-forgotten productions– sometimes I would find something incredible, something I swore was from the day the theater opened, something old and valuable– and usually, I could never find it again. Those bins were a treasure trove. Of all the weird little spaces I found backstage, the pit was my favorite. I felt like a real explorer down there, illuminating my path with my phone flashlight, getting spooked when a mouse ran over my foot (of course the theater had mice, it was more than a hundred years old! And besides, every building has mice in New York City).
That day, I wasn’t there to look around. Just to sit. Just to catch my breath. I tiptoed down the creaky steps, and plopped myself on the ground, surrounded by bins. I inhaled and exhaled, smelling the mildew-y scent of old props on every side of me. And that’s when I heard a noise. Not a mouse noise– I was used to those. Something bigger. I turned my phone flashlight on immediately, calling, “hello?”
And the light landed on a mask, just like mine. Mine which was currently off, because I was doing my breathing exercises. I felt exposed– she could see my face, but I couldn’t see hers. I stood up. “You scared me!”
She didn’t respond. She looked at me for a second, and started to retreat the other way, towards the stairs at the other side of the pit.
“Wait!” I called. “I won’t tell anyone I saw you!”
She stopped for a second. But then she kept walking. I stood and followed. “Please stop. Can I at least know who you are? I don’t fit in with most of the chorus girls–”
I reached for her long white toga. I swear, I had it in my hand, but somehow, she slipped away. I staggered a bit, almost tripped, confused that I hadn’t made contact with her costume. And when I looked back up, I only saw a glimpse of her disappearing up the stairs. I tried to follow, again, but I found that side of the pit’s stairs reached a dead end. I didn’t understand how she’d gotten out. And when I looked back down at my phone, it was time for places. Disappointed and defeated, I rushed away to the other stairs, making my way to the stage right wing to wait for my entrance.
I counted heads immediately when I arrived. Maybe she hadn’t made it back yet. But, alas: twelve. All accounted for. I nudged a girl next to me, subtly. “Who was the last one here besides me?”
She just stared at me for a moment, which came off as very creepy through the blank dead stare of her mask. “How the fuck am I supposed to know? We all look exactly the same.”
I sighed. “Okay. Thanks.” For nothing, I thought bitterly.
The invited dress went well. The press liked it, as I’ve already said. I was distracted the entire time. After that day, I made it a habit to count all the girls when the stage manager called for “places.” If I was right about this girl, she, like me, would be one of the last, if not the last one there. She would be wandering, exploring, getting away from the bullies.
I wish I hadn’t done this. I wish I’d given up when she disappeared on a dead-end staircase. I wish I’d never seen her on the catwalk. Because when I started counting heads, I noticed something impossible. Sometimes, before we went on, I counted thirteen identical masked faces.
It was a chorus of twelve. It was supposed to be twelve. I’d recount. Recount again. Thirteen. A chill went down my spine. We all looked the same. Same masks, same togas, same wigs. Who was the imposter? How could anyone be an imposter? It didn’t make sense. How would they get into the theater? How would they get a costume?
I started counting more often. Between scenes, in the dressing rooms, even on stage during dull moments. It fluctuated. Sometimes I’d count twelve for a whole day, an entire show, and sigh in relief, feeling like some curse was broken. But the next day, at least once, I’d count thirteen.
And it seemed as if one masked pair of eyes was always trained on me. I don’t know how she knew it was me. We looked the same. But she’d stare. It felt scary, but also ridiculous– I couldn’t be sure it was the same person looking every time. I couldn’t be sure it was unlucky number thirteen. But I felt like it was.
I felt a lot of things. I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. The other girls already didn’t like me– I couldn’t have them thinking I was crazy. And admitting the presence of the thirteenth would mean admitting to my adventures into forbidden backstage areas. I couldn’t lose this job. I was living paycheck to paycheck. I wasn’t eating well, or sleeping well– maybe this was all a hallucination. And somehow, my biggest feeling was that if I told someone about the thirteenth, I’d never see her again.
And I needed to see her again. The obsession had only gotten stronger. I knew, somehow, deep inside, that she was the one I had seen on the catwalk and in the orchestra pit. I no longer wanted to be her friend– I wanted to corner her. To ask who she was, and why she was sneaking in as if she was one of us. I wanted to ask what she wanted from me.
Because she must want something from me, right? Why else would she stare? Why would she appear only to me?
The timing never lined up. The show had opened at this point, and I had a job to do: delighting the audience. I couldn’t skip my entrance to catch number thirteen. The chorus formations would look ridiculous with a missing person. And as much as the other girls hated me, I owed it to them as my costars to make them look good.
Logically, I knew there was only one person the thirteenth could be: Catalina, the actress I’d replaced. She must be jealous of me. Bitter. Maybe she wanted to take my role, like I’d taken hers. It would be insane, but it was all that made sense. She was the only other person who had the costume, who knew the keypad code to get into the theater. She must have recovered from her fall and come to find me.
It was almost like a game. It definitely made the show more interesting for me. Before I realized what was happening, I dreaded performances. I felt stupid, taking on this role in a show I didn’t even understand. But now I had so much to do. I had to plan.
I started showing up early, an hour before my call time. I walked my old spots, thinking I may see her. The other chorus girls were impressed that I was showing up early, thinking it showed some sort of dedication to the show. I think they even started to hate me less. They still detested any attempts at conversation in the wings, but in the dressing room, I started to have a few breakthroughs. In particular, I started a semi-friendship with Erin. Ironically, she had been one of the three women I thought may be the thirteenth, until I realized the thirteenth wasn’t really one of us at all.
She was the only person who I could actually ask about Catalina. “Did she ever say anything about the theater? The building, I mean? Did she have a favorite part of it?”
Erin would laugh at my seemingly random specificity. “We weren’t close, Michelle. I have no idea what she thought about the theater.”
“What did she do on her breaks?”
Erin thought for a second. “I don’t know. I never saw her at the vending machines, or the dressing room. I guess she found some quiet place to run lines.”
That confirmed it, for me. A quiet place like the catwalk. Or the orchestra pit. We were three weeks into our five week run when I came up with a plan to catch Catalina. It wasn’t a great plan, and I had no idea if it would work, but showing up an hour early every day was making me tired and producing zero results. I needed a new strategy. I realized that after seeing her in the pit, I only ever saw the thirteenth when all twelve of us were together.
So I told a white lie. One night after the show, when everyone was changing in the dressing room, I appealed to my fellow chorus girls. “Are you guys busy before the show tomorrow?” I innocently asked. “I’m feeling a little shaky on some of the entrances. If we could all get here just twenty minutes before our call time tomorrow, I’d love to run some stuff with you guys. I’ve been running it on my own, but without the entire team, I don’t always remember where I fit.”
To my surprise and intense joy, everyone agreed. They really did seem to respect me more when I looked like I was taking my role seriously. I could barely sleep that night, I was so excited to see if my plan worked. And hey, if it didn’t, I had two more weeks of shows to think up something else.
It was a Sunday night, our last show of the week. Mondays are often “dark days” in professional theater, meaning there are no shows that day to give the team a rest. I had planned this on purpose– if I failed, I had a dark day to reflect on that failure and try again.
At 5:40, twenty minutes before our call time, all the girls were assembled and in costume. We started running entrances. After ten minutes, I thought my plan had failed. We had run our first three entrances, and I never counted more than twelve heads in the wings. But around 5:55, as we got to our entrances in act two, offstage, I locked eyes with a mask. A thirteenth mask.
I quickly told everyone “I think I got it, you guys, thank you so much for coming early!” Everyone mumbled that it was no problem, that they were happy to help.
The thirteenth mask broke eye contact with me, looking around in confusion– perhaps distress. The girls started to trickle back towards the dressing room. The thirteenth turned and power-walked away. I shoved through the crowd to catch her, not calling out like I had in the past. I knew she didn’t respond to that. I knew I had to catch her now or never. Once we were out of the crowd’s eyeline, I began to run. She ran, too. “You’re not getting away this time!” I yelled, like some kind of cartoon superhero. My adrenaline was pumping, and blood rushed to my ears.
After I yelled, I suddenly became aware of another set of running feet behind me. “Michelle? Where are you going?” It was Erin’s voice.
“Don’t follow me!” I hastily called back, picking up speed. The thirteenth also picked up speed. Though she was running just as fast as I was, she showed no signs of exertion. I couldn’t hear heavy breathing, or heavy feet on the floor. It was like she was gliding. It infuriated me.
Erin didn’t let up. “Michelle, the stage manager is gonna wonder where we are!”
I ignored her. The thirteenth rounded a corner, and I realized where she was going: the catwalk. The ladder.
She ascended the rungs rapidly, like a spider. I clamored up much less gracefully. Erin’s voice had a heavy tinge of concern. “Michelle, what are you doing?! It’s not safe up there!”
“Then don’t follow me!” I yelled back, exasperated. “This is between me and her!” Despite my vocal warning, I heard Erin climbing behind me.
Once on the metal rail, I looked both ways, terrified she’d escaped me again. But her white toga was just a few feet away, retreating into darkness. I lunged at her. The entire catwalk shook. The thirteenth and I both grabbed the railing to steady ourselves. We met eyes. Or rather, we met masks.
“You have nowhere to go.” I stated.
I heard Erin reaching the top of the ladder behind me. “Michelle, come down, please. You’re scaring me.”
“I can’t. I finally have her.” I took a step towards the thirteenth. She took an equal and opposite step back. “Take the mask off.” I beckoned her. “I know it’s you, Catalina.”
I felt the rail shake slightly as Erin got on it. “What are you talking about, Michelle?!”
“She’s been sneaking in, Erin! She’s been standing in the wings with us before we enter! For weeks!” I took another step towards the thirteenth. In my peripheral vision, I could see how high we were above the stage. Thirty feet. You could die, falling from that height.
“It’s not Catalina. It can’t be. Stop this.” Erin called. Finally, frustrated, I turned towards her.
“Who else could it be?!”
Erin had taken her mask off. Her face was streaked with terror. “Catalina died, Michelle. She fell off this catwalk, directly onto her face, and she died. Please come down with me. I don’t know who you’re talking to, and I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it isn’t worth it.”
“What are you talking about? I’m talking to–”
I turned back, and she was gone. Vanished like a bad dream. “I swear to God, Erin.” I started to say. “She was right in front of me. I chased her here–”
I turned back to Erin. The thirteenth was behind her.
It made no sense. Nobody can move that fast. Nobody can be in front of me one second and behind me the next. It was inhuman. I stopped speaking. I stopped breathing. It sucks to learn that in a fight-or-flight situation, my answer is to freeze.
Erin must’ve seen how my face changed. “Michelle?” She asked quietly. “What’s wrong?”
Behind her, the thirteenth raised a hand to her mask. Her hands were impossibly pale. How had I never noticed that before? She gripped the mask in her hand. Time stretched. It must’ve only been a second, because Erin didn’t move. But it felt like years of my life passed me by as the thirteenth, inch by inch, raised her mask from her face. Or– raised her mask.
Because there was no face.
Under the mask, pale and gruesome, was a bloody flat edge. Broken, disgusting, it was impossible to make out eyes, or a nose, or a mouth. Inside a somewhat face-shaped frame of stark-white skin, all I could see was flesh, red and raw, squished in on itself. Like someone had fallen from a very high height. And landed on their face.
By the time I finally began to react, it was too late. The thirteenth– or, Catalina– or, the ghost, or– whatever the fuck that thing was. It moved its hands from the mask to Erin’s shoulders. And it pushed. And she screamed, agonizingly loud, as she flew over the side of the railing. And she screamed for the second or so she was in the air. I was screaming, too. And after the crunch of her body hitting the wooden floor of the stage, everyone else screamed, cast and crew alike.
I stared down at her limp form from thirty feet up. Her legs were twisted the wrong way. A pool of blood began to seep out of her. When I looked up again, I expected the thirteenth to be gone, but it wasn’t. With no eyes, it was also looking down at Erin. At what it had done.
And then, slowly, it turned towards me. On all fours, backwards, I scrambled away from it on the catwalk, terrified, not wanting to be next. The thirteenth’s shoulders shook rapidly, like a person laughing. But it made no sound. It never made a sound. Not going up the stairs of the orchestra pit. Not when it pushed Erin. And not as it climbed back down the ladder, rung by rung. I found myself alone on the catwalk.
Erin survived, somehow, paralyzed from the waist down. Apparently she fell on her legs, which, when you’re falling from thirty feet up, is a good thing. If she’d gone down head first, there was no chance. The show had to close, of course. When they lost Catalina a few weeks into rehearsal, she was replaceable. But with me refusing to go on, and Erin in the hospital, there was nothing to be done. I haven’t seen Erin since that day. I feel too guilty. But I was never arrested, so I guess she told the authorities that I didn’t push her. I don’t know what she told them. I don’t know what I would’ve told them, had they asked me.
I don’t do stage plays anymore. The family I used to nanny for gave me a star-studded recommendation, and now I make my living taking care of a five-year-old and a two-year-old for another filthy-rich family. I still act, but I only audition for film work.
I don’t even see plays these days. I won’t set foot in a theater. If the thirteenth had vanished off that catwalk, maybe things would be different. Maybe I could chalk it up to an extreme hallucination, some terrifying creature my mind brewed up to cope with the stress of the show and paying rent. Maybe I could even forget its bloody mess of viscera in the vague shape of a face.
But I saw it go down that ladder. Rung by fucking rung. And I know it’s still out there.
Erin was unlucky. Erin was a victim of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. And if I step inside a theater again, some way, somehow, I know the thirteenth will get me on another catwalk.
This time, I’ll be the one going over the railing.
And I’ve never once landed on my feet.
submitted by dollcollective to nosleep [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 04:23 SugaredCereal 32 [F4F] ISO Flirty Bestie

I am a 32 year old female who works full time. In my free time I enjoy sewing, crochet, and recently gardening. I mostly sew clothing with knit fabric and I have a ton of PDF patterns. I enjoy crocheting amgurumi because it takes me longer, so I appreciate instant gratification projects. I'd love to discuss works in projects or just ideas of the next projects in mind.
No matter what I am doing, I am listening to music. Right now some of my favorite bands are Bleachers, Dance Gavin Dance, Bilmuri, Saint Motel, The Strokes. I am open to many genres, but find myself returning to the nostalgia of the 80s/90s.
My absolute favorite hobby is lounging with my cats. I have three amazing cat babies, a black cat, a calico, and a tabby. I absolutely love sharing pictures of my cats and receiving pictures of yours.
I am looking for a female that has some similiar interests to be friends and see where it goes. Ideally we will chat first and meet in person if the vibe is right so I am only looking for someone local. I am in a long term relationship so I am not looking to date. We can dish about everything maybe!?
EDIT: forgot my location lol! Michigan.
submitted by SugaredCereal to r4r [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 04:17 mintfoxy do you refund customers who thought a digital download was a physical product?

i recently started selling crochet patterns and made it clear on my listings that it is a digital download, not a physical product.
a customer messaged me asking when their product would arrive, and got upset/are claiming i scammed them when i clarified that they purchased a digital download.
would you refund them in this situation? i’m not sure if sticking by my shop policy (no refunds) is worth the potential bad review they might leave.
any thoughts are appreciated, thanks!
submitted by mintfoxy to EtsySellers [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 04:05 chbmg Saber - We Want More Balanced Matches! Here's How...

Saber - We Want More Balanced Matches! Here's How...
I'll try to keep this shorter - my last post on this subject was way too long. Brevity is not my strong suit. If you want a detailed analysis, I have one here: My Loquacious Windbag "Word Fort"
I polled the community and we overwhelmingly want most matches to be close/challenging (i.e. balanced): The Poll For Balance
Also, the community has confirmed that the single biggest issue for this game is a lack of balance/fixes: What went wrong with this game?
I put together a chart below to convey the gist of everything I said in my original post. Basically, this chart shows how games tend to snowball for one side or the other based mostly on how good/cooperative survivors are in a match. It only takes 1 bad/low-level survivor to start tilting a match in the demon's favor. Conversely, if all survivors are pretty good/cooperative and are all at level 25+, then the balance tilts more strongly in favor of survivors. At the more extreme ends of this pattern (2+ bad survivors OR a team of prestige survivors all playing their roles well), the game is completely lopsided.
NOTE: The red line below is how things look today. The green line represents what matches could be like with some simple changes.
Percentages above are just a rough estimate - the general PATTERN is the most important part to focus on
Anyway, it's undeniable at this point that most matches are unbalanced. Survivors who yell "demon OP" are likely experiencing more games on the left of the chart, esp. in solo q, and demons who yell "survivors OP" are likely experiencing more games on the right of the chart, esp. against survivors who group up. I play both roughly equally, so I see a lot of this from both sides.
The general problem with balance in this game is that most matches are "stomp or be stomped." Close games are rare, and I think it's much easier to see why with a visual representation.
Also, the game is worse for newcomers than ever before - they're up against even stronger opponents (up to P5) compared to those of us who started after release but before prestige was a thing. This game might be the most hostile online competitive game for newbies that I've ever seen. The vast majority will quit. We need "new blood" for the game to survive. It cannot just be hardcore survivors vs hardcore demons - that scenario will currently favor hardcore survivors so demons will quit, queue times for survivors will reach new heights, and the game will die.
The answer is NOT to just buff/nerf one side. Instead, the answer is to elevate "bad" survivor teams (as in, 1+ "bad" teammates) and challenge "good" survivor teams (as in, the teams that can melt a boss right after it spawns). Similarly, you would also want to elevate "bad/new" demons and challenge "good/veteran" demons. If you do all this together, the chart can look more like the green line and we'll all have more matches that feel balanced.
It's literally painful as someone with a background in programming and game dev to see how easily balance can be improved. I've tweaked the recommendations from my last post to try to stick to the least controversial changes and I'm only listing stuff that can be easily implemented by Saber (as in, most are literally just a couple lines of code).
Proposed Changes:
  1. Fix the "dodge into trap" workaround for fear-looping. Basically, ACTUALLY fix Baal (fear-looping via dodging is mostly only used by veteran demons and not used by newbies). Revert demon traps to their previous behavior for all other demons (this mostly benefits novice demons and mostly just makes games slightly more challenging for lone-wolf veteran survivors)
  2. Make vaulting cost stamina (looping a demon through buildings/railings is mostly only used by veteran survivors)
  3. Create hints for new players at the match loading screen that are clear and direct (more details in original post). Also, add flashing text in the bottom-center of the screen that alerts survivors that they're "playing stupid" (i.e. "the [insert weapon name] you are holding should go to [insert character with this weapon specialty], you should try giving 2 of your 3 Shemps to [insert Support name], you are [insert distance over 100m] from any teammates and should return to them, the [insert "dagger" or "pages"] objective is running - you need to go there, etc.). Obviously, these hints could drastically help new/bad survivors, esp. in solo q
  4. Give out a bonus XP for "good behavior" (not demolishing newbies), cancel XP for “toxic behavior” (flashlight clicking as survivor, dancing on corpses as demon), level up demon based on levels of victims (e.g. less for downing noobs, more for downing pros - base it on the internal MMR stats that Saber already has, rather than just level/prestige). These changes all make the game more welcoming to newbies on both sides
  5. Do not allow dagger and pages objectives to run simultaneously (this "split cap" method is usually only used successfully by veteran survivors, can sometimes be impossible to counter, and can also conversely cause a guaranteed loss for survivors when tried by newbies)
  6. Add a call out in the in-game communication wheel to say "I need help" for survivors. This simple change could help anyone in solo q
  7. Adjust chest rarity RNG based on the overall skill level of survivors (this can also be based more on the internal MMR stats that we know Saber already tracks since we used to have SBMM, rather than just player level/prestige). Also, if a player disconnects, all unopened chests on the map should immediately go up in value (i.e. grey to blue, blue to purple, purple to gold, and gold obviously stays gold). This change literally perfectly challenges veterans and helps bad/unlucky teams, resulting directly in more balanced games
  8. More double XP/SP events. Also, give a one-time bonus of at least 200k+ SP to anyone with zero prestige characters (this helps them quickly get at least 1 survivor or demon up near lvl 25 so they aren't just totally stomped all the time). This helps balance out everyone
FAQ:
Q: Why not just use skill-based matchmaking (SBMM) for balanced matches?
A: Because we don't currently have enough players - queue times would be too high. Also, it still doesn't address the fact that most matches tend to snowball too much right now.
Q: These are just survivor nerfs!
A: That's not a question and no they are not. Please try again. Also, please try demon for a few days.
Q: These are just demon nerfs!
A: That's not a question and no they are not. Please try again. Also, please try solo q for a few days.
Q: Why post a lot of the same stuff again?
A: I made some important changes and my last post fell on some deaf ears. I love the Evil Dead and I love the game and I want it to succeed so we can all keep enjoying it.
A Note To Saber:
Saber, you've said you want to see what the players want and here it is. We want more balanced games and it's so easy to do this stuff in the next patch. More balance = more happy newbies + veterans = higher player numbers = more DLC sales = profit. Please don't just fall back on the same tired buffs and nerfs - give some thought to what's actually wrong and fix it already.
Please get this in front of decision-makers and restore faith in the loyal fans of this game. Otherwise, we're just gonna keep thinking of this whenever we see anything from Saber...
https://preview.redd.it/6cw4oz9mnh4b1.jpg?width=1819&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01f0680b3ecb79cf8a8e8ae815a03d9a66a5e8ba
submitted by chbmg to EvilDeadTheGame [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 04:04 mintfoxy do you refund customers who thought a digital download was a physical product?

i recently started selling crochet patterns and made it clear on my listings that it is a digital download, not a physical product.
a customer messaged me asking when their product would arrive, and got upset/are claiming i scammed them when i clarified that they purchased a digital download.
would you refund them in this situation? i’m not sure if sticking by my shop policy (no refunds) is worth the potential bad review they might leave.
any thoughts are appreciated, thanks!
submitted by mintfoxy to Etsy [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 03:27 Boniestbobcat Love my First Saber, Even Though I Feel Like A Youngling

Love my First Saber, Even Though I Feel Like A Youngling
After lurking this glorious board for a month, reading and rereading the Buyer's Guide, watching a few hours worth of reviews/tests, I took the plunge into the caves of Ilum and came out with a RTS ESB Graflex from VV (arrived within 2 weeks of placing the order)!
I wanted a replica for my first saber--I'll probably get a custom from SaberTrio or Bendu Armory in a few months--and I got chills just opening the box knowing I'd lose my right hand in a couple hours. It's got a heft to it but still swings nice.
The problem was the bunny ears felt loose and when I tried to put the blade in, they sorta popped. No biggie, was a cosmetic choice. Then when I put the blade in the emitter, I couldn't find the spot for the retention screw (I'm sure most folks here can't relate.) Finally, I tried pressing the aux button to change the font and nothing changed. I think it's because the blade's not properly secured but not sure.
TL;DR: I love it but can't change the font or tighten the blade. Can any see what I'm missing? Is it possible to fix the bunny ears myself? Help a fledging youngling pls
submitted by Boniestbobcat to lightsabers [link] [comments]


2023.06.07 02:56 Kiyomi_Raven_Misoto Icarus Sun Fall Chapter 7- War and Love

February 8, 2146, Project Chameleon HQ, Brussels, PRE
It has been a few weeks since Project Autumn has returned back to her normal life. Her days were pretty routine. She would wake up and eat breakfast. Then head to briefs and classes. Then, she would eat lunch before heading off to drills and training that left her sore and extremely fatigued. Autumn would eat dinner, shower, talk to Juliette for a few hours before falling asleep to do it all over again. The days soon became three weeks since she saw Juliette in person. Autumn’s next mission to Rio was quickly approaching. Autumn was excited about it, but what she really wanted to do was spend time with the girl that she really liked. Her training was done, and she was packing her bags for her mission. Autumn was told that she would be a part of the next gauntlet that would take place after she gets back from Rio. She was very excited about it and couldn’t wait to tell Juliette. Autumn looked at the time and saw that it was still five hours before she would normally call Juliette. She was bored, lonely, and really wanted to talk to her. Autumn wrestled with this as she packed her bags.
Agents of Chaos HQ, New York City Containment Zone, PRE
Icari raced through one of the remaining buildings of what was once an overpopulated city. Most of what was once known as New York City was destroyed during the Great War. The city was deserted and hardly anyone lived there. It became the perfect location for the headquarters for the Agents of Chaos. Icari found this out through hacking the government’s mainframe. She decided to put an end to them once and for all. Icari also wanted to know what their connection was to the Prospers. She raced floor to floor eliminating their commanders and whoever she came across. Soon, she found the last remaining members as she stalked
them in the lower parts of the building with her curved blades ready to strike. Icari cornered them ready to end the threat of the Agents of Chaos. They knew that they were out of bullets and out of time. They huddled in fear from what they perceived to be their inevitable demise.
“Wait! Please, don’t kill us.” Agent 1 said with fear in their voice.
Icari was shocked and amused as she stopped and said, “Wait…what? Why shouldn’t I?”
“Be…because we are extremely sorry for all of the stuff that we have done.” Agent 1 replied.
Icari scoffed and started to move closer to them. She suddenly froze when she received a notice of an incoming call. Icari smiled when she saw that it was from Project Autumn.
Icari looked at the Agents and said, “Hey, can you all give me some time. I really need to answer this call.” Icari answered the call with a French accent. “Hello, Mademoiselle Autumn. Is everything alright?”
“Did. Did she just put us on hold?” Agent 1 asked.
“I know right and what’s up with the French accent?” Agent 2 replied.
Icari glared at the agents and put a finger to her lips to silence them. They quickly covered their mouths with their hands with fear in their eyes.
Autumn replied, “Hi, Juliette. It is so good to hear your voice. Yes, everything is fine. I am packing for my mission to Rio. I was bored and lonely. I started to think about you and how much I really miss you.”
Icari smiled as she sat down on a desk facing the agents and said. “Aww. That is sweet of you to say. I have been thinking about you too.”
Autumn said, “I hope that I am not bothering you or anything. Are you busy right now?”
Icari replied, “No, not at all. I was taking care of something easy, but it can wait.”
Autumn quickly replied, “Are you sure? We can talk later if you want.”
Icari smiled and said, “No, it’s okay. I am sure that we can talk now.”
Meanwhile, the remaining Agents of Chaos began to argue with one another about what they
should do. Icari could hear their bickering and became extremely annoyed with everything that they were saying. She stood up and glared at them.
Icari counted the remaining agents, sighed, and said, “Autumn, give me a moment, please. It should take me… about thirty seconds to finish this simple task.”
Autumn replied, “Umm…sure. Take your time. I will be here when you are done. Please don’t take too long.”
Icari smiled and said, “Thank you, Mademoiselle. I promise not to keep you waiting long.”
Icari lunged at the remaining agents as they backed away in horror. Fifteen seconds later, Icari had taken care of the last remaining Agent of Chaos. She picked up a cloth and cleaned her daggers. Icari put them away before she pulled out a black disc out of her pocket. She headed towards their command center.
Icari asked, “Autumn, are you still with me?”
Autumn quickly replied, “Yes, yes. I am still here.”
Icari smiled as she put the disc on the main computer’s case and pushed a button as lights began to light up clockwise. She smiled and said, “Thank you for waiting.”
Autumn smiled and replied, “You’re welcome. I would have waited longer.” Autumn teased as she continued. “But… I guess the issue wasn’t as difficult as you thought.”
Icari laughed and said as she left the command center, “Sorry, I suppose I overestimated how difficult the issue would be.”
Autumn laughed and said, “I guess that I wouldn’t know, but the reason that I called you earlier than normal is I have news that I couldn’t wait to tell you at our normal time.”
Icari picked up a bag as she headed down the stairs to the basement where the building’s support beams were located. Icari said, “News? I appreciate you calling me to give us more time to talk, but what is the news?”
Autumn replied as Icari put small boxes with tubes filled with a green and yellow substance on the support beams and flipped a switch, “Yes, I was told earlier today, that after I get back from the mission to Rio, I will take part in the next gauntlet to decide who I may get paired with. What do you think?”
Icari was shocked and froze when she heard the news. She became scared that it would become a lot more difficult for her to see Autumn. Many feelings and thoughts ran through her head.
Autumn became concerned and asked, “Juliette, are you still there?”
Icari shook her head and replied, “Sorry, to make you concerned, and I am happy for you. Are you excited about your mission to Rio?”
Icari threw the empty bag aside after she placed the last box. She started to head back up the steps to the command center.
Autumn was excited as she replied, “I am super excited to be going for a couple weeks. They said that I deserve it from all of the stuff that I have dealt with lately. It will be two weeks of nothing but swimming and relaxing in the summer air.” Autumn became nervous as she continued. “B-but I- I w-wish that you could be there. It would be my first Valentine’s Day spending it with someone that I really like.”
Icari saw that all of the lights were lit green as she retrieved the black disc. She smiled and said, “Well. Mademoiselle, I may be able to make your wish come true.”
Autumn was shocked as she said, “Really? Tell me you aren’t joking or teasing me. Are you being serious?”
Icari had walked down the stairs to a door that led to an alley. She smiled and replied, “I would not joke or tease you to turn around and break your heart. I cannot make any promises, but I will make sure that I will do my best to help your wish come true.”
Icari walked out the door and pushed a button on her wrist. Suddenly, a black and red motorcycle appeared in the shadows with a black and red helmet with cat ears on it.
Autumn was sad as she said, “I understand. I thought that it would be a great time spending the two weeks with you instead of alone by myself.”
Icari sat on the motorcycle and put on the helmet. The sun started to peek in the east sky. She started
up the motorcycle as she replied, “Do not be sad, Autumn. I promise you that you will have my answer by the time that you land in Rio. You might be surprised by what I can do in such a short period of time.”
Icari pushed a button on her motorcycle as she drove off and disappeared from site. She pushed another button that caused an explosion behind her, and the building collapsed into dust.
Autumn blushed and said, “I believe you and look forward to your answer. Listen, I have to finish packing, eat dinner, and shower. Can I call you later?”
Icari smiled as she replied, “I understand, and you can call me whenever you like. I look forward to talking to you soon, Mademoiselle Autumn.”
Autumn said, “I look forward to talking to you soon too, Juliette. Bye for now.”
Icari said, “Bye for now.” There was a small click. Icari sighed before she continued. “Watcher, are you there?”
Watcher scoffed. “Yes, I am here. Are you done flirting with your girlfriend?” Watcher said annoyed.
Icari snapped back, “I wasn’t flirting with her, and she isn’t my girlfriend. Listen. When I get back to the safe house, I will be uploading the files that I uploaded from the Agents of Chaos mainframe. I need you to decipher the files to see if they were working for the Prospers and any other useful information.”
“Anything else?” Watcher asked.
Icari replied, “Yes, I need you to immediately hack into the system and book a flight for me from Harrisburg to Rio De Janeiro. I need a limousine to take myself and Autumn to the harbor, where a boat will ferry us to a beach home on Paqueta Island. We will be there for two weeks. Put everything under the name Juliette Trudeau.”
“Why should I?” Watcher asked abrasively.
Icari replied, “Well, you have two choices. Either I am out of your hair for two weeks, or I make your life a living hell for the next two weeks. Then, I still book it on my own. You choose.”
“Fine. Fine. It’s not like I care if you spend time with your girlfriend or not. Everything will be taken care of by the time you make it to the safe house and upload the files.” Watcher replied.
Icari snapped back, “For the last time, she is not my girlfriend! And thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t mention it. It is kind of nice to see you happy once more. Have fun and
remember that we have a war to win.” Watcher said kindly.
Icari smiled and said, “Yeah, I won’t forget.”
An hour and a half later, Icari pulled into the safe house in Harrisburg. She pushed a button on her motorcycle and the garage door opened. Icari pushed the button, and it closed. She pushed another button, and they became visible once more. Icari took off her helmet and placed it on her motorcycle. She walked to a wall in the garage and revealed a secret panel. Icari inputted the code, and a secret staircase was revealed. She walked down the stairs as the wall closed behind her. A room lit up as she opened the door. The computer turned on and system was running. Icari approached the computer as she took the black disc out of her pocket. She put the disc on a reader. The lights flashed on and worked in reverse. Icari received the itinerary, confirmation for the rentals, and digital tickets. As the disc was uploaded to their mainframe, Icari walks to a closet marked for Juliette. She opened up the closet and pulled out two bags already packed for her for two weeks in a summer environment. Icari closed the door. When she was done, she walked over to check the disc and saw that it was fully uploaded. Icari grabbed the bags and walked up the stairs. When she got near the top, the computer shut down, door sealed closed, and the secret door into the garage opened. After Icari had passed, the door closed and sealed shut. Icari walked into a normal home and left the bags near the front door. She cooked lunch at the same time Autumn would call her. They talked for a few hours before Autumn headed to bed. Soon, Autumn and Icari headed to their perspective airports to start their journey to Rio. Five hours and forty-five minutes later, Juliette’s plan landed at the International Airport in Rio
De Janeiro. She grabbed her carry-on bag and went to get her check in luggage. Juliette headed for the main doors and walked out into a sunny midmorning day. The air was refreshing, and it was already setting up to be a warm day. Juliette had made sure to change her appearance before she left for the airport. Juliette looked around and saw a limousine. The driver was standing outside it. He was holding a sign with Juliette Trudeau written on it in big letters. She smiled and walked over to him. The driver eyed her as she approached.
Juliette said,” Olá, eu sou Juliette Trudeau.”
The driver lowered the sign. “Olá, eu estive esperando por você, Sra. Trudeau.” The driver replied.
Juliette smiled and asked, “Can I see your sign while you put in my bags in the trunk, please?”
The driver bowed. “As you wish, Sra. Trudeau. Your guest should arrive soon from Brussels.” The driver replied as he handed over the sign and a marker.
Juliette smiled as she took the sign and marker from the driver while she said, “Obrigado.”
“De nada, Sra. Trudeau.” The driver said as he placed Juliette’s luggage in the back.
He walked to where Juliette was and took the sign and marker from her. The driver opened the door for Juliette to get in. When she was seated, he closed the door and stood outside of the limousine. Thirty minutes later, Juliette’s heart began to race as she saw Autumn walk out of the airport with her luggage in tow. Autumn had put on her glasses and looked around. She froze when she looked towards the limousine. Autumn slowly walked over to the driver.
Autumn cautiously said, “Hi, I am Project Autumn. Are you looking for me?”
The driver bowed. “Yes, I have been expecting you, Sra. Autumn. Let me put your luggage in the trunk.” The driver replied.
Autumn thought, “I never would think that Project Chameleon would have a limo waiting for me at the airport.”
Autumn replied, “Umm… sure. Thank you.”
The driver opened the door for Autumn to get in. He closed the door after she was comfortably seated in the back of the limousine. Autumn watched the driver take her stuff to the back. She was startled, and her heartbeat faster when she heard the sound of a familiar voice from inside the limousine.
Juliette smiled and said, “Hello, Mademoiselle, Autumn.”
Autumn instinctively lunged at Juliette as she turned to face her and kissed her lips. She immediately realized what she had done from the shocked look on Juliette’s face and blushed as she moved away. Juliette smiled and took Autumn’s hands into her own.
Autumn said, “Hi, and I’m sorry Juliette. I don’t know what came over me. I just got so excited that you were here.” Autumn took a deep breath before she continued. “Wh-what are you doing here?”
Juliette replied, “It’s okay. I am happy to see you too. I told you that you would have my answer by the time that you had landed here. I thought that the best way for me to give you my answer was to be here in person to give it to you.”
They heard the sound of the trunk closing and saw the driver walk down the side of the limousine to the driver’s door. He opened it, got in, closed the door, and started the engine. He pulled away from the cub and headed towards the pier.
Autumn said, “I am really glad that you brought your answer to me. When did you get here? How long will you be able to stay here?”
Juliette squeezed Autumn’s hands and smiled as she replied, “So am I. I got here around two hours before you did. If it is alright with you, I plan on being here the entire two weeks that you are.”
Autumn smiled as she said, “Yes, yes. That would be perfect for me. But…where are we headed?”
Juliette winked as she replied, “It is a secret, and you will have to find out when we get there.”
The driver drove them through town as they talked in the back of the limousine. When they arrived at the pier, The driver parked the limousine and got out. He went to the side and opened the
door. Autumn and Juliette got out and looked around. They spotted a yacht ready to go as the driver took their luggage out of the trunk. Some men came over and grabbed their luggage, and they followed them onto the yacht as the limousine pulled away. Thirty minutes later the yacht pulled away from the pier and headed towards a small island. Autumn looked around excitedly as Juliette smiled and watched her reactions. Soon, they had docked at the island. Another limousine was waiting at the pier as they got off the yacht. The same two men carried their luggage off of the yacht, and the driver put the luggage in the trunk of the limousine after Autumn and Juliette got in. They drove them a little ways until they reached an office building. Juliette got out and checked in. She came back out with their keys. The driver drove them to the beach front rental home. As Autumn got out, she was amazed. She turned to face Juliette as the driver took their luggage out of the trunk.
Juliette smiled brightly as she said, “Surprise.”
Autumn was still shocked as she asked, “Are we staying here the entire time?
Juliette nodded as she replied, “Oui, this is the rental home that I had reserved for us the two weeks. Are you surprised?”
Autumn looked at home and back at Juliette. She blushed as she replied, “Very much so. I can’t believe that you would go through all of this trouble just for me. Thank you.”
Juliette smiled and said, “It was no trouble at all to see you. You’re very welcome. Shall we go inside?”
Autumn blushed and replied, “Yes, I would like that.”
They grabbed their luggage and headed to the front door. Juliette pulled out the key cards and handed one to Autumn. She swiped the key card reader. It beeped, turned green, and an audible click could be heard signaling that it had been unlocked. They headed inside and were at awe from how beautiful everything looked. They looked around and saw two large rooms, a kitchen, patio, living room, both rooms had a bathroom, a breakfast nook, pool, jacuzzi, grill, study, and everything that someone would need. They walked back to the bedrooms.
Juliette asked, “Which room would you like to take?”
Autumn looked away and replied, “Well…I was…thinking that…that we could share…the same room, if…if you don’t mind.”
Juliette smiled and replied, “I don’t mind. I would enjoy that very much.”
Autumn smiled and said, “I would like that too.”
They picked the largest room and took their stuff in there. They put everything away and decided to change into their swimsuits. They headed to the beach and swam for a while. Autumn and Juliette grew closer through the days. They spent every day together. On Valentine’s Day, they went swimming when the sun rose. Autumn and Juliette came back and feed each other chocolates and ate chocolates. They laughed and were having fun until Juliette remembered that soon Autumn would leave for the labyrinth to run the gauntlet and became sad. Autumn noticed this and became concerned.
Autumn was concerned as she asked, “What is wrong, Juliette? Why are you so sad?”
Juliette frowned as she replied, “I just remembered that you will be going away soon for the gauntlet
where they will team you up with a new partner. Then, there will be no room for me in your…”
Juliette was shocked as she looked up at Autumn who had put her finger on her lips.
Autumn smiled warmly as she said, “No one will take your place in my heart, Juliette. I don’t care who they pair me with, but you will be the only one for me. So, do not worry about that. I will always be only yours.”
Juliette smiled and lunged forward knocking Autumn over and the chocolates onto the floor. She kissed Autumn deeply. The day past and was the best Valentine’s Day Autumn ever had. She woke up the next morning to realize that Juliette wasn’t in bed with her. Autumn could hear Juliette’s voice carrying in from the patio. She decided to see what is going on. She was sleepy as she got up, stretched and yawned as she put on a robe. She walked to the patio as she rubbed her eyes.
Juliette said, “.... Yes I... I promise that...See you...I.., you.”
Autumn smiled when she saw Juliette watching the sun rise. She was in a robe and held a cup of coffee. Autumn walked over to Juliette and hugged her from behind. She caught the smell of the coffee, the morning air, the beach, and Juliette’s hair. Juliette smiled and giggled from Autumn’s warm embrace. She leaned back into her. Then, Juliette turned around to face Autumn and handed her the mug that she was holding as she leaned against the railing. Autumn sipped coffee and smiled.
Juliette said, “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
Autumn smiled and nodded as she replied, “Good morning. I slept very well. I woke up, and you weren’t in bed. I heard you talking to someone. Is everything okay? Who were you talking to?”
Juliette took the mug from Autumn as she replied, “I am sorry to have worried you. I am usually back in bed before you wake up. Yes, everything is fine. I was talking to Dr. Hubert like I do every morning to make sure everything is okay back at home. You know that you could always just run away with me. I know a place where they will never find us. We could start a new life together.”
Autumn smiled warmly as she said, “I am glad everything is going well back home for you. I would like that, but you know that I can’t leave. We would have to look over our shoulders for the rest of our lives on the run.”
Juliette frowned, looked at the mug, and replied, “I know, and I wouldn’t want to live on the run either.” Juliette paused before she continued. “I just have a bad feeling about this. Please, stay safe.”
Autumn put her hands on Juliette’s as she replied, “I will be safe. There is nothing to worry about. The gauntlet is completely safe, because only training rounds are allowed to tally up scores. I will call you immediately after it is over to prove that nothing happened to me.”
Juliette looked into Autumns eyes and said, “I hope that you are right.”
The rest of the time flew by and soon they headed back to the airport for their flights. Autumn left first, and Juliette left next. Juliette landed in Harrisburg International Airport. Autumn landed at Brussels. They had a quick conversation as Icari made it to the safe house. After they hung up, Icari got a phone call from Watcher.
“Hey, Icari. I hope that you had fun. I went over the files that you sent me, but I couldn’t decode them. So, I…” Watcher started to say.
There was a brief pause before a monotone girl’s voice spoke. “Hi, mommy. We need to talk.” The girl said.
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2023.06.07 02:27 thecursedmanCLW To my love , wherever you are

I know that i shouldn't be thinking of you right now , you left so long ago that you probably forgot about me. But i didn't forget you. How could I ? You have reached into the darkest parts of my heart and brought light there. You revived me when i was suffocating and you saved me from myself. Even though you don't realize this .. or maybe you just don't care. I don't know but i care so much that it's burned the edges of my soul. I'm hurt that you left me all alone , that you didn't say goodbye. I've mourned you every time you left me but i still get choked up when i think of you. But i understand now why you did this ,i know why you left. You're focused on yourself and your life now and i am truly grateful you've decided to do so. That you've decided too change and make it better. But I'm so mad you left me behind.
You said that you loved me , i believed it. I still do. There's not a doubt in my heart nor my soul that you loved me. I know your heart was full of the love you had for me. It was just the wrong timing and every time we talked, it was the same repeating pattern.. almost like destiny was teasing us, torturing us , driving us mad with each other. And i know you cared so deeply that it physically hurt at the thought of us separating. You were always in my dreams , my visions , my heart. No matter what i did. I saw you in every song , every movie , every display case in the stores. I saw daydreams and illustrations, all of them about you. Every thing reminded me of you.. and it still does. Every single time i see something , i think of you.
I wish i could call you right now or even just message you but i know you would not respond. And your number has been disconnected long ago. And don't worry, i get it. I get why you'd want your space but God damn am i mad that you've done this to me. Too us.
They say these kinds of things pass with time , that I'll grieve you and move on but.. it's been 5, years (maybe 6) since i first met you and I'm still haunted by every single thing. I'm still getting over you. You always kept coming back and back , like i never grieved you when you would leave for so long. You never understood how deep my love was for you or who i was to you. It's like you were so completely engulfed in your own sorrow, to engulfed to care. And i wish you just knew how much it kills me to be away , how much this hurt has followed me throughout the many months since we last spoke. I am hurt. I am grieving but i keep seeing you in my dreams. I flashback and it's like you're here again. It's haunting but i can't look away , i can't get away from you. I love you too much. So deeply. I would lay here and die for you without a single hesitation. And i know things weren't always the best but I'm better now and I'm sure you are too. We've grown so much , least i know i have. I only hope that you did too.
And i wish there was a restart button for us , a backwards button, something that could bring me back to you again. Because I'd press it in a heartbeat just to be beside you again. Too even hear your voice again. My heart aches for you, i just want you to know this.
I love you , please come home to me some day.
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2023.06.07 02:19 Delicious-Tadpole-92 How to Erase Data From Someone’s Phone? / How Can I Get Back Deleted Text On A Smartphone Get Deleted Text On iPhone/Android Device (Samsung, Lg, Xiomi, Google Pixel/ How Do I Access My Husband' Text Messages Remotely?

Not only hackers available for hire can do all the software related techniques, even you can do it if you know the techniques and use them logically.
Smartphones have become everyone’s digital pet. They are not only using for communication but also to hold their personal information. But the technology developed and we can wipe the data of other’s smartphones by phone hacker even though it is password protected.
Wiping data removes all the data from the smartphone. There are some techniques where we can remove data from somebody’s phone. If you have their phone and you want to wipe the data; then you can use this technique.
Ways to wipe data secretly:
Step 1: Unlock the phone
Method 1:
  1. Set-up fast boot in your PC
  2. Google “TWRP for your phone device”, download it and rename it
Eg: twrp.img
  1. Paste the downloaded file in your fast boot folder
  2. Connect your smartphone device to your PC using the USB cable and make sure USB debugging is on
  3. Go to the fast boot folder; press and hold the shift button on the keyboard; press the right click of the mouse
  4. From that option, click “Open command window” or “Open power shell”. It will open a black window
  5. Then type command “fast boot device” and it will open a tab
  6. On that tab, type command “fast boot boot” along with the downloaded file name and press enter
Eg: fast boot twrp.img
  1. This device will boot into TWRP recovery mode. In the file manager of twrp navigate to data and in the system folder find the password.key or gesture.key and delete it
  2. Finally, reboot the device. Then you can see your smartphone device doesn’t have a password or pattern or any type of screen lock
After holding the buttons together, the smartphone will show up some options. In that, click factory data reset. Once you click that option, the smartphone will get unlock
Method 2:
The above can be used for android phones, but what the smartphone device is an iPhone. The listed methods can’t be useful in the iPhone so here are some methods which can be used to unlock an iPhone.
  1. Connect the iPhone device to the computer and open iTunes. Put the iPhone in recovery mode by using the following keys;
If the smartphone device is iPhone 8, X or later then press and quickly release the volume up button. Press and quickly release the volume down button. Then press and hold the power button until the recovery option appears on the screen.
For iPhone 7, press and hold both the power and volume down button at the same time. Keep holding them till the recovery option appears on the screen.
If it is iPhone6 or 6S; then press and hold both the home and power button at the same time until the recovery options appear on the screen.
  1. Once the iPhone got into the recovery mode; iTunes will pop you a dialog box which shows you the options like recovery or update. From that, choose the recovery option
  2. iTunes will start to download software for the iPhone. When the download gets finished, iTunes will restore the iPhone to factory settings and wipe everything include the passcode. So, now you can access the smartphone device
But sometimes in the above process, after restoring the iPhone will ask for previous Apple ID and password for activation if the iPhone is linked to the Apple ID and had enabled “Find my iPhone”. So, at that time you can’t use the second step.
  1. Download and install “iSumsoft iPhone Passcode Refixer” on your PC. Connect your iPhone to the PC using a cable
  2. Choose the “Unlock lock screen” option and on the next page click start to proceed
  3. The software will ask you to download the firmware package for the iPhone to be unlocked, so click the download option
  4. After downloading, you can click the unlock button to start unlocking the iPhone
  5. Just wait for a few minutes and then your iPhone will be unlocked successfully
Step 2: Wipe the data
After unlocking the phone, you can wipe the data by the simple process. Most of the factory reset doesn’t completely wipe all the data from the smartphone; you can encrypt the data so that no one can restore the data even if they try to access it.
  1. Go to settings, click security & location
  2. In that, tap encryption & credentials
  3. Click encrypt phone
  4. You can wipe the data and upload a dummy data for an extra layer of security
The above-mentioned ideas can be used if you lost your phone and you need to wipe out all your information from the phone. These steps will be safeguarding your stuff without exposing it to the third-party.

A Phone Hacker assist you

Do you want to search a professional cell phone hacker? Hire a professional phone hacker for hire is one of the best choices for those people that are looking to protect their privacy on the phone. As we all know, cell phones have revolutionized the way we communicate with each other.

REACH OUT TO Allhackgecko.com
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